Bodyguard 2, The (2007) Movie Script
by Psyklax
Hey!
Now you know that this world
really has heaven!
You could say that again!
Listen, repeat after me
Suffo
Suffo!
Cate
Cate!
Right, so get out!
I'm suffocating! We don't
have to go up together!
Bunch of idiots!
When will you ever get smart?
This way, please, on the left
But don't go behind there!
That's the washroom!
Hi there
- Would you like a drink?
- No, thanks
Hi, Boss Wang!
Long time no see
How've you been? Take a seat
Sit! Sit!
Right now, I'm telling you,
I'm not drunk
Hey, how'd you hurt your head?
I think
that kids are really nasty
these days, huh?
Him, you see him?
- Who?
- That guy who's smiling
Got that?
Here's a gun
Take it! Quick!
First, let me see the goods
- Number 3!
- Yes?
Let Boss Wang see the goods
I think I trust
Boss Wang's reputation
I wasn't likely to sell
But now it looks
really straightforward
I've had many people buy
from me before
I've not sold to them all, though
There's no picture
Number 3, why didn't you turn it
on so Boss Wang could see?
Didn't you know that Boss
Wang can't use this thing?
Come on, kid!
You're embarrassing Boss Wang!
Here, let me help
What do you think?
Looks good, yeah?
I'll go with you!
You know how to use the gun?
Are you kidding? Me and
my dad
used to go hunting
all the time
That's good
Look over there
See that guy?
I'll take him out and go inside
Remember that, okay?
Then, when I nod my head,
you open fire, okay?
Hey, get the money
I don't have it
Well, get it from whoever,
right now!
You're as stupid as a pig!
Do you turn this to the left?
Uh, no
You sure you know how to use this?
Are you kidding? You think I can't?
Put the bullet in the top
Aim it, then pull the trigger
Why put the bullet in first?
Once you've put it in,
it'll shoot out!
Take the safety off first,
though, okay?
The safety...?
You really have no clue, do you?
Are you kidding?
I hunted every day as a kid
Fine
Don't let anyone see you
Keep an eye on what's
going on inside
Kid, you ain't comin' in,
get outta here!
Nobody move!
Hey, what're the cops doing here?
I dunno!
I don't get it!
Maybe he's your friend!
You playing a prank on me?
Bullet in top, safety off...
I'm an honest businessman, see
If I was dishonest
I'd already be dead!
Oh crap, I'd better get up there!
Quick! Kill him!
Is that cop really your friend?
Idiot, what do you think?!
Look where you shoot first!
You're all over the place!
You bunch of idiots!
Quickly, quickly!
This way!
Bullet in top, safety off...
Why won't it work? Weird...
- Sin!
- Ah, it's you
What're you doing?
Sitting down
I know! Where'd they go?
They went that way
I've fired it twice...
(OR: I've used two guns...)
But I still can't work it properly!
"Don't be sad..."
Quickly, quickly!
Is that a bird? So small...
It's the Malaysian Import bird!
I've never seen that before.
Except with small kids
It's just arrived in Thailand!
From far away, eh?
It's lost its plumage
It must've hit something
If I hit it
it'll fly away
No, don't!
Boss, this way
Boss, go quick
To have served... for you...
I die... with no... regret...
"Go quick"
He was truly a good man
I should give you a medal
for your wisdom and bravery
This is the basement
You pressed the button, moron!
If I die, will you
give me a medal too?
I'll give you a fart instead!
You wanna sacrifice yourself
for me, right?
Didn't you hear the shooting?!
Come on!
You stay here
The rest, come with me
Kill him!
Jesus, you idiots!
How the hell did you miss?!
He got away!
Idiots!
Who are you shooting at?!!
Don't just fire at random!!
You've got a gun too?
I thought you didn't, but
I think you might do
Please, have my bike. Take it
That way! Quick, follow him!
I drive in a straight line,
you turn and hit my lamp!
You knew I wanted to turn,
why didn't you slow down?
You what?
Hey, do you know what the
biggest fish in the world is?
Catfish?
No, whale
What's the grey thing up above?
That's a motorcycle
Damn it, why's it taking so long?
Hey, what's that noise?
Ah, they're making a movie,
it was like this last week
Didn't you know?
They've closed the road off, too
See? They're filming them
shooting that motorcycle
Don't worry
The ambulance will be here soon
Go through them!
I'm not dead...
My day is not done...
You can't kill me!
I cannot die!
This game's getting
on my nerves
Buddha blesses me!
Come with me, I've got
a great car to show you
This way, sir
This car's only 300,000 baht
And may I say that sir
looks like a man of quality
From your clothing, I can
see you like quality
This car suits you best
We have a four-year payment plan
Plus big-name insurance
It also has a loud horn
A very loud one, see?
Scared you, didn't it?
What do you think,
are you interested?
Would you like a test drive?
If sir would like a test drive,
I'll just go and get the key
I'll be back in a moment
Okay, let me stop the car
Yeah... no problem...
Listen to me, baby...
I don't want you dead
You're always on my mind
Don't worry, I've just
been really busy
I had a bad dream last night
I dreamt I'd lost you
Never mind, don't worry
It was just a dream
Sir, I've got the key,
shall we go for a test drive?
I see you're really keen
on getting going, huh?
Don't worry, sir
I always said this car
suited you beeesst!!
Must you cross the
street like that?!
Do you want to die?
I've driven for 20 years
and never hit anyone
I've crossed this street for 60 years,
and I've never been hit by anyone
I like to go slowly
How about you?
Jesus, how come you've
got a gun?!
You never give up!
Are you a killer?
You can't hit me,
Buddha blesses me!
Hey, the car's on its side!
Do something!
Hey! I'm dying here!
Jesus, you're following me
too much, just like a dog!
Where's the gas?
Hey, could you get the gas on?
Be brave, we'll share
either life or death
I'm with the Thai Police
Anti-Terror Department
What do we do
about the car?
Get it repaired
Oh
Get up, get up
Don't turn round, or
I'll gouge your eyes out
You're tough to catch
Get up, let's go
Why'd you arrest me?
I've done nothing
You think I'm a big boss,
do I look like a bad guy?
Would a bad guy look this nice?
My family are very important, you know
My father is a big jewel dealer
My mother works in the national bank
My brother is in the Department
of Commercial Affairs
You're in big trouble!
You'll die for this!
I've told you before
Anything you do must
be within reason
What was your reason for this?
Were you thinking clearly?
Yeah, yeah
I'm at work.
I'll be back at about 6
Okay, see you later
The reputation of the police
is completely gone because of this
You did so many stupid things
Do you have any idea how much
the compensation will be?
Your family's pretty rich, huh?
Well, my family isn't!
You...
Hi, darling.
I miss you
No, I'll eat on the way
home after work
Okay, no problem,
back at 6, definitely
Oh, you want food too?
Yeah? I'll get some more
Great, no problem.
See you at 6
I don't know if your
head is screwed on
If that guy's brother files
a complaint against us
you and me are finished!
We'll be out of a job,
you understand?
Do you understand me?
I'll NOT be back at 6!
I haven't eaten yet!
Get out, just get out!
I said get out now!
My family background is marvelous
My whole family works
for the government
I must tell all of you
Especially you! You'll be
put in prison!
People like you deserve to die!
I must warn every one of you
Except myself, I really must
warn every single one of you
Every one of you will
be put in prison!
You've got to warn us, right?
Huh?!
My husband makes me angry
He suffocated me
Comes and goes when he likes
He already went away ages ago
He's still not come home
I don't know what he might
be doing while he's away
I thought he was off
doing his job
But he's been gone a month,
and still hasn't come back
At one time he was a salesman
I don't know what happened
with that job, either
How much money does
he make these days?
Keep the change
Keep what change? You gave
me exactly 200...
Weirdo...
This hairstyle is so now,
it's very pretty
Guess who?
It's an asshole!
Can't you see I'm working?
And where have you been?
All these clothes
haven't been washed
Get down to the laundry
to wash them
You need to get a job
Where do I wash?
Why are you asking me?
Do it yourself!
Come back, take that bag
Get on with it
You want me to do
it for you?
Just look at you, idiot
What did I ever see in him?
I must've been feeling funny
You saw my husband, right?
Such an idiot isn't he?
It's terrible to have a
husband like this
It's better to not
get married these days
I work these days, regardless
of what you do
You've got to learn
how to be patient
Don't be so impulsive
Sometimes you've got
to compromise
Understand?
Only then can you
keep a steady job
I mean, these days you don't know
what money is coming in
I need money for
a house, a car...
Hey, before you go to sleep,
let me remind you
You should remember when
important people speak to you
How long does it take you
to remember anything?
Wongkam
I want to go to Bangkok
to worship Buddha
Buddha seems pretty
effective over there
We should go together
to worship Buddha
He can bless you in your job,
get you promoted all the way
Understand?
Hey, Khamlao...
We haven't done anything
in a few weeks
How about it?
I would, but I'm very tired
What?
That's what you
always say
I never know if
you're making it up
Come here
Mmm, you're a big girl...
You must know how to
take care of your husband
You must care about him
You know? Let me have that
I'll give you some bee feces (honey)
to smear on your lips
Give it two or three days
to take effect
Boi
Get the bee feces
Your husband will be
back before the week's out
Master, we're out of bee feces
Oh
Never mind
Just use horse feces instead
Get some horse feces
It's imported, yeah?
Good shit
Better than from our
own common horses
You take it away and
smear it on your lips
You have a lovely smile
Here, master
Good, thank you
Don't lower your head,
lift it up
Yeah... nice...
Your husband'll be back,
no doubt about it
Is this guy for real?
Of course! Can't you see?
All these people have come
to see the master
- Ah, Chun!
- Master!
What can I do for you?
My grandson would like
master to look at his leg
Okay, sit over here
What's wrong with his leg?
It doesn't work
It doesn't work?
In what way?
He's not fully grown
You're a funny guy
I'll bet you watch a
lot of funny TV shows
Watch them every evening, right?
Come here, kid
How do you do
Master, can you make me better?
Both legs look the same
After I've done this
you'll definitely be able
to stand up
Now listen carefully, kid
Yeah?
- Repeat after me
- Okay
- Amitabha Buddha
- Amitabha Buddha
- Buddha Amitabha
- Buddha Amitabha
- Amidala Bubba
- Amid...
Hey, kid, what are you talking about?
You follow me, yes?
Good, kid, now try walking
Walk, walk
Great, now come back,
come back
Great, kid,
take a seat
Chun, come over here
Take your grandson to a hospital
and get a bone doctor to examine him
Okay, see you later
Lao
Here
Who have you come with today?
My man
Ah, I see...
Well, come over here
Get over there
How dare you act like
this in front of me
Don't hit me
You can have him
Come, sit over here.
He's your man, right?
Yes, master
Have you been hit
by anyone else?
You certainly have
a very sad face
It comes from his
childhood, master
Come here, let me get
a good look at you
Let me see...
The Five Elements in your
face look alright
Lao can look for other men
She looks okay, too
Your eyebrows are okay
A man with these eyebrows
can make a great fortune
Both left and right are fine
Hey, don't look at
me like that
Give me a wink, go on
Sniff it... go on...
You'll have to sniff a lot
to make the big money
Your mouth's a bit small
I'm sure we can save the
rest of your face
Okay, now I'm going to
speak a blessing, listen good
Ta da!
You look a little tense
Just relax, have a laugh
Great, just one more blessing
Come back tomorrow at three!
I have an important mission for you!
You all must be aware of the
purpose of today's meeting
That is, to ensure the
prosperity of our nation
Understood?
We have read about these
two dangerous individuals
The most important one
is this man
His name is Suchin
The one on the right
is called Surachai
He is our second priority
We know that these two
are now in the country
They run a music company as a
cover for their operations
This company...
...besides producing music...
...also secretly smuggle arms
These two are threatening the
prosperity of our nation, understood?
It is up to one department
The KGB and CIA have found
evidence enough to arrest them
We need to catch them and
bring them to justice
Which department is willing
to take this task on?
Sir, I think I've got someone
Are you deaf?
The phone's been ringing
for ages, pick it up
You're just like a pig
It's always for you, anyway
That's Lao, my wife
I know
She's embarrassing,
I'll just answer the phone
Hello?
Right
Okay, no problem
You're in charge
of this case
This is a real chance
to prove yourself
There's two suspects involved
They pose a serious
threat to the nation
Can I use any methods to
get the right results?
That's your business
Why not give this job
to anyone else?
That's my business
Well, how do I explain to my
wife that I'm going undercover?
That's your business
Your phone's ringing
I know
Darling, I haven't forgotten
Get going, I'm sure
you'll do the job fine
Get going
That's my business
You're going to be
a French teacher?!
Heavens!
You can't speak your
own language very well
Going, going... going where?
Coming and going...
You'll be off again as
soon as you're back
I thought you were the type
to wait for death in old age
Just think about me
My heart feels ba-a-a-d
Actually I hate to go,
but it must be do-o-o-ne
Go!
Being a smartass again
I'll put you straight
Here we go again
Again, we've underachieved
Mr Lah
To make music, you really
have to use your head
Take a look at 4SO
Such a small company,
but they're very successful
Their music sells like wildfire
Looks at us, we're a big company
But our records just don't sell
Yes, boss
You want to sell records
But understand that this business
is just like buying a lottery ticket
Sometimes you get a hit,
sometimes you don't
I'm a businessman
I don't play the lottery
I don't want to
have to say this
Surachai, you agree with me, right?
Tell him how angry we are
I'm so worked up,
I need a sit down
Mr Lah
You know my company is
continuously losing money
You've been in charge
of seven or eight records
They've not sold very well
Seriously
I really ought to reprimand you
But I'm not that
kind of guy
I don't want to repeat
his harsh language
Is the coffee too hot?
You took so long, are you
telling me you don't know?
Mr Lah
I'll give you three months
If you don't get results,
I'll have to let you go
Or, if you wish, you
can let yourself go
But right now...
I'd like your ass off
my sofa right away
Hello? It's me
I've had some bad luck
My record sales haven't
been good recently
I didn't think so
I'm sure things will improve
Wait for me to get back to you
I'm hanging up
Buddy, it'd be better to
shit in there
Eh? My ass is sticky...
Oh man, that stinks really bad
Mr Lah, there are three to
audition for you today
- Three?
- Yes
Good
I'll call them over
Number one, please
Name?
Moi
Full name?
Little Sister Moi
- Little Sister Moi?
- Correct
What'll you sing?
To Be Loved
It's a movie theme song
I know, it's a dark movie
You seen it?
Three times
You've got a lot
of spare time
None of your business
Okay, sing
We're carried away
to a far off place
Holding hands in the
busy city streets
Our love flies above a thousand
mountains, ten thousand rivers
Do you feel the same way too?
Enough, enough
Get out
To be honest, your
singing is awful
I've not reached the best bit
I think you've gone far enough
Out, out
Next
Thank you
How do you do
Name?
Long Sai
What'll you sing?
Tears Of A Woman
That's by
[singer I don't know]
Yes
Go ahead
You once had pledged
your love to me
But as flowers bloom,
they also fall
You went far away
and left me here
Tears fall from my eyes
That you still chose to leave
Your eyes betrayed
your heart's desires
I feel such a fool, crying
tears because of you
Have you seen a doctor?
Why?
You need your upper
lip looked at
Get out
Little Sister Moi left a minute
ago, why not join him?
How do you do
My bag
Yes, I see
Name?
Khamlao
Can you sing?
Very well, sir
My friends call me
"The God of Song"
Can you dance?
I'm at the top level
My friends call me
"The Immortal Dancer"
Follow me
Do you think you've got
a winning artist here?
- Yes
- Mr Lah...
Where did you find him?
You just found him
walking down the street?
This guy can be a star too?
Wait, wait...
Mr Lah...
Are you asking me
to help him?
How come his face
looks like that?
You're very fond of him, Mr Lah
This is your last chance
Go and do what you like, okay?
I don't want to see you.
You'll be gone in a few months anyway
Every time I see you...
...I don't know how I
get so angry
Just get out of here
Hey, Lah!
Hello, Dai!
You're always in those rivers
I come out dry, though
You and your boss need me
This is Khamlao
Khamlao
How do you do
Hah! Same to you!
He's my new top man
Is that so?
Is he gonna be a comedian?
No, a singer
A singer?
That's right. What do you think?
Look at his appearance
Makes me feel handsome
Muscles ain't bad, though
You must do shadow-boxing
He's not a boxer, he's a singer
Does that tickle?
He looks okay
The feng shui on his
face needs work
Alright
If we can make this work,
he'll be huge! Hah!
Smile, give me a smiling face
Alright, count on me
What shall I do?
Basically...
...help him with his dancing
- You sure?
- Yeah
I have full confidence in you
Starting right away?
Right now, this minute
This exact second?!
- Hey, Khamsao
- Khamlao
- Come here
- Okay
- What's your name?
- Khamlao
Have you danced before?
A little
You know the basics?
Like what, exactly?
Dancing basics!
Don't you understand?
Uh, no
What can you do? Whistle?
Yeah
Repeat after me
You must try hard,
Khamlao. Okay?
Okay
You'll be big, you just need confidence
Fine
I'll have soup noodles,
you have what you like
Two soup noodles, please
Okay
Thanks
Is there a toilet nearby?
A toilet
Toilet...
I need to go
I don't think so
You can go against that wall
Go, it doesn't matter
Okay
'Pissing Place'
Is that Mr Lah?
Hi, Mr Lah
How've you been?
Not too good
Well, it's bad luck for you
to have me run into you here
You bought some balls off me
Three
Three! And you've still not paid me
Get me the money, quick, quick
I don't have it
Oh really?
Where's my elephant?
Your elephant...?
Stop looking for trouble
Get outta here
Do you know how
to spell 'death'?
Well, do you know how?!
- I said, where's my elephant?
- God damn it, that's it!
Enough of this
elephant crap!
Get your sweet longan fruit!
What would you like?
Do you have mangosteen?
Sold out
I've got longan fruit
I'd like some cherries
Stop messing me about,
buy something or forget it
Longan fruit, then
How many?
One kilo
Yes
I'll carry them
Hey!
No need to be so angry
I'm not
I thought you were getting angry
Don't fight in my cafe!
Stop fighting!
Don't hit me!
Don't hit me! Don't hit me!
Where's my elephant?!
It's in the car!
You can have the damn thing!
He really can fight...
Not my lucky day
For the motherland,
eat longan fruit!
You're mental
What happened?
That was just to teach
you kids a lesson
Next time it'll be serious
Khamlao, let's go
Hey, you remember me?
It's me!
I called you for ages!!
Mr Lah!
I see that other guy's wife,
she's nicer than my wife
I go home as soon as I see her
Why are everyone else's
wives so much prettier?
This is simply human nature
My wife is such an old witch
So I'm so fond of
other guy's wives
My own wife gets worse and worse
She gets even fatter,
she loses her shape
It's the feeling inside anyone
You don't realise what
a treasure you have
It's a sin,
It's despicable
My better half
Some days I get drunk
And think she looks prettier
But when I get sober, the
effect of alcohol is clear
It numbed my own eyesight
More and more I think
other guy's wives are prettier
I used to regret it
Arguing with the wife was
the norm in my house
Yet more and more, I think
other guy's wives are prettier
More and more I regret my decision
I don't know what I was thinking
This is unbelievable
We welcome Mummy Lao
to the show
His new song's all the rage
It's his debut song,
and on the cover...
...is a picture of the very
handsome Mummy Lao
Go and buy it now
It's been selling well
in all VCD shops
I recommend that everyone
gives it a listen
It's very interesting music
Some people who've bought it
can attach it to elephant's tails
And when they walk, their
tails flick around
Then other people will notice it
- Hello!
- Hello.
So, Mummy Lao...
First off, congratulations
on a top-selling album
How do you feel?
I feel great
And when I see such a beautiful
woman as you, I feel even better
My heart's really pounding
What do you think of the album?
I think it's not bad
Can I have your phone number?
Let's talk about the album
It's your first one
It's really great music
How do you do it?
My coach gets it out of me.
You know, you and me...
...could make sweet
music together, too
Oh! Thank you!
Your album has sold
one million copies already
How do you feel about
this great achievement?
At first I didn't believe
it'd do so well
But it's starting to sink in.
Now I can believe it
My music is good music
He talks a lot
And says nothing
I thank Mr Lah's training
Mr Lah's here too
I'll let him speak
I'll always remember...
...the first time I saw him
I thought "he's talented,
I can't miss him"
He's no average person
I then slowly discovered...
Beyond the sky,
there is more sky
Beyond the mountains,
there are more mountains
He can sing and dance
I don't think I've heard what
he's really capable of yet
But I believe my own eyes
He has a gift for
song and dance
Thanks everyone
Thanks
Bye
Ah, Miss Lan
Congratulations
Haven't you wondered how
you've been so successful?
I haven't thought about it
If I knew how, I would
have made it better
Ah. Well, I've got to go
See you later
Miss Lan
What is it?
Could we have lunch sometime?
Is this appropriate?
Of course
When's good for you?
Any time's good, so long as
it's not your time of the month
In that case, not now
I'll ask again next month
You don't know
whether to stay or go
She's just that
kind of person
I heard she's someone
else's wife
Everybody says that
- Really?
- Really!
That big woman's always
causing trouble
Hey, it's that really
popular singer
- Who?
- On the TV, see?
I see that other guy's wife,
she's nicer than my wife
I go home as soon as I see her
- Why are everyone else's wives...
- That bastard!
Don't be naughty, children
- They yours?
- Yes
Their father's a drunkard
Every day he gets drunk
and doesn't look after them
Kids, go play over there
Go over there
Come on!
Hurry up
Get moving!
Grr! I haven't eaten
children in a while!
I haven't eaten
feet in a while
Let go! Let go!
Take that!
Bam!
In yer face!
Left!
Right again!
No pain!
Idiots! Put them away!
I'm dead...
Hold it!
Can't you remember
what he looked like?
You know, I've just
remembered who he was
Lightning?
No, a footballer
Boss, I've got him
Where?
Mummy Lao?!
It doesn't matter who
He dared to pull the
wool over my eyes
Doing this was a
big surprise
I hope you know
what I mean
If you let him slip...
...don't come back
and see me
Understand?
We're unlikely to come
back and see you
Good
Now you know
Go quickly
Get out of my sight
Boss, is it really Mummy Lao?
I'll tell you once more
It's him
Where did you find him?
He came to my office,
he found me
I took him to you at once
You know the rest
Surachai, I'll take
care of everything
I don't want to talk to
you, waste of time
Ah! You came!
I'm sorry, I'm late
Never mind,
I don't mind waiting for you
Did you bring your ass?
If so, plant it
down here
Thanks
Would you like
a drink?
Or perhaps something stronger?
Hah, I don't use that,
I'm a good boy
It's not really my thing
You're looking
very pretty
Men always like
to start like that
At first I feel embarrassed
But I'm pretty hot right now
so I just accept it
Yeah, I agree
You really know how
to have fun
Sometimes I get
high to have fun!
You're kidding, right?
You're a really funny girl
I was joking!
Do you come here often?
Sometimes
- The atmosphere's great
- You're right
You want to go and sing?
Woo, what a blast
We should come
together next time
So what were you doing
in the basement?
Hey, don't look at
me like that
CIA
CIA
We've been investigating
Surachai for ages
Sorry about grabbing
you back there
You went green!
It doesn't matter
Here we are
Whose room is this?
Yours
You have your key?
In here? Let me do it
Why is the key like that?
The key's normally
smaller than that
Well, it's the right size
to open the door
Ah! You're right
Your place looks very nice
A beautiful woman needs
a beautiful place
Oh, is that so?
Baby...
She's got light skin...
...a thin waist...
...leaves little to
the imagination
No way, I'm a
good family man
I need to find my husband,
why can't I go in?
My husband's inside!
Let me go!
You're not allowed in!
See? That's my
husband, Khamlao
No, that's Mummy Lao
They're the same person!
Hey! Hey! Hello!
Help me! Help me!
Hey!
You asshole!
I put a curse on you!
Yes, I see
We've got a fan
causing trouble
Okay
Why won't you let
me go in?!
Hey! How do you do!
Hi, you guys!
How do you do!
You can get me
upstairs, right?
I don't have a
ticket, see you later
Hi everybody!
How are you doing?
How about you
just perform?
You can have love in marriage
My heart is forever young
My young heart is
reborn with love
For this, you need
great courage
Yesterday, you
married my sister
The wedding car came
through my house door
The wedding music came
through my heart door
My heart sheds tears,
sheds tears
You just came
Already I want
to win your heart
How can I do it?
A man can't be
greedy like that
- You can have love in marriage...
- Snipers in 12 positions
My heart is forever young
My young heart is
reborn with love
For this, you need
great courage
Damn fly!
My heart should not
be held back
We must live for ourselves,
follow our heart's desires
Hi everyone
How do you do
- Been on stage yet?
- Not yet
We should've been by now
Well, I've got stuff to
do, I'm going
Well, go!
Go on!
I don't get why everyone
likes you anyway
How'd it go?
It all went well, Boss
Make sure nothing goes wrong
Yes, Boss
Be careful with that
Check!
Nah, I'm telling you...
I told you to go here
But you didn't,
so you lost
Not good enough
Both of you suck at this
Very smart, my husband's
just as stupid as you
Stop taking so long,
get on with it!
Oh no!
What's she doing here?
Don't move!
Khamlao!
Here at last
They dragged me here
Have you done
something illegal?
You killed someone?
Are you angry at me?
If you don't want
to die, be quiet
I see
Come with me
Where?
Just come with me
Hey, he avoided our bullets
Well done, Mummy Lao
Sorry about last time,
I didn't have time to play
Kill him
Don't move!
Put down your weapons!
Now!
Miss Lan!
So you and Khamlao
are working together?
I'm on nobody's side
I belong to me
So why's she coming for us?
I don't know
Miss Lan
Could you put
the gun down?
No way
Miss Lan, you've
got the advantage
I'm down here,
you have the high ground
Could you put
the gun down?
Huh?
No way
I'll give you three seconds
Hey, who's this?
Looks Japanese
Looks pretty stupid
Japanese people must be
more stupid than pigs
He deserves to
burn to death
Turn it on!
Of course, dear
Hah, whose husband is this?
So talented and handsome
Go
Wait
I want a flower
as a gift
Wait for Spring
Go inside
Stay with me!
You want to die? Go!
Go, quickly!
- Was I good?
- Very
You're the best, now go!
- Honey
- Yeah?
Get going
No, if you die,
we die together
Fine
Go to my right
Stand further away
Bit further
- Okay?
- Yeah
Dear friend, please
come with me
I'll take you to
find your love
Come, come,
come with me
Hey, shoot!
You know how to
fire a gun, right?
Do you want to die?
Shoot, now!
Nice one, now you know
how tough we are
Let's go
Damn, I forgot to eat
breakfast this morning
Come on!
Hold it!
I've got a gun
in my belt
I haven't got one
I said MY belt!
Everybody back off!
Or I'll kill him!
He's right! Back off!
Otherwise I'll die!
Get back!
Are you putting on an act?
An act?!
Hey, Surachai!
What's your problem?
You really shot me!
What's my problem?
I'm out of ideas
Don't come closer!
Get back!
Get off the boat!
Get back!
Agh, my little man!
Oh God!
Agh! The pain's killing me!
Now we're just like
a couple of water dogs
Surachai
Can we escape now?
- Surachai?
- Yeah?
We've finished our act
Now call the train
to pick us up
Are you saying your
dad is a train?
Crazy guy
Help...
Mixed-up fella
Miss Lan
These two are
my prisoners
Come again, Mummy Lao?
You've got a nerve
No he hasn't
I've been on this
case for over a year
You want to meddle
in this case?
Hello? Yeah, okay
Darling, I didn't eat
lunch today
Okay, I'll have
chicken, fine
I'll eat the skin
too, no problem
Fine, okay darling
Great, don't worry,
I'll be back later, okay?
Oh, can I have hot
soup too, darling?
Bring him here
Everybody come with me
Talk to your wife
Where are you?
Are you dead?
Where are you?
You must have died
He was going to die
a moment ago
I always wondered how
someone like him could die
If you died...
...the Gods would
not approve
You saw that he isn't
I grabbed a submachine gun
when those guys were after you
I've helped you so much
"I see that other guy's wife,
she's nicer than my wife"
"Why are everyone else's
wives so much prettier?"
I don't like those lyrics!
You're so dishonest!
Hey, look me in the eye!
Ladies and gentlemen
Good evening
Thank you very much
for coming tonight
Tonight I shall
specially commend...
...an especially brave
police officer
Nobody else can
compare to him
We should all learn
something from him
We conduct this
special assembly...
...to commend this especially
brave police officer
He fully deserves
this honour
I also would like to
congratulate him
Now I shall announce
that receiving the award...
...is the special
anti-terror officer...
Officer Khamlao
That's my husband!
My husband!
Here, this is your
new assignment
Inside is a man who...
...has made a significant
contribution to the country
Have a good
read of it
Learn all you
can about him
You can see him later
Good luck
Petchtai Wongkamlao
Ready?
And, action
I'm not signing. Go
You're useless, I'm not signing
Hey, you've cheated me again!
You've cheated me again, right?
You've done this to me
twice, you bastard
I didn't argue last time
This time, you called me
I got 2 lines
and died again
You've made a mistake now
You rely on me
Why'd you do this to me?
I lend my talent
to assist you
And you make a
fool of me, asshole
Two lines then die!
You've made a mistake
You've gone too far now
Come on, we're going
We're leaving!
Don't just sit there!
God damn it
Take the mat with you
That's my mother's treasure
She'd hate for me
to lose it
What're you looking at?
I'm the lead in almost
everything I'm in
Have you seen
my last film?
Have you? Huh?
They specially asked me
to play the lead
Not a supporting
role, you see
Hey! Have you seen it?
A big director wanted me
for the lead too
I made the entire show
It was full of stars
I'm telling you
Since then Sahamongkol Films
wanted me to do stuff
I'm not being in
any of your films
I'm going to work
with a real director
I came at 5am with my
whole family, asshole
Your other actors
came at 3pm
Get that camera
away from me!
I'm serious, you prick
I'm no ordinary person
Don't you know I'm
a big movie star?
I was famous when
you were a kid
The whole country loves
my films, you know
Remember this, I'm not
doing any more of your films
If I'm in a movie of yours,
I'm a son of a bitch
Don't, son! Leave it!
My son's a boxer,
trained by a champion
Don't bother, son,
let's go
You wouldn't know if
you're hitting him or a dog
You're not dead because
I'm letting you off
You'll die sooner or later
I'm telling you, you're
going to get killed
Think about it
You saying nothing?
You chicken
Nothing to say.
Asshole
Get in the car,
we're going
You dare to treat me like this
Guys like you deserve to die
You hear me?!
Look at me! Every time
you ask me to do your films
I get no lines and you kill me
You're not a real man
I hope you crash
your car and die
You get your boss to
come out and talk to me
Get them to speak to me
We're going now
Don't try and
call me up later
I won't listen
I'm not being in
any of your films
Everyone wants me
in their films
You bastard!
Asshole!
Little square-faced prick!
We're going son, ignore them
Never ask me to
make a film again
That's enough, son
You complete asshole
Bastard!
Cut
At last
Hey!
Now you know that this world
really has heaven!
You could say that again!
Listen, repeat after me
Suffo
Suffo!
Cate
Cate!
Right, so get out!
I'm suffocating! We don't
have to go up together!
Bunch of idiots!
When will you ever get smart?
This way, please, on the left
But don't go behind there!
That's the washroom!
Hi there
- Would you like a drink?
- No, thanks
Hi, Boss Wang!
Long time no see
How've you been? Take a seat
Sit! Sit!
Right now, I'm telling you,
I'm not drunk
Hey, how'd you hurt your head?
I think
that kids are really nasty
these days, huh?
Him, you see him?
- Who?
- That guy who's smiling
Got that?
Here's a gun
Take it! Quick!
First, let me see the goods
- Number 3!
- Yes?
Let Boss Wang see the goods
I think I trust
Boss Wang's reputation
I wasn't likely to sell
But now it looks
really straightforward
I've had many people buy
from me before
I've not sold to them all, though
There's no picture
Number 3, why didn't you turn it
on so Boss Wang could see?
Didn't you know that Boss
Wang can't use this thing?
Come on, kid!
You're embarrassing Boss Wang!
Here, let me help
What do you think?
Looks good, yeah?
I'll go with you!
You know how to use the gun?
Are you kidding? Me and
my dad
used to go hunting
all the time
That's good
Look over there
See that guy?
I'll take him out and go inside
Remember that, okay?
Then, when I nod my head,
you open fire, okay?
Hey, get the money
I don't have it
Well, get it from whoever,
right now!
You're as stupid as a pig!
Do you turn this to the left?
Uh, no
You sure you know how to use this?
Are you kidding? You think I can't?
Put the bullet in the top
Aim it, then pull the trigger
Why put the bullet in first?
Once you've put it in,
it'll shoot out!
Take the safety off first,
though, okay?
The safety...?
You really have no clue, do you?
Are you kidding?
I hunted every day as a kid
Fine
Don't let anyone see you
Keep an eye on what's
going on inside
Kid, you ain't comin' in,
get outta here!
Nobody move!
Hey, what're the cops doing here?
I dunno!
I don't get it!
Maybe he's your friend!
You playing a prank on me?
Bullet in top, safety off...
I'm an honest businessman, see
If I was dishonest
I'd already be dead!
Oh crap, I'd better get up there!
Quick! Kill him!
Is that cop really your friend?
Idiot, what do you think?!
Look where you shoot first!
You're all over the place!
You bunch of idiots!
Quickly, quickly!
This way!
Bullet in top, safety off...
Why won't it work? Weird...
- Sin!
- Ah, it's you
What're you doing?
Sitting down
I know! Where'd they go?
They went that way
I've fired it twice...
(OR: I've used two guns...)
But I still can't work it properly!
"Don't be sad..."
Quickly, quickly!
Is that a bird? So small...
It's the Malaysian Import bird!
I've never seen that before.
Except with small kids
It's just arrived in Thailand!
From far away, eh?
It's lost its plumage
It must've hit something
If I hit it
it'll fly away
No, don't!
Boss, this way
Boss, go quick
To have served... for you...
I die... with no... regret...
"Go quick"
He was truly a good man
I should give you a medal
for your wisdom and bravery
This is the basement
You pressed the button, moron!
If I die, will you
give me a medal too?
I'll give you a fart instead!
You wanna sacrifice yourself
for me, right?
Didn't you hear the shooting?!
Come on!
You stay here
The rest, come with me
Kill him!
Jesus, you idiots!
How the hell did you miss?!
He got away!
Idiots!
Who are you shooting at?!!
Don't just fire at random!!
You've got a gun too?
I thought you didn't, but
I think you might do
Please, have my bike. Take it
That way! Quick, follow him!
I drive in a straight line,
you turn and hit my lamp!
You knew I wanted to turn,
why didn't you slow down?
You what?
Hey, do you know what the
biggest fish in the world is?
Catfish?
No, whale
What's the grey thing up above?
That's a motorcycle
Damn it, why's it taking so long?
Hey, what's that noise?
Ah, they're making a movie,
it was like this last week
Didn't you know?
They've closed the road off, too
See? They're filming them
shooting that motorcycle
Don't worry
The ambulance will be here soon
Go through them!
I'm not dead...
My day is not done...
You can't kill me!
I cannot die!
This game's getting
on my nerves
Buddha blesses me!
Come with me, I've got
a great car to show you
This way, sir
This car's only 300,000 baht
And may I say that sir
looks like a man of quality
From your clothing, I can
see you like quality
This car suits you best
We have a four-year payment plan
Plus big-name insurance
It also has a loud horn
A very loud one, see?
Scared you, didn't it?
What do you think,
are you interested?
Would you like a test drive?
If sir would like a test drive,
I'll just go and get the key
I'll be back in a moment
Okay, let me stop the car
Yeah... no problem...
Listen to me, baby...
I don't want you dead
You're always on my mind
Don't worry, I've just
been really busy
I had a bad dream last night
I dreamt I'd lost you
Never mind, don't worry
It was just a dream
Sir, I've got the key,
shall we go for a test drive?
I see you're really keen
on getting going, huh?
Don't worry, sir
I always said this car
suited you beeesst!!
Must you cross the
street like that?!
Do you want to die?
I've driven for 20 years
and never hit anyone
I've crossed this street for 60 years,
and I've never been hit by anyone
I like to go slowly
How about you?
Jesus, how come you've
got a gun?!
You never give up!
Are you a killer?
You can't hit me,
Buddha blesses me!
Hey, the car's on its side!
Do something!
Hey! I'm dying here!
Jesus, you're following me
too much, just like a dog!
Where's the gas?
Hey, could you get the gas on?
Be brave, we'll share
either life or death
I'm with the Thai Police
Anti-Terror Department
What do we do
about the car?
Get it repaired
Oh
Get up, get up
Don't turn round, or
I'll gouge your eyes out
You're tough to catch
Get up, let's go
Why'd you arrest me?
I've done nothing
You think I'm a big boss,
do I look like a bad guy?
Would a bad guy look this nice?
My family are very important, you know
My father is a big jewel dealer
My mother works in the national bank
My brother is in the Department
of Commercial Affairs
You're in big trouble!
You'll die for this!
I've told you before
Anything you do must
be within reason
What was your reason for this?
Were you thinking clearly?
Yeah, yeah
I'm at work.
I'll be back at about 6
Okay, see you later
The reputation of the police
is completely gone because of this
You did so many stupid things
Do you have any idea how much
the compensation will be?
Your family's pretty rich, huh?
Well, my family isn't!
You...
Hi, darling.
I miss you
No, I'll eat on the way
home after work
Okay, no problem,
back at 6, definitely
Oh, you want food too?
Yeah? I'll get some more
Great, no problem.
See you at 6
I don't know if your
head is screwed on
If that guy's brother files
a complaint against us
you and me are finished!
We'll be out of a job,
you understand?
Do you understand me?
I'll NOT be back at 6!
I haven't eaten yet!
Get out, just get out!
I said get out now!
My family background is marvelous
My whole family works
for the government
I must tell all of you
Especially you! You'll be
put in prison!
People like you deserve to die!
I must warn every one of you
Except myself, I really must
warn every single one of you
Every one of you will
be put in prison!
You've got to warn us, right?
Huh?!
My husband makes me angry
He suffocated me
Comes and goes when he likes
He already went away ages ago
He's still not come home
I don't know what he might
be doing while he's away
I thought he was off
doing his job
But he's been gone a month,
and still hasn't come back
At one time he was a salesman
I don't know what happened
with that job, either
How much money does
he make these days?
Keep the change
Keep what change? You gave
me exactly 200...
Weirdo...
This hairstyle is so now,
it's very pretty
Guess who?
It's an asshole!
Can't you see I'm working?
And where have you been?
All these clothes
haven't been washed
Get down to the laundry
to wash them
You need to get a job
Where do I wash?
Why are you asking me?
Do it yourself!
Come back, take that bag
Get on with it
You want me to do
it for you?
Just look at you, idiot
What did I ever see in him?
I must've been feeling funny
You saw my husband, right?
Such an idiot isn't he?
It's terrible to have a
husband like this
It's better to not
get married these days
I work these days, regardless
of what you do
You've got to learn
how to be patient
Don't be so impulsive
Sometimes you've got
to compromise
Understand?
Only then can you
keep a steady job
I mean, these days you don't know
what money is coming in
I need money for
a house, a car...
Hey, before you go to sleep,
let me remind you
You should remember when
important people speak to you
How long does it take you
to remember anything?
Wongkam
I want to go to Bangkok
to worship Buddha
Buddha seems pretty
effective over there
We should go together
to worship Buddha
He can bless you in your job,
get you promoted all the way
Understand?
Hey, Khamlao...
We haven't done anything
in a few weeks
How about it?
I would, but I'm very tired
What?
That's what you
always say
I never know if
you're making it up
Come here
Mmm, you're a big girl...
You must know how to
take care of your husband
You must care about him
You know? Let me have that
I'll give you some bee feces (honey)
to smear on your lips
Give it two or three days
to take effect
Boi
Get the bee feces
Your husband will be
back before the week's out
Master, we're out of bee feces
Oh
Never mind
Just use horse feces instead
Get some horse feces
It's imported, yeah?
Good shit
Better than from our
own common horses
You take it away and
smear it on your lips
You have a lovely smile
Here, master
Good, thank you
Don't lower your head,
lift it up
Yeah... nice...
Your husband'll be back,
no doubt about it
Is this guy for real?
Of course! Can't you see?
All these people have come
to see the master
- Ah, Chun!
- Master!
What can I do for you?
My grandson would like
master to look at his leg
Okay, sit over here
What's wrong with his leg?
It doesn't work
It doesn't work?
In what way?
He's not fully grown
You're a funny guy
I'll bet you watch a
lot of funny TV shows
Watch them every evening, right?
Come here, kid
How do you do
Master, can you make me better?
Both legs look the same
After I've done this
you'll definitely be able
to stand up
Now listen carefully, kid
Yeah?
- Repeat after me
- Okay
- Amitabha Buddha
- Amitabha Buddha
- Buddha Amitabha
- Buddha Amitabha
- Amidala Bubba
- Amid...
Hey, kid, what are you talking about?
You follow me, yes?
Good, kid, now try walking
Walk, walk
Great, now come back,
come back
Great, kid,
take a seat
Chun, come over here
Take your grandson to a hospital
and get a bone doctor to examine him
Okay, see you later
Lao
Here
Who have you come with today?
My man
Ah, I see...
Well, come over here
Get over there
How dare you act like
this in front of me
Don't hit me
You can have him
Come, sit over here.
He's your man, right?
Yes, master
Have you been hit
by anyone else?
You certainly have
a very sad face
It comes from his
childhood, master
Come here, let me get
a good look at you
Let me see...
The Five Elements in your
face look alright
Lao can look for other men
She looks okay, too
Your eyebrows are okay
A man with these eyebrows
can make a great fortune
Both left and right are fine
Hey, don't look at
me like that
Give me a wink, go on
Sniff it... go on...
You'll have to sniff a lot
to make the big money
Your mouth's a bit small
I'm sure we can save the
rest of your face
Okay, now I'm going to
speak a blessing, listen good
Ta da!
You look a little tense
Just relax, have a laugh
Great, just one more blessing
Come back tomorrow at three!
I have an important mission for you!
You all must be aware of the
purpose of today's meeting
That is, to ensure the
prosperity of our nation
Understood?
We have read about these
two dangerous individuals
The most important one
is this man
His name is Suchin
The one on the right
is called Surachai
He is our second priority
We know that these two
are now in the country
They run a music company as a
cover for their operations
This company...
...besides producing music...
...also secretly smuggle arms
These two are threatening the
prosperity of our nation, understood?
It is up to one department
The KGB and CIA have found
evidence enough to arrest them
We need to catch them and
bring them to justice
Which department is willing
to take this task on?
Sir, I think I've got someone
Are you deaf?
The phone's been ringing
for ages, pick it up
You're just like a pig
It's always for you, anyway
That's Lao, my wife
I know
She's embarrassing,
I'll just answer the phone
Hello?
Right
Okay, no problem
You're in charge
of this case
This is a real chance
to prove yourself
There's two suspects involved
They pose a serious
threat to the nation
Can I use any methods to
get the right results?
That's your business
Why not give this job
to anyone else?
That's my business
Well, how do I explain to my
wife that I'm going undercover?
That's your business
Your phone's ringing
I know
Darling, I haven't forgotten
Get going, I'm sure
you'll do the job fine
Get going
That's my business
You're going to be
a French teacher?!
Heavens!
You can't speak your
own language very well
Going, going... going where?
Coming and going...
You'll be off again as
soon as you're back
I thought you were the type
to wait for death in old age
Just think about me
My heart feels ba-a-a-d
Actually I hate to go,
but it must be do-o-o-ne
Go!
Being a smartass again
I'll put you straight
Here we go again
Again, we've underachieved
Mr Lah
To make music, you really
have to use your head
Take a look at 4SO
Such a small company,
but they're very successful
Their music sells like wildfire
Looks at us, we're a big company
But our records just don't sell
Yes, boss
You want to sell records
But understand that this business
is just like buying a lottery ticket
Sometimes you get a hit,
sometimes you don't
I'm a businessman
I don't play the lottery
I don't want to
have to say this
Surachai, you agree with me, right?
Tell him how angry we are
I'm so worked up,
I need a sit down
Mr Lah
You know my company is
continuously losing money
You've been in charge
of seven or eight records
They've not sold very well
Seriously
I really ought to reprimand you
But I'm not that
kind of guy
I don't want to repeat
his harsh language
Is the coffee too hot?
You took so long, are you
telling me you don't know?
Mr Lah
I'll give you three months
If you don't get results,
I'll have to let you go
Or, if you wish, you
can let yourself go
But right now...
I'd like your ass off
my sofa right away
Hello? It's me
I've had some bad luck
My record sales haven't
been good recently
I didn't think so
I'm sure things will improve
Wait for me to get back to you
I'm hanging up
Buddy, it'd be better to
shit in there
Eh? My ass is sticky...
Oh man, that stinks really bad
Mr Lah, there are three to
audition for you today
- Three?
- Yes
Good
I'll call them over
Number one, please
Name?
Moi
Full name?
Little Sister Moi
- Little Sister Moi?
- Correct
What'll you sing?
To Be Loved
It's a movie theme song
I know, it's a dark movie
You seen it?
Three times
You've got a lot
of spare time
None of your business
Okay, sing
We're carried away
to a far off place
Holding hands in the
busy city streets
Our love flies above a thousand
mountains, ten thousand rivers
Do you feel the same way too?
Enough, enough
Get out
To be honest, your
singing is awful
I've not reached the best bit
I think you've gone far enough
Out, out
Next
Thank you
How do you do
Name?
Long Sai
What'll you sing?
Tears Of A Woman
That's by
[singer I don't know]
Yes
Go ahead
You once had pledged
your love to me
But as flowers bloom,
they also fall
You went far away
and left me here
Tears fall from my eyes
That you still chose to leave
Your eyes betrayed
your heart's desires
I feel such a fool, crying
tears because of you
Have you seen a doctor?
Why?
You need your upper
lip looked at
Get out
Little Sister Moi left a minute
ago, why not join him?
How do you do
My bag
Yes, I see
Name?
Khamlao
Can you sing?
Very well, sir
My friends call me
"The God of Song"
Can you dance?
I'm at the top level
My friends call me
"The Immortal Dancer"
Follow me
Do you think you've got
a winning artist here?
- Yes
- Mr Lah...
Where did you find him?
You just found him
walking down the street?
This guy can be a star too?
Wait, wait...
Mr Lah...
Are you asking me
to help him?
How come his face
looks like that?
You're very fond of him, Mr Lah
This is your last chance
Go and do what you like, okay?
I don't want to see you.
You'll be gone in a few months anyway
Every time I see you...
...I don't know how I
get so angry
Just get out of here
Hey, Lah!
Hello, Dai!
You're always in those rivers
I come out dry, though
You and your boss need me
This is Khamlao
Khamlao
How do you do
Hah! Same to you!
He's my new top man
Is that so?
Is he gonna be a comedian?
No, a singer
A singer?
That's right. What do you think?
Look at his appearance
Makes me feel handsome
Muscles ain't bad, though
You must do shadow-boxing
He's not a boxer, he's a singer
Does that tickle?
He looks okay
The feng shui on his
face needs work
Alright
If we can make this work,
he'll be huge! Hah!
Smile, give me a smiling face
Alright, count on me
What shall I do?
Basically...
...help him with his dancing
- You sure?
- Yeah
I have full confidence in you
Starting right away?
Right now, this minute
This exact second?!
- Hey, Khamsao
- Khamlao
- Come here
- Okay
- What's your name?
- Khamlao
Have you danced before?
A little
You know the basics?
Like what, exactly?
Dancing basics!
Don't you understand?
Uh, no
What can you do? Whistle?
Yeah
Repeat after me
You must try hard,
Khamlao. Okay?
Okay
You'll be big, you just need confidence
Fine
I'll have soup noodles,
you have what you like
Two soup noodles, please
Okay
Thanks
Is there a toilet nearby?
A toilet
Toilet...
I need to go
I don't think so
You can go against that wall
Go, it doesn't matter
Okay
'Pissing Place'
Is that Mr Lah?
Hi, Mr Lah
How've you been?
Not too good
Well, it's bad luck for you
to have me run into you here
You bought some balls off me
Three
Three! And you've still not paid me
Get me the money, quick, quick
I don't have it
Oh really?
Where's my elephant?
Your elephant...?
Stop looking for trouble
Get outta here
Do you know how
to spell 'death'?
Well, do you know how?!
- I said, where's my elephant?
- God damn it, that's it!
Enough of this
elephant crap!
Get your sweet longan fruit!
What would you like?
Do you have mangosteen?
Sold out
I've got longan fruit
I'd like some cherries
Stop messing me about,
buy something or forget it
Longan fruit, then
How many?
One kilo
Yes
I'll carry them
Hey!
No need to be so angry
I'm not
I thought you were getting angry
Don't fight in my cafe!
Stop fighting!
Don't hit me!
Don't hit me! Don't hit me!
Where's my elephant?!
It's in the car!
You can have the damn thing!
He really can fight...
Not my lucky day
For the motherland,
eat longan fruit!
You're mental
What happened?
That was just to teach
you kids a lesson
Next time it'll be serious
Khamlao, let's go
Hey, you remember me?
It's me!
I called you for ages!!
Mr Lah!
I see that other guy's wife,
she's nicer than my wife
I go home as soon as I see her
Why are everyone else's
wives so much prettier?
This is simply human nature
My wife is such an old witch
So I'm so fond of
other guy's wives
My own wife gets worse and worse
She gets even fatter,
she loses her shape
It's the feeling inside anyone
You don't realise what
a treasure you have
It's a sin,
It's despicable
My better half
Some days I get drunk
And think she looks prettier
But when I get sober, the
effect of alcohol is clear
It numbed my own eyesight
More and more I think
other guy's wives are prettier
I used to regret it
Arguing with the wife was
the norm in my house
Yet more and more, I think
other guy's wives are prettier
More and more I regret my decision
I don't know what I was thinking
This is unbelievable
We welcome Mummy Lao
to the show
His new song's all the rage
It's his debut song,
and on the cover...
...is a picture of the very
handsome Mummy Lao
Go and buy it now
It's been selling well
in all VCD shops
I recommend that everyone
gives it a listen
It's very interesting music
Some people who've bought it
can attach it to elephant's tails
And when they walk, their
tails flick around
Then other people will notice it
- Hello!
- Hello.
So, Mummy Lao...
First off, congratulations
on a top-selling album
How do you feel?
I feel great
And when I see such a beautiful
woman as you, I feel even better
My heart's really pounding
What do you think of the album?
I think it's not bad
Can I have your phone number?
Let's talk about the album
It's your first one
It's really great music
How do you do it?
My coach gets it out of me.
You know, you and me...
...could make sweet
music together, too
Oh! Thank you!
Your album has sold
one million copies already
How do you feel about
this great achievement?
At first I didn't believe
it'd do so well
But it's starting to sink in.
Now I can believe it
My music is good music
He talks a lot
And says nothing
I thank Mr Lah's training
Mr Lah's here too
I'll let him speak
I'll always remember...
...the first time I saw him
I thought "he's talented,
I can't miss him"
He's no average person
I then slowly discovered...
Beyond the sky,
there is more sky
Beyond the mountains,
there are more mountains
He can sing and dance
I don't think I've heard what
he's really capable of yet
But I believe my own eyes
He has a gift for
song and dance
Thanks everyone
Thanks
Bye
Ah, Miss Lan
Congratulations
Haven't you wondered how
you've been so successful?
I haven't thought about it
If I knew how, I would
have made it better
Ah. Well, I've got to go
See you later
Miss Lan
What is it?
Could we have lunch sometime?
Is this appropriate?
Of course
When's good for you?
Any time's good, so long as
it's not your time of the month
In that case, not now
I'll ask again next month
You don't know
whether to stay or go
She's just that
kind of person
I heard she's someone
else's wife
Everybody says that
- Really?
- Really!
That big woman's always
causing trouble
Hey, it's that really
popular singer
- Who?
- On the TV, see?
I see that other guy's wife,
she's nicer than my wife
I go home as soon as I see her
- Why are everyone else's wives...
- That bastard!
Don't be naughty, children
- They yours?
- Yes
Their father's a drunkard
Every day he gets drunk
and doesn't look after them
Kids, go play over there
Go over there
Come on!
Hurry up
Get moving!
Grr! I haven't eaten
children in a while!
I haven't eaten
feet in a while
Let go! Let go!
Take that!
Bam!
In yer face!
Left!
Right again!
No pain!
Idiots! Put them away!
I'm dead...
Hold it!
Can't you remember
what he looked like?
You know, I've just
remembered who he was
Lightning?
No, a footballer
Boss, I've got him
Where?
Mummy Lao?!
It doesn't matter who
He dared to pull the
wool over my eyes
Doing this was a
big surprise
I hope you know
what I mean
If you let him slip...
...don't come back
and see me
Understand?
We're unlikely to come
back and see you
Good
Now you know
Go quickly
Get out of my sight
Boss, is it really Mummy Lao?
I'll tell you once more
It's him
Where did you find him?
He came to my office,
he found me
I took him to you at once
You know the rest
Surachai, I'll take
care of everything
I don't want to talk to
you, waste of time
Ah! You came!
I'm sorry, I'm late
Never mind,
I don't mind waiting for you
Did you bring your ass?
If so, plant it
down here
Thanks
Would you like
a drink?
Or perhaps something stronger?
Hah, I don't use that,
I'm a good boy
It's not really my thing
You're looking
very pretty
Men always like
to start like that
At first I feel embarrassed
But I'm pretty hot right now
so I just accept it
Yeah, I agree
You really know how
to have fun
Sometimes I get
high to have fun!
You're kidding, right?
You're a really funny girl
I was joking!
Do you come here often?
Sometimes
- The atmosphere's great
- You're right
You want to go and sing?
Woo, what a blast
We should come
together next time
So what were you doing
in the basement?
Hey, don't look at
me like that
CIA
CIA
We've been investigating
Surachai for ages
Sorry about grabbing
you back there
You went green!
It doesn't matter
Here we are
Whose room is this?
Yours
You have your key?
In here? Let me do it
Why is the key like that?
The key's normally
smaller than that
Well, it's the right size
to open the door
Ah! You're right
Your place looks very nice
A beautiful woman needs
a beautiful place
Oh, is that so?
Baby...
She's got light skin...
...a thin waist...
...leaves little to
the imagination
No way, I'm a
good family man
I need to find my husband,
why can't I go in?
My husband's inside!
Let me go!
You're not allowed in!
See? That's my
husband, Khamlao
No, that's Mummy Lao
They're the same person!
Hey! Hey! Hello!
Help me! Help me!
Hey!
You asshole!
I put a curse on you!
Yes, I see
We've got a fan
causing trouble
Okay
Why won't you let
me go in?!
Hey! How do you do!
Hi, you guys!
How do you do!
You can get me
upstairs, right?
I don't have a
ticket, see you later
Hi everybody!
How are you doing?
How about you
just perform?
You can have love in marriage
My heart is forever young
My young heart is
reborn with love
For this, you need
great courage
Yesterday, you
married my sister
The wedding car came
through my house door
The wedding music came
through my heart door
My heart sheds tears,
sheds tears
You just came
Already I want
to win your heart
How can I do it?
A man can't be
greedy like that
- You can have love in marriage...
- Snipers in 12 positions
My heart is forever young
My young heart is
reborn with love
For this, you need
great courage
Damn fly!
My heart should not
be held back
We must live for ourselves,
follow our heart's desires
Hi everyone
How do you do
- Been on stage yet?
- Not yet
We should've been by now
Well, I've got stuff to
do, I'm going
Well, go!
Go on!
I don't get why everyone
likes you anyway
How'd it go?
It all went well, Boss
Make sure nothing goes wrong
Yes, Boss
Be careful with that
Check!
Nah, I'm telling you...
I told you to go here
But you didn't,
so you lost
Not good enough
Both of you suck at this
Very smart, my husband's
just as stupid as you
Stop taking so long,
get on with it!
Oh no!
What's she doing here?
Don't move!
Khamlao!
Here at last
They dragged me here
Have you done
something illegal?
You killed someone?
Are you angry at me?
If you don't want
to die, be quiet
I see
Come with me
Where?
Just come with me
Hey, he avoided our bullets
Well done, Mummy Lao
Sorry about last time,
I didn't have time to play
Kill him
Don't move!
Put down your weapons!
Now!
Miss Lan!
So you and Khamlao
are working together?
I'm on nobody's side
I belong to me
So why's she coming for us?
I don't know
Miss Lan
Could you put
the gun down?
No way
Miss Lan, you've
got the advantage
I'm down here,
you have the high ground
Could you put
the gun down?
Huh?
No way
I'll give you three seconds
Hey, who's this?
Looks Japanese
Looks pretty stupid
Japanese people must be
more stupid than pigs
He deserves to
burn to death
Turn it on!
Of course, dear
Hah, whose husband is this?
So talented and handsome
Go
Wait
I want a flower
as a gift
Wait for Spring
Go inside
Stay with me!
You want to die? Go!
Go, quickly!
- Was I good?
- Very
You're the best, now go!
- Honey
- Yeah?
Get going
No, if you die,
we die together
Fine
Go to my right
Stand further away
Bit further
- Okay?
- Yeah
Dear friend, please
come with me
I'll take you to
find your love
Come, come,
come with me
Hey, shoot!
You know how to
fire a gun, right?
Do you want to die?
Shoot, now!
Nice one, now you know
how tough we are
Let's go
Damn, I forgot to eat
breakfast this morning
Come on!
Hold it!
I've got a gun
in my belt
I haven't got one
I said MY belt!
Everybody back off!
Or I'll kill him!
He's right! Back off!
Otherwise I'll die!
Get back!
Are you putting on an act?
An act?!
Hey, Surachai!
What's your problem?
You really shot me!
What's my problem?
I'm out of ideas
Don't come closer!
Get back!
Get off the boat!
Get back!
Agh, my little man!
Oh God!
Agh! The pain's killing me!
Now we're just like
a couple of water dogs
Surachai
Can we escape now?
- Surachai?
- Yeah?
We've finished our act
Now call the train
to pick us up
Are you saying your
dad is a train?
Crazy guy
Help...
Mixed-up fella
Miss Lan
These two are
my prisoners
Come again, Mummy Lao?
You've got a nerve
No he hasn't
I've been on this
case for over a year
You want to meddle
in this case?
Hello? Yeah, okay
Darling, I didn't eat
lunch today
Okay, I'll have
chicken, fine
I'll eat the skin
too, no problem
Fine, okay darling
Great, don't worry,
I'll be back later, okay?
Oh, can I have hot
soup too, darling?
Bring him here
Everybody come with me
Talk to your wife
Where are you?
Are you dead?
Where are you?
You must have died
He was going to die
a moment ago
I always wondered how
someone like him could die
If you died...
...the Gods would
not approve
You saw that he isn't
I grabbed a submachine gun
when those guys were after you
I've helped you so much
"I see that other guy's wife,
she's nicer than my wife"
"Why are everyone else's
wives so much prettier?"
I don't like those lyrics!
You're so dishonest!
Hey, look me in the eye!
Ladies and gentlemen
Good evening
Thank you very much
for coming tonight
Tonight I shall
specially commend...
...an especially brave
police officer
Nobody else can
compare to him
We should all learn
something from him
We conduct this
special assembly...
...to commend this especially
brave police officer
He fully deserves
this honour
I also would like to
congratulate him
Now I shall announce
that receiving the award...
...is the special
anti-terror officer...
Officer Khamlao
That's my husband!
My husband!
Here, this is your
new assignment
Inside is a man who...
...has made a significant
contribution to the country
Have a good
read of it
Learn all you
can about him
You can see him later
Good luck
Petchtai Wongkamlao
Ready?
And, action
I'm not signing. Go
You're useless, I'm not signing
Hey, you've cheated me again!
You've cheated me again, right?
You've done this to me
twice, you bastard
I didn't argue last time
This time, you called me
I got 2 lines
and died again
You've made a mistake now
You rely on me
Why'd you do this to me?
I lend my talent
to assist you
And you make a
fool of me, asshole
Two lines then die!
You've made a mistake
You've gone too far now
Come on, we're going
We're leaving!
Don't just sit there!
God damn it
Take the mat with you
That's my mother's treasure
She'd hate for me
to lose it
What're you looking at?
I'm the lead in almost
everything I'm in
Have you seen
my last film?
Have you? Huh?
They specially asked me
to play the lead
Not a supporting
role, you see
Hey! Have you seen it?
A big director wanted me
for the lead too
I made the entire show
It was full of stars
I'm telling you
Since then Sahamongkol Films
wanted me to do stuff
I'm not being in
any of your films
I'm going to work
with a real director
I came at 5am with my
whole family, asshole
Your other actors
came at 3pm
Get that camera
away from me!
I'm serious, you prick
I'm no ordinary person
Don't you know I'm
a big movie star?
I was famous when
you were a kid
The whole country loves
my films, you know
Remember this, I'm not
doing any more of your films
If I'm in a movie of yours,
I'm a son of a bitch
Don't, son! Leave it!
My son's a boxer,
trained by a champion
Don't bother, son,
let's go
You wouldn't know if
you're hitting him or a dog
You're not dead because
I'm letting you off
You'll die sooner or later
I'm telling you, you're
going to get killed
Think about it
You saying nothing?
You chicken
Nothing to say.
Asshole
Get in the car,
we're going
You dare to treat me like this
Guys like you deserve to die
You hear me?!
Look at me! Every time
you ask me to do your films
I get no lines and you kill me
You're not a real man
I hope you crash
your car and die
You get your boss to
come out and talk to me
Get them to speak to me
We're going now
Don't try and
call me up later
I won't listen
I'm not being in
any of your films
Everyone wants me
in their films
You bastard!
Asshole!
Little square-faced prick!
We're going son, ignore them
Never ask me to
make a film again
That's enough, son
You complete asshole
Bastard!
Cut
At last