Bloody Nun: Last Rites (2023) Movie Script
1
- [Eddie] Hello, my name is
Eddie, the conspiracy guy,
and I wanna talk about
the latest conspiracy
that I've been following,
the massacre that took
place up in New York,
where all those ghost
hunters got killed
by some coked-out
TV host, Kit Carson.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
is with heavy hearts
that we report on
a tragic incident
involving Hollywood
megastar, Kit Carson.
The acclaimed actor, known for
his larger-than-life roles,
has taken a shocking turn.
Reports indicate that Kit,
while filming a
scene in a church,
had a sudden and
terrifying breakdown.
Witnesses say he
became unhinged,
turning on his
own cast and crew.
The unimaginable unfolded
as a once thriving movie set
became a scene of chaos.
As authorities investigate
this tragic event,
we can't help but
mourn the loss of lives
and the impact this will have
on the entertainment industry.
Kit Carson, once the
darling of Hollywood,
has now become the center
of a dark and haunting tale.
- A ghost hunting show
turned into a murder show.
Kit Carson, everyone's
favorite ghosting show host,
has been accused of murder.
Well, I personally always
knew the guy was scum.
He gives us real paranormal
investigators a bad name.
- Kit Carson, that
nigger is tweaking.
That nigger don't even
get down like that.
Me and that nigger been
down since the sandbox
riding that nigger on
the top of my bike.
Like, y'all whiling.
If y'all think y'all
know that man history,
y'all tweaking, y'all tweaking,
y'all need to do your homework.
The man would never
do no shit like that.
Get the fuck outta here.
- Hello, everyone, Hal North
here reporting on a story
that saw local urban legend
turned to real life tragedy.
TV personality and
ghost-chasing host, Kit Carson
was allegedly doing a show
or some kind of contest
in a community church overnight
to address the
stories of hauntings
connected to church members
that had gone missing
over the years.
The church has a history
of paranormal activity,
but this is the first time
the supposed ghost hunters
were investigating the premises.
Now, the church
had previously kept
ghost hunters and gawkers out,
only allowing regular
congregation in for services,
even keeping a list of
members in recent years
due to troubles with rumors
of disturbances from staff,
both living and deceased.
Nothing was ever proven and
some of the missing folks
were said to have
been local vagrants
not even connected
with the church.
No bodies were ever found or
charges made against the staff,
that is, until today.
We do not have full details,
as this is an
active investigation
and no names have
been released yet,
but a phone call was
made to authorities
by a producer of the
show that was filming,
that Kit Carson was killing
people inside the building.
When police and emergency
responders arrived,
they found several
deceased individuals
and took Mr. Carson
into custody.
He is now being
held without bail.
We eagerly await further
details in this situation.
We'll update all of
you as we know more.
- Bridget, I can't
believe you got me
my first exclusive interview
with a TV star,
gone murderer, grr!
- Anytime, sweetie.
- Hm. Quick question.
Is it gonna be safe
in there with him?
- I have him tied up tighter
than a virgin on prom night.
If he tries out anything, I'm
gonna shoot him with my gun
just like a raccoon
on a garbage can.
- (laughing) You're
such a badass, Bridget.
- Mm-hm.
- I feel so
safe with you.
I owe you one.
- You sure do.
What about we go
out for that drink
like you've been promising?
You can swing by my place
and I'll show you my gun.
- Ooh! (laughing)
I like guns.
- Well, I have a
really nice gun.
- Well, I'm free tomorrow night.
- Mm-hm.
Tight ass.
You better be ready to talk.
- Kit Carson, I'm Whitney Smart
and I'm here so you can
tell your side of the story.
- Oh my God, you gotta
get me outta here.
I didn't kill anyone.
- Okay, well, Kit, I
need you to tell me
everything that happened
in the church last night
and I mean everything.
- I'll tell you everything.
Is that recorder on?
- [Whitney] Yes.
- It wasn't me
- Kit, who was it then?
Who killed all those people?
- It was the nun.
- [Whitney] Hm?
(soft tense melodic music)
Darkness
He's coming
Darkness
He's coming
Darkness
He's coming
Darkness
He's coming
(soft tense melodic music)
(singer vocalizing)
(soft tense melodic
music continues)
Darkness
He's coming
Darkness
- [Father Draven] As we all
know, times have been hard here
for our fledgling
little house of worship.
- Yes, Bishop, but we must
have faith in the Lord.
- And you've always
had the strongest faith
among us, Sister Rosa.
- Hm.
- However, due to an
insufficient congregation,
I've had to make
somewhat of a deal.
We'll be having guests tonight.
- Guests?
- The fact is we'll be
hosting a production crew
for a TV show that
will be dealing
with somewhat paranormal
subject matter.
- Paranormal, in the
house of the Lord?
- There are no ghosts here,
Bishop, except the Holy Ghost.
- Well, the truth is,
the producer has donated
a very large sum of money,
we can use it to rebuild
and to bring in a
new congregation.
- But Bishop, this
is a house of God.
- We'll entertain our guests.
We'll let them do their TV show
and please prepare accordingly.
(light melodic music)
- I wonder who that twat is.
- I think she wants to be
the producer of the next gig.
- I thought the church
was our next gig.
- It is, but I think
she wants to produce it.
(light melodic music)
- What is this,
your casting couch?
- Hey, Faith.
- Nice to see you again, Kit.
Sorry my business partner,
Hunk, couldn't be here.
You know, producers, directors,
you know how they are.
- Hunk? (laughs)
That's a douchey name.
- Listen, Kit, we have the
greatest opportunity for you.
- Oh, opportunity for me?
- Mm-hm.
- Cool, let's hear it.
- Well, we wanna
make the biggest
ghost hunting TV
show of all time.
- I'm listening.
- Okay, we wanna take
a bunch of filmmakers,
put them in a haunted
location overnight.
Whoever has the best footage
is the big winner, baby.
We wanna make this show
big, hosted by you.
We want you to be the face.
We wanna show
people who you are.
We want you to participate
in the first episode.
We're gonna dig up whoever
that we feel is right,
which Hunk is doing right now.
(light melodic music)
Listen, Kit, I know
about the church.
- Yeah, the church is
my next investigation.
I have people staking
it out right now,
I'll know the ins and outs
of that place any minute.
But it's on the hush
hush, 'cause no one's
filmed there yet.
- We want a piece of the pie.
The church is the best
location for the first episode.
This is what I'm
willing to offer you,
that includes the percentage
and the backend, of course.
- The backend? Only one
getting the backend is me.
And if you want me
now, it's a extra 50 K,
and you get 20% of the
sales, I'm the cash cow.
- Standard is 50%.
- I don't give a shit
about any standard.
That's the deal, you
take it or you leave it.
- It's a deal.
- Nice, Faith, as always,
it's good working with you.
- This is gonna be
the biggest show ever.
- Of course it is.
I'm in it.
- [Wes] Boss, we need to talk.
- Hey, what's up guys?
- All right.
- Hold on, hold on a second,
I'm on the Instagram.
These kittens, crazy.
All right, cool, what's up?
- Go ahead.
- Okay, so I was just
discussing with Zak.
- [Kit] This is Zak?
- Yeah, boss.
- [Kit] Okay, cool, cool,
cool. Go ahead, go ahead.
- Okay, we were discussing
that since we're basically
doing all the work
and you're not there, obviously,
maybe a $5,000 raise
would be kind of nice.
- Ah, that's why you came
in, you want a raise?
- Yeah.
- You should have said that
when you first came in.
Are you kidding me? Absolutely.
What do you want, 500,
500,000, maybe a million?
Let me reach out to production,
we'll get you $2 million.
How about that, how's
that sound? Two million.
- Okay, boss, all right, okay.
- Sit down.
- Oh, you wanna go
there, tough guy?
You want a fucking job tomorrow?
I'll give you a fourth
offer for both of you.
Get the fuck out.
- Come on, let's go. Sorry.
- You wanna be me,
you wanna be me money?
- All right, sorry.
- Get fucking better looking.
How about that?
(soft eerie music)
- Wow, the boss is
gonna love this.
(soft eerie music)
Oh, check this out.
Man, this is crazy.
Oh, he's gonna love this.
(soft eerie music)
Yeah.
(soft eerie music)
What the?
Oh, my God!
Whoa! What is going on here?
(soft eerie music)
Oh, look at this.
Ooh, ow! Man, that is sharp.
(soft eerie music)
(baby laughing)
(soft eerie music)
Wait, Sister.
Who's there?
(soft eerie music)
Sister?
Where'd you go?
(soft eerie music)
Sister?
Sister, wait.
Sister, where are you going?
- [Demon] Come to me, child.
Let us wash the sin
away with blood.
We must pray.
I forgive nothing.
You will rot.
(soft eerie music)
- Wow!
You are good looking.
(soft melodic music)
Jesus.
No, no, no, it's not contacts,
that is my eye color.
I know, I know.
It's amazing, I know.
Yeah, been in the
business for years.
You, my friend, are number one.
That's why you get the
percentage you get.
That's why you make
the money you make,
'cause you are the top dog.
Women love you.
Men want to be you.
You're fancy.
You're happy.
You're great in bed.
I think so.
That's right, my friend.
The sky's the limit this year,
sky is the limit.
- Hey, Hunk, what's going on?
Did you get those people
that we were talking about?
Guess what, I got Kit.
Yeah, unfortunately
it was only 20%,
but we got the church gig.
- Hey.
- We're gonna be rich, baby.
- Hey, come on.
- Hold on.
- I gotta lock up.
What are you doing in the dark?
- Who the fuck are you?
- I'm Wes.
- And?
- And get the fuck
out, we gotta lock up.
- Go fuck yourself.
- All right, tight
ass, hurry up.
- Go fuck yourself.
Yeah, I don't know, some dude
told me he's gotta lock up,
so I'm gonna go, babe,
but I'll see you at home.
Get the champagne ready.
Bye, love you.
(gentle melodic music)
- Oh, this place is
gonna put me on the map.
Oh, you must be
Father Draven, hi.
- Hello, how are you?
- How you doing?
- Welcome.
- I'm Hunk Edwards,
we spoke on the phone.
- Okay.
I recall and I think you'll find
that we're all
ready for your show.
- That's great, I
hope you don't mind,
my crew and I have to
put cameras everywhere.
This is gonna be a 24-hour
challenge, it's gonna be great.
- Hm, well, that all
sounds very good.
Um, you do whatever
you need to do.
Ah, you'll find me in
my office if you need me
and if there's any of
your personal items
that need to be locked up,
you should let me know,
we'll put them in there.
- That's great.
- Now, if you recall,
as we discussed,
my collection is in the basement
and I would remind you again
to be very, very careful
with those items, okay.
Other than that,
have a good evening.
I'll see you in the morning
to let everyone out.
- Great, I really love
a great show and tell.
- A show and tell?
Well, I'm sure you'll find
this is a show and tell
that you're unlikely
to ever forget.
(gentle melodic music)
- So this is where the
unsuspecting community
would gather every Sunday
morning before services,
unaware they were contributing
more to predator than prayer.
- What are you doing here,
you rotten scoundrel?
- I don't have any
problems, Faith.
- I fired you, you
have no business here!
- Maybe you should go ask Hunk.
- Maybe I will.
- I've got work to do.
Da da da
- Faith, baby!
- "Faith, baby?" No,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
- But what, oh?
- I just saw Mick outside.
What is Mick doing
here? I fired him.
Seriously, you hired
him behind my back?
- I hired him
because he's awesome,
and 'cause they hate each other,
Kit and Mick don't
like each other.
- He's incompetent, I
fired him for a reason.
- Well, yeah.
- I'm the one
who got Kit, okay, I'm the
one who has the money, okay.
You did things behind my back
and constantly do
things behind my back
and I'm sick of it!
- Listen, I'm trying to make
this money because I love you.
We need to have
some money, right?
- No.
- No drama.
- You do things behind
my back constantly
and I'm tired of it, I am done!
And who were you
talking to before?
- Oh, that's Father Draven.
He let me into the church.
Father Draven, a priest,
a pastor, BlitzPrison.
- Preacher?
- The preacher, the
pastor, the monkey,
the guy who let me in there.
- The monkey? No, he's a monk
and I'm the one who drinks.
Gee, I wonder why I drink.
Look who I'm married to.
- What do you drink?
- I don't trust you anymore.
- What do you do?
- After this week, I'm done.
You get it? Without
me, you've nothing.
- 'Cause I hired Mick, I'm done?
- Yes.
- I'm trying to make us money.
- Because you do things
behind my back, that's why!
- To make us money.
- No, no.
- I love you.
- No, I don't trust you.
I am done.
- Seven figures,
that's what I'm doing.
- Where's my flask? You
took my flask, didn't you?
- Why would I take your flask?
It's the only way I could go-
- Because I had it in the car.
I had it in the car and
now it's gone, you took it.
- Darling, I would give
you your flask if I had it.
'cause it'd make you pleasant.
- You know what?
I'm sick of this, we're
done, I'm finished.
- But babe, go get
some church wine
right down there.
- You know, maybe I will.
- I just told you.
- Because we are
finished. Goodbye.
- You're really leaving,
Faith, over that?
I'm Hunk.
I got a big one, you know that,
I got a big dick and
you are gonna miss it.
- I really need a drink.
(gentle melodic music)
(door clicking)
Okay, where is the wine?
(drawers thudding)
No wine there.
(drawers thudding)
I don't know what that is.
(door clicking)
Any wine here?
Oh, come on, I
really need a drink.
(door thudding)
Seriously?
(door thudding)
No wine in here. (sighing)
(door thudding)
(Faith sighing heavily)
The closet. Please
let there be wine.
(door thudding)
- Excuse me, is there
something I can help you with?
- Oh, Sister Rosa,
I was wondering
if you had any other old wine?
I need it for a prop for a scene
that we're doing
for the TV show.
- I know we have a collection
of very old things downstairs.
I suppose the wine there
would be old as well.
I don't know if that helps.
- Ah, thank you so much.
- Bless and keep you, Faith.
(Hunk whistling tunefully)
- How are you?
- Oh!
- I thought I'd stop in and
check on your progress here.
- You scared me there,
Father, how you doing?
Um, this is what
we're setting up,
we're setting up little cameras
that have 24-hour battery access
so we can watch everybody
at the same time
and make sure that
they are not cheating.
- Oh, my goodness,
I've never seen
this kind of a setup before.
This is an awful lot of
technology going on here.
- It's a awful lot of money too.
But it is a Hunk
Edwards production
and that means Hunk
Edwards Productions,
I'm Hunk, so it's good.
- All right, well, we're
certainly counting on you
doing a good job here.
- Thank you.
Thank you, man.
- I think you'll find the
subject matter quite intriguing.
- Which, (sighing) okay, I
gotta ask because it's the show,
but have you seen like
anything weird here,
like have you seen a ghost?
- Ghosts?
- I know, I know, I know.
- No, there's no ghosts.
- I don't believe in ghosts,
but we could try to
make one of those.
(Father Draven chuckling)
Yeah, maybe in post.
But still, anyway.
- I'm sure you'll have
enough to work with.
- That's good, I like that.
- Hm.
- Hunk Edwards loves it.
I'm talking in the third
person, I don't know why.
- Well, good luck this evening.
- Thank you, thank
you, my friend.
(gentle melodic music)
- Father Thorn, it's
come to my attention
by some of the parents
here in the parish
that their children
have been coming home
with, with bruises and-
- Not me!
It's a couple of bullies
in the playground,
but that's about it.
- Well, it's been my
experience, Father Thorn,
that if there's bullies
in the playground,
the children usually
say something
to the parents about that.
In this case, the children,
they seem to be traumatized.
I've known you a long time
and I will, I will
defend you if I can,
but if there's anything
happening to these children
at your hands,
please, please tell me,
so I know.
- No, no.
By the grace of God, no!
I've been especially
really nice to the children
and I've been really nice
to them for 50 years.
There hasn't been one
single complaint on me.
I don't know what they, they,
maybe there's a few
that have it in for me.
I don't understand.
- Well, I'd like to find that
out if, if they're lying,
I, I wanna get to the bottom
of this, but right now-
- Bring a kid here.
- Father Thorn,
I've known you for a long time
and I've noticed a change
in your demeanor as of late.
And I mean, have you any
trouble going on in your life?
- [Father Thorn] No.
- Look, Father Thorn,
it's only a matter of time
before the truth comes out
and that is my job,
is to find the truth.
Now, one last time,
have you any idea
how these children
are being abused?
- No, I don't
and I don't like these bullshit
accusations on me, okay!
- I think you should
leave, Father Thorn.
I will take over on this.
- Good riddance! I've
had it with here.
Go ahead, Father.
- And God help you, sir.
- Welcome.
- Hey!
What's up, Padre? How are you?
- I'm good. Who are you?
- Who am I? I'm Kit Carson.
- Oh, you're with the ghost
hunter team that's here, right?
- I am the team, Father.
- Okay, well, right this way.
All right.
So this is our church
here and you know...
- Good stuff.
I gotta do one of these,
Padre, before I walk in?
- Oh no, it's not necessary,
but you already did anyways.
- I'm just messing with
you. I used to be Catholic.
- Oh, nice.
- No, no, I'm still
Catholic. Not really.
- Okay.
Well, you're welcome
here regardless, so.
- Yeah, I appreciate it.
- [Rufus] Yeah, and um-
- [Kit] I'm surprised
I'm not melting yet,
you know what I mean? (laughing)
Scary in here a
little bit for me.
- [Rufus] Yeah, okay, sure.
Okay, so right this way.
- [Kit] That's a
handsome robe you got.
- Oh, thank you, yeah.
- Get a little footage of you,
you know what I mean?
- Oh, okay, cool.
- [Kit] And tell me your story.
- Okay.
(door clicking)
- [Kit] All right, let's meet
the team of this shindig.
- Yeah, they're right,
oh, they're right here.
- [Hunk] Oh, my goodness,
it's Kit Carson.
- What are you doing
here? And who's this guy?
- It, it's Kit Carson.
Kit Carson, wow!
I'm Hunk Edwards,
I'm the producer.
You met my wife, Faith.
She said nothing but
cool things about you.
Kit Carson, I can't believe it.
- You're Hunk?
- [Hunk] I'm Hunk,
yeah, yeah, man.
- Let me ask you a question.
- Anything, man.
- Who the fuck
calls himself Hunk?
- I do. (laughing)
- That's great.
- It's rock and roll, man.
- Rock and roll, yeah.
- I completely-
- How about you roll
the fuck outta here?
- I-I could do that, I could.
- Yeah, you're a hunk.
Listen, do me a favor,
get the fuck outta here,
so I can talk to him.
- Have you met Mick Bravo?
- I know Mick. Put the glasses
on, put the glasses on.
Oh, I see it.
- You see it?
- I see it. No, I don't,
get the fuck out, bro.
- [Hunk] Um, Mick,
I'll talk to you later.
- You still wearing the glasses?
- I, thank you, see
you, big fan. Do it.
- How's this gonna work?
These sleaze bags didn't tell me
how this was gonna roll out,
me and you in the same space.
It's not like we're the
best of friends anymore.
And I thought you got
banned from the network
and you were doing fucking
kid videos for likes.
- Trying to come up
with a game plan.
It's not my fault my vlog stats
dominate your weak
ass shit show.
- Listen, I'm setting up a turf.
You don't think we're gonna be
stepping all over each other?
And I'll tell you
what, I got no problem
dancing over your dead
body for five bucks.
- Profound words in
a church, Kit Kat.
- It's a haunted church, bitch.
- All right, listen, I'll take
the front, you get the back,
since you've already been,
you had your crew setting
up out there anyway.
- How about you take
the back, the way back,
like out of screen?
- [Mick] Ha, whatever,
sounds about right.
- This is my show, I
didn't ask you to be here.
I have no idea why
they brought you in.
I work alone.
- I have no problem
staying the fuck away
from whatever the hell
you're doing here.
- Yeah, it's probably
our best bet.
Kit Carson works alone,
it's that simple.
- Okay, Rufus, my friend.
So we're at Father
Daven's Church.
How long have you worked here?
- Oh, three years now.
- You like it?
- Yeah, it's okay,
I mean, it's, ah,
it's better than where
I was before, so.
- Do you like Father
Draven? He's nice to you?
- Yeah, out of all
the fathers here,
he's, you know, he seems
to be more understanding.
- He didn't touch
your peepee, did he?
- No, man.
- I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
All right, so Rufus, what
you gonna show me, man?
- He's collected all
these artifacts, you know,
this strange stuff
over the years.
- Let me see, let me see.
- Yeah, it's right here.
- All right, cool.
So what are we showing here?
- This right here
is supposedly the chalice
they had at the, ah,
at the final event, so to speak.
- Seriously?
- Yeah, you know.
- All right, it looks
like cranberry juice,
probably from Chuck E. Cheese,
but you know, you never know.
- Oh yeah, whatever,
nonbelievers.
But also,
and this is one of the spikes.
- (gasps) Spike for?
- You know,
from the other event,
you know, the one that...
- What?
- Saved all our souls.
- [Hunk] No.
- What?
- Stop it.
Nice presentation.
What else we got?
- Oh, you're gonna love this.
Another one we got here.
- Thought I was like-
- He found this in the Honduras.
- What the, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Keep that, what the fuck?
But wait, keep it right there.
Keep her there.
What is that?
- [Rufus] I don't know, he
just found it somewhere in, ah-
- In Honduras.
- In Honduras, yeah.
- I ain't going there.
- Yeah, I know.
Well, who knows?
- All right, let's, ah,
let's get outta here.
- Okay.
- All right, Rufus, thanks.
So what else we got?
- [Rufus] Yeah.
- Voicemail again, of course.
Oh, Ricky, what's up? It's Kit.
Listen man, you
gotta call me back.
I sent you to get
footage for the church,
you haven't got back to me.
I had to go and do my
own rehearsal in there.
You know, what am I
paying you for, brother?
Just get back to me
when you get this.
Thanks, bye.
Pissed motherfucker.
(Kit exhaling heavily)
- I need some wine,
where is this wine?
Ooh, a microphone.
My husband is a douche
He thinks he has a big one
But he has a little one
'Cause I've had bigger
Yeah!
Oh, my wine, it's full of wine.
Yes!
What the hell?
(sudden ominous music)
(Faith screaming)
(doll thudding)
(Faith choking)
(soft tense music)
- So I was told this is one
of the most haunted
churches around, huh?
- Why do they call it haunted?
- I don't know, I
haven't been in church
in like seven
freaking years, man.
- All right, well,
let's go inside.
(gentle tense music)
- Hello gentlemen, I'm Father
Montoya, this is Sister Rosa
and I have been briefed for
the reason of your stay.
I have to insist that you
hand over your cellphones
to be locked down downstairs
in private keeping.
- Right.
(cellphone clattering)
Thanks.
- [Sister Rosa] In here please.
- What are you thanking her for?
You'd better pray she don't
see the shit you got on there.
(Wes chuckling)
Yep.
(cellphone clattering)
No phones, no
leaving, no problem.
- You wanna run rampant
through the church so soon?
- I wanna be left to do
my job without judgment.
I have a boss that pays
me for that inconvenience.
- Consider yourself lucky
to be previously
rewarded for judgment.
I doubt you'll find comfort
in what you find here.
- So I'm not getting paid
for this. What the fuck?
(Father Montoya tutting)
- Father Finnegan will
further assist you
while we bring these
phones downstairs.
(soft melodic music)
- What are you guys recording?
- Hold up, Father, doesn't
matter what we're recording,
we already talked
to you about this.
You do your job, be your
damn babysitter for us,
bring us to the promised land,
we'll take care of the rest.
- Hurry the hell out,
we don't got all day.
- Move.
- As you wish, however,
do remember my warning.
- Ooh, warning.
(door clicking)
(soft melodic music)
(door thudding)
Feel free to explore.
- All right, Father, go on,
Mr. Babysitter, get outta here.
Think about this place.
- It's bigger than I thought.
- Hey, I think this is where
they had those services
before the kids
went missing, right?
- Let's find out,
consider our show there.
- Yeah, I got a good
feeling about this place.
- Yeah.
(soft melodic music)
- You know, Zak,
(tripod clattering)
you know what's
really bothering me?
- What?
- How come there's no records
of any real
investigations in here.
- I guess the devil never
did happen in the house.
No knows, man, just no records.
- Did the kids testify at all?
- The kids never
testified either though.
most the other people
were prostitutes
like Jack the Ripper.
- So I wonder how come
they're allowing us
to be the first
crew to film here?
- Who cares? Let's be
grateful we can edit it.
- All right.
- Gentlemen, we're all here.
I'm glad we all could have this
penis-measuring
contest in public.
I like the jokes, but I'm not
in a joking mood right now
because the wife just left me.
Ah, don't say anything.
So here's what's gonna happen.
This is a competition.
You guys are all in competition
to be my ghost
host with the most,
my ghost host with
the most in minutia.
Hunk Edwards presents
"Paranormal Experiences."
Okay, stop drooling. Sound good?
You good, you
excited, you happy?
- Whoa, what do you
mean the next host?
- Competition, it's
not guaranteed that
you're gonna be in.
I want you guys to compete
against each other.
I want to see drama, I
wanna see action, okay?
You guys are going
to find me a ghost
with your ghost hunting skills.
But there are rules
and if you break them,
not only do you
forfeit the money,
I kick you in the balls
and leave you here.
As you can tell, the
windows are locked,
the doors are
locked for 24 hours.
I collected your cellphones,
'cause I don't want you to
have some jackass in a van
run through here with
a sheet over his head
pretending to be a ghost.
I want you guys
to do what you do.
What are you doing with that?
- [Kit] What?
- (sighing) Rule number
two. Come on, Kit.
- What are you talking about?
- I need your phone.
- Listen, don't look at any
pictures of my girlfriend.
- You will get your phone back.
- [Kit] Okay, Hunk.
- Unless your
girlfriend's really hot,
then maybe we'll do
something else with it.
Now, do we all
understand the rules now?
- You are unclean and unworthy.
(light switch clicking off)
(gentle tense music)
(Father Montoya choking)
(soft intense music)
(light switch clicking on)
- Man, I can't get over what
a bunch of babies they are.
Do you realize how
dramatic they are?
- That's why we need
to film our own shit.
- What do you mean?
- Well, I was thinking
about our talk
and I think you're
absolutely right,
Hunk had the other guy in,
right, so you can watch drama.
- Yeah, man, exactly. So
what are you thinking?
- Let's shoot our own footage
and give these guys a
few twists of our own.
- Wait a second, sabotage?
- Only if they fall for it.
Otherwise, it'll just enrich
their footage. Got it?
- Got it for sure. (laughing)
Look at this.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Padre, what
do you think you're doing?
- Oh, I'm sorry, I was,
never seen a TV crew before,
so I got a little curious.
- All right, don't
get too curious.
Don't touch our stuff or
else you're gonna be sorry.
- Okay, yeah, I
didn't mean no harm.
- [Zak] Who the hell are you?
- I'm Rufus, I'm
the deacon here.
- All right, Deacon Rufus,
I really don't care.
Next time you touch my stuff,
(flick knife clicking)
(Wes chuckling)
you're gonna be getting cut.
(soft melodic music)
- Sure.
- See you, Father. Get the
hell outta here. (laughing)
- Now, can you assure me that
you've instructed our guests
on the food prep in the kitchen
and the extra blankets
for their accommodations
in the rectory?
- Yes, Father, they've been
shown everything again,
as you asked.
However, I still feel that
this is a huge mistake.
- Well, how so, Father?
- Well, can I say
something, Father?
Well, 'cause these people
here, they're just sinners,
just sinners all around,
and you know, this place
already has a bad vibe to it
and they're just stirring
it up and making it worse.
- Well then, let's just
let them stir away.
You know, we've provided
them our guidance
and now the sheep will
stray to stranger pastures,
as they often do.
Good enough. I'll
be leaving now.
(soft melodic music)
- What the hell is this?
- I heard something drop before.
- Don't tell me that
we missed this room.
How the heck do we know
there's paranormal activity
going on in here?
We should've stayed here.
(tripod thudding)
- I don't know, man.
- All right, let's go get
some of these levels, man.
- [Kit] What the fuck?
- Ah, crap.
- [Kit] What are you two fucking
doing in here without me?
- All right, boss, relax.
- Yeah, that's right, I am
the boss, don't forget it.
I don't trust either one of you
that you know what
you're fucking doing.
- Okay.
- Don't touch shit.
Just put it down.
- All right, boss.
- You're this close.
- All right, I hear you, boss.
- You big fuck, not
so much him, you.
- [Wes] What the heck
is it with you and me?
I didn't do nothing.
- What's with me and you?
I'm telling you, dude,
you're this fucking
close, keep it up.
Zak, keep your boy in check.
Keep it the fuck up.
- All right, boss,
have a good day, boss.
- Yeah, eat a bag of dicks.
- You see that?
- That's right.
- Look at this.
I put everything on camera.
That's all we need do, done.
- So wanna watch a movie?
- No, I don't feel like it.
- What's the matter?
- Well, this whole thing
is just, I don't like it,
I don't like what's
going on here.
You know, these people
here, they're, you know,
they're just gonna
make everything worse.
And I'm already
seeing shadow people
and, and also, like lately,
I've been seeing this nun.
- Who, Sister Rosa?
- No, not Sister Rosa, this,
this is something like,
I don't know, I
can't explain it,
but I don't like the feeling,
you know, whenever I see her.
I see her in the hallway
and one night, I was gonna
go pray in the sanctuary
and I saw her go in there
and I, I don't know, something
is just not right here
and, and everybody here
just seems to make it worse.
And I've been trying to
tell you, but you know,
I've been trying to tell
everybody but they don't listen.
- Whoa!
I'm sorry to hear that.
It seems like you're
really bothered by this.
- Yes, I am and even
more bothered by the fact
that no one just seems
to care, you know.
- I'm sorry.
I'll make sure that I try to
be a little bit more involved.
Tell you what, why don't you
stay here, relax a little bit.
I'm gonna go say a prayer and
close up for the night, okay?
- Fine.
(door clicking)
(haunting piano music)
(door clicking)
(door thudding)
- Father Thorn?
(haunting piano music)
Father Thorn.
I thought you left long ago.
What are you doing here?
Father?
Answer me!
(air whooshing)
(haunting piano music)
(Father Finnegan
groaning in pain)
(bones cracking)
(soft ominous music)
(Father Thorn laughing)
- Mick, Mick, come over here.
- Hey, what's up,
what's going on?
- Hold this, hold this.
- Yeah.
- I was thinking
let's do our own show,
our own scenes and stuff.
Walk around the church,
see what we can find,
try to win that 5 K
prize, what do you think?
- Yes, yes.
- We can split it 50/50?
- Nice.
- You cool with that?
- Yeah, sounds good to me.
- Okay.
- What about your boy, Wes?
- Ah, fuck Wes!
- Ah.
- Sick of carrying that
bloated wannabe ass.
- (laughing) Yeah.
- All right, so let's
do the show, me and you,
get the scenes that we
see, anything suspicious.
Split that prize 50/50.
- Okay.
- That sound good to you?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- All right, so let's
start in the basement.
- [Mick] All right,
let's do this.
- All right, I'll see you there.
- All right, cool.
- All right.
- I'll see you in a bit.
(soft haunting music)
- [Kit] Zak, what are you doing?
- Whoa, man, he had
the best angles,
I go where the money's at.
- [Kit] I thought you
were the good one.
- I got the pre-show right here.
What are you gonna
do about that?
- Screw you.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Whoa, whoa, ass hat!
- What are you doing, man?
Hey, let go, you're
gonna break his arm.
- Yeah, that's the point, bro.
- Whoa.
- Get the hell off
of me, bastard!
- Oh, the studio's gonna love
this, abusing your employees.
Very professional, kitty cat.
- [Kit] Screw you.
- [Zak] You're done, pretty
boy. I'll see you court.
- Come on, Zak.
Wes, where you going?
We got a show to do!
- Where am I going?
I'm out and I quit.
I had to deal with them too.
Oh, and by the way, boss, I
have everything on footage
of you on stage,
threatening to hit us.
Good job, boss. Now I have
everything that I need.
- Come on, this is the
biggest show of my life.
Son of a bitch!
Rufio, it's just me and
you, big guy. Let's do it.
- First of all,
it's Rufus and no.
- [Kit] That's what's happening.
- You guys are, you
guys are all greedy
and I don't want
no part of this.
- My man.
- It's just so much greed.
You know, it's crap.
- Greed is good.
You never saw "Wall Street?"
I'll make you rich, brother!
Come on.
You know what? I
don't even need you.
I'm Kit Carson, I am the show!
Motherfucker!
(soft tense music)
(Father Thorn sighing heavily)
(soft tense music)
- What are you doing, Father?
And where's the child?
- I made the child go away
and not only that,
but I made the evil go away!
Behold, I'm a eunuch!
Ah, the essence of
Sister Rosa. (sniffing)
(Father Draven gasping)
- You, you monster!
(Father Thorn laughing)
What have you done?
(Father Thorn laughing)
(soft tense music)
Who is evil now?
Oh, for the (indistinct)!
(weapon thudding)
- Oh, you're a sinner!
(weapon thudding)
(weapon thudding)
No! (groaning)
(weapon thudding)
You're a sinner!
(tense melodic music)
(weapon thudding)
(Father Thorn groaning)
(tense melodic music)
- Father!
(Father Draven sobbing)
(tense melodic music)
- I, too, am with sin, Father,
but I found a way to
make it stop as well.
- There is no saving me, Sister.
And what you are
doing is unholy!
- Come with me, Father.
I, too, am with sin, Father,
but I found a way to
make it stop as well.
I can show you how
to keep evil at bay,
protect the church
and save yourself.
- You say that,
there's no saving me, Sister.
And what you are
doing is unholy.
- Take your pants off, Father.
Darkness
- Take your pants off.
He's coming
- Do it.
Darkness
- Pray with me, Father Draven.
Then we will go to the basement.
I have something to show you.
I have little collection myself.
We are both with such great sin.
(both breathing deeply)
- Oh God, oh!
Darkness
He's coming
Darkness
- Sister Rosa, is that you?
Sister Rosa, where
are you going?
Are you, you okay?
Do you need help?
Sister Rosa, hey,
what are you doing?
(soft melodic music)
(singer vocalizing)
Where the hell are you going?
Sister Rosa, come on.
Are you okay down here?
(Mick sighing)
(footsteps thudding)
What are you doing?
Do you need help?
Sister Rosa.
Darkness
- [Mick] What the hell is this?
Sister Rosa, are you okay?
Do you need help?
Sister Rosa, what are you doing?
(sudden ominous music)
- Yes!
Take Samuel!
(Mick shrieking)
(Samuel laughing)
- (laughing) Kill
him, Samuel, kill him!
(Mick groaning)
Samuel, kill him!
(Father Thorn laughing)
- [Mick] Uh, oh, my God!
(Father Thorn laughing)
What the fuck?
- Ah, the turd baby is
killing you. (laughing)
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
(laughing) I turned
him into a turd baby!
- [Mick] Oh, it's
on my face, uh!
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
Oh, get the fuck off me!
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
Oh, my God! What the
fuck is this thing?
- (laughing) Kill
him, turd baby.
Kill him!
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
- [Demon] There
is no mercy here.
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
- [Mick] Oh, God!
Help me!
- [Demon] There
is no mercy here.
I forgive nothing. You will rot.
(Father Thorn laughing)
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
- Kill him.
Leave your turd marks on him.
Kill him!
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
(Father Thorn laughing)
- Faith.
Faith, there you are.
How drunk are you?
Why are you dressed like a nun?
Faith.
Wait, you're not my wife.
Have you seen my
wife, by any chance?
- Come a little further, my
child, I want to pray with you.
(objects clattering)
Are you alone?
- Yes.
I was looking for my wife
and you're obviously not-
- Your wife?
- [Hunk] Have you seen her?
(Hunk choking)
(Hunk thudding)
(demon laughing)
(demon speaking Latin)
(soft tense music)
(Sister Rosa laughing)
(demon speaking Latin)
(soft tense music)
(Hunk rasping)
(spike thudding)
(demon speaking Latin)
(soft tense music)
(Sister Rosa laughing)
(spike thudding)
(Sister Rosa gasping)
(Sister Rosa groaning loudly)
(demon speaking Latin)
(tense melodic music)
(Samuel laughing)
(soft tense music)
(Mick breathing heavily)
- Mick?
(objects clattering)
What the hell is that?
Mick, where are you?
(objects clattering)
Mick, what are you doing?
(weapon thudding)
(Zak choking)
- Are you the disbeliever?
(Zak choking)
Wishes won't save you.
(Zak thudding)
(demon speaking indistinctly)
- Faith!
(door clicking)
Faith!
(door thudding)
Faith!
Where the hell's my wife? Faith!
(soft tense music)
(drapes rattling)
(sudden ominous music)
(gasping) No!
(Hunk thudding)
(body thudding)
(flesh squelching)
- Help me.
(soft tense music)
(Hunk shrieking)
(door thudding)
- I can't believe Ricky's
gonna be overstaffed,
he's got me doing this stuff
myself, it's unbelievable.
You wanna do it right,
you gotta do it yourself.
You know what I'm talking about.
You're like the original hipster
with the long hair and
the beard, I'm digging it.
I'll tell you what, you help
me make this show a hit,
I'm gonna stop banging hookers.
But maybe not tonight,
'cause I ordered her already.
She was expensive.
Oh God, I'm going
to hell for sure.
I'm not getting anything
in here, nothing.
I don't know what these
guys are talking about.
I'm starting not to
believe my own shit.
But I tell you what,
I'm still gonna make
a crap load of money,
no matter what,
'cause that's what I do.
Man, I'm not getting
anything in here.
This room's a bust.
Oh well.
(footsteps thudding)
- It's real, it's
real, come on, come on!
- Bro, you have a lot
of energy right now.
- I just killed a woman
who tried to strangle
the shit outta me
and my ex-wife,
like really ex-wife,
I just found in the other room.
We have to go.
Somebody is killing
people. Okay, let's go.
- Hunk, I want my money,
I'm not going anywhere.
- There is no money if
we're both dead, let's go!
- Huh, I had somebody
staking out this place
a couple days ago, they
never got back to me.
All of a sudden, you secured
it, how'd that happen?
Obviously, something's going on.
- Oh, my God.
- You think I'm an idiot?
- Now you are.
Obviously, my wife had
something to do with it.
I don't know, maybe
it's the same guy,
maybe he's picking us off.
I'm not gonna wait.
Let's go, Kit!
- Hunk, I'm not going anywhere,
I'll stay here by myself all
night, this is my show anyway.
- Somebody is killing-
- I'm making it.
- Somebody's killing
people, I actually did.
You don't have blood on
you, I trust you. Let's go!
- I'm right behind you, Hunk,
I'm right behind outta here.
(kit muttering)
Let me find another room.
- Oh, my God, Zak!
(Zak gasping softly)
Oh no, who did this to you?
Oh man, the evil's
getting stronger.
I should just warn everybody.
Forgive me.
Forgive me, Father.
(speaks Latin) Rest in peace.
- Man, I'm starting to
think this church is a dud.
I'm not getting EMF anywhere.
(door clicking)
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up, Padre?
- Are you still here?
We gotta get outta here.
Your whole team is dead!
- Padre, really, you too,
they roped you into it too?
- No, nobody roped
me into anything.
Look, one of them, one of
them is down there, I saw him.
You gotta come see,
come see for yourself.
- You're serious?
- [Rudus] Yes, come on.
- Padre, I'm trusting you, man.
You got no reason to lie to me.
- [Rufus] I don't, now come on.
(fist thumping)
- Father, hello!
(door clicking)
- Yes?
- Oh, good, you're
here, you're here.
I need my phone, I
need my phone, come on.
- Are are you having
technical difficulty?
- What? No, people are
dead, my wife is dead!
Somebody's
responsible, obviously!
- Slow down, slow down now.
(Hunk breathing heavily)
Look, maybe you should
sit down and explain to me
the meaning of
what's going on here?
- I'm not gonna sit.
I think one of your nuns
actually attacked me
and I had to,
I don't know what I did!
- All right, clearly
you're upset, son.
So let's discuss this.
Um, find out what's going on,
so we're all on the same
page before we go forward.
I don't wanna be giving
back any phones until we-
- Here's the page.
- Know what's going on.
- Somebody's killing people.
- Hm.
- We have to go.
Follow me and I'll show you
exactly where the bodies are.
- Okay.
- Come on
- First, I think we should
consult the good book.
(book thudding)
(Hunk thudding)
(soft tense music)
This church is cursed.
I brought you here hoping
you would satisfy its hunger,
but it didn't work.
I know now
that it's strong,
stronger than ever before.
If the faculty was ever
to find out about this,
I would lose my house
of worship here,
that I've worked
my life to build.
You,
you were supposed
to make this go away,
finally, end this curse!
But I'm afraid that's
never going to happen.
You see,
I became interested in
demonology back in the seminary,
and I've traveled
the world collecting
many cursed unholy items.
There they were in my
collection in the basement.
I questioned him
about the children,
but I knew that he
was too far gone.
- You know you're insane, right?
You're too far gone.
And listen, Father, let's
stop this, stop it right here.
I'll help you.
- You, you speak the
truth, I understand.
But this is way too powerful.
And if necessary, I
will sacrifice myself
to end this evil!
- Father, I will help you.
Let's, let's stop it
together, come on.
You know I'm right.
You're not a bad man,
but that nun's bad and
I can help stop it!
- Not gonna happen.
It's not gonna happen.
It will take everything I have
to defeat what
I've created here.
- You're a fool, Father.
- Bless us, Father, although
I do sin in your name!
But I must save our church.
(Samuel laughing)
Damn you, Samuel!
Damn you!
(gun firing)
Damn you to hell!
(Samuel laughing)
Damn you, Samuel!
Damn you!
I only knew tonight for sure!
(demon whispering indistinctly)
(Father Draven groaning)
(sudden ominous music)
- Come on, he's right here.
- Oh, God!
Zak, buddy!
I told you you should've
stayed with me, man.
Fuck!
(Samuel laughing)
(soft tense music)
What the fuck is that?
(demon laughing)
What the fuck are
you laughing at?
(kick thudding)
Shut up!
(Samuel thudding)
- [Rufus] Wow, man, where
the fuck did you learn that?
- Kung fu.
- [Rufus] Yeah.
- [Kit] Now what, bitch?
- [Rufus] Do you believe me now?
- [Kit] Yeah, I believe
we need to get outta here.
- [Rufus] Only way
out now is there.
- Oh, Rufus, right here!
This door, it's not secure,
we can get outta here!
(door clicking)
Let's go, let's go.
Come on, come on, we gotta
get outta here, let's go!
- [Demon] Come with me, child.
- That's not your hand, bro.
(demon growling)
What the fuck is that?
Get me, get me outta here!
What is with this fucking place?
(door thudding)
Jesus!
- I told you there's something
wrong with this place.
That had to be what killed Zak.
- I know, you told me.
- Yeah.
Here, other way, down this hall.
- All right, you look.
- [Rufus] I'm not
going by myself, no.
- Here we go, Rufus,
we got up to top floor.
- Yeah.
- Get outta here.
Hunk.
Hunk, you're alive, man!
Listen, Zak is dead.
- Oh!
- Zak is dead, we found hin!
- Rufus. Okay.
- What is that?
- This is how you
kill them, I told you.
Come on, let's get outta here.
- I have a key.
- Come on.
- We can unlock the door.
- Let's go.
- Come on, come on, hey,
unlock the door, come on!
Oh!
(sudden ominous music)
(heartbeat thudding)
- Nope.
No. I'm messing with a baby?
I ain't fucking with
this, I'm outta here.
- Carson!
(door handle rattling)
- Come on.
Fucker!
(footsteps thudding)
(door clicking)
(door thudding)
- [Demon] Help us.
- Go, go!
- [Rufus] Follow me.
(footsteps thudding)
(soft tense music)
Come on.
(demon growling)
(footsteps thudding)
(both breathing heavily)
- [Hunk] Rufus!
- [Rudus] Come on.
Hide!
(door thudding)
(soft tense music)
- All right, guys.
I am downstairs in the basement.
I have no freaking
idea where anybody is.
I really don't care.
I don't know where my
boss is, he's an asshole.
I'm happy he's not here.
I don't know where
my partner is now.
I hope he is dead
because I can't find him
and he's pissing me off.
I don't really care.
All right, here we go.
I heard there's some creepy shit
going down here in the basement
and I hope I find something.
But if there is something,
if you pop at me,
I'm gonna be pissed off.
(light switch clicking off)
I don't know why these
lights just went off.
That was kind of
freaky for a second,
but guys, just keep following
me, we will be okay.
We are wandering in this
cold ass basement now
that just got cold
all of a sudden,
and all of a sudden.
Zak, Zak, wake up, man,
what are you doing?
Zak!
Wake up!
Let's go, we gotta go.
- [Demon] You are not safe.
- Hello?
(object thudding)
Hey!
I'm not scared of you.
(soft tense music)
- I locked the damn door.
Oops!
All right, what do we do?
- [Rufus] Just run, get
outta here! I got it.
- Rufus!
(tense upbeat music)
- Hi, I'm not afraid
of you anymore.
(tense upbeat music)
- [Hunk] Rufus, get outta here!
(Rufus groaning)
(flesh squelching)
(Rufus yelling in pain)
(demon laughing)
(door clicking)
- Mick!
There you are.
(door thudding)
You got some
explaining to do, man.
Hey, Mick, turn around, man.
Mick, I'm talking to you.
Mick, turn around!
My best friend's
dead downstairs!
I want you to turn around now!
You're not Mick, who
the hell are you?
What happened to my
best friend, Zak?
He's dead downstairs, you
know anything about that?
- Rufus, help me up!
(Rufus groaning)
- My friend, he got
sliced, his throat.
You know what I
think about that?
All right, buddy, you know what?
You're gonna feel the
pain of what he felt.
(flick knife clicking)
You ready to have some fun?
(soft tense music)
(knife clattering)
Oh, that's how you
wanna play it, huh?
So we'll do that.
(blows thudding)
(soft intense music)
(blows thudding)
(Wes grunting)
(bones crunching)
(Wes grunting)
(demon growling)
(soft tense music)
- Ah!
What's happening?
(Hank muttering)
It's my show!
Ah!
(spike thudding)
(demon screeching)
(fire roaring)
(soft tense music)
(demon screeching)
Thank you!
(soft melodic music)
Hm?
I got it all.
Oh, boy!
Yes, 911, hi, how you
doing this fine day?
(gasping) There's been
murders and there's a fire
at Father Draven's Church.
Please, the man responsible,
his name is Kit Carson.
Please come!
(soft melodic music)
That's one hell of a show.
(door creaking)
- Oh, he killed that bitch.
I'll give it to everybody today.
I'll beat you.
(Samuel laughing)
(door thudding)
(fire roaring)
(soft tense music)
- Kit, who was it then?
Who killed all those people?
- It was the nun.
- Who, who?
(Kit rasping)
- Damn psychopath!
- What's happening to him?
- Fucking nut!
- Oh my God!
We need to restrain him!
Restrain him!
- Oh! (choking)
- Shit, you just killed her!
You're just, oh, my
God, somebody help!
Help, help!
(Whitney choking)
- It's okay, it's okay.
(Whitney choking)
Darkness
(demon speaking Latin)
He's coming
(flesh squelching)
Darkness
(demon speaking Latin)
(soft ominous music)
(demon speaking Latin)
- Welcome to my
underground podcast,
"Bloody Nun:
Fact or Fiction?"
Each week, we talk
to two people,
one that believes in the
Bloody Nun, one that doesn't.
This week, I have Father Rufus,
who encountered the Bloody Nun.
Father Rufus, are
you there with me?
I wanna know
everything about this.
- My encounter
with the Bloody Nun
was the most traumatizing
thing I've ever experienced.
I mean,
I almost lost more than
just my eye, you know,
that's just how bad it was,
how bad it was getting.
Look, I always knew that the
church was a little haunted,
you know, how they like to say
about old buildings and stuff.
You know, the occasional
noise here and there
just didn't bother me at all.
But then when Father Draven got
back from his Honduras trip,
the one he does every year like,
like almost like to
the absolute letter,
like it was that predictable.
But this time,
this time, it just
felt different,
especially when he
brought back that,
this weird-looking doll thing.
I don't know where, I don't
know where he found that from,
but outside of the
occasional noise, you know,
and a tremor here and there.
But I started to see
out the corner of my eye
like what looks like,
what looked like a nun.
And actually, it was
this eye here, you know,
the one that she would
eventually rip out.
But yeah, a little
joke there, but...
(soft tense music)
I don't know, at first, I
thought it was Sister Rosa
just wandering around at night
and I would follow her down
the hallway calling after her.
She wouldn't answer,
she would just go right
into the sanctuary.
And when I'd get
in there after her,
it was like she
disappeared into thin air.
And there would be nights,
where I would be just praying
alone in the sanctuary
and I would feel like
somebody was watching me.
And I would look up and I
would occasionally just see
this figure of a nun.
- Well, God bless
you, Father Rufus.
Now to my next guest,
the non-believer.
He publicly has spoken about
Bloody Nun and Father Rufus
saying that this is all a hoax
and somehow, they're
making money off of this.
(soft tense music)
I don't know.
Well, let's go to Frank and
hear what Frank has to say
and see if it's fact or fiction.
- First of all, I heard
Father Rufus and what he said.
Excuse me, Father, but
you're a liar, you're a liar.
You're a good showman,
I'll give you that,
the gift of preaching to
your dedicated congregation
fooled them, but not me.
Angry?
I'm not angry.
His little fantasy
story is covering
for one of his psycho disciples.
I believe he is part of a cult.
He dressed someone
up as the Bloody Nun
and had them murder
people for attention
and offer last rites.
- Hm, that's some allegations
you got there, Frank.
Well, what do you
have to back that up?
- What proof do I have?
My backing,
my gun.
I'm taking the law
into my own hands.
Father Rufus is lying,
protecting someone.
This is all to make him
look like a superior being,
and almighty, the Bloody Nun
for all we know could be him,
cross-dressing, acting
out an abusive past.
The Bloody Nun is not real.
I'm gonna prove
it, I'm going to,
- Oh boy! And that's
enough for this week.
And enough of Frank.
Well, as usual, two very,
very different opinions
on the Bloody Nun, one
believes, one doesn't.
Now, I gotta deal
with the sheriff
and talk about what Frank
was threatening to do.
So until next week, when
in church and praying,
don't close your eyes too tight,
because when you open them,
the Bloody Nun may
be in front of you
and offer you your last rites.
Well, be safe
and be careful of "The
Bloody Nun: Fact or Fiction."
- "Things, judge of all
men, we knowledge and bewail
our manifold sins
and wickedness,
which we from time to time,
most grievously have committed
by thought, word, and deed
against thy divine majesty,
provoking most justly thy wrath
and indignation against us.
We do earnestly repent
and are heartily sorry
for all of our misdoings.
The remembrance of them
is grievous unto us.
The burden of them is
intolerable. Have mercy upon us.
Have mercy upon us,
most merciful Father."
For I have seen the true evil
that has overtaken our church.
(tense melodic music)
- [Eddie] Hello, my name is
Eddie, the conspiracy guy,
and I wanna talk about
the latest conspiracy
that I've been following,
the massacre that took
place up in New York,
where all those ghost
hunters got killed
by some coked-out
TV host, Kit Carson.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
is with heavy hearts
that we report on
a tragic incident
involving Hollywood
megastar, Kit Carson.
The acclaimed actor, known for
his larger-than-life roles,
has taken a shocking turn.
Reports indicate that Kit,
while filming a
scene in a church,
had a sudden and
terrifying breakdown.
Witnesses say he
became unhinged,
turning on his
own cast and crew.
The unimaginable unfolded
as a once thriving movie set
became a scene of chaos.
As authorities investigate
this tragic event,
we can't help but
mourn the loss of lives
and the impact this will have
on the entertainment industry.
Kit Carson, once the
darling of Hollywood,
has now become the center
of a dark and haunting tale.
- A ghost hunting show
turned into a murder show.
Kit Carson, everyone's
favorite ghosting show host,
has been accused of murder.
Well, I personally always
knew the guy was scum.
He gives us real paranormal
investigators a bad name.
- Kit Carson, that
nigger is tweaking.
That nigger don't even
get down like that.
Me and that nigger been
down since the sandbox
riding that nigger on
the top of my bike.
Like, y'all whiling.
If y'all think y'all
know that man history,
y'all tweaking, y'all tweaking,
y'all need to do your homework.
The man would never
do no shit like that.
Get the fuck outta here.
- Hello, everyone, Hal North
here reporting on a story
that saw local urban legend
turned to real life tragedy.
TV personality and
ghost-chasing host, Kit Carson
was allegedly doing a show
or some kind of contest
in a community church overnight
to address the
stories of hauntings
connected to church members
that had gone missing
over the years.
The church has a history
of paranormal activity,
but this is the first time
the supposed ghost hunters
were investigating the premises.
Now, the church
had previously kept
ghost hunters and gawkers out,
only allowing regular
congregation in for services,
even keeping a list of
members in recent years
due to troubles with rumors
of disturbances from staff,
both living and deceased.
Nothing was ever proven and
some of the missing folks
were said to have
been local vagrants
not even connected
with the church.
No bodies were ever found or
charges made against the staff,
that is, until today.
We do not have full details,
as this is an
active investigation
and no names have
been released yet,
but a phone call was
made to authorities
by a producer of the
show that was filming,
that Kit Carson was killing
people inside the building.
When police and emergency
responders arrived,
they found several
deceased individuals
and took Mr. Carson
into custody.
He is now being
held without bail.
We eagerly await further
details in this situation.
We'll update all of
you as we know more.
- Bridget, I can't
believe you got me
my first exclusive interview
with a TV star,
gone murderer, grr!
- Anytime, sweetie.
- Hm. Quick question.
Is it gonna be safe
in there with him?
- I have him tied up tighter
than a virgin on prom night.
If he tries out anything, I'm
gonna shoot him with my gun
just like a raccoon
on a garbage can.
- (laughing) You're
such a badass, Bridget.
- Mm-hm.
- I feel so
safe with you.
I owe you one.
- You sure do.
What about we go
out for that drink
like you've been promising?
You can swing by my place
and I'll show you my gun.
- Ooh! (laughing)
I like guns.
- Well, I have a
really nice gun.
- Well, I'm free tomorrow night.
- Mm-hm.
Tight ass.
You better be ready to talk.
- Kit Carson, I'm Whitney Smart
and I'm here so you can
tell your side of the story.
- Oh my God, you gotta
get me outta here.
I didn't kill anyone.
- Okay, well, Kit, I
need you to tell me
everything that happened
in the church last night
and I mean everything.
- I'll tell you everything.
Is that recorder on?
- [Whitney] Yes.
- It wasn't me
- Kit, who was it then?
Who killed all those people?
- It was the nun.
- [Whitney] Hm?
(soft tense melodic music)
Darkness
He's coming
Darkness
He's coming
Darkness
He's coming
Darkness
He's coming
(soft tense melodic music)
(singer vocalizing)
(soft tense melodic
music continues)
Darkness
He's coming
Darkness
- [Father Draven] As we all
know, times have been hard here
for our fledgling
little house of worship.
- Yes, Bishop, but we must
have faith in the Lord.
- And you've always
had the strongest faith
among us, Sister Rosa.
- Hm.
- However, due to an
insufficient congregation,
I've had to make
somewhat of a deal.
We'll be having guests tonight.
- Guests?
- The fact is we'll be
hosting a production crew
for a TV show that
will be dealing
with somewhat paranormal
subject matter.
- Paranormal, in the
house of the Lord?
- There are no ghosts here,
Bishop, except the Holy Ghost.
- Well, the truth is,
the producer has donated
a very large sum of money,
we can use it to rebuild
and to bring in a
new congregation.
- But Bishop, this
is a house of God.
- We'll entertain our guests.
We'll let them do their TV show
and please prepare accordingly.
(light melodic music)
- I wonder who that twat is.
- I think she wants to be
the producer of the next gig.
- I thought the church
was our next gig.
- It is, but I think
she wants to produce it.
(light melodic music)
- What is this,
your casting couch?
- Hey, Faith.
- Nice to see you again, Kit.
Sorry my business partner,
Hunk, couldn't be here.
You know, producers, directors,
you know how they are.
- Hunk? (laughs)
That's a douchey name.
- Listen, Kit, we have the
greatest opportunity for you.
- Oh, opportunity for me?
- Mm-hm.
- Cool, let's hear it.
- Well, we wanna
make the biggest
ghost hunting TV
show of all time.
- I'm listening.
- Okay, we wanna take
a bunch of filmmakers,
put them in a haunted
location overnight.
Whoever has the best footage
is the big winner, baby.
We wanna make this show
big, hosted by you.
We want you to be the face.
We wanna show
people who you are.
We want you to participate
in the first episode.
We're gonna dig up whoever
that we feel is right,
which Hunk is doing right now.
(light melodic music)
Listen, Kit, I know
about the church.
- Yeah, the church is
my next investigation.
I have people staking
it out right now,
I'll know the ins and outs
of that place any minute.
But it's on the hush
hush, 'cause no one's
filmed there yet.
- We want a piece of the pie.
The church is the best
location for the first episode.
This is what I'm
willing to offer you,
that includes the percentage
and the backend, of course.
- The backend? Only one
getting the backend is me.
And if you want me
now, it's a extra 50 K,
and you get 20% of the
sales, I'm the cash cow.
- Standard is 50%.
- I don't give a shit
about any standard.
That's the deal, you
take it or you leave it.
- It's a deal.
- Nice, Faith, as always,
it's good working with you.
- This is gonna be
the biggest show ever.
- Of course it is.
I'm in it.
- [Wes] Boss, we need to talk.
- Hey, what's up guys?
- All right.
- Hold on, hold on a second,
I'm on the Instagram.
These kittens, crazy.
All right, cool, what's up?
- Go ahead.
- Okay, so I was just
discussing with Zak.
- [Kit] This is Zak?
- Yeah, boss.
- [Kit] Okay, cool, cool,
cool. Go ahead, go ahead.
- Okay, we were discussing
that since we're basically
doing all the work
and you're not there, obviously,
maybe a $5,000 raise
would be kind of nice.
- Ah, that's why you came
in, you want a raise?
- Yeah.
- You should have said that
when you first came in.
Are you kidding me? Absolutely.
What do you want, 500,
500,000, maybe a million?
Let me reach out to production,
we'll get you $2 million.
How about that, how's
that sound? Two million.
- Okay, boss, all right, okay.
- Sit down.
- Oh, you wanna go
there, tough guy?
You want a fucking job tomorrow?
I'll give you a fourth
offer for both of you.
Get the fuck out.
- Come on, let's go. Sorry.
- You wanna be me,
you wanna be me money?
- All right, sorry.
- Get fucking better looking.
How about that?
(soft eerie music)
- Wow, the boss is
gonna love this.
(soft eerie music)
Oh, check this out.
Man, this is crazy.
Oh, he's gonna love this.
(soft eerie music)
Yeah.
(soft eerie music)
What the?
Oh, my God!
Whoa! What is going on here?
(soft eerie music)
Oh, look at this.
Ooh, ow! Man, that is sharp.
(soft eerie music)
(baby laughing)
(soft eerie music)
Wait, Sister.
Who's there?
(soft eerie music)
Sister?
Where'd you go?
(soft eerie music)
Sister?
Sister, wait.
Sister, where are you going?
- [Demon] Come to me, child.
Let us wash the sin
away with blood.
We must pray.
I forgive nothing.
You will rot.
(soft eerie music)
- Wow!
You are good looking.
(soft melodic music)
Jesus.
No, no, no, it's not contacts,
that is my eye color.
I know, I know.
It's amazing, I know.
Yeah, been in the
business for years.
You, my friend, are number one.
That's why you get the
percentage you get.
That's why you make
the money you make,
'cause you are the top dog.
Women love you.
Men want to be you.
You're fancy.
You're happy.
You're great in bed.
I think so.
That's right, my friend.
The sky's the limit this year,
sky is the limit.
- Hey, Hunk, what's going on?
Did you get those people
that we were talking about?
Guess what, I got Kit.
Yeah, unfortunately
it was only 20%,
but we got the church gig.
- Hey.
- We're gonna be rich, baby.
- Hey, come on.
- Hold on.
- I gotta lock up.
What are you doing in the dark?
- Who the fuck are you?
- I'm Wes.
- And?
- And get the fuck
out, we gotta lock up.
- Go fuck yourself.
- All right, tight
ass, hurry up.
- Go fuck yourself.
Yeah, I don't know, some dude
told me he's gotta lock up,
so I'm gonna go, babe,
but I'll see you at home.
Get the champagne ready.
Bye, love you.
(gentle melodic music)
- Oh, this place is
gonna put me on the map.
Oh, you must be
Father Draven, hi.
- Hello, how are you?
- How you doing?
- Welcome.
- I'm Hunk Edwards,
we spoke on the phone.
- Okay.
I recall and I think you'll find
that we're all
ready for your show.
- That's great, I
hope you don't mind,
my crew and I have to
put cameras everywhere.
This is gonna be a 24-hour
challenge, it's gonna be great.
- Hm, well, that all
sounds very good.
Um, you do whatever
you need to do.
Ah, you'll find me in
my office if you need me
and if there's any of
your personal items
that need to be locked up,
you should let me know,
we'll put them in there.
- That's great.
- Now, if you recall,
as we discussed,
my collection is in the basement
and I would remind you again
to be very, very careful
with those items, okay.
Other than that,
have a good evening.
I'll see you in the morning
to let everyone out.
- Great, I really love
a great show and tell.
- A show and tell?
Well, I'm sure you'll find
this is a show and tell
that you're unlikely
to ever forget.
(gentle melodic music)
- So this is where the
unsuspecting community
would gather every Sunday
morning before services,
unaware they were contributing
more to predator than prayer.
- What are you doing here,
you rotten scoundrel?
- I don't have any
problems, Faith.
- I fired you, you
have no business here!
- Maybe you should go ask Hunk.
- Maybe I will.
- I've got work to do.
Da da da
- Faith, baby!
- "Faith, baby?" No,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
- But what, oh?
- I just saw Mick outside.
What is Mick doing
here? I fired him.
Seriously, you hired
him behind my back?
- I hired him
because he's awesome,
and 'cause they hate each other,
Kit and Mick don't
like each other.
- He's incompetent, I
fired him for a reason.
- Well, yeah.
- I'm the one
who got Kit, okay, I'm the
one who has the money, okay.
You did things behind my back
and constantly do
things behind my back
and I'm sick of it!
- Listen, I'm trying to make
this money because I love you.
We need to have
some money, right?
- No.
- No drama.
- You do things behind
my back constantly
and I'm tired of it, I am done!
And who were you
talking to before?
- Oh, that's Father Draven.
He let me into the church.
Father Draven, a priest,
a pastor, BlitzPrison.
- Preacher?
- The preacher, the
pastor, the monkey,
the guy who let me in there.
- The monkey? No, he's a monk
and I'm the one who drinks.
Gee, I wonder why I drink.
Look who I'm married to.
- What do you drink?
- I don't trust you anymore.
- What do you do?
- After this week, I'm done.
You get it? Without
me, you've nothing.
- 'Cause I hired Mick, I'm done?
- Yes.
- I'm trying to make us money.
- Because you do things
behind my back, that's why!
- To make us money.
- No, no.
- I love you.
- No, I don't trust you.
I am done.
- Seven figures,
that's what I'm doing.
- Where's my flask? You
took my flask, didn't you?
- Why would I take your flask?
It's the only way I could go-
- Because I had it in the car.
I had it in the car and
now it's gone, you took it.
- Darling, I would give
you your flask if I had it.
'cause it'd make you pleasant.
- You know what?
I'm sick of this, we're
done, I'm finished.
- But babe, go get
some church wine
right down there.
- You know, maybe I will.
- I just told you.
- Because we are
finished. Goodbye.
- You're really leaving,
Faith, over that?
I'm Hunk.
I got a big one, you know that,
I got a big dick and
you are gonna miss it.
- I really need a drink.
(gentle melodic music)
(door clicking)
Okay, where is the wine?
(drawers thudding)
No wine there.
(drawers thudding)
I don't know what that is.
(door clicking)
Any wine here?
Oh, come on, I
really need a drink.
(door thudding)
Seriously?
(door thudding)
No wine in here. (sighing)
(door thudding)
(Faith sighing heavily)
The closet. Please
let there be wine.
(door thudding)
- Excuse me, is there
something I can help you with?
- Oh, Sister Rosa,
I was wondering
if you had any other old wine?
I need it for a prop for a scene
that we're doing
for the TV show.
- I know we have a collection
of very old things downstairs.
I suppose the wine there
would be old as well.
I don't know if that helps.
- Ah, thank you so much.
- Bless and keep you, Faith.
(Hunk whistling tunefully)
- How are you?
- Oh!
- I thought I'd stop in and
check on your progress here.
- You scared me there,
Father, how you doing?
Um, this is what
we're setting up,
we're setting up little cameras
that have 24-hour battery access
so we can watch everybody
at the same time
and make sure that
they are not cheating.
- Oh, my goodness,
I've never seen
this kind of a setup before.
This is an awful lot of
technology going on here.
- It's a awful lot of money too.
But it is a Hunk
Edwards production
and that means Hunk
Edwards Productions,
I'm Hunk, so it's good.
- All right, well, we're
certainly counting on you
doing a good job here.
- Thank you.
Thank you, man.
- I think you'll find the
subject matter quite intriguing.
- Which, (sighing) okay, I
gotta ask because it's the show,
but have you seen like
anything weird here,
like have you seen a ghost?
- Ghosts?
- I know, I know, I know.
- No, there's no ghosts.
- I don't believe in ghosts,
but we could try to
make one of those.
(Father Draven chuckling)
Yeah, maybe in post.
But still, anyway.
- I'm sure you'll have
enough to work with.
- That's good, I like that.
- Hm.
- Hunk Edwards loves it.
I'm talking in the third
person, I don't know why.
- Well, good luck this evening.
- Thank you, thank
you, my friend.
(gentle melodic music)
- Father Thorn, it's
come to my attention
by some of the parents
here in the parish
that their children
have been coming home
with, with bruises and-
- Not me!
It's a couple of bullies
in the playground,
but that's about it.
- Well, it's been my
experience, Father Thorn,
that if there's bullies
in the playground,
the children usually
say something
to the parents about that.
In this case, the children,
they seem to be traumatized.
I've known you a long time
and I will, I will
defend you if I can,
but if there's anything
happening to these children
at your hands,
please, please tell me,
so I know.
- No, no.
By the grace of God, no!
I've been especially
really nice to the children
and I've been really nice
to them for 50 years.
There hasn't been one
single complaint on me.
I don't know what they, they,
maybe there's a few
that have it in for me.
I don't understand.
- Well, I'd like to find that
out if, if they're lying,
I, I wanna get to the bottom
of this, but right now-
- Bring a kid here.
- Father Thorn,
I've known you for a long time
and I've noticed a change
in your demeanor as of late.
And I mean, have you any
trouble going on in your life?
- [Father Thorn] No.
- Look, Father Thorn,
it's only a matter of time
before the truth comes out
and that is my job,
is to find the truth.
Now, one last time,
have you any idea
how these children
are being abused?
- No, I don't
and I don't like these bullshit
accusations on me, okay!
- I think you should
leave, Father Thorn.
I will take over on this.
- Good riddance! I've
had it with here.
Go ahead, Father.
- And God help you, sir.
- Welcome.
- Hey!
What's up, Padre? How are you?
- I'm good. Who are you?
- Who am I? I'm Kit Carson.
- Oh, you're with the ghost
hunter team that's here, right?
- I am the team, Father.
- Okay, well, right this way.
All right.
So this is our church
here and you know...
- Good stuff.
I gotta do one of these,
Padre, before I walk in?
- Oh no, it's not necessary,
but you already did anyways.
- I'm just messing with
you. I used to be Catholic.
- Oh, nice.
- No, no, I'm still
Catholic. Not really.
- Okay.
Well, you're welcome
here regardless, so.
- Yeah, I appreciate it.
- [Rufus] Yeah, and um-
- [Kit] I'm surprised
I'm not melting yet,
you know what I mean? (laughing)
Scary in here a
little bit for me.
- [Rufus] Yeah, okay, sure.
Okay, so right this way.
- [Kit] That's a
handsome robe you got.
- Oh, thank you, yeah.
- Get a little footage of you,
you know what I mean?
- Oh, okay, cool.
- [Kit] And tell me your story.
- Okay.
(door clicking)
- [Kit] All right, let's meet
the team of this shindig.
- Yeah, they're right,
oh, they're right here.
- [Hunk] Oh, my goodness,
it's Kit Carson.
- What are you doing
here? And who's this guy?
- It, it's Kit Carson.
Kit Carson, wow!
I'm Hunk Edwards,
I'm the producer.
You met my wife, Faith.
She said nothing but
cool things about you.
Kit Carson, I can't believe it.
- You're Hunk?
- [Hunk] I'm Hunk,
yeah, yeah, man.
- Let me ask you a question.
- Anything, man.
- Who the fuck
calls himself Hunk?
- I do. (laughing)
- That's great.
- It's rock and roll, man.
- Rock and roll, yeah.
- I completely-
- How about you roll
the fuck outta here?
- I-I could do that, I could.
- Yeah, you're a hunk.
Listen, do me a favor,
get the fuck outta here,
so I can talk to him.
- Have you met Mick Bravo?
- I know Mick. Put the glasses
on, put the glasses on.
Oh, I see it.
- You see it?
- I see it. No, I don't,
get the fuck out, bro.
- [Hunk] Um, Mick,
I'll talk to you later.
- You still wearing the glasses?
- I, thank you, see
you, big fan. Do it.
- How's this gonna work?
These sleaze bags didn't tell me
how this was gonna roll out,
me and you in the same space.
It's not like we're the
best of friends anymore.
And I thought you got
banned from the network
and you were doing fucking
kid videos for likes.
- Trying to come up
with a game plan.
It's not my fault my vlog stats
dominate your weak
ass shit show.
- Listen, I'm setting up a turf.
You don't think we're gonna be
stepping all over each other?
And I'll tell you
what, I got no problem
dancing over your dead
body for five bucks.
- Profound words in
a church, Kit Kat.
- It's a haunted church, bitch.
- All right, listen, I'll take
the front, you get the back,
since you've already been,
you had your crew setting
up out there anyway.
- How about you take
the back, the way back,
like out of screen?
- [Mick] Ha, whatever,
sounds about right.
- This is my show, I
didn't ask you to be here.
I have no idea why
they brought you in.
I work alone.
- I have no problem
staying the fuck away
from whatever the hell
you're doing here.
- Yeah, it's probably
our best bet.
Kit Carson works alone,
it's that simple.
- Okay, Rufus, my friend.
So we're at Father
Daven's Church.
How long have you worked here?
- Oh, three years now.
- You like it?
- Yeah, it's okay,
I mean, it's, ah,
it's better than where
I was before, so.
- Do you like Father
Draven? He's nice to you?
- Yeah, out of all
the fathers here,
he's, you know, he seems
to be more understanding.
- He didn't touch
your peepee, did he?
- No, man.
- I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
All right, so Rufus, what
you gonna show me, man?
- He's collected all
these artifacts, you know,
this strange stuff
over the years.
- Let me see, let me see.
- Yeah, it's right here.
- All right, cool.
So what are we showing here?
- This right here
is supposedly the chalice
they had at the, ah,
at the final event, so to speak.
- Seriously?
- Yeah, you know.
- All right, it looks
like cranberry juice,
probably from Chuck E. Cheese,
but you know, you never know.
- Oh yeah, whatever,
nonbelievers.
But also,
and this is one of the spikes.
- (gasps) Spike for?
- You know,
from the other event,
you know, the one that...
- What?
- Saved all our souls.
- [Hunk] No.
- What?
- Stop it.
Nice presentation.
What else we got?
- Oh, you're gonna love this.
Another one we got here.
- Thought I was like-
- He found this in the Honduras.
- What the, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Keep that, what the fuck?
But wait, keep it right there.
Keep her there.
What is that?
- [Rufus] I don't know, he
just found it somewhere in, ah-
- In Honduras.
- In Honduras, yeah.
- I ain't going there.
- Yeah, I know.
Well, who knows?
- All right, let's, ah,
let's get outta here.
- Okay.
- All right, Rufus, thanks.
So what else we got?
- [Rufus] Yeah.
- Voicemail again, of course.
Oh, Ricky, what's up? It's Kit.
Listen man, you
gotta call me back.
I sent you to get
footage for the church,
you haven't got back to me.
I had to go and do my
own rehearsal in there.
You know, what am I
paying you for, brother?
Just get back to me
when you get this.
Thanks, bye.
Pissed motherfucker.
(Kit exhaling heavily)
- I need some wine,
where is this wine?
Ooh, a microphone.
My husband is a douche
He thinks he has a big one
But he has a little one
'Cause I've had bigger
Yeah!
Oh, my wine, it's full of wine.
Yes!
What the hell?
(sudden ominous music)
(Faith screaming)
(doll thudding)
(Faith choking)
(soft tense music)
- So I was told this is one
of the most haunted
churches around, huh?
- Why do they call it haunted?
- I don't know, I
haven't been in church
in like seven
freaking years, man.
- All right, well,
let's go inside.
(gentle tense music)
- Hello gentlemen, I'm Father
Montoya, this is Sister Rosa
and I have been briefed for
the reason of your stay.
I have to insist that you
hand over your cellphones
to be locked down downstairs
in private keeping.
- Right.
(cellphone clattering)
Thanks.
- [Sister Rosa] In here please.
- What are you thanking her for?
You'd better pray she don't
see the shit you got on there.
(Wes chuckling)
Yep.
(cellphone clattering)
No phones, no
leaving, no problem.
- You wanna run rampant
through the church so soon?
- I wanna be left to do
my job without judgment.
I have a boss that pays
me for that inconvenience.
- Consider yourself lucky
to be previously
rewarded for judgment.
I doubt you'll find comfort
in what you find here.
- So I'm not getting paid
for this. What the fuck?
(Father Montoya tutting)
- Father Finnegan will
further assist you
while we bring these
phones downstairs.
(soft melodic music)
- What are you guys recording?
- Hold up, Father, doesn't
matter what we're recording,
we already talked
to you about this.
You do your job, be your
damn babysitter for us,
bring us to the promised land,
we'll take care of the rest.
- Hurry the hell out,
we don't got all day.
- Move.
- As you wish, however,
do remember my warning.
- Ooh, warning.
(door clicking)
(soft melodic music)
(door thudding)
Feel free to explore.
- All right, Father, go on,
Mr. Babysitter, get outta here.
Think about this place.
- It's bigger than I thought.
- Hey, I think this is where
they had those services
before the kids
went missing, right?
- Let's find out,
consider our show there.
- Yeah, I got a good
feeling about this place.
- Yeah.
(soft melodic music)
- You know, Zak,
(tripod clattering)
you know what's
really bothering me?
- What?
- How come there's no records
of any real
investigations in here.
- I guess the devil never
did happen in the house.
No knows, man, just no records.
- Did the kids testify at all?
- The kids never
testified either though.
most the other people
were prostitutes
like Jack the Ripper.
- So I wonder how come
they're allowing us
to be the first
crew to film here?
- Who cares? Let's be
grateful we can edit it.
- All right.
- Gentlemen, we're all here.
I'm glad we all could have this
penis-measuring
contest in public.
I like the jokes, but I'm not
in a joking mood right now
because the wife just left me.
Ah, don't say anything.
So here's what's gonna happen.
This is a competition.
You guys are all in competition
to be my ghost
host with the most,
my ghost host with
the most in minutia.
Hunk Edwards presents
"Paranormal Experiences."
Okay, stop drooling. Sound good?
You good, you
excited, you happy?
- Whoa, what do you
mean the next host?
- Competition, it's
not guaranteed that
you're gonna be in.
I want you guys to compete
against each other.
I want to see drama, I
wanna see action, okay?
You guys are going
to find me a ghost
with your ghost hunting skills.
But there are rules
and if you break them,
not only do you
forfeit the money,
I kick you in the balls
and leave you here.
As you can tell, the
windows are locked,
the doors are
locked for 24 hours.
I collected your cellphones,
'cause I don't want you to
have some jackass in a van
run through here with
a sheet over his head
pretending to be a ghost.
I want you guys
to do what you do.
What are you doing with that?
- [Kit] What?
- (sighing) Rule number
two. Come on, Kit.
- What are you talking about?
- I need your phone.
- Listen, don't look at any
pictures of my girlfriend.
- You will get your phone back.
- [Kit] Okay, Hunk.
- Unless your
girlfriend's really hot,
then maybe we'll do
something else with it.
Now, do we all
understand the rules now?
- You are unclean and unworthy.
(light switch clicking off)
(gentle tense music)
(Father Montoya choking)
(soft intense music)
(light switch clicking on)
- Man, I can't get over what
a bunch of babies they are.
Do you realize how
dramatic they are?
- That's why we need
to film our own shit.
- What do you mean?
- Well, I was thinking
about our talk
and I think you're
absolutely right,
Hunk had the other guy in,
right, so you can watch drama.
- Yeah, man, exactly. So
what are you thinking?
- Let's shoot our own footage
and give these guys a
few twists of our own.
- Wait a second, sabotage?
- Only if they fall for it.
Otherwise, it'll just enrich
their footage. Got it?
- Got it for sure. (laughing)
Look at this.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Padre, what
do you think you're doing?
- Oh, I'm sorry, I was,
never seen a TV crew before,
so I got a little curious.
- All right, don't
get too curious.
Don't touch our stuff or
else you're gonna be sorry.
- Okay, yeah, I
didn't mean no harm.
- [Zak] Who the hell are you?
- I'm Rufus, I'm
the deacon here.
- All right, Deacon Rufus,
I really don't care.
Next time you touch my stuff,
(flick knife clicking)
(Wes chuckling)
you're gonna be getting cut.
(soft melodic music)
- Sure.
- See you, Father. Get the
hell outta here. (laughing)
- Now, can you assure me that
you've instructed our guests
on the food prep in the kitchen
and the extra blankets
for their accommodations
in the rectory?
- Yes, Father, they've been
shown everything again,
as you asked.
However, I still feel that
this is a huge mistake.
- Well, how so, Father?
- Well, can I say
something, Father?
Well, 'cause these people
here, they're just sinners,
just sinners all around,
and you know, this place
already has a bad vibe to it
and they're just stirring
it up and making it worse.
- Well then, let's just
let them stir away.
You know, we've provided
them our guidance
and now the sheep will
stray to stranger pastures,
as they often do.
Good enough. I'll
be leaving now.
(soft melodic music)
- What the hell is this?
- I heard something drop before.
- Don't tell me that
we missed this room.
How the heck do we know
there's paranormal activity
going on in here?
We should've stayed here.
(tripod thudding)
- I don't know, man.
- All right, let's go get
some of these levels, man.
- [Kit] What the fuck?
- Ah, crap.
- [Kit] What are you two fucking
doing in here without me?
- All right, boss, relax.
- Yeah, that's right, I am
the boss, don't forget it.
I don't trust either one of you
that you know what
you're fucking doing.
- Okay.
- Don't touch shit.
Just put it down.
- All right, boss.
- You're this close.
- All right, I hear you, boss.
- You big fuck, not
so much him, you.
- [Wes] What the heck
is it with you and me?
I didn't do nothing.
- What's with me and you?
I'm telling you, dude,
you're this fucking
close, keep it up.
Zak, keep your boy in check.
Keep it the fuck up.
- All right, boss,
have a good day, boss.
- Yeah, eat a bag of dicks.
- You see that?
- That's right.
- Look at this.
I put everything on camera.
That's all we need do, done.
- So wanna watch a movie?
- No, I don't feel like it.
- What's the matter?
- Well, this whole thing
is just, I don't like it,
I don't like what's
going on here.
You know, these people
here, they're, you know,
they're just gonna
make everything worse.
And I'm already
seeing shadow people
and, and also, like lately,
I've been seeing this nun.
- Who, Sister Rosa?
- No, not Sister Rosa, this,
this is something like,
I don't know, I
can't explain it,
but I don't like the feeling,
you know, whenever I see her.
I see her in the hallway
and one night, I was gonna
go pray in the sanctuary
and I saw her go in there
and I, I don't know, something
is just not right here
and, and everybody here
just seems to make it worse.
And I've been trying to
tell you, but you know,
I've been trying to tell
everybody but they don't listen.
- Whoa!
I'm sorry to hear that.
It seems like you're
really bothered by this.
- Yes, I am and even
more bothered by the fact
that no one just seems
to care, you know.
- I'm sorry.
I'll make sure that I try to
be a little bit more involved.
Tell you what, why don't you
stay here, relax a little bit.
I'm gonna go say a prayer and
close up for the night, okay?
- Fine.
(door clicking)
(haunting piano music)
(door clicking)
(door thudding)
- Father Thorn?
(haunting piano music)
Father Thorn.
I thought you left long ago.
What are you doing here?
Father?
Answer me!
(air whooshing)
(haunting piano music)
(Father Finnegan
groaning in pain)
(bones cracking)
(soft ominous music)
(Father Thorn laughing)
- Mick, Mick, come over here.
- Hey, what's up,
what's going on?
- Hold this, hold this.
- Yeah.
- I was thinking
let's do our own show,
our own scenes and stuff.
Walk around the church,
see what we can find,
try to win that 5 K
prize, what do you think?
- Yes, yes.
- We can split it 50/50?
- Nice.
- You cool with that?
- Yeah, sounds good to me.
- Okay.
- What about your boy, Wes?
- Ah, fuck Wes!
- Ah.
- Sick of carrying that
bloated wannabe ass.
- (laughing) Yeah.
- All right, so let's
do the show, me and you,
get the scenes that we
see, anything suspicious.
Split that prize 50/50.
- Okay.
- That sound good to you?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- All right, so let's
start in the basement.
- [Mick] All right,
let's do this.
- All right, I'll see you there.
- All right, cool.
- All right.
- I'll see you in a bit.
(soft haunting music)
- [Kit] Zak, what are you doing?
- Whoa, man, he had
the best angles,
I go where the money's at.
- [Kit] I thought you
were the good one.
- I got the pre-show right here.
What are you gonna
do about that?
- Screw you.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Whoa, whoa, ass hat!
- What are you doing, man?
Hey, let go, you're
gonna break his arm.
- Yeah, that's the point, bro.
- Whoa.
- Get the hell off
of me, bastard!
- Oh, the studio's gonna love
this, abusing your employees.
Very professional, kitty cat.
- [Kit] Screw you.
- [Zak] You're done, pretty
boy. I'll see you court.
- Come on, Zak.
Wes, where you going?
We got a show to do!
- Where am I going?
I'm out and I quit.
I had to deal with them too.
Oh, and by the way, boss, I
have everything on footage
of you on stage,
threatening to hit us.
Good job, boss. Now I have
everything that I need.
- Come on, this is the
biggest show of my life.
Son of a bitch!
Rufio, it's just me and
you, big guy. Let's do it.
- First of all,
it's Rufus and no.
- [Kit] That's what's happening.
- You guys are, you
guys are all greedy
and I don't want
no part of this.
- My man.
- It's just so much greed.
You know, it's crap.
- Greed is good.
You never saw "Wall Street?"
I'll make you rich, brother!
Come on.
You know what? I
don't even need you.
I'm Kit Carson, I am the show!
Motherfucker!
(soft tense music)
(Father Thorn sighing heavily)
(soft tense music)
- What are you doing, Father?
And where's the child?
- I made the child go away
and not only that,
but I made the evil go away!
Behold, I'm a eunuch!
Ah, the essence of
Sister Rosa. (sniffing)
(Father Draven gasping)
- You, you monster!
(Father Thorn laughing)
What have you done?
(Father Thorn laughing)
(soft tense music)
Who is evil now?
Oh, for the (indistinct)!
(weapon thudding)
- Oh, you're a sinner!
(weapon thudding)
(weapon thudding)
No! (groaning)
(weapon thudding)
You're a sinner!
(tense melodic music)
(weapon thudding)
(Father Thorn groaning)
(tense melodic music)
- Father!
(Father Draven sobbing)
(tense melodic music)
- I, too, am with sin, Father,
but I found a way to
make it stop as well.
- There is no saving me, Sister.
And what you are
doing is unholy!
- Come with me, Father.
I, too, am with sin, Father,
but I found a way to
make it stop as well.
I can show you how
to keep evil at bay,
protect the church
and save yourself.
- You say that,
there's no saving me, Sister.
And what you are
doing is unholy.
- Take your pants off, Father.
Darkness
- Take your pants off.
He's coming
- Do it.
Darkness
- Pray with me, Father Draven.
Then we will go to the basement.
I have something to show you.
I have little collection myself.
We are both with such great sin.
(both breathing deeply)
- Oh God, oh!
Darkness
He's coming
Darkness
- Sister Rosa, is that you?
Sister Rosa, where
are you going?
Are you, you okay?
Do you need help?
Sister Rosa, hey,
what are you doing?
(soft melodic music)
(singer vocalizing)
Where the hell are you going?
Sister Rosa, come on.
Are you okay down here?
(Mick sighing)
(footsteps thudding)
What are you doing?
Do you need help?
Sister Rosa.
Darkness
- [Mick] What the hell is this?
Sister Rosa, are you okay?
Do you need help?
Sister Rosa, what are you doing?
(sudden ominous music)
- Yes!
Take Samuel!
(Mick shrieking)
(Samuel laughing)
- (laughing) Kill
him, Samuel, kill him!
(Mick groaning)
Samuel, kill him!
(Father Thorn laughing)
- [Mick] Uh, oh, my God!
(Father Thorn laughing)
What the fuck?
- Ah, the turd baby is
killing you. (laughing)
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
(laughing) I turned
him into a turd baby!
- [Mick] Oh, it's
on my face, uh!
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
Oh, get the fuck off me!
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
Oh, my God! What the
fuck is this thing?
- (laughing) Kill
him, turd baby.
Kill him!
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
- [Demon] There
is no mercy here.
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
- [Mick] Oh, God!
Help me!
- [Demon] There
is no mercy here.
I forgive nothing. You will rot.
(Father Thorn laughing)
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
- Kill him.
Leave your turd marks on him.
Kill him!
(intense melodic music)
(Mick groaning)
(Father Thorn laughing)
- Faith.
Faith, there you are.
How drunk are you?
Why are you dressed like a nun?
Faith.
Wait, you're not my wife.
Have you seen my
wife, by any chance?
- Come a little further, my
child, I want to pray with you.
(objects clattering)
Are you alone?
- Yes.
I was looking for my wife
and you're obviously not-
- Your wife?
- [Hunk] Have you seen her?
(Hunk choking)
(Hunk thudding)
(demon laughing)
(demon speaking Latin)
(soft tense music)
(Sister Rosa laughing)
(demon speaking Latin)
(soft tense music)
(Hunk rasping)
(spike thudding)
(demon speaking Latin)
(soft tense music)
(Sister Rosa laughing)
(spike thudding)
(Sister Rosa gasping)
(Sister Rosa groaning loudly)
(demon speaking Latin)
(tense melodic music)
(Samuel laughing)
(soft tense music)
(Mick breathing heavily)
- Mick?
(objects clattering)
What the hell is that?
Mick, where are you?
(objects clattering)
Mick, what are you doing?
(weapon thudding)
(Zak choking)
- Are you the disbeliever?
(Zak choking)
Wishes won't save you.
(Zak thudding)
(demon speaking indistinctly)
- Faith!
(door clicking)
Faith!
(door thudding)
Faith!
Where the hell's my wife? Faith!
(soft tense music)
(drapes rattling)
(sudden ominous music)
(gasping) No!
(Hunk thudding)
(body thudding)
(flesh squelching)
- Help me.
(soft tense music)
(Hunk shrieking)
(door thudding)
- I can't believe Ricky's
gonna be overstaffed,
he's got me doing this stuff
myself, it's unbelievable.
You wanna do it right,
you gotta do it yourself.
You know what I'm talking about.
You're like the original hipster
with the long hair and
the beard, I'm digging it.
I'll tell you what, you help
me make this show a hit,
I'm gonna stop banging hookers.
But maybe not tonight,
'cause I ordered her already.
She was expensive.
Oh God, I'm going
to hell for sure.
I'm not getting anything
in here, nothing.
I don't know what these
guys are talking about.
I'm starting not to
believe my own shit.
But I tell you what,
I'm still gonna make
a crap load of money,
no matter what,
'cause that's what I do.
Man, I'm not getting
anything in here.
This room's a bust.
Oh well.
(footsteps thudding)
- It's real, it's
real, come on, come on!
- Bro, you have a lot
of energy right now.
- I just killed a woman
who tried to strangle
the shit outta me
and my ex-wife,
like really ex-wife,
I just found in the other room.
We have to go.
Somebody is killing
people. Okay, let's go.
- Hunk, I want my money,
I'm not going anywhere.
- There is no money if
we're both dead, let's go!
- Huh, I had somebody
staking out this place
a couple days ago, they
never got back to me.
All of a sudden, you secured
it, how'd that happen?
Obviously, something's going on.
- Oh, my God.
- You think I'm an idiot?
- Now you are.
Obviously, my wife had
something to do with it.
I don't know, maybe
it's the same guy,
maybe he's picking us off.
I'm not gonna wait.
Let's go, Kit!
- Hunk, I'm not going anywhere,
I'll stay here by myself all
night, this is my show anyway.
- Somebody is killing-
- I'm making it.
- Somebody's killing
people, I actually did.
You don't have blood on
you, I trust you. Let's go!
- I'm right behind you, Hunk,
I'm right behind outta here.
(kit muttering)
Let me find another room.
- Oh, my God, Zak!
(Zak gasping softly)
Oh no, who did this to you?
Oh man, the evil's
getting stronger.
I should just warn everybody.
Forgive me.
Forgive me, Father.
(speaks Latin) Rest in peace.
- Man, I'm starting to
think this church is a dud.
I'm not getting EMF anywhere.
(door clicking)
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up, Padre?
- Are you still here?
We gotta get outta here.
Your whole team is dead!
- Padre, really, you too,
they roped you into it too?
- No, nobody roped
me into anything.
Look, one of them, one of
them is down there, I saw him.
You gotta come see,
come see for yourself.
- You're serious?
- [Rudus] Yes, come on.
- Padre, I'm trusting you, man.
You got no reason to lie to me.
- [Rufus] I don't, now come on.
(fist thumping)
- Father, hello!
(door clicking)
- Yes?
- Oh, good, you're
here, you're here.
I need my phone, I
need my phone, come on.
- Are are you having
technical difficulty?
- What? No, people are
dead, my wife is dead!
Somebody's
responsible, obviously!
- Slow down, slow down now.
(Hunk breathing heavily)
Look, maybe you should
sit down and explain to me
the meaning of
what's going on here?
- I'm not gonna sit.
I think one of your nuns
actually attacked me
and I had to,
I don't know what I did!
- All right, clearly
you're upset, son.
So let's discuss this.
Um, find out what's going on,
so we're all on the same
page before we go forward.
I don't wanna be giving
back any phones until we-
- Here's the page.
- Know what's going on.
- Somebody's killing people.
- Hm.
- We have to go.
Follow me and I'll show you
exactly where the bodies are.
- Okay.
- Come on
- First, I think we should
consult the good book.
(book thudding)
(Hunk thudding)
(soft tense music)
This church is cursed.
I brought you here hoping
you would satisfy its hunger,
but it didn't work.
I know now
that it's strong,
stronger than ever before.
If the faculty was ever
to find out about this,
I would lose my house
of worship here,
that I've worked
my life to build.
You,
you were supposed
to make this go away,
finally, end this curse!
But I'm afraid that's
never going to happen.
You see,
I became interested in
demonology back in the seminary,
and I've traveled
the world collecting
many cursed unholy items.
There they were in my
collection in the basement.
I questioned him
about the children,
but I knew that he
was too far gone.
- You know you're insane, right?
You're too far gone.
And listen, Father, let's
stop this, stop it right here.
I'll help you.
- You, you speak the
truth, I understand.
But this is way too powerful.
And if necessary, I
will sacrifice myself
to end this evil!
- Father, I will help you.
Let's, let's stop it
together, come on.
You know I'm right.
You're not a bad man,
but that nun's bad and
I can help stop it!
- Not gonna happen.
It's not gonna happen.
It will take everything I have
to defeat what
I've created here.
- You're a fool, Father.
- Bless us, Father, although
I do sin in your name!
But I must save our church.
(Samuel laughing)
Damn you, Samuel!
Damn you!
(gun firing)
Damn you to hell!
(Samuel laughing)
Damn you, Samuel!
Damn you!
I only knew tonight for sure!
(demon whispering indistinctly)
(Father Draven groaning)
(sudden ominous music)
- Come on, he's right here.
- Oh, God!
Zak, buddy!
I told you you should've
stayed with me, man.
Fuck!
(Samuel laughing)
(soft tense music)
What the fuck is that?
(demon laughing)
What the fuck are
you laughing at?
(kick thudding)
Shut up!
(Samuel thudding)
- [Rufus] Wow, man, where
the fuck did you learn that?
- Kung fu.
- [Rufus] Yeah.
- [Kit] Now what, bitch?
- [Rufus] Do you believe me now?
- [Kit] Yeah, I believe
we need to get outta here.
- [Rufus] Only way
out now is there.
- Oh, Rufus, right here!
This door, it's not secure,
we can get outta here!
(door clicking)
Let's go, let's go.
Come on, come on, we gotta
get outta here, let's go!
- [Demon] Come with me, child.
- That's not your hand, bro.
(demon growling)
What the fuck is that?
Get me, get me outta here!
What is with this fucking place?
(door thudding)
Jesus!
- I told you there's something
wrong with this place.
That had to be what killed Zak.
- I know, you told me.
- Yeah.
Here, other way, down this hall.
- All right, you look.
- [Rufus] I'm not
going by myself, no.
- Here we go, Rufus,
we got up to top floor.
- Yeah.
- Get outta here.
Hunk.
Hunk, you're alive, man!
Listen, Zak is dead.
- Oh!
- Zak is dead, we found hin!
- Rufus. Okay.
- What is that?
- This is how you
kill them, I told you.
Come on, let's get outta here.
- I have a key.
- Come on.
- We can unlock the door.
- Let's go.
- Come on, come on, hey,
unlock the door, come on!
Oh!
(sudden ominous music)
(heartbeat thudding)
- Nope.
No. I'm messing with a baby?
I ain't fucking with
this, I'm outta here.
- Carson!
(door handle rattling)
- Come on.
Fucker!
(footsteps thudding)
(door clicking)
(door thudding)
- [Demon] Help us.
- Go, go!
- [Rufus] Follow me.
(footsteps thudding)
(soft tense music)
Come on.
(demon growling)
(footsteps thudding)
(both breathing heavily)
- [Hunk] Rufus!
- [Rudus] Come on.
Hide!
(door thudding)
(soft tense music)
- All right, guys.
I am downstairs in the basement.
I have no freaking
idea where anybody is.
I really don't care.
I don't know where my
boss is, he's an asshole.
I'm happy he's not here.
I don't know where
my partner is now.
I hope he is dead
because I can't find him
and he's pissing me off.
I don't really care.
All right, here we go.
I heard there's some creepy shit
going down here in the basement
and I hope I find something.
But if there is something,
if you pop at me,
I'm gonna be pissed off.
(light switch clicking off)
I don't know why these
lights just went off.
That was kind of
freaky for a second,
but guys, just keep following
me, we will be okay.
We are wandering in this
cold ass basement now
that just got cold
all of a sudden,
and all of a sudden.
Zak, Zak, wake up, man,
what are you doing?
Zak!
Wake up!
Let's go, we gotta go.
- [Demon] You are not safe.
- Hello?
(object thudding)
Hey!
I'm not scared of you.
(soft tense music)
- I locked the damn door.
Oops!
All right, what do we do?
- [Rufus] Just run, get
outta here! I got it.
- Rufus!
(tense upbeat music)
- Hi, I'm not afraid
of you anymore.
(tense upbeat music)
- [Hunk] Rufus, get outta here!
(Rufus groaning)
(flesh squelching)
(Rufus yelling in pain)
(demon laughing)
(door clicking)
- Mick!
There you are.
(door thudding)
You got some
explaining to do, man.
Hey, Mick, turn around, man.
Mick, I'm talking to you.
Mick, turn around!
My best friend's
dead downstairs!
I want you to turn around now!
You're not Mick, who
the hell are you?
What happened to my
best friend, Zak?
He's dead downstairs, you
know anything about that?
- Rufus, help me up!
(Rufus groaning)
- My friend, he got
sliced, his throat.
You know what I
think about that?
All right, buddy, you know what?
You're gonna feel the
pain of what he felt.
(flick knife clicking)
You ready to have some fun?
(soft tense music)
(knife clattering)
Oh, that's how you
wanna play it, huh?
So we'll do that.
(blows thudding)
(soft intense music)
(blows thudding)
(Wes grunting)
(bones crunching)
(Wes grunting)
(demon growling)
(soft tense music)
- Ah!
What's happening?
(Hank muttering)
It's my show!
Ah!
(spike thudding)
(demon screeching)
(fire roaring)
(soft tense music)
(demon screeching)
Thank you!
(soft melodic music)
Hm?
I got it all.
Oh, boy!
Yes, 911, hi, how you
doing this fine day?
(gasping) There's been
murders and there's a fire
at Father Draven's Church.
Please, the man responsible,
his name is Kit Carson.
Please come!
(soft melodic music)
That's one hell of a show.
(door creaking)
- Oh, he killed that bitch.
I'll give it to everybody today.
I'll beat you.
(Samuel laughing)
(door thudding)
(fire roaring)
(soft tense music)
- Kit, who was it then?
Who killed all those people?
- It was the nun.
- Who, who?
(Kit rasping)
- Damn psychopath!
- What's happening to him?
- Fucking nut!
- Oh my God!
We need to restrain him!
Restrain him!
- Oh! (choking)
- Shit, you just killed her!
You're just, oh, my
God, somebody help!
Help, help!
(Whitney choking)
- It's okay, it's okay.
(Whitney choking)
Darkness
(demon speaking Latin)
He's coming
(flesh squelching)
Darkness
(demon speaking Latin)
(soft ominous music)
(demon speaking Latin)
- Welcome to my
underground podcast,
"Bloody Nun:
Fact or Fiction?"
Each week, we talk
to two people,
one that believes in the
Bloody Nun, one that doesn't.
This week, I have Father Rufus,
who encountered the Bloody Nun.
Father Rufus, are
you there with me?
I wanna know
everything about this.
- My encounter
with the Bloody Nun
was the most traumatizing
thing I've ever experienced.
I mean,
I almost lost more than
just my eye, you know,
that's just how bad it was,
how bad it was getting.
Look, I always knew that the
church was a little haunted,
you know, how they like to say
about old buildings and stuff.
You know, the occasional
noise here and there
just didn't bother me at all.
But then when Father Draven got
back from his Honduras trip,
the one he does every year like,
like almost like to
the absolute letter,
like it was that predictable.
But this time,
this time, it just
felt different,
especially when he
brought back that,
this weird-looking doll thing.
I don't know where, I don't
know where he found that from,
but outside of the
occasional noise, you know,
and a tremor here and there.
But I started to see
out the corner of my eye
like what looks like,
what looked like a nun.
And actually, it was
this eye here, you know,
the one that she would
eventually rip out.
But yeah, a little
joke there, but...
(soft tense music)
I don't know, at first, I
thought it was Sister Rosa
just wandering around at night
and I would follow her down
the hallway calling after her.
She wouldn't answer,
she would just go right
into the sanctuary.
And when I'd get
in there after her,
it was like she
disappeared into thin air.
And there would be nights,
where I would be just praying
alone in the sanctuary
and I would feel like
somebody was watching me.
And I would look up and I
would occasionally just see
this figure of a nun.
- Well, God bless
you, Father Rufus.
Now to my next guest,
the non-believer.
He publicly has spoken about
Bloody Nun and Father Rufus
saying that this is all a hoax
and somehow, they're
making money off of this.
(soft tense music)
I don't know.
Well, let's go to Frank and
hear what Frank has to say
and see if it's fact or fiction.
- First of all, I heard
Father Rufus and what he said.
Excuse me, Father, but
you're a liar, you're a liar.
You're a good showman,
I'll give you that,
the gift of preaching to
your dedicated congregation
fooled them, but not me.
Angry?
I'm not angry.
His little fantasy
story is covering
for one of his psycho disciples.
I believe he is part of a cult.
He dressed someone
up as the Bloody Nun
and had them murder
people for attention
and offer last rites.
- Hm, that's some allegations
you got there, Frank.
Well, what do you
have to back that up?
- What proof do I have?
My backing,
my gun.
I'm taking the law
into my own hands.
Father Rufus is lying,
protecting someone.
This is all to make him
look like a superior being,
and almighty, the Bloody Nun
for all we know could be him,
cross-dressing, acting
out an abusive past.
The Bloody Nun is not real.
I'm gonna prove
it, I'm going to,
- Oh boy! And that's
enough for this week.
And enough of Frank.
Well, as usual, two very,
very different opinions
on the Bloody Nun, one
believes, one doesn't.
Now, I gotta deal
with the sheriff
and talk about what Frank
was threatening to do.
So until next week, when
in church and praying,
don't close your eyes too tight,
because when you open them,
the Bloody Nun may
be in front of you
and offer you your last rites.
Well, be safe
and be careful of "The
Bloody Nun: Fact or Fiction."
- "Things, judge of all
men, we knowledge and bewail
our manifold sins
and wickedness,
which we from time to time,
most grievously have committed
by thought, word, and deed
against thy divine majesty,
provoking most justly thy wrath
and indignation against us.
We do earnestly repent
and are heartily sorry
for all of our misdoings.
The remembrance of them
is grievous unto us.
The burden of them is
intolerable. Have mercy upon us.
Have mercy upon us,
most merciful Father."
For I have seen the true evil
that has overtaken our church.
(tense melodic music)