Bloodbath at the House of Death (1984) Movie Script
1
Ow, shit! Fuck, ow.
No! No!
No!
Please, no!
No, don't hurt me! Not me! Don't hurt me!
Let me go!
Please don't hurt me!
I won't tell anyone, I swear!
I swear, only don't hurt me!
You know, you're really
a very attractive man.
You are. You really are.
You know, just, you and I, we could have
a really good good time together.
I know what you want.
You want these, don't you?
Hmm.
Oh, my God, did you say "to take away"?
Colin, get this lot out of here,
'cause I'm coming 'round.
I can't see what I'm doing here.
-Go on, get on with it.
-Right-o, guv.
Two-one-three-two.
Oscar delta two.
-Did you see that?
-What?
That road sign back there.
I think it said the B2067.
Did it?
I don't know. That's why I'm asking you.
Because if it did,
then we're on the wrong road again.
Oh, I wouldn't worry. We'll be all right.
We're supposed to be on the A5027.
We'll keep an eye out.
We'll see another sign.
Or we could even stop and ask somebody.
This is stupid.
It's not stupid at all.
We're dedicated scientists,
and there have been strange,
inexplicable radioactive readings
picked up in this area
which have been traced
to a particular house,
and we are on a secret government mission
with other scientists
to investigate this bizarre phenomenon.
It's as simple as that.
Yes, but right now,
-I'm trying to read this map.
I find this case enthralling.
-Have you read all the reports?
- Yes.
Well, if you had,
you'd know about the strange things
that have taken place
in that house years ago.
Do you realise that 18 people
were murdered there one night?
Coincidence. And anyway,
lightning never strikes twice.
Well, it did that night.
Two people were struck by lightning,
two throats were slit,
one was hung, two were axed,
four people were skewered in the same bed.
And a man watching simply blew up.
- What happened to the other six?
-What?
You said there were 18.
Oh, yes, yes, the other six.
They were found frozen to death
in the deep freeze,
all wrapped in cling film.
They'd been shot.
-Bullshit.
-What do you mean, bullshit?
Because it is, that's why.
I mean, so what if 18 people
were killed there in one night?
There could be any number
of logical explanations for that.
And anyway, it was years ago.
Are you sure this is the A5027?
Well, how should I know?
All these country roads look alike to me.
-Anyway, you've got the map.
-Have I?
Do you always drink like that?
My dear, we are but humble scientists
accidentally thrown together
in this macabre investigation.
I see no reason why my drinking habits
should be called in question.
Excuse me, I wonder if you could tell us
if we're on the right road.
We're looking for a place
called Headstone Manor.
I don't understand. Have I
Have I said something wrong?
-I don't un--
Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I--
-Thank you. Awfully sorry.
Eighteen people murdered in one night.
It certainly gives one
something to think about.
The work of a maniac, I'd say.
Wouldn't you?
Hmm, I'm not so sure.
What do you mean?
Well, how do you account
for the, uh, radioactivity readings?
What are you trying to say?
I'm trying to say there's something here
that doesn't smell quite right.
Yes, I know, I'm terribly sorry.
I'll open the window.
You see,
there were radioactivity readings
at the time of the murders,
and the killer was never found.
Plus the fact that 200 years ago,
a very similar incident
happened in that house.
Add all those things together,
and well, need I go on?
Yes.
- Well, it's obvious, isn't it?
-What is?
All the facts are there.
That's just it,
all the facts aren't there.
One can't assume these things.
That's the trouble with life today.
Too many people assume things
and then form opinions
wrongly based on false assumptions.
- You mean
-Precisely.
People always assume
because I'm not interested in football
or swilling beer
in the local pub every night,
and would rather stay at home
and run up a new pair of curtains,
I must therefore, in some way,
be less than a man.
My experience exactly.
-Why don't we just get out of here?
-No, not yet.
Have you noticed that strange mark
on the wall?
- Yes.
It's only an emblem of some sort.
What about it?
I'm sure I've seen it somewhere before.
Look at those men playing cards
over there.
Interesting.
What do you make of it?
Nothing.
Another pint of your regular, please,
Becky dear.
This isn't the bar. It's over there.
I'm sorry. I I'm thanking you.
Stay away from the house of death.
-I think this is it?
-What?
Look, look.
Are you talking about Headstone Manor?
Stay on the road, keep out the woods.
Which way did you say the bar was?
It's over there.
I'd be thanking you.
Eighteen in one night?
Hmm. God, that must've
put you off sex for life.
Not really. Life goes on.
You're one brave lady.
I suppose you had a psychiatrist.
Yes, one of them was a psychiatrist.
-You're kidding me?
-No, he was the last one.
And he made me tell about the other 17.
Oh, God, some people are disgusting.
Well, that's enough about me anyway.
Let's talk about you.
Well, there's not much to tell, really.
After a brilliant career at university,
I entered the field
of paranormal research.
And when they offered me the chance
to come to England
on this type of investigation,
I jumped at it.
No deep, dark secrets then?
Well
I'm not sure.
You see, I, uh
I suffer from a rare type of amnesia.
My brain works perfectly
in relation to my work,
and general everyday details,
even complex intellectual exercises,
but when it comes to my personal life
and relationships and feelings,
I just can't remember.
It all started when this mole
appeared on my arm.
I thought that was a birthmark.
You thought what was a birthmark?
But you can't blame the locals
for being suspicious, love.
I mean, we've had some strange things
happen around here.
-Yes.
-And all because of that house.
You know what happened up there,
don't you, love?
Only too well.
There were 18 people murdered.
Yes, yes, no, I do know actually
because he told me. Thank you.
-Two were struck by lightning.
-Yes.
Two throats were slit.
One hanged. Two had an axe in their head.
-Yes.
-Four people skewered in a bed.
-And six in the freezer.
-What?
Well, six were frozen, you see,
and, uh, wrapped in cling film.
No, no, love, not six,
'cause that would make 19.
No. Twelve and six are 18.
I know that, love,
but there were 13 without the freezer.
Look, we've got it wrong.
Let's count them.
-Look, um, two were struck by lightning.
-Right.
-Two throats were slit.
-That makes four.
-One hung and two axed.
-Hanged.
All right, hanged. And one blew up.
No, it was the four in the bed next.
-That's right, four skewered.
-And one blew up.
No, wait a minute.
We've counted him twice.
-Have we?
-No, you haven't.
No, I have-- Oh, yes, I have.
That was old Ralph
from down the road, you know.
No, no. No, it wasn't.
No, Ralph didn't blow up.
Ralph was in the freezer
with the other five.
Oh, that'd make sense 'cause there were
six in the freezer. I remember that.
No, Ralph wasn't one of them. He blew up.
'Cause I remember his missus said
she could only recognise him by his watch.
So wait a minute, where are we?
There were never five in the bed.
No, no, no, there were four in the bed.
Four in the bed.
Two struck by lightning.
Two struck by lightning.
Two throats were slit.
Two throats were slit.
-One hanged.
- One hanged.
-Another Bloody Mary, love?
-Yes, please.
-Um, one hanged.
-One hanged.
-One hanged.
-Yes.
There was one axed.
No, no, no, no, there were two axed.
Six were shot.
Two struck by lightning.
Two throats a-cutting
Four in a bed
One blew up, one was hanged
Two were axed
And six were frozen to death
-Time, gentlemen, please! Come on now!
Why couldn't you have done this
before they closed the pub?
Sorry, won't be long.
Will you hurry up?
-What is it? What is it?
- It's the barmaid!
The barmaid?
What's she doing in the bushes?
-She's dead.
-Dead?
Yes. Quick, let's get out of here.
I'll call the police from the house.
For heaven's sakes!
Hello, police, can I help you?
Ah, yes, I'd like to report a dead body.
Yes, sir, what type of a dead body?
Type?
Um, upside down with big chests.
What's that got to do with it?
I see, sir.
Where are you calling from?
Look, this is Dr Lukas Mandeville.
I'm calling from Headstone Manor--
Hello?
-Hello?
Chief Inspector Goule here,
can I help you?
Ah, yes, Chief Inspector,
uh, this is Dr Lukas Mandeville
from Headstone Manor.
-Are you still there?
- Yes, sir.
Ah, good. I'd like to report a dead body
in the woods next to the pub.
Yes, sir, hanging upside down
from a tree, is she?
That's right. Uh, how did you know?
-Don't worry sir. We'll find her alright.
You just leave it to us.
We'll be in touch.
First of all, I'd like to welcome you all
to Headstone Manor.
My name is Dr Lukas Mandeville,
and this is my assistant,
Dr Barbara Coyle.
I'm sorry we were a little late
getting here today,
but I'll I'll explain
all about that later.
I assume you've all introduced yourselves
having arrived on time,
-unlike Barbara and myself.
-Mm.
But for now, I'd just like to say
what a pleasure it is
to be associated with such a distinguished
international team of specialists
as yourselves.
-Right.
-Hear hear.
And I really look forward
to working with you all.
And I'm sure you agree
that given the scientific expertise
gathered together in this room,
and the equipment,
which I'm pleased to say,
is already assembled in installed.
I feel that we can put an end
once and for all
to the suspicious rumours
and the mumbo jumbo
that exists concerning this old house.
Oh, by the way,
there is just one little thing.
In fact, the reason why Dr Coyle and I
were a little late today,
-there's been a murder.
-Murder?
Murder?
But who is it? Who's been killed? Who?
Oh, no, there's nothing to worry about,
I assure you.
Oh, my God! This is the house of death!
No, no, no, no.
It's nothing to do with the house.
It's just the barmaid at the local pub
was found dangling upside down from a tree
with her throat cut.
Her throat cut? Oh, my God!
-This is terrible!
-Miss Finch, hey.
She's hysterical.
There's only one thing for it.
A slap in the face.
-You're right.
-Yes, that ought to do it.
Thank you very much.
I feel much better. Thank you.
What is this?
I don't know.
She just slapped me in the face.
No, no, not that.
This.
- What is it?
-Don't you see?
Oh, my God!
It's hideous.
Yes. They seem to be depicting
all the murders
that took place here many years ago.
But what does it mean?
It means someone is trying to scare us.
Someone or something
doesn't want us in this house.
-Why did you do that?
-I always do.
It has served its purpose, my dear,
and is of no further use.
I think it's stupid.
You think it is stupid?
You say that to me,
the arch disciple of Lucifer himself?
You are but a grain of sand,
a mere speck in the cosmos,
and you dare to venture an opinion
regarding the great design
of our master, Diablos Supremus?
To think that I,
the right hand of Beelzebub himself,
should be subjected to the opinions
of churrels and hubble-di-hoys.
Bow thy knee if you wish to even speak
in my presence.
Oh, piss off!
Piss off?
For 700 years,
I have served our master faithfully,
enduring the agonies of the undead,
the tortures of eternal servitude,
obeying his every command,
anticipating his every whim,
his slave, his servant,
never diverting from his purpose,
devoted to that cause
to which I have surrendered my mortality,
condemning myself to everlasting torment
in the presence of that great cause
to which we, the undead,
have all sworn our allegiance.
I, a humble butcher,
was chosen to lead us,
and to faithfully discharge
my duties in his service,
for all of the centuries
that we have dwelt in this place,
and you tell me to piss off?
You piss off.
Has he gone?
No such luck.
But the strangers are still in the house.
They've not been scared off.
What must we do?
The sacred house must be purged.
This was merely a prelude,
a testing of their nerve.
But they have chosen to defy us,
therefore they must pay the price.
The ceremony must take place.
The master returns tonight.
How shall we recognise him?
You'll know him when you see him, stupid.
Tonight is the night of blood-- Oh.
Oh, Christ, here we go again.
Who is it?
Doctor, I'm sorry to disturb you,
it's just--
Oh, it's you.
-What's that?
-It's a shirt.
I suppose you don't like talking about it.
Well, there's nothing to say, really.
It's a shirt.
No, your leg.
Oh, my leg. Oh, it's nothing.
I'll hang it up.
No, no, please please don't.
-You don't mind if I continue?
-No, no, no, go ahead.
-Would you mind if I had one of these?
-No, no, feel free.
Well
what do you think
of our little team then?
Oh, well--
-You seem a little rattled.
No, no, no, no, no.
Well Well, I am just a little concerned
about Miss Finch.
I mean, that was quite a display
she put on downstairs, don't you think?
Oh, she's a dedicated scientist.
She just lost her head
for a moment, that's all.
And as for that young American chappy
and those two, um, effeminate people,
I mean, really,
it's quite an amusing group.
Why are you laughing?
It's no laughing matter.
We're scientists,
that's the important thing.
Come now, I mean, what do you think
they're doing at this very moment?
They're sitting in their rooms
laughing at us.
-Laughing? Laughing at me?
-Yeah.
They wouldn't dare.
I won't stand for it, not anymore.
I know what it's like to be laughed at.
Years of painstaking,
back-breaking research,
only to be laughed at by lesser people.
Ridiculed for being ahead of my time.
Being struck off,
never allowed to operate again.
I'm a surgeon, you know?
The greatest surgeon in the world.
And now, I'm reduced to this smart-assed
paranormal research crap!
And all because they laughed at me.
They never understood.
They struck me off the register,
me, Dr Ludwig Mannheim,
the greatest surgeon in the world!
I'm a surgeon, I tell you!
A surgeon!
I had no idea.
So So you
you were a surgeon, were you?
How How How very interesting.
Do tell me all about it.
It was a very long time ago.
I was the head surgeon
at the Frankfurt General Hospital.
The most respected surgeon
in all of Germany.
But I was surrounded by fools.
Inconsequential, jealous fools.
They knew I was the best,
and they hated me for it.
They all stood there praying
that I would make a mistake,
one little mistake,
so they could laugh at me.
And then it happened.
A slight, trivial error.
It could have happened to anybody,
and even though I quickly made
expert attempts to rectify the situation,
they laughed!
It was a severe test of my self-control.
I decided to reprimand them.
Stop lauging at me! Stop laughing!
I insist you stop laughing!
Still, they laughed and laughed.
I could not believe
such unprofessional behaviour.
Suddenly, I realised
what these fools had made me do.
They were trying to embarrass me
in front of my patient.
They all turned against me
because I was the best.
I was the best, I tell you. The best!
I was the best, I tell you.
The best!
Where am I?
We're in bed. And you're not the best.
Oh, my God, this place is a mess!
-Hi there.
Thought you might need a helping hand.
-It's you. You scared me.
-I know.
Hey, this place is a mess.
I know, but it is the kitchen.
There must be some food somewhere.
-Okay, let's check it out.
-Okay.
Hey, what's this, a microwave?
Mummy?
Mummy?
-Sheila, you wicked slut!
I will not! I saw you!
-I saw you! Come here.
-I didn't!
-Put it on! Put it on!
-No, please!
-Put it on!
-Don't make me put it on!
You wicked, sinful girl, put it on!
-Down on your knees.
-Now, you know what you must do.
-Please, Mummy!
-Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
-No, please, Mummy!
Come on, please forgive me, I've been bad!
Please forgive me, I've been bad!
I'm sorry that I made you sad.
- I'm sorry.
-Yes, yes!
-I said I'm sorry.
-Say it to him!
I'm sorry that I made you sad.
-Mummy says I've cause you pain!
-No, Mummy, please!
-Yes! Say it!
My mummy said I caused you pain.
I'll never, ever sin again!
Say it louder! Tell him!
-I'll never, ever
-Ever sin again!
-Again!
-Again!
Say it again!
Please Please forgive me, I've been--
-Bad!
-Bad.
-Why are you stopping?
-I'm sorry.
-Again! Say it!
No, please, don't.
Don't stop. Say it, say it!
No, say it again!
My My mummy says I've caused you pain.
-I'll never, ever sin again!
Please forgive me,
I've been bad.
I'm sorry if I made you sad.
My mummy says I caused you pain.
I'll never, ever sin again.
You've stopped. Say it again.
-Say it again!
Say it again!
There's nothing in there either.
- Have you checked the fridge?
-Yes, it's empty.
You're right, it's empty.
I wonder what's happened to the chef.
-He hasn't arrived yet.
-Well, that's strange.
You'd think he'd have arrived first
to get things ready.
Well, I thought so, but nobody's seen him
and nobody's heard from him.
Oh, we'll just have to manage ourselves.
Pass me a knife, would you?
I suppose a fork's out of the question.
Not necessarily,
but let's have dinner first.
Okay.
Are you sure that's not a birthmark
on your arm?
What, this?
Yeah, it's a mole.
I'm quite pleased with it, really.
It stops me from being absolutely perfect.
-It's quite big, isn't it?
I've had no complaints.
Well, let's see after dinner, shall we?
Okay.
To be honest with you, I'm, uh
I'm a bit worried about dinner.
There's not enough food here.
That's not all I'm worried about.
What do you mean?
Well, it's this place.
It's so, you know, creepy.
Hey. All these old places are the same.
Especially if they've been empty
for a long time.
They're always full of old cobwebs
and squeaky floorboards.
Mm, but this place
has such a horrible history,
as if those tortured spirits
are still here.
Can you feel it?
Oh, I'd like to,
but someone might come in.
-They're all busy upstairs.
-Hey, you're right.
Do you mind?
-I'm terribly sorry.
Mm. No, we mustn't. We mustn't.
-We must find some food.
-Yeah, okay.
There must be something
'round here somewhere.
What's that?
Hey, hey, don't worry.
It's just a dead rat.
Probably got trapped in there, that's all.
It's like I said,
all these old places are the same.
They're always full of squeaky floorboards
and cobwebs.
There's nothing to worry about.
Is everything all right in here?
-I'm sure I heard a scream.
No, it was just a dead rat.
A dead rat screamed?
Well, no, no, it was her.
The The rat's on the table.
-Oh, hmm. What's for dinner?
-Oh, we we haven't found much yet.
Um, have you heard from the chef?
No, not a word.
I'll call London in the morning.
Uh, what's in the freezer?
-No, this is the fridge.
-Yes, I know that.
-The freezer's in the cellar.
-The cellar?
Oh. Come on, it's down here.
Ooh. Yes, this is definitely the freezer.
God, look at all that meat.
Well, it's no good to us tonight.
It's frozen solid.
I don't like it down here.
My God. What's this?
It looks like a meat pie.
Hey, we can defrost this.
It should fit in the microwave.
-What do you think?
-I think we can.
But can we just take it
and get out of here?
-It's freezing.
-Right you are.
Hey, this looks delicious.
Well, anything's better than dead rat.
-Ow!
Oh, master
We are preparing for your arrival
Oh, master
We are preparing for your arrival
For you are the prince of darkness
For you are the prince of darkness
And we are your--
-Oh, shit, my hand.
- Oh, shit, my hand
-Stupid bloody candle.
- Stupid bloody candle
-Shut up!
- Shut up
-Stop it! Will you stop it?
- Will you stop it?
There's always one.
-To the woods!
- To the woods!
Ah, Miss Finch,
I've been trying to find you.
Um, I had a message
to, uh, come and see you.
-Yes.
- Ooh, Christ.
There's, uh There's something
in the machine room
-I think you should see.
-Oh, let's get out of here.
Well, come along, Miss Finch. What is it?
Well, it's really very strange.
I don't know what to make of it.
It's not like anything I've seen before.
-I really want your opinion on it.
-Oh, fine, lead the way.
Well, as you can see,
the equipment is now wired up.
-Yes, yes, yes.
-All the high frequency sensors
and scanners have been connected.
Every inch of the house is covered,
-so if there is any paranormal activity
-Mm-hmm.
-it should register on these metres.
-Good, good.
-And when we first switched it on
-Yes.
we picked up the usual
static electrical charges
-that are always there.
-Yes.
But then something
quite disturbing happened.
-Really?
-Take a look at this.
There's something going on here.
-Are you sure it's not the machinery?
-I'm sure.
-And you've checked the connections?
-Yes.
-You've realigned the scanners?
-Yes.
You've equalised
the high frequency sensors?
-Yes.
-You've allowed
for the multi-charge build up
on the cable returns?
-Yes.
-And
You've farted again.
-Oh.
-I'm terribly sorry.
No, no, go away! No, no!
Please, please, no! No, no!
Ooh.
That's really nice. Ooh.
Ooh.
-Oh, you dirty devil.
Ooh, I love it.
Oh, I really love it.
This is fantastic.
Oh.
That was wonderful.
Did the room move for you too?
I thought the music was a lovely touch.
How thoughtful. Ta.
Oh. Oh, it's you.
Are you all right?
I thought I heard noises.
Yes. I've never been better.
Oh, good. Dinner's almost ready.
I'll see you downstairs.
I'll be down as soon as I can.
Oh, I get it.
Just another one night stand.
I suppose.
I suppose I'll never see him again.
Well, at least the table's passably
clean now. Thank you very much.
Where's Dr Coyle?
Oh, she said she'd be down
in just a moment.
-Fortunately, we found the wine.
-Hmm.
-Yes, I'm not so sure about this pie.
-Do you wanna
Well, I've never seen readings like it
before in my life. You?
It's the machines. It must be.
They can't be wired up correctly.
-I agree. It must be a malfunction.
-No, I'm not so sure.
You know, I remember a case very similar
to this several years ago,
and that certainly wasn't the machines.
Are you sure
you weren't overthinking things?
Well, I don't like anything
that I can't see.
I don't know, Miss Kedding.
Sometimes the unseen
can be very interesting.
Sorry I'm late.
Would you like a little wine?
Thank you. Lovely.
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do
I'm half crazy over the love of you
It won't be a stylish marriage
Oh, hear me,
mighty ruler of the power of darkness.
All powerful Lucifer, once cast down,
but now about to rise to reign over us,
your loyal subjects.
The hour is nigh, oh, Diablos,
and we, your humble servants,
are preparing the ground
for your return to the house of death.
Yes, I know we screwed up the last time,
and there were intruders
in your sacred house, but--
Yes, I know there are intruders there now.
-But they are scientists.
And their earthly powers exceed ours.
We We tried to scare them off,
but we failed.
He says he's pissed off
with the way we've handled things.
I mean I mean,
what are we supposed to do?
- They are scientists after all.
But he's got a new plan.
He says we must gather up
all the faggots and burn them.
I'm not sure I like the sound of this.
Don't worry, Brother Theresa.
He means wood.
Hurry, grab the faggots.
We're doing it, we're doing it!
Stop being so testy.
Yeah, I've seen those emblems.
I have no idea what they are.
They don't seem to relate
to anything I've seen before.
Yes, you remember,
we saw one on the wall of the local pub.
- Mm.
-Did you?
Yes, not only on the wall.
I mean, everybody in the village
has one tattooed on them somewhere.
That is unbelievable.
I think it has something to do
with the history of this house.
I mean, 18 in one night.
Have you been talking?
-No, no. He means the murders.
-Oh, that's a relief.
-Are you all right?
I say, what's the matter with him?
- He's all right now.
Oh, that's better.
Sorry about the mess.
Hurry, hurry! There's not much time!
The fire must be blazing at midnight.
Quick, the matches!
I I've not got the matches.
Have you got the matches?
I don't carry matches.
I have the matches, master.
Well, don't just stand there.
Light the faggots.
I wish you'd stop saying that.
-If the shoe fits, wear it.
Why isn't the flame burning?
Forgive me, master.
It's too windy, the matches won't light.
Oh, they must light.
Protect the flame with my robe, you fool.
-Yes, master.
-Quick, the exultant one needs the fire
in order to materialise.
Got it, master. I've got it.
-Good, good. We've done our task.
The fire is burning.
No, it's me that's burning, you schmuck!
-I'm on fire!
Well, where are you going?
Oh, this is just great.
The exalted one is about to arrive
and I'm on fire.
I'm going to miss the whole goddamn thing.
I don't believe it.
Seven hundred years undead, and now this.
You try to be Mr Nice Guy
and what do you get?
Well, at least I'm wearing my old robes.
-Oh, God, it's hot.
- There's another.
Oh, master!
I can see! I can see! I can see!
-Christ!
What the devil is that?
Sounds like a lot of monks exploding.
There's definitely
something going on out there.
I don't like this. It's too quiet.
Excuse me.
Must've been the meat pie.
Yes, there's definitely something
going on here.
Well-spotted, Lukas.
Are you laughing at me?
Don't ever laugh at me.
Nobody's laughing at you.
Why are you speaking
in that German accent?
I am not speaking in this German accent!
Now listen to me.
There is nothing
supernatural going on in this house.
Someone is simply trying to scare us.
-And they're succeeding.
-Shut up!
Look at the machines.
They're stabilising.
-What does it mean, doctor?
- I'm not sure.
It could mean that the crisis is over.
If there ever was a crisis
in the first place.
On the other hand,
a power strong enough to cause
the readings we had a moment ago
could conceivably
have the power and intelligence
to neutralise our machinery.
In which case,
it could be in the house right now.
Oh, my God!
On the other hand,
it can't be in the house now,
because if it was in the house,
it'd be registering on the instruments.
But you said
it could have the intelligence
to neutralise the instruments.
Yes, I know I said that,
but I don't believe it.
Why not?
Because I think there's nothing out there.
It's a hoax.
I think somebody's just trying
to scare us off.
Yeah, so do I.
What do you know about it?
Now look here. I think we ought
to search the house immediately.
We'll divide up into pairs.
Stephen, Elliott, you stay here
and watch the machinery.
-Okay? The rest of you, follow me.
-Shh!
Who was that?
Where are you?
Who is laughing?
Come out, you Schweinehund!
-Who is there?
My leg!
It's stuck to the floor!
It's It's my my total identical!
No! No!
That's strange.
I thought the phone was dead.
Why do you think that?
They usually are in situations like this.
-I'll get it.
-Hmm.
Hello?
Oh, come on, you old tart,
get off the phone.
Oh, we're back, are we?
Who was it, wrong number?
Well, who was it?
What's the matter, you lost your tongue?
Do you realise you've been on that phone--
Stephen? Stephen?
Oh, my God.
No, it's me!
Does this count as suicide?
Ah, Dr Harrison. Where's Miss Finch?
I left her downstairs
with Elliot and Stephen.
What's it like up there?
-Quiet.
-Quiet?
It's all right. Where we off to?
-To the khazi.
-The khazi?
-John.
-Yes?
-No.
-Listen.
Um, we'll go back up there and check again
and, uh, we'll meet you
downstairs later, okay?
-But be careful.
Henry.
-Henry.
Henry.
Henry? Henry, where are you?
Henry?
Henry?
Henry? Oh, my God.
Oh, oh, Henry!
-Oh, Henry! Oh, it's you!
Oh, thank God you're all right.
I thought you were Oh.
But how can you-- And then who is in the--
Oh, Henry, never mind. It doesn't matter.
All that matters is that you're safe.
And I love you. I love you.
I love every inch of you, Henry.
-Even the mole on my arm?
-Yes, even the mole on your arm.
Oh, my God!
-Say it again!
-Again! Again!
-No, Mummy, please no. Please
- Yes, yes.
-No! No! No!
No. No.
No! No!
There's something going on here
that we don't know about.
Brilliantly lucid, Lukas.
Do let's go back.
No, no, no, no,
I've got to go through here.
-I don't like it one little bit.
-Don't panic, just follow me.
Look out! Ah! A bat!
-A cricket bat?
-Look.
Suddenly, all the pieces
are falling into place.
This is obviously an opening bat.
I hope it didn't lead us
to a sticky wicket.
-Look!
-What's that?
-I'm not sure.
Oh, my God.
Here, give me a hand.
-You're not going to open it.
-Of course I'm going to open it.
I think we've found
what we're looking for.
- Somehow I wish we hadn't.
-Let's get started.
Have you found anything yet?
- Nothing so far.
-No?
This looks fairly interesting.
Hang on, this is it. Listen.
"Headstone Manor was built on the site
of a burial ground
of an ancient order of monks
who once ruled the area
by terror and torture".
Interesting.
"Folklore has it that the monks
regularly return to site
to perform pagan ceremonies.
When Headstone Manor was built,
many workers died mysteriously,
and stories were rife of monks
who appeared in the night
and took on the form
of any inhabitants of the manor
who met with violent deaths".
Remarkable.
"Some say the monks
are extra terrestrial visitors
from an alien planet,
emissaries of Lucifer,
the prince of darkness,
who used the manor as an instrument
for their evil powers on earth".
-Mm.
-"Local Local people had"
It's so dark in here.
"Local people had the emblem
of the monks' order
tattooed on their bodies
to signify their submission".
Ah, that's better.
"But the true monks had the emblem
burned on the palms of their hands.
Legend has it
that the manor must always remain empty
for its evil powers to function on earth,
and the monks will always reappear
to cleanse it of any intruders".
-Hmm.
On the other hand, of course,
it may not all be quite so simple.
But I recommend we just pack up
and go home.
- It's you!
Lukas, look!
Stop it, stop it!
Please, not now.
I don't want to die doing this!
On the other hand,
we could go back to your place.
How the hell did he do that?
I don't know what she sees in him.
The house has been cleansed!
We must return!
Oh, shit, not again.
Ow, shit! Fuck, ow.
No! No!
No!
Please, no!
No, don't hurt me! Not me! Don't hurt me!
Let me go!
Please don't hurt me!
I won't tell anyone, I swear!
I swear, only don't hurt me!
You know, you're really
a very attractive man.
You are. You really are.
You know, just, you and I, we could have
a really good good time together.
I know what you want.
You want these, don't you?
Hmm.
Oh, my God, did you say "to take away"?
Colin, get this lot out of here,
'cause I'm coming 'round.
I can't see what I'm doing here.
-Go on, get on with it.
-Right-o, guv.
Two-one-three-two.
Oscar delta two.
-Did you see that?
-What?
That road sign back there.
I think it said the B2067.
Did it?
I don't know. That's why I'm asking you.
Because if it did,
then we're on the wrong road again.
Oh, I wouldn't worry. We'll be all right.
We're supposed to be on the A5027.
We'll keep an eye out.
We'll see another sign.
Or we could even stop and ask somebody.
This is stupid.
It's not stupid at all.
We're dedicated scientists,
and there have been strange,
inexplicable radioactive readings
picked up in this area
which have been traced
to a particular house,
and we are on a secret government mission
with other scientists
to investigate this bizarre phenomenon.
It's as simple as that.
Yes, but right now,
-I'm trying to read this map.
I find this case enthralling.
-Have you read all the reports?
- Yes.
Well, if you had,
you'd know about the strange things
that have taken place
in that house years ago.
Do you realise that 18 people
were murdered there one night?
Coincidence. And anyway,
lightning never strikes twice.
Well, it did that night.
Two people were struck by lightning,
two throats were slit,
one was hung, two were axed,
four people were skewered in the same bed.
And a man watching simply blew up.
- What happened to the other six?
-What?
You said there were 18.
Oh, yes, yes, the other six.
They were found frozen to death
in the deep freeze,
all wrapped in cling film.
They'd been shot.
-Bullshit.
-What do you mean, bullshit?
Because it is, that's why.
I mean, so what if 18 people
were killed there in one night?
There could be any number
of logical explanations for that.
And anyway, it was years ago.
Are you sure this is the A5027?
Well, how should I know?
All these country roads look alike to me.
-Anyway, you've got the map.
-Have I?
Do you always drink like that?
My dear, we are but humble scientists
accidentally thrown together
in this macabre investigation.
I see no reason why my drinking habits
should be called in question.
Excuse me, I wonder if you could tell us
if we're on the right road.
We're looking for a place
called Headstone Manor.
I don't understand. Have I
Have I said something wrong?
-I don't un--
Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I--
-Thank you. Awfully sorry.
Eighteen people murdered in one night.
It certainly gives one
something to think about.
The work of a maniac, I'd say.
Wouldn't you?
Hmm, I'm not so sure.
What do you mean?
Well, how do you account
for the, uh, radioactivity readings?
What are you trying to say?
I'm trying to say there's something here
that doesn't smell quite right.
Yes, I know, I'm terribly sorry.
I'll open the window.
You see,
there were radioactivity readings
at the time of the murders,
and the killer was never found.
Plus the fact that 200 years ago,
a very similar incident
happened in that house.
Add all those things together,
and well, need I go on?
Yes.
- Well, it's obvious, isn't it?
-What is?
All the facts are there.
That's just it,
all the facts aren't there.
One can't assume these things.
That's the trouble with life today.
Too many people assume things
and then form opinions
wrongly based on false assumptions.
- You mean
-Precisely.
People always assume
because I'm not interested in football
or swilling beer
in the local pub every night,
and would rather stay at home
and run up a new pair of curtains,
I must therefore, in some way,
be less than a man.
My experience exactly.
-Why don't we just get out of here?
-No, not yet.
Have you noticed that strange mark
on the wall?
- Yes.
It's only an emblem of some sort.
What about it?
I'm sure I've seen it somewhere before.
Look at those men playing cards
over there.
Interesting.
What do you make of it?
Nothing.
Another pint of your regular, please,
Becky dear.
This isn't the bar. It's over there.
I'm sorry. I I'm thanking you.
Stay away from the house of death.
-I think this is it?
-What?
Look, look.
Are you talking about Headstone Manor?
Stay on the road, keep out the woods.
Which way did you say the bar was?
It's over there.
I'd be thanking you.
Eighteen in one night?
Hmm. God, that must've
put you off sex for life.
Not really. Life goes on.
You're one brave lady.
I suppose you had a psychiatrist.
Yes, one of them was a psychiatrist.
-You're kidding me?
-No, he was the last one.
And he made me tell about the other 17.
Oh, God, some people are disgusting.
Well, that's enough about me anyway.
Let's talk about you.
Well, there's not much to tell, really.
After a brilliant career at university,
I entered the field
of paranormal research.
And when they offered me the chance
to come to England
on this type of investigation,
I jumped at it.
No deep, dark secrets then?
Well
I'm not sure.
You see, I, uh
I suffer from a rare type of amnesia.
My brain works perfectly
in relation to my work,
and general everyday details,
even complex intellectual exercises,
but when it comes to my personal life
and relationships and feelings,
I just can't remember.
It all started when this mole
appeared on my arm.
I thought that was a birthmark.
You thought what was a birthmark?
But you can't blame the locals
for being suspicious, love.
I mean, we've had some strange things
happen around here.
-Yes.
-And all because of that house.
You know what happened up there,
don't you, love?
Only too well.
There were 18 people murdered.
Yes, yes, no, I do know actually
because he told me. Thank you.
-Two were struck by lightning.
-Yes.
Two throats were slit.
One hanged. Two had an axe in their head.
-Yes.
-Four people skewered in a bed.
-And six in the freezer.
-What?
Well, six were frozen, you see,
and, uh, wrapped in cling film.
No, no, love, not six,
'cause that would make 19.
No. Twelve and six are 18.
I know that, love,
but there were 13 without the freezer.
Look, we've got it wrong.
Let's count them.
-Look, um, two were struck by lightning.
-Right.
-Two throats were slit.
-That makes four.
-One hung and two axed.
-Hanged.
All right, hanged. And one blew up.
No, it was the four in the bed next.
-That's right, four skewered.
-And one blew up.
No, wait a minute.
We've counted him twice.
-Have we?
-No, you haven't.
No, I have-- Oh, yes, I have.
That was old Ralph
from down the road, you know.
No, no. No, it wasn't.
No, Ralph didn't blow up.
Ralph was in the freezer
with the other five.
Oh, that'd make sense 'cause there were
six in the freezer. I remember that.
No, Ralph wasn't one of them. He blew up.
'Cause I remember his missus said
she could only recognise him by his watch.
So wait a minute, where are we?
There were never five in the bed.
No, no, no, there were four in the bed.
Four in the bed.
Two struck by lightning.
Two struck by lightning.
Two throats were slit.
Two throats were slit.
-One hanged.
- One hanged.
-Another Bloody Mary, love?
-Yes, please.
-Um, one hanged.
-One hanged.
-One hanged.
-Yes.
There was one axed.
No, no, no, no, there were two axed.
Six were shot.
Two struck by lightning.
Two throats a-cutting
Four in a bed
One blew up, one was hanged
Two were axed
And six were frozen to death
-Time, gentlemen, please! Come on now!
Why couldn't you have done this
before they closed the pub?
Sorry, won't be long.
Will you hurry up?
-What is it? What is it?
- It's the barmaid!
The barmaid?
What's she doing in the bushes?
-She's dead.
-Dead?
Yes. Quick, let's get out of here.
I'll call the police from the house.
For heaven's sakes!
Hello, police, can I help you?
Ah, yes, I'd like to report a dead body.
Yes, sir, what type of a dead body?
Type?
Um, upside down with big chests.
What's that got to do with it?
I see, sir.
Where are you calling from?
Look, this is Dr Lukas Mandeville.
I'm calling from Headstone Manor--
Hello?
-Hello?
Chief Inspector Goule here,
can I help you?
Ah, yes, Chief Inspector,
uh, this is Dr Lukas Mandeville
from Headstone Manor.
-Are you still there?
- Yes, sir.
Ah, good. I'd like to report a dead body
in the woods next to the pub.
Yes, sir, hanging upside down
from a tree, is she?
That's right. Uh, how did you know?
-Don't worry sir. We'll find her alright.
You just leave it to us.
We'll be in touch.
First of all, I'd like to welcome you all
to Headstone Manor.
My name is Dr Lukas Mandeville,
and this is my assistant,
Dr Barbara Coyle.
I'm sorry we were a little late
getting here today,
but I'll I'll explain
all about that later.
I assume you've all introduced yourselves
having arrived on time,
-unlike Barbara and myself.
-Mm.
But for now, I'd just like to say
what a pleasure it is
to be associated with such a distinguished
international team of specialists
as yourselves.
-Right.
-Hear hear.
And I really look forward
to working with you all.
And I'm sure you agree
that given the scientific expertise
gathered together in this room,
and the equipment,
which I'm pleased to say,
is already assembled in installed.
I feel that we can put an end
once and for all
to the suspicious rumours
and the mumbo jumbo
that exists concerning this old house.
Oh, by the way,
there is just one little thing.
In fact, the reason why Dr Coyle and I
were a little late today,
-there's been a murder.
-Murder?
Murder?
But who is it? Who's been killed? Who?
Oh, no, there's nothing to worry about,
I assure you.
Oh, my God! This is the house of death!
No, no, no, no.
It's nothing to do with the house.
It's just the barmaid at the local pub
was found dangling upside down from a tree
with her throat cut.
Her throat cut? Oh, my God!
-This is terrible!
-Miss Finch, hey.
She's hysterical.
There's only one thing for it.
A slap in the face.
-You're right.
-Yes, that ought to do it.
Thank you very much.
I feel much better. Thank you.
What is this?
I don't know.
She just slapped me in the face.
No, no, not that.
This.
- What is it?
-Don't you see?
Oh, my God!
It's hideous.
Yes. They seem to be depicting
all the murders
that took place here many years ago.
But what does it mean?
It means someone is trying to scare us.
Someone or something
doesn't want us in this house.
-Why did you do that?
-I always do.
It has served its purpose, my dear,
and is of no further use.
I think it's stupid.
You think it is stupid?
You say that to me,
the arch disciple of Lucifer himself?
You are but a grain of sand,
a mere speck in the cosmos,
and you dare to venture an opinion
regarding the great design
of our master, Diablos Supremus?
To think that I,
the right hand of Beelzebub himself,
should be subjected to the opinions
of churrels and hubble-di-hoys.
Bow thy knee if you wish to even speak
in my presence.
Oh, piss off!
Piss off?
For 700 years,
I have served our master faithfully,
enduring the agonies of the undead,
the tortures of eternal servitude,
obeying his every command,
anticipating his every whim,
his slave, his servant,
never diverting from his purpose,
devoted to that cause
to which I have surrendered my mortality,
condemning myself to everlasting torment
in the presence of that great cause
to which we, the undead,
have all sworn our allegiance.
I, a humble butcher,
was chosen to lead us,
and to faithfully discharge
my duties in his service,
for all of the centuries
that we have dwelt in this place,
and you tell me to piss off?
You piss off.
Has he gone?
No such luck.
But the strangers are still in the house.
They've not been scared off.
What must we do?
The sacred house must be purged.
This was merely a prelude,
a testing of their nerve.
But they have chosen to defy us,
therefore they must pay the price.
The ceremony must take place.
The master returns tonight.
How shall we recognise him?
You'll know him when you see him, stupid.
Tonight is the night of blood-- Oh.
Oh, Christ, here we go again.
Who is it?
Doctor, I'm sorry to disturb you,
it's just--
Oh, it's you.
-What's that?
-It's a shirt.
I suppose you don't like talking about it.
Well, there's nothing to say, really.
It's a shirt.
No, your leg.
Oh, my leg. Oh, it's nothing.
I'll hang it up.
No, no, please please don't.
-You don't mind if I continue?
-No, no, no, go ahead.
-Would you mind if I had one of these?
-No, no, feel free.
Well
what do you think
of our little team then?
Oh, well--
-You seem a little rattled.
No, no, no, no, no.
Well Well, I am just a little concerned
about Miss Finch.
I mean, that was quite a display
she put on downstairs, don't you think?
Oh, she's a dedicated scientist.
She just lost her head
for a moment, that's all.
And as for that young American chappy
and those two, um, effeminate people,
I mean, really,
it's quite an amusing group.
Why are you laughing?
It's no laughing matter.
We're scientists,
that's the important thing.
Come now, I mean, what do you think
they're doing at this very moment?
They're sitting in their rooms
laughing at us.
-Laughing? Laughing at me?
-Yeah.
They wouldn't dare.
I won't stand for it, not anymore.
I know what it's like to be laughed at.
Years of painstaking,
back-breaking research,
only to be laughed at by lesser people.
Ridiculed for being ahead of my time.
Being struck off,
never allowed to operate again.
I'm a surgeon, you know?
The greatest surgeon in the world.
And now, I'm reduced to this smart-assed
paranormal research crap!
And all because they laughed at me.
They never understood.
They struck me off the register,
me, Dr Ludwig Mannheim,
the greatest surgeon in the world!
I'm a surgeon, I tell you!
A surgeon!
I had no idea.
So So you
you were a surgeon, were you?
How How How very interesting.
Do tell me all about it.
It was a very long time ago.
I was the head surgeon
at the Frankfurt General Hospital.
The most respected surgeon
in all of Germany.
But I was surrounded by fools.
Inconsequential, jealous fools.
They knew I was the best,
and they hated me for it.
They all stood there praying
that I would make a mistake,
one little mistake,
so they could laugh at me.
And then it happened.
A slight, trivial error.
It could have happened to anybody,
and even though I quickly made
expert attempts to rectify the situation,
they laughed!
It was a severe test of my self-control.
I decided to reprimand them.
Stop lauging at me! Stop laughing!
I insist you stop laughing!
Still, they laughed and laughed.
I could not believe
such unprofessional behaviour.
Suddenly, I realised
what these fools had made me do.
They were trying to embarrass me
in front of my patient.
They all turned against me
because I was the best.
I was the best, I tell you. The best!
I was the best, I tell you.
The best!
Where am I?
We're in bed. And you're not the best.
Oh, my God, this place is a mess!
-Hi there.
Thought you might need a helping hand.
-It's you. You scared me.
-I know.
Hey, this place is a mess.
I know, but it is the kitchen.
There must be some food somewhere.
-Okay, let's check it out.
-Okay.
Hey, what's this, a microwave?
Mummy?
Mummy?
-Sheila, you wicked slut!
I will not! I saw you!
-I saw you! Come here.
-I didn't!
-Put it on! Put it on!
-No, please!
-Put it on!
-Don't make me put it on!
You wicked, sinful girl, put it on!
-Down on your knees.
-Now, you know what you must do.
-Please, Mummy!
-Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
-No, please, Mummy!
Come on, please forgive me, I've been bad!
Please forgive me, I've been bad!
I'm sorry that I made you sad.
- I'm sorry.
-Yes, yes!
-I said I'm sorry.
-Say it to him!
I'm sorry that I made you sad.
-Mummy says I've cause you pain!
-No, Mummy, please!
-Yes! Say it!
My mummy said I caused you pain.
I'll never, ever sin again!
Say it louder! Tell him!
-I'll never, ever
-Ever sin again!
-Again!
-Again!
Say it again!
Please Please forgive me, I've been--
-Bad!
-Bad.
-Why are you stopping?
-I'm sorry.
-Again! Say it!
No, please, don't.
Don't stop. Say it, say it!
No, say it again!
My My mummy says I've caused you pain.
-I'll never, ever sin again!
Please forgive me,
I've been bad.
I'm sorry if I made you sad.
My mummy says I caused you pain.
I'll never, ever sin again.
You've stopped. Say it again.
-Say it again!
Say it again!
There's nothing in there either.
- Have you checked the fridge?
-Yes, it's empty.
You're right, it's empty.
I wonder what's happened to the chef.
-He hasn't arrived yet.
-Well, that's strange.
You'd think he'd have arrived first
to get things ready.
Well, I thought so, but nobody's seen him
and nobody's heard from him.
Oh, we'll just have to manage ourselves.
Pass me a knife, would you?
I suppose a fork's out of the question.
Not necessarily,
but let's have dinner first.
Okay.
Are you sure that's not a birthmark
on your arm?
What, this?
Yeah, it's a mole.
I'm quite pleased with it, really.
It stops me from being absolutely perfect.
-It's quite big, isn't it?
I've had no complaints.
Well, let's see after dinner, shall we?
Okay.
To be honest with you, I'm, uh
I'm a bit worried about dinner.
There's not enough food here.
That's not all I'm worried about.
What do you mean?
Well, it's this place.
It's so, you know, creepy.
Hey. All these old places are the same.
Especially if they've been empty
for a long time.
They're always full of old cobwebs
and squeaky floorboards.
Mm, but this place
has such a horrible history,
as if those tortured spirits
are still here.
Can you feel it?
Oh, I'd like to,
but someone might come in.
-They're all busy upstairs.
-Hey, you're right.
Do you mind?
-I'm terribly sorry.
Mm. No, we mustn't. We mustn't.
-We must find some food.
-Yeah, okay.
There must be something
'round here somewhere.
What's that?
Hey, hey, don't worry.
It's just a dead rat.
Probably got trapped in there, that's all.
It's like I said,
all these old places are the same.
They're always full of squeaky floorboards
and cobwebs.
There's nothing to worry about.
Is everything all right in here?
-I'm sure I heard a scream.
No, it was just a dead rat.
A dead rat screamed?
Well, no, no, it was her.
The The rat's on the table.
-Oh, hmm. What's for dinner?
-Oh, we we haven't found much yet.
Um, have you heard from the chef?
No, not a word.
I'll call London in the morning.
Uh, what's in the freezer?
-No, this is the fridge.
-Yes, I know that.
-The freezer's in the cellar.
-The cellar?
Oh. Come on, it's down here.
Ooh. Yes, this is definitely the freezer.
God, look at all that meat.
Well, it's no good to us tonight.
It's frozen solid.
I don't like it down here.
My God. What's this?
It looks like a meat pie.
Hey, we can defrost this.
It should fit in the microwave.
-What do you think?
-I think we can.
But can we just take it
and get out of here?
-It's freezing.
-Right you are.
Hey, this looks delicious.
Well, anything's better than dead rat.
-Ow!
Oh, master
We are preparing for your arrival
Oh, master
We are preparing for your arrival
For you are the prince of darkness
For you are the prince of darkness
And we are your--
-Oh, shit, my hand.
- Oh, shit, my hand
-Stupid bloody candle.
- Stupid bloody candle
-Shut up!
- Shut up
-Stop it! Will you stop it?
- Will you stop it?
There's always one.
-To the woods!
- To the woods!
Ah, Miss Finch,
I've been trying to find you.
Um, I had a message
to, uh, come and see you.
-Yes.
- Ooh, Christ.
There's, uh There's something
in the machine room
-I think you should see.
-Oh, let's get out of here.
Well, come along, Miss Finch. What is it?
Well, it's really very strange.
I don't know what to make of it.
It's not like anything I've seen before.
-I really want your opinion on it.
-Oh, fine, lead the way.
Well, as you can see,
the equipment is now wired up.
-Yes, yes, yes.
-All the high frequency sensors
and scanners have been connected.
Every inch of the house is covered,
-so if there is any paranormal activity
-Mm-hmm.
-it should register on these metres.
-Good, good.
-And when we first switched it on
-Yes.
we picked up the usual
static electrical charges
-that are always there.
-Yes.
But then something
quite disturbing happened.
-Really?
-Take a look at this.
There's something going on here.
-Are you sure it's not the machinery?
-I'm sure.
-And you've checked the connections?
-Yes.
-You've realigned the scanners?
-Yes.
You've equalised
the high frequency sensors?
-Yes.
-You've allowed
for the multi-charge build up
on the cable returns?
-Yes.
-And
You've farted again.
-Oh.
-I'm terribly sorry.
No, no, go away! No, no!
Please, please, no! No, no!
Ooh.
That's really nice. Ooh.
Ooh.
-Oh, you dirty devil.
Ooh, I love it.
Oh, I really love it.
This is fantastic.
Oh.
That was wonderful.
Did the room move for you too?
I thought the music was a lovely touch.
How thoughtful. Ta.
Oh. Oh, it's you.
Are you all right?
I thought I heard noises.
Yes. I've never been better.
Oh, good. Dinner's almost ready.
I'll see you downstairs.
I'll be down as soon as I can.
Oh, I get it.
Just another one night stand.
I suppose.
I suppose I'll never see him again.
Well, at least the table's passably
clean now. Thank you very much.
Where's Dr Coyle?
Oh, she said she'd be down
in just a moment.
-Fortunately, we found the wine.
-Hmm.
-Yes, I'm not so sure about this pie.
-Do you wanna
Well, I've never seen readings like it
before in my life. You?
It's the machines. It must be.
They can't be wired up correctly.
-I agree. It must be a malfunction.
-No, I'm not so sure.
You know, I remember a case very similar
to this several years ago,
and that certainly wasn't the machines.
Are you sure
you weren't overthinking things?
Well, I don't like anything
that I can't see.
I don't know, Miss Kedding.
Sometimes the unseen
can be very interesting.
Sorry I'm late.
Would you like a little wine?
Thank you. Lovely.
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do
I'm half crazy over the love of you
It won't be a stylish marriage
Oh, hear me,
mighty ruler of the power of darkness.
All powerful Lucifer, once cast down,
but now about to rise to reign over us,
your loyal subjects.
The hour is nigh, oh, Diablos,
and we, your humble servants,
are preparing the ground
for your return to the house of death.
Yes, I know we screwed up the last time,
and there were intruders
in your sacred house, but--
Yes, I know there are intruders there now.
-But they are scientists.
And their earthly powers exceed ours.
We We tried to scare them off,
but we failed.
He says he's pissed off
with the way we've handled things.
I mean I mean,
what are we supposed to do?
- They are scientists after all.
But he's got a new plan.
He says we must gather up
all the faggots and burn them.
I'm not sure I like the sound of this.
Don't worry, Brother Theresa.
He means wood.
Hurry, grab the faggots.
We're doing it, we're doing it!
Stop being so testy.
Yeah, I've seen those emblems.
I have no idea what they are.
They don't seem to relate
to anything I've seen before.
Yes, you remember,
we saw one on the wall of the local pub.
- Mm.
-Did you?
Yes, not only on the wall.
I mean, everybody in the village
has one tattooed on them somewhere.
That is unbelievable.
I think it has something to do
with the history of this house.
I mean, 18 in one night.
Have you been talking?
-No, no. He means the murders.
-Oh, that's a relief.
-Are you all right?
I say, what's the matter with him?
- He's all right now.
Oh, that's better.
Sorry about the mess.
Hurry, hurry! There's not much time!
The fire must be blazing at midnight.
Quick, the matches!
I I've not got the matches.
Have you got the matches?
I don't carry matches.
I have the matches, master.
Well, don't just stand there.
Light the faggots.
I wish you'd stop saying that.
-If the shoe fits, wear it.
Why isn't the flame burning?
Forgive me, master.
It's too windy, the matches won't light.
Oh, they must light.
Protect the flame with my robe, you fool.
-Yes, master.
-Quick, the exultant one needs the fire
in order to materialise.
Got it, master. I've got it.
-Good, good. We've done our task.
The fire is burning.
No, it's me that's burning, you schmuck!
-I'm on fire!
Well, where are you going?
Oh, this is just great.
The exalted one is about to arrive
and I'm on fire.
I'm going to miss the whole goddamn thing.
I don't believe it.
Seven hundred years undead, and now this.
You try to be Mr Nice Guy
and what do you get?
Well, at least I'm wearing my old robes.
-Oh, God, it's hot.
- There's another.
Oh, master!
I can see! I can see! I can see!
-Christ!
What the devil is that?
Sounds like a lot of monks exploding.
There's definitely
something going on out there.
I don't like this. It's too quiet.
Excuse me.
Must've been the meat pie.
Yes, there's definitely something
going on here.
Well-spotted, Lukas.
Are you laughing at me?
Don't ever laugh at me.
Nobody's laughing at you.
Why are you speaking
in that German accent?
I am not speaking in this German accent!
Now listen to me.
There is nothing
supernatural going on in this house.
Someone is simply trying to scare us.
-And they're succeeding.
-Shut up!
Look at the machines.
They're stabilising.
-What does it mean, doctor?
- I'm not sure.
It could mean that the crisis is over.
If there ever was a crisis
in the first place.
On the other hand,
a power strong enough to cause
the readings we had a moment ago
could conceivably
have the power and intelligence
to neutralise our machinery.
In which case,
it could be in the house right now.
Oh, my God!
On the other hand,
it can't be in the house now,
because if it was in the house,
it'd be registering on the instruments.
But you said
it could have the intelligence
to neutralise the instruments.
Yes, I know I said that,
but I don't believe it.
Why not?
Because I think there's nothing out there.
It's a hoax.
I think somebody's just trying
to scare us off.
Yeah, so do I.
What do you know about it?
Now look here. I think we ought
to search the house immediately.
We'll divide up into pairs.
Stephen, Elliott, you stay here
and watch the machinery.
-Okay? The rest of you, follow me.
-Shh!
Who was that?
Where are you?
Who is laughing?
Come out, you Schweinehund!
-Who is there?
My leg!
It's stuck to the floor!
It's It's my my total identical!
No! No!
That's strange.
I thought the phone was dead.
Why do you think that?
They usually are in situations like this.
-I'll get it.
-Hmm.
Hello?
Oh, come on, you old tart,
get off the phone.
Oh, we're back, are we?
Who was it, wrong number?
Well, who was it?
What's the matter, you lost your tongue?
Do you realise you've been on that phone--
Stephen? Stephen?
Oh, my God.
No, it's me!
Does this count as suicide?
Ah, Dr Harrison. Where's Miss Finch?
I left her downstairs
with Elliot and Stephen.
What's it like up there?
-Quiet.
-Quiet?
It's all right. Where we off to?
-To the khazi.
-The khazi?
-John.
-Yes?
-No.
-Listen.
Um, we'll go back up there and check again
and, uh, we'll meet you
downstairs later, okay?
-But be careful.
Henry.
-Henry.
Henry.
Henry? Henry, where are you?
Henry?
Henry?
Henry? Oh, my God.
Oh, oh, Henry!
-Oh, Henry! Oh, it's you!
Oh, thank God you're all right.
I thought you were Oh.
But how can you-- And then who is in the--
Oh, Henry, never mind. It doesn't matter.
All that matters is that you're safe.
And I love you. I love you.
I love every inch of you, Henry.
-Even the mole on my arm?
-Yes, even the mole on your arm.
Oh, my God!
-Say it again!
-Again! Again!
-No, Mummy, please no. Please
- Yes, yes.
-No! No! No!
No. No.
No! No!
There's something going on here
that we don't know about.
Brilliantly lucid, Lukas.
Do let's go back.
No, no, no, no,
I've got to go through here.
-I don't like it one little bit.
-Don't panic, just follow me.
Look out! Ah! A bat!
-A cricket bat?
-Look.
Suddenly, all the pieces
are falling into place.
This is obviously an opening bat.
I hope it didn't lead us
to a sticky wicket.
-Look!
-What's that?
-I'm not sure.
Oh, my God.
Here, give me a hand.
-You're not going to open it.
-Of course I'm going to open it.
I think we've found
what we're looking for.
- Somehow I wish we hadn't.
-Let's get started.
Have you found anything yet?
- Nothing so far.
-No?
This looks fairly interesting.
Hang on, this is it. Listen.
"Headstone Manor was built on the site
of a burial ground
of an ancient order of monks
who once ruled the area
by terror and torture".
Interesting.
"Folklore has it that the monks
regularly return to site
to perform pagan ceremonies.
When Headstone Manor was built,
many workers died mysteriously,
and stories were rife of monks
who appeared in the night
and took on the form
of any inhabitants of the manor
who met with violent deaths".
Remarkable.
"Some say the monks
are extra terrestrial visitors
from an alien planet,
emissaries of Lucifer,
the prince of darkness,
who used the manor as an instrument
for their evil powers on earth".
-Mm.
-"Local Local people had"
It's so dark in here.
"Local people had the emblem
of the monks' order
tattooed on their bodies
to signify their submission".
Ah, that's better.
"But the true monks had the emblem
burned on the palms of their hands.
Legend has it
that the manor must always remain empty
for its evil powers to function on earth,
and the monks will always reappear
to cleanse it of any intruders".
-Hmm.
On the other hand, of course,
it may not all be quite so simple.
But I recommend we just pack up
and go home.
- It's you!
Lukas, look!
Stop it, stop it!
Please, not now.
I don't want to die doing this!
On the other hand,
we could go back to your place.
How the hell did he do that?
I don't know what she sees in him.
The house has been cleansed!
We must return!
Oh, shit, not again.