Bootyology (2023) Movie Script

[upbeat pop music plays]
There's a harmonious balance
between music
and technology...
dating back
to Jeff Hill in the '50s.
Today, with synthesizers,
MIDI, and machines like the CMI,
the possibilities are limitless.
Mark my words.
One day,
with artificial intelligence,
computers will even write music.
[Kaela] AI hasn't really
gotten there yet
for computers
to write their own music
but with sequencers
and samplers like this MPC60,
a person
can make arrangements
that would have taken
an entire orchestra before.
[anchor] A digital
audio workstation
gives you everything you need
to record an album.
And you can do it
from a laptop.
[woman] It's the democratization
of music.
And you don't even need
a big expensive studio to do it.
Any teenager
in his mom's basement
can record
a platinum selling album.
[presenter] At this point,
listeners are overwhelmed
with content.
The challenge now is finding
what the next big thing will
What companies
like mine are doing
with artificial intelligence
is really the culmination
of technology and music,
where we can use metrics
on listener behavior
and interest
to find
the next music superstar.

Oh, boy.
Well, I want to say it started,
you know, in the--
the turn of the century,
when smartphones
really-- really took off.
And here we are in 2021,
and you can't mention
really anything without,
you know, being fed, uh,
marketing attempts, you know?
Pretty interesting, right?
Artificial intelligence
is cool in theory.
I like the way
that it's going,
but I feel like something
about that human interaction
and actual people is,
you know,
where the heart is,
and I feel like that's the truth
and that's the soul.
But I really think
that there's room for both.
I think it's gonna have both,
I just...
I don't see
AI taking over.
AI has already worked its way
into content creation.
Google has Magenta Project,
and Sony has Flow Machines.
You see,
we have an exclusive license
to the Mystic Canyon algorithms,
which is gonna catapult us,
put us ahead of the game,
and you'll see everybody
behind us playing catch up.
Uh, so my name
is Linus Van Lynes.
I am the CEO,
uh, head developer,
creator of Mystic Canyon.
We've already had
so much success with them,
like, version two
was our Lil Program,
where we found
all the Lils, you know?
And we based it
on the three main Lils
which was Lil Jon,
Lil Wayne, and Lil' Kim.
And then from there,
we got all these awesome Lils.
Lil Uzi Vert,
Lil Dicky, Lil Jimmy,
Lil Jimmy Dicky,
Lil, uh, Xan.
Hip-hop and R&B
accounted for nearly a third
of all streams
in the United States.
And I know hip-hop,
we're trying to take
the guesswork out of it,
and that's simply the goal.
We believe that--
that there's a gold mine
of music out there,
from, like, the '90s,
early 2000s of bands that, uh,
didn't get a shot or were,
uh, maybe ahead of their time.
We're on version 13.
Unlike other,
uh, algorithms and--
and programs
that we've had before,
this one goes
for that band or artist
that you don't know about,
but they could have been
a thing.
So, maybe they had
a small record deal,
maybe they had
something happening,
they have some kind of footprint
online that we can find,
and boom, access it,
and gold for Capitol Records--
more gold.
What we like to say
in Mystic Canyon is,
"It doesn't write the songs,
but it rights the wrongs."
That's pretty--
that's pretty cool, right?
And right now,
we are essentially
in a beta run.
And we have assigned
our most talented,
uh, A&R rep, Kaela Snoot,
you know, to handle the reins.
Everything Mystic Canyon
goes through me.
Um, I am the point person.
I report to my boss, Logan.
Um, I also report to Linus,
which is different
and a little strange.
But I guess that's just,
you know,
the way things are going,
and they're pushing that way
and, uh,
I'm just here
to get the job done, honestly.
I grew up in that era
of '90s hip-hop,
probably the best era
of hip-hop, in my opinion.
Snow, "Informer."
I don't know what he's saying,
That one-- [babbling]
Whatever, uh, but,
you know, it was-- it was a hit.
I'm a product
of artificial insemination.
So, if you want to talk
I feel confident
that I'm your guy.
Yeah, I think
that we might have an issue.
Um, it's been acting wonky,
I don't know
if it's a glitch.
I could show you
if you wanna see it.
-[interviewer] Please.
-Do you wanna see it? Okay.
All right, so,
can you guys see it?
Every-- yeah?
Okay, cool, so, hmm...
all right.
Gonna be-- and then...
The Booty Boys,
like, what's that?
It makes no sense. Watch.
No address, no phone number,
no management, nothing.
This isn't the weird part.
Watch. Search again.
And it just keeps showing
The Booty Boys.
No matter how many times
I click through it,
it just does this,
it has no info.
I've googled everything,
I've looked it up,
I've gone through every, I've--
oh, I've gone through it,
and the only thing
I could find
is that they were with HBR,
with some sort of--
it was a record label.
Yeah, that's what--
that's what we got.
You know, I typed in
the different demographics,
I tried ages,
I tried anything
to get some other response,
but it keeps coming back
to The--
The Booty Boys.
You wanna know
about The Booty Boys?
Everything you need to know
about The Booty Boys...
right here.
is the truth.
Bootyology is the future.
I want to tell you one word.
Good luck. [laughing]
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
Booty boys on booty duty
[girl] You gotta say hi!
Hi, Booty Boys.
I love your ass.
Bend over, Red Rover
Send your booty right over
Bend over,
[indistinct lyrics]
[indistinct lyrics]
[indistinct lyrics]
What did-- what did you
want to know, my occupation?
Music business.
I had a label.
Horse Butt Records.
Through their manager,
Sid Kojack.
It's Kolchak.
I'm gonna--
I'm not gonna lie to you,
that is not my--
not my birth name, Kolchak.
My birth name was,
uh, Tony Curtis.
The stage show wa--
is what hooked me in
and the music.
Booty, booty in my face
Flyest booty
in this place
Shake that booty
round and round
Wanna smack that booty
make this sound
[crowd cheering]
Yeah, yeah
You know,
brownEye and sixxxHole,
tremendous presence.
Who are The Booty Boys?
SixxxHole and brownEye.
That can't be right.
As a child,
he was not called sixxxHole.
His name was Spencer.
brownEye, uh, his name is Chris.
Originally I had found out
that they were a fan
of my music,
which, um,
wasn't super surprising
'cause a lot of people
were at that time.
I saw these guys at a show,
their knowledge of the booty
mesmerized me,
and I was like,
"I gotta meet these guys."
I was a mentor to them,
you know?
I was like that cat
from Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
I was that one.
I'm not good with years,
or linear thought so much.
So, I-- I think I--
I don't remember how we met,
because there was
a lot of drugs back then.
My apartment
was getting fumigated
and, uh,
after a couple hours
I-- I had to
get out of there.
So, uh,
I went down to the old block,
and, uh, I was just
kind of hanging out,
and these two guys
are outside,
right next
to my Pontiac Sunfire.
All right?
And they are making some noise.
And I'm like,
"You guys gotta get out of here.
This is a strip mall."
They were freestyling.
I didn't even know
what freestyling was, okay?
But they were doing it,
and they were doing it great.
I know a thick girl
by the name of Joann
She got a booty so big
'bout the size of Japan
My name is Doctor G.
Heathcliff Lawrence.
The G is for gangster.
Or Gary.
I was a participant
in The Booty Boys stage show
for several years.
They called me
"The Professor."
Uh, there wasn't much
for me to do.
I couldn't dance,
I'm no good at rap,
so I sat down,
and I read a book.
The Booty Boys
heard about me
because of a book I had written
called Booty Hunters.
It's about pirates.
I was Bootytron 9000.
What is Bootytron 9000?
Well, you're looking at him
right here.
Give it up
for the Bootytron 9000.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
I was a robot.
I was the top stripper robot
in the town.
In The Booty Boys,
I was queen Bootytifah.
I was sometimes a dancer,
sometimes a backup singer,
and always a performing artist.
We would have
additional performers
like the Bootytron
and The Professor on stage,
and I would engage with them
as well.
And usually in a,
uh, sexual-seeming,
uh, provocative way,
uh, extremely sinful.
Uh, they put an ad out.
I believe it might have been
in the Pennysaver,
uh, looking for dancers,
and at the time,
I was a classically trained
and I was looking to,
uh, find more opportunities
in the film world,
using my skills and talents.
It was unpaid,
but they were offering nachos,
and I like nachos.
The-- I believe it was
the "Rootie Tootie" video.
And that's the first time
that I was introduced
to sixxxHole and brownEye.
Ain't that booty
feel all right?
Rootie Tootie
smack that booty
Hit that booty
every night
Rootie Tootie
smack that booty
It's the Booty boys
back with another booty jam
Got a booty in my face
and a booty in my hand
Hoes on the dance floor
and I mean all you
And you can bring your mama
cuz she got a booty too
I wanna see that booty,
shake, shake, shake
Don't care if it's real
or if it's fake
The booty's gotta jiggle
and the booty's gotta bounce
It's gotta be available
in large amounts
I wanna see booty
coming from all sides
Take that booty
and go for a ride
Have a different ass
for each day of the week
Write my schedule
on the buttcheeks
So when I rolled up
on my buddies,
th-- th--
they couldn't believe it,
they said there's a robot
walking towards us.
Uh, I don't know...
why you'd give a robot
that much power.
I've seen what they can do,
all right?
They ruin people's lives.
Have you heard of Turbotax?
No, but for The Booty Boys,
he was real.
And we needed to keep
that belief going in them.
I believe
The Booty Boys thought
Bootytron 9000
was a real robot.
Am I a real robot?
Are you trying
to get me to cry?
There was separation.
There was Terry...
and there was Bootytron 9000.
They saw me as Terry.
"Homeboy Terry. Hey, what's up?"
You know what I'm saying?
And they told me
about Bootytron.
There was one
particular conversation,
they were like,
"Yo, we got this robot,
you gotta meet him."
And I'm going, "It's me."
They thought I was a real robot,
to answer your question.
I think that the future was,
kind of bright for--
for the fellas.
it wasn't my cup of tea,
but from the reactions
of the crowds at their shows,
it seemed like
everyone was into it.
I'd let them know
some of the...
incidents I saved them from.
The random girls...
throwing peas...
onto the stage
or wanting to,
and I had to restrain them.
They'd get mad at me,
actually, about that.
Um, "Why-- why didn't you
let them throw the peas?"
I mean peas.
It was like seeing Jesus,
you know?
And I saw
a great marketing opportunity.
You gotta think of marketing.
You gotta think
of your name being out there.
So, you just put these stickers
on every booty in the club.
Spank, spank, spank
spank, spank, spank, spank.
Booty Loops!
Ah! Booty Loops!
Toilet paper,
that's obvious.
You want clean booty, right?
Looking at companies
like Amazon and stuff now,
Booty Boys
could have done that.
They could have done
all of that.
Like, you know,
a penis shaped rocket going up?
imagine an ass shaped rocket,
they would have done that
and they would have--
it would have been incredible.
[Rick] The sky
was the limit for them.
I'm kinda sick about it,
You know,
it was pretty tragic for me
to think that he was gone.
And-- and then I lost
my husband who was...
a big supporter and just,
you know,
was right there,
pushing him on.
There was a certain amount
of destiny involved
with what they were doing.
And then on another level,
there was no destiny.
You know what they say?
Music is a game of inches.
I'm telling you,
The Booty Boys were coming
to kill the whole
music industry.
Who the fuck
were these two dudes
coming out of nowhere?
I mean, The Booty Boys
were just a storm.
They really were.
They were a perfect storm.
It-- it was-- I was, uh,
I was Mark Wahlberg
on a fucking boat,
and here came the wave
of The Booty Boys,
and they just fucking
completely wiped out my ship.
Music was gonna be fun again,
and it was gonna
unite the world.
They were gonna bring peace
to this earth.
But that's not gonna happen now,
is it?
In the pantheon
of white rappers,
who rap exclusively
about women's backsides,
The Booty Boys
unquestionably rank
in the top 15.
I really hoped that one day
we would be best friends.
Like, uh, like Ben Affleck
and-- and cocaine.
I thought they had
a lot of potential.
That's why I stuck around
with them for so long.
They had great beats
and though the lyrics
were definitely questionable
and problematic..., they were catchy.
I don't know, he just had
this thing about butts,
and I never quite
understood it,
'cause his dad
was a tit man.
"Death star booty
is what I'm getting busy in,
blowing up that ass
like Lando Calrissian."
[whispering] Poetry.
Death star booty
is what I'm getting busy in
Blowing up that ass
like Lando Calrissian
She got so much booty,
the Goonies are like, damn
Name is Lucy, big and juicy
like a Christmas ham
It's not music.
Music is Frank Sinatra
and Tony Bennett
and Lady Gaga.
They had this thing
where, like,
"Don't want no stanky booty."
I think that was the line.
And then did this little thing
with their hand.
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
Don't want no...
I think I'm confusing
the Karate Kid movies.
Did I have a favorite song
or favorite lyric?
[police dispatcher]
Attention all available units
we have a 4817--
What, are you nuts?
Of course I did.
Of course I did.
That's like asking,
"Do you have a favorite 1099?"
Yeah, of course I do.
I work at H&R Block.
Let's just say,
the music was interesting to me.
And all you can do
is stare at me
While your girl
hands her underwear to me
I know
why you're scared of me
You can't even
be compared to me
But you better be ready
to share with me
'Cause I'm all about
[indistinct lyrics]
You better
watch your back
Grab that booty
'Cause it's a booty jack
Grab that booty
"Spank me." Great track.
Great track, classic track,
classic Booty Boys.
"Acting all nasty,
but looking all nice,
you make me go along
like I was Jerry Rice."
I've heard of Jerry Rice.
This song is relatable.
There's a song called
I think it was B-O-O-T-Y
and then I would say,
"Oh, my."
Oh, my
You had to be there, I guess,
but, um,
that was very fun.
"Triple lutz
in the asscapades,
and triple butts
in the ass parade,"
is really...
I mean--
Uh, my favorite
of the least favorite,
I guess,
if you put it that way,
songs would, um,
would have to be, uh...
"B-Hole Rangers."
But my favorite
is "Booty Hole Rangers."
[grunts] 'Cause I consider them
They're, like,
godlike, those guys, man.
"Booty Hole Rangers,"
of course.
Got your booty like elastic
Mr. Fantastic
hitting the spot
How hot can that ass
get on the dance floor?
Rubbing your butt
is my dingaling
I could feel
my booty sense tingling
It was my idea
to record the album in Arizona.
They were like,
"Let's do it in LA with all--"
and I said,
"No, you don't want that.
You don't want--
what you have to do
is get your head
out of the game,
to get your head
in the game."
And now, sure,
in the middle of summer,
it was too hot.
But these guys
were so passionate
that they--
they would have recorded in a--
in a Bikram yoga studio.
Everything's gone.
The recordings are gone.
The dub tapes are gone.
The monies around "Bootyology,"
the production costs,
everything, seized.
The Federal Bureau
of Investigations
is looking for me.
Now, they accused me
of doing a Fonzi scheme.
It was not a Fonzi scheme.
This was a legitimate label.
It was my life.
I had passion around that.
But with Rick,
I always got the feeling
I wouldn't--
it's not like
I wouldn't take my wallet
if I left the room
with him,
but he's the kind of guy
I would not leave
my wallet around.
I signed these boys.
The fact that they disappeared
a year later,
just a coincidence.
They had this crazy,
uh, super fan...
that I think killed them.
He does my taxes now.
Uh, this one
is taken from a distance.
These are, uh--
this is a night lens.
All right?
You saw the stuff,
like, in--
like in movies.
Like in Predator.
Uh, you see stuff like this.
I don't know who I am,
if I'm using that movie
as a reference,
I'm not sure
who I am in that.
Yes, I am familiar
with the head of the fan club,
It's a, um, difficult topic
to speak about, but...
Kevin was unpredictable.
was someone
I always had to be aware of.
It would always surprise me.
You know,
someone's nighttime routine.
You know,
when they brush their teeth,
do they gargle,
do they do some push-ups
before they go to bed,
stuff like that.
brownEye and sixxxHole,
they were very normal,
unless they felt like
they were being watched,
and then they got a little cagey
and a little timid,
uh, and then
they would close their doors
and windows and blinds
and that would be it for me.
At every show,
every show...
Kevin was there.
I didn't want to
let the fellas on,
let them know that--
what type of potential danger
they were in,
I wanted them to continue
doing their job
to the best of their ability,
so that I could do mine
to the best of my ability.
but this Kevin character...
he was a handful.
Uh-- ooh, finally! Ooh.
This is one of the big ones.
This is a restraining order
against me from them.
I'll admit, I take
as a bit of a compliment...
because they were always like,
"Hey, make sure
you're at least 50 yards."
You know? Stay close.
Because if we need you,
we want you nearby.
So, I was always like,
"50 yards, you got it, buddy.
I'll be there.
I'll be there."
I don't know-- I don't know
what happened to them.
I really don't know, I--
I certainly did everything
I could to find them.
I hope they were murdered.
I mean,
I think that would have been
just the easiest,
uh, to deal with.
They become legends,
at that point.
Who doesn't want to be
a legend?
I wish I was murdered.
I think they ascended
to the bootyverse.
I think
they were last seen
at Budthoulz.
It's in the valley,
I don't know
if you've ever been.
The last reported sighting,
I believe,
was at Budthoulz,
which is a bar in the valley.
I believe the last time
they were seen was in Budthoulz.
It's in the valley.
Not that difficult.
People couldn't pronounce it,
so we had to change the name.
And here you find yourself.
I've been coming to Budthoulz
for about 20 years.
The booty what?
And I would see
The Booty Boys.
Wha-- I-- I got things to do.
What-- what are we doing here?
The night they disappeared,
they were celebrating something.
I wasn't really
paying attention.
I was drinking.
Uh, I remember
there was a lot of festivities
going on.
There was,
well, there was--
there was a couple
of particular dudes
that were
at the end of the bar and--
Later that night,
I married brownEye...
to a girl.
They were giving
each other shots,
they were interacting.
They-- they were very loud.
And that's the last
I saw of them.
[dramatic melody plays]
Well, I do have a,
uh, a third walk-in in the back.
I put all my old German beer
back there and my Zima.
-We do.
-[suspenseful music plays]
-Come this way.
Here we go.
And the third walk-in.
And, uh, I got my Zima.
Whoa! Whoa!
-[interviewer] What? Oh, my God.
-[Tony] What is this?
-What the fuck is this?
-[interviewer] Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's them. It's them. It's them.
Oh, my God.
[Tony] Be careful
with my Zima, man.
[interviewer grunts] Quick.
-[Tony] Fuck this, dude.
-[interviewer] Move it.
[Tony grunting] Okay.
[interviewer] Hang on, I got it.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Wait. They're alive!
Oh, my God! They're alive!
[suspenseful music plays]
You guys, this is so cool.
I am so excited
to finally meet you guys.
I am Kaela Snoot,
Capitol Records, A&R.
You got trapped
inside of a walk-in cooler,
and then we found you
frozen inside of Budthoulz.
Right, so,
today is April 20th, 2021.
It's been 15 years
since anyone saw you guys.
You guys are 40 now.
So, I've listened
to some of your guys' old stuff.
They sing about butts.
They sing about butts
in every song.
We gotta catch you up
on some things.
We don't say "bitch" anymore.
We have pronouns.
We got her/she,
him/he, them/they,
but them/they is, like,
singular, not the plural.
Only grandmas
and conspiracy theorists
use Facebook.
Up your butt
You missed
the first Black president
and the first orange president.
All she did was sing
the word "Friday" a lot,
and we destroyed her for it.
Up your butt
But all the white people
were like, "All lives matter."
He still looks exactly the same
as he did in Clueless.
Up your butt
It's called
cultural appropriation.
It was fucking blue and black,
not white and gold.
Up your butt
And that's the basic history
of the MeToo movement.
So, they put
all the old white people brains
inside of the Black people.
People just watch other people
play video games now.
RIP Harambe.
And that's called mansplaining.
I think these guys
need to go to the hospital.
I think you're right.
I'm excited.
This is gonna be great.
she's brought me up to speed.
Uh, that The Booty Boys were,
you know, frozen for 15 years.
But our algorithms found them
and I, you know,
I-- I trust them.
I trust Kaela.
You know, we're going to
make them the sensation
that I believe
that they will be.
The Booty Boys are found.
Uh, Mystic Canyon works--
of course it works.
Uh, we're so excited,
I've had
a little bit of trouble, like,
trying to travel to them,
a couple of missed flights,
but I got
this dope ride, and...
-[engine revving] here we go.

What's up?
Welcome to my house.
Come on in.
So, I've been living
in this house
for a couple of days now.
Um, it's kind of
a weird story.
I was frozen,
as you know, right?
Um, but in my pocket,
I found this.
Um, I showed it to the people
at the hospital
and they were like, "Yo,
that's a marriage certificate.
You're married."
And they, uh,
contacted the court,
found out
that my wife lives here
and community property
or whatever.
This is my kitchen.
Stay out of the kitchen.
I got my very own,
um, one of them things,
where you, uh,
you put your balls
in all them holes.
-Don't touch the pool table.
This is where
the magic happens.
-Absolutely not!
-What are you doing in here?
-[brownEye] What's up!
-This is where it's going down.
New wife!
Hey, welcome!
Welcome to my crib.
Check it out.
It's a little cozy, um,
but this is where
I'm living at right now,
it's pretty--
it's pretty great.
I got, um, this is the--
this is the bathroom.
I got, you know, it comes
with, like, a toilet brush,
a plunger, another plunger,
it's, like,
two different, like, options
because you gotta have options,
Um, I got a nice--
uh, this is a trash bin,
and then I got my kitchen,
this is, like, my kitchen setup.
This is where I'm making
my sandwiches,
I'm doing
all my creative ideas,
I got water running
hot and cold, both.
I got a drawer, um, I can keep
all my stuff in there.
This is my bedroom right here.
This is where I-- where I sleep.
This is where I kick it,
where the magic happens,
if you know what I mean.
Um, I'm gonna just
get this out of the way,
this is like, uh,
it's like kind of like
that Eddie Murphy bed,
it just kind of goes right back.
Um, and then this is
the real deluxe spot right here,
this is the studio,
this is where
I have been working
on all my tracks.
The keyboard is not--
it doesn't, like,
have a memory or anything,
but, like,
I keep the memories up here.
And then, like,
when I got the good ideas
and that's-- that--
I'm just like,
I just got it going.
Um, and then
when I got the vocal ideas,
I come over right over here.
Check it out,
this is my vocal booth
AKA the shower, AKA the closet.
Um, it kind of does it all,
it's just like
a really deluxe,
multi-purpose space that, um,
is-- is working out
great for me.
I'm-- I'm, you know,
I really like where I'm at.
Yeah, that's...
that, uh, looks like
a real marriage certificate
is what that looks like.
It looks like a...
yeah-- so.
[sighs] Yeah.
When your husband--
let's just get this straight.
I-- you could say
I'm married to two men,
or you could say, "Oh,
she did this thing one night
at a bar,
having dr-- been drinking
and made a choice
and then he disappeared."
In this neighborhood,
there's, like,
a lot of really cool
new things.
There's a lady
that sells, um, donuts
out of the back of her
Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme.
Um, it's like
an art supply store
and they only sell
red paint.
There's a guy and he sells,
um, yo-yo strings,
but no yo-yo's,
and it's like,
you gotta, like,
figure that rest out
for yourself.
I thought maybe
he could kick him out.
You know what I mean?
As my husband,
it feels like
the logical next step
would be to kick out
my other husband.
We'll figure it out.
No, I mean, see, that's
a wishy-washy answer, Brock.
I'm not-- I need--
I-- like, I need a plan.
He's my buddy.
It's gonna be tough.
I don't wanna do it.
Brock's dope. Brock's dope.
I swear to God,
if I were gonna marry
another woman,
who had another husband
in addition to me being
her husband,
I would hope that that woman,
her husband was Brock.
You know, I've been--
been working, um,
as a sandwich artist.
Um, not-- not at Subway,
but-- but, like,
I'm independent sandwich artist,
so, it's like more--
there's more artistry to it.
Um, apparently,
there was, like, a raccoon
that lived here before me.
Um, but then,
and now I'm-- I'm here,
and, like, I get to, um,
go into, like, the garden,
and, like, pick vegetables.
Um, like,
they said that was cool,
because the raccoon
also did that.
So, like, I get to,
like, pick vegetables
and put it-- I get to
make them into sandwiches.
Um, so that's pretty tight.
The album was called
I don't have
a super clear recollection
of recording the album.
I know
that we went to Arizona.
That shit was fire.
That shit was hot.
Um, and the music
was good too.
I'm a little disappointed
with what happened
with the album.
Um, I'm pretty sure,
like, it was,
like, an instant classic.
It made me really sad
to hear that, um,
Rick is, um, you know...
some sort of
criminal mastermind,
and the, um, CIA or whatever
has our record.
No one's ever gonna hear it.
It-- it just, like,
is in a vault somewhere,
in, like,
the government, or whatever,
with, like, the--
the Ark of the Covenant.
Are my lyrics misogynistic?
Mis-- I don't know
what you're saying.
Yo, I'm having sex
with my new wife, Becky.
All the time.
Dude, she's crazy, too.
We are never having sex.
She's shy.
[whispering] We're this close.
I-- I wanna reach out
to brownEye but, like,
I-- I don't have
a charger for my phone,
so, like,
it's not working and, like,
I don't know how else to--
to get ahold of him.
I tried to call sixxx.
Um, Becky gave me,
um, her phone.
Well, I-- so, I wouldn't say
she gave it to me,
but I found it,
and I tried to use it and, um...
so, phones now,
they're just--
have you seen that shit?
There's like, it's--
there's nothing on it.
So, there's no--
there's actually no way
to make a call on them
I haven't talked to anybody
except, like,
when I walk by here,
and I got this place.
No, I haven't talked
to my mom.
Like, I don't even know--
I don't know if she knows
that like--
Yeah-- I-- can I-- can I--
can I borrow a charger
or something?
Do you guys have--
do you--
-[interviewer] Yes.
If I had to think about,
like, what my dad wanted...
[sniffles] my pops, like,
he said, you know,
"You-- you always
gotta be strong, um...
and, like, carry yourself
like a-- a president."
And, uh, he also said
that all
the presidents' nicknames
were about their dicks.
I mean, you know...
once a booty boy,
always a booty boy.
So there's no,
you know, do I want to return
to The Booty Boys?
I'mma-- I-- it's--
I'm returned already.
Um, but, you know,
sometimes you gotta,
you know, take a--
take a look at your life, um,
and your pool
and all your stuff,
and be, like, "Maybe--
maybe this is where I am,
you know?
Maybe this is where I belong."
I feel like
I am 100% a booty boy,
and I don't think
that I need to return.
I feel like
I am still living it,
I'm breathing it,
I am it.
And I'm...
I'm-- I just can't wait
to get in the studio,
I don't know
how that's gonna happen.
I mean, obviously,
I got a studio here,
but, like, maybe something
that has a microphone.
And then-- and then,
yeah, I mean, I'm-- I'm ready.
I'm ready.
I got the ideas going.

So, we've been running around,
because we just got
The Booty Boys' contract.
So, we're excited,
feeling positive.
It was expensive, but, uh,
we'll be in the studio tomorrow.
Feels like,
you know, part of...
my brain is, you know,
maybe still frozen a little.
But, um, you know,
I can use
all my arms and legs.
I feel like
my mind is a little foggy.
Um, you know,
I think it's probably
just 'cause I didn't sleep well,
like, my living situation
isn't 100% ideal.
I miss him.
I'm-- I miss my pool at home
also, though,
and my hot new wife.
I mean, for me,
it's, you know,
I-- I wanna get out
of that bathroom.
I'll just be straight up.
It's like
a triangle of emotion.
And Brock,
so it's like a triangle
with four sides.
I'm really excited
to see brownEye.
I mean, like, we--
we are, like, best friends
and bros
and like father and son
all rolled into one.
For the first few days,
Becky was really standoffish.
Like, she didn't seem
to really want me around.
He's like a lyrical genius,
you know?
His-- his flow
and his word play is amazing.
This morning she told me
she wants to do anal.
He's like, you know...
three in a row
I'mma be a X
if you be my hoe
She gave me this,
which, um...
I think it's one of those
consent forms
that, um,
Kaela was talking about.
We could add one mo'
and we could connect fo'
Because I'm pretty sneaky,
When I slip in
the back door
This is the--
the decree of analment,
which means, uh,
once I sign this,
you know, it's on.
What's up?
So, what do you got
for the new album?
A'ight, so,
I was thinking of a song
about a really big butt.
And I'm gonna call it,
"Really Big Butt."
Oh, that's the whole idea?
Yeah, it's gonna be dope.
I mean, that's a great start.
That is a great start,
but this has to be the greatest
rap album of all time.
Can't it just be
a rap album of all time?
Couldn't Pablo Picasso
just painted the ceiling
of the 16 chapels white
and called it a day?
Couldn't Bruce
What's-his-face been like,
"No worries,"
and not turned into the Hulk?
The only reason
we remember those guys' names
is 'cause they did
something great.
Like that one chick
and those 500 dudes.
Sometimes you gotta paint
a bunch of babies on the ceiling
or on someone's face,
for people to give you respect.
-It's gonna be great.
-[sixxxHole] How do you know?
Because our old music
was great,
so, our new music will--
Oh, I just had a great idea!
What if we just
take our old songs
that never came out,
and put those out?
-That shit was hella tight.
-Oh, that's tight!
-Tight! Let's do it.
[R&B beat playing]
I want to do you
in the booty hole
I mean,
that's like a little,
like, it's a--
it's-- it's-- it's cool,
like, it's a little,
like, forward.
Like, maybe we--
maybe we just, like,
let's check out
what else we got.
All the ladies love me
like they love Bill Cosby
Bill Cosby, Bill Cosby
Ladies love me
like they love Bill Cosby
Bill Cosby, Bill Cosby
Ladies love me
like they love Bill Cosby
Have you read anything
-about what's happening now?
-[brownEye] With what?
With-- all right, I mean,
let's just-- that one--
that's just, like,
I'm gonna be a pass on that one.
-We'll put a pin in that one.
-[sixxxHole] Yeah.
-The next one.
-All right.
This one's-- this is it.
This is it.
-There it is. There it is.
-It's like that--
Booty Boys
[sixxxHole] Yeah.
The hills are alive
like Christopher Plummer
Never gonna die
like Christopher Plummer
Never say goodbye
and never say never
Like Christopher Plummer
we gon' live forever
I mean...
That, that's it.
Yeah, I mean,
let's-- you know what?
I got an idea.
Let's just--
let's just hold up on those.
Let's make some of that
2020 future shit.
Oh, shit! Future shit!
[wonky beat plays]
This is not good.
There's all these
different colors,
they gotta do-- do something.
Yeah, like, I just been nudging,
I was, like,
trying to nudge that shit,
but it would not--
it wouldn't nudge
into something good.
-[drum plays]
-Oh! [laughs]
There it is,
there it is, there it is.
[wonky beat plays]
That shit is not--
that's not-- that's not it.
Start over. Start over.
All right, here we go.
-Oh, oh! [laughs]
-Okay, okay.
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, let me just turn
my semitone up.

Oh, shit!
Yes, that's getting there.
Yeah, I think
this is the shit, man.
All right, so why don't you
get in the booth
and spit some of that fire
-like you used to do.
-Come on.
No, I'll get in the booth
and, uh,
I'll spit some of that fire
like I used to do,
back in--
when we used to do it.

She thinks
she knows who I am
I'm a booty OG
Put a booty on my face
Like a booty
[indistinct lyrics]
Hey, yo, uh,
what was that last line?
She thinks she knows who I
I'm a booty OG
Yeah, yeah, and then what--
what's after that?
She puts a booty
on my face
Like a booty mustache
Did you forget how to rhyme?
What? No. No.
If you know how to rhyme,
all right,
just rhyme with whatever word
I say right now, okay?
-Let's do it.
-Okay. Ass.
-[sixxxHole] Shake.
this is a fucking problem.
What are we supposed to do?
Um, wait, wait.
Okay, hang on.
The dudes are always talking
about mumble rap.
So, why don't you just
mumble some shit, right?
Like, try, like--
Yo, let's do it.
All right. Here we go.
[beat playing]
-That's fire.
-That's that future shit, man.
-That's that future shit.
-Future shit.
Oh, yeah.
So, people, like,
they don't even use Google
to search anymore.
It's just, like,
YouTube and PornHub.
[phone ringing]
Oh, yo, it's Kaela.
Let me put you on speaker.
-What's up?
-[Kaela] Hey, guys!
How you doing?
-Good, yeah.
I mean, it-- it started
a little rocky today,
but, like, I think
things really came together.
Yeah, really?
Awesome. Great.
Um, so I listened to the stuff
you guys sent me earlier.
And-- and what do you think?
I thought it was really,
really, really terrible.
Like, garbage.
Like, I would actually
rather listen
to someone banging
on the garbage cans.
-Like, stop.
-Ah, stop.
I'm saying you made me nauseous.
You have a song
called "Ass Clamor."
"Shake Bread."
And "Booty Hats?"
Like, what the f--
it doesn't even rhyme!
-[Carol] Shh!
-Okay, Carol. Shh!
I think you're missing
the subtleties.
Yeah, it's-- it's all about
subtext and subterfuge.
Let me mansplain to you
what we were going for.
-You see--
-[Kaela] Don't bother.
This album has cost us
$15 million already.
Did you play it
for anybody else?
I deleted
the files you sent.
I deleted
the emails you sent,
I deleted the email address
you sent it to.
So hopefully,
nobody ever finds this.
Just make something better.
Oh, man.
I don't know why
this is so fucking hard now.
It's like we used to be
so good at this.
We were like
Rizzoli and Isles.
Well, don't worry about it, man.
It's gonna be fine.
Maybe we need some help.
Something's just not clicking.
I told my boss,
but he really wants us
to keep moving forward,
so we're gonna move forward.
You know, there's a right way,
and there's a wrong way.
I mean, do you want to be Eminem
or do you want to be Chet Hanks?
The choice is yours.
They just gotta thaw
their little brains
and vocal chords out, and, uh,
we'll slap a few beats on it
and The Booty Boys...
you know, they're not gonna
make an ass of me.
That's fucking rich.
Hi, I'm Doctor Claudia Yang,
state licensed therapist
and also marriage counselor.
I'm also a doula.
Oh, I also teach yoga.
Uh, oh, actually, I'm a
sleight-of-hand artist as well,
but only for birthdays
and special occasions.
I don't need to be here.
I know all my rhymes.
Most of my--
I know some of my rhymes.
Right now,
things are just not clicking
and we, you know,
our-- our beats are not working.
The rhymes aren't there.
My philosophy
on rhyming is that
two words have to connect
in some way or another.
So, like, you might say
"bear" and "ball" don't rhyme,
but I say they both start
with "B," so fuck you.
I have a lot of experience
with these types of things.
I've worked
with lots of sports teams,
bands, drum circles.
I've worked
with a Sum 41 cover band--
Some of Sum 41.
Creative differences can arise
in many different types
of teams.
You know, the causes can vary
from one case to another,
but, um, let's see
if we can spark something today.
Let's take a look
at these images.
Tell me what comes
to mind when you see this.
I know this one. A butt.
Uh, a butt.
you both see butts.
[both] All the time.
What do you see
when you see this image?
Oh, that's, uh, it's, like,
four dicks
with, like, two weirder dicks
coming out of the top
and then I-- I mean,
they're like little dicks
that are kind of
just on the side.
Squiggly dicks.
Okay, okay.
Let's try something else.
Let's try something else.
Let's take a look
at these images.
These are
a little less abstract.
Tell me what comes to mind
when you see this.
A house. A dick-- dick house?
A Brick dick?
Brick dick ho--
A brick dick house?
Okay, uh, let's try this.
You-- you definitely
will recognize this--
-To-- to-- toilet paper?
This is value.
Greek yogurt.
All right.
Well, let's move on to this one.
-Oh, Gary.
-Yes, yes.
Did you have
a cat named Gary?
What are you talking about?
Yeah, why are you trying
to confuse us?
The pictures
aren't working here.
I feel like
I'm missing something.
Honestly, that went better
than I thought.
I got to look
at a bunch of pictures.
She showed us
some horseshoe tests,
and I saw five butts
and six dicks,
and the dicks were coming out
of the butts.
It was-- Fuck, man.
Have you recently experienced
a traumatic event?
-I downloaded TikTok.
-That's not traumatic.
It's, like,
the coolest thing ever.
You just have to go
to the For You page--
And once you download the app,
if you don't go to the first--
I mean,
a recent life-altering event.
things have been pretty okay
ever since we were unfrozen.
-You were frozen?
only for like 15 years though.
We were both frozen
inside Budthoulz.
-It's-- it's in the Valley.
-That's it!
This is clearly a case
of selective memory loss
as a result of...
[both] Oh, PTSD.
Post Traumatic Freeze Disorder.
-Can you mansplain it to us?
Can I?
I wrote the book on that.
[chuckles] No, really.
I wrote the book on that.
It's on Amazon.
It's called Mansplaining:
A Man's Perspective
from a Woman's Perspective.
Part of the amygdala
has remained frozen,
causing selective memory loss,
which will thaw over time,
bringing memories rushing back
to the prefrontal cortex
causing sudden cognition
at unexpected moments.
I've only ever read about it
in books,
and in those cases,
they were cats
and dogs and one donkey.
I'm excited to have a diagnosis,
because when people are like,
"No, sir,
you have to leave the store,"
I'm like,
"Oh, but it's because of PTFD,"
and so, like,
that to me is really helpful.
Um, and they're like,
"You--" you know,
"Put your pants on,"
and I'll be like,
"Yeah, that's cool,"
but, like,
now I have a reason.
This is so exciting.
I want you guys
to try something.
You'll need two.
Take a long, slow inhale...
[inhales audibly]
[exhales audibly]
...and squeeze your balls.
[both laughing]
Try it.
It may help you focus
and bring back those memories.
[both breathing audibly]
See? It's not as easy
as it looks, is it?
Did we have...
[both] A DJ?
hip-hop beat playing]
You step to me
That all I want
is that B-O-O-T-E
My name is DJ Backdoor.
I was The Booty Boys'
original DJ.
DJ Backdoor
[audience cheering]
I don't know anything
about deejaying.
I-- I know how to change a CD.
I know how to hit play,
I know how to hit pause.
Um, but that's about it.
I was at a party.
There was a sick CD changer,
you know,
those cool ones that go
all the way around
and you can actually change
the CD while one is playing.
I was just helping
keep the party going.
And these two guys,
they run up to me and they go,
"Oh, my God, dude,
that was amazing."
I-- I don't know if I do
a good impression of them,
but that's about
what they sounded like.
We got to talking, and, uh,
it was mostly about butts,
sure, um,
but it was a Hollywood party,
so there was lots
to talk about.
And by the end of the night,
they had convinced me
that I was, uh,
the DJ for their band.
So that's-- that's how I became
a member of The Booty Boys.
Uh, as much
as I didn't like rap music,
um, I thought
The Booty Boys were amazing.
Uh, it was--
it was just great.
Uh, and so, yeah,
I-- I never wanted it to end.
It started like any other. Uh,
we were very excited about it.
Uh, it felt like it was going
to be a bigger show.
In fact, when we got there,
people were already there,
uh, which doesn't happen
that often.
sixxxHole was--
was eating Pringles,
and, um, he got--
he got to the last few,
and, um...
he-- he asked for help,
and of course I jumped in.
Stuck-- stuck my hand
all the way down the can.
Got my hand stuck.
He was just trying to be
He-- he pulled on the can.
The thing kind of
ripped apart,
kind of pulled out
at my hand at the same time.
I'm not exactly sure
the extent of the damage,
but there was blood.
It was my CD changing hand,
and how--
how was I gonna perform?
So immediately,
the two guys, um,
started looking for somebody,
that could do what I could do.
Um, I went to the bathroom,
uh, to clean up,
just try to fix
what I could.
By the time
I got out of the bathroom,
the show
had already started.
I didn't know how.
I didn't know who they found,
but I got there,
out onto the floor,
and I heard what was going on,
a-- and it was incredible.
Uh, I mean,
that-- that was DJ #2.
They are so much better
without me.
Uh, DJ #2, uh,
is who they always needed
and still need.
Man, I'm feeling--
I'm feeling really good
about today, you know.
Yeah. I mean, after the therapy,
we had some time to reflect
and, you know,
kind of get our shit together.
And I think we got
some good stuff going.
we got some dope music.
We got, like,
some really creative songs.
Like, I just feel like
everything's starting to flow.
I think people are gonna
really feel this album,
like, I-- I just--
I ju-- can just sense it.
I'm thinking this session
is going to be fire.
Jim jiminy,
bibidi bibidi bibidi
Ass like a chimney
[sixxxHole on autotune]
What-- what do you guys think?
[sixxxHole] Do you-- do you like
when I go up on that?
Is that-- do you like that part
when I go like...
Why don't you come out
of the booth real quick?
[brownEye] Yeah. No, I think
it's coming together.
-Yeah, do you?
-[brownEye] Uh-huh.
Yeah, you do?
-Just got off to a slow start.
-[Kaela] Yeah.
We're working through it.
-Yeah, you guys feel good?
-[brownEye] Yeah.
-Great, great, awesome.
So, fellas,
I don't know what's going on,
but this album's
not coming together.
You got no bops, no bangers,
and none of this
is gonna work on TikTok.
And then I come in here,
and you shit in my earholes
for three hours with nothing
real to show for it.
And now... [laughs] have me saying things
like "shit in my earhole,"
-which is--
-Which is dope.
Shit in my earholes.
-I'mma use that.
-No, you're not.
I need the next
"Back that Ass Up,'
"Drop It Like It's Hot,"
"Pop, Lock and Drop It."
You guys need to sell
more copies than Lady Gaga.
-[laughing] Lady Gaga?
Is that some kind of
baby food?
Of course you guys
don't know who she is.
This is-- this is awesome.
This is really great, okay.
So, let me make this clear
for everyone in here
with traumatic brain injuries.
Everything that
you're doing here is bad.
I need you
to make music that's good.
it's-- it's not my fault.
This guy still doesn't remember
how to rhyme.
-[Kaela] What?
-At least I use real words.
at least I'm not living off
my wife's husband's money.
-Your beats suck.
-Your face sucks.
-Your mom sucks.
-Well, you're old.
So are you,
Robbie Van Winkle.
I don't know why I thought
we could make it
like the old days.
-We can't do it.
-[Kaela] Yes, you can!
-It's over. We're breaking up.
-[Kaela] No, you're not.
-We gotta break up.
-[Kaela] No, you're not.
-Yeah. I agree.
-[Kaela] No.
Well, get out of here.
[brownEye] I'm sick of your
stupid old face anyway.
Well, I'm sick
of your entitled old ass anyway.
-Get the fuck out of here.
[Kaela] Forever young.
-We're all young.
-Yeah. Go.
[brownEye] No,
I'm-- we're done.
We're great. We're great.
We're great. We're young.
Forever young.
I know
they didn't just quit on me.
[somber music playing]
I don't know why, um,
sixxx is so upset that
I ca-- can't rhyme.
just falling apart.
It's-- it's hard, but,
you know,
I think I-- I think
I'll-- I'll be all right.
Like, I got my sandwich thing
that I'm doing, and my, uh...
You know,
I'm applying for jobs online.
something comes through,
you know,
I'm gonna be all right.
I don't know why rhyming
is so important to be a rapper,
you know?
if you're Shaquille O'Neal,
you don't have to slam dunk
every hour of the day.
I've worked for so long
to make this.
And then, obviously,
there was, like,
some time
where I was not working,
but that was
'cause I was frozen.
Or if you're, like,
a shoe repair guy,
you're not like,
"Hey, are your shoes okay?"
to everyone you see.
"Let me see those shoes.
Are they working
all right for you?"
Sometimes life is hard.
And I've been filling
so many holes in my life.
I haven't told sixxx yet,
that wasn't, um, a consent form
I signed, I guess.
Um, it was an annulment...
if you pronounce it that way.
It means
a pretty different thing.
You know, my mom
always wanted me to be a doctor.
She wanted me to be a lawyer,
an accountant...
potato farmer...
greeter at IKEA.
But my dad, he always wanted me
to be a Booty Boy.
I guess, you know, this is it.
This the end
of The Booty Boys.
You know,
life is just weird like that.
Like, sometimes you think that
you're going somewhere
and next thing you know,
it's just, like,
a dead end.
You gotta turn around and--
What the fuck, man?
What are you--
what are you idiots
doing in my car?
Get out.
I guess we just have to
tell Kaela it's over.
Yeah, let's go.
So you got kicked out, huh?
Yeah, it's all right though.
-[sixxxHole] Hey.
I don't know why
we're trying to do this.
We're, like, 60 years old
trying to rap about butts.
We're just gonna go
our separate ways
and forget about
making this album.
-Fine with me.
Well, unfortunately,
that's not fine with me.
we can't do this without a DJ.
-Well, it turns out that
DJ Backdoor
has no musical talent,
and we can't find
DJ #2 anywhere.
We need DJ #2.
I know behind every great rapper
is a great DJ.
Like Eminem and Dr. Dre
or Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince.
Or like Slim Kid Tre
and Brian Austin Green.
and Brian Austin Green.
Look, the point is,
we can't track him down.
I mean, we don't have
any information
on what his real name is
or where he's at.
And we can't sit and wait
till we find him.
Well, maybe we could hire
a private investigator.
Or the Ghostbusters.
We've already tried
one of those things,
and unfortunately,
we've come up with nothing.
There's just no way
we can do this without him.
We need all three of us.
We want to have a threesome.
And if you can't do that,
then he's right, we're out.
No threesome, no album.
Mic drop.
Actually, there's no threesome,
and there's no breaking up.
Between your studio time,
your therapy,
your PTFD treatments,
and the food budget,
this is
the second most expensive album
of all time.
Who's got
the first most expensive?
Michael Jackson.
But, you guys, the point is
you're contractually obligated
to finish this album, okay?
I put all of my eggs
in this basket,
so we're gonna mix
that shit up
and we're gonna make
a fucking scramble.
I put my eggs
in someone's basket before.
-[The Booty boys laughing]
-What? No.
You guys,
I wish we could find DJ #2
because you only have
a song and a half,
but we can't pretend like
he's just gonna walk through
the door and save the day.
Holy shit. Woo!
What are you doing here?
[laughs] I can't believe
it actually worked.
it's-- it's me, Linus.
You guys don't know him?
How about now?
No. Uh, hang on.
[both breathing audibly]
[sixxxHole] No.
-[brownEye] No.
-Okay, I got it.
[clippers buzzing]
It's me, DJ #2.
[both] Oh, shit!
[sixxxHole] #2!
-DJ #2!
-[sixxxHole] Bro!
my name is Linus Van Lynes.
I am DJ #2.
When The Booty Boys disappeared,
it was awful.
It was, like, one of
the most awful times in my life.
Just when I thought, like,
before, when I was a kid,
I was lonely,
now I knew what it was like
to have friends.
I knew what it was like
to make dope music.
And it was stripped,
like, it was, like,
taken away from me so fast,
and it felt really shitty.
There was a lot of joy
I did get out of Mystic Canyon,
and I want you to know,
I want everyone to know,
that Mystic Canyon is real.
Like, uh,
my Lil Algorithm
or the Yung Algorithm,
all these programs, 100% legit.
I made a version that would link
to The Booty Boys.
When you guys came to me
about making a documentary,
I said, well, boom, I got--
I got eyeballs
on what I'm doing.
So now I'm gonna launch
what then became version 13,
as you know, and, uh,
and that was
the sole purpose of it,
was to find The Booty Boys.
You got here just in time
for us to break up.
-Yeah, it's over.
I'm probably gonna try
and get Becky to take me back,
and sixxx is gonna open
a sandwich.
Shop. A sandwich shop.
Yeah, sorry, bros.
No threesome for us.
I didn't want to tell you
I was DJ #2 because,
honestly, I don't think
you would take me seriously.
Once you know
who The Booty Boys are,
and, you know,
you know brownEye, sixxxHole,
DJ Backdoor
and you're in the Bootyverse,
then you go,
"Oh, DJ #2, that makes sense."
But if I just came to you
on the street and I was like,
"Hi, nice to meet you,
I'm DJ #2,"
you'd be like, "Okay, I'm DJ
Get the fuck out of here."
Right? So, like,
I-- I-- I wasn't gonna say that.
I definitely wasn't gonna
lead with that with you guys.
I wouldn't say that
I'm a manipulator.
I would say
I'm more of an orchestrator.
Like-- like,
bringing things to life,
like, finding things
in music
that you maybe didn't think
was there before,
and I think
Kaela's found that.
And I don't think
she's going to be mad at me
for-- for finding
all of this.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Why would you do this to me?
What did I ever do to you?
I could have been in the studio
with Megan Thee Stallion
for the last three months,
but instead I'm here
with these fucking Encino men.
Why would you do this?
Just so you can
find your...
butt boys?
I was a lonely kid.
And I spent my days
listening to hip-hop,
programming and playing
video games by myself.
And then I grew up,
and I listened to hip-hop,
played video games
all by myself.
Then The Booty Boys came along
and they changed everything.
They didn't care
what I looked like
or what car I drove.
They liked me for me.
And then when DJ Backdoor
couldn't play
that Viper Room show, you know,
I stepped right in
and I pressed play
like I've never pressed play
We rocked the fucking thongs off
that club.
And they called me DJ #2,
but I felt like friend #1.
And then they disappeared.
I was devastated.
I mean, I poured myself
into my work, just like you do.
And all of a sudden,
I'm taking all this hot fudge
and whipped cream and--
and spoonfuls of everything
and making someone else's
hot fudge sundae
when I wanted to make my own
hot fudge sundae for my friends.
So that's why
I have this chain right here
with these three spoons
on it.
You know,
and you might have felt like
I wasted millions
of your dollars
trying to find my friends,
but you know what?
You found one of the greatest
rap duos of all time.
I used to have fake friends
with fake names
like Mario and Luigi.
And now
I have real friends...
with real names like sixxxHole
and brownEye.
You know,
it's not about the money,
it's not about the algorithms.
It's about friendship.
And I know you may hate me,
and you have every right
to pull the plug,
but they need
to make an album.
We need to make an album.
But let's do it
the right way.
let's make some butt songs!
[The Booty boys] Yeah!
Booty Boys back
and we'll do it again
Do it again,
do-- do it again
Listen to us once
and you listen again
Listen again,
lis-- listen again
Use your booty vision
and you'll see it again
See it again,
see-- see it again
Still the motherfuckers
on booty duty
Back to the asses,
we Booty
Booty Boys back
Booty Boys back
Booty-- Booty--
Booty Boys back
Booty Boys back
and we'll do it again
Do it again,
do-- do it again
Listen to us once,
and you listen again
Listen again,
lis-- listen again
Use your booty vision
and you'll see it again
See it again,
see-- see it again
Still the motherfuckers
on booty duty
Back to the asses,
we Booty
Booty boys back
and we're breaking some boards

Breaking some boards,
break-- breaking some boards
Do the right pose
and they drop to the floor
Drop to the floor,
drop it some more
Booty Boys back
and we'll do it again
Do it again,
do-- do it again
Still the motherfuckers
on booty duty
Back to the asses
We Booty
How do you feel?
All right, guys...
-you're ready.
-[both] Yeah.
[soft, uplifting
piano melody playing]
I used to be invincible,
now I feel invisible
Went to sleep
in Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul
Back to fuck the world up
Back to fuck
the world's butt
Frozen like Olaf
Couldn't find us
like a squirrel's nuts
Now I'm thawing out,
life's drawn out
Shoulda been an Angel,
Mike Trout
No, Gwen,
all doubt
Butt this, butt that,
butt cheek, butt crack
Everybody loves a butt
But don't let your butt
hold you back
This world can't confine you,
so put that butt behind you
It's time to grind through
We're all right here
behind you
Religious [indistinct]
We all looking
for that miracle
So grab a couple of friends
in the air
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
Problems, yeah, we got 'em,
might be at the bottom
But we'll be back again
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
Problems, yeah, we got 'em,
might be at the bottom
But we will rise again
We are all butt men,
men, men, men, men, men
[wind whooshing]
Hit rock bottom
and rose again
Never to be froze again
And whether it's she/her
Or whether it's he/him,
those and them
The world united
by booty holes again
Duty calls again
through these halls again
Ready to pick a booty up
if it falls again
And rise
above the ashes like Vesuvius
gladiate the gluteus
Instead of all the hate
And creating
these separate classes
We should be unified
by the pride
That we have in asses,
big or small
It could be a one or a ten
or a three
Everyone can agree that
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
Problems, yeah, we got 'em,
might be at the bottom
But we'll be back again,
we are all butt men
We are all butt men,
Problems, yeah, we got 'em,
might be at the bottom
But will rise again
We are all butt men
We are all butt men,
but then again
We are all one butt,
one butt in the end
It's all we need to rise up,
lift our backsides up
Booty to the heavens
and open them stormy skies up
Spread the clouds apart,
it's time that we realize
The answer to life's problems
sits right above your thighs
When the world seems dark,
remember that sometimes
The brightest light can come
from where the sun don't shine

We are all butt men,
we are all butt men
Problems, yeah, we got 'em,
might be at the bottom
But we'll be back again,
we are all butt men
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
Problems, yeah, we got 'em,
might be at the bottom
But we'll be back again
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
Problems, yeah, we got 'em,
might be at the bottom
But we will rise again
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
Problems, yeah, we got 'em,
might be at the bottom
But we'll be back again
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
We are all butt men
Problems, yeah, we got 'em,
might be at the bottom
But we will rise again,
we are all butt men
-What's this?
-It's the album.
We finished it.
No, seriously, uh,
what's this?
It's a CD.
I'm gonna go digitize this.
-Yeah. Please. [laughs]
Yo, what can I say?
We did it!
-Yeah, it's done.
-We finished the album.
Kaela is, like, mad smart.
Like, she taught us
so much about,
like, the world today
and what it means to be, like,
a human being.
-You know, it's like--
-Not just a human being,
but, like,
a good human being, right?
Yeah. We want all the world
to just,
you know, feel good about
their sexuality
and their choices and the--
and their love.
Like, this is about love
and making love.
Everybody likes butts
and everybody likes sex
and everybody likes fun,
and we still put
that all together
into, like, a pot and make you
the booty soup
you're looking for.
It's not just about
choosing words
that rhyme with each other.
You might say a word
and then
there's an obvious rhyme
that is, like,
a word that is not respectful
to another person.
Sometimes, you just have
to think a little bit harder
and think, like,
"Maybe I should just think of
a different word
to call that person."
Like "woman."
So, I heard
The Booty Boys' new stuff,
and, um, I mean, they're still
rapping about booties.
It's, like, same-same different,
you know?
It's like Now and Laters
and Starburst, you know?
It's a little bit different.
Um, but they're still
rapping about butts,
but I mean, who cares?
I mean, we all have a butt,
men, women, babies,
old people, young people,
Black, White.
So, we don't have to be
embarrassed or ashamed
of our bodies.
You know, we can love ourselves
and respect ourselves.
Not everyone has to have
the same perspective.
You know, some people
might find this offensive,
but some people
might find it liberating.
There's room for everybody,
we just need to learn
to respect each other
and-- and grow
and learn from each other.
And I'm actually really excited
about this new music.
You know, I feel like
The Booty Boys are true
to themselves
and that's something
to be proud of, so...
Man, this is gonna be awesome.
[mellow guitar melody playing]
The new album is hella tight.
It really is. I mean, I--
it's gotta be doing
crazy numbers at this point.
-[The Booty Boys] Hey!
-Are you guys ready?
-[The Booty Boys] Yeah.
-[sixxxHole] Let's do it!
-All right. Okay.
So, really,
how do you think we did?
after accounting for the,
uh, trip to the Cayman Islands
and the private jet charter
and the snacks
and the medical bills
and finding you two
and buying out your contract,
the budget is currently at...
214 million.
-[sixxxHole] Oh, shit.
We have the most expensive album
of all time!
We beat Michael Jackson!
Oh, he's gonna be so mad at us.
Oh, man, I'm so glad
we spent all that money.
214 million?
That means just to break even
on this record,
we're gonna have to stream
535 billion copies.
That's easy, we're gonna have
like 535 kajillion copies.
Yes. All right.
We are in...
All right.
-So, we've got..
-[computer dings]
that's it.
I don't know how that happened.
I mean, there's more
than 846 people
that work in this building,
I listened to that album, like,
845 times myself.
[sighs, smacks lips]
Uh, you know, it was--
it was a gamble, sure,
to unfreeze two old men
and hope that they were gonna be
as, you know,
as good as advertised.
Uh, I g-- I guess
I couldn't control that,
but I gambled, uh, that--
that I could have controlled.
Yeah, I mean,
846 is not going to do it.
It's-- I mean, we're definitely
not gonna recoup
anytime soon with that.
I m-- I mean, like, 846,
if we just did that,
like, this week and then
next week maybe, like,
it would-- and then--
-Another 846.
-846, yeah, right.
-Like, just--
-846 the week after that.
And we could just
keep doing that until--
One after the other,
846, 846--
That would take
12 million years, by the way.
-12 million.
-Let's do it!
You know, well, uh,
back to the drawing board-ish,
you know, if you--
you know what I mean?
Mystic Canyon, we-- we'll see
who's really to blame
if it was the ones and zeros
or it was Lonely Linus.
I can't say that I'm worried
about Kaela, you know?
She works hard.
She knows what she's looking for
and she'll find it.
But, uh-- and me,
I'm already moved on.
You know, I'm looking--
I'm looking at a new band
that goes by the name
of Plausible Deniability.
How is that slice of irony?
Table of one. Logan Oceanak.
I'll be fine.
200 mil? That's a-- that's a--
that's a night in Bali.
You know,
we can only grow from this.
We gotta move forward.
I gotta stay positive
because I did the work
I was asked to do,
you know?
I did everything that I could
to make this great.
You know, this is the beginning
of our story.
You know, you can't--
you can't judge the end
at the beginning, like,
"Oh, no. Goldilocks is
in a house with all these bears.
The end."
She's fucked."
Like, you gotta wait
till the end.
And then
everyone's eating oatmeal.
This is not the end
for The Booty Boys.
It can't be the end
for The Booty Boys.
This is not how
The Booty Boys end.
No, this-- this isn't it.
This is not the end
for The Booty Boys.
Oh, Booty hole rangers
[DJ #2] That's how I do it.
Booty hole rangers
[DJ #2] That is how I do it.
Booty hole rangers
Booty hole rangers
your booty like elastic
Mr. Fantastic
How hot
could that ass get?
[clanging, warbling on computer]
[music stops]
[atmospheric electronic music
-[shutter clicking]
Sorry I'm late. [chuckles]
No one told me that
this was going on.
[laughing] Uh,
but I figured it out.
I figured it out.
Let's get some
vodka Redbulls going.
I can't have caffeine,
but, uh,
everyone else, get on it,
We made the most expensive album
of all time,
which turned into
the most expensive flop
of all time.
They let me go, so, um,
I was a free agent for a while,
but it pushed me
to be who I wanna be
and do what I wanna do.
I now own my own label
called Snooty Tunes.
I'm super passionate about it,
I'm super excited about it,
and my first act
is The Booty Boys that I signed.
And now
I'm just here to support them
on their newest endeavors.
Even though we fell, like,
534,999,999,154 albums short
of making our money back,
we realized that
this is all we really needed.
[brownEye] Without our friends,
our fans,
there never could have been
The Booty Boys.
I mean, where would we be
without The Booty Boys, right?
-We're a family.
And we couldn't imagine sharing
this moment with anybody else.
Even me?
Even you, Father Greg.
It turns out I actually
read the annulment papers
that my wife gave me,
and she left me
like $13 million,
which I think is a lot,
and that's how we were able
to open Buttholes,
only this time
we spelled it right.
[crowd cheering]
Yeah, I mean,
we've been in Budthoulz
so many times,
but opening our own Buttholes
is like
a whole new experience.
This has been a journey
for all of us in this.
We're learning from each other,
and I really feel like
we're gonna continue to grow
and I feel like
they're gonna continue
to talk about butts,
but in a more respectful way.
[voice cracking]
I mean, it's a--
it's an amazing experience
to be with your boys again.
You know?
Just getting to be
with people
after spending
so much time isolated.
Just stuck in the cold.
Getting back,
getting in front of the mic...
talking about butts.
what else could I ask for?
[sobs] I just wish that
there were people in my life
that could see it today.
When I'm talking
about those asses, they know.
They know
who I'm talking about.
They know
what asses I'm talking about.
The whole world's asses.
I mean,
what can you say, right?
Like, how many people
have experienced
what we've experienced?
It's us and a donkey.
I feel like we're onto
something good, you know?
The future is bright.
The Booty Boys are
the greatest booty rap duo
out of Los Angeles ever.
We started at the bottom
and we just stayed focused
on the bottom.
I think back then I thought,
"We're gonna do
this butt thing.
We're gonna
make a bunch of money.
Then I'm gonna be on, like,
an island or a boat
or in a plane constantly
flying around the world,
never landing."
But now I've landed,
and it feels like home.
I can see
the end in sight
I can see
the end in sight
It's pretty clear
that the end is near
'Cause things are getting
so hot over here
With those hemispheres
in my atmosphere
It gets hot in here
when the end is near
It's a catastrophe
my brain muscles atrophy
It's an end
and what you have to see
And I will pray
But I'm afraid that
it's blasphemy
I thought that
I'd seen it all
When I'm told
but a heavenly body
Just entered my orbit
And I'm the doing
all that I can to endure
But her powers are pulling me
into her gravity
-[sixxxHole] Hey, y'all!
-[all whooping]
We're doing this?
We're really doing this?
That's what it's about.
This is
what it's always been about.
[sixxxHole] Let's make this
the best show we've ever done!
-[All] Yes.
-Get in here guys.
All right, Booty Boys on three.
-Come on.
-[all] One, two, Booty Boys!
[sixxxHole whoops]
[cheering and applause]
You're about to enter
the Bootyverse
where you will be bootyfied
'cause these guys
will blow your mind
and your behind!
[whoops] You're about to witness
the return of The Booty Boys!
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm always
on booty duty
this place is overpacked
Overstacked with women
who are packed at the back
It's an ass attack
and I'm here for that
So hands in the air,
make them asses clap
And that's
a lot of seats to fill
And you're wondering
if I will
If you have to ask,
then you never knew me
If you have an ass,
I'm on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm always
on booty duty
Saw you sitting
at the end of the bar
I had to think about
just who you are
You got the kind of face
make me double take
And your double D's
are probably double fake
Wasted up,
I had a panic attack
You look good from the front
but ain't nothin' in the back
Nothin' against you
but you got no booty
Baby, you know me,
I'm on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
Booty Boys
on booty duty
Tip-top, make it pop,
let me see that booty drop
Tiptoe, let it go,
back it up a little mo'
Tip-top, make it pop,
let me see that booty drop
Tiptoe, let it go
Back it up a little mo'
Tip-top, make it pop,
let me see that booty drop
Tiptoe, let it go,
back it up a little mo'
You know me,
I'm on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm always on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
Who's the motherfucker
on booty duty?
Booty boys
on booty duty
Too much waitin'
in isolation
No flirtation
is so frustratin'
My mind get racin'
when that ass start shakin'
Now make it sizzle, baby,
like you cookin' that bacon
Don't wanna waste time
chattin' on FaceTime
Turn around, let me see
the ass and waistline
Pull up that skirt,
put that ass to work
I'mma full-screen this window
while you get to twerk
Wanna see that ass drop
on my laptop
Them big old ham hocks
got my dick on caps lock
Take a screenshot
when that queen squat
And unzip my download
on her desktop
Twerk from home, baby,
twerk from home
If your man is gone,
and you're all alone
Get that ass clappin'
in front of the phone
Just twerk from home, baby,
twerk from home
Twerk from home, baby,
twerk from home
When the kids go to sleep
and you're on your own
Show me how you work it
when the cam is on
Just twerk from home, baby,
twerk from home
Twerk, baby, twerk, baby,
twerk, baby
Twerk, baby, twerk, baby,
twerk, baby
Twerk, twerk, twerk
Twerk from home
Twerk from home, baby,
twerk from home
'Cause you need a little
when you work from home
Keep the door locked
if the kids are home
And rock the tripod
when you turn on the phone
So set up the Zoom,
invite me to the room
Enable HD
so I can see what you're doin'

The clap of them ass cheeks,
that noise perfect
Make the high speed internet
invoice worth it
Keep it moving
as fast as you can
You got my laptop heating up,
maxing the RAM
Unplug for 15 seconds
and restart
restart, restart
[computer whirring]
Twerk from home, baby,
twerk from home
If your man is gone
and you're all alone
Get that ass clappin'
in front of the phone
Just twerk from home, baby,
twerk from home
Twerk from home, baby,
twerk from home
When the kids go to sleep
and you're on your own
Show me how you work it
when the cam is on
Just twerk from home, baby,
twerk from home
Twerk, baby, twerk, baby,
twerk, baby
Twerk, baby, twerk, baby,
twerk, baby
Twerk, twerk, twerk
Twerk from home
Twerk from home, baby, twerk

Twerk from home, baby, twerk

Twerk from home, baby, twerk

Twerk from home, baby
Twerk from home, baby, twerk

Twerk from home, baby, twerk

Twerk from home, baby, twerk

Twerk, twerk, twerk
Twerk from home, baby,
twerk from home
[robotic female voice]
B-O-O-T-Y. [laughs]
B-Double O-T-Y
[interviewer] Tell us more about
that infamous Viper Room show.
There's some lore
about that show.
A couple of things
like Chuck Norris
and Tom Selleck exchanged
mustaches in the bathroom.
Someone filled
all of the toilets with Jell-O
and no one even noticed.
That show was so good, it made
Destiny's Child break up.
There was an actual ghost there.
I know this
because he was doing coke
in the bathroom
with my teaching assistant.
I saw them levitate.
There were MFers everywhere
using H, E, G.
I bet there were a bunch of
key parties afterward.
I bet. I mean,
that's what I think about.
Um, I'd lost my car at this
point, so I didn't have keys.
I heard they had
all the beats blessed
by Pope John Paul II, uh,
before the show.
Do you remember
the band Veruca Salt?
-[interviewer] Yeah.
-Yeah. Good band, right?
-[interviewer] Yeah.
back to the Viper Room show.
After the show,
I delivered a baby,
and that baby
was Honey Boo Boo.
Eight new sexual positions
were invented that night.
the Wonderful Executive,
the Golden Parachute,
Two Men Playing Baseball,
Harper Valley PTA,
the Build-A-Bear,
the Rescue Dog,
the Magic School Bus,
the 12-layer Dip,
the Shave and a Haircut.
Get closer
to your Bootyology degree
Yo, Bootyology
with booty ability
Yo, definitely
[DJ Backdoor]
Come on. Here you go.
[all grunting]
[bodies thudding]
[DJ Backdoor]
I'm the motherfucker
on booty duty.