Breaking Wind (2011) Movie Script

Who's there?
My tooth.
What the fuck?
Oh .. What the fuck?
Oh, heavens.
How disgusting.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
the Primera
by saying that the Earth will end consumed by fire.
Others, on the ice.
From what I witnessed
I'm on the side of those who propose
Some women prefer white men, other Asian ..
I, however, prefer dark-skinned youngsters
who play basketball and listen to Chris Brown.
I said nothing.
Marry me.
Me changes.
Marry me.
No, seriously, I
I think I pooped my pants.
Whether the bears or bunnies?
Oh, the bunnies
this well.
- Ahem.
- Grandma?
Wow, are you doing here?
Grandma, I want to presentar
my boyfriend Edward.
- Oh, hello.
- Ola
Hello Yes, Grandma.
No teeth.
- Ahh, God.
- Ahh, yes.
- Ahm, yes.
- No.
Hello, darling.
Looks like someone
came home a little late.
Actually, I just
Uh, the what? Edward is
pulling my bag now?
- What?
- I have a surprise for you dear.
Look Who
who came to spend a few weeks with us.
Her grandmother came to see their graduation.
Oh, no.
Hey, Bell.
Who is your vampire, huh?
Hey good morning dear.
Looks like someone
came home a little late.
Actually, I just
Uh, the what? Edward is
pulling my bag now?
Know father?
Let's change the conversation.
Do you know why you
punished, right?
As suggested changes that are
Facebook like MySpace?
Because slept in three movies?
Or because accidentally arrested
Chileans in a mine for over a month?
No, no. It was because I wanted a
separarao between you and Edward.
is not anything you can say.
Edward is part of my life. Hi
Yes, I realized.
Okay, listen.
Let's make a deal.
You are no longer grounded
Use this new freedom
to spend time with your other friends too.
How Jacob.
Honey, he's going through a really difficult time
Her father is concerned.
I remember when you were well.
a friend... Jake was here.
Without telling
that are converting
a reservation at a casino.
Honey, could marry
with a face full of money.
It could buy for his father finally
three Taiwanese prostitutes.
Two Taiwanese prostitutes?
Conform with Me. No selfishness.
Welcome to the official line
Club Jacob.
due to the large volume of calls,
the waiting time is too large.
But if
leave your name after the beep
we will make sure to return the call.
has spoken to me for weeks.
I wanted to fix this...
But he just will not give me a chance.
For our times together
where I can hold you again.
Vai book?
No, I'm going to...
cheese shop.
They... they have this new Camembert
which is supposedly...
Cheese is very sexy.
Edward would have a tough job that was last
trust me,
he showed exactly why.
Maybe it was poque
he saw me take a note of 20 from your wallet.
Or maybe it was because I took
paying a blowjob at the party's 'Dancing Bear'.
I do not know.
Only I do not understand.
Do you mind?
Once we discover what Bella and Edward are together again.
And according to them,
swear that there are a couple.
What is
but he puts the eggs in her mouth.
puts them on their chests.
Well, these are not considered
fried eggs?
Sorry, Harry, the joke
egg was the blonde better.
Hey, come on, fellas?
They go together or what?
Come on, you have fanatical admirers.
Want to know what is happening.
Bella, Edward
is gifted or has a tiny penis?
This is totally inappropriate.
Well, what about Bella, Edward?
Has a big vagina?
This is also incredibly inappropriate.
It's huge.
Buy your shirts here.
Join the team of Edward today.
25% discount for new members.
Here, honey.
We have buttons, fasteners have
we have books, we
We have socks, shirts, tennis shoes
. What they want.
Okay, here we go.
I decided to organize a party.
After all, how many times can we
graduating from high school?
Mm, another party, Alice?
It'll be fun. We will have a truck
of sloops, a zoo...
And drink a little blood.
- The Qu?
- Huh?
Oh, look who's here!
There's nothing there.
Look again.
Ah, who are they?
Small Cullen.
Small versions are ours.
They sweep the cities that we leave behind
and pick up the leftovers.
Do not look, Bell, but the small
Edward is watching you.
Edward Small.
We have a pact, little rascal.
You know you should turn allegedly
100 miles from me.
I'm aware of it,
but I do not give a damn.
I have the hots for Bella.
She has a sexy butt.
You're just jealous
Bella wants me.
Small Jasper.
Never answered my calls.
I missed you.
You were chasing me.
I missed your smell.
Sinti miss your face.
Sinti miss you all.
seemed a little uneasy because of the arrival of the little Cullen.
Second said, they always leave
not behaved as it always was.
It was making me nervous.
But nothing surpassed
the contempt he felt for Jacob.
Do not let him touch you.
The measure
this morning and was 40cm.
Where have you been?
I stayed home.
While you were at home,
This guy spied his red hair.
Alice's vision.
I was trying to protect you.
Lying to me?
See, this is what you get with these
Me, I would have much more.
Honesty and 52cm.
I thought you said
measuring 40cm.
I lied.
Need to talk to him.
Do not trust him.
Do not worry.
He is a good driver.
Stop smile, Jake.
We'll just take a walk.
Watch your leg.
Oh Wait.
Esroscou in his pants.
Ah, here we go.
This ready?
Okay, here we go.
- Okay?
- Go down.
- HEY, can you help?
- Sorry.
Oh, hell.
I'm holding the sausage.
And you can with it, no?
I knew. How was school today
Not yet started.
Oh, Our Lady, as it weighs
It is made of bricks
this bike?
Move your ass. Let
During the first mile,
was full of snakes.
I say, an amount
infernal serpents.
Do not believe it.
Leave it here if you want.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
She did not want.
Back to pick you up later.
sure this is not a problem here that I am?
I mean,
I'm not a werewolf.
You worry too much.
Ah, look who's back.
What ta catching Bell?
Do you?
Yes, I finally unite the pack.
No Thanks.
I am as well.
I'm glad you're here, Bella.
Now we have a break from Jacob
encoxando constantly
the pool heater.
Not to mention the mattress.
Do not forget the fresh melon.
Ah, yes.
It's the way he left his mark.
What? He feels
well, yes?
Yes, this is true?
So? What is this whole thing of "brand"?
The brand is when you see
E. ..
Just changes everything.
And there is gravity
that binds you to the planet.
It is simply her.
And nothing else matters.
Seems you know this feeling.
Have you ever...
Left his mark on someone?
I left on my face this morning.
Now watch this guy we have here.
Jacob, Edward I tranformar
after graduation.
You knew this would happen.
Not in a month or...
Before they leave.
Or I had a chance
to leave my mark on you
abdomen with this I have here.
God. look at the tail
that has this dog.
I would fuck
in two seconds.
Jacob, I know it hurts now
But eventually
you will forget me.
I have many muscles
I was telling you
that, over time
forget me.
You really have no idea
how much you mean to me.
Do not touch me.
I just leave my mark
in my pants.
Oh, Frank.
You know, Edward
could at least respect me like old times.
I was with Jake.
Father, what you have on your face?
The what?
Hey, the club's Gary Coleman.
You understand how
worried me?
I was perfectly fine.
I break the treaty and almost had to cancel my meeting with
Oh, heavens, I'm sorry. I know, I
smelling dog shit.
No, there's something wrong here.
Edward, what is it?
What is wrong?
Someone has been here
and took his "Ebony Thunder."
Who was it? Does anyone know?
A strange.
Did not recognize the smell, but
was intoxicating.
A nomad just passing through?
Anyone passing would not have left alive
the father of Bella.
I would not leave.
The smell disappeared
some five miles south of Bella's house.
It was very strong.
I think he ate eggs
Someone is orquestando this.
I have seen planning.
It has to be the Volturi.
Do not think that the Volturi have been
I have been watching the
palnos James, too.
So we should keep looking.
Vigilar will form turns to Bella's house.
protection team for this bitch?
No, she... is absolutely right.
You can not protect me, my father
vigilar, track the intruder,
cover is
glitter and feed.
I will not leave you here unprotected.
Well, I will not let you starve
And I will not be unprotected.
Jacob and the wolves can help.
Abdominal muscles.
Know who study the mind?
Oh, shit.
We lost
the first five minutes of "Ace of Cakes."
No. For all the devils.
I love this guy.
No. It is the final episode of the season.
Sometimes I wish I had never
moved to Forks.
I have caused so many problems,
would have been better to have stayed in Arizona.
However, while
I was a pededora
I hate eating alone, be alone
Saturday night,
I went to the school dance with
poor blonde who cleans the pool.
You know, on second thought, I think
that really should have changed out here.
This is the best thing that ever happened to me
Well, besides fuck Chao-lin.
Someone is eating mint?
I smell mint.
I love mint.
Sometimes I like 20 to
once and then the vomiting.
I'm bulimic and vegan.
Ah, damn. It has a restaurant
In-N-Out. I gotta go.
Well, whoever
forgotten to flush.
This thing was huge.
But we caught her scent.
It is difficult to lose it the next time
the cross.
We can take care of here.
Do not
need to beware of anyone or anything.
Let me take care of your bags.
Well done here.
No, you're done.
Or maybe this is just the beginning?
Stop. Enough.
Heaven, I'm so tired of this!
Do you know what, from now
'm like Switzerland, okay?
Like Switzerland,
you want to say a big vagina?
Edward hated the idea.
But this was no rivalry.
Was for my safety and that of Charlie...
And the package that has incredible
employee of the pizzeria.
In the following days could both
at least they could work together.
Damn, werewolf Jacob.
Not exactly an alliance
easy, but it worked.
Edward and his family went out to hunt,
I spent time with Jacob.
Are you sure it's okay
I stay here?
I am the girlfriend of a vampire and all the rest?
I have a perfect belly, no?
Besides this the council of the tribe has something special planned
for you tonight.
Jake. Jake.
The Quileute were always a small tribe
desdo the beginning
and always had magic in our blood.
We were great warriors spirits,
We'd turn the powerful Autobots
who fought against the Decepticons
though our children turned into
and formed an alliance with
Captain Crunch
and fought against the Hamburglar.
Nothing in dethia...
they appeared.
Someone is in the mood to do something old?
The sharp teeth of our warriors
soon as the shattered.
They like chicken.
Ended up with them all...
And franchise Blockbuster
and toys at the amusement park.
However, they lived in fear
insensitive that not alone.
And they were right.
There was a lot of them...
All different characters
acting exactly the same way.
It smells of cedar with a hint of strawberry
Two punches by making faces.
Do not you know you can not drink tea
without having your bag?
Here we go.
And the mad insensitive.
Destroyed with most of the tribe
before they could escape.
Our boss older
Mark Epstein
was the only warrior spirit
is left to save the tribe
after he killed his son.
The second wife of the head
Epstein saw that they would lose.
's Second wife was not a rival to be
no other special power
well as courage.
The sacrifice of the second wife
distracted the insensitive enough
for the boss to the Epstein cracked down.
She saved the tribe.
It was a mitzvah.
Over time our enemies disappear.
But would a , the insensitive
Our magic awakens
when they are close by.
The envision now.
We feel the threat.
In our blood, our guts, our tails.
Too deep.
How to vibrassem
revolving, a true paradise.
Something terrible is approaching.
We must be prepared.
Ready to release gas if necessary
to get your attention and defeat them.
Excuse me a minute.
Oh, he just shit.
This is a wonderful new piece of art, boys.
Ah, thank you, dear.
In fact, it is old.
Rosalie found in the basement this morning.
And I thought it would be fun
have her in sight.
Belo finding, Rosalie.
Yes, it was modeled after a certain
African tribal leader.
Mom used to go with it. As you can see
was too well endowed.
Well, not so great as his father loved.
Dad is just great, Mom.
Not as great as Nimbat
Ah, see, Alice and I
we used to hang out with Nimbat
Actually, my mother stole it from me.
Do not be angry for being too tight
for anal sex.
Yes, Alice anal sex is legal.
Wait. Sh, sh...
I want to hear it.
Seattle is consumed in a state of terror
However the police reacts
perplexed at the escalation of killings.
Disappearances, and the fact that Brendan Fraser
this finding work...
Ah... Brendan Fraser.
's Getting worse.
Perhaps devssemos do something.
It takes more than one of our
to do this kind of damage.
A few more. They are undisciplined, clear
and all wear their pants hanging
Neonates. Alias, "Noobs".
Oh, how un Orc level two in "Warcraft."
In the first months after the transformation
Okay, that's when we're uncontrollable.
We are vicious, blood thirsty
extranha have this disorder and of obsessive compulsive
telling that makes us all the time.
A testi testi-,
ha, ha, ha.
Two-testi testi,
ha, ha, ha.
Three-testi testi,
ha, ha, ha.
Do not tell anyone that I have three testicles.
It's something that we expect to face...
Count not testes.
Sure .
I'll go ahead check the mail.
I ordered a new box of medicine against acne.
Nooblets Now these are not untrained,
But this is not random
Someone is assembling an army.
An army of vampires?
No, the Salvation Army, bitch.
Do you think we are talking about?
You know it's really an idiot.
I hate the truth.
We are the only clan
near Seattle.
In addition to why they were created,
If we do not do something about it, the Volturi will
I'm surprised they have not done something.
You never dies, bitch?
What the hell are you doing, Rosalie?
Sorry. She is so unbearable
Why do not you just talk to her,
for everything sacred?
You're right, Bell?
Oh thank god.
Oh, shit.
It has just begun "Project Runway."
We can see on the big screen upstairs.
We, Bell, stop pretending so pretentiously.
Do not know how to do, Carlisle.
Do what?
Work around people who are injured every day.
How to resist temptation?
I've been doing this for a long time, Bella.
I've learned self-control.
I wish that all vampires had
this control.
I know?
Understand Him.
It's Edward who's out there?
Ah, I was wrong.
You'll feel just a little bite.
Oh, what did you do?
None. is typical in this type of wound.
Sorry .
I was falling out of bed.
And I grabbed what I could to keep from falling.
What are you doing here?
Need to talk to you.
Would you mind giving a hand to
pequeo Edward?
This so good, Bella.
Do not know what you saw in Edward,
But I'm willing to give it my all.
Let me show you.
Ah, could
... Could not do it?
Honestly, I got kicked out of the house.
Can I get a little with you?
I can not let you stay here.
No, not here.
Inside the cavernous your vagina.
Ah, yes.
- Oh, no. No.
- Oh, yes.
Friend, friend. Wait, wait.
What are you doing?
Friend, friend, friend. sorry, friend.
I know that should not be here, but I could not help
I can not stop thinking about her constantly
Day and night.
She's like my own personal
injection of heroin.
I just want to touch.
That the touch.
As you later, okay?
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Oh, god. Oh, god,
left on my microphone.
It's so beautiful here.
is organizing this huge graduation party
Which, of course, you are invited.
It has really great things planned.
I think something has something to do with Lindsay Lohan.
I had seen with ping-pong balls and a mule.
Yes I think I found too.
I wanted to do it otherwise.
More softly.
But now there is no time.
Time for what?
You should know the truth, Bella.
You have to understand all the options you have.
And now, you have to understand
it measures 77cm.
Was wrapped around the leg?
Yes, three times.
I have a new cream that is amazing.
It has become so large and curved
Bella, I want you to choose
I thought you had seen Jake.
I do not feel it for you.
I know he feels something for me.
Just do not want to admit.
Do not have to change
any person or
say goodbye to anyone.
I can give you more than he can.
Be careful, you idiot!
Hey, sorry,
wanted to know how you are doing.
We are well.
Want to leave us alone?
Hey, come on?
Are a couple or what?
No. We're working on it.
Come on, Jacob.
You are too much together.
Tell us what is happening.
Someone said they saw you in
's Good in one evening.
Hey, give us something new.
So Jake, if you feel well
Eddie eating cheese?
True, huh? Want to talk
cheese? Take it?
Oh god this house is wonderful.
I had the most fucked up there.
What are you doing here?
Someone told me something
on a free buffet with lobster red.
Congratulations, Bella.
I did something for you.
What sweet.
Thank you Jacob.
Oh, sorry.
I mean...
I have a sexy belly.
So it's true.
'll Be right back.
What did you see?
Already been decided.
What do you mean?
Not go to Seattle.
Come here.
Will arrive here within four days,
But not before passing the IHOP restaurant
to eat all the pancakes hang on.
As you know all this?
I follow your "tweets."
"I just had an incredible dinner at the brewery."
"I could not wait to eat pancakes from IHOP
before going to kill Bella."
This will turn into a bloodbath.
Who is behind this?
No one that I have recognized.
Maybe one.
I know your face.
Ronald Steers.
You just add me on Facebook.
Look, what matters is that
an army is coming here.
And we are not a lot to stop them.
What is this fucking army?
Let's face. Noobs. Yes?
Our species.
Are behind Bella.
They caught the smell of her vagina
of this magazine "Ebony Thunder."
What does that mean?
It's a pretty good magazine.
10 copies for $ 9.95.
Means that there will be a big fight
with the loss of many lives.
And we'll probably have a chance to use a uniform
Okay! We are in this.
No. They will kill you.
Not a chance.
We're not asking permission.
Edward .
Means more protection for you.
We need some training!
Fighting the Noobs
requires the knowledge that Jasper has.
Ah, yes... yeah.
Are welcome if they want to join us.
I like doing things.
Tell the time and place.
All this that is happening...
Is for me.
I am the center of everything.
Skies! I'm the best!
I, I, me, me.
We would have to prepare ourselves for what was to come.
Which meant another injection H.P.V.
And supplies for 30 days
remedy for acne.
Thank you.
Well, I studied.
What is this?
Oh, just a gift for graduation
I got from Jake.
Do not worry.
I can not eat any cake.
I'm really a gas of hell.
I mean, literally, at the time as
beginning to tear.
It's really bad.
As the corpse of a coyote
left side of the road for nine months
topped with melted Gruyere cheese.
Type or also as
a system of underground sewers Turkish
just after the Gay Pride parade
in the month of July...
Or as if I had just eaten a lot of
llama crap...
Okay, I understand.
Yes Yes, come on.
Sorry for the delay personally.
The Jacob entalou
new heater in the pool.
Work He takes it from there.
Was very good.
We know, man.
We know. It's fun.
Anyway welcome.
Jasper has experience with the Noobs.
He will teach us how to defeat them.
Well, what difference is between you and these vampires
They want to know what the differences between us and the
Are much more powerful than us.
Not only have
human tissues in your blood,
But if you inject.
As steroids?
Do not like orange juice, delayed.
Carlisle, we can kill it?
And then at peace with our lives?
Unfortunately for us,
the first months of life
are the most powerful.
Let me show you
some of their recent activities.
This will be good.
I hate these things.
Vale shame to see it, folks.
It's a "B" or a "P" it?
It is a "P".
Is a "P", dear.
I think it's a "B".
It was a "B".
teach us how to fight against these monsters.
Thank Carlisle.
Ladies and gentlemen, the two most important points
Noobs on how to break down are as follows:
Number one, do not let them catch
Keep your tight ass.
If you stick inside, they slip
as did my uncle Chris.
Number two, do not let them get
his balls.
They love balls.
Is one of his three favorite foods
which are also parts of the body.
They love it.
I've ever seen. OK?
Rosalie. Do not spare me.
There are blondes.
That was rule number zero.
I had not said.
I love you so much.
Jasper.Pega this.
Who's next?
Who's next?
Oh, shit. Come on.
Runs. Corre.
Not even the mighty Joe Young
can with me.
Who said Silk
tastes like regular milk
is a complete liar.
Fuck this diet.
What is the plan paleface?
Well, this field will be
our advantage in the fight.
We need to attract here the Noobs
with the smell of Bella.
This will end here.
Edward and I are going to camp on Saturday.
Even though he carry me in his arms
not hide my smell.
Your scent, yet it is repulsive.
What does this mean?
Oh, this is a good one.
Well, maybe just a sample.
Well, what Edward
means is that if you carry me
conceal my smell.
Let's make a test for the Sabbath.
Okay. Let's do this.
Two, one.
Well, sorry.
... We will get there.
Arrive there.
Although it was an idea of ??Edward,
he did not like the idea of ??me and Jacob
spending time together.
I hope he finally understands
my feelings for him are much stronger
that my feelings for Jacob.
Well, except when Jacob
her between her breasts.
I like it,
they are fun.
I will Chamos bags of fun.
Hey .
Want a sandwich?
No, I'm fine.
Father, I was thinking.
Why never married my mother?
Well, eh...
Indeed almost married, baby.
Yes His name was Frank.
I had the package more attractive
I've ever seen in my life.
He loved tennis as I did.
During the weekends we went to
in Palm Springs
and we stayed in one of these rooms with two beds per
$ 69.69.
We searched for antiques
did the "ski train",
ate each other.
What a sick parent.
Why do not you just
talks about the "ski train"?
Sure, sorry.
The "ski train" is when I'm naked on the bed
and he lay on the floor
and masturbated.
When he enjoyed , threw up a jet
and I caught him with my mouth.
And two shouted "ski train".
Oh, this is really disgusting.
Should have asked about the antiques.
Ah. Well, that's when
becomes the "ski train"
with a 85 years old.
This good father, I ask you something?
Do you believe in marriage?
Course! Why?
There's something I want to tell me?
Do not cared for, Bella?
Look, there are things you should know
before becoming physically intimate.
Okay father.
Mom has had this conversation with me.
Ahem. Listen dear.
This is not a game.
Should know about what sex means.
Now the man has penis
And the woman
have vagina.
Some women have vaginas
very large.
Too technical? Alright.
Since there is penetration
man and woman begin to
encoxar each other.
Could make us a demonstration
Father Edward
not interested in sex.
Get out of here!
No, he did not. I mean seriously.
No, seriously. Do not tell me.
Made me waste my time.
I have things to do. Go.
Descupe. My daughter has
a huge vagina.
As, an open mouth.
Hey, someone is looking for antiques?
Ever heard of "ski trainning"?
Do not believe we have the whole house
for us all night.
It has a bed?
I found a need to sleep.
Well, let me ask you something.
Marriage is the condition for
you change me, right?
Okay Yes
I want to negotiate my own condition.
Anything you want is yours.
Put ??this.
I thought it would be fun.
For you, anything.
OK.Isto well.
How am I?
Ah, perfect.
OK... now call me your bitch.
What? I can not.
Call me a bitch?
No. That's not how I was raised.
Bitch bitch!
Oh, I'll fuck you all!
OK. Now talk about my white ass.
I love your white ass ..
Ah, this is so fun.
Give me your chocolate, LeBron.
OK, OK, stop.
Can not do this.
What? It's just a game.
I'm out.
OK, sorry.
Let's just be ourselves.
You and I?
You are here
tastier anyway.
Oh, wow.
What are you doing?
Oh, just follow me, Edward.
I'll make you feel so good.
Oh, wow. OK.
I can not do that.
Bella, Bella, Bella,
I'm not ready.
Do not attract, Edward?
I mean, we seek a solution.
Can I lipo and silicone
or make a shave.
Whatever you want.
No, Bella.
I'm attracted to you, Bella.
Is that...
Want to have the biggest breasts in the world?
Does this help?
Please pay attention to the stage number seven
and let's give a big welcome to
Take this bitch to start.
Thank you.
Oh, yeah?
Take this.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Any guy would
your ball left
to be eating me right now.
Eating me, getting stronger.
Know what?
Fuck you.
Thank you, bastard.
I lost my erection.
Do not turn us?
Will be decided at the last minute.
I told you how it works.
The Cullens have powers.
Do not underestimate , Ronald.
You have the advantage of the majority,
but they can anticipate each of its movements.
According to your friend.
Yes, my dead friend...
Gary Coleman.
Shortly discovered what they were capable of doing
so killed him.
But not before telling me all about
Hey, it seems that
two became a couple?
No, seriously, you are
like the vampire version
Bonnie & Clyde.
It's so cool.
Do you mind?
No, I understand.
Want privacy.
But before contains.
Sex is better
as a vampire or a human?
Oh, come on, Ronny.
Do not be shy, brother.
Come on, how is it?
It does not give?
Could ...? No comments. Let
Oh, shit.
She gave you, right?
A vampire virgin.
Ah, little Ronny
vampirinho is a virgin.
Okay, enough.
We do things, right?
We do everything except this.
Wow. Tried to mount. Wow.
This is something that yes
Jonas Brothers, huh?
Move away from me.
It would be better if they gave
engagement rings
masturbassem and each other?
I did not speak.
This treading on thin ice.
Do not you think he exaggerated a bit?
Yes this is the only thing I have
to contribute, I want to do well.
Do well what?
Hi, Jacob.
Said Alice
a storm is coming tonight.
Yes, yes. I can feel.
'm having a maximum withdrawal.
Ah, this must catchup. Oh
See you there in two hours.
Ready to go, ma'am?
Yes, yes.
already know what they have to do.
I took.
And now... oh, heavens.
Gained weight?
Lost muscle?
I'll protect you.
Ah... here's one.
After this no one will follow us.
Oh, heavens, is this really necessary?
Want to stay safe, do not you?
I'm not a good swimmer.
Nor me.
taking classes at the YMCA and my teacher caught gonorrhea
and had to go back to Kansas.
I can not swim
and I have a vagina.
We will enter.
Let's drink.
Heaven, sorry.
My god.
Do not worry.
You must hurry, sweet tits.
Or these vampires grab you by the tail.
Oh, I almost arrived.
Oh almost.
Heavens, how hard it is.
Oh heavens.
Tell me when you're tired girl.
We're almost there.
Wow. How to burn.
Okay Okay.
Thank you.
We stumbled a little problem
a few miles but overcome.
Should go before the storm arrives.
No, I am as well.
I think I'll camp out here tonight.
Also, I have a chocolate bar
Why do you want to stay here?
Because I like to look.
Let entering the tent.
Sorry, honey
I wish there was something I could do
OK, I'm fine.
Guys we have a problem.
Someone brought spicy salsa?
Because this burrito is as dry as...
Wow, Bella
this okay?
We are well Jacob.
Leave us alone.
She do not look good.
Let the guy alone!
Look, this is not about me or you Edward.
It's about Bella.
Accept face.
I'm hotter than you.
Do not leave marks.
Hey, you the boss.
Do not leave marks!
Ah, yes.
No, no marks.
I have to say Jacob
if this situation were not
think probably we would be friends.
I know it sounds strange, but...
I think you're a nice guy.
A good, well...
a nice guy.
I mean, I think...
That their intentions are good.
It... damn, man,
what I mean...
Is our fault that our ancestors
between them have been fought for centuries?
Fuck me. Do it.
Makes me well, Jacob...
I need energy.
I would like to start from scratch with you.
Oh heavens!
Maybe go see a movie together
a coffee...
A trip to Las Vegas.
What madness.
A vampire and a werewolf
walking together, no?
I know, I know?
But think.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
We could change things for future generations.
Oh, Buddha...
Hey man, we could make a difference.
What do you say?
Want to go to Palm Springs?
Had a good night's sleep?
Yes I'm fine.
I must say, Jacob is not so bad.
I mean, it really is
true knight
you can trust.
It is difficult to find such qualities in someone
these days.
I said.
Oh my god,
these forests are incredible.
I just gave a shit time
near poisonous shrubs.
Oh my god.
We were looking for you guys.
Hello, Laverne. Shirley.
We called you a million times.
We left a million messages.
send sexy photos to Jasper every day.
I did not put this photo
As background on my desktop.
Not put.
Listen, ladies, we
a little busy right now.
Sure, send us away, Carlisle.
We are accustomed.
Seemed to have much time for us
during the last examination
in our vaginas.
Good Girl, honestly.
We're about to get into a fight.
Look, stop telling lies.
You're going to adopt or not?
Unfortunately not.
Fuck all the Cullen family.
Fuck legal.
Can we go now?
Someone noticed that they seem a bit?
What the fuck, huh?
I thought I knew where we were going.
Recalculating the route.
Cursed GPS.
The Noobs
will be forced to enter from the west.
Will wait until they cross the battlefield
And then attack him, but only when I give the order
, understood?
When I give the order.
Well, let's do this.
Leroy Jenkins.
Emmet, idiot.
I've had enough.
We want them.
Demons, no.
Already begun.
He said he has already begun.
They are??
And now they are imitating birds.
It's very gay.
Oh my god
are imitating birds.
This is very gay.
Jacob has just arrived.
Are marking their territory.
Still going, still going.
Still comes out from someone else?
Someone is injured?
It is close.
I can hear your thoughts.
Something about needing a
waxing Brazilian style.
because he feels when running.
Seth, see.
She found us.
It is not alone.
Oh my god
Ronald, listen to me.
is only using him to distract me.
Know I'll kill him.
Actually be happy
not having to deal with you anymore.
Do not pay attention to him Ronald.
Warned him about his mental tricks.
Do not get distracted
Keep looking, keep looking.
Oh, what will it be?
Wow, here we go. Here we go.
Son of a bitch.
Ah, my goddess.
I'll kill you.
Do not
will have an opportunity like this again.
Do you want it.
Want me to feel
The pain you felt when I killed
when shattered,
when converted into ashes,
when smoked
and gave everyone a ticket for
at a concert of Enrique Iglesias.
Where was it going?
Come here.
Take this.
You think you're going where?
not do that.
Do not do it.
Oh, your girlfriend is bleeding.
Oh, how I hate you.
Both, both.
Want one?
Oh, my god, it's very bad.
It's really... Oh my god,
is really bad.
Oh, it stinks so badly that the corpse of coyote
with melted Gruyere cheese
Which was abandoned
side of the road for nine months.
So bad... oh, the Turkish system stinks
after a Gay Pride parade
in July.
Oh, oh, that stinks as bad as
if he had eaten llama dung
Okay, yes, I know.
I know. stinks.
Hey, here they are.
Like that part about the llama dung.
We are very good.
Never seen a small group like yours
defeat a large army like theirs.
We were lucky.
I doubt it.
Luck is when one has a hand of six
and cropier
shows you a king and you play
and caught a four and a queen.
Or just when you bet on two horses 50 to 1,
and come in first and second place.
Or if you get Grambling
over Southern
but has to play a
and cover at the last second.
We will have to eliminate them.
We will be quick.
Not feel anything.
Oh, shit.
"Storage Wars" begins in five minutes.
What? He left no recording?
I want to thank everyone for a job well done
and I hope to see them at the wedding of Edward and Bella
next month.
You get married?
you knew this day would come.
For my body tan.
Finally cancel the wedding or I'll kill myself.
Jacob, put that knife.
This does not rank as
emergency situation.
Finally cancel .
Put that knife down and talk, OK?
Hey, who was Jacob?
What is your opinion about the conflict in the Middle East
This kidding?
Get out of here, asshole.
Oh, man.
Dude, sorry.
My abs.
My glorious abs.
By Edward y Bella.
... Huh?
There's something here.
There's a damn armadillo out of his nose
It's disgusting.
No measure of time with you is enough
begin with but...
It is impossible.
Are pregnant?
No, you idiot.
Oh, heavens.
God is a fucking pain in the belly.
Heaven, knew I should not have bought these stupid
shrimp tacos
Last night that salesperson
rounds of Guadalajara.
definitely pregnant, Bella.
It has only a slight inconsistency.
The results revealed blood
that the baby's DNA does not match exactly with the
The what?
It is impossible.
No, according to science.
Good? So who is?
Dad got bitches.
Hello everyone, I'm David and
about to see the new trailer
movie "Eclipse"
of "Twilight" saga.
We're about to see him, friends.
We got hands?
Always do this before.
Probably should we do it.
"The film was approved
next file to the appropriate audience."
I am so nervous.
I'm sorry if I start to scream.
Oh my god.
La comes.
No no no.
No no no.
-... My...
Oh my god.
See that?
Oh my god.
What the hell.
Oh, Alice...
New Video "Eclipse"
New Video "Eclipse"
New Video "Eclipse"
New Video "Eclipse"
New Video "Eclipse"
New video of "Eclipse" I'll see you
because I need to see it.
I was waiting for him...
Good, not all day,
but most of the day to see him.
I really can no longer wait
is because apparently the Volturi.
I love the Volturi.
Oh my god.
A video of "Eclipse."
Oh my god .
I'm seeing now
page and I can see the trailer now
I'm so nervous.
Oh my god.
I can not wait.
Oh my god, are the Volturi.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
It's amazing.
I like the part where
Triler the "Twilight"...
I like all that part.
I like everything.
Oh my god.
Why do not you show more?
Do not know what the fanatics
Need more?
Need more.
More. Please.
Hola. Bad, please.
I like everything.
What did I just see.
Crying because I was so good.
I have no voice because
spent the whole day...
New video "Eclipse"
New Video "Eclipse"
New Video "Eclipse"
New Video "Eclipse"
New Video "Eclipse"
New Video "Eclipse" I'll see you
because I need to see it.
was waiting for him...
Good, not all day,
but most of the day to see him.
I really can no longer wait
is because apparently the Volturi.
I love the Volturi.
Oh my god.
A video of "Eclipse."
Oh my god.
I'm seeing now
page and I can see the trailer now
I'm so nervous.
Oh my god.
I can not wait.
Oh my god, are the Volturi.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
It's amazing.
I like the part where
Triler the "Twilight"...
I like all that part.
I like everything.
Oh my god.
Why do not you show more?
Do not know what the fanatics
Need more?
Need more.
More. Please.
Hola. Bad, please.
I like everything.
What did I just see.
Crying because I was so good.
I have no voice because
spent the whole day...
I book a ticket for tomorrow morning
because I need to see again.
Oh, my god, oh my god.
I saw the fifth time.
Saw her four times yesterday
and, recently, I came home
to see it for the fifth time
and I feel totally exhausted.
I never tire of this film .
That will not happen.
No, it will not happen.
No, no.
I love this movie.
I love this movie.
I loved every second of it
and I played
which is surprising for me
because that's what usually happens,
totally honest to tell .
Oh, my God, I gotta go see it
again and again and again.
I do not even have words.
And I'm tired, but I'm still
and had never been here before.
And I'm eating cookies
no reason.
For no reason.
For no reason.