Body Bags (1993) Movie Script
Ah, good evening.
I was just taking a little break.
It's been a busy night.
Lots of new arrivals.
I call them the arriving departed.
Ahh!
Well, back to work.
Eh, what the hell.
One more for the road.
Just a dash.
Adds a little spine.
Long life.
Ohh, better!
Ahh, the doctor will see you now.
Hmm.
Uhh, ugly!
Man, are you ugly.
Well, we all know it isn't
what a person looks like.
It's what's inside that counts.
Mmm.
Ehh, death by natural causes.
Natural causes, natural causes.
More natural causes.
I hate natural causes!
Give me a big old stab wound
to poke around in, then I'm happy.
Ahh, here we are.
Body bags.
See, if it's murder or suicide
or a nasty accident,
they put 'em in these bags.
This one was found
on a stretch of lonely highway,
miles from the nearest town
on a pitch-black night.
Also in the news, another gruesome
murder in Haddonfield today.
The body of a young woman
was discovered buried
in the bottom of a trash bin
behind a shopping mall.
Police Chief, Ardith Robinson
of the Haddonfield PD
gave a statement
to reporters this afternoon
after the discovery of"...
Police believe the woman to be
another victim of a serial killer
responsible for a series
of ritualized slayings
in the southland.
The body of the woman
was found by hikers--
I'd be scared shitless working
all alone in a place like this.
Eh, I can take care of myself.
Besides, you're the one who has
to drive back to an empty apartment.
- Ooooh.
- Thanks a lot.
You don't mind
picking me up in the morning?
- What time?
- Seven.
Ooh.
This'll be the last time
I ask you for a ride, I promise.
They said my car will be
out of the shop by tomorrow.
I'll buy breakfast.
Deal.
See ya.
Can I help ya?
I'm Anne.
Okay.
The new girl.
Oh, yeah, right,
come on in.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Sorry I'm late.
- No biggie.
Oh, wow, this is almost identical
to the gas station I worked last month,
except that was a little bit smaller.
Well, why don't I give you
the, uh, the grand tour.
Uh, that's the cash register.
You just punch in the pump number
and amount, right?
Yeah, you got it.
That's the credit card machine.
No sweat.
And listen, when you get
their, uh, signatures,
make sure you get the license
plate number, all right?
- Right.
- It's important.
Um, the TV gets
maybe three channels.
Actually, I'll probably just
do some studying.
Um, the cigarette prices
are posted outside.
- Saw it.
- Okay, good.
Is that the bathroom?
Well, actually, we, uh, prefer
to call that the employee's lounge.
Yeah, great.
Let's see-- oh, oh,
do I ring out the register
when the morning shift
comes in?
Nah, just, you know,
uh, he'll take care of that.
Why don't you just collect
the cash and make change.
- Okay.
- Yep-- oh, you know what?
This door locks automatically
if you leave the booth.
- So, uh--
- Keys?
Right, keys, yeah, um--
God, I don't know
where the hell I left them.
Yeah, here they are.
The round one,
um, that's for the booth
and the square one
works everything else, okay?
Got it.
- Public restrooms.
- Yeah.
Um... yeah, I guess
that's about it.
You know, I feel a little bit guilty.
Leaving you out here
all by yourself.
- Eh, I'll be okay.
- Did you hear the news tonight?
- Yeah, it's horrible.
- Yeah.
- Hmm.
- Hey, you know what?
If you got a problem,
why don't you,
um, just give me a call, okay?
Hey, thank you.
- Sure, no problem.
- Will do.
Okay.
Uh, that's it, then.
I'm outta here.
Have a good night.
- See ya later.
- You got it.
Pack of Coronados.
Two seventy-five.
Ls there anything else?
Uh, what you readin'?
It's for school.
A college girl, huh?
Yeah, well, I never got to go
to college myself, you know?
Yeah, I got some bourbon
out in the car.
Maybe I can get you
to come out of that booth.
Maybe I'll see ya around.
Okay.
Okay.
Hi, I need to fill her up.
Super unleaded.
- Number 12?
- Uh, yeah.
Haven't seen you
around here before.
It's my first night-- huh.
Uh, signature
and license, please.
Are you from Haddonfield?
Born and raised.
Thanks.
What are you studying?
Um, psychology.
Final exams next week.
Gotta pull my average up.
- You go to the university?
- Uh-huh.
Well, do you ever feel like,
uh, kicking back?
You know, just hanging out
someplace after class?
- Sometimes.
- Well, you gotta try the Oak Lounge.
It's, uh, down Seventh Street
by the freeway.
They got a really good band there
on weekends.
Hey, maybe if I run into you some time,
I'll play you a game of pool.
I'm no good at pool.
All the better.
Well, see ya.
Bye.
Ooh.
Hey, you forgot your card!
Hey!
Shit.
Ooh!
Great.
Hey.
I need the key to the restroom.
I really have to go
to the restroom.
Oh, uh... the key's in the booth.
I have to get the other set.
Uh, I'll be right back.
Shit.
Ugh, thank God!
Great.
Oh, you pump,
I gotta go to the john.
I'm gonna take care of this.
Whoo-hoo, honey,
hiya, sweetheart!
Listen, give me,
uh, oh, $20.
Of that
superduper irregular
on, uh, pump number
niner there, okay?
You're a little glum tonight, hon,
what's wrong?
You oughtta be out partyin'.
Pretty little thing
like you, huh?
Say, uh, I need a key to get
in that little boy's room there?
Uh, you do.
Listen, could you do me a favor?
Sure, name it.
There's a man,
he's in the men's restroom.
- He's a little weird.
- Weirdo, huh?
Yeah, I don't know--
I was wondering,
could you take a look
and see what he's doing?
You got that.
Yoo-hoo!
There's nothing coming out.
What's the problem?
Oh, oh, there's nothing
coming out.
- You have to lift the lever.
- Oh.
No. The lever--
the lever on the pump.
Never mind, I'll do it.
So sorry to bother you.
I just usually go
to the full serve.
Oh.
Oh, thanks.
Guy is sleepin' in there.
He's all curled up
around the toilet.
I had to stand back
and aim over his head.
Shame on you.
When you gotta go,
you gotta go.
I wouldn't worry about it, hon.
He's fast asleep.
The guy's a bum.
Let him sleep it off.
Did you get the restroom key?
Oh, I left it hangin'
in the door.
Come on, baby, let's go,
I'm cold.
See ya around, doll face.
Get in there, get in there,
arrrh!
God.
Shit!
I can do this.
Come on, come on...
Hi.
This is Bill.
I can't come
to the phone right now.
So, maybe you could
just leave a message.
See, I got a sore throat.
Be better if you could
call back.
If you wanna leave a message,
just wait for the beep.
Beep.
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on!
Answer the phone!
- 9-1-1--
- Oh, there's a man!
He's after me!
He's after me!
Bitch.
Oh!
Die, you son of a bitch!
Forgot my credit card.
Tell me, how long have you had
these feelings of hostility?
You can't say?
You know, you really shouldn't keep
your emotions all bottled up inside.
Eh, you're hopeless!
He should have had a lobotomy.
Let's go see what other fun things
we can find to do.
Cirrhosis of the liver.
Brain tumor.
Severe head cold?
Let's check the drawers.
I call these
my necrophile cabinets.
Seems to be stuck.
Obviously,
these drawers were built
before breast implants
became so popular.
These oughtta be recycled.
That's odd.
Ooh.
Marital spat?
Kiss and make up.
Ahh.
Believe it or not,
this was a human body.
Poor guy fell off a high-rise
onto the top of a car,
which swerved in front
of a train
and was dragged 900 yards
under the engine.
Fascinating what can happen
to the human body
under the right circumstances.
Tonight will be mostly clear
but some low clouds late tonight
through midmorning tomorrow.
Light winds,
lows in the upper 50s.
High tomorrow
in the mid 70s.
And now this--
At the Roswell Hair Growth
Laboratories,
we have perfected
a simple surgical procedure
to restore full hair growth
virtually overnight.
After my Roswell Hair
growth treatment,
I bought the company.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Come on in.
More wine?
Mm, I'd love some.
- Richard?
- Hm?
What did you do to your hair?
Nothing.
Well, I mean,
I combed it a different way.
Sweetheart, are you worried
about your hair thinning?
No, of course not.
I think you look
very distinguished.
You're very handsome.
You don't like it, do you?
I like you.
Eat.
This veal is delicious, you know.
So, you think I'm going bald?
No, I don't.
What's the big deal,
if you are anyway?
Oh, so, now I am going bald?
It really doesn't matter to me.
Are you telling me
that you don't like hair?
Of course, I like hair.
Then how can you stand
looking at me?
I mean, look at this.
Look at that, huh?
Richard,
you're behaving like a baby.
Well, why not?
I got hair like a baby.
Why don't you let me make
an appointment
for you with my hairdresser?
Dennis'll give your hair
a nice shape.
I don't need shape.
I need quantity.
I need volume.
I need more hair.
Now, what about this?
- Huh?
- Forget it!
- No way, no way!
- Wait, wait, wait, hey, hey!
Come on,
just give it a chance.
Take a look at it!
- You mean--
- That looks ridiculous.
- It won't fool anybody.
- Would you be careful with that?
Oh, for God's sake, Richard.
Okay.
- Well, you see,
- Yeah.
I don't think you'd ever know
it was a hairpiece.
If you just take a little-- no.
- No-oh-oh.
- What about there?
- No?
- Wouldn't do it there.
- Hey!
- God, no.
Hey, wait a minute.
- It's gotta go.
- What are you--
Come on, man, I need that,
I need that back.
Richard, you're in denial.
It makes you look like
the world's biggest jerk off.
It makes me look like
I've got more hair.
Sit down, Rich--
I need that back.
Fine.
Let me just tell you
how things are, okay, Richard?
You're headin' for egg city.
Located in the chrome dome county
in the state of the cue ball.
Do you understand what
I'm talking about?
In a year, your head will look
like a Christmas tree lot in January.
I understand that.
That's why I need your help.
Have you got some kind
of a thickening agent?
Something I can put in there
and give me a little bit more,
you know, volume, huh?
I can help you, Richard.
How?
Only if you let me.
- Of course.
- Okay.
Now, what I can do--
I can cut your hair.
I can give it shape.
- I can give it style, Richard.
- Come on.
Now, I can empower you, Richard.
- Give you back your manhood.
- I can't let you cut my hair.
- It's your birthright.
- What are you going to cut?
Please, let me just
style it a little bit.
What I do is, see--
I start from--
We start from here.
No cutting, no cutting.
Fine, just styling.
Just as plants
respond to soothing music,
your follicles will love
Harmonies for Hair.
Grow, baby, grow.
Hi!
I really like your hair like that,
it looks nice.
How about a drink?
Did Dennis do that?
Do what?
Paint your head.
Who painted your head?
Doesn't work?
Dennis didn't do that, did he?
Tell me he didn't do that.
No, I did it.
You don't like it, do you?
Poor baby.
All this is really gettin'
to you, isn't it?
Oh, it's driving me crazy, Megan.
I can't eat, I can't sleep.
The only thing
I can think about is my hair.
I'm losing my hair.
Oh, darling.
It wouldn't be so--
What?
You-- you've got stuff
all over your face.
Oh!
Look at all this crap.
I disgust you, don't I?
What disgusts me, Richard,
is your inability
to accept yourself
as you are.
I just don't want
to be a bald guy.
You're not a bald guy.
You-- you're just--
you're just a thinning hair guy.
It means the same thing.
It doesn't mean
the same thing, okay?
What it--
I just can't deal with you
when you're like this, okay?
- Megan.
- Bye.
Megan.
Megan, please.
I think we need to spend some time
away from each other.
Oh, sure, just walk out
on the bald guy.
Do yourself a favor, Richard,
wash your head.
Miracle Shine, the miracle shampoo.
Miracle Shine will add
new fullness of life to your hair.
That youthful luster is what
all other shampoo products
have claimed to achieve,
but never really delivered.
Miracle Shine, the miracle shampoo.
Add new--
With Colossal Grow
your lawn will never be thicker.
Professional gardeners are buying
Colossal Grow and doubling their--
The Roswell Hair Growth
Laboratories'
patented technique
is guaranteed.
No painful and iffy transplants.
No silly toupees or weaves.
Just a full head
of beautiful, living hair.
Call now for an immediate
appointment.
Operators are standing by
24 hours a day.
Remember, after my Roswell
hair growth procedure,
I bought the company.
5-5-5-9-9-1-1.
Yes.
Mr. Richard
Coberts is here for his appointment.
Show him in, please.
- Nice to meet you, Richard.
- Doctor.
Mr. Coberts' before picture.
Have a seat, please.
I take it my nurses
fully explained our procedure.
Uh, yes, I saw your commercial
on television.
How does it work?
We revive dead hair follicles
by applying
a protein-based solution
to the hair roots
beneath the scalp.
What's in the protein solution?
That's patented.
I love it when he talks that way.
Don't you think he'll look just
too sexy with a full head of hair?
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Richard might not be right
for our treatment.
Tell me, why do you want hair?
Uh, I think I'll feel better
about myself.
There are certain advantages
to being bald, Richard.
For instance,
Bald men are often considered to be
more trustworthy, less threatening.
The primal power that a full head
of hair bestows on a man
brings a certain pressure
to perform.
Some men realize that
they prefer to remain
out of the limelight.
Well, that may be so, Doctor,
but I want hair.
I want lots of hair.
You don't think
I'm up to it, do you?
- Are you?
- I think so.
I think so too.
It'll change your life, Richard.
I want it to change.
- You sure?
- I'm positive.
I love a positive man.
Very well.
Nurse, activate the compuscan.
I'll just insert your picture
into the graphic scanner.
And... voila.
Now, we, uh, have
quite a few hair personalities
for you to choose from,
uh, depending on which trait
you wish to emphasize.
This is your basic
conservative look.
We call it Traditional Republican.
- I don't know, eh...
- I agree.
No?
Well, uh, go a little bit more daring.
The Military Style, favored
by police, soldiers, athletes.
- I don't know, it's almost too, uh--
- Drab.
Exactly.
You see, I want something
that is very, um,
- exciting.
- Yes.
- Bold.
- Yes.
- Sexy.
- Yes, yes.
Let's try this.
We call this our Stallion Look.
Giddyup.
Yes, that's it, that's the one.
The Stallion Look it is.
Congratulations, Richard.
Uh, no surgery.
No, no, no,
heavens no, no.
We apply the solution here
then when you wake up
tomorrow morning in your own bed,
you take off the bandage
and you're a new man.
Oh, Lord, oh, Lord,
please let me have hair.
If I have hair,
I have everything.
I just want to love me again.
I don't love me
the way I am now.
I love me the way
I used to be.
The way I want to be.
Please, God,
just let me have--
Hair.
Oh, my... oh, my God.
I have-- I-- it's hair.
I have hair!
It worked.
Oh, God, look at tha--
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
It's the old me.
It's the new me.
It's the me
I've always wanted to be.
No, no, no.
I can't let you touch it.
If I let you touch it, I'll have to let
everybody else touch it.
Yes, yes, it is the source
of all my strength.
But it's not the only source.
See that my men are well fed.
And bring forth the women.
It's incredible!
Who is this Dr. Lock?
He advertises on TV.
Why doesn't everybody
go to him?
He's new.
It's amazing.
I can't believe
what it's done for you.
Ohh, mm-mm.
You even kiss better.
I know I said it didn't matter,
but you look so fantastic
with this new hair.
You're just so-- You're so--
You're so animal.
Tell me you love me, Richard.
Just me.
- Mm-mm.
- Morning, lover.
Morning.
Oh.
Oh.
Feel like I'm getting
a sore throat.
Maybe you overdid it
last night, huh?
Oh, I got this tickle
in my throat.
Well, I'd love to stay
and scratch it, but I gotta go.
See you later, sexy?
Take care of that sore throat,
you hear?
You gotta save all
your strength for me.
- I don't believe it.
- I don't either.
You know, this is--
it's amazing.
I know.
And it's not a weave.
No, no, it's all mine, baby.
Oh, man, it seems
so good and healthy.
You know what I mean?
Oh, man, all right, okay.
- Who is this Dr. Lock, huh?
- He's new.
- You look... great.
- I know.
You look great.
Now, I'm just going
to cut it a little bit, okay?
Just give it a little bit of shape.
You all right there, buddy?
Not too much, not too much.
No, no, no, just styled.
Just style.
Hello.
Lousy.
I don't know,
I just don't feel too good.
Huh?
Um, gettin' a haircut.
Yeah, well, after you left
this morning,
I discovered that my hair's grown
nearly six inches.
No, I'm not kidding.
I know, it's weird.
Listen, I'm glad you called.
Um, I'm gonna have
to cancel our date tonight.
I really think I'm coming down
with something.
No, I am not seeing
somebody else.
Come on, Megan,
what's the matter with you?
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
That's all right.
Yep, thanks.
Bye-bye.
Ahh, ah.
Ahh, ahhh.
Oh, no, oh.
Hello.
Not so good.
What time is it?
What?
No, nobody else is here.
Why don't you believe me.
I told you I'm sick.
It's not an act.
What?
Oh, fine, suit yourself,
don't believe me then!
- Happy, darling?
- Yes, of course.
Ah, Richard, how are you?
Guess.
You look great.
Another successful operation.
What are you talking about?
Look what's happening to me.
I know, isn't it wonderful.
Let me show you something.
You earthlings and your vanity.
You're so predictably easy.
You know, at first,
it was difficult.
When we arrived on this planet,
we were tiny, starving organisms.
And then we discovered
that your brains
are the only food
on which we can thrive.
The questions was one of access.
We seem to have found
the answer.
In fact, we're particularly
enjoying your brain.
We like fat.
Nurse, transfer Richard
into implant containers.
Then call in the next patient.
Ooh.
It seems to me, maybe I'm going
a little thin on top myself.
Ooh!
I think we have time
for one more body.
Does anyone
have anything to share?
No volunteers?
What a bunch of stiffs!
I want you guys to think about this
while I go have a drink.
Ehh!
Ooh, I forgot about this.
This is weird.
This may make you
a little tense.
It made someone a little past tense.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Here's looking at you, kid.
Bice is hoping Matthews
can get something going here.
Here's the pitch.
Good hit. Go.
Get over that fence.
Yeah!
What's going on, Matthews?
All of a sudden you're knockin'
the hell outta that ball.
Yeah, I don't know,
I'm seein' it real good.
I don't want to make you nervous,
but the Giants got their eye on you.
Yeah, I heard that one before.
Hey, they could use
a good pinch hitter this year.
Still gonna talk to us peons
when you hit the majors?
Yeah, right.
I'm not about to start counting
my chickens.
I've been too close
too many times.
Somethin' always happens.
I got a feeling
this is your year.
Let's say we knock back
a few brews and celebrate.
I don't think so, bud. I got someone
prettier to celebrate with.
You better watch it.
It ain't natural to love
your wife so much.
Hello.
Hey, darlin'.
How'd you do?
Three for four and a homerun
to win it in the ninth.
Oh, that's great.
I've got some good news too.
- What?
- Surprise.
- Tell me.
- Unh-uh.
You gotta come home
to find out.
I'll be there in a flash.
Love ya.
I love you too.
Bye.
Jesus Christ!
Ah!
Brent?
You're gonna be okay.
Honey, Dr. Bregman is here
and he needs to talk to you.
Are you feeling up to it?
Good morning, Brent.
Now, let me guess, Doc.
Heh, I got a concussion and--
Yeah, your putting me
on the three-day disabled list.
Brent, I'm sorry to tell you this,
but it's much worse than that.
I'm afraid you've lost
your right eye.
But I'm a baseball player.
It's the eye I use...
to see the God damn ball.
Oh, Honey.
No!
Dr. Watkins, Dr. Watkins.
Brent.
This is Dr. Lang.
He'd like to speak with you.
What about?
I think maybe I can help you.
I've spent the last ten years
of my life developing a method
to transplant an entire eye.
Now, it's never been done
or even tried.
But I do think it could work.
Unfortunately, I'm pretty much alone
in that opinion.
Let's say I'm skeptical.
I could play again?
Yeah, if it works.
Well, what if it doesn't?
Well, if the eye dies,
we'll just have to remove it
and you and I are back
to square one.
When can we do it?
Well, I'd prefer
to do it right away.
I-- I just received
a healthy donor eye.
Oh, I-- I know that sounds
a bit gruesome.
But, uh, it's an excellent match
for your size.
It is a brown eye, but we can use
a contact lens to match your color.
Talk it over with your wife
and we'll chat tomorrow.
The eye from a dead person?
I guess it would have to be.
- Uh-huh, yeah.
- Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
I know, it's weird, isn't it?
Oh boy, you think
about God's will.
- Is this God's will?
- Well, isn't it?
I don't know.
Well, he gave us the ability
to think and make discoveries.
You know what I mean.
You know, science and everything.
If it's for the good.
Well, what's not good about me
being able to have a career
and a family?
- Darling?
- What?
Nothing.
Brent, you're right.
- Of course, we should try it.
- Sure.
And if it doesn't work, babe,
it just-- it doesn't work.
And Saul arose from the Earth.
And when his eyes were opened
he saw no man.
They brought him into Damascus
where there was a certain disciple
named Ananias.
And to him
said the Lord in a vision,
"Ananias, arise and inquire
in the house of Judas
for one cold soul."
For I will show him
how many things he must suffer
for my name's sake.
And Ananias went his way
and entered into the house.
And laying his hands
on him said,
"Brother Saul,
the Lord Jesus,
who appeared to you
on the road as you came,
has sent me
that you may receive your sight
and be filled with the Holy Spirit."
Immediately, there fell from his eyes
something like scales.
And he received his sight
at once.
And he arose and was baptized.
Mrs. Matthews?
Mrs. Matthews?
Yes.
The operation
went smooth as silk.
Brent's in recovery
and should awaken at any moment.
I'm putting a patch
over the left eye.
Now, are we ready?
Ready.
Well, if everything
works out all right,
your vision should only be blurry
for a few days.
All right, now.
Here we go.
I like your hair
tied back that way.
Congratulations.
Here's the pitch.
Strike one,
slider down and inside.
Hi, I made them let me off work
an hour early.
What's wrong, sweetie,
another headache?
Yeah.
The doctor said the headaches
will go away soon.
And tomorrow you get your blue lens
and it's home sweet home.
You don't have to turn it off.
Yeah, it's just--
I can't watch it.
It should be me up there.
It will be, baby, it will be.
What is it?
Uh, nothin'.
Everything's gonna be okay.
I promise.
The headaches should diminish
little by little.
Now, it's important that you do
the eye exercises I gave you.
Now, let's, uh-- let's try this
to see how this lens fits.
- Honey, it looks great.
- Yeah?
Yeah.
Well, Brent, I'm gonna send
you home tomorrow.
Now, remember--
It's going to take
at least six weeks
for this surgery
to heal completely.
Ls there anything
he shouldn't do?
Oh, light exercise, fine.
But nothing strenuous.
And I want to see you
in a few days, okay?
Thanks, Doc.
Oh, man.
It's great to be home.
Since you're in such a good mood,
I think we should celebrate.
- Yeah.
- I'll give you my surprise, hm?
Surprise?
- What are you up to?
- You'll see.
- Ready?
- I guess.
Ta-da.
Oh.
What's this?
It's a present, dummy.
For me?
To Dad from Mom.
You're gonna have a baby?
We're gonna have a baby.
Aren't you happy?
Oh, yeah.
You don't look very happy.
I am.
I am.
Darlin', I think it's fantastic.
Brent, you're worried
about the future, aren't you?
I don't know.
Maybe a little.
You know, whatever happens,
it'll be okay.
Sure.
Aren't you gonna open it?
What am I doin'?
Okay, let's see.
A crib?
I thought this was
a present for me.
It is.
You get to put it together.
I get it, I get it.
- Did you put your drops in?
- Yeah.
Is the blur almost gone?
Oh, it's pretty clear.
Does your head still hurt?
Oh, it's just once in a while.
I suppose I'm gonna have
to get used to this new part of you.
Hey, I'm not the only one
with new parts around here.
Ain't it somethin'?
Five weeks old.
Just think, eight months
from now it'll be opening day.
Wouldn't it be great.
I'd tear up the league
in Spring training.
The majors pick me up.
The baby's born on opening day
and I celebrate
by comin' off the bench in the ninth
and swattin' one over the fence.
Wouldn't that be great?
It'd be great.
You look so pretty.
Oh, are we not supposed
to have sex?
Oh, no, we can have sex.
I just think
we should wait a little.
Until you heal better.
The doctor didn't say
anything about that.
Well, maybe tomorrow,
sweetie, okay?
It's just-- I'm not feeling, well--
you know.
I love you, Brent,
I'm just not in a sexy mood.
Would it help
if I put my lens in?
Is that what's bothering you?
Maybe that's not a bad idea.
I'm sure I'll get used
to you without it,
but at the moment it's...
I don't know.
It's a little strange.
No big deal.
The kid aims to please.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no.
- You okay?
- Mm-hm.
- I'm really sorry.
- Mmm.
Come, let's go to bed.
Oh, honey, the shutters.
Oh, jeez.
What's wrong?
Brent, what is it?
- A headache.
- Oh, come on, baby.
- Oh!
- Lie down.
Okay?
Gently, gently.
Easy.
- Ohh.
- Is that better?
Yeah, I think so.
I think it's goin' away.
A little too much excitement
on the first night, huh?
Yeah, you may be right.
Oh, that feels good.
Let's just go to sleep, hmm?
- Yeah, oh, just keep doin' that.
- Okay.
Honey, breakfast.
- Did you do your eye exercises?
- Mm-hm.
Listen, I have to get to work.
Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
If you feel like it, why don't you take
a crack at putting the crib together?
Because I got the back yard
to work on! Okay?
You don't have to yell.
Did I?
I'm sorry.
Our baby will hear you.
There's my ride.
Bye.
- Mm.
- See ya.
No!
Make a joyful noise
unto the Lord, all ye lands.
Know ye that
the Lord he is God.
Brent?
Brent?
Hey, darlin'.
Come on up.
Got something to show ya.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Mm.
You're in a good mood.
- Well, feelin' better, come on.
- Good.
Oh.
My handyman.
Yeah, it's pretty nifty, huh?
What about the sides?
I was about to do that.
There.
There.
Jesus Christ!
You took your diapers
off again.
Look at this mess.
You make everything so hard
for me, you--
What is it, what's wrong?
Oh, oh, Brent,
honey, what's the matter?
Oh, my God!
Well, can't he be reached
at home?
I don't care where he is,
I just need to talk to him.
No, no, no, it's my husband.
Well, I don't know,
it's an emergency.
Uh, he's not dying,
if that's what you mean.
Hey, I'm feelin' a little better.
Oh, hold on a moment, please.
Oh, I don't know, you look so--
I mean, I really think
you should see someone.
Oh, no, I really am feelin' better.
Just tell 'em
I'll call him tomorrow.
- Are you sure?
- Mm-hm.
Hello?
No, no, don't bother,
we'll call him in the morning.
Thank you.
Mm, I'm feeling much better.
Do you know what would
make me feel better still?
- Brent.
- What?
Look what you did, you bit me.
I'm bleeding.
Ohh--.
I see things.
What things?
Just, leave me alone.
Leave me alone!
He gnashes upon me with his eye.
Mine enemy sharpened
his eyes upon me.
They have gaped upon me
with his mouth.
They have gathered themselves
together against me.
God hath delivered me
to the ungodly
and turned me over
into the hands of the wicked.
He hath also
taken me by my neck
and shaken me to pieces
and set me up for his mark.
His archers compass me
roundabout.
He cleaveth my reins asunder
and doth not spare.
He poureth out my gall
upon the ground.
He breaketh me
with breach upon breach.
He runneth upon me
like a giant.
I have sewed sackcloth
upon my skin
and defiled my horn
in the dust.
My face is foul
with weeping
and on my eyelids
is the shadow of death.
Therefore rejoice...
The sky were darkened
by the smoke from the abyss.
I told you to leave me alone!
Why can't you do
what I ask you to do?
Please, Brent,
go see the doctor.
Yes, will he help?
Will he help me?
Will the doctor help me?
I'll drive you.
No, the keys.
Where are the keys?
Downstairs on the table.
What have you done to me?
Oh, uh, Brent, aren't I supposed
to see you this afternoon?
What have you done to me?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
What's happenin' to me?
Are you outta your mind?
Calm down.
This eye, this eye!
Where in the hell
did this eye come from?
Wh-- wh-- wh--
what does it matter?
Tell me!
Well, it, uh, from a man--
a man who died.
How did he die?
He-- he was executed.
He died in the gas chamber.
Well, who was he?
Tell me!
Uh, Randall-- John Randall.
Here we are--
John Randall.
Just move this
and it scans the entire text.
Let me know
if you need anymore help.
Apparently,
Randall had attempted
to get rid of the bodies
in his kitchen garbage disposal.
Ultimately, the dismembered remains
of seven young women
were discovered
in shallow graves.
All the victims had died
as a result of stab wounds
administered by a pair
of garden shears.
Each of the women
had been sexually molested
after death.
Subsequent investigation
into Randall's past
uncovered a childhood
marked by physical abuse
at the hands of an...
alcoholic mother.
Police were struck
by the fact that
Randall's mother, like all the victims,
had blonde hair.
In conversations with police,
Randall referred to himself as...
the Devil.
Brent?
Brent?
I'm out here.
What did the doctor say?
Oh, nothin' to worry about.
Could you please stop diggin'.
I need to talk to you.
I can't.
I have to finish
diggin' your grave.
Whore!
What are you doing?
No, get off me!
Get off me!
This is the John Randall, dear.
He chose them by their hair!
John Randall.
John Randall.
John Randall, John Randall,
John Randall, John Randall!
Randall, Randall,
John Randall.
He cut 'em up, you see?
John woulda liked you.
I have his eye, you know.
I see what John Randall saw.
And it's so damn satisfying.
Brent, the bible,
look at the bible.
He makes 'em soft.
They're hair is soft, but it-
They're whores!
So, we have to make 'em soft.
And then we can have 'em.
But then they get cold and, uh--
Oh, John, he doesn't like that.
Grind 'em up.
That's what we do.
But they're too big.
Big and ugly.
And so we dig.
Put 'em in the ground
and make 'em quiet.
Oh, John, he knew
what was good.
Brent, the bible,
look at the bible.
What is in the bible?
- John Randall's in the bible.
- John Randall's not in the bible!
That Brent, Brent's in the bible!
That's right, Brent's in the bible.
No, I-- I-- I mean that--
That's right, you said
Brent's in the bible.
No, that's not what I mean.
Yes, look, it says it
in the bible.
From Cathy to Brent,
our faith in thee.
Shut up!
Whore!
No.
To Brent from Cathy,
may we always
walk together with God.
I got my eye on you baby
Oh yeah.
Oh, sorry, I couldn't resist.
So, what do you think?
Myself, I love stories
about our national pastime--
violent death.
Ooh.
What I don't understand is,
why was he so upset
about losing his eye?
You could have become
an umpire.
Uh-oh, better get movin'.
Oh!
Oohoo,
it's freezin' in here.
Mighty-night.
Oh, man it looks like we got
our work cut out for us tonight.
Man, you ain't lyin'.
Might as well get started.
Another John Doe, huh?
Ooh, severe, uh, trauma
to the abdomen, I'd say.
Really, what's your first clue?
Here, give me that saw.
Ooh, hey, I'm gonna get
some coffee, man.
- Hey, get me some too, buddy.
- You bet.
You know,
these guys crack me up.
You gotta love 'em.
Oop, gotta run.
That's not good.
Well, look at your liver, buddy.
What the hell you been drinkin',
formaldehyde?
How's it coming?
Give me the head saw.
I was just taking a little break.
It's been a busy night.
Lots of new arrivals.
I call them the arriving departed.
Ahh!
Well, back to work.
Eh, what the hell.
One more for the road.
Just a dash.
Adds a little spine.
Long life.
Ohh, better!
Ahh, the doctor will see you now.
Hmm.
Uhh, ugly!
Man, are you ugly.
Well, we all know it isn't
what a person looks like.
It's what's inside that counts.
Mmm.
Ehh, death by natural causes.
Natural causes, natural causes.
More natural causes.
I hate natural causes!
Give me a big old stab wound
to poke around in, then I'm happy.
Ahh, here we are.
Body bags.
See, if it's murder or suicide
or a nasty accident,
they put 'em in these bags.
This one was found
on a stretch of lonely highway,
miles from the nearest town
on a pitch-black night.
Also in the news, another gruesome
murder in Haddonfield today.
The body of a young woman
was discovered buried
in the bottom of a trash bin
behind a shopping mall.
Police Chief, Ardith Robinson
of the Haddonfield PD
gave a statement
to reporters this afternoon
after the discovery of"...
Police believe the woman to be
another victim of a serial killer
responsible for a series
of ritualized slayings
in the southland.
The body of the woman
was found by hikers--
I'd be scared shitless working
all alone in a place like this.
Eh, I can take care of myself.
Besides, you're the one who has
to drive back to an empty apartment.
- Ooooh.
- Thanks a lot.
You don't mind
picking me up in the morning?
- What time?
- Seven.
Ooh.
This'll be the last time
I ask you for a ride, I promise.
They said my car will be
out of the shop by tomorrow.
I'll buy breakfast.
Deal.
See ya.
Can I help ya?
I'm Anne.
Okay.
The new girl.
Oh, yeah, right,
come on in.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Sorry I'm late.
- No biggie.
Oh, wow, this is almost identical
to the gas station I worked last month,
except that was a little bit smaller.
Well, why don't I give you
the, uh, the grand tour.
Uh, that's the cash register.
You just punch in the pump number
and amount, right?
Yeah, you got it.
That's the credit card machine.
No sweat.
And listen, when you get
their, uh, signatures,
make sure you get the license
plate number, all right?
- Right.
- It's important.
Um, the TV gets
maybe three channels.
Actually, I'll probably just
do some studying.
Um, the cigarette prices
are posted outside.
- Saw it.
- Okay, good.
Is that the bathroom?
Well, actually, we, uh, prefer
to call that the employee's lounge.
Yeah, great.
Let's see-- oh, oh,
do I ring out the register
when the morning shift
comes in?
Nah, just, you know,
uh, he'll take care of that.
Why don't you just collect
the cash and make change.
- Okay.
- Yep-- oh, you know what?
This door locks automatically
if you leave the booth.
- So, uh--
- Keys?
Right, keys, yeah, um--
God, I don't know
where the hell I left them.
Yeah, here they are.
The round one,
um, that's for the booth
and the square one
works everything else, okay?
Got it.
- Public restrooms.
- Yeah.
Um... yeah, I guess
that's about it.
You know, I feel a little bit guilty.
Leaving you out here
all by yourself.
- Eh, I'll be okay.
- Did you hear the news tonight?
- Yeah, it's horrible.
- Yeah.
- Hmm.
- Hey, you know what?
If you got a problem,
why don't you,
um, just give me a call, okay?
Hey, thank you.
- Sure, no problem.
- Will do.
Okay.
Uh, that's it, then.
I'm outta here.
Have a good night.
- See ya later.
- You got it.
Pack of Coronados.
Two seventy-five.
Ls there anything else?
Uh, what you readin'?
It's for school.
A college girl, huh?
Yeah, well, I never got to go
to college myself, you know?
Yeah, I got some bourbon
out in the car.
Maybe I can get you
to come out of that booth.
Maybe I'll see ya around.
Okay.
Okay.
Hi, I need to fill her up.
Super unleaded.
- Number 12?
- Uh, yeah.
Haven't seen you
around here before.
It's my first night-- huh.
Uh, signature
and license, please.
Are you from Haddonfield?
Born and raised.
Thanks.
What are you studying?
Um, psychology.
Final exams next week.
Gotta pull my average up.
- You go to the university?
- Uh-huh.
Well, do you ever feel like,
uh, kicking back?
You know, just hanging out
someplace after class?
- Sometimes.
- Well, you gotta try the Oak Lounge.
It's, uh, down Seventh Street
by the freeway.
They got a really good band there
on weekends.
Hey, maybe if I run into you some time,
I'll play you a game of pool.
I'm no good at pool.
All the better.
Well, see ya.
Bye.
Ooh.
Hey, you forgot your card!
Hey!
Shit.
Ooh!
Great.
Hey.
I need the key to the restroom.
I really have to go
to the restroom.
Oh, uh... the key's in the booth.
I have to get the other set.
Uh, I'll be right back.
Shit.
Ugh, thank God!
Great.
Oh, you pump,
I gotta go to the john.
I'm gonna take care of this.
Whoo-hoo, honey,
hiya, sweetheart!
Listen, give me,
uh, oh, $20.
Of that
superduper irregular
on, uh, pump number
niner there, okay?
You're a little glum tonight, hon,
what's wrong?
You oughtta be out partyin'.
Pretty little thing
like you, huh?
Say, uh, I need a key to get
in that little boy's room there?
Uh, you do.
Listen, could you do me a favor?
Sure, name it.
There's a man,
he's in the men's restroom.
- He's a little weird.
- Weirdo, huh?
Yeah, I don't know--
I was wondering,
could you take a look
and see what he's doing?
You got that.
Yoo-hoo!
There's nothing coming out.
What's the problem?
Oh, oh, there's nothing
coming out.
- You have to lift the lever.
- Oh.
No. The lever--
the lever on the pump.
Never mind, I'll do it.
So sorry to bother you.
I just usually go
to the full serve.
Oh.
Oh, thanks.
Guy is sleepin' in there.
He's all curled up
around the toilet.
I had to stand back
and aim over his head.
Shame on you.
When you gotta go,
you gotta go.
I wouldn't worry about it, hon.
He's fast asleep.
The guy's a bum.
Let him sleep it off.
Did you get the restroom key?
Oh, I left it hangin'
in the door.
Come on, baby, let's go,
I'm cold.
See ya around, doll face.
Get in there, get in there,
arrrh!
God.
Shit!
I can do this.
Come on, come on...
Hi.
This is Bill.
I can't come
to the phone right now.
So, maybe you could
just leave a message.
See, I got a sore throat.
Be better if you could
call back.
If you wanna leave a message,
just wait for the beep.
Beep.
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on!
Answer the phone!
- 9-1-1--
- Oh, there's a man!
He's after me!
He's after me!
Bitch.
Oh!
Die, you son of a bitch!
Forgot my credit card.
Tell me, how long have you had
these feelings of hostility?
You can't say?
You know, you really shouldn't keep
your emotions all bottled up inside.
Eh, you're hopeless!
He should have had a lobotomy.
Let's go see what other fun things
we can find to do.
Cirrhosis of the liver.
Brain tumor.
Severe head cold?
Let's check the drawers.
I call these
my necrophile cabinets.
Seems to be stuck.
Obviously,
these drawers were built
before breast implants
became so popular.
These oughtta be recycled.
That's odd.
Ooh.
Marital spat?
Kiss and make up.
Ahh.
Believe it or not,
this was a human body.
Poor guy fell off a high-rise
onto the top of a car,
which swerved in front
of a train
and was dragged 900 yards
under the engine.
Fascinating what can happen
to the human body
under the right circumstances.
Tonight will be mostly clear
but some low clouds late tonight
through midmorning tomorrow.
Light winds,
lows in the upper 50s.
High tomorrow
in the mid 70s.
And now this--
At the Roswell Hair Growth
Laboratories,
we have perfected
a simple surgical procedure
to restore full hair growth
virtually overnight.
After my Roswell Hair
growth treatment,
I bought the company.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Come on in.
More wine?
Mm, I'd love some.
- Richard?
- Hm?
What did you do to your hair?
Nothing.
Well, I mean,
I combed it a different way.
Sweetheart, are you worried
about your hair thinning?
No, of course not.
I think you look
very distinguished.
You're very handsome.
You don't like it, do you?
I like you.
Eat.
This veal is delicious, you know.
So, you think I'm going bald?
No, I don't.
What's the big deal,
if you are anyway?
Oh, so, now I am going bald?
It really doesn't matter to me.
Are you telling me
that you don't like hair?
Of course, I like hair.
Then how can you stand
looking at me?
I mean, look at this.
Look at that, huh?
Richard,
you're behaving like a baby.
Well, why not?
I got hair like a baby.
Why don't you let me make
an appointment
for you with my hairdresser?
Dennis'll give your hair
a nice shape.
I don't need shape.
I need quantity.
I need volume.
I need more hair.
Now, what about this?
- Huh?
- Forget it!
- No way, no way!
- Wait, wait, wait, hey, hey!
Come on,
just give it a chance.
Take a look at it!
- You mean--
- That looks ridiculous.
- It won't fool anybody.
- Would you be careful with that?
Oh, for God's sake, Richard.
Okay.
- Well, you see,
- Yeah.
I don't think you'd ever know
it was a hairpiece.
If you just take a little-- no.
- No-oh-oh.
- What about there?
- No?
- Wouldn't do it there.
- Hey!
- God, no.
Hey, wait a minute.
- It's gotta go.
- What are you--
Come on, man, I need that,
I need that back.
Richard, you're in denial.
It makes you look like
the world's biggest jerk off.
It makes me look like
I've got more hair.
Sit down, Rich--
I need that back.
Fine.
Let me just tell you
how things are, okay, Richard?
You're headin' for egg city.
Located in the chrome dome county
in the state of the cue ball.
Do you understand what
I'm talking about?
In a year, your head will look
like a Christmas tree lot in January.
I understand that.
That's why I need your help.
Have you got some kind
of a thickening agent?
Something I can put in there
and give me a little bit more,
you know, volume, huh?
I can help you, Richard.
How?
Only if you let me.
- Of course.
- Okay.
Now, what I can do--
I can cut your hair.
I can give it shape.
- I can give it style, Richard.
- Come on.
Now, I can empower you, Richard.
- Give you back your manhood.
- I can't let you cut my hair.
- It's your birthright.
- What are you going to cut?
Please, let me just
style it a little bit.
What I do is, see--
I start from--
We start from here.
No cutting, no cutting.
Fine, just styling.
Just as plants
respond to soothing music,
your follicles will love
Harmonies for Hair.
Grow, baby, grow.
Hi!
I really like your hair like that,
it looks nice.
How about a drink?
Did Dennis do that?
Do what?
Paint your head.
Who painted your head?
Doesn't work?
Dennis didn't do that, did he?
Tell me he didn't do that.
No, I did it.
You don't like it, do you?
Poor baby.
All this is really gettin'
to you, isn't it?
Oh, it's driving me crazy, Megan.
I can't eat, I can't sleep.
The only thing
I can think about is my hair.
I'm losing my hair.
Oh, darling.
It wouldn't be so--
What?
You-- you've got stuff
all over your face.
Oh!
Look at all this crap.
I disgust you, don't I?
What disgusts me, Richard,
is your inability
to accept yourself
as you are.
I just don't want
to be a bald guy.
You're not a bald guy.
You-- you're just--
you're just a thinning hair guy.
It means the same thing.
It doesn't mean
the same thing, okay?
What it--
I just can't deal with you
when you're like this, okay?
- Megan.
- Bye.
Megan.
Megan, please.
I think we need to spend some time
away from each other.
Oh, sure, just walk out
on the bald guy.
Do yourself a favor, Richard,
wash your head.
Miracle Shine, the miracle shampoo.
Miracle Shine will add
new fullness of life to your hair.
That youthful luster is what
all other shampoo products
have claimed to achieve,
but never really delivered.
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Call now for an immediate
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Remember, after my Roswell
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I bought the company.
5-5-5-9-9-1-1.
Yes.
Mr. Richard
Coberts is here for his appointment.
Show him in, please.
- Nice to meet you, Richard.
- Doctor.
Mr. Coberts' before picture.
Have a seat, please.
I take it my nurses
fully explained our procedure.
Uh, yes, I saw your commercial
on television.
How does it work?
We revive dead hair follicles
by applying
a protein-based solution
to the hair roots
beneath the scalp.
What's in the protein solution?
That's patented.
I love it when he talks that way.
Don't you think he'll look just
too sexy with a full head of hair?
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Richard might not be right
for our treatment.
Tell me, why do you want hair?
Uh, I think I'll feel better
about myself.
There are certain advantages
to being bald, Richard.
For instance,
Bald men are often considered to be
more trustworthy, less threatening.
The primal power that a full head
of hair bestows on a man
brings a certain pressure
to perform.
Some men realize that
they prefer to remain
out of the limelight.
Well, that may be so, Doctor,
but I want hair.
I want lots of hair.
You don't think
I'm up to it, do you?
- Are you?
- I think so.
I think so too.
It'll change your life, Richard.
I want it to change.
- You sure?
- I'm positive.
I love a positive man.
Very well.
Nurse, activate the compuscan.
I'll just insert your picture
into the graphic scanner.
And... voila.
Now, we, uh, have
quite a few hair personalities
for you to choose from,
uh, depending on which trait
you wish to emphasize.
This is your basic
conservative look.
We call it Traditional Republican.
- I don't know, eh...
- I agree.
No?
Well, uh, go a little bit more daring.
The Military Style, favored
by police, soldiers, athletes.
- I don't know, it's almost too, uh--
- Drab.
Exactly.
You see, I want something
that is very, um,
- exciting.
- Yes.
- Bold.
- Yes.
- Sexy.
- Yes, yes.
Let's try this.
We call this our Stallion Look.
Giddyup.
Yes, that's it, that's the one.
The Stallion Look it is.
Congratulations, Richard.
Uh, no surgery.
No, no, no,
heavens no, no.
We apply the solution here
then when you wake up
tomorrow morning in your own bed,
you take off the bandage
and you're a new man.
Oh, Lord, oh, Lord,
please let me have hair.
If I have hair,
I have everything.
I just want to love me again.
I don't love me
the way I am now.
I love me the way
I used to be.
The way I want to be.
Please, God,
just let me have--
Hair.
Oh, my... oh, my God.
I have-- I-- it's hair.
I have hair!
It worked.
Oh, God, look at tha--
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
It's the old me.
It's the new me.
It's the me
I've always wanted to be.
No, no, no.
I can't let you touch it.
If I let you touch it, I'll have to let
everybody else touch it.
Yes, yes, it is the source
of all my strength.
But it's not the only source.
See that my men are well fed.
And bring forth the women.
It's incredible!
Who is this Dr. Lock?
He advertises on TV.
Why doesn't everybody
go to him?
He's new.
It's amazing.
I can't believe
what it's done for you.
Ohh, mm-mm.
You even kiss better.
I know I said it didn't matter,
but you look so fantastic
with this new hair.
You're just so-- You're so--
You're so animal.
Tell me you love me, Richard.
Just me.
- Mm-mm.
- Morning, lover.
Morning.
Oh.
Oh.
Feel like I'm getting
a sore throat.
Maybe you overdid it
last night, huh?
Oh, I got this tickle
in my throat.
Well, I'd love to stay
and scratch it, but I gotta go.
See you later, sexy?
Take care of that sore throat,
you hear?
You gotta save all
your strength for me.
- I don't believe it.
- I don't either.
You know, this is--
it's amazing.
I know.
And it's not a weave.
No, no, it's all mine, baby.
Oh, man, it seems
so good and healthy.
You know what I mean?
Oh, man, all right, okay.
- Who is this Dr. Lock, huh?
- He's new.
- You look... great.
- I know.
You look great.
Now, I'm just going
to cut it a little bit, okay?
Just give it a little bit of shape.
You all right there, buddy?
Not too much, not too much.
No, no, no, just styled.
Just style.
Hello.
Lousy.
I don't know,
I just don't feel too good.
Huh?
Um, gettin' a haircut.
Yeah, well, after you left
this morning,
I discovered that my hair's grown
nearly six inches.
No, I'm not kidding.
I know, it's weird.
Listen, I'm glad you called.
Um, I'm gonna have
to cancel our date tonight.
I really think I'm coming down
with something.
No, I am not seeing
somebody else.
Come on, Megan,
what's the matter with you?
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
That's all right.
Yep, thanks.
Bye-bye.
Ahh, ah.
Ahh, ahhh.
Oh, no, oh.
Hello.
Not so good.
What time is it?
What?
No, nobody else is here.
Why don't you believe me.
I told you I'm sick.
It's not an act.
What?
Oh, fine, suit yourself,
don't believe me then!
- Happy, darling?
- Yes, of course.
Ah, Richard, how are you?
Guess.
You look great.
Another successful operation.
What are you talking about?
Look what's happening to me.
I know, isn't it wonderful.
Let me show you something.
You earthlings and your vanity.
You're so predictably easy.
You know, at first,
it was difficult.
When we arrived on this planet,
we were tiny, starving organisms.
And then we discovered
that your brains
are the only food
on which we can thrive.
The questions was one of access.
We seem to have found
the answer.
In fact, we're particularly
enjoying your brain.
We like fat.
Nurse, transfer Richard
into implant containers.
Then call in the next patient.
Ooh.
It seems to me, maybe I'm going
a little thin on top myself.
Ooh!
I think we have time
for one more body.
Does anyone
have anything to share?
No volunteers?
What a bunch of stiffs!
I want you guys to think about this
while I go have a drink.
Ehh!
Ooh, I forgot about this.
This is weird.
This may make you
a little tense.
It made someone a little past tense.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Here's looking at you, kid.
Bice is hoping Matthews
can get something going here.
Here's the pitch.
Good hit. Go.
Get over that fence.
Yeah!
What's going on, Matthews?
All of a sudden you're knockin'
the hell outta that ball.
Yeah, I don't know,
I'm seein' it real good.
I don't want to make you nervous,
but the Giants got their eye on you.
Yeah, I heard that one before.
Hey, they could use
a good pinch hitter this year.
Still gonna talk to us peons
when you hit the majors?
Yeah, right.
I'm not about to start counting
my chickens.
I've been too close
too many times.
Somethin' always happens.
I got a feeling
this is your year.
Let's say we knock back
a few brews and celebrate.
I don't think so, bud. I got someone
prettier to celebrate with.
You better watch it.
It ain't natural to love
your wife so much.
Hello.
Hey, darlin'.
How'd you do?
Three for four and a homerun
to win it in the ninth.
Oh, that's great.
I've got some good news too.
- What?
- Surprise.
- Tell me.
- Unh-uh.
You gotta come home
to find out.
I'll be there in a flash.
Love ya.
I love you too.
Bye.
Jesus Christ!
Ah!
Brent?
You're gonna be okay.
Honey, Dr. Bregman is here
and he needs to talk to you.
Are you feeling up to it?
Good morning, Brent.
Now, let me guess, Doc.
Heh, I got a concussion and--
Yeah, your putting me
on the three-day disabled list.
Brent, I'm sorry to tell you this,
but it's much worse than that.
I'm afraid you've lost
your right eye.
But I'm a baseball player.
It's the eye I use...
to see the God damn ball.
Oh, Honey.
No!
Dr. Watkins, Dr. Watkins.
Brent.
This is Dr. Lang.
He'd like to speak with you.
What about?
I think maybe I can help you.
I've spent the last ten years
of my life developing a method
to transplant an entire eye.
Now, it's never been done
or even tried.
But I do think it could work.
Unfortunately, I'm pretty much alone
in that opinion.
Let's say I'm skeptical.
I could play again?
Yeah, if it works.
Well, what if it doesn't?
Well, if the eye dies,
we'll just have to remove it
and you and I are back
to square one.
When can we do it?
Well, I'd prefer
to do it right away.
I-- I just received
a healthy donor eye.
Oh, I-- I know that sounds
a bit gruesome.
But, uh, it's an excellent match
for your size.
It is a brown eye, but we can use
a contact lens to match your color.
Talk it over with your wife
and we'll chat tomorrow.
The eye from a dead person?
I guess it would have to be.
- Uh-huh, yeah.
- Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
I know, it's weird, isn't it?
Oh boy, you think
about God's will.
- Is this God's will?
- Well, isn't it?
I don't know.
Well, he gave us the ability
to think and make discoveries.
You know what I mean.
You know, science and everything.
If it's for the good.
Well, what's not good about me
being able to have a career
and a family?
- Darling?
- What?
Nothing.
Brent, you're right.
- Of course, we should try it.
- Sure.
And if it doesn't work, babe,
it just-- it doesn't work.
And Saul arose from the Earth.
And when his eyes were opened
he saw no man.
They brought him into Damascus
where there was a certain disciple
named Ananias.
And to him
said the Lord in a vision,
"Ananias, arise and inquire
in the house of Judas
for one cold soul."
For I will show him
how many things he must suffer
for my name's sake.
And Ananias went his way
and entered into the house.
And laying his hands
on him said,
"Brother Saul,
the Lord Jesus,
who appeared to you
on the road as you came,
has sent me
that you may receive your sight
and be filled with the Holy Spirit."
Immediately, there fell from his eyes
something like scales.
And he received his sight
at once.
And he arose and was baptized.
Mrs. Matthews?
Mrs. Matthews?
Yes.
The operation
went smooth as silk.
Brent's in recovery
and should awaken at any moment.
I'm putting a patch
over the left eye.
Now, are we ready?
Ready.
Well, if everything
works out all right,
your vision should only be blurry
for a few days.
All right, now.
Here we go.
I like your hair
tied back that way.
Congratulations.
Here's the pitch.
Strike one,
slider down and inside.
Hi, I made them let me off work
an hour early.
What's wrong, sweetie,
another headache?
Yeah.
The doctor said the headaches
will go away soon.
And tomorrow you get your blue lens
and it's home sweet home.
You don't have to turn it off.
Yeah, it's just--
I can't watch it.
It should be me up there.
It will be, baby, it will be.
What is it?
Uh, nothin'.
Everything's gonna be okay.
I promise.
The headaches should diminish
little by little.
Now, it's important that you do
the eye exercises I gave you.
Now, let's, uh-- let's try this
to see how this lens fits.
- Honey, it looks great.
- Yeah?
Yeah.
Well, Brent, I'm gonna send
you home tomorrow.
Now, remember--
It's going to take
at least six weeks
for this surgery
to heal completely.
Ls there anything
he shouldn't do?
Oh, light exercise, fine.
But nothing strenuous.
And I want to see you
in a few days, okay?
Thanks, Doc.
Oh, man.
It's great to be home.
Since you're in such a good mood,
I think we should celebrate.
- Yeah.
- I'll give you my surprise, hm?
Surprise?
- What are you up to?
- You'll see.
- Ready?
- I guess.
Ta-da.
Oh.
What's this?
It's a present, dummy.
For me?
To Dad from Mom.
You're gonna have a baby?
We're gonna have a baby.
Aren't you happy?
Oh, yeah.
You don't look very happy.
I am.
I am.
Darlin', I think it's fantastic.
Brent, you're worried
about the future, aren't you?
I don't know.
Maybe a little.
You know, whatever happens,
it'll be okay.
Sure.
Aren't you gonna open it?
What am I doin'?
Okay, let's see.
A crib?
I thought this was
a present for me.
It is.
You get to put it together.
I get it, I get it.
- Did you put your drops in?
- Yeah.
Is the blur almost gone?
Oh, it's pretty clear.
Does your head still hurt?
Oh, it's just once in a while.
I suppose I'm gonna have
to get used to this new part of you.
Hey, I'm not the only one
with new parts around here.
Ain't it somethin'?
Five weeks old.
Just think, eight months
from now it'll be opening day.
Wouldn't it be great.
I'd tear up the league
in Spring training.
The majors pick me up.
The baby's born on opening day
and I celebrate
by comin' off the bench in the ninth
and swattin' one over the fence.
Wouldn't that be great?
It'd be great.
You look so pretty.
Oh, are we not supposed
to have sex?
Oh, no, we can have sex.
I just think
we should wait a little.
Until you heal better.
The doctor didn't say
anything about that.
Well, maybe tomorrow,
sweetie, okay?
It's just-- I'm not feeling, well--
you know.
I love you, Brent,
I'm just not in a sexy mood.
Would it help
if I put my lens in?
Is that what's bothering you?
Maybe that's not a bad idea.
I'm sure I'll get used
to you without it,
but at the moment it's...
I don't know.
It's a little strange.
No big deal.
The kid aims to please.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no.
- You okay?
- Mm-hm.
- I'm really sorry.
- Mmm.
Come, let's go to bed.
Oh, honey, the shutters.
Oh, jeez.
What's wrong?
Brent, what is it?
- A headache.
- Oh, come on, baby.
- Oh!
- Lie down.
Okay?
Gently, gently.
Easy.
- Ohh.
- Is that better?
Yeah, I think so.
I think it's goin' away.
A little too much excitement
on the first night, huh?
Yeah, you may be right.
Oh, that feels good.
Let's just go to sleep, hmm?
- Yeah, oh, just keep doin' that.
- Okay.
Honey, breakfast.
- Did you do your eye exercises?
- Mm-hm.
Listen, I have to get to work.
Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
If you feel like it, why don't you take
a crack at putting the crib together?
Because I got the back yard
to work on! Okay?
You don't have to yell.
Did I?
I'm sorry.
Our baby will hear you.
There's my ride.
Bye.
- Mm.
- See ya.
No!
Make a joyful noise
unto the Lord, all ye lands.
Know ye that
the Lord he is God.
Brent?
Brent?
Hey, darlin'.
Come on up.
Got something to show ya.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Mm.
You're in a good mood.
- Well, feelin' better, come on.
- Good.
Oh.
My handyman.
Yeah, it's pretty nifty, huh?
What about the sides?
I was about to do that.
There.
There.
Jesus Christ!
You took your diapers
off again.
Look at this mess.
You make everything so hard
for me, you--
What is it, what's wrong?
Oh, oh, Brent,
honey, what's the matter?
Oh, my God!
Well, can't he be reached
at home?
I don't care where he is,
I just need to talk to him.
No, no, no, it's my husband.
Well, I don't know,
it's an emergency.
Uh, he's not dying,
if that's what you mean.
Hey, I'm feelin' a little better.
Oh, hold on a moment, please.
Oh, I don't know, you look so--
I mean, I really think
you should see someone.
Oh, no, I really am feelin' better.
Just tell 'em
I'll call him tomorrow.
- Are you sure?
- Mm-hm.
Hello?
No, no, don't bother,
we'll call him in the morning.
Thank you.
Mm, I'm feeling much better.
Do you know what would
make me feel better still?
- Brent.
- What?
Look what you did, you bit me.
I'm bleeding.
Ohh--.
I see things.
What things?
Just, leave me alone.
Leave me alone!
He gnashes upon me with his eye.
Mine enemy sharpened
his eyes upon me.
They have gaped upon me
with his mouth.
They have gathered themselves
together against me.
God hath delivered me
to the ungodly
and turned me over
into the hands of the wicked.
He hath also
taken me by my neck
and shaken me to pieces
and set me up for his mark.
His archers compass me
roundabout.
He cleaveth my reins asunder
and doth not spare.
He poureth out my gall
upon the ground.
He breaketh me
with breach upon breach.
He runneth upon me
like a giant.
I have sewed sackcloth
upon my skin
and defiled my horn
in the dust.
My face is foul
with weeping
and on my eyelids
is the shadow of death.
Therefore rejoice...
The sky were darkened
by the smoke from the abyss.
I told you to leave me alone!
Why can't you do
what I ask you to do?
Please, Brent,
go see the doctor.
Yes, will he help?
Will he help me?
Will the doctor help me?
I'll drive you.
No, the keys.
Where are the keys?
Downstairs on the table.
What have you done to me?
Oh, uh, Brent, aren't I supposed
to see you this afternoon?
What have you done to me?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
What's happenin' to me?
Are you outta your mind?
Calm down.
This eye, this eye!
Where in the hell
did this eye come from?
Wh-- wh-- wh--
what does it matter?
Tell me!
Well, it, uh, from a man--
a man who died.
How did he die?
He-- he was executed.
He died in the gas chamber.
Well, who was he?
Tell me!
Uh, Randall-- John Randall.
Here we are--
John Randall.
Just move this
and it scans the entire text.
Let me know
if you need anymore help.
Apparently,
Randall had attempted
to get rid of the bodies
in his kitchen garbage disposal.
Ultimately, the dismembered remains
of seven young women
were discovered
in shallow graves.
All the victims had died
as a result of stab wounds
administered by a pair
of garden shears.
Each of the women
had been sexually molested
after death.
Subsequent investigation
into Randall's past
uncovered a childhood
marked by physical abuse
at the hands of an...
alcoholic mother.
Police were struck
by the fact that
Randall's mother, like all the victims,
had blonde hair.
In conversations with police,
Randall referred to himself as...
the Devil.
Brent?
Brent?
I'm out here.
What did the doctor say?
Oh, nothin' to worry about.
Could you please stop diggin'.
I need to talk to you.
I can't.
I have to finish
diggin' your grave.
Whore!
What are you doing?
No, get off me!
Get off me!
This is the John Randall, dear.
He chose them by their hair!
John Randall.
John Randall.
John Randall, John Randall,
John Randall, John Randall!
Randall, Randall,
John Randall.
He cut 'em up, you see?
John woulda liked you.
I have his eye, you know.
I see what John Randall saw.
And it's so damn satisfying.
Brent, the bible,
look at the bible.
He makes 'em soft.
They're hair is soft, but it-
They're whores!
So, we have to make 'em soft.
And then we can have 'em.
But then they get cold and, uh--
Oh, John, he doesn't like that.
Grind 'em up.
That's what we do.
But they're too big.
Big and ugly.
And so we dig.
Put 'em in the ground
and make 'em quiet.
Oh, John, he knew
what was good.
Brent, the bible,
look at the bible.
What is in the bible?
- John Randall's in the bible.
- John Randall's not in the bible!
That Brent, Brent's in the bible!
That's right, Brent's in the bible.
No, I-- I-- I mean that--
That's right, you said
Brent's in the bible.
No, that's not what I mean.
Yes, look, it says it
in the bible.
From Cathy to Brent,
our faith in thee.
Shut up!
Whore!
No.
To Brent from Cathy,
may we always
walk together with God.
I got my eye on you baby
Oh yeah.
Oh, sorry, I couldn't resist.
So, what do you think?
Myself, I love stories
about our national pastime--
violent death.
Ooh.
What I don't understand is,
why was he so upset
about losing his eye?
You could have become
an umpire.
Uh-oh, better get movin'.
Oh!
Oohoo,
it's freezin' in here.
Mighty-night.
Oh, man it looks like we got
our work cut out for us tonight.
Man, you ain't lyin'.
Might as well get started.
Another John Doe, huh?
Ooh, severe, uh, trauma
to the abdomen, I'd say.
Really, what's your first clue?
Here, give me that saw.
Ooh, hey, I'm gonna get
some coffee, man.
- Hey, get me some too, buddy.
- You bet.
You know,
these guys crack me up.
You gotta love 'em.
Oop, gotta run.
That's not good.
Well, look at your liver, buddy.
What the hell you been drinkin',
formaldehyde?
How's it coming?
Give me the head saw.