Balls Up (2026) Movie Script

My name is Brad.
I can only imagine,
as a man of Brazil,
you know all about passion.
He's not wrong.
Now we're talking.
Fuck it.
Kill the Argentines!
Kill the Americans!
I can't believe you're going to
represent these animals.
No chance they're figuring it out.
Get out. Out!
The Stupids.
Now it's up to you, sir.
Shut the fuck up!
Enough of your nonsense!
The Stupids!
If I got a chance,
I would kill those guys!
It's only a matter of time!
And they will be dead!
It's about fucking time!
So much-needed protection
for my exposed testicles.
Come on! Let's go!
Murphy's Law.
He finally lets us invite
a few bikini girls
to a party and...
Hey, is your stomach hurting?
It's probably that artichoke dip.
No. Wait.
The cocaine!
The cocaine!
Holy shit.
Not only do you have a dick inside you,
but two ballbags too.
All thanks to those Americans.
The tall one, "Brad"?
He thought he actually had
a chance with me.
He got lucky.
He has such small-dick energy.
So neurotic.
Be careful.
Never pee in the water.
That's where the tiny,
terrible vampire fish lives.
It swims up the urine stream,
gets into your bladder,
and eats you from the inside.
This tiny fish
has killed many large men.
We have located the targets.
Let's go, Paulo!