Boy Genius (2019) Movie Script
1
And finally Emmett Charles
is our regional debate champion
and will go on to compete
in the state championship.
Let's go Emmett!
Let's go Emmett!
Woo!
- Let's go, Emmett!
- Woo!
- Way to go, Emmett.
- Thanks Ms. Ally.
- Way to go!
- Thanks, Mr. Hume.
Let's go, Emmett!
And in case you missed--
Way to go, Emmett.
Don't forget to
congratulate Emmett Charles.
- Way to go, little bro.
- Thanks, Luke!
Oh, I have tutorials,
don't be late.
- Mom will be very mad, okay?
- I got you.
Why does any trophy
need to be that big?
It's a disgusting
display of triumph.
- Triumph!
- Guys.
- Freedom! - Guys.
- Stella!
- Guys.
- Ya know, Mac had a few good points in that last round,
- but his fuel argument was weak.
- Guys.
Well it's all for the nothing
if you don't have freedom.
- Guys.
- Braveheart.
It really does apply to
nothing and to everything.
Man, I'm just feeling so much
love in here this morning.
- Guys.
- You should really carry that thing
around with you every day.
So, did you guys
finish all the movies?
I didn't. I got Ferris
Bueller's, Clueless,
The Virgin Suicides,
and Breakfast Club left.
We can't discuss the archetype
for high school movies
if you don't see the originals.
John Hughes, Mario Van Peebles,
Penelope Spheeris, Sally
Potter, George Lucas.
I mean, look at
Splendor in the Grass.
Could there be any
better narrative
about teenage heartbreak,
loss, stagnancy,
and the fragility
of the human mind?
That's gotta be a
rhetorical question.
Guys,
after homework today,
you gotta get goin' on
some of these movies
- or we're never ev--
- Yeah!
I gotta go anyway.
I gotta finish my calculus, world history,
and social studies homework
before the first bell.
Oh, crap sticks.
Wait up!
Hey, congrat--
- Bless you.
- Thanks.
You get nervous around
me, don't you, T?
No. Why would you think that?
'Cause when you get
nervous, you sneeze.
Right, I'm nervous that the cops
are gonna show up and
I'm gonna be in trouble
for talking to
a 12 year-old.
Talking's not a crime.
Bless you.
Hm, I like how you're
accessorizing today. Subtle.
You got a real Kanye meets
the Stanley Cup vibe going.
Oh, really great pop culture
references there, Joy.
- Really.
- Oh, get your Halloween hand off of me.
All right, well,
we've gotta go to class.
So, bye Emmett. Let's go, Joy.
Well this has been a
lot of fun, Mr. Little.
- See you later, Stuart.
- Stuart Little.
Oh the mouse, the
E.B. White classic.
Yep, I got it. I'm
small, may seem a bit mousey.
Again, Joy, great reference.
- Mm, another great comeback.
- Okay.
Hey Cole, be there.
Bye.
Tonya, Tonya, Tonya, Tonya.
So funny and smart.
Let's go to the movies.
Let's go get coffee.
Let's go watch an old black
and white movie together
on a lazy Sunday with
some deep dish pizza.
Oh, oh hey, Mac.
I know you had your heart set
on winning and going to State,
but I mean, you're
a great debater
and a valiant competitor.
It's just, your fuel
argument just lacked--
- I can't believe this.
- What?
Why do you think I want
constructive criticism from you?
- I was just--
- You're a child.
- I'm just--
- Yeah, no, I know.
Okay, we all know the prodigy
with the single mother
and the screwed-up brother
who carries the hopes
and dreams of his entire
race on his shoulders story.
But you're 12.
Okay, you don't
actually know anything
about life and how hard it is.
I mean, how can you even know
what winning and losing means?
Failure is...
Oh my God,
I just cracked
the perfect prodigy
puzzle, didn't I?
- You've never failed.
- Yes I have.
- No you haven't.
- I haven't tried not to fail.
You just succeed and
succeed and succeed
and I bet, if given the choice,
you would choose to succeed
over almost anything.
Who do you do it for,
because it's not for you.
You're a child.
Your prefrontal cortex isn't
developed enough to know
when or why you should
give up or give in.
Emotionally you're not even 12.
You're like 10.
- Good morning.
- Okay. Okay!
- Talk to her.
- Get away.
- Hey Selma.
- Hm?
We think we should discuss
what's been happening
around here the last few months.
- I know we're all very concerned about the safety of our campus.
- Yeah.
But we haven't had an
incident in a few weeks,
and I think this
means the perpetrators
- know we're on to them.
- Them.
I'm sorry, who is them?
Being a victim, I'd like
to know where my stuff is.
I don't know they
know we're on to them.
What it means is they're aware
that we know what's happening.
Oh, I'm sorry, is that a riddle?
I don't understand your
verbal Sudoku, Selma.
I just wanna know
where my crap is!
Carol, we can calm down now.
Sorry to interrupt.
I'm Detective Gregory. I was called.
Oh yes, no, I called you. I thought it
was time to bring in the authorities.
- Thank you. Thank you for coming.
- Really?
You took it upon yourself to call
the police without even a discussion?
Mr. Hume, you forget, we have a
system in place here. We have Floyd.
Oh Floyd! You mean our
crack security ace who naps
between the hours of 11 and 2?
Floyd, the master sleuth
who can sniff out
a Papa John's ten
miles from here,
and who never misses
a staff birthday cake?
Floyd, the powerless Dumbledore
of our hallowed campus and the--
You are illustrating
my point perfectly.
She was literally
just insulting you
for always eating food, and
then you grabbed a donut?
Shouldn't you be out
patrolling somewhere?
Well, I'm here to--
Look, my laptop was stolen.
Okay, so that's what
we're here about.
And I am writing an
extremely personal
autobiographical novella
that I did not back up.
And I am very foggy about a lot of the
events of my past because of an accident
with a hammer, a can of paint, and a
raccoon so you can imagine my desire.
You know what, okay, thank you, Carol.
I think we should let the detective--
Not all of us remember why we have a
five inch scar on the bottom of our foot,
or why our right thumb
is straight as a board
and the left one
looks like a fishhook.
Okay, I'm gonna talk
to all the victims.
- I just caught a salmon with my thumb.
- I'll get this figured out.
She's just bending her thumbs.
I know, and this--
- Start with me.
- Okay.
You can do me last.
I'll do you next, talk to you.
- You'll do me next?
- Next.
Finally a man in a blazer,
not in a vest.
You know what, that's
a low blow, Carol.
- That is a low blow.
- Hm!
So how come you haven't you
reported these thefts yet?
Well, we handle
internal conflict
with Parent-Teacher Council.
I didn't wanna disrupt
the entire campus
over a few stolen purses.
I mean, seven laptops,
12 phones, jewelry, cash,
four purses, wrestling trophy,
and three desktop
computers from storage.
It's hardly a few purses.
Did you and Mr. Hume
have a weekend getaway
or a phone conversation?
I think he's just concerned
about what's going on here.
Well, Larry is just
full of concern.
I don't understand why
you're not concerned.
In my career as a
moderately successful novelist,
- Excuse me.
- and perennial SAT tutor,
I've learned that
diligence, a word
on today's vocabulary list,
is the key to success.
So, it's important to
be here for every class.
In fact, every minute
- is important.
- Sorry.
- Oh.
- Sorry.
Sorry, my bad.
My bad, sorry.
Pardon me.
Pardon me.
Pardon me, sorry.
This is really more
disruptive than I anticipated.
Okay.
Punctuality.
This is a word you should
know not only for your SATs,
but also for life
in general, yes?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, it worries me that only
three of you are nodding.
Moving on.
Who can tell me the meaning
of the word divisive?
Divisive.
This is the word that
describes the relationships
most of you have
with your parents.
- Yes.
- Uh, annoying?
Tending to cause disagreement
or hostility between people.
That is exactly right. Ha, see?
You can thank Google.
Okay, that would be
described as cheating.
Please define for me importune.
To ask someone pressingly
and persistently for
or to do something.
All right, now I'm
gonna have to ask you
to put your phone on my desk.
I didn't use my phone.
All right. Define equivocate.
To use ambiguous language so as to
conceal the truth or avoid committing--
- Obdurate.
- Stubbornly refusing to change one's opinion
- or course of action.
- Officious.
Assertive of authority in an
annoyingly domineering way--
Did you memorize
all of the SAT words?
No, I don't think so.
These are words that I
just looked up on Google.
So, they're just
Google definitions.
I'm not sure how they relate
to the Merriam-Webster's
- or the Oxford--
- Yo, how many words did you look up?
Like a hundred?
No, 7,346.
What?
You need to be asleep, sir.
I will in a minute.
Is your brother asleep?
Yeah.
Come on.
When you met him, was he happy?
Yes, he was.
Always.
But then he wasn't.
Baby look, it's too late to be
asking me difficult questions.
Now go.
I'll be in in a
minute to tuck you in.
I'm not a baby.
No, but you're my baby.
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
- This has got to stop.
- Everything okay, Mr. Hume?
Emmett, yes.
No, everything's fine.
I just misplaced my wallet.
- Okay.
- Okay.
How could you, Emmet?
Did you finish the homework?
- No can do.
- Come on, dude.
I offered you a
deal and you declined.
It's blackmail.
Look, I can't let you drive the car.
Mom would kill me, man.
Then explain to Manatee over here why
you're not turning in your homework today
- and why you're gonna have to--
- Hey! Did someone here just--
did someone just call me
Manatee again?
Did I hear that again?
It is Mr. Hume.
It's on the chalkboard if you forgot.
Okay? I'm not a manatee, okay?
I don't know if it's 'cause of my big
nose, which is genetic, okay?
Actually turns out I have a small head.
So joke's on you.
There's nothing about
me like a manatee,
except for my weight,
and my whiskers.
So if I hear it again,
we're gonna bring back Friday pop quizzes.
Who wants that? Does anyone want
the Friday pop quizzes? No?
I didn't think so!
Okay, fine.
All right, you
can drive us home.
All right, okay, everyone
open your books please
to page 46.
Here you go.
How'd you know I
was gonna say yes?
You're my brother
therefore an easy mark.
Mr. Emmett Charles is gonna walk us through
a little something called surface tension.
Emmett.
Sorry, sorry, Mr. Hume.
I just had a favorite
French film marathon
this weekend and it's
just so hard to let go.
- Emmett.
- The easiest way to understand surface tension
is with a cork and
a glass of water.
Look, just pay attention
and be careful, all right?
Ooh, this baby purrs like a--
Don't, all right.
Look, you know nothing
about cars, okay?
Just don't.
Look, just focus on the driving.
All right, that's
all I wanna see.
Hey, put two hands on
the wheel, ten and two.
Get your head in the car!
I mean, you can't
even reach the pedals.
Emmett.
Emmett, turn the radio down!
Move, quick!
Over, over, over.
No, ow!
Ow.
Looks like a 453
with a side of doh! Ooh.
- Mm-mm.
- This dog'll hunt. No need for a wrecker.
Got you, Floyd,
notated. Thank you, over.
All right, son?
Well, it looks like
you've got yourself
quite a clunker, here.
Look, I was driving, all right?
Wait, no, wait I was--
Look, there's no upside to it.
There's no upside to
telling the truth.
All right, I'm supposed
to be the responsible one.
You're just a kid.
If anyone's asking,
I was driving.
Why don't you take a cue
from your brother, Luke?
Get some homework done
while you're waiting.
I like to do my
homework at home.
Hey, I'm so sorry.
I had to wait for another
nurse to cover my shift.
Not a problem, Mrs. Charles.
Let's go guys.
Let's not keep Ms.
Ally any longer.
Sorry, Ms. Ally.
You don't worry, Emmett.
Just get some rest for the
state debates and the SATs.
Luke, don't text and drive.
Yep.
Sorry for all the
trouble, Ms. Ally.
No problem.
Yeah, yeah.
I know.
Let's study.
Wow, man.
Hey, not bad, Emmett.
You don't suck nearly as bad
as Luke said you would.
Well, we didn't see a Tonya
Smith or a school bus.
Where are you guys goin'?
We might go see
Craig in the Ward.
Probably not, man.
Luke, I thought I told you--
Look it's, it's fine.
We're fine.
We're not gonna go
there, all right?
Okay. See you here, seven.
- Yeah! Seven.
- Okay? Seven, right. Okay.
You told me
You'll be going away
We'll be seeing each other
Other days
- Sweet spin
- Okay.
My hands have constant
Sorry.
Uh, yeah, he's not usually late.
He's got these friends
that make him late.
Oh. Do they lock him in a
room and tie him up?
No.
Then they don't make him late.
How old are you?
Old enough.
For what?
Okay, yeah, I understand.
I'm 12, and yeah, I'm
immature and weird.
I get it.
If you say so.
What is that?
Oh, this is a new book
that I'm working on.
A mystery.
Oh.
Scooby Doo or Sherlock Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes.
Yeah, I was gonna say.
True crime.
Okay, that's my mom.
- Oh.
- Thank you.
Thanks Mrs. Locke, all right?
- All right, bye.
- Bye.
What's wrong?
Mikey got caught trespassing.
He told the officer he
thought the house was empty.
It wasn't, so he's
being kept overnight.
Hey, what about Luke?
Luke stayed in the car.
Thank God.
They won't press charges.
But, uhm, we have to go
and pick him up.
Okay, well, Mom, it's okay.
If he stayed in the car,
- then it should be fine.
- No, no it's not okay.
What if he had gone
in that house, hm?
What if the homeowner had a gun?
Mikey's been getting in
trouble since the third grade,
but I can't blame Mikey
because Luke chose
to be there with him.
The choices you both
make will affect
the rest of your lives.
The friends you hang out
with, all of that matters.
Okay.
Look over your shoulder!
Look over your shoulder!
Fear, horror, pain, death!
Okay, you got it?
You five try it. More fear.
- Go.
- Ms. Jensen,
how does this relate
to Thanksgiving?
Wow, to be young and
innocent again like you, Joy.
I mean think about it.
It is a turkey holocaust
every November.
You don't think those
birds know it's coming?
Have some empathy, Joy.
Think-- Hi.
Woo, it's hot out here.
- Ew.
- I'm dehydrated.
- Wow, so where were we?
- Ew.
Be afraid, be afraid,
move it, go!
You're so good.
You have such a mastery
of the instrument.
I wish.
My sister, she was first chair
by the time she was in 9th
grade, so I'm way behind.
You're not your sister
and you're exceptional.
Well, I wish I had
your confidence.
I'm totally insecure.
I'm small and I'm young,
and I don't fail, ever.
And what's wrong with that?
It just doesn't seem
like it's a good thing.
How can someone who
never fails be insecure?
I'm really insecure,
but I have confidence
in my insecurity.
It's a healthy insecurity.
I know what I know and
I know what I learn,
and I know what I love.
I know my heart.
Play it again.
- Bye.
- Bye. See you.
We heard you.
- Tonya, did you do the math homework?
- Yeah, yeah, I did.
See, I didn't do it,
so do you mind if I could see yours?
Yeah, I do actually.
- Don't talk to her. Don't look at her, don't touch her.
- What's happening right now?
- I think it's a fight. -Oh my God.
- What are you doing?
Get off me. Get off!
What are you doing?
Dude, come on.
Come on!
I'm gonna bring it home and
I'm gonna put it to bed.
Bring what home?
Emmett, what are you doing?
Come on!
This is just what the doctor ordered.
Today has been so boring.
Are you made out of
paper or what?
- More like papier-mch.
- What?
- Cut it out.
- Don't worry, everyone, I am fine.
Mac is Malfoy to my Potter. He hit me on the
mouth and our vascular systems are such--
He jumped on me, all right? Look,
I didn't mean to hit you. You jumped on me.
Are you kidding me?
Please get off.
I'm not gonna
fight you, you're a child.
- Can somebody please get this kid off of me?
- What is this sadness?
- You're just mad that I won the regionals.
- No, I'm not.
Okay, I still get to go
to State. I'll beat you there.
Ha, in your dreams, sir,
in your dreams.
Leave him alone.
Emmett, this isn't really going
the way you wanted it to, right?
Yeah, why don't you let go
and we can talk about it?
Emmett, he doesn't wanna fight.
Just get off.
- Yeah, come on.
- Seriously.
Yeah.
Have fun.
I was right about him.
Oh!
Oh, Emmett, I'm sorry.
- Here.
- Hey! Hey!
Luke, wait, wait, wait!
Oh!
Ow.
Are you okay, Emmett?
- I was just trying to help him.
- Let me see it, Emmett.
You all right, bro?
Thank you
both for coming in.
All right,
come on, let's go, Mac.
It really isn't up to me now.
It's gotta go to a
parent-teacher council.
Why do you need a
council or a committee
to see that Mac is a bully?
Emmett, it is my understanding
that you started the fight.
Mac will be suspended,
and unfortunately,
the same thing will
be true for Luke.
This is just very poor timing.
We're about to announce an ongoing
investigation at the school,
and it doesn't look good for
anyone when you come in here--
What kind of investigation?
There's been a rash of thefts.
Oh, I get it.
Don't you see?
We're in trouble, now
we're automatically
suspects in another case.
Suspects?
No, nobody is a suspect.
All I'm saying is
it's a bad time
to call attention to yourself
with negative behavior.
Bad for you, bad for Mac.
Bad for everyone.
And this is the second time
you've been in my
office this week.
Would you like to silence
your cell phone, Luke?
Oh, it's not mine.
I found it.
I don't want it anymore.
But Dad wanted you to have it.
We don't know what Dad wanted.
Do you think I'm like him?
What, Dad?
Yeah.
It's like Dad was really
smart, and I'm really smart.
Then couldn't I
have what he had?
Well, you're not
like him like that.
You only got the good stuff,
and I only the good stuff.
You don't know that.
Well, if something
starts to happen
or you feel really sad then...
What if I see things?
Like what?
Like my imagination.
It leaks out of my head.
That's not the same.
Dad was sick.
You're just strange.
Mom wants me to go to a
private school in Maine.
What?
But you didn't do anything.
Between Mikey and
the phone, I mean,
- they think I stole everything.
- But you didn't.
I should have just left
that phone in the hall.
I should have just kept walking.
You can't go.
I won't let you go.
Father, father, father
- Hey, T, we need to talk.
- I'm not your girlfriend.
- Okay, I don't belong to you or to anyone else.
- I know, and I respect--
And if I was your girlfriend, I would so
break up with you for that kind of behavior.
- But Mac is a jerk.
- But he didn't physically attack you for no good reason.
- No, but he just attacks with insults and nuanced slights.
- Emmett. Emmett.
- And passive aggressive behavior.
- You're 12, okay?
You can't control
everything and everyone.
You have so many
expectations for people
because, well, you're perfect.
The rest of us aren't.
You need to act
less like an adult
and more like a kid, Emmett.
Uh, but-- Being a kid means
being powerless and supine.
It means being immature!
Why would I want that?
Why would anybody want that?
So Selma, any chance that
this was an inside job?
You may call me Ms. Ally,
and I don't have time for
ludicrous conspiracies.
Tell me about the old
computers in storage.
They weren't even worth storing.
Whoever stole them
did us a favor.
And besides, Larry said--
- Well I'm sure it's nothing.
- What's nothing?
Well, Larry asked me about those
computers a couple of months ago.
He said they were
worthless and he wanted
to know if he could have them.
- Larry Hume?
- Yes, I just thought of that.
- He's a good man, Hume, even with his colorful past.
- Colorful past?
You know I think you should
really talk to him directly.
So you don't believe
that Luke Charles
found that iPhone
in the hallway, huh?
I don't.
I hate to believe the narrative
society creates for
a kid like Luke,
but all of the
evidence is there.
The narrative that--
for a kid like Luke?
Selma, Selma!
You're never going to believe--
Carol, everything's fine.
The detective was just leaving.
It's him or me.
Okay.
This is the one.
Okay, Eddie, listen.
If you are still not
getting it by Friday,
I can meet you here
at six after football.
Okay.
Me, dumb football player.
No. Do not perpetuate
that stereotype.
It doesn't do anyone any favors.
Okay, just keep working
on that one problem.
Okay, thanks, Mrs. Locke.
Here you go, Ms. Locke.
Laura.
Wow, that's great!
Okay, so see, all
that extra hard work
- that we've been putting in has been paying off, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
So you just keep working
on those daily vocab drills
and have a good night.
Thank you.
Hey Emmett, you need something?
Should you be drinking coffee?
I've been caffeinating
since I was nine.
Caffeinating.
Okay, so, I know that you
think that your brother
didn't steal anything,
but I still don't know
how I can be helpful.
You seem like a kind person.
Mm, thank you.
A forgotten person.
And you have access to a world
I can't even understand.
Okay.
I'm gonna forget the
forgotten person comment,
but I wanna know
what is this world
that you think I have access to?
Okay, well, you write
crime novels for one.
You understand how to
solve complex problems,
and you have access
to the white world.
- Oh!
- I don't have that.
Access
to the white world?
Yes, old white ladies get away
with all kinds of
strange behavior.
- You know it's true.
- Like what?
Well, we're drinking
coffee in the library,
which is not allowed, and
you're not supposed to park
in the librarian's spot
- and you always do. -Yeah.
And then you explain it like
your eyesight is goin' away
or the sign is
too small or some nonsense.
Well first of all, older people,
no matter their race,
have bad eyesight.
You could just start
dealing crystal meth
and you'd get some kind of
humanitarian award for it.
No, I don't think so.
Just started a chain of events.
I drove my brother's car, I
wrecked it, he took the blame.
I just initiated all
this bad luck for him.
No, bad luck is a concept,
not a foregone conclusion.
And your brother makes
his own decisions.
I know, but I'm responsible
for some part of this.
I can't be without him.
We're a good family,
together.
I'm such a sucker.
Okay, okay, I'll help you.
Fine, I'll try.
- I know a little bit about what's going on at that school.
- How?
Eh, I have a friend in
the police department.
Okay, we gotta figure out
who had opportunity.
What about motive?
No, opportunity
is easier to see.
Okay, let's go
over your schedule,
and can you read people?
I read you.
Honey, you have barely
glanced in my direction.
I am an onion wrapped
in a layer cake
wrapped in
a Terrence Malick film.
Which Terry Malick film?
Badlands.
Maybe Tree of Life.
Okay, why do I need to
be able to read people?
Because we need to
weed out as many people
as possible initially.
Otherwise, everyone in
the school is a suspect.
I mean I'm good at
seeing the detail
and beauty in someone
who's usually overlooked.
Okay, did you just make
all that up by yourself?
I'm not bragging.
It's just a fact.
Oh really? Mr. Smarty Smart-Stone,
why don't you tell me about me?
Well, you were
married, you loved him.
That's not so hard
to figure out.
I know you're a hard worker.
And you've carried
something for a long time,
a need to repair things.
It's in your eyes.
It's in-- it's in this room,
in between us now.
You just don't like
to help people,
it's like you have to.
Hm.
Okay, baby genius,
you've convinced me.
Let's get to work.
Like I was saying, opportunity.
It's the first thing
I think about when
I'm writing a novel.
Oh, in here.
I been wrong
A time or two before
But I don't wanna
hurt you anymore
Now I'm a different man
Yeah a different man
Let me help you understand
Now I'm a different man
A different man
I didn't know what it was
- Come on.
- I had to do
- I had to change
- Hi.
Before our love was through
Now I'm a different man
Yeah a different man
Let me help you understand
Now I'm a different man
I don't even know why
she's bringing it up.
I'm not ashamed of
my past, Detective.
It's what makes
me a good teacher.
All right I'm gonna show you
where these computers were kept.
I asked about 'em
'cause I wanted to see
if we could use the drives
for a robotics club
that takes place after school.
I like to connect the
extracurriculars...
Okay.
Sometimes I know
It was hard to be with me
But that was the only way
I had to be
Now I'm a different man
Yeah a different man
Let me help you understand
Now I'm a different man
A different man
A different man
A different man
Yes I am
Holy God and all
the angels in heaven!
- Ms. Jensen?
- I didn't have a class this period
so I decided to
take some me time.
School's over.
Oh?
Oh, it's Spartacus.
The character
development is amazing
and the fight sequences offer
some valuable choreography.
It's not all like.
Sure, sure, I get it.
Would you like me to close this?
Please, yes.
- Okay.
- Goodbye, Emmett.
Okay, we got multiple suspects
but our main contender
is Mac Thompson.
Okay.
No!
High school parties.
A constantly revisited
rite of passage
in literature and film.
But when you look back,
were they even any fun?
I take it you've
never been to one.
Nope, not one.
Okay.
- Oh, wait.
- Hey, y'all.
Who are you?
Oh, they're here to help us.
Weedee, Billy, this is Mary.
Mrs. Locke.
- Mary?
- Mary's fine.
Hi, I'm William or Weedee.
Weedee is better because Billy here
is also William, William Stanks.
He's not insulting me. My name is
a full sentence: William Stanks.
Thanks, Mom and Dad!
It's very nice to
meet you, Mary.
- Stanks.
- Mm-hm.
Are we at a movie theater?
Why are you eating
food in my car?
Movie theater, good one.
Where's the Milk Duds?
My blood sugar's always been an issue
and if I don't have a snack within
- a two hour window then I--
- Okay, forget it. Just don't spill anything.
- Yeah, Billy.
- All right, I'm goin' upstairs to ransack Mac's room.
Weedee and Billy run interference.
Mary, you'll be in the getaway car,
you know, just in case
we need to--
- What if Tonya's there?
- Who's Tonya?
- Emmett's crush.
- No, don't listen to 'em.
- Oh ho, ho, oh.
- She's just my friend.
Obsession.
Lois Lane to his Kal-El.
Jane to his Tarzan.
- Guys, stop.
- Elizabeth Bennett to his Darcy.
- Guys.
- Sloane to his Ferris.
- Scarlet to his Rhett Butler.
- No.
Yes!
- Ah!
- Stop, stop!
Okay, I-I like her.
Ooh!
Don't do
anything I wouldn't do.
Hey look, Mac's leaving.
- All right, this is it. Let's go!
- Okay.
Oh wait, wait. This never works.
- He's coming right back.
- How do you know?
Because I've seen a movie or two
and I've written this
in all of my books.
Someone always forgets something and then they
have to almost immediately come right back.
She's right.
We can't stay, we gotta go.
- Come on.
- Yeah, and somebody always says that, too.
Guys, come on.
- Oy vey.
- Oh.
- Come on!
- I'll go get some paper towels inside. Sorry.
- Come on.
- I said I was sorry, okay?
Hey, is anybody getting
that overwhelmingly
ominous feeling?
If it feels like acid reflux,
then yes, I've got it.
Okay, text us if Mac comes back.
That'll be in
about five minutes.
Sorry, here you go.
I'm out alone at night with
kids who are not my own
sending them into a party
where there's alcohol
and no adult supervision.
Drink that!
I smell food.
Tonight
I just wanna know
Baby can we go
Take me to the late night,
Late night show
Turn off all the lights
And let's dance slow
Hey Tonya.
Hey Joy.
Oh, hey.
Wait, you are the perfect
person to try these.
What?
We're starting our own
line of granola bars.
It's a big secret.
Joy has us hiding them
from everyone.
But we're ready to start
taste testing them now.
Oh!
That was what you were
hiding in your locker.
That was your secret.
That's definitely
what we just said.
Try one.
10 grams of protein.
There's no rest
Maybe I should
Quit romancin'
Maybe it would make me sane
- Is that tarragon?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
- Let me find the cilantro ones.
Those are my favorite.
Tonya, look, I'm really sorry.
Just please forgive me.
I'm still developing and through
puberty my emotional maturity--
Okay, gross. Can you please
tell him it's okay
before he says something
I can't forget?
I just wanna express
my masculinity in it.
Okay, I get it, I get it.
Thank you for apologizing.
You're welcome.
Okay, new beginnings, phew!
You guys have any idea where
the host of this party is?
Mac went to go get weed
from some Robbie guy.
Robbie from the Ward?
That's about a four to six
minute drive from here.
Whoa oh oh oh oh
Don't smoke it.
Don't worry, we weren't.
Good, 'cause you don't know
what you're getting
from the Ward.
It's usually laced.
Sometimes he laces it
with embalming fluid so--
The stuff they put
in dead people?
- How do you know that?
- I know Robbie.
He's not a bad guy, he just
makes a ton of bad decisions.
These are something else.
Feel good
Bright eyes
Oh, nobody saw that coming.
To the late night,
Late night show
Turn off all the lights
And let's dance slow
Mac's back, oh no.
Crap and kittens,
Emmett, Emmett.
Hmm.
I want it
Who's ready for some downtime?
Okay.
I want it
You guys want a little?
You guys down for this?
- Really?
- Cool.
Ladies.
We're gonna go, Mac.
What, no, no, no.
Come on, stay a little
longer, hang out.
What are you doing here?
Yeah.
Research.
Emmett says that there's
embalming fluid in that.
Oh Emmett?
How the hell would he know?
He's 12.
Emmett says he knows
the guy, Robbie.
And anyways, we don't do drugs.
We don't do drugs. Lame!
Somehow I'm totally
fine with being lame. Are you?
Yeah, actually lame's
my middle name.
Well the door's
right over there, so.
No I wasn't ready
Cool.
Too young to decide
I only feel love
I want it
You don't look at me
Like you used to
- What's up?
- Hey.
I want it
Oh no, no,
don't go there, no.
Hey, Eddie.
Mrs. Locke?
Yeah.
Can you do me a favor
and play that?
Weedee, why are you
still in my house?
- Who are you?
- Seriously, man?
We've been in school
together since kindergarten.
- Great choice by the way.
- Oh.
What are you doing here?
I'm the entertainment.
Oh hell yeah.
This next song goes out
to our party's host, Mac
What's goin' on?
Thompson!
Where's the music?
Woo, woo, woo!
Hi, sorry, sorry.
- Just two seconds.
- Give it up
- for Naughty By Nature.
- Nature!
Let's go, let's go!
Hip hop hooray
All right come on,
you guys know this.
Hey, ho You drew a picture
Of my morning
You couldn't make my day
I'm rockin' and you're yawnin
If you're here
When I get back...
Your funny flow is foreign
And a green card's on the way
Just, you better not be.
The Grilltown, Illtown
How can he expect to
be debate champ if he
can't even make an empty threat?
Such a lack of creativity.
I live and die for hip hop
This is hip hop for today
I give props to
Hip hop so hip hop
Hooray, ho, hey, ho
Hey, ho, hey, ho
Hip hop hooray, ho, hey, ho
You heard a lot about
A brother gaining' mo' ground
Bein' low down
I do the showdown
I wanna know who You're
believin' Hear your funny reasons
Even when I'm sleeping'
You think I'm cheatin'
You said I know you
Mr. O.P.P. man
Yo PP man,
Won't only see me man
You shoulda known when I
What is this?
Isn't that your grandmother?
My grandmother lives in Arizona.
'Cause I'm Naughty by Nature,
Not 'cause I hate you
You put your heart in a part
Of a part that spreads apart
And forgot that I forgave
When you had a spark
You try to act like something
Really big is missin'
Even though my name's
Graffiti written on you kitten
I love black women always
And disrespect ain't the way
Nice of her to
come to the party.
Hip hop hooray
No, that's not my nana.
Well, who is it then?
Hip hop hooray, ho,
Hip hip hop, hooray
There's many hungry
hip hoppers
Swerve what you heard 'cause
I ain't bailing no hay
Ain't choppin' no crops,
But still growin' every day
Here's a thunder sound
From the wonders found
From the underground town
Down the hill
Feel how Illtown
Drown smiles to frowns
Snatch crowns from clowns
Beat downs are found
Don't know me
Don't come around
Tippy tippy pause
Sometimes creepin' up
I eat em up
Your styles are older
Than Lou Rawls
I shout out and I didn't
Miss one friend
Fools get foolish, neither
Them or Parker Lewis knew us
You could have crews with
Shoes and can't step to us
I live and die for hip hop,
This is hip hop of today
I give props to hip hop
So hip hop hooray,
Ho, hey, ho, hey, ho
Smooth it out now
Oh God help me.
- Naughty by Nature!
- Hey!
Ho, hey, ho, hey!
Oh my God.
That was so awesome.
You killed it, M.
Well, hip hop is poetry.
I mean Kendrick Lamar
won the Pulitzer.
Hey, did you find anything?
There were two hard drives
hooked up to two monitors
and they were both running.
He's encrypted the main drive,
but they're online so
he's working on something.
I just didn't have
time to figure it out.
Billy checked the drive
that he dumped
in the trash, but
there's nothing on it.
It was completely scrubbed.
I didn't see any jewelry
or phones or anything.
Yeah, but that doesn't
mean it wasn't him.
No, this is good.
Oh boy, it means we have
solved a part of this.
Yeah, but that doesn't
change anything for Luke.
They still think that he stole
those purses and laptops.
Well, don't you worry about it.
We are gonna figure
this one out.
What?
- That wasn't open?
- Oh!
Luke, Luke.
God!
Yo man, did you just float
in here or something?
Make some noise, Twilight!
Sorry, sorry.
Man, it's really late, man.
Go to sleep.
You can solve cold fusion
tomorrow or something.
Luke, Luke, I know how
to take responsibility
for my actions, and I'm
going to tell Mom so we can--
A, No.
We can't talk
about this tonight.
Two, I'm already asleep.
And in conclusion please
wear a bell around your neck
- so I can hear you come in next time.
- Sorry, sorry.
Years, you just shaved
years off my life just now.
I wanted you to know
what was about to happen
before we made the announcement.
Luke will be charged with theft.
Why are the rules -different for me?
- What do you mean?
Why didn't I get suspended
after I went after Mac?
Why don't I ever get detention? I mean
I wanna grow up, but nobody will ever
treat me like a grown up.
I get all this special treatment.
You are an exceptional student and you've
never done anything to warrant suspension,
- much less--
- No, I'm a meal ticket.
- A meal ticket?
- I'm the golden goose at this school.
How much do you think
fundraising will increase
if the minority 12
year-old gets accepted
to Harvard or Cornell next year?
Dot told me you get
calls every week
from colleges about
where I plan to apply.
Dot, that woman is worth
her weight in garbage.
Even if I do something wrong,
it doesn't even matter because
I'm the big story here.
What about the kids who
actually need a break?
Everyone should be treated fairly and
I shouldn't be getting the special--
Oh, shut up you whiny
little know it all!
What do you wanna
be when you grow up?
You're a good little debater.
A lawyer, perhaps?
You might find out that the
law is fluid, malleable.
Different states mete out
justice differently.
In this state, if a child
commits a serious offense
they can be charged as an adult.
Did you know that?
So, if a deeper investigation
were to be undertaken,
one a person in my
position could green light,
Luke could be looking at some
pretty serious consequences
for that little stunt he
pulled in the parking lot.
Reckless endangerment,
felony property damage.
We got the estimate
back from the mechanic
for the school bus, and
that bill is teetering
ever so close to the
felony threshold.
A finger to the scales and Luke
wouldn't just be suspended.
He'd be staring down jail time,
adult jail time.
But you have no proof!
Oh my God, wow.
You really are naive.
But I forget,
you're just a child.
It would be a terrible
shame if Luke really did
get in serious trouble
for an incident
that seemed so out
of character for him.
One that seemed more
like the actions
of a very childish individual.
Wouldn't you agree?
Your brother is a loser.
Your father was a loser.
You're the only
winner in what's left
of your pathetic little family,
but you know that already,
don't you, Mr. Know-It-All?
Run along now, Emmett.
She's evil. She's like a combination
of Voldemort and General Zod
if Voldemort didn't
need to kill Harry
and was just running rampant
from the very beginning!
And she dragged my father's
name through the mud.
Well, that is awful.
And how does she even know
anything about him anyway?
I don't -wanna talk about it.
- Okay.
She knows what happened to him.
It's in my file.
What happened to him?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Okay.
I talked with a
therapist after he died.
That's good.
I guess.
He didn't just die,
he killed himself.
He had depression,
probably more.
He was only 30.
I was two and Luke was seven.
I don't understand why
you'd wanna leave your kids.
I don't think that's
what he wanted.
It's usually more
complicated than that.
Well, that's what it feels like.
He was brilliant.
People say I'm just like him.
That's heavy.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
How am I supposed
to deal with that?
I'm already facing the
clich of growing up black
without a father figure.
Now I have to factor mental
illness into the whole thing.
You know, we're not
like our parents.
Well what about hereditary DNA?
Okay, you got me there,
but we don't inherit
everything from them.
Let's hope.
It seems my dad was also
an awful ping pong player.
Well that's a little less
worrisome than bipolar disorder.
I guess.
Hey, let's go.
We got a mystery to solve.
Yeah, okay.
Uh, do you have any
laptops or computers
or anything like that
coming in lately?
- No.
- No?
Okay, onward.
I'm looking for a laptop.
- No.
- Computer?
No.
I don't know, watches?
No, no.
- Cell phone?
- Nah.
All right, thank you.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
I kinda want that
little fat guy statue.
I'm hungry and tired.
Okay.
And I wanna go.
I wanna find this thing.
I'm trying to catch a
case here, you're hungry.
And I call bull because in space
there's no oxygen so
you can't have flames
trailing behind a spaceship.
Fire in space.
It's like getting the
egg before the chicken.
Huh? Well, yeah I know but where
did the first chicken
come from, man?
Dude, I gotta go.
See you at water aerobics.
Hey, have any phones,
watches or laptops come in here recently?
Yep, all of that, every week.
It's right over here
Okay.
What's that?
When did that trophy
from Hart High come in?
Oh, a few weeks ago.
- You remember who brought it in?
- No.
- Any cell phones?
- Yeah, we have cell phones.
You got cameras here,
running in the store for security?
Yeah, pawn shop
equals high crime.
We gotta have
constant surveillance.
It's a standard little
thing we call technology.
Can I take a look at that
surveillance footage?
Who are you?
I'm Detective Crockett
from the police department.
And this is my intern
from the criminal
system program justice.
I'm Tubbs.
That's the best you can do?
I'm 12.
The fact that I even know what
Miami Vice was is remarkable.
It was the best work
Don Johnson ever did.
Oh, okay.
Follow me.
Can't trust people
in a pawn shop.
But this is exactly what I mean.
Access because of who you are.
Oh, come on. Miss Manners
over there would give anybody
access to the
surveillance footage.
Seriously.
Okay.
- I'll need the last six weeks.
- Okay.
It's that easy?
Again, technology.
The trophy, I can see you.
Oh.
All right.
The trophy came in
the week of the 14th.
I remember because I
had a lotta weird stuff
come in that week.
Here's the lady.
Yep, she's holding it, you see?
That's Miss Jensen,
the dance teacher at my school.
Yep, I remember her.
She had this weird outfit on.
It was like a fabric wet suit.
Did she bring anything else in?
Earlier that month,
not that day.
And then she came
back a few days ago
and bought some
of the stuff back.
- She bought it back?
- Yeah.
Huh, why would
she buy it back?
So, how does
Mac fit into all of this?
See that's the thing
I can't figure out.
Mac has all the
computers and Jensen
has all the personal items.
- Oh, thank you.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Could they both be thieves
and not know it?
Is stealing like that
trendy right now?
- Crime never goes out of style.
- Oh.
Oh. I'm gonna use that as the
tagline for my next book.
Oh wait, before I forget.
I read these and I'd
like you to sign them.
Okay.
Race to Beacon Hill
is your best work.
I can't believe the nun
was such a sociopath.
It's so dark.
Where does that come from?
I don't know, where does any
good story really come from?
The imagination peppered
with a little real life.
But that nun exists.
Do you know her?
Every former Catholic school
girl knows an evil nun.
So, what do all
your friends think
about you hanging out with--
An old white lady?
Well I
wasn't gonna say that.
You think I'd get as far with
all this if you were black?
When people meet you,
you're not being judged.
Except by you.
Don't pretend like you
don't know what I mean.
No, I know exactly
what you mean.
And I also know that
someone who says
that race doesn't matter
isn't being honest.
But you're painting with a
really big brush here, Emmett.
Do I meet your expectations
for an old white woman?
Do I meet yours?
For an old white woman? No.
I'm just saying,
people are disappointing,
and they say stupid things
and they do stupid things.
We just need more discussion
and more transparency,
less fear.
And we shouldn't assume
so much about each other.
Everyone's saying it, but how
do we actually do something
that's going to
change the way that--
Two.
- Right this way.
- Thank you.
What?
Hey, Emmett, where are you--
- So this is the road you started--
- Emmett!
- What are you doing here?
- Mm-hmm.
I thought you were
at Weedee's house.
Sam, this is my son Emmett.
- Sam is--
- A man with whom
you are engaging
in elbow politics
and laughing with your mouths!
Emmett, it's very
nice to meet you.
How dare you say my name, sir.
Shame on you
- for thinking you can--
- Mrs. Charles, I'm Mary, Emmett's--
Lover. This woman is a girlfriend
with whom I am passionate.
I have been writing Notes On A
Scandal with this woman for months.
- What's good for the goose, huh, Mom?
- I am not a girlfriend.
Emmett, if you would let anyone
explain, Sam is my boss.
Oh my God, Emmett, what are you doing?
You scoundrel. You huge jerk!
- Emmett!
- Come on, lover, we're leaving!
I'm so, so sorry about all this.
He's been upset with school
and his brother lately.
- Mary?
- Yes.
- This is Sam Evers, my boss.
- Hello.
We work at the hospital.
I'm starting medical
school in the fall,
so we were discussing that.
Medical school? Congratulations.
Thank you.
I'm gonna go, I am so sorry.
Sam, I will pay for
your dry cleaning.
- Oh no--
- It's okay, I'm good.
- Nice meeting you.
- It's no big deal.
Sorry.
Who doesn't love chocolate cake?
Communists.
You know, I was a
communist in college
and I ate lots of cake.
Hm?
In college, I burned my bra.
Would you consider
joining me for coffee?
- Hm.
- Hm.
I'm sorry.
I didn't hear you say
he was your boss.
Well, lucky for us he's nice.
He'll forgive you,
and I forgive you.
So, you'll be a doctor?
One day, yes.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, I had to work it out
with the hospital first
to see if I could keep my job
and go to school
at the same time.
If I can't, I won't be a doctor.
I have to pay the bills
and take care of you two.
That's my number one job.
That's what the
meeting was about.
And I ruined it.
Well,
it was definitely
more colorful than I expected,
but you didn't ruin it.
Mom, I'm afraid.
Afraid of what?
If Luke leaves, I'll change.
My brain will change.
Oh.
Are you afraid of shark attacks?
In the abstract, yes.
Well, it's the same thing.
You're afraid of something
that may never happen.
But you're aware of your fear.
So, if you start to feel
something changing inside of you,
you can do something about it.
We can get you the help that
your dad never received.
I wish I could go back
and realize what was
happening to him,
but I didn't understand it then.
I do now.
Whatever happens,
I'm gonna take care of you.
Okay?
And Luke needs to be
somewhere where he can develop
into who he's supposed to be.
Hey.
What did that cop want?
Oh, he wanted to know if I would
have breakfast with
him on Saturday.
That's your friend in
the police department.
Yes, he helps me with my novels.
And he's telling
you what's happening
on the other side of this.
What is this?
Your principal is going to try
to press charges against Luke.
What do we do?
Well, we figure it out.
That's her, that's Selma Ally.
I never thought
I'd see her again.
Wait, wait, who? Ms. Ally?
Let's see where old Selma goes.
What? Okay, is there anybody in
this town that you don't know?
It's unlikely.
Put on your seat belt,
Evil Knievel.
When I knew her,
her name was Selma Murphy.
I guess Ally is her maiden name?
Look at her.
I don't think
she's gonna see us.
Her house is cute.
Yeah, her old house
had blue shutters.
Periwinkle, that was
her favorite color.
I know this movie.
t's called Single White Female.
Listen.
Selma Ally and I were
best friends.
Yep, we were young mothers,
we lived next door to each other,
my son played with her
son, Paul, all the time.
We just did everything together.
And I didn't know it,
but her husband, Ash--
His name was Ash?
Yes.
Such a cool name.
I can already tell this
is gonna be a good story.
Sorry, go ahead.
You're probably too young
to hear this.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Well Ash, he was in
trouble with everyone.
He gambled, he owed
people money, he drank,
and he had a serious
thing for me.
But you were married.
Happily, yes.
But it didn't stop
what happened.
Oh, he was just one of
those kinds of men--
The rogue, the hunk, the
cowboy, the swashbuckler,
- the--
- Yes,
some of those, but not all.
I was a child.
I didn't understand
the amount of work
you had to put into a marriage.
I needed to be filled up
all the time.
I needed to look
forward to something.
My husband couldn't give
me that, nobody could.
Selma was my best friend.
We spent days and
nights together.
It's hard when you
have small children
and what you thought
was the start
of your life is actually an end.
We could talk about that,
be a support for each other.
We were at the beach,
all together.
Ash was great fun.
He loved to make a mess
and enjoy himself,
and Selma was like that, too.
We were drawn to them.
It was always summer
and there was always
something interesting going on.
And that fills you
up for a while.
We spent the night in
a wood framed cabin.
I went downstairs to
get a glass of water--
And had an affair with
Selma Ally's husband.
Mm-hm.
That's some low-down dirty--
Yeah.
It is.
And it gets worse.
How is that possible?
Someone contract leprosy?
After I finally got the courage
to tell Cal what happened
we got in a fight,
a really bad one,
and he walked out of the house,
got in the car and drove off.
He got hit by a drunk driver.
He survived but he was
never the same again.
We never spoke of it, and
about a year ago he died.
I know that we had some
happy years together.
You know, if this is
the type of stuff
grown-ups do to each other,
I wanna be a kid forever.
You're cruel.
I don't wanna be cruel.
I can't believe
you're a homewrecker.
A 70 year-old home wrecker.
I've made mistakes, one of which
was telling you this story.
Emmett?
You know I'm 61, right?
Emmett?
- Mary?
- Emmett.
Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me,
Mr. Hume is an old friend
from your roller derby days.
No, he's in my book club.
- Book club.
- Of course he is.
We have to talk.
Okay.
My Nicey Icee customer
loyalty card is missing.
- Okay.
- I was one icee away. I was one icee--
- Larry, Larry. Take a breath.
- You've got to be kidding.
- Where did you find the wallet?
- Jensen put it under a desk.
That's when it hit me. We've lost
sight of what's right in front of us.
- What?
- It's all the stuff that she bought back
from the pawn shop.
She's returning it all.
For some reason she's
trying to undo what she did.
I think the thefts are a
distraction from something bigger.
What could be bigger?
I mean, what else could it be?
- Something we can't see.
- It's gotta be money.
- What money?
- Parent-teacher fund?
No, you know, we gotta
get into Ally's office.
We gotta get into her computer.
Oh, that sounds easy.
I've got keys.
Then it actually
does sound easy.
Let's go.
Okay, what are we looking for?
Something that isn't right.
Let's start with
these pillows, wow.
Yes, thank you.
The palette in here is totally wrong.
Oh please it's
like Santa Fe in the '80s.
Okay, can we just stay focused?
Okay, here we go.
Hey look, take a look at this.
This is the parents'
fund accounts.
We had a fundraiser at
the end of last year.
Everything
here looks fine.
Have there been any withdrawals?
Looks like
there were 22 payments
over the last several months
to Paradise Construction?
- Have there been repairs?
- No.
You know what? This fund was
raised to fix gutters,
roof, theater lighting,
all the big stuff.
But the pipe in the hallway
closet is still leaking.
And the roof is still a mess.
I know! Oh, this is weird.
I can't click through to get
information on the payments.
What about the ledger?
Here it is.
Uh, uh-huh, I don't know what
I'm lookin' at.
- Oh.
- Wait!
I've seen this signature before.
Wait, wait.
- Selma Ally.
- Hi.
Jensen and Mac.
Mac's computer.
- It's a mirror.
- What?
- It's a mirror.
- What's a mirror?
Okay, so this page is locked,
the page is locked.
This is not a real website.
- Oh man.
- We're pulling up
a link to a different server.
We're pulling this up from
the computers at Mac's house.
Are you seeing what I'm saying?
- Yes, I am.
- What?
Yeah, if you try to
exit out, it won't work.
- Press the red button right there.
- This is the mirror.
- Right, right.
- Wait, wait.
Selma Ally is an
evil mastermind.
Mac definitely helped her
set all of this up.
And the dance teacher
was the distraction.
Miss Carol Jensen in
the role of a lifetime.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Uh, can I get a cheeseburger,
coffee to go.
Sure.
Order in.
Yup, got it.
What do you want, Mary?
I don't know where to begin.
I just, I--
I just wanted to apologize.
You're mistaking me for
someone who wants an apology.
Okay, well then if you
won't take an apology,
I'd like to at least
explain what happened.
No, you don't get to do that.
I was angry for a long time,
but it was never
about the cheating.
Long before you happened,
Ash and I were done.
He had already accepted
the worst husband
of the year award.
I ought to be thanking you
for being the last straw.
You weren't special, you know.
There were ten other
women before you.
Well, I've had a lot
of regret over this
over the years and
I have to be done.
I have to leave it in the
past, I have to move on.
I wish you could understand...
What, you're sorry?
I don't care.
I don't give a crap
if you're sorry,
and I'm not here to
make you feel better
about what you did and make
it easier for you to move on.
You ruined us.
You don't even know.
I never had a friend like you.
You were my sister.
Do you remember what it was
like when we were together?
Well, those were the happiest times of
my life. You were the best part of me.
And then you broke my heart by
never wanting to see me again.
- I did wanna see you again.
- That's a lie.
You never called me.
Your shame wouldn't let you.
You felt guilty.
And then you came
to Ash's funeral
with your crippled husband.
I bet you felt really
proud of yourself that day,
showing your face, owning the
misery you caused in so many lives.
But my heart sank the moment I knew that
you weren't there for me, to win me back.
You're here to make yourself
feel better about what you did.
Selma.
Blah, blah, blah.
Women ruin themselves
over a man or a job
or their pathetic vanity.
It's the same old boring
story, but we women,
we keep telling it
over again every day,
hurting each other.
What are we doing here, Mary?
Well, uhm...
Yeah.
You just remember
something, Mary Locke.
You're no better than me.
We're both cheaters.
Where is she?
Where's Selma?
I'm so sick of you and
your smug admin attitude.
Who do you think you are?
And what kind of a name is Dot?
Your name is Dorothy, not Dot.
You got that down?
Pretty crazy, right?
- This could be your next novel.
- Any idea where she is?
No, she never came back after you
made that call from the diner.
But listen to this, her
internet search history
is for countries
with no extradition,
and her password is
$tropical escape$.
All lower case.
And turns out she's
done this before.
She used a different name,
obviously,
but she used a dopey
teacher and a smart kid
to help her get away with it.
It's the exact same scheme.
In 2003, she cleaned out a
teachers' retirement fund
at a school in Northern Oregon
where she was the
assistant principal.
2008 in Rhode Island, 2010
in Jackson, Mississippi.
All aliases, all dumb
accomplices who took the fall.
There she is, there she is!
That's her, that's her.
- Carol!
- Danger!
Danger!
Danger, no.
- Danger.
- Please do not run or do whatever that is!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Okay.
- No, Carol.
You all stick with them.
Carol, Ms. Jensen.
I'm gonna go get that kid
who doesn't like you.
I'm gonna go stop that
crazy dancing lady.
Careful, careful, careful.
Careful, Jensen, careful.
- Careful Carol, go!
- I am definitely getting my steps in today.
Quit running, Carol!
So fast.
Thanks, Dot.
Oh yeah? No, no, no!
Selma was the brains!
I was just a pawn
in the brain's game.
Here.
- Attention teachers and students.
- Wait.
Today is Ms. Carol
Jensen's birthday,
and we thought the whole school
should give her
one collective hug.
And not in the abstract,
people, a real hug.
So if you see Ms. Jensen
in the halls,
please reach out and put
your arms around her.
Just stop her and
hug her until you see
Mr. Hume and two
police officers,
and the wonderful
novelist Mary Locke.
- Oh, hey, Floyd!
- Oh hey, hey.
Oh no, get away from me, Floyd.
Get away from me!
Oh, you're getting
a big hug from Floyd.
No, no, no, no, he's wrong.
My birthday's in June.
- I mean, I'm clearly a Gemini.
- Excuse me, excuse me.
- That's the two-headed thing.
- Wow.
I was putting it all back.
Selma told me to take
the laptops and the wallets.
Larry, I was
returning everything.
Carol, why?
Why would you do this?
Because I'm moving
to New York, Larry.
- What?
- Finally.
I'm gonna be a dancer
and an actress.
I mean actor, damn it!
- No, please, Floyd get off me.
- Oh, it's okay.
No, no!
No, it's Broadway, Larry.
If silver linings
are tinged with gold
and gold linings are
tinged with stardust,
you're very handsome
and powerful.
- It's just a few questions.
- Yeah.
- C.J. made me do this.
- All right.
- C.J.!
- Hey, hey, hey.
- No, he didn't.
- Yes he did.
He just called Carol Jensen C.J.
- I'm in love with her.
- Huh?
I love that woman.
Right, right, right.
She smells like maple
syrup when she sweats.
I know, they all do.
Woo!
Luke, Luke, it's all over!
I know, Mom just told me.
Dot called her from school.
It's awesome, you get to stay!
I wanna go.
What, why?
I want you to stay.
- I worked so hard for this.
- Look, I know you did.
We succeeded, we won.
I fixed everything.
Emmett, Emmett, Emmett
look, listen to me.
All right look, your
ability makes me
wanna know what I'm
good at, and I've gotta
be good at something
with a brother like you.
Look man, let me show you
what I did, all right?
You know, after I got
suspended from school,
I started to think
about something bigger
than just my sketches and
this is what I came up with.
Emmett, the private school
in Maine, it's an art school.
And it's the best art school
in the country.
So, I'll get to do
this all the time.
You're good at everything, but
I'm good at this one thing.
I need to go and get better.
Emmett, Emmett, come back!
I don't get it.
We figured out the truth so
everything should work out
the way it's supposed to,
you know?
So, why didn't it work out?
Listen, you could do everything
right and still fail.
Luke isn't going
to stay even though
I did everything I
could to keep him here.
Right.
I failed.
Is this what failure feels like?
Sort of, but it can
be a lot worse.
Uh-hu, we failed,
we failed miserably.
I wouldn't
characterize it quite that way.
Whoa!
So, didn't your mom get
- into medical school? -Yeah.
- Pretty brilliant.
- More than brilliant, she got a perfect score on the MCAT.
- What?
- For a smart cookie, you're taking a really long time
to figure this one out.
Oh.
It's my mom.
I take after my mom.
Everyone said
my dad was so smart,
but my mom is total
genius material.
She speaks six languages
and can solve
a Rubik's Cube behind her back.
Whoa.
Oh boy, lot of
revelations today.
It's a real biblical
sort of day, yeah.
Oh man.
So, you talk to Cal every day?
I do, I ask him his advice.
Tell him that I miss him.
But I do feel that he's
here with me always.
Could I be sitting
on Cal right now?
Oh!
Nah, he's over there.
- High Five.
- Yeah.
Yeah, guys.
Look at this picture, though.
Start her up, Mrs. Locke!
Wait, it's the 15th.
Hey Emmett, aren't the state
championships tomorrow?
Yes, I'm not going to attend.
I'm gonna let someone else win.
I can just win it next year.
I'm gonna fail tomorrow.
Well, it's not really
failing if you forfeit.
It is for me.
Well look, don't get used
to failing or
you'll turn into me.
Ah, I should be so lucky.
So connected to his emotions.
Ah, stop.
Emmett, what is this again?
Oh, it's a double feature.
It's The Piano followed
by The Godfather.
What? That's gonna take
us like six hours.
- Yeah, we have to be outta here by 10 p.m.
- I have to be home by 9.30.
Come on, people.
I mean it's our first meeting.
- Can't we just stay late one night?
- I'm staying for the double.
All right, what do you say
that we just start here
and see where we end up.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
All right.
Let's get
Weedee to taste test.
Oh.
Okay.
Hi.
Wow!
Just wait for me.
You gotta keep the staring to a minimum.
It's just getting super creepy.
Yeah.
Sometimes love
Is like a tornado
Can't stop where
The wind blows
So we wait for the calm
Sometimes love
Makes everything blurry
Can't see past the hurting
To who we really are
But sometimes love
Is making new colors
Even when the dark
Is taking over
And if you find
Your hope is gone
Love's all you need
'Cause it's all we got
Sometimes love
Can tear you to pieces
Bring you to your knees if
You keep holdin' on, mm
But a blank page
Is starin' at you
Waiting for a chance to
Make something beautiful
Original, wonderful
And brand new
'Cause we were never
Made to give up
As long as you
And me we got us
We can paint the world
That we want
But sometimes love
Is making new colors
Even when the dark
Is taking over
And if you find
Your hope is gone
Love's all you need
'Cause it's all we got
Sometimes it can feel
Like you're dreaming
Better than you ever thought
Or wished it could be
And if you get lost
Love's all you need
'Cause it's all we got
Sometimes love
Sometimes love
Sometimes love, mm
Sometimes love is
Making new colors
Even when the dark
Is taking over
And if you find
Your hope is gone
Love's all you need
'Cause it's all we got
Sometimes it can feel
Like you're dreaming
Better than you ever thought
Or wished it could be
And if you get lost
Love's all you need
'Cause it's all we got
And finally Emmett Charles
is our regional debate champion
and will go on to compete
in the state championship.
Let's go Emmett!
Let's go Emmett!
Woo!
- Let's go, Emmett!
- Woo!
- Way to go, Emmett.
- Thanks Ms. Ally.
- Way to go!
- Thanks, Mr. Hume.
Let's go, Emmett!
And in case you missed--
Way to go, Emmett.
Don't forget to
congratulate Emmett Charles.
- Way to go, little bro.
- Thanks, Luke!
Oh, I have tutorials,
don't be late.
- Mom will be very mad, okay?
- I got you.
Why does any trophy
need to be that big?
It's a disgusting
display of triumph.
- Triumph!
- Guys.
- Freedom! - Guys.
- Stella!
- Guys.
- Ya know, Mac had a few good points in that last round,
- but his fuel argument was weak.
- Guys.
Well it's all for the nothing
if you don't have freedom.
- Guys.
- Braveheart.
It really does apply to
nothing and to everything.
Man, I'm just feeling so much
love in here this morning.
- Guys.
- You should really carry that thing
around with you every day.
So, did you guys
finish all the movies?
I didn't. I got Ferris
Bueller's, Clueless,
The Virgin Suicides,
and Breakfast Club left.
We can't discuss the archetype
for high school movies
if you don't see the originals.
John Hughes, Mario Van Peebles,
Penelope Spheeris, Sally
Potter, George Lucas.
I mean, look at
Splendor in the Grass.
Could there be any
better narrative
about teenage heartbreak,
loss, stagnancy,
and the fragility
of the human mind?
That's gotta be a
rhetorical question.
Guys,
after homework today,
you gotta get goin' on
some of these movies
- or we're never ev--
- Yeah!
I gotta go anyway.
I gotta finish my calculus, world history,
and social studies homework
before the first bell.
Oh, crap sticks.
Wait up!
Hey, congrat--
- Bless you.
- Thanks.
You get nervous around
me, don't you, T?
No. Why would you think that?
'Cause when you get
nervous, you sneeze.
Right, I'm nervous that the cops
are gonna show up and
I'm gonna be in trouble
for talking to
a 12 year-old.
Talking's not a crime.
Bless you.
Hm, I like how you're
accessorizing today. Subtle.
You got a real Kanye meets
the Stanley Cup vibe going.
Oh, really great pop culture
references there, Joy.
- Really.
- Oh, get your Halloween hand off of me.
All right, well,
we've gotta go to class.
So, bye Emmett. Let's go, Joy.
Well this has been a
lot of fun, Mr. Little.
- See you later, Stuart.
- Stuart Little.
Oh the mouse, the
E.B. White classic.
Yep, I got it. I'm
small, may seem a bit mousey.
Again, Joy, great reference.
- Mm, another great comeback.
- Okay.
Hey Cole, be there.
Bye.
Tonya, Tonya, Tonya, Tonya.
So funny and smart.
Let's go to the movies.
Let's go get coffee.
Let's go watch an old black
and white movie together
on a lazy Sunday with
some deep dish pizza.
Oh, oh hey, Mac.
I know you had your heart set
on winning and going to State,
but I mean, you're
a great debater
and a valiant competitor.
It's just, your fuel
argument just lacked--
- I can't believe this.
- What?
Why do you think I want
constructive criticism from you?
- I was just--
- You're a child.
- I'm just--
- Yeah, no, I know.
Okay, we all know the prodigy
with the single mother
and the screwed-up brother
who carries the hopes
and dreams of his entire
race on his shoulders story.
But you're 12.
Okay, you don't
actually know anything
about life and how hard it is.
I mean, how can you even know
what winning and losing means?
Failure is...
Oh my God,
I just cracked
the perfect prodigy
puzzle, didn't I?
- You've never failed.
- Yes I have.
- No you haven't.
- I haven't tried not to fail.
You just succeed and
succeed and succeed
and I bet, if given the choice,
you would choose to succeed
over almost anything.
Who do you do it for,
because it's not for you.
You're a child.
Your prefrontal cortex isn't
developed enough to know
when or why you should
give up or give in.
Emotionally you're not even 12.
You're like 10.
- Good morning.
- Okay. Okay!
- Talk to her.
- Get away.
- Hey Selma.
- Hm?
We think we should discuss
what's been happening
around here the last few months.
- I know we're all very concerned about the safety of our campus.
- Yeah.
But we haven't had an
incident in a few weeks,
and I think this
means the perpetrators
- know we're on to them.
- Them.
I'm sorry, who is them?
Being a victim, I'd like
to know where my stuff is.
I don't know they
know we're on to them.
What it means is they're aware
that we know what's happening.
Oh, I'm sorry, is that a riddle?
I don't understand your
verbal Sudoku, Selma.
I just wanna know
where my crap is!
Carol, we can calm down now.
Sorry to interrupt.
I'm Detective Gregory. I was called.
Oh yes, no, I called you. I thought it
was time to bring in the authorities.
- Thank you. Thank you for coming.
- Really?
You took it upon yourself to call
the police without even a discussion?
Mr. Hume, you forget, we have a
system in place here. We have Floyd.
Oh Floyd! You mean our
crack security ace who naps
between the hours of 11 and 2?
Floyd, the master sleuth
who can sniff out
a Papa John's ten
miles from here,
and who never misses
a staff birthday cake?
Floyd, the powerless Dumbledore
of our hallowed campus and the--
You are illustrating
my point perfectly.
She was literally
just insulting you
for always eating food, and
then you grabbed a donut?
Shouldn't you be out
patrolling somewhere?
Well, I'm here to--
Look, my laptop was stolen.
Okay, so that's what
we're here about.
And I am writing an
extremely personal
autobiographical novella
that I did not back up.
And I am very foggy about a lot of the
events of my past because of an accident
with a hammer, a can of paint, and a
raccoon so you can imagine my desire.
You know what, okay, thank you, Carol.
I think we should let the detective--
Not all of us remember why we have a
five inch scar on the bottom of our foot,
or why our right thumb
is straight as a board
and the left one
looks like a fishhook.
Okay, I'm gonna talk
to all the victims.
- I just caught a salmon with my thumb.
- I'll get this figured out.
She's just bending her thumbs.
I know, and this--
- Start with me.
- Okay.
You can do me last.
I'll do you next, talk to you.
- You'll do me next?
- Next.
Finally a man in a blazer,
not in a vest.
You know what, that's
a low blow, Carol.
- That is a low blow.
- Hm!
So how come you haven't you
reported these thefts yet?
Well, we handle
internal conflict
with Parent-Teacher Council.
I didn't wanna disrupt
the entire campus
over a few stolen purses.
I mean, seven laptops,
12 phones, jewelry, cash,
four purses, wrestling trophy,
and three desktop
computers from storage.
It's hardly a few purses.
Did you and Mr. Hume
have a weekend getaway
or a phone conversation?
I think he's just concerned
about what's going on here.
Well, Larry is just
full of concern.
I don't understand why
you're not concerned.
In my career as a
moderately successful novelist,
- Excuse me.
- and perennial SAT tutor,
I've learned that
diligence, a word
on today's vocabulary list,
is the key to success.
So, it's important to
be here for every class.
In fact, every minute
- is important.
- Sorry.
- Oh.
- Sorry.
Sorry, my bad.
My bad, sorry.
Pardon me.
Pardon me.
Pardon me, sorry.
This is really more
disruptive than I anticipated.
Okay.
Punctuality.
This is a word you should
know not only for your SATs,
but also for life
in general, yes?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, it worries me that only
three of you are nodding.
Moving on.
Who can tell me the meaning
of the word divisive?
Divisive.
This is the word that
describes the relationships
most of you have
with your parents.
- Yes.
- Uh, annoying?
Tending to cause disagreement
or hostility between people.
That is exactly right. Ha, see?
You can thank Google.
Okay, that would be
described as cheating.
Please define for me importune.
To ask someone pressingly
and persistently for
or to do something.
All right, now I'm
gonna have to ask you
to put your phone on my desk.
I didn't use my phone.
All right. Define equivocate.
To use ambiguous language so as to
conceal the truth or avoid committing--
- Obdurate.
- Stubbornly refusing to change one's opinion
- or course of action.
- Officious.
Assertive of authority in an
annoyingly domineering way--
Did you memorize
all of the SAT words?
No, I don't think so.
These are words that I
just looked up on Google.
So, they're just
Google definitions.
I'm not sure how they relate
to the Merriam-Webster's
- or the Oxford--
- Yo, how many words did you look up?
Like a hundred?
No, 7,346.
What?
You need to be asleep, sir.
I will in a minute.
Is your brother asleep?
Yeah.
Come on.
When you met him, was he happy?
Yes, he was.
Always.
But then he wasn't.
Baby look, it's too late to be
asking me difficult questions.
Now go.
I'll be in in a
minute to tuck you in.
I'm not a baby.
No, but you're my baby.
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
- This has got to stop.
- Everything okay, Mr. Hume?
Emmett, yes.
No, everything's fine.
I just misplaced my wallet.
- Okay.
- Okay.
How could you, Emmet?
Did you finish the homework?
- No can do.
- Come on, dude.
I offered you a
deal and you declined.
It's blackmail.
Look, I can't let you drive the car.
Mom would kill me, man.
Then explain to Manatee over here why
you're not turning in your homework today
- and why you're gonna have to--
- Hey! Did someone here just--
did someone just call me
Manatee again?
Did I hear that again?
It is Mr. Hume.
It's on the chalkboard if you forgot.
Okay? I'm not a manatee, okay?
I don't know if it's 'cause of my big
nose, which is genetic, okay?
Actually turns out I have a small head.
So joke's on you.
There's nothing about
me like a manatee,
except for my weight,
and my whiskers.
So if I hear it again,
we're gonna bring back Friday pop quizzes.
Who wants that? Does anyone want
the Friday pop quizzes? No?
I didn't think so!
Okay, fine.
All right, you
can drive us home.
All right, okay, everyone
open your books please
to page 46.
Here you go.
How'd you know I
was gonna say yes?
You're my brother
therefore an easy mark.
Mr. Emmett Charles is gonna walk us through
a little something called surface tension.
Emmett.
Sorry, sorry, Mr. Hume.
I just had a favorite
French film marathon
this weekend and it's
just so hard to let go.
- Emmett.
- The easiest way to understand surface tension
is with a cork and
a glass of water.
Look, just pay attention
and be careful, all right?
Ooh, this baby purrs like a--
Don't, all right.
Look, you know nothing
about cars, okay?
Just don't.
Look, just focus on the driving.
All right, that's
all I wanna see.
Hey, put two hands on
the wheel, ten and two.
Get your head in the car!
I mean, you can't
even reach the pedals.
Emmett.
Emmett, turn the radio down!
Move, quick!
Over, over, over.
No, ow!
Ow.
Looks like a 453
with a side of doh! Ooh.
- Mm-mm.
- This dog'll hunt. No need for a wrecker.
Got you, Floyd,
notated. Thank you, over.
All right, son?
Well, it looks like
you've got yourself
quite a clunker, here.
Look, I was driving, all right?
Wait, no, wait I was--
Look, there's no upside to it.
There's no upside to
telling the truth.
All right, I'm supposed
to be the responsible one.
You're just a kid.
If anyone's asking,
I was driving.
Why don't you take a cue
from your brother, Luke?
Get some homework done
while you're waiting.
I like to do my
homework at home.
Hey, I'm so sorry.
I had to wait for another
nurse to cover my shift.
Not a problem, Mrs. Charles.
Let's go guys.
Let's not keep Ms.
Ally any longer.
Sorry, Ms. Ally.
You don't worry, Emmett.
Just get some rest for the
state debates and the SATs.
Luke, don't text and drive.
Yep.
Sorry for all the
trouble, Ms. Ally.
No problem.
Yeah, yeah.
I know.
Let's study.
Wow, man.
Hey, not bad, Emmett.
You don't suck nearly as bad
as Luke said you would.
Well, we didn't see a Tonya
Smith or a school bus.
Where are you guys goin'?
We might go see
Craig in the Ward.
Probably not, man.
Luke, I thought I told you--
Look it's, it's fine.
We're fine.
We're not gonna go
there, all right?
Okay. See you here, seven.
- Yeah! Seven.
- Okay? Seven, right. Okay.
You told me
You'll be going away
We'll be seeing each other
Other days
- Sweet spin
- Okay.
My hands have constant
Sorry.
Uh, yeah, he's not usually late.
He's got these friends
that make him late.
Oh. Do they lock him in a
room and tie him up?
No.
Then they don't make him late.
How old are you?
Old enough.
For what?
Okay, yeah, I understand.
I'm 12, and yeah, I'm
immature and weird.
I get it.
If you say so.
What is that?
Oh, this is a new book
that I'm working on.
A mystery.
Oh.
Scooby Doo or Sherlock Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes.
Yeah, I was gonna say.
True crime.
Okay, that's my mom.
- Oh.
- Thank you.
Thanks Mrs. Locke, all right?
- All right, bye.
- Bye.
What's wrong?
Mikey got caught trespassing.
He told the officer he
thought the house was empty.
It wasn't, so he's
being kept overnight.
Hey, what about Luke?
Luke stayed in the car.
Thank God.
They won't press charges.
But, uhm, we have to go
and pick him up.
Okay, well, Mom, it's okay.
If he stayed in the car,
- then it should be fine.
- No, no it's not okay.
What if he had gone
in that house, hm?
What if the homeowner had a gun?
Mikey's been getting in
trouble since the third grade,
but I can't blame Mikey
because Luke chose
to be there with him.
The choices you both
make will affect
the rest of your lives.
The friends you hang out
with, all of that matters.
Okay.
Look over your shoulder!
Look over your shoulder!
Fear, horror, pain, death!
Okay, you got it?
You five try it. More fear.
- Go.
- Ms. Jensen,
how does this relate
to Thanksgiving?
Wow, to be young and
innocent again like you, Joy.
I mean think about it.
It is a turkey holocaust
every November.
You don't think those
birds know it's coming?
Have some empathy, Joy.
Think-- Hi.
Woo, it's hot out here.
- Ew.
- I'm dehydrated.
- Wow, so where were we?
- Ew.
Be afraid, be afraid,
move it, go!
You're so good.
You have such a mastery
of the instrument.
I wish.
My sister, she was first chair
by the time she was in 9th
grade, so I'm way behind.
You're not your sister
and you're exceptional.
Well, I wish I had
your confidence.
I'm totally insecure.
I'm small and I'm young,
and I don't fail, ever.
And what's wrong with that?
It just doesn't seem
like it's a good thing.
How can someone who
never fails be insecure?
I'm really insecure,
but I have confidence
in my insecurity.
It's a healthy insecurity.
I know what I know and
I know what I learn,
and I know what I love.
I know my heart.
Play it again.
- Bye.
- Bye. See you.
We heard you.
- Tonya, did you do the math homework?
- Yeah, yeah, I did.
See, I didn't do it,
so do you mind if I could see yours?
Yeah, I do actually.
- Don't talk to her. Don't look at her, don't touch her.
- What's happening right now?
- I think it's a fight. -Oh my God.
- What are you doing?
Get off me. Get off!
What are you doing?
Dude, come on.
Come on!
I'm gonna bring it home and
I'm gonna put it to bed.
Bring what home?
Emmett, what are you doing?
Come on!
This is just what the doctor ordered.
Today has been so boring.
Are you made out of
paper or what?
- More like papier-mch.
- What?
- Cut it out.
- Don't worry, everyone, I am fine.
Mac is Malfoy to my Potter. He hit me on the
mouth and our vascular systems are such--
He jumped on me, all right? Look,
I didn't mean to hit you. You jumped on me.
Are you kidding me?
Please get off.
I'm not gonna
fight you, you're a child.
- Can somebody please get this kid off of me?
- What is this sadness?
- You're just mad that I won the regionals.
- No, I'm not.
Okay, I still get to go
to State. I'll beat you there.
Ha, in your dreams, sir,
in your dreams.
Leave him alone.
Emmett, this isn't really going
the way you wanted it to, right?
Yeah, why don't you let go
and we can talk about it?
Emmett, he doesn't wanna fight.
Just get off.
- Yeah, come on.
- Seriously.
Yeah.
Have fun.
I was right about him.
Oh!
Oh, Emmett, I'm sorry.
- Here.
- Hey! Hey!
Luke, wait, wait, wait!
Oh!
Ow.
Are you okay, Emmett?
- I was just trying to help him.
- Let me see it, Emmett.
You all right, bro?
Thank you
both for coming in.
All right,
come on, let's go, Mac.
It really isn't up to me now.
It's gotta go to a
parent-teacher council.
Why do you need a
council or a committee
to see that Mac is a bully?
Emmett, it is my understanding
that you started the fight.
Mac will be suspended,
and unfortunately,
the same thing will
be true for Luke.
This is just very poor timing.
We're about to announce an ongoing
investigation at the school,
and it doesn't look good for
anyone when you come in here--
What kind of investigation?
There's been a rash of thefts.
Oh, I get it.
Don't you see?
We're in trouble, now
we're automatically
suspects in another case.
Suspects?
No, nobody is a suspect.
All I'm saying is
it's a bad time
to call attention to yourself
with negative behavior.
Bad for you, bad for Mac.
Bad for everyone.
And this is the second time
you've been in my
office this week.
Would you like to silence
your cell phone, Luke?
Oh, it's not mine.
I found it.
I don't want it anymore.
But Dad wanted you to have it.
We don't know what Dad wanted.
Do you think I'm like him?
What, Dad?
Yeah.
It's like Dad was really
smart, and I'm really smart.
Then couldn't I
have what he had?
Well, you're not
like him like that.
You only got the good stuff,
and I only the good stuff.
You don't know that.
Well, if something
starts to happen
or you feel really sad then...
What if I see things?
Like what?
Like my imagination.
It leaks out of my head.
That's not the same.
Dad was sick.
You're just strange.
Mom wants me to go to a
private school in Maine.
What?
But you didn't do anything.
Between Mikey and
the phone, I mean,
- they think I stole everything.
- But you didn't.
I should have just left
that phone in the hall.
I should have just kept walking.
You can't go.
I won't let you go.
Father, father, father
- Hey, T, we need to talk.
- I'm not your girlfriend.
- Okay, I don't belong to you or to anyone else.
- I know, and I respect--
And if I was your girlfriend, I would so
break up with you for that kind of behavior.
- But Mac is a jerk.
- But he didn't physically attack you for no good reason.
- No, but he just attacks with insults and nuanced slights.
- Emmett. Emmett.
- And passive aggressive behavior.
- You're 12, okay?
You can't control
everything and everyone.
You have so many
expectations for people
because, well, you're perfect.
The rest of us aren't.
You need to act
less like an adult
and more like a kid, Emmett.
Uh, but-- Being a kid means
being powerless and supine.
It means being immature!
Why would I want that?
Why would anybody want that?
So Selma, any chance that
this was an inside job?
You may call me Ms. Ally,
and I don't have time for
ludicrous conspiracies.
Tell me about the old
computers in storage.
They weren't even worth storing.
Whoever stole them
did us a favor.
And besides, Larry said--
- Well I'm sure it's nothing.
- What's nothing?
Well, Larry asked me about those
computers a couple of months ago.
He said they were
worthless and he wanted
to know if he could have them.
- Larry Hume?
- Yes, I just thought of that.
- He's a good man, Hume, even with his colorful past.
- Colorful past?
You know I think you should
really talk to him directly.
So you don't believe
that Luke Charles
found that iPhone
in the hallway, huh?
I don't.
I hate to believe the narrative
society creates for
a kid like Luke,
but all of the
evidence is there.
The narrative that--
for a kid like Luke?
Selma, Selma!
You're never going to believe--
Carol, everything's fine.
The detective was just leaving.
It's him or me.
Okay.
This is the one.
Okay, Eddie, listen.
If you are still not
getting it by Friday,
I can meet you here
at six after football.
Okay.
Me, dumb football player.
No. Do not perpetuate
that stereotype.
It doesn't do anyone any favors.
Okay, just keep working
on that one problem.
Okay, thanks, Mrs. Locke.
Here you go, Ms. Locke.
Laura.
Wow, that's great!
Okay, so see, all
that extra hard work
- that we've been putting in has been paying off, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
So you just keep working
on those daily vocab drills
and have a good night.
Thank you.
Hey Emmett, you need something?
Should you be drinking coffee?
I've been caffeinating
since I was nine.
Caffeinating.
Okay, so, I know that you
think that your brother
didn't steal anything,
but I still don't know
how I can be helpful.
You seem like a kind person.
Mm, thank you.
A forgotten person.
And you have access to a world
I can't even understand.
Okay.
I'm gonna forget the
forgotten person comment,
but I wanna know
what is this world
that you think I have access to?
Okay, well, you write
crime novels for one.
You understand how to
solve complex problems,
and you have access
to the white world.
- Oh!
- I don't have that.
Access
to the white world?
Yes, old white ladies get away
with all kinds of
strange behavior.
- You know it's true.
- Like what?
Well, we're drinking
coffee in the library,
which is not allowed, and
you're not supposed to park
in the librarian's spot
- and you always do. -Yeah.
And then you explain it like
your eyesight is goin' away
or the sign is
too small or some nonsense.
Well first of all, older people,
no matter their race,
have bad eyesight.
You could just start
dealing crystal meth
and you'd get some kind of
humanitarian award for it.
No, I don't think so.
Just started a chain of events.
I drove my brother's car, I
wrecked it, he took the blame.
I just initiated all
this bad luck for him.
No, bad luck is a concept,
not a foregone conclusion.
And your brother makes
his own decisions.
I know, but I'm responsible
for some part of this.
I can't be without him.
We're a good family,
together.
I'm such a sucker.
Okay, okay, I'll help you.
Fine, I'll try.
- I know a little bit about what's going on at that school.
- How?
Eh, I have a friend in
the police department.
Okay, we gotta figure out
who had opportunity.
What about motive?
No, opportunity
is easier to see.
Okay, let's go
over your schedule,
and can you read people?
I read you.
Honey, you have barely
glanced in my direction.
I am an onion wrapped
in a layer cake
wrapped in
a Terrence Malick film.
Which Terry Malick film?
Badlands.
Maybe Tree of Life.
Okay, why do I need to
be able to read people?
Because we need to
weed out as many people
as possible initially.
Otherwise, everyone in
the school is a suspect.
I mean I'm good at
seeing the detail
and beauty in someone
who's usually overlooked.
Okay, did you just make
all that up by yourself?
I'm not bragging.
It's just a fact.
Oh really? Mr. Smarty Smart-Stone,
why don't you tell me about me?
Well, you were
married, you loved him.
That's not so hard
to figure out.
I know you're a hard worker.
And you've carried
something for a long time,
a need to repair things.
It's in your eyes.
It's in-- it's in this room,
in between us now.
You just don't like
to help people,
it's like you have to.
Hm.
Okay, baby genius,
you've convinced me.
Let's get to work.
Like I was saying, opportunity.
It's the first thing
I think about when
I'm writing a novel.
Oh, in here.
I been wrong
A time or two before
But I don't wanna
hurt you anymore
Now I'm a different man
Yeah a different man
Let me help you understand
Now I'm a different man
A different man
I didn't know what it was
- Come on.
- I had to do
- I had to change
- Hi.
Before our love was through
Now I'm a different man
Yeah a different man
Let me help you understand
Now I'm a different man
I don't even know why
she's bringing it up.
I'm not ashamed of
my past, Detective.
It's what makes
me a good teacher.
All right I'm gonna show you
where these computers were kept.
I asked about 'em
'cause I wanted to see
if we could use the drives
for a robotics club
that takes place after school.
I like to connect the
extracurriculars...
Okay.
Sometimes I know
It was hard to be with me
But that was the only way
I had to be
Now I'm a different man
Yeah a different man
Let me help you understand
Now I'm a different man
A different man
A different man
A different man
Yes I am
Holy God and all
the angels in heaven!
- Ms. Jensen?
- I didn't have a class this period
so I decided to
take some me time.
School's over.
Oh?
Oh, it's Spartacus.
The character
development is amazing
and the fight sequences offer
some valuable choreography.
It's not all like.
Sure, sure, I get it.
Would you like me to close this?
Please, yes.
- Okay.
- Goodbye, Emmett.
Okay, we got multiple suspects
but our main contender
is Mac Thompson.
Okay.
No!
High school parties.
A constantly revisited
rite of passage
in literature and film.
But when you look back,
were they even any fun?
I take it you've
never been to one.
Nope, not one.
Okay.
- Oh, wait.
- Hey, y'all.
Who are you?
Oh, they're here to help us.
Weedee, Billy, this is Mary.
Mrs. Locke.
- Mary?
- Mary's fine.
Hi, I'm William or Weedee.
Weedee is better because Billy here
is also William, William Stanks.
He's not insulting me. My name is
a full sentence: William Stanks.
Thanks, Mom and Dad!
It's very nice to
meet you, Mary.
- Stanks.
- Mm-hm.
Are we at a movie theater?
Why are you eating
food in my car?
Movie theater, good one.
Where's the Milk Duds?
My blood sugar's always been an issue
and if I don't have a snack within
- a two hour window then I--
- Okay, forget it. Just don't spill anything.
- Yeah, Billy.
- All right, I'm goin' upstairs to ransack Mac's room.
Weedee and Billy run interference.
Mary, you'll be in the getaway car,
you know, just in case
we need to--
- What if Tonya's there?
- Who's Tonya?
- Emmett's crush.
- No, don't listen to 'em.
- Oh ho, ho, oh.
- She's just my friend.
Obsession.
Lois Lane to his Kal-El.
Jane to his Tarzan.
- Guys, stop.
- Elizabeth Bennett to his Darcy.
- Guys.
- Sloane to his Ferris.
- Scarlet to his Rhett Butler.
- No.
Yes!
- Ah!
- Stop, stop!
Okay, I-I like her.
Ooh!
Don't do
anything I wouldn't do.
Hey look, Mac's leaving.
- All right, this is it. Let's go!
- Okay.
Oh wait, wait. This never works.
- He's coming right back.
- How do you know?
Because I've seen a movie or two
and I've written this
in all of my books.
Someone always forgets something and then they
have to almost immediately come right back.
She's right.
We can't stay, we gotta go.
- Come on.
- Yeah, and somebody always says that, too.
Guys, come on.
- Oy vey.
- Oh.
- Come on!
- I'll go get some paper towels inside. Sorry.
- Come on.
- I said I was sorry, okay?
Hey, is anybody getting
that overwhelmingly
ominous feeling?
If it feels like acid reflux,
then yes, I've got it.
Okay, text us if Mac comes back.
That'll be in
about five minutes.
Sorry, here you go.
I'm out alone at night with
kids who are not my own
sending them into a party
where there's alcohol
and no adult supervision.
Drink that!
I smell food.
Tonight
I just wanna know
Baby can we go
Take me to the late night,
Late night show
Turn off all the lights
And let's dance slow
Hey Tonya.
Hey Joy.
Oh, hey.
Wait, you are the perfect
person to try these.
What?
We're starting our own
line of granola bars.
It's a big secret.
Joy has us hiding them
from everyone.
But we're ready to start
taste testing them now.
Oh!
That was what you were
hiding in your locker.
That was your secret.
That's definitely
what we just said.
Try one.
10 grams of protein.
There's no rest
Maybe I should
Quit romancin'
Maybe it would make me sane
- Is that tarragon?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
- Let me find the cilantro ones.
Those are my favorite.
Tonya, look, I'm really sorry.
Just please forgive me.
I'm still developing and through
puberty my emotional maturity--
Okay, gross. Can you please
tell him it's okay
before he says something
I can't forget?
I just wanna express
my masculinity in it.
Okay, I get it, I get it.
Thank you for apologizing.
You're welcome.
Okay, new beginnings, phew!
You guys have any idea where
the host of this party is?
Mac went to go get weed
from some Robbie guy.
Robbie from the Ward?
That's about a four to six
minute drive from here.
Whoa oh oh oh oh
Don't smoke it.
Don't worry, we weren't.
Good, 'cause you don't know
what you're getting
from the Ward.
It's usually laced.
Sometimes he laces it
with embalming fluid so--
The stuff they put
in dead people?
- How do you know that?
- I know Robbie.
He's not a bad guy, he just
makes a ton of bad decisions.
These are something else.
Feel good
Bright eyes
Oh, nobody saw that coming.
To the late night,
Late night show
Turn off all the lights
And let's dance slow
Mac's back, oh no.
Crap and kittens,
Emmett, Emmett.
Hmm.
I want it
Who's ready for some downtime?
Okay.
I want it
You guys want a little?
You guys down for this?
- Really?
- Cool.
Ladies.
We're gonna go, Mac.
What, no, no, no.
Come on, stay a little
longer, hang out.
What are you doing here?
Yeah.
Research.
Emmett says that there's
embalming fluid in that.
Oh Emmett?
How the hell would he know?
He's 12.
Emmett says he knows
the guy, Robbie.
And anyways, we don't do drugs.
We don't do drugs. Lame!
Somehow I'm totally
fine with being lame. Are you?
Yeah, actually lame's
my middle name.
Well the door's
right over there, so.
No I wasn't ready
Cool.
Too young to decide
I only feel love
I want it
You don't look at me
Like you used to
- What's up?
- Hey.
I want it
Oh no, no,
don't go there, no.
Hey, Eddie.
Mrs. Locke?
Yeah.
Can you do me a favor
and play that?
Weedee, why are you
still in my house?
- Who are you?
- Seriously, man?
We've been in school
together since kindergarten.
- Great choice by the way.
- Oh.
What are you doing here?
I'm the entertainment.
Oh hell yeah.
This next song goes out
to our party's host, Mac
What's goin' on?
Thompson!
Where's the music?
Woo, woo, woo!
Hi, sorry, sorry.
- Just two seconds.
- Give it up
- for Naughty By Nature.
- Nature!
Let's go, let's go!
Hip hop hooray
All right come on,
you guys know this.
Hey, ho You drew a picture
Of my morning
You couldn't make my day
I'm rockin' and you're yawnin
If you're here
When I get back...
Your funny flow is foreign
And a green card's on the way
Just, you better not be.
The Grilltown, Illtown
How can he expect to
be debate champ if he
can't even make an empty threat?
Such a lack of creativity.
I live and die for hip hop
This is hip hop for today
I give props to
Hip hop so hip hop
Hooray, ho, hey, ho
Hey, ho, hey, ho
Hip hop hooray, ho, hey, ho
You heard a lot about
A brother gaining' mo' ground
Bein' low down
I do the showdown
I wanna know who You're
believin' Hear your funny reasons
Even when I'm sleeping'
You think I'm cheatin'
You said I know you
Mr. O.P.P. man
Yo PP man,
Won't only see me man
You shoulda known when I
What is this?
Isn't that your grandmother?
My grandmother lives in Arizona.
'Cause I'm Naughty by Nature,
Not 'cause I hate you
You put your heart in a part
Of a part that spreads apart
And forgot that I forgave
When you had a spark
You try to act like something
Really big is missin'
Even though my name's
Graffiti written on you kitten
I love black women always
And disrespect ain't the way
Nice of her to
come to the party.
Hip hop hooray
No, that's not my nana.
Well, who is it then?
Hip hop hooray, ho,
Hip hip hop, hooray
There's many hungry
hip hoppers
Swerve what you heard 'cause
I ain't bailing no hay
Ain't choppin' no crops,
But still growin' every day
Here's a thunder sound
From the wonders found
From the underground town
Down the hill
Feel how Illtown
Drown smiles to frowns
Snatch crowns from clowns
Beat downs are found
Don't know me
Don't come around
Tippy tippy pause
Sometimes creepin' up
I eat em up
Your styles are older
Than Lou Rawls
I shout out and I didn't
Miss one friend
Fools get foolish, neither
Them or Parker Lewis knew us
You could have crews with
Shoes and can't step to us
I live and die for hip hop,
This is hip hop of today
I give props to hip hop
So hip hop hooray,
Ho, hey, ho, hey, ho
Smooth it out now
Oh God help me.
- Naughty by Nature!
- Hey!
Ho, hey, ho, hey!
Oh my God.
That was so awesome.
You killed it, M.
Well, hip hop is poetry.
I mean Kendrick Lamar
won the Pulitzer.
Hey, did you find anything?
There were two hard drives
hooked up to two monitors
and they were both running.
He's encrypted the main drive,
but they're online so
he's working on something.
I just didn't have
time to figure it out.
Billy checked the drive
that he dumped
in the trash, but
there's nothing on it.
It was completely scrubbed.
I didn't see any jewelry
or phones or anything.
Yeah, but that doesn't
mean it wasn't him.
No, this is good.
Oh boy, it means we have
solved a part of this.
Yeah, but that doesn't
change anything for Luke.
They still think that he stole
those purses and laptops.
Well, don't you worry about it.
We are gonna figure
this one out.
What?
- That wasn't open?
- Oh!
Luke, Luke.
God!
Yo man, did you just float
in here or something?
Make some noise, Twilight!
Sorry, sorry.
Man, it's really late, man.
Go to sleep.
You can solve cold fusion
tomorrow or something.
Luke, Luke, I know how
to take responsibility
for my actions, and I'm
going to tell Mom so we can--
A, No.
We can't talk
about this tonight.
Two, I'm already asleep.
And in conclusion please
wear a bell around your neck
- so I can hear you come in next time.
- Sorry, sorry.
Years, you just shaved
years off my life just now.
I wanted you to know
what was about to happen
before we made the announcement.
Luke will be charged with theft.
Why are the rules -different for me?
- What do you mean?
Why didn't I get suspended
after I went after Mac?
Why don't I ever get detention? I mean
I wanna grow up, but nobody will ever
treat me like a grown up.
I get all this special treatment.
You are an exceptional student and you've
never done anything to warrant suspension,
- much less--
- No, I'm a meal ticket.
- A meal ticket?
- I'm the golden goose at this school.
How much do you think
fundraising will increase
if the minority 12
year-old gets accepted
to Harvard or Cornell next year?
Dot told me you get
calls every week
from colleges about
where I plan to apply.
Dot, that woman is worth
her weight in garbage.
Even if I do something wrong,
it doesn't even matter because
I'm the big story here.
What about the kids who
actually need a break?
Everyone should be treated fairly and
I shouldn't be getting the special--
Oh, shut up you whiny
little know it all!
What do you wanna
be when you grow up?
You're a good little debater.
A lawyer, perhaps?
You might find out that the
law is fluid, malleable.
Different states mete out
justice differently.
In this state, if a child
commits a serious offense
they can be charged as an adult.
Did you know that?
So, if a deeper investigation
were to be undertaken,
one a person in my
position could green light,
Luke could be looking at some
pretty serious consequences
for that little stunt he
pulled in the parking lot.
Reckless endangerment,
felony property damage.
We got the estimate
back from the mechanic
for the school bus, and
that bill is teetering
ever so close to the
felony threshold.
A finger to the scales and Luke
wouldn't just be suspended.
He'd be staring down jail time,
adult jail time.
But you have no proof!
Oh my God, wow.
You really are naive.
But I forget,
you're just a child.
It would be a terrible
shame if Luke really did
get in serious trouble
for an incident
that seemed so out
of character for him.
One that seemed more
like the actions
of a very childish individual.
Wouldn't you agree?
Your brother is a loser.
Your father was a loser.
You're the only
winner in what's left
of your pathetic little family,
but you know that already,
don't you, Mr. Know-It-All?
Run along now, Emmett.
She's evil. She's like a combination
of Voldemort and General Zod
if Voldemort didn't
need to kill Harry
and was just running rampant
from the very beginning!
And she dragged my father's
name through the mud.
Well, that is awful.
And how does she even know
anything about him anyway?
I don't -wanna talk about it.
- Okay.
She knows what happened to him.
It's in my file.
What happened to him?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Okay.
I talked with a
therapist after he died.
That's good.
I guess.
He didn't just die,
he killed himself.
He had depression,
probably more.
He was only 30.
I was two and Luke was seven.
I don't understand why
you'd wanna leave your kids.
I don't think that's
what he wanted.
It's usually more
complicated than that.
Well, that's what it feels like.
He was brilliant.
People say I'm just like him.
That's heavy.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
How am I supposed
to deal with that?
I'm already facing the
clich of growing up black
without a father figure.
Now I have to factor mental
illness into the whole thing.
You know, we're not
like our parents.
Well what about hereditary DNA?
Okay, you got me there,
but we don't inherit
everything from them.
Let's hope.
It seems my dad was also
an awful ping pong player.
Well that's a little less
worrisome than bipolar disorder.
I guess.
Hey, let's go.
We got a mystery to solve.
Yeah, okay.
Uh, do you have any
laptops or computers
or anything like that
coming in lately?
- No.
- No?
Okay, onward.
I'm looking for a laptop.
- No.
- Computer?
No.
I don't know, watches?
No, no.
- Cell phone?
- Nah.
All right, thank you.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
I kinda want that
little fat guy statue.
I'm hungry and tired.
Okay.
And I wanna go.
I wanna find this thing.
I'm trying to catch a
case here, you're hungry.
And I call bull because in space
there's no oxygen so
you can't have flames
trailing behind a spaceship.
Fire in space.
It's like getting the
egg before the chicken.
Huh? Well, yeah I know but where
did the first chicken
come from, man?
Dude, I gotta go.
See you at water aerobics.
Hey, have any phones,
watches or laptops come in here recently?
Yep, all of that, every week.
It's right over here
Okay.
What's that?
When did that trophy
from Hart High come in?
Oh, a few weeks ago.
- You remember who brought it in?
- No.
- Any cell phones?
- Yeah, we have cell phones.
You got cameras here,
running in the store for security?
Yeah, pawn shop
equals high crime.
We gotta have
constant surveillance.
It's a standard little
thing we call technology.
Can I take a look at that
surveillance footage?
Who are you?
I'm Detective Crockett
from the police department.
And this is my intern
from the criminal
system program justice.
I'm Tubbs.
That's the best you can do?
I'm 12.
The fact that I even know what
Miami Vice was is remarkable.
It was the best work
Don Johnson ever did.
Oh, okay.
Follow me.
Can't trust people
in a pawn shop.
But this is exactly what I mean.
Access because of who you are.
Oh, come on. Miss Manners
over there would give anybody
access to the
surveillance footage.
Seriously.
Okay.
- I'll need the last six weeks.
- Okay.
It's that easy?
Again, technology.
The trophy, I can see you.
Oh.
All right.
The trophy came in
the week of the 14th.
I remember because I
had a lotta weird stuff
come in that week.
Here's the lady.
Yep, she's holding it, you see?
That's Miss Jensen,
the dance teacher at my school.
Yep, I remember her.
She had this weird outfit on.
It was like a fabric wet suit.
Did she bring anything else in?
Earlier that month,
not that day.
And then she came
back a few days ago
and bought some
of the stuff back.
- She bought it back?
- Yeah.
Huh, why would
she buy it back?
So, how does
Mac fit into all of this?
See that's the thing
I can't figure out.
Mac has all the
computers and Jensen
has all the personal items.
- Oh, thank you.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Could they both be thieves
and not know it?
Is stealing like that
trendy right now?
- Crime never goes out of style.
- Oh.
Oh. I'm gonna use that as the
tagline for my next book.
Oh wait, before I forget.
I read these and I'd
like you to sign them.
Okay.
Race to Beacon Hill
is your best work.
I can't believe the nun
was such a sociopath.
It's so dark.
Where does that come from?
I don't know, where does any
good story really come from?
The imagination peppered
with a little real life.
But that nun exists.
Do you know her?
Every former Catholic school
girl knows an evil nun.
So, what do all
your friends think
about you hanging out with--
An old white lady?
Well I
wasn't gonna say that.
You think I'd get as far with
all this if you were black?
When people meet you,
you're not being judged.
Except by you.
Don't pretend like you
don't know what I mean.
No, I know exactly
what you mean.
And I also know that
someone who says
that race doesn't matter
isn't being honest.
But you're painting with a
really big brush here, Emmett.
Do I meet your expectations
for an old white woman?
Do I meet yours?
For an old white woman? No.
I'm just saying,
people are disappointing,
and they say stupid things
and they do stupid things.
We just need more discussion
and more transparency,
less fear.
And we shouldn't assume
so much about each other.
Everyone's saying it, but how
do we actually do something
that's going to
change the way that--
Two.
- Right this way.
- Thank you.
What?
Hey, Emmett, where are you--
- So this is the road you started--
- Emmett!
- What are you doing here?
- Mm-hmm.
I thought you were
at Weedee's house.
Sam, this is my son Emmett.
- Sam is--
- A man with whom
you are engaging
in elbow politics
and laughing with your mouths!
Emmett, it's very
nice to meet you.
How dare you say my name, sir.
Shame on you
- for thinking you can--
- Mrs. Charles, I'm Mary, Emmett's--
Lover. This woman is a girlfriend
with whom I am passionate.
I have been writing Notes On A
Scandal with this woman for months.
- What's good for the goose, huh, Mom?
- I am not a girlfriend.
Emmett, if you would let anyone
explain, Sam is my boss.
Oh my God, Emmett, what are you doing?
You scoundrel. You huge jerk!
- Emmett!
- Come on, lover, we're leaving!
I'm so, so sorry about all this.
He's been upset with school
and his brother lately.
- Mary?
- Yes.
- This is Sam Evers, my boss.
- Hello.
We work at the hospital.
I'm starting medical
school in the fall,
so we were discussing that.
Medical school? Congratulations.
Thank you.
I'm gonna go, I am so sorry.
Sam, I will pay for
your dry cleaning.
- Oh no--
- It's okay, I'm good.
- Nice meeting you.
- It's no big deal.
Sorry.
Who doesn't love chocolate cake?
Communists.
You know, I was a
communist in college
and I ate lots of cake.
Hm?
In college, I burned my bra.
Would you consider
joining me for coffee?
- Hm.
- Hm.
I'm sorry.
I didn't hear you say
he was your boss.
Well, lucky for us he's nice.
He'll forgive you,
and I forgive you.
So, you'll be a doctor?
One day, yes.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, I had to work it out
with the hospital first
to see if I could keep my job
and go to school
at the same time.
If I can't, I won't be a doctor.
I have to pay the bills
and take care of you two.
That's my number one job.
That's what the
meeting was about.
And I ruined it.
Well,
it was definitely
more colorful than I expected,
but you didn't ruin it.
Mom, I'm afraid.
Afraid of what?
If Luke leaves, I'll change.
My brain will change.
Oh.
Are you afraid of shark attacks?
In the abstract, yes.
Well, it's the same thing.
You're afraid of something
that may never happen.
But you're aware of your fear.
So, if you start to feel
something changing inside of you,
you can do something about it.
We can get you the help that
your dad never received.
I wish I could go back
and realize what was
happening to him,
but I didn't understand it then.
I do now.
Whatever happens,
I'm gonna take care of you.
Okay?
And Luke needs to be
somewhere where he can develop
into who he's supposed to be.
Hey.
What did that cop want?
Oh, he wanted to know if I would
have breakfast with
him on Saturday.
That's your friend in
the police department.
Yes, he helps me with my novels.
And he's telling
you what's happening
on the other side of this.
What is this?
Your principal is going to try
to press charges against Luke.
What do we do?
Well, we figure it out.
That's her, that's Selma Ally.
I never thought
I'd see her again.
Wait, wait, who? Ms. Ally?
Let's see where old Selma goes.
What? Okay, is there anybody in
this town that you don't know?
It's unlikely.
Put on your seat belt,
Evil Knievel.
When I knew her,
her name was Selma Murphy.
I guess Ally is her maiden name?
Look at her.
I don't think
she's gonna see us.
Her house is cute.
Yeah, her old house
had blue shutters.
Periwinkle, that was
her favorite color.
I know this movie.
t's called Single White Female.
Listen.
Selma Ally and I were
best friends.
Yep, we were young mothers,
we lived next door to each other,
my son played with her
son, Paul, all the time.
We just did everything together.
And I didn't know it,
but her husband, Ash--
His name was Ash?
Yes.
Such a cool name.
I can already tell this
is gonna be a good story.
Sorry, go ahead.
You're probably too young
to hear this.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Well Ash, he was in
trouble with everyone.
He gambled, he owed
people money, he drank,
and he had a serious
thing for me.
But you were married.
Happily, yes.
But it didn't stop
what happened.
Oh, he was just one of
those kinds of men--
The rogue, the hunk, the
cowboy, the swashbuckler,
- the--
- Yes,
some of those, but not all.
I was a child.
I didn't understand
the amount of work
you had to put into a marriage.
I needed to be filled up
all the time.
I needed to look
forward to something.
My husband couldn't give
me that, nobody could.
Selma was my best friend.
We spent days and
nights together.
It's hard when you
have small children
and what you thought
was the start
of your life is actually an end.
We could talk about that,
be a support for each other.
We were at the beach,
all together.
Ash was great fun.
He loved to make a mess
and enjoy himself,
and Selma was like that, too.
We were drawn to them.
It was always summer
and there was always
something interesting going on.
And that fills you
up for a while.
We spent the night in
a wood framed cabin.
I went downstairs to
get a glass of water--
And had an affair with
Selma Ally's husband.
Mm-hm.
That's some low-down dirty--
Yeah.
It is.
And it gets worse.
How is that possible?
Someone contract leprosy?
After I finally got the courage
to tell Cal what happened
we got in a fight,
a really bad one,
and he walked out of the house,
got in the car and drove off.
He got hit by a drunk driver.
He survived but he was
never the same again.
We never spoke of it, and
about a year ago he died.
I know that we had some
happy years together.
You know, if this is
the type of stuff
grown-ups do to each other,
I wanna be a kid forever.
You're cruel.
I don't wanna be cruel.
I can't believe
you're a homewrecker.
A 70 year-old home wrecker.
I've made mistakes, one of which
was telling you this story.
Emmett?
You know I'm 61, right?
Emmett?
- Mary?
- Emmett.
Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me,
Mr. Hume is an old friend
from your roller derby days.
No, he's in my book club.
- Book club.
- Of course he is.
We have to talk.
Okay.
My Nicey Icee customer
loyalty card is missing.
- Okay.
- I was one icee away. I was one icee--
- Larry, Larry. Take a breath.
- You've got to be kidding.
- Where did you find the wallet?
- Jensen put it under a desk.
That's when it hit me. We've lost
sight of what's right in front of us.
- What?
- It's all the stuff that she bought back
from the pawn shop.
She's returning it all.
For some reason she's
trying to undo what she did.
I think the thefts are a
distraction from something bigger.
What could be bigger?
I mean, what else could it be?
- Something we can't see.
- It's gotta be money.
- What money?
- Parent-teacher fund?
No, you know, we gotta
get into Ally's office.
We gotta get into her computer.
Oh, that sounds easy.
I've got keys.
Then it actually
does sound easy.
Let's go.
Okay, what are we looking for?
Something that isn't right.
Let's start with
these pillows, wow.
Yes, thank you.
The palette in here is totally wrong.
Oh please it's
like Santa Fe in the '80s.
Okay, can we just stay focused?
Okay, here we go.
Hey look, take a look at this.
This is the parents'
fund accounts.
We had a fundraiser at
the end of last year.
Everything
here looks fine.
Have there been any withdrawals?
Looks like
there were 22 payments
over the last several months
to Paradise Construction?
- Have there been repairs?
- No.
You know what? This fund was
raised to fix gutters,
roof, theater lighting,
all the big stuff.
But the pipe in the hallway
closet is still leaking.
And the roof is still a mess.
I know! Oh, this is weird.
I can't click through to get
information on the payments.
What about the ledger?
Here it is.
Uh, uh-huh, I don't know what
I'm lookin' at.
- Oh.
- Wait!
I've seen this signature before.
Wait, wait.
- Selma Ally.
- Hi.
Jensen and Mac.
Mac's computer.
- It's a mirror.
- What?
- It's a mirror.
- What's a mirror?
Okay, so this page is locked,
the page is locked.
This is not a real website.
- Oh man.
- We're pulling up
a link to a different server.
We're pulling this up from
the computers at Mac's house.
Are you seeing what I'm saying?
- Yes, I am.
- What?
Yeah, if you try to
exit out, it won't work.
- Press the red button right there.
- This is the mirror.
- Right, right.
- Wait, wait.
Selma Ally is an
evil mastermind.
Mac definitely helped her
set all of this up.
And the dance teacher
was the distraction.
Miss Carol Jensen in
the role of a lifetime.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Uh, can I get a cheeseburger,
coffee to go.
Sure.
Order in.
Yup, got it.
What do you want, Mary?
I don't know where to begin.
I just, I--
I just wanted to apologize.
You're mistaking me for
someone who wants an apology.
Okay, well then if you
won't take an apology,
I'd like to at least
explain what happened.
No, you don't get to do that.
I was angry for a long time,
but it was never
about the cheating.
Long before you happened,
Ash and I were done.
He had already accepted
the worst husband
of the year award.
I ought to be thanking you
for being the last straw.
You weren't special, you know.
There were ten other
women before you.
Well, I've had a lot
of regret over this
over the years and
I have to be done.
I have to leave it in the
past, I have to move on.
I wish you could understand...
What, you're sorry?
I don't care.
I don't give a crap
if you're sorry,
and I'm not here to
make you feel better
about what you did and make
it easier for you to move on.
You ruined us.
You don't even know.
I never had a friend like you.
You were my sister.
Do you remember what it was
like when we were together?
Well, those were the happiest times of
my life. You were the best part of me.
And then you broke my heart by
never wanting to see me again.
- I did wanna see you again.
- That's a lie.
You never called me.
Your shame wouldn't let you.
You felt guilty.
And then you came
to Ash's funeral
with your crippled husband.
I bet you felt really
proud of yourself that day,
showing your face, owning the
misery you caused in so many lives.
But my heart sank the moment I knew that
you weren't there for me, to win me back.
You're here to make yourself
feel better about what you did.
Selma.
Blah, blah, blah.
Women ruin themselves
over a man or a job
or their pathetic vanity.
It's the same old boring
story, but we women,
we keep telling it
over again every day,
hurting each other.
What are we doing here, Mary?
Well, uhm...
Yeah.
You just remember
something, Mary Locke.
You're no better than me.
We're both cheaters.
Where is she?
Where's Selma?
I'm so sick of you and
your smug admin attitude.
Who do you think you are?
And what kind of a name is Dot?
Your name is Dorothy, not Dot.
You got that down?
Pretty crazy, right?
- This could be your next novel.
- Any idea where she is?
No, she never came back after you
made that call from the diner.
But listen to this, her
internet search history
is for countries
with no extradition,
and her password is
$tropical escape$.
All lower case.
And turns out she's
done this before.
She used a different name,
obviously,
but she used a dopey
teacher and a smart kid
to help her get away with it.
It's the exact same scheme.
In 2003, she cleaned out a
teachers' retirement fund
at a school in Northern Oregon
where she was the
assistant principal.
2008 in Rhode Island, 2010
in Jackson, Mississippi.
All aliases, all dumb
accomplices who took the fall.
There she is, there she is!
That's her, that's her.
- Carol!
- Danger!
Danger!
Danger, no.
- Danger.
- Please do not run or do whatever that is!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Okay.
- No, Carol.
You all stick with them.
Carol, Ms. Jensen.
I'm gonna go get that kid
who doesn't like you.
I'm gonna go stop that
crazy dancing lady.
Careful, careful, careful.
Careful, Jensen, careful.
- Careful Carol, go!
- I am definitely getting my steps in today.
Quit running, Carol!
So fast.
Thanks, Dot.
Oh yeah? No, no, no!
Selma was the brains!
I was just a pawn
in the brain's game.
Here.
- Attention teachers and students.
- Wait.
Today is Ms. Carol
Jensen's birthday,
and we thought the whole school
should give her
one collective hug.
And not in the abstract,
people, a real hug.
So if you see Ms. Jensen
in the halls,
please reach out and put
your arms around her.
Just stop her and
hug her until you see
Mr. Hume and two
police officers,
and the wonderful
novelist Mary Locke.
- Oh, hey, Floyd!
- Oh hey, hey.
Oh no, get away from me, Floyd.
Get away from me!
Oh, you're getting
a big hug from Floyd.
No, no, no, no, he's wrong.
My birthday's in June.
- I mean, I'm clearly a Gemini.
- Excuse me, excuse me.
- That's the two-headed thing.
- Wow.
I was putting it all back.
Selma told me to take
the laptops and the wallets.
Larry, I was
returning everything.
Carol, why?
Why would you do this?
Because I'm moving
to New York, Larry.
- What?
- Finally.
I'm gonna be a dancer
and an actress.
I mean actor, damn it!
- No, please, Floyd get off me.
- Oh, it's okay.
No, no!
No, it's Broadway, Larry.
If silver linings
are tinged with gold
and gold linings are
tinged with stardust,
you're very handsome
and powerful.
- It's just a few questions.
- Yeah.
- C.J. made me do this.
- All right.
- C.J.!
- Hey, hey, hey.
- No, he didn't.
- Yes he did.
He just called Carol Jensen C.J.
- I'm in love with her.
- Huh?
I love that woman.
Right, right, right.
She smells like maple
syrup when she sweats.
I know, they all do.
Woo!
Luke, Luke, it's all over!
I know, Mom just told me.
Dot called her from school.
It's awesome, you get to stay!
I wanna go.
What, why?
I want you to stay.
- I worked so hard for this.
- Look, I know you did.
We succeeded, we won.
I fixed everything.
Emmett, Emmett, Emmett
look, listen to me.
All right look, your
ability makes me
wanna know what I'm
good at, and I've gotta
be good at something
with a brother like you.
Look man, let me show you
what I did, all right?
You know, after I got
suspended from school,
I started to think
about something bigger
than just my sketches and
this is what I came up with.
Emmett, the private school
in Maine, it's an art school.
And it's the best art school
in the country.
So, I'll get to do
this all the time.
You're good at everything, but
I'm good at this one thing.
I need to go and get better.
Emmett, Emmett, come back!
I don't get it.
We figured out the truth so
everything should work out
the way it's supposed to,
you know?
So, why didn't it work out?
Listen, you could do everything
right and still fail.
Luke isn't going
to stay even though
I did everything I
could to keep him here.
Right.
I failed.
Is this what failure feels like?
Sort of, but it can
be a lot worse.
Uh-hu, we failed,
we failed miserably.
I wouldn't
characterize it quite that way.
Whoa!
So, didn't your mom get
- into medical school? -Yeah.
- Pretty brilliant.
- More than brilliant, she got a perfect score on the MCAT.
- What?
- For a smart cookie, you're taking a really long time
to figure this one out.
Oh.
It's my mom.
I take after my mom.
Everyone said
my dad was so smart,
but my mom is total
genius material.
She speaks six languages
and can solve
a Rubik's Cube behind her back.
Whoa.
Oh boy, lot of
revelations today.
It's a real biblical
sort of day, yeah.
Oh man.
So, you talk to Cal every day?
I do, I ask him his advice.
Tell him that I miss him.
But I do feel that he's
here with me always.
Could I be sitting
on Cal right now?
Oh!
Nah, he's over there.
- High Five.
- Yeah.
Yeah, guys.
Look at this picture, though.
Start her up, Mrs. Locke!
Wait, it's the 15th.
Hey Emmett, aren't the state
championships tomorrow?
Yes, I'm not going to attend.
I'm gonna let someone else win.
I can just win it next year.
I'm gonna fail tomorrow.
Well, it's not really
failing if you forfeit.
It is for me.
Well look, don't get used
to failing or
you'll turn into me.
Ah, I should be so lucky.
So connected to his emotions.
Ah, stop.
Emmett, what is this again?
Oh, it's a double feature.
It's The Piano followed
by The Godfather.
What? That's gonna take
us like six hours.
- Yeah, we have to be outta here by 10 p.m.
- I have to be home by 9.30.
Come on, people.
I mean it's our first meeting.
- Can't we just stay late one night?
- I'm staying for the double.
All right, what do you say
that we just start here
and see where we end up.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
All right.
Let's get
Weedee to taste test.
Oh.
Okay.
Hi.
Wow!
Just wait for me.
You gotta keep the staring to a minimum.
It's just getting super creepy.
Yeah.
Sometimes love
Is like a tornado
Can't stop where
The wind blows
So we wait for the calm
Sometimes love
Makes everything blurry
Can't see past the hurting
To who we really are
But sometimes love
Is making new colors
Even when the dark
Is taking over
And if you find
Your hope is gone
Love's all you need
'Cause it's all we got
Sometimes love
Can tear you to pieces
Bring you to your knees if
You keep holdin' on, mm
But a blank page
Is starin' at you
Waiting for a chance to
Make something beautiful
Original, wonderful
And brand new
'Cause we were never
Made to give up
As long as you
And me we got us
We can paint the world
That we want
But sometimes love
Is making new colors
Even when the dark
Is taking over
And if you find
Your hope is gone
Love's all you need
'Cause it's all we got
Sometimes it can feel
Like you're dreaming
Better than you ever thought
Or wished it could be
And if you get lost
Love's all you need
'Cause it's all we got
Sometimes love
Sometimes love
Sometimes love, mm
Sometimes love is
Making new colors
Even when the dark
Is taking over
And if you find
Your hope is gone
Love's all you need
'Cause it's all we got
Sometimes it can feel
Like you're dreaming
Better than you ever thought
Or wished it could be
And if you get lost
Love's all you need
'Cause it's all we got