Becoming Bond (2017) Movie Script

The success of
the James Bond films
has made household names
out of actors playing Agent 007.
The name's Bond.
James Bond.
Except for one.
The forgotten James Bond.
George Lazenby went from
being a car salesman
in Queanbeyan in the 1960s
to playing 007.
Is it true that, as I think
you put it yourself once,
you told a pack of
lies to get the role?
And now it's our great joy
to welcome the new James Bond.
Now this is a fascinating
situation, isn't it?
Because you've, what,
you've refused
to do a second Bond?
(light clicks)
So you're gonna
tell me your story.
I'm wondering what
can I expect from it?
Do I have drama about what?
In your life story
that I'm gonna ask you.
Is there drama?
What do you mean
"is there drama"?
-There's drama all my life.
-Is there romance?
-Huh, yes.
-Is there romance?
-Is there comedy?
A little.
Drugs, yeah, a little.
-A little.
Are there twists and turns?
-Is it a good story?
Oh, well, it depends
if you like those
kind of stories, you know?
Well, it all started, my life,
from what I remember,
being in hospital.
Hold that, hold that.
When I was three years old...
Oh shit, he's awake!
Shh, go back to sleep.
...they found that
I was peeing backwards
into my kidneys.
They opened me up 67 times.
I was left with half a kidney.
My doctors told my mother
that I'd probably pass away
around 12.
Maybe 13.
I suppose, subconsciously,
there was a part of me that
said I better get on with life
because who knows?
It could be over any time.
The first time
I ever stole a car
I was six years old.
I think I said to myself,
"I better make the best
of the time that I do have."
And my dad never had a car
because we were
a poor family.
But my uncle used to
drive a '36 Ford.
And I mean, I loved that thing.
He'd always left
his keys in it.
And I had to get
underneath the dashboard...
(engine roars to life)
...and then I'd stand up
and let the clutch out.
Then it would kangaroo hop.
(horn honks)
That's how it was.
I was a larrikin.
I was a wild larrikin
doing whatever I liked
and I'd been that way forever.
(school bell rings)
Hurry up, kids,
take your seats.
Settle down.
Pencils out.
So, as I was saying,
science is all around--
Yeah, no one expected
much of anything from me.
Pay attention!
I didn't see
the point in school.
So this island here
is where we live.
School was so boring.
So boring.
You know, it was, like,
"God, I gotta learn
this geography thing."
China and Russia
and Hungary and the Ukraine.
I had no use knowing
where England was
or where America was,
I was in Australia
and I wasn't going there.
And the largest
clouds are called
the cumulonimbus clouds.
Science, who gives
a shit about science?
Yes, what is it, George?
Is this gonna be
relevant to my life?
You know,
that was my attitude.
George Lazenby,
outside right now.
The vice headmaster,
Chook Warner.
He hated me.
Now, put out
your hands palms down.
He would cane me
for no reason frankly.
Quickly now.
"Who did this?
Who brought the snake to school?
I bet you Lazenby did it.
Come out outside."
Because I did and I brought
a snake to school one day.
I had to find ways to get
me through the day, you know?
Like possibly causing
a little bit of trouble.
The sun and it's all
part of the life cycle--
One girl noticed it.
Wasn't gonna hurt anyone.
Another day I brought
a bag full of bats.
Time for school, bats!
I went down the sewers
and got a whole
bag full of bats.
I put them in my school bag
and then I opened the bag
and they flew in the daylight.
It was so much fun.
People screaming, yelling,
and running everywhere.
Children, try to remain calm!
It was worth getting
the cane that day.
(engine revving)
You know,
to be honest with you,
the things I was interested in
were pranks and having fun.
But when I turned 15,
things changed.
I can remember one morning
riding down the hill on my bike,
there was a girl
sunbaking on the lawn
around the corner
from my place.
June Green.
She was 23 and I was 15.
She had a fascinating body.
So I stopped the bike
and pretended something
was wrong with it.
Okay, what is the problem here?
Tire pressure seems fine.
-I was fiddling with it...
-Might be the gas cap. know, and looking at it.
I had no idea how to
approach a girl at that time.
Might be this thing here.
And she finally said,
"What are you looking at?"
And I said, "Oh,
my bike's broken down."
Um, my bike's broken down.
can I come in,
you got any tools?
Yeah, okay.
(tools clattering)
Next thing I know,
I'm on top of her.
This is fun.
Oh yeah, okay.
-Is that right?
-And we were dry rooting
on the kitchen floor.
Wait, what's dry rooting?
That's doing it
with your clothes on.
My arms are starting
to get tired a little bit.
I had no idea what I was doing.
-You okay?
-Uh, uh, my pants
are bunching up a little bit.
Eventually, she invited
me down at night.
All right.
And I can remember when we
made love for the first time.
And it was fantastic.
And all of a sudden
something took over my body.
I was, like, in space
and it was magnificent.
The best feeling
I've ever had in my life.
-I went, "Holy shit."
-Holy shit.
I thought I'd blown
my penis apart.
I got out of the car
and struck a match
and checked it out
to see everything
was still there.
Are you okay?
Yeah, we're good.
My penis is fine.
And then I couldn't wait
to get back in the car
and have another one.
I ended up going down
to her place every night.
Why isn't everyone
doing this all the time?
-Shut up!
Until the school teacher
wrote a letter to my family
that I couldn't keep
my eyes open during class.
Michelle Cunningham.
Michael Dickens.
Well, there's a hall
in Queanbeyan
called the Masonic Hall
and that's where
all the kids go
to graduate high school
and you get an
intermediate certificate.
Sarah Kinsworth.
My mother came with me
and I thought it's a given,
everybody was getting one.
Brendan O'Connor.
Very rarely
someone doesn't get
an intermediate certification.
Andrew Lange.
Finally, after about an hour...
And George Lazenby...
did not graduate.
To the 1954 class of Goulburn,
and farewell.
I was the only one
in the whole hall
that didn't get a certificate.
I'm thinking, "Jesus,
couldn't even get
an intermediate certificate."
I mean, I knew I wasn't
gonna be a public servant
or a lawyer or a doctor
or anywhere I thought
you might need an education.
It's embarrassing.
I didn't give a damn
about the certificate
but it was the embarrassment
of not getting one
that was hurting.
If you didn't
graduate high school,
you had to redo the same
class over again for a year.
And I wasn't about to do that.
So my uncle helped me out
and got me a job as a mechanic.
There was no money in it.
I got paid very poorly.
Look at this thing.
You're gonna look amazing
going down the street in it.
Imagine it; here,
come on, sit down, sit down.
Look, you can
look out at the stars...
And one day, I saw
the car salesmen
were having much more fun
than us mechanics.
Mount myself on this hood,
then I'll mount you
on the hood.
I'd look out from
underneath the car
and I'd see the guys
chatting up the girls and...
Of course I come with the car.
I can come, I can sit in the
backseat the entire time.
We can both sit in
the backseat if you'd like.
...going to work in a suit,
going to nice places for lunch,
you know, having
a car to drive
-and I'm thinking...
-What am I doing under here?
So I said to the boss,
"I want to be a car salesman."
But then I couldn't
sell anything.
No, I saw this
old girl in the shop
and worked on her
more than most actually
but, um, fair bit
of room in the back.
I can tell you like that.
And, uh, you guys up to date
with your tetanus shots?
I would, I'd get
ahead of the game there.
Look on the bright side,
it comes in a bunch
of different colors.
-What do you say?
-I don't think so.
Yeah, you don't want to rush
into a decision like this
but, um, I'll be here
if you change your mind.
I was hopeless.
I couldn't sell a bloody car.
Comes in a few different colors.
One guy there
who'd come out of university,
-Johnny Horton.
-It's all yours!
Here's the keys.
Congratulations, beautiful!
He was selling
30 a month
and he knew nothing about cars.
Don't forget to
tell your friends,
Johnny Horton.
(blows softly)
(musical flourish)
That used to piss me off.
Oh, shit.
Finally, the boss had an idea.
He sent me down to Melbourne
to a "How To Win Friends
and Influence People" course.
And the only thing
I can remember learning
was "Listen, don't talk."
Listen to them,
see what they're interested in,
and then only talk about that.
Don't bother with the car.
Listen, don't talk.
I started listening
to the customers...
So anyway, I was
saying to my friend,
it's gotta be the other leg
but then Rhonda says to me,
"What about the paintings?"
And then suddenly
I realized
I'm totally out of gas
and my pet turtle Shelly
needs to use the toilet.
Anyways, I'll take that one.
So, Shelly, she's in a mood.
One time she almost
took off my pinky finger.
But you know what?
Pulled it back,
gave her a carrot,
all was well.
God, what a twist.
My sales went up to 30 a month.
Excellent choice, sir.
All right, you're gonna love it.
And so, the boss now knew
that I knew about cars
and I also could sell them.
Next thing, he promotes me
to used car salesman.
(car horn honking)
The embassy people
had to get rid of their cars
and they'd come to me,
I was the embassy guy.
Au revoir.
Ta-ta, Raju.
My love to the wives.
There's no way that I would
have known it at the time
but getting out
from underneath that car
was putting me one step
closer to becoming James Bond.
Tell your friends
to stop by, say hi.
George Lazenby,
used car manager.
I was feeling good.
Selling cars,
going to embassy parties.
-Hey, sport.
-I started to get
more sophisticated
and understanding how
the classy guys operate.
Champagne, sir?
You don't mind a drop, do you?
And this one night,
I was invited to a party
and so I got
dressed up in a suit.
There was this one girl there...
...and she stunned me.
Her name was Belinda.
But she was with a boyfriend.
And I followed her
around all night,
trying to say
something to her alone.
But this guy, he was
stuck to her like that.
Caviar, sir?
It's Royal Beluga,
north of the Caspian.
I'm good, thanks, mate.
I was trying to get a spot
where I could talk to her
but he never left her side.
Even when she went
to the bathroom,
he'd wait outside.
And when she was leaving,
I don't know what
made me do it, but...
-it just came out of me.
-Excuse me?
I said, "I'm gonna
take you out next week."
You know, I don't know
how long I got,
let's get on with it.
I am gonna take
you out next week.
And they both looked at me
like, "He's a loony,
he's mad."
They didn't say a word,
they just left.
So then I found out
where she worked
and I called her
up and I said,
"I'd like to go out with you."
She said, uh, "I don't go
out with strangers, I can't."
And I said, "Well,
how about Sunday?"
I can take you out
during the day.
And she's working
as a dental nurse.
-Uh, uh...
-What do you say?
Uh, what's that;
I'll be right there.
-Uh, okay.
-Okay, great, thanks.
And she just said that
to get me off the line.
She rang, I suppose,
20 times to cancel
and I told all the guys,
"If she rings,
I'm not here," you know?
Because I knew she'd do that.
So I show up at
her place on Sunday.
As soon as I got there...
(man yelling)
What do you think
you're doing, mate?
...and her brother
jumps on me
and he's got a headlock on me.
You trying to fuck
my sister, huh?
-Your sister?
-Yeah, do you wanna know
what it feels like,
huh, fuck you, aye?
What the hell is wrong with you?
Yeah, fuck you!
And I'm trying to get
this headlock off me.
Oh, come on, now!
Deal with it!
Her mother came out and said...
Greg, get off him.
Sorry, Mum.
Bloody hell.
Just, uh, wait here
a moment, love,
I'll get Belinda for you.
I get invited in
the house by the mother
and the dad and this other guy
are sitting in
the living room...
You must be Belinda's dad.
You look just like her.
I'm George.
And I said to the other guy,
"Jesus, mate, you look
like Bob Menzies,
the prime minister."
And it was the
prime minister of Australia.
It's unbelievable.
Anyone ever told you that?
Oh my God.
-I got you these.
Sorry, they're a
little roughed up.
Your brother...
These are lovely.
I told you I was
gonna ask you out.
You did.
And here I am.
Here you are, okay.
Bye, Dad, bye, Bob.
Let's go.
-What, his name's Bob too?
-Of course it is.
-What a coincidence.
-What are we doing?
Oh, we're just going
up the river for a swim.
Then she said, "Up the river?"
"Yeah, it's a
great river up here,
we can go for a swim."
I wanted to get
her alone somewhere.
So is this where
you take all the girls?
Hey, what kind of guy
do you think I am?
No, this place
is special to me.
I used to come here
when I was a kid.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Yeah, it's nice
and private, you know?
We can do pretty much anything.
Can you unzip me?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
shall we?
Well, you don't actually
have to go for a swim.
Now, Belinda, hang on.
I thought she'd be too
afraid to go in the water.
She just took off in the water.
-Are you coming?
-When I said swimming
I didn't think we'd actually...
Come on.
I'm just a little rusty.
Um...oh God.
Go in, go!
Come on, let's go up the river.
-Come on.
-And I took off after her
and the fact is,
I was about to quit chasing her
when she stopped
and she told me if I couldn't
have kept up with her,
she'd never see me again.
-It's nice, huh?
-It's really nice.
So everything was working out.
We started seeing each other.
I had a date with her
at night three times
and the third one...
I like your perfume, that's...
-It's really nice.
-It smells good.
-Thank you.
I like that.
I'm being nice to her in the car
and she says,
"Are we gonna do it or not?"
Oh God, my heart
started going--
I was just doing
the right thing,
I didn't wanna blow it., now?
I thought, "This is her.
I'm doing it with her."
And my erection...
...just went down.
And I thought, "Oh my God,
what's happening?
This never happened before."
You okay?
Just give me one second,
I'm gonna get some fresh air.
Go out the next night,
the same thing.
Go out the next night,
the same thing.
And I'd want to
spank it, saying,
"What's the matter with you?"
because it had never
done it before, you know?
Who are you talking to?
Oh, uh, nobody.
Uh, I'll be there in a minute.
I was too in love with her,
too fascinated with her.
When you're in love,
you're intimidated
by these--by the love.
I don't know what it is.
I didn't know what to do.
And she says...
So my boyfriend--
or my ex-boyfriend
is coming into town.
And she was gonna
go to this Marine ball.
He's invited me
to this Marine ball.
-And I said...
-You go with him
and I'll never see you again.
-And she said...
-I have to go.
Can I tell you a secret?
I didn't get an erection.
So I went to the pub
and got totally drunk.
Lock me up and...
Lock me up,
throw away the key
because my dick
couldn't get hard.
Oh, okay, that's a crime, is it?
That's a crime?
Fuck off!
And I kept thinking
about Belinda
and her boyfriend.
Belinda's boyfriend
was in the Australian Army.
You can get
pretty bored sometimes.
You know, all the guys
are 18, 19, 20
so they can get a hard-on
at the drop of a hat.
And they have this competition.
They tie the boots together
and then hang them
on the penis
and see who can hang
the most boots on the penis
before it goes down.
Well, Belinda's boyfriend
was famous for winning
that competition.
So I was in a torturous state.
I'm in a torturous state.
And I got so drunk
and my mates wouldn't
even talk to me.
And I'm leaning
against the bar...
(door opening, bell ringing)
...and all I remember
is this white gown
coming through the door.
Next thing I remember
was waking up
in the morning.
There was a note.
"You were fantastic.
I've taken the car,
I'll see you for lunch."
I was fantastic?
And I don't even remember it
but I was okay from then on.
I was fantastic.
I totally fell in love.
She was the...
My idea of a perfect woman
was her.
My life was changing
because she was operating
on a different level than I was.
My family lived day-to-day.
If they had a bad day,
they wouldn't have
money for the next day.
She was high society.
Like, her mother's father
was governor-general
of New South Wales, lived in
a big castle down in Sydney.
I remember we had
a trip planned,
it was a black tie,
we go to dinner,
and then the father said,
"You're not invited, George."
In other words, I had to stay
at the house while Belinda went.
And Belinda looked at me
and looked at her dad and said,
"I'm not going
unless George goes."
So he left us both there.
He saw that I had
some control over her.
He didn't like me.
He, in fact, encouraged
her to go to London
to get away from me
for three months
and see what happens.
I've got the best job
that I could imagine,
I've got the girl
I wanted in my life,
and the most
important thing was her,
and she took my heart and
went to England with it.
I thought, "Three months,
that's a long time."
Next day, when she was out
in the ocean somewhere...
Man, I feel sick, she's gonna--
The salesmen were telling me,
"Girls go crazy when
they get out in the ocean."
All my mates.
She's probably got
another fill already.
Oh, come on.
We started writing to
each other after she left.
I was getting
five letters a day.
Then four.
And then three.
And all of a sudden,
no letters.
I was going to the post office.
"Hey, you must be mixed up."
"Uh-uh, we haven't got
any letters for you."
I knew that she
had someone else,
and I wanted to go over
there and get her back.
(boat whistle)
I got on a boat to
Tilbury, England,
and I was four
levels below water,
in bunks with three
other guys from Brisbane.
But the darn thing went
around Australia first.
I went to Melbourne,
Adelaide, Perth,
Singapore, and then
over to Delhi,
and then over to Port Said,
and there's another place
further up on the left,
probably it's in a war now,
I don't know what it is.
And then we hit Italy,
Marseille, and Gibraltar,
and then finally Tilbury.
When I first landed in London,
I expected to see Belinda there.
Every port I pulled into,
I'd write her saying
where I am, where I'll be,
telling her how in love
I was and everything else.
But here I am with
two big suitcases
and no Belinda.
She wasn't there.
I had her address, but there was
no one that answered the door.
I waited outside
where she lived
until the pubs closed.
I kept going to the
pub and coming back,
my suitcases were just
left there on the doorstep,
and she didn't come back.
Then I pulled a cab down,
I said, "I need a room,
I need a room somewhere."
And the cabbie said, "I know
exactly where to take you."
But I had a "g'day, mate,"
Australian accent... he took me
to Earl's Court,
got me a room where you sleep
with the doorknob in your mouth,
and it's so bloody small.
I kept thinking about Belinda.
Where is she?
Automatically, my mind's going,
"She's sleeping somewhere
with some guy, blah-blah-blah."
'Cause there's no way
of finding anybody
in England in those days.
In the '60s,
you couldn't find anybody.
You didn't have cell phones,
you didn't have
any way of doing it.
Does she look familiar?
I'd come all this way,
and she wasn't there.
I'm thinking, "Oh my God,
what have I done?
About three months later,
I was in the Earl's Court
business club,
and I was alone
feeling sorry for myself
when a guy from
my hometown said,
"I just saw Belinda
down the road in a pub."
I said, "What?"
My heart starts going like this.
And my heart stopped.
There she was, and she's with
the whole Oxford cricket team,
and her boyfriend is the captain
of the Oxford cricket team,
I found out.
I want to talk to you outside.
And she says, "Whatever
you got to say to me,
say to me here."
No, I want to talk
to you outside.
You heard what she said.
My fist came out, bang,
even before he got the line out.
I don't know,
it was just instinctive.
All right, get in.
Went around the other
side of the car...
and she jumped out.
And all these cricketers
are coming out towards me.
I said, "Oh, shit.
I'm gonna get beat up
if I hang out here."
I was confounded,
devastated, lost.
I didn't know what to do.
And then it was only
a few weeks later
that I didn't have any money,
and so I went down to
where the car dealers are
and I said, "I need a job."
I was almost concluding
that this relationship
wasn't meant to be,
and I was going through
the withdrawal of that,
and a couple of days
later, I got a letter.
She wrote, "We can see
each other platonically."
what the hell does that mean?
I think it means emotionally,
like spiritually,
like seeing each
other eye-to-eye.
I don't think that's right.
-She underlined it.
That's good.
I said, "Well,
better than nothing."
She said, "We can see
parts of England together."
My lady.
And I went and asked the driver
who delivers cars,
"Where's the furthest car
you got this weekend?"
I said, "I'll take it for you,
I'll do it for nothing."
Said, "Bristol,"
which is not a--
it's not a tourist resort.
-Bristol, here we come.
Can't wait, I hear good things.
She said, "I'll go...
I know what that means.
Always did, didn't
have to look it up.
This "platonic" word
was starting to bug me.
You look lovely.
Oh, thank you.
We go over there and
we're having dinner.
I could smell her.
Here, you're falling behind.
Oh, that's--that's
fine, thank you.
Finish her off.
It was something else.
You know, just smell
and taste and touch
has got a lot to do
with who you're with
and how much you love.
God, if it gets any
livelier up here,
a funeral's gonna break out.
Tonight was, um,
it's really nice.
It was, wasn't it?
-This is me.
-This is me, so...
-Good night.
-Good night.
I'll see you in the morning.
-See you in the morning.
What she didn't know is
that I had stolen a key
to her room from
the reception desk,
and so I'd just give her
time to get tucked in
and be naked, hopefully,
then I'll go to her room
and surprise her.
I'm thinking, "I can't wait
to get back with her,
I can't wait."
Next thing, my stomach
starts to rumble.
And I got the worst
diarrhea I have ever had.
Every time I walked to the door,
I had to turn around and
go back to the bathroom.
Every time I walked to the door.
I just was sick,
and then I'd wash myself
and start to go back
to the door again.
Nope, nope, you are
gonna man up and...
I did this about
six or seven times.
Wait, six or seven times?
Didn't you think that maybe
you should give up after one?
Well, no, I was, you know,
bathing myself well
and hoping I could go out.
You know, it'd be
embarrassing there
if you were in the
middle of it and, uh,
getting brown smoke
out of your butt.
-Oh, thank you.
Saw her next morning
for breakfast,
and she said to me...
I'd bet anything
you would've tried to get
into my room last night.
You've changed.
What can I say?
I have.
This was fun.
Yeah, it was.
Thanks for coming.
I'm very glad that I did.
We were driving back to London,
and we're on the
motorway, the M4...
Wow, it's really coming down.
It was a dark night and rainy.
I'll just pull over up here
just to be on the safe side.
And I could just see
the lights of London,
I said, "I'm gonna do it."
And I went down
under the freeway.
Grabbed hold of her.
And we made love.
I was looking at her,
and she was sort of...
up against the window crying.
Next thing she turns
around and comes at me,
and I put my hand up,
I thought she was gonna hit me
'cause she was crying.
I love you.
I still love you.
Move in with me.
I can't, my dad would kill me.
He's not gonna be there.
This place isn't big enough.
You'd have had my
dad to live with you?
I'd put up with him if you--
Come here.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I love you so much.
I love you.
All right, I'll see you tonight.
Have a great day, honey!
She moved into my place,
and I thought I'd died
and gone to heaven.
That's why I came to
London, was for her.
I'd moved on from
a little car dealership
to Mercedes-Benz in Park Lane,
and there was a guy
who was a photographer,
Charles Jenkins,
he walks in one day
and we're looking at this
particular Mercedes, he says,
"Look, I'll tell you what..."
I'll buy this off you
if you let me take
some pictures of you.
I said, "Hello, I got
a homosexual on my hands."
Why would anyone want
to take pictures of a man?
That's how naive I was.
So, I sent Belinda along.
Then he comes back to me,
he took pictures of her
'cause he's polite...
No, you fool, I want to
take some pictures of you.
I said, "What are
you talking about?"
I didn't know there was
such a thing as male models.
I just thought people took
pictures of people smoking
or on horses or whatever,
that's how it happened.
He said, "You're in."
You know, they're looking
for men like you.
You know, rugged guys.
Rugged guys are in now.
Oh, George, you look fabulous.
Let's have another one.
Oh, you were born to do this.
What do you call
them, head faces?
These are your
head shots, darling.
-Head shots?
-Head shots, of your face.
He says, "There's
a lot of money in it.
Take these pictures down
to Scotty's Modeling Agency
in Bond Street."
I thought, you know,
it was a waste of time,
but what the hell?
So I waited there
half my lunch hour.
They didn't come out to see me.
They knew I was there,
but they didn't come out.
So I just threw 'em up
in the air and walked out.
The next thing, they call me.
Said, "You've gotta get up to
Times Building straight away.
Bert Stern, one of the biggest
photographers in the world,
wants to use you."
He had lost the male model
he was working with
'cause the babies
he was working with
were above his head
and he was holding them
and they were all peeing on him,
and after the third one,
he said, "To hell with this,"
and walked out.
Next thing I know,
I've got the job.
Smile, smile at
this enfant, smile.
He's a cute little kid, eh?
You know, I thought, "Well,
it's a job, what the hell?"
You are doing very well,
George, very well.
Ooh, um, you're about
to burst, aren't you?
Oh, yeah.
Then they peed at me, too.
I'd just duck it and
dive it, and, you know,
I didn't get upset, you know,
I was just dodging baby piss.
Ugh, what have you
been feeding this baby?
Well guess what happened,
it came out three months later
and everybody wants me.
W-wait, I want
to pause there.
How much of this story
that you've told me is true?
-Which one?
-The whole story.
Hey, how can I remember
it if it wasn't true?
There'll be a change
in the weather
And a change in the sea
I became one of Europe's top
models, male models, overnight.
So I'm booked up
seven days a week.
I had to give up my job.
Yes, I'll just, uh,
grab the old...
putting wedge.
I'm sophisticated.
I didn't know anything
about modeling, I just--
I didn't even know
where the camera was.
I mean, I don't even know what
the hell I'm advertising here.
The whiskey or the chair?
And then this job came along
that's called "Big Fry,"
the biggest commercial project
in London at the time.
Big Fry comes into
town, boom-boom,
with a big box of chocolates.
Big Fry's are comin' by
Yeah, yeah
Big Fry
It was fun.
They hired little
people around me,
so most people thought
I was seven foot tall
or eight foot tall, so they
didn't really recognize me.
I mean, I used
to see things like
"I'd like to meet Big Fry"
written on toilet walls.
My life was on the up and up.
I'd just settled
with my girlfriend,
and we're all happy
and everything.
Then I was asked to go
on a job down to Spain
with three beautiful girls.
Oh, it's a party!
All right!
So the first night I'm there,
there's this girl,
she's from Germany,
her name was Gundel.
She was one of
Germany's top models,
and she was a stunner.
Is something the matter?
Uh, no, no, not at all.
In fact, everything is perfect.
It is, isn't it?
I'm thinking, "Oh, God,
I'm in trouble."
Eyes up here, George.
Uh, yeah.
Please, stay focused.
George, could you
pass me a banana?
Not that one.
The bigger one.
We worked together for two
weeks and I behaved myself.
Then I'm at the airport
to go to London,
and she came up
to me and she said,
"I'm going to see
my mother in Minorca.
Would you like to come?"
I was shocked, I said,
"But my bag, my bag's
going to London."
And she said...
Oh, too bad.
I never saw that bag again.
I just called Belinda
and said I'll be--
I've been extended a week.
And she said, "Okay,
I'll see you in a week."
And when I got back...
...she, uh, she knew that
I'd been with someone else.
She was smart.
I cried over her before,
when I couldn't find her.
Then when I found her
and just living out
your fantasy with her,
doing what you thought
you might've done.
Then I think the picture
changed in my mind, you know,
in the subconscious mind.
(door closing)
I was being untrue to the girl
I was living with, loving.
I was sad.
So that was the end of Belinda.
(rain pouring)
So Belinda moved out,
lived with her father who
was in London at the time.
And it's a strange thing,
you'd think that I'd be
broken-hearted for years.
But it was a different era.
It was make love, not war.
And I was a young, 24-year-old,
crazy Australian,
and girls were--not all girls,
but some were attracted to it.
It was the craziest sexual
time that I'd ever had.
The women in the '60s were
just as sexual-orientated
as the men, and they
were breaking out.
G'day, mate, Ken,
male model/actor.
-Good to meet you.
-I was modeling in Germany
and I met a guy
called Ken Gaherity,
who was a fellow
Australian model.
We got to know each
other fairly well
through mainly women.
So, uh, what are you
doing after work?
-Oh, um...
-Yeah, well, Ken and I
were just thinking about having
a get-together at our place.
Yeah, a little Truth or Dare?
Here's how it works,
we'd truthfully tell you
that we want to
make love with you,
and then we dare you to do it.
I'd pull the women
off the street
and I'd take 'em into
Ken's place, and...
Next thing you know,
we got a threesome going.
We did this dozens of times,
and it was sometimes
two or three times a day.
No, you're not quite
getting it, say it with me.
Yeah, you know, you've got
a very... talented tongue,
I can tell.
There was this one day
I picked up a girl
at King's Road.
I said to her, "Come up,
we gotta meet a friend of
mine, have a cup of tea."
-All right.
And we're sitting up there
having a cup of tea,
and then she said,
"Well, I've gotta go now."
No, no, you shouldn't
go anywhere.
-And Ken said,
"I put acid in your tea.
And I put it in
yours, too, George."
What's that?
And I didn't know what acid was.
He goes, "LSD.
Haven't you ever heard of it?"
He's not the sort of
guy you could trust.
It makes walls melt,
your brain feel
like it's on fire.
What are you three
talking about?
-I weigh a thousand pounds.
I weigh a thousand pounds
and my legs are bicycles.
Next thing, I saw my breath
going across the room
and the curtains moving.
My arms are also bicycles.
And I'm thinking, my god,
Ken, what have you done?
It's weird, I can taste colors.
Well, I might hit the hay.
What do you say,
you going to come?
And I'm laying in bed
and all of a sudden,
I'm looking in this guy's ear.
And I say, "Whose ear is that?"
Whose ear is that?
Then I went back a little bit
and still couldn't
figure it out.
Went right up to the ceiling.
Whose ear is that?
And I looked over, I saw her.
Said, "That's
the girl I'm with!
Shit, that's me!"
I was looking in my own ear,
I didn't even know!
Zoom, back in the body.
Now it's daylight
the next morning,
and she said, "Can you
get me out of here?"
I thought I'd only
been there an hour.
So I take her downstairs
and there's a line of
people on the bus stop
going to work
on the King's Road.
And they're all staring at us.
And I'm going, "What
are you staring at?"
I look down,
I had no clothes on.
I had my clothes
underneath my arm
and so did she.
We thought we'd put them on.
That's how out of it we were.
It was a crazy time in my life,
but it was about
to get even crazier.
So I was hanging out with Ken,
and he said to me,
"Hey, mate, got to
help me out tomorrow."
I said, "What?"
He said, "My girlfriend's
coming back into town,"
and he had
double-booked himself.
Got a meeting with an agent
that I've been wanting to meet
for so long.
Well, yeah, but
it was an agent.
Film agent.
Ken was just doing modeling
to get some money.
He really wanted to be an actor.
You've gotta help me out.
Can't stand her up.
She's going to take
you to a screening.
-What's that?
-I had no idea.
Well, they show movies
that haven't come out yet.
Can you do it for me?
Okay, I'll do it.
That's great!
-That's great.
-No worries.
-Great, great.
-Yeah, it's fine.
Thanks, man.
No worries.
-You all right, love?
That's how casual it was.
I went the next day and
there was Maggie Abbott.
Wackadoo, hey?
So you're a friend of Ken's.
Yeah, yeah, we've
mucked about a bit.
Are you close with Ken?
Oh, we see each other
once in a while.
Mm, yeah, same,
we have mutual friends.
Friends who connect us.
Sort of--yeah.
Can't remember the movie we saw,
but I saw the Rolling Stones.
Know the Rolling Stones?
Do I know the Rolling Stones?
And I saw the Beatles there.
You know Paul McCartney?
Of course, of course.
They all show up
at these screenings
and I was very impressed.
I'm very impressed.
I was now sitting in the middle
of all these important people.
And agents and people,
I was told later,
were asking who I was.
I went back to Paris,
I was living in Paris,
and I was in a girl's
house who I just met.
And she says, "Pour tu."
She passes me the phone--for me.
I said, "It can't be,
nobody knows I'm with you."
And it's Maggie Abbott.
George, it's Maggie Abbott.
Maggie had rung my house.
My roommate had sent I went
to La Coupole restaurant.
Rang the matre d'
and the matre d' says
I left with this girl,
and she called me.
Wouldn't you think I would
think that's important?
What do you want me for?
There's a film I think
that you're right for.
What's the name of it?
Well, I'm not going
to tell you on the phone.
Get straight back
to London, George.
And I hung up and I went off
making love with this girl
and forgot about it.
About three or four weeks later,
I was back in London with Ken,
and he asked me, "What
did Maggie want you for?"
I don't know, she
wouldn't tell me.
God, she was just calling
everywhere looking for you.
Why didn't you call her?
I don't know.
Mate, I'm not an actor.
She wanted me to act
in a movie or something.
Come on.
Let's go find her.
Ken, we're right
in the middle of a--
So we went up to her office
and she told Ken to wait outside
while she talks to me.
All right, you got me here.
Now what do you want with me?
And she said, "I think
you're right for James Bond."
-I said, "What?"
"What makes you say that?"
She said, "You're just
very sure of yourself."
Very arrogant.
They're looking for this.
And I didn't know that
arrogance was a bad word,
so I said, "Thank you."
You've gotta get in
to see Dyson Lovell,
the casting director.
Go down there.
Let him see you.
James Bond, eh...Bond.
And she said, "Go down
there and let him see you."
Yeah, all right.
But she didn't tell me
I had to sneak in.
I went down, just walked in.
Get in, walk in.
G'day, love.
I'm here to see a Dyson Lovell.
George Lazenby.
I'm sorry, no,
you're not on the list.
Um, you sure--you want
to double-check?
Maggie Abbott
told me to come by.
This job is for
union actors only.
Are you in the union?
Yeah--oh no, of course.
Yeah, absolutely,
lifelong member.
Call them if you want, ask them.
-All right.
-Well, don't call them now.
I mean, it's
probably a bit early.
Don't want to wake them up.
Which union are you in?
The main one, the big one.
-Yep, that's the one.
I'm sorry, you're
going to have to leave.
You're up, love.
Daniel, lovely to see you.
And the woman kicks me out,
says no, you're not on the list.
So I called up Maggie.
-Maggie Abbott.
Said they wouldn't let me in.
-They wouldn't even see me.
-(Maggie sighs)
And she said, "You've
got to get in there!"
Just--just get past that girl.
Channel your inner James Bond.
Do whatever it takes
to get in that room.
Fortunately, I saw all
these guys there waiting
who were looking
like Sean Connery,
and I wasn't.
So I went out and I knew,
when I was a car salesman,
that Sean Connery got his
hair cut down the road.
After that, I went
to his tailor.
Went in there, I said,
I want a suit
like Sean Connery.
Can you do it for me today?
They went, "Huh!"
Six months, my friend.
Well, jeez.
What about that one?
That's Connery's.
A suit he didn't pick up.
Hasn't picked it up in months.
Off about the world doing
some photo shoot or something.
Is that right?
I thought, Jesus, if they're
looking for James Bond,
they want me to look like that.
You know, on second thought,
I'll just get that hat.
That one?
Mm-hm, that's the one.
Very well, sir.
So here I've got Connery's suit.
I already had a Rolex.
I got my hair cut where
he got his hair cut.
I go back, I wait
outside the door,
and the girl at the desk
who wouldn't let me in,
she bends down
to get something
and I just run right
past her up the stairs,
and she's going,
"Hey, you, stop!"
No, Harry, look, we're talking
about replacing Sean Connery,
it's not an easy thing to do.
Dyson Lovell,
the casting director,
was on the phone
talking to Harry Saltzman.
Listen, we are going
to find this guy.
No, Roger Moore is
totally wrong for it.
Hold on... who are you?
And I was standing there
with my hand like this,
with the Rolex.
I said, "I heard you're
looking for James Bond."
I didn't have any
acting experience.
But to me, you know,
as a car salesman,
you don't know what
this car's about,
but you'll tell
everybody it's good
so you can sell
the bloody thing.
He said, "Harry,
there's a guy out here
I think you should see."
And Harry said,
"Bring him over."
Let's go.
And as we were
walking across the road,
he was saying, "Tell me
your life story."
I said, "What"?
Tell me what you've done.
How many movies have you done,
what have you--
where have you worked?
Oh, jeez--China, Hungary.
Russia, Ukraine.
All the countries
I could think of
that they wouldn't
be able to check on.
Well, I think
it's pretty simple.
He's a distributor!
He's supposed
to distribute movies!
We get up there and Harry
has got an intimidating office.
It's simple.
And Harry was sitting there
with his feet up on the desk,
and he points for me to sit
right at the bottom of his feet.
I don't like sitting
in front of people's feet.
-That's his job!
So I went over and
looked out the window.
You're an idiot,
you're an idiot!
You know what,
I gotta go, I gotta go.
Who are you?
I said, "George Lazenby."
He said, "Tell me
your life story."
I thought, "Oh my god,
I've just told him
a bunch of lies;
if I screw up--"
I was shitting myself
underneath all this.
I said, "I'm getting
in over my head."
I said, "I just told him,
let him tell you."
Oh! Um... he's been working--
My attitude got to him.
Every other actor
he'd had in there
did exactly what he asks.
And Hungary... um, yes.
He said to Dyson Lovell,
he said, "Where's the director?
Where's Peter Hunt?"
Uh, he's in Switzerland
doing location hunting.
When will he be back?
Four o'clock on Friday, sir.
Harry said, "Be here
four o'clock on Friday."
I said, "I can't be
here at four o'clock."
Why can't you be here?
I said, "I gotta
get out of here,
these guys are gonna
find out I'm a phony."
I said, "I'm doing
a film in Paris,"
which is bullshit.
How much are they paying you?
I said, "500 pound a day,"
which was about
50 weeks' wages.
All right, go down
and see Stanley Sopel
and he'll give you 500 pounds.
Be here four o'clock on Friday.
Stanley Sopel, okay.
What are you so confused about?
Get the fuck out of here.
I couldn't say anything to that.
So then I go out
and I ring Maggie.
So, how did you do?
Well, they gave me 500 pounds
to come back tomorrow.
Oh, George, be serious.
-How did you do?
-Maggie, I got the check
in my hand, 500 pounds.
She said, "What did you do?"
What did you do?
Nobody gives anybody 500 pounds
to come back for a callback.
Well, I can show you,
if you'd like.
-What are you doing tonight?
-Bye, George.
(sighs with satisfaction)
I get to see
Peter Hunt on Friday.
I go into the office.
So, they flew me
all the way back
from my location
scouts in Switzerland
just to meet you.
And he is fuming.
He was pissed off
when I walked in.
Because of me,
he had to come back.
Looking at me like,
"So tell me.
What have you done?"
(clears throat)
I don't know what
made me do this,
but I just came out
with it, I said...
I've never acted in front
of a camera in my life."
Do you mean to tell me
you've never acted
a day in your life?
And he looked at me
for a few seconds.
(maniacal laughter)
And he was holding his stomach,
looking around the room
(clears throat)
Do you realize
you've fooled two of
the most ruthless men
that I know?
Stick to your story
and I'll make you
the next James Bond.
"On Her Majesty's
Secret Service."
That's kind of a long title.
Peter was on my side.
He wanted me to be
the next James Bond,
but he took me over to meet
Broccoli and Saltzman.
And they'd already
investigated my background.
Big fries are comin' by
-Yeah, yeah!
- Big Fry
Here comes Big Fry.
We go into the office,
and Harry said,
"Get him out of here,
he's a clothes peg.
We'll be the laughingstock
of the industry."
Because in those days,
no one used a male
model as an actor.
Peter said, "I want to test him
whether you like it or not."
You're wrong here.
You're acting like
a buffoon, stop it.
It's my money!
Listen, he's gonna be Bond
whether he likes it,
-whether you like it...
-Peter says,
"I'll test him at
your place, Harry.
No one will know."
I don't want to have
this discussion again.
We're testing him,
done, goodbye, goodbye.
Screen test, Lazenby, take one.
(slate snaps)
The screen test is where
they put you on camera
to see what you look like.
They want to see
how you move,
how you talk.
And there were
300 tested on film.
And I was doing one for stunts.
They said, "Do you ride horses?"
I said, "Yes, since
I was this high."
So they brought one over
and it's got no saddle on it.
I just grabbed it by the mane
and jumped on it, took off.
And I rode it until
it ran out of steam.
They said, "You can ride
a horse, that's for sure."
Then they took me
to the swimming pool.
I thought I impressed them
by swimming
underneath the water.
So I dived in and
came up the other end.
"No, on top of the water!
Want to see you swim!"
I had to first of all
get past Harry and Cubby,
because when I was a male model,
they wanted to chop me out.
I was inside, not showing it,
that I'm way over my head here.
I'm just going
to make a fool of myself.
(knocking at door)
And one night,
this guy came to my door.
Can I help you?
He had this
beautiful girl with him.
Said, "She wants
to make love with you."
I said, "What?"
She stripped her gear off.
Please come in.
Interesting design in here.
(panting, moaning)
I got on her and
he was sitting in
a chair right next to me.
I'm saying, "Aren't
you going to join in?"
I thought he'd be
going second or something.
He said, "No, no, no,
that's all right."
And I thought,
"He's a bloody pervert."
(crunching into apple)
It's just hard to concentrate.
The next thing I know,
she gets dressed and leaves.
Uh...thank you?
They said you were a male model,
and the studio, they were
afraid you were gay.
But you're not, so.
I had no idea at the
time it was a test.
I just thought
I got lucky, you know?
I went through
a series of tests
that went on for four months.
Mm--shaken, not stirred.
After all of that,
United Artists wanted
to see me do a fight scene.
Peter Hunt kept saying,
"He's Australian!
All Australians can fight."
The stunt men gave me
five minutes' training.
-Missed the first
couple of guys,
and one of the
stunt guys came up
and I hit him
right in the chin.
He went down, he's wriggling
on the ground like this.
I'm thinking, "Oh my god,
what have I done?"
Harry steps over
and grabs my arm,
takes me up against the wall.
We're going with you.
-I said, "It's about time."
-It's about time.
I said, "Thank you very much."
Harry said, "You should
call your mother."
Call your mother!
So I call up Mum,
she says, "Oh, hello, son."
And I said, "Mum, I just
got the James Bond job."
"Oh, did you?
You know your
license has run out."
If someone told me back
when I was in my teens even
that I would one day
become James Bond,
I would think
he's out of his mind.
I felt that every man
wanted to be like him.
I did.
Here's a guy who had every
thing that every man wanted.
He used to win at gambling,
he always got the girl,
and he could shoot
people who got in his way.
I mean, what more
could a man want?
My name is Pussy Galore.
I must be dreaming.
So I had the role,
providing I didn't
mention it to anybody.
They had the cover
of Life magazine,
front-page picture of me
as the new James Bond,
before anybody else.
And Harry said, "Get lost.
Go to my travel agency,
go anywhere,
call me when you get there."
He didn't want any of the other
press people to get hold of me.
So I went off around
the South of France.
And guess who I called?
(phone rings)
My heart was just pounding.
I told her that I got
the role of James Bond.
That's incredible.
I want you here
with me to celebrate,
just like old times.
Her dad picked the phone up.
Oh, you got lucky,
George, I hear?
I said, "Yeah, yeah, I did,"
and he didn't
like me, of course.
Classwise he was
on the top of the heap
and I was somewhere
around the bottom.
I felt "Now, Jack, I'm on
your level," you know?
He said, "What are you
going to do with my daughter
down in the South of France?"
I said, "Nothing I
haven't done before."
Did he just say, "Nothing
I haven't done before?"
Yes, that's
exactly what he said.
(slams receiver down)
And she got on a plane,
she was heading down
to the South of France
from London.
(phone rings)
But in those two hours,
Harry calls me up.
He said, "Hey, get
your ass back to London."
I said, "What for?"
He said, "We're having
a press conference tomorrow."
What's the matter?
And I said, "I've gotta go
back to London straight away."
Yeah, I--things are
so crazy right now.
But it's good, really good,
but I just got a phone call
and they need me
back there now,
I have to go.
When are you coming back?
Oh, god, tomorrow,
day after tomorrow, max.
-I promise.
So I sent her to the hotel,
and I said, "I'll come
back as soon as I can,
it'll probably be tomorrow
or the day after tomorrow."
Never happened.
I thought that I'd be back
in a couple of days.
I had no idea
it would be many years
before I saw her again.
She, meanwhile, got
married and had kids.
We ran into each other
I think it was about
20 years later.
Life would have been different
if I'd have come back.
She was a beauty, good woman.
I just...
You know, it's one
of those things
when timing doesn't work out
the way you want it to
and it was meant to be.
Tell me, what were
you doing before this?
I was a model.
If you want to go right back,
I was a salesman and
a mechanic before that.
What really drew you
to applying for this job?
Well, it was on the
recommendation of a friend
called Maggie Abbott.
Peter Hunt, you have
there next to you
a man who is not an actor
and who is going to be
perhaps the most famous actor
in the years to come.
No, you're making a mistake.
Nobody's going to make
him a famous actor.
They're going to
make him a film star.
There were a lot of press there
from all different countries.
And I was sipping on
a white wine or something
and smoking a cigarette,
just talking to them.
I didn't know what I was doing.
What worries you most
about taking on
a multi-million-dollar
movie like this?
Being able to do it well.
That's what I'm hoping
to be able to do.
And I was thinking,
"What the fuck have
I got myself into?"
So we went off to Switzerland,
and now it's time
to shoot the movie.
I'd never been on a film set.
You've got hundreds of crew,
you've got stunt crew,
you've got helicopters,
and it's really
a big, big thing.
And you're the central figure.
Everyone was experienced
in the major roles.
Diana Rigg and Telly Savalas.
They'd been working
as actors for decades.
George, obviously, there's
going to be some comparison
between yourself
and Sean Connery.
How do you think
this comparison
will affect your image?
Sean Connery
created James Bond.
How can I be better
than Sean Connery
playing James Bond?
Bond, James Bond.
I'm not an actor,
I never had any thoughts
that I might
be good as him,
because he created the
character from his character,
from his personality.
I realized very early
that people wanted to see
Sean Connery's version.
I had a "G'day, mate"
Australian accent
that they couldn't
use for James Bond.
And they said, "He's
gotta change his walk too,"
because when they
put me on CinemaScope,
I walked like this,
and so I'd go right
across the screen.
So they said,
"Gotta change his walk
and you gotta change
his accent."
So it wasn't,
"My name's Bond,
James Bond.
Hey, give us a martini.
Shake it, stir it,
I don't care,
I'll drink anything.
My voice coach, she would
lay me down on the floor...
My name's Bond.
Put a match in my mouth...
James Bond.
Then draw that out.
James Bond.
But she'd stop
the muscles moving
that creates the
Australian accent.
Make you talk
like an Englishman.
My oh my, what a
lovely ceiling you have.
I had to be
this English toughie.
My, what a lovely
ceiling you have.
Moneypenny, shut up.
You shut your mouth,
Miss Moneypenny.
My name's Bond,
James Bond.
And then as I was leaving,
my voice coach said:
"You know...
I feel sorry for you."
And I thought,
"Sorry for me, why?"
Said, "You're taking
on a hell of a role."
Your life is
going to change.
Next day,
we're doing the titles.
They said, "Do it the way
Connery does it."
"Just turn and shoot."
-I don't know why I did it.
-On the first take,
for some reason or other,
I went to one knee...
What was that?
Must turn and shoot.
I said the way
Connery does it.
What's this
kneeling down business?
What's the point of
doing it like Connery?
You've got Lazenby.
Do it like George
doing Connery.
Standing, turning,
standing, shooting.
No kneeling down.
So just a turn
and shoot then.
Turn and shoot.
-Did that.
-Like Connery.
Write down "silly."
He's being a silly boy.
(clearing throat)
Here we go.
Oh, now you're
having a little laugh.
No, I thought I saw
someone behind me.
Oh, yes,
of course you did.
Do you want to play games?
Sure, we'll play
games with him.
Isn't this fun?
Back to one, let's go.
Behave yourself now.
It's your time too.
But out of the first two,
which--which one
did you prefer?
Quit it!
I've had enough
of this bullshit.
I think I'm getting
it, I'm getting it.
Stop mucking about
and do it right.
My God, I've had it.
I'm taking five,
everyone take five.
That's it, come on.
It was a warning shot.
I thought that's how
the blood trickles down
in front of the camera.
In my film,
they used the one
that they told
me not to do.
I'm so creative.
Good morning.
My name's Bond,
James Bond.
And after a while,
I started having
fun with it.
I--I really didn't know
whether I was good or not.
I was just doin'
the best I could.
You're very sure of
yourself, aren't you?
Suppose I were to
kill you for a thrill.
I can think of something
more sociable to do.
I was working
with good people.
Telly Savalas,
Diana Rigg, and...
Angela Scoular.
She was quite funny.
We played a trick
on Angela.
Angela had to
put her hand up
inside the kilt,
and put a room number
on the side of my leg.
And so just before that,
the props guys heated
up a big German sausage...
and taped it to
the inside of my leg
when I had a kilt on.
Of course,
if you think so, Fraulein.
And she put the
hand up there...
And completes the scene
without a reaction.
And all the crew
guys are goin'...
And then she
whispers in my ear,
"You got no pants on."
Is anything the matter?
Just a slight
stiffness coming on.
All right,
let's do take two.
There was all kinds
of crazy stuff.
Stunt fighting.
Hangin' off ropes.
I can remember
the knife thrower
couldn't hit
the target.
I'd been throwing knives
ever since a little kid.
So I took over
the knife throwing.
One of the stuntmen said,
"George shouldn't be
jumpin' out of the helicopters
and hangin' off cables.
What if he dies?"
He said, "No one's
seen him yet.
We can get a new one
and do it all over again."
After a while, I felt
really comfortable on the set,
and if I was in fear,
I wouldn't show it.
I think he's
a little bit of every man,
or at least every man
thinks he...
has some of
James Bond in him.
Have you seen
our new James Bond?
He's tall, dark,
and handsome.
I was startin' to feel,
you know, important
in my own self.
I think he's gorgeous.
'Cause I'm no longer
a male model,
I'm now a superstar.
I think he's very sexy
and very confident,
a natural for
James Bond.
Luck be a lady tonight
There were a lot of
women on the film.
Luck be a lady tonight
And thank God for that,
because I was
there nine months.
(clears throat)
And you get to know them.
How do you do?
Thank you.
Like, uh...
which one do
you fancy first?
I remember one morning
I opened the door.
The girls got one
of the stunt dolls.
They had a note on it,
"Here's one you
haven't had, George."
That's true.
You were having fun.
They were having
fun with me.
I don't even
know your name.
I'll tell you
all about myself...
(speaking French poorly)
Another coffee,
atta boy.
On my day off,
I was in a cafe,
and all of a sudden,
the front of the shop
was completely smothered
with people telling
other people that,
"That's James
Bond in there.
That's the new one."
And that kind of gave
me a little bigger head.
Ah, it's all right.
I can remember being
in the production office
one day on the film.
I'm here to get
my per diem.
To get my per diem.
It was a hundred
dollars a week.
How come I'm only makin'
a hundred dollars a week?
How much the
other fella get?
Says, "A thousand a week."
And I looked at Harry
with a look like...
"I'm doing the same thing."
Fine, give him
a thousand a week.
-That was my confidence.
-Good on you, Harry.
Where other people were
going around kissing ass,
I'd be tellin'
'em what I want.
I said, "Peter,
that's the last time
I do my own bloody
stunts, you bastard."
They allowed me to
have private planes
and go into town.
So I'd take one
of the girls with me.
Oh, sorry--ooh,
I have a feeling
there's a little bit
of turbulence here.
It's okay, I've got you.
You feel better?
I'd find somewhere
to go every night.
I said, "Telly,
you get a haircut."
That's the truth.
I was drinking at least
a bottle of vodka a day.
Whoa, I was about to say!
Mm, more, more,
more, more.
And smoking, you know,
as many weeds as I could.
That's Bond,
that's the new Bond!
Oh, is that him?
-What's his name?
-Hey, Bond!
I didn't go to bed
till three or four
in the morning
every night.
It's a fascinating
experience, fame.
Changed my life
in lots of ways.
People would
offer me money
to go to a party,
to show up
at their party.
And it's not me,
I didn't do that.
It was James Bond.
You know, "James Bond's
comin' to my party."
You know, that's
not George Lazenby.
Were you aware of
that at the time?
Uh, not totally.
You kind of...
you think you're somebody,
you know, until the
rug gets pulled out
from under you.
The new Bond.
If you think you
know your Bond,
think again.
This one's different.
It's true!
George Lazenby.
The different Bond.
So after we
wrapped the movie,
the film was coming out,
and I hadn't seen it,
but I must have done
a pretty good job
because they
wanted me to sign
for six more Bond films.
The film is a fantastic
box office success.
But in America,
Mr. Lazenby himself
has been voted the most
promising newcomer
of the year.
I went the whole film
without signing the contract.
And the United Artists
were getting
on their case.
"How could you let
that guy finish the movie
without signing
the contract?"
So they had to
coax me along.
Sign the fucking contract.
It was called
a slave contract
where they tell
you how to dress
and what you can do
and what you can't do,
what kind of films
you can be in.
It's simple.
Sign it, become rich.
What have we here?
That's when Harry
offered me
a million dollars
under the table.
To sign the effing contract.
Ronan O'Rahilly, who was
my manager at the time,
said, "Don't worry
about that,
there's a guy called
Clint Eastwood.
He's gettin' 500 grand.
You'll be able
to make two movies
in six weeks,
you'll get a million bucks."
Go ahead.
I'll have to
think about it.
You're an idiot.
You really are an idiot.
What's there to think about?
And he got up
and stomped off
because if I won't
change my mind
for a million dollars,
what can I do?
He's a man who appears
to know his own mind,
and has maintained
a stubborn sense
of individuality.
He grew a beard,
for instance,
and refused
to shave it off
for the film premiere.
I naturally
grew a beard
because first of all,
it would stop me
being recognized,
and I can remember
gettin' a call saying:
Don't come to the
premiere of the movie
if you're gonna
have a beard.
You ruin everything
with your beard!
Don't you get it?
Bond doesn't
have a beard!
Hippie piece of...
But I did show up...
with a beard.
It was, you know,
royal premiere.
I was recognized
and photographed.
And I was standing
in line meeting the royals.
The producers didn't
want me to go there,
but I had these guys
by the short and curlies,
'cause they had
finished the movie
and I hadn't
signed the contract.
When the film
was finished,
you went on
a publicity tour
of the United States,
which you paid
for yourself.
Uh, on principle.
Uh, I was promised
a tour of the United States
to publicize the film.
I was looking
forward to it.
And because of
my beard and long hair,
I wasn't allowed to go.
I was allowed to go
on the condition
that I looked
like James Bond.
The new James Bond.
Will you welcome
George Lazenby?
Most people wanted to
meet the new James Bond.
People like...
that guy.
And I said,
well, anyone--
anyone can understand
that James Bond
isn't a real person,
and they're not gonna
mind the fact that I--
that I haven't had
a shave for a month.
Welcome, and, George,
very good to have you with us.
One doesn't think of
James Bond with a beard.
Do you wear
a beard in the film?
Uh, no, David,
as, um...
as a matter of fact, uh,
I'm out of the film now
and I'm George Lazenby
again, you see?
They wanted me to stay
in the image of Bond
at all times.
Do you carry on
the James Bond thing
offstage, off camera?
No, like I said before,
James Bond was, uh...
me being an actor,
as an actor.
And I don't think anyone
can carry on that way.
It's a tough
umbrella to walk under,
that James Bond thing.
It's great
entertainment, James Bond,
but I don't think
it happens to us
in our real life.
You know, you've gotta
be real with yourself,
and it's not easy
with all the influences
you have coming at you.
My next guest is someone
who very soon is gonna
be a household name.
He has taken over
the role of James Bond
from Sean Connery,
so let's please welcome
George Lazenby.
After I did the
David Frost Show,
I went on Johnny
Carson the next day,
and it's hard to imagine
someone doing this,
what I did, who's sane.
-And when he asked me...
-So what was it like
to be James Bond?
I said...
It was fun, but I...
I don't want to
do it anymore.
Oh, this...
That's good,
you should--
you should be over
here in my seat.
-Is that funny?
-He was laughing,
the audience was laughing.
That's a good line;
you're, uh,
you're joking, right?
You're not serious?
Yes, quite serious.
(crowd murmuring)
I turned it all down.
The seven picture deal,
million dollar bonus,
and I said no.
That's a lot of money
you're passing up.
I mean, you ever
thought about, uh, maybe,
you know, just
changing your mind
and doing another
picture or two?
Well, I think I'll be okay.
You in the market for a car?
I have to wish you
the best of luck.
You're a very
confident young man,
charming young
man, and, um...
mm, ladies and gentlemen,
George Lazenby.
I really didn't know
how to explain it.
Why I did it.
What I was
thinking and feeling.
I still don't know why
I just didn't
feel in my heart
it was the right thing.
It's an instinctive thing
that's a voice inside you.
And you don't think
of the consequences.
I was totally
blacklisted after Bond.
I couldn't get on
any known film set.
Five years down
the road after Bond,
hardly anybody took
much notice of me.
Poor old George,
I don't know what
he's doing now,
but he--he's definitely
the architect of his own
demise as a film star.
My name became a punch line.
George Lazenby,
legendary actor because
he played James Bond once.
Pope Benedict
figured he'd be
a mere palate
cleanser pope,
the George Lazenby,
if you will,
to John Paul II's
Sean Connery.
It's a famously
bad decision.
That's fame for you.
I can remember
when it fell off.
I was, uh--
I used to get a table
at the Dorchester Hotel
sometimes for dinner.
I'd ring up and they'd
give me the best table
right there.
Rang up one day
and they said,
"I'm sorry, Mr. Lazenby,
we haven't got
any tables,"
after I got some
bad press and whatnot.
"Haven't got any tables."
"Oh, okay."
So I'd ring back
and say, uh,
"Oh, it's Cary Grant here.
Uh, do you have
a table for four?"
"Oh yes, Mr. Grant."
And I'd show up
and I'd say,
"Cary Grant's comin'."
And then I'd
call 'em and say,
"Oh, he just called me.
He's not coming now."
Just to stick it
back up 'em, you know?
Judy, Judy, Judy,
this is Cary Grant here.
Well, looking
back on it now,
it's taken up
a year of your life.
You've taken a few kicks
from some of the critics
and some of the press.
Has it been worth it?
I think so,
I hope so anyway.
I've always done what
I thought was the right thing,
and it's not always
the right thing,
but I thought it
was at the time.
You know,
when I look back on it,
I should have done two.
Just to prove to
people I wasn't fired.
But it was a mistake,
but in a way,
this is who I am.
I don't know why,
it doesn't make sense
to some people, they say,
"He's mad, he's crazy."
But I live my life
the way I want to.
I regret breaking
up with Belinda
from time to time.
She taught me
what love was about.
She taught me
how to love.
You can't get hung up
on something like that
or you--your life's over.
Does it concern you at all
that you may well
have turned your back
on a large fortune?
Oh, it does in a way.
I mean,
everyone would like
to be secure moneywise.
But, uh, I've never
been that secure with money,
and, uh, I think
I can make a living
at a few other things.
Which would you prefer?
To be a stereotyped
James Bond
or a car salesman
like you used to be?
Car salesman
like I used to be.
Becoming Bond was
never my end goal.
While he admits there are
days he regrets his decision,
Lazenby says he's put
James Bond behind him.
I got married,
I had couple of kids.
I went into real estate.
I was very successful there.
I ended up racing Motocross.
I always wanted
to race motorcycles.
It's very hard for
people to understand,
but living life
on your own terms
in your own way,
you feel like
it's much fuller.
The best thing you can
do is know yourself
and feel yourself
and be yourself.
Yeah, I may not be great,
but I'm an original.
Perhaps the most
controversial choice
to play James Bond
was my next guest.
He took over for
the first time
from Sean Connery.
If that wasn't
tough enough,
he wasn't an actor,
but nonetheless
the film he made,
On Her Majesty's
Secret Service,
is celebrated by some
as one of the
best Bond films.
Welcome, please,
George Lazenby.
I'm proud of my life.
When I look back,
I was very fortunate
to have half a kidney
and expected
to live till 12.
Here I am 76,
and I've done
everything and more
than I ever expected to.
I was happy to be
a motor mechanic,
happy to be a car salesman,
happy to be a model,
happy to be James Bond,
happy to marry
the person I married,
happy to have kids.
And they've all
been wonderful.
I can't think of
anything I'd change.
Yeah, I'd probably have...
a few more pretty
women around, but...
What the hell.
What do you hope people
remember about your life?
Ooh, that's a good one.
So tell me,
what have you done?
(clears throat)
I'd like 'em to know
that you can defy
what is expected of you.
And write your own story.