Bright (2017) Movie Script
Morning.
Ward.
Red sauce? Green sauce?
Babe, you up?
It's after noon, you gotta get up.
I made some coffee, come on.
There he is.
- Morning.
- Afternoon.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hi.
- Coffee.
- I know.
What the hell's this in my...
- What's that shit in there?
- What?
- Whoops.
- Yeah.
Ran out of coffee filters,
had to use a napkin.
- It'll be fine.
- I'll just chew that up next time.
Oh, come on.
Why is the Fairy in the bird feeder again?
- I... I thought...
- You told me that you killed it.
All right, I'm gonna be honest with you.
All right?
- Please.
- I don't fuck with no Fairies.
You need to fuck with that one.
When I was little, my cousin DayDay
was throwing rocks at this Fairy.
- The Fairy shit in his own hand...
- Uh-huh.
...threw the shit,
and it went in DayDay's eye,
and it was like a fucking cantaloupe.
- Bullshit story.
- No, he almost lost his eye.
- I'm telling you. Listen...
- That's not true.
$200. Pay the man.
Same man that does the bees.
No, I'm not paying $200.
I got this big, handsome, strapping man
standing right in front of me.
Go kill that Fairy, please.
Thank you so much.
I'll kill the Fairy.
Let me finish my coffee.
- I'mma kill the Fairy. All right?
- Okay.
That may kill you. You should do it
before you finish the coffee.
- How was work?
- Eh, work. Work is good, you know?
Just, a lot of stab wounds lately.
There's, uh...
We had this homeless guy come in,
throwing equipment everywhere.
It was wild.
A lot of traffic accidents,
- and this older guy, he coded out on me.
- What about that cop that's an Orc
that's now on the LAPD force?
- How does that work?
- He's not blooded.
He's not part of any blooded clan.
He's like a finger
that got cut off the hand.
He's dead to us.
This is shock trauma at its finest.
...and then you see the humans
and the Elves...
I don't want this guy in my car either.
Baby, I don't want you to get shot again.
Five years, I'm gonna retire.
But... I can't fuck up my pension.
All right? I mean,
that's my fucking worst nightmare.
You know what my worst nightmare is?
It's them wheeling you in
when I'm at work.
That's my nightmare.
Come on. Come here.
Fairy. Now.
Hey, y'all, I want y'all to trip off
my police-ass neighbor. He's a trip.
- Good afternoon, Officer.
- Hey. What up, Mike?
Yo, that Fairy been all up in my crib,
eating up my dog food and shit.
I'm about to call the city, man.
I am the city.
All right? You save your dime.
Fairy lives don't matter today.
Check this out, y'all.
This is probably gonna be good.
It's on now!
Ring the bell, y'all.
Oh!
Damn. Look at this nigga, man.
Oh, that's it right there.
Oh, you got it now. Take the homie out
LAPD-style like you do.
Oh!
You ain't gotta do him like that. Damn!
That was nasty.
- Man.
- Come on, G.
- It's what I do.
- Oh, shit.
Oh, and, uh, you keep doing
all your gangsta stuff.
I'm just trying to sell my house.
Don't worry about that.
Thanks for the show, Officer.
He's a trip. That motherfucker's crazy.
Got a fine-ass wife, too.
Are you in trouble?
Am I in trouble?
What your mother say to you?
Mom said that Nick got you in trouble
because Orcs are dumb.
That's not true, all right?
Orcs are not dumb.
Just, uh... All of the races
are-are different. Okay?
And just 'cause they're different
doesn't mean anybody's smarter
or dumber, you know,
better or worse than anybody.
All right? It's just-just...
You know, everybody's just trying
to get along and-and...
have a good life.
What the hell?
Hey, baby, you gotta take some clothes.
Get some clothes.
Fine.
Hey, hey!
Hey, partner.
Ready to get back to work? All healed up?
What the hell are you doing at my house?
Why are you at my house?
Why are you on my lawn?
Your lawn's dead, Ward.
Exactly. Which is why I seeded it
and spread cow shit everywhere
so it grows back.
That's not really cow shit.
- What do you mean it's not cow shit?
- It's sewage, from toilets.
From the treatment plant, swear to God.
I paid $400 for this.
- That's bullshit.
- Human shit.
- Why do you think I compost?
- Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.
You don't ever come here in that
ever again.
I was at diversity training. Your house
is on the way to the bar. I thought...
- Hi, Nick.
- Hey, Sophia. What's up, rock star?
We're gonna go to Grandma's.
- Grandma's? Hop in, we'll give you a ride.
- Shut up.
- This ain't no Uber, man.
- Don't tell Nick to shut up.
He's a person, too.
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
That's an enlightened kid you got there,
Daryl.
Don't worry about me.
Just Crip-walk your asses
on back to the barbecue.
Be nice to give you a ride...
- Shut up.
- ...on your first day back.
Lovely song.
There's Grandma.
Hey. Uh, I'm...
Okay. Good to see you.
Uh...
All right, baby. What's up?
What's happening? What's up?
Why you sad?
What happened?
I don't want you to die.
I'm not gonna die. What are you...
- What you talking about?
- Mama said Nick's gonna get you killed.
I don't know why she said...
Nick is not gonna get me killed,
all right?
Why do you have to be a policeman?
Everybody hates policemen.
Hey...
Know what?
You smell like you haven't slept.
I have melatonin in my war bag.
You take one before bed,
- turn off the laptop, get...
- Maybe I'm having trouble sleeping
because of the nightmares I'm having
from being blasted across the street
with a shotgun
while your ass was getting a burrito.
But I was getting a burrito for you.
- Yeah...
- I don't eat cow flesh.
Do you think that you could get a burrito
and do your job?
You think you could get a burrito
and watch my back
- like every other cop manages to do?
- Yes.
Look, I know... you're disappointed in me.
I know that you think that I let you down.
- Yeah. You know what?
- But I...
You know what? It's a new day.
Back to work. We hitting the reset button.
Copy that. Copy that.
We're hitting the reset button.
Moving forward together.
As friends, together.
We will not be listening
to no Orkish music.
That is one of the greatest love songs
ever written.
That's a love song in prison.
I believe that you're lacking in love,
Ward.
- I'm what?
- By love, I mean...
like... physical love.
Yeah. Um...
Right?
I'm straight. I don't need
no physical love. Trust me, I'm good.
You can't hide it, Ward.
Humans have physical tells.
- Tells, huh?
- Yeah.
- It's called a face.
- I ain't making no face.
- Like the face you're making right now.
- I ain't making no face.
All right.
What face am I making?
"A human who needs a lot more
conjugal love" type face.
"Conjugal love" face.
So you know human face...
Show me another human face.
- What's another one we make?
- Oh, uh...
- What's that face?
- Human who doesn't get anymore pancakes.
- We do like our pancakes, for real.
- I got a lot of 'em.
- You got a lot?
- I got a lot of them.
Show me the face an Orc makes
when he just shut the fuck up,
and don't say shit,
and just drive to work.
Yeah, that's it! That's it!
Oh, you got that one!
Yeah, you killing that one.
You should do that one.
Do that one, like, all the time.
Whoa. Whoa. Why you going this way?
It's fine, it's a shortcut.
See? They're very nice here.
Dude, you can't go through Elftown.
You are killing me. Killing me, dude.
So, what, you trying to...
get yourself some designer shoes?
Ain't nothing over here but rich-ass Elves
just running the world and shopping.
I hate Elftown.
Even the chauffeurs are snobs.
Hey. Back already, Ward?
Where's the, uh,
diversity hire you ride with?
Yeah, what kind of partner is Jakoby?
Is he your dance partner?
Your sexual partner?
'Cause he fucking sucks
at catching bad guys.
That's Clan Law shit, dog.
Orcs got each other's backs.
Hey, look, why y'all acting like
I put this dude in my car?
So what are you doing to get him
the fuck out of this division?
Hey, long as he pull his weight,
I ain't got no beef with him.
No. No, no, no. You could do shit, man.
You could write a letter.
His ass would be gone if we back you up.
That's a fact.
- But you only care about yourself, Ward.
- Right.
Did I... Did I ask you for advice?
'Cause I'll probably wait till I'm on my,
like, ninth divorce,
then your advice
will come in really handy.
That's good. That's fucking good. Noted.
Meanwhile, that Orc fuck
is still out there
because Jakoby chose clan blood
over the badge.
Or the motherfucker just got away.
He got away 'cause Jakoby let him.
What happens next?
What happens the next time
this pig motherfucker
makes a cop suck-start
his fucking 12-gauge?
Only this time, it's Brown,
or it's Hicks, or it's fucking me.
How you gonna feel, Ward?
'Cause that shit is on you.
Well, if you in the box,
I'll probably be like...
Ward, you son of a bitch.
Hey, look, I got a dude in my car,
the whole world is watching, all right?
I didn't ask for it, I don't want it,
but I don't get a vote.
And what happens if they hire more?
You know what they say.
Once with the Dark Lord,
always with the Dark Lord.
They chose evil.
Here's the thing I can't understand.
How do a bunch of dudes who can barely
remember their baby mama's birthday
have beef with a whole race
over some shit that happened
2,000 years ago?
Here's the fucking deal, man.
You keep Jakoby
the fuck away from me. Okay?
I'll drop an Orc. I don't give a fuck.
My ancestors killed them
by the fucking thousands in Russia.
- Attaboy, Ward!
- About time, Ward.
All right, settle down,
settle down. The captain's coming.
Ward, I saved you a seat.
Take it away, boss.
Ward, nice to see you back.
Cap.
- Tonight's the trifecta.
- Hey, is that your cousin?
Full moon, Friday night...
- No.
- ...summer heat wave.
Clear your calls fast,
help your colleagues clear theirs,
get me out of this deployment period
without another murder,
I'll buy you all coffee.
Sergeant Ching, all yours.
All right, after I call your name,
get your shotguns and radios and deploy.
I don't want to see you here
unless there's bad guys under the desks.
Three-Mary-25, Pollard.
Three-Mary-55, Kim.
Three-Mary-60, Thomas.
Three-A-21, Pippen and Gosser.
Three-A-54, Hancock and Wheeler.
Three-A-80, Crawford and Duncan.
Three-A-9, Jakoby and Ward.
- Three-A-34, Jones and Morengo.
- Hey, uh, hit the kit room.
- Three-A-82, Ortiz and Mencia...
- I'll meet you at the gas pumps.
- I'll be right down. I just need to...
- Okay.
Three-A-99...
- No.
- Yes. Put him in another car.
What the fuck about my demeanor
gives you the impression
that I want to be a target
on the department's Orc-diversity radar?
These decisions are made
nine miles above me.
No. They're made right on your paper,
right there.
Scratch him out.
Scratch his name out.
Put another name, anybody.
Ward, no one wants to ride with you.
Goodbye. Don't get shot again.
Good luck.
- Hey, looking good, bud.
- Looking real good. Real good.
Be safe, guys.
What's up, homies?
Your ass still alive?
You know something about that?
It wasn't me.
Get the fuck off of the street
or I'mma call your PO,
tell him you out drinking
with the homies.
I ain't gonna tell you two times.
Let's go.
I need to know if the shit pop off
with these Fogteeth fools
that you got my back,
that you a cop first.
Are we clear?
Clear.
I'm about dope, money, and guns.
That's my job.
Your job is to make sure
I go home at night.
- I don't like this small talk.
- This ain't no small talk.
This is big-ass talk.
We doing real shit out here.
All Westlake units,
three-A-4 is requesting assistance.
Sixth and Whitmore. Sixth and Whitmore.
All Westlake units, Three-A-4...
Get him the fuck on the ground!
Back the fuck up!
Stay there! Stay right fucking there!
- Do not resist! Don't...
- Shut the fuck up!
I need to know if you're a cop first...
or an Orc first.
- I need to hear you say it.
- Ward, I...
I wanted to be a cop
since I was a little kid.
I am nothing else.
My badge means more to me
than the air I breathe.
So don't question me.
Three-A-9, 415. Fifth and Westlake.
Code two, incident 2415.
Three-Adam-9. Roger, show us en route.
Three-A-9, roger.
The fuck outta here.
God damn it!
Rodriguez. Hey.
Oh, shit, man. I thought you were dead.
Nah, man, too many bills to pay.
I hear ya.
I thought you were out
having your, like, zillionth baby.
Ah, nah, man. Marisol's a week late.
We're inducing next week, though.
Number five.
- Five.
- Lot of mouths to feed.
Yeah, man.
Sir...
drop the sword.
You.
The Army of Nine Races
fought shoulder to shoulder
to give you the world you neglect.
- Hey, tell him to shut up.
- 2,000 years ago,
- we fought them with swords and arrows.
- Sir...
And now, the Dark One returns
to reclaim Orc hearts!
Everywhere I go, why have Orcs
always gotta be the bad guys?
Hey, don't look at me, man.
Mexicans still get shit for the Alamo.
Get back! Get back!
Sir, unless you wanna die,
you drop that sword right fucking now!
Hey, you got me shot,
don't get me stabbed.
Turn around, sir.
- Hands on your head.
- I'm doing it, man. Jeez.
- On your knees.
- I... All right.
Don't move.
Having a little fun.
Aah! Shit!
All right. Damn.
I'm not resisting, man.
Three-Adam-9, one in custody.
All units, code four.
Fifth and Westlake, suspect in custody.
Okay, man, easy. Gimme a... Gimme a... Ow!
- Hey.
- Hey.
Real quick.
Gang intel said Fogteeth's been smashing
like a motherfucker,
and Altamira's gangbanging like it's 1999.
- Watch your backs out there.
- Hey, you too.
- All right, brother.
- Kiss your family.
Sir, can you sit back?
You-You stink like shit. Can you sit back?
Thank you.
Come on.
That's bad.
I have a message
from the Shield of Light.
Remember the old ways.
Remember what you are.
Is that Orkish?
How the hell do you know
how to speak Orkish?
What'd he say?
Remember your traditions.
Only clan ways can save you.
The Prophecy has chosen you.
The man with you is blessed.
Jakoby!
Come on, man.
What the hell is your problem?
What'd he say?
He's not making any sense.
Where's Jakoby?
Uh, booking our body, ma'am.
Um, I love your hair.
Who are you?
I'm the unemployment line,
or a prison sentence.
I could be the Angel of Mercy,
but it's up to you, buddy.
Ah.
Internal Affairs.
That's right, all fucking day long.
Now, let's review, kids.
Some pigskin piece of shit puts a load
of buckshot into your trauma plate.
- Shithead foot-bails, Jakoby pursues...
- Hey!
Hey!
Police! Stop!
...corners his asshole in, what,
a dead-end alley?
Jakoby states dude tackled
and disarmed him.
Then jumped on a fire escape ladder
and evaded arrest.
Jakoby's signed statement.
Ladder's 13 feet off the ground.
We measured.
- Mm-hmm.
- No Orc has a six-foot vertical.
Perhaps the suspect
was light on his feet, sir.
Do Orcs have, uh, mad hops?
How many Orcs are ballers?
- Excuse me?
- You fuckin' heard the detective.
- How many Orcs play pro basketball?
- None.
They're slow, they're heavy.
That's why half the NFL
defensive lines are Orkish.
It's not racism, it's physics.
Jakoby kicked loose that pigskin fuck
who blasted you.
Do the math.
Orcs hold Clan Law above all else.
That's a fact.
The Jakoby issue is sensitive.
The world's watching.
- We can't fire him without cause.
- Which is why...
you're gonna get him to admit it...
and you're gonna record him.
The fuck outta here.
I want the guy out of my car, but...
I snitch, I'm done as a street cop.
We know, uh, you got a house note
you can't pay down.
Right? Drowning in debt.
Raising a little girl
you can't afford to pay for.
Mmm.
Father of the fucking year.
You talk about my family again,
I'll split your fucking head open.
Ward.
You need this job.
Don't throw it away for Jakoby.
Get off me. Get off me.
Give it to me.
No testifying...
no depositions,
no paperwork.
Good man.
Very smart.
Shave your mustache, bitch.
It's just business.
Place is a shithole.
An Orc with a badge.
Incredible.
That's some shit you don't see every day.
Like an Elf with a mop.
Did you see those two guys?
I think they're feds.
Could they be here for me?
Feds don't give a shit
about the LA Orc community.
Yeah, you're right.
S... So, my-my daughter...
um...
Sophia...
she be doing shit all the time, man,
that she don't have no business doing.
Um...
But... she comes clean.
She always tells the truth.
'Cause she realized it feels good.
Feels good to her, feels good to me.
And, uh, truth just has a way...
of clearing the air between people.
If it cleanses...
cleanses some shit, you know,
it's like, just tell the truth.
I know something very bad happened
at the station.
I know.
So are you gonna tell me about it or no?
I'm talking about you. All right?
Don't be trying to twist this.
Nothing happened at the...
- I'm not...
- ...trouble, 341 Abrams.
Code two, incident 2815.
Three-Adam-9, show us en route.
341 Abrams.
Three-A-9, roger.
How long you been in Shield of Light?
What's that?
God!
You little fuck-up.
Aah! Shit! What are you doing, man?
No questions, just shut up.
Hey, nice Shield of Light tattoo!
- Good one.
- You know who we are?
Housekeeping.
You might wanna look at this.
Fuck. Magic Task Force.
Right. The magic feds.
You know, Serling,
if you're gonna play stupid games,
you're gonna win stupid prizes.
Fuck you.
You wanna test me, asshole?
Okay! I'm not your enemy, man.
What do you know about the Inferni?
Um... they're Elves.
Renegade Elves.
Renegade Elves, sorry.
Because Elves are awesome, right?
They're gonna bring back the Dark Lord.
Fairy fucking tales.
How do they plan to do that?
When they get three Magic Wands,
they can raise him from the dead.
You recognize her?
That's Leilah.
She's an Inferni coven leader.
She's a Bright.
You ever notice how
most Brights are Elves,
and Elves run the world?
Coincidence?
There are human Brights.
One in a million.
But you know how you know
if you're a Bright?
When you touch a Wand...
with your bare hand...
and don't explode.
Would you do that?
Would you die to learn the truth
about yourself?
If I had a Wand... I'd try.
Let's get back on track.
So Leilah has a Magic Wand,
and she's coming after Tikka, right?
And she'll shred this city to do it.
We get Tikka,
we can set a trap for Leilah.
We hunt Wands, we hunt Brights.
That's what we do,
and we're pretty fucking good at it.
You wanna help us?
Come on.
The Dark Lord's coming.
What, are you gonna to fight him with,
with tanks?
Huh? You gonna drone him?
Two thousand years ago, magic stopped him.
And magic will stop him again.
One day, you all are gonna come begging
for our help.
And we'll be there. We'll stop him.
The Shield of Light will stop him.
I'm done.
We're done.
If you act like my enemy...
you become my enemy.
See that?
- Oh, it's a spotter.
- Mm-hmm.
Get down! Down! Go!
Oh. Yeah, that's... That's not good.
- Yeah.
- We could die.
- First time being shot at?
- Yeah.
I have to say, I dislike it very much.
Yeah, it fucking sucks.
All right, look... on three,
we're gonna dump this asshole.
All right?
- Right. That makes sense.
- Use force.
- All right.
- Yeah.
One, two, three.
- You all right?
- Hmm? Yeah.
- No holes?
- Huh? Uh...
Only the ones that I was born with.
How are your holes?
The fuck can you make
a shootout awkward?
Sorry.
Sorry.
Wait for the reload! All right?
- He's gonna have to reload.
- Reload.
Now!
Shit.
We got him.
Get the door. Get the door.
- Shouldn't we wait for the cavalry?
- We are the cavalry.
Ward, can't we wait for backup? Ward.
Go, go, go.
I smell blood, Ward.
Lots of blood.
- What's that?
- Don't know.
Oh, shit.
- Body. Body.
- What?
Shit. Shit.
Cover the hall.
- What the fuck is that?
- Cover the hall.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
Don't touch anything.
Yeah.
- Body.
- Wh...?
That's our shooter, he's down.
Someone's in here. I can smell them.
These people died so bad.
Clear.
Something unusual has happened here.
Three-Adam-9, 341 Abrams.
Possible Bright at our location.
Request additional units and a supervisor.
Possible magic-user on scene.
Hey! Freeze!
You! Wait, stop!
Hey! Hey!
Stop running!
- Hold her, hold her!
- Stop! Stop! Stop!
What has she got?
What is that? What is that?
Go get the homies.
Put it down or I'm gonna shoot you
in your face!
Is that...?
It's a Magic Wand.
Who, uh...
Who are you?
Please protect me.
She's speaking Elvish.
I don't speak Elvish.
Well, I took two yearsin high school,
but, uh...
She said somebody's coming.
Please protect me and the Wand.
As far as I can tell, a Bright came in,
used the Wand, and...
magicked everybody the fuck up. Uh...
We need to evacuate this neighborhood,
secure the scene,
hold the perimeter till the feds get here.
What the fuck are you, new?
- This is way above our pay grade.
- That's magic right there.
That's whatever you want.
You want a million dollars?
You want ten million?
You wanna be taller or shorter?
Make your dick bigger?
You wanna go back in time, marry the girl
who didn't blow you on prom night?
That's how you do it, right there.
Well, clearly,
we had different prom nights.
But that is a Magic Wand,
and you don't know how to use it.
And you're gonna kill us all trying.
Only a Bright can use a Wand,
and you don't look like a wizard to me.
Don't put your hands on that Wand.
- Hey, don't touch the Wand.
- I got it.
Don't touch it.
Hey, hey, hey. Don't be...
Fucking ice cold.
- All right, you're not stealing that Wand.
- Nobody's coming, Ward.
Whoa. Hey...
Fuck is you squaring off on, bitch?
Hey, Sarge,
you need to talk to your boys right now.
You need this just as much as we do,
maybe more.
Your family depends on you.
Don't you wanna be there for them?
What about Jakoby?
Can you tell me your name?
- Tikka.
- Tikka.
My name is Tikka.
We have to leave before she comes.
Before who comes?
It's not happening.
No. No.
Pollard, he's spinning.
- No, he's not spinning worth shit.
- He's fine, he's fine.
- This is stupid.
- Calm down.
- Hey, fucking chill. He's fine.
- Back up.
- He's fin... Hey, hey!
- The fuck you gonna do?
Calm down. Fucking calm down.
Back the fuck up.
Back the fuck up. Listen. Listen.
This is happening.
- This is fucking happening.
- Fuck off of me.
All right?
- Fuck.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
There's no version of you walking out
of here with life as you know it intact.
Fuck this. We are taking the Wand,
and the Orc dies.
And you got a big decision right now.
Either your little girl grows up
without a daddy and Jakoby dies,
or just Jakoby dies.
And it is time to make a choice.
You or him, Ward. You or him.
Is tomorrow's LA Times gonna say
one cop died here, or two?
Yeah, there it is.
He just caught up to it.
Everyone wins.
Department gets rid of Jakoby,
he dies a hero, public's happy.
This report writes itself.
The perfect storm, bro.
It's the perfect storm.
You okay?
Hey. Take Sophia,
get out of town right now.
What? Why?
Get out of town right now. I love you.
Ward, where is everyone?
We haven't even set a perimeter.
I'm pretty certain that pee-wee gangster
saw the Wand.
And she is spooked.
Says somebody's coming.
Like... Like, someone bad.
But what's...?
You seem like you-you have
bigger troubles.
You let the shooter go, didn't you?
'Cause he was clan blood?
Now? You wanna fucking go through this
right now?
What else you lie about, pigface?
Don't put your fucking hands on me!
You fucked me.
You fucked us both.
Pigskin piece of shit.
You fucked my whole life
over some stupid Orc knucklehead.
Fuck you, Ward.
Fuck off.
- What...?
- I dare you.
I dare you to pull your gun. Please.
Go ahead.
I will fuck you up in a gunfight.
I gave you plenty of time
to talk about this shit.
- Karma is a bitch, and here it come.
- I let him go.
So what's the real plan?
Two cops die tonight.
What about the Elf?
I'll kill her.
- You good?
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah.
- Sarge?
You see my teeth? They're filed.
I'm not blooded, my father's not blooded,
his father's not blooded.
I've been shit on by Orcs
my whole fucking life.
Huh? You know what that feels like,
when your own people hate you?
Why'd you lie, Nick?
It wasn't clan politics.
I just had the wrong guy.
Oh.
Story time?
The guy that shot you,
I lost him in the crowd.
I circled back, and I thought I had
that fucking guy dead to rights.
But it was a different kid.
He was just tagging.
And the troops are coming.
Jacked-up humans with guns
looking for an Orc who'd shot a cop.
You think that kid had a chance?
Go, go, go!
They would've dropped him on the spot,
so I did the right thing.
- Code four.
- Clear.
You never saw his face. How'd you know
it wasn't the motherfucker that shot me?
His fucking smell.
Yeah, years of evolution haven't
taken away our sense of smell.
And he smelled different.
- What human jury would believe me?
- What, he have Axe body spray?
Yeah, see, this is what
I have to fucking deal with.
The Orc that shot you...
- got away.
- Ward!
It's time.
"It's... time"?
Time for... Time for what?
All four of 'em standing there?
- Yeah.
- Your left to right, who is it?
Brown, Hicks, Pollard, and Ching.
What's going on, Ward?
Don't, don't, don't, don't...
Don't.
Partner, no!
Drop it, or I will fucking kill you.
Hey, listen to me.
This isn't like you.
All right, calm down.
- I know it looks bad.
- Shut up. Shut up, show me your hands.
- I didn't have a choice, Nick.
- Shut up.
Now turn back around!
What's your plan?
I'm...
I'm gonna arrest you, so... so shut up!
First of all, stop telling me to shut up.
Second, I need you to shut up
- and listen to me.
- Shut up!
Turn around! Get on your fucking knees!
Gonna have to fuckin' kill me if you think
you're gonna put me in handcuffs.
Ward...
Three-Adam-9.
I got four officers down,
one officer conscious and breathing.
Three officers...
KMA.
All units,
officer needs help, 341 Abrams.
Officer needs help, 341 Abrams.
- Roger on the RA.
- Oh, this is bad.
This is so bad.
Put your big girl panties on.
They were gonna kill us...
over that Wand, all right?
They were acting crazy.
Don't you say a word.
Not to me, not to anybody.
Jakoby?
Jakoby, who are these people?
Oh, shit. Put her in the truck.
Put her in the truck.
Keep the Wand safe!
Motherfucker, what?
Protect the Wand.
Those cops there... they okay?
That's a lot of blood, homes.
That ain't none of your concern.
Maybe you should go over and give 'em
a little mouth-to-mouth. Huh?
This is an active crime scene.
We ain't never had no beef, Poison.
Why don't you take your people home.
Word on the street,
there's a Wand in this hood.
Where's it at, man?
- My hood.
- Altamira.
Alta-fucking-mira, eh?
That's right.
So, when the little homies tell
that the cops are shooting each other
in my hood...
makes me wonder. Hmm?
Where's the Wand?
Ghetto rumors, homie.
Don't wanna get shot in your face
over a rumor, do you?
Why don't you go head home?
The Wand belongs to the people.
- To the barrio.
- Get back!
Homeboy.
- You heard me.
- Smooth.
It's mine...
if I have to kill every fucking cop in LA.
You're gonna get your chance,
'cause SWAT is about 90 seconds out.
Nick, get in the truck.
Get in the fucking truck, Nick!
- Listen to your master. Get in the truck.
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you, homie.
- Fuck you.
What is that,
a fuckin' Labradoodle you dipped in ink?
- Messed with puerco, homie.
- Fucking ugly-ass motherfucker.
Looks like apuerco to me.
Get me that Wand.
Windows up, bulletproof.
- Is a SWAT team coming?
- No, Nick. Go. Go!
- Wrong way, Nick.
- Yeah, well, someone was on the car.
Come back, you motherfucker!
Bulletproof, dickhead.
Go, go, go, go!
Let's get the fuck outta here.
Drive like you stole it.
Altamira gang, homie.
Let's get these motherfuckers.
Go! Go!
Drive straight, not sideways!
Shit, I'm out.
- Shit.
- Butterfingers.
We were doing so good.
They don't teach that at the academy.
No, they do not.
We have to turn back.
Stop the car. Inferni!
- Inferni! Inferni!
- Relax, relax.
- The hell is she saying?
- She won't let it go!
Oh, shit!
What's happening? Hey!
Hey, shut up! Shut up! What is that?
Shut up!
- The fuck?
- Problem?
Tech services is flagging
some weird-ass cell phone inter...
Talking about a Magic Wand.
Help me. Help.
Larika.
Oh...
Leilah. The traitor escaped.
She has your Wand.
I got blood in my eye.
What the fuck did we hit?
Oh, that was the Wand.
You know what a binding spell is?
It stops it from getting too far away
from its owner.
Pulls it back.
Owner? Who owns a Wand?
A Bright.
Please, sir.
Tell me what happened.
Tell me.
Cops started shooting at each other,
and a black cop killed them all.
He left with an Orc cop and an Elf girl.
An Elf?
No! No!
Okay, you know what?
You need to sit your crazy ass down.
Look, half of our division is on some
old-school Rampart shit, a'ight?
They're gonna kill you first,
then they're gonna kill me,
they're gonna take the Wand,
and that's when the stupid shit's
gonna start.
And by the way, that's only
if the gangstas don't get it first.
And that's when the triple stupid shit's
gonna start.
We gotta get out of this neighborhood.
Yeah, but the Wand is gonna stop us.
The binding spell is gonna stop us.
We'll hide the Wand.
We'll hide it here
and come back and get it.
I am not abandoning the Wand.
- We are not the fucking Wand police.
- You want bodies on the street? Huh?
All of LA on fire?
This is like a nuclear weapon
that grants wishes.
No. The feds have people
that deal with magic.
- We call them. We ask...
- You wanna call the feds?
I got bodies on my gun, remember?
Yeah, well, don't look at me,
I just let an Orc go.
Really, Nick?
Really?
That was irony.
- No, that's just being an asshole.
- Oh.
Gonna call Rodriguez.
He's a sheriff, he's not LAPD.
- He's solid as fuck. We can trust him.
- That's a good idea.
Shh, shh.
- They're coming for the Wand.
- Ah, shit.
- What is it?
- The lock.
We left the lock outside on the ground.
Go.
Partner, look out!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
Let's go! Let's go!
Nick, let's go.
Come on, let's go!
What is your problem?
Wait! I dropped the Wand.
Don't you fucking touch that!
Where did they all go?
I think we're breathing 'em.
- Hey, do me a favor.
- Uh-huh?
Don't drop that shit no more.
What? No.
Why would I?
Ah, shit! Ah!
Ward...
I shot a human. Did you see?
Yeah, I'll get you some ice cream later.
Damn.
- I'm hit.
- What?
They're not gonna stop.
They're gonna keep coming. Let's go.
What are you doing here?
You fucking traitor.
Keep walking.
Tikka!
Where's Tikka?
Tikka!
On my back! Get on my back!
Get those fucking cops.
Tikka!
Ward?
Ward!
You want some of this?
I found Tikka. Let's go!
Tikka! Get down!
Ward, this way!
- Execute.
- Sir.
- Move! Let's go! Move!
- Confirmed use of magic.
She's Inferni.
What a shitshow.
You want to, uh, unpack this for me, boss?
Leilah.
Leilah was here.
What are you talking about?
She was sent to kill Tikka,
- then Tikka did that.
- She wants her Wand back, right?
- Yes.
- And Tikka has it.
- Yes.
- And those cops she ran off with, uh...
Ward and...
What? Jakoby.
The Orc cop we saw at the station.
They have no idea who Tikka is.
It's been 20 years.
What does that even mean?
Twenty years I've been hunting Leilah.
Without her Wand...
she's vulnerable.
Now's a bad time to go shopping, Ward.
Everybody's looking for two cops.
We gotta switch it up.
Oh, yeah.
Running through a Fogteeth party
is not good community policing.
Yeah, well, we're alive,
and we got the Wand.
Orcs hold grudges. That's all I'm saying.
Tell me about it.
Hey, follow me. Let's go.
Tikka.
- Oh, thank you, ma'am.
- Go.
- That's good.
- Thank you.
Take your old lady,
get the fuck outta here. Go. Go.
I need you to get the fuck outta here.
All right? Go.
Jesus.
Whoo!
Seven dudes with choppers
down the right, five down the left.
Bunch of motherfuckers in the middle.
Officer Ward...
I think we need to talk.
Hey, Poison, how you doing?
Some fucked-up shit went down tonight.
My homieswanna cut your fucking head off,
the cops wanna cut your fucking head off,
the Fogteeth gang
wanna cut your fucking head off.
Yeah, I got that effect on people, Poison.
Imagine how my old lady feels.
Me? I just wanna protect you.
Mmm.
Get you home safe and sound,
with all your sins forgiven.
But you gotta give me that Wand.
You wanna do the right thing?
Help me walk again.
Help me make love to my old lady again.
Help me get rid of this shit again.
Give me the fucking Wand, or I will nail
every door in this place shut
and burn this place down
to the fucking ground.
And then I will pick up the Wand
from the ashes, and I will laugh.
Chopping it up with the homie for a sec,
Poison.
I'm running out of patience, Officer Ward.
- Let's give this motherfucker the Wand.
- What?
Look, we gonna get
everybody in here killed,
and then he's gonna
take the damn Wand anyway.
I'm not giving that guy the Wand.
Over my dead body.
He's gonna have to kill me first.
So you wanna die in a gunfight
in a nasty-ass titty bar?
That's what you want?
I don't wanna die anywhere.
You know what? Now I do. Fuck it.
I wanna die. Let's do it right now.
We gonna titty-bar-gunfight die.
Let's do it right here, right now. Ready?
I just wish your dumb ass
was a better shot.
- What she say?
- She says the devil is coming.
The devil's ass is out there
in that wheelchair.
- Let's go. On three. One...
- Let's do it.
- ...two... three.
- Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Go, go, go!
Go! Go, go, go!
Move!
- Go, go, go!
- Go, go, go!
Hurry!
LAPD!
- Oh, fuck. Come on!
- Who is she?
Inferni! She wants her Wand.
Move!
I'm not a cop after tonight, am I?
No. Neither am I.
I think we should probably spend our time
- just trying to survive this shit.
- Survive?
Being a cop is all I've got.
Right now I'm still a cop,
and if I die tonight,
I'll be a cop forever. I'll be a...
I'll be a hero forever.
Why the fuck do you wanna die for a world
that doesn't give a shit about you?
Orcs chose the wrong side a long time ago
and they've been paying for it ever since.
You know, when an Orc sees me...
they see a man... a wannabee human.
When humans see me, they see an animal.
They hate me.
They don't hate you.
We know when people like us
and when they don't.
Like you, Ward.
When you came out of that house
with pure hatred in your eyes.
Pure... hatred.
Look, I told you what that was, all right?
Why didn't you tell me the truth
about helping the Orc kid?
I'm not saying it would've changed...
anything, but, shit, it might have.
I got confused.
And with humans, you understand,
everything is so definite.
Like, you say something,
and all of a sudden it's law,
and you can't walk it back.
You gotta tell me...
if I'm supposed to be your partner.
I don't care what we'll say to them,
but you gotta tell me the truth.
You can't lie to me.
Oh, so I'm supposed to trust you
when you don't trust me?
That's a good point.
You're a good cop.
And people are really hard on you, so...
you're really hard on yourself.
Come on, crazy.
Ward, do you know that you are
who I wish I was?
You're fearless.
You always know what to do.
What you did tonight,
that's what it takes for an Orc
to get blooded.
An act of great bravery.
To me, you're like a blooded human.
I used to be like you.
Think you can save everybody
and fix everything and...
Now I just pretend to be a good dude.
You still are one.
Are we friends?
Nah, Nick. We're not friends, man.
You don't want me as a friend.
Show me your fucking hands, Ward.
Whoa, Rodriguez, what are you doing?
Show me your fucking hands.
- Hey! I called you.
- Show me your fucking hands.
- Are you a part of this?
- Part of what?
All I know is I heard chatter on the radio
saying you killed a bunch of cops.
- Put your gun down. Listen, the guys...
- Shut the fuck up.
- Hey!
- Yo! Drop the weapon.
- Tikka, stop. All right. Relax.
- Drop the fucking weapon!
Drop it now!
- Rodriguez. Listen to me.
- Get away from the gun!
Listen!
The guys on our watch tried to do us
over a Wand.
We have a Wand.
We have a Magic Wand.
- All right, show me the Wand.
- Don't show him shit.
- He's gonna shoot us and take it.
- Slow.
Jakoby!
Shit.
Okay, first thing we gotta do
is keep that away from the bad guys.
- I'm gonna make a phone call. Put it down.
- All right.
- Put it down. Now step back!
- Rodriguez...
Step the... God damn it!
What the fuck? Is that an Elf?
- Rodriguez, put the phone down.
- Step the fuck back!
- Put your phone down.
- I'm calling the feds.
- It's what we're supposed to do.
- Listen to me.
- Chill. Chill. Chill.
- Listen. We don't know who's dirty.
- Rodriguez, put the phone down.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Put the phone do...
- Hold on!
Don't tell 'em shit.
I got a deputy claiming to have the Wand.
Yes?
They wanna know where we're at.
Give me the phone.
Give me the phone.
Who is this?
Who's this?
The motherfucker with the Wand.
You called us. Where are you?
All right, look...
I got the Wand, but I need something.
- You need forgiveness.
- If I give you this Wand.
And let's just say...
I don't know, somebody accused me of,
uh, some dumb shit, like...
killing a bunch of cops.
A man like you could fix that shit, right?
If you were protecting a weapon of magic
from, let's say, corrupt individuals...
there would be no charges.
That's exactly what happened.
Hypothetically.
A man like you could dead that noise,
right?
- Do you have the Elf girl?
- Yeah.
Yo.
- Can only narrow it down to a few blocks.
- Okay.
Come on, let's go! Move out! Move out!
- The phone died.
- Shit.
- All right, look...
- Okay. No, hold the... Hold the fuck up.
- Hey, Rodriguez...
- Have to cuff your partner.
- Nobody's handcuffing anybody.
- It doesn't look good.
A fucking Orc and a bunch of dead cops?
All right.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
I'm just being real with you, man.
They want it to be Jakoby.
Okay? Whether it's him or not.
If he's not cuffed
by the time they get here,
they're gonna smoke
both of you motherfuckers.
- Cuff your partner.
- Don't...
- Ward, it's okay.
- Don't reach on me like that.
We can't run all night.
Let's do it.
It's time to end this.
Let's go in.
Take my gun.
Turn around.
Hey, Ward...
I can't go to prison.
They'll skin me alive.
You're not going to jail.
You didn't do shit.
I shot everybody.
Ward, shut the fuck up and lawyer up.
Aah!
Get inside! Get inside! Go!
Shit. What was that?
Good girl. Let me out. Let me out.
You see anything?
- No, I can't see anything.
- Sir, get away from that window!
Oh, shit! Move! Come on!
Traitor.
Oh, shit, shit.
Get me out. Get me out.
Get me out!
Oh, God.
Oh, shit.
I told you Orcs hold grudges.
Huh? What'd I say?
All right, look. I'm gonna cut you a break
on the reckless driving.
But I need you to return to your vehicles
and drive home safely.
So I need you to take your fat
Shrek-looking ass
back to your vehicle
and drive the fuck home to Fiona. A'ight?
- Do you wanna go to jail?
- Fiona?
Tell these dickheads in Orkish
to get the fuck back in their vehicles
and drive home,
- or they're all going to jail.
- But... they speak English.
But... You understand, right?
Speak English?
Yeah. Of course.
Take 'em to the church!
You know...
I'm not from here.
I grew up in Miami.
Great Orc communities there,
strong Orc communities.
We'd have block parties
with dwarves and humans.
It was fucking fun, man.
I wasn't in the game then.
I was a bus driver.
Then I moved to LA.
Fucking City of Angels, right?
Listen, I would really appreciate it
if you gave me the respect
of looking at me when I'm talking to you.
I get here and I see
how broke the system is.
Orcs caught between the police
and the gangsters.
Elves making money off us.
- So I organize...
- Tikka.
...my community.
We got our own thing now.
Every month...
- Look at me, motherfucker.
- Sorry.
Every month...
I throw a big party.
Get everyone drunk, feed 'em.
All races...
partying together, with one rule.
No guns.
After years of peace...
who brings in the guns?
We did, yeah.
- The drama?
- Us.
Disrespects our celebration?
The motherfucking police!
An unblooded Orc.
Grew up with humans. Never had a hand
raised for him in respect.
What's he saying?
- Playing the nice guy.
- Nothing I haven't heard before.
Your buddy's so happy to say
he's got a Orc friend.
Shit. I'm stuck with this motherfucker.
- Seriously?
- I'm just saying,
ain't like we's stomping
through the club together.
Ward.
Where is the Wand?
What Wand?
- Hey, man, we're family.
- Hey, Nick.
He's just trying to get in your head.
Don't let him in your head.
I'm not trying to get in his head, man.
I'm in his soul.
We're the same thing.
- I'll tell you where the Wand is.
- Yeah?
It's up your fucking ass.
Where's the Wand?
Whip these motherfuckers.
Get them!
Don't hurt 'em.
Pussy.
Roundtooth.
False Orc.
Unblooded coward.
Where is the Wand?
What... What Wand?
You motherfucking dickhead!
Where is the Wand?
What Wa... Wand?
There's no Wand!
Altamira thinks there's a Wand.
The police think there's a Wand.
The feds think there's a Wand.
I think there's a Wand!
There's no Wand.
Ghetto Fairy tales.
Bring me the Elf.
I will cover you with her hot blood.
She don't have shit to do with this.
Where is the Wand?
We are police off...
officers.
And you can't do this to us.
Kill them!
Watch your friends die, Elf.
You didn't break.
You deserve to be blooded.
You would have made a great Orc.
I am... a great Orc.
My son earns his colors tonight.
Mikey.
Bye, partner.
Why are you waiting?
Father... I know him.
Ward...
He helped me escape from the police.
That's the guy...
that I let go.
He saved my life. I cannot kill him.
Go home.
You can't be here.
Fuck you, you green pig-nose
piece of shit.
Shoot, bitch.
- Beg for it! Beg!
- Shoot me, bitch. Shoot, bitch!
Fuck you.
- Show your respect!
- Fuck you! Do it! Shoot!
- Shoot, motherfucker! Bring it!
- Give us respect! Here it comes!
This is a Prophecy, for he has risen.
Hey, hey.
W- Ward?
What happened?
Uh... Nothing. Why?
Well, something happened. I feel great.
Uh...
- Nah, just go, go, go.
- Okay.
You're a Bright?
You're a fucking Bright?
Would've been nice to know that
when we was getting fucked up.
Could've had a magic helicopter
take us somewhere.
I only started my training.
I only know a few spell words.
She speaks English pretty good now, too.
- Now I trust you.
- Um...
You gonna need to unfuck this, okay?
A'ight? You gonna magic us to Palm Springs
or some shit.
I saved your friend's life.
Isn't that enough?
It's a start, but...
Uh, Ward, stop.
I happen to think it's a pretty big deal.
Thank you.
Now, Tikka, who are these Elves
who are hunting us?
They're aiding the return
of the Dark Lord...
so he can slaughter billions
and enslave the survivors
to serve him in a new age of magic.
Oh. That's all.
Just some Illuminati shit.
They're Inferni.
They destroyed the Illuminati
a hundred years ago.
How do you know all this?
I, too, am Inferni.
But I escaped.
The Shield of Light hid me.
Leilah gave an assassin her Wand
to kill me.
But I got the Wand from her.
Keep it away from Leilah.
She mustn't get her Wand back.
With it,
she can restore the Dark Lord to power.
Hey, what is that? What's the shit?
What's the black stuff?
Hey. Look... All right.
All right, hey, look,
don't-don't-don't check out on us.
Keep it away from her.
Keep the Wand away from Leilah.
- Promise me.
- Yes.
All right. She needs medical attention.
We gotta get her to an emergency room.
But how?
Got it. Let's go!
Go, go!
We won't let you die.
How do we save you?
Only the Shield of Light can help me.
Where are they?
Home.
- Home.
- Home? Where's home?
Wait, home.
Uh... the Abrams' house?
Everybody was dead there.
There's a pool.
The pools are... connected like...
the roots of a holy tree.
Ward, she's dying. We have to take her
back to where we found her.
- No. We are not going back to that house.
- Yes.
We're gonna get to the hospital.
There's doctors there.
We're gonna turn her and the Wand
over to the feds.
- Ward. Ward.
- I want my life back.
She brought me back from the dead.
Hey, don't kook out on me right now,
all right?
We don't know exactly what happened.
You have to accept the miracle.
- We're not going back to that house.
- You and me are simple people.
We mean nothing.
People don't write about us.
But this, don't you see,
is like a time of heroes?
Jirak was unblooded like me.
An Orc that nobody cared about.
He...
He united the Nine Armies,
and they defeated the Dark Lord. He...
He was a farmer who changed the world.
They raised their blades to him.
He was blooded in that very moment.
He fulfilled a great Prophecy, Ward.
I think we might be in a Prophecy.
- We're not in a Prophecy, all right?
- How do you know?
We're in a stolen Toyota Corolla.
- No.
- Okay? Look at my face.
All right? This is not a Prophecy face.
This is a bad-night face.
Okay? And we're gonna get to the hospital,
and the feds are gonna put an end to it.
Shut the fuck up, Ward, and listen to me.
We have to go back.
There's nothing ahead of us.
Ah, man. These guys are feds.
Oh, shit.
I get the big gun.
Ah.
I didn't mind having the big gun.
That... That's a bomb.
Yes, it is.
- You want me to hold it?
- Yes, I do.
W... Why?
You never know.
I sit before you, Lord of Darkness.
Serving your will is my honor.
I will return you to this world.
They're coming!
There! In the wall!
Shoot through the wall!
Ward!
Nick!
Nick! Let's go!
Jakoby!
I gave her the bomb.
You never know.
Swipe left.
Oh, shit.
Shoot her!
Shoot her!
Nick, will you please shoot her!
Shoot! Shoot her!
Good work.
The water. Put me in the water.
Hey. You're done. I got it from here.
So what now?
Have faith.
She's coming.
Nick!
The hell are you?
I'm a warrior.
A priestess, a lover.
I am whatever my Lord needs me to be.
Come home.
Please, come home.
I can't go back.
Dream with me again.
What you love is broken, rotten.
This man and the Orc...
...what are they to you?
- They're good.
- No.
It's time to come home.
It's time to come home.
- It's too late. I can't come home.
- It's time to wake up.
So just shut up and kill me.
Just shut up and kill me!
- This is not you!
- Shut up and kill me!
This is not you! This is you!
What have you done to my sister?
What have you done to her?
What did you do?
Shit.
Nick, if you were aiming at the Wand,
that was a really good shot.
But shoot her in her head!
Like this?
I can't.
I'm out.
No!
You're not a Bright.
You touch my Wand...
and it will splatter you
all over the walls.
I think that's kind of the plan.
Think I'mma just kill us all.
Ward...
I wouldn't do that.
It's all right.
We're in a Prophecy, right?
Oh... Oh!
This is impossible.
Hey, Nick, I got the Wand.
Um, what now?
Maybe you're a... You're a Bright, Ward.
Use it!
Oh, good idea.
Give it to me...
or she dies.
Vykwarus.
The war word is Vykwarus.
Vykwarus!
We got a Bright in there!
Aah!
Tikka. Tikka.
- Tikka!
- Ward! It's okay.
- She just... She rolled in.
- Come on, Ward!
- She's gone. It's okay.
- I didn't hurt her.
- Tikka!
- Ward, Tikka's okay.
She's gone.
- Tikka!
- Ward, think of Sophia.
Come on, Ward!
Orc!
Stand down.
Stand down.
Ward!
Ward!
No!
Daryl!
You're safe now.
Ward!
Daryl!
Ward!
Ward!
I know. I gotcha.
Got him!
Ward! We made it!
We got out!
I got you. You're okay.
Are you okay?
Breathe, Ward.
Say something.
Nick... look.
Oh.
Still not my friend.
I never really liked you anyway.
Think you're a big dog
now you're blooded, huh?
Yeah, pretty big.
Hey, Nick.
Yeah.
Fuck magic.
Well, I don't know.
I still think it's kinda cool.
How you doing, fellas?
- Good?
- Hey.
Nick, the firemen are here.
- We should've been firemen.
- Yeah.
Hey, can I get a aspirin?
Hey, Clan Blood.
Daryl.
Oh, Daryl.
How are you feeling?
You feeling okay?
Uh, yeah.
Okay, I get it.
Oh, shit.
Well, that can't be good.
Yeah.
Why you not locked up?
I think they think
you're more dangerous than me.
Hey.
Don't say shit.
- Sir, we were just responding to a call.
- Mmm.
My partner and I, we...
But there was all this crazy magic stuff.
I mean, everything that happened
with Brown...
- Hey, hey, hey.
- ...and Hicks and Pollard and Ching...
- They wanted Officer Ward to shoot me.
- Hey. Nick.
They wanted to him to kill me
so they could get the Wand, remember?
And he wouldn't do it
'cause he's a stand-up guy.
He wouldn't do it. But then they said
they would kill me, so he...
he had to take action,
- like, with his gun, right?
- No. That's not my recollection.
Hey, Nick, why don't you just...
If you hold up a second...
- What?
- ...they'll ask us questions.
It's what happened, I swear to God.
We just returned to the call.
But there are forces at play
that are beyond.
- There was, uh, an Elf woman.
- Hey, Nick.
She owned the Wand. Right?
It must've been hers. Not a nice lady.
Dressed very well, but... Like you.
But she was a terrible woman. She...
- Uh, she served the Dark Lord.
- Nick...
- I know it.
- Let them...
- Let them ask us questions.
- They need to know this.
- Let him ask us questions.
- There was an Angel.
All right. That was then
when the gangsters were chasing us.
- Uh, the context is a little off.
- Tikka.
Oh, Tikka.
So sad. Tikka...
Tikka was a young Bright.
She... She... She...
She... She used the Wand
and she saved my life.
I was... My soul was leaving my body,
and she brought me back.
Officer Ward?
We responded to a 415 disturbance call.
Uh, upon approaching the residence,
we realized that it was a safe house
- for an extremist group.
- Full of weird...
We immediately took fire,
uh, at which point we called for backup.
And... unfortunately...
- officers were killed in the exchange.
- I've never seen shooting like it.
He turned around, sight unseen,
four of them, bang, bang, bang, bang.
Dropped...
like it was one bullet.
Sorry, keep going.
Gangsters showed up,
and it just went really sideways
from that point.
And had you guys not shown up...
it would've... it would've been really bad.
Uh, so the real heroes in this
are you guys.
So we wanna say thank you.
Nick, thank the nice federal agents.
Thank you.
So, let me say, unequivocally...
there was no Wand.
And there was no magic.
Just a couple of street cops...
doing our job.
Oh, I know what this is.
Then that's what happened?
Yes, sir. That's exactly what happened.
Yes?
No, I'm with him.
Unequivocally.
Faced with armed terrorists obsessed
with myths from thousands of years ago,
two of our officers held the line.
I hate seeing those scumbags
up there with Rodriguez.
Let it go, Ward.
We know, okay? That's enough.
Officer Daryl Ward, and our nation's first
Orkish police officer, Nicholas Jakoby.
Officer Jakoby.
Congratulations, Ward.
Ward.
Red sauce? Green sauce?
Babe, you up?
It's after noon, you gotta get up.
I made some coffee, come on.
There he is.
- Morning.
- Afternoon.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hi.
- Coffee.
- I know.
What the hell's this in my...
- What's that shit in there?
- What?
- Whoops.
- Yeah.
Ran out of coffee filters,
had to use a napkin.
- It'll be fine.
- I'll just chew that up next time.
Oh, come on.
Why is the Fairy in the bird feeder again?
- I... I thought...
- You told me that you killed it.
All right, I'm gonna be honest with you.
All right?
- Please.
- I don't fuck with no Fairies.
You need to fuck with that one.
When I was little, my cousin DayDay
was throwing rocks at this Fairy.
- The Fairy shit in his own hand...
- Uh-huh.
...threw the shit,
and it went in DayDay's eye,
and it was like a fucking cantaloupe.
- Bullshit story.
- No, he almost lost his eye.
- I'm telling you. Listen...
- That's not true.
$200. Pay the man.
Same man that does the bees.
No, I'm not paying $200.
I got this big, handsome, strapping man
standing right in front of me.
Go kill that Fairy, please.
Thank you so much.
I'll kill the Fairy.
Let me finish my coffee.
- I'mma kill the Fairy. All right?
- Okay.
That may kill you. You should do it
before you finish the coffee.
- How was work?
- Eh, work. Work is good, you know?
Just, a lot of stab wounds lately.
There's, uh...
We had this homeless guy come in,
throwing equipment everywhere.
It was wild.
A lot of traffic accidents,
- and this older guy, he coded out on me.
- What about that cop that's an Orc
that's now on the LAPD force?
- How does that work?
- He's not blooded.
He's not part of any blooded clan.
He's like a finger
that got cut off the hand.
He's dead to us.
This is shock trauma at its finest.
...and then you see the humans
and the Elves...
I don't want this guy in my car either.
Baby, I don't want you to get shot again.
Five years, I'm gonna retire.
But... I can't fuck up my pension.
All right? I mean,
that's my fucking worst nightmare.
You know what my worst nightmare is?
It's them wheeling you in
when I'm at work.
That's my nightmare.
Come on. Come here.
Fairy. Now.
Hey, y'all, I want y'all to trip off
my police-ass neighbor. He's a trip.
- Good afternoon, Officer.
- Hey. What up, Mike?
Yo, that Fairy been all up in my crib,
eating up my dog food and shit.
I'm about to call the city, man.
I am the city.
All right? You save your dime.
Fairy lives don't matter today.
Check this out, y'all.
This is probably gonna be good.
It's on now!
Ring the bell, y'all.
Oh!
Damn. Look at this nigga, man.
Oh, that's it right there.
Oh, you got it now. Take the homie out
LAPD-style like you do.
Oh!
You ain't gotta do him like that. Damn!
That was nasty.
- Man.
- Come on, G.
- It's what I do.
- Oh, shit.
Oh, and, uh, you keep doing
all your gangsta stuff.
I'm just trying to sell my house.
Don't worry about that.
Thanks for the show, Officer.
He's a trip. That motherfucker's crazy.
Got a fine-ass wife, too.
Are you in trouble?
Am I in trouble?
What your mother say to you?
Mom said that Nick got you in trouble
because Orcs are dumb.
That's not true, all right?
Orcs are not dumb.
Just, uh... All of the races
are-are different. Okay?
And just 'cause they're different
doesn't mean anybody's smarter
or dumber, you know,
better or worse than anybody.
All right? It's just-just...
You know, everybody's just trying
to get along and-and...
have a good life.
What the hell?
Hey, baby, you gotta take some clothes.
Get some clothes.
Fine.
Hey, hey!
Hey, partner.
Ready to get back to work? All healed up?
What the hell are you doing at my house?
Why are you at my house?
Why are you on my lawn?
Your lawn's dead, Ward.
Exactly. Which is why I seeded it
and spread cow shit everywhere
so it grows back.
That's not really cow shit.
- What do you mean it's not cow shit?
- It's sewage, from toilets.
From the treatment plant, swear to God.
I paid $400 for this.
- That's bullshit.
- Human shit.
- Why do you think I compost?
- Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.
You don't ever come here in that
ever again.
I was at diversity training. Your house
is on the way to the bar. I thought...
- Hi, Nick.
- Hey, Sophia. What's up, rock star?
We're gonna go to Grandma's.
- Grandma's? Hop in, we'll give you a ride.
- Shut up.
- This ain't no Uber, man.
- Don't tell Nick to shut up.
He's a person, too.
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
That's an enlightened kid you got there,
Daryl.
Don't worry about me.
Just Crip-walk your asses
on back to the barbecue.
Be nice to give you a ride...
- Shut up.
- ...on your first day back.
Lovely song.
There's Grandma.
Hey. Uh, I'm...
Okay. Good to see you.
Uh...
All right, baby. What's up?
What's happening? What's up?
Why you sad?
What happened?
I don't want you to die.
I'm not gonna die. What are you...
- What you talking about?
- Mama said Nick's gonna get you killed.
I don't know why she said...
Nick is not gonna get me killed,
all right?
Why do you have to be a policeman?
Everybody hates policemen.
Hey...
Know what?
You smell like you haven't slept.
I have melatonin in my war bag.
You take one before bed,
- turn off the laptop, get...
- Maybe I'm having trouble sleeping
because of the nightmares I'm having
from being blasted across the street
with a shotgun
while your ass was getting a burrito.
But I was getting a burrito for you.
- Yeah...
- I don't eat cow flesh.
Do you think that you could get a burrito
and do your job?
You think you could get a burrito
and watch my back
- like every other cop manages to do?
- Yes.
Look, I know... you're disappointed in me.
I know that you think that I let you down.
- Yeah. You know what?
- But I...
You know what? It's a new day.
Back to work. We hitting the reset button.
Copy that. Copy that.
We're hitting the reset button.
Moving forward together.
As friends, together.
We will not be listening
to no Orkish music.
That is one of the greatest love songs
ever written.
That's a love song in prison.
I believe that you're lacking in love,
Ward.
- I'm what?
- By love, I mean...
like... physical love.
Yeah. Um...
Right?
I'm straight. I don't need
no physical love. Trust me, I'm good.
You can't hide it, Ward.
Humans have physical tells.
- Tells, huh?
- Yeah.
- It's called a face.
- I ain't making no face.
- Like the face you're making right now.
- I ain't making no face.
All right.
What face am I making?
"A human who needs a lot more
conjugal love" type face.
"Conjugal love" face.
So you know human face...
Show me another human face.
- What's another one we make?
- Oh, uh...
- What's that face?
- Human who doesn't get anymore pancakes.
- We do like our pancakes, for real.
- I got a lot of 'em.
- You got a lot?
- I got a lot of them.
Show me the face an Orc makes
when he just shut the fuck up,
and don't say shit,
and just drive to work.
Yeah, that's it! That's it!
Oh, you got that one!
Yeah, you killing that one.
You should do that one.
Do that one, like, all the time.
Whoa. Whoa. Why you going this way?
It's fine, it's a shortcut.
See? They're very nice here.
Dude, you can't go through Elftown.
You are killing me. Killing me, dude.
So, what, you trying to...
get yourself some designer shoes?
Ain't nothing over here but rich-ass Elves
just running the world and shopping.
I hate Elftown.
Even the chauffeurs are snobs.
Hey. Back already, Ward?
Where's the, uh,
diversity hire you ride with?
Yeah, what kind of partner is Jakoby?
Is he your dance partner?
Your sexual partner?
'Cause he fucking sucks
at catching bad guys.
That's Clan Law shit, dog.
Orcs got each other's backs.
Hey, look, why y'all acting like
I put this dude in my car?
So what are you doing to get him
the fuck out of this division?
Hey, long as he pull his weight,
I ain't got no beef with him.
No. No, no, no. You could do shit, man.
You could write a letter.
His ass would be gone if we back you up.
That's a fact.
- But you only care about yourself, Ward.
- Right.
Did I... Did I ask you for advice?
'Cause I'll probably wait till I'm on my,
like, ninth divorce,
then your advice
will come in really handy.
That's good. That's fucking good. Noted.
Meanwhile, that Orc fuck
is still out there
because Jakoby chose clan blood
over the badge.
Or the motherfucker just got away.
He got away 'cause Jakoby let him.
What happens next?
What happens the next time
this pig motherfucker
makes a cop suck-start
his fucking 12-gauge?
Only this time, it's Brown,
or it's Hicks, or it's fucking me.
How you gonna feel, Ward?
'Cause that shit is on you.
Well, if you in the box,
I'll probably be like...
Ward, you son of a bitch.
Hey, look, I got a dude in my car,
the whole world is watching, all right?
I didn't ask for it, I don't want it,
but I don't get a vote.
And what happens if they hire more?
You know what they say.
Once with the Dark Lord,
always with the Dark Lord.
They chose evil.
Here's the thing I can't understand.
How do a bunch of dudes who can barely
remember their baby mama's birthday
have beef with a whole race
over some shit that happened
2,000 years ago?
Here's the fucking deal, man.
You keep Jakoby
the fuck away from me. Okay?
I'll drop an Orc. I don't give a fuck.
My ancestors killed them
by the fucking thousands in Russia.
- Attaboy, Ward!
- About time, Ward.
All right, settle down,
settle down. The captain's coming.
Ward, I saved you a seat.
Take it away, boss.
Ward, nice to see you back.
Cap.
- Tonight's the trifecta.
- Hey, is that your cousin?
Full moon, Friday night...
- No.
- ...summer heat wave.
Clear your calls fast,
help your colleagues clear theirs,
get me out of this deployment period
without another murder,
I'll buy you all coffee.
Sergeant Ching, all yours.
All right, after I call your name,
get your shotguns and radios and deploy.
I don't want to see you here
unless there's bad guys under the desks.
Three-Mary-25, Pollard.
Three-Mary-55, Kim.
Three-Mary-60, Thomas.
Three-A-21, Pippen and Gosser.
Three-A-54, Hancock and Wheeler.
Three-A-80, Crawford and Duncan.
Three-A-9, Jakoby and Ward.
- Three-A-34, Jones and Morengo.
- Hey, uh, hit the kit room.
- Three-A-82, Ortiz and Mencia...
- I'll meet you at the gas pumps.
- I'll be right down. I just need to...
- Okay.
Three-A-99...
- No.
- Yes. Put him in another car.
What the fuck about my demeanor
gives you the impression
that I want to be a target
on the department's Orc-diversity radar?
These decisions are made
nine miles above me.
No. They're made right on your paper,
right there.
Scratch him out.
Scratch his name out.
Put another name, anybody.
Ward, no one wants to ride with you.
Goodbye. Don't get shot again.
Good luck.
- Hey, looking good, bud.
- Looking real good. Real good.
Be safe, guys.
What's up, homies?
Your ass still alive?
You know something about that?
It wasn't me.
Get the fuck off of the street
or I'mma call your PO,
tell him you out drinking
with the homies.
I ain't gonna tell you two times.
Let's go.
I need to know if the shit pop off
with these Fogteeth fools
that you got my back,
that you a cop first.
Are we clear?
Clear.
I'm about dope, money, and guns.
That's my job.
Your job is to make sure
I go home at night.
- I don't like this small talk.
- This ain't no small talk.
This is big-ass talk.
We doing real shit out here.
All Westlake units,
three-A-4 is requesting assistance.
Sixth and Whitmore. Sixth and Whitmore.
All Westlake units, Three-A-4...
Get him the fuck on the ground!
Back the fuck up!
Stay there! Stay right fucking there!
- Do not resist! Don't...
- Shut the fuck up!
I need to know if you're a cop first...
or an Orc first.
- I need to hear you say it.
- Ward, I...
I wanted to be a cop
since I was a little kid.
I am nothing else.
My badge means more to me
than the air I breathe.
So don't question me.
Three-A-9, 415. Fifth and Westlake.
Code two, incident 2415.
Three-Adam-9. Roger, show us en route.
Three-A-9, roger.
The fuck outta here.
God damn it!
Rodriguez. Hey.
Oh, shit, man. I thought you were dead.
Nah, man, too many bills to pay.
I hear ya.
I thought you were out
having your, like, zillionth baby.
Ah, nah, man. Marisol's a week late.
We're inducing next week, though.
Number five.
- Five.
- Lot of mouths to feed.
Yeah, man.
Sir...
drop the sword.
You.
The Army of Nine Races
fought shoulder to shoulder
to give you the world you neglect.
- Hey, tell him to shut up.
- 2,000 years ago,
- we fought them with swords and arrows.
- Sir...
And now, the Dark One returns
to reclaim Orc hearts!
Everywhere I go, why have Orcs
always gotta be the bad guys?
Hey, don't look at me, man.
Mexicans still get shit for the Alamo.
Get back! Get back!
Sir, unless you wanna die,
you drop that sword right fucking now!
Hey, you got me shot,
don't get me stabbed.
Turn around, sir.
- Hands on your head.
- I'm doing it, man. Jeez.
- On your knees.
- I... All right.
Don't move.
Having a little fun.
Aah! Shit!
All right. Damn.
I'm not resisting, man.
Three-Adam-9, one in custody.
All units, code four.
Fifth and Westlake, suspect in custody.
Okay, man, easy. Gimme a... Gimme a... Ow!
- Hey.
- Hey.
Real quick.
Gang intel said Fogteeth's been smashing
like a motherfucker,
and Altamira's gangbanging like it's 1999.
- Watch your backs out there.
- Hey, you too.
- All right, brother.
- Kiss your family.
Sir, can you sit back?
You-You stink like shit. Can you sit back?
Thank you.
Come on.
That's bad.
I have a message
from the Shield of Light.
Remember the old ways.
Remember what you are.
Is that Orkish?
How the hell do you know
how to speak Orkish?
What'd he say?
Remember your traditions.
Only clan ways can save you.
The Prophecy has chosen you.
The man with you is blessed.
Jakoby!
Come on, man.
What the hell is your problem?
What'd he say?
He's not making any sense.
Where's Jakoby?
Uh, booking our body, ma'am.
Um, I love your hair.
Who are you?
I'm the unemployment line,
or a prison sentence.
I could be the Angel of Mercy,
but it's up to you, buddy.
Ah.
Internal Affairs.
That's right, all fucking day long.
Now, let's review, kids.
Some pigskin piece of shit puts a load
of buckshot into your trauma plate.
- Shithead foot-bails, Jakoby pursues...
- Hey!
Hey!
Police! Stop!
...corners his asshole in, what,
a dead-end alley?
Jakoby states dude tackled
and disarmed him.
Then jumped on a fire escape ladder
and evaded arrest.
Jakoby's signed statement.
Ladder's 13 feet off the ground.
We measured.
- Mm-hmm.
- No Orc has a six-foot vertical.
Perhaps the suspect
was light on his feet, sir.
Do Orcs have, uh, mad hops?
How many Orcs are ballers?
- Excuse me?
- You fuckin' heard the detective.
- How many Orcs play pro basketball?
- None.
They're slow, they're heavy.
That's why half the NFL
defensive lines are Orkish.
It's not racism, it's physics.
Jakoby kicked loose that pigskin fuck
who blasted you.
Do the math.
Orcs hold Clan Law above all else.
That's a fact.
The Jakoby issue is sensitive.
The world's watching.
- We can't fire him without cause.
- Which is why...
you're gonna get him to admit it...
and you're gonna record him.
The fuck outta here.
I want the guy out of my car, but...
I snitch, I'm done as a street cop.
We know, uh, you got a house note
you can't pay down.
Right? Drowning in debt.
Raising a little girl
you can't afford to pay for.
Mmm.
Father of the fucking year.
You talk about my family again,
I'll split your fucking head open.
Ward.
You need this job.
Don't throw it away for Jakoby.
Get off me. Get off me.
Give it to me.
No testifying...
no depositions,
no paperwork.
Good man.
Very smart.
Shave your mustache, bitch.
It's just business.
Place is a shithole.
An Orc with a badge.
Incredible.
That's some shit you don't see every day.
Like an Elf with a mop.
Did you see those two guys?
I think they're feds.
Could they be here for me?
Feds don't give a shit
about the LA Orc community.
Yeah, you're right.
S... So, my-my daughter...
um...
Sophia...
she be doing shit all the time, man,
that she don't have no business doing.
Um...
But... she comes clean.
She always tells the truth.
'Cause she realized it feels good.
Feels good to her, feels good to me.
And, uh, truth just has a way...
of clearing the air between people.
If it cleanses...
cleanses some shit, you know,
it's like, just tell the truth.
I know something very bad happened
at the station.
I know.
So are you gonna tell me about it or no?
I'm talking about you. All right?
Don't be trying to twist this.
Nothing happened at the...
- I'm not...
- ...trouble, 341 Abrams.
Code two, incident 2815.
Three-Adam-9, show us en route.
341 Abrams.
Three-A-9, roger.
How long you been in Shield of Light?
What's that?
God!
You little fuck-up.
Aah! Shit! What are you doing, man?
No questions, just shut up.
Hey, nice Shield of Light tattoo!
- Good one.
- You know who we are?
Housekeeping.
You might wanna look at this.
Fuck. Magic Task Force.
Right. The magic feds.
You know, Serling,
if you're gonna play stupid games,
you're gonna win stupid prizes.
Fuck you.
You wanna test me, asshole?
Okay! I'm not your enemy, man.
What do you know about the Inferni?
Um... they're Elves.
Renegade Elves.
Renegade Elves, sorry.
Because Elves are awesome, right?
They're gonna bring back the Dark Lord.
Fairy fucking tales.
How do they plan to do that?
When they get three Magic Wands,
they can raise him from the dead.
You recognize her?
That's Leilah.
She's an Inferni coven leader.
She's a Bright.
You ever notice how
most Brights are Elves,
and Elves run the world?
Coincidence?
There are human Brights.
One in a million.
But you know how you know
if you're a Bright?
When you touch a Wand...
with your bare hand...
and don't explode.
Would you do that?
Would you die to learn the truth
about yourself?
If I had a Wand... I'd try.
Let's get back on track.
So Leilah has a Magic Wand,
and she's coming after Tikka, right?
And she'll shred this city to do it.
We get Tikka,
we can set a trap for Leilah.
We hunt Wands, we hunt Brights.
That's what we do,
and we're pretty fucking good at it.
You wanna help us?
Come on.
The Dark Lord's coming.
What, are you gonna to fight him with,
with tanks?
Huh? You gonna drone him?
Two thousand years ago, magic stopped him.
And magic will stop him again.
One day, you all are gonna come begging
for our help.
And we'll be there. We'll stop him.
The Shield of Light will stop him.
I'm done.
We're done.
If you act like my enemy...
you become my enemy.
See that?
- Oh, it's a spotter.
- Mm-hmm.
Get down! Down! Go!
Oh. Yeah, that's... That's not good.
- Yeah.
- We could die.
- First time being shot at?
- Yeah.
I have to say, I dislike it very much.
Yeah, it fucking sucks.
All right, look... on three,
we're gonna dump this asshole.
All right?
- Right. That makes sense.
- Use force.
- All right.
- Yeah.
One, two, three.
- You all right?
- Hmm? Yeah.
- No holes?
- Huh? Uh...
Only the ones that I was born with.
How are your holes?
The fuck can you make
a shootout awkward?
Sorry.
Sorry.
Wait for the reload! All right?
- He's gonna have to reload.
- Reload.
Now!
Shit.
We got him.
Get the door. Get the door.
- Shouldn't we wait for the cavalry?
- We are the cavalry.
Ward, can't we wait for backup? Ward.
Go, go, go.
I smell blood, Ward.
Lots of blood.
- What's that?
- Don't know.
Oh, shit.
- Body. Body.
- What?
Shit. Shit.
Cover the hall.
- What the fuck is that?
- Cover the hall.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
Don't touch anything.
Yeah.
- Body.
- Wh...?
That's our shooter, he's down.
Someone's in here. I can smell them.
These people died so bad.
Clear.
Something unusual has happened here.
Three-Adam-9, 341 Abrams.
Possible Bright at our location.
Request additional units and a supervisor.
Possible magic-user on scene.
Hey! Freeze!
You! Wait, stop!
Hey! Hey!
Stop running!
- Hold her, hold her!
- Stop! Stop! Stop!
What has she got?
What is that? What is that?
Go get the homies.
Put it down or I'm gonna shoot you
in your face!
Is that...?
It's a Magic Wand.
Who, uh...
Who are you?
Please protect me.
She's speaking Elvish.
I don't speak Elvish.
Well, I took two yearsin high school,
but, uh...
She said somebody's coming.
Please protect me and the Wand.
As far as I can tell, a Bright came in,
used the Wand, and...
magicked everybody the fuck up. Uh...
We need to evacuate this neighborhood,
secure the scene,
hold the perimeter till the feds get here.
What the fuck are you, new?
- This is way above our pay grade.
- That's magic right there.
That's whatever you want.
You want a million dollars?
You want ten million?
You wanna be taller or shorter?
Make your dick bigger?
You wanna go back in time, marry the girl
who didn't blow you on prom night?
That's how you do it, right there.
Well, clearly,
we had different prom nights.
But that is a Magic Wand,
and you don't know how to use it.
And you're gonna kill us all trying.
Only a Bright can use a Wand,
and you don't look like a wizard to me.
Don't put your hands on that Wand.
- Hey, don't touch the Wand.
- I got it.
Don't touch it.
Hey, hey, hey. Don't be...
Fucking ice cold.
- All right, you're not stealing that Wand.
- Nobody's coming, Ward.
Whoa. Hey...
Fuck is you squaring off on, bitch?
Hey, Sarge,
you need to talk to your boys right now.
You need this just as much as we do,
maybe more.
Your family depends on you.
Don't you wanna be there for them?
What about Jakoby?
Can you tell me your name?
- Tikka.
- Tikka.
My name is Tikka.
We have to leave before she comes.
Before who comes?
It's not happening.
No. No.
Pollard, he's spinning.
- No, he's not spinning worth shit.
- He's fine, he's fine.
- This is stupid.
- Calm down.
- Hey, fucking chill. He's fine.
- Back up.
- He's fin... Hey, hey!
- The fuck you gonna do?
Calm down. Fucking calm down.
Back the fuck up.
Back the fuck up. Listen. Listen.
This is happening.
- This is fucking happening.
- Fuck off of me.
All right?
- Fuck.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
There's no version of you walking out
of here with life as you know it intact.
Fuck this. We are taking the Wand,
and the Orc dies.
And you got a big decision right now.
Either your little girl grows up
without a daddy and Jakoby dies,
or just Jakoby dies.
And it is time to make a choice.
You or him, Ward. You or him.
Is tomorrow's LA Times gonna say
one cop died here, or two?
Yeah, there it is.
He just caught up to it.
Everyone wins.
Department gets rid of Jakoby,
he dies a hero, public's happy.
This report writes itself.
The perfect storm, bro.
It's the perfect storm.
You okay?
Hey. Take Sophia,
get out of town right now.
What? Why?
Get out of town right now. I love you.
Ward, where is everyone?
We haven't even set a perimeter.
I'm pretty certain that pee-wee gangster
saw the Wand.
And she is spooked.
Says somebody's coming.
Like... Like, someone bad.
But what's...?
You seem like you-you have
bigger troubles.
You let the shooter go, didn't you?
'Cause he was clan blood?
Now? You wanna fucking go through this
right now?
What else you lie about, pigface?
Don't put your fucking hands on me!
You fucked me.
You fucked us both.
Pigskin piece of shit.
You fucked my whole life
over some stupid Orc knucklehead.
Fuck you, Ward.
Fuck off.
- What...?
- I dare you.
I dare you to pull your gun. Please.
Go ahead.
I will fuck you up in a gunfight.
I gave you plenty of time
to talk about this shit.
- Karma is a bitch, and here it come.
- I let him go.
So what's the real plan?
Two cops die tonight.
What about the Elf?
I'll kill her.
- You good?
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah.
- Sarge?
You see my teeth? They're filed.
I'm not blooded, my father's not blooded,
his father's not blooded.
I've been shit on by Orcs
my whole fucking life.
Huh? You know what that feels like,
when your own people hate you?
Why'd you lie, Nick?
It wasn't clan politics.
I just had the wrong guy.
Oh.
Story time?
The guy that shot you,
I lost him in the crowd.
I circled back, and I thought I had
that fucking guy dead to rights.
But it was a different kid.
He was just tagging.
And the troops are coming.
Jacked-up humans with guns
looking for an Orc who'd shot a cop.
You think that kid had a chance?
Go, go, go!
They would've dropped him on the spot,
so I did the right thing.
- Code four.
- Clear.
You never saw his face. How'd you know
it wasn't the motherfucker that shot me?
His fucking smell.
Yeah, years of evolution haven't
taken away our sense of smell.
And he smelled different.
- What human jury would believe me?
- What, he have Axe body spray?
Yeah, see, this is what
I have to fucking deal with.
The Orc that shot you...
- got away.
- Ward!
It's time.
"It's... time"?
Time for... Time for what?
All four of 'em standing there?
- Yeah.
- Your left to right, who is it?
Brown, Hicks, Pollard, and Ching.
What's going on, Ward?
Don't, don't, don't, don't...
Don't.
Partner, no!
Drop it, or I will fucking kill you.
Hey, listen to me.
This isn't like you.
All right, calm down.
- I know it looks bad.
- Shut up. Shut up, show me your hands.
- I didn't have a choice, Nick.
- Shut up.
Now turn back around!
What's your plan?
I'm...
I'm gonna arrest you, so... so shut up!
First of all, stop telling me to shut up.
Second, I need you to shut up
- and listen to me.
- Shut up!
Turn around! Get on your fucking knees!
Gonna have to fuckin' kill me if you think
you're gonna put me in handcuffs.
Ward...
Three-Adam-9.
I got four officers down,
one officer conscious and breathing.
Three officers...
KMA.
All units,
officer needs help, 341 Abrams.
Officer needs help, 341 Abrams.
- Roger on the RA.
- Oh, this is bad.
This is so bad.
Put your big girl panties on.
They were gonna kill us...
over that Wand, all right?
They were acting crazy.
Don't you say a word.
Not to me, not to anybody.
Jakoby?
Jakoby, who are these people?
Oh, shit. Put her in the truck.
Put her in the truck.
Keep the Wand safe!
Motherfucker, what?
Protect the Wand.
Those cops there... they okay?
That's a lot of blood, homes.
That ain't none of your concern.
Maybe you should go over and give 'em
a little mouth-to-mouth. Huh?
This is an active crime scene.
We ain't never had no beef, Poison.
Why don't you take your people home.
Word on the street,
there's a Wand in this hood.
Where's it at, man?
- My hood.
- Altamira.
Alta-fucking-mira, eh?
That's right.
So, when the little homies tell
that the cops are shooting each other
in my hood...
makes me wonder. Hmm?
Where's the Wand?
Ghetto rumors, homie.
Don't wanna get shot in your face
over a rumor, do you?
Why don't you go head home?
The Wand belongs to the people.
- To the barrio.
- Get back!
Homeboy.
- You heard me.
- Smooth.
It's mine...
if I have to kill every fucking cop in LA.
You're gonna get your chance,
'cause SWAT is about 90 seconds out.
Nick, get in the truck.
Get in the fucking truck, Nick!
- Listen to your master. Get in the truck.
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you, homie.
- Fuck you.
What is that,
a fuckin' Labradoodle you dipped in ink?
- Messed with puerco, homie.
- Fucking ugly-ass motherfucker.
Looks like apuerco to me.
Get me that Wand.
Windows up, bulletproof.
- Is a SWAT team coming?
- No, Nick. Go. Go!
- Wrong way, Nick.
- Yeah, well, someone was on the car.
Come back, you motherfucker!
Bulletproof, dickhead.
Go, go, go, go!
Let's get the fuck outta here.
Drive like you stole it.
Altamira gang, homie.
Let's get these motherfuckers.
Go! Go!
Drive straight, not sideways!
Shit, I'm out.
- Shit.
- Butterfingers.
We were doing so good.
They don't teach that at the academy.
No, they do not.
We have to turn back.
Stop the car. Inferni!
- Inferni! Inferni!
- Relax, relax.
- The hell is she saying?
- She won't let it go!
Oh, shit!
What's happening? Hey!
Hey, shut up! Shut up! What is that?
Shut up!
- The fuck?
- Problem?
Tech services is flagging
some weird-ass cell phone inter...
Talking about a Magic Wand.
Help me. Help.
Larika.
Oh...
Leilah. The traitor escaped.
She has your Wand.
I got blood in my eye.
What the fuck did we hit?
Oh, that was the Wand.
You know what a binding spell is?
It stops it from getting too far away
from its owner.
Pulls it back.
Owner? Who owns a Wand?
A Bright.
Please, sir.
Tell me what happened.
Tell me.
Cops started shooting at each other,
and a black cop killed them all.
He left with an Orc cop and an Elf girl.
An Elf?
No! No!
Okay, you know what?
You need to sit your crazy ass down.
Look, half of our division is on some
old-school Rampart shit, a'ight?
They're gonna kill you first,
then they're gonna kill me,
they're gonna take the Wand,
and that's when the stupid shit's
gonna start.
And by the way, that's only
if the gangstas don't get it first.
And that's when the triple stupid shit's
gonna start.
We gotta get out of this neighborhood.
Yeah, but the Wand is gonna stop us.
The binding spell is gonna stop us.
We'll hide the Wand.
We'll hide it here
and come back and get it.
I am not abandoning the Wand.
- We are not the fucking Wand police.
- You want bodies on the street? Huh?
All of LA on fire?
This is like a nuclear weapon
that grants wishes.
No. The feds have people
that deal with magic.
- We call them. We ask...
- You wanna call the feds?
I got bodies on my gun, remember?
Yeah, well, don't look at me,
I just let an Orc go.
Really, Nick?
Really?
That was irony.
- No, that's just being an asshole.
- Oh.
Gonna call Rodriguez.
He's a sheriff, he's not LAPD.
- He's solid as fuck. We can trust him.
- That's a good idea.
Shh, shh.
- They're coming for the Wand.
- Ah, shit.
- What is it?
- The lock.
We left the lock outside on the ground.
Go.
Partner, look out!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
Let's go! Let's go!
Nick, let's go.
Come on, let's go!
What is your problem?
Wait! I dropped the Wand.
Don't you fucking touch that!
Where did they all go?
I think we're breathing 'em.
- Hey, do me a favor.
- Uh-huh?
Don't drop that shit no more.
What? No.
Why would I?
Ah, shit! Ah!
Ward...
I shot a human. Did you see?
Yeah, I'll get you some ice cream later.
Damn.
- I'm hit.
- What?
They're not gonna stop.
They're gonna keep coming. Let's go.
What are you doing here?
You fucking traitor.
Keep walking.
Tikka!
Where's Tikka?
Tikka!
On my back! Get on my back!
Get those fucking cops.
Tikka!
Ward?
Ward!
You want some of this?
I found Tikka. Let's go!
Tikka! Get down!
Ward, this way!
- Execute.
- Sir.
- Move! Let's go! Move!
- Confirmed use of magic.
She's Inferni.
What a shitshow.
You want to, uh, unpack this for me, boss?
Leilah.
Leilah was here.
What are you talking about?
She was sent to kill Tikka,
- then Tikka did that.
- She wants her Wand back, right?
- Yes.
- And Tikka has it.
- Yes.
- And those cops she ran off with, uh...
Ward and...
What? Jakoby.
The Orc cop we saw at the station.
They have no idea who Tikka is.
It's been 20 years.
What does that even mean?
Twenty years I've been hunting Leilah.
Without her Wand...
she's vulnerable.
Now's a bad time to go shopping, Ward.
Everybody's looking for two cops.
We gotta switch it up.
Oh, yeah.
Running through a Fogteeth party
is not good community policing.
Yeah, well, we're alive,
and we got the Wand.
Orcs hold grudges. That's all I'm saying.
Tell me about it.
Hey, follow me. Let's go.
Tikka.
- Oh, thank you, ma'am.
- Go.
- That's good.
- Thank you.
Take your old lady,
get the fuck outta here. Go. Go.
I need you to get the fuck outta here.
All right? Go.
Jesus.
Whoo!
Seven dudes with choppers
down the right, five down the left.
Bunch of motherfuckers in the middle.
Officer Ward...
I think we need to talk.
Hey, Poison, how you doing?
Some fucked-up shit went down tonight.
My homieswanna cut your fucking head off,
the cops wanna cut your fucking head off,
the Fogteeth gang
wanna cut your fucking head off.
Yeah, I got that effect on people, Poison.
Imagine how my old lady feels.
Me? I just wanna protect you.
Mmm.
Get you home safe and sound,
with all your sins forgiven.
But you gotta give me that Wand.
You wanna do the right thing?
Help me walk again.
Help me make love to my old lady again.
Help me get rid of this shit again.
Give me the fucking Wand, or I will nail
every door in this place shut
and burn this place down
to the fucking ground.
And then I will pick up the Wand
from the ashes, and I will laugh.
Chopping it up with the homie for a sec,
Poison.
I'm running out of patience, Officer Ward.
- Let's give this motherfucker the Wand.
- What?
Look, we gonna get
everybody in here killed,
and then he's gonna
take the damn Wand anyway.
I'm not giving that guy the Wand.
Over my dead body.
He's gonna have to kill me first.
So you wanna die in a gunfight
in a nasty-ass titty bar?
That's what you want?
I don't wanna die anywhere.
You know what? Now I do. Fuck it.
I wanna die. Let's do it right now.
We gonna titty-bar-gunfight die.
Let's do it right here, right now. Ready?
I just wish your dumb ass
was a better shot.
- What she say?
- She says the devil is coming.
The devil's ass is out there
in that wheelchair.
- Let's go. On three. One...
- Let's do it.
- ...two... three.
- Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Go, go, go!
Go! Go, go, go!
Move!
- Go, go, go!
- Go, go, go!
Hurry!
LAPD!
- Oh, fuck. Come on!
- Who is she?
Inferni! She wants her Wand.
Move!
I'm not a cop after tonight, am I?
No. Neither am I.
I think we should probably spend our time
- just trying to survive this shit.
- Survive?
Being a cop is all I've got.
Right now I'm still a cop,
and if I die tonight,
I'll be a cop forever. I'll be a...
I'll be a hero forever.
Why the fuck do you wanna die for a world
that doesn't give a shit about you?
Orcs chose the wrong side a long time ago
and they've been paying for it ever since.
You know, when an Orc sees me...
they see a man... a wannabee human.
When humans see me, they see an animal.
They hate me.
They don't hate you.
We know when people like us
and when they don't.
Like you, Ward.
When you came out of that house
with pure hatred in your eyes.
Pure... hatred.
Look, I told you what that was, all right?
Why didn't you tell me the truth
about helping the Orc kid?
I'm not saying it would've changed...
anything, but, shit, it might have.
I got confused.
And with humans, you understand,
everything is so definite.
Like, you say something,
and all of a sudden it's law,
and you can't walk it back.
You gotta tell me...
if I'm supposed to be your partner.
I don't care what we'll say to them,
but you gotta tell me the truth.
You can't lie to me.
Oh, so I'm supposed to trust you
when you don't trust me?
That's a good point.
You're a good cop.
And people are really hard on you, so...
you're really hard on yourself.
Come on, crazy.
Ward, do you know that you are
who I wish I was?
You're fearless.
You always know what to do.
What you did tonight,
that's what it takes for an Orc
to get blooded.
An act of great bravery.
To me, you're like a blooded human.
I used to be like you.
Think you can save everybody
and fix everything and...
Now I just pretend to be a good dude.
You still are one.
Are we friends?
Nah, Nick. We're not friends, man.
You don't want me as a friend.
Show me your fucking hands, Ward.
Whoa, Rodriguez, what are you doing?
Show me your fucking hands.
- Hey! I called you.
- Show me your fucking hands.
- Are you a part of this?
- Part of what?
All I know is I heard chatter on the radio
saying you killed a bunch of cops.
- Put your gun down. Listen, the guys...
- Shut the fuck up.
- Hey!
- Yo! Drop the weapon.
- Tikka, stop. All right. Relax.
- Drop the fucking weapon!
Drop it now!
- Rodriguez. Listen to me.
- Get away from the gun!
Listen!
The guys on our watch tried to do us
over a Wand.
We have a Wand.
We have a Magic Wand.
- All right, show me the Wand.
- Don't show him shit.
- He's gonna shoot us and take it.
- Slow.
Jakoby!
Shit.
Okay, first thing we gotta do
is keep that away from the bad guys.
- I'm gonna make a phone call. Put it down.
- All right.
- Put it down. Now step back!
- Rodriguez...
Step the... God damn it!
What the fuck? Is that an Elf?
- Rodriguez, put the phone down.
- Step the fuck back!
- Put your phone down.
- I'm calling the feds.
- It's what we're supposed to do.
- Listen to me.
- Chill. Chill. Chill.
- Listen. We don't know who's dirty.
- Rodriguez, put the phone down.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Put the phone do...
- Hold on!
Don't tell 'em shit.
I got a deputy claiming to have the Wand.
Yes?
They wanna know where we're at.
Give me the phone.
Give me the phone.
Who is this?
Who's this?
The motherfucker with the Wand.
You called us. Where are you?
All right, look...
I got the Wand, but I need something.
- You need forgiveness.
- If I give you this Wand.
And let's just say...
I don't know, somebody accused me of,
uh, some dumb shit, like...
killing a bunch of cops.
A man like you could fix that shit, right?
If you were protecting a weapon of magic
from, let's say, corrupt individuals...
there would be no charges.
That's exactly what happened.
Hypothetically.
A man like you could dead that noise,
right?
- Do you have the Elf girl?
- Yeah.
Yo.
- Can only narrow it down to a few blocks.
- Okay.
Come on, let's go! Move out! Move out!
- The phone died.
- Shit.
- All right, look...
- Okay. No, hold the... Hold the fuck up.
- Hey, Rodriguez...
- Have to cuff your partner.
- Nobody's handcuffing anybody.
- It doesn't look good.
A fucking Orc and a bunch of dead cops?
All right.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
I'm just being real with you, man.
They want it to be Jakoby.
Okay? Whether it's him or not.
If he's not cuffed
by the time they get here,
they're gonna smoke
both of you motherfuckers.
- Cuff your partner.
- Don't...
- Ward, it's okay.
- Don't reach on me like that.
We can't run all night.
Let's do it.
It's time to end this.
Let's go in.
Take my gun.
Turn around.
Hey, Ward...
I can't go to prison.
They'll skin me alive.
You're not going to jail.
You didn't do shit.
I shot everybody.
Ward, shut the fuck up and lawyer up.
Aah!
Get inside! Get inside! Go!
Shit. What was that?
Good girl. Let me out. Let me out.
You see anything?
- No, I can't see anything.
- Sir, get away from that window!
Oh, shit! Move! Come on!
Traitor.
Oh, shit, shit.
Get me out. Get me out.
Get me out!
Oh, God.
Oh, shit.
I told you Orcs hold grudges.
Huh? What'd I say?
All right, look. I'm gonna cut you a break
on the reckless driving.
But I need you to return to your vehicles
and drive home safely.
So I need you to take your fat
Shrek-looking ass
back to your vehicle
and drive the fuck home to Fiona. A'ight?
- Do you wanna go to jail?
- Fiona?
Tell these dickheads in Orkish
to get the fuck back in their vehicles
and drive home,
- or they're all going to jail.
- But... they speak English.
But... You understand, right?
Speak English?
Yeah. Of course.
Take 'em to the church!
You know...
I'm not from here.
I grew up in Miami.
Great Orc communities there,
strong Orc communities.
We'd have block parties
with dwarves and humans.
It was fucking fun, man.
I wasn't in the game then.
I was a bus driver.
Then I moved to LA.
Fucking City of Angels, right?
Listen, I would really appreciate it
if you gave me the respect
of looking at me when I'm talking to you.
I get here and I see
how broke the system is.
Orcs caught between the police
and the gangsters.
Elves making money off us.
- So I organize...
- Tikka.
...my community.
We got our own thing now.
Every month...
- Look at me, motherfucker.
- Sorry.
Every month...
I throw a big party.
Get everyone drunk, feed 'em.
All races...
partying together, with one rule.
No guns.
After years of peace...
who brings in the guns?
We did, yeah.
- The drama?
- Us.
Disrespects our celebration?
The motherfucking police!
An unblooded Orc.
Grew up with humans. Never had a hand
raised for him in respect.
What's he saying?
- Playing the nice guy.
- Nothing I haven't heard before.
Your buddy's so happy to say
he's got a Orc friend.
Shit. I'm stuck with this motherfucker.
- Seriously?
- I'm just saying,
ain't like we's stomping
through the club together.
Ward.
Where is the Wand?
What Wand?
- Hey, man, we're family.
- Hey, Nick.
He's just trying to get in your head.
Don't let him in your head.
I'm not trying to get in his head, man.
I'm in his soul.
We're the same thing.
- I'll tell you where the Wand is.
- Yeah?
It's up your fucking ass.
Where's the Wand?
Whip these motherfuckers.
Get them!
Don't hurt 'em.
Pussy.
Roundtooth.
False Orc.
Unblooded coward.
Where is the Wand?
What... What Wand?
You motherfucking dickhead!
Where is the Wand?
What Wa... Wand?
There's no Wand!
Altamira thinks there's a Wand.
The police think there's a Wand.
The feds think there's a Wand.
I think there's a Wand!
There's no Wand.
Ghetto Fairy tales.
Bring me the Elf.
I will cover you with her hot blood.
She don't have shit to do with this.
Where is the Wand?
We are police off...
officers.
And you can't do this to us.
Kill them!
Watch your friends die, Elf.
You didn't break.
You deserve to be blooded.
You would have made a great Orc.
I am... a great Orc.
My son earns his colors tonight.
Mikey.
Bye, partner.
Why are you waiting?
Father... I know him.
Ward...
He helped me escape from the police.
That's the guy...
that I let go.
He saved my life. I cannot kill him.
Go home.
You can't be here.
Fuck you, you green pig-nose
piece of shit.
Shoot, bitch.
- Beg for it! Beg!
- Shoot me, bitch. Shoot, bitch!
Fuck you.
- Show your respect!
- Fuck you! Do it! Shoot!
- Shoot, motherfucker! Bring it!
- Give us respect! Here it comes!
This is a Prophecy, for he has risen.
Hey, hey.
W- Ward?
What happened?
Uh... Nothing. Why?
Well, something happened. I feel great.
Uh...
- Nah, just go, go, go.
- Okay.
You're a Bright?
You're a fucking Bright?
Would've been nice to know that
when we was getting fucked up.
Could've had a magic helicopter
take us somewhere.
I only started my training.
I only know a few spell words.
She speaks English pretty good now, too.
- Now I trust you.
- Um...
You gonna need to unfuck this, okay?
A'ight? You gonna magic us to Palm Springs
or some shit.
I saved your friend's life.
Isn't that enough?
It's a start, but...
Uh, Ward, stop.
I happen to think it's a pretty big deal.
Thank you.
Now, Tikka, who are these Elves
who are hunting us?
They're aiding the return
of the Dark Lord...
so he can slaughter billions
and enslave the survivors
to serve him in a new age of magic.
Oh. That's all.
Just some Illuminati shit.
They're Inferni.
They destroyed the Illuminati
a hundred years ago.
How do you know all this?
I, too, am Inferni.
But I escaped.
The Shield of Light hid me.
Leilah gave an assassin her Wand
to kill me.
But I got the Wand from her.
Keep it away from Leilah.
She mustn't get her Wand back.
With it,
she can restore the Dark Lord to power.
Hey, what is that? What's the shit?
What's the black stuff?
Hey. Look... All right.
All right, hey, look,
don't-don't-don't check out on us.
Keep it away from her.
Keep the Wand away from Leilah.
- Promise me.
- Yes.
All right. She needs medical attention.
We gotta get her to an emergency room.
But how?
Got it. Let's go!
Go, go!
We won't let you die.
How do we save you?
Only the Shield of Light can help me.
Where are they?
Home.
- Home.
- Home? Where's home?
Wait, home.
Uh... the Abrams' house?
Everybody was dead there.
There's a pool.
The pools are... connected like...
the roots of a holy tree.
Ward, she's dying. We have to take her
back to where we found her.
- No. We are not going back to that house.
- Yes.
We're gonna get to the hospital.
There's doctors there.
We're gonna turn her and the Wand
over to the feds.
- Ward. Ward.
- I want my life back.
She brought me back from the dead.
Hey, don't kook out on me right now,
all right?
We don't know exactly what happened.
You have to accept the miracle.
- We're not going back to that house.
- You and me are simple people.
We mean nothing.
People don't write about us.
But this, don't you see,
is like a time of heroes?
Jirak was unblooded like me.
An Orc that nobody cared about.
He...
He united the Nine Armies,
and they defeated the Dark Lord. He...
He was a farmer who changed the world.
They raised their blades to him.
He was blooded in that very moment.
He fulfilled a great Prophecy, Ward.
I think we might be in a Prophecy.
- We're not in a Prophecy, all right?
- How do you know?
We're in a stolen Toyota Corolla.
- No.
- Okay? Look at my face.
All right? This is not a Prophecy face.
This is a bad-night face.
Okay? And we're gonna get to the hospital,
and the feds are gonna put an end to it.
Shut the fuck up, Ward, and listen to me.
We have to go back.
There's nothing ahead of us.
Ah, man. These guys are feds.
Oh, shit.
I get the big gun.
Ah.
I didn't mind having the big gun.
That... That's a bomb.
Yes, it is.
- You want me to hold it?
- Yes, I do.
W... Why?
You never know.
I sit before you, Lord of Darkness.
Serving your will is my honor.
I will return you to this world.
They're coming!
There! In the wall!
Shoot through the wall!
Ward!
Nick!
Nick! Let's go!
Jakoby!
I gave her the bomb.
You never know.
Swipe left.
Oh, shit.
Shoot her!
Shoot her!
Nick, will you please shoot her!
Shoot! Shoot her!
Good work.
The water. Put me in the water.
Hey. You're done. I got it from here.
So what now?
Have faith.
She's coming.
Nick!
The hell are you?
I'm a warrior.
A priestess, a lover.
I am whatever my Lord needs me to be.
Come home.
Please, come home.
I can't go back.
Dream with me again.
What you love is broken, rotten.
This man and the Orc...
...what are they to you?
- They're good.
- No.
It's time to come home.
It's time to come home.
- It's too late. I can't come home.
- It's time to wake up.
So just shut up and kill me.
Just shut up and kill me!
- This is not you!
- Shut up and kill me!
This is not you! This is you!
What have you done to my sister?
What have you done to her?
What did you do?
Shit.
Nick, if you were aiming at the Wand,
that was a really good shot.
But shoot her in her head!
Like this?
I can't.
I'm out.
No!
You're not a Bright.
You touch my Wand...
and it will splatter you
all over the walls.
I think that's kind of the plan.
Think I'mma just kill us all.
Ward...
I wouldn't do that.
It's all right.
We're in a Prophecy, right?
Oh... Oh!
This is impossible.
Hey, Nick, I got the Wand.
Um, what now?
Maybe you're a... You're a Bright, Ward.
Use it!
Oh, good idea.
Give it to me...
or she dies.
Vykwarus.
The war word is Vykwarus.
Vykwarus!
We got a Bright in there!
Aah!
Tikka. Tikka.
- Tikka!
- Ward! It's okay.
- She just... She rolled in.
- Come on, Ward!
- She's gone. It's okay.
- I didn't hurt her.
- Tikka!
- Ward, Tikka's okay.
She's gone.
- Tikka!
- Ward, think of Sophia.
Come on, Ward!
Orc!
Stand down.
Stand down.
Ward!
Ward!
No!
Daryl!
You're safe now.
Ward!
Daryl!
Ward!
Ward!
I know. I gotcha.
Got him!
Ward! We made it!
We got out!
I got you. You're okay.
Are you okay?
Breathe, Ward.
Say something.
Nick... look.
Oh.
Still not my friend.
I never really liked you anyway.
Think you're a big dog
now you're blooded, huh?
Yeah, pretty big.
Hey, Nick.
Yeah.
Fuck magic.
Well, I don't know.
I still think it's kinda cool.
How you doing, fellas?
- Good?
- Hey.
Nick, the firemen are here.
- We should've been firemen.
- Yeah.
Hey, can I get a aspirin?
Hey, Clan Blood.
Daryl.
Oh, Daryl.
How are you feeling?
You feeling okay?
Uh, yeah.
Okay, I get it.
Oh, shit.
Well, that can't be good.
Yeah.
Why you not locked up?
I think they think
you're more dangerous than me.
Hey.
Don't say shit.
- Sir, we were just responding to a call.
- Mmm.
My partner and I, we...
But there was all this crazy magic stuff.
I mean, everything that happened
with Brown...
- Hey, hey, hey.
- ...and Hicks and Pollard and Ching...
- They wanted Officer Ward to shoot me.
- Hey. Nick.
They wanted to him to kill me
so they could get the Wand, remember?
And he wouldn't do it
'cause he's a stand-up guy.
He wouldn't do it. But then they said
they would kill me, so he...
he had to take action,
- like, with his gun, right?
- No. That's not my recollection.
Hey, Nick, why don't you just...
If you hold up a second...
- What?
- ...they'll ask us questions.
It's what happened, I swear to God.
We just returned to the call.
But there are forces at play
that are beyond.
- There was, uh, an Elf woman.
- Hey, Nick.
She owned the Wand. Right?
It must've been hers. Not a nice lady.
Dressed very well, but... Like you.
But she was a terrible woman. She...
- Uh, she served the Dark Lord.
- Nick...
- I know it.
- Let them...
- Let them ask us questions.
- They need to know this.
- Let him ask us questions.
- There was an Angel.
All right. That was then
when the gangsters were chasing us.
- Uh, the context is a little off.
- Tikka.
Oh, Tikka.
So sad. Tikka...
Tikka was a young Bright.
She... She... She...
She... She used the Wand
and she saved my life.
I was... My soul was leaving my body,
and she brought me back.
Officer Ward?
We responded to a 415 disturbance call.
Uh, upon approaching the residence,
we realized that it was a safe house
- for an extremist group.
- Full of weird...
We immediately took fire,
uh, at which point we called for backup.
And... unfortunately...
- officers were killed in the exchange.
- I've never seen shooting like it.
He turned around, sight unseen,
four of them, bang, bang, bang, bang.
Dropped...
like it was one bullet.
Sorry, keep going.
Gangsters showed up,
and it just went really sideways
from that point.
And had you guys not shown up...
it would've... it would've been really bad.
Uh, so the real heroes in this
are you guys.
So we wanna say thank you.
Nick, thank the nice federal agents.
Thank you.
So, let me say, unequivocally...
there was no Wand.
And there was no magic.
Just a couple of street cops...
doing our job.
Oh, I know what this is.
Then that's what happened?
Yes, sir. That's exactly what happened.
Yes?
No, I'm with him.
Unequivocally.
Faced with armed terrorists obsessed
with myths from thousands of years ago,
two of our officers held the line.
I hate seeing those scumbags
up there with Rodriguez.
Let it go, Ward.
We know, okay? That's enough.
Officer Daryl Ward, and our nation's first
Orkish police officer, Nicholas Jakoby.
Officer Jakoby.
Congratulations, Ward.