Bruno & Boots: This Can't Be Happening at Macdonald Hall (2017) Movie Script

1
- Macdonald Hall.
- Over the last century,
- Its students
- have gone on to become
Judges, scientists,
journalists,
and one magician who
we don't like to talk about.
But just because they went on
to change the world
doesn't mean they didn't have
any fun while they were here.
What is this noise?
That's Boots.
All-around athlete,
all-around great guy.
- Not much of
- a Death Rooster fan.
Seven-alarm clock sound.
- That's me, Bruno.
- Slacker, rules hacker,
and all-around
not a morning person.
Bruno, we slept in. Practice
starts in 10 minutes.
- The two of us
- don't always agree.
Our schemes don't
always work out.
- We are so cut from the team
- if we're late again.
- Relax. I figured out
- how to shave
- Three minutes
- off our shortcut.
Man, you are so accurate
with a frozen kumquat!
- But we're best friends
- for life. Roomies forever.
Oh, we gotta go.
There's no time for...
Waffles?
- And nothing will ever
- change that.
- Looking good,
- Chris!
- Lucky for us,
- I always have a plan.
Nice.
Finally, some alone time
with my flags of the world.
OK, what do I start with?
You know, I've never
envied the boys
- over at the Hall
- before...
Until aerial meditation day.
Om...
- Cathy and Diane go to
- the school across the street,
the Scrimmage Academy
for Education and Awakening,
which has produced just as many
judges, scientists,
- and journalists
- as Macdonald Hall.
Coming through!
Gotta mow this! Kinda late.
Talk soon, bye!
- And that's Sturgeon,
- our headmaster.
Always on the lookout
for trouble,
- which usually means
- me and Boots.
Sturgeon's nickname
is The Fish,
but you don't wanna call him
that to his face.
Here you go,
Willy,
the updated you-know-what list.
I have divided them
into bad seeds and bad apples.
Ms. Davis, what do you know
about Malbonia?
Is that a skin condition?
Well, technically it's an
unincorporated protectorate
with a constitutional monarchy,
but the real question is,
why is their flag on our pole?
What?
Oh, good Lord.
One hundred.
Roll call!
Hey, look out for
that garbage can! Look out!
Okay, O'Neal...
And that's what I call
sleeping in in style.
- It was so relaxing.
- Why don't
We do it every morning?
Never seen you before. Okay.
- I've been thinking about that.
- I kinda have a plan.
Of course you do.
If we put in job rsums now,
dude, we'll have jobs at the
Hall by the time we graduate
and then we'll never
have to leave.
- I'm just kinda still figuring
- out if we keep our room.
Okay, helmets on!
Let's get... lacrossing.
Yeah, practicing will help us
beat those York turkeys.
- Wouldn't it just be more fun
- to pull a bunch of
- Hilarious
- pranks on them, though?
Come on, we're
better than that.
Is that brains?
Please tell me
that's not your brain!
It's pudding! And it's
on your heads! Ha-ha-ha!
The best part is when you put
the pudding in the helmets.
- Ah yes, Macdonald Hall's
- bitter rivals, York Academy.
This isn't a story about that
rivalry, but it starts there,
thanks to a really
dumb prank called...
The old "putting pudding
in a helmet" gag. Classic!
Let's get out of here.
Later, suckers!
Look on the bright side...
Free pudding!
Ha-ha-ha! Mmm!
Good morning, Headmaster
Hartley speaking,
working hard for my students
every day and every way.
Cut the bull, Hartley,
you know it's me.
Headmaster Sturgeon?
Well, somebody certainly
got vinegar on their chips
this morning.
Actually, Hartley, I was
getting tired of waiting
for your call.
Call? What call exactly?
The one where
your boys apologize
for pulling that infantile prank
on my junior lacrosse team.
Prank? What
do you mean, prank?
- We don't have any pranks
- scheduled here.
Well, I'll just check my agenda,
shall we? Prank...
no... no prank...
no prank...
no...
No, absolutely no prank
scheduled whatsoever.
Come off it, Hartley,
are you telling me
you don't know anything
about these pudding helmets?
Oh my!
- That's not where
- pudding belongs.
- That sounds
- downright messy.
I hope it didn't
set your boys off.
Because pudding needs
to set, you see.
Yeah, I got it, Hartley,
it just wasn't funny.
Oh! Well, you know
what else isn't funny?
I'm getting tired
of waiting around
for you to call me all day!
Call you? What on earth for?
To reassure me
that your students won't stoop
to some lame-o retaliation
against my boys.
You know, let me remind you,
Headmaster Hartley,
that while my boys aren't
perfect, not by a long shot,
they are certainly
well above petty things
like getting revenge. Goodbye.
We need revenge.
All of it.
All in favor?
It's unanimous:
revenge will be sought.
- Okay, just promise me
- whatever we do,
- It's better than
- shoving pudding into a helmet.
Exactly, right? Like,
where's the poetry in that?
Where's the craft?
Alright, so what do we do?
I believe this calls
for a revenge pitch speed round.
Good pitches get a thumbs up,
bad pitches get the gong.
You heard the man.
So what have we got?
We'll play the sound
of an ice cream truck,
and when they come running out,
there's no ice cream.
Okay, I'm not saying
it's a guillotine, but...
okay, it's pretty much
a guillotine.
We infect York's water supply
with a special strain
of rhinovirus,
spliced with just enough
earthworm DNA
to significantly alter their
morphology and create...
Elmer.
Is this another plan to turn
the York boys into worm people?
Would that be a problem?
I like
the sentiment, but...
I'm not sure
we can afford a crane.
My uncle raises these
thoroughbred guinea pigs, right?
I say we borrow, like,
a hundred of them...
Nope! Not even
going there.
Severe guinea pig phobia.
But they're so cute!
- And they have
- such luxurious hair...
Can we please talk
about something else?
And so, I say that we hire
a witch to put a curse
on the York team.
Hm! that's interesting.
Yeah, except for the little
detail that curses aren't real.
What if we put a curse
on the York Academy team,
- but then just don't tell them
- that it's not real?
Wait, athletes are
superstitious...
You mess with their pre-game
traditions and it can throw
- their whole game.
- Exactly, right? If, you know,
Someone steals their mascot,
something like that.
Princess Penelope!
Good shot, boys!
And it's all because of you,
the prettiest princess
in all the land.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we're gonna steal a princess.
It's about to go down.
Alright, York clothes on.
It's go time. Over.
You know, we are right here.
You could just tell us.
But this way's more fun. Over.
Good point. Over.
Let's do this!
Welcome, parents,
students, pain help,
and our many corporate donors.
Find tomorrow's leaders today!
Welcome, one and all,
to another York Boys
Academy pep rally
where we celebrate victory
before it has actually happened.
Why?
Because, come on!
We are the York Boys Academy!
- Dude, I tackled him
- so hard,
It's a miracle
he can still walk.
That's 'cause you're
the greatest, Chip.
Hey, did you hear that?
Let's check it out.
Hey, what are you doing?
Check it out,
it's Hartley!
Look at those teeth.
Ha-ha-ha!
That's my dad, man.
His nose is way bigger!
Make it bigger, make it bigger.
Oh yeah.
Oh, add some spinach
to his teeth. Yeah.
Oh yeah, he's like
a hundred years old, man.
Can't forget the wrinkles.
Hey, guys.
Hey, man.
That is just wrong, man.
Copy that. Princess
is traveling.
Yo, let's go.
You really captured
his lack of scruples.
Nice job,
little weird artist dude.
Oh man, that's just wrong.
Yes!
They had no idea!
Totally clueless.
High fives for a perfectly
planned caper.
Uh-uh. Gotta keep my hands
at ten and two.
Driving's no joke, boys.
High five for Wilbur getting
his license last month
and being such
a conscientious driver.
- When's the last time
- you ate, Wilbur?
Don't look at me.
It came from the cage.
That does not sound
like a princess.
As many of you know,
our beloved Princess Penelope
died earlier this month
after 17 years
of devoted service.
Why, that's almost a hundred
in cat years,
and almost 200
in mascot years.
But, sometimes,
the passing of a loved one
gives one the opportunity
to rethink your branding
strategy, which is why
I am proud to introduce
to you all
York Boys Academy Cougars'
new mascot,
Princess Murdertooth!
Oh, dude!
A bowl of pudding?
Curse you, Macdonald Hall!
Who has an actual,
real live cougar
as their mascot? Why?
- Because they are called
- the Cougars, right?
Fun fact: cougars
aren't considered big cats.
They fall into the same family
as housecats.
- Fun fact:
- you can't talk about fun facts
- When you're dead!
- That's a technicality.
What do we do?
We calm down. We calm down.
It's perfectly secure
inside its cage.
OK, it's...
it's perfectly secure
inside the van.
You were saying?
What the...
That cougar's
a terrible driver!
He's definitely not keeping
his hands at ten and two!
Let's go, we gotta get it!
Come on!
- The surprisingly
- low speed chase ended
with animal control officers
tranquilizing the animal.
Charged with one count
of purchasing
a banned exotic animal
is Thomas J. Hartley,
headmaster of the now
formerly prestigious
York Boys Academy, who faces
disciplinary action.
Headmaster Hartley
lost his job today.
We're sorry.
Because your shenanigans
Brought to light his black
market animal purchase.
Uh, you're welcome?
Boys, since you've both been
together here at the Hall,
you've found yourselves in no
small amount of trouble, hm?
Pancake launcher,
illegal road tolls,
underground tunnel to the local
movie theater...
Attempted tunnel,
sir.
Oh, I stand corrected.
What Bruno means is that
we will graciously accept
whatever punishment
you think is fair.
No, actually, I think the time
for punishment is over.
I think for the sake of the Hall
and its legal bills...
We need to have a change.
We punish you?
- Do some kind
- of yard work?
Keep in mind, I burn easy.
I'm less concerned
- about punishing you for the past
- and more interested
- In preparing
- you for the future.
- What future?
- A future where you're no longer
At the Hall.
- Or living together,
- for that matter.
Actually, sir,
- I have a plan for that.
- I'm sure you do, O'Neal,
But a big part of growing up
is adapting to change,
and it's my job to ensure that
you're up for the challenge.
Which is why,
effective immediately,
I'm separating the two of you.
That's...
No...
No, sir, that's...
Okay, um,
let's just talk this through...
No need.
My decision's final.
- I know it's gonna take some
- adjusting,
- But I'm sure
- you'll be up to it.
- What if we're not
- up for it?
What happens then? Have you
even thought about that?
I very, very strongly suggest
you find a way, O'Neal,
because if you don't,
you'll find yourself
not at the Hall much longer.
Yes, sir.
I know this is gonna be
difficult, but I truly believe
it'll do you both good
to see what you're capable of
separately.
So, as of right now, no more
classes, no more clubs,
no more roommates.
No more
Bruno and Boots.
Ms. Davis dropped these off.
Our new roommate assignments.
- We should probably
- get it over with.
- I wanna give you
- something first.
Dude!
My party shades! Ha!
Uh... oh! Here.
My lucky puck.
Isn't this the puck that
hit you in the stomach?
Yep, but it's lucky
because it didn't nail me
anywhere lower.
What's wrong, man?
I've never seen you like this.
I'm not good with change.
My parents once painted my room
without telling me...
I didn't sleep
for a month, Bruno.
Don't be scared.
Here, look. Come here.
You take the smoothie station.
Okay? I'll be fine.
That's just it! You'll be fine!
- You're Bruno Walton, you always
- land on your feet!
You've got
a plan! What do I have?
- Yes, that's right.
- That's right, I do.
And so... here.
You take your half, I'll take
mine. Hang on to that.
We're gonna be making cheddar
and bacon smoothies in no time.
Yeah, I actually hate those.
I promise you.
Alright.
How weird can our roommate
assignments actually be, right?
Yeah, that weird.
- Don't you have
- your own hazmat suit?
Pardon?
Don't you have
your own hazmat suit?
Uh, no? Should I?
- Opening a window
- should suffice.
Welcome, roomie.
Lot of stuff and gear, Elmer.
And why is it so creepy?
My world is the world
of science,
the world of knowledge
and discovery.
- Yeah, okay, but where
- did the last guy live?
For some reason, he elected
to live in a box. On the roof!
I can't imagine why.
My synthetic mucus!
Oh, sorry! I did not
mean to... wow.
That is a new smell.
I can see we're going to have
- to establish some ground rules.
- Let me start with a list
Of things you shouldn't touch.
Test tubes, beakers,
petri dishes,
anything on the primary
or secondary science tables,
likewise my pheromones
of the animal kingdom,
and you do not wanna touch
any of the slime molds
in the specimen fridge.
OK, but what about
the blueberry yogurt?
What blueberry yogurt?
Hi. This is...
- Mr. O'Neal, welcome.
- Mr. Wexford-Smith III
has been expecting you.
He has?
Is this room bigger
on the inside?
Considerably.
But well worth the expense.
Murray, if you please?
Good to have you on board.
So you're outsourcing
handshakes now.
I was a skeptic,
until I ran the numbers.
Welcome to your new home.
Non-disclosure agreement.
You shouldn't have.
Well, living here,
you may be privy to trade
secrets, cap and trade policies,
etc. etc.
Most of all...
I love the smell of contracts
in the morning.
I need to lie down.
Where do you sleep?
Sleep?
And miss a day's trade
or the Tokyo Stock Exchange?
No, no, no, no. That's
Murray's job now, old fence.
I'm sorry, but I need a bed
to sleep in, to study in,
- to sleep in while pretending
- to be studying...
- This is not gonna work,
- I'm sorry.
Relax, old sock.
We have you all settled.
Right over here.
You'll be snug as a bug.
- I mean, of course I'll expect
- you to clean out
By start of business hours
each AM, but until then,
welcome home.
Ah! That's my 6:50.
Hey!
So you deciphered my code.
A picture of the place
we're secretly meeting at
doesn't really
qualify as a code.
So, how's living with George?
Is it true that his room's
actually some company?
Yeah, no, I sleep
next to the photocopier.
- And it's not so much sleep
- as I close my eyes
For ten seconds before
somebody prints something.
- Well, um,
- I found
One of Elmer's carnivorous
centipedes in my bed.
Don't ask why I know
it's carnivorous.
I'm glad at least one of us is
getting a kick out of all this.
Wait a minute.
I know that smirk.
You've got a plan.
Why else would I call you here?
OK, well, make it quick.
If The Fish catches us
together, we're through.
- Should I get the guys together - for a meeting?
- No, no.
Actually, this plan kinda means
doing the exact opposite.
Normally,
we ask our friends for a bit
of help, right? This time,
our friends are gonna help us
without them even knowing.
We're about to become
the worst roommates
in the history
of rooms... or mates.
I call it Operation Doommates.
Then Sturgeon threw some butter
and someone threw some icing in,
and then it just turned into
this huge epic food fight
right on stage.
Such tales of waste, Bruno!
You could've fed
dozens instead!
Macdonald Hall
is a dream school.
Every day, it's zany antics.
What are you doing?
Oh, just talking to Francisco,
your Malbonian video pen pal.
Hey, Elmer!
Yeah, my Malbonian
video pen pal!
Hey, Franny, you should
totally come to the Hall!
You know, maybe there's,
like, an exchange or...
No! No, no, no, no, no!
Come to MacDonald Hall?
Where students sell doorknobs
and don't go to jail?
Where are my test tubes?
Ah man, you know what?
The charity drive came by today.
They must have taken it.
Bruno, those were
highly concentrated
skunk pheromones
I was collecting for a year!
If one of those
test tubes breaks,
it'll be skunk mating
season for months!
Elmer, I'm sorry,
I had no idea.
What is that?
Oh, Mr. Captain Cuddles?
- I've had him for like ten years.
- Have you guys not met?
Wherever he goes, I go.
Isn't that right, Mr. Cuddles?
Aren't you cute?
Look at you, you're so cute!
Well, you can rest assured,
because when it comes to
collateralized debt obligations,
I happen to be
a bit of an expert.
Hello? Hello?
Hello? What are you doing?
This simply cannot be!
Oh, sorry, George.
I gotta be ready for
the Junior Jazz Ensemble.
The show is only
three months away!
This just
cost me a client!
I'll try and play as quietly
as I possibly can.
See? It's like
I'm not even here!
Ms. Davis? Ms. Davis!
[GEORGE AND ELMER
It was so loud I could
feel it in my chest!
- I can't believe
- this is working.
Hey, I made a promise,
didn't I?
Rinse and repeat until
we're roomies again.
Alright, alright, alright!
Take it easy, Einstein!
Don't get your fifties
in a knot. Here.
Fill out these roommate
request forms.
Now you need to
build up an appetite.
I stick to you like glue
You're my weekend
I like what you did
'Sup, roomie?
Hey, this isn't
your food, is it?
This isn't gonna work out.
Um, you boys wouldn't be
intentionally bad fits for all
your new roommates, would you?
Mr. Sturgeon, I can honestly
say we would be terrible fits
with anybody.
We're trying our best, sir.
Ah, don't worry.
There are over 300 new boys
for you to try harder with.
Operation Doommates just got
a "snore-midable" improvement.
You gotta be kidding me!
- Aw, man! Come on,
- be quiet, let me sleep!
Incoming.
Here we go again.
Do angels live here?
No, I don't drink tea.
Actually, you know,
I'll give it a try.
Ah! Thank you.
Man, I've been on fire!
Bro, most of these kids
- don't even last
- a single night with me!
Carlos, done.
Brian J., done.
That Gordon kid that never
stopped typing, done.
Wow! That's great,
man, really.
- If you've been
- keeping up with me,
We have got to be through most
of the roommate options by now.
Gimme your names,
I'll cross them off.
I'm... kind of still
living with Chris.
What? Dude, it's been
over a week!
Doesn't he drive you crazy,
- always never talking,
- always so quiet?
Well...
Mumsie, look! The Duke of
Bermondsey's driving a lorry,
and he's wearing a jumper!
Cheerio!
So he really is British.
Super British.
Dude, it's been over a week!
Meanwhile, I've been
burning through roommates
like sulfuric acid
burns through iron.
I think I still have
some residual Elmer on me.
I know, but Chris
is a good guy.
I don't know, I kinda
like living with him.
What's wrong? Do you need a
hand? 'Cause I can come by...
No, no. Tonight's
- watercolor night.
- Excuse me?
I... it's
just a thing...
that we do. Obviously,
- I didn't have the greatest
- technique at first,
But he really helped me
work on my brush strokes
and my use of negative space,
and the whole thing
just came to...
What?
I like painting!
Whatever. We just need
to stick to the plan.
- Don't you think that maybe
- we've been taking
- Some of this
- Doommate stuff pretty far?
You'll get over it, dude.
All we're doing is slightly
annoying people
for a good cause. We're like
mosquitoes who recycle.
Well, maybe I don't
wanna be Chris' mosquito.
Are you forgetting why
we're doing this, dude?
You know, "I can't
handle change, Bruno!
Help me, Bruno! I'm
nothing without you!"
Okay, I remember the first two,
not so sure about the last one.
I know what you meant.
Anyways, don't you still
wanna live together?
Of course!
I swear. Just...
maybe we should take a break
for a couple days, you know,
make sure we still have
some friends left.
I suppose next you'll want me
to give back Elmer's pheromones.
Hey!
That's the spirit! C'mon!
Let's go.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- What are you doing here? I...
Elmer's pheromones, please.
There's three words that
should never go together.
- Have you tried
- buying him dinner?
What happened
to Operation Doommates?
Thank you.
But he's been practicing
his brush stroke technique.
Not to be a drama llama,
but are you guys okay?
Never better.
- I'll take that.
- No, you need
To get back to Chris.
I said I got it.
You don't trust me now?
Come on, dude, gimme the phero...
Ugh, that stuff reeks!
We are so sorry. We will
- stay and clean up.
- Uh, no.
We have no time.
We have to get you back
to that canvas. See you, gals!
Okay...
Uh...
Are you serious?
- So they can use a little
- air freshener!
What's the worst that
could actually happen?
Uh... that?
And that.
We should go.
Really should.
Boys, a couple of things
have come to my attention.
Oh...
Uh, I think what Boots
meant to say was, uh, "Oh?"
Let's begin with how
incompatible you both seem to be
with virtually
every other boy in dorm 1.
Yeah, it's a real shame.
I feel like I could room
with anyone, but I don't know,
I guess the other guys just...
don't feel the
same way about me.
Yeah... ditto.
Hm. It's almost as if the only
people you two can live with
are... the two of you.
Almost, sir.
Except for one little wrinkle.
The plan to separate you is
working. Boots' marks are up 6%.
Really? That's great!
But 6% is not that much.
It's enough for me to think
- that separating you was
- a good idea.
- I'm tempted
- to keep it that way for good.
But that's not part
of the plan. I mean, uh...
I mean... no...
Not like we have a plan.
Or I had a plan.
What plan?
Well, regardless,
there's another little wrinkle
that's going to affect the way
we all live for a while.
Something happened at
Scrimmage's last night.
Oh... I mean,
oh?
Yeah, massive skunk damage. Some
kind of skunk mating frenzy.
- Carpets have to be ripped out,
- wood replaced...
- The air quality alone means
- it's going to be
- Uninhabitable
- for months.
I guess you already
know that we...
- Would have no choice
- but to invite
Our neighbors here
in their time of need.
P... pardon?
Say what now?
- Attention,
- Macdonald Hall students,
This is
Headmaster Sturgeon.
Macdonald Hall's mission is
to ensure each of you grow up
to be functioning adults,
and also understand
that change,
however difficult,
can also be a good thing,
especially when it means
being a good citizen
and a good neighbor.
There will be some new
faces in this school,
and possibly for the rest
of the year,
because Macdonald Hall is now
the new temporary home
of Scrimmage Academy.
Please welcome our guests,
while giving them
- what little space
- we can offer.
- Although their classes
- and living quarters
Will remain separate, we'll all
be under the same roof.
Maybe we should take our
chances with the skunks.
It smells like
grandpas in here.
Come on, Diane.
So let's all rise
to the challenge of this
temporary change, shall we,
and embrace the opportunity
to grow and to learn.
Thank you.
Wow.
So what does this mean?
Uh, it means that space
is now very limited,
so no more room changes.
Compatibility is a luxury
we can no longer afford.
But our... our room!
Your room is now...
Ah!
Scrimmage's Therapeutic
Bubble Wrap Room.
Apparently, popping
bubbles is a keystone
of her curriculum.
I'm sorry, boys,
- you won't be living together
- anytime soon,
- Not until things
- are back to normal. Clear?
Yes, sir. This
certainly brings everything
into perspective.
Oh, does it now?
Hello! Make way! Hello!
Coming through! Oh, watch out!
Oh, hello!
Eugenia... I mean Ms. Scrimmage,
what are you doing here?
Hello, office mate.
May I just say
that your generosity
is an inspiration,
and quite unexpected. Oh!
So much possibility in here.
All of this... gone.
Uh, you're moving
into my office?
Well, as headmistress, I need
a nexus of concentration,
and if the boys and girls
can share the school,
surely you and I
can share one room.
How would you say that the
energy flows best in this room...
This way, or this way?
Wouldn't you be much happier
in a... oh, I don't know,
a field or a lovely tree?
Ha! No, I would not.
I am not an orangutan.
It's not even
my spirit animal.
Well, we'll let you, uh,
rise to the challenge
and embrace opportunities.
I cannot work without my wind
chimes.
These will change
your life, William.
- So wait, you're
- telling us that you spent
the last month making our lives
a waking nightmare
from which there was
no escape, just so you two
could be roomies again?
But now you want our help to
do the same thing to the girls?
Maybe we owe you guys
an apology.
- Mm-hmm.
- Maybe!
- And Boots
- is working on that
- Right now, okay,
- but the bottom line is,
The longer the girls stay,
the more Macdonald Hall changes.
They have got to go.
- And the girls
- Could not agree more.
Don't touch me.
Wait, really?
Well, I don't know
what you guys are serving
in the buffeteria,
but it isn't food.
- And I don't know
- what buffeteria means,
But it isn't a real word.
- And one of your teachers
- scolded Diane
- for digging a hole
- in the schoolyard.
I was just trying to bury
my metaphorical inhibitions.
- Plus-and I mean this
- in the nicest way possible...
I've smelled fast food dumpsters
that stink less than you alls.
That's true.
That one's fair, actually.
The gong is ready to go.
- Oh no, we don't need that
- anymore, Wilbur.
I actually already have a plan.
Operation Fake Prank War.
That's...
that's brilliant.
If Sturgeon
and Scrimmage think
the boys and the girls can't get
along, they'll separate us.
- Scrimmage will find us somewhere
- else to stay
- While the school
- gets de-skunked.
A motel, a trailer park,
a ditch... anything would be
an improvement. No offense.
Guys,
do I have to remind you?
Bruno's plans don't
always go as...
planned.
He's right.
Sometimes they go better.
Alright, let's go!
Yeah!
- Okay, let's just remember
- the ground rules.
- That's right,
- where there are no rules,
- Only losers and winners.
- No!
That this is
a fake prank war
for Sturgeon's benefit.
We don't want to hurt anyone.
Right?
Right.
That too.
Ready...
Break!
She said I'm starting
A war today
I said you're already
On your way
I know trouble
Homerun, back where
You started from
Shotgun, sing me
Another song
Moron
Keep your seatbelt on
Bye, Walton!
Watch your back, girls.
All wrapped up
And ready to go
Eyes on the sun
And feet the snow
There isn't a place
Where we can't go
Oh-oh-oh
Select my targets,
am my newest invention,
the "Viscositizer", and...
Minimal malfunct... whoa!
Well, the liquid works.
And I know what
The future holds
Seen her on the center boards
Coming
Whether you're ready or not
Really?
All wrapped up
And ready to go
Eyes on the sun
And feet the snow
There isn't a place
Where we can't go
Oh-oh-oh
Okay, new plan, new plan.
Prank hard.
That is a prank war.
A game no one wins.
Maybe it's all in good fun.
Oh, that's not fun, Eugenia.
What on earth is that noise?
It's my wet noise generator.
It's just the thing to use
in times of stress.
Just the thing to give me
a splitting headache.
- Oh, that means
- I should turn it up.
Ugh.
All wrapped up
And ready to go
Eyes on the sun
And feet the snow
There isn't a place
Where we can't go
Oh-oh-oh
Walton!
Catch me!
No way this is gonna
get out of hand, right?
Well, define
"out of hand".
It always tries
To knock me dead
All wrapped up
And ready to go
Eyes on the sun
And feet the snow
There isn't a place
Where we can't go
Oh-oh-oh
All wrapped up
And ready to go
Eyes on the sun
Alright, second time's
the charm.
A few adjustments and...
Not again! Whoa!
Bruno!
Bruno!
Come on, come on!
Wha...
I've been thinking...
Maybe we should pull back
on this prank war.
What? Why?
- I just think it's
- getting out of hand.
- I don't know what you're
- talking about.
- This prank is going
- to be beautiful.
What prank?
No, no, don't!
No! No!
What's wrong? You can dish it
out but you can't take it?
Cathy!
Guys!
- I knew this
- would escalate!
I'm doing this for you!
Guys, stop!
You're gonna break it!
Walton, what are you doing?
Guys! Guys, look!
Who would leave
this lovely box here?
No, no, no!
What?
Nuts.
Now, Mr. Sturgeon and I
understand that this has been
a difficult time.
Actually, "we" don't.
- I think what William
- is trying to say
is that we feel
your confusion.
Hmm... no, I'm not.
I'm too busy feeling
very, very pink.
Sir, I think I can
speak for all of us
when I say pink is
definitely your color.
- And I think I can speak
- for all of us when I say
This is entirely Bruno's fault.
My fault?
Who was the one who put
all the moustaches
and wigs all over Chris'
masterpieces?
Well, who's the one that
painted the entire staircase
that I walked into?
I've still got a headache.
Oh, I have something for that.
Where is my wet noise generator?
Oh, it's drying out.
On the roof.
The thing I don't understand
is... I thought
you all liked each other.
We do.
I mean, we're friends.
Arguable.
Mr. Sturgeon,
Ms. Scrimmage,
we only did all this to show you
that we couldn't get along
so you would split us
back up and...
everything would go
back to normal.
I guess it just...
got out of hand.
That is the most...
Idiotic,
harebrained, impossible...
Poignant, understandable,
beautiful...
Beautiful...
- Wait, what?
- Well, William, we're the ones
Who forced them to do this,
so this is really our fault.
Is this really happening?
Oh, and it gets better.
Watch.
Wait a minute.
I'm not the reason I got
pink powder up my nose.
Aren't you, William?
In your heart.
I think it's time to let
bygones be bygones.
We have so much to learn
from each other...
which we could do at
a coed equinox gathering
of movement and co-mingling!
I believe what she's trying
to say is a dance, and no,
- I don't think this is the right
- time for that, Eugenia.
Nonsense! It's a perfect way
to let off some steam
through vigorous
rhythmic activity.
Yeah, actually, I think that
would be a really good way
for everyone to just...
get along again.
Really.
Do you think that's
possible, hm? Walton?
Ms. Burton?
Absolutely.
Come on! Rubber chicken,
Cayenne pepper, bird's nest...
There is no way
that evil girl's not
planning something.
We have to be ready.
Bruno, we literally just agreed
to let bygones be bygones.
Which we'll do,
but if they start bygoning
again, we'll be ready.
Ah, there you are!
Old Faithful.
- I've actually rigged it
- to a small battery
So it's way more buzzy. Hope
Diane doesn't have a pacemaker.
No!
Oh, come on!
- Dude, it doesn't hurt that bad.
- I do it to myself.
- Why do I get to have
- all of the fun, you know?
Bruno, I mean
no more pranks.
No more revenge.
It's over.
Wait, what's over? Like, us?
No, of course not!
Just... we can deal with
a little bit of change.
It's only until
the end of the year.
Sorry, do you smell that?
Oh yeah, it's you.
Stinking and sounding
like The Fish.
Dude, I don't know what's
happening to you anymore.
- Maybe I just
- don't want everybody
To end up hating everybody.
Maybe I actually liked
living with those other guys,
doing different stuff.
Since when?
You were the one who was all,
"I don't know what to do, Bruno.
- I don't want change.
- I don't want to room
With anybody else, Bruno!"
Yeah, well, maybe I've
changed. You know what,
maybe The Fish was right.
Maybe we should be apart.
Oh wow!
Ah! Okay.
Oh, come now, William,
it's going to be fun!
Music, movement, mutual respect.
Eugenia,
in my not inconsiderable
experience, I have found
that forced gatherings
meant to create amity
usually do
the exact opposite.
Oh, you. What could
possibly go wrong?
What could go wrong?
Where shall I start?
It's like you're standing
on the edge of a cliff
and you can't help but take
the extra step.
And you're like a fussy man
in a suit who doesn't believe
that kids can
have fun at a dance.
You don't quite understand how
analogies work, do you, Eugenia?
Analogies are like kids.
Sometimes you just have
to trust them.
Oh...
I want you by my side
You were saying?
Ooh, dolphin!
I could barely hide
I will fall for you
That way
We could just go over there
and ask them to dance.
Or... just hear me out here, we
could stay right here, and not.
I like this plan.
It's workable
and it has a lower
humiliation factor.
OK, guys, what is the worst
thing that is gonna happen?
Okay, that's pretty bad.
You know if we don't even try,
Ms. Scrimmage will make us all
- do a sharing circle
- about it tomorrow.
Okay, I'd rather do
a hot yoga sharing circle
in a parka
than let that guy
have even one chance
to laugh at us.
Cathy, do you think
you're maybe getting
a little... obsessed?
- I don't know what
- you're talking about.
Cathy?
Alright, how much longer do we
have to force these children
- to endure this?
- Oh!
Hey, everybody!
Are you ready to dance?
Get this outta here!
That's right, it's me,
TV's Kip Kipperson,
here to answer
that age-old question...
Boogie or Breakdown?
No, no, no, no!
I'm still picking cupcakes
out of my ears.
I don't know who's
responsible for this,
but it's just
what we need.
- I knew Walton would
- pull something.
This has Burton written
all over it. In pen.
Now, I'm gonna ask
two participants
to come up here
into our dance-agon
and show us their
most groovetastic moves
while the rest of us
and the viewers online
make the decision: Boogie
or Breakdown?
Yes! Yes! Yes!
No, no, no, no!
Yes!
Awesome!
Now, what do you
crazy kids have to say
before you boogie
or breakdown?
Holy Mother!
I have nothing to do with
this, but I just wanna say
thank you to whoever it was.
Was it my girls?
No!
Let's just say
it was a fun-nonymous tipster
who knew that this place
needed some funk in its trunk,
some swing in its sting,
some black in its blue.
Now you're just
talking nonsense.
Hey, doesn't matter, we've got
13 million YouTube followers!
A Macdonald Hall headmaster
does not bust moves.
Get fly, bowtie!
William, loosen up!
Go Sturgeon!
This is a trap!
I can smell it!
Hold on, girls!
We didn't plan this!
Ha-ha-ha!
Such hijinks, such wild abandon!
If only I could be
part of such fun.
Come on, Cathy!
What are you doing here?
I'm about to end this nightmare!
Not before I do!
Drop it, drop it!
Drop it!
Everybody, back!
Is everybody okay? Everybody?
Okay?
Hello, Sturgeon.
Hartley?
What are you doing here?
Oh, I think
the real question is:
what are you doing here?
I'm headmaster of this school.
Oh, really? And for how long?
I would think that after
a disastrous prank war,
the last thing a responsible
headmaster would do
is hold a Boogie or Breakdown
competition
in front of 10 million
YouTube viewers!
Thirteen million.
Oh, God.
How would you even
know about...
Hello? Kip Kipperson, from
Boogie or Breakdown Productions?
Great. I have an event
that I think you'd be
Kip-tastic for.
Diabolical laughter
in the halls.
Three demerits.
I dig the use of "Kip-tastic",
but you used dance
for evil, man,
and that is not cool with Kip.
Eh.
I just don't understand
how you thought this was
a good idea, Sturgeon.
You know, it wasn't
exactly my idea,
Superintendent Snow.
And that's the problem.
You've lost control.
Hosting the Scrimmage girls
is one thing, but a prank war?
An internet dance fiasco?
And reports
you were seen doing...
the stanky leg?
Hello, this is Eugenia
Scrimmage and I think
I can help.
Oh, please don't.
We have had some interesting
transition challenges,
it's nothing that a sharing
circle couldn't sort out.
Ms. Scrimmage, the Governing
Board of Governance and I
couldn't agree more.
In fact, we are prepared
to have our own sharing
circle when we discuss
who will run the Hall before
someone gets seriously hurt.
Surely you don't mean...
firing me?
That is one option
on the table.
We do have a very qualified
replacement
who is willing and able to...
No. No, please, don't say...
Hello, Sturgeon.
Hartley.
It's me, Rob Hartley.
Yeah, I just said that.
Oh.
Mr. Hartley
has some very interesting ideas
about how better to serve
- the students of Macdonald Hall.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, I'm sure he's very
interested in my job,
since he just lost his own.
Well, you see,
let me explain that.
Like many great men before me,
I was duped... duped, I say...
By cougar traffickers,
but all charges were
dropped, Sturgeon,
when I agreed to testify
against everyone,
- including people
- I've never met before.
So all's well that ends well.
We can discuss
all of this, including just who
is best suited to run the Hall,
when the Board meets at the Hall
tomorrow. Hartley?
Mm-hmm. I wouldn't
miss it for the world.
Your evil is
showing, Hartley.
Oh. Thought I'd hung up.
Still on, Hartley.
Oh.
Tomorrow, Sturgeon.
We will support you,
William, don't worry.
My girls, myself,
my entire school...
We will all be behind you.
Eugenia,
I'm right over here.
William,
are you alright?
I told my boys
that change was good,
- that it was a necessary
- part of life
- And they could
- deal with it and...
And you were right.
No, I was wrong!
I was very wrong.
Now I have to fix it.
Somehow.
Where did you
learn those moves?
Don't you wanna see, Cathy?
Everyone's having a blast.
Okay, where you see a blast,
I see another Bruno Walton plot.
Yeah, well,
we sure see something.
Girls, we need to talk.
I'll get the sharing stick.
I'd like to propose
another study session:
revenge and its practical
applications.
Diane, forget the stick.
And I'm not here to talk
- about a study session.
- I'm here to say that,
For the first time
in my life as an educator
and an awakening
specialist, that I am...
disappointed.
In who?
Yeah, tell us
and they're done.
In you girls and your behavior.
But I...
I don't understand.
Is this what
they call... criticism?
Yes, it is, and I think
you all need some.
Mr. Sturgeon opened up
his hall to us
in our time of need,
and how have we repaid him?
Through prank wars
and dance disasters
and horrible manners!
Manners?
What is this supposed to be, a
young ladies' finishing school?
I thought you wanted
strong, independent women
that take...
I do Strong independent women
know how to treat their friends,
which is apparently something
you don't know how to do.
- Oh, nice try, but I'm still
- not talking to you, dude.
- Yeah, well, I didn't ask
- for this meeting, you did.
Wrong again, Melvin.
Yeah, that's right,
- I'm so mad at you I'm not even
- using your cool nickname,
- Which I gave you.
- Wait.
If I didn't set this up
and you didn't set this up,
then who set this up?
We did.
We need to talk,
all of us.
- I'd rather eat dirt
- than talk to her.
- Oh, I can arrange that.
- Stop!
Guys, Sturgeon might get fired
because we can't get along.
- Fired?
- What do you mean?
How do you know?
When Scrimmage came
and gave us a lecture...
Wait, wait.
Scrimmage lectured you?
Yeah, pretty freaky.
So we checked around,
talked to some
of our resources... we can't
really tell you who,
it's hush-hush, but...
We asked Mrs. Davis.
The Board's meeting tomorrow
to decide if Sturgeon goes
and Hartley
takes his place.
Whoa, The Fish can be a real
pain in the pants sometimes...
Yeah, but no way the Hall
would deserve Hartley.
This is all our fault.
No,
I'd say it's 30% us,
70% the Scrimmage girls.
Oh my...
But who's counting, right?
Well, 100% of us
need to do something.
She's right. Thankfully,
I have a plan.
Bruno!
It's risky, you know,
and may involve military
vehicles and a lot of penguins...
We do nothing.
Boots, if we don't
do anything,
Sturgeon could get fired
- and Hartley would be - running the Hall.
- No.
He's right.
Everything we've been doing,
it all has to stop.
But when Sturgeon
is having that meeting,
the Hall needs to be
the quietest,
best school
in the country.
So no pranks and no revenge.
Okay.
- Just to be clear,
- I'm still mad at you.
Yeah, me too.
We still have to tell the boys.
And I'll tell the girls.
For one day in
the Hall's history,
no surprises.
You gotta be kidding me!
A hot air balloon?
It is I, crown prince
of Malbonia, Francisco Diaz.
I ran away to come here
to be a Macdonald Hall boy
like you said I should, Bruno.
So, where's all
the fun to be had?
You were right.
It does taste like stardust.
So funny!
What's the problem, Smith?
George isn't a big fan
of the homeless.
I mean, where
do they even live?
But that's not what my look
of horror is about, O'Neal.
Am I the only one here who
follows international news?
Of course I am.
People of Malbonia,
something terrible
has happened.
Late last night,
our beloved prince regent
Francisco
was taken
from Castle Malbonia
by some unscrupulous monsters
who left a note with
only one word: Canada.
Franny, did you
write that note?
The Prime Minister
of this strange and exotic land
has agreed to help us.
Rest assured, my people,
when we find out
where Francisco is,
there will be terrible
consequences.
Awesome.
Remember Malbonia's
royal motto:
Never forget. Never forgive.
Never forget, never forgive.
Okay.
Wait, you ran away!
This isn't our fault!
This is a fair point.
- We just need to take him
- to the Malbonia Embassy
and explain what happened.
No!
I came here to have fun.
Malbonia is so boring.
I wanna be a Hall boy.
I can live right here.
Uh, no, no, no, no, no,
absolutely not.
There's already a waiting list
to be one of my interns. He...
Francisco, when you become king,
you're gonna be able
to do whatever you want.
But I already know
what I want! I wanna stay
here, be a Hall boy,
and make hijinks with Bruno
and Boots forever.
But Franny, we're not
gonna stay here forever,
'cause at some point,
everything's gonna change.
Whether we like it or not.
We have to fix this
before the Hall becomes
the middle of
an international incident
and The Fish gets blamed!
But even if you do,
to save Sturgeon, you need
to convince the Board and unless
one of you is a member, which...
Well, I do have
an aunt and uncle on it.
So they can come and talk
to the Board tomorrow!
No, no, no, no, no,
there's no time!
They live in Singapore!
They haven't been back to
the Hall in over 20 years.
There may have been
some legal issues.
Of course there were.
You know how it is...
- You run one billion-dollar
- Ponzi scheme,
Suddenly you're the bad guy.
Cathy...
I know that look.
So do I. Bruno...
you have a crazy plan,
don't you?
Feel like dressing up as a
certain aunt and uncle, Burton?
Maybe, Walton. You feel like
making an impassioned case
to the Board, convincing them
that The Fish must stay?
That is the craziest thing
I have ever heard
and there is no way it is gonna
work the way you think it is.
Of course not.
But whatever does happen,
Burton and I will
figure it out. Together.
Come on, George.
Didn't wanna touch you.
For the muffins!
I mean... for the Hall!
You're absolutely right, Franny.
- Break!
- Yes!
Peaceful and quiet.
As long as that lasts.
William, I'm sure everything
is going to be fine.
Really, Eugenia?
What exactly in the past month
has given you confidence
to say that? Hm?
Ms. Davis,
bring me... the speech.
Are you sure, Mr. Sturgeon?
Absolutely.
What is the speech?
Ready?
- Three,
- One,
Two, one.
Two, three.
What is that?
This...
is the speech that
Willy gave to the Board
when he first interviewed
for the job, and they said
it was the best speech they'd
ever heard about Macdonald Hall
that didn't rhyme.
And sometimes, on a clear night,
you can still hear the words
echoing down the halls.
And by Mackenzie's beard,
these words shall echo again.
William, I'm sure
it's a very nice speech,
but haven't you changed a lot
since you first started? Grown?
Blossomed, even? Don't you think
you should talk about that?
Don't touch it!
Oh!
Eugenia, I think
I've done enough change.
It's time to go
with what works.
Tradition.
History.
"To my fellow educators.
"A full education means
an ethical education."
And of course tradition,
the very foundation on which
Macdonald Hall is built...
Nice words, Sturgeon,
but you can save it
for when we get inside.
Oh, don't be too hard
on him, Ms. Snow.
I'm sure
Headmaster Sturgeon
- will do everything
- he can to keep his job.
Not everything, Hartley.
Just the right thing.
We'll see about
that, won't we?
Fish.
Yes, I went there.
Snow?
Please.
I can't believe it!
I, Francisco Diaz,
crown prince of Malbonia,
involved
in a legendary
Macdonald Hall caper.
That's pretty exciting.
- If you guys don't stop
- distracting me,
It'll be pretty over soon.
So long as Diane's drone
- can get the keys, we should be
- able to drive the prince
Out of here before the board
meeting is even finished.
And since I'm driving,
you know what that means.
We can test vehicular velocity
as it relates to wind drag?
No, man! Drive-thru!
I envy you, Wilbur.
For your simple pleasures.
There is nothing simple
about this.
- We have about an hour to hit up
- ten places between here
And the embassy. We'll need
some serious coordination.
Whereas I chose my life's
passion: science.
Yes, she has betrayed me.
Everybody else's
prank worked,
but my Viscositizer... nothing!
The irony, it stings...
like iron.
Uh-huh.
So, about that drive-thru?
Chris, we gotta move.
Time to do your magic.
I'm assuming this
is all unionized?
Why is he smiling
like that, Walton?
We're usually the ones
with the big crazy smiles.
Yeah, I know.
- It's kind of weird
- to look at.
Chris, what are you thinking?
And of course, what would a
Macdonald Hall board meeting be
without my renowned
tea biscuits?
Ms. Snow?
Why don't you take two?
Nobody's looking.
Looks like Mr. Sturgeon forgot
about your extreme gluten
allergy, Ms. Snow.
Carrot stick?
Thank you.
Stress eating again, Sturgeon?
Alright, alright.
Let's get this show on the road.
Wait!
Don't start without us!
We are on the board, too.
Hello, everyone!
Charlie Wexford,
and this is my beautiful wife
Brunhilda.
- Sorry to be late.
- Hello.
- Yes, sorry
- to be late, yes.
I'm sure if I was allowed to go
to the Hall, Mr. Sturgeon
would've taught me
about arriving on time.
And freshly baked goods!
This takes leadership, you know.
Well, speaking
about leadership,
let's discuss it, shall we?
Ah!
Fantastic idea!
Let's.
What is that horrible noise?
The keys!
You did it!
Was there ever any doubt?
- Not in you.
- Alright, now let's get everyone
- Back to the parking lot,
- and Wilbur and Elmer
- Can drive this kid
- back to his embassy.
- But I've barely
- had any adventure!
It's not over yet, Franny.
- The Viscositizer had three
- main elements
- Meant to work
- in perfect harmony:
Mechanical, chemical, and
what I like to call awesome.
It...
Why does it feel like
I'm at the dentist?
Get it? Laughing gas!
Why can't I work?
They're fine.
Just sleeping.
- What is this place?
- Some kind
Of infernal Canadian
kidnapping academy?
Once we have
what we came for,
we will free all the children.
For Malbonia!
And now, I think
the Board is ready
to hear statements
from headmaster Sturgeon,
- followed
- by Mr. Hartley,
- On what they
- think is best
For Macdonald Hall.
Sturgeon!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Honor and tradition...
are the, uh...
Oh, no.
Are the, uh...
Excuse me
just one moment, please,
if you could. I, uh...
Well, if Mr. Sturgeonpants
- doesn't seem to be ready
- for this meeting
which he's known about since
yesterday, but who's counting?
Perhaps I could go first.
Yes, please do.
Ah!
We'll see about that, won't we?
Fish.
What does this Hall
deserve? Well,
unlike my friend here,
I can think of a few words
right off the top of my head.
Words like "tradition"
and "honor".
I just finished saying
those exact words.
Let the man speak, Sturgeon.
Thank you, Ms. Snow.
What's going on?
My initial findings
would suggest some sort
of sleeping gas.
Just before I passed out,
I think I remember
some soldiers.
They were all wearing these
funny black slippers.
Soldiers?
Black funny slippers... ninjas?
Cool!
The Hall's in trouble. Not cool.
Stealing keys and smuggling in
underage dignitaries
is one thing, but... ninjas?
Sturgeon and Bruno and Cathy
are still in that meeting.
Maybe we should,
like, warn them?
Yeah, but...
ninjas!
Do my ears deceive me?
- You have the greatest school
- in all of the world,
And yet you are afraid
to defend it?
Well, I am not.
For the Hall!
You know what?
He's right.
Our school
is the greatest.
So let's go save our school
and our friends.
Sorry, who's that
crazy kid again?
It is he,
Francisco Diaz,
crown prince of Malbonia.
- The one you're doing
- all this for?
Oh no, I'm just in it
for the drive-thru.
OK, let's go get him.
Let's go, buddy.
Yup, definitely sleeping gas.
Which means we're in trouble...
and I know just what we need!
And that is what a school
like Macdonald Hall
needs in a headmaster,
which you will get in me,
William Theodore Stur...
Uh, Robert Jeremiah Hartley.
Oh!
Thank you.
Excellent speech, Hartley.
Thank you.
The Hall will be
in excellent hands
if run by the man
who wrote that.
Alright, William,
if you have anything
else to add...
Well...
Um...
I suppose that anybody
that is fa... familiar, uh,
with the, um...
I'm not a big fan of, uh...
improvisation. In some ways,
I find that, um...
Ladies and gentlemen,
I, Brunhilda Wexford,
would like to... would like
to say a few words
on behalf of The Fi... uh,
Headmaster Sturgeon.
No! Maybe not
the right time for...
My dear,
dear nephew, George,
well, to be honest,
is not my favorite person in
the world... bit of a snob really.
Brunhilda, Brunhilda,
stay focused, dear.
Yes, right.
This isn't about George.
It isn't even really
about Headmaster Sturgeon.
This is about change. Right.
Do you remember those things
we used to say to the kids?
You know: "Change is a part
"of growing up
and it's a part of life,
and change helps us grow..."
Ha! New heels.
Let's be honest.
Change isn't good.
Change means losing
what you're used to.
We had to change our mascot.
No fun, believe me.
You know, I think perhaps this
is not the best time to talk...
But that doesn't mean
it isn't gonna happen anyways,
to all of us,
and there's nobody better
at helping with that
than Mr. Sturgeon.
I know. I mean, uh,
George has told me
that Headmaster Sturgeon
understands that kids make
mistakes and they mess up,
right? Even temporarily...
take down a school or two, huh?
Isn't that right?
He cares about us.
Some change is good. Some isn't.
Macdonald Hall without
Headmaster Sturgeon...
Ha!
That isn't change.
That's just crazy.
Wait one minute.
You said "Sturgeon
cares about us".
You're not a student
of this school...
or are you?
Pff!
Whoa, easy, easy there, Hartley.
No need to pick on a lady.
Or is she a lady? Hm?
How dare you say
such a thing? I ought to take
you outside right now...
Get out now!
I'm defending you, dear.
Oh, please!
This is obviously a ruse to end
this meeting and save Sturgeon!
Show's what you know.
He didn't know about any
of this. He has no control
over any of us.
Not helping, Bruno,
- but you can
- explain later. Uh...
If everybody could just
please follow me, quickly.
Quickly, quickly.
Again, nice trick, Sturgeon,
but I'm not
falling for it.
Where's Jane Snow?
How can she just disappear?
- Alright, come on,
- keep moving.
- There's two more
- board members gone.
Not to worry,
I'm still here.
Hartley!
This way, let's go, let's go!
Okay, I know a shortcut.
I had that sealed off last week.
- Yeah, I know you think
- you did, but...
Other way.
Hold this. Hold this.
Hey! Are those my biscuits?
That's not working!
They're too light and fluffy!
- They're an award-winning
- recipe, of course they're light
- And fluffy!
- We need something more
Than baked goods to save us!
It worked!
Elmer?
Everybody duck!
Whoa!
Chew on that!
It worked! It worked!
All it needed was
a little more awesome,
and also a couple extra screws
in the backpack, but still,
the Viscositizer's a win!
Nice job!
- Okay, we need to find
- the rest of the board members.
Ladies, if you can hear me:
for the Hall's honor!
Yes!
Yeah!
This is all...
As soon as we have our prince,
you all will go.
But until then...
Hi, everyone!
Don't worry, we're gonna get you
out of here as soon as possible.
You're last.
Team one, where are you?
Come in!
Fire in the hole!
Pando? Is that you?
Save our school!
William,
what is going on?
Why am I getting texts
from my girls about ninjas?
Do you hear
what they're chanting?
Save our school.
Your girls
and my boys.
Speaking of boys, all I have
to do now is get Francisco back.
Sorry, who?
Uh, never mind.
It doesn't matter.
It's not important.
Boots, man, you did it! Well,
I mean, we did it. But you...
Bruno! Where's the prince?
I thought you had him.
I did, and... well,
then I didn't, so...
Wait, wait.
What prince?
Bruno! Boots!
That was so much fun!
That prince.
He's with one of them!
Save our prince!
No, no, no, no, no!
It's alright! This is Pando,
- head of the Royal Commandos.
- Wait, the Royal Commandos?
- Could somebody
- please tell me what is
going on here, exactly?
I would appreciate this, too.
And you would be...
It is I, King Balthazar Diaz
of the Royal Republic
of Malbonia.
Malbonia.
Malbonia.
But why would you
want to come here,
to this place of commoners?
No offense intended.
Because, Father, ever since
I became video pals with
Bruno Walton, I saw how much fun
you can have in a school!
- Even a school
- that is not a castle
And has no statues
of myself inside.
It is true,
I am quite fun.
But that is ridiculous!
School is not for fun.
School is for important things,
like learning how to be a king.
You understand this, yes?
Actually, Your Highness,
I happen to believe that when
you let children guide their
own learning experience,
their sense of self
engenders so...
I think what my well-meaning
colleague is trying to say
is that kids know
what they need.
I need a snack!
Believe it! Not only
endangering the board
and the entire school, but me!
Well, and you, of course.
While saving your hide,
Hartley.
While saving all of our hides.
Which the board has agreed
is a pretty great example
of how well Headmaster Sturgeon
has prepared his students
- for life beyond Macdonald Hall.
- What?
- Plus, any school
- that can make a prince travel
halfway around the world for fun
must be doing
something right.
I don't know what to say.
Well, I do.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
You know, she is right.
Yes. Miss Snow is
tough, but fair.
No, no. Your colleague, here.
The beautiful.
Eugenia Scrimmage.
Currently single.
Oh!
- I have ignored
- what my son wants
for too long,
and I will fix this.
And I will fix the school
for the damage that my Royal
Commandos have done to it!
Well, one down, at least.
I'm sorry?
Sorry. What my friend means is
that Miss Scrimmage's academy
was also damaged
a few weeks ago, so...
We have to wait for that to be
fixed, and... steam cleaned.
Or, you can allow me to pay
for one brand new school!
That way, Mr. Sturgeon
and Miss Scrimmage
can teach together forever!
No!
- No, I mean, I think,
- you know, when it's possible...
There is such a thing as
too much change.
Well! I can just pay for
both schools to be fixed!
Rush job! Around the clock!
Would you say one week
is too long to wait?
- Oh, thank you, that would
- really help us
- Let things
- get back to normal.
Wow. I suppose this means you
guys can be roommates again!
There have been times
When I was dazed
And confused
There have been days
When I only believed
In bad news
And there are places
That make me look away
No more bad smells,
here or across the street.
You know, I was just
getting used to them.
I wanted, I wanted
I needed, I needed
I needed, I needed
I wanted, I wanted
I want it all
But I still need you
I want it all
But we don't see eye-to-eye
And I still need you
And I still need you
Hey.
I can't find the little
basketball net that went on top,
but it's
around here somewhere.
- It mostly got in the way,
- anyway.
I got this.
Is it weird to have
so many feelings
about a pair of blenders?
I hope not.
Look, I never got
a chance to say...
How you got all those kids to
rally against those commandos...
- Well, hey. Probably wouldn't
- have been able to
If they hadn't trained
in the prank war.
Look, I... Anyways,
I'm sure, whoever
you decide to room with,
- you'll have a great time...
- Bruno.
And I guess the Fish and
you were right, you know?
Maybe we can do
awesome things separately.
Sure we can.
But it's still way more fun
when we do it together.
Alright. Where's that toaster?
Oh, right here!
Let's get cracking.
Alright.
- So I guess growing up means
- you can't keep everything
from changing after all,
like the Fish said.
But, if you're lucky,
and you have friends like I do,
you don't have to do it alone.
- How about
- some waffles?
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh. Yo. We gotta go.
There is no time for...
Balls?
Sorry, big boy...
Let's go!
- Follow the good and
- the right of the people of...
No!
A little more here!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Gonna make you wanna dance!
Let's go be wild boys
Like a fever burning up
Watch out!
Murray, if you please.
Uh. Where should
I put that?
That's my boy.
But if you hurt my son
I will come back
and destroy all of you!
Our dreams are
Begging to interrupt
Just like a pack
Of lions roaring
I'm sorry. That's rude.
Someone tell me
it's not your brains!
Just... Just sheer panic.
Let's go be wild ones
Like a fever burning up
Move to your own drum
No don't go giving up
Won't stop
'Til we see the sun
- What do we do?
- A cougar's in the car!
I don't like cats!
I don't like cats!
Does anyone have
any kitty treats?
Kitty treats!
I don't know, something!
I don't carry kitty treats!
I don't know what to do!
Elmer's skunk
pheromones, please.
There are three words...
I said four words.
No don't go giving up
Yo, is that Hartley?
Yeah!
Look at that nose!
He just made it bigger.
He just made it bigger!
Let's go be wild ones
Like a fever burning up
Move to your own drum
No don't go giving up
Won't stop
'Til we see the sun
Open doors
They're keeping shut
On your mark!
Ohh, that was close!
Cougar! Cougar!
Run back! Run back!
Let's go be wild ones
Like a fever burning up
Move to your own drum
No don't go giving up
- Won't stop
- 'Til we see the sun
- Open doors
- They're keeping shut
Let's go be wild ones
No don't go giving up