Barrio Tales (2012) Movie Script
1
(rock music playing)
I'M A BIG BAD HAWK
I LIKE TO FLY IN THE DARK
I'M A BIG BAD HAWK
I'M LEAVIN'
BUH BUH-BUH BUH
BUH-BUH
B-B-BIG BAD WOLF
JUST ROLLIN' AROUND
B-B-BIG BAD WOLF
SAYING HI TO THE GROUND
(growls)
(growls)
(growls)
DON'T STEP ON THE ROCKS
YOU'RE MAKING TOO MUCH NOISE
THERE'S MRS. SMITH'S SONS
THEY'RE WILD BOYS
YOU GONNA COME AROUND HERE
YOU BETTER KEEP IT QUIE COME AROUND HERE
YOU BETTER STAY SILEN (howling)
(hip-hop music playing)
COULD YOU WAIT FOR THA MAYBE, PLEASE?
WHY, MAN?
I'M FUCKIN' BORED.
UM, 'CAUSE WE'RE
IN MEXICO,
AND I DON'T PLAN
ON GOING TO JAIL DOWN HERE.
DUDE, YOU'RE NO GONNA GO TO JAIL.
THERE'S FUCKIN'
NOBODY AROUND.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THEN,
FINE, GIMME SOME.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I ACTUALLY LET YOU CONVINCE ME
TO DRIVE DOWN HERE.
DUDE, YOU WANTED
CHEAP DRUGS.
WELL, HERE WE ARE.
WE'RE IN THE CHEAP DRUG
CAPITAL OF THE WORLD, MAN.
JESUS!
SHOULD I?
I DON'T KNOW.
ROLL IT DOWN.
HOLA, AMIGOS!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT HERE?
JUST WAITING
FOR A FRIEND.
YOU DON'T LOOK MEXICAN.
IS YOUR FRIEND MEXICAN?
WELL, WE'VE ACTUALLY
NEVER MET HIM OFFICIALLY.
HEH. YOU'RE A LITTLE FAR
OUT OF YOUR WAY
TO SEE A FRIEND
YOU NEVER EVEN MET.
LISTEN, CREEPY FUCK,
UH, WE'RE LOOKING
FOR A DUDE NAMED PEDRO.
DO YOU KNOW
WHO HE IS?
PEDRO?
YEAH.
I KNOW HIM WELL.
I WILL TAKE YOU RIGHT TO HIM.
UM...
O-OKAY.
WE'LL SIT HERE
AND WAIT FOR PEDRO.
HE IS RUNNING LATE.
SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
PICKING UP?
SOME FUCKIN' ORANGES.
WHY DO YOU CARE?
SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE
PICKING UP PARTY FAVORS
FOR YOUR FRIENDS.
YEAH, WELL,
YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY.
(chuckles)
I'M NOT THE ONE
TRESPASSING
TO SMUGGLE DRUGS
BACK INTO YOUR COUNTRY.
UM, SO WHEN'S PEDRO
GETTING HERE?
ANYTIME SOON, OR...
ALL YOU AMERICANS...
IN SUCH A RUSH.
YOU DON'T CARE WHO YOU HAVE
TO GET THROUGH OR HUR TO GET WHAT YOU WAN WHEN YOU WANT.
EVERYTHING IS HANDED
TO YOU.
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT,
YOU CRAZY FUCKIN' MEXICAN?
I'M TALKING ABOU RICH AMERICAN PUNKS
LIKE YOU.
YOU KNOW,
THERE'S A STORY
ABOUT THREE RICH KIDS
WHO DECIDED TO DISRESPEC SOMEONE FROM BARRIO,
SOMEONE WHO HELPED THEM,
SOMEONE INNOCEN WHO NEVER, EVER DID
ANYTHING WRONG
EXCEPT WORK
FOR A LIVING.
WELL, THESE BOYS...
THEY PAID DEARLY
FOR THEIR MISTAKES.
(film projector clicking)
("Ave Maria" playing)
AVE MARIA
(singing in foreign language)
(motorcycle approaching)
HONEY, I'M HOME!
MOM! YOUR BABY'S HOME
FROM COLLEGE!
DAD!
WELL, SO MUCH
FOR THE "WELCOME HOME" PARTY.
(sighs)
NICE.
"HEY, TREV, MOM AND I DECIDED
TO GO TO CAICOS LAST MINUTE.
"THE WEATHER IS STUNNING
THIS TIME OF YEAR.
"I LEFT YOUR GRADUATION PRESEN IN THE DRAWER.
"CONGRATS, KIDDO! DAD.
P.S. BE NICE
TO THE NEW MAID."
(clatter)
HOLA. HI.
HI.
YOU, UH, MUST BE
THE NEW MAID.
YES.
MARIA.
I'M SORRY?
MARIA.
M-MARIA?
YES.
COOL. YEAH.
THE SANDWICHES I TRIED--
IT SEEMS REALLY GOOD.
REALLY GOOD. IT WAS GOOD BREAD,
DIFFERENT BREAD. I--
(car horn honks)
THANK YOU.
I'M GONNA JUST...
OKAY.
I'M GONNA GO THAT WAY,
ACTUALLY.
ALL RIGHT.
(giggles)
OKAY.
(rock music playing)
(breathing heavily)
(groaning)
(man) DUDE, JUST--DUDE, BECAUSE
YOU'RE ALWAYS IN MY WAY...
WHAT'S UP, GUYS?
AND I ALMOST POOPED
IN THE COUGAR.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
OKAY, HEY, HOW YOU DOING?
I GOTTA TAKE A POOP, SO...
DUDE.
DANNY, WHAT'S UP?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YEAH.
WHERE ARE THE, UH,
WHERE ARE THE 'RENTS, BRO?
THEY ARE CURRENTLY
IN TURKS AND CAICOS.
OOH.
YEAH, CAICOS.
CLASSY.
WHERE'S THE MONEY?
WHAT MONEY?
YOUR PARENTS ARE WORTH
$4 BILLION.
THEY LEFT YOU MONEY.
OH! YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT THAT MONEY.
YEAH, FOLLOW ME.
NICE.
(Spanish music playing)
JEREMIAH
WAS A BULLFROG
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
MARIA.
(hip-hop music playing)
TWO STANDARD CINDERELLAS
FOR MNAGE TROIS
YOU JEALOUS OF THIS FELLA,
NOT AS SUAVE AS MOI
THE SLICKES IN THE CHICKEN COOP
YOU FI INTO A DIFFERENT GROUP
OF BITCHES
WHO SHOULD LISTEN TO
WHO THE FUCK'S THE SPANISH SOAP
STAR IN THE BATHROOM?
THAT IS THE NEW MAID--
MARIA.
SHE'S PRETTY FUCKIN' HOT,
RIGHT?
WHAT HAPPENED
TO LUPITA?
I DON'T--
I DON'T KNOW.
UH, SHE PROBABLY GOT CAUGH STEALING OR DEPORTED
OR FORGO TO SHAVE HER MUSTACHE
FOR, LIKE,
THE HUNDREDTH TIME.
(laughter)
(mocking laughter)
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
YOU HAVE A HOT-ASS SERVANT?
DIBS.
DUDE, I GOT DIBS.
YOU OKAY?
I REALLY LIKED LUPITA.
HELLO.
HOORAH.
(man) DAMN.
I'M JACK.
WELCOME TO AMERICA.
(sighs)
TU HABLO INGLES?
POQUITO.
BUENO.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE
YOU GUYS TALKIN' ABOUT?
IT'S SPANISH. WHAT?
YOU SOUND
LIKE A FUCKIN' IDIOT.
(scoffs)
MARIA,
SMOKE-Y EL WEEDO?
DICK. SHE'S WORKING,
ALL RIGHT?
LO SIENTO.
I'M SORRY.
N-NO PROBLEM.
COME ON.
WHAT, SHE CAN'T SCRUB
THE FLOORS WHILE SHE'S HIGH?
(eerie music playing)
(Trevor)
THERE IT IS.
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
I DON'T WANT YOU CUTTING MY SHI WITH, UH, BAKING POWDER
BECAUSE I'M NOT TRYING TO GROW
MUFFINS OUT OF MY NOSE.
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
(quietly)
I'M AT THE OFFICE.
WOW.
HEY, FUCK-FACE...
(snaps fingers)
$100 A BALL?
YEAH. YEAH. I MEAN, UNLESS
YOU STILL HAVE SAND IN YOUR PUSS
FROM THE LAST TIME
I SMOKED YOU.
NO, I DON'T HAVE
SAND IN MY PUSS.
HAVE YOU CHECKED?
(bong bubbling)
WE'RE ALL CLEAR.
YO, ELTON,
YOU GONNA PASS THAT?
NO.
FOR A GUY WHO'S GOT SAND
IN HIS PUSS,
I'M KINDA KICKIN'
YOUR ASS.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
YOU STILL HAVE
THE CASH, FUCKER?
OKAY, WATCH THIS.
MM-HMM.
ARE YOU WATCHING?
MM-HMM.
OOH.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK
I LOST MY CONTACT ON--
DID THAT GO IN?
I SAW A COLOR DROP.
(laughing)
I'M JUST NOT SURE
IF THAT WENT IN.
WHY WOULD I WANT LAUNDRY
DETERGENT IN MY COCAINE,
BECAUSE... (scoffs)
WHAT--WHAT AM I?
AM I--AM I TRYING TO CLEAN
CLOTHES WITH MY SEPTUM?
SO YOU WANT TO STOP BEING
A POOR PERSON AND GO FOR $300?
FUCK IT.
$300 IT IS.
COOL.
ALL RIGHT, UH...
WOW.
(Maria) SORRY.
BRAVO.
WAS THAT FOR REAL?
ARE WE COUNTING THAT?
YEAH, DUDE,
DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT.
I THINK SHE KNOWS
WHO HER BOSS IS.
NO, FUCK THAT.
ARE YOU FUCKIN' SERIOUS?
YOU JUST STEP
IN FRONT OF MY SHOT?
I'M SORRY.
JUST RELAX.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
GODDAMN IT.
WELL, THAT SHO JUST COST ME $300.
I'M SORRY.
HOW ARE YOU GONNA
PAY FOR IT?
UH, FOOD STAMPS?
I DON'T THINK SO.
ACTUALLY, I DO HAVE
A GOOD IDEA, THOUGH.
UM, EL BLOW JOB-O?
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?
I THINK THA WOULD MAKE US EVEN.
I THINK THAT'S
A SWELL IDEA.
I THINK WE KNOW
YOU THINK THAT, ELTON.
YOU GUYS ARE
BEING ASSHOLES.
AND LOOK AT CHE GUEVARA OVER
THERE BEING A REVOLUTIONARY.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M OVER IT.
UM, CONSUELA, CAN YOU JUST GE THE FUCK OUT, PLEASE?
MARIA.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
JUST GO.
WHY ARE YOU FUCKING
STARING AT ME? VAMANOS!
THAT'S A WORD
IN SPANISH, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GUYS ARE FUCKIN' DICKS.
AND HE GOTTA BE HIS OWN
WORST ENEMY ALL THE SAME
MARIA, ARE YOU OKAY?
GO AWAY.
OH, NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT HERE
TO FUCK WITH YOU.
THAT'S WEIRD.
OH.
(Trevor)
YO, YO, D-MAN!
WHAT UP?
OH, SUPER CHILL, BRO.
YEAH. UH, OKAY, SO, DANNY,
I HATE TO INTERRUP THE WHOLE SWAPPING
OF ENCHILADA RECIPES,
BUT I REALLY NEED YOUR INPU ON SOMETHING,
A LITTLE... (sniffing)
YOU KNOW? A LITTLE SOMETHIN'.
LIKE WHAT?
(sniffing) A LITTLE
SOMETHIN', SOMETHIN'.
OH, OKAY. OH...
NO?
YEAH, OKAY, I'LL JUST BE
THINKING ABOUT YOU NAKED.
(Awesome New Republic's
"Deep Love" playing)
I CAN'T WAI TO GET YOU OFF TONIGH I'LL SHIFT SHAPE
AND MAKE YOU SOFT TONIGH WE CAN'T FAKE I OOH, WE CAN MAKE I DEEP LOVE
OOH OOH
DEEP LOVE
OOH OOH
I CAN'T HIDE
WHEN YOU GO WALKING BY
OH OH OH OH
MAKE MY DAY
AND TAKE ME HOME TONIGH BUT I DON'T MIND
LET'S TAKE THE TIME
FOR DEEP LOVE
OOH OOH
(loud bang)
WHERE DID YOU
GET THIS SHIT?
UH, SOME CELEBRITY DEALER
NAMED JAVI.
HE ONLY SELLS TO CELEBRITIES
AND ARTISTS AND STUFF.
WELL, JAVI'S STUFF
TASTES LIKE SHIT.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, WAIT...
WOW, YOU'VE
TASTED SHIT.
LISTEN.
I WANT EVERYBODY TO LISTEN.
(all) OH!
WHOA, HEY,
HEY, HEY.
WHOA.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
I FUCKIN'--I GOT IT.
(all laughing)
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN,
I-I WANT TO MAKE A SPEECH
REAL QUICK...
SHH!
SO IF EVERYBODY COULD
GIVE ME A COUPLE SECONDS,
THAT'D BE FANTASTIC.
TREVOR,
LET'S DO IT.
JACK, PLEASE. UM...
(all laughing)
FIRST AND FOREMOST, I-I WOULD
LOVE TO TOAST TO MY PARENTS
FOR GIVING ME
THIS FUCKING AMAZING HOUSE
TO USE FOR THE SUMMER.
CAN I GET A "FUCK YEAH"?
(all) FUCK YEAH!
(Trevor) THANK YOU.
ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THEM
FOR THE, UM,
WE COUNTED.
WHAT WAS IT, LIKE, 15--
(Elton) 15 Gs.
15 Gs FOR ALL THE, UH...
(girl) OH.
ENABLING...
WHOO!
ELTON, I WOULDN'T GE TOO EXCITED.
YOU ARE PROBABLY LITERALLY
GONNA O.D. TONIGHT.
(all laughing)
UM, CAN'T--CAN'T FORGET--
I-I GOTTA THANK
TURKS AND CAICOS
FOR BEING
SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.
(Danny) IT IS A BEAUTIFUL
COUNTRY, YES.
(voices overlapping)
(Elton)
IT REALLY IS.
YES.
(Jack chuckles)
AND LAST,
BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST,
I WANT TO THANK MY PARENTS
FOR PURCHASING ME
THIS FUCKIN'
AMAZINGLY HOT MAID
THAT I'M PRETTY SURE I CAN DO
WHATEVER I WANT WITH
FOR THE RES OF THE SUMMER, RIGHT?
A FUCKIN'
SEX SLAVE, HUH?
MARIA, MARIA.
YOU FUCKIN'
FAT...
IT'S A THYROID
PROBLEM. MARIA.
FIESTA, POR FAVOR,
CON ALL OF US.
NO, NO, NO, NO...
(speaking indistinctly)
DANCE. YOU KNOW,
LIKE A CUCARACHA OR, UH,
WHAT DO THEY--WHAT DO THEY
FUCKIN' DO IN MEXICO?
I THINK IT'S SOMETHING LIKE...
DOO DOO DOO DOO
(Elton) DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO
(all laughing)
YOU CAN DO THA IF YOU WANT.
(Danny) NO, NO, NO...
(speaking Spanish)
SPEAK AMERICAN.
FUCK MEXICAN LANGUAGE.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.
WHY ARE YOU GUYS
TALKING TO THE HELP?
SHUT UP.
SHE'S FUCKIN' HOT.
BUT WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WHAT IS SHE HIDING
UNDER ALL OF THAT?
HEY, I'M FUCKING HUNGRY.
TELL HER TO MAKE
SOME SANDWICHES.
MARIA? MARIA, OVER HERE.
DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, A SWIMMING
SUIT, A BIKINI OR SOMETHING?
BECAUSE...
UN BIKINI?
YOU COULD BORROW MINE
IF YOU NEED TO.
(girl) TELL HER TO GO
IN HER BRA.
AH!
(Jack) NUDE.
(all) YEAH!
JACK, I'M GONNA BE HONES WITH YOU REAL QUICK.
I-I THINK SHE WANTS
TO GO IN THE POOL.
I JUST DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S
READY FOR THAT...
(laughter)
SO YOU SHOULD
PROBABLY TELL HER.
WHOO-HOO!
YES.
I THINK TREVOR'S
RIGHT.
SORRY, UM, DO YOU MIND
PICKING UP SOME OF THE, UH--
(all) OH!
(Trevor) DO IT!
JUST DO IT, BABY!
(Elton) OH, HO HO!
DO IT!
(cheering)
(crunch)
(girl screams)
OH, MY GOD, SHE HIT HER HEAD!
(cell phone ringing)
Hi, you've reached
Karen McDonaugh.
Please leave a message
after the tone.
Thank you.
(cell phone beeps)
Uh, hi, mom, it's Trevor.
Uh, I was just calling to see
how you were doing.
Um, I really need
to talk to you.
I, uh...
(breathing hard)
I think I really fucked up
this time.
And, uh, so I really need you
to come home, please.
Please.
ALL RIGHT,
WE HAVE TO BURY THE BODY.
NO, NO,
YOU HAVE TO FUCKIN'
BURY THE BODY.
WHY DO I HAVE TO BURY
THE BODY?
BECAUSE YOU FUCKIN'
KILLED HER.
(whimpering) MY MOM'S GONNA BE
SO FUCKING MAD AT ME.
SHUT THE FUCK UP,
ELTON.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BURY
THE FUCKIN' BODY.
ELTON, LET'S GO.
(retching)
(knock on door)
UM, JACK HARVEY
FOR WILLIAM WATKINS.
HAVE A SEAT AND I'LL LET HIM
KNOW YOU'RE HERE.
(typing)
(woman speaking Spanish,
voice echoing)
(mouthing words)
'SUP?
(groans)
(high-pitched whine)
(whimpering)
(panting)
(William) LOOK, BARRY,
ARE YOU LISTENING?
THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE GETTING
INTO THAT DEAL AT THAT PRICE.
I'M TELLING YA,
LAND IN FUCKIN' MEXICO
IS TOO FUCKIN' CHEAP TO GO UP
FROM WHERE WE ARE.
LOOK, JUST TELL HIM
I'M NOT SPENDING...
(voice fades out)
(high-pitched whine)
WELL, YOUNG MR. HARVEY.
(woman speaking Spanish,
voice echoing)
(Trevor grunting and moaning)
(high-pitched whine)
(groaning)
FUCK!
(screaming)
(faint heartbeat)
(panting)
(high-pitched whine)
(sobbing)
READY TO GIVE THE REAL WORLD
A SHOT, HUH? LOOKING FOR A JOB?
YES, SIR,
MR. WATKINS.
YOUR BALLS
HAVE DROPPED.
YOU CAN CALL ME
WILL NOW.
OKAY, WILL.
WELL, AS YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN
WORKING... (clears throat)
(loud rumbling)
WORKING AT MY FATHER'S
FIRM FOR, UM...
(coughs)
YOU OKAY?
YOU WANT SOME WATER?
(groaning)
(faint heartbeat)
(shrieking)
(loud bang)
(coughing)
(gurgling, choking)
WHAT THE FUCK?
(high-pitched whine)
(sobbing)
(screaming)
(low-pitched voice)
MARIA.
MARIA.
MARIA.
(panting and coughing)
(woman speaking indistinctly)
OH, GOD. TREVOR?
(crying)
(Danny speaking Spanish,
voice echoing)
(typing)
WHAT THE FUCK?
THAT IS--
THAT IS SUCH FUCKIN'
BULLSHIT, MAN. NO.
NO WAY.
OKAY, BLEEDING FROM THE EARS
AND EYES TURNING WHITE?
THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
ABSOLUTELY NOT. FALSE.
THIS GUY MIGHT ACTUALLY
SMOKE MORE WEED THAN WE DO.
OKAY, OKAY, TOUGH CROWD.
DIDN'T REALIZE YOU GUYS
WERE SO DOWN.
(chuckles) ALL RIGHT, MAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
MY DAD HAS A WHOLE CUPBOARD
FULL OF PILLS
WE CAN JUST VANDALIZE
IF WE WANT TO.
LET'S JUS GET OUTTA HERE.
(speaking
indistinctly)
YOU SHOULD LISTEN
TO YOUR HOMBRE HERE.
YEAH, WELL, YOU SHOULD MIND
YOUR OWN FUCKIN' BUSINESS.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
(whispering)
LET'S JUST GET OUTTA HERE.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
HEY, YOU GUYS HUNGRY?
UM, NO, THANK YOU.
I HAD SOME TACOS
ON THE WAY DOWN ALREADY, SO...
OH, YEAH?
WHERE FROM?
SOME FUCKIN' TRUCK.
WHY DO YOU CARE?
I DON'T KNOW.
I USED TO HAVE A FRIEND
IN THE TACO BUSINESS.
HE MADE THE BEST TACOS
NORTH OF BARRIO.
YEAH, WELL, WHO DOESN'T MAKE
TACOS IN THIS FUCKIN' TOWN?
(laughs)
THAT IS VERY FUNNY.
YOU DON'T MIND
IF I EAT, DO YOU?
GO AHEAD.
SURE.
MMM. FRESH TACOS.
SO GOOD.
YOU KNOW,
MY FRIEND TIO
WHO USED
TO MAKE THE TACOS,
HE HAD THE BEST SEASONING.
JUST MUY PERFECTO.
THEY SAY IT WAS THE, UH,
SECRET INGREDIENT.
(mariachi music playing)
(film projector clicking)
TIO'S TACOS IS NOW OPEN
FOR LUNCH.
(boy) GUYS.
GUYS. GUYS, WAIT UP
FOR ME, MAN.
I'M TRYING TO READ YOU
THIS STORY.
WE CAN HEAR YOU
FROM HERE, OGGY.
AND I DON'T NEED YOU
SPITTIN' ON ME, MAN.
OKAY. OKAY, LISTEN, GUYS,
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
"FOUR TEENAGERS HAVE GONE
MISSING IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS.
"EVIDENCE SUGGESTS THA THE COUNTY SHERRIFF'S DEPARTMEN "SUGGESTS THAT THESE CASES
ARE ALL PART OF
AND CONNECTED TO
A SERIAL KIDNAPPING."
DUDE, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS READING
DEPRESSING SHIT LIKE THIS?
I MEAN, CAN'T YOU
JUST ENJOY THE SUMMER
LIKE A NORMAL
HUMAN BEING?
OH, OKAY.
YOU WANT ME TO LIVE
LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING?
OKAY, SO BASICALLY
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS FOR ME
TO LIVE MY LIFE,
YOU KNOW, GO TO THE BEACH,
HAVE A GOOD TIME,
PUT ON SOME SUNSCREEN,
BUILD A SLIP 'N SLIDE,
YOU KNOW,
HAVE THE BEST SUMMER OF MY LIFE
AND PRETEND LIKE NOTHING--
NOTHING'S GOING ON.
OH, AND IF I GET KIDNAPPED,
YEAH, THAT'S JUST, LIKE,
SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN,
'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY
THE WORLD WORKS, RIGHT?
IF YOU GOT KIDNAPPED,
THE NAPPER WOULD BE SO BORED
AND TIRED AND ANNOYED WITH YOU
THAT HE'D HAVE YOU BACK
BEFORE DINNER.
HEY, UNCLE TIO,
WHAT'S HAPPENING, MAN?
(Tio) HEY, TYRONE.
HOW ARE YOU, BRO?
I'M GOOD.
HOW YOU DOING?
GOOD, MAN.
YOU READY
FOR ROUND TWO?
OH, YOUR TACOS
ARE KILLER, BRO.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
TRES ASADA.
THREE ASADA.
COMING RIGHT UP.
NICE.
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE
THESE ONES.
OH, YEAH?
EXTRA SPECIAL
JUST FOR YOU.
THAT SO?
ON THE HOUSE,
BROTHER.
OH.
ON THE HOUSE?
ON THE HOUSE.
RALE, MAN.
THANKS, BROTHER.
NOW GO FIX
THOSE POTHOLES FOR ME.
ALWAYS, MAN.
TAKE CARE, HUH?
ME AND MY HOMEYS
WERE IN THE MGM GRAND,
AND TONY HAWK CAME BY--
YO, BABY, YOU LIKE TACOS?
(woman) FUCK YOU.
(laughs)
(chuckles)
YOU LIKE TACOS.
TRUE.
(Tio)
WHAT'S UP, GUYS?
HEY, TIO.
WHAT'S UP, MAN?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
OGGY'S SCARED
HE'S GONNA GET KIDNAPPED.
LIKE ANYONE
EVEN WANTS HIM.
YOU KIDS
ARE FUNNY.
SO WHAT CAN I
DO FOR YOU?
UM, I'LL TAKE
A NUMBER ONE,
NO BEANS, NO RICE,
JUST THE GUACAMOLE.
OKAY.
AND, CHAD, I ALREADY
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
TWO TACOS, CARNE ASADA,
EXTRA MEAT.
YOU KNOW IT.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, OGGY?
OH, I'M NOT--
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
WHAT? YOU TELLING ME
YOU DON'T WANT MY TACOS?
WELL, I-I'M SORRY, TIO.
IT'S JUST--
I'M ON A MISSION.
PLANNING ON STOPPING
THE KIDNAPPINGS?
WELL--WELL,
AT LEAST TRY.
I MEAN--I MEAN, THE COPS
AREN'T DOING ANYTHING.
WELL, LET ME KNOW
IF YOU NEED MY HELP.
OKAY? LET ME GE THOSE TACOS FOR YOU.
DON'T FORGE THE GUACAMOLE.
I WILL NOT FORGE THE GUACAMOLE.
IT'S ALREADY
READY TO GO.
NICE DAY TODAY,
HUH?
YEAH.
I ALWAYS SAY
IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR TACOS.
DEFINITELY.
CHEERS.
ALL RIGHT.
BYE, TIO.
(Chad) ARE YOU GOING
TO STOP EATING
EVERY TIME SOMETHING BAD
LIKE THIS HAPPENS.
LIKE THE TIME YOU HEARD ABOU CHELSEA'S OLDER BROTHER ELTON...
OH.
DYING
IN THE BATHROOM?
YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA GO
BLIND FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS.
HEY.
HEY, THAT'S
A LEGITIMATE FEAR, OKAY?
YOU DON'T PLAY AROUND WITH THAT.
YOU DON'T TOUCH THAT, OKAY?
HE HAD 20/20 VISION
BEFORE THAT,
AND THEN SUDDENLY
HE COULDN'T SEE, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, OGGY.
FOR SURE.
(Tio) HEY, GUYS.
HEY.
HOW DO YOU LIKE
MY TACOS TODAY?
A LITTLE SPICIER.
NEW RECIPE?
I ADDED A LITTLE
SOMETHING EXTRA.
OKAY.
I'LL TELL YOU
MY SECRE IF YOU HELP ME PREPARE
FOR TOMORROW'S LUNCH.
WHY? WHERE'S HECTOR?
HECTOR...
OH, HECTOR.
HE WENT BACK TO BARRIO.
SO ANY TAKERS?
I GOT SOCCER
TONIGHT, MAN.
MY MOM'S MAKING ME DINNER
BEFORE SHE LEAVES TOWN TOMORROW.
WELL, TIO, I-I CAN HELP YOU.
I MEAN, I'M FREE, SO...
GREAT.
ON ONE CONDITION.
YEAH.
WHAT?
YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE MY SECRET,
INCLUDING THESE TWO.
COME ON.
COME ON, TIO.
ALL RIGHT,
YOU GOT A DEAL.
ALL RIGHT?
DEAL. THANK YOU.
SEE YOU SOON, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT,
BYE, TIO.
TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF.
BYE, TIO.
BYE.
HEY, DUDE,
HAVE YOU SEEN OGGY?
I DON'T KNOW.
HE'S YOUR FRIEND.
I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HIM
SINCE LAST NIGHT.
HE PROBABLY GOT HIS PENIS STUCK
IN AN ANTHILL AGAIN.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
YEAH, SO CAN WE GE SOMETHING TO EAT?
I'VE GOT THE MUNCHIES.
THANK YOU.
WHO'S THE FREAK SHOW?
THAT'S MY BROTHER LES.
HE'S STAYING WITH ME
WHILE MY MOM'S AWAY.
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH HIM?
I HAVE NO IDEA.
(metal clanking)
(girl) TIO!
(knocking on door)
TIO! TIO!
HEY, KIDS,
WHAT'S UP?
S-SORRY, TIO. UM, WE JUS THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE HAD
SOME MORE TACOS FOR US.
UH, YOU OKAY?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I'M FINE.
I'M FINE.
JUST, UH, WORKIN' HARD,
YOU KNOW?
AREN'T YOU CLOSED?
YEAH, YEAH, I'M CLOSED, BUT I'M
JUST FINISHING UP SOME THINGS.
YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING
READY TO GO. I'M TIRED.
I'M REAL TIRED. OKAY?
SEE YOU GUYS.
UH...
WHAT ABOUT THE TACOS?
YEAH, I'LL GET 'EM
FOR YOU.
OH, HEY, TIO,
UH, HAVE YOU SEEN OGGY?
UH, YEAH,
LAST TIME I SAW HIM,
HE WAS WITH, UH, YOU GUYS
HAVING LUNCH.
DIDN'T HE HELP YOU WITH
THE NEW RECIPE LAST NIGHT?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I-I
HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE THEN.
OH, OKAY.
MM-HMM.
ALL RIGHT.
SEE YOU LATER.
YOU GUYS TAKE CARE.
(girl whispering)
THAT WAS WEIRD.
I SAW BLOOD
ON HIS SHOES.
CHAD, HE'S A CHEF.
BUT IT LOOKED NEW.
WHERE'S
YOUR SKATEBOARD?
OH, SHIT.
BE RIGHT BACK.
(crunching, squishing sounds)
(sounds stop)
(metal clanking)
(Tio sighs)
TIO?
YEAH.
HELLO, CHAD.
WELL, HEY, TIO.
MY SKATEBOARD?
(eerie music playing)
THANKS.
TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF.
OKAY, DUDE, THERE'S JUST NO WAY
YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THIS.
I SWEAR TO GOOD, MIMS.
CHAD, ARE YOU SURE?
YES, I-I SAW HIS GLASSES WITH
A CRACK RIGHT DOWN THE FRAME.
OKAY, CHAD, BUT IT'S TIO.
I MEAN, HOW CAN WE
ACCUSE UNCLE TIO
OF BEING THE KIDNAPPER?
KIDNAPPER?
HE'S A FUCKING MURDERER.
I-I THINK I KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED TO HECTOR.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
HE MOVED BACK TO BARRIO.
NO, MIMS, HE GOT HACKED UP
INTO LITTLE PIECES BY UNCLE TIO.
(punk rock music playing)
(Mimi) LES! LES! LES!
(music stops)
LES!
WHAT THE FUCK, YO?!
DON'T TURN THAT SHIT OFF!
LES, IT'S IMPORTANT.
OKAY, I TOLD YOU
NOT TO BOTHER ME
WHEN I'M WORKING
ON MY WHIP, MEEM.
OKAY, THAT'S--
THAT'S SACRED TIME.
OKAY, LES, HAVE YOU SEEN
OGGY BY ANY CHANCE?
THE LITTLE FREAK
WITH THE GLASSES?
YES.
THAT WEARS THE HIGH-UP BACKPACK
AND THE MAD SCIENTIST HAIRCUT?
YES.
THE TYPE OF DUDE
WHO'S GONNA SHOOT UP A SCHOOL
IN THREE TO FIVE YEARS?
YES.
NO, I DON'T THINK
I'VE SEEN HIM.
(scoffs)
LES, ARE YOU SURE?
I'M AS SURE AS THIS
NORTH VALLEY HIGH
C.T.F. CHAMPIONSHIP RING,
SO, YEAH,
I'M PRETTY FUCKIN' SURE.
OH, DID YOU GRAB ME
SOME OF THOSE TACOS?
(Chad) NO.
TIO WAS TOO BUSY
HACKING UP OGGY.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
LITTLE SHIT TALKING ABOUT?
CHAD SWEARS HE SAW OGGY'S
GLASSES BLOODY AND BROKEN
IN TIO'S TRUCK.
YEAH, RIGHT, OKAY,
UNCLE TIO--
UNCLE TIO WOULDN'T HURT A FLY.
HE'S LIKE THE TOWN SAINT, OKAY?
HE MIGHT AS WELL BE
MY REAL UNCLE.
NO, LES, THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH TIO,
AND IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO
WITH ALL THOSE KIDS
THAT ARE DISAPPEARING.
NO, NO,
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH UNCLE TIO, OKAY?
THE ONLY THING THAT'S WRONG
WITH UNCLE TIO--
HE'S A KIND-HEARTED MEXICAN MAN
WHO'S BEEN SERVING
THIS COMMUNITY
FOR MANY YEARS, OKAY?
JAVI!
HEY.
WHAT'S UP,
BROTHER?
WHAT--LISTEN,
NOT NOW, LES. PLEASE.
ENOUGH OF THE SANDBOX
CONSPIRACY THEORIES, OKAY?
SCOOT YOUR BOOT.
LES!
SCOOT YOUR BOOT!
(scoffs)
YOUR SISTER, DUDE.
YOU GOT WHAT I NEED?
YOU MEAN A HIT?
I FUCKIN' NEED
MORE THAN A HIT.
LET'S DO IT.
(speaking indistinctly)
DON'T TOUCH IT.
DON'T FUCKIN' TOUCH IT.
CHILLY.
(mariachi music playing)
(cat mewling)
(loud thud, cat shrieks)
GO AWAY, YOU STUPID CAT.
(hip-hop music playing faintly)
(coughing)
ARE YOU SURE THIS SHI ISN'T LACED, MAN?
IT'S MAKING ME FEEL
KINDA FUNKY.
UH, NO, HOMEY.
I GOT IT FROM SOME CRACKHEAD
FROM EL BARRIO.
I TOLD SOME KIDS THAT I GOT I FROM SOME CELEB DEALER,
SO I CHARGED THEM, LIKE,
TWICE THE PRICE.
(laughing)
YOU'RE A BADASS
MOTHERFUCKER, JAVI.
WHO THE FUCK IS THA BACK THERE, DUDE?
DUDE, RELAX.
THAT'S
THAT TACO GUY.
OH, IT'S UNCLE TIO.
WHAT A WEIRD DUDE.
YOU BIT YOUR FUCKIN' TONGUE WHEN
YOU TALK ABOUT UNCLE TIO, OKAY?
HE'S A GOOD MAN.
JEEZ, MAN,
TAKE IT EASY.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M FUCKIN' SICK OF PEOPLE
PREJUDGING UNCLE TIO BEFORE
THEY GIVE HIM A SHOT, OKAY?
HE'S GOT A BIG HEART AND MAKES
A MEAN MOTHERFUCKIN' TACO.
LES, I DIDN' MEAN IT LIKE THAT.
YEAH, WELL,
IT HURT MY FEELINGS.
I WONDER
WHAT HE'S DOING OU SO FUCKIN' LATE
AT NIGHT, MAN.
MAYBE HE'S OPEN
LATE NIGHTS.
WHOA, REALLY?
YOU THINK SO?
OH, BUT IT'S LIKE
FUCKIN' 3:45 IN THE MORNING.
THAT--THAT'S TOO LATE.
THAT--THAT'S WEIRD.
SO GO FIND OUT.
AND BRING US BACK
SOME TACOS.
YOU THINK SO? YOU THINK
HE WOULD GIVE US SOME?
YEAH. YEAH.
TACOS WOULD BE GOOD.
SO I'M GONNA DO IT.
YEAH.
(voice squeaking)
HERE, YOU TAKE THAT.
(coughs) JUST DON'T--DON' SMOKE THE REST OF THAT, OKAY?
NO, NO.
DON'T FUCKIN'
SMOKE MY SHIT.
HEY, BRING BACK
SOME H-O-T SAUCE.
PUTO.
TIO!
TIO?
(knocking on door)
TIO, DUDE, YOU--
YOU OKAY?
FUCK.
I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU, TIO!
FUCK!
(cat mews)
(vomits)
FUCK, MAN.
WHAT THE...
(whispering)
TIO'S TACOS ARE PEOPLE.
(normal voice)
TIO'S TACOS ARE PEOPLE.
TIO'S TACOS ARE FUCKING PEOPLE!
(Les yelps)
(Javi) LES?
LES?
(sputtering)
(chuckles) WHO YOU TRYIN'
TO GET CRAZY WITH, ESE?
DON'T YOU KNOW
I'M LOCO?
(laughing)
(loud crash)
(Javi) LES?
(hip-hop music playing faintly)
(whimpering
and muttering)
(grunts)
(loud crack)
(clock ticking, echoing)
(car approaching)
(horn honking, loud bang)
(panting)
(screams)
LES! LES, IT'S HIM.
LES, OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE!
(crying)
"MIMI, I HOPE YOU'VE ENJOYED
YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
"FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS.
"YOUR BROTHER HELPED ME
MAKE THIS FOR YOU.
UNCLE TIO."
SHIT, SHIT, WHAT DO I DO?
WHERE'S MY BAT?
WHERE'S MY BAT? WHERE'S--
AAH!
(speaking indistinctly)
YOU CAN'T BEAT ME.
YOU'RE JUST A STUPID-ASS
LITTLE GIRL.
I'VE BEEN DOING THIS
MY WHOLE CULINARY LIFE.
(laughs)
AND HUMAN FLESH...
(sniffs)
OH, IT JUST TASTES BETTER.
(whimpers)
(laughing)
HUNTING PEOPLE
IS SO MUCH MORE INTIMATE
THAN HUNTING ANIMALS,
BECAUSE WE'RE SO MUCH EASIER
TO CATCH!
(laughing maniacally)
(coughing)
THIS MOLE SAUCE?
IT'S YOUR BROTHER.
YOU'RE FUCKIN' CRAZY.
FUCK YOU,
YOU LITTLE BITCH!
YOU LOVE MY TACOS.
I'M UNCLE TIO, REMEMBER?
(giggles)
THAT'S RIGHT.
(yelping and groaning)
(coughing)
DUDE, COME ON, MAN.
(man laughing)
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
MAN UP, KYLE.
I THREW UP ON MY SHOES.
OH, MY GOD.
LOOKS LIKE THOSE TACOS AREN' SITTING THAT WELL, HUH?
YOU REALLY ARE
A TWISTED OLD FUCK, MAN.
DUDE, FUCK THIS. I'M OVER IT.
CAN WE LEAVE, PLEASE?
STOP BEING A PUSSY, DUDE.
YOU ATE SOME FUCKIN' BAD TACOS.
BOOHOO. LISTEN, I KNOW
YOU'RE FUCKING WITH US, MAN.
AND I'M STARTING TO THINK
PEDRO'S NOT GONNA SHOW UP.
SO WHAT THE FUCK
IS GOING ON?
RELAX. RELAX.
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF NOWHERE.
IT TAKES TIME
TO GET OUT HERE.
NOT ALL OF US
HAVE CARS LIKE YOU.
SOMETIMES OUR SHI BREAKS DOWN.
(coyotes howling)
DON'T BE SO JUMPY.
THERE ARE A LOT OF WILD ANIMALS
AROUND HERE.
THIS IS JUST A COYOTE.
NOT LIKE IT'S A MONSTER
OR ANYTHING.
BUT WHO'S TO SAY
WHAT A MONSTER IS?
MAYBE A MONSTER TO ME
IS NOT A MONSTER TO YOU.
AND MAYBE A MONSTER TO YOU
IS NOT A MONSTER TO ME.
OR MAYBE A MONSTER TO ME
IS SOMEBODY
WHO KILLS HIS OWN KIND.
I'M TALKING ABOUT...
HUMAN-ON-HUMAN KILLING.
HMM.
WHAT IF I WERE
TO KILL ONE OF YOU,
NO EXPLANATION NECESSARY,
JUST COLD-BLOODED MURDER?
HMM. THEY SAY A MONSTER
STILL LURKS IN THIS VERY AREA
IN SEARCH FOR VENGEANCE.
HE WAS ONCE THE MOST FEARED
MEXICAN KILLER THERE WAS.
HE KILLED EVERYTHING
THAT STEPPED IN HIS PATH
TILL ONE DAY
SOME MEXICANS
KILLED HIS FAMILY
AND THOUGHT THEY'D SLAIN
THE MONSTER HIMSELF.
BUT EVERY NIGH I CAN STILL HEAR
THE GROANS
OF HIS SUFFERING
AND THE THIRS FOR HIS REVENGE.
(rock music playing)
(film projector clicking)
GETTING TOO CLOSE,
BETTER PULL ON BACK
SUCKER PUNCHES,
NEED A ONE-TWO
WHEN YOU'RE TALKIN'
ON THE TELEPHONE
YOU DON' M-M-M-M-M-M-MUMBLE
YOU GOT BUSINESS,
NEED TO FOLLOW THROUGH
YEAH
(singing indistinctly)
(speaking Spanish)
BUENOS DIAS, AMIGOS.
Y'ALL LOOKIN' FOR WORK?
S.
YEAH? WELL,
WELCOME TO AMERICA.
TU HABLO INGLES?
UH...
PO-POQUITO.
AH, YOU MEAN,
"YES, A LITTLE."
WE'RE IN AMERICA NOW,
HOMBRE.
WHERE Y'ALL
COMING FROM?
UM, MEXICO.
MEXICO. I KNOW MEXICO.
WHAT PART?
BARRIO?
BARRIO. BEAU,
THEY'RE FROM BARRIO.
ALL RIGHT.
Y'ALL HUNGRY, THIRSTY?
S.
S? WELL, IF Y'ALL
ARE LOOKIN' FOR WORK,
WE GOT PLENTY OF IT.
WHY DON'T Y'ALL HOP UP?
(man) COME ON, GUYS,
DON'T BE SCARED.
(man speaking
Spanish)
DON'T BE SCARED NOW.
MY NAME'S BEAU. THIS IS CAL.
HOWDY.
WELCOME TO AMERICA.
COME ON UP.
COME ON UP HERE.
COME ON.
WE GOT PLENTY
OF ROOM.
(Beau) ALL RIGHT.
THERE WE GO.
YOU GUYS MUST BE TIRED.
YOU ALL RIGHT THERE?
YOU GUYS MAKE YOURSELVES
AT HOME BACK HERE.
I WISH WE HAD BETTER SEATS
FOR Y'ALL.
(whistles)
HEY, Y'ALL THIRSTY?
AGUA.
THERE YOU GO, AMIGOS.
SHARE IT AROUND.
JUAN...
(metal clanking)
(Beau) GOOD MORNING,
MEXICANS!
WELL, I HOPE Y'ALL GO SOME GOOD SLEEP,
'CAUSE Y'ALL ARE ABOUT TO BE
UP FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,
MY NAME'S BEAU.
AND I'M GONNA BE
YOUR MASTER OF CEREMONIES.
Y'ALL KNOW
MY LITTLE BROTHER CAL.
HOWDY-DOODY, Y'ALL.
THIS HERE'S OUR BEAUTIFUL
SISTER DIDI.
HI, Y'ALL.
AND THAT HANDSOME CREATURE
BACK THERE
IS OUR LITTLE
BABY BROTHER REGGIE.
BUT DON'T GET TOO CLOSE.
HE WILL FUCKIN' BITE YOU.
(giggles)
SO Y'ALL KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE,
I PRESUME.
YOU.
POR QU ESTS AQU?
JUST LET US GO.
(man) PLEASE.
LET YOU GO.
(coughs)
(laughs)
LET YOU GO?
Y'ALL STEPPED ON
RED, WHITE, AND BLUE TERRITORY
WITHOUT A HALL PASS, HOMBRE.
TRY AGAIN.
I PROMISE. I PROMISE
WE'LL JUST GO BACK HOME.
NOW WHAT THE FUCK IS IN IT FOR
US IF WE JUST LET YOU GO HOME?
DIDI, TELL HIM.
NOTHIN', BEAU.
NOTHIN'.
SHE SAYS NOTHIN',
AND I BELIEVE HER.
SO NOW THE FUN STUFF.
Y'ALL MIGHT NOT KNOW THIS,
BUT OUR DADDY
IS A VERY POWERFUL MAN.
(growling)
HE'S SOMEONE I'D LIKE TO
INTRODUCE Y'ALL TO
AT SOME POINT,
HOWEVER,
HE GETS A LITTLE NERVOUS
AROUND BIG CROWDS.
SO WE'RE GONNA BRING
Y'ALL BACK ONE AT A TIME
TO MEET HIM.
SO WHO'S FIRST?
(growling)
AH, HELL,
I NEVER LIKED PICKING.
SOMEONE'S FEELINGS
ALWAYS GET HURT.
CAL, WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?
I DON'T KNOW, BEAU.
THIS IS HARD.
I'LL DO IT. I'LL DO IT.
I'LL DO IT.
ALL RIGHT, DIDI.
BUT YOU PICK
WISELY NOW.
I KNOW WHAT TO DO.
DUCK, DUCK!
(Cal giggles)
DUCK,
DUCK,
DUCK, DUCK,
DUCK, DUCK,
DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE.
AH, IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE THE GOOSE, HOMBRE.
(laughing)
NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO!
TIME TO MEE EL MONSTRUO.
(yelling and laughter)
(man whimpering)
(Reggie) YOU'RE STUPID.
I DIDN'T KILL YOU.
IT'S YOUR FAULT, 'CAUSE YOU'RE
NOT WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE.
(loud crunch, squishing)
(loud crunch,
whimpering stops)
BLOOD.
(crying) BLOOD.
NO, NO, NO.
BLOOD. (screams)
AAH!
THIS IS YOUR FAULT!
AAH!
(giggling)
(Didi) LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA
(mariachi music playing)
CUCARACHA
CUCARACHA
LA LA
LA-LA LA-LA LA
YOU WANT TO TOUCH ME?
I HAVE A SURPRISE
FOR YOU.
YOU LIKE GOATS,
DON'T YA?
OH. AH. OOPS.
(giggles)
(squeals)
STAY RIGHT THERE.
POP. HMM.
(woman screaming)
NO, POR FAVOR!
NO! NO!
NO, POR FAVOR!
NO!
(crying) NO! NO!
NO, POR FAVOR!
NO! NO!
SHUT UP.
THIS WON'T HURT NONE.
NO!
NO, POR FAVOR!
NO.
NO, NO.
(grunts)
(screams)
(groans)
(growls)
(whimpering)
(man) AH, YEAH.
(gunshot)
GODDAMN, CAL.
YOU GOT BLOOD
EVERYWHERE.
(giggles)
(laughing) I CAN NEVER
GET OVER DEAD MEXICANS.
YOU'RE DISGUSTING.
(giggling)
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
I FORGOT TO ASK YOU
YOUR NAME.
I MEAN, WE'RE GONNA BE
BESTIES NOW.
FUCK YOU.
"FUCK YOU" IS A REALLY WEIRD
FUCKIN' NAME FOR A MEXICAN.
MAYBE FOR A CHINAMAN.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU
DOING THIS ANYWAY?
BECAUSE YOU WERE
TRESPASSIN'.
I WASN'T TRESPASSING.
I'M A FUCKING
AMERICAN CITIZEN, BITCH!
I WAS JUST HELPING
MY PEOPLE.
UH-OH, I'M KILLIN'
ONE OF MY OWN.
(speaking indistinctly)
BESIDES, YOU'RE NOT EVEN
FUCKING AMERICAN.
ALL YOU DO IS MAKE 'EM
LOOK LIKE TRASH,
LIKE THE FUCKING
WHITE TRASH YOU ARE.
I'M GONNA MAKE YOU
MY SLAVE.
OH, YEAH?
WELL, I THINK YOU MESSED
WITH THE WRONG MEXICAN, BITCH.
(gasps)
OH, THIS IS KINKY!
THAT'S KINKY?
THAT'S KINKY FOR YOU?
(giggling)
IS THIS KINKY FOR YOU,
BITCH?!
DIE, BITCH, DIE!
(speaking indistinctly)
DIE, BITCH, DIE!
YOU MESSED
WITH THE WRONG COYOTE.
(yells)
MMM.
BEANS ARE REALLY GOOD.
DON'T Y'ALL THINK SO?
MAN, HOW COME IT TAKES YOU
TWO TIMES TO FRY 'EM?
(speaking Spanish)
YOU WHAT?
YOU WANT SOME BEANS?
(speaking Spanish)
HOMBRE?
THERE'S SOME BEANS.
EAT 'EM.
(revolver cocks)
EAT 'EM.
YOU'RE HOMBRE, RIGHT?
IT'S OKAY. I DIDN'T SAY
YOU COULD USE YOUR HANDS.
JUST EAT 'EM.
PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN.
JUST EAT IT.
YOU'RE HUNGRY, AREN'T YOU?
WHO ELSE IS HUNGRY?
ANYBODY ELSE
HUNGRY?
(speaking Spanish)
EAT IT. EAT IT.
EAT THE BEANS.
NO, SENOR.
Y'ALL WON'T DO IT?
BANG!
(laughing)
YOU DON'T GOTTA EAT 'EM.
SORRY, BRO.
HERE.
MAYBE THERE'S A FEW LEFT.
(singsong voice)
FEE, FI, FO, FUM,
I'M GONNA FIND YOU.
(whispering) OH, FUCK.
FUCK.
(cell phone buzzes)
YO, THIS IS P.
HEY, P.,
IT'S OSCAR, MAN.
(speaking indistinctly)
WHERE YOU AT, FOOL?
P., EVERYTHING
WENT TO SHIT.
(speaking Spanish)
HOLLER, DAWG.
(speaking Spanish)
WHAT'S UP, MOTHERFUCKER?
WHERE YOU BEEN?
We were caught.
BY WHO?
(speaking Spanish)
FUCK, EVERYTHING'S
FUCKING UP.
MOTHERFUCKER,
BY WHO?
EL MONSTRUO.
COME ON, MAN,
Don't be joking
with me like that, ese.
I AIN'T JOKING WITH YOU,
ASSHOLE.
I SAW HIM WITH
MY OWN TWO EYES...
(sighs)
LOOK, MOTHERFUCKER, I'M GONNA
TELL YOU THIS 'CAUSE I LOVE YOU.
YOU'RE MY BROTHER.
YOU'RE MY FAMILY.
Dude, El Monstruo
is just a fucking myth
CREATED BY OUR AMERICAN-HATING
ANCESTORS, MOTHERFUCKER,
JUST TO SCARE
THE FUCK OUT OF US.
CHRISTIAN, IF I WANTED
TO BE FUCKING WITH YOU,
I WOULD BE FUCKING WITH YOU,
SON OF A BITCH!
Come help me out!
I need your help!
Please come down
here, dude!
OKAY, MOTHERFUCKER,
I'LL BE THERE. WHERE YOU AT?
I DON'T KNOW,
SOME FUCKING SHITTY PARK
NORTH OF A BORDER TOWN
BY BARRIO.
All right.
I'll be there, bro.
OKAY, JUST--
JUST FIND ME, DUDE.
FIND ME.
(sighs)
THIS MOTHERFUCKER WANTS US
TO GO PICK HIM UP.
HE'S AT A PARK OUTSIDE
THE BARRIO BORDER, MAN.
KNOW WHERE THAT IS?
(speaking
indistinctly)
LET'S GO, MAN.
MOTHERFUCKER THINKS
HE SAW EL MONSTRUO, ESE.
WHAT THE FUCK?
(laughs)
(speaking
indistinctly)
BEEN SMOKING
TOO MUCH CRACK, HOMEY.
(speaking
indistinctly)
RALE.
LET'S ROLL, DAWG.
OH, NO.
I LOST ANOTHER MEXICAN.
BEAU IS GONNA BE
SO MAD AT ME.
(hip-hop music playing)
(music stops)
OH, MY GOD, P.,
EL MONSTRUO'S GONNA GET US, P.!
EL MONSTRUO'S
GONNA GET US!
LISTEN,
SON OF A BITCH,
FOR AS MUCH
AS YOU'RE MY BROTHER,
I'LL STILL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU
KEEP MAKING FUN OF THAT SHIT.
I KNOW WHAT I SAW.
(speaking Spanish)
SO YOU BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE ME
AND STOP SHITTING AROUND.
YOU, TOO, P.
THERE'S A LO OF PEOPLE THERE,
AND THEY ALL NEED
OUR FUCKING HELP! OKAY?
SO STOP IT!
LET'S DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
OKAY, MAN. JUST TELL US
WHERE THE FUCK HE IS.
LET'S GO GET 'EM.
LET'S GO GET 'EM, ESE.
(strumming banjo)
(playing "Amazing Grace")
(both) AMAZING GRACE
HOW SWEET THE SOUND
THAT SAVED A WRETCH
LIKE ME
I ONCE WAS LOS BUT NOW AM FOUND
WAS BLIND
BUT NOW I SEE
DIDI?
DIDI?
DIDI.
DIDI.
(grunts)
DIDI. (moaning)
HEY! NO! DIDI.
(sobbing)
DIDI. DIDI.
DIDI! NO!
(screaming)
(sobbing)
REGGIE,
WHO DID THIS?
I DON'T KNOW,
BEAU.
I DON'T KNOW,
BEAU.
SHH.
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
IT'S OKAY.
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A MEXICAN
ON THE LOOSE, BOYS,
A VERY DEAD MEXICAN.
(both crying)
(screams)
DADDY,
DIDI'S DEAD.
(sighs)
(growling)
WE GOT A BREACH,
BUT I'M GONNA LOCK
THIS PLACE DOWN.
(screams)
(animal roars)
(Cal laughs)
REALLY, Y'ALL?
WE ALREADY GOT OUR FIRS "MEXICAN OF THE YEAR" AWARD,
HUH? CONGRATULATIONS.
SEE, THE ONLY PROBLEM
I GOT WITH THAT IS
NOW I'VE GOTTA PUT YOU
ON LOCKDOWN
WHILE WE HUN THAT MOTHERFUCKER DOWN.
(revolver cocks)
WE WILL HUNT HIM DOWN.
AND WHEN WE FIND HIM,
WE'RE GONNA GUT HIM
LIKE THE PIG HE IS.
(speaking Spanish)
(voices overlapping)
(man) NO, NO...
(speaking Spanish)
YOU LITTLE SHITS.
NO, NO.
OH, YOU--YOU ARE PRETTY,
YOU KNOW?
IT'S OKAY.
(speaking Spanish)
YOU SEE, I'M NOT LIKE
MY BROTHER BEAU.
I KNOW THAT A GOOD MEXICAN...
(revolver clicks)
NO. NO.
IT'S OKAY,
I WOULDN'T HURT YOU.
(crying)
(speaking indistinctly)
BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
(laughing)
BANG! BANG!
CRAZY FUCK.
HEY, WHERE YOU GOIN',
DAWG? HUH?
WHERE THE FUCK
YOU GOIN'?
AAH!
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU GOT AN AXE, HOMEY.
I GOT A BLADE, ESE.
YOU SHOULD BE ABLE
TO TAKE ME DOWN, NO?
WHAT THE FUCK YOU WAITING FOR?
(speaking indistinctly)
AAH! (grunts)
(speaking indistinctly)
SHOULD I KILL YOU
OR LET YOU BLEED OUT,
CABRN?
(animal growling)
(loud crack)
(indistinct conversation)
BOO!
SOMEBODY MISSED
OL' CAL.
YEAH. DID YOU REALIZE
YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG
MEXICANS, PUTO?
(laughs)
SEE, THE THING IS,
I LOVE MESSING
WITH THE WRONG MEXICANS.
SO ARE YOU GONNA SHOO OR JUST POINT THAT SHIT AT ME?
HUH?
HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE IT?
WELL, PUTO, YOU AND ME
HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?
WHAT'S THAT?
JUST LIKE YOU,
I HAVE A BROTHER.
A DEAD ONE.
HE'S A LOT SMARTER.
OKAY.
(gunshot)
AND HE'S STANDING
RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
THIS AIN'T OUR FIRST TIME
AT THE RODEO, FUCKER.
(Christian speaking
Spanish)
I'M GONNA KILL
ALL THESE MEXICANS.
I'M GONNA KILL
ALL OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!
(Beau sighs)
(man) SO IT SEEMS THE TABLES
HAVE TURNED, EH?
PUTO?
(laughs)
FUCK YOU.
NO, FUCK YOU.
LISTEN TO ME.
LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF.
I'M OSCAR, AND THAT THERE
IS MY BROTHER CHRISTIAN.
(laughs) CHRISTIAN?
OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH.
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I JUST NOTICED
THAT ME AND MY BRO HERE
MIGHT BE JUST A LITTLE BI MORE CRAZIER, YOU KNOW,
MORE LOCO THAN YOU.
(laughs) I DON'T THINK SO,
MOTHERFUCKER.
AND I AIN'T CRAZY.
I'M JUST AN AMERICAN HERO.
OH, AMERICAN HERO.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHUT THE FUCK UP, MOTHERFUCKER!
YOU KNOW, WE'RE
STILL TALKING, MAN.
AAH!
LISTEN TO HIM!
ME AND MY BROTHER
ARE IN A FUCKIN' DILEMMA.
YOU'VE CAUSED SO MUCH SHI TO MY FUCKIN' PEOPLE,
IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY.
IT'S NOT EVEN FAIR.
THERE'S NO PUNISHMEN I COULD DO TO YOU,
YOU LITTLE PIECE OF WHITE TRASH,
THAT WOULD EVEN COMPARE
TO WHAT YOU'VE DONE
TO MY PEOPLE.
HEY, HEY.
I'VE GOT A LITTLE ITCH
ON MY NOSE.
CAN YOU GET IT?
YEAH, SURE, MAN.
SO I'VE GOT THREE OPTIONS
FOR YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.
FIRST ONE IS I PUT A BULLE THROUGH YOUR FUCKIN' HEAD.
YOU'D LOVE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU?
IT'D BE QUICK AND EASY,
CALL IT A DAY.
BUT NO, MOTHERFUCKER.
THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU DESERVE,
YOU PIECE OF WHITE TRASH.
OPTION NUMBER TWO,
WE TORTURE THE FUCK OUT OF YOU,
MOTHERFUCKER.
(laughs)
WE MAKE NOT EVEN BE ABLE
TO WALK, TALK,
OR EVEN SEE RIGHT,
MOTHERFUCKER.
(groans)
IMAGINE YOURSELF LIKE THIS,
ALL CROSS-EYED AND SHIT.
THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH...
I GET SOME OF MY HOMEYS
IN HERE,
GIVE YOU A TASTE
OF YOUR OWN FUCKIN' MEDICINE,
YOU PIECE OF WHITE TRASH.
HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
(Oscar) THAT'S RIGHT.
OKAY, WELL...
(clears throat)
COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR
AND BRUSH SOME TEETH?
OR I GOT SOME GUM
IN BACK POCKET.
YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF THA DOG SHIT BREATH OF YOURS.
ALL RIGHT, BITCH.
Y'ALL KNOW
WHO MY DADDY IS?
YOU KNOW WHO
MY FUCKIN' DADDY IS?!
AAH!
I KNOW WHO
YOUR FUCKIN' DADDY IS.
(grunting)
I KNOW WHO HE IS.
HE'S EL MONSTRUO, NO?
OH, BY THE WAY, I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU KNOW OUR LITTLE NICKNAME.
ME AND HIM...
OH, YEAH,
THE BROTHERS COYOTE, HUH?
SURE,
I HEARD OF YOU.
THAT'S RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER.
BROTHERS COYOTE
FOR YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.
NOT ONLY ARE YOU GONNA DIE...
BUT YOU'RE ALSO GONNA SEE
YOUR DAD DIE, MOTHERFUCKER.
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA KILL
THAT SON OF A BITCH.
THAT'S RIGHT,
WE'RE GONNA KILL HIM.
THAT LEGEND IS GONE.
EL MONSTRUO'S OVER,
MOTHERFUCKER.
I'M DONE
WITH YOUR SHIT, PUTO.
YO, HOMEYS, GET IN HERE.
HAVE FUN, MOTHERFUCKER.
BRING IT,
HERMANOS COYOTES!
FUCKIN' BRING IT!
COME ON, LET'S GO!
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
(indistinct shouting)
WHOO!
HERMANOS COYOTES,
MOTHERFUCKER!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
GOD BLESS YOU!
(indistinct shouting)
(Oscar) EL MONSTRUO.
NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU,
FUCKER.
YOU KNOW YOU GOT I COMING TO YOU.
YEAH.
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES
A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED
MEXICAN STANDOFF, MOTHERFUCKER.
(laughs)
WHAT THE FUCK
YOU LAUGHING AT, PAYASO?
DON'T YOU KNOW BROWN
IS THE NEW RED, WHITE, AND BLUE?
PUTO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
(speaking Spanish)
LET'S GO, MOTHERFUCKER.
(rock music playing)
(gunshot)
I HOPE THIS SONG
WILL BE THE END
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THAT?
WHAT DO I THINK?
I THINK YOU'RE PEDRO.
AND I THINK YOU HAVE
OUR FUCKIN' DRUGS.
I THINK YOU
ARE MISTAKEN.
NOW I'M GONNA
ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME...
BRYAN, WHAT THE FUCK?
PEDRO, WHERE THE FUCK
ARE OUR DRUGS?
YOU KNOW,
TELLING ALL THESE STORIES
IS MAKING ME
HUNGRY AGAIN.
(Kyle) BRYAN, THIS GUY IS
OBVIOUSLY A FUCKING LUNATIC.
CAN WE PLEASE
JUST LEAVE?
NO, WE CAN'T LEAVE.
OKAY, WE CAME HERE FOR DRUGS.
I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT 'EM.
I WISH TIO WAS HERE
SO I COULD HAVE SOME
OF HIS DELICIOUS TACOS.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF YOU WANT TO STAY HERE
WITH THE CANNIBALISTIC
TACO GUY, BE MY GUEST.
I'M FUCKING LEAVING,
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU.
WAIT. I HAVE
ONE MORE STORY.
NO, FUCK YOU. OKAY? AND FUCK
YOUR STUPID FAIRY TALES.
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
FIVE SECONDS.
IF I DON'T HAVE
MY FUCKIN' DRUGS,
I'M GONNA PUT A HOLE
IN THAT BIG BROWN HEAD OF YOURS.
IT'S ABOUT TWO
YOUNG GENTLEMEN...
FIVE...
WHO SNUCK
INTO BARRIO COUNTRY...
FOUR...
AND WERE LOOKING
FOR DRUGS.
THREE...
PEDRO, HE'S NO FUCKING AROUND.
BRYAN,
PUT THE GUN AWAY.
THEY WERE LOOKING
FOR TROUBLE
IN ALL THE WRONG
PLACES.
TWO--BITCH, I WILL SHOOT YOU
OUT OF PRINCIPLE.
THEY WERE IN
OVER THEIR HEADS,
GOT CHOPPED UP
INTO TINY PIECES,
SERVED TO HOMELESS
MEXICANS.
ONE!
BANG!
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
HOMBRE?
YOU NEVER KILLED
ANYBODY BEFORE?
WHAT'S SO FUCKIN'
FUNNY, MAN?
(laughing)
ME NEITHER.
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO MY FRIEND PEDRO.
HOLA, AMIGO.
(laughing)
(speaking indistinctly)
(screaming)
WELCOME TO BARRIO,
AMIGOS.
(cell phone ringing)
I HAVE TO TAKE THIS.
HOLA. THIS IS PEDRO.
YES, I HAVE ECSTASY.
OF COURSE I HAVE ECSTASY.
COCAINE, MARIJUANA.
I GOT IT ALL.
YOU KNOW WHERE BARRIO IS?
(film projector clicking)
(rock music playing)
I'M A BIG BAD HAWK
I LIKE TO FLY IN THE DARK
I'M A BIG BAD HAWK
I'M LEAVIN'
BUH BUH-BUH BUH
BUH-BUH
B-B-BIG BAD WOLF
JUST ROAMIN' AROUND
B-B-BIG BAD WOLF
SAYING HI TO THE GROUND
(snarls)
DON'T STEP ON THE ROCKS
YOU'RE MAKIN'
TOO MUCH NOISE
THERE'S MRS. SMITH'S SONS
THEY'RE WILD BOYS
YOU GONNA COME AROUND HERE
(howls)
(rock music playing)
I'M A BIG BAD HAWK
I LIKE TO FLY IN THE DARK
I'M A BIG BAD HAWK
I'M LEAVIN'
BUH BUH-BUH BUH
BUH-BUH
B-B-BIG BAD WOLF
JUST ROLLIN' AROUND
B-B-BIG BAD WOLF
SAYING HI TO THE GROUND
(growls)
(growls)
(growls)
DON'T STEP ON THE ROCKS
YOU'RE MAKING TOO MUCH NOISE
THERE'S MRS. SMITH'S SONS
THEY'RE WILD BOYS
YOU GONNA COME AROUND HERE
YOU BETTER KEEP IT QUIE COME AROUND HERE
YOU BETTER STAY SILEN (howling)
(hip-hop music playing)
COULD YOU WAIT FOR THA MAYBE, PLEASE?
WHY, MAN?
I'M FUCKIN' BORED.
UM, 'CAUSE WE'RE
IN MEXICO,
AND I DON'T PLAN
ON GOING TO JAIL DOWN HERE.
DUDE, YOU'RE NO GONNA GO TO JAIL.
THERE'S FUCKIN'
NOBODY AROUND.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THEN,
FINE, GIMME SOME.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I ACTUALLY LET YOU CONVINCE ME
TO DRIVE DOWN HERE.
DUDE, YOU WANTED
CHEAP DRUGS.
WELL, HERE WE ARE.
WE'RE IN THE CHEAP DRUG
CAPITAL OF THE WORLD, MAN.
JESUS!
SHOULD I?
I DON'T KNOW.
ROLL IT DOWN.
HOLA, AMIGOS!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT HERE?
JUST WAITING
FOR A FRIEND.
YOU DON'T LOOK MEXICAN.
IS YOUR FRIEND MEXICAN?
WELL, WE'VE ACTUALLY
NEVER MET HIM OFFICIALLY.
HEH. YOU'RE A LITTLE FAR
OUT OF YOUR WAY
TO SEE A FRIEND
YOU NEVER EVEN MET.
LISTEN, CREEPY FUCK,
UH, WE'RE LOOKING
FOR A DUDE NAMED PEDRO.
DO YOU KNOW
WHO HE IS?
PEDRO?
YEAH.
I KNOW HIM WELL.
I WILL TAKE YOU RIGHT TO HIM.
UM...
O-OKAY.
WE'LL SIT HERE
AND WAIT FOR PEDRO.
HE IS RUNNING LATE.
SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
PICKING UP?
SOME FUCKIN' ORANGES.
WHY DO YOU CARE?
SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE
PICKING UP PARTY FAVORS
FOR YOUR FRIENDS.
YEAH, WELL,
YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY.
(chuckles)
I'M NOT THE ONE
TRESPASSING
TO SMUGGLE DRUGS
BACK INTO YOUR COUNTRY.
UM, SO WHEN'S PEDRO
GETTING HERE?
ANYTIME SOON, OR...
ALL YOU AMERICANS...
IN SUCH A RUSH.
YOU DON'T CARE WHO YOU HAVE
TO GET THROUGH OR HUR TO GET WHAT YOU WAN WHEN YOU WANT.
EVERYTHING IS HANDED
TO YOU.
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT,
YOU CRAZY FUCKIN' MEXICAN?
I'M TALKING ABOU RICH AMERICAN PUNKS
LIKE YOU.
YOU KNOW,
THERE'S A STORY
ABOUT THREE RICH KIDS
WHO DECIDED TO DISRESPEC SOMEONE FROM BARRIO,
SOMEONE WHO HELPED THEM,
SOMEONE INNOCEN WHO NEVER, EVER DID
ANYTHING WRONG
EXCEPT WORK
FOR A LIVING.
WELL, THESE BOYS...
THEY PAID DEARLY
FOR THEIR MISTAKES.
(film projector clicking)
("Ave Maria" playing)
AVE MARIA
(singing in foreign language)
(motorcycle approaching)
HONEY, I'M HOME!
MOM! YOUR BABY'S HOME
FROM COLLEGE!
DAD!
WELL, SO MUCH
FOR THE "WELCOME HOME" PARTY.
(sighs)
NICE.
"HEY, TREV, MOM AND I DECIDED
TO GO TO CAICOS LAST MINUTE.
"THE WEATHER IS STUNNING
THIS TIME OF YEAR.
"I LEFT YOUR GRADUATION PRESEN IN THE DRAWER.
"CONGRATS, KIDDO! DAD.
P.S. BE NICE
TO THE NEW MAID."
(clatter)
HOLA. HI.
HI.
YOU, UH, MUST BE
THE NEW MAID.
YES.
MARIA.
I'M SORRY?
MARIA.
M-MARIA?
YES.
COOL. YEAH.
THE SANDWICHES I TRIED--
IT SEEMS REALLY GOOD.
REALLY GOOD. IT WAS GOOD BREAD,
DIFFERENT BREAD. I--
(car horn honks)
THANK YOU.
I'M GONNA JUST...
OKAY.
I'M GONNA GO THAT WAY,
ACTUALLY.
ALL RIGHT.
(giggles)
OKAY.
(rock music playing)
(breathing heavily)
(groaning)
(man) DUDE, JUST--DUDE, BECAUSE
YOU'RE ALWAYS IN MY WAY...
WHAT'S UP, GUYS?
AND I ALMOST POOPED
IN THE COUGAR.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
OKAY, HEY, HOW YOU DOING?
I GOTTA TAKE A POOP, SO...
DUDE.
DANNY, WHAT'S UP?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YEAH.
WHERE ARE THE, UH,
WHERE ARE THE 'RENTS, BRO?
THEY ARE CURRENTLY
IN TURKS AND CAICOS.
OOH.
YEAH, CAICOS.
CLASSY.
WHERE'S THE MONEY?
WHAT MONEY?
YOUR PARENTS ARE WORTH
$4 BILLION.
THEY LEFT YOU MONEY.
OH! YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT THAT MONEY.
YEAH, FOLLOW ME.
NICE.
(Spanish music playing)
JEREMIAH
WAS A BULLFROG
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
MARIA.
(hip-hop music playing)
TWO STANDARD CINDERELLAS
FOR MNAGE TROIS
YOU JEALOUS OF THIS FELLA,
NOT AS SUAVE AS MOI
THE SLICKES IN THE CHICKEN COOP
YOU FI INTO A DIFFERENT GROUP
OF BITCHES
WHO SHOULD LISTEN TO
WHO THE FUCK'S THE SPANISH SOAP
STAR IN THE BATHROOM?
THAT IS THE NEW MAID--
MARIA.
SHE'S PRETTY FUCKIN' HOT,
RIGHT?
WHAT HAPPENED
TO LUPITA?
I DON'T--
I DON'T KNOW.
UH, SHE PROBABLY GOT CAUGH STEALING OR DEPORTED
OR FORGO TO SHAVE HER MUSTACHE
FOR, LIKE,
THE HUNDREDTH TIME.
(laughter)
(mocking laughter)
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
YOU HAVE A HOT-ASS SERVANT?
DIBS.
DUDE, I GOT DIBS.
YOU OKAY?
I REALLY LIKED LUPITA.
HELLO.
HOORAH.
(man) DAMN.
I'M JACK.
WELCOME TO AMERICA.
(sighs)
TU HABLO INGLES?
POQUITO.
BUENO.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE
YOU GUYS TALKIN' ABOUT?
IT'S SPANISH. WHAT?
YOU SOUND
LIKE A FUCKIN' IDIOT.
(scoffs)
MARIA,
SMOKE-Y EL WEEDO?
DICK. SHE'S WORKING,
ALL RIGHT?
LO SIENTO.
I'M SORRY.
N-NO PROBLEM.
COME ON.
WHAT, SHE CAN'T SCRUB
THE FLOORS WHILE SHE'S HIGH?
(eerie music playing)
(Trevor)
THERE IT IS.
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
I DON'T WANT YOU CUTTING MY SHI WITH, UH, BAKING POWDER
BECAUSE I'M NOT TRYING TO GROW
MUFFINS OUT OF MY NOSE.
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
(quietly)
I'M AT THE OFFICE.
WOW.
HEY, FUCK-FACE...
(snaps fingers)
$100 A BALL?
YEAH. YEAH. I MEAN, UNLESS
YOU STILL HAVE SAND IN YOUR PUSS
FROM THE LAST TIME
I SMOKED YOU.
NO, I DON'T HAVE
SAND IN MY PUSS.
HAVE YOU CHECKED?
(bong bubbling)
WE'RE ALL CLEAR.
YO, ELTON,
YOU GONNA PASS THAT?
NO.
FOR A GUY WHO'S GOT SAND
IN HIS PUSS,
I'M KINDA KICKIN'
YOUR ASS.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
YOU STILL HAVE
THE CASH, FUCKER?
OKAY, WATCH THIS.
MM-HMM.
ARE YOU WATCHING?
MM-HMM.
OOH.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK
I LOST MY CONTACT ON--
DID THAT GO IN?
I SAW A COLOR DROP.
(laughing)
I'M JUST NOT SURE
IF THAT WENT IN.
WHY WOULD I WANT LAUNDRY
DETERGENT IN MY COCAINE,
BECAUSE... (scoffs)
WHAT--WHAT AM I?
AM I--AM I TRYING TO CLEAN
CLOTHES WITH MY SEPTUM?
SO YOU WANT TO STOP BEING
A POOR PERSON AND GO FOR $300?
FUCK IT.
$300 IT IS.
COOL.
ALL RIGHT, UH...
WOW.
(Maria) SORRY.
BRAVO.
WAS THAT FOR REAL?
ARE WE COUNTING THAT?
YEAH, DUDE,
DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT.
I THINK SHE KNOWS
WHO HER BOSS IS.
NO, FUCK THAT.
ARE YOU FUCKIN' SERIOUS?
YOU JUST STEP
IN FRONT OF MY SHOT?
I'M SORRY.
JUST RELAX.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
GODDAMN IT.
WELL, THAT SHO JUST COST ME $300.
I'M SORRY.
HOW ARE YOU GONNA
PAY FOR IT?
UH, FOOD STAMPS?
I DON'T THINK SO.
ACTUALLY, I DO HAVE
A GOOD IDEA, THOUGH.
UM, EL BLOW JOB-O?
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?
I THINK THA WOULD MAKE US EVEN.
I THINK THAT'S
A SWELL IDEA.
I THINK WE KNOW
YOU THINK THAT, ELTON.
YOU GUYS ARE
BEING ASSHOLES.
AND LOOK AT CHE GUEVARA OVER
THERE BEING A REVOLUTIONARY.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M OVER IT.
UM, CONSUELA, CAN YOU JUST GE THE FUCK OUT, PLEASE?
MARIA.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
JUST GO.
WHY ARE YOU FUCKING
STARING AT ME? VAMANOS!
THAT'S A WORD
IN SPANISH, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GUYS ARE FUCKIN' DICKS.
AND HE GOTTA BE HIS OWN
WORST ENEMY ALL THE SAME
MARIA, ARE YOU OKAY?
GO AWAY.
OH, NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT HERE
TO FUCK WITH YOU.
THAT'S WEIRD.
OH.
(Trevor)
YO, YO, D-MAN!
WHAT UP?
OH, SUPER CHILL, BRO.
YEAH. UH, OKAY, SO, DANNY,
I HATE TO INTERRUP THE WHOLE SWAPPING
OF ENCHILADA RECIPES,
BUT I REALLY NEED YOUR INPU ON SOMETHING,
A LITTLE... (sniffing)
YOU KNOW? A LITTLE SOMETHIN'.
LIKE WHAT?
(sniffing) A LITTLE
SOMETHIN', SOMETHIN'.
OH, OKAY. OH...
NO?
YEAH, OKAY, I'LL JUST BE
THINKING ABOUT YOU NAKED.
(Awesome New Republic's
"Deep Love" playing)
I CAN'T WAI TO GET YOU OFF TONIGH I'LL SHIFT SHAPE
AND MAKE YOU SOFT TONIGH WE CAN'T FAKE I OOH, WE CAN MAKE I DEEP LOVE
OOH OOH
DEEP LOVE
OOH OOH
I CAN'T HIDE
WHEN YOU GO WALKING BY
OH OH OH OH
MAKE MY DAY
AND TAKE ME HOME TONIGH BUT I DON'T MIND
LET'S TAKE THE TIME
FOR DEEP LOVE
OOH OOH
(loud bang)
WHERE DID YOU
GET THIS SHIT?
UH, SOME CELEBRITY DEALER
NAMED JAVI.
HE ONLY SELLS TO CELEBRITIES
AND ARTISTS AND STUFF.
WELL, JAVI'S STUFF
TASTES LIKE SHIT.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, WAIT...
WOW, YOU'VE
TASTED SHIT.
LISTEN.
I WANT EVERYBODY TO LISTEN.
(all) OH!
WHOA, HEY,
HEY, HEY.
WHOA.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
I FUCKIN'--I GOT IT.
(all laughing)
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN,
I-I WANT TO MAKE A SPEECH
REAL QUICK...
SHH!
SO IF EVERYBODY COULD
GIVE ME A COUPLE SECONDS,
THAT'D BE FANTASTIC.
TREVOR,
LET'S DO IT.
JACK, PLEASE. UM...
(all laughing)
FIRST AND FOREMOST, I-I WOULD
LOVE TO TOAST TO MY PARENTS
FOR GIVING ME
THIS FUCKING AMAZING HOUSE
TO USE FOR THE SUMMER.
CAN I GET A "FUCK YEAH"?
(all) FUCK YEAH!
(Trevor) THANK YOU.
ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THEM
FOR THE, UM,
WE COUNTED.
WHAT WAS IT, LIKE, 15--
(Elton) 15 Gs.
15 Gs FOR ALL THE, UH...
(girl) OH.
ENABLING...
WHOO!
ELTON, I WOULDN'T GE TOO EXCITED.
YOU ARE PROBABLY LITERALLY
GONNA O.D. TONIGHT.
(all laughing)
UM, CAN'T--CAN'T FORGET--
I-I GOTTA THANK
TURKS AND CAICOS
FOR BEING
SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.
(Danny) IT IS A BEAUTIFUL
COUNTRY, YES.
(voices overlapping)
(Elton)
IT REALLY IS.
YES.
(Jack chuckles)
AND LAST,
BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST,
I WANT TO THANK MY PARENTS
FOR PURCHASING ME
THIS FUCKIN'
AMAZINGLY HOT MAID
THAT I'M PRETTY SURE I CAN DO
WHATEVER I WANT WITH
FOR THE RES OF THE SUMMER, RIGHT?
A FUCKIN'
SEX SLAVE, HUH?
MARIA, MARIA.
YOU FUCKIN'
FAT...
IT'S A THYROID
PROBLEM. MARIA.
FIESTA, POR FAVOR,
CON ALL OF US.
NO, NO, NO, NO...
(speaking indistinctly)
DANCE. YOU KNOW,
LIKE A CUCARACHA OR, UH,
WHAT DO THEY--WHAT DO THEY
FUCKIN' DO IN MEXICO?
I THINK IT'S SOMETHING LIKE...
DOO DOO DOO DOO
(Elton) DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO
(all laughing)
YOU CAN DO THA IF YOU WANT.
(Danny) NO, NO, NO...
(speaking Spanish)
SPEAK AMERICAN.
FUCK MEXICAN LANGUAGE.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.
WHY ARE YOU GUYS
TALKING TO THE HELP?
SHUT UP.
SHE'S FUCKIN' HOT.
BUT WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WHAT IS SHE HIDING
UNDER ALL OF THAT?
HEY, I'M FUCKING HUNGRY.
TELL HER TO MAKE
SOME SANDWICHES.
MARIA? MARIA, OVER HERE.
DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, A SWIMMING
SUIT, A BIKINI OR SOMETHING?
BECAUSE...
UN BIKINI?
YOU COULD BORROW MINE
IF YOU NEED TO.
(girl) TELL HER TO GO
IN HER BRA.
AH!
(Jack) NUDE.
(all) YEAH!
JACK, I'M GONNA BE HONES WITH YOU REAL QUICK.
I-I THINK SHE WANTS
TO GO IN THE POOL.
I JUST DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S
READY FOR THAT...
(laughter)
SO YOU SHOULD
PROBABLY TELL HER.
WHOO-HOO!
YES.
I THINK TREVOR'S
RIGHT.
SORRY, UM, DO YOU MIND
PICKING UP SOME OF THE, UH--
(all) OH!
(Trevor) DO IT!
JUST DO IT, BABY!
(Elton) OH, HO HO!
DO IT!
(cheering)
(crunch)
(girl screams)
OH, MY GOD, SHE HIT HER HEAD!
(cell phone ringing)
Hi, you've reached
Karen McDonaugh.
Please leave a message
after the tone.
Thank you.
(cell phone beeps)
Uh, hi, mom, it's Trevor.
Uh, I was just calling to see
how you were doing.
Um, I really need
to talk to you.
I, uh...
(breathing hard)
I think I really fucked up
this time.
And, uh, so I really need you
to come home, please.
Please.
ALL RIGHT,
WE HAVE TO BURY THE BODY.
NO, NO,
YOU HAVE TO FUCKIN'
BURY THE BODY.
WHY DO I HAVE TO BURY
THE BODY?
BECAUSE YOU FUCKIN'
KILLED HER.
(whimpering) MY MOM'S GONNA BE
SO FUCKING MAD AT ME.
SHUT THE FUCK UP,
ELTON.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BURY
THE FUCKIN' BODY.
ELTON, LET'S GO.
(retching)
(knock on door)
UM, JACK HARVEY
FOR WILLIAM WATKINS.
HAVE A SEAT AND I'LL LET HIM
KNOW YOU'RE HERE.
(typing)
(woman speaking Spanish,
voice echoing)
(mouthing words)
'SUP?
(groans)
(high-pitched whine)
(whimpering)
(panting)
(William) LOOK, BARRY,
ARE YOU LISTENING?
THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE GETTING
INTO THAT DEAL AT THAT PRICE.
I'M TELLING YA,
LAND IN FUCKIN' MEXICO
IS TOO FUCKIN' CHEAP TO GO UP
FROM WHERE WE ARE.
LOOK, JUST TELL HIM
I'M NOT SPENDING...
(voice fades out)
(high-pitched whine)
WELL, YOUNG MR. HARVEY.
(woman speaking Spanish,
voice echoing)
(Trevor grunting and moaning)
(high-pitched whine)
(groaning)
FUCK!
(screaming)
(faint heartbeat)
(panting)
(high-pitched whine)
(sobbing)
READY TO GIVE THE REAL WORLD
A SHOT, HUH? LOOKING FOR A JOB?
YES, SIR,
MR. WATKINS.
YOUR BALLS
HAVE DROPPED.
YOU CAN CALL ME
WILL NOW.
OKAY, WILL.
WELL, AS YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN
WORKING... (clears throat)
(loud rumbling)
WORKING AT MY FATHER'S
FIRM FOR, UM...
(coughs)
YOU OKAY?
YOU WANT SOME WATER?
(groaning)
(faint heartbeat)
(shrieking)
(loud bang)
(coughing)
(gurgling, choking)
WHAT THE FUCK?
(high-pitched whine)
(sobbing)
(screaming)
(low-pitched voice)
MARIA.
MARIA.
MARIA.
(panting and coughing)
(woman speaking indistinctly)
OH, GOD. TREVOR?
(crying)
(Danny speaking Spanish,
voice echoing)
(typing)
WHAT THE FUCK?
THAT IS--
THAT IS SUCH FUCKIN'
BULLSHIT, MAN. NO.
NO WAY.
OKAY, BLEEDING FROM THE EARS
AND EYES TURNING WHITE?
THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
ABSOLUTELY NOT. FALSE.
THIS GUY MIGHT ACTUALLY
SMOKE MORE WEED THAN WE DO.
OKAY, OKAY, TOUGH CROWD.
DIDN'T REALIZE YOU GUYS
WERE SO DOWN.
(chuckles) ALL RIGHT, MAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
MY DAD HAS A WHOLE CUPBOARD
FULL OF PILLS
WE CAN JUST VANDALIZE
IF WE WANT TO.
LET'S JUS GET OUTTA HERE.
(speaking
indistinctly)
YOU SHOULD LISTEN
TO YOUR HOMBRE HERE.
YEAH, WELL, YOU SHOULD MIND
YOUR OWN FUCKIN' BUSINESS.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
(whispering)
LET'S JUST GET OUTTA HERE.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
HEY, YOU GUYS HUNGRY?
UM, NO, THANK YOU.
I HAD SOME TACOS
ON THE WAY DOWN ALREADY, SO...
OH, YEAH?
WHERE FROM?
SOME FUCKIN' TRUCK.
WHY DO YOU CARE?
I DON'T KNOW.
I USED TO HAVE A FRIEND
IN THE TACO BUSINESS.
HE MADE THE BEST TACOS
NORTH OF BARRIO.
YEAH, WELL, WHO DOESN'T MAKE
TACOS IN THIS FUCKIN' TOWN?
(laughs)
THAT IS VERY FUNNY.
YOU DON'T MIND
IF I EAT, DO YOU?
GO AHEAD.
SURE.
MMM. FRESH TACOS.
SO GOOD.
YOU KNOW,
MY FRIEND TIO
WHO USED
TO MAKE THE TACOS,
HE HAD THE BEST SEASONING.
JUST MUY PERFECTO.
THEY SAY IT WAS THE, UH,
SECRET INGREDIENT.
(mariachi music playing)
(film projector clicking)
TIO'S TACOS IS NOW OPEN
FOR LUNCH.
(boy) GUYS.
GUYS. GUYS, WAIT UP
FOR ME, MAN.
I'M TRYING TO READ YOU
THIS STORY.
WE CAN HEAR YOU
FROM HERE, OGGY.
AND I DON'T NEED YOU
SPITTIN' ON ME, MAN.
OKAY. OKAY, LISTEN, GUYS,
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
"FOUR TEENAGERS HAVE GONE
MISSING IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS.
"EVIDENCE SUGGESTS THA THE COUNTY SHERRIFF'S DEPARTMEN "SUGGESTS THAT THESE CASES
ARE ALL PART OF
AND CONNECTED TO
A SERIAL KIDNAPPING."
DUDE, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS READING
DEPRESSING SHIT LIKE THIS?
I MEAN, CAN'T YOU
JUST ENJOY THE SUMMER
LIKE A NORMAL
HUMAN BEING?
OH, OKAY.
YOU WANT ME TO LIVE
LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING?
OKAY, SO BASICALLY
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS FOR ME
TO LIVE MY LIFE,
YOU KNOW, GO TO THE BEACH,
HAVE A GOOD TIME,
PUT ON SOME SUNSCREEN,
BUILD A SLIP 'N SLIDE,
YOU KNOW,
HAVE THE BEST SUMMER OF MY LIFE
AND PRETEND LIKE NOTHING--
NOTHING'S GOING ON.
OH, AND IF I GET KIDNAPPED,
YEAH, THAT'S JUST, LIKE,
SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN,
'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY
THE WORLD WORKS, RIGHT?
IF YOU GOT KIDNAPPED,
THE NAPPER WOULD BE SO BORED
AND TIRED AND ANNOYED WITH YOU
THAT HE'D HAVE YOU BACK
BEFORE DINNER.
HEY, UNCLE TIO,
WHAT'S HAPPENING, MAN?
(Tio) HEY, TYRONE.
HOW ARE YOU, BRO?
I'M GOOD.
HOW YOU DOING?
GOOD, MAN.
YOU READY
FOR ROUND TWO?
OH, YOUR TACOS
ARE KILLER, BRO.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
TRES ASADA.
THREE ASADA.
COMING RIGHT UP.
NICE.
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE
THESE ONES.
OH, YEAH?
EXTRA SPECIAL
JUST FOR YOU.
THAT SO?
ON THE HOUSE,
BROTHER.
OH.
ON THE HOUSE?
ON THE HOUSE.
RALE, MAN.
THANKS, BROTHER.
NOW GO FIX
THOSE POTHOLES FOR ME.
ALWAYS, MAN.
TAKE CARE, HUH?
ME AND MY HOMEYS
WERE IN THE MGM GRAND,
AND TONY HAWK CAME BY--
YO, BABY, YOU LIKE TACOS?
(woman) FUCK YOU.
(laughs)
(chuckles)
YOU LIKE TACOS.
TRUE.
(Tio)
WHAT'S UP, GUYS?
HEY, TIO.
WHAT'S UP, MAN?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
OGGY'S SCARED
HE'S GONNA GET KIDNAPPED.
LIKE ANYONE
EVEN WANTS HIM.
YOU KIDS
ARE FUNNY.
SO WHAT CAN I
DO FOR YOU?
UM, I'LL TAKE
A NUMBER ONE,
NO BEANS, NO RICE,
JUST THE GUACAMOLE.
OKAY.
AND, CHAD, I ALREADY
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
TWO TACOS, CARNE ASADA,
EXTRA MEAT.
YOU KNOW IT.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, OGGY?
OH, I'M NOT--
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
WHAT? YOU TELLING ME
YOU DON'T WANT MY TACOS?
WELL, I-I'M SORRY, TIO.
IT'S JUST--
I'M ON A MISSION.
PLANNING ON STOPPING
THE KIDNAPPINGS?
WELL--WELL,
AT LEAST TRY.
I MEAN--I MEAN, THE COPS
AREN'T DOING ANYTHING.
WELL, LET ME KNOW
IF YOU NEED MY HELP.
OKAY? LET ME GE THOSE TACOS FOR YOU.
DON'T FORGE THE GUACAMOLE.
I WILL NOT FORGE THE GUACAMOLE.
IT'S ALREADY
READY TO GO.
NICE DAY TODAY,
HUH?
YEAH.
I ALWAYS SAY
IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR TACOS.
DEFINITELY.
CHEERS.
ALL RIGHT.
BYE, TIO.
(Chad) ARE YOU GOING
TO STOP EATING
EVERY TIME SOMETHING BAD
LIKE THIS HAPPENS.
LIKE THE TIME YOU HEARD ABOU CHELSEA'S OLDER BROTHER ELTON...
OH.
DYING
IN THE BATHROOM?
YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA GO
BLIND FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS.
HEY.
HEY, THAT'S
A LEGITIMATE FEAR, OKAY?
YOU DON'T PLAY AROUND WITH THAT.
YOU DON'T TOUCH THAT, OKAY?
HE HAD 20/20 VISION
BEFORE THAT,
AND THEN SUDDENLY
HE COULDN'T SEE, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, OGGY.
FOR SURE.
(Tio) HEY, GUYS.
HEY.
HOW DO YOU LIKE
MY TACOS TODAY?
A LITTLE SPICIER.
NEW RECIPE?
I ADDED A LITTLE
SOMETHING EXTRA.
OKAY.
I'LL TELL YOU
MY SECRE IF YOU HELP ME PREPARE
FOR TOMORROW'S LUNCH.
WHY? WHERE'S HECTOR?
HECTOR...
OH, HECTOR.
HE WENT BACK TO BARRIO.
SO ANY TAKERS?
I GOT SOCCER
TONIGHT, MAN.
MY MOM'S MAKING ME DINNER
BEFORE SHE LEAVES TOWN TOMORROW.
WELL, TIO, I-I CAN HELP YOU.
I MEAN, I'M FREE, SO...
GREAT.
ON ONE CONDITION.
YEAH.
WHAT?
YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE MY SECRET,
INCLUDING THESE TWO.
COME ON.
COME ON, TIO.
ALL RIGHT,
YOU GOT A DEAL.
ALL RIGHT?
DEAL. THANK YOU.
SEE YOU SOON, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT,
BYE, TIO.
TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF.
BYE, TIO.
BYE.
HEY, DUDE,
HAVE YOU SEEN OGGY?
I DON'T KNOW.
HE'S YOUR FRIEND.
I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HIM
SINCE LAST NIGHT.
HE PROBABLY GOT HIS PENIS STUCK
IN AN ANTHILL AGAIN.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
YEAH, SO CAN WE GE SOMETHING TO EAT?
I'VE GOT THE MUNCHIES.
THANK YOU.
WHO'S THE FREAK SHOW?
THAT'S MY BROTHER LES.
HE'S STAYING WITH ME
WHILE MY MOM'S AWAY.
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH HIM?
I HAVE NO IDEA.
(metal clanking)
(girl) TIO!
(knocking on door)
TIO! TIO!
HEY, KIDS,
WHAT'S UP?
S-SORRY, TIO. UM, WE JUS THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE HAD
SOME MORE TACOS FOR US.
UH, YOU OKAY?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I'M FINE.
I'M FINE.
JUST, UH, WORKIN' HARD,
YOU KNOW?
AREN'T YOU CLOSED?
YEAH, YEAH, I'M CLOSED, BUT I'M
JUST FINISHING UP SOME THINGS.
YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING
READY TO GO. I'M TIRED.
I'M REAL TIRED. OKAY?
SEE YOU GUYS.
UH...
WHAT ABOUT THE TACOS?
YEAH, I'LL GET 'EM
FOR YOU.
OH, HEY, TIO,
UH, HAVE YOU SEEN OGGY?
UH, YEAH,
LAST TIME I SAW HIM,
HE WAS WITH, UH, YOU GUYS
HAVING LUNCH.
DIDN'T HE HELP YOU WITH
THE NEW RECIPE LAST NIGHT?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I-I
HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE THEN.
OH, OKAY.
MM-HMM.
ALL RIGHT.
SEE YOU LATER.
YOU GUYS TAKE CARE.
(girl whispering)
THAT WAS WEIRD.
I SAW BLOOD
ON HIS SHOES.
CHAD, HE'S A CHEF.
BUT IT LOOKED NEW.
WHERE'S
YOUR SKATEBOARD?
OH, SHIT.
BE RIGHT BACK.
(crunching, squishing sounds)
(sounds stop)
(metal clanking)
(Tio sighs)
TIO?
YEAH.
HELLO, CHAD.
WELL, HEY, TIO.
MY SKATEBOARD?
(eerie music playing)
THANKS.
TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF.
OKAY, DUDE, THERE'S JUST NO WAY
YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THIS.
I SWEAR TO GOOD, MIMS.
CHAD, ARE YOU SURE?
YES, I-I SAW HIS GLASSES WITH
A CRACK RIGHT DOWN THE FRAME.
OKAY, CHAD, BUT IT'S TIO.
I MEAN, HOW CAN WE
ACCUSE UNCLE TIO
OF BEING THE KIDNAPPER?
KIDNAPPER?
HE'S A FUCKING MURDERER.
I-I THINK I KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED TO HECTOR.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
HE MOVED BACK TO BARRIO.
NO, MIMS, HE GOT HACKED UP
INTO LITTLE PIECES BY UNCLE TIO.
(punk rock music playing)
(Mimi) LES! LES! LES!
(music stops)
LES!
WHAT THE FUCK, YO?!
DON'T TURN THAT SHIT OFF!
LES, IT'S IMPORTANT.
OKAY, I TOLD YOU
NOT TO BOTHER ME
WHEN I'M WORKING
ON MY WHIP, MEEM.
OKAY, THAT'S--
THAT'S SACRED TIME.
OKAY, LES, HAVE YOU SEEN
OGGY BY ANY CHANCE?
THE LITTLE FREAK
WITH THE GLASSES?
YES.
THAT WEARS THE HIGH-UP BACKPACK
AND THE MAD SCIENTIST HAIRCUT?
YES.
THE TYPE OF DUDE
WHO'S GONNA SHOOT UP A SCHOOL
IN THREE TO FIVE YEARS?
YES.
NO, I DON'T THINK
I'VE SEEN HIM.
(scoffs)
LES, ARE YOU SURE?
I'M AS SURE AS THIS
NORTH VALLEY HIGH
C.T.F. CHAMPIONSHIP RING,
SO, YEAH,
I'M PRETTY FUCKIN' SURE.
OH, DID YOU GRAB ME
SOME OF THOSE TACOS?
(Chad) NO.
TIO WAS TOO BUSY
HACKING UP OGGY.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
LITTLE SHIT TALKING ABOUT?
CHAD SWEARS HE SAW OGGY'S
GLASSES BLOODY AND BROKEN
IN TIO'S TRUCK.
YEAH, RIGHT, OKAY,
UNCLE TIO--
UNCLE TIO WOULDN'T HURT A FLY.
HE'S LIKE THE TOWN SAINT, OKAY?
HE MIGHT AS WELL BE
MY REAL UNCLE.
NO, LES, THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH TIO,
AND IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO
WITH ALL THOSE KIDS
THAT ARE DISAPPEARING.
NO, NO,
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH UNCLE TIO, OKAY?
THE ONLY THING THAT'S WRONG
WITH UNCLE TIO--
HE'S A KIND-HEARTED MEXICAN MAN
WHO'S BEEN SERVING
THIS COMMUNITY
FOR MANY YEARS, OKAY?
JAVI!
HEY.
WHAT'S UP,
BROTHER?
WHAT--LISTEN,
NOT NOW, LES. PLEASE.
ENOUGH OF THE SANDBOX
CONSPIRACY THEORIES, OKAY?
SCOOT YOUR BOOT.
LES!
SCOOT YOUR BOOT!
(scoffs)
YOUR SISTER, DUDE.
YOU GOT WHAT I NEED?
YOU MEAN A HIT?
I FUCKIN' NEED
MORE THAN A HIT.
LET'S DO IT.
(speaking indistinctly)
DON'T TOUCH IT.
DON'T FUCKIN' TOUCH IT.
CHILLY.
(mariachi music playing)
(cat mewling)
(loud thud, cat shrieks)
GO AWAY, YOU STUPID CAT.
(hip-hop music playing faintly)
(coughing)
ARE YOU SURE THIS SHI ISN'T LACED, MAN?
IT'S MAKING ME FEEL
KINDA FUNKY.
UH, NO, HOMEY.
I GOT IT FROM SOME CRACKHEAD
FROM EL BARRIO.
I TOLD SOME KIDS THAT I GOT I FROM SOME CELEB DEALER,
SO I CHARGED THEM, LIKE,
TWICE THE PRICE.
(laughing)
YOU'RE A BADASS
MOTHERFUCKER, JAVI.
WHO THE FUCK IS THA BACK THERE, DUDE?
DUDE, RELAX.
THAT'S
THAT TACO GUY.
OH, IT'S UNCLE TIO.
WHAT A WEIRD DUDE.
YOU BIT YOUR FUCKIN' TONGUE WHEN
YOU TALK ABOUT UNCLE TIO, OKAY?
HE'S A GOOD MAN.
JEEZ, MAN,
TAKE IT EASY.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M FUCKIN' SICK OF PEOPLE
PREJUDGING UNCLE TIO BEFORE
THEY GIVE HIM A SHOT, OKAY?
HE'S GOT A BIG HEART AND MAKES
A MEAN MOTHERFUCKIN' TACO.
LES, I DIDN' MEAN IT LIKE THAT.
YEAH, WELL,
IT HURT MY FEELINGS.
I WONDER
WHAT HE'S DOING OU SO FUCKIN' LATE
AT NIGHT, MAN.
MAYBE HE'S OPEN
LATE NIGHTS.
WHOA, REALLY?
YOU THINK SO?
OH, BUT IT'S LIKE
FUCKIN' 3:45 IN THE MORNING.
THAT--THAT'S TOO LATE.
THAT--THAT'S WEIRD.
SO GO FIND OUT.
AND BRING US BACK
SOME TACOS.
YOU THINK SO? YOU THINK
HE WOULD GIVE US SOME?
YEAH. YEAH.
TACOS WOULD BE GOOD.
SO I'M GONNA DO IT.
YEAH.
(voice squeaking)
HERE, YOU TAKE THAT.
(coughs) JUST DON'T--DON' SMOKE THE REST OF THAT, OKAY?
NO, NO.
DON'T FUCKIN'
SMOKE MY SHIT.
HEY, BRING BACK
SOME H-O-T SAUCE.
PUTO.
TIO!
TIO?
(knocking on door)
TIO, DUDE, YOU--
YOU OKAY?
FUCK.
I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU, TIO!
FUCK!
(cat mews)
(vomits)
FUCK, MAN.
WHAT THE...
(whispering)
TIO'S TACOS ARE PEOPLE.
(normal voice)
TIO'S TACOS ARE PEOPLE.
TIO'S TACOS ARE FUCKING PEOPLE!
(Les yelps)
(Javi) LES?
LES?
(sputtering)
(chuckles) WHO YOU TRYIN'
TO GET CRAZY WITH, ESE?
DON'T YOU KNOW
I'M LOCO?
(laughing)
(loud crash)
(Javi) LES?
(hip-hop music playing faintly)
(whimpering
and muttering)
(grunts)
(loud crack)
(clock ticking, echoing)
(car approaching)
(horn honking, loud bang)
(panting)
(screams)
LES! LES, IT'S HIM.
LES, OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE!
(crying)
"MIMI, I HOPE YOU'VE ENJOYED
YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
"FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS.
"YOUR BROTHER HELPED ME
MAKE THIS FOR YOU.
UNCLE TIO."
SHIT, SHIT, WHAT DO I DO?
WHERE'S MY BAT?
WHERE'S MY BAT? WHERE'S--
AAH!
(speaking indistinctly)
YOU CAN'T BEAT ME.
YOU'RE JUST A STUPID-ASS
LITTLE GIRL.
I'VE BEEN DOING THIS
MY WHOLE CULINARY LIFE.
(laughs)
AND HUMAN FLESH...
(sniffs)
OH, IT JUST TASTES BETTER.
(whimpers)
(laughing)
HUNTING PEOPLE
IS SO MUCH MORE INTIMATE
THAN HUNTING ANIMALS,
BECAUSE WE'RE SO MUCH EASIER
TO CATCH!
(laughing maniacally)
(coughing)
THIS MOLE SAUCE?
IT'S YOUR BROTHER.
YOU'RE FUCKIN' CRAZY.
FUCK YOU,
YOU LITTLE BITCH!
YOU LOVE MY TACOS.
I'M UNCLE TIO, REMEMBER?
(giggles)
THAT'S RIGHT.
(yelping and groaning)
(coughing)
DUDE, COME ON, MAN.
(man laughing)
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
MAN UP, KYLE.
I THREW UP ON MY SHOES.
OH, MY GOD.
LOOKS LIKE THOSE TACOS AREN' SITTING THAT WELL, HUH?
YOU REALLY ARE
A TWISTED OLD FUCK, MAN.
DUDE, FUCK THIS. I'M OVER IT.
CAN WE LEAVE, PLEASE?
STOP BEING A PUSSY, DUDE.
YOU ATE SOME FUCKIN' BAD TACOS.
BOOHOO. LISTEN, I KNOW
YOU'RE FUCKING WITH US, MAN.
AND I'M STARTING TO THINK
PEDRO'S NOT GONNA SHOW UP.
SO WHAT THE FUCK
IS GOING ON?
RELAX. RELAX.
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF NOWHERE.
IT TAKES TIME
TO GET OUT HERE.
NOT ALL OF US
HAVE CARS LIKE YOU.
SOMETIMES OUR SHI BREAKS DOWN.
(coyotes howling)
DON'T BE SO JUMPY.
THERE ARE A LOT OF WILD ANIMALS
AROUND HERE.
THIS IS JUST A COYOTE.
NOT LIKE IT'S A MONSTER
OR ANYTHING.
BUT WHO'S TO SAY
WHAT A MONSTER IS?
MAYBE A MONSTER TO ME
IS NOT A MONSTER TO YOU.
AND MAYBE A MONSTER TO YOU
IS NOT A MONSTER TO ME.
OR MAYBE A MONSTER TO ME
IS SOMEBODY
WHO KILLS HIS OWN KIND.
I'M TALKING ABOUT...
HUMAN-ON-HUMAN KILLING.
HMM.
WHAT IF I WERE
TO KILL ONE OF YOU,
NO EXPLANATION NECESSARY,
JUST COLD-BLOODED MURDER?
HMM. THEY SAY A MONSTER
STILL LURKS IN THIS VERY AREA
IN SEARCH FOR VENGEANCE.
HE WAS ONCE THE MOST FEARED
MEXICAN KILLER THERE WAS.
HE KILLED EVERYTHING
THAT STEPPED IN HIS PATH
TILL ONE DAY
SOME MEXICANS
KILLED HIS FAMILY
AND THOUGHT THEY'D SLAIN
THE MONSTER HIMSELF.
BUT EVERY NIGH I CAN STILL HEAR
THE GROANS
OF HIS SUFFERING
AND THE THIRS FOR HIS REVENGE.
(rock music playing)
(film projector clicking)
GETTING TOO CLOSE,
BETTER PULL ON BACK
SUCKER PUNCHES,
NEED A ONE-TWO
WHEN YOU'RE TALKIN'
ON THE TELEPHONE
YOU DON' M-M-M-M-M-M-MUMBLE
YOU GOT BUSINESS,
NEED TO FOLLOW THROUGH
YEAH
(singing indistinctly)
(speaking Spanish)
BUENOS DIAS, AMIGOS.
Y'ALL LOOKIN' FOR WORK?
S.
YEAH? WELL,
WELCOME TO AMERICA.
TU HABLO INGLES?
UH...
PO-POQUITO.
AH, YOU MEAN,
"YES, A LITTLE."
WE'RE IN AMERICA NOW,
HOMBRE.
WHERE Y'ALL
COMING FROM?
UM, MEXICO.
MEXICO. I KNOW MEXICO.
WHAT PART?
BARRIO?
BARRIO. BEAU,
THEY'RE FROM BARRIO.
ALL RIGHT.
Y'ALL HUNGRY, THIRSTY?
S.
S? WELL, IF Y'ALL
ARE LOOKIN' FOR WORK,
WE GOT PLENTY OF IT.
WHY DON'T Y'ALL HOP UP?
(man) COME ON, GUYS,
DON'T BE SCARED.
(man speaking
Spanish)
DON'T BE SCARED NOW.
MY NAME'S BEAU. THIS IS CAL.
HOWDY.
WELCOME TO AMERICA.
COME ON UP.
COME ON UP HERE.
COME ON.
WE GOT PLENTY
OF ROOM.
(Beau) ALL RIGHT.
THERE WE GO.
YOU GUYS MUST BE TIRED.
YOU ALL RIGHT THERE?
YOU GUYS MAKE YOURSELVES
AT HOME BACK HERE.
I WISH WE HAD BETTER SEATS
FOR Y'ALL.
(whistles)
HEY, Y'ALL THIRSTY?
AGUA.
THERE YOU GO, AMIGOS.
SHARE IT AROUND.
JUAN...
(metal clanking)
(Beau) GOOD MORNING,
MEXICANS!
WELL, I HOPE Y'ALL GO SOME GOOD SLEEP,
'CAUSE Y'ALL ARE ABOUT TO BE
UP FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,
MY NAME'S BEAU.
AND I'M GONNA BE
YOUR MASTER OF CEREMONIES.
Y'ALL KNOW
MY LITTLE BROTHER CAL.
HOWDY-DOODY, Y'ALL.
THIS HERE'S OUR BEAUTIFUL
SISTER DIDI.
HI, Y'ALL.
AND THAT HANDSOME CREATURE
BACK THERE
IS OUR LITTLE
BABY BROTHER REGGIE.
BUT DON'T GET TOO CLOSE.
HE WILL FUCKIN' BITE YOU.
(giggles)
SO Y'ALL KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE,
I PRESUME.
YOU.
POR QU ESTS AQU?
JUST LET US GO.
(man) PLEASE.
LET YOU GO.
(coughs)
(laughs)
LET YOU GO?
Y'ALL STEPPED ON
RED, WHITE, AND BLUE TERRITORY
WITHOUT A HALL PASS, HOMBRE.
TRY AGAIN.
I PROMISE. I PROMISE
WE'LL JUST GO BACK HOME.
NOW WHAT THE FUCK IS IN IT FOR
US IF WE JUST LET YOU GO HOME?
DIDI, TELL HIM.
NOTHIN', BEAU.
NOTHIN'.
SHE SAYS NOTHIN',
AND I BELIEVE HER.
SO NOW THE FUN STUFF.
Y'ALL MIGHT NOT KNOW THIS,
BUT OUR DADDY
IS A VERY POWERFUL MAN.
(growling)
HE'S SOMEONE I'D LIKE TO
INTRODUCE Y'ALL TO
AT SOME POINT,
HOWEVER,
HE GETS A LITTLE NERVOUS
AROUND BIG CROWDS.
SO WE'RE GONNA BRING
Y'ALL BACK ONE AT A TIME
TO MEET HIM.
SO WHO'S FIRST?
(growling)
AH, HELL,
I NEVER LIKED PICKING.
SOMEONE'S FEELINGS
ALWAYS GET HURT.
CAL, WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?
I DON'T KNOW, BEAU.
THIS IS HARD.
I'LL DO IT. I'LL DO IT.
I'LL DO IT.
ALL RIGHT, DIDI.
BUT YOU PICK
WISELY NOW.
I KNOW WHAT TO DO.
DUCK, DUCK!
(Cal giggles)
DUCK,
DUCK,
DUCK, DUCK,
DUCK, DUCK,
DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE.
AH, IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE THE GOOSE, HOMBRE.
(laughing)
NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO!
TIME TO MEE EL MONSTRUO.
(yelling and laughter)
(man whimpering)
(Reggie) YOU'RE STUPID.
I DIDN'T KILL YOU.
IT'S YOUR FAULT, 'CAUSE YOU'RE
NOT WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE.
(loud crunch, squishing)
(loud crunch,
whimpering stops)
BLOOD.
(crying) BLOOD.
NO, NO, NO.
BLOOD. (screams)
AAH!
THIS IS YOUR FAULT!
AAH!
(giggling)
(Didi) LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA
(mariachi music playing)
CUCARACHA
CUCARACHA
LA LA
LA-LA LA-LA LA
YOU WANT TO TOUCH ME?
I HAVE A SURPRISE
FOR YOU.
YOU LIKE GOATS,
DON'T YA?
OH. AH. OOPS.
(giggles)
(squeals)
STAY RIGHT THERE.
POP. HMM.
(woman screaming)
NO, POR FAVOR!
NO! NO!
NO, POR FAVOR!
NO!
(crying) NO! NO!
NO, POR FAVOR!
NO! NO!
SHUT UP.
THIS WON'T HURT NONE.
NO!
NO, POR FAVOR!
NO.
NO, NO.
(grunts)
(screams)
(groans)
(growls)
(whimpering)
(man) AH, YEAH.
(gunshot)
GODDAMN, CAL.
YOU GOT BLOOD
EVERYWHERE.
(giggles)
(laughing) I CAN NEVER
GET OVER DEAD MEXICANS.
YOU'RE DISGUSTING.
(giggling)
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
I FORGOT TO ASK YOU
YOUR NAME.
I MEAN, WE'RE GONNA BE
BESTIES NOW.
FUCK YOU.
"FUCK YOU" IS A REALLY WEIRD
FUCKIN' NAME FOR A MEXICAN.
MAYBE FOR A CHINAMAN.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU
DOING THIS ANYWAY?
BECAUSE YOU WERE
TRESPASSIN'.
I WASN'T TRESPASSING.
I'M A FUCKING
AMERICAN CITIZEN, BITCH!
I WAS JUST HELPING
MY PEOPLE.
UH-OH, I'M KILLIN'
ONE OF MY OWN.
(speaking indistinctly)
BESIDES, YOU'RE NOT EVEN
FUCKING AMERICAN.
ALL YOU DO IS MAKE 'EM
LOOK LIKE TRASH,
LIKE THE FUCKING
WHITE TRASH YOU ARE.
I'M GONNA MAKE YOU
MY SLAVE.
OH, YEAH?
WELL, I THINK YOU MESSED
WITH THE WRONG MEXICAN, BITCH.
(gasps)
OH, THIS IS KINKY!
THAT'S KINKY?
THAT'S KINKY FOR YOU?
(giggling)
IS THIS KINKY FOR YOU,
BITCH?!
DIE, BITCH, DIE!
(speaking indistinctly)
DIE, BITCH, DIE!
YOU MESSED
WITH THE WRONG COYOTE.
(yells)
MMM.
BEANS ARE REALLY GOOD.
DON'T Y'ALL THINK SO?
MAN, HOW COME IT TAKES YOU
TWO TIMES TO FRY 'EM?
(speaking Spanish)
YOU WHAT?
YOU WANT SOME BEANS?
(speaking Spanish)
HOMBRE?
THERE'S SOME BEANS.
EAT 'EM.
(revolver cocks)
EAT 'EM.
YOU'RE HOMBRE, RIGHT?
IT'S OKAY. I DIDN'T SAY
YOU COULD USE YOUR HANDS.
JUST EAT 'EM.
PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN.
JUST EAT IT.
YOU'RE HUNGRY, AREN'T YOU?
WHO ELSE IS HUNGRY?
ANYBODY ELSE
HUNGRY?
(speaking Spanish)
EAT IT. EAT IT.
EAT THE BEANS.
NO, SENOR.
Y'ALL WON'T DO IT?
BANG!
(laughing)
YOU DON'T GOTTA EAT 'EM.
SORRY, BRO.
HERE.
MAYBE THERE'S A FEW LEFT.
(singsong voice)
FEE, FI, FO, FUM,
I'M GONNA FIND YOU.
(whispering) OH, FUCK.
FUCK.
(cell phone buzzes)
YO, THIS IS P.
HEY, P.,
IT'S OSCAR, MAN.
(speaking indistinctly)
WHERE YOU AT, FOOL?
P., EVERYTHING
WENT TO SHIT.
(speaking Spanish)
HOLLER, DAWG.
(speaking Spanish)
WHAT'S UP, MOTHERFUCKER?
WHERE YOU BEEN?
We were caught.
BY WHO?
(speaking Spanish)
FUCK, EVERYTHING'S
FUCKING UP.
MOTHERFUCKER,
BY WHO?
EL MONSTRUO.
COME ON, MAN,
Don't be joking
with me like that, ese.
I AIN'T JOKING WITH YOU,
ASSHOLE.
I SAW HIM WITH
MY OWN TWO EYES...
(sighs)
LOOK, MOTHERFUCKER, I'M GONNA
TELL YOU THIS 'CAUSE I LOVE YOU.
YOU'RE MY BROTHER.
YOU'RE MY FAMILY.
Dude, El Monstruo
is just a fucking myth
CREATED BY OUR AMERICAN-HATING
ANCESTORS, MOTHERFUCKER,
JUST TO SCARE
THE FUCK OUT OF US.
CHRISTIAN, IF I WANTED
TO BE FUCKING WITH YOU,
I WOULD BE FUCKING WITH YOU,
SON OF A BITCH!
Come help me out!
I need your help!
Please come down
here, dude!
OKAY, MOTHERFUCKER,
I'LL BE THERE. WHERE YOU AT?
I DON'T KNOW,
SOME FUCKING SHITTY PARK
NORTH OF A BORDER TOWN
BY BARRIO.
All right.
I'll be there, bro.
OKAY, JUST--
JUST FIND ME, DUDE.
FIND ME.
(sighs)
THIS MOTHERFUCKER WANTS US
TO GO PICK HIM UP.
HE'S AT A PARK OUTSIDE
THE BARRIO BORDER, MAN.
KNOW WHERE THAT IS?
(speaking
indistinctly)
LET'S GO, MAN.
MOTHERFUCKER THINKS
HE SAW EL MONSTRUO, ESE.
WHAT THE FUCK?
(laughs)
(speaking
indistinctly)
BEEN SMOKING
TOO MUCH CRACK, HOMEY.
(speaking
indistinctly)
RALE.
LET'S ROLL, DAWG.
OH, NO.
I LOST ANOTHER MEXICAN.
BEAU IS GONNA BE
SO MAD AT ME.
(hip-hop music playing)
(music stops)
OH, MY GOD, P.,
EL MONSTRUO'S GONNA GET US, P.!
EL MONSTRUO'S
GONNA GET US!
LISTEN,
SON OF A BITCH,
FOR AS MUCH
AS YOU'RE MY BROTHER,
I'LL STILL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU
KEEP MAKING FUN OF THAT SHIT.
I KNOW WHAT I SAW.
(speaking Spanish)
SO YOU BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE ME
AND STOP SHITTING AROUND.
YOU, TOO, P.
THERE'S A LO OF PEOPLE THERE,
AND THEY ALL NEED
OUR FUCKING HELP! OKAY?
SO STOP IT!
LET'S DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
OKAY, MAN. JUST TELL US
WHERE THE FUCK HE IS.
LET'S GO GET 'EM.
LET'S GO GET 'EM, ESE.
(strumming banjo)
(playing "Amazing Grace")
(both) AMAZING GRACE
HOW SWEET THE SOUND
THAT SAVED A WRETCH
LIKE ME
I ONCE WAS LOS BUT NOW AM FOUND
WAS BLIND
BUT NOW I SEE
DIDI?
DIDI?
DIDI.
DIDI.
(grunts)
DIDI. (moaning)
HEY! NO! DIDI.
(sobbing)
DIDI. DIDI.
DIDI! NO!
(screaming)
(sobbing)
REGGIE,
WHO DID THIS?
I DON'T KNOW,
BEAU.
I DON'T KNOW,
BEAU.
SHH.
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
IT'S OKAY.
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A MEXICAN
ON THE LOOSE, BOYS,
A VERY DEAD MEXICAN.
(both crying)
(screams)
DADDY,
DIDI'S DEAD.
(sighs)
(growling)
WE GOT A BREACH,
BUT I'M GONNA LOCK
THIS PLACE DOWN.
(screams)
(animal roars)
(Cal laughs)
REALLY, Y'ALL?
WE ALREADY GOT OUR FIRS "MEXICAN OF THE YEAR" AWARD,
HUH? CONGRATULATIONS.
SEE, THE ONLY PROBLEM
I GOT WITH THAT IS
NOW I'VE GOTTA PUT YOU
ON LOCKDOWN
WHILE WE HUN THAT MOTHERFUCKER DOWN.
(revolver cocks)
WE WILL HUNT HIM DOWN.
AND WHEN WE FIND HIM,
WE'RE GONNA GUT HIM
LIKE THE PIG HE IS.
(speaking Spanish)
(voices overlapping)
(man) NO, NO...
(speaking Spanish)
YOU LITTLE SHITS.
NO, NO.
OH, YOU--YOU ARE PRETTY,
YOU KNOW?
IT'S OKAY.
(speaking Spanish)
YOU SEE, I'M NOT LIKE
MY BROTHER BEAU.
I KNOW THAT A GOOD MEXICAN...
(revolver clicks)
NO. NO.
IT'S OKAY,
I WOULDN'T HURT YOU.
(crying)
(speaking indistinctly)
BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
(laughing)
BANG! BANG!
CRAZY FUCK.
HEY, WHERE YOU GOIN',
DAWG? HUH?
WHERE THE FUCK
YOU GOIN'?
AAH!
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU GOT AN AXE, HOMEY.
I GOT A BLADE, ESE.
YOU SHOULD BE ABLE
TO TAKE ME DOWN, NO?
WHAT THE FUCK YOU WAITING FOR?
(speaking indistinctly)
AAH! (grunts)
(speaking indistinctly)
SHOULD I KILL YOU
OR LET YOU BLEED OUT,
CABRN?
(animal growling)
(loud crack)
(indistinct conversation)
BOO!
SOMEBODY MISSED
OL' CAL.
YEAH. DID YOU REALIZE
YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG
MEXICANS, PUTO?
(laughs)
SEE, THE THING IS,
I LOVE MESSING
WITH THE WRONG MEXICANS.
SO ARE YOU GONNA SHOO OR JUST POINT THAT SHIT AT ME?
HUH?
HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE IT?
WELL, PUTO, YOU AND ME
HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?
WHAT'S THAT?
JUST LIKE YOU,
I HAVE A BROTHER.
A DEAD ONE.
HE'S A LOT SMARTER.
OKAY.
(gunshot)
AND HE'S STANDING
RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
THIS AIN'T OUR FIRST TIME
AT THE RODEO, FUCKER.
(Christian speaking
Spanish)
I'M GONNA KILL
ALL THESE MEXICANS.
I'M GONNA KILL
ALL OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!
(Beau sighs)
(man) SO IT SEEMS THE TABLES
HAVE TURNED, EH?
PUTO?
(laughs)
FUCK YOU.
NO, FUCK YOU.
LISTEN TO ME.
LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF.
I'M OSCAR, AND THAT THERE
IS MY BROTHER CHRISTIAN.
(laughs) CHRISTIAN?
OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH.
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I JUST NOTICED
THAT ME AND MY BRO HERE
MIGHT BE JUST A LITTLE BI MORE CRAZIER, YOU KNOW,
MORE LOCO THAN YOU.
(laughs) I DON'T THINK SO,
MOTHERFUCKER.
AND I AIN'T CRAZY.
I'M JUST AN AMERICAN HERO.
OH, AMERICAN HERO.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHUT THE FUCK UP, MOTHERFUCKER!
YOU KNOW, WE'RE
STILL TALKING, MAN.
AAH!
LISTEN TO HIM!
ME AND MY BROTHER
ARE IN A FUCKIN' DILEMMA.
YOU'VE CAUSED SO MUCH SHI TO MY FUCKIN' PEOPLE,
IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY.
IT'S NOT EVEN FAIR.
THERE'S NO PUNISHMEN I COULD DO TO YOU,
YOU LITTLE PIECE OF WHITE TRASH,
THAT WOULD EVEN COMPARE
TO WHAT YOU'VE DONE
TO MY PEOPLE.
HEY, HEY.
I'VE GOT A LITTLE ITCH
ON MY NOSE.
CAN YOU GET IT?
YEAH, SURE, MAN.
SO I'VE GOT THREE OPTIONS
FOR YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.
FIRST ONE IS I PUT A BULLE THROUGH YOUR FUCKIN' HEAD.
YOU'D LOVE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU?
IT'D BE QUICK AND EASY,
CALL IT A DAY.
BUT NO, MOTHERFUCKER.
THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU DESERVE,
YOU PIECE OF WHITE TRASH.
OPTION NUMBER TWO,
WE TORTURE THE FUCK OUT OF YOU,
MOTHERFUCKER.
(laughs)
WE MAKE NOT EVEN BE ABLE
TO WALK, TALK,
OR EVEN SEE RIGHT,
MOTHERFUCKER.
(groans)
IMAGINE YOURSELF LIKE THIS,
ALL CROSS-EYED AND SHIT.
THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH...
I GET SOME OF MY HOMEYS
IN HERE,
GIVE YOU A TASTE
OF YOUR OWN FUCKIN' MEDICINE,
YOU PIECE OF WHITE TRASH.
HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
(Oscar) THAT'S RIGHT.
OKAY, WELL...
(clears throat)
COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR
AND BRUSH SOME TEETH?
OR I GOT SOME GUM
IN BACK POCKET.
YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF THA DOG SHIT BREATH OF YOURS.
ALL RIGHT, BITCH.
Y'ALL KNOW
WHO MY DADDY IS?
YOU KNOW WHO
MY FUCKIN' DADDY IS?!
AAH!
I KNOW WHO
YOUR FUCKIN' DADDY IS.
(grunting)
I KNOW WHO HE IS.
HE'S EL MONSTRUO, NO?
OH, BY THE WAY, I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU KNOW OUR LITTLE NICKNAME.
ME AND HIM...
OH, YEAH,
THE BROTHERS COYOTE, HUH?
SURE,
I HEARD OF YOU.
THAT'S RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER.
BROTHERS COYOTE
FOR YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.
NOT ONLY ARE YOU GONNA DIE...
BUT YOU'RE ALSO GONNA SEE
YOUR DAD DIE, MOTHERFUCKER.
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA KILL
THAT SON OF A BITCH.
THAT'S RIGHT,
WE'RE GONNA KILL HIM.
THAT LEGEND IS GONE.
EL MONSTRUO'S OVER,
MOTHERFUCKER.
I'M DONE
WITH YOUR SHIT, PUTO.
YO, HOMEYS, GET IN HERE.
HAVE FUN, MOTHERFUCKER.
BRING IT,
HERMANOS COYOTES!
FUCKIN' BRING IT!
COME ON, LET'S GO!
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
(indistinct shouting)
WHOO!
HERMANOS COYOTES,
MOTHERFUCKER!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
GOD BLESS YOU!
(indistinct shouting)
(Oscar) EL MONSTRUO.
NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU,
FUCKER.
YOU KNOW YOU GOT I COMING TO YOU.
YEAH.
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES
A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED
MEXICAN STANDOFF, MOTHERFUCKER.
(laughs)
WHAT THE FUCK
YOU LAUGHING AT, PAYASO?
DON'T YOU KNOW BROWN
IS THE NEW RED, WHITE, AND BLUE?
PUTO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
(speaking Spanish)
LET'S GO, MOTHERFUCKER.
(rock music playing)
(gunshot)
I HOPE THIS SONG
WILL BE THE END
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THAT?
WHAT DO I THINK?
I THINK YOU'RE PEDRO.
AND I THINK YOU HAVE
OUR FUCKIN' DRUGS.
I THINK YOU
ARE MISTAKEN.
NOW I'M GONNA
ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME...
BRYAN, WHAT THE FUCK?
PEDRO, WHERE THE FUCK
ARE OUR DRUGS?
YOU KNOW,
TELLING ALL THESE STORIES
IS MAKING ME
HUNGRY AGAIN.
(Kyle) BRYAN, THIS GUY IS
OBVIOUSLY A FUCKING LUNATIC.
CAN WE PLEASE
JUST LEAVE?
NO, WE CAN'T LEAVE.
OKAY, WE CAME HERE FOR DRUGS.
I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT 'EM.
I WISH TIO WAS HERE
SO I COULD HAVE SOME
OF HIS DELICIOUS TACOS.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF YOU WANT TO STAY HERE
WITH THE CANNIBALISTIC
TACO GUY, BE MY GUEST.
I'M FUCKING LEAVING,
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU.
WAIT. I HAVE
ONE MORE STORY.
NO, FUCK YOU. OKAY? AND FUCK
YOUR STUPID FAIRY TALES.
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
FIVE SECONDS.
IF I DON'T HAVE
MY FUCKIN' DRUGS,
I'M GONNA PUT A HOLE
IN THAT BIG BROWN HEAD OF YOURS.
IT'S ABOUT TWO
YOUNG GENTLEMEN...
FIVE...
WHO SNUCK
INTO BARRIO COUNTRY...
FOUR...
AND WERE LOOKING
FOR DRUGS.
THREE...
PEDRO, HE'S NO FUCKING AROUND.
BRYAN,
PUT THE GUN AWAY.
THEY WERE LOOKING
FOR TROUBLE
IN ALL THE WRONG
PLACES.
TWO--BITCH, I WILL SHOOT YOU
OUT OF PRINCIPLE.
THEY WERE IN
OVER THEIR HEADS,
GOT CHOPPED UP
INTO TINY PIECES,
SERVED TO HOMELESS
MEXICANS.
ONE!
BANG!
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
HOMBRE?
YOU NEVER KILLED
ANYBODY BEFORE?
WHAT'S SO FUCKIN'
FUNNY, MAN?
(laughing)
ME NEITHER.
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO MY FRIEND PEDRO.
HOLA, AMIGO.
(laughing)
(speaking indistinctly)
(screaming)
WELCOME TO BARRIO,
AMIGOS.
(cell phone ringing)
I HAVE TO TAKE THIS.
HOLA. THIS IS PEDRO.
YES, I HAVE ECSTASY.
OF COURSE I HAVE ECSTASY.
COCAINE, MARIJUANA.
I GOT IT ALL.
YOU KNOW WHERE BARRIO IS?
(film projector clicking)
(rock music playing)
I'M A BIG BAD HAWK
I LIKE TO FLY IN THE DARK
I'M A BIG BAD HAWK
I'M LEAVIN'
BUH BUH-BUH BUH
BUH-BUH
B-B-BIG BAD WOLF
JUST ROAMIN' AROUND
B-B-BIG BAD WOLF
SAYING HI TO THE GROUND
(snarls)
DON'T STEP ON THE ROCKS
YOU'RE MAKIN'
TOO MUCH NOISE
THERE'S MRS. SMITH'S SONS
THEY'RE WILD BOYS
YOU GONNA COME AROUND HERE
(howls)