Blonde Crazy (1931) Movie Script

# who cares for starlit skies? #
# when you're alone #
# the magic moonlight dies #
# at the break of dawn #
# there is no sunlight #
# when your lover has gone #
# what lonely hours #
# the evening #
Uh, show this young lady
to the housekeeper's room,
Although I think the
position's been filled.
Step this way, please.
I came to get the linen job.
I hope the clerk is wrong.
You ever see a hotel
clerk that was right?
Hotel clerks and house detectives.
Now, what do you want?
Just a smile.
Come on, let's have it.
Ha ha. That a baby.
Mrs. Snyder, the girl you hired
For the linen job is here.
I told her to report tomorrow morning.
She wants to get acquainted
with the job on her own time.
Well, I never met one like that before.
Uh, miss Jones,
This is Mrs. Snyder, whom you talked to
Over the phone this morning.
How do you do?
So you're the ambitious kind, huh?
Ever done hotel work before?
Sure. The Julian Dubuque,
the Blackstone in Chicago...
How do you know so much
about where she worked?
Why, uh, Jimmie, her...
Her boyfriend told me.
Oh, I see.
Well, uh, you won't need me anymore...
Right now.
I'll be seeing you.
Call for Mr. Franklin!
Say, that dame's a pip. Who is she?
Call for Mr. Franklin!
Listen, Jim,
Your girlfriend got the
linen job, didn't she?
Yeah. What about it?
Well, uh, I hear she can't come to work.
No? Why not?
Somebody else got the linen job instead.
What do you mean? Mamie was hired.
Yeah, I know,
But they needed somebody
with more experience.
Well, I'm going upstairs
and see old lady Snyder.
She's not going to get
away with that stuff.
This new girl needs the work.
So does Mamie.
I'm going up there and raise a...
Wait a minute.
Just tell Mamie that one
of the old girls came back.
You can do it.
Did you get it?
All set, if I want the job.
What do you mean, if you want it?
I don't want it bad enough
taken away from somebody else.
Whenever you take a job, you
take it away from somebody.
Well, it's all over my head.
This miss Jones business
and somebody's sweetie.
What's your name?
Anne Roberts.
Listen, Anne the girl that got the job
Is a friend of one of the bellhops.
Everything's fixed.
What do you mean, fixed?
She didn't want the job very bad anyhow.
They're going to get
married in a couple of weeks.
When are you coming to work?
In the morning. Got your aprons?
No, but I'm going to buy a couple.
I'll get them for you.
Won't cost you a cent.
Mm-hmm. Call me Albert for short.
Goodbye, Bertie.
And let me tell you
something about this place.
I've been here six months, and I know.
For the love of Mike,
Stay away from those bellhops.
They can't do a girlie any good,
And the worst monkey of them all
Is that guy Bert Harris.
He's dynamite.
Everybody in this joint owes him money
From those crooked dice of his.
Well, he can't do me any harm.
I haven't any money,
and I don't shoot craps.
Oh, yeah?
Well, maybe you have
something else he can use.
I'm telling you
He's a good guy to stay away from.
He peddles booze and...
Hello? Yes, sir, right away.
610 wants some fresh towels.
610? I thought they
were painting up there.
I guess they're finished.
Oh, it's you.
Mm-hmm, body and soul.
I never did like bright lights.
Look, honey, I got some
hooch and sandwiches
And stuff for us.
It's nice and quiet here.
Not a chance of anybody finding us.
I knew you'd come.
That's a fine way to treat a fellow
After he gets you your job.
Hello. Give me the linen room.
Hello, Peggy?
How about giving little
Bertie a big break?
I'm up in 610.
You mean you want me to come right up?
Sure. I'm waiting for you, honey.
Everything's all set. Can you come up?
Sure can. I'll fly up, big boy.
Come in.
Good evening.
Kind of hot tonight. Too hot.
Shall I do your bed?
Kind of early, isn't it?
Not if you're going to bed.
A bed doesn't mean much
to a fellow like me.
Just a place to rest my head.
What a treat for the bed.
Yeah. Say, how about
a little nip together,
Just you and me, huh?
Why just you and me? How
about your other friend,
The little fellow over
there in the green sweater?
Hello! Give me the housekeeper.
This is a. Rupert Johnson Jr.,
Room 334.
Need more towels at once,
And send that same girl back here.
Send the bellboy up
with ginger ale and ice.
I heard you yelling
clear down the corridor.
Here are your towels.
What makes you so
hard to get along with?
Mugs like you.
I can be real nice to the right one.
Really? And I suppose the right one's
The first one that comes along.
You know, I'm mighty lonesome myself,
And you impress me as
being lonesome, too.
Yeah? Well, you got
the wrong impression.
Well, let's be friends anyway.
Say, will you do me a favor?
I've got a new line of merchandise.
I'd like to see what you think of it.
Come on. Look at it.
A woman is always a
better judge of jewelry
Than a man is,
Especially a pretty woman.
Here's a dandy.
Here, let's see how this looks on you.
These look mighty nice on you.
You know, they just match your teeth.
Gee, you look swell.
Hey, cut that out!
Oh! Oh! Now look what you did!
Those are expensive.
Ohh! Ohh!
Hiya, Mrs. Dempsey.
How's that right cross today?
Aw, come on, honey,
Don't put on the chill that way.
I sized you up wrong yesterday.
I didn't mean to get you sore.
I like you, Anne, really.
You know, you're the first girl
That ever socked me for going for her.
Yes? Mm-hmm.
You know, honey,
I'd like to have you sock
me like that every day.
Oh, would you?
Sure, honey, I'd love it.
Ha ha.
What a woman.
Took you long enough to get here, kid.
I had to pick out the big chunks of ice.
What's the name of that
blonde making up the beds?
I don't know her that well, sir.
I didn't think you did.
You don't look too smart.
Everybody says I'm very
bright for my age, sir.
I can't get anywhere talking to you.
Maybe you'd be surprised.
What's that?
Have a drink?
Never touch the stuff
while I'm on the job.
Besides, I never drink
anything but my own.
Here, you might try this.
Not bad.
Say, that's pretty good.
That's what everybody says.
That chambermaid you asked about
Likes it so well she
won't touch any other.
She's my best customer.
You sell that stuff?
Can't afford to make a gift of it.
How much? $10.
That's high, isn't it?
Not if the blond chambermaid likes it.
The name's Bert.
Hello, babe.
I've got something for you.
Here's the 5 bucks I owe you.
For what? You don't owe me anything,
Unless it's an apology for bothering me.
It's a commission on the
booze I sold that mug in 334.
He bought it when I
told him you liked it.
After all I told you,
You went and fell for
this shrimp's line,
You dirty little tramp.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Whoo hoo hoo hoo!
Ah ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha. It hurts... ha ha ha!
It hurts me more than
it does you, honey.
"Answers advertisement,
"invests $25,000, charges fraud.
"'Get rich quick' scheme works again.
Prince of swindlers
makes gigantic haul. "
Say, what is this,
Taking a correspondence
course in salesmanship?
Nothing else.
Super-high pressure and deluxe.
Going on the road?
Uh-huh. Won't be long now,
and I'll take you along.
Not as a sideline, you won't.
Well, I think you and I can
make a lot of money together.
Then what?
We blow this joint and make
a play for the big city.
You sound like Santa
Claus in wolf's clothing.
Honey, I'm Santa Claus, Robin hood,
And the goose that laid
the golden egg all in one.
Pretty big package, aren't you?
Seriously, there's a lot
of loose money lying around
If you know where to look for it.
The world owes me a living.
I'm not built for work.
That's for horses
And smack-offs like
that 4-eyed room clerk.
Now, you've got beauty
and a swell figure.
With my ideas and your looks,
we could trim the world.
And end up in the penitentiary.
Not with what I have on the ball.
Now, listen, honey, here's the idea.
The age of chivalry has passed.
This, honey, is the age of chiseler.
And the age of jails.
Everybody's got larceny in his heart.
Everybody's looking for
something for nothing.
Honest men are scarcer
than feathers on a frog.
But I've never been mixed
up in a racket before.
As I said, there are two things
I haven't any use for,
and jail is both of them.
You play ball with me, and
your worrying days will be over.
Yeah? How about the nights?
Well, I'll see what I can
do about those, too, honey.
Sorry to disturb your little party.
Oh, we were just going,
so it's alright anyway.
Not alright with me.
Parking without lights
is pretty serious.
A lot of accidents these days.
Oh, tell him to take that horrid light
Out of my eyes.
The... the lady objects
to your flashlight.
Oh, she does, does she?
Maybe she can't stand close inspection.
resent that.
Alright, alright,
Come on, the both of you, get out.
Now, look, here, can't
you and me get together?
What do you mean, get together?
What's this?
Aw, just forget all about it.
Go on, get yourself a smoke.
Come on, lady, you get out of there.
Listen, partner...
There's nothing to listen to.
Oh, I see.
This is a nice mess.
What's your husband going to say
When he finds out about
this, Mrs. Lawler? Ha.
Oh, he's a friend of my husband.
Why, I didn't know you were married.
Well, you know it now.
Well, come on.
No use standing here.
In the car and we'll get going.
Well, wh-where to?
I can't go there.
Neither can I. I've got a wife.
Why, I didn't know you were married.
Well, you know it now.
Come on, snap into it.
I ain't got all night.
Hiya, Mr. Johnson!
No, parking.
Hello, Pete.
Hiya, kid.
Mr. Johnson here is a friend of mine.
So's the young lady a friend of his.
Who is it?
Why, it's Anne Lawler.
This is news.
What have you got them on?
Plenty. Parking without
lights on a county highway,
Possession and transportation of liquor,
Bribing an officer of the law...
That's a lie.
Well, we won't stop to argue that.
Go on, get back in your car.
It looks pretty bad, Mr. Johnson.
Hey, Bert, can't you do something?
My name, my reputation, the newspapers.
I don't know.
This guy's a tough mug.
Listen, I know this guy pretty well.
You want me to see
what I can do about him?
Sure, and stop at nothing.
I'll be ruined if this gets out.
Wait a minute.
Hank certainly looked like a real cop.
Why not?
If he can't impersonate
John law, nobody can.
He's been pinched often enough.
Here you are, honey...
$2,500 for you and $2,500 for me,
With the compliments of room 334.
What's the matter, baby?
Come on, snap out of it.
We ought to be celebrating this touch.
Here you're acting like
this. Pick up your end.
I can't take the money,
Bert. You keep it.
Oh, no, no, take it.
It's yours, partner. 50/50.
I'm awfully tired.
I think I'll turn in.
That's not a bad idea.
Uh, you can sleep in the lower,
And I'll take the upper.
You don't mind, do you?
I was in such a hurry
When I bought the tickets,
I just got one compartment.
I figured you'd be in a hurry
when you bought the tickets,
So I bought a berth in the next car.
You don't mind, do you?
I'm sure you'll sleep better that way.
Oh, I mustn't go
without letting you know
How much I care for you, Bert, dear.
And this, commissioner,
is our local larceny Lane,
Where money's made
easily and lost quickly.
Take a look at the house detective
Giving us the once-over.
You look, babe. I
haven't got my glasses.
Where did the horse come in?
Come in? He's still running.
I laughed till I thought I'd die.
I'd give a million to
have seen that chap's face.
You should've seen his expression
When I told him I still had his letters.
My motto is... speak all
languages and write none.
Swell-dressed parade of
parasites, aren't they?
Worse than all the gangsters
and hoodlums put together.
# dream of Spanish castles #
# it smacks of real love #
# a Spanish castle #
# I've got a rhyme
for a Spanish castle #
Better sit over here, Bert.
You're blocking traffic.
# eyes of blue, LA LA LA Lee #
# red lips, too, #
# LA LA LA Lee #
Anybody who doesn't like this
should have his head examined.
I'd like it better if there
was some money coming in.
Don't worry about a thing, honey.
Everything'll be super.
$5,000 can't last forever.
We've spent almost $1,000 already.
The chump's wad is still intact.
All we spent is what I saved.
We'll get set, baby.
It's making the right
connections takes the time.
See that guy? He's in the rackets.
I've seen him hanging around the hotel.
He's doing better than alright.
Look what he's pushing around.
She is attractive.
That's the best part of
being in the big dough.
You can canvass the field and
have all the dames you can use.
Is that your ambition?
Well, no, not exactly, but, uh,
You can't blame me for
looking around, honey.
You won't give me a tumble.
You know why?
I can't imagine.
Well, I could go for you.
Sometimes I think I even want to.
You're nice. You're not a collar ad,
But you're not bad-looking either.
But just when I get set to fall,
You spoil everything.
What do you mean?
Love doesn't mean anything in your life.
You think you can turn it on and off
By pushing a button like you do a light.
You worship nothing but dough.
No, you're not my type, Bert.
You got started on the wrong foot.
Little Nell is not going to
be just another in your life.
I say you're wrong. Maybe
someday you'll find out.
I may not know much about making love,
But one thing I do know.
I've wanted you since
the first day I saw you,
But if I can't have you,
I'll have somebody else.
We're getting too serious. Let's dance.
Hey, I told you once
before to cut that out.
Yeah, because I don't like it.
Is that so? Yeah.
Well, kid,
I want to thank you for fronting for me.
Oh, that's alright.
I don't like guys who swing chairs.
I'm Dan barker. This is miss Wilson.
How do you do? How do you do?
I'm Bert Harris. Miss Roberts.
I've seen you around
the hotel, haven't I?
Oh, I hold open house now and then, yes.
Do you two live here?
No, just me. Miss Roberts
lives at the embassy.
Oh, do you? I live around
the corner at the Wellington.
Really? Then we're almost neighbors.
Mm-hmm. Well, uh, how
about finishing this dance?
Well, if I can dance
with you, Mr. Harris,
I'll feel perfectly safe.
Keep the home fires burning.
The minute I saw you, Bert,
I knew you were one of the boys.
I don't like to play with
strangers, but you look alright.
You can depend on me.
Things are tough now. Same everywhere.
I'm working a new deal.
It's out of my usual
line, but a buck is a buck.
Keeps the wolf away.
Exactly. The only
reason I'm talking to you
Is you've got an honest
face and clean hands,
And that's very important.
You ever been mugged, uh, arrested?
No, never took a fall.
How much dough can you raise?
Well, I got about $2,500. I said dough.
That's nothing but coffee and money.
That's all I've got.
Well, how much can you promote?
I don't know.
The more you come up with,
the more you can make.
Money goes to money.
Yeah, I know that...
If all you can promote
is a couple of grand,
Forget it.
Make off like I never talked to you.
Wait a minute.
Maybe I could get as
much again from Anne.
Who's that, your sweetheart?
No, my partner.
Well, alright.
You meet me in the lobby,
say, uh, at 1:00 tomorrow,
And I'll show you a couple of angles
That will blow your hat off.
Alright, 1:00.
38. Number 38.
Yes, I know, but...
Now, will you stop worrying about Dan?
Dan's a nice guy,
And I don't want to be
making a chump out of him.
Oh, forget it. We have an understanding.
He has his friends, and I have mine.
Ha ha. How nice for you.
I wonder what happened
to Bert and Helen?
Oh, there they are.
Where have you been?
We've been looking all over for you.
Mm, I'll bet you're all tired out.
It's been a nice evening,
Dan, thanks to you.
It's been a pleasure, Bert.
Oh, wait a minute.
Good evening.
A package of merits. Yes, sir.
Oh, I'm sorry. I haven't got
anything lower than a $20 bill.
That's alright.
You can't annoy me with money, any kind.
Thank you.
Well, that's that. We'll be going home.
Good night, kid. See you tomorrow.
Good night, Dan. You've
been a wonderful host.
The next party's on me.
Yeah. Good night, little girl.
Good night. I've had a
very pleasant evening.
Good night, Bert.
Good night, Helen.
Good night.
Ha ha. Are you going my way?
This suit of armor's worse
than that bellhop's outfit.
Bert, I don't like that
fellow. Nope, I can't use him.
You've got to get used
to him and get to like him
You're going to see a lot of
him in the next few months.
We're going to do a
little work together.
That racket of his sounds like a darb.
Why, I didn't see any racket.
Dumbbell. Didn't you see
every time he bought anything
He paid for it with a $20 bill?
He pulled it just now
at the cigar counter.
Well, what of it?
Not bad, huh?
I wouldn't like it if it was good.
I don't like him.
I know what's bothering you.
You're burned up by that blond dame.
Why should I be jealous
of a bleached-out bag?
Of all the conceited
apes, you take the cake.
That's one of the million
reasons I'd never go for you.
I wish you could get
it in your thick skull
That I'm not at all interested
in your lady friends.
No? Well, we're going in with
Dan whether you like it or not.
This is business. It's
not a beauty contest.
Oh, you make me sick.
You mean that blonde makes you sick.
Ha ha ha.
Where are you, honey?
Anne, are you there?
Is it alright for me to come in?
Hey, what do you mean
crashing in like that?
Can't you see I'm taking a bath?
Yeah? Move over.
Anne, this is important.
I just came from the bank,
and the cashier handed over
4 good 50s for 10 of those phony 20s.
That's how good they
are. Looks great to me.
Mm-hmm, only my $2,500 isn't enough.
Dan barker does things on a large scale,
And I need at least $5,000.
Well, count me out.
Well, we're still partners, ain't we?
I made money for you
before, and I can again.
You can double your money in 24 hours.
Come on, baby, what do you say?
It don't sound good,
But if I don't give you the money,
You'll probably steal it, so take it.
Where is it?
In my brassiere.
Where? In my brassiere.
You got pockets in that?
I've taken money out of
a lot of funny places,
But never anything
like this before, honey.
I hate to break in on you like this.
That's alright.
Did you get the money?
I got the 5 grand.
What's all the excitement?
Now, here's what happened.
Kansas City Dutch...
That's the guy I get these 20s
from, is blowing town tonight.
The cops are on his tail. I
got the call. We got an hour.
Here's $10,000 of mine.
Put it with your $5,000.
I want you to do a little bargaining.
Dutch wants to rid of as
much green as possible,
But he's never done business with you,
You ought to get 3 for
1 instead of 2 for 1.
Don't take no for an answer. But why me?
I'd do the talking,
Only Dutch would figure I
was a chiseler and fold up.
Now, here... Here's the idea.
You just give him the $15,000
And insist on $45,000.
Do you get it? Nothing less.
$25,000, $30,000,
$35,000, $40,000, $45,000.
There you are.
If the cops wasn't so hard on me,
And I could stay around town,
You'd get $30,000 or nothing.
A lot of luck, Dutch.
When are you coming back?
Next month, if I keep out of the can.
I'll get in touch.
Hope you get into some
real money by then.
You can't keep a good man down.
You bet.
Well, be seeing you.
Put it in the grip. We'll
divide it at the hotel.
It sure looks good.
I can't tell it from the real McCoy.
Nobody else could, either.
You'd better keep it tonight.
No use me carrying that kind
of money around the streets.
Who's that?
I don't know.
Put it in here.
Who's there?
It's me... Helen.
What's been keeping you?
Don't I ever get tired of waiting?
But I was just leaving, sweetheart.
Come on, have a nightcap with me.
No, thanks.
All I need to fall asleep is a bed.
I'm dead.
Come on, Dan, don't be so inconsiderate.
Okay, I'm blowing, Bert.
Get yourself some rest, and tomorrow
We'll have one grand
day laying the green.
I'm itching to start.
Where is Anne tonight?
Oh, out with some other guy.
2-timing you, eh?
No, we're not that way.
We're just partners.
As for me, I'm very much in circulation.
That's good news.
Maybe I can get rid of Dan some night
And we can go out together alone.
Don't get caught.
Lock this door and
sleep with one eye open.
Chances are I won't be
able to sleep at all.
I can understand that.
See you in the A.M.
Good night.
Good night.
I never saw anyone so
stupid in all my life.
Ha ha. The poor chump.
You know, all smartened up
from that goofy scrapbook.
He thought that real money
you sold him was counterfeit.
Yeah, he said it looked perfect.
He couldn't tell it from the real stuff.
What a mug.
A sap.
Miss Roberts, please.
Hello, Anne? It's Bert.
Listen, honey, I won't
be able to see you today.
Something came up that's
going to tie me up.
Is anything the matter?
Of course not. Don't worry
about a thing, will you?
Alright. If you've still
got the money, hang on to it.
Sure. I've got the money
in my pocket right now.
Yeah. Okay.
Miss Kennedy. Call for miss Kennedy.
Call for miss Kennedy.
Call for miss Kennedy.
Miss Kennedy. Call for miss Kennedy.
How do you do? How do you do?
I'm Mr. Alexander Porter's secretary.
I want a diamond bracelet.
Mr. Porter just announced
his daughter's engagement,
You know?
Yes, I read about it.
Step this way, please?
Show this gentleman some bracelets.
This young man will wait on you.
Thank you. Pardon me.
What did you have in mind?
Anything in particular?
Mm, no.
Uh, let me see these.
How much is this one?
This is very nice. I'll take this one.
That is, pending Mr. Porter's approval.
Would you mind sending
it to his residence,
1516 Lake Shore drive, immediately,
And charge it to his account?
Thank you very much.
I shall have it sent within the hour.
May I have your card, please?
Thank you so much, Mr. Roland.
Thank you.
Package for Mr. Porter from Gorman & co.
Will you sign, please?
Very good.
Thank you.
Hello, is this the residence
Of Alexander Porter?
Yes. This is the Porter residence.
This is the Gorman
jewelry establishment.
Through an unfortunate
error, a package intended
For another of our patrons
was delivered at your house.
The package is right here, sir.
Our Mr. Roland will
call for it immediately.
r-o-I-a-n-d. Yes.
Would you mind giving it
to him when he arrives?
Yes, sir. Mr. Roland.
I will expect him, sir.
Oh, thanks so much. Thank you.
So, uh, I'm Mr. Roland
of the Gorman company.
Oh, Mr. Roland,
Your manager telephoned
me to expect you.
One moment, please.
Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.
It's nice. Maybe it's too nice.
What'll I do with it?
That stuff is hard to sell.
Give it to your wife
for a Christmas present.
Listen, 3 balls, I want $5,000,
And I want it in a hurry.
It's worth $20,000. Don't
give me any back talk.
Well, don't get excited.
We can talk it over.
I don't want any talk. I want
5 grand, and I want it now.
Alright, I'll... I'll buy it.
My, but you're a tough guy.
Not tough, just mercenary.
Dan didn't take me, but he tried
to, and that's what burns me up.
How much did we lose?
Not a dime. I got all
our original dough back.
That's a break.
What's a break?
Listen, I don't invest
money just to get it back.
Dan promised me a profit,
and a profit I'll get.
What's that got to do
with this trip to New York?
Nothing, except that
Dan barker, the rat,
Is headed that way himself.
You didn't have much time
To say goodbye to that blonde, did you?
Isn't that too bad?
Oh, Bert, sometimes you act like a kid.
You lie, and you pout,
and you won't give in.
Who's lying?
You are. That's alright.
I'll pretend to believe you, Skippy.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's alright.
Oh, what's the matter?
Something in your eye?
A cinder, I guess.
May I take it out? Would you?
Now look up. Keep still.
There it is.
It's not very big, is it?
No, just a little fellow.
Do you feel better?
Yes, thanks.
My name is Reynolds, Joe Reynolds.
And mine's Anne Roberts.
I'm afraid our
etiquette's a bit reversed.
I guess Emily post wouldn't approve
Of looking into a lady's eyes
before being introduced to her.
Maybe Emily post couldn't
appreciate such eyes as yours.
But seriously, have you
anything to wash them with,
Some antiseptic or something?
No, but they must have on the train.
I'll ask the Porter.
I have boric acid in my
bag. I'm in the next car.
You talk like a physician.
How do you feel now?
Much better, thank you.
Do you do much traveling?
Yes. My firm is a member of
the New York stock exchange,
As well as that of Chicago and Boston.
This will be my first
visit east in several years.
Here comes my partner.
Bert, I'd like you to meet
Mr. Reynolds. Mr. Harris.
How do you do? How do you do?
Something flew in my eye,
And Mr. Reynolds was
kind enough to remove it.
Lucky I wasn't there. You'd
probably be minus an eye.
Partners are unfair.
Because I have two eyes,
Mr. Harris would expect
me to give him one.
I must bathe my eye. Thank you again.
I hope you'll give me the
chance of seeing you in New York.
Shan't we see each other on the train?
How about breakfast?
Swell. Splendid.
I'm delighted to have met you, sir.
Oh, uh, the pleasure's mutual.
Little girl like 'em nice mans?
I think I could prime
that chump for a take.
He looks like ready money.
Is that all you ever think
of, Bert... swindling somebody?
Why don't you take them one at a time?
Yesterday you were going to
follow Dan around the world.
Now you've forgotten all about it.
I haven't forgotten anything.
Only why shouldn't we take Reynolds?
He isn't any better
than anybody else, is he?
Maybe he is. I sort of like him.
As long as I do, you lay off.
There are plenty others.
This is the first time
I've ever seen you weaken.
He must work fast.
He does.
You should take a few lessons.
Aw, nuts.
It's tough nowadays.
Sometimes I think I'll go legit.
You couldn't. Trick
laws and shyster lawyers
Won't let a guy go straight.
Say, who's the dame over there?
Miss Roberts.
How are you, Mr. barker?
May I sit down?
Please do.
I ate at that table.
Bring me the check, will you,
and a fresh pot of coffee?
Yes, sir.
Am I taking you from someone?
That mug's just out of the big house.
More solitary won't hurt him.
You're sure looking great.
Say, whatever happened
with that young squirt?
Bert was his name, wasn't it?
You were never meant
for a chump like that.
Did he ever tell you how we took him
In that fake counterfeiting gag?
Ha ha. He fell for that
hook, line, and sinker.
I took him for 5 grand,
And the payoff was the note
that Helen left for him...
"paste this in your scrapbook.
Love and kisses, Helen. "
Ha ha.
Ha ha.
Where is Helen?
I sent her back where I got her from.
Have her on a 30-day free trial?
Exactly, and all she cost
me was the down payment.
What are you doing these days?
I got a brand-new racket.
Hello, honey. Hello, baby.
Ready to eat?
Sure. I'll put on my hat.
You sit down and rest
your hands and face.
Not really.
"To Anne. This book so suitable. Joe. "
You never told me.
"No shade encroaching
on the matchless mould
"of those two lips, which
should be opening soft
"in the pure profile,
"not as when she laughs"... Ha ha!
"For that spoils all.
But, rather as if aloft
"yon hyacinth she loves
so, leaned its staff's
"burden of honey-colored buds to kiss
And capture 'twixt the
lips apart for this. "
Now, honey, I ask you,
Is this the kind of hooey
that guy Reynolds hands out?
Why, I think it's lovely.
He may be a poet to you,
he's just a peasant to me.
Let's get out of here.
I'm starved. I could
eat the hip off a horse.
Well, I'll go with you,
but I'm not very hungry.
I had a late luncheon.
Whose guest do you think I was?
Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
No, silly. You'd be very interested.
Oh, the high and mighty
Joe Reynolds, I suppose.
The poetry shark.
No, I saw Joe yesterday.
We had lunch together,
and I met his father.
Alright, alright. Who else, then?
Dan barker? Did you talk with him?
Why, certainly. I said
we had luncheon together.
Well, I bet he laid off me.
You're all we talked about.
He's living at the Saint Anthony.
He always stays at the best, doesn't he?
Let me get my hands on him,
he'll stay at the hospital.
What did he say about me?
Everything, and by the way,
I have a message for you...
Helen sends her love and kisses.
The dirty, yellow-bellied,
double-crossing burglars.
And you laughing at me with him!
A fine partner you are.
You'd make a swell pair, you two.
Now, wait a minute.
Aw, get away from me.
You're as wet as he is,
always rubbing things in.
Oh, you talk like a child.
Now, before we go any further,
Tell me how you got the
money we came here on.
I never had any
intention of telling you,
I stole a necklace from a jeweler
And sold it to a fence.
Stole it?
Stealing's not your racket.
Well, I didn't exactly steal it.
I pulled it neatly enough.
You can bank on that.
I was desperate. I had
to get your dough back.
But out-and-out thievery's
not your style, Bert.
The worst you ever did
was take from wise guys,
Cheat a lot of cheaters,
but this thing...
You might've been caught.
But I wasn't. You don't think
I was that clumsy, do you?
Bert, you're such a boy.
You'll never grow up.
Oh, I'm sorry I got
into this whole business.
At first, it was clever and shrewd,
But now that we've resorted to this,
I suppose next week you'll rob a bank.
Sounds like some of
Joe Reynolds' influence.
That guy gives me the cramps.
Well, I can't stop you, if you
want to turn yellow and quit.
This isn't some of Dan barker's work?
You haven't fallen
for his line, have you?
You're hurting me, Bert.
I'm sorry.
No, it's not Dan's work.
I'm not going to take a
run-out powder, either,
Not now, anyway.
I'm going to stick with you.
I'm going to even up the
score with Dan barker for you.
He took our dough,
and he's going to pay.
He made you resort to
common dirty thievery.
We'll make him resort to worse
than that before we finish.
That a baby.
You had me worried for a minute.
Come on, now, what are the plans?
Never mind.
You asked me before if I was hungry.
Well, come on, I've got an appetite now.
We'll split the hip of
that horse between us.
That gets it, baby.
You got a great idea, Anne.
I got to give you credit.
Believe me... this old
gent bellock's stuck on me.
He'll do anything I say.
I have to have somebody to work with,
And I like you, Dan.
You're my style.
And you were made to
order for me, honey.
If your man's as good as you say,
We'll take him for enough
to blow the country.
What time does he get in?
Usually early in the morning.
He stays at the Miranda.
Oh, fine. I got everything set.
It's our first job together.
We've gotta be on our toes.
I'll see who it is.
Hello, Mike.
Hello, Dan. Your car's ready.
Everything's ready. Let's be on our way.
I'll slip on a dress
make it snappy, honey.
I consider myself fortunate,
Getting to town before
this meet broke up.
You're right, colonel.
There's some great
horseflesh out here now.
This track is becoming
more important every year.
It certainly is. Not
a major stable missing.
And the management is perfect, I hear...
Void of fraud,
And no stigma of
unsportsmanship whatsoever.
Beyond criticism, colonel...
We're mighty proud of that.
As it should be.
The sport of kings should be respected.
Will you be ready soon, dear?
Just a minute, colonel.
I've got a run in my stocking.
How did you like the golf course?
Splendid, very sporty.
Anne and I played 18 holes this morning.
I'm very fond of this entire hotel.
Hurry, dear, we'll miss the first race.
Just a minute, colonel.
Oh, these women... I think
I've waited 1,000 years
for them in my time.
But they're worth it,
aren't they, colonel?
This one in particular.
Ha ha.
Looks as if we missed that first race.
And it's all my fault.
I kept you waiting.
Oh, that's alright.
Although I did have a horse picked
In that first race, a
sure winner, colonel.
I didn't have a chance
to look at the entries.
Oh, here, look them over.
Why not bet between yourselves?
You, Dan, pick a horse,
and you, colonel, book.
Not a bad idea
If the colonel wants to be a sucker.
Quite the contrary.
I'd consider it very sporting.
Well, it's a swell way to pass the time.
We're still a half-hour from the track.
Hello, Louie, who won
the first race today?
Some mighty good horses
in that first race.
Yes, and the track ought to be
In pretty good shape, too.
Captain's boy is my
choice at 2-to-1 odds.
How much do you want to bet?
Well, say $500?
Why not make it $1,000?
Shall Anne hold my money?
Surely, if you can trust
my sweet little friend.
Ha ha.
Who won the second race?
The second race.
Okay, okay.
Fine time to run out of gasoline.
Why don't you look out for these things?
I never knew the tank was near empty.
Hurry up, will you?
The races will be over
before we get there.
Well, I guess the
second race is on by now.
Say, do you want me
to keep book this time?
No, you bet. I'll be a real bookie.
And I've got plenty of
cash to pay off if I lose.
Okay, colonel.
What's your choice this time?
Well, this time I'll take high ball.
Sounds like a good thing
in these prohibition days.
Same amount?
No, let's make it $1,500 this time.
So if I lose the first
race I won't be out much.
Okay, here you are, little stakeholder.
Suppose we take the third race.
Betting this way is as
much fun as at the track.
Yeah. We've been delayed so much,
I suppose the third race is on now.
Well, I'll take a chance on Queenie.
I've taken a chance
on Queenies many times.
Stop now, colonel.
You're making me jealous.
Same amount... $1,500?
How'd you like to make
it really interesting?
How about $5,000? Can you cover it?
Sure I can. The sky is the limit.
Okay, colonel.
Well, there you are,
Anne. Hang on to that.
You'll probably be giving it back to me
In a little while.
You didn't pick a
winner in the whole lot.
I won all three bets.
Here you are, colonel.
You sure are lucky.
Oh, the boys at the
club will be knocked cold
When I tell them this.
Well, what the devil happened?
That chauffeur double-crossed me.
I'll cut his heart out.
Don't worry, Dan.
We'll take him before we leave town.
Hey, Mike.
$40, $60, $80, $100.
There you are, baldy... I
mean, colonel. You did swell.
I've got another $100 coming, ain't I?
Nothing doing. You did it so well,
You can do it again without our help.
You flatter me.
Here, Mike. That's worth
your trouble, isn't it?
You said it, baby.
You fellows lay low.
Dan barker is probably looking for you.
We're going to blow this burg right now.
Thank heavens that's over.
You have no idea how hard it
is to put up with getting pawed
By someone you don't care for.
Are you satisfied with our revenge?
Isn't that a darn sight more gratifying
Than just punching him in the nose?
With all this dough in my hands,
How can I say you're wrong?
Is money all you ever think of?
No, Anne.
Money is just a means to an end with me.
There's been a lot of
things I've wanted to do.
I wanna go to Europe.
I wanna mix with those swell
people, see those swell places.
You know, we could go together.
Here's your end of the take.
I suppose you'll want to buy
yourself a separate stateroom.
Listen, Anne, I'm nuts about you.
Simply because I don't
say it the usual way
And say the usual things doesn't
mean that I mean it any less.
It's not easy for me. Oh, I don't know.
I want you, that's all.
Anne, let's get married.
That's sweet of you, Bert.
I wish you'd said that long ago.
It's too late now, Bert.
I'm in love with somebody else.
If you had told it to me
like that six months ago,
It would've been different.
I wanted to hear you say it.
Why didn't you tell me then, Bert?
Who is it...
Yes, Bert... Reynolds.
I learned something
going around with him.
On those weekends with
his family and all that,
I met different kinds of people.
They're a whole lot different
from our friends, Bert.
They like music and art
and all that sort of thing.
Oh, I don't know.
It seems like a better
way to live, that's all,
So I'm going to quit all this.
I'm going to marry Joe.
I understand, Anne,
And you're perfectly right about me
And the kind of life I'm used to living.
You'd be in for an awful lot
of grief if ever you married me.
I'd be holding out or
pulling a fast one on you
Before the rice was out of your hair.
I suppose if I caught
the iceman hanging around,
I'd ask for a cut of his profits,
And as for the butcher...
Well, wouldn't I look
like a swell smack-off
In one of those aprons washing dishes?
I'd be a flop at this marriage business.
Now, if it was a racket,
Nothing could stop me.
Oh, well.
Congratulations, old gal.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
What is it the disappointed
suitor always says?
Oh, yes...
"name the first one after me. "
What is it... A wedding or a funeral?
Have a nice trip.
How did you like Europe, Bert?
Hmm... stinks.
I tell you, Bert, this deal is a honey.
No big touches, but the
money's there in the grind.
After a year's layoff,
it ought to come in handy.
Sounds alright, Jerry,
but I'm not interested.
I don't know what I want, kid.
It's the greatest thing in the world.
Did you ever see one?
They're good luck charms.
I hope it brings you luck, Jerry.
I don't know how you can pass it up.
I can get them made
up for 2 bucks a gross.
I got stenos that do
nothing but look up deaths
In the obituary columns
all over the country.
Then I send out a swastika charm
addressed to the dead guy...
C.O.D. $3.50.
The dead man's family
is so touched by the fact
That he sent away for a good-luck piece
Before kicking off, they keep
the charm, send me the dough.
$3.40 profit on each.
Not big dough, but what a
volume. Pretty, ain't it?
I can peddle more than 500 a week.
No, Jerry, I'm afraid
you can't drag me in.
I've been away so long
it all sounds strange.
Take a trip to China or somewhere?
You can't do yourself any
good here if you feel that way.
Maybe you're right.
Why don't you get married?
You got some bright ideas today, kid.
Wait here. I'll answer it.
Hello, Anne. Hello.
Come in.
How did you find out where I lived?
Well, I managed.
Sit down.
Well, little stranger,
How do you like married life?
Alright, I guess.
You don't look very happy.
I'm not.
You were a chump for passing me up.
I always told you I was
a bargain at any price.
I have something to tell you, Bert.
Something dreadful has happened.
It can't be as bad as that.
Let me buy you a drink.
No, thanks.
Bert, Joe has used
some of the firm's money
In a deal he thought
would make him a fortune.
That's been tried before. What happened?
It didn't work. He lost it all.
It's up to you to get him out of it.
This is the guy you held up to me
As respectable, straight, clean...
He and his father and
his books and his music?
And now you wake up and
find out he's an embezzler.
I've come to you for help, Bert.
You're the only person I know to ask.
I want you to loan me the money
So that Joe can make good
his losses to the firm.
The books are audited the 30th.
The day after tomorrow.
How much is involved?
Hmm. That's a lot of money.
I haven't got it, Anne.
I haven't turned a trick since you left.
I'm living on principle, and as you see,
The layout isn't so cheap here.
Well, I didn't know, Bert.
I thought you were still in the rackets.
I quit when you did.
I couldn't go on without
you. I lost my punch.
Where'd he get the money? From the firm.
In cash or did he juggle
his accounts or what?
No, he took negotiable
bonds from the vault.
He has his own key, and he knows
the combination of the safe.
He's trusted there. He's
been with them for years.
I see.
He's with Werder & Lawrence, isn't he?
Well, listen, Anne,
Tell Joe he can expect a
visit from me in the morning.
Have him take me to his own
private office when I get there.
What do you plan to do?
Never mind. Everything's
going to be alright.
Just tell him to expect me.
But, what'll you do? Wait a minute.
Our partnership was
dissolved a long time ago.
I don't have to tell you everything.
Go on home, Anne. Don't
worry about a thing.
Everything's going to be Jake.
Where's Mr. Reynolds' office?
First door to your left.
Thank you.
I didn't intend to steal the money.
I meant to return it.
It's the sort of thing that
could happen to anybody.
It's happened to lots of guys.
They're up in sing sing now.
Anne said you could help
me. I'll pay you back.
You won't lose anything.
I can't lose anything
Because I haven't got anything.
When you married Anne, I lost
the only thing I ever had.
Is there any more dough in this safe?
Yes. There are bonds going
in and out the whole time.
Just this...
If this place should
happen to be robbed tonight,
For instance, and the rest
of the securities stolen,
They would never know that your $30,000
Wasn't taken with the rest, would they?
Why, no, they wouldn't...
But that's robbery.
Hmm. That would be too bad.
Well, there's probably
$40,000 worth of bonds
In the safe now.
Any negotiable?
Well, no.
No, of course not.
You'd have grabbed those, too.
Look here, you... Shut up! Listen to me.
Give me the keys to this place
and the combination to the safe.
Go on home and forget you ever saw me.
Take Anne out somewhere
and be sure that you're seen
By a lot of people in
case you do need an alibi.
In the morning, they'll find the
place robbed and the safe open.
They'll pick $40,000 worth
of non-negotiable bonds
Lying in the alley.
They'll figure that the
thieves threw them there,
Keeping only the stuff
they could dispose of.
That's great. I don't
know how to thank you.
I'm not doing it for you,
it's for Anne, you smack-off.
Give me the keys.
Here's the combination to the safe.
You put it down.
Not taking any chances, are you?
Left 9-7.
Right 2-3.
That's him.
Stick them up.
Swing around there.
Alright, Joe, frisk him.
Follow that brown sedan.
You can only stay a few minutes.
Hello, Anne.
Hiya, honey.
Gee, it's swell to see you, Anne.
Oh, come on, come on, darling.
Don't take it so hard.
Things could be worse.
Oh, nothing could be worse.
What do you mean?
What's happened?
I just found out that
Joe double-crossed you.
Double-crossed me? How?
Oh, don't you understand?
That's why you're here.
He had the cops waiting for you.
You mean after all
we tried to do for him
He'd pull something like that?
Oh, it's impossible, Anne.
Nobody could be so low.
Oh, it's not impossible. It's true.
Oh, that dirty, double-crossing rat.
I'd like to get my hooks on
him. I'd tear him to pieces.
Oh, if I could only get out of here.
You're not going to take the blame.
I'm going to tell the district
attorney the whole story.
No, you mustn't. You'll
only put yourself in a spot.
I'm not thinking of
myself, Bert. It's you.
I got you into this mess.
I'm going to get you out.
Stay out of this, or
they'll find out about us.
I can't let you go to jail.
Anne, I'm in. You can't help me.
It'll just be my word against Joe's.
Oh, I've got to do something.
There's nothing you can do.
You don't owe me anything.
I got you started into the rackets.
Well, I'm not going to
let you take the blame.
I went into this thing with my eyes open
Because I loved you, Bert.
I always have,
But it's taken this
to make me realize it.
You mean that, Anne?
Of course I mean it, more
than anything in my life.
Your time is up. Come along.
Whatever happens, no matter what it is,
I'll be waiting.
If I had the wings of an angel, honey,
Over these prison walls I would fly.