Blue Jay (2016) Movie Script

[birds chirping]
[clock ticking]
[woman announcing on pa]
Oh, God.
Hi Amanda.
Oh my God.
[Amanda laughs]
How are you?
I am...
I am really good.
How are you?
How are you?
Did I ask that already?
-You did, but I am happy to...
happy to tell you again.
You're good?
So, you...
are you...
are you living
here now? Or you...
Oh, no, I'm...
I'm here to see my sister.
-You remember?
-I'm sure... Yeah.
-It's Elissa.
Getting... cooking...
just some...
Grated ginger
and capers and...
ice cream.
I didn't brush my teeth.
[Amanda laughing]
That's why I'm licking my teeth
a lot right now, I don't know.
So, anyway, I don't want
to hold you...
Obviously if you have...
Yeah. Okay.
-All right.
[Amanda clears throat]
[sighs deeply]
Here's your change.
[birds chirping]
This is my car. Yeah.
-Too weird.
Hey, do you want
to get a coffee?
[Jim] Yeah, good.
It's good.
Good, yeah.
I heard about your Mom.
I was really
sorry to hear it.
Oh yeah, thanks.
You know, she...
she was sick for a little bit,
so it was, you know, we were
prepared for it
-But thanks, you know.
We've been clearing out
her house a little bit
and I think would
have fix it up and...
maybe sell it, so...
Fix it up yourself?
Yeah. That's kind
of what I do.
Work on houses and stuff.
You build them?
You do all the...
I do... I mostly
do the dry wall stuff.
Uncle John runs the business,
so I got caught up with him,
you know, we did
a bunch of work.
in New Orleans
after Katrina and then...
It's boring as shit but...
It's not boring.
It's not boring.
I didn't know that's what
you were doing.
Yeah. It's good. It's steady
and it's consistent.
And... Yeah, it's cool.
It's fun.
I don't know.
You seem...
Yeah, yeah.
No, it's good.
It's like...
I end up in Tuscon
and it's great.
Really nice, warm climate
and I dig it.
-It's too hot.
-No, it's good.
It's better, you know,
it's not like here.
That's... that's what
I've been doing.
Tuscon. Warm.
You know,
my parents moved.
to Florida.
To be warm.
They may move back.
They may have to move back.
Yeah. What's going on?
My sister's having a baby.
Yeah. That's the grand
parent pressure.
-You know.
You're not married, huh?
No. Married to the work.
Married to the dry wall?
Married to the work.
You know, I like it.
You know, it's good.
It's really good for me.
I think that's how I...
Yeah, it's good and...
I think it's bright for me.
You know.
[Jim gulps]
You okay?
Trying to get through
this coffee.
This coffee is terrible.
The Blue Jay has gone
down the hill.
Tell me about
your husband.
Oh, God. I don't even know
where to start.
I got really lucky.
He's a really...
incredibly supportive,
very nurturing,
wonderful guy.
His name is Chris.
And when I met him,
he had two small boys.
And so...
Boom! Insta... insta Mom.
And his ex-wife was really
wonderful to me.
Their whole childhood
we had a week with them
and a week off.
And so, you know,
one week, it's just
the two of us. We can do
whatever we want
whenever we want to
and footloose and fancy
free and then next week
it's little league
and soccer games
and then studying
for their SAT's
and college tours
and you know...
It's crazy.
It's crazy. Yeah.
It's just crazy.
It's great.
Jim. What?
[Jim laughing]
It's crazy.
It's just crazy.
Would you stop it?
I am not
doing anything.
You're doing something
with your face.
I'm not
doing anything.
My face leaks.
I don't know.
But it's fine.
It's fine. It's fine.
There's a pregnant woman
waiting for her ice cream.
Oh, yes. God.
I'll walk you back
to your car.
-Yeah. Come on.
[Jim] Park Dental
by the way, gone.
[Amanda] You had a couple
of cavities filled there.
I think you had nine,
was that the record?
Would have been
more like 11.
That's what happens when you
have love of jelly bean...
[gasps] Jim.
There's no way.
[Jim] Oh, come on!
No, that's not possible.
[Amanda] I think it's him.
[Jim] No that's his grandson.
He was like a hundred
in high school.
That's his hat,
-I'm telling you that's his hat.
-Oh, my God!
[Jim] Wayne travels
with Wayney man.
Do you think
he would remember?
I'm not sure
he's alive.
I haven't seen
him move yet.
No he's not
going to remember.
That was our dorky
thing that we did.
That was...
You want to put
a wager on it?
I'll bet you $100,
he doesn't remember.
A $100?
I'll bet you a $100.
[door squeaking]
-Hi Wayney.
-Hi Wayney.
What's up?
We were wanting
to go traveling.
You're talking...
Yeah that's exactly
what I'm talking about.
Thanks Wayney.
-Thank you, Wayney.
I told you.
-Come on. You planted that.
-I told you!
[Amanda] I did not,
you owe me a $100.
[Jim] I don't have $100.
Well you owe me a $100.
All right.
Yeah, hit me.
Hit it!
What you got?
I got Brooklyn.
-Oh Germany.
-Hey Wayney!
Do you have any Zima?
[Wayney] I believe
they pulled it off
the market.
What about gold schlagger?
[Wayney] We don't carry
that anymore.
[Jim] That's more like it.
I know who you are now,
you're the love birds.
The famous lovebirds.
You're still together, right?
[Wayney] What? [laughs]
What's the matter, what?
Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, it's... you know...
-[Wayney] What?
-It's 24 years.
Still going strong.
-Oh, congratulations guys.
-Thank you.
I got your jelly beans.
All right Wayney,
what do we owe you?
You don't owe me anything,
your money is no good here.
-Come on.
-Come on, let an old man,
buy something please.
Make me happy, okay?
Congratulations again.
-Nice to see you.
Yeah, good to see
you guys.
Looking good.
You look exactly
the same.
Get out of here. Come on now.
You're gonna make me cry.
[indistinct chattering]
Is the coat warm
enough for you?
Okay, yeah.
Yeah that's the one...
[indistinct chattering]
It served pizza
long time ago.
[water lapping]
[Amanda] Yeah but
I remember being like...
Did they move them?
[Jim] That it.
No, that's it.
See, 'cause I use
to put my leg
-Oh yeah.
-right here. Watch.
-Here we go.
[Amanda] Hold on. Let's see.
[Jim] Come on. Hold this.
I still got the stuff.
So, what's next
for you?
You're going back
to Tucson or...
you're working?
You got a house,
you're gonna build?
I don't know,
Tucson is...
and work stuff's
kinda up in the air.
-What does that mean?
Do you not
like doing it?
No it's good, it's...
I don't know.
I have to admit there's a small
part of me as I was sitting...
in the old house
and thinking about
fixing it up.
And I'm starting
to think like...
I don't know maybe...
I could stay here.
It looks
interesting to me.
What would you
do here though?
It's just a thought,
I don't...
-I mean, I've no plan.
-I know, I like...
Don't you want...
Why you grilling me
right now?
I'm not trying
to grill you, I just...
I guess I'm a little
worried about you?
Why are you worried
about me?
I don't know, you don't...
you seem...
I don't know a little,
lost or...
I haven't got it all,
figured out.
But... you know...
Isn't there anything
you want to do?
Amanda, I don't fucking
know what I'm doing, okay?
I had lost my job, okay?
I lost my job.
I had a falling out
with my uncle
who was stealing clients
from me and I beat
the fuck out of him, okay?
I beat the living shit
out of him.
It was a really scary
moment and I had a crack
and I feel awful
about it and I'm...
I'm sorry,
I didn't... I...
So I'm living in Tucson
and I don't want to stay
there anymore
but I don't really
know where else to go.
And it's...
I'm having a...
just having a hard time, so.
I'm sorry, yeah.
I'm not...
[laughs embarrassingly]
I'm gonna start
crying again.
-This is a thing with me,
all right?
I really think
it's your fault, honestly.
Why is it my fault?
You use to give me
the best head rubs.
And they use to really
take the edge off.
Quit hiding the jelly beans
Hand 'em up.
Come on.
Give me some
jelly beans, okay?
That's why I'm so sad
'cause you won't [chuckles]
give me any jelly beans.
[Jim sighs deeply]
It's also little hard 'cause
you're really impressive.
Your life is really impressive.
-So there's a part
of me that's...
just saying.
I was getting on the plane
and there was this family
and this little boy,
he was so mad
and just irate
and of course he has no way
of expressing any of that
except sort of just like...
scream and stomp
his feet and...
I mean, he was screaming
so loud that tongue
was curing to the back
of his mouth and tears
were just like...
you know, springing out
of his face he was...
leaking you know.
And I just remember
looking at him and being
very jealous.
You know,
that's my soul-mate.
Me and that four year old.
That's my soul-mate.
I don't know some point
we just learn it's better
not to do that and...
I don't know
at what point...
You ate a lot of them.
I did eat a lot.
You left me all the pink
and purple ones
Yeah, they are
your favorites.
[phone buzzing]
What's up?
Miss Elissa wants to know
where's her ice-cream is at?
Of course.
Oh God!
Does she like
ice-cream soup.
I'm just telling her
I ran into some one.
Don't take it person... sorry
yes. Okay fine I'll tell her
it's you just...
-She'll ask me who.
-She's gonna ask...
-there is is.
Lisa, Lisa the interrogator.
Holy fuckity fuck!
Jim, Jim?
She's Lisa Lising you.
Yeah Jim Jim,
She wants to know
how you look.
[phone buzzes]
She wants to know, when I'm
coming back.
I kinda want
to see your house.
You want
to see the house?
[Jim sighs deeply]
It's been really great
catching up with you.
But if the reason you spending
time with me is because...
you feel sorry for me.
You don't have to do it,
it's okay. Okay?
[mellow music playing]
[lock clicking]
Sorry, just the boxes.
[Amanda] It's okay.
Here we go.
Yeah, still got
a lot of...
her stuff to pack up.
That's a good one
in particular.
Yeah, I'll say.
Yeah, pretty much
how she left it so...
I've been thinking about...
dry walling where
the paneling is
maybe take out
that wall,
so that it opens
into the kitchen.
I don't know there's also
something kind of...
cozy about the way it is.
Thinking about it.
Anyway, make yourself at home.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Will see you
in a sec.
[door shuts]
[piano music playing]
Oh, my god.
This is a very serious
collection of romance novels.
This could not
have been here...
when we were
spending all that time
I think there were some
I think she really
started collecting
-when I left
and I wasn't here to...
-We would have
a field day with it.
Well, I mean
let's face it,
in your hay-day
you were pretty...
In my hay-day?
you were pretty romantic.
I'm remembering...
when you read Wuthering Heights
and you made me read it
and you sent me that...
I think it was four
legal page...
-Jim, that's extreme...
-letters about...
You called me Heathcliff
and you called
your self Catherine.
-I am you
and you are me.
-Please stop it!
Yes so, by the way
Completely humiliating.
don't pretend you're
all above this.
There's a very
big difference.
I would like to point out
between this
lovely array of books and
the great work of art
and literature that
is Wuthering Heights.
I mean they cannot
be compared.
Here's something for you.
"Right away.
she knew that her heart
and soul belonged
to Justin."
What Justin?
There's no sexier
name than Justin.
"Oh, Justin!
Do it to me Justin."
-Oh, come on.
No, there's more.
"But it wasn't until tonight
that she realized
Justin also owned
her body."
I'm sorry there's no
comparison between this
and Wuthering Heights.
-It really, first of all...
-It's really
sacrilegious thing...
I don't want to think
about my mother reading it.
You know what?
Neither do I, I have to say.
I've been staring
at these books
I'm trying to figure out
how to get rid of them
Well, I don't know,
it's weird like
I had this weird...
I had a very strange mortality
moment when I looked
at them and I was like this
eight hundred books here,
and even if I...
for some reason wanted
to read all of these books
I wouldn't be able
to finish all of these
books before I died.
That's a weird thing,
you know the math of that.
Pretty morbid thought.
No just...
not to be morbid
but just a thing.
you know it's all
relative, I think.
I mean, my husband
you know...
maybe he would make
it through this, section.
If you were lucky.
-I don't know.
Can I... do you mind
if I go out side? I have
to make a phone call.
Yeah, yeah of course.
You know the way.
Yes I do.
[door slams]
[foot steps departing]
[water splashing]
[Amanda] I know, I'm sorry.
I meant to call you, yeah.
The minute I got there she sent
me right out to get some food.
Oh, yeah she
seems really...
she seems really good.
Yeah, she's just hungry.
I think we're just
gonna stay in.
Just you know...
watch a movie or...
you know and eat.
Wait, can you just say
that again I didn't hear you.
This is amazing.
This is amazing,
it's like a time capsule.
It's all here.
You needed
the black light...
Hey it was 1993 you
needed a black light.
Yeah I adore
the black light.
You want to watch
some, Friends?
-Try outs?
-Try outs.
The other option is I could
draw a little Gin Blossoms.
Yes would you?
Maybe Tilda weds Brocket?
I hate the sound
of Tilda weds...
Fine, Blues Traveler.
I like Blues Traveler.
Oh, Well, well...
You literally have every shirt
you wore in high school still.
My mom kept stuff,
that's just...
God, yeah.
I remember
wearing this one.
This one.
I think this one is mine.
Oh, I always
hated this one.
[Jim] I looked
good in that.
You did not look good in it,
like a weird lumber jack.
You say that,
like it's a bad thing.
It is a very
bad thing.
Well, you know I'm sorry.
[gasps in surprise]
-That's private property.
-Oh really?
Have some respect, okay?
For what? For your privacy?
Yes, exactly.
You probably read
these to me out loud.
It's called privacy.
No, no, that's private.
Oh, my...
"The winds of change
are fucking blowing tonight."
-No. Don't read.
-Don't read, no.
Who knew her name
was going to be Amanda.
-What a face."
"What a spirit.
My lips said hello
my friend
but my heart said
hello my future.
I don't even know
myself anymore.
Jim has been
ripped in half
but I'm so happy
to bleed,
for there is Amanda."
Oh, my God!
You want Japan
or New York?
New York
Oh, my God!
I found a picture of you
that is outrageous.
You don't deserve
this by the way.
Digging through my stuff.
Listen man, you don't have
lock on your shit
it's bound to get
broken into.
Man, I can't believe
you still have all this stuff.
Little crazy.
[Jim] Mom was a bit
of a hoarder.
Do you dare?
Are you brave enough?
"The winds of fucking change
are blowing tonight."
Fuck you.
"This first classic
performance is entitled
hanging out, May 1994."
Oh my God!
I don't know whats
happening. Good luck.
What's it gonna be?
Oh boy!
[rap dual playing]
She just don't understand
Oh, she jealous, she jealous
That's right folks
and mamma her mamma
and mamma had a son
-she just don't understand.
-No way.
She's jealous,
she's jealous, she's jea...
[both] Oh no!
You fuckin' taped
over it,
-I was recording over...
-God damn it.
We were running
out of tape.
-Wait hold on.
-[Amanda] Welcome home.
[Jim] Thanks sweetheart
so good to see you.
[Amanda] How is work?
[Jim] You know
Glen Donavon is canceling
his account with us.
Twenty three years
doing business
together just like that,
can you believe it?
Oh, business.
23 years
with Glen Donavon...
[Jim] I'm sorry.
[Amanda] I've got little
something to cheer you up.
I've got something
to cheer you...
Not that.
You are in a late night
Cinemax movie.
[Amanda] Close your eyes.
-Just do it!
See I'm the boss,
even then.
-[Jim] What are you doing?
Would you be patient?
-I'm not patient.
-Jim, come on.
Okay, open them.
[Jim] Oh, my God!
Happy 40th anniversary lover.
Oh, my God! Look at this meal
look what you did.
Sweetheart, it's beautiful.
I'm so thankful, I didn't get
you anything. I'm sorry,
I forgot.
It's okay, you've been busy
just sit down, let's eat.
It's delicious, it's like...
-Oh, my God!
-Is it good?
I made your favorite.
[Jim] You are my favorite.
I better be your favorite.
So did you talk
to Jessica yet today?
-I did.
And she got it.
Yes, yes!
Oh, I knew she would.
I mean two years in
-she's already
getting promoted.
-But, are you surprised?
[Amanda] Ever since she
was three years old she
started telling me
what to ware I think
we knew not to worry.
Now I know our poor
Jason was a little
-odd on the phone today.
[Amanda] I think it's so hard
when your big sister
is so successful.
Yeah must be,
but he's so wonderful
in his own way.
He's gonna find it,
I know he will.
He's got your eyes.
He's got your heart.
[both chuckling on recording]
We've got that great
couple of kids.
Oh yeah, they got
a great mom.
-Best mom in the whole world.
-Best dad in the whole world.
It's kinda funny like...
having the house
to ourselves again, isn't it?
All those years with the four
of us running around,
bumping in to each other.
It's back down
to the two of us.
-But it's nice.
-Yeah, it's nice.
[Jim] Hey, I'm really sorry
I forgot to get an
anniversary present.
It's okay.
[Jim] I feel really bad,
I'm gonna go
to the bathroom I'll be quick.
[footsteps departing]
[Amanda gasps]
Jim, what are you doing?
Oh, just nothing.
Here open it, open it.
You got us tickets
to see Annie Lennox?
Yes I did. Happy anniversary
to you late dancing.
You're such a bitch,
you tricked me.
Yeah I still got a few tricks
left in my old sleeve here.
I love you Amanda Henderson.
I love you more.
You are so good!
[laughing and yelling]
-You're still
like an old man.
You're still like an old man.
I actually believe that
you could really cook.
[laughing hysterically]
-Kiss me.
-Here's to 80 more.
Hundred and twenty more.
-Yeah we can do that, right?
[recorder clicks]
We weren't very cool.
No, we were
deeply uncool.
That was really...
I wonder where
that plane's going.
It's not coming here.
You'd think...
That town down there?
Although, you know what
it's the fact that it's dark.
You can't quite see
the shithole-ness.
That is right.
And actually
right now...
It does look
kinda pretty.
It's kinds nice
Not so bad.
What's on your mind, eh?
Is it that obvious?
I was really...
little unnerving...
back there, listening
to all that stuff.
I mean,
I seemed quite... fun.
-First of all.
-Your rapping career
didn't turn out the way
you hoped it would, I think.
I understand.
[both laughing]
It's almost like I don't know
who that person was on the tape.
I remember her
really well.
She was really fun,
wasn't she?
Yeah she's great.
-And I...
Don't get me wrong
it's not that my...
life isn't that...
I just...
I understand.
You don't have to explain
it to me.
Would you like to have
some fun tonight?
Like just some...
stupid ass... fun,
Well now I'm scared.
What you gonna do?
Do you trust me?
I don't know.
-It's been a long time
I don't know.
-It's a big question.
-Yeah, it's been
a long time.
-I really don't know.
I say fuck
the ice-cream now.
Fuck the ice-cream.
Is that your new rap?
-Fuck the ice-cream.
-Fuck the ice-cream.
Fuck the...
Fuck, fuck...
Fuck the ice-cream.
Fuck the ice-cream.
[piano music playing]
[Jim] Honey I'm home.
Hi, sweetheart.
You have to close
your eyes.
Please just stay
right up there,
do not come down here
and close your eyes.
[Jim] Why do I have
to close my eyes?
What's going on?
Because, it's a surprise.
Please sweetheart.
[Jim] Surprise, okay.
Did you have a good day,
Mr. Henderson?
Well, there's a lot to talk
about. How was your day Mrs.
I have something very exciting
to tell you as well.
Wow, that sounds like we
should have dinner and talk
about our day.
Do me a favor and please
be patient.
[Jim] Okay, I'm being patient,
I'm closing my eyes.
Keep them closed.
You know I'll do anything
for you Mrs. Henderson.
I'm counting on it.
Something smells delicious.
Hello, Mrs. Henderson.
Hello, Mr. Henderson.
Keep your eyes closed
and come with me.
-Come with me.
Hold on to the railing please.
It's very exciting.
-I love surprises.
-Tell me
all about your day at work.
On the count of three
I want you to open your eyes.
Okay, go for it.
Oh, my God!
Look at this meal!
It's gorgeous.
You made all this?
You cooked all this?
Have you been taking
cooking classes on the sly?
-Maybe, Mr. Henderson.
-Oh my Gosh!
Mrs. Henderson this meal
is beautiful, it's elegant...
Very French, Mr. Henderson.
But, I have a question.
What's the special occasion?
I can't believe
you forgot.
-Mr. Henderson?
Happy 20th anniversary lover.
Of course I didn't forget,
I was just playing.
Happy anniversary sweetheart.
There you are.
-Let's eat.
-Let's eat.
These eggs are really something.
And the noodles,
are they Asian?
They're really fantastic.
Yes that I slaved over
for a very long time they're
very hard to make.
Very hard to make.
You can really taste
it in there.
How is your day,
Well, Glen Donovan
was added again honey.
Glen Donovan, he's always
giving you such a hard time
I don't know if I can take
another day with him I mean it's
good stable income
until your career
takes off of course but...
Well, it's very funny
that you should mention
that because I got a very
exciting phone call today.
You did? What was your
phone call?
I got a call today,
saying I got the opening slot.
Opening... you got
the opening slot.
I am going to open for...
-Oh, no.
-Oh, yes.
Oh very seriously.
Are you going to be the first
female white rapper
to open for public enemy?
I knew it! I knew you
could do it honey.
Mrs. Henderson
they loved your demo.
They loved my demo.
They thought is was so fresh
I'm so impressed
come here.
Cheers to you
Mrs. Henderson.
I can't believe it. Oh, no.
But you'll be on tour and I'll
miss you and I'll be so sad.
What do we do about that?
What do you think
about saying...
fuck you!
to Glen Donovan?
I do it inside of my head
everyday darling, I'd love
to say it out loud.
[Amanda coughs]
Tell me what you have?
Tell me.
Okay, but you promise
not to laugh.
I won't laugh.
I would never laugh
at you honey.
I think you could be really,
really romantic.
And also an opportunity
to kinda like...
find ourselves
and be adventurous.
we rent an RV...
-Can I drive?
-You can drive.
Can we get matching hats?
We can get matching hats.
Laminated maps.
We'll go from town to town,
exploring things
and sleeping outside...
Rapping by night.
Rapping by night.
-Adventuring during the day.
We're gonna go looking
for hot springs.
Hot springs and zip lining
and weird food...
-And we can go
all over the country.
We'll see all our people.
We'll see all our
favorite people.
All our friends and people who
use to live here and moved away
and Jessica and Jason
will come and visit us.
It will be so magical.
Don't you think?
If you don't want to do it,
we don't have to do it,
I think it could
be really romantic.
Now you listen to me,
you son of a bitch.
This is the greatest thing
that's ever happened to us.
I got eggs on your beard.
You got some eggs
on my beard?
It's okay.
It's okay, you know why?
Honey that was really funny.
But in all seriousness hon...
you are...
a brilliant planner,
you're a wonderful cook.
-you're the greatest...
rap artist I've ever known.
It's the only true
thing you just said.
And I think
it's time for me...
to unveil my
anniversary surprise.
You didn't.
I did.
You didn't.
I did.
You didn't.
I did.
Watch the one eyebrow raise,
watch this happen.
You're not doing it honey.
There it is. Nailed it.
Not at all.
-Yes too.
-You have to do this, no.
Did I do it?
Well, now it's...
try again with something else.
I'm really sorry
I got egg on you, honey.
It's a very sweet thing
after all these years
you can still make
me laugh like that.
-Twenty years.
-Twenty years.
Let me give you
your surprise.
Jim, did you really
do something?
I did.
Jim, Jim... [chuckles]
Jim, what are you doing?
[ No More I Love You's playing]
You're leaving me
here for Jesus?
You know it.
Catholic school forever.
[imitating lyrics]
That's so good.
d I used to be woebegoned
d So restless nightsd
d My aching heart would bleedd
d For you to seed
d Oh but now...d
d I don't find myself
Bouncing home Whistling
Buttonhole tunesd
d To make me cryd
d No more I love you'sd
d The language is leaving me
In silenced
d No more I love you's...d
Hey, Mrs. Henderson
Hello Mr. Henderson.
It's a very good present.
I'm okay.
I'm all right.
I got this.
I think our prom...
Oh, it's really long song.
Surprised, your attention
span lasts long enough.
I know.
Song's damn good.
d Changes are shifting
Outside the wordd
d Outside the wordd
Yeah, there it is.
That was a very nice touch.
What's next?
[upbeat music playing]
[Amanda] Oh yeah!
-Let's go!
Backwards, this is how.
Jump, jump.
Yeah, okay.
Enough with the moaning.
Enough of that,
take it easy.
You know I was kidding
when I was on the rock
but seriously...
I don't want to punch
anybody as long as you rub
my head I'm good.
No, that means
it's ending don't
do that.
Don't do that.
I don't want
it to be over. No!
Yeah, that's
enough for you.
-No it's not.
-I think it is.
Keep going.
No, I'm not gonna
keep going, Jim.
I've done this for you
like a million times,
you've never done
it for me once.
Not once.
All right.
Stretch it out.
Are you kidding?
Could we please
get on with the rub?
I've waited very
long time for this.
You can't rush greatness, okay?
Take it easy, all right?
If you want to experience
the ancient art of phrenology,
you really need to wait
and get that right.
Come again?
Okay, well if you had seen
men at work the classic
Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez
film, from 1990 you'd know.
It's when you...
you know feel and interpret
someones skull features
and you kind of see
what's going on in there.
So I get up in here...
and I say...
see that knot right there that
says you're a terrible cook.
Okay, you're shitty.
Shut up.
I'm getting this straight
from the skull features
you are a lover of animals.
Yeah, you knew that already
because I told you
that I run a dog rescue.
Tell about your doggies.
Haven't really heard you
talk about it much.
It was Chris' idea actually.
What's that?
That I open the rescue.
-That's cool.
I love the idea of you
hanging out with...
little Freddy
like gray hounds.
Taken care of them,
I miss Freddy.
We don't really... we don't
do the gray hound thing.
What do you mean? You're like
the gray hound queen.
Yeah they're just sitting around
they're not practical.
Chris pointed out
and he's right
that you know...
We have lot
of special needs.
They take a lot of work,
we are a small organization
and then it's manageable.
I guess I just...
you love gray hounds, I mean.
Yes I do.
Always think of them
as people waring fur-coat.
I know.
I just always have felt
understood by them.
That makes sense.
I don't know they want
to be around people.
I don't know, feel what they
feel I can't explain it, it's...
I can tell that they know
that being out
in the world is hard.
And they feel it and just want
to be like nuzzled up and...
They want to make
you feel better.
They have that instinct
of wanting to be close
and I don 't know.
And you can take a gray hound
even with all of it's things
that come with owning
them or caring for them
or rehabilitating them.
You take the oldest,
neediest, most anxious,
broken down gray hound
and if you take that dog
to the beach
and you take off
his collar...
he will just fucking run.
Like he was still young.
Just tear down that beach.
It's like sand flying
and tongue is hanging out
of his mouth and he's so...
I don't know,
so beautiful.
I think you should think
about working with gray hounds.
[mellow music playing]
[Jim] Decent amount
of stars tonight.
Can I tell you something?
I've been taking
for a while.
I haven't told anyone.
You know,
not even Chris.
You know,
I don't know why...
I feel so embarrassed...
about taking them.
And it's probably because
there's nothing you know,
there's nothing wrong
with my life.
I should be happy.
But there's this...
and I don't know where
it comes from.
Well, I can
understand that.
The drugs are...
They're weird.
literally haven't cried
in five years.
Yeah I don't have that
particular problem myself.
Can I ask
you something?
Why don't you talk
to Chris about it?
I don't know.
There was a time when I...
I would have.
But things, things are just
kind of changing
They're just, changing now.
How so?
Bryce is off to college
and Theo is right behind him.
Chris is almost 64 now.
I mean I knew he was older
I didn't really think he
was that much older.
Yeah well, you know.
-It's not nothing.
I've loved...
I've loved...
being a mom to those
kids you know.
I just, I don't know
what it's going to be like
when they're gone and sometimes
I look at Chris and I think...
Oh, my God!
Am I going to be taking care
of an elderly person soon?
I knew it,
you know I knew it.
Going in but somehow...
Being faced with just the two
of us alone in the house.
I don't know.
It's real now.
-I get it.
-Hey, what?
You know, I want to say
thank you.
Why, what for?
For tonight.
For remembering
my pink and purple jelly beans
You know.
For never making
me feel, wrong...
about who I am.
I just...
You're embarrassed
on my behalf.
No, just had a though
and it's...
Nothing, no really...
I just told you something
that I never told anyone
and I thing you should...
I was thinking about...
our first time.
In the back of this truck.
At the lake.
All 38 seconds of it.
Oh, shut up.
I was excited.
I was sixteen, okay?
I've developed some
serious skills
since then, in fact I've been
servicing the entire Tucson,
Arizona area...
-What are you, a plumber?
It's funny though 'cause...
never really been
like it was with us.
For me.
You know,
that's a nostalgia thing.
-So it's...
This is same for me.
It's something about
those dumb kids.
-Pain is something.
It's magic,
yeah that's right.
Will you kiss me.
I know what I'm asking for...
[both moaning]
I love you.
[breathing heavily]
I have to go Jim.
-Jim, please.
Listen, I don't want
you to go.
Please, will you just please
give me a minute.
Okay, listen.
It's confusing I get it,
okay I just want...
We can talk about it.
I don't want
to talk about it.
I don't want
to talk about it.
I should not have let
this game go on for so long.
This is not a game
to me though.
Do you understand
that I am married?
I understand.
Do you know
what that means?
I belong
to someone else
Will you please give me
a little bit of room.
Fuck is my coat?
[breathing heavily]
Where did you get this?
It was in your closet.
You just took it?
Well, it's addressed to me.
First of all.
And second of all
I wanted to read it.
Well this is just
a game to you, Amanda
then why do you need
to read a letter that I wrote
to you 22 years ago?
What is this...
What could this
possibly mean to you?
You know,
I don't know.
I just wanted
to read it.
This is my letter.
-I know that and I'm sorr...
I don't think you
understand that.
I think you need
to understand something
that this is my letter.
Okay, this belongs to me.
And you can't come
into my house,
and just take this
and do what ever
you want with it,
without asking me,
because it's mine too.
You understand me?
What is this?
That was my baby too.
Okay? It was ours.
It was ours.
[Jim crying]
You just fucking...
Why did you?
Why did you do that?
Why did you do that?
I was a scared kid!
I didn't know
how to handle it.
You had to give me
a minute.
You fuckin' went away.
You were the one who told me
that we were too young.
I was scared.
Why did you fucking do it?
It was our life!
When we were so happy.
We lost it.
We lost everything.
[breathing heavily]
Oh God!
[Amanda] Breath.
Take a deep
breath please.
[Jim]I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too.
I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry too.
[mellow music playing]
[birds chirping]
[birds chirping]
I need you
to understand something.
I didn't just irrationally make
the decision to do what I did.
And I know...
I see now that it was
incredibly hard on you.
But I was the one who had to go
in there and actually do it.
Actually go through with it.
You know?
And I do get that I didn't
handle it well, I didn't...
I just... I tortured myself.
Going over the options,
alone in my bedroom.
Going over and over,
what I should do.
And then you sent me
that stupid note.
Making all those weird,
sarcastic jokes and...
And then you sent me
that stupid get well soon
balloon, a balloon, Jim.
I don't know there
was something about it where
it became so clear to me
that you were too young...
to handle it.
We were too
young to handle it.
And I knew that I was gonna
have to go through it alone
and I knew I couldn't,
do it alone.
And you know...
Do I have regrets? Yes.
What can we do?
Please. You just read it now.
"Amanda, I know we can
get through this together.
You are my world.
I will never
stop loving you."
It was the first version
that I wrote to you.
Why didn't you
send this to me?
I was scared.
It was just stupid.
I'm sorry.
I'm contagious.
Now it's just
never gonna stop.
[guitar music playing]