Boss Wants a Happy Ending (2014) Movie Script

Dear! What's your problem?
I'm fine but I think the car is fucked up.
-For real.
-So you aren't a tourist.
-And you, no way!
What is this?
A car.
I mean what make.
Since you trashed the engine,
where do we get a new one?
That's why I asked.
I trashed the engine?
Why would I do that? By doing what?
No panic. What was the name?
It was Sinan.
Hearing you use the past tense
makes me want to as well.
-Well, made me.
-What's your name?
-Great to meet you, Lokman.
-What do we do now?
-No problem, I'll handle it.
Because look, the car's smoking.
-What do you do?
-I'm a screenwriter.
No way!
-That's a story? TV series or what?
-Congratulations, that was something.
A question like no other.
Anyway, you're in the right place.
Even Hollywood is always here.
Nicolas Kay stayed two months.
OK, he beat up his wife afterwards.
They said so on TV.
-He took away a ton of wine.
Nicolas Kay.
Maybe he drank it all in one go.
Poor woman.
Come on, let's go.
-How's it going, Hicri?
-What's that?
He's asking the make of the car.
I realized, Lokman.
You must know, surely.
It's a '74 Citroen DS Palace.
A landmark car in history.
The same technology in cars today
is marketed like it's new.
And think, this was 1970.
The hallmark of the DS Palace
is its hydropneumatic system.
Maybe an unfamiliar term.
A hydropneumatic system works like so:
when you switch on the ignition,
it pumps up the hydraulics
and slowly the back of the car
starts to rise up.
But the big thing for me is
that I inherited it from my dad.
When can I come get it?
Is your first question
when you go to the hospital:
"When will I get out?"
How about: "Doc, will I get better?"
I told him he'd trashed the engine.
Out of the way. I don't like you.
But I like the car.
Leave her here. I'll take a look. Miladi!
Get to it.
Leave your number and we'll call you.
So you repair cars and trash people.
In that case,
I'll wait to hear from you. Good luck!
It's totally wrecked.
Here's my card.
OK, thanks.
All the numbers are on it.
My cell phone is on 24/7.
I didn't mark the back of the card.
Some jerks stick a cross on the back.
Like I'd start a business
with your shitty card!
Things like that get to me sometimes.
-You were made for a script.
-I said see you, Lokman.
-See you.
Sorry, I took it for a doodad.
Hotels always have them.
-Thanks. Sinan Armaan.
Hot Productions, Isfendiyar Scak.
I guess the company booked me in.
Well, no one told the computer.
Who did you say was hot?
Isfendiyar Scak, Hot Productions.
They were here last year
for a TV shoot. Broken Heart.
I was on the writing team.
I stayed here too.
-Maybe you remember.
-Let me see. No.
My hair was longer then.
Maybe that's why.
-No, no rooms.
But they said they'd booked.
-I'll call then, if it's OK.
Because they were definite about it.
A room for three weeks.
-God! What's going on?
-Sinan, what is it?
Sorry to bother you. I'm at the hotel.
There's no room booked.
-Didn't you give my name?
-Yes, several times.
Put me onto them, Sinan.
How do I do that?
Sinan, point the camera
at whoever is in charge.
Miss, I can't read your name badge,
but if you'd help...
-Isfendiyar Scak of Hot Productions.
-Isfendiyar! Sorry.
-Sinan Armaan, my friend there... Sinan?
-Isfendiyar, hi. It's Eyll.
Izzet's daughter. How are you?
Great thanks, Eyll. You too, I hope.
Yes thanks. I get your news from Faruk.
Yes. It seems there's a problem
with Sinan's check-in.
My name didn't help. Is that right?
No, no. There was just a mix-up.
Glah here was being moronic.
I'll fix it, don't worry.
-See you, bye!
-Thanks, dear.
The phone.
Glah, fix it right now. Welcome.
What was the name?
-Sinan Armaan.
-No, the gentleman's.
-Do I have to repeat the name again?
Isfendiyar Scak.
Hot Productions. Isfendiyar Scak.
-Here you go.
-Thank you, is there a minib...?
You know,
a gym or someplace I can work out?
If I stop, my muscles go straight to flab.
Or I don't know, an Olympic pool
where I can swim butterfly?
OK, I'm off. So is there a minibar?
Is it included in extras?
Sinan, you have three weeks,
a month at most. In that time,
I want the script finished.
When you lie to me,
you make a liar of me too.
Is that clear, my friend?
Now, the story must be funny.
Very funny, in fact.
People want to laugh. Point one.
Let me add something else,
also point one, which is this:
The story must be driven by love.
So you're to write a comedy
built around a sizzling romance.
And the ending has to be happy.
-Is that clear, my friend?
Good. Now, I want a synopsis of the film
from you in three days.
Because I have a meeting with our sponsor.
Our sponsor by the way is a soup business.
-But how am I supposed...?
-Be it on Skype or face to face
stop cutting me off, Sinan!
Stop! Learn to listen.
Listen. Please.
Where was I? The soup business.
Yes. I've a meeting with them. This time,
don't let me down, Sinan.
-Isfendiyar, I'm going to bed.
-OK, honey.
-But with other guys.
-Just kidding, Isfendiyar.
-What kind of joke is that, Ece?
You call that a joke?
Sinan, you call that a joke?
Some joke!
Jokes are meant to make you laugh.
Do you see me laughing?
Ece, please.
Keep those jokes for your classmates.
Doodles say so much
about a person, don't they?
Really? What do they say about me?
You're having stress.
And your holiday just began!
-What's up?
-I urgently need a story.
-A story?
-Yes. A love story.
It must be funny and have a happy ending.
-So write it.
-I will.
I meant this place is inspiring,
you won't have a problem.
So shall I trash this
or are you planning an exhibition?
No, I'll keep it. No doubt
I'll be doing plenty more doodles.
OK. And sorry about this morning.
It's OK, these things happen.
Good luck then.
Don't miss the morning balloon trip.
No, I... I have a problem with heights.
-You have a good time.
-But it's an opportunity.
Have a good day.
Our hero is...
Our hero is...
A cook. No. A barber. No.
Where would a barber take the story?
Our hero... Our he...
What does our hero do?
Our hero makes soup!
That's the main thing solved.
Our hero makes soup!
That's definite. The hero makes soup!
They have soup, him and the girl.
They're naked, totally naked.
Gotta hook the audience.
The film's called Naked Soup. No.
It's bullshit! I can't make it work.
I could solve it some other way
if I thought, but I can't!
Come on, you'll be late!
Are you there? You'll be late!
Sorry, I was in the shower.
-Sorry, but you'll be late. Come on.
-I can't ride in things that fly.
So you don't have a life.
You just write, huh?
My dad always says balloons don't fly,
they hang still while the earth dips.
Maybe my dad should write.
Anyway you have four minutes. Move!
You don't have a life, you just write.
No, I can't get in a balloon, no way.
What's your name?
I need a story. Can you help?
Picture a screenwriter
so desperate he asks a dog for help.
That's where I am.
Of course!
They say write about yourself
if all else fails. Yes!
"Our hero
is sent by his producer
to Cappadocia.
He's a good-looking writer."
Well, attractive in his own way.
In fact, when the light is right,
his eyes can even look green.
The actor will be good-looking anyway.
They'd hardly cast me. Anyway...
Then he meets a girl.
A gorgeous girl. Long hair.
Incredible, huge eyes. Beautiful.
Is the news good, boss?
She's a sourpuss,
she won't respond to treatment.
So she's refusing medicine?
Lokman, if he carries on like this,
I'm discharging the patient now!
-Sinan, just talk to him nicely.
-But it was his metaphor...
There you go again. Stop!
Hicri is touchy about these things.
What things?
We ordered spares from Adana.
Make yourself scarce for ten days.
Ten days! Dang!
-Not you, I mean the situation.
But it's good for my neck pains
that you came out.
Lokman, take him away.
Sinan, It's okay. What am I here for?
Is there no way to speed things up?
Sure there is. If you go, I can get on.
Sorry to ask, but why are you so rude
to your "patient's" family?
-Because they make me ill.
-Come on.
Don't hold me up,
I have to go write the scene.
-The scene?
-Stay cool.
I'm always cool.
I never met anyone so hostile.
He won't seem real when he's on paper.
Just call me and hang up.
I'll be with you in five.
-OK, Lokman.
-I'm your chauffeur.
-What chauffeur turns on the meter?
-They're on wages.
Maybe, but don't brag even if you're right
and switch radio stations.
-I'm sick of yours.
Exterior, yard, night.
OK, Faruk.
I know you don't like being asked...
And sorry girls, I have to do it.
But you know, long engagements
always invite the question.
-When do you hope to marry?
-We're back to that question.
As you know, my fiance is watching me.
I know she'll be excited,
her heart fluttering.
Sweetheart. I love her to bits.
I had to say it. Anyway...
In fact I made a decision on the way.
And you get to hear it.
-So come on, tell us.
-OK, I gave the AD a number.
-Yes. Can we call the number?
Baby? You must have the wrong number.
How do you mean?
-Just kidding, Faruk. What's up?
-Baby, aren't you watching?
Sure I am.
Baby, as you know...
Which camera do I talk to? I'm all nerves.
This one? OK.
Baby, as you know...
I have 4 episodes left in my series.
In four weeks...
Will you marry me?
He proposed!
-Baby, did you hear me?
She said yes!
Hello? Faruk?
In 29 years of marriage
your dad has yet to say "I love you".
This man declares his love on TV
and you aren't impressed?
But why, mum? Did he really need to?
It's a nice touch, honey. A favor.
It's the sweetest proposal I ever saw.
Anyway I only said yes
when he asked if I'd heard.
There's a ton to do.
A wedding in a month!
I must go start those lists right now.
-Good night.
This is the bridle,
this the saddle, these stirrups.
Now, riders need to connect with horses.
These are horses. Horses.
Turkish name "At". Co-being.
The finest co-beings
in the world. OK, translate.
But how do I translate "co-being"?
Now, you get in a car,
the car takes you somewhere.
Cars have makes,
horses have names.
-Did you translate?
-Sure I did, Arif. Don't fret.
OK, now tell the horses your names.
What? You can't be serious, Arif!
You want them to set off
without knowing each other?
OK. So tell the horses your names.
Say your names.
Mr. Sinan!
Mr. Sinan, are you OK?
Open your eyes.
Friend. Mister.
-No, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
-Feeling better?
-Yes, thanks.
-That's a story for you.
-Yeah? What about?
Horse allergies, asthmatic tourists.
We get the odd one.
-Is that my problem?
-Yes. I'll be waiting at the door.
If I'd had the horses
facing me, not ass-on,
I'm sure it would've been
a different story.
-Sorry for the trouble.
-No problem. Are you OK?
I can't smell anything but...
-Are you going to dress up the chairs?
-At the wedding, I mean.
-No idea.
Dumb, isn't it?
But then getting married is dumb.
Why is getting married dumb?
They dress up the chairs.
So what are you saying?
You want all the chairs naked?
I never thought of it like that.
Great line to give a girl:
"I never thought of it like that."
What's so great about it?
It's virtuous to confound beauty.
-Are you OK?
-Great, I never itched so much.
-Try that kitchen roll.
-It's the last piece.
You'll be fine tomorrow.
-You OK, Sinan?
Fresh air always works wonders.
Oh God, careful. Are you OK?
-I'm fine.
It's a surprise for me too in fact.
This whole thing.
Everything moved so fast.
And I'm all over the place.
I don't want a routine wedding.
My dream is a 40-day 40-night wedding.
I'm serious.
Weddings should go on for ages.
-40 days?
So day one you party, day two you fly.
And the other 38 days?
You'd be sick of each other by day 40.
I'm really sorry.
I'm saying the wrong things
to a soon-to-be bride.
No. But it seems crazy to you, right?
All these plans?
No. Well, if you have to marry,
of course you can plan.
-I won't pry, but did you like it?
The proposal.
Being the subject of so many tweets?
And they posted my picture,
however they found it.
I saw. You got a ton of likes.
Mum says: "If it's big love,
then it's fine to say it big."
What's big?
The wedding lasts 40 days, so go figure.
Let's go, it's late.
-Come on.
"Are you going to dress up the chairs
like everyone else?"
Eyll: "What?"
"At the wedding, I mean".
The car continues on its way and snip.
We cut to the next scene.
Enjoy it.
-A horse allergy, huh?
-So they say.
A one-in-a-million thing,
but makes no sense to me.
Horses are the world's finest creatures.
It's too bad you'll miss out.
It was a surprise for me too.
-Have a seat.
-I won't disturb you.
I just thought
I'd have breakfast out today.
You having breakfast at my table
won't disturb me.
OK then.
-Arif. They call me Horseman Arif.
They call me Sinan.
lyas! Breakfast over here.
What is it with allergies?
I'm 50 and allergic to nothing.
Except a few idiots.
When I see them I get cold sores inside.
Internal blisters.
First time I heard of that.
Your job? Domestic tourism?
-No. For business.
-How do you mean?
I'm writing a script.
-What about?
-I'm thinking.
Write about the crazy tourism here.
Poor guys are stuffed in buses
and herded around like sheep.
They snap away,
they're wowed by anything.
It's a joke, my friend.
Tourists don't go to places
to get photos taken. They live there.
You should live in a village, my friend.
-It's the village breakfast?
-Write about it.
Village breakfast,
village butter, village eggs.
Why live in the city
if all village things are so good?
Yes. I like the village thing.
I could use that.
So you're a filmmaker.
-They're always shooting here.
-I heard. Nicolas Cage too.
Well, Hollywood comes here.
I was in a couple, but never mind them.
You should write better stuff.
They shot a series here,
what was it called?
-Broken Heart.
-That's it.
Total bullshit.
They make it up without living here,
without seeing the people,
-without knowing the place.
-Which gives you internal blisters.
Use the polite "you"
once more and I'm leaving.
Don't let your eggs get cold.
-There aren't any.
What need have I of millions
When you're gone from my heart?
What use are wealth and fortune
When you're gone from my side?
What are you doing here?
Waiting for me?
Thank you, that's nice.
Wait, let me change
and we'll have coffee, huh?
Put the coffee on. Come on!
What's going on?
Gold and silver, pearls and diamonds
Rubies, emeralds, empty joy
An honest smile
A sweet word, a little kiss
A loving...
Excuse me!
I was scared to death.
Me too.
I was just passing...
And stopped to listen.
You have a great voice.
If I'd known, I'd have shut up.
If I'd known you sang like that,
I'd have listened forever.
-OK, then it's our secret.
-OK, I won't tell.
OK, don't.
The dog's frozen too.
I'll carry on then.
I'd offer you coffee but...
No, I still have
a ton of rooms to listen to.
OK. Take it easy.
Thanks. You too.
Our secret.
Sure, our secret.
Here a glad day, there a sad day
Life slips by in its own way
Foul weather or fair
It's all to share
Gold and...
Rubies, emeralds...
We've another big group coming today.
-Excuse me. Morning.
The timing of your activities...
We got up later in the army.
When would you schedule a dawn activity?
-At dawn of course.
It's beautiful.
Was it worth losing sleep for?
We're in the right place
at the right time.
-All we need now is a song.
-It's our secret!
Mum, OK. I'll send the guest list.
Take a look, OK? See you.
Of course you will see me.
I'm your mother!
See you, Mum. Kisses.
Is it nice to eavesdrop?
But I wasn't.
Yes, Faruk?
-Eyll, what's up?
-I can't talk now.
Wait, don't hang up.
We haven't spoken properly in days.
Why are you so cranky?
Faruk, I tell you I can't talk
and you ask me that?
OK. We'll talk when you're free.
Look, it really isn't nice to eavesdrop.
No, I'm looking at casual wear
for when I write.
These are a bit too casual.
Our hero...
Whatever makes him a hero,
what does he want?
To stop the wedding?
Really? So I'm writing a true melodrama.
"I got to stop this for real."
Come on, what is this? What was I writing?
I don't know what I'm thinking either.
Hello. I see him all the time,
but I don't know his name.
-Isn't it kind of big for him?
-That's the joke.
-Sure, it's a joke. Sorry.
Does he sit when you tell him to?
He does everything,
but not when he's told.
-How's it going?
-Not bad.
What's the plot?
Can't say till I'm done. A trade thing.
OK, right.
Entrants for the grape harvest festival
are asked to apply to the municipality.
-Grape harvest?
-Yes. It may overlap with our wedding.
-How do you mean?
OK I'd never marry, but if I did,
I'd time my wedding
around the grape harvest.
-Wait, you have to explain.
-It's not quite your 40-day dream.
-But it could be three days.
-Cool idea!
With all due respect it's my job.
What happens on day one?
The grapes get picked.
OK, so we pick them. Well, you pick them.
-Or rather, the guests pick them.
So screenwriters truly are imaginative.
Come on, it's nothing.
A small wedding gift
for the young couple. Right, Jumbo?
-Where's Jumbo?
-Jumbo's gone.
-What do we do on day two?
-What happens on day two?
Girls crush the grapes barefoot.
-Whoa! Tell you what.
-This wedding works.
There's great material.
My brain's in gear now.
Sure, I'm dreaming a little.
Look, let's suppose...
This is a massive vineyard.
Come over here. Come on.
Close your eyes.
-The vineyard?
-What? Yes, the vineyard.
Yes, I'm working on it.
Gotta tie in the story, build a conflict.
A massive vineyard.
And hidden inside it, a band.
But what do we do?
We erect huge awnings each side,
or the system will crash in minutes.
Poor band out in the sun.
Can't we move them under the awnings?
I was just coming to that.
You took the words out of my mouth.
Quick, move to the shade!
No. Their minds are on the music.
Well, as musicians.
-Looks good already.
-See how beautiful?
Cool. What comes next?
Sinan, what comes next?
Ha! Dinner, I guess.
You can dress up the chairs.
Why is dressing up the chairs
so important to you?
Because unimportant things are important.
Aren't unimportant things important
because you treat them as important?
What were we talking about?
No idea. But I don't think it's important.
Eyll! Faruk's series has started. Hurry!
If you'll excuse me.
I'll tell Faruk about this. Bye.
I know what you're after.
You're pathetic. Totally pathetic!
Crap acting again, Faruk.
Don't you dare try giving her ideas.
What do you say to the idea?
Nice. What do you say to mine?
-Which one?
-The idea of shaving on Skype. Cool, huh?
Not sure.
Hey, there's a screenwriter here
who knows you. It was his idea.
Who's that?
-Sinan Armaan.
-Sinan Armaan?
What's he doing there?
-Chasing another lost cause then.
-You know each other well, huh?
Never mind.
Don't get too friendly with him.
-He seems nice to me.
-Does he badmouth me?
Faruk, I'm hanging up.
It bugs me having you shave in my face.
-Everything bugs you these days.
-I'm hanging up.
-We'd never want to hang up before.
-You never shaved in my face before.
-I did it to make you laugh.
-You failed.
Right. Anyway, speak soon.
If the guy tries to make you laugh,
he's hitting on you.
Don't laugh.
-OK, honey. I won't.
Did you see this episode?
Not all of it.
I never like myself a lot,
but in this episode I'm something else.
I mean, I did this look at camera three.
Like this...
You know what? I'm truly...
I'm phenomenal, you know.
I'm just phenomenal.
This time I liked you liking yourself.
Don't say that. Twitter went crazy.
-My phone's ringing. Bye.
-OK, bye.
No one's working on the car.
No parts in Adana.
I'm checking out Mersin.
Why are you getting upset?
Why do you want to run away?
Excuse me, you aren't a team, are you?
You drive me here, he can't fix it,
the meter ticks away...
-That's another script there.
-What are you implying?
Nothing, it was a joke.
Using a fictional premise.
Do I look like
a guy who likes jokes?
No, I wouldn't describe you
as obviously or manifestly a joker.
You're more the quiet type.
You could give much shorter answers.
I know. But look,
Lokman makes jokes sometimes.
-And you don't lecture him.
-I'm busy. Go on, your turn.
-Let's go.
He can't just yell at me the whole time!
He's the only mechanic
between here and Ankara.
And the craziest
between here and China.
Look at the car.
-Hello, Arif?
-It's Sinan. Hello.
Where are you right now?
I'm going to make you a coffee
you'll kill for.
I'm going to read you what I have so far.
Say what you think, OK?
OK. But I talk straight, be warned.
I know. So you're ready?
I'm starting. Scene One. A deserted road.
-Like Develi. That would work.
-Sure, no idea. OK, Develi.
Our hero's car broke down.
A cab pulls up. The driver gets out.
The cab driver is Lokman.
"Hey, what is your problem?" he asks.
"I'm going to read what I have so far.
And you say what you think."
Well I'll be damned.
Talk about weird jobs!
You write everything down, huh?
"So you write everything down?"
-Hey, hold it!
-"Hey, hold it!"
I'm saying don't write, for God's sake.
You asked so just listen first.
OK, I feel mildly irritated.
Look, if it's a problem,
I can change the name.
Take that hookah scene.
You present me there
-as some boring smartass.
-But you're a cool type.
Type! Me, a type?
No, I meant character.
So the screenwriter
falls for the girl, huh?
-Looks like it, right?
-Aren't you writing a romance movie?
I never wrote personal stuff
word for word before.
So it's kind of messy.
Maybe it won't make a movie.
I'll have to make up the rest. God knows.
What went on between you and that jerk?
Our hero would rather
not talk about it unless he has to.
Ha, I get it.
-What do you think our hero should do?
-Hold this.
For one thing,
stop calling yourself "hero".
Hell, you call yourself "hero"
and me "type".
It's not meant like that.
Look, if you fall in a fast-flowing river,
the smartest thing to do
is to let yourself go,
let the current carry you.
Meaning you only drown if you try not to.
After all...
You're water and water is water.
So how could water drown water?
-Just so.
I don't get the metaphor.
What exactly should I do?
-Push what?
-The girl.
-Ha. Right.
Does the hero have a choice
if he's going to steal her heart?
-No, right?
Just wait. For the coffee.
Hope I'm not interrupting.
No. I'm not writing, just surfing the net.
It's about our wedding script,
where we take it next.
Where were we?
Day one was picking grapes,
day two crushing them.
Day 3 is wedding day.
I guess at the hotel, right?
It's kind of an ordinary ending
after such a fantastic beginning, no?
Well, yes. But what can we do?
I don't know.
But this is a pretty magical place.
Why not have it in the fairy chimneys?
-Love Valley.
-Love Valley of course!
-There's a valley called that?
-We didn't take you there?
So this is Love Valley.
It's an amazing place. Look.
Imagine it at night.
Rig up some fancy lights.
Give me credit. Look.
-It's beautiful all lit up.
The chairs?
Sure, they've been blinged up
at your request.
-It's not overdone though.
-Well. Each to their own and I respect it.
But what does it for me is the candles.
I can't imagine a wedding
without candles.
And beautiful things.
The band?
If we're happy with it so far,
let the band play on.
-Should they start serving?
Yes. Come on!
It looks fabulous.
-So now the guests can come.
There, the long-awaited moment.
We're so beautiful.
A phone is ringing. Yours, I think.
Yes, honey?
I'm at the hotel. Where are you?
-OK, I'll be right there.
Faruk is here. Come on.
You're all surprises these days!
The guys started editing, so I thought
"What's keeping me?" I ran straight here.
Good. How're things?
OK. Well, autographs
soon as I'm in the door.
-Same room as always, OK?
-I really missed you.
-Me too, Faruk.
You're right. Mum and I said the same.
They want to come do
the "asking of the hand" here.
Now look, kids. Surprises are great.
I love surprises, but...
Hearing news like this on TV was too much.
I agree. You're right.
Faruk, we're very fond of your parents.
When do they plan to come?
Tomorrow? No way!
To hell with your surprises.
It's my only slot.
-Hey, just move on.
Enjoy your meal.
You too.
-Sinan, do join us.
-No. I'm fine, thank you.
Yes, Sinan. Have a seat.
Sinan and Faruk
know each other from Istanbul.
What a coincidence!
-Yes, a happy coincidence.
-I agree.
Not such a big coincidence,
one's a screenwriter, one an actor.
Actually we were roommates once.
Yes. Sinan shared the flat
but never the rent.
Glad it still keeps you happy
after all these years.
What's wrong, Sinan?
Happy people irritate you?
Your wit hasn't developed,
unlike your biceps.
So menus have "cold starters", right?
It cracks me up.
Could be a movie title.
How about some hot entrees?
Come on. Let's make a move.
The men clearly have talking to do.
-We have guests tomorrow.
I'll see you out.
-Good night.
-Good night. Have a good talk.
What are you doing here?
-You came for that?
-Why the interest?
Seems strange, that's all.
Honey, you know Isfendiyar
has an open account here.
And what better place to write?
It's quiet...
-What's it about?
-Love and stuff.
-Yes, love.
Like how?
-Why are you so damn curious?
-I'm not curious.
Isfendiyar told me anyway.
He asked if I'd consider a movie.
Not this one for sure.
You couldn't act in anything I wrote.
Guys, I've had it with the tension.
Will someone explain or should I go?
-He can.
-Nothing to explain.
He doesn't have the face.
I hung out with a girl
one day, that's all.
Who happened to be my girlfriend
for three years. A small detail.
Is that glass anyone's?
I mean, don't I have a point, Eyll?
So my... My...
My closest, my closest friend.
My roommate. I mean, we're like this.
He hits on my girlfriend.
Three years! The light of my life.
Therefore, with your permission, I'd like
to raise my glass, this is my glass now,
my glass to people who get
happiness, their happiness,
from other people's unhappiness.
Congratulations. And to you, Eyll.
Congratulations. You made a great choice.
Looking from here, a superb choice.
Seriously, you picked
a first-rate, totally presen...
Totally presentable...
As a whatsit...
-Third-rate jerk.
-Sinan, look here!
-I'm looking. So? I looked!
Sit down or I'll mangle you.
-Make me sit!
-Make me sit!
-Sit down!
Don't use your hands on me. Asshole!
After all he did. Man, I...
Faruk! Sinan!
That got me in the eye!
Why are you hitting me? It got my eye!
Don't, don't! Please!
It got me right above the eye!
Don't touch my face!
I'll smash you in!
-I'll show you.
-Faruk, please!
-I'll fucking...
-Faruk, please!
Stay away! Hands off!
Bastard! Douchebag!
-Fuck off!
-Faruk, please!
-You know I'll...
-Faruk, please. Faruk!
-You're pathetic.
Look here!
Don't you try giving her ideas!
He's using my lines, damn it!
That got my face. My face, you hear?
Guys, guys!
You hear? Idiot!
"You hear?" is bad Turkish!
Work on your grammar!
I'll cut you up so bad!
There's no bottle left!
Get lost!
Dumbass writer!
Damn it!
I tell the asshole to keep off my face
and he hits me above the eye!
You hit him too!
He hit me first!
God! Plus I have continuity issues!
-It's cold!
-Because it's ice.
-Oh God. Will it swell up?
-Of course.
Oh God!
Faruk, can you explain this thing?
There's nothing to it.
A girl checked us two out
and picked me of course.
It wasn't serious anyway.
You're hung up about that?
My face is a mess, I'm on set tomorrow.
There's continuity.
I make money with this face.
And you go after that weirdo.
Do you think I'm in love?
Why else would you fight with a stranger?
No, that was over an old issue.
I'd say it was over a new issue.
He's a prick, huh?
That's a fair description.
You wrote the script, maybe that's why.
If he'd written it, you'd be the prick.
How do you mean?
On the face of it,
you're hitting on his girl.
-I suppose I am, huh?
Actually I...
-Maybe it's poetic justice.
If I don't stop that wedding,
the girl will marry that prick
and be unhappy forever.
That shit will cheat on her in no time.
How are you going to stop it?
I don't know. No idea.
-The girl has to fall for our hero.
Dumb idea, right?
All ideas are dumb.
Ideas are dumb in themselves.
Think hard. What good does thinking do?
But you say think one minute,
don't think the next.
I think about it a lot, that's why.
So is writing dumb too?
If you think about it, yes.
A very thoughtful speech, thanks.
You're welcome.
Helping our hero is my duty.
After all,
Im a supporting character, right?
You cheered up, huh?
It's the tea. Delicious.
-Not up to it, huh?
-No way can I get in that balloon.
-But Eyll is in one of them.
-Heroes are supposed to be brave.
Sorry about last night.
Sorry I disturbed you.
Faruk, he apologized. Say something.
-What else can I say?
-Sinan, won't you come with us?
No, thanks.
You can make up in the air. Come on.
-What's up?
-Faruk, Faruk!
Are you OK, sir?
-Let's undo this.
-Stay calm.
-What's up with him?
-My head's spinning.
Take deep breaths.
I'm scared!
Please stay calm. We're going down.
It's all rocks down there.
Are there no fields?
Sinan, calm down.
If you could help.
Faruk! Grab that rope!
Let's get out.
Careful now. Stay calm.
-Come on, honey.
-OK, no problem.
-Come on.
-There you go.
Are you OK?
Sinan, hold it tight!
I'll be right there!
-Faruk, run!
Faruk, run!
Eyll! I'm coming! Don't be scared!
Faruk, give back my trousers!
Sinan! Help!
My trousers!
Sinan, hold on tight. Sinan. OK, got you.
Sinan, are you OK?
What do we do? You know how to fly it?
-Kind of.
-Kind of?
Why would I know how to fly it?
From what I saw, you...
Don't touch if you don't know!
Stop jiggling. I can't concentrate.
-And your underpants make it worse.
-My mum made them, OK?
Your mum? She makes you underpants?
No. Just these.
Do my underpants really matter right now?
They did something with this. Sinan!
No. No rescue team out there yet.
Sure, if we hear nothing
by the evening news.
Yes. Pictures?
The tourists had cameras.
We'll check out what they have.
Sure. I was running behind it.
We can use that. Huh?
I can't hear you. It's windy here.
Sinan! Look out!
For what? I'm frazzled!
-Lean back!
-Against what?
Lean back!
Eyll? Eyll?
Eyll, Eyll?
Are you OK?
Eyll? Are you OK?
-Did I land the balloon, Sinan?
-You did.
Where are we?
Well, I can't exactly be sure.
-Sinan, where are we?
-No idea.
There are thorns everywhere. I don't know.
I told him I shouldn't do it,
I told him so many times.
-I think we're close to nowhere.
-Yes, almost there.
No, we arrived.
Welcome to Nowhere,
Mystery Town Municipality.
-Sinan, can we not drag out the joke?
-Yes, you sure dragged it out.
-Let's go.
-I dragged it out?
No, I did. I'm going. See you.
-OK, I... Where?
-Away from here.
So we lose each other too, huh?
Sinan, why are you so cheerful?
We're disaster victims.
You think it's a disaster
being stuck here with you?
-And if a bear jumps out?
-What bear?
You know, a huge, furry animal?
No way. You're exaggerating.
They're looking for us. Yippee!
Right, yippee.
So? What happened?
-They're looking.
-In the wrong place!
-Every place is wrong till you find it.
-Thanks, Aristotle.
It's my line, not his.
I had a character use it.
How do you drink that water uphill?
I just suck it in.
It's great. Never tried?
-No, I use glasses.
-You should try, go on.
Stick your head in and suck, like a straw.
How was it?
Like drinking water. No big deal.
But I told you,
unimportant things are important.
-Sinan, we need to find shelter.
-I agree. Go!
-Have the wedding in this valley.
-Why bring up the wedding now?
No idea.
I guess that I want to slag off the groom.
Don't start.
They can't search in this rain.
Right. Yippee!
You seriously don't want to be found.
OK, look...
I don't want to dent my image
with nonstop flattery,
but you and me,
the cave, the fire, the rain...
-Isn't it even remotely nice?
-I'm starving.
-And there really are bears here.
-Can we drop the bear-talk?
You're the guy here. I only said it
so you might think of precautions.
But you know,
your courage is truly reassuring.
No shit!
You're forgetting
Superman saved the balloon.
No, true.
You're the bravest coward I ever met.
There's a story for you too.
You can write about it.
We'll see. I will if it ends well.
-You won't if it doesn't?
-The boss wants a happy ending.
So what makes a good ending?
Well, if I wrote it...
I'd set it up
so that...
They never found us.
We'd be left here, just you and me.
What would we do here?
Marry, have a cave wedding.
It's a big cave. We'd just rattle about.
So we'd have kids.
What do we live on?
We'd be in farming?
No, banking!
Farming, of course. And livestock.
-We'd keep bears then.
-What is this bear fixation of yours?
-So that's the happy ending?
-No? You say then.
First the rain stops.
A giant rainbow comes out.
A helicopter flies out of the middle
and rescues us.
We get out of the helicopter,
you go your way and I go mine.
Something like that.
But in this story
the girl and the guy separate.
The girl and the guy marry.
Is this your story or ours?
You're the screenwriter.
It's you who writes it.
I'm freezing.
Well, now I'm here
maybe I should sit on this.
Because as you know,
I'm kind of chilly down below.
Maybe if the coat isn't enough,
I can hug you. For warmth of course.
No, this is fine.
And being cold myself.
I got soaked to my underpants
gathering twigs.
This is soaked too. It's useless in fact.
So maybe if I hug you,
it could be good for both of us.
-I mean a friendly hug.
Sure, a friendly hug.
With one arm, a light clasp.
I feel warmer already.
Mr. Faruk,
what's the latest on your fiance?
Trying to rescue her, I think you risked
your own life.
As you know, if you love someone,
things like that don't matter.
You have those pictures, right?
I mean, it's tough.
I understand, Mr. Faruk. My sympathies.
Are search and rescue efforts
still underway?
Right now,
search and rescue efforts
are on hold due to weather conditions.
We'll start early tomorrow.
I have to tell you,
I'm totally traumatized.
I mean...
Hello? Hello?
Right on cue it cuts! Beat it, mutt!
You got your way, they can't find us.
Are you in love with him?
How long have you wanted
to ask that, Sinan?
I asked first, but OK.
Since realizing you were together. So?
-Why wouldn't I be?
-Are you in love?
-Well, I decided to marry him.
-Vague answer again.
I want a straight answer.
Are you in love?
-You're trying to mess with my head.
I made a promise
and when you make promises you...
I'm getting married.
I'm hungry. It's best if we sleep.
If we sleep, time will pass, then...
We... If they don't find us,
we'll find them.
And we can somehow get on with life.
Good night.
In that case, let's do
our friendly hug lying down.
The fire will go out soon and we...
Lie down, hug me and shut up.
I'm lying down, hugging you
and shutting up.
-Where have you been?
-See what's for breakfast?
Where did you find that?
In there.
Someone must have hid the honey there.
Are they coming?
Are they behind us?
Stop talking, run!
Slacker, he still hasn't sent it.
I think we made it.
-They're gone, huh?
-Sinan, your phone. There's coverage!
Who is it?
Ah, Isfendiyar.
Sinan, son. I have an e-mail address.
And my e-mail address has an inbox.
I check it all the time
and don't see a damn thing from you.
Why is my inbox empty, Sinan?
I answered because you get mad
if I don't, but I really can't talk.
Where are you?
No idea. I came by balloon.
What's that shadow behind you?
Are those bees?
They are bees!
He hung up.
Guess he got stung.
They're coming!
This phone is done, coverage or not.
Maybe it's just dry calls we don't get.
But if the caller's wet...
-Was that a joke, Sinan?
I'm dying of hunger.
Why did you dump the bees nest?
Honey is no good on its own.
But if we find butter,
-we'll have buffalo chasing us.
-Sinan, can you shut up?
Sure, when I finish talking.
Shut up! Quiet!
I'd have finished long ago
if you hadn't said my name.
What are you thinking?
-About what?
-Last night.
-What about last night?
-You know.
About kissing.
Why do you keep talking
about embarrassing things?
Why's it embarrassing?
It just is. Stop it!
OK, fine. I'll stop.
Anyway it's tiring to talk
when you're climbing.
You know what?
You keep telling me to shut up, right?
It's a big risk to the future
of our relationship.
Excuse me, but what future
of what relationship, Sinan?
Do you see no meaning in it
when we look into each other's eyes
like we're doing now?
What happens when we do?
What's happening now.
What's happening?
I want to stay like this forever.
So you want us to stare
into each other's eyes forever
like idiots?
-Can you look over here?
-Happy reunion, Mr. Faruk!
Can we expect a press statement?
Can we expect a statement?
Thank you.
I got used to the minx.
I'll miss her.
So you miss cars?
It's between doctor and patient.
Can we avoid medical talk?
I have tons to do.
I need to pack, etc. So I'll be off.
Running to catch the balloon
was a heroic act.
-Still, next time less of the underpants.
That video of you got
over one million hits on YouTube.
That bit where your crotch is...
Bye, Lokman. Bye.
I'll miss you, Sinan.
Sorry, Hicri. I miss people more.
For God's sake!
Are you leaving?
The story?
I got to the end.
I'll finish it in Istanbul.
Shame! We were together all that time
and I don't even know the name.
I don't know it either.
Weren't you going to say goodbye?
When the genie of the lamp
asked what I wished for,
you were all three of my wishes.
But that was something Faruk had to win.
Guys like Faruk always win.
Is it nice to keep referring to me
as "something"?
No, you're right.
The Faruk you know isn't the one I know.
That's my point.
How do you mean?
No one is ever the person we know.
Won't you come to the wedding?
I doubt it.
But you dreamed it up, you must come.
Dreaming it up, I already saw everything.
Remember to dress up the chairs.
Come on, I can't.
They spike my blood sugar.
Come in!
I'm so sorry.
Sinan, welcome!
Hope you didn't come empty-handed.
Ha! Excellent.
Sinan, come in and grab a seat.
Alex, Elena, my writer friend, Sinan.
Why don't I start
reading the script right away?
Go for it. We're all ears.
This time I think
I've got what you wanted.
Cappadocia, establishing shot.
We're on a road. A long shot I reckon.
Suddenly a cab...
He's hurting. Although his head
is cluttered with images of Eyll,
he motors back to Istanbul,
writes his script
and takes a printout to his producer.
-He reads the script.
That's as far as I got.
I'll have the ending in a few days.
So it's your story.
You said to write a romantic comedy
and well, this happened to me.
Well I'll be damned!
Son of a gun even included me.
Now in that case who will play me?
Huh, Alex?
I mean, it can't just be anyone.
Good job, Sinan.
Now come over to me, come on.
Have a seat here.
Now what about the ending? I mean...
The guy must go win the girl.
He must put up a fight.
That's what will make him a hero.
He must fight undaunted to the end.
If he loves her,
he must do everything for her.
And he must win her.
Don't you dare, Sinan,
be it in a script
or in real life,
come to me with an art movie ending.
When is this wedding?
-24 hours is a long time, Sinan.
You'll win.
Do everything you can to win.
And don't come back without winning.
Sorry, he's my friend. Can I go with him?
How's it going, Lokman?
Welcome, Sinan.
-What's up? Back again?
I'm invited to a wedding. Let's go.
Have them drop it at the office.
We'll give you the first photo.
OK, the first photo is yours.
-OK, fine. OK.
-Faruk, you look great.
OK, I'm hanging up. Bye now.
So at the wedding,
they'll say anyone who objects
should speak now, right?
-That's where I'll jump in.
-And do what?
Say I object to the wedding.
That I can't keep quiet forever
and it's a bad match.
-Good idea, go for it.
-They'll ask why you object.
I'll say: "I'm in love with the girl."
And compared to the guy there
I'm a lot more...
Yes, a lot more?
-A lot more sympathetic.
Not exactly, but I'll say:
"If the guy doesn't marry her,
he'll be slightly miffed,
but it'll die otherwise."
-You'd look a total dick.
-I agree.
Hey, have you told the girl you love her?
-Straight out?
-Look, kiddo.
Tell the girl if you object.
Why make an ass of yourself?
They always beat up any jerk
who objects during the wedding.
And so they should, if you ask me.
Why hold back
and wait for the wedding?
Exactly. I'd beat them up too.
I already got the idea, Lokman.
That's too bad! What happened?
A squall? I'm not with you.
You... I'm so sorry,
I mistook you for Eyll.
Do you know Miss Eyll?
In the room? No, I lost you.
If Miss Eyll is there, can...
But she isn't, right?
Left walking? What was that?
A pearl of wisdom no doubt.
The language difference makes it tricky.
One language, one person,
as they say. If you...
What are you doing here?
Shut the door, keep out the draught.
Mr. Sinan, why are you bothering a guest?
I didn't mean to.
I thought it was Miss Eyll's room.
But it's hers.
I need to find Miss Eyll. It's urgent.
She went home
to prepare for the wedding.
Where exactly is her home?
Who's out there?
Someone threw a plum.
I don't believe it!
-Shall I go down?
-Don't be crazy.
-Anyway, let's mind our own business.
-Meaning what?
Well, I just kind of...
-I just thought...
-Go back to the hotel right now.
-It's our wedding!
-So? It's just fun.
-So be patient.
It's our wedding, not fun. Come on.
-You always do this.
-Come on, please.
-Look, don't miss this chance.
-Faruk, will you go!
Sinan, why are you here?
Can I get some yogurt?
I just have a slight burn.
So strained yogurt, full-fat...
Anything cool.
Sinan finally makes up his mind.
Yes, he'll openly declare love to Eyll.
And he thinks his script
is the best way of conveying his love.
So he reads her the script.
This way, he also swings it
so that Eyll, the true hero,
makes her decision at the story's end.
Thank you. For the yogurt.
It really helped.
And congratulations
in advance for tomorrow.
I'm going now.
Mr. Faruk, Elif,
let's get a shot of you here.
-Eyll, Eyll.
-Oh, sorry.
Over here. Go ahead, guys.
-Everything began with you, you know.
You're great, baby.
-Elif, this way.
-Eyll, this way. Eyll.
-What's the problem?
And let's have you here, Mr. Faruk.
And you beside him, Elif.
-It's Eyll.
-Oh God, sorry!
You're hilarious.
Come on, let's do the three of us.
Honey with me too.
What the hell is this?
The guy's famous. People are curious.
It's one big stunt for Mr. Famous.
Pass that!
They're curious about him? Why him?
Aren't you curious about stars?
Haven't been curious about anyone
since Marlon Brando died.
Firstly, welcome to you all.
Thank you.
OK, this is a grape harvest wedding.
I wish we could've done
40 days and 40 nights,
but we'll be together three days.
Anyway, please remember it as 40 days.
Guys, aren't we all here to pick grapes?
The baskets are there,
so let's get picking.
Come on, move those asses!
It's like for a fashion page.
Look at me.
The wine's left to ferment in barrels.
In a few months it becomes exquisite wine.
-What's up?
Call an ambulance, guys!
Some wedding plan!
A fiasco in the first minute.
OK. I'm here.
Who'd think of such moronic ideas?
It was a stupid idea from the start.
What was wrong
with a wedding venue?
See what comes
of madam's fantasies instead!
How would I know your mum can't walk
on flat ground, Faruk?
So it's my mum's fault now?
People wear heels at weddings.
But dippy you just drag them
into the fields in the baking sun.
Why do you think we put up
that hulking canopy?
-The entire media took pictures!
-Everyone did.
If we'd carried on a bit longer
they'd all have been dancing.
Everyone saw
my mother-in-law's panties.
Weird that I'm seeing
so much underwear lately!
Eyll. Are you mocking me?
No, Faruk. I'm just in shock.
Coming, Mum. I'm right here.
I'm right here.
-This may be a good sign.
-How do you mean?
Well, your wedding scenario
didn't do the guy any favors.
So is life full of signs?
Yes, sure.
And that dumb question
is a sign for me to turn in.
Up we go.
Love-struck people
are zero fun to be around.
Look at you. You weren't in love
the day you arrived.
You were a great company.
But now you're unbearable.
-Good night, Romeo!
-Good night, horse-growler!
I had a bit to drink.
Good health!
No way!
Why would drink mean good health?
It's a good opportunity
to get back at Faruk.
That's why you're trying
to mess with my head.
Well, I see it like that. I don't know.
You aren't sure either.
That's my reading of the script.
I wasn't sure.
What changed?
Now I'm sure.
How do I know it's not just a ploy
for something to write about?
You're a screenwriter.
This story will end
and you'll go write others. It's your job.
Yes, but this time
I didn't make up the story.
-Plus I never liked Eyll, you know?
I don't know. It's like...
She only worries about
making other people happy, she...
Never mind.
I came here to thank you actually.
You reminded me of me. Thanks.
Maybe we should all do it. I mean,
write down our experiences and from that,
see how to play our role in life.
Or how we've played it, I don't know.
And it was so nice of you
to pick me as the leading lady.
And our leading lady
exits to decorate the chairs.
What's going on?
They're coming down the steps.
-Can't you see?
-No! You have the binoculars.
-I can't see.
-I'll talk you through.
The bride and groom sit at the table.
If anyone can show just cause
why these two may not be lawfully wed,
let them speak now
or forever shut their mouths!
Any objections?
We found
no lawful impediment to your marriage.
So I ask: Do you, Faruk Erbilek,
take Eyll Neimolu as your wedded wife?
This time it's a question
I was prepared for.
-What's going on?
-Jackass is talking, what else?
This is a very exciting moment
for me. As you know,
-I married a few times on camera.
-We're on camera now, Faruk.
But this is something else,
a whole new feeling.
And in answer to your question...
I say yes!
-What's up?
-Jackass said yes.
The girl?
Do you take Faruk, son of Salih,
as your wedded husband?
Yes, I do.
It's all over.
Doesn't it work?
Do you have a pen that works?
Thanks for everything.
Give me your blessing.
Beats me why
you have to leave at this time.
Lokman said
he'd drop me at the bus terminal.
And if I find a bus to Ankara,
I'm all set.
OK, your decision.
I missed the wedding
so the wedding comes to me?
Or am I just confusing
dream and reality?
No, I did get married.
I'm here alone on honeymoon.
-What happened?
-The pen didn't work.
-How do you mean?
-It was a last sign.
I stood up and said:
"As the pen doesn't work
and my head is a mess right now
thanks to some dreamer,
and all I can think of
is that goofy guy's eyes,
the things he said and his underpants,
I can't sign this," I said.
Well, I wish I'd said it.
Anyone have a pen that works?
I need a pen.
Eyll! Wait!
I didn't say a word,
I just ran here like Julia Roberts.
The car?
But look at my heels.
I ran part of the way.
But after that I needed the car.
-Why did you lie?
-I don't know. It made a better story.
-You running was good too.
-But it's been done, right?
Excuse me, sorry!
What need have I of millions
When your love fills my heart?
What use are wealth and fortune
When you're gone from my side?
Here a glad day, there a sad day
Life slips by in its own way
Foul weather or fair
It's all to share
Gold and silver, pearls and diamonds,
Rubies, emeralds, empty joy
An honest smile
A sweet word, a little kiss
A loving glimpse is more than enough to me
What need have I of wealth
When your love fills my heart?
What good is a golden crown
When you're gone from my side?
Here a glad day, there a sad day
Life slips by in its own way
Foul weather or fair
It's all to share
-I'm really sorry.
It's Isfendiyar. Come on.
-Sinan, congratulations to you both.
On a marriage made in heaven
and a great film.
-It's all thanks to you. Thanks.
-Thank you!
Sinan, well done, as I said.
This is just what I wanted.
And I want another right away.
-The same again.
It must be romantic, funny
and have a happy ending.
-I'm not with you.
-Bye now!
-Sinan, what's he saying?
-The boss wants another one.
What? So a new romance, a new hero, huh?
No, come on.
Eyll, but you can't
keep running away from weddings!
Izzet! She's running off again.