Black Holes (2017) Movie Script

As the launch for the first-ever
mission to Mars nears,
the Space Center, organizes
cocktail parties for us astronauts.
And as Chief Commander,
I am required to attend.
Occasionally we run into
an old acquaintance or two.
Who the hell are you?
So there I was,
pressurization to the roof, right?
And the widget hits
the metrics component!
Youre our hope, Dave.
I must introduce you to Daddy.
You also run the risk of
bumping into people you'd
rather forget.
Hello, Dave.
You know each other?
I hadn't seen Professor Finger,
since my last training medical.
And until tonight,
I had no intention of
ever seeing him again.
Assume the position Dave.
Im going to study your anus,
so you can go study Mars.
Congratulations Dave,
you are now an astronaut.
Bon voyage!
Nice seeing you.
Bon voyage.
Yeah, nice seeing you.
Leaving already?
It was time to prepare for Mars Premium.
Space travel, involves intense thought
and a well-crafted plan of action.
For example, the shopping
list down in Youston's office.
Come in.
Its all here,
pasta, chips, coke, whiskey,
sausage, fries,
a bottle of Downy. And for desert...
My flan!
Come now, Dave.
You know why flan is not allowed
in a zero gravity environment.
The molecular structure will liquefied.
Nope! We replaced it with
a melon.
A melon?
But theyre not in season.
We genetically modified it.
It its seedless.
Goodbye, Dave.
Goodbye, Youston.
Id heard about nervous breakdowns due
to flan depressurization,
but the fact that Youston would lump me
in the same categories as
those intergalactic amateurs,
was both hurtful and suspicious.
I became wary of the melon.
If it had no parents,
how did it get here?
If it wasnt born, then it
never actually has lived.
And if it has never lived...
Well, Ill refuse to travel
with a dead melon.
I thought it wise to ask
for additional analysis.
I want a battery of tests done.
Do you understand?
Professor! Im picking up signal!
Then, give it a pencil.
This melon claims to be
the reincarnation of
a fashion designer.
Youston here, get down here
and try on your new spacesuit.
This melon is simply fascinating,
hes so smart, so cultured.
The team is crazy about him.
The purity of the lines.
The audacity of the materials.
This spacesuit is ridiculous,
who designed it?
While I was away, the melon
had taken control of NASA.
I decided to talk to
my superior about this.
Oh, dont be so obtuse,
that suit fits you like a glove.
Thats not the problem!
And while you are here Dave,
I am pleased to introduce
you to your new partner.
Obviously, the melon was in control.
And the vocal synthesizer that
enabled him to express himself freely,
didn't make things easier.
Hi, guys.
Your interior designer sucks.
What are you doing here?
Ill have a Cognac,
He freely imposed his eccentric
taste on my rocket ship,
my beautiful house.
My life.
One thought kept me in high spirits.
One thing that no astronaut
ever escapes.
Sorry buddy, we all had to do it.
Are you sure?
Doctor Fingers claws.
And dont forget Professor,
this season its all about Zebra prints.
Thanks for the advice, Melon.
You should visit more often, ma chrie.
Daddy, I have a life.
I can't assist you.
Hey, Dave!
Lets go, Clara.
See ya.
You're up, Dave.
But I dont have an appointment.
A shiver went down my spine.
What did that little fruit tell him?
Wasnt the Professor sworn to
uphold the Hippocratic oath?
And Clara,
since when she and the melon
became so chummy?
What caused this sudden complicity?
All that tenderness.
What was going on?
Hello, Dave.
Life is like a shoe box.
You never know what
you are going to get,
until you open it.
What are you doing here?
Oh, God.
No, Jesus, No.
Please! Stop!
Every sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic.
Ground Control to Commander Dave.
Do you copy?
Ground Control to Commander Dave.
Do you copy?
Melon here.
I think commander Dave fainted.
Youston to Melon, where are you?
Describe your location.
Sector B-21.
Near Singularity.
Dave to Houston,
I copy.
God damnit, Dave!
You scared the bejesus out of us.
Are you alright?
Do you remember the ending
of "2001: A Space Odyssey?"
The Kubrick movie?
Yeah, why?
I think I get it.
What did he say?
What did you say Dave?
The ending, with the creepy geezer...
Star Child and everything.
Yeah. I get it now.
Corrected and manually synced,
by H@w-to-kiLL @subscene.