Battersea (2024) Movie Script
[Meteorologist] All right.
Good morning, everybody.
Phil Parma here in the
Lake Erie Weather Office.
(toaster plunges)
For your Friday, we're
starting at 46 degrees
and tracking to hit 54 by midday.
Enjoy these last few days of fall
because before you know it,
we'll be debuting our
winter weather outlook.
(refrigerator opens)
So how do we come up with these
outlooks? How's it changed?
What do we look at specifically
around the world when deriving
what's going to happen over
the spring... (chuckles)
Spring? I wish it was spring,
over the fall and winter months...
(birds chirping)
(door creaks)
(footsteps pattering)
(truck door opens)
(truck door slams)
(truck engine rumbles)
I am the dotted line
And you fill me in
with whatever you like
I am just going through the motions
And I need an old fashioned potion
There's gotta be some old recipe
'Cause I gotta get drunk
I gotta forget about some things
I lived in lies all my life
And I've been living here
for a long, long time
And I know it's been
coming down a while now
When it shows, then
you get me on the dial
But right now you're
halfway around the world
And maybe I'll see better days
But I'm not so sure I will
I'm still hanging 'round and 'round
Sometimes it's a racket,
but lately not a sound
In the bowels of history and time
Well, I have learned to
stay back and never shine
Now I feel stupid when I smile
For not a journey, a
circus are our lives
I can't make up for everything I waste
And I know that I could
never afford a taste
Of anything that your
lovely hands make
It eats away with a force so great
Just 'cause it brings
a smile to my face
Such a bad memory,
you just can't erase
I know of a city to steal from
(ignition clicks)
(seat belt clicks)
(car door opens)
(chickens clucking)
(car door slams)
(footsteps pattering)
(knocking)
(knocking)
(doorknob rattles)
(cell phone ringing)
[Les] Hey, it's Les.
You know what to do.
(voicemail beeps)
(sighs)
(chuckles)
(footsteps pattering)
(latch snaps open)
(gate clatters shut)
(gate creaks)
(footsteps pattering)
(key rattles)
(door opens)
(door closes)
(light switch clicks)
(footsteps pattering)
(piano keys chime)
(stairs creaking)
(light switch clicks)
(light switch clicks)
(light switch clicks)
(light switch clicks)
(light switch clicks)
(photographs rustle)
(drawings rustle)
(birds chirping)
(dogs barking)
(distant rock music)
(gravel crunching)
(loud rock music)
(loud gravel crunching)
(truck door opens)
Hey.
I thought you said 8:00 or 9:00?
Yeah, I just made good time.
You gonna hit those lights?
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
(light switch clicks)
I tried calling.
You did?
(truck door slams)
Oh, I'm sorry. I must have missed it.
[Lou] I'm not surprised.
You're gonna go deaf.
(Les clears throats)
Uh, how'd you... how'd you get in?
The key in the barn.
I forgot that was out there.
Um... you been waiting long?
No, I just got here
like... 10 minutes ago.
- Drive was all right?
- Yeah, it was fine.
[Les] Good.
[Lou] How was work?
Ah. Good.
Good. (Chuckles)
Good.
(both laugh)
Uh. Actually, I'm dragging
ass. You want some coffee?
[Lou] Sure, I'd take some.
(truck door opens)
(truck door slams)
What's going on?
Range Rover in the shop?
[Lou] Range Rover?
(Les chuckles)
What happened to that, uh, old Pontiac?
[Lou] Bonnie?
Yeah, yeah, Bonnie. Thank you.
(door rattles)
[Lou] Yeah, I had to let her go.
When?
College. I held on
as long as I could, but
one day she caught fire on
the Penn Lincoln Parkway.
[Les] Caught fire?
[Lou] Yeah, like inferno.
(chuckles)
[Les] Damn.
Have you been staying here?
Uh... yeah, if I'm like here
working late or whatever.
I had to come let the
plumber in last night.
There something wrong with the pipes?
Um... inspector found
some valve needed replaced.
It's no biggie.
You mind if I just nuke this?
Oh yeah, sure.
(microwave door slams)
(microwave humming)
(footsteps pattering)
(light switch clicks)
Sorry.
(light switch clicks)
I must have turned on
every light in the house.
[Les] I'll send ya the bill.
(microwave beeps)
How you take it?
Black is fine.
(mugs clink)
So... (awkward chuckle)
It's all pretty much like I remember it.
(chuckles) Oh yeah,
nothing changes around here.
Well, I mean, except for you.
What do ya got going on here?
(chuckles) Yeah, not a fan?
Oh, no, no. It's just
you look... like...
[Les] Shitty?
Older. Wiser.
Yeah. Liar.
No good?
Oh, no, no, it's fine.
Oh, I got some sugar
here somewhere, I'm sure.
(cupboards creaking)
We appear to be out of sugar.
Really, it's fine. See, look.
(lips smack) Ahh.
(Les chuckles)
You know, I think I
actually prefer bad coffee.
Ever the contrarian.
No, it's, uh... I just
dated this girl for a while.
Huge coffee snob. Like
she could stick her nose
in a bag of beans and
guess the weather in Peru.
Suddenly I'm ordering $60 bags,
I can't go anywhere without a percolator.
You know, there's nothing
wrong with having good taste.
Eh. I mean you take something simple
that's supposed to make ya happy
and you whittle away at it,
find a million reasons why it's not quite
as good as it could be.
It's just coffee, man.
(chuckles)
Exactly.
So it didn't... didn't work out?
- What's that?
- With the coffee girl?
Oh. Oh, um.
(chuckles) No. No, it did not.
[Lou] How long were you two together?
(deep inhale) Uh, not long.
How's Roger?
He's good.
Yeah, he a... he a doctor yet?
(chuckles) Um. Almost.
He's finishing up residency.
Yeah? Nice.
It was real good of him
to come to the funeral.
Seems like a... like a good dude.
[Lou] Yeah, I think you
two would get along actually.
Yeah, yeah, it's a
shame we couldn't have
grabbed a drink after or something.
Yeah, I mean, like I said, we just had
to jet back for this...
- Yeah.
Oh, you missed Cory taking a swing at Phil
for eating the last deviled egg.
It's just probably better
if Roger never meets the
extended family, huh?
Probably.
I was surprised Aunt Patty didn't show.
Yeah, you know, she felt bad,
but she hasn't left
Pittsburgh since the '90s.
If it involves a highway or a plane...
Geez, I didn't know that.
Yeah, she says the only exception
that she'll make is if I
need a good kick in the ass.
(chuckles) Tough cookie, huh?
Eh. I mean, maybe when I was a teenager,
but I probably needed it back then.
True.
Anyway, she is a softy... deep down.
She bawled when I left for grad school.
(chuckles) She was that happy, huh?
Yeah.
Hey! (Smacks countertop)
I've got some firewood out back.
You wanna light it up?
Crack a couple brews? Chillax?
Uh, sure, yeah. I'm just gonna,
I might grab a shower
first if that's all right.
Please, yeah. Tu casa.
Oh, I um... I put a towel
on the bed for you.
Thanks.
Just...
(beer cracks)
(gentle piano)
(fire crackling)
(gentle piano continues)
(gentle piano ends)
(footsteps pattering)
Whatcha got?
It's for you.
It's from a distillery by my house.
Awesome. Thank you.
I haven't tried it yet,
but I hear good things.
Let's see what we got here.
(cork pops)
(clears throat) Yep, that'll do it.
The first time I got
drunk was off whiskey
straight from the bottle.
(Les chuckles)
Mm.
I was in the parking
lot of the state fair,
right before I got on
the pirate ship ride.
And I still can't eat funnel cake.
My first time was in
Trevor McCormick's basement.
We all like, siphoned
from our parents' stashes,
scotch, tequila, Sambuca, whatever.
We put 'em in a water bottle, shake it up,
and that's what we drank.
Ugh.
Yeah.
Plus his mom, she'd, uh,
order from the Schwan man.
Remember the Schwan man?
- Hell yeah.
- Yeah.
So we'd get shitfaced
and eat like 20 pounds
of potato skins and Swedish meatballs.
- Ugh, glory days.
- Mm-hmm.
Found your stuff?
Yep.
Anything worth keeping?
Just let me know if
you need more kindling.
Yeah.
She kind of turned into a hoarder.
I was finding dad's stuff tucked in
closets and bottom drawers.
What did you do with all of it?
Um, donated most of it.
Put some things on Craigslist.
(car engine rumbling)
(upbeat music)
I ordered a pizza.
Nice.
Shit.
- I got it.
- No, no, no, wait, wait.
I got it, I got it.
- Don't worry about it.
(door opens)
(upbeat music continues)
Hi, how you doing?
Lou?
Kenny.
What are you doing here?
Uh, Les sold the house.
So I'm just, you know,
going through some stuff
and signing a couple things.
I'm sorry to hear what
happened to your mom.
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
But how... how are you?
How's your brother doing?
We're good. We're good.
Good.
I got like three other
deliveries to make.
Yeah.
It's $18.
(cash rustles)
- Keep the change.
- Appreciate that.
Tell everybody I said, "Hi."
Will do.
(door slams)
(upbeat music ends)
(footsteps pattering)
[Lou] You'll never believe who that was.
It was Kenny Miller.
(chuckles) No shit.
Yeah, I'm not even in town
for 10 minutes and already...
(cork pops)
Wait, you mean I should
cancel the welcome home party?
(clicks tongue) Ugh!
Hilarious.
(whiskey pouring)
(cork squeaks)
(mugs clink)
Hey man, imagine still living here.
I'm bumping into ghosts left and right.
It's so weird seeing him all grown up.
He looks just like Doug.
How is he doing?
Oh, um... so you don't know?
He OD'd. About two or three years ago.
(Lou scoffs)
What? I just...
I just asked Kenny how he was doing
and he said he was good.
He's probably sick of talking about it.
Fuck. (Deep sigh)
God, I feel like such an asshole.
I just assumed that he'd straighten up,
maybe even get out of here.
Harder than it looks.
I know. I...
He was a fuck up,
but he was like... a lovable fuck up.
Yeah.
(crickets chirping)
(fire crackling)
(soft chuckle) I...
I remember this one night,
his sister was going on a date
and he thought it'd be
funny if we showed up
at the same movie.
(Les chuckles)
We're not even through the previews yet
and Lover Boy just starts
putting the moves on her.
So Doug waited until the lights went down
and then (chuckles) he
started pelting them
with Sour Patch Kids.
(both chuckle)
They're like looking around in the dark.
They can't really figure it out.
So every time they would
turn back to the screen, bam,
Sour Patch Kid to the back of the head.
Fucking bullies, man.
Yeah, finally they just got up and left
and that's when they saw us and...
Ah, she was upset.
Lover Boy was super pissed.
We feel bad and so
we... we chase after them,
and as soon as we get into
the lobby, mid apology,
the little fucker turns
and pops Doug in the eye,
and Doug doesn't even have a chance
to think before he pushes
him, like hard. (Chuckles)
And the kid, oh my god, the
kid goes flying backwards.
He crashes through the glass door,
he's sprawled out on the sidewalk.
Doug looks around, confused for a sec.
There's snow blowing into the
lobby, neon lights flashing,
his sister screaming,
and he just... he looked at me
and he just started laughing.
[Les] Laughing?
Yeah, like a
like a sad, tired laugh.
Like he couldn't believe
that he had done it again.
(distant train whistle blowing)
[Les] The kid was all right though?
Yep, we all just sat on the curb
and waited for the cops to come.
Damn.
That would've been a hell of a eulogy.
I mean, maybe I have it backwards.
[Les] What's that?
The laugh.
Maybe it was like he could believe it.
Like he expected it.
Expected what?
I guess problems. Like
the whole family really.
It was just one bad thing after another.
Seems like Kenny's doing all right.
Kenny delivers pizza.
So?
Look, maybe Doug got dealt a shitty hand,
but he made a lot of bad choices too.
I mean, hey, look at you.
On paper, you and him are the same person,
and yet here you are, world by the tail.
I don't really know about that.
Are you kidding me?
You've got like two degrees.
Roger seems like a peach,
you're a big shot museum... person.
[Lou] Curator.
Exactly.
Well, technically I
assist the curator, so.
[Les] Even better. Less responsibility.
- Yeah.
- What?
[Lou] (chuckles) Nothing.
No, what?
I mean, I really like what I do.
Like I worked... I worked really hard
to get on this trajectory and...
But?
I don't know, the closer you get
to the one thing you always
wanted, the more it starts
to seem just like... one thing.
[Les] So quit.
(scoffs) And then what?
I don't know.
What would you do if
you could do anything?
God, I... I don't know.
Not what you're imagining,
like nothing exciting.
Humor me.
It's stupid but sometimes I... I daydream
about bagging groceries
or like walking dogs.
Just something... simple.
I found Rufio's old
leash in the basement.
Have at it.
Ah! Rufio!
(Les chuckles)
I was never happier than
when I was trotting around
with that little dude.
In another life, dog walker, for sure.
It's not too late.
Yeah, that's the thing,
like it is too late.
I can just feel all of the doors closing.
And every year, you
get a little more money
and a little more vacation time...
I don't know, part of
me finds that comforting.
What?
All the doors closing.
You know, all this worrying about arcs
and angles of ascent
and what we could or should be doing.
Just, I think I'm done with it, man.
Does that mean you're gonna
work at Steve's Meat Market
for just the rest of your life?
(chuckles) Are you not impressed?
(chuckles) I just...
I mean... I mean like whatever
happened to culinary school?
Ugh. Um...
Just... wasn't my thing.
[Lou] What about it?
Everything. The whole... enchilada.
(laughs) Shit, I don't know, um...
You realize pretty
quickly that no graduates
of the Le Cordon Bleu Institute
of Youngstown are going on
to illustrious cooking careers.
Best case scenario, you end up
on a garnish station
somewhere sprinkling parsley
on reheated minestrone.
Which you definitely
don't need a degree for.
So I dropped out,
sprinkled parsley for as
long as I could stand it...
How long was that?
A couple years.
A couple of years?
What did you think, you were gonna blink
and win a Michelin Star?
[Les] No, but...
Because my first year at
the museum, all I did was sit
in a tiny cold cubicle and lick stamps.
(Les chuckles)
You do that for a while
and then eventually you get
to do something slightly
less soul sucking,
and you keep doing that,
and then one day you are just...
You find yourself in your corner office
wishing you were walking dogs?
I said I'm the assistant.
I don't have a corner office.
Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
I don't know.
And then I was in Steve's one afternoon,
buying a ribeye,
and I'm watching him
break down the forequarter
piece by piece like a machine, you know,
like this series of complex
cuts he knows so well
that he's doing it with
his eyes half closed.
I mean, he's like singing
along to the radio, you know.
And it clicked.
Maybe work doesn't have to be meaningful.
Maybe it shouldn't be.
Made me think of this Maya
Angelou interview I read once.
She was talking about
how she always keeps a
deck of cards next to her
when she's writing.
She keeps a game of
solitaire going on the side
to keep what she calls
the "small mind" busy
while she uses the "big mind" to write.
And I thought, that's the answer.
Small work that doesn't worry the big.
I asked Steve right then and there
if he could use an extra cleaver.
And now I play solitaire
for 40 hours a week
and I get to keep the
important stuff right here.
You read Maya Angelou.
(Les chuckles)
Don't fuck with me. I read.
Yeah, well I... I get what she is saying,
but what's the point of
protecting the big mind
if you just keep it all yourself?
Like Maya had something she needed to say.
We know why the caged bird sings.
But if your culinary genius
is so important, don't you
kind of feel some
responsibility to share it?
What, you only paint for an audience?
(chuckles) No.
Well, there you go.
[Lou] No. (Corks pops)
I mean, I don't paint.
What? Why?
(whiskey pouring)
(cork squeaks)
Wasn't good enough.
[Les] Good enough for who?
For myself.
And people who like good art.
What are you talking about?
You were great.
Best painter in Mr. Chaffin's art class.
(Les chuckles)
[Les] Hey, I'm sure every great painter
was the best painter in
their high school art class.
Yeah, but mine was taught by
the JV basketball coach, so.
And he didn't instill in
you a love for the game?
But I mean, that's the thing
about being a middling artist.
You're not really bad
enough for it to be fun
and also not good enough
for it to be rewarding.
Cynic.
Still seems kind of sad though.
What does?
You, spending all your
time on someone else's art.
How is it different from an
ex-chef curating cold cuts?
We just got this exhibit,
this surrealist from Norway,
and she does these super
dense oil based portraits.
They're like 3D, the paint is on so thick.
And they are beautiful and strange
and... very unsettling.
It's like they shape shift
right in front of you,
like there's... there's every
face in every portrait.
And she's 14.
When I was 14, I was painting sailboats.
Hey, I loved your sailboats.
[Lou] Thank you.
Plus, I mean, how much do
you have to fuck up your kid
to turn them into a
creepy picture prodigy?
Well, her dad did murder her mom.
(Les chuckles)
[Les] Wait, really?
(Lou laughs)
God.
Uh, well, in that case, I hope you
and Roger have very
mediocre, very happy children
that go to public schools and
paint all sorts of watercraft.
I am not sure that that's in the cards.
- Public school?
- Yuck.
You don't want kids?
He wants them.
[Les] And you?
I'm less enthusiastic.
(Les chuckles)
[Les] How come?
How come? Why, do you want them?
No. I don't know.
I just wanna know why you don't want them.
I can think of like a hundred reasons.
I mean... (deep sigh)
I'm afraid of losing my identity.
I'm afraid of being a bad mother.
I'm scared of the constant heartbreak.
I also have to acknowledge the fact
that I didn't really like, enjoy
my own childhood that much.
But not Roger... he, uh, he
grew up in a Sears catalog.
[Les] (chuckles) His
family pretty close?
His best friend is his mom
and his second best friend is his brother.
Hey, at least you have that in common.
I just don't think he really considers
how easily things can derail.
Like, the dumb luck it
takes to emerge unscathed.
No family's perfect.
They're not all fucked up either.
So, what, it's just dumb luck?
I...
You don't bear any
kind of responsibility?
We, I mean.
(nervous chuckle) Not always.
Yeah.
What I keep coming back
to is, I'm like you,
I can come up with a million
very rational arguments
for not having kids,
but there is one reason for having them
that kind of makes sense to me.
Don't say it's so you can have someone
to take care of you when you're old,
because like that's just...
- Boredom.
Sorry, boredom?
Yeah.
You gotta buy a mountain
bike. You should go to Mumbai.
(chuckles) Please,
every new parent I know
has a mountain bike.
They keep it buried in
the back of their garage.
I think eventually you
just get tired of trying
to find meaningful ways
to spend your time.
So you wanna have a kid
so that you can know
how to fill a Saturday?
(sighs) Yeah, maybe.
Oh my god.
(chuckles) I'm just
saying, like, I can see it.
You know, ya get married,
ya settle into a job,
and then all of a sudden
there are no more interesting
problems to solve,
so you just... create one.
What was the name of that youth pastor?
The guy from the Methodist church?
Um. Evan. Evan something.
Yeah, okay.
Well, yeah, he used to say
this thing all the time
about how we all have a
God-shaped hole in our hearts.
[Les] Terrifying.
Except you're saying the same thing,
but that it's kid-shaped.
I mean, of course he did end up sleeping
with the choir director,
which got him kicked out of the church.
I ran into him a few years later,
and he was, uh, stocking
shelves at Food World,
and I was buying cookies (laughs)
Which I think actually does,
that somehow makes it sadder.
Anyway, I agree, there's this like,
but I think it's impossible
to know how to fill it.
Like you can try, but
I think it's shapeless,
and if you think that God is gonna fill it
or a kid, or whatever, just, you know,
cooking, painting
the next thing you know
you're fuck in the organist.
You know what?
I can't stop thinking about cookies now.
[Lou] Yeah, me neither.
Yeah, there's a cookie-shaped
hole in my stomach.
(both laugh)
[Lou] Just a thought,
but what time does Food World close?
Oh, uh, about five years ago.
No.
Yeah, Food World is Whole Foods now.
[Lou] God, that sucks.
Is nothing sacred?
[Les] Afraid not.
[Lou] Okay, well I'm
gonna head out then.
This has been fun.
[Les] Take your shit with you. (Laughs)
(crickets chirping)
(fire crackling)
(birds chirping)
(covers rustling)
(soft piano)
(cupboards creaking)
(soft piano continues)
(faucet running)
(soft piano ends)
(door opens and closes)
(footsteps pattering)
- [Les] Hey.
- Hey.
What's all this?
The prodigal daughter has returned.
Pour the wine, slaughter
the fattened calf.
[Lou] You didn't have to...
Ah, perk of the job.
All the meat you can eat.
Still.
- You slept in, huh?
- Yeah.
Here.
(pill bottle rattles)
Thanks.
[Les] Oh, shit.
What?
I forgot the fricking lemons.
Make it without lemons.
[Les] I can't, I gotta go back.
I can go.
Yeah?
No, I have my rendezvous
with the lawyer, I can...
Well, I was thinking
about doing a lap anyway,
see what else has closed.
Sure. Okay, thanks.
[Lou] Well, then I
will be back in a bit.
(bus whooshing)
(car door opens)
(car door slams)
[Secretary] Did you ask your dad?
Well, ask him.
(computer keys clacking)
I don't know, Aria. I'm at work, okay?
You can't call me every 20 minutes.
(office door closes)
All right, bye-bye.
(phone clicks)
(computer keys clacking)
Loullen?
(grocery store muzak)
(carts rolling)
[Lou] Hey, babe.
Did the paperwork and
now I'm getting lemons.
Les is cooking dinner. Yeah.
Yeah, how was work?
That's good.
You won't believe it, I stayed up
until like, well we did, 3:00 AM.
Yeah, I'm so tired. (Chuckles)
Thank you.
Yeah, we drank like the whole
bottle of whiskey, I think.
Oh, you know, it all tastes
like hair spray to me, so.
Oh, um. Yeah, fine. Good.
We just kind of caught up a bit.
Yeah, I think so.
Uh, no, not yet.
I should actually get these to Les.
Okay, yeah, love you.
Kenny. I'm so sorry, man.
I didn't... I didn't know.
Yeah.
I would've come to the service,
but I don't really talk
to anybody around...
I get it. I get it.
Is that your girlfriend?
Wife.
No shit.
How long have you guys been together?
Three years.
Yeah, we uh... we actually had a wedding
and a funeral in the same month.
He just... he couldn't kick it?
It's not that easy for some people.
No, I know...
It was even harder after you split.
It's just... Sorry.
- Um, you know I...
- I should probably
get her to work.
Oh yeah, okay.
See you around, Lou.
See ya.
[Kenny] Come on.
(upbeat music)
[Lou] Smells good in here.
[Les] Lou, you say something?
Yeah, I said it smells
good in here. Good lord.
(Les chuckles)
Hope you're hungry.
We have, uh, con fit
spring onions, potatoes
with black garlic butter,
this carrot mole thing,
and, uh, lamb in the oven.
This is very impressive.
Thank you.
Oh.
And lemon curd for dessert. Thank you.
Should I...?
Yeah, um, set the table
please, if you don't mind.
Yeah.
Do we need bowls or...?
Nah.
Oh, how did it go with Coleman?
- Who?
- The lawyer.
Oh, uh. Yeah, fine. Good.
[Les] Good.
Guess you'll be getting
a check in a few weeks.
[Lou] Yeah, I... I really don't want it.
(oven beeps)
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
It's blood money. It makes
me uncomfortable too, but...
No, I mean, I think
you should get it all.
(Les chuckles)
Like, I don't mean to be a dick,
but Roger's parents are doctors.
There's a house in the
Hamptons. Trust funds.
We just... we have like, such easy lives.
To an easy life.
I just don't need it.
Are you saying I do?
No, I'm saying that
maybe you deserve it.
You could go back to school,
maybe get out of Ohio.
Lou, it's not about who
needs it or deserves it.
It's about what she wanted.
Yeah.
(phone vibrates)
Fuck.
(phone vibrates)
What's that?
(sighs) Fucking Craigslist guy.
He's interested in buying a chair.
He thinks I'm a fucking idiot.
He's playing a dangerous game.
Does he know that danger
is your middle name?
(Les chuckles)
He does now. Let's eat.
(mellow music)
How is it?
Mmm.
Really good.
- Yeah?
- Mhmm.
Not like, undercooked or anything?
I like a little blood.
And the, uh, potatoes?
(chuckles) The potatoes,
um... they're perfect.
Yeah, everything's perfect.
Good, good.
You know these old ovens, man,
you're just guessing at a temperature.
(both awkwardly chuckle)
You ever have Merguez?
Mer what?
(chuckles) Merguez.
It's a, uh, type of lamb sausage.
We make it for this
Algerian guy that comes in.
Harissa, a bunch of spices,
I can't get enough of it.
I almost brought that instead.
I don't really do sausage.
Hmm. Why not?
You've never read "The Jungle"?
(chuckles) We're slightly
more sophisticated now.
I mean, sausage,
as far as I know, it's
still, uh, ground up meat
stuffed into intestines, so.
I did say slightly.
I don't know, that's kind
of what makes this stuff so interesting.
You know, just how unsophisticated it is.
Primal.
Like sure, we're using
napkins and silverware,
but we still want to taste a little blood.
Like you're right, we are
basically making sausage
the same way we did 4,000 years ago.
But what's crazy about that
is that there are records
of all these different civilizations
from all around the world,
Sumerians, Amazonians, whatever,
and they all figured out this trick
with the intestines at the same time.
I mean, like, what does that mean?
Everybody snapping the same puzzle piece
into place simultaneously?
It's like some kind of
gastronomic, collective
consciousness or something.
(Les chuckles)
I could talk about this all day.
Uh, but I won't. I will not do that.
Sorry, sorry.
It's just I... I ran
into Kenny at the store,
and I do not think that
he likes me. (Chuckles)
Hey, how's his brother doing?
(Les chuckles)
Sorry. What did he say?
Oh, you know.
"Fancy seeing you again.
I hope you're enjoying your visit.
You killed my brother."
[Les] He said that?
Like more or less, yeah.
Geez.
[Lou] I mean, it's his brother.
Why wasn't he looking after him?
How do you know he wasn't?
I guess I don't.
But... I don't know.
I'm not gonna take the rap for that.
I was good to Doug and
that's more than you can say
for his shitty-ass parents.
What was their deal?
Well, his mom got her
foot run over at work,
and then she took off
with the injury lawyer.
You know that guy from those
terrible, corny commercials?
Oh god. Not that Frasier-looking fucker?
[Lou] Yeah, exactly.
"There's no way they won't pay."
Yeah. Fucking guy.
And then his dad started dating some girl
that was like a few years older than me,
and he wouldn't come around
for like weeks sometimes.
So it was me and Doug getting
Kenny and Tay to school,
making sure that they ate.
So domestic.
Yeah, we were also
getting loaded every day,
which, you know, in
hindsight... it's not, like...
I don't know.
I mean the only way we
were gonna get better is
if one of us left and Doug couldn't, so.
What, I gotta stay here and die too?
Sorry, that...
Like when things got rough with
Doug, I actually called mom
and asked her if I could come home.
Really?
Yeah, she told me to call Patty.
Hm.
Yeah, she kept it all real hush hush.
For a while, people would say
they saw you here or there
and then... nothin.
(wine pouring)
I remember this one time, mom
and I were driving somewhere
down in the valley, and
we saw you heading back
behind those abandoned warehouses
across the railroad tracks.
You were flying down this
gravel road, kicking up dust,
but Bonnie was unmistakable.
And we both saw the other see it was you.
I remember waiting for mom
to whip the car around,
give chase, bust some heads,
but instead she just sorta
looked over at me, said, "That's not her."
And somehow I knew to just play along,
and said, "Yeah, that car looks blue."
Just bandying the lie back and forth.
There was a lot of that going on.
Huh.
Abandoned warehouse?
Other side of the tracks?
It's pretty cliche, huh?
(Les chuckles)
You remember Chad? Bettinger?
Dude I played ball with,
he went to Lakeside.
He was a couple years
older than me. Good dude.
He'd drive me to practice,
bring me to parties,
that kind of shit.
I think he just knew about
dad and kind of felt bad.
Anyway, um, he graduates, joins
the Marines, we lose touch.
Then, about a year ago, I see his face
on the front page of the paper.
He was driving home from the bar, drunk,
and he hit this couple on a
motorcycle, killed them both.
Pleads guilty, gets 24 years.
His life is basically over.
Bad choices?
You know how many times
I've driven on Route 20,
late at night, after maybe one too many?
Bad choices, yeah. But shit luck too.
Heads it's Chad, tails it's me.
Heads it's Doug, tails it's you.
Oh, you mean Chad, the baseball player?
Like the golden boy?
(chuckles) Yeah.
The last thing they
mentioned in the article is
that he still holds three state records.
Well if that's not a Springsteen song.
(Les chuckles)
I come from down the valley
That was kind of good.
(both laugh)
And then this... this
other thing happened,
this crazy thing, right
after I found out about Chad.
Man, I totally forgot about this.
[Lou] Yeah?
This huge storm had just
rolled through, right?
And so I went for a walk
to try to clear my head...
(phone vibrates)
And, uh... I was in the
park, down by the river,
and there's that... that
row of walnut trees,
you know, those massive trees, and...
(phone vibrates)
God!
[Lou] Chair guy?
Um. Lemme take this.
[Lou] Don't let him low ball ya.
[Les] Yeah.
Uh-huh.
(mellow music clicks off)
Okay.
Um. We will have to talk tomorrow.
Okay, all right. Yep, I understand.
(sighs) Yes, we will talk tomorrow.
All right, bye.
Tomorrow, that is so smart.
You gotta make him sweat.
(Les snickers)
You renounced the inheritance?
Coleman said you... what, you
just weren't gonna tell me?
I was... I was trying to tell you.
Uh, when?
I could've tried harder.
And obviously I was gonna tell you, I...
Tell me what exactly?
I can't take it.
Why not?
[Lou] It's, it's...
Not enough room in your wallet?
You're feeling charitable? (Snickers)
It's not that simple.
It is that simple, Lou.
You're half the family, you get half.
Yeah. (Scoffs)
You wanna know what I think?
I think you think
that if you take it, you'll have to admit
that you've been wrong this whole time.
About what?
[Les] That you are somehow
not part of the family.
C'mon. What family?
Right. Exactly.
[Lou] That is not my fault.
I know.
Okay, so what do you want?
(scoffs) I want you to take the money
and shut up about it.
Nice.
And then I want you to
consider that you come
from a long, miraculously
unbroken line of people
that have survived droughts (Lou laughs)
And fucking world wars
so that you can fart around
with your little art friends.
And Lou, goddammit, I mean, you can leave,
(snickers) you can stop
talking to everybody,
but like it or not, man,
you're still family.
Like, when did we become the Corleones?
"The family, the family," like that...
Right. Funny.
Does that make you Fredo?
Yeah, I was asked to leave.
What choice did you give her?
I was homeless. There
were other options.
You were homeless for the 10 minutes
it took Doug to scoop you up.
Scooped up by Doug the drug dealer.
Thank god.
(Les scoffs)
What?
Nothing, just last night,
Doug was a lovable loser
and now he's Pablo Escobar.
He's dead, isn't he?
Let me ask you something.
(Les sighs)
You don't think she was a
little quick on the trigger?
What? Kicking you out?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I know I couldn't stand to
be in the same house as you.
(scoffs) It was six months aft...
He was my dad too, Lou. (Snickers)
I wasn't trying to pull
the roof down on top of us.
Yeah, but it different for me.
If you're saying it was harder.
I am saying that it was different,
so kicking me out then,
that was the worst thing
at the worst time...
Was it?
A couple months in pill head heaven
and then off to private school?
- I didn't want...
- Which she paid for,
by the way.
Oh! Oh, you thought that
came outta Patty's pocket?
(Les snickers)
What, you keep the books too?
It's the difference between cooking
in San Francisco and Sandusky.
Well, fuck, Les, do you
want the money or not?
It's too late, man.
Everything has already happened.
So now I'm just... I'm gonna
get blamed for everything?
No!
No, I do not blame you for leaving.
But never coming back is a
fucked up way to punish people.
That is not what I was doing.
[Les] I mean, I know it's not Montauk.
Oh fuck you. Yeah, you know what?
I'm not gonna take the money
because that would mean
that I'm a part of the family,
which is something I
have almost never felt.
There it is.
There it is! It's true!
[Les] If it's true, it's
because you made it true!
Fuck this!
You know, and all this
bullshit about the will,
it's just your way of saying,
"Here, you take care of it."
It's your fucking favorite sentence!
And you know what? I don't
give a fuck anymore, okay?
I will take care of it,
just like how I took care of our mom,
and the funeral, and selling the house.
She's not my mom.
What?
She's not my mom, not on paper.
(scoffs) What are you talking about?
Patty adopted me.
- Adopted you?
- Yeah.
(Les scoffs)
So what? That's like
your little final fuck you?
Ditching the surname?
- No.
This was 30 years ago.
(Les scoffs)
Wait, um. I don't get it.
(distant dogs barking)
Supposedly, she had all of
these postpartum problems.
So she and dad asked Patty
to look after me till she got better.
And a couple of weeks turned
into a couple of months,
and after a year, they
finally just asked Patty
to adopt me, which...
Wait, so she was sick
or depressed? What?
I don't know.
[Les] You just said there
were postpartum problems.
I said "supposedly."
Well, what does that mean?
It means that...
I mean, maybe she was 23
and didn't really wanna have a kid.
But you did come back.
Yeah, after two years, her
maternal instincts kick in,
she wants to be a family again.
So they agree on a date in late January,
after Les is born.
(cigarette pack rustling)
How long have you known?
A while.
After I showed up at Patty's, again,
she was so pissed at mom,
she didn't really care
about keeping the lie going.
Can I have one?
(cigarette pack rustling)
(distant train whistle blowing)
So that's... that's why
you never came back?
(scoffs) No. What bothered me was
was thinking about dad,
and how he was so sweet to me,
like he owed me something.
But with mom, it was... it was clear even
when I was a kid that
she had given up trying
to force something that she couldn't feel.
Especially watching her
love you so unambiguously.
And it's fine. It's fine.
That's... that's what I'm saying.
It was a relief to know that
it was fucked from the jump.
That we were always
gonna end up strangers.
Clearly she agreed.
That's why she never called,
she never sent a birthday card.
It was just easier for both of us
to pretend that none of
this had ever happened.
So...
So when you sit here
and you try to convince me
that I am a part of the family,
to claim my half,
you'll have to forgive me if I have
no idea what the fuck
you're talking about.
I need a drink.
(somber piano)
(crickets chirping)
(somber piano ends)
(footsteps pattering)
You're wrong
about her not caring
that you never came back.
I mean maybe she was too
proud to admit it, but...
She wasn't perfect,
but she deserved better too.
(Lou sighs)
I know.
Uh... (sighs)
No. No, I don't think you do.
She was fucked up... about dad,
and then you,
and finally,
(scoffs) when she'd just
started to get back out there...
You don't know what it was like,
taking her to the hospital for chemo,
sitting in waiting rooms.
And when they took out her kidney,
when she was puking up every spoonful
I convinced her to eat.
And then at the end, when hospice left,
and it was just the two of us,
and she stopped getting out of bed,
stopped eating altogether,
stopped talking,
and all I could do was hold her hand
and crush up pain pills.
I had to mix them with water
and shoot them into her cheek
with this little turkey
baster looking thing.
She, uh... she couldn't swallow.
Half the time, I had to
like, hold her mouth shut
for a second so it didn't dribble out.
And the...
The apnea just kept
getting worse and worse.
The day before she died, she was
taking these really
labored breaths, you know,
and all of a sudden she'd stop breathing
for what felt like forever.
And I'd just be staring at her,
wanting both things, and,
and feeling guilty for
wanting both things.
And just when I thought that
was it, she'd gasp again,
this horrible gargled breathing sound
like something inside of her wanted out.
And that went on all
day and into the night.
And then
in the middle of the night, she shot up.
I mean, I didn't even know
she still had the strength
to do that, but, um... she did.
And she looked at me, wild-eyed,
and asked, "Should I be mad at you?"
And I... I mean I...
I didn't know what to say.
Like I actually had to
think about it for a second.
And I said, "No, no, I don't think so."
And she looked relieved, laid back down,
and that was the last
thing she said to me.
Next morning, the funeral
home was short-staffed,
so I had to ask the fucking
neighbors to come help me
and the funeral director
get her out of the house.
We had to roll her onto her
side and into a body bag
and carry her out, navigating stairs
and corners like... like she was
a piece of fucking furniture.
And I thought about you.
Where you were. What you were doing.
If you were sitting down
to dinner somewhere.
Maybe it was too late for you and her,
but I needed you.
I didn't know what the fuck I was doing.
(Les sighs)
After the funeral, I got really sick.
I think the stress
of those last few months
finally caught up to me,
and I was just decimated, you
know, in bed for two weeks,
half conscious, zonked out
on some of mom's Vicodin,
chasing it with Sudafed.
And I'm dreaming and
sweaty and confused and cold,
and the only thing that kept
me from pulling my hair out
was just the faint recognition
of a tomorrow or a next
week when it'd be over,
and I'd walk back into my normal life.
And I felt connected
to her, in a weird way,
drugged up and caught there in that place.
And then I thought about
what it would be like
to know that you'd never escape it.
That your last experience
of the world would be
fractured in that way,
and how terrifying that
must have been for her.
(Les groans)
I just wonder if I fucked up
by giving her all those pills.
If feeling the pain would've been better.
If it's always better.
(birds chirping)
(distant train whistle blowing)
(chicken clucking)
(sofa creaking)
(Les sighs)
(footsteps pattering)
(sad piano)
(sad piano ends)
(phone vibrates)
Hello?
Yeah, hey, what's up man?
Yeah, you... you want the, uh,
the sofa or just the chair?
Okay. Yeah, no, no, that sounds good.
Um, yeah. Half hour sounds good.
All right. All right,
I'll, uh, see ya in a bit.
All right, bye.
(door opens and closes)
Bacon, egg, and cheese.
My hero.
You hitting the road soon?
Yeah, I'll head out in a bit.
What are you doing?
I closed the deal on that chair.
Dude's picking it up around 10:00.
Figured I'd wrestle it outside for him.
Do you need some help?
- Oh, I wasn't fishing.
- No, I know.
Okay, yeah, sure. Thank you.
(soft piano)
(paper bag rustling)
(indistinct chatter)
[Lou] You know, I actually
don't think you finished,
uh, one of your stories.
[Les] Oh god, which one?
[Lou] No, no, no. After
you found out about Chad,
you said something crazy happened.
[Les] Oh, yeah.
(soft piano ends)
So the day I found out,
there was this huge storm,
branches down everywhere, power was out.
And after it rolled through,
I thought I'd go for a walk,
try to clear my head,
and I see this baby bird
got blown out of its nest.
One of its wings is bent behind its back,
covered by ants.
It's still chirping, kind of maniacally,
its little chest going up and down.
And I knew it was gonna die
and that I should put
it out of its misery,
but I just... just couldn't do it.
The butcher couldn't kill a bird?
(Les chuckles)
Yeah, I know.
I just kept picturing that couple
getting thrown off their motorcycle,
lying in the middle of
the road, all broken.
So, uh, anyway, then I start
knocking on people's doors
and asking for help,
and, of course, they're all just
looking at me like I'm crazy.
(Lou laughs)
And then I knock on this one door
and this woman says,
"Oh, you know, my cousin
rehabilitates birds."
And my first thought is,
oh, of course, here it is, proof that
everything happens according to some plan.
And I wasn't worried anymore about Chad
or that couple or anything really.
I was just looking at this woman
and I was just so fucking thankful.
So I said, "Can you call your cousin?"
And she says, "Oh, no,
honey, she lives in Florida."
(Les chuckles)
So I say, "Thanks," walk back to the bird,
pick up a heavy rock and...
For a second, I was positive
that the world made sense,
that you could rely on it
to make just a little bit of sense.
(birds chirping)
(wind blowing)
If I die young, then bury me in stones
Like a battle shrine,
I merely ever roam
And if I'm crying, come
and pour me a drink
Of that old wine, come
before it's too late
I filled my heart with
bones and burnt debris
'Til all looked on
and never really see
And if I'm lying, come
and pour me a drink
Ready my old pipe, and
call my fiddlers three
And If I'm cold, I can
count on you to bless me
Like some firebrand,
ready for your testing
And If I'm crying, come
and pour me a drink
Of that old wine, come
before it's too late
Good morning, everybody.
Phil Parma here in the
Lake Erie Weather Office.
(toaster plunges)
For your Friday, we're
starting at 46 degrees
and tracking to hit 54 by midday.
Enjoy these last few days of fall
because before you know it,
we'll be debuting our
winter weather outlook.
(refrigerator opens)
So how do we come up with these
outlooks? How's it changed?
What do we look at specifically
around the world when deriving
what's going to happen over
the spring... (chuckles)
Spring? I wish it was spring,
over the fall and winter months...
(birds chirping)
(door creaks)
(footsteps pattering)
(truck door opens)
(truck door slams)
(truck engine rumbles)
I am the dotted line
And you fill me in
with whatever you like
I am just going through the motions
And I need an old fashioned potion
There's gotta be some old recipe
'Cause I gotta get drunk
I gotta forget about some things
I lived in lies all my life
And I've been living here
for a long, long time
And I know it's been
coming down a while now
When it shows, then
you get me on the dial
But right now you're
halfway around the world
And maybe I'll see better days
But I'm not so sure I will
I'm still hanging 'round and 'round
Sometimes it's a racket,
but lately not a sound
In the bowels of history and time
Well, I have learned to
stay back and never shine
Now I feel stupid when I smile
For not a journey, a
circus are our lives
I can't make up for everything I waste
And I know that I could
never afford a taste
Of anything that your
lovely hands make
It eats away with a force so great
Just 'cause it brings
a smile to my face
Such a bad memory,
you just can't erase
I know of a city to steal from
(ignition clicks)
(seat belt clicks)
(car door opens)
(chickens clucking)
(car door slams)
(footsteps pattering)
(knocking)
(knocking)
(doorknob rattles)
(cell phone ringing)
[Les] Hey, it's Les.
You know what to do.
(voicemail beeps)
(sighs)
(chuckles)
(footsteps pattering)
(latch snaps open)
(gate clatters shut)
(gate creaks)
(footsteps pattering)
(key rattles)
(door opens)
(door closes)
(light switch clicks)
(footsteps pattering)
(piano keys chime)
(stairs creaking)
(light switch clicks)
(light switch clicks)
(light switch clicks)
(light switch clicks)
(light switch clicks)
(photographs rustle)
(drawings rustle)
(birds chirping)
(dogs barking)
(distant rock music)
(gravel crunching)
(loud rock music)
(loud gravel crunching)
(truck door opens)
Hey.
I thought you said 8:00 or 9:00?
Yeah, I just made good time.
You gonna hit those lights?
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
(light switch clicks)
I tried calling.
You did?
(truck door slams)
Oh, I'm sorry. I must have missed it.
[Lou] I'm not surprised.
You're gonna go deaf.
(Les clears throats)
Uh, how'd you... how'd you get in?
The key in the barn.
I forgot that was out there.
Um... you been waiting long?
No, I just got here
like... 10 minutes ago.
- Drive was all right?
- Yeah, it was fine.
[Les] Good.
[Lou] How was work?
Ah. Good.
Good. (Chuckles)
Good.
(both laugh)
Uh. Actually, I'm dragging
ass. You want some coffee?
[Lou] Sure, I'd take some.
(truck door opens)
(truck door slams)
What's going on?
Range Rover in the shop?
[Lou] Range Rover?
(Les chuckles)
What happened to that, uh, old Pontiac?
[Lou] Bonnie?
Yeah, yeah, Bonnie. Thank you.
(door rattles)
[Lou] Yeah, I had to let her go.
When?
College. I held on
as long as I could, but
one day she caught fire on
the Penn Lincoln Parkway.
[Les] Caught fire?
[Lou] Yeah, like inferno.
(chuckles)
[Les] Damn.
Have you been staying here?
Uh... yeah, if I'm like here
working late or whatever.
I had to come let the
plumber in last night.
There something wrong with the pipes?
Um... inspector found
some valve needed replaced.
It's no biggie.
You mind if I just nuke this?
Oh yeah, sure.
(microwave door slams)
(microwave humming)
(footsteps pattering)
(light switch clicks)
Sorry.
(light switch clicks)
I must have turned on
every light in the house.
[Les] I'll send ya the bill.
(microwave beeps)
How you take it?
Black is fine.
(mugs clink)
So... (awkward chuckle)
It's all pretty much like I remember it.
(chuckles) Oh yeah,
nothing changes around here.
Well, I mean, except for you.
What do ya got going on here?
(chuckles) Yeah, not a fan?
Oh, no, no. It's just
you look... like...
[Les] Shitty?
Older. Wiser.
Yeah. Liar.
No good?
Oh, no, no, it's fine.
Oh, I got some sugar
here somewhere, I'm sure.
(cupboards creaking)
We appear to be out of sugar.
Really, it's fine. See, look.
(lips smack) Ahh.
(Les chuckles)
You know, I think I
actually prefer bad coffee.
Ever the contrarian.
No, it's, uh... I just
dated this girl for a while.
Huge coffee snob. Like
she could stick her nose
in a bag of beans and
guess the weather in Peru.
Suddenly I'm ordering $60 bags,
I can't go anywhere without a percolator.
You know, there's nothing
wrong with having good taste.
Eh. I mean you take something simple
that's supposed to make ya happy
and you whittle away at it,
find a million reasons why it's not quite
as good as it could be.
It's just coffee, man.
(chuckles)
Exactly.
So it didn't... didn't work out?
- What's that?
- With the coffee girl?
Oh. Oh, um.
(chuckles) No. No, it did not.
[Lou] How long were you two together?
(deep inhale) Uh, not long.
How's Roger?
He's good.
Yeah, he a... he a doctor yet?
(chuckles) Um. Almost.
He's finishing up residency.
Yeah? Nice.
It was real good of him
to come to the funeral.
Seems like a... like a good dude.
[Lou] Yeah, I think you
two would get along actually.
Yeah, yeah, it's a
shame we couldn't have
grabbed a drink after or something.
Yeah, I mean, like I said, we just had
to jet back for this...
- Yeah.
Oh, you missed Cory taking a swing at Phil
for eating the last deviled egg.
It's just probably better
if Roger never meets the
extended family, huh?
Probably.
I was surprised Aunt Patty didn't show.
Yeah, you know, she felt bad,
but she hasn't left
Pittsburgh since the '90s.
If it involves a highway or a plane...
Geez, I didn't know that.
Yeah, she says the only exception
that she'll make is if I
need a good kick in the ass.
(chuckles) Tough cookie, huh?
Eh. I mean, maybe when I was a teenager,
but I probably needed it back then.
True.
Anyway, she is a softy... deep down.
She bawled when I left for grad school.
(chuckles) She was that happy, huh?
Yeah.
Hey! (Smacks countertop)
I've got some firewood out back.
You wanna light it up?
Crack a couple brews? Chillax?
Uh, sure, yeah. I'm just gonna,
I might grab a shower
first if that's all right.
Please, yeah. Tu casa.
Oh, I um... I put a towel
on the bed for you.
Thanks.
Just...
(beer cracks)
(gentle piano)
(fire crackling)
(gentle piano continues)
(gentle piano ends)
(footsteps pattering)
Whatcha got?
It's for you.
It's from a distillery by my house.
Awesome. Thank you.
I haven't tried it yet,
but I hear good things.
Let's see what we got here.
(cork pops)
(clears throat) Yep, that'll do it.
The first time I got
drunk was off whiskey
straight from the bottle.
(Les chuckles)
Mm.
I was in the parking
lot of the state fair,
right before I got on
the pirate ship ride.
And I still can't eat funnel cake.
My first time was in
Trevor McCormick's basement.
We all like, siphoned
from our parents' stashes,
scotch, tequila, Sambuca, whatever.
We put 'em in a water bottle, shake it up,
and that's what we drank.
Ugh.
Yeah.
Plus his mom, she'd, uh,
order from the Schwan man.
Remember the Schwan man?
- Hell yeah.
- Yeah.
So we'd get shitfaced
and eat like 20 pounds
of potato skins and Swedish meatballs.
- Ugh, glory days.
- Mm-hmm.
Found your stuff?
Yep.
Anything worth keeping?
Just let me know if
you need more kindling.
Yeah.
She kind of turned into a hoarder.
I was finding dad's stuff tucked in
closets and bottom drawers.
What did you do with all of it?
Um, donated most of it.
Put some things on Craigslist.
(car engine rumbling)
(upbeat music)
I ordered a pizza.
Nice.
Shit.
- I got it.
- No, no, no, wait, wait.
I got it, I got it.
- Don't worry about it.
(door opens)
(upbeat music continues)
Hi, how you doing?
Lou?
Kenny.
What are you doing here?
Uh, Les sold the house.
So I'm just, you know,
going through some stuff
and signing a couple things.
I'm sorry to hear what
happened to your mom.
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
But how... how are you?
How's your brother doing?
We're good. We're good.
Good.
I got like three other
deliveries to make.
Yeah.
It's $18.
(cash rustles)
- Keep the change.
- Appreciate that.
Tell everybody I said, "Hi."
Will do.
(door slams)
(upbeat music ends)
(footsteps pattering)
[Lou] You'll never believe who that was.
It was Kenny Miller.
(chuckles) No shit.
Yeah, I'm not even in town
for 10 minutes and already...
(cork pops)
Wait, you mean I should
cancel the welcome home party?
(clicks tongue) Ugh!
Hilarious.
(whiskey pouring)
(cork squeaks)
(mugs clink)
Hey man, imagine still living here.
I'm bumping into ghosts left and right.
It's so weird seeing him all grown up.
He looks just like Doug.
How is he doing?
Oh, um... so you don't know?
He OD'd. About two or three years ago.
(Lou scoffs)
What? I just...
I just asked Kenny how he was doing
and he said he was good.
He's probably sick of talking about it.
Fuck. (Deep sigh)
God, I feel like such an asshole.
I just assumed that he'd straighten up,
maybe even get out of here.
Harder than it looks.
I know. I...
He was a fuck up,
but he was like... a lovable fuck up.
Yeah.
(crickets chirping)
(fire crackling)
(soft chuckle) I...
I remember this one night,
his sister was going on a date
and he thought it'd be
funny if we showed up
at the same movie.
(Les chuckles)
We're not even through the previews yet
and Lover Boy just starts
putting the moves on her.
So Doug waited until the lights went down
and then (chuckles) he
started pelting them
with Sour Patch Kids.
(both chuckle)
They're like looking around in the dark.
They can't really figure it out.
So every time they would
turn back to the screen, bam,
Sour Patch Kid to the back of the head.
Fucking bullies, man.
Yeah, finally they just got up and left
and that's when they saw us and...
Ah, she was upset.
Lover Boy was super pissed.
We feel bad and so
we... we chase after them,
and as soon as we get into
the lobby, mid apology,
the little fucker turns
and pops Doug in the eye,
and Doug doesn't even have a chance
to think before he pushes
him, like hard. (Chuckles)
And the kid, oh my god, the
kid goes flying backwards.
He crashes through the glass door,
he's sprawled out on the sidewalk.
Doug looks around, confused for a sec.
There's snow blowing into the
lobby, neon lights flashing,
his sister screaming,
and he just... he looked at me
and he just started laughing.
[Les] Laughing?
Yeah, like a
like a sad, tired laugh.
Like he couldn't believe
that he had done it again.
(distant train whistle blowing)
[Les] The kid was all right though?
Yep, we all just sat on the curb
and waited for the cops to come.
Damn.
That would've been a hell of a eulogy.
I mean, maybe I have it backwards.
[Les] What's that?
The laugh.
Maybe it was like he could believe it.
Like he expected it.
Expected what?
I guess problems. Like
the whole family really.
It was just one bad thing after another.
Seems like Kenny's doing all right.
Kenny delivers pizza.
So?
Look, maybe Doug got dealt a shitty hand,
but he made a lot of bad choices too.
I mean, hey, look at you.
On paper, you and him are the same person,
and yet here you are, world by the tail.
I don't really know about that.
Are you kidding me?
You've got like two degrees.
Roger seems like a peach,
you're a big shot museum... person.
[Lou] Curator.
Exactly.
Well, technically I
assist the curator, so.
[Les] Even better. Less responsibility.
- Yeah.
- What?
[Lou] (chuckles) Nothing.
No, what?
I mean, I really like what I do.
Like I worked... I worked really hard
to get on this trajectory and...
But?
I don't know, the closer you get
to the one thing you always
wanted, the more it starts
to seem just like... one thing.
[Les] So quit.
(scoffs) And then what?
I don't know.
What would you do if
you could do anything?
God, I... I don't know.
Not what you're imagining,
like nothing exciting.
Humor me.
It's stupid but sometimes I... I daydream
about bagging groceries
or like walking dogs.
Just something... simple.
I found Rufio's old
leash in the basement.
Have at it.
Ah! Rufio!
(Les chuckles)
I was never happier than
when I was trotting around
with that little dude.
In another life, dog walker, for sure.
It's not too late.
Yeah, that's the thing,
like it is too late.
I can just feel all of the doors closing.
And every year, you
get a little more money
and a little more vacation time...
I don't know, part of
me finds that comforting.
What?
All the doors closing.
You know, all this worrying about arcs
and angles of ascent
and what we could or should be doing.
Just, I think I'm done with it, man.
Does that mean you're gonna
work at Steve's Meat Market
for just the rest of your life?
(chuckles) Are you not impressed?
(chuckles) I just...
I mean... I mean like whatever
happened to culinary school?
Ugh. Um...
Just... wasn't my thing.
[Lou] What about it?
Everything. The whole... enchilada.
(laughs) Shit, I don't know, um...
You realize pretty
quickly that no graduates
of the Le Cordon Bleu Institute
of Youngstown are going on
to illustrious cooking careers.
Best case scenario, you end up
on a garnish station
somewhere sprinkling parsley
on reheated minestrone.
Which you definitely
don't need a degree for.
So I dropped out,
sprinkled parsley for as
long as I could stand it...
How long was that?
A couple years.
A couple of years?
What did you think, you were gonna blink
and win a Michelin Star?
[Les] No, but...
Because my first year at
the museum, all I did was sit
in a tiny cold cubicle and lick stamps.
(Les chuckles)
You do that for a while
and then eventually you get
to do something slightly
less soul sucking,
and you keep doing that,
and then one day you are just...
You find yourself in your corner office
wishing you were walking dogs?
I said I'm the assistant.
I don't have a corner office.
Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
I don't know.
And then I was in Steve's one afternoon,
buying a ribeye,
and I'm watching him
break down the forequarter
piece by piece like a machine, you know,
like this series of complex
cuts he knows so well
that he's doing it with
his eyes half closed.
I mean, he's like singing
along to the radio, you know.
And it clicked.
Maybe work doesn't have to be meaningful.
Maybe it shouldn't be.
Made me think of this Maya
Angelou interview I read once.
She was talking about
how she always keeps a
deck of cards next to her
when she's writing.
She keeps a game of
solitaire going on the side
to keep what she calls
the "small mind" busy
while she uses the "big mind" to write.
And I thought, that's the answer.
Small work that doesn't worry the big.
I asked Steve right then and there
if he could use an extra cleaver.
And now I play solitaire
for 40 hours a week
and I get to keep the
important stuff right here.
You read Maya Angelou.
(Les chuckles)
Don't fuck with me. I read.
Yeah, well I... I get what she is saying,
but what's the point of
protecting the big mind
if you just keep it all yourself?
Like Maya had something she needed to say.
We know why the caged bird sings.
But if your culinary genius
is so important, don't you
kind of feel some
responsibility to share it?
What, you only paint for an audience?
(chuckles) No.
Well, there you go.
[Lou] No. (Corks pops)
I mean, I don't paint.
What? Why?
(whiskey pouring)
(cork squeaks)
Wasn't good enough.
[Les] Good enough for who?
For myself.
And people who like good art.
What are you talking about?
You were great.
Best painter in Mr. Chaffin's art class.
(Les chuckles)
[Les] Hey, I'm sure every great painter
was the best painter in
their high school art class.
Yeah, but mine was taught by
the JV basketball coach, so.
And he didn't instill in
you a love for the game?
But I mean, that's the thing
about being a middling artist.
You're not really bad
enough for it to be fun
and also not good enough
for it to be rewarding.
Cynic.
Still seems kind of sad though.
What does?
You, spending all your
time on someone else's art.
How is it different from an
ex-chef curating cold cuts?
We just got this exhibit,
this surrealist from Norway,
and she does these super
dense oil based portraits.
They're like 3D, the paint is on so thick.
And they are beautiful and strange
and... very unsettling.
It's like they shape shift
right in front of you,
like there's... there's every
face in every portrait.
And she's 14.
When I was 14, I was painting sailboats.
Hey, I loved your sailboats.
[Lou] Thank you.
Plus, I mean, how much do
you have to fuck up your kid
to turn them into a
creepy picture prodigy?
Well, her dad did murder her mom.
(Les chuckles)
[Les] Wait, really?
(Lou laughs)
God.
Uh, well, in that case, I hope you
and Roger have very
mediocre, very happy children
that go to public schools and
paint all sorts of watercraft.
I am not sure that that's in the cards.
- Public school?
- Yuck.
You don't want kids?
He wants them.
[Les] And you?
I'm less enthusiastic.
(Les chuckles)
[Les] How come?
How come? Why, do you want them?
No. I don't know.
I just wanna know why you don't want them.
I can think of like a hundred reasons.
I mean... (deep sigh)
I'm afraid of losing my identity.
I'm afraid of being a bad mother.
I'm scared of the constant heartbreak.
I also have to acknowledge the fact
that I didn't really like, enjoy
my own childhood that much.
But not Roger... he, uh, he
grew up in a Sears catalog.
[Les] (chuckles) His
family pretty close?
His best friend is his mom
and his second best friend is his brother.
Hey, at least you have that in common.
I just don't think he really considers
how easily things can derail.
Like, the dumb luck it
takes to emerge unscathed.
No family's perfect.
They're not all fucked up either.
So, what, it's just dumb luck?
I...
You don't bear any
kind of responsibility?
We, I mean.
(nervous chuckle) Not always.
Yeah.
What I keep coming back
to is, I'm like you,
I can come up with a million
very rational arguments
for not having kids,
but there is one reason for having them
that kind of makes sense to me.
Don't say it's so you can have someone
to take care of you when you're old,
because like that's just...
- Boredom.
Sorry, boredom?
Yeah.
You gotta buy a mountain
bike. You should go to Mumbai.
(chuckles) Please,
every new parent I know
has a mountain bike.
They keep it buried in
the back of their garage.
I think eventually you
just get tired of trying
to find meaningful ways
to spend your time.
So you wanna have a kid
so that you can know
how to fill a Saturday?
(sighs) Yeah, maybe.
Oh my god.
(chuckles) I'm just
saying, like, I can see it.
You know, ya get married,
ya settle into a job,
and then all of a sudden
there are no more interesting
problems to solve,
so you just... create one.
What was the name of that youth pastor?
The guy from the Methodist church?
Um. Evan. Evan something.
Yeah, okay.
Well, yeah, he used to say
this thing all the time
about how we all have a
God-shaped hole in our hearts.
[Les] Terrifying.
Except you're saying the same thing,
but that it's kid-shaped.
I mean, of course he did end up sleeping
with the choir director,
which got him kicked out of the church.
I ran into him a few years later,
and he was, uh, stocking
shelves at Food World,
and I was buying cookies (laughs)
Which I think actually does,
that somehow makes it sadder.
Anyway, I agree, there's this like,
but I think it's impossible
to know how to fill it.
Like you can try, but
I think it's shapeless,
and if you think that God is gonna fill it
or a kid, or whatever, just, you know,
cooking, painting
the next thing you know
you're fuck in the organist.
You know what?
I can't stop thinking about cookies now.
[Lou] Yeah, me neither.
Yeah, there's a cookie-shaped
hole in my stomach.
(both laugh)
[Lou] Just a thought,
but what time does Food World close?
Oh, uh, about five years ago.
No.
Yeah, Food World is Whole Foods now.
[Lou] God, that sucks.
Is nothing sacred?
[Les] Afraid not.
[Lou] Okay, well I'm
gonna head out then.
This has been fun.
[Les] Take your shit with you. (Laughs)
(crickets chirping)
(fire crackling)
(birds chirping)
(covers rustling)
(soft piano)
(cupboards creaking)
(soft piano continues)
(faucet running)
(soft piano ends)
(door opens and closes)
(footsteps pattering)
- [Les] Hey.
- Hey.
What's all this?
The prodigal daughter has returned.
Pour the wine, slaughter
the fattened calf.
[Lou] You didn't have to...
Ah, perk of the job.
All the meat you can eat.
Still.
- You slept in, huh?
- Yeah.
Here.
(pill bottle rattles)
Thanks.
[Les] Oh, shit.
What?
I forgot the fricking lemons.
Make it without lemons.
[Les] I can't, I gotta go back.
I can go.
Yeah?
No, I have my rendezvous
with the lawyer, I can...
Well, I was thinking
about doing a lap anyway,
see what else has closed.
Sure. Okay, thanks.
[Lou] Well, then I
will be back in a bit.
(bus whooshing)
(car door opens)
(car door slams)
[Secretary] Did you ask your dad?
Well, ask him.
(computer keys clacking)
I don't know, Aria. I'm at work, okay?
You can't call me every 20 minutes.
(office door closes)
All right, bye-bye.
(phone clicks)
(computer keys clacking)
Loullen?
(grocery store muzak)
(carts rolling)
[Lou] Hey, babe.
Did the paperwork and
now I'm getting lemons.
Les is cooking dinner. Yeah.
Yeah, how was work?
That's good.
You won't believe it, I stayed up
until like, well we did, 3:00 AM.
Yeah, I'm so tired. (Chuckles)
Thank you.
Yeah, we drank like the whole
bottle of whiskey, I think.
Oh, you know, it all tastes
like hair spray to me, so.
Oh, um. Yeah, fine. Good.
We just kind of caught up a bit.
Yeah, I think so.
Uh, no, not yet.
I should actually get these to Les.
Okay, yeah, love you.
Kenny. I'm so sorry, man.
I didn't... I didn't know.
Yeah.
I would've come to the service,
but I don't really talk
to anybody around...
I get it. I get it.
Is that your girlfriend?
Wife.
No shit.
How long have you guys been together?
Three years.
Yeah, we uh... we actually had a wedding
and a funeral in the same month.
He just... he couldn't kick it?
It's not that easy for some people.
No, I know...
It was even harder after you split.
It's just... Sorry.
- Um, you know I...
- I should probably
get her to work.
Oh yeah, okay.
See you around, Lou.
See ya.
[Kenny] Come on.
(upbeat music)
[Lou] Smells good in here.
[Les] Lou, you say something?
Yeah, I said it smells
good in here. Good lord.
(Les chuckles)
Hope you're hungry.
We have, uh, con fit
spring onions, potatoes
with black garlic butter,
this carrot mole thing,
and, uh, lamb in the oven.
This is very impressive.
Thank you.
Oh.
And lemon curd for dessert. Thank you.
Should I...?
Yeah, um, set the table
please, if you don't mind.
Yeah.
Do we need bowls or...?
Nah.
Oh, how did it go with Coleman?
- Who?
- The lawyer.
Oh, uh. Yeah, fine. Good.
[Les] Good.
Guess you'll be getting
a check in a few weeks.
[Lou] Yeah, I... I really don't want it.
(oven beeps)
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
It's blood money. It makes
me uncomfortable too, but...
No, I mean, I think
you should get it all.
(Les chuckles)
Like, I don't mean to be a dick,
but Roger's parents are doctors.
There's a house in the
Hamptons. Trust funds.
We just... we have like, such easy lives.
To an easy life.
I just don't need it.
Are you saying I do?
No, I'm saying that
maybe you deserve it.
You could go back to school,
maybe get out of Ohio.
Lou, it's not about who
needs it or deserves it.
It's about what she wanted.
Yeah.
(phone vibrates)
Fuck.
(phone vibrates)
What's that?
(sighs) Fucking Craigslist guy.
He's interested in buying a chair.
He thinks I'm a fucking idiot.
He's playing a dangerous game.
Does he know that danger
is your middle name?
(Les chuckles)
He does now. Let's eat.
(mellow music)
How is it?
Mmm.
Really good.
- Yeah?
- Mhmm.
Not like, undercooked or anything?
I like a little blood.
And the, uh, potatoes?
(chuckles) The potatoes,
um... they're perfect.
Yeah, everything's perfect.
Good, good.
You know these old ovens, man,
you're just guessing at a temperature.
(both awkwardly chuckle)
You ever have Merguez?
Mer what?
(chuckles) Merguez.
It's a, uh, type of lamb sausage.
We make it for this
Algerian guy that comes in.
Harissa, a bunch of spices,
I can't get enough of it.
I almost brought that instead.
I don't really do sausage.
Hmm. Why not?
You've never read "The Jungle"?
(chuckles) We're slightly
more sophisticated now.
I mean, sausage,
as far as I know, it's
still, uh, ground up meat
stuffed into intestines, so.
I did say slightly.
I don't know, that's kind
of what makes this stuff so interesting.
You know, just how unsophisticated it is.
Primal.
Like sure, we're using
napkins and silverware,
but we still want to taste a little blood.
Like you're right, we are
basically making sausage
the same way we did 4,000 years ago.
But what's crazy about that
is that there are records
of all these different civilizations
from all around the world,
Sumerians, Amazonians, whatever,
and they all figured out this trick
with the intestines at the same time.
I mean, like, what does that mean?
Everybody snapping the same puzzle piece
into place simultaneously?
It's like some kind of
gastronomic, collective
consciousness or something.
(Les chuckles)
I could talk about this all day.
Uh, but I won't. I will not do that.
Sorry, sorry.
It's just I... I ran
into Kenny at the store,
and I do not think that
he likes me. (Chuckles)
Hey, how's his brother doing?
(Les chuckles)
Sorry. What did he say?
Oh, you know.
"Fancy seeing you again.
I hope you're enjoying your visit.
You killed my brother."
[Les] He said that?
Like more or less, yeah.
Geez.
[Lou] I mean, it's his brother.
Why wasn't he looking after him?
How do you know he wasn't?
I guess I don't.
But... I don't know.
I'm not gonna take the rap for that.
I was good to Doug and
that's more than you can say
for his shitty-ass parents.
What was their deal?
Well, his mom got her
foot run over at work,
and then she took off
with the injury lawyer.
You know that guy from those
terrible, corny commercials?
Oh god. Not that Frasier-looking fucker?
[Lou] Yeah, exactly.
"There's no way they won't pay."
Yeah. Fucking guy.
And then his dad started dating some girl
that was like a few years older than me,
and he wouldn't come around
for like weeks sometimes.
So it was me and Doug getting
Kenny and Tay to school,
making sure that they ate.
So domestic.
Yeah, we were also
getting loaded every day,
which, you know, in
hindsight... it's not, like...
I don't know.
I mean the only way we
were gonna get better is
if one of us left and Doug couldn't, so.
What, I gotta stay here and die too?
Sorry, that...
Like when things got rough with
Doug, I actually called mom
and asked her if I could come home.
Really?
Yeah, she told me to call Patty.
Hm.
Yeah, she kept it all real hush hush.
For a while, people would say
they saw you here or there
and then... nothin.
(wine pouring)
I remember this one time, mom
and I were driving somewhere
down in the valley, and
we saw you heading back
behind those abandoned warehouses
across the railroad tracks.
You were flying down this
gravel road, kicking up dust,
but Bonnie was unmistakable.
And we both saw the other see it was you.
I remember waiting for mom
to whip the car around,
give chase, bust some heads,
but instead she just sorta
looked over at me, said, "That's not her."
And somehow I knew to just play along,
and said, "Yeah, that car looks blue."
Just bandying the lie back and forth.
There was a lot of that going on.
Huh.
Abandoned warehouse?
Other side of the tracks?
It's pretty cliche, huh?
(Les chuckles)
You remember Chad? Bettinger?
Dude I played ball with,
he went to Lakeside.
He was a couple years
older than me. Good dude.
He'd drive me to practice,
bring me to parties,
that kind of shit.
I think he just knew about
dad and kind of felt bad.
Anyway, um, he graduates, joins
the Marines, we lose touch.
Then, about a year ago, I see his face
on the front page of the paper.
He was driving home from the bar, drunk,
and he hit this couple on a
motorcycle, killed them both.
Pleads guilty, gets 24 years.
His life is basically over.
Bad choices?
You know how many times
I've driven on Route 20,
late at night, after maybe one too many?
Bad choices, yeah. But shit luck too.
Heads it's Chad, tails it's me.
Heads it's Doug, tails it's you.
Oh, you mean Chad, the baseball player?
Like the golden boy?
(chuckles) Yeah.
The last thing they
mentioned in the article is
that he still holds three state records.
Well if that's not a Springsteen song.
(Les chuckles)
I come from down the valley
That was kind of good.
(both laugh)
And then this... this
other thing happened,
this crazy thing, right
after I found out about Chad.
Man, I totally forgot about this.
[Lou] Yeah?
This huge storm had just
rolled through, right?
And so I went for a walk
to try to clear my head...
(phone vibrates)
And, uh... I was in the
park, down by the river,
and there's that... that
row of walnut trees,
you know, those massive trees, and...
(phone vibrates)
God!
[Lou] Chair guy?
Um. Lemme take this.
[Lou] Don't let him low ball ya.
[Les] Yeah.
Uh-huh.
(mellow music clicks off)
Okay.
Um. We will have to talk tomorrow.
Okay, all right. Yep, I understand.
(sighs) Yes, we will talk tomorrow.
All right, bye.
Tomorrow, that is so smart.
You gotta make him sweat.
(Les snickers)
You renounced the inheritance?
Coleman said you... what, you
just weren't gonna tell me?
I was... I was trying to tell you.
Uh, when?
I could've tried harder.
And obviously I was gonna tell you, I...
Tell me what exactly?
I can't take it.
Why not?
[Lou] It's, it's...
Not enough room in your wallet?
You're feeling charitable? (Snickers)
It's not that simple.
It is that simple, Lou.
You're half the family, you get half.
Yeah. (Scoffs)
You wanna know what I think?
I think you think
that if you take it, you'll have to admit
that you've been wrong this whole time.
About what?
[Les] That you are somehow
not part of the family.
C'mon. What family?
Right. Exactly.
[Lou] That is not my fault.
I know.
Okay, so what do you want?
(scoffs) I want you to take the money
and shut up about it.
Nice.
And then I want you to
consider that you come
from a long, miraculously
unbroken line of people
that have survived droughts (Lou laughs)
And fucking world wars
so that you can fart around
with your little art friends.
And Lou, goddammit, I mean, you can leave,
(snickers) you can stop
talking to everybody,
but like it or not, man,
you're still family.
Like, when did we become the Corleones?
"The family, the family," like that...
Right. Funny.
Does that make you Fredo?
Yeah, I was asked to leave.
What choice did you give her?
I was homeless. There
were other options.
You were homeless for the 10 minutes
it took Doug to scoop you up.
Scooped up by Doug the drug dealer.
Thank god.
(Les scoffs)
What?
Nothing, just last night,
Doug was a lovable loser
and now he's Pablo Escobar.
He's dead, isn't he?
Let me ask you something.
(Les sighs)
You don't think she was a
little quick on the trigger?
What? Kicking you out?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I know I couldn't stand to
be in the same house as you.
(scoffs) It was six months aft...
He was my dad too, Lou. (Snickers)
I wasn't trying to pull
the roof down on top of us.
Yeah, but it different for me.
If you're saying it was harder.
I am saying that it was different,
so kicking me out then,
that was the worst thing
at the worst time...
Was it?
A couple months in pill head heaven
and then off to private school?
- I didn't want...
- Which she paid for,
by the way.
Oh! Oh, you thought that
came outta Patty's pocket?
(Les snickers)
What, you keep the books too?
It's the difference between cooking
in San Francisco and Sandusky.
Well, fuck, Les, do you
want the money or not?
It's too late, man.
Everything has already happened.
So now I'm just... I'm gonna
get blamed for everything?
No!
No, I do not blame you for leaving.
But never coming back is a
fucked up way to punish people.
That is not what I was doing.
[Les] I mean, I know it's not Montauk.
Oh fuck you. Yeah, you know what?
I'm not gonna take the money
because that would mean
that I'm a part of the family,
which is something I
have almost never felt.
There it is.
There it is! It's true!
[Les] If it's true, it's
because you made it true!
Fuck this!
You know, and all this
bullshit about the will,
it's just your way of saying,
"Here, you take care of it."
It's your fucking favorite sentence!
And you know what? I don't
give a fuck anymore, okay?
I will take care of it,
just like how I took care of our mom,
and the funeral, and selling the house.
She's not my mom.
What?
She's not my mom, not on paper.
(scoffs) What are you talking about?
Patty adopted me.
- Adopted you?
- Yeah.
(Les scoffs)
So what? That's like
your little final fuck you?
Ditching the surname?
- No.
This was 30 years ago.
(Les scoffs)
Wait, um. I don't get it.
(distant dogs barking)
Supposedly, she had all of
these postpartum problems.
So she and dad asked Patty
to look after me till she got better.
And a couple of weeks turned
into a couple of months,
and after a year, they
finally just asked Patty
to adopt me, which...
Wait, so she was sick
or depressed? What?
I don't know.
[Les] You just said there
were postpartum problems.
I said "supposedly."
Well, what does that mean?
It means that...
I mean, maybe she was 23
and didn't really wanna have a kid.
But you did come back.
Yeah, after two years, her
maternal instincts kick in,
she wants to be a family again.
So they agree on a date in late January,
after Les is born.
(cigarette pack rustling)
How long have you known?
A while.
After I showed up at Patty's, again,
she was so pissed at mom,
she didn't really care
about keeping the lie going.
Can I have one?
(cigarette pack rustling)
(distant train whistle blowing)
So that's... that's why
you never came back?
(scoffs) No. What bothered me was
was thinking about dad,
and how he was so sweet to me,
like he owed me something.
But with mom, it was... it was clear even
when I was a kid that
she had given up trying
to force something that she couldn't feel.
Especially watching her
love you so unambiguously.
And it's fine. It's fine.
That's... that's what I'm saying.
It was a relief to know that
it was fucked from the jump.
That we were always
gonna end up strangers.
Clearly she agreed.
That's why she never called,
she never sent a birthday card.
It was just easier for both of us
to pretend that none of
this had ever happened.
So...
So when you sit here
and you try to convince me
that I am a part of the family,
to claim my half,
you'll have to forgive me if I have
no idea what the fuck
you're talking about.
I need a drink.
(somber piano)
(crickets chirping)
(somber piano ends)
(footsteps pattering)
You're wrong
about her not caring
that you never came back.
I mean maybe she was too
proud to admit it, but...
She wasn't perfect,
but she deserved better too.
(Lou sighs)
I know.
Uh... (sighs)
No. No, I don't think you do.
She was fucked up... about dad,
and then you,
and finally,
(scoffs) when she'd just
started to get back out there...
You don't know what it was like,
taking her to the hospital for chemo,
sitting in waiting rooms.
And when they took out her kidney,
when she was puking up every spoonful
I convinced her to eat.
And then at the end, when hospice left,
and it was just the two of us,
and she stopped getting out of bed,
stopped eating altogether,
stopped talking,
and all I could do was hold her hand
and crush up pain pills.
I had to mix them with water
and shoot them into her cheek
with this little turkey
baster looking thing.
She, uh... she couldn't swallow.
Half the time, I had to
like, hold her mouth shut
for a second so it didn't dribble out.
And the...
The apnea just kept
getting worse and worse.
The day before she died, she was
taking these really
labored breaths, you know,
and all of a sudden she'd stop breathing
for what felt like forever.
And I'd just be staring at her,
wanting both things, and,
and feeling guilty for
wanting both things.
And just when I thought that
was it, she'd gasp again,
this horrible gargled breathing sound
like something inside of her wanted out.
And that went on all
day and into the night.
And then
in the middle of the night, she shot up.
I mean, I didn't even know
she still had the strength
to do that, but, um... she did.
And she looked at me, wild-eyed,
and asked, "Should I be mad at you?"
And I... I mean I...
I didn't know what to say.
Like I actually had to
think about it for a second.
And I said, "No, no, I don't think so."
And she looked relieved, laid back down,
and that was the last
thing she said to me.
Next morning, the funeral
home was short-staffed,
so I had to ask the fucking
neighbors to come help me
and the funeral director
get her out of the house.
We had to roll her onto her
side and into a body bag
and carry her out, navigating stairs
and corners like... like she was
a piece of fucking furniture.
And I thought about you.
Where you were. What you were doing.
If you were sitting down
to dinner somewhere.
Maybe it was too late for you and her,
but I needed you.
I didn't know what the fuck I was doing.
(Les sighs)
After the funeral, I got really sick.
I think the stress
of those last few months
finally caught up to me,
and I was just decimated, you
know, in bed for two weeks,
half conscious, zonked out
on some of mom's Vicodin,
chasing it with Sudafed.
And I'm dreaming and
sweaty and confused and cold,
and the only thing that kept
me from pulling my hair out
was just the faint recognition
of a tomorrow or a next
week when it'd be over,
and I'd walk back into my normal life.
And I felt connected
to her, in a weird way,
drugged up and caught there in that place.
And then I thought about
what it would be like
to know that you'd never escape it.
That your last experience
of the world would be
fractured in that way,
and how terrifying that
must have been for her.
(Les groans)
I just wonder if I fucked up
by giving her all those pills.
If feeling the pain would've been better.
If it's always better.
(birds chirping)
(distant train whistle blowing)
(chicken clucking)
(sofa creaking)
(Les sighs)
(footsteps pattering)
(sad piano)
(sad piano ends)
(phone vibrates)
Hello?
Yeah, hey, what's up man?
Yeah, you... you want the, uh,
the sofa or just the chair?
Okay. Yeah, no, no, that sounds good.
Um, yeah. Half hour sounds good.
All right. All right,
I'll, uh, see ya in a bit.
All right, bye.
(door opens and closes)
Bacon, egg, and cheese.
My hero.
You hitting the road soon?
Yeah, I'll head out in a bit.
What are you doing?
I closed the deal on that chair.
Dude's picking it up around 10:00.
Figured I'd wrestle it outside for him.
Do you need some help?
- Oh, I wasn't fishing.
- No, I know.
Okay, yeah, sure. Thank you.
(soft piano)
(paper bag rustling)
(indistinct chatter)
[Lou] You know, I actually
don't think you finished,
uh, one of your stories.
[Les] Oh god, which one?
[Lou] No, no, no. After
you found out about Chad,
you said something crazy happened.
[Les] Oh, yeah.
(soft piano ends)
So the day I found out,
there was this huge storm,
branches down everywhere, power was out.
And after it rolled through,
I thought I'd go for a walk,
try to clear my head,
and I see this baby bird
got blown out of its nest.
One of its wings is bent behind its back,
covered by ants.
It's still chirping, kind of maniacally,
its little chest going up and down.
And I knew it was gonna die
and that I should put
it out of its misery,
but I just... just couldn't do it.
The butcher couldn't kill a bird?
(Les chuckles)
Yeah, I know.
I just kept picturing that couple
getting thrown off their motorcycle,
lying in the middle of
the road, all broken.
So, uh, anyway, then I start
knocking on people's doors
and asking for help,
and, of course, they're all just
looking at me like I'm crazy.
(Lou laughs)
And then I knock on this one door
and this woman says,
"Oh, you know, my cousin
rehabilitates birds."
And my first thought is,
oh, of course, here it is, proof that
everything happens according to some plan.
And I wasn't worried anymore about Chad
or that couple or anything really.
I was just looking at this woman
and I was just so fucking thankful.
So I said, "Can you call your cousin?"
And she says, "Oh, no,
honey, she lives in Florida."
(Les chuckles)
So I say, "Thanks," walk back to the bird,
pick up a heavy rock and...
For a second, I was positive
that the world made sense,
that you could rely on it
to make just a little bit of sense.
(birds chirping)
(wind blowing)
If I die young, then bury me in stones
Like a battle shrine,
I merely ever roam
And if I'm crying, come
and pour me a drink
Of that old wine, come
before it's too late
I filled my heart with
bones and burnt debris
'Til all looked on
and never really see
And if I'm lying, come
and pour me a drink
Ready my old pipe, and
call my fiddlers three
And If I'm cold, I can
count on you to bless me
Like some firebrand,
ready for your testing
And If I'm crying, come
and pour me a drink
Of that old wine, come
before it's too late