Bampire (2025) Movie Script
Oh, hi.
This is not
your grandma's Bambi.
In fact, this isn't
a Bambi story at all.
Sure, there's deer in it,
and other woodland creatures.
But this is a story about
something much scarier,
even scarier
than the part in the cartoon
where they kill Bambi's mom.
-This is a story
about a bampire.
Come on, you gotta keep up.
Come on.
Lorraine.
I am going to die out here.
I swear, it's just
a little bit further.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Have a little faith.
"Beware"?
They're home! You idiot.
It's just the TV.
They leave it on all night.
Yeah. It's 3 a.m...
We are so good.
Relax.
Enjoy yourself.
Can you imagine...
having one of
these in your own backyard?
No.
I bet they barely even use it.
Hmm.
You're gonna have
to put it in my mouth.
I have no hands.
Now, that
is what I like to hear.
Shut up.
No!
See, bampires suck.
I should know.
I've been dealing with them
pretty much my entire life,
but this isn't the
beginning of our story.
Let me take you back
to a happier time,
the year was 1998.
Chug-chug-chug-chug.
Chug-chug-chug-chug.
Chug-chug-chug-chug.
Chug-chug-chug-chug.
Choo-choo!
I have your papers here, graded,
if you'd like to review them.
Hurry up!
Okay, okay. Chill.
Oh, Nonda, I was very
impressed with your work...
...as always.
Let me know
if there's extra credit.
You got a 90%.
I know, so close.
Oh, Daniel, you got a moment?
I might recommend you
take this home.
-I'm good.
- There's more
to this world
than filming it.
You could
understand it, study it.
With the,
uh, scientific method?
Of course.
Which the first step
is to observe.
Filming something
is different than
scientific observation, Daniel.
Is it, though?
Soccer tryouts today at four.
So, I know that
you have all been thinking
about your final
film project since
first semester,
and I know
that I have been withholding.
This ends today.
This program has an emphasis
on the storytelling side
of scientific journalism.
That said,
I expect a 10-minute visual
documentary on the subject
of your choice.
No words,
just a new perspective.
A unique point of view.
Any questions?
Oh, my gosh.
Branson?
Hey.
How was work?
Great, uh...
Still there, just leaving.
You ready?
Yeah, yeah, I just got out.
Are you sure
you're not gonna be late?
Because I could just call Dana.
Not that late.
I'll see you soon...
...ish.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome to the stage
the incomparable Bambi!
Okay, I already told
you this is not a Bambi story.
So, while Leroy here
watches this nice,
young lady dance,
let me tell you a few
things I've learned
about bampires over the years.
Basically, a bampire
is a shapeshifter.
They can look like a deer,
well, a deer with fangs.
They can look like a human
being, just like you or me,
or they can look like something
else, something in between.
They're fast, faster than you
think, and strong as hell.
So if you're not careful,
you might lose an arm
or a leg or even your head
if the mood strikes them.
Now, you're probably wondering
why I call them bampires.
You see, as a kid,
I loved the movie Bambi,
and these things have fangs
like vampires.
So, "bampire."
Bottom line, it's a
fucking monster.
Asshole.
You're an hour late, dumbass.
I gotta give my girl a ride.
The fun kind?
Sorry, man.
See ya, Leroy.
Go fuck yourself, Branson.
Hello?
-Hey.
I think Branson's flaking.
Are you free now?
Wait.
Did you just get out of class?
No. Shut up.
Uh-huh. Professor
Fatcock keep you late?
Oh, my God. I never
should have told you that.
"I don't know. Like, 12?"
Have you seen a ruler?
Hey, maybe it was his pants
or something, okay?
It's not like I would ever...
-Gotta go. Bye.
Just because it's big
doesn't mean it works.
Hey, babe.
Uh, I got stuck
behind a ambulance, and--
and then I was held up.
At gunpoint?
No.
And you know I hate
it when you-- ugh,
smoke and drive.
Ah, geez, Nonda.
It's like you...
Ah! Shit!
Branson!
Dear Chuck,
it's been a while, hasn't it?
But I hope you're doing well.
How's that wife of yours?
Me and the boys,
we're doing fine.
You won't believe
how big Tanner's got.
And he's grown
into a fine marksman.
Just as good with that bow
as he is with a rifle.
And Nathan turned into quite
the little buck, too.
I mean, he had this run-in with
a baby bear the other day.
He wasn't even scared.
Poor thing was probably
more scared of him.
Anyway, I thought you might
find these photos interesting.
We were out hunting last week,
and we came across this cave
right in our
-own backyard.
It had the strangest
markings on the wall.
Some kind of deer with fangs.
I thought maybe you
could come out here
and take a look for yourself.
You were always into
that kind of stuff.
Sure would be great
to catch up.
Stanley.
Where you headed?
I keep seeing all these young
people out here.
It's getting worse and worse.
Any idea where
they're coming from?
You mean the ones leaving
all this shit around?
My guess is they're
from the community college
over in Jefferson.
Headed that direction
if you want a lift?
You know...
if you're into conservation,
you really need to talk
to this teacher I had.
Professor Charlie.
That guy's a bit of a nut, but
I tell you what,
he knew everything
about nature.
Really set me on the right path.
Hello.
I'm looking
for Professor Charlie?
Well, that's me.
Your name, dear?
Amy.
So, Amy,
are you a science major?
-Oh, yes.
-And I trust
you've completed all
the level 100 classes?
100 classes?
Well, the prerequisites.
Which of the sciences
are you most interested in?
The great outdoors.
Then I've got just the thing.
Now, as your professor,
it's my job to encourage...
-...and inspire my students.
Oh, Amy, could you
get the lights, please?
The lights?
Sorry.
We've been granted the
opportunity to explore
this cave system firsthand.
What is this?
Discovered on
privately-owned land,
this cave may contain
one of the oldest
known paintings
in Northwestern America.
-Now, as you can see,
they've rendered
the unmistakable image
of a rare fanged-deer species
thought only to populate
this latitude across the seas.
-The musk deer.
Woah. Bambi's got bite.
Bambi?
More like
deeracula.
So you're hunting them?
No, no.
A friend has given us permission
to fully document this image,
as well as any evidence
of the unprecedented
existence of the creature
-in the Cascades.
Now, this will be
a full weekend field trip.
Oh, I know, I know.
Every one of you is not
a budding anthropologist.
But this is the history
of your backyard,
and this wall may contain one
of your first discoveries.
Plus, there's many
extra credit points.
Are you a student?
Hey!
Why you got that?
It looks interesting.
A whole weekend
in the forest with that guy?
To prove a hypothesis.
Yeah, to prove something.
What's that supposed to mean?
You can't make me jealous.
He's married.
He's got a fat cock.
-How did you--
-Dana.
Okay, I don't think
she likes me.
Oh, my God.
See, you're embarrassed.
-Screw you, Branson.
-Oh, what?
You just admitted it.
Can I be your plus one?
You don't even go to college.
Nonda.
Come on.
I wanna go with you.
Seriously.
Please?
Whatever.
What the fuck kind
of deer is this?
Hey, can we drink on this thing?
Well, not inside this thing,
but all whom are of age,
help yourselves
once we bed down
for the evening.
I myself find it
impossible to sleep
without a bit of the tonic
under these conditions.
-Conditions?
- I trust
you all brought the
recommended equipment?
-Of course.
-Was there, like, a list?
A long one.
Did you bring a tent?
Sleeping bag?
-No.
-Then what's in your bag?
-Gear.
For cameras only?
Hey, what even needs
to be filmed, fucking...
...rocks?
Who knows?
That's the spirit, Daniel.
Who knows what discoveries
the forest can hold?
If the musk deer
did inhabit this region,
whatever drove them out?
Perhaps a disease?
Accidental decimation due to
gluttonous human ideology?
A festivus hunt?
Like a witch hunt?
No, not really. I...
Like in Salem?
Well, I-- I don't
think that's...
We just read about that.
Those were not real witches.
What if it was a race war?
Deer versus... man?
Not just any deer.
Musk deer, they're called.
But as I said,
finding them at all
on this continent would be...
...quite notable.
Quite notable indeed.
Oh.
-Stan!
My leg wasn't asleep,
I'd run over there and--
Is this Tanner?
My word,
you've grown
into a man in my absence.
Uncle Chuck.
That is what you call me.
Uh-- and this,
your newest recruit?
Nathan, is it?
I don't believe we've met.
I don't believe we have.
Hey, that's me.
Yeah, I think I was seven,
eight years old.
I can't quite remember.
I guess it doesn't matter now.
There's nobody left to care.
-Can I drink yet?
There'll be plenty
of time for libations
and war stories
around the campfire
this evening.
Until then, everyone,
grab your backpacks
and make use of the last toilet
we'll see this weekend.
What?
So good to see you.
Hey.
Hey.
-So, are you--
Geez. Are you liking
it out here so far?
Yeah--
You ain't got another bathroom?
I'm gonna...
-Yeah.
- Yeah.
Branson...
And that was it.
That was the last time
most of them
would ever get
to use a real bathroom.
Now, I don't want to skip too
far ahead in the story,
but if you're wondering if
things are gonna go south for
Uncle Chuck and his students...
well...
let me just ask you this...
Does a bear shit in the woods?
-Squatch-man!
Put that shit down.
Don't be teaching my
boy your disrespect.
I...
Geez.
Hey, Professor, check this out.
- Hmm.
My, my. Big canines.
Very big.
Obviously a bear skull.
But... where's the rest of it?
That's a nice haul
you got there, bud.
Can someone help me...
with the tents?
-What are those?
-Hmm?
Oh, these are trail cameras.
Of course you'd be interested.
The, uh, science department
wasn't making
use of them, so I
thought they could
be our second eyes.
How do they work?
Oh, well, the photo's taken when
the infrared beam's broken.
So if anything crosses our path,
we'll have a photo record.
You're, uh--
you're setting them up tonight?
We have mere days, Daniel.
Oh, I know,
it may seem like an eternity.
But oftentimes great discoveries
take a surmounting effort.
Well, you want some help?
Do you know the look
of a game trail?
The look of the what?
Well, then we'll travel together
and share the load between us.
Get your empty bag there,
will you?
Can you help?
I'm sorry, I've never seen
a tent like that before.
I'm useless.
So where are you sleeping?
It's all in there.
You camp a lot then?
Every night, if I can.
So why not just live out here?
We all do, don't we?
The load'll get lighter
as we go along.
Taking off?
Oh, we'll be back by dark.
Well, make sure you are.
Confirmed bear activity
in the area.
You've mentioned, Stanley.
We'll be exceedingly careful.
-Okay.
No, don't take my-- Okay.
Where the fuck did you go?
Oh...
Sweet.
It cold?
Too cold for you.
You want these?
-'Cause I could--
Amy?
Amy!
Fuck this shit.
All right.
We're off to bed.
Sweet dreams,
my most dearest friend.
Careful.
He's a sap when he drinks.
Well...
I was once like you.
Good student.
A researcher to my core.
A good husband.
Well...
...so I thought.
It's a hard metric.
The love of a woman.
Far too many
variables to account for.
I gotta whiz.
Carefully now.
Amy?
Are you okay?
Have you seen Amy?
No.
Branson!
Ah! Stupid!
Fucking stupid!
Fuck!
You're going the wrong way.
-Dude.
What's in those roots?
Hey, what the shit is this?
I was waiting for you, jackass!
Where the fuck were you two?
I was swimming.
I got lost.
I'm sorry, okay? I--
Are you bleeding?
Let's just go to bed.
Good night.
Good night.
What happened?
I got lost.
You're all, like,
bloody and weird.
Nonda...
Nonda?
What are you doing?
It's my assigned meal.
There were assigned meals?
I brought extra.
In case anybody forgot.
Plus Branson's.
Is that pan cast iron?
Your packet must have
weighed 50 pounds.
You'll thank me later.
Pancakes in the woods.
My everlasting thanks.
And the blackberries.
It was nothing.
They're the best part.
Are you sure
you don't want a pancake?
No, thank you.
Alright.
I gotta get little buck
back to school.
Travel safe.
Tanner's got old faithful.
Can reach anywhere
in these mountains.
If you need anything,
you just give a holler.
Yes, we will.
It's been an honor,
my brother-in-arms.
Oh, that reminds me, Daniel.
We'll need to check
on those cameras.
Uh, yeah, totally.
This time, you'll take
the southern cameras.
I'll head north.
Okay, so...
-If you go that way...
And then we go...
-Yeah.
And upon our return...
we'll away to the caves.
You're really good with that.
-Deadly.
Did you teach yourself?
My family...
they were...
...survivalists.
What happened to them?
-They were all murdered.
Oh...
Time for lunch.
Well, I suppose one
or two is to be expected.
Oh, shit.
I think this is broken.
Yeah.
Yeah, this one too, maybe.
Fuck, serious?
I don't know.
You check.
Yeah, it's hard to tell.
Let's just take it back to camp.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Thank you, Leroy.
What the fuck?
Uh...
Why did you
even bring that thing?
Protection.
Have you ever been camping?
Just don't let anyone see.
Branson.
Huh.
Now, if the wind...
...normally gusts from the
northwest to the southeast.
But the sun always
sets in the west.
Then this must be north.
And I must be very, very lost.
It seems like...
I know.
Maybe Chuck will do better.
Who's in charge of lunch?
You. And you're
making instant noodles.
Just boil the water.
Is Charlie back yet?
Don't see him.
Helpful.
Hey, my job is noodles...
not finding your boyfriend.
He is not my boyfriend, okay?
You're not even my boyfriend, so
just shut up about boyfriends.
I, uh--
I guess I'll go
find Uncle Chuck.
Yeah, why don't I help?
I don't understand!
These new game trails?
How, in the space
of one evening?
Every sodding deer,
west of the--
He's a slutty,
shorts eating, jerkface.
Have you told him the,
uh, depth of your feelings?
Yeah, but I'm not exactly
awesome at it.
Besides, we're not even dating.
Do you want to be?
As if!
He's so-- Ugh!
'Cause it'd be okay if you did.
Thanks, Dad.
But for your information,
this isn't some type of
sad, boy-meets-girl,
I-can-change-him...
No, Nonda, Nonda. I just mean,
even if he's a jerk...
...it's okay
if you want to date him.
-But--
-Not that you do,
you know, but... if you did.
I thought you were good at this.
I am good at this.
And we would've
come across him by now
if he hadn't veered off.
Could be making loops.
Fine.
Then let's just wait here.
So...
...you and Nonda?
Yup.
Do you date much?
No.
Waiting till marriage?
The right person,
I guess, but...
...that seems less
and less likely.
Nonda's that type.
The waiting till?
The...
...right person...
...type.
Then you're a lucky guy.
Look, I'ma head back.
You coming?
I'm gonna take another loop back
in the other direction and see
if I can cut him off.
You didn't find him.
Tanner's still looking.
-Hey, I'm sorry about--
-I need a bath.
Where's Amy?
-Why do you need--
-I said, I need a bath.
Okay.
-Geez.
Hey, Branson, I'll come too.
How's the water?
It's fucking cold!
How does it see
from so far away?
It's so small.
Well, the lens.
It magnifies the subject so I
don't have to disturb anything.
I love it.
Yeah, me too.
I'm coming out.
Don't look.
Amy?
Danny?
You fucks!
What these fucking
kids didn't understand
is that this wasn't a game.
Not like in the movies.
The woods didn't care about
their relationship problems.
These woods were hungry.
They were gonna eat them alive.
Literally.
Help!
Help me!
Oh, you've done it
this time, Chuck.
You...
Help!
Crawl, you maggot.
"Where's Branson" is becoming
my new catchphrase.
Do you think he's lost again?
Help me find him.
He said he didn't
want us to look.
Danny?
Take your compass.
He's too east.
Oh, my god...
Is she why you're here?
Actually, I'm seeking
a new perspective.
I figured I wouldn't get it
being in the same places
with the same people
day after day.
Everything's different out here.
Every day it's colder.
The sun sets earlier.
Things are changing.
Constantly.
Might seem like it all happens
at once, but...
...not to those
who are watching.
Branson!
Branson, I fucking see you.
It's not what it looks like.
-What does it even look like?
-Do you have... pants?
On?
Um.
Never mind.
Branson!
Oh, come on.
Admit it.
You wanna hunt
the great white snake.
Oh, my God. Stop.
-No.
Ah!
You're crazy!
Help me!
-He corrals.
- Ah, geez, Branson.
-He strikes.
Branson, put me down.
Did you find him?
Hey, did you find him?
Chuck, Nonda.
Nonda, Chuck.
No, I did not find him.
These hills are crisscrossed
with all sorts
of fresh new trails.
Chances are he followed
one off too far
and couldn't find his way back.
This is the only one I found
that wasn't like the others.
So what are we gonna do?
He only took one bottle of
water, no food, no shelter.
You didn't pack him a lunch?
We gotta go out and look.
We didn't make it
to the cave yesterday.
I mean, maybe
he tried this morning.
Okay...
Here's what we're gonna do.
Everyone grab
a yellow poncho, okay?
They're reflective,
high visibility.
I don't need any other
city folk getting lost.
Let's go.
You read me?
You read me?
Over.
Go ahead, buck.
How's day two?
Chuck's gone
and got himself lost.
Well, you know the drill.
He wouldn't have been
able to miss the road.
Little buck and I'll drive it
just in case he got
lost enough to think
it's his best chance.
Copy that.
I'll radio when we're back.
Over and out.
All right, listen up.
Here's the plan. Nobody's gonna
be far and never out of earshot.
Okay? We're leaving camp
in a V formation
with me at the point.
Everyone else,
fan out in the wings.
If you see anything,
let me know.
Okay?
I'll move over.
Everyone else,
following behind me.
Got it?
Let's go.
You're bringing that thing?
Yeah.
Right now, we're just
assuming Chuck's lost.
There's always a chance he's in
a much hairier situation.
Compartment syndrome.
Just to relieve the pressure.
Oh, God!
Oh...
We'd cover more ground
if we'd separate.
Are you breaking up with me?
I'm not your boyfriend.
Branson, hey.
What?
I just wanna
get out of here, so...
can we focus?
Danny!
Jesus, dude. I have a gun.
Okay, I thought you
were smarter than that.
Did you do that?
No...
...we didn't.
Amy! Branson, Nonda!
Did you find him?
-Where's Amy?
-Oh, is that your new
catchphrase?
Look the fuck up, Nonda.
Your dad didn't
do this shit, right?
No.
It ain't bear season.
They're mean fuckers
this time of year.
Where's Amy?
She has to be within earshot.
Amy!
-Amy!
- Hey!
Are you trying
to get us all killed?
Are you absolutely sure this
wasn't your family or something?
No!
It isn't bear season, faggot.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-No, it's all right.
He's just trying to get his
cherry popped.
Stop it!
Amy's fast.
She'd be at the caves already.
How would she know the way?
There's
entrances everywhere.
She could've
just stumbled into it.
Unless whatever got that bear...
So not helpful right now.
...got her, too.
So we head to the caves.
Together.
Fine by me.
Single file.
Behind me. Let's go.
Alright.
Keep moving forward and fan out.
The entrance
is right over these rocks.
But wait for me to go inside.
And you're going?
To the ridge.
If Amy missed this valley,
that's where she ended up.
Then I'll go, too.
No, man.
I don't trust you with that
thing on your face.
Then me.
They need you here.
I can see it in your waistband.
-Then I'll go.
-No.
You stay with me.
All right, then.
Tanner.
If you ain't back in 20 minutes,
we're getting out of here.
Yeah.
Turn off the safety.
Now, my brother knew
a lot about a lot of things.
But women wasn't one of them.
And bampires?
Well...
poor kid never knew
what hit him.
Amy!
Amy...
What are you trying to--
Hey!
Amy!
Amy, come on out.
We've only got 20 minutes.
Where you at?
Amy.
Amy?
Amy, come on.
Quit messing around.
I know you're out here.
Amy!
Amy,
if you're just playing--
This ain't funny!
Was that...?
-Tanner?
-Hopefully.
Fuck you, Branson, okay?
Fuck you.
I don't need to hear
that right now.
Well, fuck you. It's the truth.
What if someone's
out here with us?
We need to go back to camp.
-Now. No.
-What about--
Fuck Tanner.
Fuck Amy.
Fuck the professor and
his monster-fucking--
Fuck you, too.
- Tanner!
-Oh, shit!
She...
She--
She's not--
She's not letting you
get out of here.
Do you think he meant Amy?
-No, no, It can't be.
- Fuck!
Here, help me
get this thing in here.
Danny,
I think he's fucking dying!
Okay, okay.
- Is it working?
-I don't know.
Its not a fucking camcorder!
Fuck!
I think I got something.
SOS, Mayday.
We need help.
Tanner's really fucking hurt.
Say again, buck.
You're breaking up.
You there?
Go, go, go!
-Wait, Danny!
-Go, go!
Dad?
-Yeah?
-I'm tired.
Yeah.
He would've made it out
to the road by now.
We're gonna go out there?
Well, your brother
wouldn't have rigged up
old faithful for no reason.
Hello?
Hello, I'm here!
Hello?
My word.
That's no musk deer.
Amazing.
Truly. Ah!
Fuck! Fuck!
Branson...
please, please, stop.
I just want to
protect you, okay?
I know. I know.
Just give me the gun,
okay?
It'll help.
I promise.
We'll protect
each other, alright?
Alright.
Nonda...
I think I want to date you.
For real?
Yeah.
Me too.
-Branson!
-Ah!
And that's
how bampires multiply.
First there was one, then two.
Who knows
how many there are now.
They spread like wildfire.
Soon, there won't even
be enough forest left
to contain them all.
Daniel!
Daniel!
Hey, Dad.
-Yeah?
-What's the weirdest thing
you'd ever eat?
Hmm.
I gotta think on that one.
What do you think it'd be like?
Hmm?
Being chewed up?
You know, my buddy
ate a monkey one time.
Nuh-uh.
Yeah.
He said it tasted like a--
Now, I've seen a lot
of fucked up things in my life,
but when that deer jumped out
in front of our truck
-that night,
nothing could have prepared me
for what I saw next.
What the f--
Oh...
Wha-- N-- No.
Wha-- Fuck.
Fuck, oh...
I don't
remember how I was created.
I don't know
what you'll remember.
Nothing.
I hope.
Ah.
Sweet goodness, Daniel.
Are you in there?
Oh-- oh, dearie.
Help must be nearby.
I'll return soon, I swear it.
Professor?
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Wait for me!
Okay,
Fuck.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
-Come on!
Fuck!
Oh, thank G--
What'd it taste like?
Hmm? What?
The monkey.
Oh! He said
it tasted like a squirrel.
What a perspective.
Squirrel?
Well, it kind of makes
a bit of sense, don't it?
Run, little buck.
Danny!
Nonda?
Nonda?
Danny?
Oh, my God.
I don't know what I am.
You're a predator.
No.
Don't come near us.
Danny!
I'm so sorry.
We are tired of being hunted.
Please.
Nathan?
Stay away from me.
And ever
since that night,
it's been pretty much me
against the bampires.
They're home! You idiot.
Well, I guess that
brings us back to tonight.
There I am,
exhausted from protecting
these woods, finally
getting some rest.
Damn it.
I put up a sign.
Not again.
Let's get you out of here.
You're gonna be fine.
Believe it or not,
I've seen worse.
And that's my story.
It's not a happy one.
I'm still here, still fixing to
die in this damn forest.
And every time I stumble
on an abandoned campsite,
a body in the woods,
or another
goddamn animal attack,
there's a part of me that
knows this world
will never be as simple
as it once was.
-Oh, come
-on.
This is not
your grandma's Bambi.
In fact, this isn't
a Bambi story at all.
Sure, there's deer in it,
and other woodland creatures.
But this is a story about
something much scarier,
even scarier
than the part in the cartoon
where they kill Bambi's mom.
-This is a story
about a bampire.
Come on, you gotta keep up.
Come on.
Lorraine.
I am going to die out here.
I swear, it's just
a little bit further.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Have a little faith.
"Beware"?
They're home! You idiot.
It's just the TV.
They leave it on all night.
Yeah. It's 3 a.m...
We are so good.
Relax.
Enjoy yourself.
Can you imagine...
having one of
these in your own backyard?
No.
I bet they barely even use it.
Hmm.
You're gonna have
to put it in my mouth.
I have no hands.
Now, that
is what I like to hear.
Shut up.
No!
See, bampires suck.
I should know.
I've been dealing with them
pretty much my entire life,
but this isn't the
beginning of our story.
Let me take you back
to a happier time,
the year was 1998.
Chug-chug-chug-chug.
Chug-chug-chug-chug.
Chug-chug-chug-chug.
Chug-chug-chug-chug.
Choo-choo!
I have your papers here, graded,
if you'd like to review them.
Hurry up!
Okay, okay. Chill.
Oh, Nonda, I was very
impressed with your work...
...as always.
Let me know
if there's extra credit.
You got a 90%.
I know, so close.
Oh, Daniel, you got a moment?
I might recommend you
take this home.
-I'm good.
- There's more
to this world
than filming it.
You could
understand it, study it.
With the,
uh, scientific method?
Of course.
Which the first step
is to observe.
Filming something
is different than
scientific observation, Daniel.
Is it, though?
Soccer tryouts today at four.
So, I know that
you have all been thinking
about your final
film project since
first semester,
and I know
that I have been withholding.
This ends today.
This program has an emphasis
on the storytelling side
of scientific journalism.
That said,
I expect a 10-minute visual
documentary on the subject
of your choice.
No words,
just a new perspective.
A unique point of view.
Any questions?
Oh, my gosh.
Branson?
Hey.
How was work?
Great, uh...
Still there, just leaving.
You ready?
Yeah, yeah, I just got out.
Are you sure
you're not gonna be late?
Because I could just call Dana.
Not that late.
I'll see you soon...
...ish.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome to the stage
the incomparable Bambi!
Okay, I already told
you this is not a Bambi story.
So, while Leroy here
watches this nice,
young lady dance,
let me tell you a few
things I've learned
about bampires over the years.
Basically, a bampire
is a shapeshifter.
They can look like a deer,
well, a deer with fangs.
They can look like a human
being, just like you or me,
or they can look like something
else, something in between.
They're fast, faster than you
think, and strong as hell.
So if you're not careful,
you might lose an arm
or a leg or even your head
if the mood strikes them.
Now, you're probably wondering
why I call them bampires.
You see, as a kid,
I loved the movie Bambi,
and these things have fangs
like vampires.
So, "bampire."
Bottom line, it's a
fucking monster.
Asshole.
You're an hour late, dumbass.
I gotta give my girl a ride.
The fun kind?
Sorry, man.
See ya, Leroy.
Go fuck yourself, Branson.
Hello?
-Hey.
I think Branson's flaking.
Are you free now?
Wait.
Did you just get out of class?
No. Shut up.
Uh-huh. Professor
Fatcock keep you late?
Oh, my God. I never
should have told you that.
"I don't know. Like, 12?"
Have you seen a ruler?
Hey, maybe it was his pants
or something, okay?
It's not like I would ever...
-Gotta go. Bye.
Just because it's big
doesn't mean it works.
Hey, babe.
Uh, I got stuck
behind a ambulance, and--
and then I was held up.
At gunpoint?
No.
And you know I hate
it when you-- ugh,
smoke and drive.
Ah, geez, Nonda.
It's like you...
Ah! Shit!
Branson!
Dear Chuck,
it's been a while, hasn't it?
But I hope you're doing well.
How's that wife of yours?
Me and the boys,
we're doing fine.
You won't believe
how big Tanner's got.
And he's grown
into a fine marksman.
Just as good with that bow
as he is with a rifle.
And Nathan turned into quite
the little buck, too.
I mean, he had this run-in with
a baby bear the other day.
He wasn't even scared.
Poor thing was probably
more scared of him.
Anyway, I thought you might
find these photos interesting.
We were out hunting last week,
and we came across this cave
right in our
-own backyard.
It had the strangest
markings on the wall.
Some kind of deer with fangs.
I thought maybe you
could come out here
and take a look for yourself.
You were always into
that kind of stuff.
Sure would be great
to catch up.
Stanley.
Where you headed?
I keep seeing all these young
people out here.
It's getting worse and worse.
Any idea where
they're coming from?
You mean the ones leaving
all this shit around?
My guess is they're
from the community college
over in Jefferson.
Headed that direction
if you want a lift?
You know...
if you're into conservation,
you really need to talk
to this teacher I had.
Professor Charlie.
That guy's a bit of a nut, but
I tell you what,
he knew everything
about nature.
Really set me on the right path.
Hello.
I'm looking
for Professor Charlie?
Well, that's me.
Your name, dear?
Amy.
So, Amy,
are you a science major?
-Oh, yes.
-And I trust
you've completed all
the level 100 classes?
100 classes?
Well, the prerequisites.
Which of the sciences
are you most interested in?
The great outdoors.
Then I've got just the thing.
Now, as your professor,
it's my job to encourage...
-...and inspire my students.
Oh, Amy, could you
get the lights, please?
The lights?
Sorry.
We've been granted the
opportunity to explore
this cave system firsthand.
What is this?
Discovered on
privately-owned land,
this cave may contain
one of the oldest
known paintings
in Northwestern America.
-Now, as you can see,
they've rendered
the unmistakable image
of a rare fanged-deer species
thought only to populate
this latitude across the seas.
-The musk deer.
Woah. Bambi's got bite.
Bambi?
More like
deeracula.
So you're hunting them?
No, no.
A friend has given us permission
to fully document this image,
as well as any evidence
of the unprecedented
existence of the creature
-in the Cascades.
Now, this will be
a full weekend field trip.
Oh, I know, I know.
Every one of you is not
a budding anthropologist.
But this is the history
of your backyard,
and this wall may contain one
of your first discoveries.
Plus, there's many
extra credit points.
Are you a student?
Hey!
Why you got that?
It looks interesting.
A whole weekend
in the forest with that guy?
To prove a hypothesis.
Yeah, to prove something.
What's that supposed to mean?
You can't make me jealous.
He's married.
He's got a fat cock.
-How did you--
-Dana.
Okay, I don't think
she likes me.
Oh, my God.
See, you're embarrassed.
-Screw you, Branson.
-Oh, what?
You just admitted it.
Can I be your plus one?
You don't even go to college.
Nonda.
Come on.
I wanna go with you.
Seriously.
Please?
Whatever.
What the fuck kind
of deer is this?
Hey, can we drink on this thing?
Well, not inside this thing,
but all whom are of age,
help yourselves
once we bed down
for the evening.
I myself find it
impossible to sleep
without a bit of the tonic
under these conditions.
-Conditions?
- I trust
you all brought the
recommended equipment?
-Of course.
-Was there, like, a list?
A long one.
Did you bring a tent?
Sleeping bag?
-No.
-Then what's in your bag?
-Gear.
For cameras only?
Hey, what even needs
to be filmed, fucking...
...rocks?
Who knows?
That's the spirit, Daniel.
Who knows what discoveries
the forest can hold?
If the musk deer
did inhabit this region,
whatever drove them out?
Perhaps a disease?
Accidental decimation due to
gluttonous human ideology?
A festivus hunt?
Like a witch hunt?
No, not really. I...
Like in Salem?
Well, I-- I don't
think that's...
We just read about that.
Those were not real witches.
What if it was a race war?
Deer versus... man?
Not just any deer.
Musk deer, they're called.
But as I said,
finding them at all
on this continent would be...
...quite notable.
Quite notable indeed.
Oh.
-Stan!
My leg wasn't asleep,
I'd run over there and--
Is this Tanner?
My word,
you've grown
into a man in my absence.
Uncle Chuck.
That is what you call me.
Uh-- and this,
your newest recruit?
Nathan, is it?
I don't believe we've met.
I don't believe we have.
Hey, that's me.
Yeah, I think I was seven,
eight years old.
I can't quite remember.
I guess it doesn't matter now.
There's nobody left to care.
-Can I drink yet?
There'll be plenty
of time for libations
and war stories
around the campfire
this evening.
Until then, everyone,
grab your backpacks
and make use of the last toilet
we'll see this weekend.
What?
So good to see you.
Hey.
Hey.
-So, are you--
Geez. Are you liking
it out here so far?
Yeah--
You ain't got another bathroom?
I'm gonna...
-Yeah.
- Yeah.
Branson...
And that was it.
That was the last time
most of them
would ever get
to use a real bathroom.
Now, I don't want to skip too
far ahead in the story,
but if you're wondering if
things are gonna go south for
Uncle Chuck and his students...
well...
let me just ask you this...
Does a bear shit in the woods?
-Squatch-man!
Put that shit down.
Don't be teaching my
boy your disrespect.
I...
Geez.
Hey, Professor, check this out.
- Hmm.
My, my. Big canines.
Very big.
Obviously a bear skull.
But... where's the rest of it?
That's a nice haul
you got there, bud.
Can someone help me...
with the tents?
-What are those?
-Hmm?
Oh, these are trail cameras.
Of course you'd be interested.
The, uh, science department
wasn't making
use of them, so I
thought they could
be our second eyes.
How do they work?
Oh, well, the photo's taken when
the infrared beam's broken.
So if anything crosses our path,
we'll have a photo record.
You're, uh--
you're setting them up tonight?
We have mere days, Daniel.
Oh, I know,
it may seem like an eternity.
But oftentimes great discoveries
take a surmounting effort.
Well, you want some help?
Do you know the look
of a game trail?
The look of the what?
Well, then we'll travel together
and share the load between us.
Get your empty bag there,
will you?
Can you help?
I'm sorry, I've never seen
a tent like that before.
I'm useless.
So where are you sleeping?
It's all in there.
You camp a lot then?
Every night, if I can.
So why not just live out here?
We all do, don't we?
The load'll get lighter
as we go along.
Taking off?
Oh, we'll be back by dark.
Well, make sure you are.
Confirmed bear activity
in the area.
You've mentioned, Stanley.
We'll be exceedingly careful.
-Okay.
No, don't take my-- Okay.
Where the fuck did you go?
Oh...
Sweet.
It cold?
Too cold for you.
You want these?
-'Cause I could--
Amy?
Amy!
Fuck this shit.
All right.
We're off to bed.
Sweet dreams,
my most dearest friend.
Careful.
He's a sap when he drinks.
Well...
I was once like you.
Good student.
A researcher to my core.
A good husband.
Well...
...so I thought.
It's a hard metric.
The love of a woman.
Far too many
variables to account for.
I gotta whiz.
Carefully now.
Amy?
Are you okay?
Have you seen Amy?
No.
Branson!
Ah! Stupid!
Fucking stupid!
Fuck!
You're going the wrong way.
-Dude.
What's in those roots?
Hey, what the shit is this?
I was waiting for you, jackass!
Where the fuck were you two?
I was swimming.
I got lost.
I'm sorry, okay? I--
Are you bleeding?
Let's just go to bed.
Good night.
Good night.
What happened?
I got lost.
You're all, like,
bloody and weird.
Nonda...
Nonda?
What are you doing?
It's my assigned meal.
There were assigned meals?
I brought extra.
In case anybody forgot.
Plus Branson's.
Is that pan cast iron?
Your packet must have
weighed 50 pounds.
You'll thank me later.
Pancakes in the woods.
My everlasting thanks.
And the blackberries.
It was nothing.
They're the best part.
Are you sure
you don't want a pancake?
No, thank you.
Alright.
I gotta get little buck
back to school.
Travel safe.
Tanner's got old faithful.
Can reach anywhere
in these mountains.
If you need anything,
you just give a holler.
Yes, we will.
It's been an honor,
my brother-in-arms.
Oh, that reminds me, Daniel.
We'll need to check
on those cameras.
Uh, yeah, totally.
This time, you'll take
the southern cameras.
I'll head north.
Okay, so...
-If you go that way...
And then we go...
-Yeah.
And upon our return...
we'll away to the caves.
You're really good with that.
-Deadly.
Did you teach yourself?
My family...
they were...
...survivalists.
What happened to them?
-They were all murdered.
Oh...
Time for lunch.
Well, I suppose one
or two is to be expected.
Oh, shit.
I think this is broken.
Yeah.
Yeah, this one too, maybe.
Fuck, serious?
I don't know.
You check.
Yeah, it's hard to tell.
Let's just take it back to camp.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Thank you, Leroy.
What the fuck?
Uh...
Why did you
even bring that thing?
Protection.
Have you ever been camping?
Just don't let anyone see.
Branson.
Huh.
Now, if the wind...
...normally gusts from the
northwest to the southeast.
But the sun always
sets in the west.
Then this must be north.
And I must be very, very lost.
It seems like...
I know.
Maybe Chuck will do better.
Who's in charge of lunch?
You. And you're
making instant noodles.
Just boil the water.
Is Charlie back yet?
Don't see him.
Helpful.
Hey, my job is noodles...
not finding your boyfriend.
He is not my boyfriend, okay?
You're not even my boyfriend, so
just shut up about boyfriends.
I, uh--
I guess I'll go
find Uncle Chuck.
Yeah, why don't I help?
I don't understand!
These new game trails?
How, in the space
of one evening?
Every sodding deer,
west of the--
He's a slutty,
shorts eating, jerkface.
Have you told him the,
uh, depth of your feelings?
Yeah, but I'm not exactly
awesome at it.
Besides, we're not even dating.
Do you want to be?
As if!
He's so-- Ugh!
'Cause it'd be okay if you did.
Thanks, Dad.
But for your information,
this isn't some type of
sad, boy-meets-girl,
I-can-change-him...
No, Nonda, Nonda. I just mean,
even if he's a jerk...
...it's okay
if you want to date him.
-But--
-Not that you do,
you know, but... if you did.
I thought you were good at this.
I am good at this.
And we would've
come across him by now
if he hadn't veered off.
Could be making loops.
Fine.
Then let's just wait here.
So...
...you and Nonda?
Yup.
Do you date much?
No.
Waiting till marriage?
The right person,
I guess, but...
...that seems less
and less likely.
Nonda's that type.
The waiting till?
The...
...right person...
...type.
Then you're a lucky guy.
Look, I'ma head back.
You coming?
I'm gonna take another loop back
in the other direction and see
if I can cut him off.
You didn't find him.
Tanner's still looking.
-Hey, I'm sorry about--
-I need a bath.
Where's Amy?
-Why do you need--
-I said, I need a bath.
Okay.
-Geez.
Hey, Branson, I'll come too.
How's the water?
It's fucking cold!
How does it see
from so far away?
It's so small.
Well, the lens.
It magnifies the subject so I
don't have to disturb anything.
I love it.
Yeah, me too.
I'm coming out.
Don't look.
Amy?
Danny?
You fucks!
What these fucking
kids didn't understand
is that this wasn't a game.
Not like in the movies.
The woods didn't care about
their relationship problems.
These woods were hungry.
They were gonna eat them alive.
Literally.
Help!
Help me!
Oh, you've done it
this time, Chuck.
You...
Help!
Crawl, you maggot.
"Where's Branson" is becoming
my new catchphrase.
Do you think he's lost again?
Help me find him.
He said he didn't
want us to look.
Danny?
Take your compass.
He's too east.
Oh, my god...
Is she why you're here?
Actually, I'm seeking
a new perspective.
I figured I wouldn't get it
being in the same places
with the same people
day after day.
Everything's different out here.
Every day it's colder.
The sun sets earlier.
Things are changing.
Constantly.
Might seem like it all happens
at once, but...
...not to those
who are watching.
Branson!
Branson, I fucking see you.
It's not what it looks like.
-What does it even look like?
-Do you have... pants?
On?
Um.
Never mind.
Branson!
Oh, come on.
Admit it.
You wanna hunt
the great white snake.
Oh, my God. Stop.
-No.
Ah!
You're crazy!
Help me!
-He corrals.
- Ah, geez, Branson.
-He strikes.
Branson, put me down.
Did you find him?
Hey, did you find him?
Chuck, Nonda.
Nonda, Chuck.
No, I did not find him.
These hills are crisscrossed
with all sorts
of fresh new trails.
Chances are he followed
one off too far
and couldn't find his way back.
This is the only one I found
that wasn't like the others.
So what are we gonna do?
He only took one bottle of
water, no food, no shelter.
You didn't pack him a lunch?
We gotta go out and look.
We didn't make it
to the cave yesterday.
I mean, maybe
he tried this morning.
Okay...
Here's what we're gonna do.
Everyone grab
a yellow poncho, okay?
They're reflective,
high visibility.
I don't need any other
city folk getting lost.
Let's go.
You read me?
You read me?
Over.
Go ahead, buck.
How's day two?
Chuck's gone
and got himself lost.
Well, you know the drill.
He wouldn't have been
able to miss the road.
Little buck and I'll drive it
just in case he got
lost enough to think
it's his best chance.
Copy that.
I'll radio when we're back.
Over and out.
All right, listen up.
Here's the plan. Nobody's gonna
be far and never out of earshot.
Okay? We're leaving camp
in a V formation
with me at the point.
Everyone else,
fan out in the wings.
If you see anything,
let me know.
Okay?
I'll move over.
Everyone else,
following behind me.
Got it?
Let's go.
You're bringing that thing?
Yeah.
Right now, we're just
assuming Chuck's lost.
There's always a chance he's in
a much hairier situation.
Compartment syndrome.
Just to relieve the pressure.
Oh, God!
Oh...
We'd cover more ground
if we'd separate.
Are you breaking up with me?
I'm not your boyfriend.
Branson, hey.
What?
I just wanna
get out of here, so...
can we focus?
Danny!
Jesus, dude. I have a gun.
Okay, I thought you
were smarter than that.
Did you do that?
No...
...we didn't.
Amy! Branson, Nonda!
Did you find him?
-Where's Amy?
-Oh, is that your new
catchphrase?
Look the fuck up, Nonda.
Your dad didn't
do this shit, right?
No.
It ain't bear season.
They're mean fuckers
this time of year.
Where's Amy?
She has to be within earshot.
Amy!
-Amy!
- Hey!
Are you trying
to get us all killed?
Are you absolutely sure this
wasn't your family or something?
No!
It isn't bear season, faggot.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-No, it's all right.
He's just trying to get his
cherry popped.
Stop it!
Amy's fast.
She'd be at the caves already.
How would she know the way?
There's
entrances everywhere.
She could've
just stumbled into it.
Unless whatever got that bear...
So not helpful right now.
...got her, too.
So we head to the caves.
Together.
Fine by me.
Single file.
Behind me. Let's go.
Alright.
Keep moving forward and fan out.
The entrance
is right over these rocks.
But wait for me to go inside.
And you're going?
To the ridge.
If Amy missed this valley,
that's where she ended up.
Then I'll go, too.
No, man.
I don't trust you with that
thing on your face.
Then me.
They need you here.
I can see it in your waistband.
-Then I'll go.
-No.
You stay with me.
All right, then.
Tanner.
If you ain't back in 20 minutes,
we're getting out of here.
Yeah.
Turn off the safety.
Now, my brother knew
a lot about a lot of things.
But women wasn't one of them.
And bampires?
Well...
poor kid never knew
what hit him.
Amy!
Amy...
What are you trying to--
Hey!
Amy!
Amy, come on out.
We've only got 20 minutes.
Where you at?
Amy.
Amy?
Amy, come on.
Quit messing around.
I know you're out here.
Amy!
Amy,
if you're just playing--
This ain't funny!
Was that...?
-Tanner?
-Hopefully.
Fuck you, Branson, okay?
Fuck you.
I don't need to hear
that right now.
Well, fuck you. It's the truth.
What if someone's
out here with us?
We need to go back to camp.
-Now. No.
-What about--
Fuck Tanner.
Fuck Amy.
Fuck the professor and
his monster-fucking--
Fuck you, too.
- Tanner!
-Oh, shit!
She...
She--
She's not--
She's not letting you
get out of here.
Do you think he meant Amy?
-No, no, It can't be.
- Fuck!
Here, help me
get this thing in here.
Danny,
I think he's fucking dying!
Okay, okay.
- Is it working?
-I don't know.
Its not a fucking camcorder!
Fuck!
I think I got something.
SOS, Mayday.
We need help.
Tanner's really fucking hurt.
Say again, buck.
You're breaking up.
You there?
Go, go, go!
-Wait, Danny!
-Go, go!
Dad?
-Yeah?
-I'm tired.
Yeah.
He would've made it out
to the road by now.
We're gonna go out there?
Well, your brother
wouldn't have rigged up
old faithful for no reason.
Hello?
Hello, I'm here!
Hello?
My word.
That's no musk deer.
Amazing.
Truly. Ah!
Fuck! Fuck!
Branson...
please, please, stop.
I just want to
protect you, okay?
I know. I know.
Just give me the gun,
okay?
It'll help.
I promise.
We'll protect
each other, alright?
Alright.
Nonda...
I think I want to date you.
For real?
Yeah.
Me too.
-Branson!
-Ah!
And that's
how bampires multiply.
First there was one, then two.
Who knows
how many there are now.
They spread like wildfire.
Soon, there won't even
be enough forest left
to contain them all.
Daniel!
Daniel!
Hey, Dad.
-Yeah?
-What's the weirdest thing
you'd ever eat?
Hmm.
I gotta think on that one.
What do you think it'd be like?
Hmm?
Being chewed up?
You know, my buddy
ate a monkey one time.
Nuh-uh.
Yeah.
He said it tasted like a--
Now, I've seen a lot
of fucked up things in my life,
but when that deer jumped out
in front of our truck
-that night,
nothing could have prepared me
for what I saw next.
What the f--
Oh...
Wha-- N-- No.
Wha-- Fuck.
Fuck, oh...
I don't
remember how I was created.
I don't know
what you'll remember.
Nothing.
I hope.
Ah.
Sweet goodness, Daniel.
Are you in there?
Oh-- oh, dearie.
Help must be nearby.
I'll return soon, I swear it.
Professor?
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Wait for me!
Okay,
Fuck.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
-Come on!
Fuck!
Oh, thank G--
What'd it taste like?
Hmm? What?
The monkey.
Oh! He said
it tasted like a squirrel.
What a perspective.
Squirrel?
Well, it kind of makes
a bit of sense, don't it?
Run, little buck.
Danny!
Nonda?
Nonda?
Danny?
Oh, my God.
I don't know what I am.
You're a predator.
No.
Don't come near us.
Danny!
I'm so sorry.
We are tired of being hunted.
Please.
Nathan?
Stay away from me.
And ever
since that night,
it's been pretty much me
against the bampires.
They're home! You idiot.
Well, I guess that
brings us back to tonight.
There I am,
exhausted from protecting
these woods, finally
getting some rest.
Damn it.
I put up a sign.
Not again.
Let's get you out of here.
You're gonna be fine.
Believe it or not,
I've seen worse.
And that's my story.
It's not a happy one.
I'm still here, still fixing to
die in this damn forest.
And every time I stumble
on an abandoned campsite,
a body in the woods,
or another
goddamn animal attack,
there's a part of me that
knows this world
will never be as simple
as it once was.
-Oh, come
-on.