Blues Brothers 2000 (1998) Movie Script

- Good morning, Warden.
- Tom.
Is that Elwood Blues?
Yes, sir. Released yesterday.
Did you tell him about Jake?
No, sir. I thought you told him.
I'm sorry.
...I work for a friend of yours.
Who's that?
Your old drummer, Willie.
I dance at his club.
He heard you were out
and asked me to get you.
He said he'd give you a job.
Matara, could you drop me off here?
What can I do for you?
Sir, how much would that full-sized...
...Ford police package run me?
Get yourself $500...
...and come back to see me.
Okay, sir.
That's a nice car.
I'll save it for you.
I wasn't sure you would come, Elwood.
A letter from you is like a command, sister.
You know that.
Actually, it's Mother Mary now.
That's a promotion, isn't it?
I was sorry to hear about Jake.
Yeah, well I guess
he's in a much better place.
Where is Curtis?
Curtis has gone on as well, Elwood.
I'm sorry.
So that's why he stopped writing me.
He was very upset
when the orphanage closed.
Curtis was the closest thing to a dad
Jake and I ever had.
He gave us the music.
The Lord works in mysterious ways,
We must go on and fight the good fight.
The orphanage is gone, Jake's gone,
Curtis is gone.
I got no brother, no roots, no life.
I got nothing!
Young man... were not taught and raised by me... fold at the slightest whiff
of adverse circumstances.
Now quit your silly moping,
pull yourself together and snap out of it!
But nothing! Wise up!
Turn your heart to the Creator.
You are so quick to despair.
You are not the only person in the world
who has had tragedy in their lives.
Did you know that Curtis had a son?
Curtis had a son?
Before Curtis came to us
at St. Helen of the Blessed Shroud...
...he had a musical group
that toured juke joints in the Midwest.
In one town, Curtis had an affair
with a married woman.
Go, Curtis.
I mean, that's terrible.
That's what I thought you meant.
The woman became pregnant
and decided to stay with her husband...
...never telling him
that the boy child wasn't his.
Curtis was devastated.
He came to us as a custodian...
...and spent the rest of his life
caring for little orphans like you.
That's a beautiful story.
Wait a minute. If Curtis had a son...
...that guy would be kind of like
my stepbrother.
I have a family.
Curtis stayed in touch
with the boy's mother.
He sent his paycheck every week.
Where is this boy now?
He's a grown man now,
and doing quite well.
He's in the city.
His name is Cabel Chamberlain.
Cabel Chamberlain.
He knows nothing about Curtis.
You are not to tell him.
I wouldn't say anything.
Do you know anything about mentoring?
No. What about it?
I'd like you to meet someone.
Sister, would you send Buster in here?
Wait a minute.
Thank you.
Come in, Buster, and sit down.
Elwood, say hello to Buster.
Hi. How ya doin'?
Buster, say hello to Elwood.
Hi. How ya doin'?
The kid's a wiseass.
What did you say?
I said, what a sweet kid.
That's more like it.
Now, here's my proposal.
Buster is a ward of the State.
Due to lack of space, the archdiocese... housing homeless children
here at the hospital.
What's that got to do with me?
I thought you could come
and spend time with Buster.
Why don't you take Buster to the library?
You know, I've been jacked around...
The library. No problem.
See you in two hours, boys.
Here's the deal. You wait here.
I'll come back for you with the car.
Do you have a car?
I'm working on it.
Chicago. Cabel Chamberlain.
Thanks for the ride.
Kid, are you stalking me?
What are you, fifteen? Seventeen?
I'm ten.
I know what that's like.
You're lonely, searching for a place in life.
Don't blow it like I did.
Stay away from drugs, gangs, cyber porn
and you could be President some day.
But I don't want to be President.
I'm busy. I got kind of a brother in there.
He must be in trouble.
Besides, you don't want to hang around
with some over-forty recidivist.
Now scram.
A Mr. Elwood J. Blues is here to see you.
Yes, sir.
Commander Chamberlain's office
is on the 12th floor. He's expecting you.
"Commander" Chamberlain?
How can I help you, Mr...
Blues. Elwood J. Blues.
Could you take off your hat
and glasses in my office?
Okay, you can put your glasses back on.
What exactly is the nature
of your visit here, Mr. Blues?
Well, it's like this.
I used to be in a band called
The Blues Brothers.
With a partner whose name was
Jake Blues.
Go on.
And you are our long-lost brother.
Mr. Blues...
...I am an only child.
But your real father
was like a real father to me, too.
- My real father?
- Yeah, Curtis.
Have you noticed
that I am African-American?
That's okay. So was Curtis.
See, your mother and Curtis had an affair...
...which produced a little boy. That's you.
My father...
...passed away 14 years ago.
He was a full-bird colonel
in the U.S. Air Force.
My mother... lives in Phoenix, Arizona
and a more...
...honorable, sweet-tempered
and goodly woman does not exist.
I'm not making any moral judgments.
But one can project
what might have happened.
Your mom, young...
...her husband in the military.
Often away from home...
...which may have pushed her
to reach out...
...stray from the nest.
- That's enough.
Just a minute...
Hi, Ma. It's me, Cab.
Listen, I have a...
...gentleman here who's telling me
some story about a man named Curtis.
So, what precisely do you want from me?
Seeing as we're kind of stepbrothers...
...I thought you could help me out.
I need $500 for this car.
I thought maybe you could loan me
the money. Or...
Or what?
I want to put the band back together.
You could join us.
I am a commander... the Illinois State Police.
I enjoy my job.
You waltz in here...
...telling me that I have a dead...
...white criminal brother,
who was in a band, which...
...the last time they played anywhere
were charged with...
...grand larceny...
...reckless endangerment,
felonious motor vehicle assault...
...over 700 violations
of the Highway Traffic Act...
...and damages, both public and private... excess of $24 million.
And you are asking me
if I want to join this band?
I could show you all the moves.
Get the hell out of my office, right now!
I think you need a hug.
And don't ever come back here again!
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
He dropped this.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
...five hundred dollars.
Thank you, sir.
This your boy?
I'm his associate.
Yeah, that's who he is.
Lucky you came today.
I'm selling the place tomorrow.
I'm going to New Orleans
to try out a new career.
Good luck, Mr. Gasperon.
Good luck to you, Mr. Blues.
Mother Mary, we've done two bed checks...
...searched the grounds
and we can't find him.
Buster. He's missing.
Have you seen my wallet?
It smells like dog shit in here.
Don't say "shit," kid.
You don't need that shit, kid.
It's me.
Yeah, right.
Look who's here. Elwood Blues.
From Willie's old band.
Is this your son?
Well, he's...
I'm hungry.
Come on, let's get you something to eat.
Willie's in the office.
What would you say
to my putting the band back together?
I'd say I've got a good business here
and I'm not going back to jail.
You're saying you don't miss it?
That's right.
You know you miss the music.
No pharmaceutical could equal the rush
you get when the band grooves.
People are dancing and shouting.
The house is rocking.
Yes, Elizondo?
Found your wallet.
Let's see...
...badge, license, credit cards.
Just the cash is missing. Where was it?
Turned in to lost-and-found
in a paper bag...
...with this note.
I want a felony theft warrant
put out on Elwood Blues.
I want this guy. Now.
What did he mean,
calling you his "little brother"?
Right away, sir.
Good evening, welcome to Willie's.
Illinois' most elegant establishment
for entertainment, erotica and ecdysia.
Now, four young women
currently studying medicine...
...and paleontology
at Northwestern University.
Tia, Sandrah, Devon and Carla.
Here they are, The Roommates!
The band, the girls and I,
want to do a song for you.
A little Mack Rice cover.
You married men...
...better stay tied up,
because it's cheaper to keep her.
"It's cheaper to keep her
"It's cheaper to keep her
"When your little girl makes you mad
"You get an attitude and pack your bag
"Five little children
that you're leaving behind
"You're gonna pay some alimony
or do some time
"It's cheaper to keep her
"Too much to leave that little girl
"It's cheaper, it's cheaper
"If you decide to roam
"And leave your happy home
"You got to pay the house note
"The child support, your insurance
"Alimony, mortgage one, mortgage two
"It's cheaper to keep her"
What was that?
Strong-arm shit.
Protection payment. You know.
This time it's Russians.
But if I pay them, they leave me alone.
That's not right.
No shit.
If I could only figure out
what Elwood's game is.
Why did he come to see you?
To borrow $500
and ask me to join his band.
Well, he got his $500.
What instrument do you play?
How about a big hand for our gorgeous,
professional lady dancers?
Where's Willie?
Visiting his ailing stepfather. Why?
The Russians are here to see him.
I'll handle it. Where's Buster?
In the office, sleeping.
Good evening, gentlemen.
Mr. Hall has been unavoidably detained.
He may be a trifle late.
May I buy you a drink?
Got a minute?
Don't forget our deal now, Elwood.
You can stop worrying.
Those Russians won't be back.
Those guys are bad mothers, Elwood.
Serious shit. They kill people.
They kill people?
Try to understand.
Those goons are orphan remnants of
the post-perestroika Soviet secret police...
...who twisted the well-intentioned,
original Marxist-Leninist doctrine...
...using state security, which was
corrupted by Beria in the '30s.
Once a mass populace
is coerced into such behavior...
...a radical shift, like glasnost,
produces guys like...
...headless automata who continue
the brutish measures... which their genes were programmed
since the fall of the Romanovs.
That's great. I feel much better.
"Stay away from Willie's.
Signed, the Masked Avenger. "
Now, a very special treat, our own...
...bartender, Mack McTeer,
will perform for you tonight.
Now, come on.
What are you doing?
I'm sorry. I promised the guy.
It'll never happen again.
"I'm all alone and fancy-free
"But that ain't the way I want to be
"Now girls, get your game up tight
"We're gonna have
a wing-ding-doodle tonight
"For right now I'm lookin' for a fox
"I'm lookin' for a fox
"Tonight the sky's the limit
"I got some money and I'm gonna spend it
"It's Saturday night and I wanna play
"I'm gonna groove
till the break of day
"I'm lookin' for a fox
"Not a brand new pinstripe suit of clothes
"Big wide polka-dot tie
"Cuff links as big as jaybird eggs
and look at that
"Shoes made out of alligator hide
"Wanna see somethin' else here?
"I'm ripe and ready and I'm hot to trot
- "Boy, you on fire
- "You know you can get anything I got
- "Two take for two
- "I got the money if you got the time
- "We open all night
- "All you gotta do is give me a sign
"I'm lookin' for a fox"
Mack, you know something?
You can sing, man.
Everyone please leave now!
- Where's Buster?
- I don't know.
Come on! Hurry!
You okay?
The girls get out?
Yeah, everyone's fine.
Matara, thanks for everything.
Time to go.
They have automatic weapons.
Look in the glove compartment.
Carpet tacks.
They have guns and we have carpet tacks.
They're not carpet tacks.
They're dry-wall nails.
Roll down the window. Dump the nails.
The Lord works in mysterious ways, Mack.
What do you mean?
If not for those Russian gangsters
and you helping me...
...I wouldn't have seen you sing.
You're good.
Thank you, Elwood.
Since the Russians torched Willie's club,
he'll need a job.
You'll need a job. I'll need a job.
So, you'll join the band,
then we'll all have jobs.
- Follow me?
- Sure.
What band?
- Elizondo.
- Find anything?
No bodies, but lots of gunfire.
Find the club owner?
Not yet.
You better see this.
You finally sell that demonstrator?
Check this funky car coming in.
I got a weird vibe.
The suit's real neat,
but do I have to wear the hat?
These are unsophisticated men. They only
respond to fear and the draw of lucre.
We elicit this by using
iconographic symbols...
...and psychological intimidation.
The way we look together...
...presents a uniform image
of strength and organization.
Don't say anything.
Look mean. No smiling.
Good to see you.
Even though that last gig was a nightmare.
Boys, meet my new partner in the act,
Mighty Mack.
Mack, "Blue Lou" Marini,
Matt "Guitar" Murphy.
Mighty Mack.
So, what's this about?
Putting the band back together.
You can't mention that here.
She's back from lunch.
Sorry to hear about Jake.
Thank you, ma'am.
Who's this?
My new partner, Mack McTeer.
Pleased to meet you.
Matt, can I speak to you privately?
Sure, baby.
When you got out of prison,
you said, "No more Blues Brothers. "
Yes, I did.
We've built up a good business using
the cash from the sale of the coffee shop... start this Mercedes dealership.
What's wrong with you?
And I keep your pathetic friend on...
...even though he hasn't sold a car
in over two years.
Yes, you have, and no, he hasn't.
You talk straight with me.
I always do.
And treat me with respect at all times.
I do, baby.
You know what I mean when I say respect?
"What you want, baby I got it
"What you need
"you know I got it
"All I'm asking
"is for a little respect
when you come home
"Hey, baby
"When you come home
"I ain't gonna do you wrong
while you're gone
"I ain't gonna do you wrong
'cause I don't wanna
"All I'm asking
"is for a little respect
when you come home
"Baby, when you come home
"Just a little bit
"I'm about to give you all my money
"And all I'm asking in return, honey
"Is to give me my profits
when you get home
"Your kiss is sweeter than honey
"and guess what so is my money
"All I need is just a little respect from you
"when you get home, baby
"Just a little bit
"R-E-S-P-E-C- Find out what it means to me
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T take out the T-C-P
"Sock it to me
"Yeah, baby
"Sock it
"I don't want much
"Sock it to me
"Baby, I'm telling you
"A little respect, oh yeah
"Give it to me all over the world
"I get my respect
"Yes, I do, it's an everyday thing
"I'm telling you it is
"Wherever I go
"All over the world I need respect
"Yes, I do
"I deserve respect"
Listen, Matt. You ain't all of that, cat.
And Elwood, you ain't no good.
Matt, this is something
I really don't want you to do.
For heaven's sake, if this is what
you'll be like to live with, go ahead.
Thanks, baby.
Let's go.
Elwood... boys,
please stay out of trouble this time.
Dunn and Cropper, WEXR.
Chicagoland talk radio.
- This is Dunn and Cropper.
- Cropper and Dunn.
On WEXR, 103.7 talk radio.
Today's topic: Automatic life terms
for three-time felony offenders.
Let us hear your opinion.
You're on the air.
I am not in favor
of this triple felony legislation.
I'm a recently released inmate,
starting a new life...
...but with a five-felony record...
I think I know that voice.
What chance do I have
if I make one more mistake?
One more time, I could go down for life.
It's not fair.
My question is, how can you goddamn...
...shit-spewing media sluts...
Thank you. Now a commercial.
Steve, that sounded a lot like...
Elwood J. Blues.
No place to run.
And no place to hide.
I know your trumpet player's
a funeral director now.
But cemeteries give me the creeps.
He'll be the most difficult. Follow my lead.
Lay to rest Nicholas Tsetsevkaya.
A young man cut down too soon... violent enemies.
Will you get lost?
Do you know who these people are?
Who's he?
What's with the monkey?
That's my associate, Buster Blues.
This is Mighty Mack, my new lead singer.
So, that's what this is about?
Forget it. Goodbye.
Mr. Fabulous...
...when should we come back for the rings
and watch off the corpse?
And is the medical school buying his dick?
We're dead now.
Since I've been working for Ed
and Mr. Pickett, I haven't looked back.
These guys are amazing.
What do you want, Elwood?
I'm putting the band back together.
We need Murph on the keyboards.
I see.
I won't go without your say-so.
Murph says you're in publishing,
telephone sales and matrimonial services?
Yes, we are.
Just what is it that you do exactly?
I'm 18 years old. I'm blonde.
I'm 36-24-36, and my name is Bambi.
"If you need a little lovin'
"Call on me
"If you want some kissin'
"Call me, baby
"I'll be right home
"All you got to do is pick up the telephone
"And dial now
"That's my number
"If you need some huggin'
"Call on me
"If you want some kissin'
"Call on me, baby
"No more lonely nights
"We'll be alone
"All you got to do is pick up the telephone
And dial
"That's my number
"Oh, I'll be right there
"Just as soon as I can
"If I be a little bit late
"I hope that you'll understand
"If you need a little lovin'
"You can call on me
"If you want some of my kissin'
"Call on me
"No more lonely nights
"We will be alone
"All you got to do is
call me on the telephone
"And dial
"That's my number, baby
"That's our number
"You can reach the Love Exchange
"Call Ed's Love Exchange"
Charlie, would I lie to you?
Charlie, take it easy. That's all in the past.
He hung up on me.
A lot of burnt bridges, Mr. Blues.
I know you can book us somewhere.
You're still the best.
Ever hear of Queen Moussette?
The Louisiana witch, Queen Moussette?
That's her. She has a "Battle of the Bands"
going on at her club.
Big cash prize. Your band wins,
I get 15 percent of the take.
I'll book you a couple of gigs
on the way to Louisiana.
Golly, thanks, Mr. Sline.
Let go of me.
One more thing. You'll have to audition
for Queen Moussette.
Don't tell the boys about this.
We'll call to find out where our first gig is.
Just be careful, Elwood.
Alan Rubin.
Mr. Fabulous.
Mr. Fabulous.
The Blues Brothers Band.
You're going to love them.
They're absolutely sensational.
Really sensational.
They're a great blues band.
Yeah, blues band.
No, blues, not bluegrass.
You don't want a blues band?
They're the Bluegrass Brothers.
They're wonderful.
They absolutely pulverize an audience.
You're going to call and thank me.
The Bluegrass Brothers.
Our first date is at the county fair... Cynthiana, Kentucky...
...and then we have this mystery gig
in Louisiana.
Mystery gig?
Elwood, you got the keys to the trunk?
It's full.
I haven't played a county fair since '68.
Sounds like a lot of laughs.
We're back on the road again.
Who are you, Willie Nelson?
I'll ride with Elwood.
Go right ahead, Mr. Thrill-Seeker.
Excuse me, sir.
Didn't you used to be Elwood Blues?
Who's asking?
I've listened to your stuff since I was a kid.
Yeah, so?
My friends and I have a band.
We're rehearsing nearby.
It would be so cool, and mean so much
to me, if you'd come listen to us play.
Sure. Go get started
and I'll be there in a minute.
Let's highball!
Mr. Blues?
- It's been almost seven days, Mother Mary.
- We must call the police.
Kidnapping is a federal offence.
I suppose you're right.
We should call the police.
We just received a call.
Elwood Blues has kidnapped a child.
Roachdale 31.
- Wait.
- I got a cheeseburger cooling, man.
Buster, I'm sorry,
you'll have to see a bad side of me.
Mack, your shaving cream.
So none of you are driving that Ford?
And whose dry white toast is that?
Run for your lives!
My God, help us! Somebody help us!
He's having an attack!
It's puffball bacteria!
It's extremely contagious!
What in Sam Hill?
Run away! Oh, God!
It's puffball bacteria! It's contagious!
Save yourselves!
Save yourselves!
Save yourselves! Save yourselves!
Hot damn. That's quite a trick.
That white trash ex-con
invented criminally evasive driving.
He kidnapped a little...
Get after him!
Go ahead.
See you at the gig.
Where is the gig?
County fairgrounds, off Route 107,
Cynthiana, Kentucky, 11 PM tomorrow.
See you there.
How will he get there
with all the cops after him?
Wait a minute.
Don't I know you boys from somewhere?
Check, please.
We have to get off this road.
They've called ahead by now.
Two miles down, get off this
and on County Road 245 to Mariah Hill.
That'll get us close to the State line.
We have to lose them first.
You passed the turn.
I know.
You're hoping they lost interest?
This is Agent Peters
and Agent Bowman, FBI.
Good to have you here.
Elwood Blues is a menace
to decent people.
We'll get him, sir. That's a promise.
Every lawman in two states
is on this border.
Let him try to get past this roadblock.
Roll up your windows.
How long can we stay down here?
How long can you hold your breath?
Am I right?
Yes, sir.
I said, am I right?
Yes, sir.
I can't hear you!
Yes, sir!
You may think we're just a group
of sorry son-bitches...
...out here jerking each other off.
Or you may just think
that we know something.
I'll tell you something else.
The federal government has a computer.
This computer is wired... a computer in Jerusalem...
...and Moscow.
There's something in the river.
I saw something under the water, sir.
Son...'s okay to be nervous.
There are enough explosives in that boat... blow up every post office
in the country.
But nobody knows we're here.
Nobody knows our plans.
You guys having a picnic?
Don't shoot! You might hit the boat!
What boat?
That's the international Jewish,
communist conspiracy in action, people.
One of their spy satellites
picked up our location.
Kill them!
- Did you hear something?
- Nope.
- You sure they'll come?
- They're booked here. They'll come.
More stunts coming up...
...and only 20 minutes
until the wonderful Bluegrass Brothers.
These will make us look
a lot more bluegrass.
I'll fake some fiddle on my keyboard.
We go on after the last car stunt.
How will Elwood, Mack and the kid...
...get to the stage
with all the police around?
I like the car this color.
It's temporary camouflage, that's all.
All right. Go on.
Lots of heat here.
Maybe we ought to skip this gig.
That would be unprofessional.
Park it somewhere dark.
...the Devil Drivers' star, Rick Avery...
...does the triple-ramp loop
through the ring of fire!
Now the county fair is proud to present
tonight's musical entertainment...
...the Kentucky Bluegrass Brothers!
What's with the hats and beards?
You look like ZZ Top.
Sline booked us in here
as a bluegrass band.
Thank you so much, and howdy.
Good to see your smiling faces.
We'd like to see you a little bit closer.
Come on down out of the stands.
Come close to the stage.
Duck, mountain tempo in A minor.
"That old cowpoke went ridin' out
one dark and windy day
"Upon a ridge he rested
as he went along his way
"When all at once a mighty herd
of red-eyed cows he saw
"A plowin' through the ragged skies
"And up a cloudy draw
"The ghost herd in the sky
"Their brands were still on fire
and their hooves were made of steel"
Excuse me. Step aside.
Take your men behind the stage.
"A bolt of fear went through 'em
as they thundered through the sky
"For they saw the riders comin' hard
"And they heard their mournful cry
"Ghost riders in the sky
"Their faces gaunt, their eyes were blurred
their shirts all soaked with sweat
"They're ridin' hard to catch that herd
but they ain't caught 'em yet
"'Cause they got to ride forever
in that range up in the sky
"On horses snortin' fire
"As they ride on hear their cry
"Ghost riders in the sky"
Step aside! Comin' through!
Excuse me.
Thank you!
Everyone into the Bluesmobile!
Stop them!
We'll get them, sir.
Sline says their next job is at a place called
Queen Moussette's.
Queen Moussette's.
That's it. She's bone dry.
I'd like to be. Let me out.
Where are we?
Five miles north of Panther Burn,
What's the plan?
We start walking.
What's the point? I say we turn around.
Elwood. I think we got a rebellion
on our hands.
What do you mean?
Why don't you give them
a motivational speech?
So, you all want to quit?
Honestly, who can blame you?
I've dragged you down
as far as living humans can go.
All right. Fine.
'Bye. I understand.
So, what happens now?
I don't know. I guess it's over.
Go away, kid.
You're not being a very good mentor.
I ain't your mentor.
I don't even know what it means.
Just do me a favor and go away.
You're not the Elwood Blues I know.
The Elwood I know once said:
"No pharmaceutical drug
could equal the rush you get...
"... when the band grooves,
people are dancing, shouting...
"... and the house is rocking. "
Yeah, that was me.
The music. You know you miss the music.
Thanks, Buster.
Go if you wish.
Remember this.
Walk away now and you walk away
from your skills, your vocations...
...leaving our youth with nothing
but digitally-sampled techno grooves...
...quasi-synth rhythms, pseudo songs
of violence-laden gangster rap...
...acid pop and saccharine, soulless slush.
Depart now and you separate yourselves
from the vital legacies of...
...Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters,
Willie Dixon...
...Jimmy Reed, Memphis Slim,
Blind Boy Fuller...
...Louis Jordan, Little Walter, Big Walter,
Sonny Boy Williamson One and Two...
...Otis Redding, Jackie Wilson, Elvis Presley
and Robert K. Weiss.
Who is Robert K. Weiss?
Turn your backs and you snuff out
the fragile candles of blues, R&B and soul.
When those flames expire,
the light of the world is extinguished...
...because the music which has moved
mankind for seven decades...
...will wither and die
from abandonment and neglect.
Go ahead, cats. I'll get gas.
Hey, look. A circus.
It's a tent-revival meeting.
Excuse me. Who's preaching
the good word today, ma'am?
The Right Reverend Cleophus James
from Chicago.
Of the Triple Rock Baptist Church?
From Chicago. That's right.
I know him. He'll give us gas money.
We'll meet you guys inside.
Okay, thanks. Keep an eye on them.
Wait for us to arrive.
That was the Sheriff in Panther Burn.
The Blues gang is at a revival meeting.
Now, all you people of the faith...
...are you ready for the word?
Are you ready for the word?
Are you ready for the word?
Let us begin with a sweet song
of meditation...
...from our own Reverend Morris
and the Tent-Revival Choir.
- "Who's that writing?
- "John the Revelator
"He wrote the book of the seven seals
"Yes, tell me who's that writing
"John the Revelator
- "Tell me who's that writing
- "John the Revelator
"Tell me who's that writing
"John the Revelator wrote
the book of the seven seals
"God walked down a hill one day
"Called Adam by his name
"Adam wouldn't answer
"'Cause he was naked and ashamed
- "Tell me who's that a writing
- "John the Revelator
"Tell me who's that a writing
"John the Revelator wrote
the book of the seven seals
"You know Christ
- "Twelve apostles
- "Spirit willing
"Three he led away
"He said, 'Watch with me while I walk
"For I go yonder and pray'
"Listen when Christ rose
"On Easter mornin'
- "Mary and Martha came down to see
- "The resurrection
"He said, 'Go and tell my disciples
"To meet me in Galilee'
- "Yes, who's that writing?
- "John the Revelator
"Who's that writing?"
Stop the music.
Those men are under arrest.
- It's Reverend Cleophus!
- Preach the word!
"He who is without sin
cast the first stone. "
Say it again.
You tell him, Reverend.
For are not all men alike... their boundless capacity for sin?
Can you not forgive?
Can you not embrace
those who have wronged you?
You get on your knees and pray,
"Oh, Lord, forgive me. "
But you won't forgive your brother,
who you see every day.
Look to yourself
for the redemption you seek!
And acknowledge your own precious blood.
Acknowledge your own precious blood!
I want you to invoke its calling
in the blessed name.
Invoke the calling of the blood.
...the calling of the blood.
Invoke the calling of the blood!
Invoke the calling of the blood!
Invoke the calling of the blood.
The calling of the blood.
Yes. I understand.
I totally, absolutely...
...completely, positively understand.
This is my God-given...
- "Tell me why I'm shouting
- "John the Revelator
"Wrote the book of the seven seals
- "Tell me what I'm shouting
- "John the Revelator
"Wrote the book of the seven seals
- "Tell me why I'm shouting
- "John the Revelator
"John the Revelator wrote
the book of the seven seals
- "Tell me what I'm shouting
- "John the Revelator
"Wrote the book of the seven seals
"The revelation of Jesus
"I thought I was a policeman
"The revelation of Jesus
"An officer of the law
"The revelation of Jesus
"But then I had a revelation
"Because of what I saw
"The revelation of Jesus
"My life was so easy
"Everything was black and white
"But now I see all the colors
"All of the day and all the night
"I thought Elwood was funny
"Peculiar, just plain odd
"But now I see that he's brought me
"Closer and closer to my God
"My outlook was always so gloomy
"My day was dull and gray
"But now I see very clearly
"Oh, happy day
They've brainwashed the commander!
Get them!
Get to the Bluesmobile!
Let's move. Come on!
I get it, Elwood! This is my calling.
The calling of the blood!
Don't look back.
Look out!
Did we get them?
This is what I should be doing! All of us!
Music, song, dance.
That's why the military and police exist.
To protect the artists of the world.
If we can just win the
"Battle of the Bands. "
"Battle of the Bands"?
We have to audition first.
Fine! Audition. We'll slay them.
At least we're safe now
to do what we do in peace and comfort.
Blues Brothers Band.
Blues Brothers Band.
What the hell is this place?
It's where we audition.
The Plantation Club. Queen Moussette's.
So that's why all the mystery.
Yeah, she's a cannibal.
The biggest, ugliest,
meanest voodoo witch.
She's 130 years old.
She's a 130-year-old voodoo witch
who eats people?
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
What if we fail the audition?
Queen Moussette will receive you now.
Queen Moussette.
You said she was old and ugly.
Lxnay on the ugly-nay.
Your Majesty...
...the Blues Brothers Band.
You remove your hat and show respect.
I like that.
Thanks, Queen.
So... wish to enter
the "Battle of the Bands" contest?
We wish to win the first prize.
You must qualify.
You must audition for me.
Where are your instruments?
Well, ma'am, you see,
there was this kind of a...
Never mind.
Is there anything in particular
you would like to hear, Your Highness?
Yes. Do something Caribbean.
Ma'am, we're the Blues Brothers.
We do blues, rhythm and blues...
...jazz, funk, soul, we can handle...
...rock, pop, country, heavy metal, hip-hop,
rap, Motown, operetta...
...and show tunes. In fact,
we've even been called upon to do a polka.
However, Caribbean is a type of music
which has not been, nor ever will be... this band's repertoire.
"Nassau's gone funky
"Nassau's gone soul
"We've got a doggone beat now
"We're gonna call our very own
"Nassau rock
"And Nassau roll
"Nassau got
"A whole lotta soul
"Be all right
"Miniskirts, maxiskirts
and afro-haired dudes
"People doin' their own thing
"They don't care about me or you
"Nassau's gone funky
"Nassau's gone soul
"And we've got a doggone beat now
"We're gonna take care of business too
"New York you know
"Has got a lot of soul
"And London Town
"Is too doggone cold
"Nassau's got sunshine
"And this you all know
"But we all go funky
"We got some soul too
- "Funky Nassau
- "All day
"Funky Nassau
"Come on
- "Funky Nassau
- "Sing it, children
"Funky Nassau
"Get into funky
"Hear, hear
"Don't stop singin', get funky
"Hit me!
"That's what I'm talking about.
That's funky!"
Thank you.
What was that?
...may enter the contest tomorrow night.
Let's get out of here.
This fax just came for you.
The "Battle of the Bands"
is at Queen Moussette's tonight.
Let's roll!
Now, if you will,
a hot Moussette's welcome...
...for Mr. Malvern Gasperon...
...and the Louisiana Gator Boys.
The Louisiana Gator Boys?
Look at them.
A bunch of wanna-be players.
How good could that mess sound?
Don't worry about it.
We'll smoke them turkeys.
"Been downhearted, baby
"Ever since the day we met
"I been downhearted, baby
"Ever since the day we met
"I've a love that's nothin' but the blues
"Baby, how blue can you get?
"My love is like a fire
"Your love is like a cigarette
"My love is like a fire
"I said yours is like a cigarette
"I watched you step down on it, baby
and crush it
"How blue can you get?
"You're evil when I'm with you
"And you are jealous when we're apart
"Yes, you're evil when I'm with you, baby
"Lord have mercy
you're jealous when we're apart
"How blue can you get?
"The answer's right here in my heart
"I gave you a brand-new Ford
"But you said, 'I want a Cadillac'
"I bought you a ten dollar dinner
"You said, 'Thanks for the snack'
"I let you live in my penthouse
"You said it was just a shack
"No, she didn't
"I gave you seven children
"And now you wanna give 'em back
"I been downhearted, baby
"Ever since the day we met
"I've a love that's nothin' but the blues
"Baby, how blue can you get?"
They're still zombies.
What do we do?
We got no choice. We have to play.
And now our final band of the evening
from Chicago, Illinois...
...the Blues Brothers Show Band!
Has not been,
nor ever will be, in this band's repertoire.
The Blues Brothers Band.
Look at them.
A bunch of wanna-be players.
How good could that mess sound?
Don't worry about it.
We'll smoke them turkeys.
Good evening and welcome
to the "Battle of the Bands. "
We're the Blues Brothers Show Band.
Hope you like us.
"Without a warning
"You broke my heart
"You took it, darlin'
"And you tore it apart
"You left me sittin'
"in the dark, cryin'
"You said your love for me was dyin'
"I'm beggin' you, baby
"Baby, please
"I'm beggin' you, baby
"Baby, please
"Turn on the light
"Let it shine on me
"Turn on your love light
"Let it shine on me
"Let it shine
"I get a little lonely
"In the middle of the night
"I need you darlin', make things all right
"Come on, baby
"Come on, please
"Come on, baby
"Baby, please
"Turn on the light
"Let it shine on me
"Turn on your love light
"Let it shine on me
"I said a little bit higher
"Just a little bit higher
"Come on, baby
"Come on, please
"I'm beggin' you, baby
"I'm down on my knees
"Turn on the light
"Let it shine on me
"Turn on your love light
"Let it shine on me
"I feel all right
"Let it shine
Love Light. The Blues Brothers.
Now it is time for you...
...the audience, to decide.
When I raise my left hand, I want to hear
the applause for the Blues Brothers.
When I raise my right hand,
I want to hear the applause for...
...the Louisiana Gator Boys.
First, the Blues Brothers.
The Louisiana Gator Boys!
That's me! The Louisiana Gator Boys!
What do you mean by this?
We don't want any trouble.
Just give us the Blues Brothers.
Russians! I told you them son-bitches
were communists. Shoot them!
You try any of that boojie-boojie crap
on me, I'll tell you what.
Police! Coming through! Step aside!
Coming through.
I'm okay. I'm okay.
I'm with the band now.
It's good to see you again, Elwood.
Great to see you, Mr. Gasperon.
You're doing well in your new career.
Would you gentlemen care to jam?
What do you think, Eric?
Why not?
One, two, one, two, three, huh.
"I said hey, yeah
"I said a hey, yeah
"Come on everybody take a trip with me
"Well down the Mississippi
down in New Orleans
"You got a honeysuckle bloomin'
on the honeysuckle vine
"And love is a bloomin' there all the time
"Well every southern belle
is a Mississippi Queen
"Down the Mississippi
down to New Orleans
"I said hey, yeah
"Come on take a stroll
down to Basin Street
"Listen to that music
with the Dixieland beat
"Well the magnolia blossoms fill the air
"Well you ain't been to heaven
till you been down there
"They got French moss hangin'
a big oak tree
"Get outta here, Jimmie Vaughan, take it
"I said hey, yeah
"Come on everybody take a trip with me
"Down the Mississippi
down to New Orleans
"Where the honeysuckle hangin'
on a honeysuckle vine
"Well love is bloomin' there all the time
"Every southern belle
is a Mississippi Queen
"Down the Mississippi
down to New Orleans"
I guess it's time to say goodbye, kid.
- I'm not going with them.
- You can't stay with Elwood.
They think he kidnapped you.
But they're wrong.
They won't believe that.
He's right, Buster.
If I go back with them,
they'll put me in a home with people...
...who don't love me,
and put you back in jail.
I'll never see you again.
And we'll both be sad forever.
So, what do we do?
We're all brothers now, right?
You guys stay here and distract them.
I'll kidnap Elwood.
Good luck.
See you down the road.
Further on up the road.
Stop that mound of moss!
The Lord does work in mysterious ways,
Put on your seat belt.
"Every southern belle
is a Mississippi Queen
"Down the Mississippi
down to New Orleans
"I said, look out, child
"Come on take a stroll
down to Basin Street
"And listen to the music
of the Dixieland beat
"The magnolia blossoms
really fill the air
"And you ain't been to heaven
if you ain't been there
"They got French moss hangin'
from a big oak tree
"Down the Mississippi
down to New Orleans
"Come on everybody take a trip with me
"Down the Mississippi
down to New Orleans, hit me
"They got honeysuckle bloomin'
on a honeysuckle vine
"And love is a bloomin' there all the time
"You know every southern belle
is a Mississippi Queen
"Down the Mississippi
down to New Orleans
"Well come on take a stroll
down to Basin Street
"And listen to the music
with the Dixieland beat
"Well the magnolia blossoms
really fill the air
"And you ain't been to heaven
if you ain't been there
"They got French moss hangin'
from a big-ass tree
"Down the Mississippi
down to New Orleans"
Sub fixed by KTX
I'm leaving.
"Please, please, please
"Please, please don't go
"Honey, please don't go
"I love you so
"Please, please don't go
"I love you so
"Take my hand
"I want to be your lover man
"I love you so
"Please, please don't go"