Bono: Stories of Surrender (2025) Movie Script
1
It is preposterous to think that
others might be as interested
in your own story as you are.
Writing a memoir is a whole other level
of navel-gazing.
But here we are.
Tonight, I'd like to try out
some scenes from Surrender,
me book what I wrote meself.
The first one's a dramatic opening.
Could have been a dramatic closing.
See...
I was born with an eccentric heart.
In one of the chambers of my heart,
where most people have three doors,
I have two.
Two swinging doors, which at Christmas
2016 were coming off their hinges.
The aorta is your main artery,
your lifeline.
My aorta, after years of stress,
has developed a blister.
A blister that's about to burst,
which will put me in the next life faster
than I can say goodbye to this one.
So here I am,
Mount Sinai Hospital, New York City.
Looking down on myself
on the stainless steel.
Hot blood is swirling, spilling,
and making a mess,
which is what blood does
when it's not keeping you alive.
Blood and air. Blood and guts.
Blood and brains are required right now.
The brains and the hands of the surgeon
who is standing over me.
The man is climbing up to my chest,
wielding his blade with the combined
forces of science and butchery.
"Your man has a lot of firepower
in that war chest of his."
"We needed extra-strong wire
to sew him up.
He's probably at 130%
of normal lung capacity for his age."
Air is stamina.
Air is the confidence
to take on big challenges.
Air is not the will to conquer Everest
but the ability to endure the climb.
And here I am now
without it for the first time.
Without breath.
The names we give God. All breath.
Jehovah. Allah. Yeshua.
I'm without air, and I'm terrified.
Because for the first time,
I reach for Yeshua,
and Yeshua is not there.
It's an extraordinary thing
to ask the silence to save you.
To reveal itself to you.
To discover if there's a face
to that silence.
But in this moment,
God seems to have gone missing.
Where am I?
Without air.
Without a prayer.
Without an aria.
How did I get here?
New York, New York!
74th and Broadway,
let the Beacon light our way.
Lights go down, it's dark
The jungle is your head
Can't rule your heart
A feeling's so much stronger
Than a thought
Your eyes are wide
And though your soul
It can't be bought
Your mind can wander
Hello, hello
Hola!
I'm a place called Vertigo
It's everything I wish I didn't know
But you give me something
I can feel
The night is full of holes
As bullets rip the sky
Of ink with gold
They sparkle as the boys
Play rock and roll
They know that they can't dance
At least they know
I can't stand the beats
I'm asking for the cheque
Girl with crimson nails
Got Jesus 'round her neck
Swinging to the music
Swinging to the music
Hello, hello
Hola!
I'm at a place called Vertigo
It's everything I wish I didn't know
But you give me something
I can feel
Feel
All of this, all of this can be yours
All of this, all of this can be yours
All of this, all of this can be yours
Just give me what I want
And no one gets
Hurt
Yeah, thank you. I am still
pretending that this is a book tour.
Oh, yes.
- Hola.
- Hola!
Welcome to my quarterman show.
And might I say,
this feels somewhat transgresivo
to meet you here without my bandmates.
A lot of you know when U2 go on tour,
it can involve some outsize props.
A giant claw,
space stations, mirrorball lemons.
Tonight, I have a table and chairs.
And the Jacknife Lee ensemble
featuring Kate Ellis on the cello
and extraordinariness
and Gemma Doherty on the harp
and other heavenly voices.
Now, turns out
the most extraordinary thing about my life
is the people I'm in relationships with.
I met most of them the same week
I began life with my wife, Ali.
The same week I joined U2.
That's right. Excuse me, darling.
One week during high school,
and my whole life sorted.
Sort of.
Alison Patricia Stewart had faith.
Even more absurdly, faith in me.
This 15-year-old girl not just
suffered my demonic dreams,
she encouraged her boyfriend,
as he told anyone who would listen
that his band were gonna be big
when he felt so, so small.
These are the tall tales
of a short rock star.
Yeah
The more you see the less you know
The less you find out as you grow
I knew much more then than I do now
Neon heart, DayGlo eyes
A city lit by fireflies
They were advertising in the skies
For people like us
And I miss you when you're not around
I'm getting ready to leave the...
building.
Back then,
I was dreaming about this future.
It's so beautiful.
Lately, I've been dreaming about the past.
A past that might
keep me from the present.
Oh, you look so
Beautiful tonight
- Oh
- You look so
Beautiful tonight
I see my mother scolding me.
"You're making a show out of yourself.
You're making a show out of yourself."
But that's what I wanna do with my life.
And the da, rolling his eyes on that one.
My da was a Catholic.
A Catholic who loved
Protestant things like my mother.
When they got married, his own family
didn't turn up at the wedding.
Ireland was an unforgiving place
in those days,
but Bob wasn't very concerned
with the outside world.
My father was a tenor.
A really, really good one.
He could move people with his singing.
And to move people with music,
you first have to be moved by it.
I see my father standing
in the living room of 10 Cedarwood Road
in front of the stereo
with two of my mother's knitting needles,
conducting Beethoven, Mozart, Verdi.
Right now, he's listening to La Traviata.
On stage at Teatro di San Carlo, Sorrento.
He's not precisely aware of the story,
but he feels it,
a father and son at odds,
lovers cast away and returned.
He senses the injustice
of the human heart.
His heart is broken by the music.
I'll spend most of my life
trying to figure out the opera
playing inside my father's head.
He doesn't really notice much else,
least of all me,
age ten, just staring up at him.
Now, if you want your child to grow up
to be a grandstanding stadium singer,
there are a couple of ways to go about it.
You can tell them they're gifted, they--
that the world needs to hear their voice.
This is the Italian method.
Or you can completely ignore them.
This can be the Irish method,
much more effective in my case.
I craved my father's attention.
I wanted him
to think that I had music in me too.
He didn't hear me,
so I sang louder and louder.
In fact, you could say I sang my way
to right in front of you tonight.
Thanks, Da.
My father had some very good reasons
for staying lost in his own world.
I think we're gonna need
some harp music for this next bit.
It's the tragic part.
My mother, Iris, died when I was 14.
Last time I saw her alive was
at her own father's funeral.
This sounds almost too Irish, I know,
but this is my story. I'm stuck with it.
As my grandfather's casket
was being lowered into the ground,
my mother collapsed.
I stood watching as my father and
my older brother carried her to the car,
drove her to the hospital,
where she died of an aneurysm.
It happens.
I felt useless, so I prayed.
My father's response to this tragedy
was to never speak of her again.
With Iris gone, our home at number 10
is becoming its own opera.
I'm locked in a house
where three men
are living in rage and melancholy.
A house where the name
of our grief is never spoken.
Iris.
My mother's name is Iris.
The house became a river of silence
in which I might have drowned
had my big brother, Norman,
not thrown me a lifeline.
He gave me a guitar, his guitar.
A shield. A weapon. A confidant.
Another voice to pray with. Music.
I am jumping around the living room
to the sound of the Ramones'
Leave Home album.
Songs so simple, and yet
they capture how my life feels to me.
Songs so simple
that even I might be able to write one.
It's May 10, 1978.
Today is my 18th birthday.
We don't do cakes.
Instead, the da wants to talk to me
about getting a job.
A job.
I know
that if I could do something I love,
I would never have to work
a day in my life.
But to do that,
you have to be great at something,
and I'm not great at something.
I'm not great at anything.
I'm smart enough
to know I'm not smart enough.
The Ramones are smart enough to play dumb.
Maybe I need to listen
to even more Ramones.
This is the day I'm gonna write
my very first proper rock-and-roll song.
It will become U2's first single.
It will save my life.
It is called "Out of Control."
Monday morning, 18 years of dawning
I say how long
Say how long
It was one dull morning
Woke the world with bawling
I was so sad
They were so glad
Yeah, I had spirit and we had soul
Even then I was out of control
Hey, I can do this.
Stories for
"Drummer seeks musicians to form band."
Stories for boys
Let me introduce you to Larry Mullen Jr.
Now, most people who enter the room
with Larry Mullen find him striking
in the sense that he is a stylish,
good-looking member of the species,
but also in the sense
that he can be strikingly suspicious
of you being in his gaze,
of you being in the room,
and perhaps, on a bad day,
your reason for being anywhere at all.
But when Larry loves people,
he loves them completely,
and I'm grateful to have become
one of the beneficiaries of that love.
Now, David Evans.
Sometimes the name you're given at birth
just isn't your real name, is it?
David Evans was always the Edge.
Always the Edge.
1976, he was 15, a year younger than me.
He was leaning up against the wall
at Mount Temple Comprehensive,
plucking a complicated guitar line.
He was in class with Alison Stewart,
my future wife,
and it was said that
they were the smartest in their year,
that he had a crush on her,
that they might have gone for walks.
Decided right then, I was keeping
an eye on this guitar genius.
Now, let me introduce you to Adam Clayton,
a true believer in rock and roll.
Only one commandment,
four strings are better than six.
He had the style,
the attitude, the ambition,
only problem was he couldn't play,
which wasn't a problem,
as I couldn't sing.
Stories for boys
There's a place I go
That isn't part of me
Like a radio with no controls
In my imagination
There's only static and flow
No yes or no
The stories for boys
Stories for boys
Stories for boys
U2's rehearsal room was a small cottage,
backing onto a graveyard
in north County Dublin.
Same graveyard that my mother was
buried in. We called it the Yellow House.
Today, not for the first time,
I've been screaming at my bandmates.
Forget Ireland bursting
into paramilitary flames. No, no.
On this day, in the winter of 1978,
the most pressing issue
facing all of humanity
is that this band
are not being good enough musicians,
as if I was.
Trying to explain to them how excited I am
about the new Public Image Ltd song.
A great song, I explain, like I know,
can be written
on two strings over two chords.
I'm trying to get Edge to make the sound
of an electric drill into your brain,
like a chainsaw through
the carcass of the past.
Edge is not following the invective.
In fact, Edge is losing patience,
and I'm becoming even more invected,
so invected that I grab
his Gibson Explorer from him
and wrap it around my own neck
to start making
a dangerous squeal of a sound.
"Go on. Go on," says Edge.
"Keep it coming. You're nearly there."
You like it?
"I'm not sure I like it, but it does sound
like a dentist drilling your brain.
Here, let me take it.
Let me see if I can take it somewhere."
In this ego-filled and egoless moment,
a song is forming.
A song that will be called
"I Will Follow."
If you walk away, walk away.
Walk away, walk away.
It's like a rhythm hook.
You know, like a wah-wah pedal.
Walk away, walk away, walk away.
I will follow.
Edge is turning my graffiti
into some Raphael Mother
and fucking Child,
and Larry and Adam
are burning down the gallery.
That's right.
Come on, let's find the thing
that we can do that no one else can do.
Adam, you can do that.
We can do this thing.
Edge, we can do this thing.
Adam, Larry, if you walk away, walk away.
If you walk away, walk away.
If you walk away, walk away.
On the drums, Larry Mullen.
On the bass, Adam Clayton, Edge.
"I Will Follow."
Oh, man. Sorry about that,
Edge, Larry, Adam.
What a complete fucking eejit I was.
I'm working on it though.
Truth is you're...
you're really great.
But what no one in that rehearsal room,
including me, had thought about
was Iris Hewson resting...
not a hundred yards
from where we were playing.
In all the time we rehearsed
in the Yellow House,
I never thought about her.
Never once visited her grave.
It wasn't like she was dead.
It was worse.
We disappeared her,
but Iris would not be denied.
No, not in the music.
Iris standing in the hall.
She tells me I can do it all.
Don't fear the world
it isn't there.
Iris playing on the strand.
She buries the boy
beneath the sand.
Iris says that I will be
the death of her.
But it wasn't fucking me.
Let me tell you something
about the geometry
and the geography of the Irish mind.
The Irish mind is best understood
as being like an Irish pub.
You go to forget, but in the end,
you're drowning in memories,
and salt-and-vinegar crisps...
and black stuff.
Finnegan's pub is not just my local,
it is its own country
with its own laws and customs.
It is the domain of Dan Finnegan
and his sons.
It's a constitutional monarchy,
with Dan head of state
and his sons running the government.
There is a code, a strictness,
a reverence for tradition.
Indeed, a respect for opera
and for the kind of man who might know
how to wear tweed,
like my father, Bob.
Now, within the nation of Finnegan's--
Like my father, Bob.
Now, within the nation of Finnegan's
there is a small Italian consulate,
the Sorrento Lounge
which is where, on a Sunday,
I would meet my father for a drink.
I would order a pint.
He, the Catholic, would order Black Bush,
a Protestant whiskey.
Already a subtle signal that
Brendan Robert Hewson was his own man
and one with
a great opening line every single time.
"Anything strange or startling?"
Now, by strange or startling,
he was not interested in the riotous
life of a rock-and-roll singer.
Mostly we sat in silence.
I try to impress him.
How about Luciano Pavarotti
calling the house?
You consider that strange or startling?
"Startling, that's obvious.
Strange? Yeah. Why would
a great tenor be calling you? No offense."
None taken. Actually,
he's looking for a song.
"Did he dial the wrong number?"
No. He wants me,
with a little help from Edge,
to write him a song. Yeah.
Not Gilbert and Sullivan
or Rodgers and Hammerstein.
Me, B-O-N-O, Paul.
"You? A baritone who thinks he's a tenor?"
Me.
Pavarotti wants me to write him a song.
Now who's the fucking eejit?
"He is."
Gloria
In te domine
Gloria
Exultate
Mount Temple Comprehensive School
was a nondenominational,
coeducational experiment.
In a country that was close
to civil war along sectarian lines,
we had Catholics and Protestants
in the same class.
You were encouraged to be yourself,
to be creative, to wear your own clothes,
and there were girls.
Also, wearing their own clothes.
Ironically,
amid this freedom from religion,
we found ourselves getting religion.
We got close to a group
of Christian radicals called "Shalom."
They figured all the established churches
had not just gotten away from Jesus,
but they had got in the way of Jesus.
As U2 started to get popular,
our first-century Christian brethren began
suggesting that our music was frivolous
and self-flattering.
In other words, fun.
We asked the question, "Can we not
change the world and have fun?"
"No. You must choose between
this world and the next."
Eventually, it became too much for us,
particularly Edge.
He couldn't live with the tension
between being a disciple of Jesus
and an apostle of Joey Ramone.
He eventually decided to leave the band.
I felt conflicted too.
I had no interest
in carrying on in U2 without Edge.
Larry sympathized with us both.
Adam did not.
One album and done, like the Sex Pistols.
Now we just had to tell our manager.
Have I told you about Paul McGuinness?
Paul McGuinness,
the Winston Churchill of Rock.
I mean, he went to war for U2.
He had just taken us
once around the world,
so we really,
really weren't looking forward
to telling him that we were breaking up
his baby band just as they hit puberty.
But he heard us out.
There was a pause,
some fidgeting, a slap on the face. His.
And then came,
"Am I to gather from this
that you've been talking to God?
Well, maybe the next time you ring God,
you might ask him, or her,
if it's okay for your representative
on Earth-- i.e., me--
to renege on a legal contract.
Do you think God would have you break
a legal contract, is my question.
A contract that I have signed
on your behalf to go on tour.
What sort of a God is that?"
Hell of a negotiator, Paul McGuinness.
It wouldn't be the first time
we'd put words in God's mouth.
The tour would indeed go ahead.
And I was so heightened,
I convinced
my 21-year-old girlfriend to get married.
Unbelievably, she said yes.
Now, Edge, he had some fun too,
but Edge was still not sure he wanted
to be in a business of inflamed egos
and pumped-up personalities.
I asked him,
would he make an exception for me?
Arpeggiating his way out of a corner,
Edge began working on
the sketch of a song.
Well, not just a song, a map.
A way forward for U2 in the world.
"Sunday, Bloody Sunday"
was religious art meets The Clash.
But its ambition was
to contrast the original Easter Sunday
with the massacre of 14 unarmed protesters
in the city of Derry.
While Edge was in his flat in Dublin,
I was with my bride in Jamaica,
writing lyrics for these new songs,
explaining to Ali why our honeymoon album
was gonna be called War.
I can't believe the news today
I can't close my eyes, make it go away
How long
How long must we sing this song?
How long, how long?
Tonight
We can be as one
Tonight, tonight
Broken bottles under children's feet
Bodies strewn across
The dead-end street
I won't heed the battle call
Puts my back up
My back up against the wall
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday
- Sunday
- Bloody Sunday
Here she comes
Here she comes
Here she comes, yeah
Here she
Comes
I'm here at the murder scene
The beginning of a fiction
Facts will not complete
Why so many mothers cry
Is religion now the enemy
Of the Holy Spirit guide?
The real battle yet begun
Where is the victory Jesus
Won?
Something to know about performers:
in pursuit of truth, we are capable
of more untruth than most.
Cheers.
Show business.
Back in the Sorrento Lounge,
the usual opening line from the da.
"Anything strange or startling?"
Everything is strange and startling.
"Oh, you're right there.
I took a taxi out here today.
The driver saw where I was going
and asked if I knew Bono."
"I said, 'I do not. Do you?'"
"Sure, we all know Bono out here.
Sure. Isn't he hounded by the Pavarotti?"
"Hounded. Hounded by the Pavarotti.
I never heard that one. Paparazzi, is it?"
Funny you should say that.
The great "Paparazzi" himself
has been calling the house again.
This time, he wants us to perform with him
in his hometown of Modena
to raise money for refugees
from the war in Bosnia.
I mean, how do you say no to that?
"For once,
would you just do what you're told?"
I want to do what I'm told.
But I'm also being told by the band
to stop getting distracted
so we can finish a U2 album,
rather than ones for Pavarotti.
Let me explain
something about being in this band
that even my da doesn't understand.
The popular perception
is that I am the leader of U2. I wish.
I voted that U2
should be an actual democracy.
So, now I'm in a band
with three other people,
each of whom
thinks he is the leader of U2.
So, my wanting to do something
does not necessarily mean
they are wanting to do something.
Anyway, I'm telling this to the da.
And, Da, the whole band was
in the studio in Hanover Quay
when the phone rings, you know.
"Bono, Bono, Bono. How are you?
Are you weary from the mountaintop?
Have you come down the mountaintop
with the tablets of rock and roll?"
The new album. Yeah, we're late as always.
"You told me this,
and dearest Bono,
that is why I am here to help."
I'm sorry? You're in Dublin?
"I am this very minute
in the Irish customs and exercise.
I have told them I have nothing to declare
but my love of Bono, Edge,
James and Larry."
"It is my sole purpose in this moment
to be of service to these great men."
Oh, maestro, they are great men
and this is a great honor,
but it's not a great moment.
"They don't like me?"
It's worse. They don't care.
I mean,
these are the children of punk rock.
They will likely suspect
that you are just here
to twist their arm into going to Modena.
"This pains me.
I came only in genuflection
and cordiality,
and now you question my motivation."
No. No, maestro. It's not like that.
"Perfetto. I am on my way."
Fuck. Fuck.
I go to Edge, Adam and Larry,
I say, "Look, he's the greatest singer
in the history of the world.
It's a huge honor he's coming to see us
in the next half an hour."
"The next half an hour? He might be coming
to see you," says Larry.
"He's not coming to see us."
"This is some kind of stunt," says Adam.
"He'd likely show up with a photographer,
you know? We will not be coerced."
What are you going to do? Hide?
"No, we're not gonna hide," says Edge.
"Actually,"
say Adam and Larry in perfect unison,
"that is exactly what we're gonna do.
We are going to hide."
Sorry?
And with that, two grown men hide
from Luciano Pavarotti.
The buzzer rings...
and there he stands. Oh, my God.
The greatest singer in the history
of the wor--
With a film crew.
Seven or eight excited Italians.
One of them's crying.
"Bono, Bono, Bono. Edge, Edge. Bono, Edge.
Where are James and Larry?"
"These are my friends from Rai Uno.
They have a satellite dish
in case we decide
to announce the show in Modena.
I mean, while we're all together."
"In what corner of the universe
is the great Pavarotti
knocking on your door
and you are not letting him in?
Has the world gone bloody mad?"
Da, in my corner
of the universe, we very much let him in.
In Edge's corner too.
In fact, we're off to be part
of Pavarotti & Friends
to support War Child in Modena.
Yes.
Adam and Larry are missing
in action on this one,
but would you like to go?
"Really?
Okay,
I suppose you better have
at least one real tenor on your side."
And then...
The greatest voice
in the history of the world.
But the miracle in Modena
was the transformation
of Brendan Robert Hewson,
my Irish Catholic father,
not by Luciano Pavarotti,
but by the woman on his arm,
Diana, Princess of Wales.
For those of you who don't know,
Edge's family were Welsh,
so they were thrilled
to meet the Princess of Wales.
Edge dared me to ask the da, so I did.
Da, you fancy meeting Lady Di?
The Evans are wondering.
"What? Why would I want to meet
a member of the royal family?
I mean, that's like asking me, do I want
to meet the winner of the lotto?"
Got it. I know. Just asking.
The next bit you just couldn't make up.
The da is in our trailer,
not eating from Pavarotti's deli tray
of exotic Italian meats
with names that none of us can pronounce.
And when he turns around...
she's right there.
Approaching 6 feet tall in her heels,
a vision in ivory.
Diana approached the da
as if in slow motion.
"How do you do?"
The da melted.
The shock of a close encounter
with the British royal family
quickly became a teenage crush.
"Very well. Thank you for asking.
Very pleased to meet you."
800 years of oppression,
disappearing in eight seconds.
If you've ever wondered about
the usefulness of the royals--
which a lot of Irish people have--
I would point to this incident.
Eight centuries of oppression,
one princess and we're even. Yes.
When we get home,
the da is still talking
about Princess Diana,
but he's modulating.
"I must say,
she does great things for charity,
but it's not charity
that you're on about, is it?
It's justice, isn't it?
I mean, you wouldn't need charity
if the world was just."
Is the son starting to make sense
to the father?
"I wouldn't go that far,
but I heard
your song 'Pride' on the radio,
and I might have felt some."
Well, you know, it was that song
that got us an invitation to Live Aid.
Bob Geldof said that when he heard it,
he could forgive me the mullet.
When U2 walked on stage at Live Aid,
we found ourselves looking out at a sea
of white flags of surrender,
swelling in the wind, even then,
and a generous spirit
moving through the crowd.
Felt like our punk prayers
were coming of age,
you know?
Prayers of peace.
Because to be hungry
is to be at war with yourself.
To be at war with the very ground
that you walk on.
That's right.
One man comes in the name of love
One man to come and go
One man comes he to justify
One man to overthrow
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
One man caught on a barbed-wire fence
One man he resist
One boy washed up on an empty beach
One boy who never will be kissed
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
Oh, yeah!
Wembley Stadium, London.
A thought is being broadcast
all over the world.
What if we were the world?
What if we could feed the world?
What else?
What else could be done
in the name of love? What else?
I still ask myself that question,
and I still wanna know the answer.
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
Live Aid
and all its spin-offs raised $250 million.
But African countries were paying that sum
to you and me every week
for old loans we shoved down
their throats during the Cold War.
"Every fucking week,"
as Bob Geldof would say.
I learned a big lesson from that.
Injustice is often disguised as bad luck.
As front man with U2,
I realized that if U2
was gonna be
writing big songs about big subjects,
I needed a bigger brain.
A software update.
Rather than go back to school--
You don't have to laugh actually.
It's all good.
I went to Africa with the missus.
Ali and I were working in this orphanage
in Ajebar, South Wollo, Ethiopia.
It's the autumn of 1985.
These rural people are struggling
to survive without food and water.
Their world has turned in on them.
The very land they live off
has refused them entry.
Tsegaye: "I am the source, I am the Nile,
I am the African, I am the beginning!
I am the song, I am the singing
I am the Ethiopia that 'stretches
her hand in supplication to God'
O Nile, you are the eloquence
that rings the Ethiopian bell
across the deaf world!"
Because buried
in this ground are great riches.
But a great famine has turned
this great nation upside down.
Same country is about to turn
our tiny lives right side up.
We will never be the same again
and we won't want to be.
In this parched place,
we learn lessons from a landscape
and a people that we can never forget.
"Poverty is not natural.
It is man-made and can be overcome
by the actions of women and men."
Most likely women, who better understand
that where you live
should not decide whether you live.
Are we right?
I wanna run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
Show me a place
High on the desert plain
Where the streets have no name
I wanted to feel
Sunlight on my face
But I need some shade and shelter
In this waterless place
Each desert rose
Is a prayer for rain
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
We're still building
And burning down love
We're burning down love
We can get through the fire
If I go with you
There's no other way through
It was hard for Ali and me
to come back from Ethiopia.
A large part of us is still there, actually.
After The Joshua Tree,
U2 were getting a bit famous.
A bit mainstream.
We were either gonna be
embarrassed about that or not.
Fame is currency,
and we wanted to use what you gave us
to do more
than get a seat at a fancy restaurant.
Which, by the way,
is not to be sniffed at.
I joined some new bands.
Drop the Debt, RED, the ONE Campaign,
fighting extreme poverty.
Really,
the ONE Campaign just had one idea.
You don't have to agree
with someone on everything
if the one thing you do agree on
is important enough.
This led to meetings with people who held
the purse strings for the world's poor.
There are such people.
They're called the government.
They're called the IMF, the World Bank.
This might be a moment
to break the fourth wall...
Really?
...and ask some hard questions
about my motivations.
Okay, there's been a mistake
in the teleprompter. EHP.
Am I trying to cover up my guilt
for having such a lavish lifestyle?
Yes, my lifestyle is lavish.
I am an overpaid, overregarded,
overrewarded, overfed rock-and-roll star.
Am I a hypocrite? Yes.
But not on this front.
On a lot of other fronts.
But I will say, hypocrites get a bad rap.
I mean, hypocrites do the right thing
at least some of the time.
But in the end...
what does it matter?
I mean, really, who cares?
Motives don't matter.
Outcomes matter. Lives matter.
Human potential matters. Justice matters.
You wouldn't need charity
if the world was just, as the da says.
But it's not, so get the check.
Get the check.
Lover, I'm off the streets
Gonna go where the bright lights
Big city meet
With a red guitar, on fire
Desire
She's the candle burning in my room
I'm like the needle, needle and spoon
Over the counter, with a shotgun
Pretty soon, everybody got one
In a fever when I'm beside her
Desire
Desire
Burning
Burning, baby
Burning with love
She's the dollars, she's my protection
She is the promise
In the year of election
Oh, sister, can't let you go
I'm like a preacher stealing hearts
At a traveling show
For love or money, money
Love or money, money
Love or money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money, money
And the fever, I can't deny her
Desire
Desire
And mark and yen to the pound
To the pound, to the pound
And all that makes the world go round
The world go round
Makes the world go round
Money makes the world go round
Really?
All right,
they're gonna change the cameras,
and I'm gonna have a very strong drink...
And we'll be right back.
We got four lenses,
- and we're looking for the hero lens.
- Okay.
Right. The most beautiful.
We would like you to stand there.
- I would love to.
- And we'll micro direct you.
Focus on the near eye.
Beautiful. We're never gonna go tighter
than that, are we?
I don't think so.
I think that'd be a bit,
difficult to perform
with those limitations.
Okay, so turn around, buddy.
Yeah. No, that's pretty good. He sort of
naturally knows what to do, right?
It's the third act.
All right, that's good.
The confessional.
All this saving the world,
is it really service,
duty, righteous anger,
or is it just a childlike desire
to be at the center of the action?
The center of attention.
Which begs the question,
can you have a child and remain a child?
Time to grow up.
Can't fuck this up.
Desire and virtue
is a whole dance,
and no one does it better than my missus.
"Desire" went to number one in the charts.
I don't know if there's a connection,
but we were so excited
we had our first baby.
I didn't know how to feel.
I didn't know
if I'd know how to be a father.
Didn't know if I could be a father
because I didn't think
I had been much of a son.
I said in the beginning
that Alison Stewart had faith.
I mean, this woman part wrote
the story that you're listening to.
When Ali and I married,
we moved out of our family homes.
That's how young we were.
We moved into an old stone tower
on the Irish coast,
the lighthouse.
Ali will let her soul be searched,
but only if you arrive
at her fort defenseless,
have you half a chance at challenging
her own almost unbroachable defenses,
it's the only way over that drawbridge.
Wasn't two years into our marriage,
and I could see my wife
in prolonged moments
returning to the vast silence
that she holds inside herself.
She was suggesting that
even when I was home, I wasn't home.
Our weekly walks along the promenade
tinged with melancholy,
as the waves try to make up their mind
whether they're leaving or staying.
Leaving or staying.
See the stone set in your eyes
Am I such a thorn in your side?
Should I wait for you?
There's a selfishness implicit
in the desire to be great at something.
Sleight of hand and a twist of fate
On a bed of nails you make me wait
You're trying to prove yourself,
but to who?
Without you
With or without you
Alison Stewart saw to me...
With or without you
...by seeing through me.
Through the storm we reached the shore
Before I had anything...
You give it all but I want more
...before I had my name...
And I'm greedy
...she knew what I had...
For you
...and hadn't.
With or without you
Concentration.
With or without you
You can't be great at anything...
I can't live
...without an incredible concentration.
With or without you
But a lot of it's just dysfunction.
You give yourself away
A sort of blindness...
And you give yourself away
...where you might not see
the person right next to you.
You might want an audience...
And you give yourself away
more than you want a family.
My hands are tied
You might not want to give up...
My body bruised, you got me with
...the emptiness...
Nothing to win
...that gave you everything.
And nothing left to lose
With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
I called my book Surrender
because I knew this is a word
I needed to understand better,
that it was the antidote
to whatever condition
I was suffering from.
And it didn't come natural to me.
One Sunday in 1999,
I'm back in the Sorrento Lounge
with the da,
and for the first time ever,
decide I'll ambush him
with his own question.
Just throw it at him.
Anything strange or startling, Da?
"I have cancer.
I'm in the departure lounge as it were.
You won't be putting up
with my unfunny jokes much longer."
Huge boulders fall on your head,
just like that,
from some imaginary mountain.
I thought I was getting to know him
that there'd be more time.
How Bob Hewson of you.
Just when I thought I was
finally getting to know you,
that you might give up some answers,
you give me the slip.
Beaumont Hospital...
Dublin, the summer of 2001.
I see my father in a hospital bed.
This time it's him
who's running out of air.
And I see myself lying next to him
on a mattress on the floor.
He's breathing,
but his breathing's getting shallower,
like the grave in his chest.
He shouts my name,
confusing me with my brother
and the other way around.
"Paul, Norman. Paul, Norman. Paul."
I jump up, call the nurse.
"Are you okay, Bob?"
she whispers in his ear.
His tenor has now become short,
tinny breaths.
An S after every exhalation.
"Yes. Get me out of here.
Get me out of here. I wanna go home. Yes.
Yes, I wanna go home. Yes."
I said, "It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Are you okay?"
Listen.
Silence.
I put my ear close to his mouth.
Silence.
Silence followed by,
"Fuck off."
There's something perfectly imperfect
about my da's exit from my life.
I don't believe he was telling me
or the very vigilant
night nurse to fuck off,
though I'm not ruling that out.
I'd like to think
he was addressing the burdens that
had been on his back for most of his life.
I have a feeling...
they're my inheritance,
but I believe
I have a choice in the matter.
And there was kindness too.
I think he believed that to dream
was to be disappointed,
and he didn't want that for me.
This is a-- This is--
This is when you realize
your father is your friend.
And you know, the journey of--
you know, from father to friend
is the only one to be on really,
if you're a father, and I am.
And I sort of made friends with my father
after he passed,
which is a bit of a mistake.
To imagine the story from his perspective
is humbling, you know.
He loses his wife.
He's left with his two kids,
and one of them
is charging in his direction,
you know, coming for him guns blazing.
And one of them is gonna take him out
by achieving all the ambitions
he was afraid to have.
He told me in those final days,
when accepting his cancers,
that he'd lost his faith.
And he also told me
that I should never lose mine.
That it was the most
interesting thing about me.
But it did happen, where I reached out...
Yeshua.
...and that thing that I have
- held so tightly...
- Yeshua.
...wasn't there. It was the most
terrifying moment of my life.
Yeshua.
Hold me close
Hold me close and don't let
Hold me close and don't let me go
Hold me close
Like I'm someone that you might know
The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town
You're out of luck
The reason that you had to care
Traffic is stuck
You're not moving anywhere
You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace
It's a beautiful day
The sky falls
You feel like it's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
You're on the road
But you got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination
You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day
Yeah, yeah
Touch me now
Take me to that other place
Teach me, love
I know I'm not a hopeless case
The dead are always with us
Won't leave us alone
Blowing through our memories
Rattling their bones
The dead are always with us
There's more of them than us
The valley of dry bones, dust to dust
Parched and abandoned
Filled with doubt
But after the flood
All the colors came out
All the colors came out
It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day
Yeah, yeah
Touch me now
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case
What you don't have
You don't need it now
What you don't know
You can feel it somehow
What you don't have
You don't need it now
Don't need it now
I have a very unscientific theory
that when you lose someone you love,
they bequeath you something.
A gift.
When I lost my mother...
well...
I got you to fill that hole.
When I lost my father,
I found my voice started to change,
and I couldn't help thinking
that the baritone
who thought he was a tenor
actually became one.
I don't know how.
All kinds of reasons.
Might have something to do
with this word forgiveness.
I don't know if I forgave my father,
or my father forgave me.
'Cause I was born with my fists up.
Surrender does not come easy to me.
To bow down to my bandmates,
to my wife, to my Maker,
is a struggle.
I have faith enough to hope
and hope enough to love.
And this music is how I practice that.
And my father on Earth, he gave me that.
And he left me with one
of his favorite melodies to haunt me.
Only realized recently,
the title has the same name
as our local watering hole,
the Sorrento Lounge.
"Come Back to Sorrento."
And it was this melody.
And I will.
One, two, three, four.
Baby's crying 'cause it's born to sing
Singers cry about everything
Still in the playground
Falling off the swing
But you know that I know
I just can't
remember the next bit.
What's the next bit of the melody?
Keep going. That's great.
One, two, three.
It is what it is
It's not what it seems
This screwed-up stuff
Is the stuff of dreams
I got just enough low self-esteem
To get me where I want to go
Another verse.
The showman gives you
Front row to his heart
The showman prays
His heartache will chart
Making a spectacle of falling apart
Is just the start of the show
Oh, you don't care
But you know I'm there
You think you look so good
A little more better
Look so good
A little more, little more
You think you look so good
That's what's gonna get you
Look so good
A to G.
I'll be chasing the sunlight
That's why I'm staying up all night
I lie for a living, I love to let on
But you make it true
When you sing along
You think you look so good
A little more better
Look so good
A little more, little more
You think you look so good
That's what's gonna get you
Look so good
Keeps-- Keep chorus going.
Look so good
A little more better
You think you look so good
A little more, little more
You think you look so good
That's what's gonna get you
Look so good
A little more, little more
You think you look so good
A little more, little more
Look so good
A little more, little more
- Happy?
- Back to work.
Okay.
- That was great.
- I loved it.
It is preposterous to think that
others might be as interested
in your own story as you are.
Writing a memoir is a whole other level
of navel-gazing.
But here we are.
Tonight, I'd like to try out
some scenes from Surrender,
me book what I wrote meself.
The first one's a dramatic opening.
Could have been a dramatic closing.
See...
I was born with an eccentric heart.
In one of the chambers of my heart,
where most people have three doors,
I have two.
Two swinging doors, which at Christmas
2016 were coming off their hinges.
The aorta is your main artery,
your lifeline.
My aorta, after years of stress,
has developed a blister.
A blister that's about to burst,
which will put me in the next life faster
than I can say goodbye to this one.
So here I am,
Mount Sinai Hospital, New York City.
Looking down on myself
on the stainless steel.
Hot blood is swirling, spilling,
and making a mess,
which is what blood does
when it's not keeping you alive.
Blood and air. Blood and guts.
Blood and brains are required right now.
The brains and the hands of the surgeon
who is standing over me.
The man is climbing up to my chest,
wielding his blade with the combined
forces of science and butchery.
"Your man has a lot of firepower
in that war chest of his."
"We needed extra-strong wire
to sew him up.
He's probably at 130%
of normal lung capacity for his age."
Air is stamina.
Air is the confidence
to take on big challenges.
Air is not the will to conquer Everest
but the ability to endure the climb.
And here I am now
without it for the first time.
Without breath.
The names we give God. All breath.
Jehovah. Allah. Yeshua.
I'm without air, and I'm terrified.
Because for the first time,
I reach for Yeshua,
and Yeshua is not there.
It's an extraordinary thing
to ask the silence to save you.
To reveal itself to you.
To discover if there's a face
to that silence.
But in this moment,
God seems to have gone missing.
Where am I?
Without air.
Without a prayer.
Without an aria.
How did I get here?
New York, New York!
74th and Broadway,
let the Beacon light our way.
Lights go down, it's dark
The jungle is your head
Can't rule your heart
A feeling's so much stronger
Than a thought
Your eyes are wide
And though your soul
It can't be bought
Your mind can wander
Hello, hello
Hola!
I'm a place called Vertigo
It's everything I wish I didn't know
But you give me something
I can feel
The night is full of holes
As bullets rip the sky
Of ink with gold
They sparkle as the boys
Play rock and roll
They know that they can't dance
At least they know
I can't stand the beats
I'm asking for the cheque
Girl with crimson nails
Got Jesus 'round her neck
Swinging to the music
Swinging to the music
Hello, hello
Hola!
I'm at a place called Vertigo
It's everything I wish I didn't know
But you give me something
I can feel
Feel
All of this, all of this can be yours
All of this, all of this can be yours
All of this, all of this can be yours
Just give me what I want
And no one gets
Hurt
Yeah, thank you. I am still
pretending that this is a book tour.
Oh, yes.
- Hola.
- Hola!
Welcome to my quarterman show.
And might I say,
this feels somewhat transgresivo
to meet you here without my bandmates.
A lot of you know when U2 go on tour,
it can involve some outsize props.
A giant claw,
space stations, mirrorball lemons.
Tonight, I have a table and chairs.
And the Jacknife Lee ensemble
featuring Kate Ellis on the cello
and extraordinariness
and Gemma Doherty on the harp
and other heavenly voices.
Now, turns out
the most extraordinary thing about my life
is the people I'm in relationships with.
I met most of them the same week
I began life with my wife, Ali.
The same week I joined U2.
That's right. Excuse me, darling.
One week during high school,
and my whole life sorted.
Sort of.
Alison Patricia Stewart had faith.
Even more absurdly, faith in me.
This 15-year-old girl not just
suffered my demonic dreams,
she encouraged her boyfriend,
as he told anyone who would listen
that his band were gonna be big
when he felt so, so small.
These are the tall tales
of a short rock star.
Yeah
The more you see the less you know
The less you find out as you grow
I knew much more then than I do now
Neon heart, DayGlo eyes
A city lit by fireflies
They were advertising in the skies
For people like us
And I miss you when you're not around
I'm getting ready to leave the...
building.
Back then,
I was dreaming about this future.
It's so beautiful.
Lately, I've been dreaming about the past.
A past that might
keep me from the present.
Oh, you look so
Beautiful tonight
- Oh
- You look so
Beautiful tonight
I see my mother scolding me.
"You're making a show out of yourself.
You're making a show out of yourself."
But that's what I wanna do with my life.
And the da, rolling his eyes on that one.
My da was a Catholic.
A Catholic who loved
Protestant things like my mother.
When they got married, his own family
didn't turn up at the wedding.
Ireland was an unforgiving place
in those days,
but Bob wasn't very concerned
with the outside world.
My father was a tenor.
A really, really good one.
He could move people with his singing.
And to move people with music,
you first have to be moved by it.
I see my father standing
in the living room of 10 Cedarwood Road
in front of the stereo
with two of my mother's knitting needles,
conducting Beethoven, Mozart, Verdi.
Right now, he's listening to La Traviata.
On stage at Teatro di San Carlo, Sorrento.
He's not precisely aware of the story,
but he feels it,
a father and son at odds,
lovers cast away and returned.
He senses the injustice
of the human heart.
His heart is broken by the music.
I'll spend most of my life
trying to figure out the opera
playing inside my father's head.
He doesn't really notice much else,
least of all me,
age ten, just staring up at him.
Now, if you want your child to grow up
to be a grandstanding stadium singer,
there are a couple of ways to go about it.
You can tell them they're gifted, they--
that the world needs to hear their voice.
This is the Italian method.
Or you can completely ignore them.
This can be the Irish method,
much more effective in my case.
I craved my father's attention.
I wanted him
to think that I had music in me too.
He didn't hear me,
so I sang louder and louder.
In fact, you could say I sang my way
to right in front of you tonight.
Thanks, Da.
My father had some very good reasons
for staying lost in his own world.
I think we're gonna need
some harp music for this next bit.
It's the tragic part.
My mother, Iris, died when I was 14.
Last time I saw her alive was
at her own father's funeral.
This sounds almost too Irish, I know,
but this is my story. I'm stuck with it.
As my grandfather's casket
was being lowered into the ground,
my mother collapsed.
I stood watching as my father and
my older brother carried her to the car,
drove her to the hospital,
where she died of an aneurysm.
It happens.
I felt useless, so I prayed.
My father's response to this tragedy
was to never speak of her again.
With Iris gone, our home at number 10
is becoming its own opera.
I'm locked in a house
where three men
are living in rage and melancholy.
A house where the name
of our grief is never spoken.
Iris.
My mother's name is Iris.
The house became a river of silence
in which I might have drowned
had my big brother, Norman,
not thrown me a lifeline.
He gave me a guitar, his guitar.
A shield. A weapon. A confidant.
Another voice to pray with. Music.
I am jumping around the living room
to the sound of the Ramones'
Leave Home album.
Songs so simple, and yet
they capture how my life feels to me.
Songs so simple
that even I might be able to write one.
It's May 10, 1978.
Today is my 18th birthday.
We don't do cakes.
Instead, the da wants to talk to me
about getting a job.
A job.
I know
that if I could do something I love,
I would never have to work
a day in my life.
But to do that,
you have to be great at something,
and I'm not great at something.
I'm not great at anything.
I'm smart enough
to know I'm not smart enough.
The Ramones are smart enough to play dumb.
Maybe I need to listen
to even more Ramones.
This is the day I'm gonna write
my very first proper rock-and-roll song.
It will become U2's first single.
It will save my life.
It is called "Out of Control."
Monday morning, 18 years of dawning
I say how long
Say how long
It was one dull morning
Woke the world with bawling
I was so sad
They were so glad
Yeah, I had spirit and we had soul
Even then I was out of control
Hey, I can do this.
Stories for
"Drummer seeks musicians to form band."
Stories for boys
Let me introduce you to Larry Mullen Jr.
Now, most people who enter the room
with Larry Mullen find him striking
in the sense that he is a stylish,
good-looking member of the species,
but also in the sense
that he can be strikingly suspicious
of you being in his gaze,
of you being in the room,
and perhaps, on a bad day,
your reason for being anywhere at all.
But when Larry loves people,
he loves them completely,
and I'm grateful to have become
one of the beneficiaries of that love.
Now, David Evans.
Sometimes the name you're given at birth
just isn't your real name, is it?
David Evans was always the Edge.
Always the Edge.
1976, he was 15, a year younger than me.
He was leaning up against the wall
at Mount Temple Comprehensive,
plucking a complicated guitar line.
He was in class with Alison Stewart,
my future wife,
and it was said that
they were the smartest in their year,
that he had a crush on her,
that they might have gone for walks.
Decided right then, I was keeping
an eye on this guitar genius.
Now, let me introduce you to Adam Clayton,
a true believer in rock and roll.
Only one commandment,
four strings are better than six.
He had the style,
the attitude, the ambition,
only problem was he couldn't play,
which wasn't a problem,
as I couldn't sing.
Stories for boys
There's a place I go
That isn't part of me
Like a radio with no controls
In my imagination
There's only static and flow
No yes or no
The stories for boys
Stories for boys
Stories for boys
U2's rehearsal room was a small cottage,
backing onto a graveyard
in north County Dublin.
Same graveyard that my mother was
buried in. We called it the Yellow House.
Today, not for the first time,
I've been screaming at my bandmates.
Forget Ireland bursting
into paramilitary flames. No, no.
On this day, in the winter of 1978,
the most pressing issue
facing all of humanity
is that this band
are not being good enough musicians,
as if I was.
Trying to explain to them how excited I am
about the new Public Image Ltd song.
A great song, I explain, like I know,
can be written
on two strings over two chords.
I'm trying to get Edge to make the sound
of an electric drill into your brain,
like a chainsaw through
the carcass of the past.
Edge is not following the invective.
In fact, Edge is losing patience,
and I'm becoming even more invected,
so invected that I grab
his Gibson Explorer from him
and wrap it around my own neck
to start making
a dangerous squeal of a sound.
"Go on. Go on," says Edge.
"Keep it coming. You're nearly there."
You like it?
"I'm not sure I like it, but it does sound
like a dentist drilling your brain.
Here, let me take it.
Let me see if I can take it somewhere."
In this ego-filled and egoless moment,
a song is forming.
A song that will be called
"I Will Follow."
If you walk away, walk away.
Walk away, walk away.
It's like a rhythm hook.
You know, like a wah-wah pedal.
Walk away, walk away, walk away.
I will follow.
Edge is turning my graffiti
into some Raphael Mother
and fucking Child,
and Larry and Adam
are burning down the gallery.
That's right.
Come on, let's find the thing
that we can do that no one else can do.
Adam, you can do that.
We can do this thing.
Edge, we can do this thing.
Adam, Larry, if you walk away, walk away.
If you walk away, walk away.
If you walk away, walk away.
On the drums, Larry Mullen.
On the bass, Adam Clayton, Edge.
"I Will Follow."
Oh, man. Sorry about that,
Edge, Larry, Adam.
What a complete fucking eejit I was.
I'm working on it though.
Truth is you're...
you're really great.
But what no one in that rehearsal room,
including me, had thought about
was Iris Hewson resting...
not a hundred yards
from where we were playing.
In all the time we rehearsed
in the Yellow House,
I never thought about her.
Never once visited her grave.
It wasn't like she was dead.
It was worse.
We disappeared her,
but Iris would not be denied.
No, not in the music.
Iris standing in the hall.
She tells me I can do it all.
Don't fear the world
it isn't there.
Iris playing on the strand.
She buries the boy
beneath the sand.
Iris says that I will be
the death of her.
But it wasn't fucking me.
Let me tell you something
about the geometry
and the geography of the Irish mind.
The Irish mind is best understood
as being like an Irish pub.
You go to forget, but in the end,
you're drowning in memories,
and salt-and-vinegar crisps...
and black stuff.
Finnegan's pub is not just my local,
it is its own country
with its own laws and customs.
It is the domain of Dan Finnegan
and his sons.
It's a constitutional monarchy,
with Dan head of state
and his sons running the government.
There is a code, a strictness,
a reverence for tradition.
Indeed, a respect for opera
and for the kind of man who might know
how to wear tweed,
like my father, Bob.
Now, within the nation of Finnegan's--
Like my father, Bob.
Now, within the nation of Finnegan's
there is a small Italian consulate,
the Sorrento Lounge
which is where, on a Sunday,
I would meet my father for a drink.
I would order a pint.
He, the Catholic, would order Black Bush,
a Protestant whiskey.
Already a subtle signal that
Brendan Robert Hewson was his own man
and one with
a great opening line every single time.
"Anything strange or startling?"
Now, by strange or startling,
he was not interested in the riotous
life of a rock-and-roll singer.
Mostly we sat in silence.
I try to impress him.
How about Luciano Pavarotti
calling the house?
You consider that strange or startling?
"Startling, that's obvious.
Strange? Yeah. Why would
a great tenor be calling you? No offense."
None taken. Actually,
he's looking for a song.
"Did he dial the wrong number?"
No. He wants me,
with a little help from Edge,
to write him a song. Yeah.
Not Gilbert and Sullivan
or Rodgers and Hammerstein.
Me, B-O-N-O, Paul.
"You? A baritone who thinks he's a tenor?"
Me.
Pavarotti wants me to write him a song.
Now who's the fucking eejit?
"He is."
Gloria
In te domine
Gloria
Exultate
Mount Temple Comprehensive School
was a nondenominational,
coeducational experiment.
In a country that was close
to civil war along sectarian lines,
we had Catholics and Protestants
in the same class.
You were encouraged to be yourself,
to be creative, to wear your own clothes,
and there were girls.
Also, wearing their own clothes.
Ironically,
amid this freedom from religion,
we found ourselves getting religion.
We got close to a group
of Christian radicals called "Shalom."
They figured all the established churches
had not just gotten away from Jesus,
but they had got in the way of Jesus.
As U2 started to get popular,
our first-century Christian brethren began
suggesting that our music was frivolous
and self-flattering.
In other words, fun.
We asked the question, "Can we not
change the world and have fun?"
"No. You must choose between
this world and the next."
Eventually, it became too much for us,
particularly Edge.
He couldn't live with the tension
between being a disciple of Jesus
and an apostle of Joey Ramone.
He eventually decided to leave the band.
I felt conflicted too.
I had no interest
in carrying on in U2 without Edge.
Larry sympathized with us both.
Adam did not.
One album and done, like the Sex Pistols.
Now we just had to tell our manager.
Have I told you about Paul McGuinness?
Paul McGuinness,
the Winston Churchill of Rock.
I mean, he went to war for U2.
He had just taken us
once around the world,
so we really,
really weren't looking forward
to telling him that we were breaking up
his baby band just as they hit puberty.
But he heard us out.
There was a pause,
some fidgeting, a slap on the face. His.
And then came,
"Am I to gather from this
that you've been talking to God?
Well, maybe the next time you ring God,
you might ask him, or her,
if it's okay for your representative
on Earth-- i.e., me--
to renege on a legal contract.
Do you think God would have you break
a legal contract, is my question.
A contract that I have signed
on your behalf to go on tour.
What sort of a God is that?"
Hell of a negotiator, Paul McGuinness.
It wouldn't be the first time
we'd put words in God's mouth.
The tour would indeed go ahead.
And I was so heightened,
I convinced
my 21-year-old girlfriend to get married.
Unbelievably, she said yes.
Now, Edge, he had some fun too,
but Edge was still not sure he wanted
to be in a business of inflamed egos
and pumped-up personalities.
I asked him,
would he make an exception for me?
Arpeggiating his way out of a corner,
Edge began working on
the sketch of a song.
Well, not just a song, a map.
A way forward for U2 in the world.
"Sunday, Bloody Sunday"
was religious art meets The Clash.
But its ambition was
to contrast the original Easter Sunday
with the massacre of 14 unarmed protesters
in the city of Derry.
While Edge was in his flat in Dublin,
I was with my bride in Jamaica,
writing lyrics for these new songs,
explaining to Ali why our honeymoon album
was gonna be called War.
I can't believe the news today
I can't close my eyes, make it go away
How long
How long must we sing this song?
How long, how long?
Tonight
We can be as one
Tonight, tonight
Broken bottles under children's feet
Bodies strewn across
The dead-end street
I won't heed the battle call
Puts my back up
My back up against the wall
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday
- Sunday
- Bloody Sunday
Here she comes
Here she comes
Here she comes, yeah
Here she
Comes
I'm here at the murder scene
The beginning of a fiction
Facts will not complete
Why so many mothers cry
Is religion now the enemy
Of the Holy Spirit guide?
The real battle yet begun
Where is the victory Jesus
Won?
Something to know about performers:
in pursuit of truth, we are capable
of more untruth than most.
Cheers.
Show business.
Back in the Sorrento Lounge,
the usual opening line from the da.
"Anything strange or startling?"
Everything is strange and startling.
"Oh, you're right there.
I took a taxi out here today.
The driver saw where I was going
and asked if I knew Bono."
"I said, 'I do not. Do you?'"
"Sure, we all know Bono out here.
Sure. Isn't he hounded by the Pavarotti?"
"Hounded. Hounded by the Pavarotti.
I never heard that one. Paparazzi, is it?"
Funny you should say that.
The great "Paparazzi" himself
has been calling the house again.
This time, he wants us to perform with him
in his hometown of Modena
to raise money for refugees
from the war in Bosnia.
I mean, how do you say no to that?
"For once,
would you just do what you're told?"
I want to do what I'm told.
But I'm also being told by the band
to stop getting distracted
so we can finish a U2 album,
rather than ones for Pavarotti.
Let me explain
something about being in this band
that even my da doesn't understand.
The popular perception
is that I am the leader of U2. I wish.
I voted that U2
should be an actual democracy.
So, now I'm in a band
with three other people,
each of whom
thinks he is the leader of U2.
So, my wanting to do something
does not necessarily mean
they are wanting to do something.
Anyway, I'm telling this to the da.
And, Da, the whole band was
in the studio in Hanover Quay
when the phone rings, you know.
"Bono, Bono, Bono. How are you?
Are you weary from the mountaintop?
Have you come down the mountaintop
with the tablets of rock and roll?"
The new album. Yeah, we're late as always.
"You told me this,
and dearest Bono,
that is why I am here to help."
I'm sorry? You're in Dublin?
"I am this very minute
in the Irish customs and exercise.
I have told them I have nothing to declare
but my love of Bono, Edge,
James and Larry."
"It is my sole purpose in this moment
to be of service to these great men."
Oh, maestro, they are great men
and this is a great honor,
but it's not a great moment.
"They don't like me?"
It's worse. They don't care.
I mean,
these are the children of punk rock.
They will likely suspect
that you are just here
to twist their arm into going to Modena.
"This pains me.
I came only in genuflection
and cordiality,
and now you question my motivation."
No. No, maestro. It's not like that.
"Perfetto. I am on my way."
Fuck. Fuck.
I go to Edge, Adam and Larry,
I say, "Look, he's the greatest singer
in the history of the world.
It's a huge honor he's coming to see us
in the next half an hour."
"The next half an hour? He might be coming
to see you," says Larry.
"He's not coming to see us."
"This is some kind of stunt," says Adam.
"He'd likely show up with a photographer,
you know? We will not be coerced."
What are you going to do? Hide?
"No, we're not gonna hide," says Edge.
"Actually,"
say Adam and Larry in perfect unison,
"that is exactly what we're gonna do.
We are going to hide."
Sorry?
And with that, two grown men hide
from Luciano Pavarotti.
The buzzer rings...
and there he stands. Oh, my God.
The greatest singer in the history
of the wor--
With a film crew.
Seven or eight excited Italians.
One of them's crying.
"Bono, Bono, Bono. Edge, Edge. Bono, Edge.
Where are James and Larry?"
"These are my friends from Rai Uno.
They have a satellite dish
in case we decide
to announce the show in Modena.
I mean, while we're all together."
"In what corner of the universe
is the great Pavarotti
knocking on your door
and you are not letting him in?
Has the world gone bloody mad?"
Da, in my corner
of the universe, we very much let him in.
In Edge's corner too.
In fact, we're off to be part
of Pavarotti & Friends
to support War Child in Modena.
Yes.
Adam and Larry are missing
in action on this one,
but would you like to go?
"Really?
Okay,
I suppose you better have
at least one real tenor on your side."
And then...
The greatest voice
in the history of the world.
But the miracle in Modena
was the transformation
of Brendan Robert Hewson,
my Irish Catholic father,
not by Luciano Pavarotti,
but by the woman on his arm,
Diana, Princess of Wales.
For those of you who don't know,
Edge's family were Welsh,
so they were thrilled
to meet the Princess of Wales.
Edge dared me to ask the da, so I did.
Da, you fancy meeting Lady Di?
The Evans are wondering.
"What? Why would I want to meet
a member of the royal family?
I mean, that's like asking me, do I want
to meet the winner of the lotto?"
Got it. I know. Just asking.
The next bit you just couldn't make up.
The da is in our trailer,
not eating from Pavarotti's deli tray
of exotic Italian meats
with names that none of us can pronounce.
And when he turns around...
she's right there.
Approaching 6 feet tall in her heels,
a vision in ivory.
Diana approached the da
as if in slow motion.
"How do you do?"
The da melted.
The shock of a close encounter
with the British royal family
quickly became a teenage crush.
"Very well. Thank you for asking.
Very pleased to meet you."
800 years of oppression,
disappearing in eight seconds.
If you've ever wondered about
the usefulness of the royals--
which a lot of Irish people have--
I would point to this incident.
Eight centuries of oppression,
one princess and we're even. Yes.
When we get home,
the da is still talking
about Princess Diana,
but he's modulating.
"I must say,
she does great things for charity,
but it's not charity
that you're on about, is it?
It's justice, isn't it?
I mean, you wouldn't need charity
if the world was just."
Is the son starting to make sense
to the father?
"I wouldn't go that far,
but I heard
your song 'Pride' on the radio,
and I might have felt some."
Well, you know, it was that song
that got us an invitation to Live Aid.
Bob Geldof said that when he heard it,
he could forgive me the mullet.
When U2 walked on stage at Live Aid,
we found ourselves looking out at a sea
of white flags of surrender,
swelling in the wind, even then,
and a generous spirit
moving through the crowd.
Felt like our punk prayers
were coming of age,
you know?
Prayers of peace.
Because to be hungry
is to be at war with yourself.
To be at war with the very ground
that you walk on.
That's right.
One man comes in the name of love
One man to come and go
One man comes he to justify
One man to overthrow
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
One man caught on a barbed-wire fence
One man he resist
One boy washed up on an empty beach
One boy who never will be kissed
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
Oh, yeah!
Wembley Stadium, London.
A thought is being broadcast
all over the world.
What if we were the world?
What if we could feed the world?
What else?
What else could be done
in the name of love? What else?
I still ask myself that question,
and I still wanna know the answer.
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
Live Aid
and all its spin-offs raised $250 million.
But African countries were paying that sum
to you and me every week
for old loans we shoved down
their throats during the Cold War.
"Every fucking week,"
as Bob Geldof would say.
I learned a big lesson from that.
Injustice is often disguised as bad luck.
As front man with U2,
I realized that if U2
was gonna be
writing big songs about big subjects,
I needed a bigger brain.
A software update.
Rather than go back to school--
You don't have to laugh actually.
It's all good.
I went to Africa with the missus.
Ali and I were working in this orphanage
in Ajebar, South Wollo, Ethiopia.
It's the autumn of 1985.
These rural people are struggling
to survive without food and water.
Their world has turned in on them.
The very land they live off
has refused them entry.
Tsegaye: "I am the source, I am the Nile,
I am the African, I am the beginning!
I am the song, I am the singing
I am the Ethiopia that 'stretches
her hand in supplication to God'
O Nile, you are the eloquence
that rings the Ethiopian bell
across the deaf world!"
Because buried
in this ground are great riches.
But a great famine has turned
this great nation upside down.
Same country is about to turn
our tiny lives right side up.
We will never be the same again
and we won't want to be.
In this parched place,
we learn lessons from a landscape
and a people that we can never forget.
"Poverty is not natural.
It is man-made and can be overcome
by the actions of women and men."
Most likely women, who better understand
that where you live
should not decide whether you live.
Are we right?
I wanna run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
Show me a place
High on the desert plain
Where the streets have no name
I wanted to feel
Sunlight on my face
But I need some shade and shelter
In this waterless place
Each desert rose
Is a prayer for rain
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
We're still building
And burning down love
We're burning down love
We can get through the fire
If I go with you
There's no other way through
It was hard for Ali and me
to come back from Ethiopia.
A large part of us is still there, actually.
After The Joshua Tree,
U2 were getting a bit famous.
A bit mainstream.
We were either gonna be
embarrassed about that or not.
Fame is currency,
and we wanted to use what you gave us
to do more
than get a seat at a fancy restaurant.
Which, by the way,
is not to be sniffed at.
I joined some new bands.
Drop the Debt, RED, the ONE Campaign,
fighting extreme poverty.
Really,
the ONE Campaign just had one idea.
You don't have to agree
with someone on everything
if the one thing you do agree on
is important enough.
This led to meetings with people who held
the purse strings for the world's poor.
There are such people.
They're called the government.
They're called the IMF, the World Bank.
This might be a moment
to break the fourth wall...
Really?
...and ask some hard questions
about my motivations.
Okay, there's been a mistake
in the teleprompter. EHP.
Am I trying to cover up my guilt
for having such a lavish lifestyle?
Yes, my lifestyle is lavish.
I am an overpaid, overregarded,
overrewarded, overfed rock-and-roll star.
Am I a hypocrite? Yes.
But not on this front.
On a lot of other fronts.
But I will say, hypocrites get a bad rap.
I mean, hypocrites do the right thing
at least some of the time.
But in the end...
what does it matter?
I mean, really, who cares?
Motives don't matter.
Outcomes matter. Lives matter.
Human potential matters. Justice matters.
You wouldn't need charity
if the world was just, as the da says.
But it's not, so get the check.
Get the check.
Lover, I'm off the streets
Gonna go where the bright lights
Big city meet
With a red guitar, on fire
Desire
She's the candle burning in my room
I'm like the needle, needle and spoon
Over the counter, with a shotgun
Pretty soon, everybody got one
In a fever when I'm beside her
Desire
Desire
Burning
Burning, baby
Burning with love
She's the dollars, she's my protection
She is the promise
In the year of election
Oh, sister, can't let you go
I'm like a preacher stealing hearts
At a traveling show
For love or money, money
Love or money, money
Love or money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money, money
And the fever, I can't deny her
Desire
Desire
And mark and yen to the pound
To the pound, to the pound
And all that makes the world go round
The world go round
Makes the world go round
Money makes the world go round
Really?
All right,
they're gonna change the cameras,
and I'm gonna have a very strong drink...
And we'll be right back.
We got four lenses,
- and we're looking for the hero lens.
- Okay.
Right. The most beautiful.
We would like you to stand there.
- I would love to.
- And we'll micro direct you.
Focus on the near eye.
Beautiful. We're never gonna go tighter
than that, are we?
I don't think so.
I think that'd be a bit,
difficult to perform
with those limitations.
Okay, so turn around, buddy.
Yeah. No, that's pretty good. He sort of
naturally knows what to do, right?
It's the third act.
All right, that's good.
The confessional.
All this saving the world,
is it really service,
duty, righteous anger,
or is it just a childlike desire
to be at the center of the action?
The center of attention.
Which begs the question,
can you have a child and remain a child?
Time to grow up.
Can't fuck this up.
Desire and virtue
is a whole dance,
and no one does it better than my missus.
"Desire" went to number one in the charts.
I don't know if there's a connection,
but we were so excited
we had our first baby.
I didn't know how to feel.
I didn't know
if I'd know how to be a father.
Didn't know if I could be a father
because I didn't think
I had been much of a son.
I said in the beginning
that Alison Stewart had faith.
I mean, this woman part wrote
the story that you're listening to.
When Ali and I married,
we moved out of our family homes.
That's how young we were.
We moved into an old stone tower
on the Irish coast,
the lighthouse.
Ali will let her soul be searched,
but only if you arrive
at her fort defenseless,
have you half a chance at challenging
her own almost unbroachable defenses,
it's the only way over that drawbridge.
Wasn't two years into our marriage,
and I could see my wife
in prolonged moments
returning to the vast silence
that she holds inside herself.
She was suggesting that
even when I was home, I wasn't home.
Our weekly walks along the promenade
tinged with melancholy,
as the waves try to make up their mind
whether they're leaving or staying.
Leaving or staying.
See the stone set in your eyes
Am I such a thorn in your side?
Should I wait for you?
There's a selfishness implicit
in the desire to be great at something.
Sleight of hand and a twist of fate
On a bed of nails you make me wait
You're trying to prove yourself,
but to who?
Without you
With or without you
Alison Stewart saw to me...
With or without you
...by seeing through me.
Through the storm we reached the shore
Before I had anything...
You give it all but I want more
...before I had my name...
And I'm greedy
...she knew what I had...
For you
...and hadn't.
With or without you
Concentration.
With or without you
You can't be great at anything...
I can't live
...without an incredible concentration.
With or without you
But a lot of it's just dysfunction.
You give yourself away
A sort of blindness...
And you give yourself away
...where you might not see
the person right next to you.
You might want an audience...
And you give yourself away
more than you want a family.
My hands are tied
You might not want to give up...
My body bruised, you got me with
...the emptiness...
Nothing to win
...that gave you everything.
And nothing left to lose
With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
I called my book Surrender
because I knew this is a word
I needed to understand better,
that it was the antidote
to whatever condition
I was suffering from.
And it didn't come natural to me.
One Sunday in 1999,
I'm back in the Sorrento Lounge
with the da,
and for the first time ever,
decide I'll ambush him
with his own question.
Just throw it at him.
Anything strange or startling, Da?
"I have cancer.
I'm in the departure lounge as it were.
You won't be putting up
with my unfunny jokes much longer."
Huge boulders fall on your head,
just like that,
from some imaginary mountain.
I thought I was getting to know him
that there'd be more time.
How Bob Hewson of you.
Just when I thought I was
finally getting to know you,
that you might give up some answers,
you give me the slip.
Beaumont Hospital...
Dublin, the summer of 2001.
I see my father in a hospital bed.
This time it's him
who's running out of air.
And I see myself lying next to him
on a mattress on the floor.
He's breathing,
but his breathing's getting shallower,
like the grave in his chest.
He shouts my name,
confusing me with my brother
and the other way around.
"Paul, Norman. Paul, Norman. Paul."
I jump up, call the nurse.
"Are you okay, Bob?"
she whispers in his ear.
His tenor has now become short,
tinny breaths.
An S after every exhalation.
"Yes. Get me out of here.
Get me out of here. I wanna go home. Yes.
Yes, I wanna go home. Yes."
I said, "It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Are you okay?"
Listen.
Silence.
I put my ear close to his mouth.
Silence.
Silence followed by,
"Fuck off."
There's something perfectly imperfect
about my da's exit from my life.
I don't believe he was telling me
or the very vigilant
night nurse to fuck off,
though I'm not ruling that out.
I'd like to think
he was addressing the burdens that
had been on his back for most of his life.
I have a feeling...
they're my inheritance,
but I believe
I have a choice in the matter.
And there was kindness too.
I think he believed that to dream
was to be disappointed,
and he didn't want that for me.
This is a-- This is--
This is when you realize
your father is your friend.
And you know, the journey of--
you know, from father to friend
is the only one to be on really,
if you're a father, and I am.
And I sort of made friends with my father
after he passed,
which is a bit of a mistake.
To imagine the story from his perspective
is humbling, you know.
He loses his wife.
He's left with his two kids,
and one of them
is charging in his direction,
you know, coming for him guns blazing.
And one of them is gonna take him out
by achieving all the ambitions
he was afraid to have.
He told me in those final days,
when accepting his cancers,
that he'd lost his faith.
And he also told me
that I should never lose mine.
That it was the most
interesting thing about me.
But it did happen, where I reached out...
Yeshua.
...and that thing that I have
- held so tightly...
- Yeshua.
...wasn't there. It was the most
terrifying moment of my life.
Yeshua.
Hold me close
Hold me close and don't let
Hold me close and don't let me go
Hold me close
Like I'm someone that you might know
The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town
You're out of luck
The reason that you had to care
Traffic is stuck
You're not moving anywhere
You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace
It's a beautiful day
The sky falls
You feel like it's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
You're on the road
But you got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination
You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day
Yeah, yeah
Touch me now
Take me to that other place
Teach me, love
I know I'm not a hopeless case
The dead are always with us
Won't leave us alone
Blowing through our memories
Rattling their bones
The dead are always with us
There's more of them than us
The valley of dry bones, dust to dust
Parched and abandoned
Filled with doubt
But after the flood
All the colors came out
All the colors came out
It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day
Yeah, yeah
Touch me now
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case
What you don't have
You don't need it now
What you don't know
You can feel it somehow
What you don't have
You don't need it now
Don't need it now
I have a very unscientific theory
that when you lose someone you love,
they bequeath you something.
A gift.
When I lost my mother...
well...
I got you to fill that hole.
When I lost my father,
I found my voice started to change,
and I couldn't help thinking
that the baritone
who thought he was a tenor
actually became one.
I don't know how.
All kinds of reasons.
Might have something to do
with this word forgiveness.
I don't know if I forgave my father,
or my father forgave me.
'Cause I was born with my fists up.
Surrender does not come easy to me.
To bow down to my bandmates,
to my wife, to my Maker,
is a struggle.
I have faith enough to hope
and hope enough to love.
And this music is how I practice that.
And my father on Earth, he gave me that.
And he left me with one
of his favorite melodies to haunt me.
Only realized recently,
the title has the same name
as our local watering hole,
the Sorrento Lounge.
"Come Back to Sorrento."
And it was this melody.
And I will.
One, two, three, four.
Baby's crying 'cause it's born to sing
Singers cry about everything
Still in the playground
Falling off the swing
But you know that I know
I just can't
remember the next bit.
What's the next bit of the melody?
Keep going. That's great.
One, two, three.
It is what it is
It's not what it seems
This screwed-up stuff
Is the stuff of dreams
I got just enough low self-esteem
To get me where I want to go
Another verse.
The showman gives you
Front row to his heart
The showman prays
His heartache will chart
Making a spectacle of falling apart
Is just the start of the show
Oh, you don't care
But you know I'm there
You think you look so good
A little more better
Look so good
A little more, little more
You think you look so good
That's what's gonna get you
Look so good
A to G.
I'll be chasing the sunlight
That's why I'm staying up all night
I lie for a living, I love to let on
But you make it true
When you sing along
You think you look so good
A little more better
Look so good
A little more, little more
You think you look so good
That's what's gonna get you
Look so good
Keeps-- Keep chorus going.
Look so good
A little more better
You think you look so good
A little more, little more
You think you look so good
That's what's gonna get you
Look so good
A little more, little more
You think you look so good
A little more, little more
Look so good
A little more, little more
- Happy?
- Back to work.
Okay.
- That was great.
- I loved it.