Better Man (2024) Movie Script
1
Good evening folks. Good evening,
swag. No, good evening folks.
So who is Robbie Williams? Well,
I've been called many things,
narcissistic punchable shit, eating
quack. But while I'm all those things,
I want to show you how I really
see myself to sit back, relax,
and I give you a ride.
Fucking entertaining.
So the story starts
1982, stoke on Trent, the
Arsen of the north of England.
It may look grubby, deprived, but
deep down it was grubby, deprived.
I didn't have much, but at least I had
the respect and admiration of my peers
and just had trouble showing it. Clever.
Jets. Come on, right? No,
that's the water need.
Let do the rest position. What?
Fuck you off dude, you in gold,
dude. Fuck it up. And the condom.
Nothing's going. Let's
go. I had plenty of balls,
but I couldn't stop a single one. Balls.
I want dickhead.
Nearly off. Fucking use this, aren't you?
Yeah, yeah. Jo on you tick.
You a fucking new buddy.
See where I grew up? You
were meant to act small,
but the thing is my DNA is cabaret.
I came out the womb with jazz hands,
which was very painful for
the mum and downstairs.
For a bit. The barman's called him sick
for my sweetheart. Straight to bed.
Yeah, don't.
Curtain.
Make.
It clear how under my
entrance of which I'm,
of which I'm certain I live.
Life, I travelled each
Thank you much more.
Thank you. My goodness.
My way. My dad was well enamoured
by the stars of the day.
DeMar in Sammy Davis, Jr.
And of course Sinatra,
they worked Gods to youth. You hear that?
That's pure love. That is don't come
treat mind. You've got to risk it all.
Whatever it takes. Because
if you make it's paradise.
The thing is you can't learn it
If you're either born with it.
Oh, you're a nobody.
Line them up.
When I off more than I could chew
and
I
threw it all.
Now look what you got. I had a full under
steam then. No, fix it. Get out away.
We can swim without it. That's
not the shame. Oh, we closed.
I think it's time for a path. What
do want to keep going? Go with Nan.
Come on L, come on, come on. Blue ice.
Nan.
What is it? What do you mean?
Dad said you have to be born
with it and maybe I wasn't.
Believe me, whatever it is,
you got more than your share. You.
Are just saying.
That I bloody well not I wouldn't
change your hair on your head.
What is it? Love. Don't
want to be a nobody.
Oh love. There's no
such thing as a nobody.
Remember,
this might feel good,
but this is what matters.
You are enough.
I was nine years old when I got my
first real taste of the limelight and to
still remember that taste.
Pure unadulterated terror.
Have you seen the fit one with
the big bulge after the show?
I'm going to touch you. Mary's bathing
soup goes. I'm going to fuck it up.
I know it. So what? No one will notice.
My dad will just go out there,
sing your fucking song and walk up.
That's not enough. You'll see what I
threw in there. What am I going to do?
I dunno. I'm just doing
this with the sausage.
In the next three seconds
I'm going to be frowned out.
They'll see that I'm ugly,
I'm stupid, I'm untalented.
I'm not good at anything.
But there is one skill I've practised
more than any other child in the world.
An asper showing off.
How's about one hand on my entrance?
You see, I thought to become famous
you had to be really, really good.
Turns out you just have
to show off in bb. Cheeky.
Put your hands together for our
next contestant. Peter Williams.
Thank you very much.
Do you know the difference
between an ooh and an R? Well,
it's about three inches. Four.
You.
Fucking hate you. But dad
won five quid that night,
although it might as
well have been 5 million.
Thank you very much. You have been.
Wonderful and I've been Peter with
Come we.
A Peter. Not only did he change his name,
he changed his life.
One day he went to watch the FA Cup
final. Unfortunately, he didn't come back.
The audience speced and he left us
to be one step closer to his coats
coming home.
I the living,
not sure I understand
this role. I been,
I sit and to God.
He just loves my plans.
My head speaks a language
I don't understand.
I.
Yeah.
I
worry will be.
Life.
I.
I
this all I been
not. I understand, not.
I understand, not.
I understand.
Next, take a pamphlet, send the phone.
Shut the door on your way out.
Now you all right? I know what I'm
going to be. Oh, why? What's that?
Then famous. I'm going to sing and dance.
I'm might sing lyrics. You know
I've seen your G ler. You can't.
Rub two words together.
The world is mine to claim all I
need is a foot load of fame. Ooh.
Yeah. Listen, don't
embarrass yourself. Yeah.
This is not for you. Keep
your feet on the ground.
You might want frame that tosser.
Do mate.
You make a fucking awful stripper. You
know that. Fuck yeah. That's my backup.
Plan you to work with me.
Flinks always looking for people. Isn't.
He that flashy? Couldn in the cup?
Yeah, but he's proper double glazing.
Easy job, easy money. How'd you meet him?
He sad his mum. Fuck. Get out.
That's all right. He knows
his dad wouldn't be best. Please though.
Fucking have that.
So if you told about the trials.
No.
You met her. That scout
was fucking excited.
I thought it was going to blow
you right there in the pit.
I'm not going to the trials. I'm
not going to the trials rubbish.
I'm not what? Think of the money.
The supermodels, the
fans screaming for you.
I don't need all that fancy shit.
Fucking hell mate. Calm down.
You've got a ticket to we and
you're going to stay here. Oh yeah.
It's like you when you're singing,
isn't it? Just do it. I love it.
Who gives a fuck if you love it?
What matters is that other
people love you doing it.
I'd have to get yourself to school.
I can't face it. Got an
ambassador of heaven.
And an exam, which you better have
studied for. Why do you think we had.
Pounding?
Have more than a pound
in head If you haven't.
I love it. But he talks
dirty. You go in, I take you,
but I've got a million
deliveries. God knows. One lounge.
With a kitchen bloody me.
The behind the Nigel Martin
Smith is creating band.
If you're.
Interested in boy bands. Quick,
quick it down at this is it.
This is.
He makes my.
Thank you.
And brat. Nigel Martin
Smith was for legal reasons,
an absolute sweetheart.
Go on. Then.
Under a first class cu.
A buzzer took a monkey
for a ride in the air.
The monkey thought that
everything was on the square.
The buzzer tried to throw
the monkey off of his back.
The monkey grabbed his
necker said. Now listen.
Jack.
Sinatra.
That'll do lad. You do know
this is a pop band. Yeah.
Tell you what I'll do. Milli Vanilli. No.
So shall we tell them that you found
your man and they can all fuck our phone?
Don't you now don't.
You get up. It'll be my pleasure.
And if I hadn't winked in that moment,
none of this would've happened.
I wouldn't even be here talking to you.
Regulate your swags,
you'll no talent If you jumped
up and beat him on the car.
It's only been a few hours. Love. He's
got no eye for it now. You have to wait.
Fucked him. It's all right through me.
Mean, look at me. Do I look
like a pop star to you?
You look like you always
look exactly and tell
as fuck.
It's going to die alone and fat and
be craned out of his shit in stone.
Fuck. Hello you
dad.
You've voice so low now.
Course had the wrong number.
How are you dad?
Never better. Never better.
Now listen, I haven't got long,
but I was thinking how about
you come visit? Really?
Yeah. Why not? School
holidays are coming up.
You should come see what they
all wants me up to. I mean.
Yeah, definitely.
Smash.
It, right? I better go, go
house. Wait for no and all that.
Let him.
Oh no, no. Does everybody
have a good time?
Peter can have a good time.
I was lucky enough to grease the
stage with this next stack at a talent
competition. I'll never forget
it. He gave me a five. Oh,
it was sadder than that.
So please put your hands
together for the irresistible,
the I the ire.
I give him a turn out to 10. Mr. Switcher.
I come up for you.
The.
Thought was losing that stage left
table for a bit, but I won 'em back,
didn't I? Oh yeah. Glad you reached out.
A shock in a good way. Thought
it was about time. Youth.
Hey, I forgot to tell you I'm
joining this pop band. Really?
When do you start? Well, I'm
not deathly in yet, but Well,
it's just now about March
Love, isn't he? Yeah.
Actually you might want to
keep that bed out for me.
Found my exams complete. Fucking balls up.
Mum's going to put me on the
first press back on the tell her
fucking.
You've got to learn from
this, you all of this
because you're learning from the best.
Seeing my dad surrounded
by the stars of yesteryear,
galvanise my needs become famous,
but I had a more immediate problem.
What's mum going to be like when I tell
her I failed my exams fucked up the rest
of my life?
Did you have a good time?
Yeah. Smash it.
How is he?
Great.
I've got something to tell you.
So have I. You're in that band.
What you got in? You're.
In that band.
And I never had to tell her
I failed my exams until now.
Sorry, mom,
fuck off me.
Nigel was my introduction
to the adult world.
It was fucking terrifying like Willy
Wonka. But what did I care? I was 15.
I was going to have four older brothers
and we were going to take over the
world. Howard Donald panel beater.
If you've got a dent on your car,
Howard, count it out.
Jason Orange was a featured dancer
on a genre defining TV music show
called The Hit Man and her
Mark Owen,
little Marco was lovely.
And then of course
there was Gary Barlow
and my first thought was,
who's this dickhead in those trainers?
They are. So three years ago,
Gary was a genius, an actual genius.
He'd been playing the working men's
club since he was 12 years old and was
earning more money than his teachers
triple was. Gary sang like an
angel, but he danced like a twa.
I recall thinking two things that day,
A fifth of the spotlight
is better than nothing. And
if anyone from Stokes
Evening, I'm fucking dead.
Probably.
All around. No coriander for the
boys. Thank you. No coriander.
Whenever Nigel took us out for
dinner, he would always say,
I'll put this on your
account. He wasn't joking. He.
Recoup it all. Look
around the table. Cool.
In five years we're all
going date each other
Bob. We'll be fucking rich.
Now first things first,
we work up our act. We take it on the
road. What about a record deal? Oh,
that'll come. We'll get your demo sent
out. We'll let the bidding war begin.
But before that, let's
shore up your back stories.
Mark and Jason, you are in a break
dancing group together. Gary and Howard.
You were in a band called the
Cutest Rush. It was either the lead,
you weren't then magic and you're not. Now
you went to bit apart in Brook's side.
Oh, it's fucking great, wasn't it?
You were a bit much, frankly.
Can't we just say my songwriter?
I got twin of lyrics. Well, I can
hold my breath for two minutes,
but I'm not trying to be
a fucking submarine, am I?
Gary writes the songs. Yeah,
you locked over the line.
Oh, and also your name's not
Robert anymore. It's Robbie.
I fucking hated the name Robbie.
But it was the single best thing Nigel
did for me. Robbie became a character,
something I could hide behind. Oh.
No.
The name of the band.
Oh, Nigel, I've got a good one. Kick it.
Fast.
Fucking oh,
I've already got the name and
it's brilliant and clench.
Take that.
Initially I just plan was for
us to be a band to the Gacy.
Now fear people are
rumoured about my sexuality.
The worst one is that all my gay friends
who slept with me and said I was crap,
I'm not bothered. They said slept
with them. These are my being crap.
I'm worried about
That night I discovered a wonderland.
It was welcoming and
nonjudgmental. I'd found my people,
I'd found the promised land
for the entire first 18 months
we made 180 pounds each.
We played gay club after gay club
to a night until out of nowhere.
Nigel booked as a clock full of girls.
Fucking, I'm warning you
will you your job. I felt like.
I've got good news. Good news.
We've had some interest from a
few record labels. Oh, in London.
London, yes. Absolute. Yes. Thank you.
So deserve it. You've all done really well
for one of you.
We all know who that is, don't we?
Robbie talked to a local recorder.
Well like the A team.
I'm a sexy, talented one.
Who the fuck gave you,
you know I almost started to like you
but you fucking ended that, haven't you?
Fuck off. What was that?
I think Robbie's developing
a sense of human eye.
Do you think it'd be difficult
to go to Soong Trent,
get another scally with ratty
hair and call him Robbie.
Right? The club wants us
to do a meet and greet.
There's going to be lots of girls in
here, so let's get one thing clear.
Keep it in your pants. No
touching, no telephone numbers,
no dating ever, ever.
What's the point of bringing
him up? Alright, bring him up.
Nigel had many rules fortay that and
the most important was that we always
appeared attainable. Safe
sex is important. Teenage,
he even made us do a safe sex tour
for the Family planning association.
So remember, don't be
a full cover. His tool.
Actually, I took it all to heart. Gary,
I was happy to play Gary for the moment.
I'll never wash my hands again.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Oh my god. Hurry up. Real
real up quick. Oh that Gary,
I stopped and there was
the one time in Nigel's
life, he wasn't the
biggest wca in the room.
Right? Straight up.
There's no appetite one or need
for boy bands. They died of death.
It's all grunge Now.
Did you hear our demo?
Yes.
These boys are going to take this country
by storm and if you don't sign them
right now,
I'll take them to another label and you'll
be the twat that let the biggest band
in history slip through
your pudgy fucking fingers.
You won't do any of that
because everyone else said No,
I only agreed to see you because
my daughter saw you boys live
and she's obsessed.
She assures me that you were
amazing in the flesh. So
I'm going to take a punt that you
are right about these boys. Now,
which one of you is Gary?
It's me.
Hitting you with the.
Floor show,
kicking with your torso for getting high
and the girls even more So wave your
hints if you not with a man,
can I kick it? Yes you can.
I got you got soul.
Everybody. I've got the gift.
Got to stick it in. The.
Being in the classes. Music for your
masses with no head, no backstage passes.
Have a proper gig for life. But when
I rock the my car, rock down mic,
no love than you with the
wrong. If you can't go to K,
but your best friend can.
Every day there's a new l, A coach brings
them in, they come into the garden,
they nip the wood off the
fence, the clothes off the lie.
Someone should do something about
this. They want this to happen.
I went down the post office the other
day and someone called me a bush lag. Oh,
love you. You're not posh. It's not funny.
I can't make my deliveries anymore.
I'm having to shut the business rub.
Guess who's recording the
lead vocals for our new song.
I'll get us out the shit hole and
buy us a fortress just like Gary.
And why would I want a
bigger house to hide in?
That was the first time my
mom closed the curtains.
I'm going to bet if they'll let me.
She didn't open them for another 10 years.
Hey.
Love.
Where's my.
Little Robert? God, I'm a pop star now.
Fat little Robert isn't going
to sell any albums, is he?
I'm just giving the
people what they want. Now
I go on stage and act like a gladiator
and I present that the whole world is
looking to see
and they all act according me.
See what I see man. Stop.
See, that's the craziest
thing, man. I can't.
Now fuck off.
I'm here at Taper HQ with the man
responsible for the band's success.
Nigel Martin Smith. It's quite a.
Display. It is. Yeah. Yeah. We got
take that dolls. Take that calendar,
take that pillows so you can sleep
with, take that. I'm just kidding.
Probably got that bit
out for our ethnic fans.
We have Take that for Bush ca dolls.
Rob is inside. Mark who's inside? Jason.
Jason's inside Howard and
they outfit Snugly and Gary.
That's how cute.
Lyrics. Just some ideas.
Come on then.
Give us a look. Will
they get credit? I dunno.
Are they any good?
Wouldn't you like to Now.
You've got it. Whatever. At
least pretend to give it toss.
What about all this?
Yeah, but you kidding?
Do you have any idea how naff people,
oh fuck off Robbie. They bloody love us.
Do you think Oasis does this
shit? We need to branch out.
That's something that's not so fucking.
Cringeworthy though. And
this coming from you.
The one who only shines when
the light's on him let us speak.
You think you can just turn up scribble
some worthless shit and get your name
next to mine in the song
credits. You add nothing to this,
any of it.
Turn back. I love you.
Do you remember? No matter.
Just hold it there for a second.
Thanks Rob. That was better. Yeah,
you're still a little behind.
Oh, I've always lied a little bit behind.
What we might do Robbie, is if we record
it, we can just record line by line.
Yeah. And then we can just
sketch it together here.
No, I can do it all at once.
Yeah, let's just go again.
Yeah, let's go.
I've got it.
Sure thing. Here we go.
I Those you. Do you remember?
No matter what was happening,
I was there with you,
but if we all stand up
possibility you worthless.
You can't do it coming.
Wayne, how about, okay, great.
Cheers. Robert. Give it a sec.
Gary. Oh, you heading there?
Oh my God. Did your best and
now I feel like the bad guy.
So ready. George. Difference.
Thank you. Oh, this is a hit.
I didn't know it but I was suffering
from depression. I hate that phrase.
Suffering from depression.
I'm so scarlet O'Hara.
I do declare Mr. Butler. I'm been
surfing with a bad depression.
Clinically depressed is
better. Way more love. Cody.
Dad. Here he is there.
I didn't know you were.
Oh my god. I told you didn't I? You
owe me a pin one. Can I get a photo?
Yeah, of course you can.
I'll check it for you. Okay,
here we go. Say fuzzy pickle wiggle.
Lovely. Thank you. So did you want
one me here? Eh? Great idea. Yeah,
of course you do. Come on, look
at that. Hey, peas in a po.
Can I use you? Can I use your loop?
Yeah. It's number two.
Be my guest. Oh my God.
She seems nice.
Oh yeah. Terrific. Terrific. You know
they've corded up the whole street,
don't you? There's girls everywhere.
They're not playing nice either.
It's fucking blood sports over there.
I told the security like you were my
son. I nearly got torn apart town.
Belong lunch.
No, no. Just passing
through back home tonight.
After I collect my pint. We
should know you were coming.
What's this?
I think.
Prozac. What have you got to
mope about? You boys are flying.
Bloody Brit domination. I've been
telling everyone about that. I know.
It's just.
It's all a bit of a one and dad,
it's like I can't keep
track of who I am anymore.
Well go and ask that lot out there.
Hey, you know exactly who you are. You.
The lunch would be I pressed to
pick him out of a police lineup.
Well not Gary obviously,
because he's the creative one,
but you live in the dream youth.
How can you not know who you are and
there are thousands of people screaming
your name.
Jesus.
I say you.
Looks the best.
Are you fucking retarded?
All of.
Cut out tan alo. You dodgy
curry. Good job. It's simple.
Sing the harmonies and told the lion
back that one. Yeah. Know your place.
You make us the right fucking idiots.
Do you remember?
Because he writes all the
songs. Gary makes all the money.
He's got a mansion in the north of England
with a driveway full of cars for me
and a butler while I'm
still living at moment.
He's el now
and they're all waiting
for me in the garden.
I used to talk about the
problem and I am the problem.
Yeah.
Robbie,
well we've all been having a think and
we'd quite like to do the next tour
as a four piece just to
see if we can do it. Yeah.
To see if we can do it.
Perhaps you could focus in on
that sole long material you've.
Been working on. Or to be honest, Rob,
we've been doing it as a
four piece for a while.
I think you should.
Is that it then?
Yeah.
Can I take this?
Yeah, Rob, if you want.
This is it. This is the last.
So unimpressed, but so in all
such a saint, such a whole,
some self-aware, so full of shit.
So indecisive. I'm
watch me. Come on.
Fans are still reeling from
the announcement of what.
Williams has split from take out.
My switchboards set up after reports
of suicides have been flooded by.
Reputation.
I
so sweet because I'm But I'm your son.
The cheeky member of Take that is now
the fucked up messy one who's gone and
broken up the band and
people hate me for it,
but really they're only saying
what to think about myself.
I'm a raging cocaine habit. I'm
full blown alcoholic and I'm 21.
I think I was always going to
be an alcoholic or an addict.
I just had the money and the
means to get there quicker.
But I'm also incredibly
competitive. I mean,
I've no idea how I'm going
to pull off the solo career,
but there's an energy to
revenge and it's very,
very seductive.
Three. Three.
It is going to happen. No ifs, no
buts, no left, no right straight head.
I'm going to be fucking massive.
Massive. What? Fuck.
Scared the shit out of it.
You said you wanted to be massive.
Oh well I was just wishing
for a little extra girth.
What is it you do?
Oh.
Sorry. Should I already know that?
No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm
a singer and songwriter.
Really? Yeah. Yeah. Just started out on
my own. I was didn't take that anyway.
Wait, bad.
I don't mind me. I'm
sorry. Now you all right.
I mean is why I left dancing around
in the background like a camped
masochist. I mean if I'm
going to look like a tosser,
I might as well do it downstage centre.
So it's all about the spotlight.
Wow. Or even any Luke, just full fist.
I'm just saying if you're
going to start out on your own,
you might as well be honest about why.
Shit. You a journalist.
Fuck no. I'm just curious.
I'm not sure you'd understand.
Try me.
I was given a golden ticket but it felt
like I was bound in gag for the last
five years and not in a hot way either
in like a battery to the scrotum sort of
way. I dunno. Sexy, mysterious mass lady.
I guess I've just reached a point where
I want to prove I can make it on my own.
Prove to who?
Everywhere. See,
I told you you wouldn't understand.
Oh fuck me.
Nicole Appleton, she and her sister
were members of the Girl and All Saints.
Their manager was a hunter.
She was absolutely lovely with
the single worst taste in men.
Yeah, you're right.
Fame is so fucking weird, isn't it?
It's like that uneasy feeling you get
when they bring the cake out and the whole
restaurant seems happy. Your birthday
to you. You can't wait until happy.
Your birthday stops being sung. I mean,
people are doing a really nice thing,
but you just want it to stop so
you can eat the fucking cake.
Yeah.
Now you've got your gag off.
What are you going to say?
I've got some lyrics.
I mean they're basically different
takes on how much I hate myself.
I so a Christmas album then.
I'm not sure about an album at the moment.
I'd just like to write one good song.
You are overthinking it. Just write
about whatever's in front of you.
I've got a bow. The man's made a rubber.
I caught a hole in the
back and use my carcas.
Yes, it's a hit. See,
you're going to be massive in no time.
I was hugged. She was me.
We will walk.
We will free
if there's somebody called.
She's the one.
He's the one.
It's not competition girls just.
Start. Yeah,
this place is posh as fuck. You know I've
just seen fucking bono in the toilet.
Have a look. Tiny,
haven't you?
Hey, so know my girlfriend, Kayla. Kayla.
I'm in a club for No, she ain't got a
club for No, her pelvis is out anyway.
She's up the duff. I'm going to be a dad.
That's amazing.
I'm surprised that other
things don't work. Still
coming in at number one.
It's new. It's brilliance.
It's never, ever, by all sakes.
Can't believe it babe. You
deserve it. Love your next.
Nicole.
Give us a few words.
Okay? I can't believe we did it.
Everyone who supported us through the
years, your family and we love you
and to my best friends,
having a number one is amazing.
Getting to celebrate it
together is the best.
Liam Gallico was the lead singer of
Oasis, the biggest fan on the planet.
I'm in love with their songs.
I'm in love with the lyrics.
I'm in love with how provocative they
are. I'm just totally in love with them.
I don't want to be. Fame
is a powerful aphrodisiac.
It means even ugly people can get laid.
Mind.
You.
Guitars.
Do that too.
What's all that about then? God,
number one is that, oh fucking hell.
If I orgasmed every time I had a
number one, I'd be fucking dry. Yeah,
you listen to this. Yeah. He fucking
knows what we're fucking talking about.
You want a number one? You should
have stayed Gary's backup dancer.
Guess who's ad the largest ever demand
for concert tickets in British history?
Me and the band. Networth. Right?
125,000 fucking screaming
cunts. That's insane.
That's how you know
you've made it fucking no.
Me and Liam wouldn't always be so.
Cuddly.
Would anybody like to see me fight? Liam?
Liam, once your money, once my money.
We'll get in the ring and we'll have a
fight. But you cannot watch it on tv.
What do you think about that Now are
you going to do it or are you going to.
Pussy out your fucking win?
Thankfully he wasn't in
the country at the time
with Come on, let's go this shit.
Nice.
Chat to you enough. Fuck off cu.
Hey wrinkle toes. You
coming or what? Yeah,
come on.
Good evening. That wish you
all look gorgeous tonight.
Here's one from a new
album. Thank you very much.
Hi for me,
aren't you miss number one
if United Kingdom of Britain.
And where did you end up.
Got kidnapped by Lynn Gallagher.
Oh.
And you look like you're
having a good enough time
anyway. I was just trying
to make sense of it.
Before.
Never ever.
You don't like our soul. It's fine.
I'm not sure it's the number one, but.
People seem to like it.
It would be nice if my.
Screaming,
jumping around making
fucking speeches and talk
that bullshit about family.
It's not bullshit. It's
everything to me. Right.
So did you tell them that you gave up
half family to get that number one then?
Nah. But you left that bit out of
your little speech, didn't you?
So fucking.
Ugly when you're wasted.
Well, I'd be sober, Tamara.
Oh, won't that be nice?
I can't believe I had to tell everyone
that you left tonight because something
important came up. It did.
Getting fucked up with your mates.
At least they know how.
Write a problem. Number one.
It's more than you can scribbling
in lyrics and your little notebook,
but you're too scared
to show them to anyone.
Oh, number one is she's
giving out your advice.
I didn't ask her to lie to your
friends because guess what?
I don't give a fuck what they
think. You give a fuck what.
Everyone thinks from that's
all you give a fuck about.
We need crisps. Alright then.
I don't want you wasting away on me.
You have washing machines in London.
Yeah.
But you do it with love.
Oh, you bugger. You should come
home more often. She's slowing down.
Rubbish. I'm allowed to live all of
us anyway. I'm about to be very busy.
I rang around and I've got a meeting
with the producer called Guy Chambers.
Nicole's got a number one fucking Gary's.
Got number ones. Yeah, right. I am
turning into a farm yard animal.
I wouldn't change your hair on
your head. Bless you dad. No,
I spoke to your dad.
Oh that makes one of us been radio
silent since I left the band.
He's agreed to see you again.
Agreed. What do you mean?
What'd you have your visit
on your school holidays?
He called me. Remember he
said it had been too long.
He invited me.
Yes, that's right. I told him to.
You see.
Oh Jesus. Oh
hey I'm cry.
It's all right.
So right doc, I'm sorry.
Moran's complex. Yes.
You just picking up Ro checks
a whole life with a yt.
Yes are a lineup in the line and now
suspects and a whi down the farm.
Witness this reclines of his Z
to my wishlist. So are puppet.
Act like the litmus test and she's like,
am I allowed to lit this? Okay. Okay,
hang.
On, hang on. Listen. I
appreciate you coming over,
but this isn't going to work.
Guy Chambers guy likes it when I talk
about the holidays and show the guy
like it when he agrees to let me
sing our songs. You don't mind dude?
So our lawyers had a chat
and here we are on a beach.
You've only heard half of
them and they're all the same.
I can't even tell when one
ends and the next one begins.
It's like you've written lyrics you
think other people want to hear. I dunno,
that might be okay in a boy band.
So you want me to get
naked on the first date?
Well, it's the only way this works.
Songs are only valuable if
they cost you something.
Luckily I'm always
naked on the first date.
You're going to laugh. Do it on
the inside. Yeah, A dent easily.
Can you give me a C?
You can't better make it be for high.
You can't man affect your miracle.
The signs was pitiful that day
and love is scared and too cynical.
Passions just physical
night you admit to defeat.
Cry yourself blind.
This of course,
if you can't wake up in the morning
because
if you lost
something beautiful come your way.
A second verse the D.
No, no, no. Hang on, hang on.
We have to double the chorus.
It'll sound crap. What was that list last,
right? That's the hook.
That's the gold there.
Something beautiful bit is cream
on top. You've got lost, hot,
tired or lonely
and then you repeat. You
understand? Yeah, right.
We pick it up from the chorus and give
it some welling. Even if it's shit,
you've got to make it your shit. Two,
three.
If you can't wake up
control, you
won't
be one more time.
Something beautiful will come your way.
You are not as crap as I thought. Thanks.
We need to clean it up a
bit, but as a start now,
what else have you gotten there.
And coming up? We have a surprise
guest in the studio is none other.
Let's take that bad boy. Robbie Williams.
Chris Briggs manager to the stars.
Amazingly he saw something in me.
I mean besides monstrous amount of
drugs and booze, it'll be nice and.
Intimate. 50 people or so. Contest winner.
That'll be super exciting and
just remember it's going out live,
so might you Shit some fucks.
You should start with a cover,
something people recognise. We want them
to recognise our songs and they will,
but you have to woo them first.
You got to get me to N with How about
you get through this one without giving
yourself a heart attack? Just give
me that. Alright, baby steps mate.
Look, I know this isn't much of a game,
but I dunno. Black Paul Networth. Hi.
Plus we need the air time. What
have you got to lose? Oh, what.
Is said? My dignity. But
take that or he stole it so
I mean it. Briggsy. I've
got to play networth.
Whatever it takes, it'll
take everything. Sure,
you're ready for that.
Then make every performance count.
Liable.
Watch.
2, 3, 4. You got to know how to bone,
air like Bon
do the mashed potato, do the
your hands on let.
Die. You've left the safety of the band
and now you're going out on your own.
How does that feel? I couldn't be happier.
I'm finally three and this
is only the beginning.
Well,
the first punches have been thrown at
Gary Barlow at number one while Robbie's
first album, life Through a
Lens has debuted at number 11,
Robbie's face now rests on a
national charm offensive tour.
Look up your daughter.
Look up your son.
You know what I need
you to do. Walk three.
With his new album, rocketing of
the Charts. Ladies and gentlemen,
Robbie Williams, please
welcome Robbie Williams.
Robbie Williams. Ladies and gentlemen,
he's an internationally lobster.
Being the pop star means you
can live all your fantasies,
I think is what's known as the
looky bastard. Well, being in a.
Relationship means I put away M shagging
boots, but I know where the closet is.
The great thing is I'm actually alive
now because back at old I voted the rear
of the year. Is that right?
You going to show us?
So it's let's say your box office, right?
I've got a platinum disc and then
I'm getting a double platinum disc.
Now it means I'm very famous.
And the winner is Robbie Williams. Rob.
Williams.
Is Robbie Williams. Robbie Williams.
A perfect end to a great
night for Robbie Williams.
I am sure you all recognise this
young man. Did you know had a father
come up and sit on's
knee? What I've got in.
Are you going to fucking hide
fucking.
Oh, thank God talk everything Peter Goway
do you know what Chrisy
any who sees an Alexis?
No one cares about that stuff anymore,
but tonight you have some tough show.
Mr. In the office. But this is
going to knock your socks off.
Rob. Rob, guess.
Who's playing Networth next summer?
Wait till I tell the lines. Hey, have
you thought about a support act? Now.
I could do you a couple of numbers
for a most. It's incredible.
It also comes with a new
record deal. It's a scene. Ah,
look at.
You. You're full of roof. I need a drink.
Look at this. Just swap the doctor
orders. Okay, I'll leave you to celebrate.
Congratulations. Thanks Chris.
Net was, how does it feel?
C little sinking.
It is like someone's picked size of an
after school game and it's go all gone.
Horribly horr wrong.
Just want to get thousands
bollocks. The audience loves you.
I can't do it.
I can't hurry. Networth,
I'll be like a lamb to the fucking
slaughter that tastes just stage fright.
You're not listening.
No, it's normal. Hey,
you know what's always out me
a little bit of dose. Courage.
I know it. Dad.
I'm sorry dad. No one buys a
ticket. Where your problems, son.
You want to know why
these people are goods?
Because they make other
people's problems. Go away. Dad,
stay please.
Wow,
the world is daddy's best. Mate.
A sudden change in fortune view. Is
it not that mean you're flying high.
Sober as a judge?
Well, sorry.
Talk. I have to do this.
Park's Robert, let's talk if we may,
about this success you've been having.
I mean, it is not the first time, is it?
You've had it before. Let's take that.
Would you say that this is
a different kind of success?
It means a great deal more to me now.
I'm about to perform in front of a
record crowd at Networth in a few weeks.
No, no. Stop it. Knuck.
It's only the biggest music
event in British history.
That's.
My way. But of course N Wales is not
the only record you've broken recently.
Is it? There's a matter of your new
deal with EMI 80 million pounds.
How does that feel?
I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams.
I thought I was quoting that lady
who famously won the lottery,
but she said understand.
So no one got it. Mind you,
I've said worse things in interviews.
How would you describe your
time with take that I was very.
Fortunate to be in Take back and
fall out to the Five Spice Girls.
What said down, didn't you?
Now you've connected with
many women in the past,
always going to talk about my fake line.
There's nothing to write home about,
which is a shame because mom
loves getting those letters.
I mean, how many fatties can
you have? Well the second one,
we didn't even get out of the car.
There's no way Natalie was
going to ruin her hair.
So they just jacked it up with this
all inside and the weather was.
I come to the.
Weather was horrendous, least to sell.
Was tired though. Probably
because I wasn't sleeping,
which is weird because
the bed wasn't insanely.
Comfortable. I even got the name of
the mattress in case we wanted to.
But you're finally settling down.
I have to be a realist.
We're both on tour a lot
and it can be difficult.
I.
Tell me, what's it like for
Robbie Williams to be in love?
Well, that's.
Difficult too.
F things are much easier.
You make me feel so small
that I hated you for it,
for making me feel so unnecessary.
The fucking awful things you do.
I thought you couldn't help it,
but you just don't want to
and I can't help.
You anymore
Broke.
Nick.
Please a fucking animal.
You need to calm down.
Tell what I mean. Guess how I can fix it?
You too fucking legs.
Easy eating up.
Come on. Oh, what the fuck?
He's alright. What shit?
You should have said no to
this one. The top of the pops.
You can't buy this kind of promotion.
What's the promote? Never was sold out.
The what? What
if you getting to the top of
side? Try staying on five.
Come on, you are up.
Leave it.
It's.
I I'm about to go on.
Something. Where have you Ben?
I've been trying to reach.
You. I know, I know. But listen,
I'll have to talk to you later.
Duck again because my penis, well,
he's accidentally shatter himself
and it's just a horror show.
It's.
Your nan.
She kept asking for you and
I tried calling you, but.
I'm so sorry. Love. She's gone.
Whoever pulls the sword out of the
stone gets to be the new king of
England.
Unofficial thumb on everyone's
lip. And in everyone's heart,
ladies.
And gentlemen, the ego has
So the next thing you know,
all the nights are whoa
and turning red. But
nobody could bullshit.
So you can imagine how everyone laughed
when Little Arthur stepped up for his
term. Everyone except Merlin.
Merlin just stroked
his beard and whispered
Arthur.
I know those sexy muscular
nights couldn't do it.
And you are just a little
father a child with,
but I believe in you.
I sit.
I feel.
They're out. Salt and
vinegar. Good morning.
Okay.
Hey, we should get the
boys together, okay?
Have a little mease up before you
concert tomorrow. Do you? I can't fish.
Okay, what time? Lift off.
It helps outside the fat.
I idea what it takes
to get up there. Sleep
back. Once you're up there, you're
smashing it. So that fucks me really off.
People say that
being not there the worst. All right?
You don't understand.
No, no. I don't understand.
At least I'm trying.
You know, all I wanted was for
you to ask me just once I'm doing
with work and a little girl
or I'm about to walk out to
125,000.
People, you've got no fucking
idea what that feels like.
And you've no idea that I earn in a month.
What you fucking snort in a minute or.
That Kaylee shacks up
with some fucking butcher.
And so I'm living in estate
surrounding my fucking psychopaths.
Oh that I only get to see my kid
for two hours every fortnight.
So you need money. Fucking how
you know jealousy don't suit you.
Are you fucking kidding? Alright.
Yeah, I might have close the fuck all,
but you have fucking nothing
and this coming from
you. Nothing. Nobody cu
know the difference between me
and you. Nate. It's not my money.
It's not your kid.
It's the fact that I had the fucking
balls to make something of myself.
You bought a ticket to the dream
and the dream came true and
yeah, fuck it. I am. I'm jealous of
that. You can keep the fucking rest.
The seats. Jesus somewhere waiting for me.
My love stands on golden
and watches the ships that go sail.
And the crowd goes mild.
Don't you get ready?
Youth going helicopter off
youth.
Jesus Christ.
You.
You bastard. I thought you'd passed out.
I have waited my whole life
for you to step up until
it took was booking the biggest
concert in British history.
What are you going on about
when you left us? Where's all.
This coming from? All those years.
I thought he's just sorting himself out.
He'll miss me so much and he'll come back.
Yeah, and I did.
Yeah, I, because Nan made.
You.
I didn't leave you in
nothing though, did I?
Where do you think your talent
comes from? Jesus Christ.
You've forgotten how fucking lucky
you are. That's your problem.
It's a privilege to do what we do, what.
We do. You live in a caravan,
you perform to 15 fucking people a night.
And I love every second of it and I
don't need pills to get me through.
Sure, I'll give anything to play
to a big crowd. Of course I would.
But if I only ever plate to one
person for the rest of my life,
I'd be happy giving everything I've got.
Unless that person was me though, right?
Really? Who's been cheering
you on from the wings?
Who was it? Stop you from ruin.
Wouldn't Williams if it wasn't.
You've always been there
for Robbie Williams dad.
Why can't you just be there for Robert?
You have to watch the football then. Yeah.
Nice one. I will see you in six years.
You don't have it.
That's why you never made it.
Not your husband, not
your father. Not anything.
The fucking
everything has come down to this.
They've come for me and
I'm going to die out.
Good evening Network.
My name is Robbie Williams.
This is my for the next two hours,
your ass is my.
Come on, come
this part. So
shame.
I will grow through this.
Lord. I'm doing all I can.
Someone to love me.
I need to rest in home.
Keep me safe from home.
Lord. I feel the
getting before my
is my soul.
Heals the shame. I will grow
through this pain. Lord,
I'm doing all I care.
I lost the house. The worst thing
was I lost the ability to care.
You are next. If you want to share.
I feel a bit stupid to be honest.
I'm just a chaff. They've got
everything they ever wanted
to be a fucking embarrassing. To be frank.
I was taught that fame
would solve everything.
Fame's got fuck called to do with me.
It's about acting how everyone else's
fantasies, they're shagging the boo in.
They're showing your buttocks on
tv, people cheering you for it.
Fame looks good in a photo.
They say your life freezes
at the age you become famous.
So I'm 15. I'm stunted.
I'm un old
and that's why I'm always like,
oh, it's okay. I think I'm a court.
I'm fine with it. So I
get there before you do.
I fucking.
Take.
Myself for it.
Sometimes it's a curse to
get everything we want.
Repairing close relationships is a
good first step to repairing ourselves.
I know
the I.
To be.
Good evening folks. Good evening
you. Sls. Oh, good evening folks.
So who is Robbie Williams? Well,
I've been called many things,
narcissistic punchable shit, eating
twa. But while I'm all those things,
I want to show you how I really
see myself to sit back, relax,
and I give you a right
fucking entertaining.
So.
The story starts.
This is the last song of the evening.
It's sad than that. It
is much sadder than that.
Thank you for being a wonderful audience
tonight and making my dream come true.
I want to thank my mom for
being there when I needed you.
Always.
You guess it folks.
Now the end is if you
know the word single,
if you don't show up for the sound,
the final curtain, my friends
I'll say,
and my case on which I'm
certain I live.
I have travelled each and
am everybody.
Now. I couldn't finish the show without
mentioning someone else here tonight.
Cheryl. Lot to the same
mannerisms as this person.
People say I sing a bit like him too.
He's made me who I am. All the
good things and a touch the bad.
And I wouldn't be where I am without him.
We haven't performed
together for 25 years,
but I've wanted to every day since.
Please welcome to the stage my dad.
Thank.
You very much. What do you think
youth? Shall we light them up?
Tell it like it's that.
Regret. I have had a few.
Me too, but then again,
too few a mansion.
I did what I had to do.
And sorry, through
each, across, each, careful
along.
I'm sorry I up. You always, you know.
Now look at me. You're one of the gods.
And.
The Conway. Everybody, my dad,
or at least that's what
mom told us. I've loved.
I have left and cried. I've had my film
of and
I find it all so
to thing I did.
How may I see Not in?
Oh no. Oh no. Not me.
I did
what has.
None. This is your Gruson
singing and I love you.
I did it.
Who did I love when I was a kid?
I love Frank Sinatra.
I love my dad and he's an
entertainer. Shit. That's who I am.
That feels good to me.
I want to make the 12-year-old at
my Nan's watching TV on a Saturday
night feeling safe.
I wanted to make that same
12-year-old feel safe on stage.
I'm fucking entertainer. It might be
cabaret, but it's world-class cabaret.
I'm the fucking best at it.
Fuck.
Good evening folks. Good evening,
swag. No, good evening folks.
So who is Robbie Williams? Well,
I've been called many things,
narcissistic punchable shit, eating
quack. But while I'm all those things,
I want to show you how I really
see myself to sit back, relax,
and I give you a ride.
Fucking entertaining.
So the story starts
1982, stoke on Trent, the
Arsen of the north of England.
It may look grubby, deprived, but
deep down it was grubby, deprived.
I didn't have much, but at least I had
the respect and admiration of my peers
and just had trouble showing it. Clever.
Jets. Come on, right? No,
that's the water need.
Let do the rest position. What?
Fuck you off dude, you in gold,
dude. Fuck it up. And the condom.
Nothing's going. Let's
go. I had plenty of balls,
but I couldn't stop a single one. Balls.
I want dickhead.
Nearly off. Fucking use this, aren't you?
Yeah, yeah. Jo on you tick.
You a fucking new buddy.
See where I grew up? You
were meant to act small,
but the thing is my DNA is cabaret.
I came out the womb with jazz hands,
which was very painful for
the mum and downstairs.
For a bit. The barman's called him sick
for my sweetheart. Straight to bed.
Yeah, don't.
Curtain.
Make.
It clear how under my
entrance of which I'm,
of which I'm certain I live.
Life, I travelled each
Thank you much more.
Thank you. My goodness.
My way. My dad was well enamoured
by the stars of the day.
DeMar in Sammy Davis, Jr.
And of course Sinatra,
they worked Gods to youth. You hear that?
That's pure love. That is don't come
treat mind. You've got to risk it all.
Whatever it takes. Because
if you make it's paradise.
The thing is you can't learn it
If you're either born with it.
Oh, you're a nobody.
Line them up.
When I off more than I could chew
and
I
threw it all.
Now look what you got. I had a full under
steam then. No, fix it. Get out away.
We can swim without it. That's
not the shame. Oh, we closed.
I think it's time for a path. What
do want to keep going? Go with Nan.
Come on L, come on, come on. Blue ice.
Nan.
What is it? What do you mean?
Dad said you have to be born
with it and maybe I wasn't.
Believe me, whatever it is,
you got more than your share. You.
Are just saying.
That I bloody well not I wouldn't
change your hair on your head.
What is it? Love. Don't
want to be a nobody.
Oh love. There's no
such thing as a nobody.
Remember,
this might feel good,
but this is what matters.
You are enough.
I was nine years old when I got my
first real taste of the limelight and to
still remember that taste.
Pure unadulterated terror.
Have you seen the fit one with
the big bulge after the show?
I'm going to touch you. Mary's bathing
soup goes. I'm going to fuck it up.
I know it. So what? No one will notice.
My dad will just go out there,
sing your fucking song and walk up.
That's not enough. You'll see what I
threw in there. What am I going to do?
I dunno. I'm just doing
this with the sausage.
In the next three seconds
I'm going to be frowned out.
They'll see that I'm ugly,
I'm stupid, I'm untalented.
I'm not good at anything.
But there is one skill I've practised
more than any other child in the world.
An asper showing off.
How's about one hand on my entrance?
You see, I thought to become famous
you had to be really, really good.
Turns out you just have
to show off in bb. Cheeky.
Put your hands together for our
next contestant. Peter Williams.
Thank you very much.
Do you know the difference
between an ooh and an R? Well,
it's about three inches. Four.
You.
Fucking hate you. But dad
won five quid that night,
although it might as
well have been 5 million.
Thank you very much. You have been.
Wonderful and I've been Peter with
Come we.
A Peter. Not only did he change his name,
he changed his life.
One day he went to watch the FA Cup
final. Unfortunately, he didn't come back.
The audience speced and he left us
to be one step closer to his coats
coming home.
I the living,
not sure I understand
this role. I been,
I sit and to God.
He just loves my plans.
My head speaks a language
I don't understand.
I.
Yeah.
I
worry will be.
Life.
I.
I
this all I been
not. I understand, not.
I understand, not.
I understand.
Next, take a pamphlet, send the phone.
Shut the door on your way out.
Now you all right? I know what I'm
going to be. Oh, why? What's that?
Then famous. I'm going to sing and dance.
I'm might sing lyrics. You know
I've seen your G ler. You can't.
Rub two words together.
The world is mine to claim all I
need is a foot load of fame. Ooh.
Yeah. Listen, don't
embarrass yourself. Yeah.
This is not for you. Keep
your feet on the ground.
You might want frame that tosser.
Do mate.
You make a fucking awful stripper. You
know that. Fuck yeah. That's my backup.
Plan you to work with me.
Flinks always looking for people. Isn't.
He that flashy? Couldn in the cup?
Yeah, but he's proper double glazing.
Easy job, easy money. How'd you meet him?
He sad his mum. Fuck. Get out.
That's all right. He knows
his dad wouldn't be best. Please though.
Fucking have that.
So if you told about the trials.
No.
You met her. That scout
was fucking excited.
I thought it was going to blow
you right there in the pit.
I'm not going to the trials. I'm
not going to the trials rubbish.
I'm not what? Think of the money.
The supermodels, the
fans screaming for you.
I don't need all that fancy shit.
Fucking hell mate. Calm down.
You've got a ticket to we and
you're going to stay here. Oh yeah.
It's like you when you're singing,
isn't it? Just do it. I love it.
Who gives a fuck if you love it?
What matters is that other
people love you doing it.
I'd have to get yourself to school.
I can't face it. Got an
ambassador of heaven.
And an exam, which you better have
studied for. Why do you think we had.
Pounding?
Have more than a pound
in head If you haven't.
I love it. But he talks
dirty. You go in, I take you,
but I've got a million
deliveries. God knows. One lounge.
With a kitchen bloody me.
The behind the Nigel Martin
Smith is creating band.
If you're.
Interested in boy bands. Quick,
quick it down at this is it.
This is.
He makes my.
Thank you.
And brat. Nigel Martin
Smith was for legal reasons,
an absolute sweetheart.
Go on. Then.
Under a first class cu.
A buzzer took a monkey
for a ride in the air.
The monkey thought that
everything was on the square.
The buzzer tried to throw
the monkey off of his back.
The monkey grabbed his
necker said. Now listen.
Jack.
Sinatra.
That'll do lad. You do know
this is a pop band. Yeah.
Tell you what I'll do. Milli Vanilli. No.
So shall we tell them that you found
your man and they can all fuck our phone?
Don't you now don't.
You get up. It'll be my pleasure.
And if I hadn't winked in that moment,
none of this would've happened.
I wouldn't even be here talking to you.
Regulate your swags,
you'll no talent If you jumped
up and beat him on the car.
It's only been a few hours. Love. He's
got no eye for it now. You have to wait.
Fucked him. It's all right through me.
Mean, look at me. Do I look
like a pop star to you?
You look like you always
look exactly and tell
as fuck.
It's going to die alone and fat and
be craned out of his shit in stone.
Fuck. Hello you
dad.
You've voice so low now.
Course had the wrong number.
How are you dad?
Never better. Never better.
Now listen, I haven't got long,
but I was thinking how about
you come visit? Really?
Yeah. Why not? School
holidays are coming up.
You should come see what they
all wants me up to. I mean.
Yeah, definitely.
Smash.
It, right? I better go, go
house. Wait for no and all that.
Let him.
Oh no, no. Does everybody
have a good time?
Peter can have a good time.
I was lucky enough to grease the
stage with this next stack at a talent
competition. I'll never forget
it. He gave me a five. Oh,
it was sadder than that.
So please put your hands
together for the irresistible,
the I the ire.
I give him a turn out to 10. Mr. Switcher.
I come up for you.
The.
Thought was losing that stage left
table for a bit, but I won 'em back,
didn't I? Oh yeah. Glad you reached out.
A shock in a good way. Thought
it was about time. Youth.
Hey, I forgot to tell you I'm
joining this pop band. Really?
When do you start? Well, I'm
not deathly in yet, but Well,
it's just now about March
Love, isn't he? Yeah.
Actually you might want to
keep that bed out for me.
Found my exams complete. Fucking balls up.
Mum's going to put me on the
first press back on the tell her
fucking.
You've got to learn from
this, you all of this
because you're learning from the best.
Seeing my dad surrounded
by the stars of yesteryear,
galvanise my needs become famous,
but I had a more immediate problem.
What's mum going to be like when I tell
her I failed my exams fucked up the rest
of my life?
Did you have a good time?
Yeah. Smash it.
How is he?
Great.
I've got something to tell you.
So have I. You're in that band.
What you got in? You're.
In that band.
And I never had to tell her
I failed my exams until now.
Sorry, mom,
fuck off me.
Nigel was my introduction
to the adult world.
It was fucking terrifying like Willy
Wonka. But what did I care? I was 15.
I was going to have four older brothers
and we were going to take over the
world. Howard Donald panel beater.
If you've got a dent on your car,
Howard, count it out.
Jason Orange was a featured dancer
on a genre defining TV music show
called The Hit Man and her
Mark Owen,
little Marco was lovely.
And then of course
there was Gary Barlow
and my first thought was,
who's this dickhead in those trainers?
They are. So three years ago,
Gary was a genius, an actual genius.
He'd been playing the working men's
club since he was 12 years old and was
earning more money than his teachers
triple was. Gary sang like an
angel, but he danced like a twa.
I recall thinking two things that day,
A fifth of the spotlight
is better than nothing. And
if anyone from Stokes
Evening, I'm fucking dead.
Probably.
All around. No coriander for the
boys. Thank you. No coriander.
Whenever Nigel took us out for
dinner, he would always say,
I'll put this on your
account. He wasn't joking. He.
Recoup it all. Look
around the table. Cool.
In five years we're all
going date each other
Bob. We'll be fucking rich.
Now first things first,
we work up our act. We take it on the
road. What about a record deal? Oh,
that'll come. We'll get your demo sent
out. We'll let the bidding war begin.
But before that, let's
shore up your back stories.
Mark and Jason, you are in a break
dancing group together. Gary and Howard.
You were in a band called the
Cutest Rush. It was either the lead,
you weren't then magic and you're not. Now
you went to bit apart in Brook's side.
Oh, it's fucking great, wasn't it?
You were a bit much, frankly.
Can't we just say my songwriter?
I got twin of lyrics. Well, I can
hold my breath for two minutes,
but I'm not trying to be
a fucking submarine, am I?
Gary writes the songs. Yeah,
you locked over the line.
Oh, and also your name's not
Robert anymore. It's Robbie.
I fucking hated the name Robbie.
But it was the single best thing Nigel
did for me. Robbie became a character,
something I could hide behind. Oh.
No.
The name of the band.
Oh, Nigel, I've got a good one. Kick it.
Fast.
Fucking oh,
I've already got the name and
it's brilliant and clench.
Take that.
Initially I just plan was for
us to be a band to the Gacy.
Now fear people are
rumoured about my sexuality.
The worst one is that all my gay friends
who slept with me and said I was crap,
I'm not bothered. They said slept
with them. These are my being crap.
I'm worried about
That night I discovered a wonderland.
It was welcoming and
nonjudgmental. I'd found my people,
I'd found the promised land
for the entire first 18 months
we made 180 pounds each.
We played gay club after gay club
to a night until out of nowhere.
Nigel booked as a clock full of girls.
Fucking, I'm warning you
will you your job. I felt like.
I've got good news. Good news.
We've had some interest from a
few record labels. Oh, in London.
London, yes. Absolute. Yes. Thank you.
So deserve it. You've all done really well
for one of you.
We all know who that is, don't we?
Robbie talked to a local recorder.
Well like the A team.
I'm a sexy, talented one.
Who the fuck gave you,
you know I almost started to like you
but you fucking ended that, haven't you?
Fuck off. What was that?
I think Robbie's developing
a sense of human eye.
Do you think it'd be difficult
to go to Soong Trent,
get another scally with ratty
hair and call him Robbie.
Right? The club wants us
to do a meet and greet.
There's going to be lots of girls in
here, so let's get one thing clear.
Keep it in your pants. No
touching, no telephone numbers,
no dating ever, ever.
What's the point of bringing
him up? Alright, bring him up.
Nigel had many rules fortay that and
the most important was that we always
appeared attainable. Safe
sex is important. Teenage,
he even made us do a safe sex tour
for the Family planning association.
So remember, don't be
a full cover. His tool.
Actually, I took it all to heart. Gary,
I was happy to play Gary for the moment.
I'll never wash my hands again.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Oh my god. Hurry up. Real
real up quick. Oh that Gary,
I stopped and there was
the one time in Nigel's
life, he wasn't the
biggest wca in the room.
Right? Straight up.
There's no appetite one or need
for boy bands. They died of death.
It's all grunge Now.
Did you hear our demo?
Yes.
These boys are going to take this country
by storm and if you don't sign them
right now,
I'll take them to another label and you'll
be the twat that let the biggest band
in history slip through
your pudgy fucking fingers.
You won't do any of that
because everyone else said No,
I only agreed to see you because
my daughter saw you boys live
and she's obsessed.
She assures me that you were
amazing in the flesh. So
I'm going to take a punt that you
are right about these boys. Now,
which one of you is Gary?
It's me.
Hitting you with the.
Floor show,
kicking with your torso for getting high
and the girls even more So wave your
hints if you not with a man,
can I kick it? Yes you can.
I got you got soul.
Everybody. I've got the gift.
Got to stick it in. The.
Being in the classes. Music for your
masses with no head, no backstage passes.
Have a proper gig for life. But when
I rock the my car, rock down mic,
no love than you with the
wrong. If you can't go to K,
but your best friend can.
Every day there's a new l, A coach brings
them in, they come into the garden,
they nip the wood off the
fence, the clothes off the lie.
Someone should do something about
this. They want this to happen.
I went down the post office the other
day and someone called me a bush lag. Oh,
love you. You're not posh. It's not funny.
I can't make my deliveries anymore.
I'm having to shut the business rub.
Guess who's recording the
lead vocals for our new song.
I'll get us out the shit hole and
buy us a fortress just like Gary.
And why would I want a
bigger house to hide in?
That was the first time my
mom closed the curtains.
I'm going to bet if they'll let me.
She didn't open them for another 10 years.
Hey.
Love.
Where's my.
Little Robert? God, I'm a pop star now.
Fat little Robert isn't going
to sell any albums, is he?
I'm just giving the
people what they want. Now
I go on stage and act like a gladiator
and I present that the whole world is
looking to see
and they all act according me.
See what I see man. Stop.
See, that's the craziest
thing, man. I can't.
Now fuck off.
I'm here at Taper HQ with the man
responsible for the band's success.
Nigel Martin Smith. It's quite a.
Display. It is. Yeah. Yeah. We got
take that dolls. Take that calendar,
take that pillows so you can sleep
with, take that. I'm just kidding.
Probably got that bit
out for our ethnic fans.
We have Take that for Bush ca dolls.
Rob is inside. Mark who's inside? Jason.
Jason's inside Howard and
they outfit Snugly and Gary.
That's how cute.
Lyrics. Just some ideas.
Come on then.
Give us a look. Will
they get credit? I dunno.
Are they any good?
Wouldn't you like to Now.
You've got it. Whatever. At
least pretend to give it toss.
What about all this?
Yeah, but you kidding?
Do you have any idea how naff people,
oh fuck off Robbie. They bloody love us.
Do you think Oasis does this
shit? We need to branch out.
That's something that's not so fucking.
Cringeworthy though. And
this coming from you.
The one who only shines when
the light's on him let us speak.
You think you can just turn up scribble
some worthless shit and get your name
next to mine in the song
credits. You add nothing to this,
any of it.
Turn back. I love you.
Do you remember? No matter.
Just hold it there for a second.
Thanks Rob. That was better. Yeah,
you're still a little behind.
Oh, I've always lied a little bit behind.
What we might do Robbie, is if we record
it, we can just record line by line.
Yeah. And then we can just
sketch it together here.
No, I can do it all at once.
Yeah, let's just go again.
Yeah, let's go.
I've got it.
Sure thing. Here we go.
I Those you. Do you remember?
No matter what was happening,
I was there with you,
but if we all stand up
possibility you worthless.
You can't do it coming.
Wayne, how about, okay, great.
Cheers. Robert. Give it a sec.
Gary. Oh, you heading there?
Oh my God. Did your best and
now I feel like the bad guy.
So ready. George. Difference.
Thank you. Oh, this is a hit.
I didn't know it but I was suffering
from depression. I hate that phrase.
Suffering from depression.
I'm so scarlet O'Hara.
I do declare Mr. Butler. I'm been
surfing with a bad depression.
Clinically depressed is
better. Way more love. Cody.
Dad. Here he is there.
I didn't know you were.
Oh my god. I told you didn't I? You
owe me a pin one. Can I get a photo?
Yeah, of course you can.
I'll check it for you. Okay,
here we go. Say fuzzy pickle wiggle.
Lovely. Thank you. So did you want
one me here? Eh? Great idea. Yeah,
of course you do. Come on, look
at that. Hey, peas in a po.
Can I use you? Can I use your loop?
Yeah. It's number two.
Be my guest. Oh my God.
She seems nice.
Oh yeah. Terrific. Terrific. You know
they've corded up the whole street,
don't you? There's girls everywhere.
They're not playing nice either.
It's fucking blood sports over there.
I told the security like you were my
son. I nearly got torn apart town.
Belong lunch.
No, no. Just passing
through back home tonight.
After I collect my pint. We
should know you were coming.
What's this?
I think.
Prozac. What have you got to
mope about? You boys are flying.
Bloody Brit domination. I've been
telling everyone about that. I know.
It's just.
It's all a bit of a one and dad,
it's like I can't keep
track of who I am anymore.
Well go and ask that lot out there.
Hey, you know exactly who you are. You.
The lunch would be I pressed to
pick him out of a police lineup.
Well not Gary obviously,
because he's the creative one,
but you live in the dream youth.
How can you not know who you are and
there are thousands of people screaming
your name.
Jesus.
I say you.
Looks the best.
Are you fucking retarded?
All of.
Cut out tan alo. You dodgy
curry. Good job. It's simple.
Sing the harmonies and told the lion
back that one. Yeah. Know your place.
You make us the right fucking idiots.
Do you remember?
Because he writes all the
songs. Gary makes all the money.
He's got a mansion in the north of England
with a driveway full of cars for me
and a butler while I'm
still living at moment.
He's el now
and they're all waiting
for me in the garden.
I used to talk about the
problem and I am the problem.
Yeah.
Robbie,
well we've all been having a think and
we'd quite like to do the next tour
as a four piece just to
see if we can do it. Yeah.
To see if we can do it.
Perhaps you could focus in on
that sole long material you've.
Been working on. Or to be honest, Rob,
we've been doing it as a
four piece for a while.
I think you should.
Is that it then?
Yeah.
Can I take this?
Yeah, Rob, if you want.
This is it. This is the last.
So unimpressed, but so in all
such a saint, such a whole,
some self-aware, so full of shit.
So indecisive. I'm
watch me. Come on.
Fans are still reeling from
the announcement of what.
Williams has split from take out.
My switchboards set up after reports
of suicides have been flooded by.
Reputation.
I
so sweet because I'm But I'm your son.
The cheeky member of Take that is now
the fucked up messy one who's gone and
broken up the band and
people hate me for it,
but really they're only saying
what to think about myself.
I'm a raging cocaine habit. I'm
full blown alcoholic and I'm 21.
I think I was always going to
be an alcoholic or an addict.
I just had the money and the
means to get there quicker.
But I'm also incredibly
competitive. I mean,
I've no idea how I'm going
to pull off the solo career,
but there's an energy to
revenge and it's very,
very seductive.
Three. Three.
It is going to happen. No ifs, no
buts, no left, no right straight head.
I'm going to be fucking massive.
Massive. What? Fuck.
Scared the shit out of it.
You said you wanted to be massive.
Oh well I was just wishing
for a little extra girth.
What is it you do?
Oh.
Sorry. Should I already know that?
No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm
a singer and songwriter.
Really? Yeah. Yeah. Just started out on
my own. I was didn't take that anyway.
Wait, bad.
I don't mind me. I'm
sorry. Now you all right.
I mean is why I left dancing around
in the background like a camped
masochist. I mean if I'm
going to look like a tosser,
I might as well do it downstage centre.
So it's all about the spotlight.
Wow. Or even any Luke, just full fist.
I'm just saying if you're
going to start out on your own,
you might as well be honest about why.
Shit. You a journalist.
Fuck no. I'm just curious.
I'm not sure you'd understand.
Try me.
I was given a golden ticket but it felt
like I was bound in gag for the last
five years and not in a hot way either
in like a battery to the scrotum sort of
way. I dunno. Sexy, mysterious mass lady.
I guess I've just reached a point where
I want to prove I can make it on my own.
Prove to who?
Everywhere. See,
I told you you wouldn't understand.
Oh fuck me.
Nicole Appleton, she and her sister
were members of the Girl and All Saints.
Their manager was a hunter.
She was absolutely lovely with
the single worst taste in men.
Yeah, you're right.
Fame is so fucking weird, isn't it?
It's like that uneasy feeling you get
when they bring the cake out and the whole
restaurant seems happy. Your birthday
to you. You can't wait until happy.
Your birthday stops being sung. I mean,
people are doing a really nice thing,
but you just want it to stop so
you can eat the fucking cake.
Yeah.
Now you've got your gag off.
What are you going to say?
I've got some lyrics.
I mean they're basically different
takes on how much I hate myself.
I so a Christmas album then.
I'm not sure about an album at the moment.
I'd just like to write one good song.
You are overthinking it. Just write
about whatever's in front of you.
I've got a bow. The man's made a rubber.
I caught a hole in the
back and use my carcas.
Yes, it's a hit. See,
you're going to be massive in no time.
I was hugged. She was me.
We will walk.
We will free
if there's somebody called.
She's the one.
He's the one.
It's not competition girls just.
Start. Yeah,
this place is posh as fuck. You know I've
just seen fucking bono in the toilet.
Have a look. Tiny,
haven't you?
Hey, so know my girlfriend, Kayla. Kayla.
I'm in a club for No, she ain't got a
club for No, her pelvis is out anyway.
She's up the duff. I'm going to be a dad.
That's amazing.
I'm surprised that other
things don't work. Still
coming in at number one.
It's new. It's brilliance.
It's never, ever, by all sakes.
Can't believe it babe. You
deserve it. Love your next.
Nicole.
Give us a few words.
Okay? I can't believe we did it.
Everyone who supported us through the
years, your family and we love you
and to my best friends,
having a number one is amazing.
Getting to celebrate it
together is the best.
Liam Gallico was the lead singer of
Oasis, the biggest fan on the planet.
I'm in love with their songs.
I'm in love with the lyrics.
I'm in love with how provocative they
are. I'm just totally in love with them.
I don't want to be. Fame
is a powerful aphrodisiac.
It means even ugly people can get laid.
Mind.
You.
Guitars.
Do that too.
What's all that about then? God,
number one is that, oh fucking hell.
If I orgasmed every time I had a
number one, I'd be fucking dry. Yeah,
you listen to this. Yeah. He fucking
knows what we're fucking talking about.
You want a number one? You should
have stayed Gary's backup dancer.
Guess who's ad the largest ever demand
for concert tickets in British history?
Me and the band. Networth. Right?
125,000 fucking screaming
cunts. That's insane.
That's how you know
you've made it fucking no.
Me and Liam wouldn't always be so.
Cuddly.
Would anybody like to see me fight? Liam?
Liam, once your money, once my money.
We'll get in the ring and we'll have a
fight. But you cannot watch it on tv.
What do you think about that Now are
you going to do it or are you going to.
Pussy out your fucking win?
Thankfully he wasn't in
the country at the time
with Come on, let's go this shit.
Nice.
Chat to you enough. Fuck off cu.
Hey wrinkle toes. You
coming or what? Yeah,
come on.
Good evening. That wish you
all look gorgeous tonight.
Here's one from a new
album. Thank you very much.
Hi for me,
aren't you miss number one
if United Kingdom of Britain.
And where did you end up.
Got kidnapped by Lynn Gallagher.
Oh.
And you look like you're
having a good enough time
anyway. I was just trying
to make sense of it.
Before.
Never ever.
You don't like our soul. It's fine.
I'm not sure it's the number one, but.
People seem to like it.
It would be nice if my.
Screaming,
jumping around making
fucking speeches and talk
that bullshit about family.
It's not bullshit. It's
everything to me. Right.
So did you tell them that you gave up
half family to get that number one then?
Nah. But you left that bit out of
your little speech, didn't you?
So fucking.
Ugly when you're wasted.
Well, I'd be sober, Tamara.
Oh, won't that be nice?
I can't believe I had to tell everyone
that you left tonight because something
important came up. It did.
Getting fucked up with your mates.
At least they know how.
Write a problem. Number one.
It's more than you can scribbling
in lyrics and your little notebook,
but you're too scared
to show them to anyone.
Oh, number one is she's
giving out your advice.
I didn't ask her to lie to your
friends because guess what?
I don't give a fuck what they
think. You give a fuck what.
Everyone thinks from that's
all you give a fuck about.
We need crisps. Alright then.
I don't want you wasting away on me.
You have washing machines in London.
Yeah.
But you do it with love.
Oh, you bugger. You should come
home more often. She's slowing down.
Rubbish. I'm allowed to live all of
us anyway. I'm about to be very busy.
I rang around and I've got a meeting
with the producer called Guy Chambers.
Nicole's got a number one fucking Gary's.
Got number ones. Yeah, right. I am
turning into a farm yard animal.
I wouldn't change your hair on
your head. Bless you dad. No,
I spoke to your dad.
Oh that makes one of us been radio
silent since I left the band.
He's agreed to see you again.
Agreed. What do you mean?
What'd you have your visit
on your school holidays?
He called me. Remember he
said it had been too long.
He invited me.
Yes, that's right. I told him to.
You see.
Oh Jesus. Oh
hey I'm cry.
It's all right.
So right doc, I'm sorry.
Moran's complex. Yes.
You just picking up Ro checks
a whole life with a yt.
Yes are a lineup in the line and now
suspects and a whi down the farm.
Witness this reclines of his Z
to my wishlist. So are puppet.
Act like the litmus test and she's like,
am I allowed to lit this? Okay. Okay,
hang.
On, hang on. Listen. I
appreciate you coming over,
but this isn't going to work.
Guy Chambers guy likes it when I talk
about the holidays and show the guy
like it when he agrees to let me
sing our songs. You don't mind dude?
So our lawyers had a chat
and here we are on a beach.
You've only heard half of
them and they're all the same.
I can't even tell when one
ends and the next one begins.
It's like you've written lyrics you
think other people want to hear. I dunno,
that might be okay in a boy band.
So you want me to get
naked on the first date?
Well, it's the only way this works.
Songs are only valuable if
they cost you something.
Luckily I'm always
naked on the first date.
You're going to laugh. Do it on
the inside. Yeah, A dent easily.
Can you give me a C?
You can't better make it be for high.
You can't man affect your miracle.
The signs was pitiful that day
and love is scared and too cynical.
Passions just physical
night you admit to defeat.
Cry yourself blind.
This of course,
if you can't wake up in the morning
because
if you lost
something beautiful come your way.
A second verse the D.
No, no, no. Hang on, hang on.
We have to double the chorus.
It'll sound crap. What was that list last,
right? That's the hook.
That's the gold there.
Something beautiful bit is cream
on top. You've got lost, hot,
tired or lonely
and then you repeat. You
understand? Yeah, right.
We pick it up from the chorus and give
it some welling. Even if it's shit,
you've got to make it your shit. Two,
three.
If you can't wake up
control, you
won't
be one more time.
Something beautiful will come your way.
You are not as crap as I thought. Thanks.
We need to clean it up a
bit, but as a start now,
what else have you gotten there.
And coming up? We have a surprise
guest in the studio is none other.
Let's take that bad boy. Robbie Williams.
Chris Briggs manager to the stars.
Amazingly he saw something in me.
I mean besides monstrous amount of
drugs and booze, it'll be nice and.
Intimate. 50 people or so. Contest winner.
That'll be super exciting and
just remember it's going out live,
so might you Shit some fucks.
You should start with a cover,
something people recognise. We want them
to recognise our songs and they will,
but you have to woo them first.
You got to get me to N with How about
you get through this one without giving
yourself a heart attack? Just give
me that. Alright, baby steps mate.
Look, I know this isn't much of a game,
but I dunno. Black Paul Networth. Hi.
Plus we need the air time. What
have you got to lose? Oh, what.
Is said? My dignity. But
take that or he stole it so
I mean it. Briggsy. I've
got to play networth.
Whatever it takes, it'll
take everything. Sure,
you're ready for that.
Then make every performance count.
Liable.
Watch.
2, 3, 4. You got to know how to bone,
air like Bon
do the mashed potato, do the
your hands on let.
Die. You've left the safety of the band
and now you're going out on your own.
How does that feel? I couldn't be happier.
I'm finally three and this
is only the beginning.
Well,
the first punches have been thrown at
Gary Barlow at number one while Robbie's
first album, life Through a
Lens has debuted at number 11,
Robbie's face now rests on a
national charm offensive tour.
Look up your daughter.
Look up your son.
You know what I need
you to do. Walk three.
With his new album, rocketing of
the Charts. Ladies and gentlemen,
Robbie Williams, please
welcome Robbie Williams.
Robbie Williams. Ladies and gentlemen,
he's an internationally lobster.
Being the pop star means you
can live all your fantasies,
I think is what's known as the
looky bastard. Well, being in a.
Relationship means I put away M shagging
boots, but I know where the closet is.
The great thing is I'm actually alive
now because back at old I voted the rear
of the year. Is that right?
You going to show us?
So it's let's say your box office, right?
I've got a platinum disc and then
I'm getting a double platinum disc.
Now it means I'm very famous.
And the winner is Robbie Williams. Rob.
Williams.
Is Robbie Williams. Robbie Williams.
A perfect end to a great
night for Robbie Williams.
I am sure you all recognise this
young man. Did you know had a father
come up and sit on's
knee? What I've got in.
Are you going to fucking hide
fucking.
Oh, thank God talk everything Peter Goway
do you know what Chrisy
any who sees an Alexis?
No one cares about that stuff anymore,
but tonight you have some tough show.
Mr. In the office. But this is
going to knock your socks off.
Rob. Rob, guess.
Who's playing Networth next summer?
Wait till I tell the lines. Hey, have
you thought about a support act? Now.
I could do you a couple of numbers
for a most. It's incredible.
It also comes with a new
record deal. It's a scene. Ah,
look at.
You. You're full of roof. I need a drink.
Look at this. Just swap the doctor
orders. Okay, I'll leave you to celebrate.
Congratulations. Thanks Chris.
Net was, how does it feel?
C little sinking.
It is like someone's picked size of an
after school game and it's go all gone.
Horribly horr wrong.
Just want to get thousands
bollocks. The audience loves you.
I can't do it.
I can't hurry. Networth,
I'll be like a lamb to the fucking
slaughter that tastes just stage fright.
You're not listening.
No, it's normal. Hey,
you know what's always out me
a little bit of dose. Courage.
I know it. Dad.
I'm sorry dad. No one buys a
ticket. Where your problems, son.
You want to know why
these people are goods?
Because they make other
people's problems. Go away. Dad,
stay please.
Wow,
the world is daddy's best. Mate.
A sudden change in fortune view. Is
it not that mean you're flying high.
Sober as a judge?
Well, sorry.
Talk. I have to do this.
Park's Robert, let's talk if we may,
about this success you've been having.
I mean, it is not the first time, is it?
You've had it before. Let's take that.
Would you say that this is
a different kind of success?
It means a great deal more to me now.
I'm about to perform in front of a
record crowd at Networth in a few weeks.
No, no. Stop it. Knuck.
It's only the biggest music
event in British history.
That's.
My way. But of course N Wales is not
the only record you've broken recently.
Is it? There's a matter of your new
deal with EMI 80 million pounds.
How does that feel?
I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams.
I thought I was quoting that lady
who famously won the lottery,
but she said understand.
So no one got it. Mind you,
I've said worse things in interviews.
How would you describe your
time with take that I was very.
Fortunate to be in Take back and
fall out to the Five Spice Girls.
What said down, didn't you?
Now you've connected with
many women in the past,
always going to talk about my fake line.
There's nothing to write home about,
which is a shame because mom
loves getting those letters.
I mean, how many fatties can
you have? Well the second one,
we didn't even get out of the car.
There's no way Natalie was
going to ruin her hair.
So they just jacked it up with this
all inside and the weather was.
I come to the.
Weather was horrendous, least to sell.
Was tired though. Probably
because I wasn't sleeping,
which is weird because
the bed wasn't insanely.
Comfortable. I even got the name of
the mattress in case we wanted to.
But you're finally settling down.
I have to be a realist.
We're both on tour a lot
and it can be difficult.
I.
Tell me, what's it like for
Robbie Williams to be in love?
Well, that's.
Difficult too.
F things are much easier.
You make me feel so small
that I hated you for it,
for making me feel so unnecessary.
The fucking awful things you do.
I thought you couldn't help it,
but you just don't want to
and I can't help.
You anymore
Broke.
Nick.
Please a fucking animal.
You need to calm down.
Tell what I mean. Guess how I can fix it?
You too fucking legs.
Easy eating up.
Come on. Oh, what the fuck?
He's alright. What shit?
You should have said no to
this one. The top of the pops.
You can't buy this kind of promotion.
What's the promote? Never was sold out.
The what? What
if you getting to the top of
side? Try staying on five.
Come on, you are up.
Leave it.
It's.
I I'm about to go on.
Something. Where have you Ben?
I've been trying to reach.
You. I know, I know. But listen,
I'll have to talk to you later.
Duck again because my penis, well,
he's accidentally shatter himself
and it's just a horror show.
It's.
Your nan.
She kept asking for you and
I tried calling you, but.
I'm so sorry. Love. She's gone.
Whoever pulls the sword out of the
stone gets to be the new king of
England.
Unofficial thumb on everyone's
lip. And in everyone's heart,
ladies.
And gentlemen, the ego has
So the next thing you know,
all the nights are whoa
and turning red. But
nobody could bullshit.
So you can imagine how everyone laughed
when Little Arthur stepped up for his
term. Everyone except Merlin.
Merlin just stroked
his beard and whispered
Arthur.
I know those sexy muscular
nights couldn't do it.
And you are just a little
father a child with,
but I believe in you.
I sit.
I feel.
They're out. Salt and
vinegar. Good morning.
Okay.
Hey, we should get the
boys together, okay?
Have a little mease up before you
concert tomorrow. Do you? I can't fish.
Okay, what time? Lift off.
It helps outside the fat.
I idea what it takes
to get up there. Sleep
back. Once you're up there, you're
smashing it. So that fucks me really off.
People say that
being not there the worst. All right?
You don't understand.
No, no. I don't understand.
At least I'm trying.
You know, all I wanted was for
you to ask me just once I'm doing
with work and a little girl
or I'm about to walk out to
125,000.
People, you've got no fucking
idea what that feels like.
And you've no idea that I earn in a month.
What you fucking snort in a minute or.
That Kaylee shacks up
with some fucking butcher.
And so I'm living in estate
surrounding my fucking psychopaths.
Oh that I only get to see my kid
for two hours every fortnight.
So you need money. Fucking how
you know jealousy don't suit you.
Are you fucking kidding? Alright.
Yeah, I might have close the fuck all,
but you have fucking nothing
and this coming from
you. Nothing. Nobody cu
know the difference between me
and you. Nate. It's not my money.
It's not your kid.
It's the fact that I had the fucking
balls to make something of myself.
You bought a ticket to the dream
and the dream came true and
yeah, fuck it. I am. I'm jealous of
that. You can keep the fucking rest.
The seats. Jesus somewhere waiting for me.
My love stands on golden
and watches the ships that go sail.
And the crowd goes mild.
Don't you get ready?
Youth going helicopter off
youth.
Jesus Christ.
You.
You bastard. I thought you'd passed out.
I have waited my whole life
for you to step up until
it took was booking the biggest
concert in British history.
What are you going on about
when you left us? Where's all.
This coming from? All those years.
I thought he's just sorting himself out.
He'll miss me so much and he'll come back.
Yeah, and I did.
Yeah, I, because Nan made.
You.
I didn't leave you in
nothing though, did I?
Where do you think your talent
comes from? Jesus Christ.
You've forgotten how fucking lucky
you are. That's your problem.
It's a privilege to do what we do, what.
We do. You live in a caravan,
you perform to 15 fucking people a night.
And I love every second of it and I
don't need pills to get me through.
Sure, I'll give anything to play
to a big crowd. Of course I would.
But if I only ever plate to one
person for the rest of my life,
I'd be happy giving everything I've got.
Unless that person was me though, right?
Really? Who's been cheering
you on from the wings?
Who was it? Stop you from ruin.
Wouldn't Williams if it wasn't.
You've always been there
for Robbie Williams dad.
Why can't you just be there for Robert?
You have to watch the football then. Yeah.
Nice one. I will see you in six years.
You don't have it.
That's why you never made it.
Not your husband, not
your father. Not anything.
The fucking
everything has come down to this.
They've come for me and
I'm going to die out.
Good evening Network.
My name is Robbie Williams.
This is my for the next two hours,
your ass is my.
Come on, come
this part. So
shame.
I will grow through this.
Lord. I'm doing all I can.
Someone to love me.
I need to rest in home.
Keep me safe from home.
Lord. I feel the
getting before my
is my soul.
Heals the shame. I will grow
through this pain. Lord,
I'm doing all I care.
I lost the house. The worst thing
was I lost the ability to care.
You are next. If you want to share.
I feel a bit stupid to be honest.
I'm just a chaff. They've got
everything they ever wanted
to be a fucking embarrassing. To be frank.
I was taught that fame
would solve everything.
Fame's got fuck called to do with me.
It's about acting how everyone else's
fantasies, they're shagging the boo in.
They're showing your buttocks on
tv, people cheering you for it.
Fame looks good in a photo.
They say your life freezes
at the age you become famous.
So I'm 15. I'm stunted.
I'm un old
and that's why I'm always like,
oh, it's okay. I think I'm a court.
I'm fine with it. So I
get there before you do.
I fucking.
Take.
Myself for it.
Sometimes it's a curse to
get everything we want.
Repairing close relationships is a
good first step to repairing ourselves.
I know
the I.
To be.
Good evening folks. Good evening
you. Sls. Oh, good evening folks.
So who is Robbie Williams? Well,
I've been called many things,
narcissistic punchable shit, eating
twa. But while I'm all those things,
I want to show you how I really
see myself to sit back, relax,
and I give you a right
fucking entertaining.
So.
The story starts.
This is the last song of the evening.
It's sad than that. It
is much sadder than that.
Thank you for being a wonderful audience
tonight and making my dream come true.
I want to thank my mom for
being there when I needed you.
Always.
You guess it folks.
Now the end is if you
know the word single,
if you don't show up for the sound,
the final curtain, my friends
I'll say,
and my case on which I'm
certain I live.
I have travelled each and
am everybody.
Now. I couldn't finish the show without
mentioning someone else here tonight.
Cheryl. Lot to the same
mannerisms as this person.
People say I sing a bit like him too.
He's made me who I am. All the
good things and a touch the bad.
And I wouldn't be where I am without him.
We haven't performed
together for 25 years,
but I've wanted to every day since.
Please welcome to the stage my dad.
Thank.
You very much. What do you think
youth? Shall we light them up?
Tell it like it's that.
Regret. I have had a few.
Me too, but then again,
too few a mansion.
I did what I had to do.
And sorry, through
each, across, each, careful
along.
I'm sorry I up. You always, you know.
Now look at me. You're one of the gods.
And.
The Conway. Everybody, my dad,
or at least that's what
mom told us. I've loved.
I have left and cried. I've had my film
of and
I find it all so
to thing I did.
How may I see Not in?
Oh no. Oh no. Not me.
I did
what has.
None. This is your Gruson
singing and I love you.
I did it.
Who did I love when I was a kid?
I love Frank Sinatra.
I love my dad and he's an
entertainer. Shit. That's who I am.
That feels good to me.
I want to make the 12-year-old at
my Nan's watching TV on a Saturday
night feeling safe.
I wanted to make that same
12-year-old feel safe on stage.
I'm fucking entertainer. It might be
cabaret, but it's world-class cabaret.
I'm the fucking best at it.
Fuck.