Bonus Track (2023) Movie Script
1
SUE: My castaway this week is
a musician and a rock star.
(tape recorder clicks)
GEORGE: Thanks, Sue-
-happy to be here.
SUE: Tell me about the
first record you want to play.
You get eight - you know this,
don't you?
(tape recorder clicks)
GEORGE: Er, alright.
I'm on a desert island,
and my tracks are...
(laughs) I know just the ones.
(tape recorder clicking)
(cassette whirring)
(tape recorder clicking)
(cheering, applause)
HOST: And now...the moment
you've all been waiting for...
Please, put your hands together
for the hottest rising star
of 2006.
The one, the only,
George Bobbin!
(audience screaming, cheering)
(camera bulbs flash)
WOMAN: You're a genius.
(bulbs continue flashing)
MAN: You're a fucking gaylord.
(laughing)
Hehe! (laughs)
(upbeat music)
(people chatting)
JEFFREY: No.
JEFFREY: I'm sorry, I don't want
a bunch of naked people
writhing all over
the living room.
JULIA: It's a life drawing
class, not an orgy.
Only the model gets naked.
You've met Toby, honey.
I'd just like you to keep
Toby's nuts off our cushions,
if that's not too much to ask,
okay?
-Oh, honey...
-Julia.
My name is 'Mum'.
I think we need to go home.
Keyboard sounded good tonight,
back at home.
Really rocking it.
It's for the Leavers'
Talent Show.
They call it a talent show,
but it's actually much
more than that.
It's, it's, er...it's a gig.
Takes guts to do something like
that, real commitment.
Well, I hope this same can be
said of your schoolwork.
Definitely.
Big strides.
Yeah, well, there'd better be,
George,
because this is it.
Final year, last chance saloon.
Now or never, okay?
What?
Honey, don't stress, okay?
(sighs) It's going to be...
-Difficult.
-Maths.
-History.
-Chemistry.
-Francais.
-Geography.
-Doesn't seem to...
...come naturally.
-He's just...
-Not a natural athlete.
Clumsy.
And I was a boy from school
JULIA: Good evening.
Er...Hm. Mr. Zeppelin.
What, like Led Zeppelin?
No.
Right, where to begin?
Well, from our point of view,
George is very enthusiastic
about music.
Well, there's certainly plenty
of, er, gusto there.
But I think where George and I
cross swords, as it were,
is in the classroom.
Because in the classroom,
there's no time for MTV
or experimentation.
You see, music is math...
but with noise.
That! You see it?
That is George's problem,
and that is why George is on
course to fail his Music GCSE.
Christ.
MR ZEPPELIN: He has played
the same jarring sequence
of plinks and plonks
in every single one of my
classes this term.
And when I give
him something else to play,
he gives me that look.
JULIA: Okay, well, it's only
early in the year,
so surely you can't be
saying it's too late.
Don't get me wrong, there
is some talent there,
but I urge him to apply himself
in order to meet
the challenges of the course!
This is school, George.
It's not a garage band, hm?
Now, while your parents
are here,
have you got
anything to say for yourself?
Yes. When will you be
considering applicants
for the Leavers' Talent Show?
Is, is that a...
MISS ANDERSON: Oh, er, sorry.
Excuse me. Um, yeah.
There's one more,
I'm afraid. It won't take long.
What a big year!
Yep, huge.
Now that I've been made
head of Key Stage Three,
I feel it's my duty to take
a more forward-looking view,
and to offer careers advice
to those like George,
who are in their final year.
Hmm, and, er, what do you think
some good options might be
for George,
you know, career-wise,
given that he's failing
everything?
Sorry, my husband can be
very dramatic.
Well why don't we take a look at
George's records, perhaps, yeah?
Um, okay, yeah...
Chu, chu, chu, chu.
Yeah, well, why don't we
look at this
a blessing in disguise, perhaps?
You know, I've always felt that
there's a great deal
of untapped potential in
George,
and maybe we haven't pushed
him hard enough to realise it.
You know, you could turn
this around. There's time.
Where do you see yourself
in...ten years?
Come on. What, what would
you say you're passionate about?
Music.
Fab, fab! That's great.
Um, what do you love
about music?
(audience cheering)
(band plays)
(women screaming)
(electric guitar solo)
WOMAN: Kiss me and stuff George!
(people chatting quietly)
JULIA: Whew!
(car doors close)
(sighs) Well then,
another one down.
Some real positives to
take away from that, I think.
Be serious. It was a disaster.
Well, I distinctly heard
Miss Anderson
refer to your son as
having untapped potential.
But you choose
to focus on the negatives.
Everything is going to be fine,
okay?
Not everyone's cut out for
school. You're unique.
Yes, well, 'unique' does not
pass exams, Julia.
You don't need exams
to get into music.
You just need to be talented
and connected.
Connected?
Yeah, honey, it's just...
It's all about who you know.
Oh, who does he know?
Well, he doesn't need to
know them now.
God, you're really on one
tonight, babe. Just...relax.
This is what happens when we
don't got to flamenco.
You get stiff in all
the wrong places.
Radio, please?
RADIO: The latest divorce
rumours look to be true,
as Mike and Penelope Marvin
stopped playing
midway through their song
'Pillow Fight' to have...
have...well, a fight.
-Hm.
RADIO: The formerly-iconic pair
stormed offstage
and cancelled the rest...
I used to have such a thing for
Mike Marvin.
How is this news?
(car rumbles, pulls off)
(upbeat music)
(keyboard plinks and plonks)
(knocking on door)
JEFFREY: George?
(music fades to headset)
(children chattering)
MOLLY: Boy?
Boy?
Oh, hey.
-Are you lost?
-No, no. I'm just, er...
hanging out.
Right...
Er, yeah, let's get
the day started then.
(car pulls up, door closes)
JOURNALIST: Max, Max!
(journalists chattering)
Are you happy be at
this school?
MAX: Can we not do this?
JOURNALIST: How are you feeling?
MAX: Um, I don't,
I don't want to...
Please, guys, it's my first
day at school.
Just a little bit
about what's going on for you.
MAX: No, come on.
JOURNALIST: A little bit about
what's going on...
MAX: No, come on. Just fuck off.
Fuck off!
JOURNALIST:
What's the problem?
-Oi.
-Sorry.
MALE: What's his problem?
No wonder you got kicked out
of your last school, mate.
(cassette rewinding)
(pupils singing)
Sets our hearts on fire
Flow, river, flow,
Flood the nations
with grace and mercy
Send forth the word
Lord, and let there be light
Thank you, all.
And thank you, Mr. Zeppelin.
(runs finger over keyboard)
-Right...
I have quite an exciting
announcement
to make this morning.
Er, some of you may have noticed
a new student in our midst.
(laughs) I'm sure that all of
you will have heard of
The Marvins.
And if you haven't, you will
certainly recognise
many of their songs, such as
'Silent Eyes', or 'Love Shot',
or, 'Don't, But Don't' 'Don't',
and 'Pillow Fight',
(chuckles) to name but a few.
Anyway, um, due to a recent
change in circumstance,
Penelope Marvin has moved into
the area,
and she has enrolled Max here to
finish his final year with us.
(pupils muttering)
Yes, alright.
Settle down, please.
Max, we welcome you with
warm and supportive arms.
Enjoy your time here at
Saint Sebastian's,
and remember,
Patet Omnibus Veritas'
'Truth lies open to all.'
(applause)
(recorder playing
laborious melody)
Thank you, Leanne,
with the recorder,
very underrated instrument.
Now, I know the theoretical part
of the exam
may feel like a bit of a bore.
But once you get into it,
I think you'll
find it's actually rather fun.
But yes, of course, the 'cool'
practical element
is just as important.
So, with that in mind ...
(murmurs) Shit.
George, you're up.
George?
-Hmm?
Mr. Zeppelin: Sometime before
Christmas, please.
(chair drags on floor)
(George sighs)
(stool scrapes the floor)
(staccato piano music)
Mr. Zeppelin: I just can't.
I really, really, really can't!
George, did we not
speak about this?
Well, I think it's getting
better.
Right. Have you done
your homework?
-There was homework?
-Sit down, Mr. Bobbin.
(piano stool scrapes)
Ah...
(knock on desk)
Max...
please, come and save us.
You, er...play the keys,
don't you?
Err...a bit.
Modest. With parents like yours,
I'm sure you're a natural.
Not really.
No, come on.
(knocks on desk)
Don't be shy.
Let's see what you've got.
(piano music)
(piano music continues)
(applause)
Ooh!
GEORGE: You have to be joking?
-George?
-Sorry.
MR. ZEPPELIN: Not to me. To Max.
Sorry. (coughs)
No problem.
I'm not going to lie, that was
a little bit overwhelming.
Er...genuinely moving, truly.
Er, right...er, well, before
the bell goes,
I wanted to briefly mention the,
er, Leavers' Talent Show.
Now, almost all of you
will know,
it's customary here
at Saint Sebastian's,
for the departing Year 11s
to end the academic year
with a talent show of sorts.
So, I've got a sign-up
sheet here,
which will be at the front of
my desk
for the rest of the day.
(slaps desk)
And I urge you all
to come forward.
(bell rings)
(chairs scrape)
(pupils chattering)
RADIO: So, Mike,
you were part of Luton's punk
scene growing up.
You're not exactly a stranger
to a bit of rebellion, are you?
But now, your son, Max,
has been getting into trouble
with the press.
Like father, like son?
MIKE: Me, I'm a working-class
boy.
Apparently, I didn't have...
(knock on door, door opens)
And now, as I see my son
growing,
I see his bravery...
It's a school night.
(radio clicks off)
No more radio.
Night.
(door creaks)
(door shuts)
(radio clicks)
MIKE: Yeah, well, back in
the day...
(static)
I don't know what it is
That makes me feel like this
I don't know who you are
But you must be some kind
of superstar
'Cause you move like you got
some kind of choreographer
You just make me wanna play
Baby take a look around
Aye-oh, aye-oh, aye-oh
Everybody's getting down
Aye-oh, aye-oh, aye-oh
Deal with all the problems
later
DJ, don't touch
that crossfader
There's something about you
Let's keep it moving
And if it's good, let's...
Have you done your
maths homework?
(tinny music over headphones)
I...I can't do my
maths homework.
Are you any good at it?
(tinny music over headphones)
Hello?
-Oh...yes, I...
yeah, I'm, I'm...I'm good.
Oh, great. Er, can you
just take a look?
It's a triangle.
Yeah, I think we need to be
a bit more specific than that.
(sighs) Er, yeah.
Um, right...
Well, I'd say it's quite
a large one.
Nice angles.
Yeah, it's a...it's a good one.
So I should put, "It's large and
it's got nice angles"?
More or less.
Maybe write some numbers
as well?
Make it maths-y.
(laughs) Okay, thank you.
No problem.
-So, what's your name?
-I'll go then.
Oh, okay.
George...
George? I'm Max.
Yes. That's right.
Look, I'm pretty behind and
I don't know anyone here, so...
Oh, you'll be fine.
You're sort of famous,
so people will talk to you.
Look, I need a tutor,
and you're obviously
a maths genius.
So, if you'd be up for it?
Tutoring?
For triangles?
Sure.
Tutoring?
Yeah. How much do you charge?
What? Um, er, no,
I don't, erm, charge.
Now I feel bad,
you doing it for nothing.
Is there anything else I could
help you with in return?
(synthesiser and drum beat)
(synth and drum beat continues)
Sorry, that...that's not, um...
that's not usually
how I play it.
That, that was
horrible. (scoffs)
Sorry, er...I'm sorry,
I, I, I didn't eat breakfast
this morning,
because I kept hitting snooze
on my alarm. So...
feeling a little bit shaky.
Um, but like, imagine that.
But like, twice, maybe
even three times... better.
I've... I'll, I'll just
play it again.
I like it.
It's good.
But not good enough, so...
I mean, I won't lie.
You are a bit rough around
the edges.
So rough.
You know, it's...
it's its own thing.
Yeah, right.
It's unique.
Yeah. And all the best
things are, so...
Well, no-one else
really likes it.
I start playing and they
don't even listen.
Yeah, well, you can't
please everyone.
They listen when you play.
(Max scoffs)
The talent show at the
end of the year,
I put my name down for it.
And I know, I just know,
that if people actually listen,
you know, give me a chance,
it's my one opportunity
to do something big,
something important.
Help me,
and I'll tell you everything
I know about triangles.
Okay.
Er, how about tonight?
I could... come over.
We can hang out,
work on your piece.
To my house?
Yeah.
What's today?
Ah, Thursday. Yep, yeah.
Great. Um...
Give me your number.
(phone keypad tones)
Thank you.
Is this a landline?
Yes. Just ask for George.
What, you don't have a mobile?
I've never needed one.
(laughs) Okay.
(coat rustles)
I'll see you later.
(background corridor chatter)
(drumsticks clack)
(slurping)
(school bell rings)
Okay everyone.
Have a good evening and see you
bright and breezy. Thank you.
(chairs scrape, bags zipped)
(chair scrapes)
Actually George, can you stay
behind a moment?
I'll save you a seat on the bus.
Bye.
Um... I won't keep you long.
-(classroom door closes)
-Um, I just, er...
I've been thinking about you
ever since Parents' Evening,
thinking about how much you
actually remind me of myself
when I was younger.
I didn't find school easy.
And so, I suppose I just...
wanted you to know that
even though your
academic situation is...
I believe in you.
You can come to me
about anything.
Okay?
Okay, off you pop.
(footsteps)
-Hm.
-(front door opens)
(keys rattle)
Um, this is, er, home.
(front door creaks)
-You can just put your things...
-Okay.
(keys clink)
(front door closes)
Er...
Oh, hey sport.
Is that your dad?
No, that's Toby.
My room's... We just...
George!
Er, Dad...
Jeffrey, this is, um, my friend.
JULIA: Hey.
-Hi.
Hi, I know you.
Why do I know you?
Yeah, you're, um...
You're... Oh Jesus.
He's not Jesus.
I'm Max.
Er, you're with George?
Yeah, George said it would be
ok if I joined you for dinner,
but don't worry if there's
not enough room.
Hey, Chef Jeff!
Nice, man. Hey, I, er,
I can't find my underwear.
-For fuck's sake.
-I'll be right there.
Thanks.
Okay.
Um, yes, of course you can
stay for dinner. And, um-
And then I can say
hello properly.
It's good to have you here, Max.
Spag bol lads?
Um, don't tell me
you're gluten-free?
(chopping)
(clink of cutlery)
So my mum said she was always
happy here before...
well, everything.
So it seemed natural to her
to come back.
I have a confession to make:
I used to have the biggest crush
on your dad.
Huge.
-More spaghetti, Max?
MAX: No thanks.
-Really?
JULIA: Oh God, yeah. We all did.
He was like...
Adonis with a guitar.
He's probably a bit
more leathery
than how you remember.
(laughs) Still have to
hold me back.
-(Max laughs)
GEORGE: Stop.
-(Julia laughs)
GEORGE: Please...
-Stop.
-(clink of cutlery)
So, are all these
drawings yours?
JULIA: Oh, well...
Yeah, some of them are by me.
Some of them are of me.
Okay, thank you, Julia.
I'm sure it's nothing
he hasn't seen before.
You have a girlfriend,
don't you?
No, actually.
Oh God, you're so young.
Go out, have fun.
Date everybody while you can.
Double date! Take George,
he never goes anywhere.
If he likes.
All done, honey?
Mmm hmm.
Leave your plates,
go have a good time.
Thank you so much for dinner.
It was lovely.
-Pleasure.
-(clink of cutlery)
Well, congratulations.
That was mortifying.
(cutlery clinks)
(door creaks open)
Um...(clears throat) So...
Yeah, this is, um...
Thanks.
Sorry, um...
Er, let me just, er...
Please, take a seat.
(Max sighs)
You standing guard?
No. I'll, er...
So...
So, er, you wanted to know
a bit more about triangles?
Yes, I'm absolutely gagging
to know more about triangles.
Okay, great. Good attitude.
Um, let's have a little look in
here then, shall we?
Um...
(George sighs, rustle of paper)
It's quite complicated,
actually. Er...
MAX: What are these?
-They're just tapes.
What, of celebrities?
I mean, my dad's there.
It's from a radio programme
I like.
What are these ones?
Oh, they're nothing.
That's... I...
That's a thing I used to do when
I was younger,
but I've grown out of that now.
All of these are from last year.
Like I said,
grown out of it... now.
-Well, can I hear one?
-No! (whispers) Sorry.
It's just, they're...
They're personal. It's...
They're like a journal-type
thing, you won't...
I'm sorry.
Anyway, you want to get started
on a bit of...
We could,
but I don't give two
shits about maths.
And to be honest,
I think you know
less than I do.
But I wouldn't mind hearing
your song again though.
Show me again how it starts?
Er...
Okay.
(bed creaks)
(Max sighs)
Just so you know, it's not going
to be as good as it usually is
because I just ate loads of
spaghetti Bolognese
so I'm still sort of...
digesting.
-Okay.
GEORGE: It's...
Just play the fucking song.
(laughs)
Okay.
Right.
(synthesiser music)
Okay, wait, let me just loop
that quickly.
Perfect, perfect. Keep going.
So have you written any lyrics
or got a melody, or...
Uh uh.
No? Okay.
Mind if I have a play?
Yeah, yeah. Er, okay.
(drum beat kicks in)
So I'm thinking if we, like,
start off low. No. (laughs)
Maybe if we just try and find it
and it starts on this key?
Nah, nah, nah...
Nah nah-nah-nah-nah
Nah nah nah, nah nah nah
That sounds quite good.
And then we do a little...
Nah nah nah nah
Nah-nah nah nah-nah nah
I think that's pretty good.
We can work on it,
but I think that's pretty good.
(synthesiser music)
(tape recorder
rewinds and clicks)
From the top.
One, two, three, four...
(synthesiser music)
Mm mm mm, mm-mm-mm
Nah-nah nah nah nah nah nah
Mm mm mm, mm mm mm.
Nah-nah nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah nah,
nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah
Taking me along with you
And then we go to the chor-us
Whenever we find it.
That is quite good.
We'll, we'll find it.
(end of drum synth)
Will you do the talent show
with me?
What? No.
Oh, come on. I can play
and you can sing.
We can just do that here.
No-one can hear us here.
So?
Look, okay, if you want to do
the talent show, that is fine.
And I've told you, I'll help you
work on the piece, but...
When it comes to the big
day, you're on your own.
No-one will listen
if it's just me.
Of course they'll listen.
No, they won't.
-George, if...
-No, don't...
Sorry, I don't mean to be rude,
but you can't understand,
because you're...
you.
(text message beep)
Sorry, I've gotta go.
Oh, okay.
I want to keep doing this,
if you do?
Definitely.
Great.
Well, thank you for teaching me
so much about triangles.
(Max laughs softly)
No problem.
(door creaks)
Hi.
I... I was, er, just
going to the loo,
which is that way.
Um, I wasn't listening.
But if I had been listening,
that sounded really,
really good.
Julia, you need the toilet.
Er, the name's still Mum,
and I do.
It was nice to meet you, Max.
You too.
Thank you for having me.
Any time.
Seriously, any time.
Right, I've got to go.
(sighs) Okay.
I'll see you tomorrow.
I'll walk you down.
It's fine.
I'm not the Queen.
(door handle creaks)
(door closes)
(upbeat music)
So if you're lonely
(audience cheers)
You know I'm here
Waiting for you
I'm just a crosshair
I'm just a shot away
from you
And if you leave here
You leave me broken
Shattered, I lie
I'm just a crosshair
I'm just a shot
Then we can die
Ah ah ah
Hey! Sorry.
It's fine.
Got something for you.
I cleared the SIM and charged
it up, so it should work fine.
(George gasps)
It's no worries.
(phone clicks)
You're not going to be able to
put that thing down now.
But speaking of phones,
some girl asked me for
my number earlier.
Err, which girl?
Wait, are you going to
be in one of these?
That's from ages ago.
I've changed
pretty dramatically,
so you won't find me.
(laughs) That's you!
What's wrong with your face?
Mid-sneeze.
You were saying about this girl?
Mate, you should go back
to the curtains.
You're totally rocking it.
Yeah, I'll do it... later.
The girl? Who was the girl?
Molly, she's in our form?
Do you know her?
Sort of.
She's hot, right?
Mmm.
Yeah, great... face.
I mean, she's probably
in one of these.
Did you give her your number?
Yeah, why not?
Yeah, yeah. No, yeah, that's...
Yeah, why not?
(laughs) Oh, my...
Why are you looking at that?
It's boring, and old.
What are you two doing together?
Just... hanging out.
Oh...
Cool. (scoffs)
Anyway, I just wanted to say you
were amazing during football.
Like, that goal that
you scored...
-Oh my god. (gasps)
MAX: Thanks.
So, are you busy this weekend?
I'm going into town tomorrow.
Yeah, er, we'd love to.
Um...
What?
Nothing. (laughs)
Don't worry if you're too busy.
He's not.
That's perfect, then. (sniffs)
I'll text you later?
I don't think I should, er...
Why? She just invited us.
No, they...
They invited you on, like a...
On like a date.
Yeah, and then she can bring one
of her mates, then...
Double date.
Right, yeah.
See you tomorrow.
Dress cool.
(footsteps)
(George sighs)
(upbeat music)
(Max chats with Molly)
-Hey.
-Hey.
Why are you so sweaty?
What a fun outfit.
It's the jacket, it's suede.
Mmm, it's worth it though.
I mean, you look great.
They didn't have vanilla vodka.
George, this is Polly.
Polly, George.
You two will so get on.
Peas in a pod and
all that shit. (scoffs)
(birdsong, dog barking)
You got some tunes in?
Music, it's er...
Ah man, love it.
You used to play the
recorder, right?
I remember that.
Polly, come on.
Come here.
Hey!
All good?
I don't think I know how to,
um, do this.
What are you doing with Molly?
Nothing.
I tried that. It did not work.
Just go with the flow.
I don't know what that means!
(sighs)
I need specific advice, alright?
How are you doing it?
Don't know. I'm...
I mean, I'm just kind
of walking,
and she seems like
she's enjoying herself, so...
But come on, let's lose
the jacket.
I feel like that's restricting
you a bit.
-So, let's lose your jacket.
-Yeah.
And you must be so hot.
Yeah, I'm...
See? That just looks
so much better.
Okay, now, let's sort
this out.
Let's relax them shoulders,
get them shoulders all relaxed.
-And go... Urrrrrgh!
-Urgh, okay.
There you go, let it out.
See, it's better already.
And we're going to do
some tap, okay?
We're going to do our
time steps.
Our singles. (taps ground)
We're gonna do our
doubles. (taps)
What, you want
me to do it?
We're going to do our triples,
with a little break,
a nice little break.
We're going to do
some Maxie Fords, too. (taps)
Do you know about Maxie Fords?
Keep going. (laughs)
(tapping, laughs) Woo!
Let's get drunk.
If you just... If you do help,
I feel like I'll get it better.
No, that doesn't make sense.
-(laughs) You did great, great.
-I did, I did.
Er, let's see if we can do it
from the start.
Um, coming up to a...
Oh, that's so kind, but I er...
No thank you.
Come on.
I know you're hating this
as much as I am.
No, I'm really enjoying myself.
I, er... I love town,
and you're so...
(George sighs)
(basketball bounces)
-That was really good!
-Yeah!
-Aargh!
-(basketball thuds)
Sorry, I'm usually better
on dates.
It's not your fault.
Typical me to get dragged along
on a date with a gay guy.
(swigs bottle)
Why do you think that?
I don't usually dress like this.
It doesn't matter. (sniffs)
(Polly vomits, coughs)
-MAX: Are you okay?
-(Polly retches, coughs)
So, what's next?
Err...
I don't know. What time is it?
Hey...
It's 3:30.
Oh! (sighs)
What?
Jeffrey, you know...
You remember?
Yeah.
He said be back by four.
Homework.
Fuck that.
Yeah, totally.
It's like, I'm an
adult now, so...
That's what my
parents don't get.
If I want to be home at, say,
you know, 4:30,
so be it.
Show them, man.
Yeah.
Like, like...
Like, what do you mean?
You know, put your foot down.
(footsteps)
Okay. Well, I mean...
Like I said, I could
get home at 4:30.
I think you need to
send a stronger message.
(electronic music)
Nice stencil.
Oh, cheers. What? Fuck!
(rattle of spraycan)
Rick, mask.
Right...
So you thought you
were clever coming here?
Seen some fresh street art
popping up around town?
Come over here, unannounced.
Thought, "Oh, yeah, we'll
uncover his true identity."
Pathetic.
We just wanted some piercings.
What?
Oh, right.
I recognise you.
-Yeah? Do you know not?
-No.
Well, Rick does the piercings
anyway, so...
-I'm getting lunch.
-What?
Getting lunch.
We'll work it out.
(footsteps)
(Jonno sighs)
(caravan door unlocks
and opens)
(footsteps)
(whispers) I think
he lives here.
(whispers) In there.
(footsteps)
Do you want piercings or not?
(police siren)
(footsteps)
(thud)
(door slams)
Right, I think sort of
round there.
-Mmm.
-I want it that side.
Yeah, it could be around there.
Do you think?
Er, er...
Mmm hmm.
Yeah.
Give it a go.
(Jonno sighs)
If it doesn't work this time,
just do it again.
Alright.
(click)
Alright, okay. Quick, quick,
get the ring.
-(Max gasps)
-Put the ring in.
That's... Okay, yeah.
That's perfect.
Mm, alright? (laughs) Okay.
Your go.
Come on.
(floor creaks, footsteps)
(sighs)
Right, what we doing?
I think you'd really suit
an eyebrow?
Yeah.
-Mmm hmm, mmm hmm.
-Yeah, I can see that.
Eyebrows, sick. Mmm hmm.
Let's get in there.
-Let's have a look...
-I think maybe ear, actually.
Yeah.
-Just for now, yeah.
-Yeah. No problem, yeah.
Maybe do eyebrow another time.
(click)
(Jonno breathes in)
Alright.
Okay, I'm just going to get
you in there.
That's no problem.
(click)
-Okay, that's alright.
-Aah.
That's normal.
That's totally normal, that.
(Jonno sighs)
(clunking)
(George gasps)
I could've been a filmmaker
but I just said no.
I'm an artist, I'm an
entrepreneur, I'm an activist.
Max!
I knew I recognised you.
You're in the paper!
Are you responsible for your
parents' divorce?
-Can we get a photo?
-Shit, they've found me.
-Hey, hey, hey! Come on!
(frenetic music)
What are you doing?
What have you done?
Are you responsible for
your parents' divorce?
-I... I...
-(gagging)
Max, what's with the piercing?
Is it a... Is this a
cry for help?
Do you feel responsible for
your parents' divorce?
Hey, you...
How do you know him?
What do you think?
(camera clicks)
-You know what I think?
-What?
-(camera smashes)
-Woah!
Go, go!
He broke my camera.
Go, go! Go, go, go!
(footsteps)
Hey... So, Stinky Rick...
-No, it's er, Richard Hemming.
-Richard Hemming.
But my street name
is Skinny Rick.
-And who are you?
-Skinny Rick.
-Fuck the press!
-Fuck the press!
Say that they did that.
(footsteps, seagulls squawking)
(sighs)
(gasping)
(panting)
Those fucking leeches!
I mean, he was actually
chasing us.
I mean, how is it
even legal?
(sighs)
How many people get their
ears pierced?
How many people's parents
get divorced?
Why does it have to be
a cry for help?
I'm sorry.
(panting) It's okay.
(sighs)
(sighs)
It looks a bit red.
Yeah, it's a little bit itchy.
Should probably take it out
before I go home anyway.
You can't take it out.
What? Why not?
It's too soon.
It'll close up again.
How long do I have to wait?
Like, six weeks.
-Oh, shit...
-(laughs) Oh my God.
(Max laughing)
(laughter)
(laughs, sighs)
I, I have to go home. (scoffs)
I have to go home.
Okay, no problem.
(dog barks)
Be honest...
Do you like it?
(gentle music)
What was that, um...
like, dance move thing you did
in the park?
It was a time step.
I'll show you.
It starts with a shuffle.
Hop, step, shuffle.
Ah, forget it. I'm never going
to be able to do that.
(laughs) Okay, I'll see
you tomorrow.
Alright.
(keys jangle)
(door creaks)
Pull. I said pull!
(door creaks)
JEFFREY: No, no.
(door creaks)
(sighs) Oh, Julia, just be
patient please.
(bump, table rattles)
George?
(creaking)
(murmuring)
-Oh, Jesus.
JULIA: Inhale.
Yeah, I'm inhaling,
believe me. Ugh!
Inhale Jeff. Come on Jeff.
Yeah, come on, come on.
Wait, wait, no.
Ooh! (laughs)
(sighs) No.
(Julia laughs)
Oh... Well hello!
Is that my jacket?
And my shirt?
Why are you wearing so many of
your mother's clothes?
God!
Why are you late?
Because I wanted to be... late.
What?
Have you been drinking?
Come on, come on, come on!
Alright, alright.
Julia, Julia. Julia?
They clearly don't fit.
Now, leave it.
Okay, sure.
Meanwhile, let's find out why
our son is home an hour late,
clearly drunk and wearing
all your clothes.
Oh, take the bloody
headphones off.
For fuck's sake.
What the hell is that?
Piercing.
Oh, it really suits him.
Oh yes, he absolutely suits
having an infected earlobe.
It's just fresh. Did it hurt?
Yeah, it's kind of...
Yeah. Don't touch it,
don't touch it.
-Oh.
-(whispers) I love it.
(whispers) Me too.
Clearly he didn't go alone.
(sighs)
Max got one too.
You guys are really hitting
it off, aren't you?
(grunt of exertion)
I'm so pleased.
-Yeah, well I'm not.
-Oh my God.
Because from where I'm standing,
he's clearly a bloody
awful influence.
Yeah.
I'm sorry Jeff, there's no way.
You're going to have to
wear your chinos.
Oh, do you know what?
Forget it, we're not going.
What? No, we missed
the last three.
Yes, and we will miss
the next three.
I am sick of you undermining me!
I am not undermining you.
Your trousers don't close.
I'm just saying...
I am talking about George!
What? So he's got his ear
pierced! It's his life!
Which he's ruining!
Yeah, well what about
our life, huh?
What about our marriage?
Don't be so dramatic Julia.
Okay, alright.
You know what,
I'm going on my own.
You can just stay here with
your fucking misery pants,
I don't care.
(mobile phone chimes
and vibrates)
(grumbling, door slams)
(pigeons cooing)
(click)
And she doesn't give a damn
about me
'Cos I'm just a
teenage dirtbag, baby
Yeah, I'm just a teenage
dirtbag baby
Listen to Iron Maiden, maybe
With me... Oooh
And he doesn't give
a damn about me
'Cos I'm just a
teenage dirtbag, baby
Yeah I'm just a teenage
dirtbag, baby
Listen to Iron Maiden maybe
With me
Oooh
Oh, yeah
Dirtbag
No, she doesn't know
what she's missing
Oh, yeah
Dirtbag
No, she doesn't know
what she's missing
Oh, yeah
Dirtbag
No, she doesn't know what
she's missing. Yeah.
Come on. Chop, chop.
Right, okay.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
eleven, twelve, thirteen...
BUTTON: Good!
You're all here.
Andy.
Button.
It's been a while.
Turtle Beach.
Turtle Beach.
Everyone, er, this is our host,
Donna Button.
Um, er, Donna, this is
our Year 11s.
Some of you
are probably thinking this trip
is going to be a bit of fun,
organised by your school in the
run-up to your GCSE exams.
This is training complex,
designed to push you
to your limits.
To help you achieve things
that perhaps you didn't think
you were capable of.
Stay alert!
Listen to instructions.
Welcome to Keldy Action Camp.
Not a place,
but a state of mind.
(whistle blows)
MISS ANDERSON: Right, okay.
Come on, let's go.
Turtle Beach.
(scoffs) Turtle Beach.
There was some mad tension
there, don't you think?
Mmm hmm.
Hey, Max.
This place is so
fucking lame, right?
Like, we're sixteen. (scoffs)
Do you smoke?
You definitely should.
Why?
You'd totally suit it.
(scoffs) I'm so sneaking out
tonight for one.
Come with?
Alone.
I'm good, thanks.
Okay.
Well, I'll text you when
I'm going for one.
-If you want to join me, then...
-He doesn't smoke.
Was I talking to you, cumstain?
Hey, back off.
Why do you even hang
out with him?
(scoffs) Is it like one
of those charities
where you adopt a donkey?
I would take him over you
any day.
God, take a joke.
(electronic music)
This... is not a canoe.
It's a kayak.
And there's a big difference.
Canoes are for sightseers
and poem readers.
This is an extreme sport.
Now, to give you an idea,
I've paddled this thing
down whitewater rapids.
GEORGE: I think it's the best
thing I've ever seen, ever, but
I think it's a bad idea
to annoy her.
BUTTON: Try paddling
against the current...
What are you so scared of?
BUTTON: ...while a grizzly swims
surprisingly fast behind you.
BUTTON: And that's just
the start.
You know, it's a shame really.
I mean, if she was actually cool
then she'd be the full package.
BUTTON: ...underwater.
But I'm not going to let you
guys anywhere near a kayak,
So if she was cool, she'd, like,
be your type then?
(whistle blows)
What is the greatest danger in
Keldy Action Camp? Anyone?
Boredom?
Nice one. Anyone else?
Hmm? You.
BUTTON: You are the most
dangerous object in this camp.
BUTTON: Any smokers
amongst us?
Don't think I have a type.
-Right, but you must, like...
BUTTON: You!
(whistle blows)
Chatty Cathy,
you're going to help me
demonstrate our first exercise.
Shallow end, now.
(whistle blows)
(splash)
BUTTON I'm not going to let you
guys anywhere near a kayak
until you've mastered this one.
(George gasps)
I need one more volunteer.
(sinister music)
(splash)
(water lapping)
(water lapping)
(water lapping)
You two,
this is a trust exercise
first and foremost,
but also a little
rough and tumble
to get you comfortable with
pushing those limits.
You alright, soldier?
Er...
I get it.
It's not for the faint-hearted.
But trust me,
the rewards are limitless.
I'll show you.
(exhales)
(exhales)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Oh... Oh God!
Oh, I've got you. It's okay.
(splash)
Have you, have you got your
foot in? Um...
Yeah, if you could just
help me get it?
Okay.
MISS ANDERSON: (laughs)
I've, I've always got you.
BUTTON: I've always got you.
-(clears throat)
BUTTON: With the right attitude,
and under my tutelage
you will conquer some of the
most dangerous stunts
in the kayaking world.
On my whistle,
Molly will perform an
underwater barrel roll
with George,
hold him under for a beat,
and then bring him
back up again.
On my mark.
(whistle blows, splash)
(bubbling underwater)
(splash, whistle blows)
What have I been saying this
entire time, hmm?
You flip this thing over close
enough to the edge,
you can crack someone's skull
open like a watermelon.
I've seen it.
I can't trust you in this pool.
Hit the showers.
(George sniffs)
(water lapping)
This... is a barrel roll.
(water splashes)
MISS ANDERSON:
What's going on, George?
Do you really want
to finish school
and have nothing to show for it?
I won't have nothing.
(birdsong)
The Leavers' Talent Show.
The... Sorry, the Leavers'
Talent Show?
What are you talking about?
I've signed up to it.
I'm going to prove to everyone
that I'm not a loser,
that I'm actually...
good at something.
Fine, fine. But, um,
after the show,
everyone will leave, George.
That's why they call
it the Leaver's Talent Show.
School will be over,
and the only important thing
remaining will be the work,
the grades, the exams
that will permanently
open or close doors
for the rest of your life.
I... I don't care.
No, you might not care now,
but you're sixteen years old.
Do you know what you're going
to feel in ten years' time?
You don't know how I'm going
to feel either.
(birdsong)
(sighs) I'm really not trying to
upset you, George, but
we've all been there.
We've all had to make
a difficult decision.
I made one,
and I can honestly say that...
yeah, that I made the
right choice.
Yeah, I'm the Head of
Key Stage 3
in one of the top fifteen
schools in West Yorkshire
and if I hadn't made
that difficult decision,
I would be, er,
frolicking in the sea,
doing nothing with my life.
No ladder to climb, no savings,
no security, just...
Wasting my life away
with...(sighs)
Just think about it, okay?
Never have I ever tried
sucking myself off.
Mate, can you ask one
we've actually done
so we can fucking drink?
Do you lot want to jump in?
Max, you do one.
Okay. Er...
Never have I ever...
fantasised about Molly Olson.
See that, that is a
good one.
(oohs from the group)
Mate, she is so fit!
Makes me so angry!
You want to...
Ah! (thumps table)
(laughter)
Your go.
Oh, er, okay. Er...
Never have I ever...
(clears throat)
Come on, man.
We're getting sober here.
Sorry. Er...
Never have I ever...
(sighs) kissed my own
reflection, just to practice.
What? No.
I would never fucking kiss
a boy, even if it's me.
Yeah, that...
That's, that's gay.
(clears throat)
Never have I ever...
(owls hooting)
(bed creaks)
(bed creaks)
(tinny music over
headphones)
(bed creaks)
(snoring)
(bed creaks)
(door opens)
(door shuts)
(rock music)
(tape recorder rewinds)
(door opens)
Have you noticed?
- Want a drink?
-Yeah.
Oh, great.
I've never been impressed
By your friends from New York
and London
I'll level accusations
like the press
'Til you realise that you've
dressed yourself in tatters
Because a man's needs,
man's needs
Are found on greed,
are found on greed
A man's needs
Oh-oh, oh-oh
(panting)
(footsteps)
-(bridge creaks)
GEORGE: Woah.
(bridge creaks)
(laughs) Stop, stop, Max. Stop.
(bridge creaks)
(beer can hisses)
(beer cans hissing)
(slurping)
Oh...
(gasps, laughing)
(splat)
(gasps, laughter)
(wiping)
Worth it?
Yeah.
(creak)
(kissing)
(kissing)
(camera click)
(gasp, running footsteps)
Hey!
(footsteps)
Max, wait.
(footsteps)
Max!
(panting)
Fucking journalist!
What, you saw them?
Who else?
No, no. No way,
not out here.
Look, don't worry.
It's really dark, anyway.
Let's just go.
I'm freezing.
(footsteps)
(birdsong)
(George sighs)
(creaking)
(creaking)
Sorry, I was a bit drunk.
(whispers) Don't worry,
it's fine.
(bedframe creaks)
Who do you think...
It doesn't matter.
Like you say,
it was probably too dark to
get a good picture, so...
Oh my God, have you
shit yourself?
(car engine and brakes)
(car door opens)
Text me later, yeah?
(car door shuts)
(engine revs)
(light music, door opens)
(door shuts)
(George sighs)
(synthesiser music)
George?
Can you come into the living
room for a minute, honey?
(footsteps)
How was your trip?
Why are you both sat like that?
Er, we, we just want
a quick chat, mate.
Er, do you want to...?
No, you go.
Okay, um...
(sighs)
Er, your mother thought that...
Um, well, no, we both thought
that while you were away,
it would be a good
opportunity to, um...
you know, do some
proper talking.
And you've probably noticed
that things have been a bit
tense around here recently.
And you know, that...
That's not healthy
for any of us.
JULIA: Now, there's no need
to worry, okay?
Your father and I have
just decided
to give each other
a bit of space.
Just a bit.
It's kind of like we're
going on holiday,
just separately, right?
(Julia inhales)
And then at some point
we will come back
from that holiday and...
And then we'll see.
Is it the earring?
Because I can take it
out now. It's...
No, no, George. It's not that.
Honey, it's not you.
ALAN: Hey.
(car horn)
(dog barking)
Just want to show you
something, huh?
(footsteps)
I think that's a bit tacky.
I wouldn't use it, but...
My editor disagrees with me
and he's going to publish it
in tomorrow's paper.
I haven't read the
article yet,
but apparently it
contains something
about a serious drug problem?
What? That's a complete lie.
Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
They just...
They won't listen to me.
(sighs) Look, I'm not a monster.
An innocent young man's
reputation is at stake,
and you have the chance to set
the record straight
before they publish
this rubbish.
You're his best friend,
aren't you?
I mean, you're his boyfriend?
-What do you want?
-Um...
-Your name, for starters.
-(dictaphone clicks)
George.
So, this photo of you
and Max Marvin,
were you on illicit substances
when this was taken?
No, definitely not.
Definitely not.
So, this is a photo of you
and Max Marvin,
and you are definitely
not on drugs?
Yes, no, we're...
No, we're not.
Surname?
Bobbin.
-Thank you, Mr. Bobbin.
-(dictaphone clicks)
You've shown your boyfriend
a great kindness.
-(letterbox rattles)
JULIA: Mmm.
JULIA: Mmm hmm.
-(George exhales)
-Yes, I am wide open tonight.
If you need a model,
I know a great guy.
Oh, yeah, Toby Long. Of course,
yeah. He's the one!
Mmm hmm.
Have a great day, sweetheart.
Mmm hmm.
(door opens)
(door shuts)
I'm sorry, I wanted to talk
to my son. (laughs)
Knew it.
-George!
-No, no, no...
-(camera clicks)
-George! George!
-Are you together?
-George!
Are you only in it
for the fame, George?
George, George!
George, have you met
the Marvins?
Excuse me.
Right, you can just stop
right there,
otherwise I'm calling
the police.
You need to move right now.
Bent twat.
(background chatter)
(tapping)
(flip phone clicks)
(phone chimes
and vibrates)
(toilet flushes, footsteps)
(background caf music)
(caf door opens, bell rings)
-(door closes)
-He said that...
The reporter said
they were going to do a story
about how you were on drugs,
and how you were going mad.
They said... They said I could
set the record straight,
- and I just...
-I'm leaving.
What? Where are you...
For how long?
I'm moving in with my dad.
I thought you liked it here?
My mum barely leaves her bed.
There's journalists everywhere.
At least in London I blend in.
I got it wrong, really wrong.
But just please, please...
Stay.
I need you here.
What do you need me for?
You're...
Well, for lots of things.
Yeah, like what?
Like, I can't play my...
What?
The school talent show?
Is that it?
No. No, no. Well, yeah.
No, that's...
What else, then?
Just tell me.
Why do you want me to stay?
You know...
(footsteps)
(caf door opens, bell rings)
(emotive music)
In one single moment,
your whole life can turn round
Stand there for a minute
staring straight into
the ground
Looking to the left slightly,
then looking back down
The world feels like it's
caved in, proper sorry frown
Please let me show you how
it could only just be for us
I can change and I can grow,
or we could adjust
The wicked thing about us
is we always have trust
We can even have an open
relationship, if you must
I look at her: she stares
almost straight back at me
But her eyes glaze over
like she's looking straight
through me
Then her eyes must have closed
for what seems an eternity
When they open up,
she's looking down at her feet
Dry your eyes, mate
I know it's hard to take but
her mind has been made up
(phone rings)
(phone rings)
I'm so sorry they
did this to you.
(phone rings)
Let it ring.
(phone rings)
Whoever it is can leave
a message, yeah?
(phone rings)
(answering machine beeps)
It's me. Um...
Just give me a call back.
Hey.
Yeah, yeah, he's here.
George?
Er, are you alright?
Well, I, er...I just
wanted, um...
Why didn't you tell us?
We're your parents,
you should have said.
(sign slams, tense music)
(tape recorder rewinds)
Adams?
Here, Miss.
-Bartlett?
-Here, Miss.
-Bobbin?
-(pupils laugh and jeer)
Enough.
George, see me afterwards.
Daniels?
It's a clich, but it's true...
today's news is tomorrow's fish
and chip paper.
Let me know if you
need anything.
Hey.
JEFFREY: Do you fancy a lift?
I can walk.
Oh, go on. I got off work early.
Your exams going okay?
Look, I never said, um...
about the newspaper.
-I didn't really handle it...
-It's okay.
Oh, for fuck...
Jesus Christ.
(rustling)
So, er...(sighs)
I, er, suppose...
you're gay then, huh?
I'm... I'm not judging,
by the way.
I'm, I'm not.
Um...
How long have you known?
I don't know.
I don't know if I...
(sighs)
Still...You're still figuring
stuff out. You know, that's...
That's fair enough. Um...
(sighs)
Look...
(exhales slowly)
I know I can be a bit
of a raincloud.
I mean, you probably think it's
because I don't understand you.
God, I hated school. (scoffs)
Hated being your age.
Never knew the right thing to
say, or the right thing to do.
Always seemed so easy for
everyone else.
It was frustrating. And that...
That feeling has never really
gone away for me.
So, when I see you going
your own way,
it scares me so much George
because I love you.
And I don't want to see
you unhappy.
But you do seem unhappy.
(sniffs)
It's just that you
were right, I...
This year was my year to figure
everything out.
I really thought...
I really thought I had.
It's too late now.
Oh...
It's never too late, mate.
Okay?
Never.
(car horn honks)
Oi, alright!
Wanker!
(keys jangle, car engine starts)
(sniffs)
Unbelievable.
- Bought a drum kit with...
-Hi.
...buy a record.
-Hi.
- Got poached by other guys...
If you have any washing, speak
now, or forever hold your peace.
Um, Dad gave me a lift home.
That's nice.
But that attitude just, just...
(dusts hands)
What's that?
It's a leaflet thing.
Music college, huh? Good idea.
(paper rustles)
I haven't heard you playing
much recently.
Shouldn't you be practising
for the show?
I'm dropping out.
Seems a waste after
all that work.
(basket creaks)
(footsteps)
(sighs)
It was a waste.
(clothes flap)
No-one cares, nobody listens.
I'm not good enough anyway.
You can't just roll into a ball
when things don't go
your way, George.
Things never go my way.
And they never will
if you give up.
You have to fight.
(scoffs) You don't fight.
Dad just drove off
and you're acting like...
(sighs)
You're just out here
doing the laundry.
(sighs)
I'm carrying on with my life.
Your father and I have
tried everything.
Everything.
And we're still trying,
because we love each other.
(sighs)
You try your best.
But ultimately, you just have
to get on with it.
If you want Max,
stop moping around
and go tell him.
And I'd better hear
that keyboard
at full fricking volume,
do you hear me?
(birdsong)
(clothes pegs rattle)
(cloth folds)
(cloth folding)
(cloth hits the basket)
(tape recorder clicks)
(tape recorder grinds)
I told you that my tapes were
like a journal,
but they're also a fantasy.
I used to imagine millions of
people tuning in,
hanging off my every word...
because they loved me.
Well this tape's just for you.
(tape recorder clicks
and clunks)
(cassette case snaps shut)
(envelope rustles)
(clunk on desk)
(applause)
(muttering)
Thank you. Thank you,
thank you, thank you!
Welcome all to the 2006
St. Sebastian Talent Show.
Now before we kick off,
I would like to address the
Year 11s directly.
School life has, in a way, been
your whole life up until now.
But after tomorrow,
you will step into a new,
much larger world,
where you will be responsible
for the choices you make.
Be bold, and remember:
'Patet Omnibus Veritas.'
'Truth lies open to all.'
Let the show begin!
(applause)
A student is an oak
tree seedling,
Planted delicately in the soil,
Protected from the pecking birds
of bad influence.
So I made this for my GCSE with
my new camera phone.
It's about nature and
stuff like that.
(remote control bleeps)
(projector screen rumbles
and squeaks)
-(football bounces)
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Woohoo!
(electronic dance music)
(electronic ambient music)
(projector screen rumbles
and squeaks)
(coughing)
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Woo!
-Ooh, ooh, ooh!
(electronic dance music)
(electronic ambient music)
So here's to all the memories,
School trips, discos and plays.
If you're sad to leave,
then you're an idiot,
And I hope you spend your life
in misery and regret.
(project hums then thuds)
-(groans) Oh...
-I don't mind!
-(electronic dance, applause)
-(electronic ambient music)
Misery and regret,
for the rest of your days.
(murmuring)
(one person clapping)
Thank you Polly.
Onwards! Er, now, next up
we have George Bobbin.
(applause)
(applause)
(table scrapes)
(table scrapes)
(speaker hums and buzzes,
feedback)
Here we go.
(clunky synthesiser music)
(laughter and murmuring)
(door opens and closes)
(audience murmuring)
(footsteps)
What the fuck are
you wearing? (scoffs)
(Max laughs)
Alright, okay.
Start from the beginning,
pick up the pace.
(tape recorder rewinds)
(tape recorder clicks)
There's a map I will follow
If you say the word, I'll go
-(synthesiser music)
Catch a flight out tomorrow
It's my future to unfold
No time, I won't think
about it
Shut my eyes and jump
in the deepest blue
Just say you're taking me
along with you
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh, yeah
I don't care 'bout
the baggage
I still want you I could cry
Like a knife causes damage
I'm alive in your disguise
I feel it when
we're together
Like a secret both of
us never knew
Just say you're taking me
along with you
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
He's actually alright.
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Woo!
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
(audience clap along)
Come on, baby
This could be a
very bad fun idea
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
(audience whooping and clapping)
Come on, baby
This could be a very bad
fun idea
(audience whooping and cheering)
JEFFREY: Come on!
MAX: Yes Jeffrey! Everyone!
(Julia laughs)
You reside in the moment
Then the world
changed overnight
You can't break
what is broken
But I want us to survive
I'll be there,
whatever happens
Meet me somewhere
I can be reckless too
Just say you're taking me
along with you
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
Thanks everyone! Woo!
(audience cheers and applauds)
You did it, you did it.
Oh!
(audience cheering, applauding
and whistling)
Woo!
(upbeat music)
(audience cheering and applause)
Give it up for George Bobbin
everyone! Woo!
(audience cheering and applause)
(car horn honks)
-(door opens)
-Oh, hey Button. (laughs)
(car door slams)
I love you, George!
(squeals) Oh God!
Oh... Oh, I'm so proud!
That took...
That took big balls.
-(laughs) Thanks Mum.
-Big, big balls!
-Mum... Mum, stop.
-Big balls!
It was amazing,
well done to you.
Thanks Dad.
Hey, I'd... I'd like you to guys
to meet someone.
(clears throat)
This is my dad.
Dad, this is George,
and George's mum Julia,
and George's dad Jeffrey.
Oh, sorry. I feel ridiculous
in these, but umm...
I didn't want to cause a stir
and I wouldn't have missed that
for the world. (laughs)
Hi!
Um... (giggles)
I'm a big fan!
-(giggles)
-Oh, thank you so much.
Er, yeah. Yeah, actually me too.
Okay.
-I'm a big fan.
MIKE: Thanks man.
And this is the famous George.
(laughs)
(whispers) He's cute.
Dad, stop! (laughs)
(giggles)
I think we should celebrate.
Espresso martinis,
what do you think?
Yeah, we've got to get up early,
but as long as we don't
have too many...
Er, yeah. Er, I...
Do you know what?
Um, I think I might've put my
back out a bit with the dancing.
Um, well, you, you...
You go, just have fun.
Proud of you.
Ooh!
Thank you, very tempted.
Um...
But I'm going to...
Yeah, I'm going to go.
I'm going to go be with
your dad, yeah.
I'm going to go, going
to go home.
Are you going to be okay
to make your way home?
-Yeah, course.
-(laughs) Yeah, okay.
Bye, bye, bye.
Um, I'm good...
Well done you.
-Wait, Mum. Are you...
-Mmm hmm, mmm hmm.
Bye.
(laughs) Your mum's great.
-Dad!
-(Mike laughs)
Um, hello Mr. Marvin.
Um, I'm Lucinda Shan,
I'm the headmistress here
at Saint Sebastian's School.
(laughs) And if I might say,
I'm a huge fan.
Well, thank you.
I, I wondered if you'd like
to explore me.
The... the school. The school
grounds are beautiful.
Would you like a tour?
-Yeah.
-Oh, great!
I'd love that.
I'll meet you out front
in ten minutes?
(laughs)
Have fun, boys.
I got your tape.
Very eclectic mix.
So, are you, um...
You're going back to
London, then?
But I mean, my mum's still going
to be here, so I'll be back.
-Oh, yeah.
STUDENT: Shit, it's Mike Marvin!
STUDENT: Honestly, here's here.
-Oh my god, Mike Marvin!
Let's get his signature.
I, I should probably go
and get him, before they do.
I'll text you, okay?
I think you should stay.
I want you to stay,
for the summer at least.
What do you want to do?
(kissing)
(kissing)
Dunno.
Go into town?
Mmm. (laughs)
We could get our
eyebrows pierced.
Alright.
(letters hit floor,
letterbox clanks)
Come on, honey, we've gotta go.
We're going to be late.
Beep, beep, beep!
-(footsteps)
-Okay, my love.
Um, so, there is money there on
the side for Thai food or pizza.
-Anything you want, okay?
-Sorry, sorry, sorry.
-Okay?
-You look amazing.
Mmm, so do you!
Okay, you all good?
-Er, yeah.
-Yeah? Okay, okay, okay.
That flamenco's not going to
dance itself, let's go!
-Oh!
-See you later.
-(front door slams)
-Bye.
(George sighs)
(tearing letter open)
(synthesiser music)
There's a map I will follow
If you say the word, I'll go
Catch a flight out tomorrow
It's my future to unfold
-(laughter)
Long time, I will
think about it
Shut my eyes and jump
in the deepest blue
Just say you'll take me along
with you
(door creaks and shuts)
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
I don't care about
the baggage
I still want you,
I could cry
Like a knife causes damage
I'm alive in your disguise
I feel it when
we're together
Like a secret both of
us never knew
Just say you're taking me
along with you
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
A very bad fun idea
It was a certain moment
When the world
changed overnight
You can't break what
is broken
But I want us to survive
I'll be there
whatever happens
Meet me somewhere I can
be reckless too
Just say you're taking me
along with you
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
A very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
SUE: My castaway this week is
a musician and a rock star.
(tape recorder clicks)
GEORGE: Thanks, Sue-
-happy to be here.
SUE: Tell me about the
first record you want to play.
You get eight - you know this,
don't you?
(tape recorder clicks)
GEORGE: Er, alright.
I'm on a desert island,
and my tracks are...
(laughs) I know just the ones.
(tape recorder clicking)
(cassette whirring)
(tape recorder clicking)
(cheering, applause)
HOST: And now...the moment
you've all been waiting for...
Please, put your hands together
for the hottest rising star
of 2006.
The one, the only,
George Bobbin!
(audience screaming, cheering)
(camera bulbs flash)
WOMAN: You're a genius.
(bulbs continue flashing)
MAN: You're a fucking gaylord.
(laughing)
Hehe! (laughs)
(upbeat music)
(people chatting)
JEFFREY: No.
JEFFREY: I'm sorry, I don't want
a bunch of naked people
writhing all over
the living room.
JULIA: It's a life drawing
class, not an orgy.
Only the model gets naked.
You've met Toby, honey.
I'd just like you to keep
Toby's nuts off our cushions,
if that's not too much to ask,
okay?
-Oh, honey...
-Julia.
My name is 'Mum'.
I think we need to go home.
Keyboard sounded good tonight,
back at home.
Really rocking it.
It's for the Leavers'
Talent Show.
They call it a talent show,
but it's actually much
more than that.
It's, it's, er...it's a gig.
Takes guts to do something like
that, real commitment.
Well, I hope this same can be
said of your schoolwork.
Definitely.
Big strides.
Yeah, well, there'd better be,
George,
because this is it.
Final year, last chance saloon.
Now or never, okay?
What?
Honey, don't stress, okay?
(sighs) It's going to be...
-Difficult.
-Maths.
-History.
-Chemistry.
-Francais.
-Geography.
-Doesn't seem to...
...come naturally.
-He's just...
-Not a natural athlete.
Clumsy.
And I was a boy from school
JULIA: Good evening.
Er...Hm. Mr. Zeppelin.
What, like Led Zeppelin?
No.
Right, where to begin?
Well, from our point of view,
George is very enthusiastic
about music.
Well, there's certainly plenty
of, er, gusto there.
But I think where George and I
cross swords, as it were,
is in the classroom.
Because in the classroom,
there's no time for MTV
or experimentation.
You see, music is math...
but with noise.
That! You see it?
That is George's problem,
and that is why George is on
course to fail his Music GCSE.
Christ.
MR ZEPPELIN: He has played
the same jarring sequence
of plinks and plonks
in every single one of my
classes this term.
And when I give
him something else to play,
he gives me that look.
JULIA: Okay, well, it's only
early in the year,
so surely you can't be
saying it's too late.
Don't get me wrong, there
is some talent there,
but I urge him to apply himself
in order to meet
the challenges of the course!
This is school, George.
It's not a garage band, hm?
Now, while your parents
are here,
have you got
anything to say for yourself?
Yes. When will you be
considering applicants
for the Leavers' Talent Show?
Is, is that a...
MISS ANDERSON: Oh, er, sorry.
Excuse me. Um, yeah.
There's one more,
I'm afraid. It won't take long.
What a big year!
Yep, huge.
Now that I've been made
head of Key Stage Three,
I feel it's my duty to take
a more forward-looking view,
and to offer careers advice
to those like George,
who are in their final year.
Hmm, and, er, what do you think
some good options might be
for George,
you know, career-wise,
given that he's failing
everything?
Sorry, my husband can be
very dramatic.
Well why don't we take a look at
George's records, perhaps, yeah?
Um, okay, yeah...
Chu, chu, chu, chu.
Yeah, well, why don't we
look at this
a blessing in disguise, perhaps?
You know, I've always felt that
there's a great deal
of untapped potential in
George,
and maybe we haven't pushed
him hard enough to realise it.
You know, you could turn
this around. There's time.
Where do you see yourself
in...ten years?
Come on. What, what would
you say you're passionate about?
Music.
Fab, fab! That's great.
Um, what do you love
about music?
(audience cheering)
(band plays)
(women screaming)
(electric guitar solo)
WOMAN: Kiss me and stuff George!
(people chatting quietly)
JULIA: Whew!
(car doors close)
(sighs) Well then,
another one down.
Some real positives to
take away from that, I think.
Be serious. It was a disaster.
Well, I distinctly heard
Miss Anderson
refer to your son as
having untapped potential.
But you choose
to focus on the negatives.
Everything is going to be fine,
okay?
Not everyone's cut out for
school. You're unique.
Yes, well, 'unique' does not
pass exams, Julia.
You don't need exams
to get into music.
You just need to be talented
and connected.
Connected?
Yeah, honey, it's just...
It's all about who you know.
Oh, who does he know?
Well, he doesn't need to
know them now.
God, you're really on one
tonight, babe. Just...relax.
This is what happens when we
don't got to flamenco.
You get stiff in all
the wrong places.
Radio, please?
RADIO: The latest divorce
rumours look to be true,
as Mike and Penelope Marvin
stopped playing
midway through their song
'Pillow Fight' to have...
have...well, a fight.
-Hm.
RADIO: The formerly-iconic pair
stormed offstage
and cancelled the rest...
I used to have such a thing for
Mike Marvin.
How is this news?
(car rumbles, pulls off)
(upbeat music)
(keyboard plinks and plonks)
(knocking on door)
JEFFREY: George?
(music fades to headset)
(children chattering)
MOLLY: Boy?
Boy?
Oh, hey.
-Are you lost?
-No, no. I'm just, er...
hanging out.
Right...
Er, yeah, let's get
the day started then.
(car pulls up, door closes)
JOURNALIST: Max, Max!
(journalists chattering)
Are you happy be at
this school?
MAX: Can we not do this?
JOURNALIST: How are you feeling?
MAX: Um, I don't,
I don't want to...
Please, guys, it's my first
day at school.
Just a little bit
about what's going on for you.
MAX: No, come on.
JOURNALIST: A little bit about
what's going on...
MAX: No, come on. Just fuck off.
Fuck off!
JOURNALIST:
What's the problem?
-Oi.
-Sorry.
MALE: What's his problem?
No wonder you got kicked out
of your last school, mate.
(cassette rewinding)
(pupils singing)
Sets our hearts on fire
Flow, river, flow,
Flood the nations
with grace and mercy
Send forth the word
Lord, and let there be light
Thank you, all.
And thank you, Mr. Zeppelin.
(runs finger over keyboard)
-Right...
I have quite an exciting
announcement
to make this morning.
Er, some of you may have noticed
a new student in our midst.
(laughs) I'm sure that all of
you will have heard of
The Marvins.
And if you haven't, you will
certainly recognise
many of their songs, such as
'Silent Eyes', or 'Love Shot',
or, 'Don't, But Don't' 'Don't',
and 'Pillow Fight',
(chuckles) to name but a few.
Anyway, um, due to a recent
change in circumstance,
Penelope Marvin has moved into
the area,
and she has enrolled Max here to
finish his final year with us.
(pupils muttering)
Yes, alright.
Settle down, please.
Max, we welcome you with
warm and supportive arms.
Enjoy your time here at
Saint Sebastian's,
and remember,
Patet Omnibus Veritas'
'Truth lies open to all.'
(applause)
(recorder playing
laborious melody)
Thank you, Leanne,
with the recorder,
very underrated instrument.
Now, I know the theoretical part
of the exam
may feel like a bit of a bore.
But once you get into it,
I think you'll
find it's actually rather fun.
But yes, of course, the 'cool'
practical element
is just as important.
So, with that in mind ...
(murmurs) Shit.
George, you're up.
George?
-Hmm?
Mr. Zeppelin: Sometime before
Christmas, please.
(chair drags on floor)
(George sighs)
(stool scrapes the floor)
(staccato piano music)
Mr. Zeppelin: I just can't.
I really, really, really can't!
George, did we not
speak about this?
Well, I think it's getting
better.
Right. Have you done
your homework?
-There was homework?
-Sit down, Mr. Bobbin.
(piano stool scrapes)
Ah...
(knock on desk)
Max...
please, come and save us.
You, er...play the keys,
don't you?
Err...a bit.
Modest. With parents like yours,
I'm sure you're a natural.
Not really.
No, come on.
(knocks on desk)
Don't be shy.
Let's see what you've got.
(piano music)
(piano music continues)
(applause)
Ooh!
GEORGE: You have to be joking?
-George?
-Sorry.
MR. ZEPPELIN: Not to me. To Max.
Sorry. (coughs)
No problem.
I'm not going to lie, that was
a little bit overwhelming.
Er...genuinely moving, truly.
Er, right...er, well, before
the bell goes,
I wanted to briefly mention the,
er, Leavers' Talent Show.
Now, almost all of you
will know,
it's customary here
at Saint Sebastian's,
for the departing Year 11s
to end the academic year
with a talent show of sorts.
So, I've got a sign-up
sheet here,
which will be at the front of
my desk
for the rest of the day.
(slaps desk)
And I urge you all
to come forward.
(bell rings)
(chairs scrape)
(pupils chattering)
RADIO: So, Mike,
you were part of Luton's punk
scene growing up.
You're not exactly a stranger
to a bit of rebellion, are you?
But now, your son, Max,
has been getting into trouble
with the press.
Like father, like son?
MIKE: Me, I'm a working-class
boy.
Apparently, I didn't have...
(knock on door, door opens)
And now, as I see my son
growing,
I see his bravery...
It's a school night.
(radio clicks off)
No more radio.
Night.
(door creaks)
(door shuts)
(radio clicks)
MIKE: Yeah, well, back in
the day...
(static)
I don't know what it is
That makes me feel like this
I don't know who you are
But you must be some kind
of superstar
'Cause you move like you got
some kind of choreographer
You just make me wanna play
Baby take a look around
Aye-oh, aye-oh, aye-oh
Everybody's getting down
Aye-oh, aye-oh, aye-oh
Deal with all the problems
later
DJ, don't touch
that crossfader
There's something about you
Let's keep it moving
And if it's good, let's...
Have you done your
maths homework?
(tinny music over headphones)
I...I can't do my
maths homework.
Are you any good at it?
(tinny music over headphones)
Hello?
-Oh...yes, I...
yeah, I'm, I'm...I'm good.
Oh, great. Er, can you
just take a look?
It's a triangle.
Yeah, I think we need to be
a bit more specific than that.
(sighs) Er, yeah.
Um, right...
Well, I'd say it's quite
a large one.
Nice angles.
Yeah, it's a...it's a good one.
So I should put, "It's large and
it's got nice angles"?
More or less.
Maybe write some numbers
as well?
Make it maths-y.
(laughs) Okay, thank you.
No problem.
-So, what's your name?
-I'll go then.
Oh, okay.
George...
George? I'm Max.
Yes. That's right.
Look, I'm pretty behind and
I don't know anyone here, so...
Oh, you'll be fine.
You're sort of famous,
so people will talk to you.
Look, I need a tutor,
and you're obviously
a maths genius.
So, if you'd be up for it?
Tutoring?
For triangles?
Sure.
Tutoring?
Yeah. How much do you charge?
What? Um, er, no,
I don't, erm, charge.
Now I feel bad,
you doing it for nothing.
Is there anything else I could
help you with in return?
(synthesiser and drum beat)
(synth and drum beat continues)
Sorry, that...that's not, um...
that's not usually
how I play it.
That, that was
horrible. (scoffs)
Sorry, er...I'm sorry,
I, I, I didn't eat breakfast
this morning,
because I kept hitting snooze
on my alarm. So...
feeling a little bit shaky.
Um, but like, imagine that.
But like, twice, maybe
even three times... better.
I've... I'll, I'll just
play it again.
I like it.
It's good.
But not good enough, so...
I mean, I won't lie.
You are a bit rough around
the edges.
So rough.
You know, it's...
it's its own thing.
Yeah, right.
It's unique.
Yeah. And all the best
things are, so...
Well, no-one else
really likes it.
I start playing and they
don't even listen.
Yeah, well, you can't
please everyone.
They listen when you play.
(Max scoffs)
The talent show at the
end of the year,
I put my name down for it.
And I know, I just know,
that if people actually listen,
you know, give me a chance,
it's my one opportunity
to do something big,
something important.
Help me,
and I'll tell you everything
I know about triangles.
Okay.
Er, how about tonight?
I could... come over.
We can hang out,
work on your piece.
To my house?
Yeah.
What's today?
Ah, Thursday. Yep, yeah.
Great. Um...
Give me your number.
(phone keypad tones)
Thank you.
Is this a landline?
Yes. Just ask for George.
What, you don't have a mobile?
I've never needed one.
(laughs) Okay.
(coat rustles)
I'll see you later.
(background corridor chatter)
(drumsticks clack)
(slurping)
(school bell rings)
Okay everyone.
Have a good evening and see you
bright and breezy. Thank you.
(chairs scrape, bags zipped)
(chair scrapes)
Actually George, can you stay
behind a moment?
I'll save you a seat on the bus.
Bye.
Um... I won't keep you long.
-(classroom door closes)
-Um, I just, er...
I've been thinking about you
ever since Parents' Evening,
thinking about how much you
actually remind me of myself
when I was younger.
I didn't find school easy.
And so, I suppose I just...
wanted you to know that
even though your
academic situation is...
I believe in you.
You can come to me
about anything.
Okay?
Okay, off you pop.
(footsteps)
-Hm.
-(front door opens)
(keys rattle)
Um, this is, er, home.
(front door creaks)
-You can just put your things...
-Okay.
(keys clink)
(front door closes)
Er...
Oh, hey sport.
Is that your dad?
No, that's Toby.
My room's... We just...
George!
Er, Dad...
Jeffrey, this is, um, my friend.
JULIA: Hey.
-Hi.
Hi, I know you.
Why do I know you?
Yeah, you're, um...
You're... Oh Jesus.
He's not Jesus.
I'm Max.
Er, you're with George?
Yeah, George said it would be
ok if I joined you for dinner,
but don't worry if there's
not enough room.
Hey, Chef Jeff!
Nice, man. Hey, I, er,
I can't find my underwear.
-For fuck's sake.
-I'll be right there.
Thanks.
Okay.
Um, yes, of course you can
stay for dinner. And, um-
And then I can say
hello properly.
It's good to have you here, Max.
Spag bol lads?
Um, don't tell me
you're gluten-free?
(chopping)
(clink of cutlery)
So my mum said she was always
happy here before...
well, everything.
So it seemed natural to her
to come back.
I have a confession to make:
I used to have the biggest crush
on your dad.
Huge.
-More spaghetti, Max?
MAX: No thanks.
-Really?
JULIA: Oh God, yeah. We all did.
He was like...
Adonis with a guitar.
He's probably a bit
more leathery
than how you remember.
(laughs) Still have to
hold me back.
-(Max laughs)
GEORGE: Stop.
-(Julia laughs)
GEORGE: Please...
-Stop.
-(clink of cutlery)
So, are all these
drawings yours?
JULIA: Oh, well...
Yeah, some of them are by me.
Some of them are of me.
Okay, thank you, Julia.
I'm sure it's nothing
he hasn't seen before.
You have a girlfriend,
don't you?
No, actually.
Oh God, you're so young.
Go out, have fun.
Date everybody while you can.
Double date! Take George,
he never goes anywhere.
If he likes.
All done, honey?
Mmm hmm.
Leave your plates,
go have a good time.
Thank you so much for dinner.
It was lovely.
-Pleasure.
-(clink of cutlery)
Well, congratulations.
That was mortifying.
(cutlery clinks)
(door creaks open)
Um...(clears throat) So...
Yeah, this is, um...
Thanks.
Sorry, um...
Er, let me just, er...
Please, take a seat.
(Max sighs)
You standing guard?
No. I'll, er...
So...
So, er, you wanted to know
a bit more about triangles?
Yes, I'm absolutely gagging
to know more about triangles.
Okay, great. Good attitude.
Um, let's have a little look in
here then, shall we?
Um...
(George sighs, rustle of paper)
It's quite complicated,
actually. Er...
MAX: What are these?
-They're just tapes.
What, of celebrities?
I mean, my dad's there.
It's from a radio programme
I like.
What are these ones?
Oh, they're nothing.
That's... I...
That's a thing I used to do when
I was younger,
but I've grown out of that now.
All of these are from last year.
Like I said,
grown out of it... now.
-Well, can I hear one?
-No! (whispers) Sorry.
It's just, they're...
They're personal. It's...
They're like a journal-type
thing, you won't...
I'm sorry.
Anyway, you want to get started
on a bit of...
We could,
but I don't give two
shits about maths.
And to be honest,
I think you know
less than I do.
But I wouldn't mind hearing
your song again though.
Show me again how it starts?
Er...
Okay.
(bed creaks)
(Max sighs)
Just so you know, it's not going
to be as good as it usually is
because I just ate loads of
spaghetti Bolognese
so I'm still sort of...
digesting.
-Okay.
GEORGE: It's...
Just play the fucking song.
(laughs)
Okay.
Right.
(synthesiser music)
Okay, wait, let me just loop
that quickly.
Perfect, perfect. Keep going.
So have you written any lyrics
or got a melody, or...
Uh uh.
No? Okay.
Mind if I have a play?
Yeah, yeah. Er, okay.
(drum beat kicks in)
So I'm thinking if we, like,
start off low. No. (laughs)
Maybe if we just try and find it
and it starts on this key?
Nah, nah, nah...
Nah nah-nah-nah-nah
Nah nah nah, nah nah nah
That sounds quite good.
And then we do a little...
Nah nah nah nah
Nah-nah nah nah-nah nah
I think that's pretty good.
We can work on it,
but I think that's pretty good.
(synthesiser music)
(tape recorder
rewinds and clicks)
From the top.
One, two, three, four...
(synthesiser music)
Mm mm mm, mm-mm-mm
Nah-nah nah nah nah nah nah
Mm mm mm, mm mm mm.
Nah-nah nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah nah,
nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah
Taking me along with you
And then we go to the chor-us
Whenever we find it.
That is quite good.
We'll, we'll find it.
(end of drum synth)
Will you do the talent show
with me?
What? No.
Oh, come on. I can play
and you can sing.
We can just do that here.
No-one can hear us here.
So?
Look, okay, if you want to do
the talent show, that is fine.
And I've told you, I'll help you
work on the piece, but...
When it comes to the big
day, you're on your own.
No-one will listen
if it's just me.
Of course they'll listen.
No, they won't.
-George, if...
-No, don't...
Sorry, I don't mean to be rude,
but you can't understand,
because you're...
you.
(text message beep)
Sorry, I've gotta go.
Oh, okay.
I want to keep doing this,
if you do?
Definitely.
Great.
Well, thank you for teaching me
so much about triangles.
(Max laughs softly)
No problem.
(door creaks)
Hi.
I... I was, er, just
going to the loo,
which is that way.
Um, I wasn't listening.
But if I had been listening,
that sounded really,
really good.
Julia, you need the toilet.
Er, the name's still Mum,
and I do.
It was nice to meet you, Max.
You too.
Thank you for having me.
Any time.
Seriously, any time.
Right, I've got to go.
(sighs) Okay.
I'll see you tomorrow.
I'll walk you down.
It's fine.
I'm not the Queen.
(door handle creaks)
(door closes)
(upbeat music)
So if you're lonely
(audience cheers)
You know I'm here
Waiting for you
I'm just a crosshair
I'm just a shot away
from you
And if you leave here
You leave me broken
Shattered, I lie
I'm just a crosshair
I'm just a shot
Then we can die
Ah ah ah
Hey! Sorry.
It's fine.
Got something for you.
I cleared the SIM and charged
it up, so it should work fine.
(George gasps)
It's no worries.
(phone clicks)
You're not going to be able to
put that thing down now.
But speaking of phones,
some girl asked me for
my number earlier.
Err, which girl?
Wait, are you going to
be in one of these?
That's from ages ago.
I've changed
pretty dramatically,
so you won't find me.
(laughs) That's you!
What's wrong with your face?
Mid-sneeze.
You were saying about this girl?
Mate, you should go back
to the curtains.
You're totally rocking it.
Yeah, I'll do it... later.
The girl? Who was the girl?
Molly, she's in our form?
Do you know her?
Sort of.
She's hot, right?
Mmm.
Yeah, great... face.
I mean, she's probably
in one of these.
Did you give her your number?
Yeah, why not?
Yeah, yeah. No, yeah, that's...
Yeah, why not?
(laughs) Oh, my...
Why are you looking at that?
It's boring, and old.
What are you two doing together?
Just... hanging out.
Oh...
Cool. (scoffs)
Anyway, I just wanted to say you
were amazing during football.
Like, that goal that
you scored...
-Oh my god. (gasps)
MAX: Thanks.
So, are you busy this weekend?
I'm going into town tomorrow.
Yeah, er, we'd love to.
Um...
What?
Nothing. (laughs)
Don't worry if you're too busy.
He's not.
That's perfect, then. (sniffs)
I'll text you later?
I don't think I should, er...
Why? She just invited us.
No, they...
They invited you on, like a...
On like a date.
Yeah, and then she can bring one
of her mates, then...
Double date.
Right, yeah.
See you tomorrow.
Dress cool.
(footsteps)
(George sighs)
(upbeat music)
(Max chats with Molly)
-Hey.
-Hey.
Why are you so sweaty?
What a fun outfit.
It's the jacket, it's suede.
Mmm, it's worth it though.
I mean, you look great.
They didn't have vanilla vodka.
George, this is Polly.
Polly, George.
You two will so get on.
Peas in a pod and
all that shit. (scoffs)
(birdsong, dog barking)
You got some tunes in?
Music, it's er...
Ah man, love it.
You used to play the
recorder, right?
I remember that.
Polly, come on.
Come here.
Hey!
All good?
I don't think I know how to,
um, do this.
What are you doing with Molly?
Nothing.
I tried that. It did not work.
Just go with the flow.
I don't know what that means!
(sighs)
I need specific advice, alright?
How are you doing it?
Don't know. I'm...
I mean, I'm just kind
of walking,
and she seems like
she's enjoying herself, so...
But come on, let's lose
the jacket.
I feel like that's restricting
you a bit.
-So, let's lose your jacket.
-Yeah.
And you must be so hot.
Yeah, I'm...
See? That just looks
so much better.
Okay, now, let's sort
this out.
Let's relax them shoulders,
get them shoulders all relaxed.
-And go... Urrrrrgh!
-Urgh, okay.
There you go, let it out.
See, it's better already.
And we're going to do
some tap, okay?
We're going to do our
time steps.
Our singles. (taps ground)
We're gonna do our
doubles. (taps)
What, you want
me to do it?
We're going to do our triples,
with a little break,
a nice little break.
We're going to do
some Maxie Fords, too. (taps)
Do you know about Maxie Fords?
Keep going. (laughs)
(tapping, laughs) Woo!
Let's get drunk.
If you just... If you do help,
I feel like I'll get it better.
No, that doesn't make sense.
-(laughs) You did great, great.
-I did, I did.
Er, let's see if we can do it
from the start.
Um, coming up to a...
Oh, that's so kind, but I er...
No thank you.
Come on.
I know you're hating this
as much as I am.
No, I'm really enjoying myself.
I, er... I love town,
and you're so...
(George sighs)
(basketball bounces)
-That was really good!
-Yeah!
-Aargh!
-(basketball thuds)
Sorry, I'm usually better
on dates.
It's not your fault.
Typical me to get dragged along
on a date with a gay guy.
(swigs bottle)
Why do you think that?
I don't usually dress like this.
It doesn't matter. (sniffs)
(Polly vomits, coughs)
-MAX: Are you okay?
-(Polly retches, coughs)
So, what's next?
Err...
I don't know. What time is it?
Hey...
It's 3:30.
Oh! (sighs)
What?
Jeffrey, you know...
You remember?
Yeah.
He said be back by four.
Homework.
Fuck that.
Yeah, totally.
It's like, I'm an
adult now, so...
That's what my
parents don't get.
If I want to be home at, say,
you know, 4:30,
so be it.
Show them, man.
Yeah.
Like, like...
Like, what do you mean?
You know, put your foot down.
(footsteps)
Okay. Well, I mean...
Like I said, I could
get home at 4:30.
I think you need to
send a stronger message.
(electronic music)
Nice stencil.
Oh, cheers. What? Fuck!
(rattle of spraycan)
Rick, mask.
Right...
So you thought you
were clever coming here?
Seen some fresh street art
popping up around town?
Come over here, unannounced.
Thought, "Oh, yeah, we'll
uncover his true identity."
Pathetic.
We just wanted some piercings.
What?
Oh, right.
I recognise you.
-Yeah? Do you know not?
-No.
Well, Rick does the piercings
anyway, so...
-I'm getting lunch.
-What?
Getting lunch.
We'll work it out.
(footsteps)
(Jonno sighs)
(caravan door unlocks
and opens)
(footsteps)
(whispers) I think
he lives here.
(whispers) In there.
(footsteps)
Do you want piercings or not?
(police siren)
(footsteps)
(thud)
(door slams)
Right, I think sort of
round there.
-Mmm.
-I want it that side.
Yeah, it could be around there.
Do you think?
Er, er...
Mmm hmm.
Yeah.
Give it a go.
(Jonno sighs)
If it doesn't work this time,
just do it again.
Alright.
(click)
Alright, okay. Quick, quick,
get the ring.
-(Max gasps)
-Put the ring in.
That's... Okay, yeah.
That's perfect.
Mm, alright? (laughs) Okay.
Your go.
Come on.
(floor creaks, footsteps)
(sighs)
Right, what we doing?
I think you'd really suit
an eyebrow?
Yeah.
-Mmm hmm, mmm hmm.
-Yeah, I can see that.
Eyebrows, sick. Mmm hmm.
Let's get in there.
-Let's have a look...
-I think maybe ear, actually.
Yeah.
-Just for now, yeah.
-Yeah. No problem, yeah.
Maybe do eyebrow another time.
(click)
(Jonno breathes in)
Alright.
Okay, I'm just going to get
you in there.
That's no problem.
(click)
-Okay, that's alright.
-Aah.
That's normal.
That's totally normal, that.
(Jonno sighs)
(clunking)
(George gasps)
I could've been a filmmaker
but I just said no.
I'm an artist, I'm an
entrepreneur, I'm an activist.
Max!
I knew I recognised you.
You're in the paper!
Are you responsible for your
parents' divorce?
-Can we get a photo?
-Shit, they've found me.
-Hey, hey, hey! Come on!
(frenetic music)
What are you doing?
What have you done?
Are you responsible for
your parents' divorce?
-I... I...
-(gagging)
Max, what's with the piercing?
Is it a... Is this a
cry for help?
Do you feel responsible for
your parents' divorce?
Hey, you...
How do you know him?
What do you think?
(camera clicks)
-You know what I think?
-What?
-(camera smashes)
-Woah!
Go, go!
He broke my camera.
Go, go! Go, go, go!
(footsteps)
Hey... So, Stinky Rick...
-No, it's er, Richard Hemming.
-Richard Hemming.
But my street name
is Skinny Rick.
-And who are you?
-Skinny Rick.
-Fuck the press!
-Fuck the press!
Say that they did that.
(footsteps, seagulls squawking)
(sighs)
(gasping)
(panting)
Those fucking leeches!
I mean, he was actually
chasing us.
I mean, how is it
even legal?
(sighs)
How many people get their
ears pierced?
How many people's parents
get divorced?
Why does it have to be
a cry for help?
I'm sorry.
(panting) It's okay.
(sighs)
(sighs)
It looks a bit red.
Yeah, it's a little bit itchy.
Should probably take it out
before I go home anyway.
You can't take it out.
What? Why not?
It's too soon.
It'll close up again.
How long do I have to wait?
Like, six weeks.
-Oh, shit...
-(laughs) Oh my God.
(Max laughing)
(laughter)
(laughs, sighs)
I, I have to go home. (scoffs)
I have to go home.
Okay, no problem.
(dog barks)
Be honest...
Do you like it?
(gentle music)
What was that, um...
like, dance move thing you did
in the park?
It was a time step.
I'll show you.
It starts with a shuffle.
Hop, step, shuffle.
Ah, forget it. I'm never going
to be able to do that.
(laughs) Okay, I'll see
you tomorrow.
Alright.
(keys jangle)
(door creaks)
Pull. I said pull!
(door creaks)
JEFFREY: No, no.
(door creaks)
(sighs) Oh, Julia, just be
patient please.
(bump, table rattles)
George?
(creaking)
(murmuring)
-Oh, Jesus.
JULIA: Inhale.
Yeah, I'm inhaling,
believe me. Ugh!
Inhale Jeff. Come on Jeff.
Yeah, come on, come on.
Wait, wait, no.
Ooh! (laughs)
(sighs) No.
(Julia laughs)
Oh... Well hello!
Is that my jacket?
And my shirt?
Why are you wearing so many of
your mother's clothes?
God!
Why are you late?
Because I wanted to be... late.
What?
Have you been drinking?
Come on, come on, come on!
Alright, alright.
Julia, Julia. Julia?
They clearly don't fit.
Now, leave it.
Okay, sure.
Meanwhile, let's find out why
our son is home an hour late,
clearly drunk and wearing
all your clothes.
Oh, take the bloody
headphones off.
For fuck's sake.
What the hell is that?
Piercing.
Oh, it really suits him.
Oh yes, he absolutely suits
having an infected earlobe.
It's just fresh. Did it hurt?
Yeah, it's kind of...
Yeah. Don't touch it,
don't touch it.
-Oh.
-(whispers) I love it.
(whispers) Me too.
Clearly he didn't go alone.
(sighs)
Max got one too.
You guys are really hitting
it off, aren't you?
(grunt of exertion)
I'm so pleased.
-Yeah, well I'm not.
-Oh my God.
Because from where I'm standing,
he's clearly a bloody
awful influence.
Yeah.
I'm sorry Jeff, there's no way.
You're going to have to
wear your chinos.
Oh, do you know what?
Forget it, we're not going.
What? No, we missed
the last three.
Yes, and we will miss
the next three.
I am sick of you undermining me!
I am not undermining you.
Your trousers don't close.
I'm just saying...
I am talking about George!
What? So he's got his ear
pierced! It's his life!
Which he's ruining!
Yeah, well what about
our life, huh?
What about our marriage?
Don't be so dramatic Julia.
Okay, alright.
You know what,
I'm going on my own.
You can just stay here with
your fucking misery pants,
I don't care.
(mobile phone chimes
and vibrates)
(grumbling, door slams)
(pigeons cooing)
(click)
And she doesn't give a damn
about me
'Cos I'm just a
teenage dirtbag, baby
Yeah, I'm just a teenage
dirtbag baby
Listen to Iron Maiden, maybe
With me... Oooh
And he doesn't give
a damn about me
'Cos I'm just a
teenage dirtbag, baby
Yeah I'm just a teenage
dirtbag, baby
Listen to Iron Maiden maybe
With me
Oooh
Oh, yeah
Dirtbag
No, she doesn't know
what she's missing
Oh, yeah
Dirtbag
No, she doesn't know
what she's missing
Oh, yeah
Dirtbag
No, she doesn't know what
she's missing. Yeah.
Come on. Chop, chop.
Right, okay.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
eleven, twelve, thirteen...
BUTTON: Good!
You're all here.
Andy.
Button.
It's been a while.
Turtle Beach.
Turtle Beach.
Everyone, er, this is our host,
Donna Button.
Um, er, Donna, this is
our Year 11s.
Some of you
are probably thinking this trip
is going to be a bit of fun,
organised by your school in the
run-up to your GCSE exams.
This is training complex,
designed to push you
to your limits.
To help you achieve things
that perhaps you didn't think
you were capable of.
Stay alert!
Listen to instructions.
Welcome to Keldy Action Camp.
Not a place,
but a state of mind.
(whistle blows)
MISS ANDERSON: Right, okay.
Come on, let's go.
Turtle Beach.
(scoffs) Turtle Beach.
There was some mad tension
there, don't you think?
Mmm hmm.
Hey, Max.
This place is so
fucking lame, right?
Like, we're sixteen. (scoffs)
Do you smoke?
You definitely should.
Why?
You'd totally suit it.
(scoffs) I'm so sneaking out
tonight for one.
Come with?
Alone.
I'm good, thanks.
Okay.
Well, I'll text you when
I'm going for one.
-If you want to join me, then...
-He doesn't smoke.
Was I talking to you, cumstain?
Hey, back off.
Why do you even hang
out with him?
(scoffs) Is it like one
of those charities
where you adopt a donkey?
I would take him over you
any day.
God, take a joke.
(electronic music)
This... is not a canoe.
It's a kayak.
And there's a big difference.
Canoes are for sightseers
and poem readers.
This is an extreme sport.
Now, to give you an idea,
I've paddled this thing
down whitewater rapids.
GEORGE: I think it's the best
thing I've ever seen, ever, but
I think it's a bad idea
to annoy her.
BUTTON: Try paddling
against the current...
What are you so scared of?
BUTTON: ...while a grizzly swims
surprisingly fast behind you.
BUTTON: And that's just
the start.
You know, it's a shame really.
I mean, if she was actually cool
then she'd be the full package.
BUTTON: ...underwater.
But I'm not going to let you
guys anywhere near a kayak,
So if she was cool, she'd, like,
be your type then?
(whistle blows)
What is the greatest danger in
Keldy Action Camp? Anyone?
Boredom?
Nice one. Anyone else?
Hmm? You.
BUTTON: You are the most
dangerous object in this camp.
BUTTON: Any smokers
amongst us?
Don't think I have a type.
-Right, but you must, like...
BUTTON: You!
(whistle blows)
Chatty Cathy,
you're going to help me
demonstrate our first exercise.
Shallow end, now.
(whistle blows)
(splash)
BUTTON I'm not going to let you
guys anywhere near a kayak
until you've mastered this one.
(George gasps)
I need one more volunteer.
(sinister music)
(splash)
(water lapping)
(water lapping)
(water lapping)
You two,
this is a trust exercise
first and foremost,
but also a little
rough and tumble
to get you comfortable with
pushing those limits.
You alright, soldier?
Er...
I get it.
It's not for the faint-hearted.
But trust me,
the rewards are limitless.
I'll show you.
(exhales)
(exhales)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Oh... Oh God!
Oh, I've got you. It's okay.
(splash)
Have you, have you got your
foot in? Um...
Yeah, if you could just
help me get it?
Okay.
MISS ANDERSON: (laughs)
I've, I've always got you.
BUTTON: I've always got you.
-(clears throat)
BUTTON: With the right attitude,
and under my tutelage
you will conquer some of the
most dangerous stunts
in the kayaking world.
On my whistle,
Molly will perform an
underwater barrel roll
with George,
hold him under for a beat,
and then bring him
back up again.
On my mark.
(whistle blows, splash)
(bubbling underwater)
(splash, whistle blows)
What have I been saying this
entire time, hmm?
You flip this thing over close
enough to the edge,
you can crack someone's skull
open like a watermelon.
I've seen it.
I can't trust you in this pool.
Hit the showers.
(George sniffs)
(water lapping)
This... is a barrel roll.
(water splashes)
MISS ANDERSON:
What's going on, George?
Do you really want
to finish school
and have nothing to show for it?
I won't have nothing.
(birdsong)
The Leavers' Talent Show.
The... Sorry, the Leavers'
Talent Show?
What are you talking about?
I've signed up to it.
I'm going to prove to everyone
that I'm not a loser,
that I'm actually...
good at something.
Fine, fine. But, um,
after the show,
everyone will leave, George.
That's why they call
it the Leaver's Talent Show.
School will be over,
and the only important thing
remaining will be the work,
the grades, the exams
that will permanently
open or close doors
for the rest of your life.
I... I don't care.
No, you might not care now,
but you're sixteen years old.
Do you know what you're going
to feel in ten years' time?
You don't know how I'm going
to feel either.
(birdsong)
(sighs) I'm really not trying to
upset you, George, but
we've all been there.
We've all had to make
a difficult decision.
I made one,
and I can honestly say that...
yeah, that I made the
right choice.
Yeah, I'm the Head of
Key Stage 3
in one of the top fifteen
schools in West Yorkshire
and if I hadn't made
that difficult decision,
I would be, er,
frolicking in the sea,
doing nothing with my life.
No ladder to climb, no savings,
no security, just...
Wasting my life away
with...(sighs)
Just think about it, okay?
Never have I ever tried
sucking myself off.
Mate, can you ask one
we've actually done
so we can fucking drink?
Do you lot want to jump in?
Max, you do one.
Okay. Er...
Never have I ever...
fantasised about Molly Olson.
See that, that is a
good one.
(oohs from the group)
Mate, she is so fit!
Makes me so angry!
You want to...
Ah! (thumps table)
(laughter)
Your go.
Oh, er, okay. Er...
Never have I ever...
(clears throat)
Come on, man.
We're getting sober here.
Sorry. Er...
Never have I ever...
(sighs) kissed my own
reflection, just to practice.
What? No.
I would never fucking kiss
a boy, even if it's me.
Yeah, that...
That's, that's gay.
(clears throat)
Never have I ever...
(owls hooting)
(bed creaks)
(bed creaks)
(tinny music over
headphones)
(bed creaks)
(snoring)
(bed creaks)
(door opens)
(door shuts)
(rock music)
(tape recorder rewinds)
(door opens)
Have you noticed?
- Want a drink?
-Yeah.
Oh, great.
I've never been impressed
By your friends from New York
and London
I'll level accusations
like the press
'Til you realise that you've
dressed yourself in tatters
Because a man's needs,
man's needs
Are found on greed,
are found on greed
A man's needs
Oh-oh, oh-oh
(panting)
(footsteps)
-(bridge creaks)
GEORGE: Woah.
(bridge creaks)
(laughs) Stop, stop, Max. Stop.
(bridge creaks)
(beer can hisses)
(beer cans hissing)
(slurping)
Oh...
(gasps, laughing)
(splat)
(gasps, laughter)
(wiping)
Worth it?
Yeah.
(creak)
(kissing)
(kissing)
(camera click)
(gasp, running footsteps)
Hey!
(footsteps)
Max, wait.
(footsteps)
Max!
(panting)
Fucking journalist!
What, you saw them?
Who else?
No, no. No way,
not out here.
Look, don't worry.
It's really dark, anyway.
Let's just go.
I'm freezing.
(footsteps)
(birdsong)
(George sighs)
(creaking)
(creaking)
Sorry, I was a bit drunk.
(whispers) Don't worry,
it's fine.
(bedframe creaks)
Who do you think...
It doesn't matter.
Like you say,
it was probably too dark to
get a good picture, so...
Oh my God, have you
shit yourself?
(car engine and brakes)
(car door opens)
Text me later, yeah?
(car door shuts)
(engine revs)
(light music, door opens)
(door shuts)
(George sighs)
(synthesiser music)
George?
Can you come into the living
room for a minute, honey?
(footsteps)
How was your trip?
Why are you both sat like that?
Er, we, we just want
a quick chat, mate.
Er, do you want to...?
No, you go.
Okay, um...
(sighs)
Er, your mother thought that...
Um, well, no, we both thought
that while you were away,
it would be a good
opportunity to, um...
you know, do some
proper talking.
And you've probably noticed
that things have been a bit
tense around here recently.
And you know, that...
That's not healthy
for any of us.
JULIA: Now, there's no need
to worry, okay?
Your father and I have
just decided
to give each other
a bit of space.
Just a bit.
It's kind of like we're
going on holiday,
just separately, right?
(Julia inhales)
And then at some point
we will come back
from that holiday and...
And then we'll see.
Is it the earring?
Because I can take it
out now. It's...
No, no, George. It's not that.
Honey, it's not you.
ALAN: Hey.
(car horn)
(dog barking)
Just want to show you
something, huh?
(footsteps)
I think that's a bit tacky.
I wouldn't use it, but...
My editor disagrees with me
and he's going to publish it
in tomorrow's paper.
I haven't read the
article yet,
but apparently it
contains something
about a serious drug problem?
What? That's a complete lie.
Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
They just...
They won't listen to me.
(sighs) Look, I'm not a monster.
An innocent young man's
reputation is at stake,
and you have the chance to set
the record straight
before they publish
this rubbish.
You're his best friend,
aren't you?
I mean, you're his boyfriend?
-What do you want?
-Um...
-Your name, for starters.
-(dictaphone clicks)
George.
So, this photo of you
and Max Marvin,
were you on illicit substances
when this was taken?
No, definitely not.
Definitely not.
So, this is a photo of you
and Max Marvin,
and you are definitely
not on drugs?
Yes, no, we're...
No, we're not.
Surname?
Bobbin.
-Thank you, Mr. Bobbin.
-(dictaphone clicks)
You've shown your boyfriend
a great kindness.
-(letterbox rattles)
JULIA: Mmm.
JULIA: Mmm hmm.
-(George exhales)
-Yes, I am wide open tonight.
If you need a model,
I know a great guy.
Oh, yeah, Toby Long. Of course,
yeah. He's the one!
Mmm hmm.
Have a great day, sweetheart.
Mmm hmm.
(door opens)
(door shuts)
I'm sorry, I wanted to talk
to my son. (laughs)
Knew it.
-George!
-No, no, no...
-(camera clicks)
-George! George!
-Are you together?
-George!
Are you only in it
for the fame, George?
George, George!
George, have you met
the Marvins?
Excuse me.
Right, you can just stop
right there,
otherwise I'm calling
the police.
You need to move right now.
Bent twat.
(background chatter)
(tapping)
(flip phone clicks)
(phone chimes
and vibrates)
(toilet flushes, footsteps)
(background caf music)
(caf door opens, bell rings)
-(door closes)
-He said that...
The reporter said
they were going to do a story
about how you were on drugs,
and how you were going mad.
They said... They said I could
set the record straight,
- and I just...
-I'm leaving.
What? Where are you...
For how long?
I'm moving in with my dad.
I thought you liked it here?
My mum barely leaves her bed.
There's journalists everywhere.
At least in London I blend in.
I got it wrong, really wrong.
But just please, please...
Stay.
I need you here.
What do you need me for?
You're...
Well, for lots of things.
Yeah, like what?
Like, I can't play my...
What?
The school talent show?
Is that it?
No. No, no. Well, yeah.
No, that's...
What else, then?
Just tell me.
Why do you want me to stay?
You know...
(footsteps)
(caf door opens, bell rings)
(emotive music)
In one single moment,
your whole life can turn round
Stand there for a minute
staring straight into
the ground
Looking to the left slightly,
then looking back down
The world feels like it's
caved in, proper sorry frown
Please let me show you how
it could only just be for us
I can change and I can grow,
or we could adjust
The wicked thing about us
is we always have trust
We can even have an open
relationship, if you must
I look at her: she stares
almost straight back at me
But her eyes glaze over
like she's looking straight
through me
Then her eyes must have closed
for what seems an eternity
When they open up,
she's looking down at her feet
Dry your eyes, mate
I know it's hard to take but
her mind has been made up
(phone rings)
(phone rings)
I'm so sorry they
did this to you.
(phone rings)
Let it ring.
(phone rings)
Whoever it is can leave
a message, yeah?
(phone rings)
(answering machine beeps)
It's me. Um...
Just give me a call back.
Hey.
Yeah, yeah, he's here.
George?
Er, are you alright?
Well, I, er...I just
wanted, um...
Why didn't you tell us?
We're your parents,
you should have said.
(sign slams, tense music)
(tape recorder rewinds)
Adams?
Here, Miss.
-Bartlett?
-Here, Miss.
-Bobbin?
-(pupils laugh and jeer)
Enough.
George, see me afterwards.
Daniels?
It's a clich, but it's true...
today's news is tomorrow's fish
and chip paper.
Let me know if you
need anything.
Hey.
JEFFREY: Do you fancy a lift?
I can walk.
Oh, go on. I got off work early.
Your exams going okay?
Look, I never said, um...
about the newspaper.
-I didn't really handle it...
-It's okay.
Oh, for fuck...
Jesus Christ.
(rustling)
So, er...(sighs)
I, er, suppose...
you're gay then, huh?
I'm... I'm not judging,
by the way.
I'm, I'm not.
Um...
How long have you known?
I don't know.
I don't know if I...
(sighs)
Still...You're still figuring
stuff out. You know, that's...
That's fair enough. Um...
(sighs)
Look...
(exhales slowly)
I know I can be a bit
of a raincloud.
I mean, you probably think it's
because I don't understand you.
God, I hated school. (scoffs)
Hated being your age.
Never knew the right thing to
say, or the right thing to do.
Always seemed so easy for
everyone else.
It was frustrating. And that...
That feeling has never really
gone away for me.
So, when I see you going
your own way,
it scares me so much George
because I love you.
And I don't want to see
you unhappy.
But you do seem unhappy.
(sniffs)
It's just that you
were right, I...
This year was my year to figure
everything out.
I really thought...
I really thought I had.
It's too late now.
Oh...
It's never too late, mate.
Okay?
Never.
(car horn honks)
Oi, alright!
Wanker!
(keys jangle, car engine starts)
(sniffs)
Unbelievable.
- Bought a drum kit with...
-Hi.
...buy a record.
-Hi.
- Got poached by other guys...
If you have any washing, speak
now, or forever hold your peace.
Um, Dad gave me a lift home.
That's nice.
But that attitude just, just...
(dusts hands)
What's that?
It's a leaflet thing.
Music college, huh? Good idea.
(paper rustles)
I haven't heard you playing
much recently.
Shouldn't you be practising
for the show?
I'm dropping out.
Seems a waste after
all that work.
(basket creaks)
(footsteps)
(sighs)
It was a waste.
(clothes flap)
No-one cares, nobody listens.
I'm not good enough anyway.
You can't just roll into a ball
when things don't go
your way, George.
Things never go my way.
And they never will
if you give up.
You have to fight.
(scoffs) You don't fight.
Dad just drove off
and you're acting like...
(sighs)
You're just out here
doing the laundry.
(sighs)
I'm carrying on with my life.
Your father and I have
tried everything.
Everything.
And we're still trying,
because we love each other.
(sighs)
You try your best.
But ultimately, you just have
to get on with it.
If you want Max,
stop moping around
and go tell him.
And I'd better hear
that keyboard
at full fricking volume,
do you hear me?
(birdsong)
(clothes pegs rattle)
(cloth folds)
(cloth folding)
(cloth hits the basket)
(tape recorder clicks)
(tape recorder grinds)
I told you that my tapes were
like a journal,
but they're also a fantasy.
I used to imagine millions of
people tuning in,
hanging off my every word...
because they loved me.
Well this tape's just for you.
(tape recorder clicks
and clunks)
(cassette case snaps shut)
(envelope rustles)
(clunk on desk)
(applause)
(muttering)
Thank you. Thank you,
thank you, thank you!
Welcome all to the 2006
St. Sebastian Talent Show.
Now before we kick off,
I would like to address the
Year 11s directly.
School life has, in a way, been
your whole life up until now.
But after tomorrow,
you will step into a new,
much larger world,
where you will be responsible
for the choices you make.
Be bold, and remember:
'Patet Omnibus Veritas.'
'Truth lies open to all.'
Let the show begin!
(applause)
A student is an oak
tree seedling,
Planted delicately in the soil,
Protected from the pecking birds
of bad influence.
So I made this for my GCSE with
my new camera phone.
It's about nature and
stuff like that.
(remote control bleeps)
(projector screen rumbles
and squeaks)
-(football bounces)
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Woohoo!
(electronic dance music)
(electronic ambient music)
(projector screen rumbles
and squeaks)
(coughing)
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Woo!
-Ooh, ooh, ooh!
(electronic dance music)
(electronic ambient music)
So here's to all the memories,
School trips, discos and plays.
If you're sad to leave,
then you're an idiot,
And I hope you spend your life
in misery and regret.
(project hums then thuds)
-(groans) Oh...
-I don't mind!
-(electronic dance, applause)
-(electronic ambient music)
Misery and regret,
for the rest of your days.
(murmuring)
(one person clapping)
Thank you Polly.
Onwards! Er, now, next up
we have George Bobbin.
(applause)
(applause)
(table scrapes)
(table scrapes)
(speaker hums and buzzes,
feedback)
Here we go.
(clunky synthesiser music)
(laughter and murmuring)
(door opens and closes)
(audience murmuring)
(footsteps)
What the fuck are
you wearing? (scoffs)
(Max laughs)
Alright, okay.
Start from the beginning,
pick up the pace.
(tape recorder rewinds)
(tape recorder clicks)
There's a map I will follow
If you say the word, I'll go
-(synthesiser music)
Catch a flight out tomorrow
It's my future to unfold
No time, I won't think
about it
Shut my eyes and jump
in the deepest blue
Just say you're taking me
along with you
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh, yeah
I don't care 'bout
the baggage
I still want you I could cry
Like a knife causes damage
I'm alive in your disguise
I feel it when
we're together
Like a secret both of
us never knew
Just say you're taking me
along with you
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
He's actually alright.
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Woo!
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
(audience clap along)
Come on, baby
This could be a
very bad fun idea
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
(audience whooping and clapping)
Come on, baby
This could be a very bad
fun idea
(audience whooping and cheering)
JEFFREY: Come on!
MAX: Yes Jeffrey! Everyone!
(Julia laughs)
You reside in the moment
Then the world
changed overnight
You can't break
what is broken
But I want us to survive
I'll be there,
whatever happens
Meet me somewhere
I can be reckless too
Just say you're taking me
along with you
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
Thanks everyone! Woo!
(audience cheers and applauds)
You did it, you did it.
Oh!
(audience cheering, applauding
and whistling)
Woo!
(upbeat music)
(audience cheering and applause)
Give it up for George Bobbin
everyone! Woo!
(audience cheering and applause)
(car horn honks)
-(door opens)
-Oh, hey Button. (laughs)
(car door slams)
I love you, George!
(squeals) Oh God!
Oh... Oh, I'm so proud!
That took...
That took big balls.
-(laughs) Thanks Mum.
-Big, big balls!
-Mum... Mum, stop.
-Big balls!
It was amazing,
well done to you.
Thanks Dad.
Hey, I'd... I'd like you to guys
to meet someone.
(clears throat)
This is my dad.
Dad, this is George,
and George's mum Julia,
and George's dad Jeffrey.
Oh, sorry. I feel ridiculous
in these, but umm...
I didn't want to cause a stir
and I wouldn't have missed that
for the world. (laughs)
Hi!
Um... (giggles)
I'm a big fan!
-(giggles)
-Oh, thank you so much.
Er, yeah. Yeah, actually me too.
Okay.
-I'm a big fan.
MIKE: Thanks man.
And this is the famous George.
(laughs)
(whispers) He's cute.
Dad, stop! (laughs)
(giggles)
I think we should celebrate.
Espresso martinis,
what do you think?
Yeah, we've got to get up early,
but as long as we don't
have too many...
Er, yeah. Er, I...
Do you know what?
Um, I think I might've put my
back out a bit with the dancing.
Um, well, you, you...
You go, just have fun.
Proud of you.
Ooh!
Thank you, very tempted.
Um...
But I'm going to...
Yeah, I'm going to go.
I'm going to go be with
your dad, yeah.
I'm going to go, going
to go home.
Are you going to be okay
to make your way home?
-Yeah, course.
-(laughs) Yeah, okay.
Bye, bye, bye.
Um, I'm good...
Well done you.
-Wait, Mum. Are you...
-Mmm hmm, mmm hmm.
Bye.
(laughs) Your mum's great.
-Dad!
-(Mike laughs)
Um, hello Mr. Marvin.
Um, I'm Lucinda Shan,
I'm the headmistress here
at Saint Sebastian's School.
(laughs) And if I might say,
I'm a huge fan.
Well, thank you.
I, I wondered if you'd like
to explore me.
The... the school. The school
grounds are beautiful.
Would you like a tour?
-Yeah.
-Oh, great!
I'd love that.
I'll meet you out front
in ten minutes?
(laughs)
Have fun, boys.
I got your tape.
Very eclectic mix.
So, are you, um...
You're going back to
London, then?
But I mean, my mum's still going
to be here, so I'll be back.
-Oh, yeah.
STUDENT: Shit, it's Mike Marvin!
STUDENT: Honestly, here's here.
-Oh my god, Mike Marvin!
Let's get his signature.
I, I should probably go
and get him, before they do.
I'll text you, okay?
I think you should stay.
I want you to stay,
for the summer at least.
What do you want to do?
(kissing)
(kissing)
Dunno.
Go into town?
Mmm. (laughs)
We could get our
eyebrows pierced.
Alright.
(letters hit floor,
letterbox clanks)
Come on, honey, we've gotta go.
We're going to be late.
Beep, beep, beep!
-(footsteps)
-Okay, my love.
Um, so, there is money there on
the side for Thai food or pizza.
-Anything you want, okay?
-Sorry, sorry, sorry.
-Okay?
-You look amazing.
Mmm, so do you!
Okay, you all good?
-Er, yeah.
-Yeah? Okay, okay, okay.
That flamenco's not going to
dance itself, let's go!
-Oh!
-See you later.
-(front door slams)
-Bye.
(George sighs)
(tearing letter open)
(synthesiser music)
There's a map I will follow
If you say the word, I'll go
Catch a flight out tomorrow
It's my future to unfold
-(laughter)
Long time, I will
think about it
Shut my eyes and jump
in the deepest blue
Just say you'll take me along
with you
(door creaks and shuts)
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
I don't care about
the baggage
I still want you,
I could cry
Like a knife causes damage
I'm alive in your disguise
I feel it when
we're together
Like a secret both of
us never knew
Just say you're taking me
along with you
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
A very bad fun idea
It was a certain moment
When the world
changed overnight
You can't break what
is broken
But I want us to survive
I'll be there
whatever happens
Meet me somewhere I can
be reckless too
Just say you're taking me
along with you
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
It's a very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
Come on, baby
This could be a very
bad fun idea
A very bad fun idea
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah