Big in Japan (2014) Movie Script
1
[ Pencil Scratching ]
[ Scraping Sound ]
[ Papers Rustling ]
[ Paper Crinkling ]
[ Page Turns ]
Boom-ba-doom, ba-bum-ba-bum
Ah.
Yeah, I bet you do
Bam-ba-dum, ba-bum-bum
Next to you
[ Pencil Tapping ]
Something right here
Uh!
[ Knocking ]
[ Pencil Tapping ]
[ Knocking Continues ]
- What?
- I gotta pee!
Have you done
your scales yet?
Yes!
Can you do 'em
one more time, please?
Fine!
[ Scales ]
[ Boy ] Aaah, aaah!
[ Grunts ]
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Do that again with the moaning thing.
[ Sighs ]
[ Scales ] Aaah, aaah!
[ Grunts ]
Ah, ah-ah-ah
Yeah!
Robin,
our son's a genius!
Ah, ah-ah-ah
Yeah!
I said-- Ah, ah-ah-ah Yeah!
Hot, right?
Rob-- Right?
Robin?
Oh.
Chet?
What?
Forgot to wipe.
[ Phone Rings ]
[ Man On Phone ]
Yeah?
I lost a bunch.
How much?
[ Sighs ]
Let me check.
I've got 10.
What happened?
I don't know. I was up 20,
and then the dealer got superhot.
They know I'm counting.
Look, the investors know the risks.
It always bounces back.
You know that.
Look, you're in that band, right?
Right. Have you ever played
to an audience that hates you?
Yeah.
How often?
All the time.
When you're done playing,
do they ever just love you afterwards?
Not really.
Okay, well, these guys are
gonna hate you when you're done,
after you go in there and win all
our money back plus some, okay?
You got an image
of that?
No, I--
I like the image.
You good?
I'm good.
[ Male Vocalists ]
Hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
[ Man Screams ]
[ Man ] If you're
gonna take his car
The tank won't
get you very far
So head on down
to the 7-Eleven
Today was crazy.
My boss calls me into his
office and tells me...
they're thinking that they
want me to move south now,
and I just put that offer in on
that incredibly beautiful condo,
and I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
I am not moving to Tacoma.
I mean, that's practically a demotion.
What's the point?
It's nice for you here...
because you just come in and you cut
people's hair, not to take away from it.
I mean, I know that you really put
a lot into what you do and-- Hmm.
Do you think--
Do you think it looks...
a little shorter on this side
than on this side?
Just like half an inch?
Yeah, you know what?
Um, why don't you just give me a minute?
Okay.
Definitely shorter.
[ Man Singing, Faint ]
[ Woman ]
Oh, okay, I'll call you.
Oh, I know.
[ Laughing ]
Hello?
Hey, you can't just leave!
[ Drumsticks Tapping ]
[ Rock ]
[ Man ]
We have priorities.
I send a sweet hello
To all the girls in Tokyo
I raise a glass
and make a plea
I'm sweet on you,
so could you be sweet on me?
Here I come, Japan,
record in my hand
Looking for
my future crazed fans
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
It's true,
on my way up the charts
I broke a few
American hearts
But still I think
it's safe to say
Can you be my rock and
roll princess tonight?
Here I come, Japan,
record in my hand
Looking for
my future crazed fans
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
Ro-oll
Ro-oll
Ro-oll
Put my poster
on your bedroom wall
Buy my handsome
action figure doll
Baby, cry my name
to sleep at night
Who's this band?
I don't know. I don't care.
Write my name inside a heart
with lipstick on your locker door
"Tennis Pro."
I can be your rock and
roll savior tonight
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
Hey, how much
are your T-shirts?
- They're 25.
- Ooh.
Fifteen. Ten. Five.
[ Door Closes ]
You guys ever been
to Japan?
No.
Who's the most popular American
rock band ever in Japan?
Uh, Nirvana.
Fuck you!
It's The Ventures!
Surf rock from
Tacoma, Washington!
Come on, "Pipeline," "Walk
Don't Run," "Wipeout!"
Come on, man! They've outsold
the Beatles 2-to-1 in Japan.
2-to-1!
So, that was awesome.
[ Laughing ]
But Japan?
Well, it's
an interesting idea.
You guys,
it's a great idea to go to Japan.
I'm just saying
two things--
A: Is that guy
even who he says he is?
Good question. And B: Did he
even seem right to you guys?
I mean-- What rock and
roller seems right?
I mean, I think that he's
got almost more credibility.
I'm sorry
that I said "fuck you."
But I just can't stand hearing
the word "Nirvana." All right?
Look, I was in
a fuckin' rock band, man.
Green River.
This was fucking before there
was Mudhoney and Pearl Jam, okay?
When my band broke up,
I moved to Japan.
I was in bands.
I lived the music scene.
I'm going back
in about a week,
and I think you guys
should go with me.
I can get you some shows.
I can show you around.
And I know that they'll
understand your brand of rock.
And besides, the only way that
you are gonna make it here...
is if you make it
somewhere else first.
Just think about it.
Yeah, listen, I would love to go.
I'm all for it.
I'm just saying, I don't know if I want
to go with that guy 'cause he's a nut.
I mean, frankly, I'm shocked that he
didn't show up at the club in his bathrobe.
[ Laughs ]
Pretty intense, dude.
Pretty intense.
[ Sean ] Yeah.
Hey, guys,
check this out.
"Green River
is widely regarded...
as being one of the
originators of the genre...
later known as grunge.
Following the demise
of Green River,
Gossard, Ament and Fairweather formed the
band Mother Love Bone and later Pearl Jam.
Vincent,
Green River's drummer,
moved to Japan
after the breakup...
and did not return to the
United States for many years."
So, how much band money
do we have?
Including last night?
Well, like, $12,
minus gas money.
Look, here's the thing.
That guy is psychotic,
but what he said does make a
certain amount of sense to me.
I mean, quite frankly, Seattle doesn't
get us, and they've never gotten us.
We've been together
seven years, and nothing.
I think Tokyo is our shot,
you guys.
- Agreed.
- We've got a week to raise the money.
Well, I just got fired.
I have a little bit
of severance,
and maybe I can pawn off some
of their bastard equipment.
For my part of things,
I can do a shit-ton of haircuts in a week.
I can put some more
blackjack trips on the books.
Casinos have been
sweating me lately,
but if I work at it,
I probably can get some more hours in.
I don't think I have anything
that I could sell.
What about that money?
- What money?
- Dude, Drury, that is a lot of money, man.
This is the team's money.
It doesn't belong to me.
Would they break your
kneecaps if you took it?
Well, it's not like--
it's not like that.
You could just say that
you lost it on a bad hand.
That happens all the time.
Well, yeah.
I mean,
we don't need all of it.
Just most of it.
Well, are you planning
on coming back?
I'll be back in two weeks.
- Who's going with you?
- Just the guys.
Hmm. No girls?
No.
- Are you sure?
- I'm sure.
Well, if you cheat on me,
I'll cut your balls off.
Babe, I'm not
gonna cheat on you.
Hmm.
Well, if you cheat on me,
I'll cut their balls off.
All right.
Honey?
I know you're stressed out with
exams, and I lost my job,
and we've got the back taxes, and the
kids' orthodontist bills are astronomical,
and we've got the oil tank
that's empty,
and the mortgage,
and the plumbing is leaking
and backing up simultaneously,
and the dishwasher's
on the fritz,
so I understand.
- But me and the guys have been talking--
- Mm-mmm.
Well,
do you wanna hear what I-- No.
If it involves the guys,
no.
No. You have so much
to do around here.
Not the guys.
You've done enough
with those guys.
Okay, I hear you.
I-I really do.
I understand,
and I agree with you.
You're right.
But, honey, I know
that Japan is gonna--
Japan?
love what we have to offer.
Are you serious?
Why?
I know it's crazy, but those are the
people that are gonna like our music,
and I just know that they're
gonna connect with us...
in a way that Seattle
hasn't connected.
Japan. Japan.
That's-- That's gonna do it for you.
I wanna know that we've
done everything we can...
to achieve
some kind of success.
Well, you could
just move on.
It's been, what, five years since
you guys have finished a new song?
Is it just writer's block,
or are you finished?
I think if you just let me go
to Japan and do this thing,
if we don't come back
with an audience,
then we'll be done.
- No more band.
- No more band.
So, uh, who's gonna
pay for this?
Well, that's a good question.
Look, Drury, you don't wanna do
it, you don't have to.
Yeah, I just don't want you
to feel pressured by us.
Drury, 10% of
your winnings tonight...
should easily be enough
to get us to Tokyo.
And don't feel bad about
taking the casino's money...
'cause they don't feel bad
about taking your money.
Just think, man: Japan.
Major label record deal,
beautiful Japanese women.
- You can do it.
- You do this all the time. This'll be cake.
Let's do it.
Yeah!
Let's do it!
Holy shit, you guys!
I can't believe
we lost all that money!
Dude, Drury,
I'm sorry, man.
That totally sucks.
That was,
like, $40,000!
Fifty.
Holy shit!
Phil, you're not
making it any better.
Why did you
have to say anything?
- What?
- [ David ] Phil!
That was our big chance when the dealer adds
her cards wrong and starts paying the table.
That shit happens.
You take the money and walk away.
You don't call it out,
not when I had the big bets out there.
It was confusing.
Phil.
If you were playing baseball
and you slid into home plate...
and you knew you were out,
but the umpire called you safe,
would you start
arguing the call?
I don't know. I don't even
know how to make a touchdown.
You guys, we're gonna
find a way to get there.
Well, we're all broke,
and Alex leaves in a week.
Maybe if you promise
your firstborn.
That's it!
Our firstborn!
Dude, Phil forget
to take his meds or what?
The van!
The Tennis Pro van.
Let's sell it.
It's true,
on my way up the charts
I broke
a few American hearts
But still I think
it's safe to say
Got no baggage 'cept for
what I checked at the gate
Here I come, Japan,
record in my hand
Looking for
my future crazed fans
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
Crap.
Uh--
That's not good.
[ Woman On PA ] May I have your
attention, please? Flight 9531 for--
Well, good thing I have our
tennis whites in my carry-on.
Dude, I'm not wearing
the tennis whites.
Okay, Dr. Killjoy.
And what happened
to the photo shoot?
Why did we have to wear
this stuff on the plane?
Shit. I was supposed to
take a picture for the club.
That was it?
Are you serious?
That's the photo shoot?
Dude, do you even know
where we are?
Let's just take
this one.
[ Bell Chiming ]
Oh, shit.
This is the wrong one.
Hey, hey.
Where you going?
Hey, hey!
[ Woman Singing: Pop ]
How close
to the hotel?
Can you pass
the salad?
Close.
What's the sleeping
situation?
We each
get our own rooms.
We get our own rooms?
Yeah.
Sweet!
[ Laughter ]
[ Woman ]
Are you ready?
Yes.
[ Laughter ]
[ Singing, Faint ]
Or do you fall
through the cracks
[ Snoring ]
[ Snoring Continues ]
[ Snoring Continues ]
Wake up,
you lazy bastards.
Hmm?
[ Sean ]
You guys, it's 5:00.
[ David ]
AM or PM?
Dude, you guys,
it's 5:00 PM.
It's 5:00 PM.
We have to go.
Come see our band.
Okay.
We're playing.
Tonight.
[ Chattering ]
[ Speaking Japanese ]
No, he says there's three
different kinds of--
[ Japanese ] We'll take a
look during the sound check.
Are we gonna get a sound check?
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll
figure that out.
All right. Set list.
This just tells us
what to do, what not to do.
Rules?
Rules.
[ Phil ]
Okay, so "Shorts."
"Shorts."
"Salmon." "Shorts."
Maybe not "Salmon" tonight just
because it's our first show.
Yeah, okay.
Well, the lyrics don't
make sense in Japan, really.
I mean, we can do it. I think it's
already over 30 minutes, I think.
I think eight songs.
[ Feedback Hums ]
I wanna be there
when Shelly gets high
Could be tomorrow,
but it could be tonight
It's not something
that I'd ever try
But, oh, I want to be there
when Shelly gets high
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh, Shelly, pretty
buttoned-down girl
Why'd you have to go?
[ Phil ]
God.
[ Sighs ]
Dude, it sucks in there.
I can't even hear myself think.
The sound guy sucks, the acoustics
are terrible, the system's up to 11.
Alex is the only
audience member.
He really screwed us
on this gig, by the way.
Phil. Phil.
Phil. It's not water.
Not cool, man.
Dude, I got to admit,
I'm pretty worried.
This is not better
than Seattle.
At least in Seattle we had a tour
van, and I wasn't totally in debt.
I don't know what to tell you, man.
It's the first show.
By the way, you were
totally right about Alex.
Maybe I was right
about Alex.
In the meantime, I think we need
to go in and listen to this band.
I think we owe it to 'em.
It's a respect thing.
All right, all right.
You're right.
I didn't even give them a chance.
Maybe they're awesome.
[ Hard Rock ]
Yeah!
[ Screaming ]
Is that guy trying to light
his pubic hair on fire?
I think so.
[ Flame Bursts ]
Yup.
[ Cheering ]
Fuck, yeah!
Rock and roll!
You guys, that show
was a fucking disaster.
They forgot to add you to the
calendar, but the next place is better.
Is anybody
promoting the shows?
[ Alex ] I've got someone on
it, all right?
And I've got a phone call in
to Import Records.
They've got a huge festival
later this month.
And you know somebody there?
We should be
promoting our shows.
Let's go out on the street and
busk and pass out all our flyers.
Hey, what are the chances of getting
smaller rooms at the next hotel?
What's that have
to do with it?
[ Bells Jingling ]
Guys, here's your key.
You got the top floor
penthouse suite.
I'll see you
tomorrow afternoon.
- Sound check is at 2:00.
- Hey, where are you going?
I am gonna go stay
with a friend.
Is this guy dead?
[ Toilet Flushes ]
Are we
in the right room?
I need a beer.
[ Speaking Japanese ]
[ Belches ]
Beer. I'm in.
Guys, I am so tired,
I have to go to bed.
- I'll take care of the drunk guy.
- [ Groans ]
[ Farts ]
[ Loud Chattering ]
[ Man, Woman Moaning ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Chattering, Laughing ]
Kanpai. Kanpai.
Hey, he made it!
He made it!
- [ Cheering ]
- Kanpai!
[ Whooping, Cheering ]
Sean, this is Tsune.
This is his bar.
And this is
Pico Casanova.
He works here.
So Tsune was just telling us
that right down the street,
we're staying
in a love hotel.
What's a love hotel?
A Japanese equivalent
of maybe hourly-rate motel.
[ Laughter ]
So, you know, people live
in such close proximity...
that when it's time
for sexy time,
you take your wife or your
girlfriend or maybe prostitute...
to love hotel
so you have privacy.
So, uh, that's where
we're staying.
No, no, no, I--
No bullshit.
No, no, just ask Tsune.
- He stayed there last night.
- [ All ] Ooh!
[ Laughing ]
[ Rock ]
When those girls in their
two-piece string bikinis
Go water-ski
around the lake
I can't help but notice
how much I've had to drink
And how they're
looking great
I can't help it
Ooh, ooh
[ Fades ]
[ Flushing ]
Did you guys see that
funky bidet in the bathroom?
Dude, that's not a bidet.
Yes, it is.
Do you know what a bidet is?
Yeah.
That's an auxiliary sink.
[ Sighs ] Why would
they have an extra sink?
There's a sink
two feet away.
Dude, it's an auxiliary sink.
I just brushed my teeth in it.
Well, worked awesome
for me.
That's nasty.
I'm tired of kicking round
this town all summer
Babe, let's blaze a trail
from here to the border
Camping in the sand
is so much funner
Take my skateboard,
but give me summer
I wanna do "Surfing"
in our set list.
I don't know
if that's the warm-up.
Well, "Bikini" is a no-brainer
if "Surfing" is our first song.
I'm skeptical as to whether or not we're gonna
get to play more than half the songs, so--
Well, so far we don't have
anybody breathing down our neck.
[ Pop ]
[ Women Vocalizing ]
[ Rock ]
[ Vocalizing ]
Some people
don't understand
Go to the college
and they learn the math
Some people
will never see, yeah
Because they take
themselves so seriously
Whoa-oh, oh-oh
It's not an art
Whoa-oh, oh-oh
It's rock and roll
[ Vocalizing ]
Whoa-oh, oh-oh
It's not an art
It's not an art
Whoa-oh, oh-oh
It's rock and roll
Whoa-oh-oh, oh, yeah
[ Japanese ]
American, yeah.
[ Japanese ]
Yeah, yeah, we stopped.
We look like a bunch of fucking
idiots in these tennis whites.
Seriously, guys,
I'm done with this.
I came here
to play shows--
preferably better ones than
the ones we had in Seattle.
I don't understand how you guys
are okay with this shit.
I'm sick of being
a fucking novelty act.
What does it
remind me of?
Ooh, that looks awesome.
So does that.
[ Men Singing In Japanese:
'50s Style Pop ]
It's so nice
to finally see the city.
[ Slow Drumbeat ]
[ Drumbeat Continues ]
I think those wedding processions
are going by like every 15 minutes.
They're taking pictures in the courtyard.
I'm gonna go over there.
Well, here they come
right now.
Oh, awesome.
It's beautiful here,
isn't it?
It is.
What's your name?
My name's Phil.
My name's Mans.
Nice to meet you, buddy.
Likewise.
Where you from?
New Jersey.
Right on.
So what are you doing here?
I'm just a student.
You go to school
here?
The world
is my university,
and Tokyo happens to be
the current classroom.
Hmm.
So what brings you
to Japan?
Um-- Well, I'm in a band
from Seattle-- Tennis Pro--
and in the band, all of us think that
musically we can connect with Tokyo.
That's cool.
Do you sing?
Yeah.
Songwriter?
Yep.
I can tell.
I really like
your energy.
Thanks.
It's good.
I dig you.
I dig you, Phil.
Well, thanks, man.
That's awesome.
It's hard to connect
with people in Tokyo.
That's why when I spotted you,
I knew I had to make my move.
Okay.
So what is this thing?
It's a sound recorder.
I record my thoughts,
ideas,
dreams, bird calls.
So you're like
a sound collector?
If you don't capture
your ideas in the moment,
you may lose them
forever.
I've made that mistake
so many times.
That's why I carry this
around with me.
This city has
a lot to offer, Phil,
and if you're up for it, I'll be willing
to show you around one of these nights.
Sounds fun.
Phil, would you like
a free hug?
Hell, yeah.
Hell, yeah. Hi.
Aw. Thank you.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you.
It's a good hug.
Awesome.
The Yaminote line.
Those hugs were great.
I really appreciated those
people doing that, you know?
Standing there.
This is Tokyo.
People don't touch
each other in public.
Well, this is my spot.
Thanks for the inspiring conversation.
Practice what you preach,
buddy.
Hey, thank you.
Right on.
Hey, take care
of yourself, Phil.
I'll see you at one of your shows.
Yeah, you got the flyer, so--
Where's David?
[ Barking ]
[ Bicycle Bell Rings ]
Dude, I'm sorry.
We did not mean to ditch you again.
You always find your way back,
so I wasn't too worried.
- But I mean--
- Oh, my God. Are you guys seeing this?
Seeing what?
Are you serious?
Whoa.
Alex is a stud.
Hungry?
- Was that who you were staying with?
- Her? Yeah.
What?
Alex, what is this?
This is okonomiyaki.
It's kind of like
a Japanese-style pancake.
It smells delicious.
- Have you heard from your record producer friend?
- Not yet.
- Will they come to a show?
- He said he would.
- Is he gonna be the only one at the show?
- Look, I'm working on it.
Okay?
I'm workin' on it.
Jesus fucking Christ.
[ Speaking Japanese ]
Uh, ice cream dog?
Ice cream?
The dog.
- [ Japanese ]
- Uh, rum raisin and, uh--
- [ Japanese ]
- Chocolate?
S.
Did you see it says,
"We'll serve you good taste"?
Arigato.
Thank you, thank you.
[ Phil ] Is it hot?
Yeah, it's really hot.
Is it more clean if I eat part of it
and you eat the rest, or if I touch it--
What's it called?
It's rum raisin and chocolate.
Now it's thumb raisin.
It's an ice cream hot dog.
Oh, my God.
It tastes like a doughnut.
I suddenly feel like this is
the best decision ever.
I don't want to share.
Hold on.
[ Man Singing In Japanese ]
Looking good
in the whites!
Ow.
How much money
you got?
I've got, like, 20 bucks.
Why?
Let's go win
at pachinko.
We gotta make this into more
for beer money.
There's no way.
This is just a game.
Dude, you're a professional gambler.
You can totally do this.
Come on.
[ Loud Electronic ]
How do we even do this?
Just watch
what she's doing.
She's not doing anything.
You just put
the balls in here,
and then you turn this thing,
and it goes through up here.
You don't have to, like,
aim it or something? I don't think so.
I don't think there's
any way to win at this.
I'm winning.
I think I did something good.
My little turtles are making happy noises.
I think we're gonna make
some money off this.
How much do you think
this is worth?
Whoa!
That is nice, dude!
Dude, I didn't know you
couldn't win cash there.
Fifty bucks for this?
I'm sorry.
What time is it?
We're late for the show.
Oh, shit!
[ Muffled Rock ]
Hi. We're Tennis Pro.
We're playing tonight.
You Tennis Pro?
Yeah.
You're late.
You missed sound check.
Oh. Well--
Oh, Alex, hi!
Really?
[ Japanese ]
[ Speaking Japanese ]
[ Rock ]
[ Japanese ]
These guys came all the way
from the States to play.
You said 20,000 yen.
[ Japanese ]
Oh, come on, come on.
No.
[ Speaking Japanese ]
20,000.
Don't touch me.
Don't fuckin' touch me.
When are the Harpy's and Tennis
Pro going to tour together?
Come to Seattle?
Yeah, Seattle and Portland and Olympia.
Yeah? Los Angeles,
San Francisco, San Diego.
[ Woman ] Want to go.
[ David Laughs ]
I want to
play together again.
Can you fit
in my suitcase?
Please.
Come and catch me
if you can
Boy, you can try,
but I'm the man
There's one thing
you'll need to understand
Ha-ha-ha
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Ain't no record
I can't break
On the asphalt
and on the lake
I'm the fastest man
on the water and on the land
[ Vocalizing ]
Oh, yeah
[ Vocalizing ]
Oh, yeah
[ Vocalizing ]
Go!
Into your heart
and into your kitchen
Babe, these wounds might
need some stitchin'
But then I'll be off
'cause the race is on
Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Don't you make
the same mistake
As all those doubters
in my wake
I'm the fastest man
on the water and on the land
Oh, oh-oh
Oh-oh
I'm the fastest man
on the water
And on the land
[ Ends ]
[ Cheering ]
Thank you.
Arigato.
That was awesome.
There was more participation
from the audience too.
- What was Nils doing there?
- Mans?
- Mans?
- I think his name is Mans.
What? That guy's got
some serious knowledge, man.
Did you give him a flyer?
Yes, I did.
I think he was fucking singing along.
What's up, man?
Good to see you.
How you doin'?
Excellent.
You guys really rocked it hard.
Thanks, buddy.
That was like straight-up
Berlin, like 1980.
[ Crowd Cheering ]
[ Shouting In Japanese ]
[ Singing
In Japanese ]
[ Continues, Muffled ]
[ Cheering, Applauding ]
Does anybody know how
to get to the after party?
[ Phil ]
Ice cream.
Ice cream, ice cream
Ice cream, ice cream
[ Whispers ]
Ice cream.
[ Quietly ]
Ice cream.
Ice cream.
[ Japanese ]
Ice cream, ice cream
Ice--
Shh.
Sorry.
Ah! [ Phil ] The shortcut.
[ Phil ] Are you
the bass player?
[ Screams ]
Yay!
[ Woman Singing
In Japanese ]
[ Japanese ]
Yeah!
I love it!
[ Continues ]
[ Man Speaking Japanese ]
Okawari.
Kanpai.
Yeah!
[ All Chattering ]
[ Alex Speaks Japanese,
Echoing ]
What's up,
rock star?
Your show
last night?
Totally rockin'.
I couldn't find
the after party.
That's cool.
I met this freak
in the maid bar.
Totally wild.
You want to come to the
soap bar with me tonight?
[ Phil ]
I think I'm still drunk.
And I'm so frickin' hungry.
No. Fishy noodles.
Not interested.
There's an egg on that one,
but I don't-- No.
Egg on a fish head.
No, thanks.
No.
No rotten bean on rice.
[ Sighs ]
No, I don't want dessert.
What time is it?
11:00.
Damn it!
Breakfast is over
at 10:30.
We're in Japan. Why do you
want American fast food anyway?
Well, I don't normally,
but there's no breakfast here.
I want eggs, bacon,
hash browns.
All right.
We'll just get whatever.
I'm on my last pair
of socks today.
I saw that in town they have
the-- one of the laundromats.
[ Phil ]
I wish we had our luggage.
My one pair of underwear
is in the wash,
and these shorts are
not meant for freestyle jazz.
Did you hear anything from Alex?
Mm-mmm.
No, I haven't even talked to him
since the show the other night.
- [ Phil ] It sucks having to wear the same pants every day.
- Are those gonna shrink?
[ David ] Can you dry velour?
I think you can dry velour.
Dude, if you dry them-- Although
they're super wrinkly now.
If something goes wrong, you're gonna
be wearing your tennis shorts on stage.
Well,
I've done it before.
Oh, no,
I can't read this.
"T" with a little thing, this,
and then it's upside-down "T."
Well, what, uh-- On a regular dryer,
what are the different options?
I'm just gonna push one
and hope for the best.
[ Dryer Humming ]
It's not turning.
It's the one below.
You put the machine money in the wrong one?
That's why. Oh, my gosh.
I'm an idiot.
It's not
the language barrier.
It's a different problem.
Arrows mean the same thing in Japanese.
Yeah. Now I know.
For the 20th time,
this is my bed.
This is our room.
Our room.
No!
This is my bed.
[ Sighs ]
No sexy time.
I just want privacy.
I want to sleep.
Oh, forget it.
[ Sighs ] So what's on
the agenda for tonight?
Well, I was gonna
go hang out with Mans.
He was gonna show me
around Tokyo...
and try to cure
my writer's block.
Yeah, I'll pass on that.
Drury, you wanna grab a drink at Big Time?
I think I'm gonna go play music with Maki.
She asked me to stop by.
[ Sean ] Yeah?
Play music with Maki, huh?
All right.
- I'm cool flying solo tonight.
- You could call Alex.
If I hang out with Alex,
it's almost guaranteed that one of us...
is gonna get a finger
cut off by yakuza.
I guess I could have
a sexy Skype session with Tiff.
Sexy time?
[ Computer Beeping ]
Oh, my God.
- Hello?
- Hey, babe. How's it going?
- Oh, hey. How are you?
- I miss you.
I miss you.
- And you better get your ass home soon.
- Yeah, I know, hon.
We got a couple more shows,
and then we'll be on our way home.
- Any groupies coming home with you?
- Yeah, boatloads.
Hmm.
So what are you doing?
I don't know.
I just had a little time and--
I don't know, thought I'd call you
and-- I guess maybe I was thinking--
- What are you thinking?
- I was thinking you look pretty damn good.
- Who the hell was that?
- Who?
There was some chick in
your room in her underwear.
Her? She's nobody.
I don't even know who that is.
You don't know? You don't know?
That's so convenient.
You are such
a selfish asshole.
Listen, I may be an asshole,
but that girl is not with me.
I have no idea who she--
[ Sighs ]
Fuck.
[ Mans ]
Phil, every breath...
should be your last.
Every sight
should be your first.
Open your mind
to experience,
and experience will open
new doors for you.
[ Rock ]
[ Man ]
Well, it walks, it talks
It crawls on its belly
This place is amazing.
Kanpai!
Kanpai!
[ Continues ]
[ Exhales ] That is nice.
What is it?
Shochu.
- First time?
- First time.
Special shochu.
Okay.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Doorbell Rings ]
Hey, David.
Here to play?
Then let's play.
[ Rock ]
Whoa.
[ Chuckles ]
Should I do this here?
Oh, man.
[ Continues ]
Oh!
[ Chuckles ]
[ Buzzing ]
[ Woman Singing
In Japanese ]
[ Speaking Japanese ]
Here you are the master
and she is subservient to you.
Welcome home, master.
How old is she?
I'm 17 forever.
Shall we try
a little dessert?
What else
do they do here?
[ Tinkling ]
[ Woman Continues
Singing In Japanese ]
Buri buri.
Buri buri.
- Shaka shaka.
- Shaka shaka.
Three, two, one.
[ Both ]
Moe, moe, kyu!
Phil, you need to fully immerse
yourself in your surroundings.
Grab life by the balls.
Shake them.
So, what exactly...
am I doing here?
Have you ever been bathed
by a human sponge?
I don't know what Robin's
gonna think about this.
Let her work, Phil.
[ Mans ]
Watch her work.
[ Rock Resumes ]
Yeah!
[ Coughs ]
I liked that.
Let it take you, Phil.
[ Man ] Do you know how to dance?
Yeah, I bet you do
Surrender
to the shochu.
So good.
Show me what you can do
[ Woman Shouting In Japanese ]
[ Man Singing Ballad ]
[ Rock Continues ]
[ Echoing, Feedback ]
[ Sinister Laughter ]
[ Pinball Machine
Clanging ]
[ Muttering ] [
Mans, Echoing ] Phil.
Phil.
Phil.
[ Quacking ]
What a beautiful garden.
What kind of shochu
was that?
Are you guys seeing this?
Trippy.
[ Japanese Women ]
Trippy, trippy, trippy!
[ Speaking ]
Projectionist
isn't paying any--
Ah. That's better.
[ Japanese Women ] Ooh!
[ Laughing ] What is all this?
Record your lyrics,
Phil.
Lyrics.
Watch her working, Phil.
She's fond of working
in her garden all day.
She's fond of working
in her garden.
In her garden, you know?
Ooh, Irish lady, tell me
How does your garden grow?
Kimberly,
pick the weeds
While Anthony mows
Kimberly, pick the weeds
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Pick the weeds carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Kimberly,
pick the weeds
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Pick the weeds
carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
She's fond of
working in her garden
In her garden all day
Even if it rains,
she picks the weeds anyway
Ooh, Irish lady,
go outside
And water the lawn
Kimberly, pick the weeds
As Tony cleans the pond
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Kimberly, pick the weeds
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Pick the weeds carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Kimberly, pick the weeds
Pick the weeds, Kimberly
Pick the weeds
carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Kimberly, pick the weeds
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Pick the weeds carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Kimberly, pick the weeds
Pick the weeds, Kimberly
Pick the weeds
carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
[ Mans, Echoing ]
Record your lyrics, Phil!
Holy shit!
What the hell, man?
Do you have a pen?
What are you doing?
I just dreamed an entire song.
I need a pen. I don't want to forget it.
[ Knocking ]
Come on, wake up, guys.
We gotta go.
Do you have a pen?
I need a pen.
Fuck. You need
to put some clothes on.
- Where are you, pen?
- Where's David?
- I don't know.
- Yes!
I guess things must've gone well
with Maki last night.
Maki.
Are you serious?
- That bastard.
- Dude, are you serious?
You have plenty of girlfriends over here.
Some of us aren't so fortunate.
I have to wake up
next to this.
Ooh. Well,
get your unfortunate ass out of bed.
We gotta go.
We got dinner with the Harpy's.
All right. Any word on our luggage?
Pick the weeds, Kimberly
No. Oh, by the way,
nice job the other night.
Phil, nice taint.
Phil. Dude. Come on, man. Sweet!
Where the hell
were you last night?
I don't know.
But I don't think
I have any money left.
[ Phil ]
So what is sushi roulette?
One of these pieces of sushi
is seriously dosed with wasabi.
Okay?
- She's gonna spin it.
- [ Chuckling ]
When it stops, she says
go, we each grab a piece.
Stick it in your mouth,
one bite whole.
No drinks until you're finished.
Got it?
- Yeah.
- Let's do it. I'm ready.
[ Alex Chuckles ]
Go.
[ Man Singing: Folk Rock ]
- Oishii!
- [ Laughing ]
[ Laughing Continues ]
Wasn't this your idea?
[ Phil ] It wa her idea!
I usually
rip it open, so--
- Kanpai!
- Kanpai!
[ Phone Beeping ]
[ Sean ]
It is It's sick.
Alex.
[ Speaking Japanese ]
Oh, shit.
Earthquake, guys.
Oh, fuck.
What?
What's going on?
Uh, earthquake?
Yes.
Should we get under the table?
Maybe?
[ Rumbling ]
[ David ]
That's not good.
[ Car Horn Honking ]
[ Rumbling Continues ]
We should go outside.
[ Car Horn Continues Honking
] [ Car Alarms Blaring ]
[ People Chattering,
Shouting ]
Call you from the hotel.
Okay?
[ Recording: Woman
Speaking Japanese ] Shit.
We gotta get packed and get out of here.
It's gonna be a madhouse at the airport.
If we don't leave now,
we are fucked.
Is it really that bad?
Maki seems to think it's gonna be okay.
I don't give a shit
what she says.
I ain't sticking around
to find out.
[ Beeping ]
Come on, come on.
Jesus Christ!
[ Man ] The latest information we have
now is that a one-meter tsunami...
has come ashore on the coast
of Miyagi Prefecture,
which is exactly the same area
that was hit very badly--
[ Woman ] A concern, of course, for many
Japanese citizens, will be nuclear safety--
Foreign nationals
are flocking to airports,
trying to get out of the country
as soon as possible.
[ Man #2 ] Airlines scrambled on
Thursday to fly passengers out of Tokyo.
Do we really
want to leave Japan?
I mean, sure, Alex is freaking
out, but everyone else seems fine.
That scared the
living hell out of me.
- Things were just starting to go good.
- Maybe for you, they were.
I don't want to
leave Japan either,
but I need to see my family
again while I'm still alive.
- Is the Internet working?
- No, it's not working.
Okay, you three,
I'm gonna go downstairs and get us a cab.
I'll meet you
outside now.
See you down there.
[ Horns Honking ]
[ Alarms Blaring ]
You play the cello?
I also play the cello.
Um, can I try?
Is it okay?
Okay?
Thank you.
Nice cello.
[ Classical ]
[ Continues ]
[ Continues ]
[ Continues ]
[ Mouthing Words ]
- [ Mouthing Words ]
- [ Mouthing Words ]
[ Ends ]
Thank you.
[ David ] I'm glad we
stayed, you guys.
[ Beeping ]
Hello?
Uh, I-is Phil there?
- Fear?
- Phil.
Oh. Phil.
[ Speaks Japanese ]
Hello?
Phil? Phil?
Yeah?
Skype.
Oh. Oh, okay.
Hey! How's it going?
We've been really worried.
All we're hearing about is the earthquake.
The Internet's been down, so I'm really sorry
I haven't been able to get ahold of you.
But you guys are safe, right?
Safe and sound.
Alex freaked and bolted,
but, you know,
we're gonna stay to do our last show.
So who was that
that answered earlier?
Oh, my gosh.
I don't even know.
Our bathroom is a communal bathroom for the
whole floor, and she speaks no English, so--
So she's not a groupie
or a prostitute?
Well, she's not
my prostitute.
I guess I don't
really wanna know.
I was just checking
to see if you were okay.
I should probably tell you about
this insane thing that happened.
And it wasn't my idea.
Phil,
I don't want to know.
Well, nothing bad happened,
but I did get a couple good
ideas for when I get home.
Have you ever heard
of a bubble dance?
[ Groans ]
[ Rock ]
Whoa-oh
Whoa-oh-oh-oh
It's rock and roll
[ Ends ]
[ Vocalizing ]
[ Cheering, Applause ]
So cool!
- Thank you so much.
- I love it.
People love it.
We enjoyed it.
Many band leave...
after earthquake.
Uh, do you want
more show with us?
We would love to play
more shows with you.
I'm happy.
People happy you stay.
I feel everything...
be okay.
Thanks.
It I gonna be okay.
It's an honor to stay.
[ Crowd Cheering ]
I send a sweet hello
To all the girls in Tokyo
I raise a glass
and make a plea
I am sweet on you,
so could you be sweet on me?
Here I come, Japan
A record in my hand
Looking for
my future crazed fans
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
[ Continues ]
[ Woman ] Thank you
for coming to Tokyo.
Thank you!
You kick ass!
I send a sweet hello
To the future
Mrs. Tennis Pro
I wanna know
if it's all right
Can you be my rock and roll
princess tonight?
Here I come, Japan
A record in my hand
Looking for
my future crazed fans
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
Ro-oll
Ro-oll
Whoa-whoa
Put my poster
on your bedroom wall
Buy my handsome
action figure doll
Baby, cry my name
to sleep at night
Whoo-whoo-whoo
American girls
got me so uptight
Baby, ain't no maybe
I'm what number one
was crafted for
Write my name
inside a heart
With lipstick
on your locker door
I'm your dream celebrity
So, baby, come on,
it's all right
I can be your rock and roll
savior tonight
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
[ Ends ]
Thank you, Tokyo.
- Hey!
- [ Customers Shouting "Hey!" ]
[ Man Laughs ]
Yeah!
[ Laughing Continues ]
Hey! Hey!
Hey
Somethin's goin' on
Tell me
just who I pissed off
Tell me, hey
Tell me
what's goin' on
[ Continues ]
What's the number-one question
that you get about the name?
Uh, "Which one of you guys
plays tennis?"
- And which one of you plays?
- None of us.
I see.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hence the name.
Yeah.
Why did Tennis Pro
come to Japan?
What made you guys
decide to come here?
We just thought maybe this would be a place we
could come and people would like our music.
I definitely feel a warm
reception from the people here.
You know, 'cause in the States, it
just-- it wasn't really happening for us.
I mean, we had
some success, but--
I don't want to say that it's a dead
end, but, I mean, it kind of--
We know how that story ends
back home.
My job as a journalist,
I interview people all the time,
and I had all these
interviews lined up--
film directors,
rock stars.
And everyone canceled
immediately after the earthquake.
You guys stayed.
What's up with that?
In the wake of all of that, you know,
a lot of those bands that did cancel,
we had the opportunity
to be their replacement band.
Mmm. And it was a
tremendous opportunity.
And I kind of feel like we made all these
friends, and we wanted to be with them.
And, uh, I don't know,
I guess in some fashion shoulder what they
were feeling and be there for them, you know?
We could tell that people
were affected by the music...
and by the fact
that we stayed and played.
When talking about
the music scene in Seattle,
several times you used a phrase like
"dead end" and "going to a dead end."
Does that mean that the band
might end sometime soon?
That's sort of
a hard question to answer.
I have a hard time seeing how it
makes sense for us to keep going.
So I don't know. I guess that's a
very, very real possibility.
I'm surprised to hear though
that you might end the band...
'cause, um, you know, at your last show
there was a rep from Import Records--
[ Coughs ]
um, at your show.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
He was definitely there to see you 'cause he
left right after you guys stopped playing.
And he watched our set?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've interviewed the guy before for
my work, so it was definitely him.
You don't have his phone number, do you?
I might still have his card.
You didn't know
about that, huh?
I didn't know that, no.
Oh. Sorry.
Alex really came through.
I can't believe it.
I thought the Import Records
thing was just a load of crap.
Well, since this guy set up the
dinner, does that mean he's paying?
You guys,
don't order anything else.
If this guy doesn't end up showing
up, we have to pay for all this.
Well, you said
he was coming.
Well, he was supposed
to be here an hour ago.
Tennis Pros.
How's it going? I'm Dax.
- I'm Sean.
- Sean, nice to meet you.
This is David.
David, nice to meet you.
- Phil.
- Yeah.
Um, so, hey, you guys thirsty?
Yeah.
- Sake? You like sake?
- Yeah.
Sake.
Suimasen.
So, how do you guys
know Alex?
That's kind of a long story, but we met him
back in Seattle, actually at one of our shows.
Uh, look, he told me
to come see your show.
I checked it out, came to that basement
bar-- I think it was Statto or something--
and I have to say
I liked what I saw.
You guys were poppy.
You know, it was energetic music.
And I think you guys
have got some potential.
But let me
cut to the chase.
I got a big show coming up,
and we're short acts.
So you want us
to play the show.
Well, only bands
on our label can play.
Oh.
So what I'm wondering is,
would you guys like to join
the roster at Import Records?
Uh, so you wanna sign us?
Yes. But it's short notice.
Show's coming up in two days. We got hotels
that'll cover accommodations for artists.
We can check you in
as early as tonight.
We would love to check in.
What's the attendance
at this festival like?
Normally about 10,000,
but I would say,
given the earthquake and the situation,
give or take a few thou.
You guys comfortable with big venues?
Yeah, for sure.
Gonna be a little bit
of a change from Statto.
- Yeah, I mean, we're up for it.
- Sounds awesome.
Well, in that case, kanpai.
Kanpai.
Welcome to Import Records.
Right, so I'm not gonna be able to
stick around, but here's my card.
If you have any questions, talk to my
secretary. She'll set you up with the hotel.
And dinner, drinks
on Import Records.
You celebrate, okay? And I look
forward to seeing you guys soon.
Amazing.
Suimasen.
Can we order
some food, please?
[ Whispers ]
Sweet!
Oh, yeah.
You guys, are you kidding me
with this?
This is incredible.
Unbelievable.
- Kanpai.
- Kanpai!
[ Rock Intro ]
[ Man ]
Hey!
[ Man ] Mother,
she taught me, oh, so well
She was trying to keep me
from rock and roll hell
And, ooh, it's so tempting
When that fire
starts to burn
One thing I remember
It's the only thing
I've known, yeah
Don't ride
in purple cars
Don't play purple guitars
Don't ride
in purple cars
Don't play purple guitars
Huh!
This is special water.
Shochu. Yeah, yeah.
[ Phone Ringing ]
[ Continues ]
It's water. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see. Special.
[ Phone Ringing,
Buzzing ]
Hello? [ Dax ] Hey, Sean.
How's it going, man?
Hey, it's going good.
You like that hotel?
Hope it's not too crowded.
Oh, no, no, it's great. It's perfect.
I just wanna let you guys know we are really
excited about you guys playing the festival.
The label's excited about signing the
band, and it's gonna be great.
Yeah, that sounds great.
That sounds awesome.
So, yeah,
there's just one thing.
We loved the music.
Alex told us about the tennis outfits.
We think they're
a great marketing angle.
But, yeah, the main thing is,
you guys gotta lose the clown.
The clown?
It's your bass player.
Look, I saw him at the show,
with the polka dot tie and tails.
The guy's a joke.
You need someone with more sex appeal.
Yeah, well, Phil's more
than just our bass player.
Phil and I have been
friends since we were kids.
Phil writes half the songs.
I mean, he started
Tennis Pro with us.
Sean, Sean, Sean. We've got a
bass player lined up for the show.
Phil is out.
And that's our deal.
Look, I gotta jump off.
But, hey, you know, it's gonna be great.
I'll catch you later.
[ Speakers: Man ]
Scorpion attack
Scorpion attack
Scorpion attack
What you gonna do about
that scorpion attack?
Scorpion attack
Hey. What's going on?
[ Continues ]
So Import
doesn't want Phil.
What do you mean?
I mean I just spoke to Dax, and he
said we've got a deal if we lose Phil.
Shit.
How do we
tell him that?
Don't say anything
to him yet.
[ Continues ]
Scorpion attack
Scorpion attack
What you gonna do
about that?
[ Whistling ]
I heart Japan
I heart Japan
[ Whistling ]
That's nice.
[ Whistling
Continues ]
[ Phil ]
So pop the bubbly
Future's in front of me
I've got the whole world
in my hands
I heart Japan
Hey, guys,
what are we doing today?
Are we going formal or casual?
Do you guys realize that since we've
been here, I've written three songs?
And David's new song
is sweet.
It sucks though that
we don't have any merch.
We could make some serious
bank selling T-shirts.
When do you think
we get to sound check?
There isn't gonna be a sound check.
No, I mean tomorrow.
There's
no sound check.
Of course
there's a sound check.
We're not playing
tomorrow.
What do you mean,
we're not playing tomorrow?
Phil, I told him no.
I told him we're not gonna play the show.
This is it.
Why would you tell him no?
You knew about this?
This is
our fucking moment.
Am I not part of the band anymore?
Why didn't you ask me?
Phil.
They didn't want you, Phil.
They wanted Tennis Pro.
They wanted Dave, and they wanted me.
They didn't want you.
They were gonna replace you.
That was the only way
they would give us the show.
That's fuckin' bullshit.
[ Exhales ]
[ Shutter Clicks ]
Hey, thanks, guys.
[ Sean ]
It's cool, man.
[ Phil ] Hey, Dave, can you get
a picture of me, uh, for Robin?
[ David ]
Sure. Just a sec.
This-- This really is
unbelievable up here.
Such a huge,
bustling city,
but it seems so calm
from up here.
[ Guitar ]
I woke up
On the wrong side
Of the Pacific
Sixteen hours
ahead of my feet
Chased by
All the ghosts
Of never quite terrific
Lost in the bright,
shuttered streets
[ Both Vocalizing ]
Guys, guys, guys.
I'm glad I caught up with you.
I'm gonna give you a copy of my
article that I wrote on you guys.
Very cool.
So this is on AP now.
It's already been picked up
by some of the media in Seattle,
and I hope it's gonna
help you guys out a lot.
Come back to Japan soon. Have a nice
trip back. We hope to. Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
Take care, guys.
No "sayonara."
Matane. Matane.
[ Crying ]
We're gonna see you soon.
[ David ] Did the
fits and the starts
And the stacked
deck of cards
Turn my broken heart
Yeah!
Black?
Is it on? Is it on?
Or is it all long gone?
Am I tangled up
in parachute
Or breaking with the dawn?
Shoulder the wheel
It's all I know
Give me the breath
to make it so
Let the bricks fall
Least I'm gonna
give 'em a show
Tell them all
Everyone
He was the man who fell
Fell into the rising sun
Write my name
On the tip of your tongue
He was the man who fell
Who fell into
the rising sun
[ Tea Kettle Whistling ]
I'm sorry I've been
such a pain in the ass.
I'm working on
being more responsible.
You know, I don't want you to think
that that trip was a complete waste.
I had to do it.
But I'll get this job,
and I'll make it up to you.
I'll be
your 9:00-to-5:00 guy.
Whoa!
This is nice.
You like it?
You made this.
I did.
This is amazing.
It's just a mock-up.
Figured you guys probably came
back with enough material...
you could maybe
write a new record.
There's temporary titles
on there,
but you can fill it in with whatever
song titles you guys come up with.
And the little "special thanks"
section, yeah, that has my name in it.
That lady there is a
representative of that lady...
who was in your hotel room
when I Skyped you.
How did you know
about Shimokita?
Well, that's that, uh, neighborhood
in Tokyo that you were talking about,
that they were thinking
about bulldozing.
And it just kinda
reminded me of your band.
You like it?
I love it.
But we didn't
even get signed.
I can't even say
we gained an audience.
Phil, I don't want
a 9:00-to-5:00 guy.
Hey, kids! Did you know your
mom was an amazing artist?
This is gonna be
our new record cover.
Drury wrote a couple songs.
"Satomi Bicycles," about a girl falling
off her bike. [ Drumsticks Tapping ]
Girl,
put that bicycle down
Hey, hey,
you're in no condition
We'll find another way home
Please leave it alone
I heard funeral bells
I saw black clouds
over heaven
Blood on the cobblestone
Please leave it alone
Satomi, don't go
Yeah, Tennis Pro. They're playing
tonight if you want to see them.
I'll get you in
on the guest list.
They're leaving
for Portland tomorrow.
They're playing San Francisco.
They're going down the whole West Coast.
Blood on the cobblestone
Please leave it alone
Satomi, don't go
The glass is smashed,
the love is spread
So let's put
all the clocks to bed
We're calling a car
to the French bar
But while we wait we're gonna say,
let's raise a glass to just one more
[ Continues ]
How's it going
with Sean?
It's complicated.
How's Phil?
He's good.
Last night he gave me a bubble dance.
Bubble dance?
It's kind of like if Mr. Bubble
gave you a lap dance.
Cheers?
I guess so.
You pulled your
white stockings down
Right in the middle
of dinner
Cut clean to the bone
Could not leave it alone
Go get me needle and thread 'cause,
girl, you're gonna need stitches
I ain't no doctor,
I know
But I can't leave it alone
Satomi, don't go
The moon is full
of words unsaid
So let's put all
the clocks to bed
We're calling a car
to the French bar
But while we wait we're gonna say,
let's raise a glass to just one more
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh, oh-oh
[ Continues ]
Guys, I'm so hung over.
Is the Internet still down?
Yeah, I can't get it up.
I was in bands there, man.
I made bands. I broke 'em up.
[ Screams ]
[ Inhales ] You have
a very awesome band.
Check this.
Record your lyrics, Phil.
I'm Sean. John--
[ Laughs ] Dax.
[ Vocalizing ]
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ohh
Satomi, don't go
Shimokita is not yet dead
So let's put
all the clocks to bed
We're calling a car
to the French bar
But while we wait we're gonna say,
let's raise a glass to just one more
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
[ Pop: Woman Singing
In Japanese ]
[ Continues ]
[ Continues ]
[ Japanese Woman ] Where is my master?
I am here to serve you.
I like little bears.
Wow.
You write kooky,
funny, cheeky?
[ Japanese Continues ]
[ Ends ]
[ Strings: Ballad ]
[ Phil ]
I heart Japan
I heart Japan
No
No, I don't
No, I don't wanna go home
Stay
Wanna stay
Wanna stay here forever
No
No, I don't
No, I don't wanna go home
Stay
Wanna stay, wanna stay
I heart Japan
I heart Japan
I heart Japan
I heart Japan
[ Pencil Scratching ]
[ Scraping Sound ]
[ Papers Rustling ]
[ Paper Crinkling ]
[ Page Turns ]
Boom-ba-doom, ba-bum-ba-bum
Ah.
Yeah, I bet you do
Bam-ba-dum, ba-bum-bum
Next to you
[ Pencil Tapping ]
Something right here
Uh!
[ Knocking ]
[ Pencil Tapping ]
[ Knocking Continues ]
- What?
- I gotta pee!
Have you done
your scales yet?
Yes!
Can you do 'em
one more time, please?
Fine!
[ Scales ]
[ Boy ] Aaah, aaah!
[ Grunts ]
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Do that again with the moaning thing.
[ Sighs ]
[ Scales ] Aaah, aaah!
[ Grunts ]
Ah, ah-ah-ah
Yeah!
Robin,
our son's a genius!
Ah, ah-ah-ah
Yeah!
I said-- Ah, ah-ah-ah Yeah!
Hot, right?
Rob-- Right?
Robin?
Oh.
Chet?
What?
Forgot to wipe.
[ Phone Rings ]
[ Man On Phone ]
Yeah?
I lost a bunch.
How much?
[ Sighs ]
Let me check.
I've got 10.
What happened?
I don't know. I was up 20,
and then the dealer got superhot.
They know I'm counting.
Look, the investors know the risks.
It always bounces back.
You know that.
Look, you're in that band, right?
Right. Have you ever played
to an audience that hates you?
Yeah.
How often?
All the time.
When you're done playing,
do they ever just love you afterwards?
Not really.
Okay, well, these guys are
gonna hate you when you're done,
after you go in there and win all
our money back plus some, okay?
You got an image
of that?
No, I--
I like the image.
You good?
I'm good.
[ Male Vocalists ]
Hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
[ Man Screams ]
[ Man ] If you're
gonna take his car
The tank won't
get you very far
So head on down
to the 7-Eleven
Today was crazy.
My boss calls me into his
office and tells me...
they're thinking that they
want me to move south now,
and I just put that offer in on
that incredibly beautiful condo,
and I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
I am not moving to Tacoma.
I mean, that's practically a demotion.
What's the point?
It's nice for you here...
because you just come in and you cut
people's hair, not to take away from it.
I mean, I know that you really put
a lot into what you do and-- Hmm.
Do you think--
Do you think it looks...
a little shorter on this side
than on this side?
Just like half an inch?
Yeah, you know what?
Um, why don't you just give me a minute?
Okay.
Definitely shorter.
[ Man Singing, Faint ]
[ Woman ]
Oh, okay, I'll call you.
Oh, I know.
[ Laughing ]
Hello?
Hey, you can't just leave!
[ Drumsticks Tapping ]
[ Rock ]
[ Man ]
We have priorities.
I send a sweet hello
To all the girls in Tokyo
I raise a glass
and make a plea
I'm sweet on you,
so could you be sweet on me?
Here I come, Japan,
record in my hand
Looking for
my future crazed fans
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
It's true,
on my way up the charts
I broke a few
American hearts
But still I think
it's safe to say
Can you be my rock and
roll princess tonight?
Here I come, Japan,
record in my hand
Looking for
my future crazed fans
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
Ro-oll
Ro-oll
Ro-oll
Put my poster
on your bedroom wall
Buy my handsome
action figure doll
Baby, cry my name
to sleep at night
Who's this band?
I don't know. I don't care.
Write my name inside a heart
with lipstick on your locker door
"Tennis Pro."
I can be your rock and
roll savior tonight
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
Hey, how much
are your T-shirts?
- They're 25.
- Ooh.
Fifteen. Ten. Five.
[ Door Closes ]
You guys ever been
to Japan?
No.
Who's the most popular American
rock band ever in Japan?
Uh, Nirvana.
Fuck you!
It's The Ventures!
Surf rock from
Tacoma, Washington!
Come on, "Pipeline," "Walk
Don't Run," "Wipeout!"
Come on, man! They've outsold
the Beatles 2-to-1 in Japan.
2-to-1!
So, that was awesome.
[ Laughing ]
But Japan?
Well, it's
an interesting idea.
You guys,
it's a great idea to go to Japan.
I'm just saying
two things--
A: Is that guy
even who he says he is?
Good question. And B: Did he
even seem right to you guys?
I mean-- What rock and
roller seems right?
I mean, I think that he's
got almost more credibility.
I'm sorry
that I said "fuck you."
But I just can't stand hearing
the word "Nirvana." All right?
Look, I was in
a fuckin' rock band, man.
Green River.
This was fucking before there
was Mudhoney and Pearl Jam, okay?
When my band broke up,
I moved to Japan.
I was in bands.
I lived the music scene.
I'm going back
in about a week,
and I think you guys
should go with me.
I can get you some shows.
I can show you around.
And I know that they'll
understand your brand of rock.
And besides, the only way that
you are gonna make it here...
is if you make it
somewhere else first.
Just think about it.
Yeah, listen, I would love to go.
I'm all for it.
I'm just saying, I don't know if I want
to go with that guy 'cause he's a nut.
I mean, frankly, I'm shocked that he
didn't show up at the club in his bathrobe.
[ Laughs ]
Pretty intense, dude.
Pretty intense.
[ Sean ] Yeah.
Hey, guys,
check this out.
"Green River
is widely regarded...
as being one of the
originators of the genre...
later known as grunge.
Following the demise
of Green River,
Gossard, Ament and Fairweather formed the
band Mother Love Bone and later Pearl Jam.
Vincent,
Green River's drummer,
moved to Japan
after the breakup...
and did not return to the
United States for many years."
So, how much band money
do we have?
Including last night?
Well, like, $12,
minus gas money.
Look, here's the thing.
That guy is psychotic,
but what he said does make a
certain amount of sense to me.
I mean, quite frankly, Seattle doesn't
get us, and they've never gotten us.
We've been together
seven years, and nothing.
I think Tokyo is our shot,
you guys.
- Agreed.
- We've got a week to raise the money.
Well, I just got fired.
I have a little bit
of severance,
and maybe I can pawn off some
of their bastard equipment.
For my part of things,
I can do a shit-ton of haircuts in a week.
I can put some more
blackjack trips on the books.
Casinos have been
sweating me lately,
but if I work at it,
I probably can get some more hours in.
I don't think I have anything
that I could sell.
What about that money?
- What money?
- Dude, Drury, that is a lot of money, man.
This is the team's money.
It doesn't belong to me.
Would they break your
kneecaps if you took it?
Well, it's not like--
it's not like that.
You could just say that
you lost it on a bad hand.
That happens all the time.
Well, yeah.
I mean,
we don't need all of it.
Just most of it.
Well, are you planning
on coming back?
I'll be back in two weeks.
- Who's going with you?
- Just the guys.
Hmm. No girls?
No.
- Are you sure?
- I'm sure.
Well, if you cheat on me,
I'll cut your balls off.
Babe, I'm not
gonna cheat on you.
Hmm.
Well, if you cheat on me,
I'll cut their balls off.
All right.
Honey?
I know you're stressed out with
exams, and I lost my job,
and we've got the back taxes, and the
kids' orthodontist bills are astronomical,
and we've got the oil tank
that's empty,
and the mortgage,
and the plumbing is leaking
and backing up simultaneously,
and the dishwasher's
on the fritz,
so I understand.
- But me and the guys have been talking--
- Mm-mmm.
Well,
do you wanna hear what I-- No.
If it involves the guys,
no.
No. You have so much
to do around here.
Not the guys.
You've done enough
with those guys.
Okay, I hear you.
I-I really do.
I understand,
and I agree with you.
You're right.
But, honey, I know
that Japan is gonna--
Japan?
love what we have to offer.
Are you serious?
Why?
I know it's crazy, but those are the
people that are gonna like our music,
and I just know that they're
gonna connect with us...
in a way that Seattle
hasn't connected.
Japan. Japan.
That's-- That's gonna do it for you.
I wanna know that we've
done everything we can...
to achieve
some kind of success.
Well, you could
just move on.
It's been, what, five years since
you guys have finished a new song?
Is it just writer's block,
or are you finished?
I think if you just let me go
to Japan and do this thing,
if we don't come back
with an audience,
then we'll be done.
- No more band.
- No more band.
So, uh, who's gonna
pay for this?
Well, that's a good question.
Look, Drury, you don't wanna do
it, you don't have to.
Yeah, I just don't want you
to feel pressured by us.
Drury, 10% of
your winnings tonight...
should easily be enough
to get us to Tokyo.
And don't feel bad about
taking the casino's money...
'cause they don't feel bad
about taking your money.
Just think, man: Japan.
Major label record deal,
beautiful Japanese women.
- You can do it.
- You do this all the time. This'll be cake.
Let's do it.
Yeah!
Let's do it!
Holy shit, you guys!
I can't believe
we lost all that money!
Dude, Drury,
I'm sorry, man.
That totally sucks.
That was,
like, $40,000!
Fifty.
Holy shit!
Phil, you're not
making it any better.
Why did you
have to say anything?
- What?
- [ David ] Phil!
That was our big chance when the dealer adds
her cards wrong and starts paying the table.
That shit happens.
You take the money and walk away.
You don't call it out,
not when I had the big bets out there.
It was confusing.
Phil.
If you were playing baseball
and you slid into home plate...
and you knew you were out,
but the umpire called you safe,
would you start
arguing the call?
I don't know. I don't even
know how to make a touchdown.
You guys, we're gonna
find a way to get there.
Well, we're all broke,
and Alex leaves in a week.
Maybe if you promise
your firstborn.
That's it!
Our firstborn!
Dude, Phil forget
to take his meds or what?
The van!
The Tennis Pro van.
Let's sell it.
It's true,
on my way up the charts
I broke
a few American hearts
But still I think
it's safe to say
Got no baggage 'cept for
what I checked at the gate
Here I come, Japan,
record in my hand
Looking for
my future crazed fans
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
Crap.
Uh--
That's not good.
[ Woman On PA ] May I have your
attention, please? Flight 9531 for--
Well, good thing I have our
tennis whites in my carry-on.
Dude, I'm not wearing
the tennis whites.
Okay, Dr. Killjoy.
And what happened
to the photo shoot?
Why did we have to wear
this stuff on the plane?
Shit. I was supposed to
take a picture for the club.
That was it?
Are you serious?
That's the photo shoot?
Dude, do you even know
where we are?
Let's just take
this one.
[ Bell Chiming ]
Oh, shit.
This is the wrong one.
Hey, hey.
Where you going?
Hey, hey!
[ Woman Singing: Pop ]
How close
to the hotel?
Can you pass
the salad?
Close.
What's the sleeping
situation?
We each
get our own rooms.
We get our own rooms?
Yeah.
Sweet!
[ Laughter ]
[ Woman ]
Are you ready?
Yes.
[ Laughter ]
[ Singing, Faint ]
Or do you fall
through the cracks
[ Snoring ]
[ Snoring Continues ]
[ Snoring Continues ]
Wake up,
you lazy bastards.
Hmm?
[ Sean ]
You guys, it's 5:00.
[ David ]
AM or PM?
Dude, you guys,
it's 5:00 PM.
It's 5:00 PM.
We have to go.
Come see our band.
Okay.
We're playing.
Tonight.
[ Chattering ]
[ Speaking Japanese ]
No, he says there's three
different kinds of--
[ Japanese ] We'll take a
look during the sound check.
Are we gonna get a sound check?
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll
figure that out.
All right. Set list.
This just tells us
what to do, what not to do.
Rules?
Rules.
[ Phil ]
Okay, so "Shorts."
"Shorts."
"Salmon." "Shorts."
Maybe not "Salmon" tonight just
because it's our first show.
Yeah, okay.
Well, the lyrics don't
make sense in Japan, really.
I mean, we can do it. I think it's
already over 30 minutes, I think.
I think eight songs.
[ Feedback Hums ]
I wanna be there
when Shelly gets high
Could be tomorrow,
but it could be tonight
It's not something
that I'd ever try
But, oh, I want to be there
when Shelly gets high
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh, Shelly, pretty
buttoned-down girl
Why'd you have to go?
[ Phil ]
God.
[ Sighs ]
Dude, it sucks in there.
I can't even hear myself think.
The sound guy sucks, the acoustics
are terrible, the system's up to 11.
Alex is the only
audience member.
He really screwed us
on this gig, by the way.
Phil. Phil.
Phil. It's not water.
Not cool, man.
Dude, I got to admit,
I'm pretty worried.
This is not better
than Seattle.
At least in Seattle we had a tour
van, and I wasn't totally in debt.
I don't know what to tell you, man.
It's the first show.
By the way, you were
totally right about Alex.
Maybe I was right
about Alex.
In the meantime, I think we need
to go in and listen to this band.
I think we owe it to 'em.
It's a respect thing.
All right, all right.
You're right.
I didn't even give them a chance.
Maybe they're awesome.
[ Hard Rock ]
Yeah!
[ Screaming ]
Is that guy trying to light
his pubic hair on fire?
I think so.
[ Flame Bursts ]
Yup.
[ Cheering ]
Fuck, yeah!
Rock and roll!
You guys, that show
was a fucking disaster.
They forgot to add you to the
calendar, but the next place is better.
Is anybody
promoting the shows?
[ Alex ] I've got someone on
it, all right?
And I've got a phone call in
to Import Records.
They've got a huge festival
later this month.
And you know somebody there?
We should be
promoting our shows.
Let's go out on the street and
busk and pass out all our flyers.
Hey, what are the chances of getting
smaller rooms at the next hotel?
What's that have
to do with it?
[ Bells Jingling ]
Guys, here's your key.
You got the top floor
penthouse suite.
I'll see you
tomorrow afternoon.
- Sound check is at 2:00.
- Hey, where are you going?
I am gonna go stay
with a friend.
Is this guy dead?
[ Toilet Flushes ]
Are we
in the right room?
I need a beer.
[ Speaking Japanese ]
[ Belches ]
Beer. I'm in.
Guys, I am so tired,
I have to go to bed.
- I'll take care of the drunk guy.
- [ Groans ]
[ Farts ]
[ Loud Chattering ]
[ Man, Woman Moaning ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Chattering, Laughing ]
Kanpai. Kanpai.
Hey, he made it!
He made it!
- [ Cheering ]
- Kanpai!
[ Whooping, Cheering ]
Sean, this is Tsune.
This is his bar.
And this is
Pico Casanova.
He works here.
So Tsune was just telling us
that right down the street,
we're staying
in a love hotel.
What's a love hotel?
A Japanese equivalent
of maybe hourly-rate motel.
[ Laughter ]
So, you know, people live
in such close proximity...
that when it's time
for sexy time,
you take your wife or your
girlfriend or maybe prostitute...
to love hotel
so you have privacy.
So, uh, that's where
we're staying.
No, no, no, I--
No bullshit.
No, no, just ask Tsune.
- He stayed there last night.
- [ All ] Ooh!
[ Laughing ]
[ Rock ]
When those girls in their
two-piece string bikinis
Go water-ski
around the lake
I can't help but notice
how much I've had to drink
And how they're
looking great
I can't help it
Ooh, ooh
[ Fades ]
[ Flushing ]
Did you guys see that
funky bidet in the bathroom?
Dude, that's not a bidet.
Yes, it is.
Do you know what a bidet is?
Yeah.
That's an auxiliary sink.
[ Sighs ] Why would
they have an extra sink?
There's a sink
two feet away.
Dude, it's an auxiliary sink.
I just brushed my teeth in it.
Well, worked awesome
for me.
That's nasty.
I'm tired of kicking round
this town all summer
Babe, let's blaze a trail
from here to the border
Camping in the sand
is so much funner
Take my skateboard,
but give me summer
I wanna do "Surfing"
in our set list.
I don't know
if that's the warm-up.
Well, "Bikini" is a no-brainer
if "Surfing" is our first song.
I'm skeptical as to whether or not we're gonna
get to play more than half the songs, so--
Well, so far we don't have
anybody breathing down our neck.
[ Pop ]
[ Women Vocalizing ]
[ Rock ]
[ Vocalizing ]
Some people
don't understand
Go to the college
and they learn the math
Some people
will never see, yeah
Because they take
themselves so seriously
Whoa-oh, oh-oh
It's not an art
Whoa-oh, oh-oh
It's rock and roll
[ Vocalizing ]
Whoa-oh, oh-oh
It's not an art
It's not an art
Whoa-oh, oh-oh
It's rock and roll
Whoa-oh-oh, oh, yeah
[ Japanese ]
American, yeah.
[ Japanese ]
Yeah, yeah, we stopped.
We look like a bunch of fucking
idiots in these tennis whites.
Seriously, guys,
I'm done with this.
I came here
to play shows--
preferably better ones than
the ones we had in Seattle.
I don't understand how you guys
are okay with this shit.
I'm sick of being
a fucking novelty act.
What does it
remind me of?
Ooh, that looks awesome.
So does that.
[ Men Singing In Japanese:
'50s Style Pop ]
It's so nice
to finally see the city.
[ Slow Drumbeat ]
[ Drumbeat Continues ]
I think those wedding processions
are going by like every 15 minutes.
They're taking pictures in the courtyard.
I'm gonna go over there.
Well, here they come
right now.
Oh, awesome.
It's beautiful here,
isn't it?
It is.
What's your name?
My name's Phil.
My name's Mans.
Nice to meet you, buddy.
Likewise.
Where you from?
New Jersey.
Right on.
So what are you doing here?
I'm just a student.
You go to school
here?
The world
is my university,
and Tokyo happens to be
the current classroom.
Hmm.
So what brings you
to Japan?
Um-- Well, I'm in a band
from Seattle-- Tennis Pro--
and in the band, all of us think that
musically we can connect with Tokyo.
That's cool.
Do you sing?
Yeah.
Songwriter?
Yep.
I can tell.
I really like
your energy.
Thanks.
It's good.
I dig you.
I dig you, Phil.
Well, thanks, man.
That's awesome.
It's hard to connect
with people in Tokyo.
That's why when I spotted you,
I knew I had to make my move.
Okay.
So what is this thing?
It's a sound recorder.
I record my thoughts,
ideas,
dreams, bird calls.
So you're like
a sound collector?
If you don't capture
your ideas in the moment,
you may lose them
forever.
I've made that mistake
so many times.
That's why I carry this
around with me.
This city has
a lot to offer, Phil,
and if you're up for it, I'll be willing
to show you around one of these nights.
Sounds fun.
Phil, would you like
a free hug?
Hell, yeah.
Hell, yeah. Hi.
Aw. Thank you.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you.
It's a good hug.
Awesome.
The Yaminote line.
Those hugs were great.
I really appreciated those
people doing that, you know?
Standing there.
This is Tokyo.
People don't touch
each other in public.
Well, this is my spot.
Thanks for the inspiring conversation.
Practice what you preach,
buddy.
Hey, thank you.
Right on.
Hey, take care
of yourself, Phil.
I'll see you at one of your shows.
Yeah, you got the flyer, so--
Where's David?
[ Barking ]
[ Bicycle Bell Rings ]
Dude, I'm sorry.
We did not mean to ditch you again.
You always find your way back,
so I wasn't too worried.
- But I mean--
- Oh, my God. Are you guys seeing this?
Seeing what?
Are you serious?
Whoa.
Alex is a stud.
Hungry?
- Was that who you were staying with?
- Her? Yeah.
What?
Alex, what is this?
This is okonomiyaki.
It's kind of like
a Japanese-style pancake.
It smells delicious.
- Have you heard from your record producer friend?
- Not yet.
- Will they come to a show?
- He said he would.
- Is he gonna be the only one at the show?
- Look, I'm working on it.
Okay?
I'm workin' on it.
Jesus fucking Christ.
[ Speaking Japanese ]
Uh, ice cream dog?
Ice cream?
The dog.
- [ Japanese ]
- Uh, rum raisin and, uh--
- [ Japanese ]
- Chocolate?
S.
Did you see it says,
"We'll serve you good taste"?
Arigato.
Thank you, thank you.
[ Phil ] Is it hot?
Yeah, it's really hot.
Is it more clean if I eat part of it
and you eat the rest, or if I touch it--
What's it called?
It's rum raisin and chocolate.
Now it's thumb raisin.
It's an ice cream hot dog.
Oh, my God.
It tastes like a doughnut.
I suddenly feel like this is
the best decision ever.
I don't want to share.
Hold on.
[ Man Singing In Japanese ]
Looking good
in the whites!
Ow.
How much money
you got?
I've got, like, 20 bucks.
Why?
Let's go win
at pachinko.
We gotta make this into more
for beer money.
There's no way.
This is just a game.
Dude, you're a professional gambler.
You can totally do this.
Come on.
[ Loud Electronic ]
How do we even do this?
Just watch
what she's doing.
She's not doing anything.
You just put
the balls in here,
and then you turn this thing,
and it goes through up here.
You don't have to, like,
aim it or something? I don't think so.
I don't think there's
any way to win at this.
I'm winning.
I think I did something good.
My little turtles are making happy noises.
I think we're gonna make
some money off this.
How much do you think
this is worth?
Whoa!
That is nice, dude!
Dude, I didn't know you
couldn't win cash there.
Fifty bucks for this?
I'm sorry.
What time is it?
We're late for the show.
Oh, shit!
[ Muffled Rock ]
Hi. We're Tennis Pro.
We're playing tonight.
You Tennis Pro?
Yeah.
You're late.
You missed sound check.
Oh. Well--
Oh, Alex, hi!
Really?
[ Japanese ]
[ Speaking Japanese ]
[ Rock ]
[ Japanese ]
These guys came all the way
from the States to play.
You said 20,000 yen.
[ Japanese ]
Oh, come on, come on.
No.
[ Speaking Japanese ]
20,000.
Don't touch me.
Don't fuckin' touch me.
When are the Harpy's and Tennis
Pro going to tour together?
Come to Seattle?
Yeah, Seattle and Portland and Olympia.
Yeah? Los Angeles,
San Francisco, San Diego.
[ Woman ] Want to go.
[ David Laughs ]
I want to
play together again.
Can you fit
in my suitcase?
Please.
Come and catch me
if you can
Boy, you can try,
but I'm the man
There's one thing
you'll need to understand
Ha-ha-ha
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Ain't no record
I can't break
On the asphalt
and on the lake
I'm the fastest man
on the water and on the land
[ Vocalizing ]
Oh, yeah
[ Vocalizing ]
Oh, yeah
[ Vocalizing ]
Go!
Into your heart
and into your kitchen
Babe, these wounds might
need some stitchin'
But then I'll be off
'cause the race is on
Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Don't you make
the same mistake
As all those doubters
in my wake
I'm the fastest man
on the water and on the land
Oh, oh-oh
Oh-oh
I'm the fastest man
on the water
And on the land
[ Ends ]
[ Cheering ]
Thank you.
Arigato.
That was awesome.
There was more participation
from the audience too.
- What was Nils doing there?
- Mans?
- Mans?
- I think his name is Mans.
What? That guy's got
some serious knowledge, man.
Did you give him a flyer?
Yes, I did.
I think he was fucking singing along.
What's up, man?
Good to see you.
How you doin'?
Excellent.
You guys really rocked it hard.
Thanks, buddy.
That was like straight-up
Berlin, like 1980.
[ Crowd Cheering ]
[ Shouting In Japanese ]
[ Singing
In Japanese ]
[ Continues, Muffled ]
[ Cheering, Applauding ]
Does anybody know how
to get to the after party?
[ Phil ]
Ice cream.
Ice cream, ice cream
Ice cream, ice cream
[ Whispers ]
Ice cream.
[ Quietly ]
Ice cream.
Ice cream.
[ Japanese ]
Ice cream, ice cream
Ice--
Shh.
Sorry.
Ah! [ Phil ] The shortcut.
[ Phil ] Are you
the bass player?
[ Screams ]
Yay!
[ Woman Singing
In Japanese ]
[ Japanese ]
Yeah!
I love it!
[ Continues ]
[ Man Speaking Japanese ]
Okawari.
Kanpai.
Yeah!
[ All Chattering ]
[ Alex Speaks Japanese,
Echoing ]
What's up,
rock star?
Your show
last night?
Totally rockin'.
I couldn't find
the after party.
That's cool.
I met this freak
in the maid bar.
Totally wild.
You want to come to the
soap bar with me tonight?
[ Phil ]
I think I'm still drunk.
And I'm so frickin' hungry.
No. Fishy noodles.
Not interested.
There's an egg on that one,
but I don't-- No.
Egg on a fish head.
No, thanks.
No.
No rotten bean on rice.
[ Sighs ]
No, I don't want dessert.
What time is it?
11:00.
Damn it!
Breakfast is over
at 10:30.
We're in Japan. Why do you
want American fast food anyway?
Well, I don't normally,
but there's no breakfast here.
I want eggs, bacon,
hash browns.
All right.
We'll just get whatever.
I'm on my last pair
of socks today.
I saw that in town they have
the-- one of the laundromats.
[ Phil ]
I wish we had our luggage.
My one pair of underwear
is in the wash,
and these shorts are
not meant for freestyle jazz.
Did you hear anything from Alex?
Mm-mmm.
No, I haven't even talked to him
since the show the other night.
- [ Phil ] It sucks having to wear the same pants every day.
- Are those gonna shrink?
[ David ] Can you dry velour?
I think you can dry velour.
Dude, if you dry them-- Although
they're super wrinkly now.
If something goes wrong, you're gonna
be wearing your tennis shorts on stage.
Well,
I've done it before.
Oh, no,
I can't read this.
"T" with a little thing, this,
and then it's upside-down "T."
Well, what, uh-- On a regular dryer,
what are the different options?
I'm just gonna push one
and hope for the best.
[ Dryer Humming ]
It's not turning.
It's the one below.
You put the machine money in the wrong one?
That's why. Oh, my gosh.
I'm an idiot.
It's not
the language barrier.
It's a different problem.
Arrows mean the same thing in Japanese.
Yeah. Now I know.
For the 20th time,
this is my bed.
This is our room.
Our room.
No!
This is my bed.
[ Sighs ]
No sexy time.
I just want privacy.
I want to sleep.
Oh, forget it.
[ Sighs ] So what's on
the agenda for tonight?
Well, I was gonna
go hang out with Mans.
He was gonna show me
around Tokyo...
and try to cure
my writer's block.
Yeah, I'll pass on that.
Drury, you wanna grab a drink at Big Time?
I think I'm gonna go play music with Maki.
She asked me to stop by.
[ Sean ] Yeah?
Play music with Maki, huh?
All right.
- I'm cool flying solo tonight.
- You could call Alex.
If I hang out with Alex,
it's almost guaranteed that one of us...
is gonna get a finger
cut off by yakuza.
I guess I could have
a sexy Skype session with Tiff.
Sexy time?
[ Computer Beeping ]
Oh, my God.
- Hello?
- Hey, babe. How's it going?
- Oh, hey. How are you?
- I miss you.
I miss you.
- And you better get your ass home soon.
- Yeah, I know, hon.
We got a couple more shows,
and then we'll be on our way home.
- Any groupies coming home with you?
- Yeah, boatloads.
Hmm.
So what are you doing?
I don't know.
I just had a little time and--
I don't know, thought I'd call you
and-- I guess maybe I was thinking--
- What are you thinking?
- I was thinking you look pretty damn good.
- Who the hell was that?
- Who?
There was some chick in
your room in her underwear.
Her? She's nobody.
I don't even know who that is.
You don't know? You don't know?
That's so convenient.
You are such
a selfish asshole.
Listen, I may be an asshole,
but that girl is not with me.
I have no idea who she--
[ Sighs ]
Fuck.
[ Mans ]
Phil, every breath...
should be your last.
Every sight
should be your first.
Open your mind
to experience,
and experience will open
new doors for you.
[ Rock ]
[ Man ]
Well, it walks, it talks
It crawls on its belly
This place is amazing.
Kanpai!
Kanpai!
[ Continues ]
[ Exhales ] That is nice.
What is it?
Shochu.
- First time?
- First time.
Special shochu.
Okay.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Doorbell Rings ]
Hey, David.
Here to play?
Then let's play.
[ Rock ]
Whoa.
[ Chuckles ]
Should I do this here?
Oh, man.
[ Continues ]
Oh!
[ Chuckles ]
[ Buzzing ]
[ Woman Singing
In Japanese ]
[ Speaking Japanese ]
Here you are the master
and she is subservient to you.
Welcome home, master.
How old is she?
I'm 17 forever.
Shall we try
a little dessert?
What else
do they do here?
[ Tinkling ]
[ Woman Continues
Singing In Japanese ]
Buri buri.
Buri buri.
- Shaka shaka.
- Shaka shaka.
Three, two, one.
[ Both ]
Moe, moe, kyu!
Phil, you need to fully immerse
yourself in your surroundings.
Grab life by the balls.
Shake them.
So, what exactly...
am I doing here?
Have you ever been bathed
by a human sponge?
I don't know what Robin's
gonna think about this.
Let her work, Phil.
[ Mans ]
Watch her work.
[ Rock Resumes ]
Yeah!
[ Coughs ]
I liked that.
Let it take you, Phil.
[ Man ] Do you know how to dance?
Yeah, I bet you do
Surrender
to the shochu.
So good.
Show me what you can do
[ Woman Shouting In Japanese ]
[ Man Singing Ballad ]
[ Rock Continues ]
[ Echoing, Feedback ]
[ Sinister Laughter ]
[ Pinball Machine
Clanging ]
[ Muttering ] [
Mans, Echoing ] Phil.
Phil.
Phil.
[ Quacking ]
What a beautiful garden.
What kind of shochu
was that?
Are you guys seeing this?
Trippy.
[ Japanese Women ]
Trippy, trippy, trippy!
[ Speaking ]
Projectionist
isn't paying any--
Ah. That's better.
[ Japanese Women ] Ooh!
[ Laughing ] What is all this?
Record your lyrics,
Phil.
Lyrics.
Watch her working, Phil.
She's fond of working
in her garden all day.
She's fond of working
in her garden.
In her garden, you know?
Ooh, Irish lady, tell me
How does your garden grow?
Kimberly,
pick the weeds
While Anthony mows
Kimberly, pick the weeds
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Pick the weeds carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Kimberly,
pick the weeds
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Pick the weeds
carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
She's fond of
working in her garden
In her garden all day
Even if it rains,
she picks the weeds anyway
Ooh, Irish lady,
go outside
And water the lawn
Kimberly, pick the weeds
As Tony cleans the pond
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Kimberly, pick the weeds
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Pick the weeds carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Kimberly, pick the weeds
Pick the weeds, Kimberly
Pick the weeds
carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Kimberly, pick the weeds
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Pick the weeds carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Kimberly, pick the weeds
Pick the weeds, Kimberly
Pick the weeds
carefully
Pick the weeds,
Kimberly
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
[ Mans, Echoing ]
Record your lyrics, Phil!
Holy shit!
What the hell, man?
Do you have a pen?
What are you doing?
I just dreamed an entire song.
I need a pen. I don't want to forget it.
[ Knocking ]
Come on, wake up, guys.
We gotta go.
Do you have a pen?
I need a pen.
Fuck. You need
to put some clothes on.
- Where are you, pen?
- Where's David?
- I don't know.
- Yes!
I guess things must've gone well
with Maki last night.
Maki.
Are you serious?
- That bastard.
- Dude, are you serious?
You have plenty of girlfriends over here.
Some of us aren't so fortunate.
I have to wake up
next to this.
Ooh. Well,
get your unfortunate ass out of bed.
We gotta go.
We got dinner with the Harpy's.
All right. Any word on our luggage?
Pick the weeds, Kimberly
No. Oh, by the way,
nice job the other night.
Phil, nice taint.
Phil. Dude. Come on, man. Sweet!
Where the hell
were you last night?
I don't know.
But I don't think
I have any money left.
[ Phil ]
So what is sushi roulette?
One of these pieces of sushi
is seriously dosed with wasabi.
Okay?
- She's gonna spin it.
- [ Chuckling ]
When it stops, she says
go, we each grab a piece.
Stick it in your mouth,
one bite whole.
No drinks until you're finished.
Got it?
- Yeah.
- Let's do it. I'm ready.
[ Alex Chuckles ]
Go.
[ Man Singing: Folk Rock ]
- Oishii!
- [ Laughing ]
[ Laughing Continues ]
Wasn't this your idea?
[ Phil ] It wa her idea!
I usually
rip it open, so--
- Kanpai!
- Kanpai!
[ Phone Beeping ]
[ Sean ]
It is It's sick.
Alex.
[ Speaking Japanese ]
Oh, shit.
Earthquake, guys.
Oh, fuck.
What?
What's going on?
Uh, earthquake?
Yes.
Should we get under the table?
Maybe?
[ Rumbling ]
[ David ]
That's not good.
[ Car Horn Honking ]
[ Rumbling Continues ]
We should go outside.
[ Car Horn Continues Honking
] [ Car Alarms Blaring ]
[ People Chattering,
Shouting ]
Call you from the hotel.
Okay?
[ Recording: Woman
Speaking Japanese ] Shit.
We gotta get packed and get out of here.
It's gonna be a madhouse at the airport.
If we don't leave now,
we are fucked.
Is it really that bad?
Maki seems to think it's gonna be okay.
I don't give a shit
what she says.
I ain't sticking around
to find out.
[ Beeping ]
Come on, come on.
Jesus Christ!
[ Man ] The latest information we have
now is that a one-meter tsunami...
has come ashore on the coast
of Miyagi Prefecture,
which is exactly the same area
that was hit very badly--
[ Woman ] A concern, of course, for many
Japanese citizens, will be nuclear safety--
Foreign nationals
are flocking to airports,
trying to get out of the country
as soon as possible.
[ Man #2 ] Airlines scrambled on
Thursday to fly passengers out of Tokyo.
Do we really
want to leave Japan?
I mean, sure, Alex is freaking
out, but everyone else seems fine.
That scared the
living hell out of me.
- Things were just starting to go good.
- Maybe for you, they were.
I don't want to
leave Japan either,
but I need to see my family
again while I'm still alive.
- Is the Internet working?
- No, it's not working.
Okay, you three,
I'm gonna go downstairs and get us a cab.
I'll meet you
outside now.
See you down there.
[ Horns Honking ]
[ Alarms Blaring ]
You play the cello?
I also play the cello.
Um, can I try?
Is it okay?
Okay?
Thank you.
Nice cello.
[ Classical ]
[ Continues ]
[ Continues ]
[ Continues ]
[ Mouthing Words ]
- [ Mouthing Words ]
- [ Mouthing Words ]
[ Ends ]
Thank you.
[ David ] I'm glad we
stayed, you guys.
[ Beeping ]
Hello?
Uh, I-is Phil there?
- Fear?
- Phil.
Oh. Phil.
[ Speaks Japanese ]
Hello?
Phil? Phil?
Yeah?
Skype.
Oh. Oh, okay.
Hey! How's it going?
We've been really worried.
All we're hearing about is the earthquake.
The Internet's been down, so I'm really sorry
I haven't been able to get ahold of you.
But you guys are safe, right?
Safe and sound.
Alex freaked and bolted,
but, you know,
we're gonna stay to do our last show.
So who was that
that answered earlier?
Oh, my gosh.
I don't even know.
Our bathroom is a communal bathroom for the
whole floor, and she speaks no English, so--
So she's not a groupie
or a prostitute?
Well, she's not
my prostitute.
I guess I don't
really wanna know.
I was just checking
to see if you were okay.
I should probably tell you about
this insane thing that happened.
And it wasn't my idea.
Phil,
I don't want to know.
Well, nothing bad happened,
but I did get a couple good
ideas for when I get home.
Have you ever heard
of a bubble dance?
[ Groans ]
[ Rock ]
Whoa-oh
Whoa-oh-oh-oh
It's rock and roll
[ Ends ]
[ Vocalizing ]
[ Cheering, Applause ]
So cool!
- Thank you so much.
- I love it.
People love it.
We enjoyed it.
Many band leave...
after earthquake.
Uh, do you want
more show with us?
We would love to play
more shows with you.
I'm happy.
People happy you stay.
I feel everything...
be okay.
Thanks.
It I gonna be okay.
It's an honor to stay.
[ Crowd Cheering ]
I send a sweet hello
To all the girls in Tokyo
I raise a glass
and make a plea
I am sweet on you,
so could you be sweet on me?
Here I come, Japan
A record in my hand
Looking for
my future crazed fans
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
[ Continues ]
[ Woman ] Thank you
for coming to Tokyo.
Thank you!
You kick ass!
I send a sweet hello
To the future
Mrs. Tennis Pro
I wanna know
if it's all right
Can you be my rock and roll
princess tonight?
Here I come, Japan
A record in my hand
Looking for
my future crazed fans
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
Ro-oll
Ro-oll
Whoa-whoa
Put my poster
on your bedroom wall
Buy my handsome
action figure doll
Baby, cry my name
to sleep at night
Whoo-whoo-whoo
American girls
got me so uptight
Baby, ain't no maybe
I'm what number one
was crafted for
Write my name
inside a heart
With lipstick
on your locker door
I'm your dream celebrity
So, baby, come on,
it's all right
I can be your rock and roll
savior tonight
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
Come on, scream and shout
That's what it's all about
It's rock and roll
[ Ends ]
Thank you, Tokyo.
- Hey!
- [ Customers Shouting "Hey!" ]
[ Man Laughs ]
Yeah!
[ Laughing Continues ]
Hey! Hey!
Hey
Somethin's goin' on
Tell me
just who I pissed off
Tell me, hey
Tell me
what's goin' on
[ Continues ]
What's the number-one question
that you get about the name?
Uh, "Which one of you guys
plays tennis?"
- And which one of you plays?
- None of us.
I see.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hence the name.
Yeah.
Why did Tennis Pro
come to Japan?
What made you guys
decide to come here?
We just thought maybe this would be a place we
could come and people would like our music.
I definitely feel a warm
reception from the people here.
You know, 'cause in the States, it
just-- it wasn't really happening for us.
I mean, we had
some success, but--
I don't want to say that it's a dead
end, but, I mean, it kind of--
We know how that story ends
back home.
My job as a journalist,
I interview people all the time,
and I had all these
interviews lined up--
film directors,
rock stars.
And everyone canceled
immediately after the earthquake.
You guys stayed.
What's up with that?
In the wake of all of that, you know,
a lot of those bands that did cancel,
we had the opportunity
to be their replacement band.
Mmm. And it was a
tremendous opportunity.
And I kind of feel like we made all these
friends, and we wanted to be with them.
And, uh, I don't know,
I guess in some fashion shoulder what they
were feeling and be there for them, you know?
We could tell that people
were affected by the music...
and by the fact
that we stayed and played.
When talking about
the music scene in Seattle,
several times you used a phrase like
"dead end" and "going to a dead end."
Does that mean that the band
might end sometime soon?
That's sort of
a hard question to answer.
I have a hard time seeing how it
makes sense for us to keep going.
So I don't know. I guess that's a
very, very real possibility.
I'm surprised to hear though
that you might end the band...
'cause, um, you know, at your last show
there was a rep from Import Records--
[ Coughs ]
um, at your show.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
He was definitely there to see you 'cause he
left right after you guys stopped playing.
And he watched our set?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've interviewed the guy before for
my work, so it was definitely him.
You don't have his phone number, do you?
I might still have his card.
You didn't know
about that, huh?
I didn't know that, no.
Oh. Sorry.
Alex really came through.
I can't believe it.
I thought the Import Records
thing was just a load of crap.
Well, since this guy set up the
dinner, does that mean he's paying?
You guys,
don't order anything else.
If this guy doesn't end up showing
up, we have to pay for all this.
Well, you said
he was coming.
Well, he was supposed
to be here an hour ago.
Tennis Pros.
How's it going? I'm Dax.
- I'm Sean.
- Sean, nice to meet you.
This is David.
David, nice to meet you.
- Phil.
- Yeah.
Um, so, hey, you guys thirsty?
Yeah.
- Sake? You like sake?
- Yeah.
Sake.
Suimasen.
So, how do you guys
know Alex?
That's kind of a long story, but we met him
back in Seattle, actually at one of our shows.
Uh, look, he told me
to come see your show.
I checked it out, came to that basement
bar-- I think it was Statto or something--
and I have to say
I liked what I saw.
You guys were poppy.
You know, it was energetic music.
And I think you guys
have got some potential.
But let me
cut to the chase.
I got a big show coming up,
and we're short acts.
So you want us
to play the show.
Well, only bands
on our label can play.
Oh.
So what I'm wondering is,
would you guys like to join
the roster at Import Records?
Uh, so you wanna sign us?
Yes. But it's short notice.
Show's coming up in two days. We got hotels
that'll cover accommodations for artists.
We can check you in
as early as tonight.
We would love to check in.
What's the attendance
at this festival like?
Normally about 10,000,
but I would say,
given the earthquake and the situation,
give or take a few thou.
You guys comfortable with big venues?
Yeah, for sure.
Gonna be a little bit
of a change from Statto.
- Yeah, I mean, we're up for it.
- Sounds awesome.
Well, in that case, kanpai.
Kanpai.
Welcome to Import Records.
Right, so I'm not gonna be able to
stick around, but here's my card.
If you have any questions, talk to my
secretary. She'll set you up with the hotel.
And dinner, drinks
on Import Records.
You celebrate, okay? And I look
forward to seeing you guys soon.
Amazing.
Suimasen.
Can we order
some food, please?
[ Whispers ]
Sweet!
Oh, yeah.
You guys, are you kidding me
with this?
This is incredible.
Unbelievable.
- Kanpai.
- Kanpai!
[ Rock Intro ]
[ Man ]
Hey!
[ Man ] Mother,
she taught me, oh, so well
She was trying to keep me
from rock and roll hell
And, ooh, it's so tempting
When that fire
starts to burn
One thing I remember
It's the only thing
I've known, yeah
Don't ride
in purple cars
Don't play purple guitars
Don't ride
in purple cars
Don't play purple guitars
Huh!
This is special water.
Shochu. Yeah, yeah.
[ Phone Ringing ]
[ Continues ]
It's water. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see. Special.
[ Phone Ringing,
Buzzing ]
Hello? [ Dax ] Hey, Sean.
How's it going, man?
Hey, it's going good.
You like that hotel?
Hope it's not too crowded.
Oh, no, no, it's great. It's perfect.
I just wanna let you guys know we are really
excited about you guys playing the festival.
The label's excited about signing the
band, and it's gonna be great.
Yeah, that sounds great.
That sounds awesome.
So, yeah,
there's just one thing.
We loved the music.
Alex told us about the tennis outfits.
We think they're
a great marketing angle.
But, yeah, the main thing is,
you guys gotta lose the clown.
The clown?
It's your bass player.
Look, I saw him at the show,
with the polka dot tie and tails.
The guy's a joke.
You need someone with more sex appeal.
Yeah, well, Phil's more
than just our bass player.
Phil and I have been
friends since we were kids.
Phil writes half the songs.
I mean, he started
Tennis Pro with us.
Sean, Sean, Sean. We've got a
bass player lined up for the show.
Phil is out.
And that's our deal.
Look, I gotta jump off.
But, hey, you know, it's gonna be great.
I'll catch you later.
[ Speakers: Man ]
Scorpion attack
Scorpion attack
Scorpion attack
What you gonna do about
that scorpion attack?
Scorpion attack
Hey. What's going on?
[ Continues ]
So Import
doesn't want Phil.
What do you mean?
I mean I just spoke to Dax, and he
said we've got a deal if we lose Phil.
Shit.
How do we
tell him that?
Don't say anything
to him yet.
[ Continues ]
Scorpion attack
Scorpion attack
What you gonna do
about that?
[ Whistling ]
I heart Japan
I heart Japan
[ Whistling ]
That's nice.
[ Whistling
Continues ]
[ Phil ]
So pop the bubbly
Future's in front of me
I've got the whole world
in my hands
I heart Japan
Hey, guys,
what are we doing today?
Are we going formal or casual?
Do you guys realize that since we've
been here, I've written three songs?
And David's new song
is sweet.
It sucks though that
we don't have any merch.
We could make some serious
bank selling T-shirts.
When do you think
we get to sound check?
There isn't gonna be a sound check.
No, I mean tomorrow.
There's
no sound check.
Of course
there's a sound check.
We're not playing
tomorrow.
What do you mean,
we're not playing tomorrow?
Phil, I told him no.
I told him we're not gonna play the show.
This is it.
Why would you tell him no?
You knew about this?
This is
our fucking moment.
Am I not part of the band anymore?
Why didn't you ask me?
Phil.
They didn't want you, Phil.
They wanted Tennis Pro.
They wanted Dave, and they wanted me.
They didn't want you.
They were gonna replace you.
That was the only way
they would give us the show.
That's fuckin' bullshit.
[ Exhales ]
[ Shutter Clicks ]
Hey, thanks, guys.
[ Sean ]
It's cool, man.
[ Phil ] Hey, Dave, can you get
a picture of me, uh, for Robin?
[ David ]
Sure. Just a sec.
This-- This really is
unbelievable up here.
Such a huge,
bustling city,
but it seems so calm
from up here.
[ Guitar ]
I woke up
On the wrong side
Of the Pacific
Sixteen hours
ahead of my feet
Chased by
All the ghosts
Of never quite terrific
Lost in the bright,
shuttered streets
[ Both Vocalizing ]
Guys, guys, guys.
I'm glad I caught up with you.
I'm gonna give you a copy of my
article that I wrote on you guys.
Very cool.
So this is on AP now.
It's already been picked up
by some of the media in Seattle,
and I hope it's gonna
help you guys out a lot.
Come back to Japan soon. Have a nice
trip back. We hope to. Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
Take care, guys.
No "sayonara."
Matane. Matane.
[ Crying ]
We're gonna see you soon.
[ David ] Did the
fits and the starts
And the stacked
deck of cards
Turn my broken heart
Yeah!
Black?
Is it on? Is it on?
Or is it all long gone?
Am I tangled up
in parachute
Or breaking with the dawn?
Shoulder the wheel
It's all I know
Give me the breath
to make it so
Let the bricks fall
Least I'm gonna
give 'em a show
Tell them all
Everyone
He was the man who fell
Fell into the rising sun
Write my name
On the tip of your tongue
He was the man who fell
Who fell into
the rising sun
[ Tea Kettle Whistling ]
I'm sorry I've been
such a pain in the ass.
I'm working on
being more responsible.
You know, I don't want you to think
that that trip was a complete waste.
I had to do it.
But I'll get this job,
and I'll make it up to you.
I'll be
your 9:00-to-5:00 guy.
Whoa!
This is nice.
You like it?
You made this.
I did.
This is amazing.
It's just a mock-up.
Figured you guys probably came
back with enough material...
you could maybe
write a new record.
There's temporary titles
on there,
but you can fill it in with whatever
song titles you guys come up with.
And the little "special thanks"
section, yeah, that has my name in it.
That lady there is a
representative of that lady...
who was in your hotel room
when I Skyped you.
How did you know
about Shimokita?
Well, that's that, uh, neighborhood
in Tokyo that you were talking about,
that they were thinking
about bulldozing.
And it just kinda
reminded me of your band.
You like it?
I love it.
But we didn't
even get signed.
I can't even say
we gained an audience.
Phil, I don't want
a 9:00-to-5:00 guy.
Hey, kids! Did you know your
mom was an amazing artist?
This is gonna be
our new record cover.
Drury wrote a couple songs.
"Satomi Bicycles," about a girl falling
off her bike. [ Drumsticks Tapping ]
Girl,
put that bicycle down
Hey, hey,
you're in no condition
We'll find another way home
Please leave it alone
I heard funeral bells
I saw black clouds
over heaven
Blood on the cobblestone
Please leave it alone
Satomi, don't go
Yeah, Tennis Pro. They're playing
tonight if you want to see them.
I'll get you in
on the guest list.
They're leaving
for Portland tomorrow.
They're playing San Francisco.
They're going down the whole West Coast.
Blood on the cobblestone
Please leave it alone
Satomi, don't go
The glass is smashed,
the love is spread
So let's put
all the clocks to bed
We're calling a car
to the French bar
But while we wait we're gonna say,
let's raise a glass to just one more
[ Continues ]
How's it going
with Sean?
It's complicated.
How's Phil?
He's good.
Last night he gave me a bubble dance.
Bubble dance?
It's kind of like if Mr. Bubble
gave you a lap dance.
Cheers?
I guess so.
You pulled your
white stockings down
Right in the middle
of dinner
Cut clean to the bone
Could not leave it alone
Go get me needle and thread 'cause,
girl, you're gonna need stitches
I ain't no doctor,
I know
But I can't leave it alone
Satomi, don't go
The moon is full
of words unsaid
So let's put all
the clocks to bed
We're calling a car
to the French bar
But while we wait we're gonna say,
let's raise a glass to just one more
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh, oh-oh
[ Continues ]
Guys, I'm so hung over.
Is the Internet still down?
Yeah, I can't get it up.
I was in bands there, man.
I made bands. I broke 'em up.
[ Screams ]
[ Inhales ] You have
a very awesome band.
Check this.
Record your lyrics, Phil.
I'm Sean. John--
[ Laughs ] Dax.
[ Vocalizing ]
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ohh
Satomi, don't go
Shimokita is not yet dead
So let's put
all the clocks to bed
We're calling a car
to the French bar
But while we wait we're gonna say,
let's raise a glass to just one more
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
[ Pop: Woman Singing
In Japanese ]
[ Continues ]
[ Continues ]
[ Japanese Woman ] Where is my master?
I am here to serve you.
I like little bears.
Wow.
You write kooky,
funny, cheeky?
[ Japanese Continues ]
[ Ends ]
[ Strings: Ballad ]
[ Phil ]
I heart Japan
I heart Japan
No
No, I don't
No, I don't wanna go home
Stay
Wanna stay
Wanna stay here forever
No
No, I don't
No, I don't wanna go home
Stay
Wanna stay, wanna stay
I heart Japan
I heart Japan
I heart Japan
I heart Japan