Beyond Limits: Into the ADHD Mind: Rising Above Failure (2025) Movie Script
1
- The MDS is one of the most iconic
ultra races in the world.
It's the one race that a lot of
multi-day ultramarathons
base themselves on.
(typing clicks)
(dramatic music)
The margins are so small,
on whether you finish or don't.
(dramatic music)
- It's renowned as the
hardest foot race on earth.
- There is always the risk
that something could happen.
You have to make sure
everything is in place, just in case.
- Every part of me wants to stop
and I can't cool down.
- There's one goal
and it's to get from A to
B, as quickly as possible.
And ideally not die halfway through it.
(dramatic music)
- One simple mistake
here, your race is over.
- Everything's about extremities.
One of the major systems for me,
is this all or nothing approach.
Basically, the more I mess myself up,
the longer I feel better.
(laughs)
(dramatic music)
(groans)
(mixer whirrs)
- [Child] I did it!
- [Child] No you didn't.
- Arthur, you want the first one?
- [Arthur] Yeah.
- Do you like making your pancakes?
- I do, I like making pancakes.
So, I've known Simon for,
probably, nearly five years.
I found out he was into running,
probably within the first five minutes
of my interview with him.
- It was quite clear from first meeting him
that he's all or nothing.
You know, he's all in,
basically, with everything.
- After knowing Simon,
he does have those, kind of,
attributes, whereby, if he wants something,
he will go out and get it.
- So I first met Simon in
Peru, on our jungle ultra.
I think it was his first
multi-day, at the time.
So it was a big step up for him.
He started off as a client and he's become
a really good friend
of mine over the years.
- My name's Simon Blair,
I'm a business owner.
I was diagnosed with a
ADHD, middle of last year.
It's been a journey since then.
But I've got three children
and I'm an ultra runner.
- So the Marathon des
Sables is the one in the desert.
- Oh.
I don't want you to do that.
- Why don't you want me to do that?
- Because you're gonna
be gone for, like, ever.
- I'm gonna be gone forever?
- Yeah.
Taking forever.
- Actually, daddy probably
doesn't know, when he's away,
what do we do when we come home from school
and before we leave?
What do we do on the computer?
- We look where you are.
- [Faye] We track where you are.
- So you look at where
my little dot is moving.
- [Faye] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- [Faye] And panic when it hasn't moved.
- Yeah.
Or it's in the wrong place.
- I don't think he's gonna
make it to the finish line.
He can make it close.
- Why do you not think
that daddy's gonna make it?
- He didn't make the last one.
(Simon laughs)
- 'Cause you didn't make the last one.
I think what Flo is trying to say,
is, that she thinks you will make it
but if you don't, that that's okay too.
Is that right Flora?
- Yeah, definitely.
- In 2021, post-pandemic,
I went and tried to complete
the Marathon des Sables.
But I think, with some honesty,
I probably wasn't quite mentally match fit.
I think it's taken me this
long to build myself up
to a point where I feel
mentally resilient enough
to go back to the scene
of the original crime.
- There's always a danger
in terms of doing these
kind of things.
As his family's concerned,
I would've thought that Faye
is probably the one who's got
the most, sort of, issues over it.
- A big concern for me, is,
Simon being filmed while doing this.
It's like an extra pressure.
And when he starts his run,
we have no contact at all.
It is just relying on the
tracker to see where he is.
I am not settled until
he is past that finish line
and then I'm like, fine.
I worry.
The children miss him.
- I think when people think
about deserts, they think about,
you know, rolling sand
dunes and sandstorms.
Some things are far more
terrifying than sandstorms
and rolling sand dunes.
Nothingness is more scary than that.
- People with Simon's personality type,
with Simon's brain, need this.
They need this in their
life, to be able to function
and to be the best version of themselves.
To keep pushing and keep succeeding.
- About five or six years
ago, I took on therapy.
I woke up one day and
I just didn't feel great.
I, you know, had that brain fog
and that veil of, just a
shade over my normal lens,
you know, my positive lens.
And I, you know, I went and sought therapy
and some advice, straight away.
For me, it's been the best thing
that I've ever done, really, for myself.
- So Simon's diagnosis came about
because I'd been doing a
lot of mental health education
with his team.
So he'd got to know and trust me.
He recognized that he can be
quite impulsive and energetic
and that's been a real strength at work.
But at times it meant
that he was distracted
or struggled to focus or
other people would say,
you know, "You're not paying attention.
You forget details and things, you know".
It's hard sometimes to be
all over the detail of things.
- But her opening up
that discussion, for me,
led to me getting tested.
Not surprisingly, it
came back fairly clear.
- I think it was both a
shock and not a shock, really.
- I think he was relieved, actually.
I think he knew.
I think it was just having a label,
so he could say, right, now I understand.
- I think ADHD has been
a part of my character
for as long as my memories go back.
It's only just recently that I've realized
how central to my being that that is.
- Yeah, I think it made
sense of a lot of things for him.
- The results have been around
the idea of understanding.
There aren't solutions.
There's no solutions.
I think, you know, taking drugs
to try and help certain
byproducts of ADHD, is an option.
I haven't explored that.
For me, it's given me a much
greater understanding about
who I am.
It's just confirmed
something that I probably,
subconsciously already knew.
And now I'm embracing
that, as like a central principle
to what I am.
(dramatic music)
- It's interesting to
think, why would Simon,
who's really successful at work,
want to punish himself out in the desert?
But, my understanding, just as a spectator,
you know, these ultramarathons,
is, it's a real chance to,
kind of, almost take
yourself right to the edge.
To find out what you're capable of.
To really find out where,
you know, failure lies.
And that's very healthy for the ego.
It's really good for the
ego to be tested in that way.
- Search for balance is now become what
I'm aspiring to try and find and retain.
But, I can't, a lot of the time
because it's just not
natural for that to happen.
So the extremities of what
ADHD can do to you mentally,
is that it pulls you one way or the other,
just in the most fierce ways.
- He's always gonna be a driven guy
and this is just a vessel
to keep that drive going.
(gentle music)
- Part of me dreads this event.
Looking down those long straits
and visualizing the sand dunes and
just the memories of the overwhelming heat.
- He was facing, probably
one of the hottest years
that race has ever had.
It was a flip of a coin,
as to whether he was going to finish.
In any race, in extreme heat.
There's a few things that
kinda jump out straight away.
The Sahara Desert, the Namib Desert,
can often go, 45, 50 degree heat.
With that comes real risk of death
by, heat stroke, dehydration.
And it can happen extremely quickly.
- I had the unfortunate experience of
running next to this guy,
running almost parallel to him,
when he was collapsing repeatedly.
I went to help him.
There were some other
people there who were doctors.
10, 15 minutes later, I saw
a helicopter fly over my head.
There was a very solemn, somber
announcement that evening.
It was announced he'd died,
as a result of being on the course.
- I was messaging the company,
going, "Is Simon Blair okay?
I'm Simon Blair's wife".
I hadn't heard anything.
- It was playing on my mind a great deal.
'Cause I was already extremely tired
and I had nothing left to give,
without taking some serious risks.
And I decided that the best thing for me,
would be to go home.
- When he rang me and said,
"I'm not gonna carry
on", I burst into tears
'cause I knew what he
would be like if he didn't do it.
- I'd never seen him like that,
after he got back from
the MDS with that failure.
I'd never seen that Simon before.
That was unusual to witness, as a friend.
- As a family, we kept saying
how proud we were of him, regardless.
But, after the Marathon des
Sables, he was really quite low.
- Anyone with ADHD, which
I also have, will know that,
you know, that we've all
got this, kind of, fixation
on certain things and obsessions.
And, you know, running in
ultramarathon's are one of his.
And, I think, him actually pulling out,
is probably braver than continuing.
So I think, actually, full
credit to him for going,
do you know what,
this is getting dangerous,
now I'm gonna pull it.
- I suppose, I was actually
proud that he stopped.
Because, although I wanted him to continue,
I mean, that would've been
really dangerous and very stupid.
- The whole process is quite long
and, you know, all the measuring out of
various powders and potions.
And then you see it in this form
and you're, kind of, like, yeah, okay.
We're kind of, one step
closer to being ready to go
with day one.
- A lot of sweets.
- Lots of sweets, yes, day
one, day two, day three,
day four, day five and day six.
And a little medical stuff.
- Just in case you get hurt.
- Just in case you get hurt, yes.
- The first bit really
is the, it's the logistics.
You hear stories and jokes about people
cutting their toothbrush in half.
But people do.
Because it saves you a few grams.
It's a huge commitment.
- Oh, yes, that's perfect.
- There's a lot of planning
that goes into the successful
completion of a race.
People with ADHD are
often great in a crisis
but not so good in something
that needs a lot of preparation.
- I've got a lost box.
Memory.
You know, memory and retention,
forgetting where I put things.
I often forget my children's birthdays.
I just don't remember.
- The memory issues around ADHD are brutal.
A surprising number of
people find themselves getting
an ADHD diagnosis.
They've actually gone to the GP saying,
I think I might have dementia.
Yeah, memory issues are really common.
- I think, also, he's got so
much going on in his head.
He goes from one thing to another.
So trying to, kind of, keep up with him
and keep him focused on what he's doing,
at one thing at a time,
well, it's quite hard.
- The biggest problem he'll have,
is that he's turning his world upside down
to get this done.
- [Faye] He's extremely messy.
(Faye laughs)
- Being CEO of a company
and you're running an ultramarathon,
they are not two things,
they easily combine.
A lot of people with ADHD,
they've put in, sometimes, knowingly,
sometimes, unknowingly,
scaffolding and strategies
that have them doing well.
- He has got very good at writing, like,
a spreadsheet, that he follows.
So he will send me that spreadsheet
and we just have to tick it off.
- If you don't put it in place,
with real knowledge of self,
it's too finely balanced, not to fail.
- To get ready for any of
these things, sacrifices a lot.
And the support network around Simon
is also gonna feel it.
His work colleagues, his
family, it's all encompassing
and, kind of, just consumes your life.
- In the run up to these events, you know,
I'm running and focusing on other things
and my emotional and physical
time just isn't as present.
One of the downsides of
ADHD is that it can make you
so intent on getting to your objective,
that actually, it can be
difficult for people around that.
When you're fully hyper-focused.
(gentle music)
- There's a lot of problems
that Simon will face, with ADHD.
But actually, when preparing
for these sorts of events,
there are a lot of things
that could fall in his favor.
The focus and the obsession with something,
is definitely gonna help him.
It's definitely helped him in the past.
- When you have three
children and then, holidays,
when they're not at
school, it's quite hard.
So, I think, actually, to
start with, I was a bit like,
well, it's a bit of a desperate measure
to take a break from your family.
(Faye laughs)
- I'm not sure that I would
be able to do these events
on a number of different levels,
if I wasn't supported in
the way that I am at home.
You know, I'm very fortunate in that way.
And my children, you know,
have learned from Faye.
I think Faye acknowledges
that I'm a better person.
I'm not made to feel
guilty for needing to do this.
I think back to my 20s and I
wonder how the fucking hell
I held any relationship
down, to be honest, you know
'cause you're just like,
it's so disruptive.
(gentle music)
- Now he's done a number of them,
it's a bit medicinal, really, I think.
(gentle music)
- I'm gonna have to dig deep, you know,
I'm aware of that, you know.
- I think, running, in its
nature, is quite simplistic.
In Simon's case,
I think it definitely
brings order to the chaos.
He's got quite a lotta chaos
in his world, in his mind.
Even narrowing down
the task list for the day,
get from point A to B,
can definitely just calm
the noise a little bit.
(gentle music)
- Thank you very much.
- All you've got to do, for seven days,
eat, sleep and run.
What an existence.
(gentle music)
- One, two.
- I mean, for me it just sounds
treacherous, to be honest.
So, I can't imagine why he
wants to go out and do this.
People fall very ill and
sometimes die on these things.
(gentle music)
- My brain was bouncing
around a bit last night.
I think I'll feel some sense of anxiety,
probably, when I see a sand dune,
even if it's two meters high,
it'll probably make me feel a bit peculiar.
Probably not how I felt at
the beginning of the last one.
(gentle music)
It was good.
- He won't think this now
but if he doesn't finish,
he'll also be okay with it.
I think he's actually at a
point in his journey with this,
where, the result is one thing
but he's realized the journey is important
or he will, quite quickly after.
- I think he's putting a
lotta pressure on himself.
Unnecessary pressure.
I think sometimes the bravest
thing, is to know your limits.
And I just hope that
he does know his limits,
this time around.
- He's physically stronger
but mentally stronger too.
I think he will be good.
He'll do well.
He better do it, gosh.
(dramatic music)
(crowd cheers)
(dramatic music)
- So that gives me anxiety.
That thing.
(dramatic music)
It is a sand dune but, it's not a mountain.
Thing is, it's probably
what I thought about a lot.
It's a strange feeling
'cause it's almost dreamlike.
- Everybody has a different,
sort of, mindset to things.
Some people allow adversity,
previously in their lives,
to affect the decisions that
you make going forward.
And some people use that as a position,
in order to turn that into a positive.
(gentle music)
- I have my own objectives
because I'm looking to discover myself.
I wanna understand me
and what makes me tick
and how I operate.
But actually, it's becoming
far more than that.
I want to help people open up a dialogue.
ADHD should be looked at as something
that can enable people to
provide positivity to the world.
Not blocking them off
and not listening to them
because they don't hit a certain criteria
that we've become used to.
You know, that results in the worst things.
(gentle music)
It's getting gradually hotter.
So I'm trying to be
really sensible, not gun it,
probably get halfway through tomorrow
and then start thinking
about taking some paresis,
while we're trying to be
careful with it, with water.
(crowd cheers)
(gentle music)
- I've been in this game
now for two decades.
I've either been running, coaching
or designing these races.
So I've got to see a lot of
people take these journeys on.
Simon is definitely one of those people
that enjoys the highs and the lows.
He wants to be rock bottom.
He wants to be in that
pain cave, that misery,
that thing that's gonna ultimately push him
to the absolute limit.
Because he knows and he's
experienced it in the past,
that with this low,
will become a real high.
The bigger the low, the higher the high.
And it impacts him in a way
that has been ultimately
life-changing for him.
- I think there needs to
be a lot more information
about ADHD and what
it is and what it isn't.
I think some people have a
very stereotypical view
of somebody with ADHD.
And they think they might
be that loud person at school
or that person that
sits and fidgets all day.
But there are different
versions of it for different people
and people will adapt differently.
- Predominantly hyperactive is only 15%
of people with ADHD.
It's a significant proportion
of women and girls.
And so the idea that it's just a boy
running around, is just wrong.
- People often ask me what ADHD is.
And it's one of the ways in which people
can be neurodivergent.
So, neurodiversity means,
basically, brain-based difference.
And it means that you experience the world
in a different way.
How you feel about the world,
how you think about the world.
So it's really common.
And ADHD's about one in 20 adults.
- I have done the Marathon
des Sables in 2019 and 2022.
I have ADHD.
I tried to explain it to people by saying,
it's like when you have your laptop open,
for most, you know,
kind of, typical thinkers,
if they have too many windows
open, it drives them crazy.
I always have that many windows open.
You can get very
charged up or very drained,
I think, just a bit
more easier than others.
And it's difficult to
prioritize, sometimes.
- I think it's really
important, as society,
to understand that
there isn't one-size-fits-all,
with any condition.
There are general symptoms,
some may be positive, some may be negative.
But how a person generally
handles it, is up to them.
- We're all unique individuals, plus ADHD.
- The event is so vast
and so big, it's a bit crazy.
So, I'm on a journey to
try and control the chaos
and stop the noise in my brain.
And, it's not quite like that here.
Whatever that means.
(dramatic music)
(crowd chants)
(dramatic music)
This isn't just a holiday to
me, this is a necessary part
of my own life journey.
If I don't do these things,
I will not perform at the highest level.
I'm always aspiring to try
and be as good as I can be.
I mean, if I start with
the guys in my tent,
I might stick with
them or track them a bit.
But I'm gonna run, kinda,
just getting through it,
I quite like my own time.
- I think he would hold his
hands up and say that he
struggles with his mental health
and actually, running, is
one of the things that helps.
- Feel pretty positive.
Just gotta tick through the miles.
(dramatic music)
In the case of ultra running,
the running itself is the therapy.
Such an odd thing to
try and explain to people,
that actually, when you talk
about running ultramarathons,
especially multi-stage
ultramarathons, people are,
kind of, intimidated by the scale of them.
But, perhaps they're
looking at it in the wrong way
or not looking at it through my eyes.
- Coming here, it's like a complete swap
of mental capabilities
and responsibilities.
People that hear that
I've done this race say,
"Oh, wow, you really like to
punish yourself, don't you?"
And it's a form of judgment, where,
I certainly don't view it as punishment,
I view it as push, especially
when you have ADHD.
If you push yourself to extreme limits,
it is actually recharging the batteries
and you go back, saying, there
was an enormous challenge
and I did that, I am capable.
I think people with ADHD
really feel that even more
than a typical thinker.
(dramatic music)
- So slow going.
Kind of just concentrating on
getting in other people's steps.
Wow, that's cool.
Shit.
Yeah, pretty cool.
(dramatic music)
All right, enough of that.
This will be here in a million years,
so I can come back.
(dramatic music)
I think the uphills broke
my legs in, actually.
I didn't really enjoy that
bit but, then suddenly,
running on sand felt a lot easier.
- He potentially uses ultramarathons
as a way to keep him in training.
You know, training and
getting out and exercising,
is basically medicine.
And it is what keeps you, kind of, focused,
your endorphins above,
you know, ultimately,
it's a dopamine deficiency problem, right.
And exercise raises that dopamine level.
I think it's almost a bit
of an addiction, probably,
on his part, in terms of the
fact that he needs to do it.
And, it's to say, I've got this
ultramarathon in the diary
and kinda use it as a bit of a way to
manage his day-to-day life, really.
- Last 15K's been hard.
It's all right, my feet
need a little bit of attention
but I really am okay.
(gentle music)
I will put 150% and more,
leave nothing on the table, whatsoever.
I don't think that's always healthy.
When it's over, this
brain fog, kind of, ensues.
At the time that you're going through these
periods of brain fog, it seems to be
after periods of extreme hyperfocus.
You just run out of energy.
It's almost like your mind
is trying to get some rest.
It's extremely frustrating.
And it's like a form of
depression, probably.
But without it taking you down those roads.
One of the reasons I love ultra running,
is it gives me a chance to go away
and turn off from all these things.
And when I come back,
the brain fog has lifted
and actually, I have then
complete clarity of thinking
and it's just complete peace
and straight line decision-making.
It all makes sense.
- Exercise is often talked
about as a treatment for ADHD
and there's a really
good evidence base for it.
It's also used as a treatment
for other things, like, depression.
And the reason it's good for the brain,
the reason, particularly with ADHD,
exercise is good for the brain,
is that it increases
noradrenaline and dopamine.
And those are low.
There are low levels of those
in people's brains, with ADHD.
It increases levels of those chemicals
in about five minutes,
which is quicker than
any medicine can work.
So it's something a lot of
people use, to help focus.
(gentle music)
- Yeah, it was all right.
I'm glad it's over.
Those second days are awful.
I think from the last
experience that I had with MDS,
I've learned how to treat myself.
So, like, if I feel tired,
I'm happy to go and
have a rest for five minutes.
Previously, I'd just run through exhaustion
and then I would've collapsed,
I mean, I'd be in a heap
but I'm in a controlled heap.
I'm just tired and resting.
Whereas, I'm not delirious today.
(Simon laughs)
Of course, I want the challenge.
But actually, there's a
big part of my mindset
that's looking forward to giving my brain
a bit of a holiday.
And I can just relax on the
most basic of things, you know,
by getting to a tree or getting to a corner
or, you know, just
getting to the end of a day.
It puts everything into context.
Seeing a desert and, you know, just things
in a complete natural space,
without any interferences
from us, whatsoever.
That to me, is peaceful.
That brings peace to the noise
that sometimes comes
into my brain, I think.
(dramatic music)
- There is an additional
challenge with his ADHD.
Where he's gonna have to
really focus on some certain areas
to be successful.
He's gonna have to quieten
that noise, quite a lot.
- Today is a long stage.
We're starting at six,
run for about three
quarters an hour, in the dark.
But it's quite a slog, to do 85 kilometers.
Just so much depends on how tough the first
three or four hours are.
Yeah, I'm just not sure
what we're gonna do yet.
(gentle music)
The long stage is a pretty huge moment.
Once you've cracked it, you know,
you've done something,
you're well over halfway.
So I'm just gonna take
today really slow and steady,
just tick off the kilometers
and the checkpoints
and see how I sit by two o'clock,
then make a decision
about whether I'm gonna stay
at a checkpoint for three
hours while the sun settles down
and then go again.
Or if I feel good, I'll go.
Yeah, last time I didn't do the long stage
'cause the long stage
was on the fourth day.
- [Runner] Simon.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
(Simon laughs)
Oh he's the joker.
You're a joker.
I didn't get to do the long stage
'cause I pulled out on
the morning of day four.
And I feel intimidated by it
but, I'm just gonna clock it off, you know,
checkpoint by checkpoint.
And have a good look at two
o'clock and see how I stand.
- [Announcer] Oh, the distance
today is, 85.3 kilometers.
(gentle music)
- The long stage is gonna be hard for them
to tap into flow states.
All of the other runners around them,
intense hunger, intense
thirst, which only grows.
It will be so hard to get
into the zone and stay in it
and not be distracted by your sore feet.
Your 15 blisters, the hot desert sun.
- There's some parts of
this where Simon's brain
will consume knowledge at a
rate, faster than anyone else.
But at the same time,
when it comes to the race
and it comes to the time
where it gets difficult,
one simple mistake here, your race is over.
Not drinking water on time,
not look after a small
blister, your race can be done.
(dramatic music)
- Woo, that was amazing, going down
That hill was weirdly, quite enjoyable.
But I'm just gonna really
try and stay within myself.
Don't overdo it.
It's dangerous to go too quick.
(dramatic music)
Yeah, it's getting hot now.
(dramatic music)
Hard work, getting over the brinks.
(dramatic music)
- It's just amazing.
As tiny as it is, you kinda, almost, like,
compartmentalize it
'cause it's just so beautiful.
(dramatic music)
- It's getting warmer, it
feels hotter than yesterday.
Those long straights are gonna be the issue
because I imagine there's
gonna be quite a lot of those.
The actual gains from running in the heat,
the peak of the day, on a
day like today, are just zero.
I just don't see any benefit.
I've felt, in reasonable
spirits up until now.
These flats, like the
one we're about to do,
the ones that cause me damage.
So, the next two stages
will be quite big for me.
I'm sure I'll revisit some old demons.
- A lot of the focus is on
the extreme temperatures,
with these things.
But people forget that
they're still running 150 miles
over five days.
Even in temperate
conditions, you'll still get
repetitive strain injuries,
hips, knees, ankles.
And you have to pay
attention to that, as well.
- Every day you're basically
doing a different ultra,
across some of the most
extreme conditions in the world.
All the time you're getting
stimulated by your environment,
by the other runners around you
but you've got this goal in the background.
So for some people who are neurodivergent
and have ADHD, that might
be the perfect sport for them.
- I'm a volunteer here at MDS.
I was a late diagnosed ADHDer.
I always think things end
up into buzzwords, you know
and ADHD is a superpower,
well, do you know what,
I suppose it's advantageous sometimes
but it's also a hindrance
because it's very nerve-racking sometimes,
when you just wanna be organized
and you wanna stop fighting with yourself.
- Grabbing hold of
hyperfocus is a wonderful thing.
And it's wonderful if
it fits the right thing
and it's terrible if it's the wrong thing.
- You can't always just hyperfocus
on what you wanna hyperfocus on.
(Rochelle laughs)
Like, something happens
and you have to do this,
this, this, this and screw everything else
that you were supposed to do
'cause you're hyperfocused on this.
- We have a huge problem,
that it's part of human experience
to have a problem with focus, right.
To procrastinate before something,
potentially to struggle to
focus every now and again.
That is not the ADHD experience.
The ADHD experience
is having a debilitating
impact on your life.
It's exactly the same way
that depression isn't sadness.
That chronic anxiety isn't
anxious on a first date.
That OCD isn't a tidy kitchen.
Like, they have wildly different things.
(dramatic music)
- As hot as it's been all week, really.
- It's absolutely brutal.
- Hot.
Really hot today.
(dramatic music)
- Got strength for a walk.
I was pretty roasted.
Unpacked our bags, took our shoes off
and just chilled out for about two hours.
A real lesson in historical
learning, with these events.
I would've just gone on before
and that would've been
extraordinarily dangerous.
I mean, we're well over halfway now
but, drags and drags and drags.
My mindset, with, well, you know,
with ADHD, it's not
suitable for this type of thing.
I think one of the reasons I do this,
is to try and exercise
discipline and I struggle with it.
You know, you're in your
head, you're like, stop, stop,
have a break, stop, just
gotta keep going, keep going.
Every part of me wants
to stop, when it's like that.
But I won't.
(Simon laughs)
My biggest problem
right now, is overheating.
'Cause my head starts to throb.
I mean, I can't cool down.
Good, thank you.
Okay, thank you.
- Just to get off those dunes.
- Yeah.
- Once you get off those dunes.
- Yeah.
- A bit of hard standing.
- So that means, like, hot, hot, hot.
- When you're racing in
an extreme environment,
it's not always about the
race, it's about the conditions
that you face when you're there.
Someone can be fine, to
needing medical extraction,
within the space of 20 minutes.
- It's certainly arduous.
It's so still and there's no wind.
You feel like you're baking.
You're both going through the same thing.
You're both feeling the same emotions.
And, you know, together,
you're almost, kinda, joint forces,
to combat it, as opposed to doing it alone,
which can be quite daunting and difficult,
particularly in, you know,
in an environment like this,
when there's two of you with the same goal.
Yeah, you can, kind of,
sort of, drive each other on.
He's been great.
Tell me everything, put my sun cream on
and make sure I'm drinking
and so on and so forth, so.
(gentle music)
- This is the best way
to get to know anyone.
There's nothing.
It doesn't matter who you are
or where you come from
or what your background is.
You are what you are.
That to me is probably
the most exciting thing.
(dramatic music)
- When you're halfway
through a race, like the MDS,
you almost certainly got
something happening to you
that wasn't part of the plan.
- Suffering now.
- Blisters, could be a whole load of things
but, you know, a lot of
people will be thinking,
this wasn't in my plan and start to panic.
Simon, again, is experienced.
So he's seen a lot of these things
and will probably stay relaxed.
- Very, very, very sore.
Feet are really starting to break down now.
- A lot must go into these races
to test ourselves physically and mentally.
And at some point in the race, you know,
we will be utterly broken.
- So it's been hot all day,
now the sun's going down,
one problem disappears
and another one rises.
So, literally, as soon
as the sun's gone down,
my feet have just stepped
up about five years.
When the sun goes down,
there's a different set of challenges.
The way I would like to run
it would be in the daytime.
I don't really want to run at night at all.
I've never enjoyed running at night.
- It's very easy to focus
entirely on the physical side.
But it's a mental race,
more than a physical race.
(dramatic music)
- I am so hot,
I want water.
- It's where we have still plenty of energy
to enjoy this part of the stage.
It's not entirely true of course
but we have to keep the spirit.
- I just want it done now, you know.
Starting to not think very clearly.
That's the problem when you get tired,
you just start to fucking.
Just not very organized, are you?
You know what I mean?
Start to fucking drop the ball.
The thing is, you're just getting
close to, kind of, exhaustion.
I'm feeling a little bit dehydrated,
despite constant drinking,
every five minutes.
But, we just need to get
our heads up and go on.
- My children, keep thinking about them.
These latter stages, you
know, they strip you away
of lots of things and
perhaps that's, in a sick way,
part of the attraction.
That allows me to, kind of, build up
my reserves again, in a very strange way.
It's extremely intimidating to come back
to a place like this
and revisit those things.
You know, this is a big achievement today.
Honestly, I really am broken.
I think, smiling and being
jovial, is, kind of, my way of
placating certain things,
you know, normal stuff.
ADHD at school, played
the fool, disruptive,
I guess it got me attention of some kind,
which I was attracted to.
And that's, kind of, like, stuck with me
throughout my adult life too.
I do think that's a defense mechanism.
It would be good to help
myself and people like me,
not feel like they have
to repress their emotion.
There's no judgment in running.
I love the fact that there's no judgment
on where you come from,
how much money you have,
you know, any of that shit.
It's really important.
- I think, you know, we're
very fortunate in the west,
you know, things are
getting easier by the day
and I think you need to
remember we were born in caves,
so we're quite robust bits
of pit, as I would like to say.
And I think it's good to test that.
It puts things into perspective.
I'll go away from this
better than before I started.
Both physically and mentally.
A little broken, to be fair.
Not physically.
- The thing with these races,
you've gotta decompress for a bit to
figure out what you got out of it.
At the moment I've just got pain.
And I miss my family.
Which, comes part and parcel of it.
You sign up to do this
stuff, it's gonna hurt.
(dramatic music)
- [Announcer] Simon!
- Broken.
Oh, my God.
Breathe.
Oh, my God.
(gentle music)
There's a lot of very hurt people.
(gentle music)
A little bit, you know, anxious
about going out again tomorrow.
But, just gotta eat today
and make sure to make the most of the rest
and get as much food
down as humanly possible.
(upbeat music)
- Some people come here
and they think that they are well-trained
because they did some other races
but, it's another story, you
know, to live in the desert
and to be able to do 250
kilometers, it's another story.
Here the problem is the temperature.
We have two things, is
the heat and your feet.
We are not talking about small blisters,
like with your shoes, in your city.
We are talking about
some blister, like potatoes.
That's why you have
to take care of your feet
every day, okay.
Because with the sand,
it can be a big problem.
And the heat.
(gentle music)
- I found today, that
after a long stage like that,
I've had a chance to,
kind of, daydream of it
and think about getting over halfway
and thinking about how clear it is that
most people have got something.
The one resounding
bit of drive, that's coming forward,
is to help young people who have
got something going on,
that isn't considered normal.
- Having a neurodivergent
condition, such as ADHD,
has its challenges.
Some of those challenges, in childhood
or when you're a teenager,
a young person can be really difficult
getting help with that
or getting other people
to relate to you better,
knowing better how you
tick, how you can pass exams,
talk to people, socialize, all the things
that some people take for absolute granted.
Some people with ADHD really struggle with.
There is an increased suicide rate
and that could be possibly addressed
by helping people earlier.
- All focus should be
on trying to avoid people
getting to a point where
they take their own lives
or spiral into some form
of unnecessary depression,
whether they're a male or female.
It does seem to be a common denominator,
women feel like they're
not talked about enough,
in regards to ADHD because of the way
that they seem to develop
when they're young.
It's just the void between the two genders,
I think, is just less clear
'cause boys seem so much more immature
and it just comes to the front earlier.
- We have a massive
problem in the underdiagnosis,
a full stop.
But we have a bigger
underdiagnosis problem in girls.
That stereotype, are you
a little boy running around
and are you disruptive?
Whereas, a little girl is
more likely to be disruptive,
really, to herself.
And on top of that,
a lot of the research has been male only.
And so, that understanding
of women and girls,
has not been researched
properly and needs to be.
- Basically, you should
be able to talk about
whatever you wanna talk about,
with whoever you wanna talk about it with.
(Simon laughs)
That's the bottom line.
(dramatic music)
My pack feels a lot lighter.
I think having a day's rest,
fuck, it just makes such a difference.
But, I'm not blind to the fact
this could be short-lived, so,
I'll just try and gun as much as I can,
until the sun gets hotter.
- [Runner] We're getting stronger baby.
(gentle music)
- No?
28.4 anyways now.
- Already?
- Yep.
- Great, thank you.
- You know, in this race,
you can find some very,
very different people.
That mean you have some CEO of companies
and you have some workers.
In this race, they are not
anymore CEO or workers.
They are in the same camp,
they have the same tent,
they have the same things.
- The mind that I need
to tame periodically,
feels like it's at, you know,
a relative peace, at the moment.
Kind of, found my own
ways of treating myself.
It's very severe but, you know,
I'll feel good for months, not days.
(dramatic music)
- It's almost like you
can't cool yourself down
quicker than you're heating up.
So it's just like a bit
of a chess game, really.
Keep your sodium levels right,
keep the fluids constantly going in.
- Dave, you going.
(dramatic music)
My pee is dark orange, almost blood orange.
You've got such a huge calorie deficit.
Your body's just eating itself.
- It's a machine.
It's widely regarded as
being the hardest foot race
on the planet.
Essentially, you're there
to get yourself through it.
But you are an island in the Sahara.
(dramatic music)
- Flats, runable and then
it just went into dune, sand
and hell, you know, it's just stifling.
(dramatic music)
That was very difficult.
Ah!
(dramatic music)
- Top job.
- So we're going down a route here,
where we're choosing to
talk really openly about it.
Most people don't have that
and they're just locked
off to it, you know,
to the point that it really
alienates themselves
from their own life.
I see my son, who's got
ADHD and I see myself,
as, at his age.
He can't help it, you know,
it's just electricity coming out of
his every pore, at different points
and he doesn't know what to do with that.
- We know that 76% of ADHD
can be described genetically.
We've seen that through
a whole lot of studies,
particularly twin studies.
Almost every case, if one
identical twin has ADHD,
the other has ADHD.
(dramatic music)
- Little bit of a negative mindset.
Just haven't been able
to get into a rhythm.
The desert is a beautiful, beautiful place
but it's ruthless.
Training of the mind.
Pick yourself up, go again.
Don't lose your focus and your temper.
Take things in a balanced way
and then, eventually,
you get what you want.
More dreams.
I had a horrible night's sleep.
Mentally, I'm choosing not
to be very positive right now.
But, the fact is, we've got one last push.
It's been an amazing
experience, in some respects.
It's been incredible just to talk to people
so openly about ADHD.
It feels like it's almost
a relief for people
to open up and talk about it.
And perhaps we're
assisting in creating a bridge
to allow that to happen.
- People say it changes you.
You don't believe them
but it does change us.
- I think everyone here
definitely has a story.
I was meant to do it with
my brother and he died.
And then, my mum's unwell,
so I'm doing it to raise
money for her hospital.
Unless you've got a reason,
you're not gonna finish it.
- I think, sometimes you
need to push your limits,
just to feel alive.
- I think it's just going home
and appreciate things a bit more.
Kind of puts it all in perspective.
(crowd cheers)
- There's nothing more
valuable than actual examples
of people who have got ADHD.
People just don't like talking about it,
until it impacts them or
there's a kid in their family
who's got it.
Should it be taught in
school, what these things are?
- Being more open, talking about it.
And then knowing that
having ADHD doesn't necessarily
limit you from doing something.
- It can be addressed far earlier.
And before it gets a chance
to develop into something
a bit more suspect,
it can be blocks off and rediverted.
That really is where this goes.
But that isn't a quick fix.
A lot of pain.
- This is the hardest thing I've ever done.
Hand down, hardest thing I've ever done.
- I think it's really important
to help people find a diagnosis early.
- A diagnosis turns the lights up
and suddenly you can see
your mates, you can navigate.
When we talk to people,
we know how life-changing it is for them.
- Same time.
We go ahead.
(dramatic music)
- Living with ADHD,
you've gotta make some quite big decisions.
When to push yourself and
when to be kind to yourself.
You can only really do that
if you really properly know.
If you have a formal diagnosis.
- There is a sense of, sort of,
coming home, being understood
and that's really common
when somebody has an
ADHD diagnosis, is, sort of,
coming to understand why
they are the way they are.
- It's like a light bulb
and you're so happy
because you're like, I
knew something was wrong.
That explains everything.
- I think he just was happy
to go, yes, I do have that.
- Where he comes into his own though,
it provides you with hyperfocus,
especially around things
that you're genuinely interested in.
- And so the enlightenment
of actually knowing, is life-changing.
- You've got the keys to the car.
You can seek help for that.
You can get medication for that.
You can look at support groups.
- You can start to really
play to your strengths
and manage your weaknesses
in a way you just couldn't before.
- Knowing how you tick, helps you function.
I think it could just lead to a
happier, more informed you,
which, essentially, is
what we're all aiming for.
It's a peace with ourselves.
- 2021, it's just
represented so many things.
It wasn't just about the race.
I stared into the voids that year.
This is a realization of how far I've come.
I've used something that
I've probably known I've had,
for a long time, as an
extremely positive influence on,
for many, many things.
There's absolutely no
doubt that it's meaningful
and powerful, if it could be understood.
But that's different in
every single child and adult.
And that's why it can't be, just labeled.
It has to be broader.
I see the finish line.
(crowd cheers)
(dramatic music)
(crowd cheers)
Yes, yes, yes!
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)
- The MDS is one of the most iconic
ultra races in the world.
It's the one race that a lot of
multi-day ultramarathons
base themselves on.
(typing clicks)
(dramatic music)
The margins are so small,
on whether you finish or don't.
(dramatic music)
- It's renowned as the
hardest foot race on earth.
- There is always the risk
that something could happen.
You have to make sure
everything is in place, just in case.
- Every part of me wants to stop
and I can't cool down.
- There's one goal
and it's to get from A to
B, as quickly as possible.
And ideally not die halfway through it.
(dramatic music)
- One simple mistake
here, your race is over.
- Everything's about extremities.
One of the major systems for me,
is this all or nothing approach.
Basically, the more I mess myself up,
the longer I feel better.
(laughs)
(dramatic music)
(groans)
(mixer whirrs)
- [Child] I did it!
- [Child] No you didn't.
- Arthur, you want the first one?
- [Arthur] Yeah.
- Do you like making your pancakes?
- I do, I like making pancakes.
So, I've known Simon for,
probably, nearly five years.
I found out he was into running,
probably within the first five minutes
of my interview with him.
- It was quite clear from first meeting him
that he's all or nothing.
You know, he's all in,
basically, with everything.
- After knowing Simon,
he does have those, kind of,
attributes, whereby, if he wants something,
he will go out and get it.
- So I first met Simon in
Peru, on our jungle ultra.
I think it was his first
multi-day, at the time.
So it was a big step up for him.
He started off as a client and he's become
a really good friend
of mine over the years.
- My name's Simon Blair,
I'm a business owner.
I was diagnosed with a
ADHD, middle of last year.
It's been a journey since then.
But I've got three children
and I'm an ultra runner.
- So the Marathon des
Sables is the one in the desert.
- Oh.
I don't want you to do that.
- Why don't you want me to do that?
- Because you're gonna
be gone for, like, ever.
- I'm gonna be gone forever?
- Yeah.
Taking forever.
- Actually, daddy probably
doesn't know, when he's away,
what do we do when we come home from school
and before we leave?
What do we do on the computer?
- We look where you are.
- [Faye] We track where you are.
- So you look at where
my little dot is moving.
- [Faye] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- [Faye] And panic when it hasn't moved.
- Yeah.
Or it's in the wrong place.
- I don't think he's gonna
make it to the finish line.
He can make it close.
- Why do you not think
that daddy's gonna make it?
- He didn't make the last one.
(Simon laughs)
- 'Cause you didn't make the last one.
I think what Flo is trying to say,
is, that she thinks you will make it
but if you don't, that that's okay too.
Is that right Flora?
- Yeah, definitely.
- In 2021, post-pandemic,
I went and tried to complete
the Marathon des Sables.
But I think, with some honesty,
I probably wasn't quite mentally match fit.
I think it's taken me this
long to build myself up
to a point where I feel
mentally resilient enough
to go back to the scene
of the original crime.
- There's always a danger
in terms of doing these
kind of things.
As his family's concerned,
I would've thought that Faye
is probably the one who's got
the most, sort of, issues over it.
- A big concern for me, is,
Simon being filmed while doing this.
It's like an extra pressure.
And when he starts his run,
we have no contact at all.
It is just relying on the
tracker to see where he is.
I am not settled until
he is past that finish line
and then I'm like, fine.
I worry.
The children miss him.
- I think when people think
about deserts, they think about,
you know, rolling sand
dunes and sandstorms.
Some things are far more
terrifying than sandstorms
and rolling sand dunes.
Nothingness is more scary than that.
- People with Simon's personality type,
with Simon's brain, need this.
They need this in their
life, to be able to function
and to be the best version of themselves.
To keep pushing and keep succeeding.
- About five or six years
ago, I took on therapy.
I woke up one day and
I just didn't feel great.
I, you know, had that brain fog
and that veil of, just a
shade over my normal lens,
you know, my positive lens.
And I, you know, I went and sought therapy
and some advice, straight away.
For me, it's been the best thing
that I've ever done, really, for myself.
- So Simon's diagnosis came about
because I'd been doing a
lot of mental health education
with his team.
So he'd got to know and trust me.
He recognized that he can be
quite impulsive and energetic
and that's been a real strength at work.
But at times it meant
that he was distracted
or struggled to focus or
other people would say,
you know, "You're not paying attention.
You forget details and things, you know".
It's hard sometimes to be
all over the detail of things.
- But her opening up
that discussion, for me,
led to me getting tested.
Not surprisingly, it
came back fairly clear.
- I think it was both a
shock and not a shock, really.
- I think he was relieved, actually.
I think he knew.
I think it was just having a label,
so he could say, right, now I understand.
- I think ADHD has been
a part of my character
for as long as my memories go back.
It's only just recently that I've realized
how central to my being that that is.
- Yeah, I think it made
sense of a lot of things for him.
- The results have been around
the idea of understanding.
There aren't solutions.
There's no solutions.
I think, you know, taking drugs
to try and help certain
byproducts of ADHD, is an option.
I haven't explored that.
For me, it's given me a much
greater understanding about
who I am.
It's just confirmed
something that I probably,
subconsciously already knew.
And now I'm embracing
that, as like a central principle
to what I am.
(dramatic music)
- It's interesting to
think, why would Simon,
who's really successful at work,
want to punish himself out in the desert?
But, my understanding, just as a spectator,
you know, these ultramarathons,
is, it's a real chance to,
kind of, almost take
yourself right to the edge.
To find out what you're capable of.
To really find out where,
you know, failure lies.
And that's very healthy for the ego.
It's really good for the
ego to be tested in that way.
- Search for balance is now become what
I'm aspiring to try and find and retain.
But, I can't, a lot of the time
because it's just not
natural for that to happen.
So the extremities of what
ADHD can do to you mentally,
is that it pulls you one way or the other,
just in the most fierce ways.
- He's always gonna be a driven guy
and this is just a vessel
to keep that drive going.
(gentle music)
- Part of me dreads this event.
Looking down those long straits
and visualizing the sand dunes and
just the memories of the overwhelming heat.
- He was facing, probably
one of the hottest years
that race has ever had.
It was a flip of a coin,
as to whether he was going to finish.
In any race, in extreme heat.
There's a few things that
kinda jump out straight away.
The Sahara Desert, the Namib Desert,
can often go, 45, 50 degree heat.
With that comes real risk of death
by, heat stroke, dehydration.
And it can happen extremely quickly.
- I had the unfortunate experience of
running next to this guy,
running almost parallel to him,
when he was collapsing repeatedly.
I went to help him.
There were some other
people there who were doctors.
10, 15 minutes later, I saw
a helicopter fly over my head.
There was a very solemn, somber
announcement that evening.
It was announced he'd died,
as a result of being on the course.
- I was messaging the company,
going, "Is Simon Blair okay?
I'm Simon Blair's wife".
I hadn't heard anything.
- It was playing on my mind a great deal.
'Cause I was already extremely tired
and I had nothing left to give,
without taking some serious risks.
And I decided that the best thing for me,
would be to go home.
- When he rang me and said,
"I'm not gonna carry
on", I burst into tears
'cause I knew what he
would be like if he didn't do it.
- I'd never seen him like that,
after he got back from
the MDS with that failure.
I'd never seen that Simon before.
That was unusual to witness, as a friend.
- As a family, we kept saying
how proud we were of him, regardless.
But, after the Marathon des
Sables, he was really quite low.
- Anyone with ADHD, which
I also have, will know that,
you know, that we've all
got this, kind of, fixation
on certain things and obsessions.
And, you know, running in
ultramarathon's are one of his.
And, I think, him actually pulling out,
is probably braver than continuing.
So I think, actually, full
credit to him for going,
do you know what,
this is getting dangerous,
now I'm gonna pull it.
- I suppose, I was actually
proud that he stopped.
Because, although I wanted him to continue,
I mean, that would've been
really dangerous and very stupid.
- The whole process is quite long
and, you know, all the measuring out of
various powders and potions.
And then you see it in this form
and you're, kind of, like, yeah, okay.
We're kind of, one step
closer to being ready to go
with day one.
- A lot of sweets.
- Lots of sweets, yes, day
one, day two, day three,
day four, day five and day six.
And a little medical stuff.
- Just in case you get hurt.
- Just in case you get hurt, yes.
- The first bit really
is the, it's the logistics.
You hear stories and jokes about people
cutting their toothbrush in half.
But people do.
Because it saves you a few grams.
It's a huge commitment.
- Oh, yes, that's perfect.
- There's a lot of planning
that goes into the successful
completion of a race.
People with ADHD are
often great in a crisis
but not so good in something
that needs a lot of preparation.
- I've got a lost box.
Memory.
You know, memory and retention,
forgetting where I put things.
I often forget my children's birthdays.
I just don't remember.
- The memory issues around ADHD are brutal.
A surprising number of
people find themselves getting
an ADHD diagnosis.
They've actually gone to the GP saying,
I think I might have dementia.
Yeah, memory issues are really common.
- I think, also, he's got so
much going on in his head.
He goes from one thing to another.
So trying to, kind of, keep up with him
and keep him focused on what he's doing,
at one thing at a time,
well, it's quite hard.
- The biggest problem he'll have,
is that he's turning his world upside down
to get this done.
- [Faye] He's extremely messy.
(Faye laughs)
- Being CEO of a company
and you're running an ultramarathon,
they are not two things,
they easily combine.
A lot of people with ADHD,
they've put in, sometimes, knowingly,
sometimes, unknowingly,
scaffolding and strategies
that have them doing well.
- He has got very good at writing, like,
a spreadsheet, that he follows.
So he will send me that spreadsheet
and we just have to tick it off.
- If you don't put it in place,
with real knowledge of self,
it's too finely balanced, not to fail.
- To get ready for any of
these things, sacrifices a lot.
And the support network around Simon
is also gonna feel it.
His work colleagues, his
family, it's all encompassing
and, kind of, just consumes your life.
- In the run up to these events, you know,
I'm running and focusing on other things
and my emotional and physical
time just isn't as present.
One of the downsides of
ADHD is that it can make you
so intent on getting to your objective,
that actually, it can be
difficult for people around that.
When you're fully hyper-focused.
(gentle music)
- There's a lot of problems
that Simon will face, with ADHD.
But actually, when preparing
for these sorts of events,
there are a lot of things
that could fall in his favor.
The focus and the obsession with something,
is definitely gonna help him.
It's definitely helped him in the past.
- When you have three
children and then, holidays,
when they're not at
school, it's quite hard.
So, I think, actually, to
start with, I was a bit like,
well, it's a bit of a desperate measure
to take a break from your family.
(Faye laughs)
- I'm not sure that I would
be able to do these events
on a number of different levels,
if I wasn't supported in
the way that I am at home.
You know, I'm very fortunate in that way.
And my children, you know,
have learned from Faye.
I think Faye acknowledges
that I'm a better person.
I'm not made to feel
guilty for needing to do this.
I think back to my 20s and I
wonder how the fucking hell
I held any relationship
down, to be honest, you know
'cause you're just like,
it's so disruptive.
(gentle music)
- Now he's done a number of them,
it's a bit medicinal, really, I think.
(gentle music)
- I'm gonna have to dig deep, you know,
I'm aware of that, you know.
- I think, running, in its
nature, is quite simplistic.
In Simon's case,
I think it definitely
brings order to the chaos.
He's got quite a lotta chaos
in his world, in his mind.
Even narrowing down
the task list for the day,
get from point A to B,
can definitely just calm
the noise a little bit.
(gentle music)
- Thank you very much.
- All you've got to do, for seven days,
eat, sleep and run.
What an existence.
(gentle music)
- One, two.
- I mean, for me it just sounds
treacherous, to be honest.
So, I can't imagine why he
wants to go out and do this.
People fall very ill and
sometimes die on these things.
(gentle music)
- My brain was bouncing
around a bit last night.
I think I'll feel some sense of anxiety,
probably, when I see a sand dune,
even if it's two meters high,
it'll probably make me feel a bit peculiar.
Probably not how I felt at
the beginning of the last one.
(gentle music)
It was good.
- He won't think this now
but if he doesn't finish,
he'll also be okay with it.
I think he's actually at a
point in his journey with this,
where, the result is one thing
but he's realized the journey is important
or he will, quite quickly after.
- I think he's putting a
lotta pressure on himself.
Unnecessary pressure.
I think sometimes the bravest
thing, is to know your limits.
And I just hope that
he does know his limits,
this time around.
- He's physically stronger
but mentally stronger too.
I think he will be good.
He'll do well.
He better do it, gosh.
(dramatic music)
(crowd cheers)
(dramatic music)
- So that gives me anxiety.
That thing.
(dramatic music)
It is a sand dune but, it's not a mountain.
Thing is, it's probably
what I thought about a lot.
It's a strange feeling
'cause it's almost dreamlike.
- Everybody has a different,
sort of, mindset to things.
Some people allow adversity,
previously in their lives,
to affect the decisions that
you make going forward.
And some people use that as a position,
in order to turn that into a positive.
(gentle music)
- I have my own objectives
because I'm looking to discover myself.
I wanna understand me
and what makes me tick
and how I operate.
But actually, it's becoming
far more than that.
I want to help people open up a dialogue.
ADHD should be looked at as something
that can enable people to
provide positivity to the world.
Not blocking them off
and not listening to them
because they don't hit a certain criteria
that we've become used to.
You know, that results in the worst things.
(gentle music)
It's getting gradually hotter.
So I'm trying to be
really sensible, not gun it,
probably get halfway through tomorrow
and then start thinking
about taking some paresis,
while we're trying to be
careful with it, with water.
(crowd cheers)
(gentle music)
- I've been in this game
now for two decades.
I've either been running, coaching
or designing these races.
So I've got to see a lot of
people take these journeys on.
Simon is definitely one of those people
that enjoys the highs and the lows.
He wants to be rock bottom.
He wants to be in that
pain cave, that misery,
that thing that's gonna ultimately push him
to the absolute limit.
Because he knows and he's
experienced it in the past,
that with this low,
will become a real high.
The bigger the low, the higher the high.
And it impacts him in a way
that has been ultimately
life-changing for him.
- I think there needs to
be a lot more information
about ADHD and what
it is and what it isn't.
I think some people have a
very stereotypical view
of somebody with ADHD.
And they think they might
be that loud person at school
or that person that
sits and fidgets all day.
But there are different
versions of it for different people
and people will adapt differently.
- Predominantly hyperactive is only 15%
of people with ADHD.
It's a significant proportion
of women and girls.
And so the idea that it's just a boy
running around, is just wrong.
- People often ask me what ADHD is.
And it's one of the ways in which people
can be neurodivergent.
So, neurodiversity means,
basically, brain-based difference.
And it means that you experience the world
in a different way.
How you feel about the world,
how you think about the world.
So it's really common.
And ADHD's about one in 20 adults.
- I have done the Marathon
des Sables in 2019 and 2022.
I have ADHD.
I tried to explain it to people by saying,
it's like when you have your laptop open,
for most, you know,
kind of, typical thinkers,
if they have too many windows
open, it drives them crazy.
I always have that many windows open.
You can get very
charged up or very drained,
I think, just a bit
more easier than others.
And it's difficult to
prioritize, sometimes.
- I think it's really
important, as society,
to understand that
there isn't one-size-fits-all,
with any condition.
There are general symptoms,
some may be positive, some may be negative.
But how a person generally
handles it, is up to them.
- We're all unique individuals, plus ADHD.
- The event is so vast
and so big, it's a bit crazy.
So, I'm on a journey to
try and control the chaos
and stop the noise in my brain.
And, it's not quite like that here.
Whatever that means.
(dramatic music)
(crowd chants)
(dramatic music)
This isn't just a holiday to
me, this is a necessary part
of my own life journey.
If I don't do these things,
I will not perform at the highest level.
I'm always aspiring to try
and be as good as I can be.
I mean, if I start with
the guys in my tent,
I might stick with
them or track them a bit.
But I'm gonna run, kinda,
just getting through it,
I quite like my own time.
- I think he would hold his
hands up and say that he
struggles with his mental health
and actually, running, is
one of the things that helps.
- Feel pretty positive.
Just gotta tick through the miles.
(dramatic music)
In the case of ultra running,
the running itself is the therapy.
Such an odd thing to
try and explain to people,
that actually, when you talk
about running ultramarathons,
especially multi-stage
ultramarathons, people are,
kind of, intimidated by the scale of them.
But, perhaps they're
looking at it in the wrong way
or not looking at it through my eyes.
- Coming here, it's like a complete swap
of mental capabilities
and responsibilities.
People that hear that
I've done this race say,
"Oh, wow, you really like to
punish yourself, don't you?"
And it's a form of judgment, where,
I certainly don't view it as punishment,
I view it as push, especially
when you have ADHD.
If you push yourself to extreme limits,
it is actually recharging the batteries
and you go back, saying, there
was an enormous challenge
and I did that, I am capable.
I think people with ADHD
really feel that even more
than a typical thinker.
(dramatic music)
- So slow going.
Kind of just concentrating on
getting in other people's steps.
Wow, that's cool.
Shit.
Yeah, pretty cool.
(dramatic music)
All right, enough of that.
This will be here in a million years,
so I can come back.
(dramatic music)
I think the uphills broke
my legs in, actually.
I didn't really enjoy that
bit but, then suddenly,
running on sand felt a lot easier.
- He potentially uses ultramarathons
as a way to keep him in training.
You know, training and
getting out and exercising,
is basically medicine.
And it is what keeps you, kind of, focused,
your endorphins above,
you know, ultimately,
it's a dopamine deficiency problem, right.
And exercise raises that dopamine level.
I think it's almost a bit
of an addiction, probably,
on his part, in terms of the
fact that he needs to do it.
And, it's to say, I've got this
ultramarathon in the diary
and kinda use it as a bit of a way to
manage his day-to-day life, really.
- Last 15K's been hard.
It's all right, my feet
need a little bit of attention
but I really am okay.
(gentle music)
I will put 150% and more,
leave nothing on the table, whatsoever.
I don't think that's always healthy.
When it's over, this
brain fog, kind of, ensues.
At the time that you're going through these
periods of brain fog, it seems to be
after periods of extreme hyperfocus.
You just run out of energy.
It's almost like your mind
is trying to get some rest.
It's extremely frustrating.
And it's like a form of
depression, probably.
But without it taking you down those roads.
One of the reasons I love ultra running,
is it gives me a chance to go away
and turn off from all these things.
And when I come back,
the brain fog has lifted
and actually, I have then
complete clarity of thinking
and it's just complete peace
and straight line decision-making.
It all makes sense.
- Exercise is often talked
about as a treatment for ADHD
and there's a really
good evidence base for it.
It's also used as a treatment
for other things, like, depression.
And the reason it's good for the brain,
the reason, particularly with ADHD,
exercise is good for the brain,
is that it increases
noradrenaline and dopamine.
And those are low.
There are low levels of those
in people's brains, with ADHD.
It increases levels of those chemicals
in about five minutes,
which is quicker than
any medicine can work.
So it's something a lot of
people use, to help focus.
(gentle music)
- Yeah, it was all right.
I'm glad it's over.
Those second days are awful.
I think from the last
experience that I had with MDS,
I've learned how to treat myself.
So, like, if I feel tired,
I'm happy to go and
have a rest for five minutes.
Previously, I'd just run through exhaustion
and then I would've collapsed,
I mean, I'd be in a heap
but I'm in a controlled heap.
I'm just tired and resting.
Whereas, I'm not delirious today.
(Simon laughs)
Of course, I want the challenge.
But actually, there's a
big part of my mindset
that's looking forward to giving my brain
a bit of a holiday.
And I can just relax on the
most basic of things, you know,
by getting to a tree or getting to a corner
or, you know, just
getting to the end of a day.
It puts everything into context.
Seeing a desert and, you know, just things
in a complete natural space,
without any interferences
from us, whatsoever.
That to me, is peaceful.
That brings peace to the noise
that sometimes comes
into my brain, I think.
(dramatic music)
- There is an additional
challenge with his ADHD.
Where he's gonna have to
really focus on some certain areas
to be successful.
He's gonna have to quieten
that noise, quite a lot.
- Today is a long stage.
We're starting at six,
run for about three
quarters an hour, in the dark.
But it's quite a slog, to do 85 kilometers.
Just so much depends on how tough the first
three or four hours are.
Yeah, I'm just not sure
what we're gonna do yet.
(gentle music)
The long stage is a pretty huge moment.
Once you've cracked it, you know,
you've done something,
you're well over halfway.
So I'm just gonna take
today really slow and steady,
just tick off the kilometers
and the checkpoints
and see how I sit by two o'clock,
then make a decision
about whether I'm gonna stay
at a checkpoint for three
hours while the sun settles down
and then go again.
Or if I feel good, I'll go.
Yeah, last time I didn't do the long stage
'cause the long stage
was on the fourth day.
- [Runner] Simon.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
(Simon laughs)
Oh he's the joker.
You're a joker.
I didn't get to do the long stage
'cause I pulled out on
the morning of day four.
And I feel intimidated by it
but, I'm just gonna clock it off, you know,
checkpoint by checkpoint.
And have a good look at two
o'clock and see how I stand.
- [Announcer] Oh, the distance
today is, 85.3 kilometers.
(gentle music)
- The long stage is gonna be hard for them
to tap into flow states.
All of the other runners around them,
intense hunger, intense
thirst, which only grows.
It will be so hard to get
into the zone and stay in it
and not be distracted by your sore feet.
Your 15 blisters, the hot desert sun.
- There's some parts of
this where Simon's brain
will consume knowledge at a
rate, faster than anyone else.
But at the same time,
when it comes to the race
and it comes to the time
where it gets difficult,
one simple mistake here, your race is over.
Not drinking water on time,
not look after a small
blister, your race can be done.
(dramatic music)
- Woo, that was amazing, going down
That hill was weirdly, quite enjoyable.
But I'm just gonna really
try and stay within myself.
Don't overdo it.
It's dangerous to go too quick.
(dramatic music)
Yeah, it's getting hot now.
(dramatic music)
Hard work, getting over the brinks.
(dramatic music)
- It's just amazing.
As tiny as it is, you kinda, almost, like,
compartmentalize it
'cause it's just so beautiful.
(dramatic music)
- It's getting warmer, it
feels hotter than yesterday.
Those long straights are gonna be the issue
because I imagine there's
gonna be quite a lot of those.
The actual gains from running in the heat,
the peak of the day, on a
day like today, are just zero.
I just don't see any benefit.
I've felt, in reasonable
spirits up until now.
These flats, like the
one we're about to do,
the ones that cause me damage.
So, the next two stages
will be quite big for me.
I'm sure I'll revisit some old demons.
- A lot of the focus is on
the extreme temperatures,
with these things.
But people forget that
they're still running 150 miles
over five days.
Even in temperate
conditions, you'll still get
repetitive strain injuries,
hips, knees, ankles.
And you have to pay
attention to that, as well.
- Every day you're basically
doing a different ultra,
across some of the most
extreme conditions in the world.
All the time you're getting
stimulated by your environment,
by the other runners around you
but you've got this goal in the background.
So for some people who are neurodivergent
and have ADHD, that might
be the perfect sport for them.
- I'm a volunteer here at MDS.
I was a late diagnosed ADHDer.
I always think things end
up into buzzwords, you know
and ADHD is a superpower,
well, do you know what,
I suppose it's advantageous sometimes
but it's also a hindrance
because it's very nerve-racking sometimes,
when you just wanna be organized
and you wanna stop fighting with yourself.
- Grabbing hold of
hyperfocus is a wonderful thing.
And it's wonderful if
it fits the right thing
and it's terrible if it's the wrong thing.
- You can't always just hyperfocus
on what you wanna hyperfocus on.
(Rochelle laughs)
Like, something happens
and you have to do this,
this, this, this and screw everything else
that you were supposed to do
'cause you're hyperfocused on this.
- We have a huge problem,
that it's part of human experience
to have a problem with focus, right.
To procrastinate before something,
potentially to struggle to
focus every now and again.
That is not the ADHD experience.
The ADHD experience
is having a debilitating
impact on your life.
It's exactly the same way
that depression isn't sadness.
That chronic anxiety isn't
anxious on a first date.
That OCD isn't a tidy kitchen.
Like, they have wildly different things.
(dramatic music)
- As hot as it's been all week, really.
- It's absolutely brutal.
- Hot.
Really hot today.
(dramatic music)
- Got strength for a walk.
I was pretty roasted.
Unpacked our bags, took our shoes off
and just chilled out for about two hours.
A real lesson in historical
learning, with these events.
I would've just gone on before
and that would've been
extraordinarily dangerous.
I mean, we're well over halfway now
but, drags and drags and drags.
My mindset, with, well, you know,
with ADHD, it's not
suitable for this type of thing.
I think one of the reasons I do this,
is to try and exercise
discipline and I struggle with it.
You know, you're in your
head, you're like, stop, stop,
have a break, stop, just
gotta keep going, keep going.
Every part of me wants
to stop, when it's like that.
But I won't.
(Simon laughs)
My biggest problem
right now, is overheating.
'Cause my head starts to throb.
I mean, I can't cool down.
Good, thank you.
Okay, thank you.
- Just to get off those dunes.
- Yeah.
- Once you get off those dunes.
- Yeah.
- A bit of hard standing.
- So that means, like, hot, hot, hot.
- When you're racing in
an extreme environment,
it's not always about the
race, it's about the conditions
that you face when you're there.
Someone can be fine, to
needing medical extraction,
within the space of 20 minutes.
- It's certainly arduous.
It's so still and there's no wind.
You feel like you're baking.
You're both going through the same thing.
You're both feeling the same emotions.
And, you know, together,
you're almost, kinda, joint forces,
to combat it, as opposed to doing it alone,
which can be quite daunting and difficult,
particularly in, you know,
in an environment like this,
when there's two of you with the same goal.
Yeah, you can, kind of,
sort of, drive each other on.
He's been great.
Tell me everything, put my sun cream on
and make sure I'm drinking
and so on and so forth, so.
(gentle music)
- This is the best way
to get to know anyone.
There's nothing.
It doesn't matter who you are
or where you come from
or what your background is.
You are what you are.
That to me is probably
the most exciting thing.
(dramatic music)
- When you're halfway
through a race, like the MDS,
you almost certainly got
something happening to you
that wasn't part of the plan.
- Suffering now.
- Blisters, could be a whole load of things
but, you know, a lot of
people will be thinking,
this wasn't in my plan and start to panic.
Simon, again, is experienced.
So he's seen a lot of these things
and will probably stay relaxed.
- Very, very, very sore.
Feet are really starting to break down now.
- A lot must go into these races
to test ourselves physically and mentally.
And at some point in the race, you know,
we will be utterly broken.
- So it's been hot all day,
now the sun's going down,
one problem disappears
and another one rises.
So, literally, as soon
as the sun's gone down,
my feet have just stepped
up about five years.
When the sun goes down,
there's a different set of challenges.
The way I would like to run
it would be in the daytime.
I don't really want to run at night at all.
I've never enjoyed running at night.
- It's very easy to focus
entirely on the physical side.
But it's a mental race,
more than a physical race.
(dramatic music)
- I am so hot,
I want water.
- It's where we have still plenty of energy
to enjoy this part of the stage.
It's not entirely true of course
but we have to keep the spirit.
- I just want it done now, you know.
Starting to not think very clearly.
That's the problem when you get tired,
you just start to fucking.
Just not very organized, are you?
You know what I mean?
Start to fucking drop the ball.
The thing is, you're just getting
close to, kind of, exhaustion.
I'm feeling a little bit dehydrated,
despite constant drinking,
every five minutes.
But, we just need to get
our heads up and go on.
- My children, keep thinking about them.
These latter stages, you
know, they strip you away
of lots of things and
perhaps that's, in a sick way,
part of the attraction.
That allows me to, kind of, build up
my reserves again, in a very strange way.
It's extremely intimidating to come back
to a place like this
and revisit those things.
You know, this is a big achievement today.
Honestly, I really am broken.
I think, smiling and being
jovial, is, kind of, my way of
placating certain things,
you know, normal stuff.
ADHD at school, played
the fool, disruptive,
I guess it got me attention of some kind,
which I was attracted to.
And that's, kind of, like, stuck with me
throughout my adult life too.
I do think that's a defense mechanism.
It would be good to help
myself and people like me,
not feel like they have
to repress their emotion.
There's no judgment in running.
I love the fact that there's no judgment
on where you come from,
how much money you have,
you know, any of that shit.
It's really important.
- I think, you know, we're
very fortunate in the west,
you know, things are
getting easier by the day
and I think you need to
remember we were born in caves,
so we're quite robust bits
of pit, as I would like to say.
And I think it's good to test that.
It puts things into perspective.
I'll go away from this
better than before I started.
Both physically and mentally.
A little broken, to be fair.
Not physically.
- The thing with these races,
you've gotta decompress for a bit to
figure out what you got out of it.
At the moment I've just got pain.
And I miss my family.
Which, comes part and parcel of it.
You sign up to do this
stuff, it's gonna hurt.
(dramatic music)
- [Announcer] Simon!
- Broken.
Oh, my God.
Breathe.
Oh, my God.
(gentle music)
There's a lot of very hurt people.
(gentle music)
A little bit, you know, anxious
about going out again tomorrow.
But, just gotta eat today
and make sure to make the most of the rest
and get as much food
down as humanly possible.
(upbeat music)
- Some people come here
and they think that they are well-trained
because they did some other races
but, it's another story, you
know, to live in the desert
and to be able to do 250
kilometers, it's another story.
Here the problem is the temperature.
We have two things, is
the heat and your feet.
We are not talking about small blisters,
like with your shoes, in your city.
We are talking about
some blister, like potatoes.
That's why you have
to take care of your feet
every day, okay.
Because with the sand,
it can be a big problem.
And the heat.
(gentle music)
- I found today, that
after a long stage like that,
I've had a chance to,
kind of, daydream of it
and think about getting over halfway
and thinking about how clear it is that
most people have got something.
The one resounding
bit of drive, that's coming forward,
is to help young people who have
got something going on,
that isn't considered normal.
- Having a neurodivergent
condition, such as ADHD,
has its challenges.
Some of those challenges, in childhood
or when you're a teenager,
a young person can be really difficult
getting help with that
or getting other people
to relate to you better,
knowing better how you
tick, how you can pass exams,
talk to people, socialize, all the things
that some people take for absolute granted.
Some people with ADHD really struggle with.
There is an increased suicide rate
and that could be possibly addressed
by helping people earlier.
- All focus should be
on trying to avoid people
getting to a point where
they take their own lives
or spiral into some form
of unnecessary depression,
whether they're a male or female.
It does seem to be a common denominator,
women feel like they're
not talked about enough,
in regards to ADHD because of the way
that they seem to develop
when they're young.
It's just the void between the two genders,
I think, is just less clear
'cause boys seem so much more immature
and it just comes to the front earlier.
- We have a massive
problem in the underdiagnosis,
a full stop.
But we have a bigger
underdiagnosis problem in girls.
That stereotype, are you
a little boy running around
and are you disruptive?
Whereas, a little girl is
more likely to be disruptive,
really, to herself.
And on top of that,
a lot of the research has been male only.
And so, that understanding
of women and girls,
has not been researched
properly and needs to be.
- Basically, you should
be able to talk about
whatever you wanna talk about,
with whoever you wanna talk about it with.
(Simon laughs)
That's the bottom line.
(dramatic music)
My pack feels a lot lighter.
I think having a day's rest,
fuck, it just makes such a difference.
But, I'm not blind to the fact
this could be short-lived, so,
I'll just try and gun as much as I can,
until the sun gets hotter.
- [Runner] We're getting stronger baby.
(gentle music)
- No?
28.4 anyways now.
- Already?
- Yep.
- Great, thank you.
- You know, in this race,
you can find some very,
very different people.
That mean you have some CEO of companies
and you have some workers.
In this race, they are not
anymore CEO or workers.
They are in the same camp,
they have the same tent,
they have the same things.
- The mind that I need
to tame periodically,
feels like it's at, you know,
a relative peace, at the moment.
Kind of, found my own
ways of treating myself.
It's very severe but, you know,
I'll feel good for months, not days.
(dramatic music)
- It's almost like you
can't cool yourself down
quicker than you're heating up.
So it's just like a bit
of a chess game, really.
Keep your sodium levels right,
keep the fluids constantly going in.
- Dave, you going.
(dramatic music)
My pee is dark orange, almost blood orange.
You've got such a huge calorie deficit.
Your body's just eating itself.
- It's a machine.
It's widely regarded as
being the hardest foot race
on the planet.
Essentially, you're there
to get yourself through it.
But you are an island in the Sahara.
(dramatic music)
- Flats, runable and then
it just went into dune, sand
and hell, you know, it's just stifling.
(dramatic music)
That was very difficult.
Ah!
(dramatic music)
- Top job.
- So we're going down a route here,
where we're choosing to
talk really openly about it.
Most people don't have that
and they're just locked
off to it, you know,
to the point that it really
alienates themselves
from their own life.
I see my son, who's got
ADHD and I see myself,
as, at his age.
He can't help it, you know,
it's just electricity coming out of
his every pore, at different points
and he doesn't know what to do with that.
- We know that 76% of ADHD
can be described genetically.
We've seen that through
a whole lot of studies,
particularly twin studies.
Almost every case, if one
identical twin has ADHD,
the other has ADHD.
(dramatic music)
- Little bit of a negative mindset.
Just haven't been able
to get into a rhythm.
The desert is a beautiful, beautiful place
but it's ruthless.
Training of the mind.
Pick yourself up, go again.
Don't lose your focus and your temper.
Take things in a balanced way
and then, eventually,
you get what you want.
More dreams.
I had a horrible night's sleep.
Mentally, I'm choosing not
to be very positive right now.
But, the fact is, we've got one last push.
It's been an amazing
experience, in some respects.
It's been incredible just to talk to people
so openly about ADHD.
It feels like it's almost
a relief for people
to open up and talk about it.
And perhaps we're
assisting in creating a bridge
to allow that to happen.
- People say it changes you.
You don't believe them
but it does change us.
- I think everyone here
definitely has a story.
I was meant to do it with
my brother and he died.
And then, my mum's unwell,
so I'm doing it to raise
money for her hospital.
Unless you've got a reason,
you're not gonna finish it.
- I think, sometimes you
need to push your limits,
just to feel alive.
- I think it's just going home
and appreciate things a bit more.
Kind of puts it all in perspective.
(crowd cheers)
- There's nothing more
valuable than actual examples
of people who have got ADHD.
People just don't like talking about it,
until it impacts them or
there's a kid in their family
who's got it.
Should it be taught in
school, what these things are?
- Being more open, talking about it.
And then knowing that
having ADHD doesn't necessarily
limit you from doing something.
- It can be addressed far earlier.
And before it gets a chance
to develop into something
a bit more suspect,
it can be blocks off and rediverted.
That really is where this goes.
But that isn't a quick fix.
A lot of pain.
- This is the hardest thing I've ever done.
Hand down, hardest thing I've ever done.
- I think it's really important
to help people find a diagnosis early.
- A diagnosis turns the lights up
and suddenly you can see
your mates, you can navigate.
When we talk to people,
we know how life-changing it is for them.
- Same time.
We go ahead.
(dramatic music)
- Living with ADHD,
you've gotta make some quite big decisions.
When to push yourself and
when to be kind to yourself.
You can only really do that
if you really properly know.
If you have a formal diagnosis.
- There is a sense of, sort of,
coming home, being understood
and that's really common
when somebody has an
ADHD diagnosis, is, sort of,
coming to understand why
they are the way they are.
- It's like a light bulb
and you're so happy
because you're like, I
knew something was wrong.
That explains everything.
- I think he just was happy
to go, yes, I do have that.
- Where he comes into his own though,
it provides you with hyperfocus,
especially around things
that you're genuinely interested in.
- And so the enlightenment
of actually knowing, is life-changing.
- You've got the keys to the car.
You can seek help for that.
You can get medication for that.
You can look at support groups.
- You can start to really
play to your strengths
and manage your weaknesses
in a way you just couldn't before.
- Knowing how you tick, helps you function.
I think it could just lead to a
happier, more informed you,
which, essentially, is
what we're all aiming for.
It's a peace with ourselves.
- 2021, it's just
represented so many things.
It wasn't just about the race.
I stared into the voids that year.
This is a realization of how far I've come.
I've used something that
I've probably known I've had,
for a long time, as an
extremely positive influence on,
for many, many things.
There's absolutely no
doubt that it's meaningful
and powerful, if it could be understood.
But that's different in
every single child and adult.
And that's why it can't be, just labeled.
It has to be broader.
I see the finish line.
(crowd cheers)
(dramatic music)
(crowd cheers)
Yes, yes, yes!
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)