Blank Check (1994) Movie Script

[Panting]
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Grunting]
Where are you?
Oh. Hello, beautiful.
[Kissing Sound]
Did you miss me?
Dad, I've given this|some thought...
and I've decided that since Damien|and Ralph have their own rooms,
well, there's no reason why they should|be bringing their junk into my room.
Well, how does that|sound, Helen?
- [Gulping]|- [Door Opening]
- Out of the way, stick boy!|- Hand & Foot is here to stay.
- Oops, kicked your baby monkey.|- Get out of here, Ralph!
- Here, take this.|- Go away, Damien. This is my room.
Was. Now it's also|the world headquarters|of Hand & Foot, Incorporated.
- Hand & Foot all the way!|- Hand & Foot, Hand & Foot,|Hand & Foot!
- Hand & Foot?|You guys aren't gonna make a dime.|- Okay, we'll use this.
- Yeah!|- Hey, that's my life savings!
- Consider yourself our silent partner.|- Yeah, say something and you're dead.
- Yeah.|- How's the big move going?
- Great.|- Good.
Come on, Ralph.|Gotta get to work.
Dad?|[Clears Throat]
Dad...
well, I've given this|a lot of thought,
and I've decided that...
- s-s-since Damien and Ralph|have their own room...|- Preston,
they need the space|for their business.
- Not my space.|- Young man, in this family,|industry gets rewarded.
While you're in here playing,|your brothers are hard at work.
- Yeah, kissin' butt for money.|- [Ralph] Well, you know|the golden rule.
- He who has the gold makes the rules.|- One day you'll have a job.
- When I was your age, I had my|own business cleaning wheels.|- [Mimicking Dad]
I was pulling down 100 bucks a week|polishing cars.
- You used to say 75.|- Well, you gotta think big, Preston.
- Surprise.|- [Brothers] Whoa, check it out.
Yeah, it's for your business.|We had a spare at the office.
- Damien, the speakers|are out in the hall.|- How does it work?
It imitates human intelligence,|like you guys.
- Preston, maybe you could teach|your brothers how to use it.|- Not possible.
[Dad]|The software will teach you how to do|everything but make love to a woman.
- Now I know what programme to get|your father for Christmas.|- Mom!
- Oops! Uh, here.|Let me help you with that.|- Preston, you're gonna be late...
- for Butch's birthday party.|- Who wants to celebrate|Butch's birth?
- [Dad] It's important|to get out of your room more.|- [Brothers] Our room.
Well, good luck, guys.
[Computer Beeps, Talks]|Damien and Ralph sleep...
butt to face, butt to face,
- butt to face,|- Huh?|- Who said that?
- Butt to face, butt to face,|- Type "Quit." Hit "Delete."
- Butt to face,|butt to face, butt to face...|- Turn it off! Pull the plug!
- Ow!|- Don't rub it. Be a man.
- [Moaning] Ouch!|- Little wimp.
[Dad] Come on, Preston. You don't want|to be late for Butch's birthday party.
- Are you gonna have fun today?|- [Preston] How can I, Dad?
- I don't have any money.|- Now, look. Here's a couple of bucks.
Ah, heck, you can have fun|all day on that.
You don't get out much,|do you, Dad?
[P.A.] Welcome to Fun Land.|Fun, fun, fun for everyone.
Welcome to Fun Land.|Fun, fun, fun for everyone.
- Hey. Hey, man.|- Hey, Butch.
Hey, man. Yeah!|Hey, what's up?
Oh, look.|It's Presto the Pesto.
- Hello, Butch.|- [Kids Laughing]
Oh!
- Tokens!|- [Kids Cheering]
- Give me 50. It's my birthday.|- Fifty.
- Twenty-five, please.|- Twenty-five.
- Twenty-seven.|- Twenty-seven.
- Six, please.|- Six.
Six.
- Coming?|- I don't know.
[Screaming]
[Screaming]
[Screaming]
- [Shouting]|- It's gonna be awesome!
- Yeah, let's go over here!|- This one!|- Hurry!
[Butch]|Hey, Preston! Hey, over here!
- Hey, Preston, how's your ostrich?|- Watch out!
Preston has an ostrich!
Hey, Preston,|come with us!
- Just kidding!|- [Laughing]
[Groaning]
[Dad] Did you have fun|at Butch's birthday party?
I have a question.|Are we broke?
- No, we just have to watch|our spending habits.|- That's right.
Like when your mother calls her sister|back East and talks for 97 minutes.
So if we're not|poverty-stricken,
there must be some other|reason I'm so deprived.
- We're outta here! Whoo!|- Goin' to the ball game.
- Can I go?|- We bought tickets, toad.
- [Mother] Damien!|- You need some cash?
- Nah, we got a bunch of change.|- Later, Preston.
It's not fair.|Why can't I have anything?
Well, Preston, they have jobs,|and they've learned to save.
How can I save money|if I don't have any?
A penny saved|is a penny earned.
- What do you want for your birthday?|- Money...
so I can pay to have Ralph|and Damien knocked off.
Anything else?
Well, maybe we'll give him|one of his birthday presents early.
A gift came|from Grandma today.
Hmm. What a rip-off!|It's a cheque for nothing!
I'm having a bad day.
Oh, your grandma just forgot|to fill in how much it was for,
but she signed it|at the bottom, see?
It's a blank cheque.
- We'll just fill in the amount.|- How much did you get|last year, honey?
A thousand.
- Ten dollars.|- Wait, Dad. What about inflation?
- Oh, make it 11.|- [Muttering]
You'd be surprised how fast...
eleven dollars can grow|with interest.
Preston?|Preston?
[Preston]|Eleven dollars...
at 3.45 interest.
[Computer]|Your account will reach...
one million dollars...
in 342,506 years.
I'm stuck here forever.
- [Dad] Lights out up there.|- Why?
My house, my rules.
"My house, my rules."
My own house.
[Yawning]
[Engine Stops, Car Door Shutting]
[Man]|Dave, who needs assets? I'm your asset.
- I'm a big asset. Oh, c...|- [Man On Phone] I can't believe you.
Dave, Dave. Come on, come on.|Why only borrow 150,000?
Our money is your money.|Round it off to two.
- Do I qualify?|- Of course you qualify|for the loan, Dave.
We're golf partners.
- You don't look happy to see me.|- Quig...
- Quigley.|- Quigley.
That's funny. I don't remember you|stuttering on the witness stand.
- You just sang|like a bird, didn't you?|- I had no choice, Carl.
- I mean, lying in court...|- You also pointed at me.
- That hurt.|- Well, I was under oath.
- I mean...|- Come here.
The only reason|you're alive, Biderman,
is I knew I might need you|again someday... like today.
Oh, sure. You need a loan?|The rates are great now.
- And you get a toaster.|- I don't need a toaster.
Before I went away, I put|aside a little nest egg.
[Gasping] These bills,|they're marked consecutively.
- They'd trace these in a minute.|- That's right.
- [Coughing]|- That's where you come in, old buddy.|I want new bills.
- We're back in the S&L business,|Biderman.|- Ah, money laundering...
- is very difficult these days, Carl.|- You still do it though, don't you?
That's a good-looking family|right there.
You're not gonna|hurt them, are you?
- Hate to have to.|- All right.
How do you want|to do this?
- I'll send my guy in tomorrow|with a cheque for a million.|- Tomorrow?
Yep, just like the old days.|You give him the cash, unmarked,|send him on his way.
- Whom should I expect?|- Whom should...
Whom should you expect?|His name is Juice.
- Juice?|- Mmm, he'll be here in exactly 24 hours.
Let's call it 1:00.
Come on. Walk me out.|Show a little respect.
Whoa.
I know how you feel.
- Hi.|- Hi. Can you see okay?
Oh, yeah.|Oh, yeah, sure.
I would like to open|an account, please.
Eleven dollars.
Do you have any other money|you'd like to deposit, Mr Waters?
Oh, uh, I could,
but it's sort of hard to save|around my house; that's why I'm here.
I'm afraid we have|a minimum balance. It's $200.
Two hundred dollars?
That could take|a million years.
Well, whenever you're ready,|please come back and see me.
My name's Shay Stanley.
- Ask for me.|- Okay, I'll do that.
- Thanks.|- Bye-bye.
- I-I'll see you next time.|- I hope it's not in a million years.
B-Bye-bye.
[Biderman]|Excuse me. Carl, Carl!
Here. You can use these cheques.|They're temporary.
- Thank you, Edward.|- Like our relationship.
- Sucker!|- Give me that!
- [Laughing]|- Give it to me!
Butch, give it to me!
- Preston, come on!|- Butch!
- Give it back! Whoa!|- If you can catch me!
Come on, Butch!
[Control Panel Dings, Engine Revs]
[Preston Screams]
- [Screaming]|- [Tyres Screeching]
Perfect.
What the hell do you|think you're doing?
L... l...
- Huh?|- [Butch] I saw the whole thing.
- I can be a witness|if the price is decent.|- Get outta here.
He's perfectly all right,|aren't you? Aren't you?
- Yes.|- Good. Get that thing out|from underneath my car.
What about my bike?
- Kid, was I the one that parked there...|- Oh, my word!
- Are you all right?|- He's fine. It was just|a little accident. He's okay.
- I think this guy's been drinking vodka.|- I have not been drink...
[Laughs] I don't drink at all.|Seriously, seriously.
Kid, talk to me.|How much you want for the bike?
- A thousand bucks.|- I'm not talking to you!
Bye, kid.|Go on. Walk away.
What do you want, kid?|Name a figure, we'll discuss it.
Give this to your dad. He'll know|what to do with it. I gotta go.
[Tyres Screeching]
[Tyre Squeaking]
Oh, man.
I thought we understood about|taking care of our valuables.
Valuable?|It was a piece of junk.
If that's how you feel|about a gift from your parents,
I don't see giving you|a new one for your birthday.
I don't want a new bike.|I want my own room.
I'm warning you. You're on thin ice|as it is about the bike.
You know what I want?
What I want|is my own house.
My rules, my money.
Listen, young man,|until further notice, you're grounded.
What'd I do wrong?
[Sighs]|Fred.
Hmm.
It's a blank cheque.
"[Computer Start-Up Tone]
Preston Waters.
Two hundred.
Hmm.
A thousand.
Hmm.
One million dollars.
Cash.
Whoa!
One million dollars.
[Electronic Zooming]
Hey, sonny.
Cashin' a big one today?
Uh, sort of.
Yoo-hoo.|Over here, young man.
- Well?|- I-I-I'd like to...
cash this cheque, please.
Oh, a comedian.|[Laughing]
- N-No, ma'am.|- Okay, then we better take it|to Mr Biderman. Come on!
- [Ticking]|- [Door Opening]
Excuse me, Mr Biderman.|We have a little problem here.
What is it, Mrs Udowitz?
- Someone thinks this is|some kind of game.|- What?
Let me see that.
I see.
Is there much of a line|out there, Mrs Udowitz?
- Yes, we're swamped.|- Then what are you doing here?
Please.
[Door Closes]
- Juice?|- No, thanks, I'm not thirsty.
Not thirsty.
Mr Quigley give you|this cheque?
He did.
He did.
How did you|run into Mr Quigley?
I didn't.|He ran into me.
Aha.
[Snickering]
[Laughing]|Brilliant. Brilliant!
- [Groans]|- I suppose you want big bills.
Actually, regular size|would be okay.
Regular.|Hmm.
That's cute.
Put your backpack|on the table.
Hey, hey.
I assume you know|what to do with this.
- Uh-huh. Yeah.|- Uh-huh.
Next!
Look here, sweetheart.|Mmm, you're lookin' kind of good there.
You got your pearls|and everything on.
Hate for something|to have to happen to 'em.
Look here,|my name is Juice...
and I got something right here,|and I wondered...
if you'd be so kind enough|as to cash it for me.
What do you want?|A million bucks?
Well, as a matter of fact,|I do.
[Sighs]|Go see Biderman.
Mm-mm.|Oh, my goodness gracious.
Here we go.|Here we go.
You tell Mr Quigley that|he hasn't lost his touch.
- Uh-huh.|- All right. You can go now.
Hey, kid!
- Stay away from the racetrack.|- Yes, sir.
Good one, man.|Looking good.
Mmm. Oh!|Excuse me, sweetie.
[Gasps]
- What's wrong with you, little boy?|- [Preston] I'm sorry.
Don't be messin' up a view|as good as all that.
- I-I'm sorry.|- What you doin'|out of school anyway, huh?
You know you oughta|be in school.
Go on and get up outta here|before I start to get upset.
Hurry up.
How, uh...|How may I help you, sir?
I'm big Juice, man.|Quigley sent me.
Everything is fine.
- Not to worry.|- Uh-huh.
Yeah!
- The Eagle has landed.|- Hmm?
The horse is in the barn.
The chicken...|is in the pot.
Look here, man, I don't know nothin'|about no eagles landin' and all of that.
I don't know nothin'|about no horse runnin' through the barn.
And I certainly don't know nothin'|about no... chickens bein' in the pot.
You understand?
But if you do me a favour...
as to be so kind as to cash|this cheque right there,
- I could be on my way.|- Wait.
- Quigley sent you?|- That's right.
- What about the kid?|- What kid? Man...
The kid! The kid|with the backpack!
Look here, man.|I'm tired of tellin' you this.
But if you don't give me|the money for that cheque,
I guarantee there's a bullet|with your name on it in this chamber.
[Moaning]|The kid with the backpack.
The kid with the backpack!|The backpack!
The backpack!|Shit! Oh, my god!
[Quigley]|150 grand, cash.
- It's my last offer, guys.|- [Woman] You're our Realtor.
You tell us. This offer is so|much less than our asking price.
Well, Mrs Appleton,|it really is a buyer's market.
Do you mind if we take a minute|to think about it?
Listen, I got all the time|in the world, sweetheart.
Too bad I can't say|the same for you two.
Applesauce, what's|with the long face, my man?
I bought your pad. You've got some cash.|It's a beautiful thing.
Su casa is soon to be mi casa.|You know what I'm saying?
- Groovin' thing, man.|- Yeah, well...
[Dial Tone]
- " [Start-Up Tone]|- [Sighs]
[Phone Ringing]
- Hello.|- [Computer] Good afternoon.
...your house.|- [Computer Beeps]
I'd like to make|a cash offer on your house.
Someone else|wants to make an offer.
What?|On this dump?
- Uh, hello, sir. Can you hear me?|- Who is this yo-yo?
[Typing]
- [Computer] One-sixty.|- What kind of hustle is this?
And what's with|your voice, pal?
Sore throat-itis.|[Computer Coughs]
Yeah. I'll tell you what. One-seventy|right now, cash, and I walk away.
- You take it or leave it right now.|- Ask the box.
One-eighty,|plus closing costs.
- One-eighty,|- [Preston] Top that, sucker.
Plus closing costs.
- One-ninety, darlin'. Top that.|- Preston, honey?
I have a few errands to run.|I'll be back by 2:00.
Okay. Bye, Mom.
- [Computer] Two hundred.|- Two-ten.
- Just to be safe, make that 3:00.|- [Laughs]
- Three hundred?|- Ma, you're killin' me on this deal.
Come on. Are you tellin' me|we're gonna sit here and listen...
to some talking box|with a robot voice? What is this?
Uh, 300 it is. Are you|prepared to top 300?
No, I don't think I'm prepared|to top 300! Are you out of your mind?
We had a deal here! Are you Realtors|just a bunch of crooks? Is that it?
What's going on|with you people?
Well, I am sorry|you feel that way,
but I have an offer|on the table of 300.
- [Computer] Thousand.|- Uh, we'll take it.
- Sold.|- Yeah.
You probably won't live|to enjoy the cash.
[Realtor] Just one thing, sir.|What is your name?
My name is Preston...
Bingo.
Macintosh.
My name is Macintosh.
Well, congratulations,|Mr Macintosh.
- You have a house.|- Yes!
I'm rich!
Yeah!
Whoo, yes!
Yeah!
Money!|Money!
- You did what with my money?|- [Juice] You're not|gonna believe this.
He gave all your money|to a little old bitty boy.
That was my nest egg.|That's all I had to start a new life.
I worked hard to steal|that money, Biderman!
You gave it to some|zit-faced little kid?
Now wait a minute.|I seen the kid.
- His skin looked pretty smooth.|- The boy had a cheque signed by you.
I didn't write a cheque to anybody|except for this genius here.
Now hold on a minute.
I'm not the one who cashed|a cheque for a million dollars.
- That was this man right here.|- Had your signature.
I said I didn't write it!|You gave me the cheque-book,
I put it in my pocket,|I got in my car, l...
l... I can't|feel my legs.
Uh, l...|Oh, oh, oh.
Calm down. I've got|a surveillance photo of the boy.
[Stammering]|We'll find him in no time.
- Oh, yeah, that's him.|- I can't see a thing.
I recognize him.|I'd know him anywhere.
It's upside-down.
All right. So where are you|gonna find the kid, Mr Family Man?
- Newspapers.|- You want me to advertise, is that it?
No, no, no.|They have listings.
Uh, family activities where, where...|You know, things where kids go. See?
Fine. You're gonna|help me find him.
- You understand? Dead or alive.|- Uh-huh.
Let's get out of here.
- Oh, don't think|you ain't comin' with us.|- [Gasping]
Somebody's in there|with Biderman now.
A couple of guys I've never seen before.|They've just left.
The money laundering|is definitely on again.
We've got to notify|the Bureau right away.
[Man]|Hello, Limousines Unlimited.
- You have the car keys?|- No, you have the car keys.
- Oh, yeah. You make sure|you-know-who stays grounded.|- And he goes to bed early.
- You got it, Pops.|- Don't call me that.
Uh, excuse me.
Sorry, kid.|Nobody famous inside.
Do you want to take your mitts|off the car, please?
- I'm waitin' for a client here.|- But I'm your client.
Oh, right, yeah.|And I'm Madonna.
Sorry, kid. The boss doesn't like me|taking baseball cards as payment.
So if you want to ride in this,|you need some buckaroos, buckarinis,
some moola, some dinero,|some money, some frogskins,
much similar to the money|you've given me...
In fact, identical to the money|you've given me right now.
I was just kiddin'|about bein' Madonna.
- My name's Henry.|- Hi, Henry. I'm Preston.
- Preston, good to see ya.|- Preston Waters.
Yes, nice to meet ya.|Hop in.
Go ahead.
I didn't actually|mean hop in, but...
So, where to,|boss?
- Well, Harry,|we're gonna go buy some stuff.|- Yes, sir.
[Tyres Screeching]
"Hey, yeah"
"Ow, whoo"
"The best things in life|are free"
"But you can keep them|for the birds and bees"
- "Now give me money"|- "That's what I want"
- "That's what I want, yeah"|- "That's what I want"
- "That's what I want Yeah"|- "That's what I want"
"That's what I want"
"Baby, your lovin'|gives me a thrill"
"But your lovin'|never paid my bills"
- "Now give me money"|- "That's what I want"
- "That's what I want"|- "That's what I want"
- "That's what I want"|- "That's"
"What I want"
"That's what I want"
"Give it to me, baby|Uh-huh"
- "Oh"|- "Money"
"I want m-m-m-m-money|Yeah"
"I got to have some money"
- " I want to have the money|Uh-huh, hey, hey"|- "Money"
"Hey, yeah"
"Money don't get everything|it's true"
"What it don't get now|I can't use"
- "I want m-m-m-money, hey"|- "That's what I want"
- "That's what I want"|- "That's what I want"
- "That's what I want"|- "That's what I want"
"That's what I want|Hey, yeah"
- "I want some money"|- "That's what I want"
- "That's what I want"|- "Hey, yeah"
"That's what I want"
- "Money"|- "That's what I want"
- "That's what I want"|- "Ow, hey"
- Ice cream! Turn around, Henry.|- Oh, right on.
"I need some money, baby|I need some money"
"I just need a few"
- Hey, thanks a lot for the great watch.|- You're welcome.
- Hey, this guy, uh...|What is it? Mclntyre?|- Macintosh.
Uh, Macintosh.|Yeah, yeah.
If you don't mind me askin',|where does he get his money?
Well, he doesn't get it,|he just has it.
Why does he get a kid like you to go out|and buy all this stuff for him?
He... He never|had a real childhood.
So now that he's|really, really rich,
he can have all the fun|that he couldn't have when he was a kid.
- Oh. Oh, I see.|- You know.
So he didn't have any|fun when he was a kid,
but now he's old|and he's got money.
You're a kid having|the fun for him now...
that he couldn't have|when he was a kid.
- Okay, sure.|- Stop! Pull over, Henry! It's Shay!
- Stop! Hey!|- [Shay Screams] You scared me!
- Sorry.|- Preston, right?
- You've got a good memory.|- Thanks.
- Great, kid. Very nice.|- Nice wheels.
Oh, this? Ah, it's my boss,|Mr Macintosh.
- Do you want a ride?|- No, thanks. I'm outta shape.
Not from where|I'm sittin' you aren't.
So, uh, I'm thinkin' about|comin' into the bank tomorrow...
- and opening my account.|- Wow, you got the $200 already?
- Just about.|- All right. Well, see you tomorrow.
- Bye.|- Bye.
Was that him?|Was that Biderman?
- No, some kid who came|into the bank today.|- Nice wheels for a kid.
Yeah. Says it belongs to his boss,|a guy named Macintosh.
Macintosh.|When are we gonna see Biderman?
[Man]|It looks like a circus.
Hey. Hey, hey, move it.|I've got work to do too, you know.
Where am I supposed to go?|You see an opening? Huh?
Hey, what's|the holdup here?
- Yeah, same to you, buddy.|- Hey, move it!
What is all this?
What a mess.
This is absolute madness!
Yo, who's in charge here?
[Preston Over Speaker] You with|the race car, put it in the backyard.
Uh, the water slide|goes back by the pool.
You guys with the TVs,|put them in the living room.
Hey, you with the Cadillac,|out by the pool.
You in the green jumpsuits,|bring that around the back.
- Preston?|- Hi, Dad.
- What's going on here?|- Movin' in.
- Who is moving in?|- Macintosh.
- Who's Macintosh?|- I'll be right with you, Dad.
Come on, boys.|I don't have all day.
Okay, Mr Waters,|the security system is all in place.
Excuse me.|This is the remote.
Here are the instructions.|All right?
We appreciate Mr Macintosh's business.|Here you go, pal.
What's with|all the security?
Mr Macintosh says you can|never be too paranoid, Dad.
- Well, who is Macintosh?|- I work for him. He's paying me.
Yeah, but who is he?|I never met him.
- You mean you haven't met him?|- No, I haven't met him.
- He's heard about you.|- Really?
Yeah, about work and stuff.|Really good things.
- Well... His stuff is|blocking our driveway.|- Dad.
Boys!
Could you clear a path,|please?
Get a move on it!
All set, Dad.
"I knew a guy who was tough|but sweet"
[Henry]|Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
"He's the one|He can't be beat"
"He's got everything|that I desire"
- "Sets the summer sun on fire"|- Brake, brake!
"I want candy"
- "I want candy"|- Flip, flip, flip, flip, flip!
- "Yeah"|- [Game] Body blow. Uppercut.
- Body blow. Left hook.|Uppercut. Body blow.|- Ow.
- Uppercut.|- Come on, come on, come on,|come on, come on!
Body blow.|Ten, nine...
- "I want candy"|- Yeah! Yes!
"I want candy"
"Go to see him|when the sun goes down"
- Come on, Henry! Come on!|- "Ain't no finer boy in town"
- Hey! Whoa!|- "I want candy"
- Oh, Henry!|- "I want candy"
- The blood rushed to my head.|- "Hey"
"Hey"
"Hey"
"Hey, hey"
[Woman]|Is something wrong?
No. I was wondering who could spend|cash like that these days.
Oh, yeah.|The man's name is Macintosh.
- Macintosh?|- Mm-hmm. He just moved here.
- Apparently loaded.|- Apparently.
I don't feel good about being here.|People may get the wrong idea.
Really?|You don't feel good?
How do you think I felt when you|gave away my million dollars, huh?
Juice. See anybody|that looks like him?
Oh, yeah. He looks like him.|Uh, she looks like him right there.
Way back over there,|uh, there goes his little twin brother.
You give me one picture and expect me|to find him out of all these kids?
You must be crazy. I'm gonna get on|the water slide. I'm startin' to sweat.
Hey, mister, you know|where the refreshment stands are?
- [Pops Balloon]|- No.
[Girl Crying]
Boom, boom, boom!|I got you!
Boom, boom,|boom, boom!
[Electronic Gunfire]
- [Butch Whimpering]|- He says he knows you, boss.
Oh, well, just throw him out.
[Screaming]|Ow! Ow!
- Banzai!|- "I want candy"
- [Preston Screaming]|- "I want candy"
"Hey"
"Hey"
- "Hey"|- Hiya.
I didn't expect|to see you here.
- Oh, what you doin' here?|- I came by to see Mr Macintosh.
- Oh, no, he's in a meeting.|- That's okay, I'll wait.|I just really need to see him.
- He's in meetings all day.|- All day?
- Swamped.|- Hey, I missed you at the bank.
I thought you were gonna come by|and see me about opening up an account.
- Oh, I had to work.|- Wow. This is where you work?
- Not too shabby.|- Comfortable.|- I brought an application.
- Do you still want to open up|an account with me?|- Yeah.
- Okay. Do you have your deposit?|- I'll go get it.
Okay. Great.
[Preston Screaming]
- Whoa!|- That's amazing!
Sorry, just printed it.
Two hundred dollars. Looks like|you fell into some money, huh?
- I make a living.|- Yeah, well, I guess Mr Macintosh...
He knows a good man|when he sees one.
- Will he be opening|up an account with us?|- Uh, maybe.
Yeah? Great. You know, I'd love|to meet him. How's tonight?
- Uh, tonight. What's tonight?|- Tonight's Wednesday.
Wednesday.
Wednesday.|I'm sorry, he's busy.
- Too bad.|- Uh, but I'm not.
Oh, I handle|all his financial affairs.
- You do?|- Not all of them,
but I can tell you a lot about him,|sort of like a pre-meeting.
- And he wouldn't mind?|- Hasn't complained yet.
Okay. I'll come by|around 8:00.
Okay. Wait, I could|send a car for you.
Okay. Cool.|It's a date then. Bye-bye.
A date?
A date?
I've never been on a date.
You know what they call me|downtown? The Babe-Meister.
Think about it.
Okay, I'm gonna tell you about|the real deal on dating, which I know.
First of all, women love a great body.|They love... Look at this bod.
- Whoa. See?|- Yeah, yeah.
Of course, you've got a bod now that's|of a Greek god. Really. Think about it.
Women like you to have|a good bod because they want|to feel they're protected.
You might have to fight some guy,|you know? But not with those arms.
You don't want to hit a guy with|those arms 'cause those pythons|would take a guy's head off.
Seriously. You're buff, but we're|gonna get you chiseled.
Okay? Oh, wait.|Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm having a vision|here of a date.
- The perfect date for you guys.|- Uh, Steak Heaven!
Ho, ho! My little friend, you really|have the hots for this one, huh?
You know, if you really|want to go upscale,
that all-you-can-eat salad bar...|women love that.
And take some with you. You know,|line your pockets with plastic bags.
Put the food in there. 'Cause|it doesn't say "All you can eat here."
Does it say "here" on the sign?|I don't think so.
So you take something back for later.|A little snackaroo.
Oh, women love that. You get home|and you got a pocketful of hot wings.
There's nothing more|that impresses a woman.
Get yourself some flowers.|Get yourself a great body,
some nice hair,|some good clothes, a car,
and learn to say words|like "noncommittal."
You are a date|and a half, pal.
"There he is|Some Tiny Tim"
"There he is|Six foot and risin'"
"Ooh, there he is|He's a knockout machine"
- "He's number one He's double cool"|- Yeah!
"He's the naked truth|in magazines"
- "I believe in him"|- "Wonderman"
- "He is a Mr Wonderman"|- "Wonderman"
"He is a Mr Wonderman"
"Ah, yes"
- "Wonderman"|- Ew.
- "Wonderman"|- One more! Yes, yes, yes!
Ah!
[Preston]|Hey, I'm gonna get you!
[Henry] You are little sushi man.|Sushi man down. Big boy throw.
Then they chase around. Come around|other way, fall down. Splat.
- [Preston Screaming]|- " Here comes the wonderman|He'd like to say bye-bye"
- Why are you dressed|like a game show host?|- I'm going out tonight.
Just a minute, young man.|You're still grounded.
- But it's for Mr Macintosh.|- I don't care.
Macintosh may have a pile of|money, but he doesn't decide...
when my son|is or isn't grounded.
- But it's for my job.|- Your job is to be grounded.
- [Both] Grounded.|- So much for Plan 442.
What do you know|about Plan 442?
Well, it's the investment plan you've|been working on, your "prespectus."
Prospectus. What are you doing|going through my work?
Well, I didn't want to say it,|but I told Mr Macintosh...
about your Plan 442, and he was|very, very interested.
Yep, I promised him I'd bring a copy|of it tonight and show it to him.
But I didn't want to tell you just|in case you got your hopes all up and...
No, no, no, no, no,|of course not.
Let me get you a fresh copy|of the "prespectus."
- I'll get a copy of it, sweetheart.|- Prospectus.
Yeah.
- Here. You're welcome.|- Oh, thank you.
Hurry up. Go. Go!|You want the car keys?
Nah, that's okay, Dad.
I don't drive yet.
- [Dad] You want me to drive you?|- [Preston] No, it's okay.
You know, I still haven't met Macintosh.|Maybe I should go over and...
- No! You'll ruin everything.|- Why not?
He has a date tonight|and he's very nervous about it.
- I guess I can see him|first thing in the morning.|- Oh, I don't know, Dad.
I mean, he might be up|pretty late with this woman.
[Chuckles]|Lucky dog.
Later, toads.
- [Groaning]|- Thank you. That's enough.
- Oh!|- Sorry.
I can't believe Mr Macintosh went|to all this trouble.
- This place is great.|- Mr Macintosh has been|eating here for years.
Oh, yeah? I thought|he just moved here.
There was a Tangerino|where I used to live.
Oh.
[Gargling]
Compliments of the chef|for Mr Waters...
and his lovely guest.
Th-They look|like lobsters,
only weenie.
Oh.
Mr Macintosh wanted you|to have this too.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, wow.
This is beautiful. Oh.
But I can't|accept this from you.
But it's from Mr Macintosh.
- Why?|- Just a little business gift.
I mean, it's deductible,|isn't it?
I'm not really sure,|but it's way too expensive.
Mr Macintosh has|a million dollars.
A million dollars doesn't buy|all that much these days.
Do you think he should have|asked for more?
What exactly|does he do anyway?
Oh, a little of this,|a little of that.
- You know.|- No, I'm afraid I don't.
- Oh, well...|- Is he an entrepreneur?
No, he's American.|Very secretive.
He has some questions|for you too.
Okay.|Shoot.
- "Are you married?"|- No.
"What's the shortest guy|you ever dated?"
Mmm. I'm not really sure.
- "The youngest?"|- You know,
these are pretty|personal questions.
Well, Mr Macintosh|is very interested in you.
- He is?|- He's, uh, never met|anybody like you before.
He's never met me before,|period.
Technically no, but he's been thinking|a lot about you lately.
- He has?|- Yep. Whoa!
Preston!|Are you okay?
- [Screaming]|- [Gasps]
Do you like hamburgers?
I love hamburgers.
Never saw this kid|before in my life.
This is a waste of time.|Come on.
What's so special|about this place?
- You'll see.|- Mmm, come on. Tell me.
- Okay.|- You gonna tell me?
- Come with me.|- All right.
- Where are you taking me?|- You'll see.
- See what?|- Okay, get in the middle.
- Okay, ready? Five, four, three,|- Here?
Two, one.
[Shay Laughing]|Holy smokes!
Okay! Okay, now,|come here, Shay!
- Okay, okay, now!|- Preston, I don't believe this!
Okay, now,|let's run around!
- Don't get wet!|- Get us out!
Run!|[Screams]
- Okay, okay, okay!|- Watch out!
- No, we're gonna get soaked!|- No, no, no. Now come...
Come around here!|Come around here! Come on!
- Okay, hold onto me.|- [Screaming] Hey, where are you?
[Screaming]|Yeah! Yes!
- Whoo, yeah!|- Preston!
[Clapping, Cheering]
This is a great idea, Biderman.|Where's all the kids, huh?
Carl, it's late at night.
All the little boys and girls|are tucked in bed. What do you expect?
What I expect is when I give|someone a million dollars,|and I come back a day later,
I find the million dollars.|That's what I expect.
- Carl, I'm not a magician.|- You can make it disappear,
- you just can't get it back, right?|- I'm telling you...
If y'all want a kid so bad,|there go one over there.
[Biderman]|That's the little boy from the bank!
Shh.
Shh.
- [Preston Screams]|- Go get him!
- Oh, I'll race ya to the limo!|I'll race ya to the limo!|- What? Okay, I'll race ya!
[Shouting]
[Screaming]
- I got the door for ya!|- Open the door. It's freezing!
Go, Henry!|Go, Henry, go!
- [Henry] Here we go!|- [Groaning]
He got away again! I don't|believe this! He got away again!
[Screaming]
[Shay]|This was the most fun.
- I haven't done anything like|this since I was a little kid.|- Me neither.
Thank you so much.
When can I see you again?
Well, I really have to spend|some time with my job right now.
Well, uh,|I'm having a party.
On Friday.
Can you come?
It's for Mr Macintosh.
Um, it could be|for your business, sort of.
Mr Macintosh will|really be there?
Uh-huh.|It's his birthday.
Okay.|Well, great.
It's a date then.
Oh, I'm getting out|up here.
It was really fun.
And, uh,
- I had such a good time.|- Me too.
- Good night, Preston.|- Good night, Shay.
- See you later.|- Bye-bye.
- Good night, ma'am. Bye now.|It's been a pleasure.|- Thank you.
[Henry]|So you're having a party Friday?
[Preston] Oh, yeah,|it's Mr Macintosh's birthday.
Oh, I thought you said|it was your birthday Friday.
Well, we're gonna have|a joint party for the both of us.
Oh. Well, it's a good thing|it worked out your birthdays|are around the same time.
Hey, you wanna move that horse? Come|on. What is this, Bonanza? Let's go!
Well, here we are.|Home at last.
- Thanks, Henry.|- My pleasure.
Hey! Preston Waters!
- Good night.|- You know what you got, pal?
- What?|- S-T-Y-L-E.
- Style. Good night, Henry.|- Style. Good night.
Take it easy, man.|Good night.
Macintosh and I are having|the biggest birthday party ever.
- Honey, where's Preston?|- He's working for Macintosh.
Oh. Where's|Damien and Ralph?
They're working|for Macintosh too.
Oh.
- Have you met Macintosh?|- No, I thought you met him.
- No, I haven't met him.|- Well, I haven't met him either.
[Machine Humming]
Keep 'em comin'. Mr Macintosh wants me|to get plenty of practise.
[Screams]|Watch where you're hittin' those!
Quit messin' around.|Macintosh is watching.
Where? We've still|never seen him.
Just get back to work.|He's watching.
- " [Loud Rock]|- [Man]... coming out of the garage.
Ruining the neighbourhood.
"[Continues]
[Shooting Noises]
[Henry]|Hey, Preston!
Your party planner's|here again.
[Woman]|Piston! Piston! Piston!
Turn off this contraption.|I have wonderful news.
Mr Macintosh's birthday is going|to be the event of the century.
We gonna make|the front page from coast to coast.
Oh, we are so lucky,|lucky, lucky!
Now what kind of food|does Mr Macintosh like?
- I don't know.|- And who are his friends?
- Do you have a guest list?|- Uh, I don't think so.
You know, dewdrop, I think|I should meet him because...
I'm gonna need|a little cash deposit.
Oh. Uh, here.|Let me get you some cash.
Ooh, yes, you do|have money, don't you?
- Wait, wait, wait.|- Careful walking around with|this much money, darling.
Somebody could just|rip you right off.
Now, this first $10,000|is going to be the deposit.
Now, of course, I'll get|the balance at the party,
and Mr Macintosh|is good for it?
I am just so looking forward|to meeting him.
- Who isn't?|- Waiters, security,
- guest list, paparazzi...|- Oh, and Yvonne?
- Yes?|- Remember, it's Preston.
Whatever!
Hey, uh, hey, Henry.
[Grunting, Laughing] It's attack|of the 50-foot chauffeur from hell!
I was just wondering if you|wanted to play some video games.
Oh, man, I wish you'd|have said something.
I can't. I promised some friends|I was gonna meet 'em in a while.
Oh, okay.|No problem.
I'll tell you what. I'll drop you over|at one of your friend's place...
on the way over, and you|can have some fun there.
Nah. Maybe I'll go to the park.
All right. It's up to you.|Hey, Preston,
- is my tie straight?|- Well, it looks perfect.
All right.|Later.
- Over here.|- Over here!
There it is.|That's the park up ahead.
Where did all these kids|come from?
Keep driving and maybe|someday I'll tell you.
- How could you hit a kid?|- I didn't hit a kid.|I ran over his bicycle.
I had a dog once|that got hit by a train.
- Thanks for sharing, Juice.|- Old King Cole we called him.
- He was a merry old soul.|- It's him.
- Boy with the backpack.|- Go! Go! Go!
- The sign says "No Cars Allowed"!|- Just drive!
Quigley!
- You're gonna pay for this!|- Just drive!
- Carl, this isn't a good idea.|- Shut up! Whoa!
Let go, man.|What's goin' on?
- Oooh!|- Oooh!
- I'm gonna get him.|- We're gonna tear him up!
- Reach over there and get him!|- Your butt is mine, kid!
I've been wantin'|this little punk.
I own you!|I own you, kid!
Come here!|He's got my money!
Aaaah!
- Follow him on foot! Go!|- Follow him on foot?
- Do I look like a bloodhound,|a professional tracker?|- Juicy, listen.
If we don't get that kid,|nobody gets paid.
[Groaning]
- I want cash benefits,|dental, everything.|- Not a problem.
Insurance!|Here, kiddie, kiddie!
Oh, there you go. Come here, boy.|I'm gonna get you now.
I've been lookin' for you!
Huh? Oh, no.
There he goes.|Yes. Come here, boy!
I'm gonna get you now!|Aaaah!
Don't believe this!|Kill that kid when I find him.|I'm not gettin' paid for this.
- Where are we going now?|My hands are over my eyes.|- Shut up!
- Get out...|- [Screaming]
There he is!|Stick with it! I got ya!
[Juice]|I'll get you!
Hang on, hang on.
- Okay, there he is!|- Come here! Come here!
- Juice! Run after him.|- You must be crazy. You run after him.
- Just ran through|this whole entire park.|- Fine, get in the car.
- [Coughing]|- Don't blow chunks in my car.|I just had it detailed.
- I'm cool!|- Are you sure? Are you sure?
- I'm not gonna mess up|your priceless detail.|- Come on.
- [Retching]|- Hey!
[Boy]|Wow, what's this?
- Let's go!|- After him!
- Hey, dude!|- [Juice] Move outta the way.
Sorry!
- Get 'im!|- Your butt is mine!
I want this kid...|What are you doing?
- Yeah!|- No! Carl, watch out!
[Juice]|Oh, no!
Whoa!
- Aah! No!|- Oh, man!
Yes!
Now that's a display|of fine driving right there.
You know, Carl, it might be easier|just to steal another million dollars.
Hello, Mr Jackson.
Well, well, well, if it|isn't the world's youngest|personal injury attorney.
You know, you're in a lot|of trouble today, little man.
Yeah, 'cause today|I have been drinking vodka.
- Take a hike, butt-brain.|- What?
- Take a...|- Never mind, never mind.|Never mind, never mind!
[Chattering]
[Yvonne] Antoine, get that truck thing|off the stage. Thank you!
Get those golden gloves off!|Thank you!
Love, love, love, love!|What do you think?
Ta-da! Is this|to die, or what?
Uh, yeah, sure,|it's, uh, to die.
I can't wait to show it|to Mr Macintosh.
Come on, honey, let's see|what they did with that...
"Is it to die for or what?"|[Laughing]
Where did you find her?|Oh, man.
- What does this cost?|- I don't know.
- What do you think it should cost?|- Lots, lots.
Kid, why don't you just tell me what|I need to know. I'm a good guy.
Okay, how good are you|going to be to me?
In round numbers.
I don't think you get|the picture, sonny.
- Maybe you need a better view.|- [Screaming]
[Screaming] Preston Waters,|1508 Oak Street, Hillsdale, Indiana!
- Thank you.|- [Crying]
- You all right?|- Aaah! Aaah!
- Is something wrong?|- No, not at all.
- Is Mr Macintosh around?|- Uh, no.
- But he will be here tonight?|- Yeah.
- In person?|- In person.
- Okay. I'll see you tonight?|- Okay.
Okay. You're looking good.|Bye.
- I'll be calling.|- What a babe.
Baby brother|comes into his own.
For a little weasel, he sure knows|how to get a girlfriend.
- Too bad he picked a fortune hunter.|- Little love pilot...
shot down in flames|by a gold digger.
By a what?
Gold digger, someone|who is only after money. I know women,
and that one is after|Macintosh's cold, hard cash.
For your information,|me and Shay already went on a date...
and she had one|fantastic time, boys.
Oh, yes, every second|she was getting closer...
- and closer to Mr Macintosh.|- [Laughing]
- Shut up!|- Just answer me this.
Did she ever, ever just once,|come by without saying,
"Meanwhile, I wonder if|I could see Mr Macintosh?"
She's a gold digger, man.|She just wants Macintosh's money.
- Yeah! Ow!|- Don't rub it. Be a man.
- Don't rub it.|- I'll rub it if I want to.
- She wants a guy with money, not some|little kid with an empty piggy bank.|- Yeah.
"Well, I'll wait by the windows|I'll wait by the door"
"To make sure|you don't come home"
- You ever known any gold diggers?|- Man, have I.
I hate 'em.|They're the worst.
Anybody who is your friend because you|have money is not your friend at all.
You know what|they say about gold?
"He who has the gold|makes the rules"?
No, no, no.|"A fool and his gold are soon parted."
What does that mean?
"A fool and his gold are soon parted."|Those old sayings, man,
I don't get 'em. I don't even|know really what that means.
You ever heard:|"More than one way to skin a cat"?
Who skins cats?|Why would you skin a cat?
And there is not more than one way|to skin a cat. There is only one way.
You grab the cat,|you rip the skin off the cat.
What is the number two way?|You put a hose up the cat's butt?
He gets so bloated|that he skins himself?
Does he have a piece|of Velcro under his butt? No.
"Kill two birds with one stone."|You heard that one?
You know anyone who has even|killed one bird with one stone?
Kids try it all the time.|You can't hit a bird with a stone.
Unless you got a huge stone|and they're tiny baby birds.
Then... [lmitating Crash]|Beep, beep! Dead.
[Sighing]|"A fool and his gold are soon parted."
I guess it means|that if you're a fool,
your gold or your money|is soon gone.
Once it's gone, it is|outta there. It is history.
It is dust. It is vapour. It is no more.|You are living in Brokesville.
- Unless you have|Macintosh's kind of money.|- What if you don't?
I guess then you find out|who your real friends are.
Man, we look good.
- Is everybody having a good time?|- [Woman Laughing]
- Good, you are.|- "Yes, we are, darling."|Wow, look at the balloons.
- This is great.|Look at the ice sculpture.|- Presents!
Hey, hey, hey, kid, no touching.|Those are Mr Macintosh's.
Go find your parents.|Go on, get outta here.
Go on!
- I just want to see Mr Macintosh.|- I just want to pig out.
[Chuckling]|Hey, look at that.
Excuse me.
- Sorry!|- Exactly who are you looking for,|Preston?
- Have you seen Shay?|- I haven't seen her,|but she'll be around.
Come on... Oh, man,|look at all this food!
Macintosh doesn't show,|we bring the kid in, agreed?
If Preston says Macintosh is gonna|be there, Macintosh will be there.
But you don't make a move, until|I give you the signal, understood?
We got eight men ready to go in|and nail him the second he shows up!
We close this deal tonight!
Where's the pizza and the ice cream?|What's going on here?
This could have been a pizza before|it got run over by a couple of trucks.
Oh, that looks tasty. Looks like|something you'd find between your toes.
Ah, ah, ah!|It's sucking the life outta me!
- Shut up! Everybody's looking.|- So what? Who cares?
Relax, have a good time. She'll show up.|Oh, there's Shay now. Ha!
Just kidding. I was kidding ya!|Would you just relax?
She'll be here. It's not at all|what you thought it'd be like?
Hate being rich, huh?|Preston? Preston?
Ice cream, ice cream.
Yoo-hoo, Preston!
Now, where is our mystery man?|It's time for Mr Macintosh|to make his appearance.
I like to give my employers|their bills directly.
That way if they have any questions|or heart attacks or something...
- I'll give it to him.|- Fine.
Be quick about it.
$100,000?
Sweetheart, I know this seems|like a whole lot of money to|normal people like me and you,
but to a man like Macintosh|this is just pennies.
- Now, you get up there|and get me my money!|- Ow! I'll get your money.
[Computer Beeping]
Party: $100,000.
Not a problem.|You can leave it.
This is fine.|I'll be right back. Thank you.
[Computer]|Transaction not possible.
Insufficient funds.
Current balance: $332.17.
- Transaction not possible.|- Three hundred dollars?
- Insufficient funds.|Transaction not possible.|- Oh, no!
- No, please, God.|- Insufficient funds.
This can't be right.
One, two, three, four...
[Chattering]
It's gone.|It's all gone.
[Knocking]
Mr Macintosh?|Oh, sorry to bother you.
It's Fred Waters,|Preston's dad.
I know you got a bash going on here,|so I'll make it brief.
But, uh,
I wanted to ask you|a favour.
You see, today is Preston's|birthday and if you see him,
if you could send him home|a little early.
Lately he's been|working so hard.
All of a sudden money's|become so important to him.
I guess that's|mostly my fault.
You don't have kids,|do you, Mr Macintosh?
I'll tell you, it's very easy|to make mistakes with them.
I haven't always paid enough|attention to my kids.
I pushed them|too hard... maybe.
Especially Preston.
I guess I expect|more from him.
He reminds me of myself at that age.|I couldn't wait to grow up.
I'm afraid he's missing out|on his childhood.
So am I.
Well, thanks. I won't take up|any more of your time.
And we appreciate you|sending Preston home early.
If... If he wants to come,|that is.
- [Whispering] I want to come home.|- Thanks.
Dad. Dad?
Dad?
Dad! Dad!
Dad!
Dad, wait!
Daddy! Henry?
Henry! Wait a minute,|where's Henry?
Your driver?|He left a little while ago.
H-He left?|You sure it was Henry?
Big guy, white limo.
He's gone.
Thanks.
Now I know|who my friends are.
Excuse me. Sorry.
- [Door Opening]|- [Shay] Preston?
Mr Macintosh?
- Mr Macintosh?|- It's just me.
- Which one of us did you want?|- I was looking for you.
- Oh, good.|- And Mr Macintosh.
Look, it's very, very important|that I find Mr Macintosh right now.
- Do you understand?|- He's nowhere.
- He's gone.|I think you'd better leave too.|- Preston...
- you could be in danger.|- Just go, okay?
You got your necklace.|Just take it and leave.
"Give it back|There's no time to lose"
"So give it back|Give it back"
Riggs? Riggs?|Riggs?
Looks like|no one's home.
- Shut up, Wienerman.|- Biderman.
- Where is he?|- I don't know, but he might be|down the street...
at Mr Macintosh's,|that's his boss.
- Macintosh. Come on!|- [Whimpering]
You know, I do like|what they have done with this colour.
There you are, puppy-butt.|Did you get me my money?
- Uh, Macintosh has disappeared.|- What?
Now, I am warning you, Tom Thumb,|don't you trifle with me.
If I don't get paid,|I will sue Mr Macintosh...
for every dime|he is worth!
Well, be sure and tell me|when you find him.
Okay, little Mr Man,|this party is over!
Quiet! Stop that playing! Stop that|music! Quiet! Attention! Attention!
Everybody,|this party is over!
Our host...|can't pay his bills!
- Mr Macintosh is a fraud!|- [Woman] What?
[Crowd Murmuring]|Who's that kid?
She's right.|Hate to tell you this,
but there's been|a terrible mistake.
Nobody s-should|have been invited.
Macintosh is... is gone.
And he's not coming back.
So I think you should|all leave too, so go. Go on.
Close down the bar!|Come on, let's get outta here.
Come on, Antoine.|Move it!
Come on, move it!
Come back with those glasses!|Give me that!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
[Knocking]
Henry?
Henry!|I knew you'd come back!
Henry...|[Gasping]
Happy birthday.|I'm here to blow out your candles.
- Oh! Let me go!|- What's your hurry, kid?|Got a big cheque to cash?
- Let me go!|- I like this pad.|What do you think, Juice?
Oh, yeah, I like the pad.|It looks real nice.
- Can you handle it? Got the TV, drums.|- Oh, I like this.
- TV, drums.|- All kinds of toys.
- He's got a little taste,|a little flavour.|- What's this thing here?
- I don't think|I've seen one of those before.|- How do you work this?
Well, you turn the knob...
You really shouldn't let him|in such a nice house as this.
All your stuff|could get broken.
Kid, where's Macintosh?
N-Nowhere.
He's nowhere.|I'm going to ask you one more time.
Where is he?|Huh!
There is no Macintosh.
- I made him up.|It was me the whole time.|- Don't give me that.
- Who bought this house?|- I-I did.
You? You outbid me?
Wait a minute. You tryin' to tell me|that this little boy here...
outbid you|with your own money?
Be a fly on the wall,|okay, Juice?
Listen, kid, you know it's illegal|to take things that don't belong to you.
I know. I feel awful.|Take me to the police.
- Carl, don't do it. It's a trick.|- Get outta here.
Son, I don't want to take you|to the police. Just tell me, okay?
Where's my money?
I-I spent it.
- All of it?|- All of it.
How could you spend...
a million dollars|in six days?
You must not have been|shopping lately.
Carl, Carl,|wait a minute.
Maybe we're thinking about|this Macintosh thing in the wrong way.
- What are you talking about?|- You needed a new house,|a new identity.
This kid,|he's done it for you.
I mean, Macintosh|could run for mayor here.
Yeah, I kind of like the idea of that...|Mayor Quigley.
No, no, Mayor Macintosh.|I like it.
Look, there's only one problem|with that. The... Aaah!
- Hey!|- Come back here!
- Wait for me! I'm coming!|- He's upstairs, man!
Break it down!|Break it down!
There he is!
- Where is he? Where is he?|- He went down there!
- Juice, go after him!|- I ain't goin' down there.
- Go on! Now!|- You're crazy. I ain't goin' down there.
- Watch your head.|- What is it, about 230... Whoa!
- Aaah!|- I'm not goin' in there.
- Oh, no, he didn't.|- Did you see him?
- Oh, no, you did|just push me in the pool!|- Get out, we gotta find him!
What?
What happened?
Act like you got|a purpose in life. Go.
[Biderman]|I think I'm experiencing chest pains.
[Indistinct Noise]
Carl? Juice?
Huh? Oh.
Little boy?|Little boy from the bank?
Ha, ha.
Oh!|[Groaning, Grunting]
Where am I?|Oh-oh!
Ooh! Ooh!|Ooh! Ooh!
[Sheep Bleating, Cow Mooing]
[Muttering]
[Rooster Crowing]
- Hey, hey!|- [Cow Mooing]
Got ya! Uh-huh!
- Hey!|- Got him.
It's time for|a little batting practise.
Here we go!
Hey! What's happening?|Whoa! Hey!
Just outside.|Let's try a sinker. A sinker!
Another! Another!|Let's try a screwball!
- Turn, turn, turn!|- Be cool! Ow!
Hey! Ho!|Come on, boy!
Screwball! Boom!
Whoa! Oooh!
- That must have hurt!|- My god!
Fastball, fastball!|Just inside!
- Oooh! Ow!|- What's next, Juice?|How about tennis?
It's over, kid.|Ow! Ow!
Preston, come out, come out,|wherever you are.
None of this would have|happened, you know,
if you hadn't been|a bad boy!
Tell me something, did you think|you were going to get away with it?
Spending somebody else's|hard-earned money? Huh!
We need to have a chat.
Preston...|I'm not mad any more.
I know you're sorry.
Come on, buddy.
Pres?|Come on out now!
Banzai!
Quigley, I'll be back|in a minute.
Don't leave me here...|Oh, where am I goin'?
- Whoa! Kid!|- Don't you move.
Juice! Biderman!|Get your useless butt over here!
[Motor Revving,|Tyres Screeching]
Whoa! Oh! Oh!|Kid! Kid!
What are you doin'?|Oh! Oh!
Kid, kid, stop,|please, please! Stop!
Oh!|[Groaning]
Kid, please!|Don't do that!
Ooooh!|[Screaming]
Quigley?|Are you okay?
Aaah! I got you now!|Come get him!
I got him now. Come get him, you guys.|All right, hold him.
- Baseballs!|- You're not a very nice boy,|you know that?
- Freeze!|- Preston, are you okay?
What's this all about?|What's happening here?
Stanley?|What are you doing here?
- Let go!|- As of this moment,|you're fired from my bank!
F.B.I., Biderman. From this moment,|you're fired from your bank.
- What?|- You're with the F.B.I.?
- Yes, Preston, I am.|- Okay, kid, finally,|at long last, who's Macintosh?
Uh, uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh,
uh, uh...
- I'm Macintosh.|- You're Macintosh?
I'm Macintosh! And I want you all|off my property now!
- He's Macintosh.|- You sure?
I tell ya, I'm Macintosh!|Please tell these guys I'm Macintosh.
- Oh, he's Macintosh.|Don't you know Papa Macintosh?|- Mr Macintosh.
And Big Mama Macintosh|be hangin' out with the brothers.
Mr Macintosh, you're under arrest for|fraud, money laundering and grand theft.
- What are you talking about?|- Bring in Biderman too.
- I'm a banker!|- And take Mr Wise Guy too.
- Who? Me? I'm not wise.|- Get your hands off me.
- Man, I flunked recess.|- Take it easy, man.
- Take 'em out.|- I'm not even from here, man.|- I'm a banker.
- I was roaming down the street.|Cat said, Hey, there's a party.|- I own a bank!
Sir, stay behind the line there.|Everyone, just calm down, okay?
Honey, I'm gonna check this out,|make sure that Preston's okay.
- You take the boys home.|- [Chattering]
- What's going on?|- Something to do with Macintosh.|The F.B.I. Is all over.
- Uh, have you seen my son,|a little boy?|- He's inside with the F.B.I.
- Excuse me, excuse me,|please. Officer...|- Whoa, whoa!
- Nobody gets in there|without a badge, sir.|- I'm looking for my son.
Kind of neat.|Can I see your badge?
Shay Stanley,|F.B.I.
Cool.
Wait a minute.|So that means our date...
was just for your...|just for your job?
Well, it started out|like that.
I should have known.
Hey, you know, I wouldn't|have traded that night for anything.
So when can|I see you again, Shay?
Mmm, why don't you give me a call|in, say, about ten years?
- Five.|- Seven.
- Six.|- Okay, it's a date.
Good night, Preston.
[Dad]|Preston!
Preston?|Oh, my god, he's in shock.
Oh, oh, I'm fine, Dad. I'm fine now.|Oh, I'm glad to see you.
- What's going on here?|- It's a long story.
- Well, why don't we go on home,|you tell me all about it?|- Okay.
I want to say goodbye|to a friend, okay, Dad?
Wow, this is just great. I can't|step out for a couple of seconds.
I miss all the action.|Thanks.
- Are you okay?|- I thought you left, man.
No, I didn't leave. What did we say|the party needed? Ice cream, right?
I just went to get ice cream.|I don't know if I got the exact recipe,
but I think I got it close.
- So?|- Hey, it's pretty close.
Well, I guess Macintosh|is no more, huh?
It's too bad, because, uh,|I really enjoyed working for him.
- I had a good time too...|- Do me a favour?
Next time you see him,
tell him, uh,|that I'm really gonna miss him.
I'll miss you too, Henry.
You're gonna do|just fine.
See ya.
- Hey, Henry.|- Huh?
- Know what you have?|- What?
- S-T-Y-L-E, style.|- Style.
Hey, Preston, you're not gonna|finish this ice cream, I guess, huh?
Well, no sense|lettin' this go to waste.
So, what happened?
Oh, well, uh,|Macintosh wasn't...
He... He wasn't|who he thought he was.
- How do you mean?|- Well, he shouldn't|have done what he did.
He shouldn't have|fooled everybody.
I think you're right.
It's been a long night.|Better get on up to bed.
Yeah, I think I ought|to get some sleep too, Dad.
And tomorrow, I'll tell you|all about Mr Macintosh.
Sleep well, Preston.
[Group]|Ta-da!
"Happy birthday to you"
"Happy birthday|dear Preston"
"Happy birthday to you"
Make a wish.
You know what they say,|"Be careful what you wish for."
Oh.
What else do I want?|I mean, I got everything...
that I need right here.
On the other hand.
"I'll wait just|a little more time"
"Just a little more time"
"To move in a new direction"
"I'll wait just|a little more time"
"'Til you make up your mind"
"You know that|you're needin' me too, yeah"
"Why now are you feeling|so scared"
"And unwilling to be there"
"When someone's|there for you"
"Why time has|to be so unkind"
"For no reason|but love has no measure"
"This is true"
"Oh, well, I know what|I feel inside"
"I trust in love|and what my heart tells me"
"Haven't I been good|the way I should"
"I'm willing, I'm able|I need you to give me a sign"
"Now, I'll wait just|a little more time"
- "Just a little more time"|- "Just a little more"
"To move in a new direction"
"I'll wait just|a little more time"
"'Til you make up|your mind"
"I know what|you're feeling is true"
- "I'll wait"|- "I'll wait"
- "Yes, I'll wait"|- "I'll wait"
"Just a little more time|baby"
- "New directions"|- "I'll wait"
"Just a little more time|'til you make up your mind"
"I know that|you're needing me too"
"Baby"
"Yeah, haven't I been|good to you"
"The way I said|I would be"
"Why are you|leaving me now"
"Well, I know what|I feel inside"
"I trust in love and what|my heart's been telling me"
"Haven't I been good|the way I should"
"I'm willing, I'm able|I need you to give me a sign"
- " I'll wait|- "Just a little more time"
- "Just a little more time"|- "Just a little more"
- "To move in a new direction"|- "I'll wait"
"Just a little more time|'til you make up your mind"
"I know that|you're needin' me too"
- "I'll wait"|- "I'll wait"
- "Yes, I'll wait"|- "I'll wait"
- "I'll wait"|- "I'll wait"
- "Yes, I'll wait"|- "I'll wait"
"I'll wait just|a little more time"