Bucky and the Squirrels (2018) Movie Script

(dramatic music)
The documentary
you're about to see
is based on an incredible
true story.
Some have said it's more
incredible than true,
to tell the truth,
that may or may not
be true.
But, while not all
of it may be,
or may not be, true,
most of it is.
Oh, okay, "most" might be
an exaggeration.
Let's just say that
a great deal
of this incredible
true story is true.
How much
is hard to say.
A number of the events
that happened,
or might
have happened,
in, uh, this
incredibly true story
could have happened,
and they may have.
We just
can't prove it.
one thing's for sure.
While the events
in this incredible true story
may or may not have
happened as shown here
in this incredible
true story,
there are definitely
several elements
in this incredible
true story
that have
definitely happened.
To someone at
one time or another.
Therefore, it is
with great pride
that the producers...
not all of them,
but some of them...
well, at least one
of them...
is, or are, proud
to present the
following incredible
and quite possibly
true story.
I'm Steve Schmidt for ANC News
on the campus
of Lawrence University
in beautiful
Appleton, Wisconsin.
This is where everything began
for Appleton's own
Bucky and the Squirrels,
the one-hit-wonder rock group,
back in the 1960s,
skyrocketed to the top
with their number-one dance
hit, "Do the Squirrel."
in the winter of 1968,
while on their maiden
European promotional tour,
the chartered plane that
carried Bucky and the Squirrels
vanished, never to be seen
or heard from again.
That is, until today.
Here, live from Switzerland,
is Mitchell Friedman
with more
on this developing story.
Mitchell: Uh, thank you, Steve.
As you can see, or maybe not,
I'm here in the middle
of a raging blizzard
six kilometers north
of the famed Zermatt ski resort,
where, only hours ago,
the storm uncovered
what has just been
positively identified
as the remains of the plane
that took the lives
of the American rock group Bucky and
the Squirrels. (loud background noise)
I... I apologize
about the noise.
What you hear in the background
is snow removal equipment
working to free
the partially buried wreckage,
which, as I understand,
is in near pristine condition.
(indistinct shouting)
Okay, thank you, Mitchell.
For Bucky and the Squirrels,
it all began here
in beautiful
Appleton, Wisconsin.
Amber: Appleton, Wisconsin,
is located here,
in Appleton, Wisconsin.
Before the Squirrels
were alive,
Appleton was known for three
really awesome things:
Lawrence University,
the second-oldest
boys and girls college
in the United States
of America,
and for being
the hometown
of writer Edna Ferber
and escape
artist Houdini.
Houdini is the man
on the right.
Edna Ferber, or "Edna"
as her friends called her,
was a short story writer.
Edna wasn't short,
her stories were.
Except, of course,
for the ones that were long.
Anyway, in 1968,
all that changed about
what Appleton was famous for
when the Squirrels had
an awesome dance hit.
The Squirrels were
Phillip Westerbrook,
Randy Cunningham,
Douglas Wilson,
and Thomas
"Bucky" Fuller.
And they became
childhood friends
when they were children.
Here's a picture of them
back then.
Over the years,
they grew older.
And in addition
to the many awesome things
they had in common...
like being friends and like
being from Appleton
and being in high school
together and stuff...
they shared a love
of rock-and-roll music
and formed
a rock-and-roll band.
They decided to call the band
the Appletones, so they did.
They played locally
at local clubs.
But they were so bad
that they not only
had to play for free,
they even had to pay
to get in, too,
which really sucked.
After a couple of years,
suddenly they met a talent
agent named Mort Fishbeck,
who was a talent agent.
Because many successful bands
back then had animal names,
such as...
...Mort changed their name
from the Appletones
to the Squirrels.
Then they wrote
"Do the Squirrel,"
which was an original song
they wrote themselves.
They probably would have
written some more,
but they couldn't
because they died first.
A big thanks
to Harvey Weinstein,
whose father does videos
for weddings
and Jewish bar mitzvahs,
who helped me
put this thing together.
Thanks again, Harvey.
People let me tell ya
'bout my best friend
He's a warm-hearted person
who'll love me till the end
People let me tell you
'bout my best friend
He's a one boy cuddly toy
My up, my down,
my pride and joy
People let me tell ya
'bout him
He's so much fun
Whether we're talking
man to man
Or whether we're talking
son to son
'Cause he's my best friend
Yeah, he's my best friend
You already know that they
died in a plane crash.
Well, something almost
worse happened to them
before they died.
When they were performing
at a club,
someone put something
into everyone's drinks,
and a couple of months later,
a waitress said
one of the Squirrels, Phil,
knocked her up.
Everybody was
so out of it.
Nobody could remember.
So Phil married her.
Here's the wedding invitation
they used to invite people.
Once that was over,
Mort got the Squirrels
on a local TV teen dance show
in Appleton,
hosted by host
Dave Madden.
Let's hear it for
our guests today,
Bucky and the Squirrels.
No offense, but how the heck
do you talk with these things?
Uh, those are fake
and these are real.
Good point. Now, which one
of you is Bucky?
Only kidding.
Bucky, how about introducing
the rest of the band?
Oh, sure.
Phil, this is Randy.
Randy, this is Phil.
Doug, Randy, Phil.
Nice to meet you, Randy.
If you don't mind, I'd like
to ask you a question.
Now, many groups, bands...
groups, if you will...
have members who are
related to each other.
Brothers, sisters, cousins.
Are any of you related?
All: No.
I understand one of you
just got married.
Which one of you is Phil?
(girls giggling)
(clears throat)
That's me.
Oh! So who's
the unlucky girl?
Only kidding.
Who's the lucky girl?
Ah, don't be shy.
Tell us all about it.
Well, not all about it,
because we are on TV.
Let's start with how
you met.
It's a very long story, so...
probably don't have enough time,
we should probably skip that...
He knocked up a waitress.
Phil: ...a little bit.
Girl: I wonder why.
Tell us.
So, um...
So, uh...
Oh, how about favoring us
with a performance, Rocky?
It's, uh, Bucky.
Uh, right, um,
I was confusing you
with Rocky
the Flying Squirrel.
You know,
Rocky and Bullwinkle?
"Hey, you wanna see me pull
a rabbit out of my hat?"
That's Bullwinkle.
Um, I believe it's Rocky.
- No, it's Bullwinkle.
- It's Bullwinkle.
Okay, fine, it's Bullwinkle.
I'm sure a lot of people
confuse the two, so...
I don't.
No, one's a very tall moose,
one's a small...
Fine, great, everybody,
Rocky and the Squirrels!
It's Bucky, actually.
- Girl 1: Yay!
- Girl 2: I love you, Bucky!
Well, here's a brand-new dance
that's makin' news
So come on, come on,
get your dancin' shoes
Move your hips
Twist and twirl
Grab your guy
Grab your girl
Shake your tail
We're gonna do the Squirrel
To the left, to the right,
You can do it all night
Do the squirrel
Move it back, move it forth,
to the south, to the north
Do the Squirrel
Groove to the rhythm,
let your feet get to it
Feel the beat,
anyone can do it
One, two, three,
come dance with me
And do the Squirrel
From Maine to California
They're Squirrelin'
in the street
Squirrelin' down
the avenue
Everywhere you go,
everyone you meet
Is gonna do
the Squirrel with you
To the left, to the right,
you can do it all night
Do the Squirrel
Move it back, move it forth,
to the south, to the north
Do the Squirrel
Groove to the rhythm,
let your feet get to it
Feel the beat,
anyone can do it
1, 2, 3,
come dance with me
And do the Squirrel
(scattered applause,
giggles, laughter)
(cheering, applause)
Sadly, as we know,
Bucky and the Squirrels
never completed
their ill-fated tour.
With more on the story,
live from downtown Appleton,
here's Barbara Harris.
Barbara Harris here
in front of Squirrel Mania,
a combination local retail
and local shrine
to Bucky and the Squirrels.
Let's look inside.
Grab your girl
Shake your tail...
Follow me, we're gonna try
to get an interview
with Mort Fishbeck,
the manager of the Squirrels.
(song continues)
Mr. Fishbeck.
Do the Squirrel
Mr. Fishbeck!
Move it back, move it forth,
to the south, to the north
Do the Squirrel
Are you crazy?
You scared the hell out of me.
I'm sorry.
You're sorry?
I practically wet myself.
You could have just
walked up and said,
"Excuse me,
Mr. Fishbeck."
I did.
Oh. So, what can I
do for you?
Would you mind turning
the music down?
Would you mind if I
turned the music down?
Hang on a second.
From Maine to California...
Too much loud rock-and-roll.
But I guess if it isn't loud,
it isn't rock-and-roll, is it?
Should have worn earplugs.
Reminds me, hang on a second.
Squirrel earplugs.
See? They're shaped
like peanuts, get it?
Squirrels, peanuts?
Wanna buy some?
Maybe later.
Half off.
Maybe later.
Mr. Fishbeck,
I'm sure you know
that the plane that was
carrying the Squirrels
was just found.
Yeah, it breaks my heart.
The thought of those kids
frozen for 50 years
like Popsicles.
You know, if you don't count my
brothers, Sid and Marty,
those boys were
the brothers I never had.
I was supposed to be
on the next plane.
I still have
all their instruments.
Got their clothes upstairs.
That's all I've got left.
Can you tell us about the first
time you heard the Squirrels?
Oh, awful.
Beyond awful.
Every song, note for note,
right off the sheet music.
It was like being trapped
in an elevator.
And it is my understanding
that in those days,
Bucky was
in the background.
Oh, he was so far
in the background,
he was in
a different zip code.
He was embarrassed because
of his buck teeth.
Could open up
a pop bottle with 'em.
I said to him, "Shmuck!
Being different is
a good thing.
It makes you sound
I said to him,
"You don't want to end up
like the Barlow Brothers,
do you?"
I rest my case.
Oh, and now we go to Steve
Schmidt for a news bulletin.
Barbara, I'm sorry to interrupt
this incredible interview,
but we've just received
an update from the crash site.
Here's Mitchell again
with that report.
Mitchell: Steve, uh, hold on.
The construction crew has just
dug the plane
out of the frozen tundra
and is prying
the cockpit doors open.
My God, I don't believe it.
Bucky and the Squirrels are
encased in ice in the cockpit,
and from what it looks like...
yes, this is really scary...
they're perfectly preserved
like mummies.
There's a lot of confusion
as paramedics have joined
the workers
and they're descending
on the crash site.
I'm not quite sure
what's going on.
While we wait on that update,
here's a sidebar.
British pilot Frank Fowler,
the captain that flew
the small chartered plane
carrying the Squirrels
to their concert,
panicked and parachuted
out of the plane.
He was discovered days later
by the monks at the monastery
of St. Benedict.
Out of a great sense of guilt,
Frank Fowler joined the order,
took the sacred vow of silence,
and has not spoken a word
for over 45 years.
Oh, just a minute.
I believe we have an update
from Mitchell.
(indistinct shouting)
Th-that's correct, Steve.
Experts in the field of cryonics
have just been contacted
and are unanimous
in their assessment.
If it is at all possible
to revive any of the Squirrels,
the shock of their awakening
in unfamiliar surroundings
could cause
irreparable psychic damage.
Consequently, it was decided
that they be airlifted
back to a facility
in their hometown
of Appleton, Wisconsin.
Uh, what you hear
in the background
is the arrival of four
CH-47F Chinook cargo
evac helicopters.
The ground crew has loaded
the entombed frozen bodies
into the aircrafts
and they've taken off,
a sight I'm sure
many of your viewers
will never forget.
(indistinct shouting)
Man: Here in Appleton Cryonics,
we're fortunate in having
some of the world's
most sophisticated
defrosting equipment.
(bell dings)
But what's the surprise?
Everything in this place
is ice-cold.
I'm here with
Dr. Albert Fisher,
director of
Appleton Cryonics.
I'm sorry, doctor,
you were saying?
Uh... Oh, right.
The equipment here is
the finest anywhere.
Although, I must admit,
until, uh, now,
we haven't had
the opportunity
to actually try
any of it out.
And I just want
to make clear
that we did not
freeze the Squirrels.
If they don't,
you know, pull through
or end up taking
a dirt nap,
we're not responsible.
I'm sorry,
do you mind my asking
what your
specialty is?
Oh, I don't think
that's important.
Well, I think our viewers would
probably like to know.
Uh, well, I'm not
an actual medical doctor.
Okay, then your
training is in...?
Something else.
And that would be...?
motel management.
Really? Because I would
have thought it would be...
No, it's okay, a lot
of people make that mistake.
So, what is going on
in here?
Uh, uh, research.
You know, scientific stuff.
I try not to get involved.
Uh, here, follow me.
Woman: Dr. Winston, you're
wanted in Preservation Lab.
Dr. Winston, you're wanted
in Preservation Lab.
Anyone in the vicinity
of the Bio Lab,
please report to assistance.
Oh. One second.
Hah! Hmm.
Wait, that's what you call it,
When you come up with a better
name, let me know.
Oh, doctor, I've never seen
such elaborate equipment.
what is this large,
electronic system
in the corner?
Oh, that's
our sound system.
When we're not using the
equipment to defrost people,
the room doubles
as a tanning salon.
Woman: I can't believe what's happening
here! You must come and see!
- Man 1: Tissue regeneration...
- Man 2: The vitals aren't normal.
Well, I'll be damned.
overlapping comments)
L-ladies and gentlemen,
what you are witnessing
is truly
This is
a scientific first!
(alarm wailing)
Whoa, what's that?
Oh, that's lunch.
What's today, Wednesday?
Ugh! Split pea soup.
(alarms beeping)
I'm here in the recovery room
of Appleton Cryonics,
where, miraculously,
all four of the Squirrels
were resuscitated two days ago.
Appleton Cryonics has given us
permission to film here
and record the event
while they document the recovery
of the Squirrels, for research
and insurance purposes.
Let's go to the Squirrels.
Good morning!
Good morning.
Good morning.
(clears throat)
Good morning.
Can you say good morning?
(Squirrels murmuring)
This is Dr. Adams.
She's our staff
(Squirrels mumbling)
I will leave you
in her capable hands.
Don't leave me.
No, it's okay.
You'll be fine.
(Squirrel burps)
Adams: We all have
a lot of work to do.
You're going
to have to learn...
or rather relearn...
to eat,
to talk, to walk.
(jazz theme song plays)
Back in the '60s, the Squirrels
were unquestionably the most
talented rock group ever.
Of course, next to the Beatles.
Which would naturally
make the Squirrels
the second most talented
rock group ever.
Sorry, I take that back,
the Rolling Stones
were around in the '60s.
Which would make the Squirrels
the third most talented
rock group ever.
The Beatles, the Rolling Stones,
and the Squirrels.
Then again, who can forget
the Beach Boys?
Apparently, I did,
and I'm not gonna do that.
Because when I think about it,
I also forgot the Kinks,
uh, Aerosmith and The Who.
But still there's
absolutely no doubt
that during the '60s,
the Squirrels were clearly,
if not in the top 10, then,
minimum, in the top 15.
If you don't count
Jefferson Airplane
and Led Zeppelin.
And I think you
have to count them.
Think you also have to count
the Temptations.
And the Miracles.
And the Four Tops.
Dion & the Belmonts
and the Mamas and the Papas.
So, just to be safe,
let's say the Squirrels
were unquestionably
in the top 20.
Let's be safer,
let's make it top 30.
Or 35.
Or... 40.
Because now that I think
about it,
there was really a number
of great groups in the '60s.
The Four Tops, the Shirelles,
the Doors,
Martha and the Vandellas.
Simon and Garfunkel.
Jan and Dean.
The Everly Brothers.
Frank Zappa
and the Mothers of Invention.
Creedence Clearwater Revival.
The Lovin' Spoonful.
Gladys Knight and the Pips.
Gladys Knight without the Pips.
The Pips without Gladys Knight.
Then there were the Doors.
Sly and the Family Stone.
The Shangri-Las...
that's 456, 7 and 8.
It's just to say,
while the Squirrels were good,
they only had one hit, and...
Now that I think about it,
they only had one song,
which means that either
the back of their record was...
totally blank or it just had
"Do the Squirrel" on both sides.
To be honest,
I barely remember the song.
I'm not sure
I ever really heard it.
I was about 9 when it came out.
And... that was like
50 years ago.
And it was only on the charts
for a couple of weeks.
It's not like it was a classic.
I'm guessing, if the Squirrels
hadn't been frozen
and defrosted...
nobody would be making
a documentary about them.
Do I still get paid for this?
(sighing, mumbling)
Steve Schmidt here at Appleton
Cryonics with...
Joyceann Miller.
So tell our viewers,
what exactly is it
that you do here?
It's Joyceann.
Oh, sorry.
please tell us
what it is that
you do here.
It's all one name.
My mother had a hard time
deciding on names.
gets it wrong at first.
It's the same deal with
my brother, Bobdave.
Okay, well,
what exactly is it
that you do here?
Nothing yet.
I'm just starting.
But I was teaching
movement and music
at the Baby Badgers
Preschool over on...
Both: College Avenue.
That's where Dr. Fisher's
granddaughter goes.
And he called me up one day
and offered me a job
making three times
what I had been making,
so I said, yeah, sure.
Yeah, sure.
So, what did Dr. Fisher
say the job would be?
So, he said
it would be doing
pretty much what I had
been doing,
but I'd just be working now
with giant toddlers.
Steve Schmidt,
ANC News.
Boys, are you ready?
murmuring agreement)
(rock-and-roll plays)
Okay, come on.
Oh, we got
a leader here.
Anyone gonna
beat him?
Without running.
Use your feet.
Use your feet!
Enjoy your treat.
Everybody congratulate
your friend.
No grabbing!
No, no, no, no.
All right, give that
back to him.
That was his win!
Bucky, no!
Bucky! Back to him!
Hey, Bucky, I'm not kidding.
Back! Open! Open!
Here you go.
You did that fair and square.
(Randy howls)
That's right, that's...
Come on.
Come on, there you go.
Come on.
Pretty, huh?
I'm going to have to...
Ooh! come on, Bucky.
Come on, this way.
There you go.
On the path, guys.
On the path.
On the path.
There we go!
(Squirrels mumbling)
There you go! Okay.
Yes, that's right,
this way.
Come on, up we go.
Come on.
We've got
a situation here.
All right, everybody stay.
Stay, stay!
Stay, Bucky, stay.
Everybody like this.
That's good.
(Squirrels laughing)
We got it.
There we go!
Well done.
Whoops, stay.
Hold on.
We got a leash off.
Hold it, stay there, guys!
I got it, I got it.
Hold it, hold it.
Well done.
Bucky! Stay!
No bench.
Walking time.
Walking time.
(Squirrels laughing)
This way, come on.
Freeze, everybody!
Bucky, stop!
Squirrels singing off-key:
She'll be
Comin' 'round the mountain
when she comes
- 'Round the mountain...
- She'll be comin'
But sing!
- When she comes
- Yee-ha!
She'll be comin'
'round the mountain
She'll be comin'
'round the mountain
She'll be comin'
'round the mountain
When she comes
Mountain, mountain.
Fountain, fountain.
She'll be ridin'...
What's the problem?
- Mountain.
- Fountain
- Mmmountain.
- Fountain
Not a fountain,
a mountain.
Not a hountain,
a mountain.
'Cause she's going
over a big mountain.
She'll be comin'
'round the mountain
That's why it's
so exciting, right,
because she's coming around,
and what does she have with her?
She's a big mountain.
No, she's not the mountain.
She's going around...
She's a big mountain.
She ba... walking...
Yeah! Or riding.
It depends which verse
you want to do.
She'll be walking
'round the mountain?
- Mountain.
- Okay.
All: She'll be walkin'
'round the mountain
We can do it slow.
...she comes
She'll be walkin' 'round
the mountain
When she comes
She'll be...
'Comin 'round
the mountain
(slams keys)
(dance music plays)
Remember to breathe, everybody.
You're doing great.
Keep going.
Forward, forward march.
Very nice.
Where is Bucky?
Good job, guys.
Bucky, you're supposed
to be exercising, honey.
You're supposed to be
moving your body now.
And where did you get that?
Mr. Fisher's lunch.
Oh, hold on.
Guys. That's 25 minutes.
You can stop now, stop walking.
(music continues)
(Squirrels screaming)
Oh, no, no, no,
my fault, my fault!
You gotta keep walking
until the machine stops.
The treadmill
is still on.
Bucky: Keep going.
Joyceann: No, no, no.
No, I'm stopping it.
Bucky: Oh, no, no!
Stopping! Stop, it's stopped.
The machine stopped.
Machine stopped.
Stop! Everybody stop.
Good workout.
I'm here with
Dr. Laura Adams,
chief staff
psychologist here
at Appleton Cryonics.
I'd like to begin by
asking you your name
and what your
position is here.
Didn't you just say it?
Oh, yes, I did.
we'll just move on.
What about your
background and work
here at
Appleton Cryonics?
What about it?
Would you tell us
about it?
Oh, of course.
I have a doctorate
in psychology,
specializing in the field
of biopsychology,
and for the past five years,
I've been doing
theoretical research,
on what the psychological
ramifications might be
if someone were to be
after years of being
artificially frozen.
And what are
the ramifications?
Oh, um, at this point,
we basically don't know.
So, would you say that
at this point,
you basically
don't know?
That's what I just said.
Oh, boy.
Okay, there
you have it.
Steve Schmidt,
ANC News.
Okay, so now what we're going to
do is, I'm going to say a word
and I want you to say the first
word that comes to your mind.
Mon... key.
Birth... day cake.
Wa... ter.
Oh, sorry, sure.
Here you go.
Got it? Okay.
Homes and gardens.
seemed so...
far away.
Adams: Very good.
Very good.
You know, the Squirrels really
affected me in a big way.
I first heard
the Squirrels song,
uh, in an elevator,
uh, going up to the, uh...
to one of several doctor's
appointments that I had.
And, uh...
I was feeling pretty good
until the song came on,
and I looked
around the elevator,
and everyone started doing
this dance, the Squirrel dance,
and, uh, I was so shaken by it,
I pissed in my pants.
I wore black after I heard
the song the first time.
I was a happy guy.
But when I heard that song
and realized
how stupid society is
and how they go after
such crap...
I mean, they turned my
whole life around in a bad way
in college
when I heard that song.
I got deeply depressed,
and I was basically mourning
for myself for even appreciating
that song.
I... I blame them
for all the hundreds
of thousands of dollars
that I spent on psychotherapy.
It just triggered something
in me, and now they're back.
I'm sorry for rambling because
the Squirrels have gotten me...
I'm only doing this because
I need some closure
in my life now
with this group.
So, you know, I'm very upset.
I'm going to need a little rest
after this interview,
to be honest.
Dr. Adams is about to enter
the next crucial stage
of the Squirrels' counseling
when she reveals to them
the full extent
of what has happened to them.
My producers tell me we're
about to go live right now.
Yes, we are.
We now cut live
to Dr. Adams' office
right n...
First of all,
you have each
improved greatly.
You've regained much
of your ability to talk
and to walk.
Your cognitive speech patterns
and coordination
have all improved
Well done, everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
quite welcome.
So are you.
So, I think it's time
to explain something to you,
why we have kept you
from the rest
of the outside world.
It was to be certain
that you had the tools
understand, react to,
and psychologically deal
with what I'm about
to tell you.
Why uh-oh?
Bucky's worried,
that's why uh-oh.
Well, I'm not worried.
Well, I am.
Well, I'm not.
Well, I am.
Okay, boys.
I'm not.
But I am.
Adams: Boys,
focus, please.
- I'm not.
- But I...
I know.
I need to caution you that,
at first,
this may be very difficult
for you to understand
and accept.
Okay, now I'm worried.
I am, too.
When your plane crashed
and you were buried
in the snow,
it wasn't, as you believe,
for a relatively
short time.
It was longer.
It was longer?
Yes, longer.
How much longer?
Like a couple
of days longer?
Much longer.
Much longer?
Was it a week lon...
It was
longer than a week?
It wasn't a week.
It was longer.
It was...
It was actually...
for almost 50 years.
No. Seriously.
No. Seriously.
Adams: Yeah, really,
really seriously.
- Seri...
- Like...
Like, three weeks?
No, Bucky.
50 years.
(symphonic soundtrack swells)
50 years?
50 years.
50 years.
50 years.
The shock that the Squirrels
had virtually been
in a state
of suspended animation
for the last near half-century
finally registered with them.
Dr. Adams
has spent the last week
giving them a crash course
in the last 50 years
of cultural history.
Woman, whispering:
This just came in.
This just in.
The pilot of the Squirrels'
downed aircraft,
Captain Frank Fowler...
now Father Fowler...
has just learned that
the Squirrels didn't perish,
but were all found alive.
Now, if you recall,
Father Fowler,
out of guilt for parachuting
from the plane,
joined a monastic order,
took a sacred vow of silence,
and has not spoken
in nearly 50 years.
Upon learning the news,
the shock apparently caught
the father off guard.
He blurted out "holy shit"
and was promptly excommunicated.
Uh, I would like to apologize
to the viewers at home
for my language.
I just was...
handed this report
directly off the wire.
Did not have a chance
to proof it.
I, of course, would never
have intentionally
said "shit" on the air.
We now cut...
live to Dr. Adams' office,
where she is completing
her presentation.
So, I know you all must
have a bunch of questions.
Who would like to go first?
What's dubstep?
What, and boba ball
in the tea?
It's in the tea?
Tell me again what
the Kardashians are famous for.
I wanna see
Phil Westerbrook.
Uh, excuse me,
we're in session.
Can you tell me what
this is regarding?
Oh, my God, you look
exactly the same.
I mean, exactly!
This is freaky.
This is also very inappropriate.
Who are you?
Anna Russo?
I'm Anna Russo,
I was his wife.
Your wife.
Until you were dead.
And then I took the insurance
money and bought a condo.
And you're here
Because my shrink told me
that I had to apologize to Phil
for forcing him to marry me.
You have nothing
to apologize for.
Oh, yes I do!
Junior, get in here!
I'm sorry. Out!
Adams: Yeah, you just...
You should go.
Why don't you just...
you have a seat, honey.
Sit down,
sit down.
Yeah, sit down, Phil.
Let's move on.
Yeah. Okay.
Well, since we've already had
one unannounced visitor,
I might as well tell you
that there is someone else
who has been waiting
patiently to see you.
Uh, it's actually someone
who I think you guys
are going to be
very happy to see.
Is it Elvis?
No. It's your agent,
Mort Fishbeck.
Okay, so you don't
actually say that.
It's just for typing.
Mr. Fishbeck,
if you could...
Be right there.
Here he comes.
Some old guy's
wearing Mort's clothes.
No, no, it's me, it's Mort.
Remember the Squirrel salute?
All: Mort!
Look at you guys.
Oh, look at you guys!
Look at you!
Oh, look at you.
Oh, look at you!
Look at you.
Look at you.
If I were representing
the Mormon
Tabernacle Choir,
I'd be squeezing
faces all day!
You remember them,
it's like a big group of people,
the Mormon...
So, listen...
Besides being frozen in a crashed
plane for 50 years, what's new?
I had canned cheese.
I've gotta pee
so much!
What is this?
Oh, my landlord won't
let me have a cat.
Now, that was a joke.
You get it?
Come on, you guys.
Gimme a hug.
He's being silly.
Oh, God, oh, that hurts.
Oh, it's Mort.
I can't breathe, hold it.
Lean back a little.
...experience in
hot and cold protection.
From an independent
family-owned business
that's never been afraid
to give you
exactly what's right
for your engine...
Mort, maybe we could do
a commercial for them.
We were frozen, now we're not.
Peak Antifreeze.
Mmm, delicious.
No, no, no, you don't drink it.
It's antifreeze, it's for cars.
Yeah, it's for cars.
Cars drink it.
Yeah, I know.
I was being silly.
He was
just being silly.
Yeah, Mort, Randy is
very good at being silly.
Hey, hey, Mort.
Remember when I was shy,
and you said,
"Don't be so shy"?
And then I wasn't
shy anymore.
And, Mort, remember when you
were gone for like a few months,
and you came back
much tanner
and we asked you
where you were
and you were like...
(strained voice)
"I was..."
Remember when you said,
"I don't have my wallet,
let's get outta here"?
He said that one
a lot.
That was one
of his favorites.
Hope he likes
the crust.
Give him a bite.
His hair...
was that his hair?
His eyebrows
are reaching for it.
His hair and his eyebrows
are becoming one.
Guys, guys.
He's sleeping.
We can put the naughty
channel on.
(laughing, shouting)
"And then the banks received
another bailout."
When I was a toddler
back in Long Island,
there was this sweet
little woman
who lived across
the hall from us.
Her name was Duda,
and my mom thinks maybe she was
Hungarian or something.
Um, anyway, Duda spoke
hardly any English,
so all we really knew about her
was her name
and that, whenever Duda
heard me crying,
she'd rush across the hall
and pick me up
and rock me in her arms
and sing this Hungarian lullaby.
And miraculously,
I'd instantly fall asleep.
One second, please,
I'm sorry.
Um, one day, Duda was gone.
She moved away.
And we never heard
from her again.
And then recently my mom
saw a picture of the Squirrels
on the news
and she remembered that Duda
used to have
the same exact picture
of the Squirrels
hanging on her wall
in her apartment.
Really weird, right?
Um, so, when we heard
about this documentary,
we thought that,
when it came out,
maybe Duda would go see it
and see me in it
and somehow we'd be able
to reunite with her.
And with that in mind,
here is the lullaby that...
in Hungarian, I think...
that Duda used to sing to me.
In pretty much her only English,
she called it "Duda's Girl."
Dare's a brand-new danz dat
makena newza
So comme ah, comme ah
Puddona ure danza choosa
Dona vee shy
Gib it a whirla
Grav'd ure guy
Grav'd ure girla
Shaka ure tay-ay-ay
Thee gonna do da skirl
I love you, Duda.
Dad, Mom.
So nice...
You guys look...
a little different.
Just a little.
These are Doug's parents.
Adams: Oh, uh, Doug...
Could you come here
a second?
These are actually
your parents.
Oh, hi!
Doug: It's been...
I was frozen.
- Dad: Wow.
- Doug: But now I see it.
Dad: This makes more sense.
Bucky: So...
how's the dog?
Look it!
You definitely...
- Group hug.
- Everybody.
- Group hug!
- Squirrel...
Squirrel hug!
Squirrel nest!
Whoa! Wow!
She'll be comin' 'round
the mountain when she comes
She'll be comin' 'round
the mountain when she comes
She'll be comin' round
the mountain
She'll be comin'
'round the mountain
The wheels on the bus
go round and round
Round and round
I wanna get
ice cream!
Squirrels, shouting:
Ice cream! Ice cream!
Adams: Yeah, we'll get
ice cream later.
We have to get
ice cream.
Adams: Bucky, hurry up, there
are people waiting in line.
- I can't!
- Yes, you can.
Um, okay, maybe
I could have four.
No, just one.
Okay, maybe just two,
No, everyone got
just one, okay?
Pick one.
Okay, I'm going
to go with that.
strawberry swirl.
Oh, okay.
It looks delicious.
Oh, yeah, just take that one.
That's fine.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Are you okay?
Oh, no, no, no, it's just
a brain freeze, you're fine!
Oh, Bucky, don't pick that up.
Oh, Lucky Bucky!
Oh, don't eat...
Oh, no.
I'm bored!
Let's go!
Shh! Okay,
inside voices.
We should clean this...
I'm sorry about this.
You guys wait.
The wheels on the bus
go round and round
Round and round
Round and round
The wheels on the bus
go round and round
All the livelong day
The wheels on the bus
are round
Adams: Good job, Bucky.
Okay, thank you.
Everybody out.
(rock music plays)
Let's go this way.
Go this way.
- Wow!
- Whoa, whoa!
(imitating gunfire)
Adams: Everybody,
let's go this way.
(horn blaring)
Bucky, no! Out of the road.
Out of the road.
Wow, wow, wow!
Wow, wow, wow, wow!
Adams: Squirrels!
No, no, no, Squirrels!
Wow! Wow! Whoa!
You can't run in here.
(Squirrels shrieking)
It's okay!
It's okay, wait for me.
(Squirrels screeching)
Adams: Okay, come on!
Calm down.
Everybody calm down.
Come this way!
Okay, wait.
This way, this way.
Come on, this way!
Let's go back
Come on!
No, Bucky!
(Bucky screaming)
Dammit, Bucky!
Come on,
let's go.
Bucky, I really like that shirt
on you.
I really like it
on me, too.
That's why
I put it on me.
Guys, I figured out
why they call underpants
'Cause they go under
your pants.
Oh. Wow.
Then why don't they call
the pants you wear
over your underpants
That's a good question.
No, it's not.
- It's not?
- No.
It's a great question.
Randy is very good
at asking questions.
Do you know why I'm so good
at asking questions?
No, why?
I don't know,
I was asking you.
- I got a question.
- Uh-oh.
Let's hear it.
If you were stuck
on a desert island
and you could only bring
41 things,
what would you bring?
- Underpants.
- Toothpaste.
- Maps.
- Toothpaste.
- Cold ice cubes.
- Maps.
Cold ice cubes.
- A book.
- A safe.
A book.
How many
is that?
If... if...
Who do you think would win
in a fight,
a grizzly bear
or a grizzly bear
with a mustache?
Is the...
Is the mustache
Do you guys ever think
maybe we never made it
out of the ice?
Adams, cheerily:
Hey, Squirrels!
How are you doin'?
All: Hi!
You guys look
so handsome.
- Thank you, you too.
- You look so handsome.
- That's a lovely suit.
- So handsome, Dr. Adams.
The three buttons,
good number.
You're wearing
a man's clothes.
Adams: Well,
we talked about that.
Women can wear suits.
Bucky: No, they can't.
You guys remember
where we're going today?
All: Squirrel Mania!
All right, let me just
finish my drink.
- Adams: Okay.
- Randy: Put it on this.
Adams: Okay, careful,
don't dribble.
Doug: Let's take this
with us.
Adams: No, let's leave that.
I don't think we need that.
Doug: We can surf it.
Let's go surfin'.
Come on, Buck,
we've got ya.
It's pretty big.
Guys... okay.
In case
I get cold.
His teeth were red.
Adams: We might have to bring
an extra diaper.
I'll get 'em.
We're all out!
- Randy, come on!
- We used 'em.
- We're leaving, Squirrel Mania.
- Oh, yell at the helpful one.
( "Do the Squirrel" playing)
Adams: This is crazy,
the line goes all the way
around the block.
How did everybody know
we were here?
Social media.
Facebook, Twitter.
Don't look at me,
I don't have one of those
Internet machine things.
Yeah, you do,
it's a computer.
Oh, I do, I have one.
You know, we are more popular,
now that we're alive again
than we were when we were alive
before we were dead.
I think your brain needs
to defrost a little bit.
Oh, hi.
I survived
a plane crash.
And who should I make
this out to?
Iris. Well, that's
a pretty name.
Here you go.
You're under arrest.
Steve Schmidt, ANC News,
here at IRS headquarters
in Appleton, Wisconsin,
where Bucky
and the Squirrels
are being charged
with tax evasion
for not filing
their taxes in 1968,
the year they disappeared.
If they'd paid
their taxes that year,
they would have owed
a mere $300 each.
But, after over half a century
of interest and penalties,
each of the squirrels
now owes $649,000.
And as a group...
or, as they call it in the animal
kingdom, a drey of squirrels...
that means they owe $2,596,000,
and are facing at least
five years in prison.
I don't want to go
to prison.
Who does?
Not me.
Not me.
Not me.
Not me.
Not me.
Mort, n-none...
None of us wants
to go to prison.
Who would?
I don't know.
Maybe someone who has
friends there?
Or maybe someone
who likes the food.
I bet that some people
even like
the prison outfits.
I bet some people don't.
So those people probably wouldn't
want to go to prison, right?
Unless they liked the food
more than they didn't like
the outfits.
When somebody has
a birthday in prison,
does everybody
get birthday cake
or just that guy
whose birthday it is?
Because, with all
those prisoners,
that's like six
or seven or eight
or nine or ten
birthdays a day.
Whoa! That's
a lot of cake.
What if somebody got
allergic to the cake?
If I was allergic to cake,
and I was in prison,
and they tried to make me
eat that cake
that I was allergic to,
I wouldn't eat it.
Me either.
What could
they do to you?
Oh, they could do
some stuff.
They could lock you
up in timeout.
They could rough
you up a little bit.
Maybe give you
the hose!
Or... or...
they could take away
your birthday cake.
I never thought
of that.
I don't... I don't want
to go to prison.
Who does?
Not me.
Not me.
Not me.
Not me.
Not me.
Who would?
maybe someone who
has friends there?
Or maybe someone
who likes the food?
I bet
that some people
even like
the prison outfits.
I bet some people
So those people probably wouldn't
want to go to prison, right?
Unless they liked the food
more than they didn't like
the outfits.
All right, come on.
Squirrels: Mort... Mort...
Mort... Mort.
Adams: Mort!
Bucky: Hi, Mort.
Hey, what are you
doing to him?
Come on!
Randy: I wanted Mort
to stay.
Sit down, you're just
gonna make things worse.
Doug: I knew that they
didn't want Mort here.
Mort! Sneaking's
not gonna help. Mort!
Cheese and rice
(Squirrels chattering)
Stay out!
Careful, he's...
- I don't wanna go to prison.
- Who does?
Just sit, okay?
Behave yourself.
Man: Hey, we told you
to stay outside.
Bucky: You're back!
(indistinct chatter)
- (sighs)
- Bucky: You can have my chair.
Phil: Why are you taking...
He has to stay.
Bucky: Bye, Mort.
Randy: Who does?
Doug: Can Mort come back in?
Randy: Can you... can we get
our questions answered?
(indistinct chatter)
- Bucky: Hi, Mort.
- Man: Not again.
Bucky, guys?
Are you okay?
Are you all right?
Uh, Mr. Fishbeck. What happened?
What's going on?
The Squirrels are doing
a concert.
As many of you know,
last week the IRS filed a case
against the Squirrels
for 50 years of unpaid taxes,
amounting to over $2.5 million.
In an effort to settle the case
and keep the Squirrels
out of prison,
Manager Mort Fishbeck
has represented that the band
is capable of performing
and of earning enough money
to settle their debt
with the IRS.
To that end,
Manager Mort Fishbeck
has scheduled
a test-case performance
right here
in the school's alma mater,
Lawrence University.
Several questions remain.
After 50 years encased
in solid Swiss ice,
are the Squirrels still
capable of performing?
Will they be any good?
And are they headed
to stardom again
or simply headed to prison?
We'll find out the hard way.
I'm Steve Schmidt, ANC News.
Okay, 1...
1, 2...
(guitar plays, stops)
1, 2, 3, 4...
(offbeat dissonance)
Ow, ow, ow!
Okay, guys, stop.
Stop, stop.
Doug, Doug.
Doug, stop, stop.
What's the matter?
Doug: I'm sorry,
it was my fault.
I couldn't hold onto my...
I kept dropping my...
what do you call them?
Uh, the hitters.
Adams: Yeah, drumsticks.
Doug: You'd think I would
remember what they were called.
Yeah, don't be so
hard on yourself.
It's gonna take a while for
things to come back to normal.
Yeah, but you would think
that I would remember
what these are called because
I use them to play the...
The drums.
I always forget
what the strum thing
is called.
But other than what's-his-name
dropping his whaddya-call-em...
The drumsticks.
Bucky: Drumsticks, right.
Other than drumsticks
dropping his hitters,
how do we sound?
Randy: Yeah, Mort?
How are we soundin'?
Phil: Is it good?
Okay, you guys want
the truth?
- Yeah.
- I'll tell ya.
Mort, can I just
have a word with you?
For one second?
Just, come on.
(whispering) They are very
fragile right now.
I'm fragile, too.
My ears are fragile.
I know, but they are
looking to you...
They're making me
They're not gonna
get it.
They're going
to get better.
You need to build them up,
not break them down.
Build them up.
Okay? Be nice.
Guys, guys, look.
I've never
lied to you, right?
So I'm gonna be honest
with you now.
You need to practice.
Trust me,
you can only get better.
And I promise, I will get better
when I stop dropping the...
Randy: Hitters.
The hitters!
The drumsticks!
Absolutely, absolutely.
Practice makes perfect.
You guys, keep playing till
I tell you to stop, okay?
Mort, they have more strings
than me.
You'll be fine.
You've got plenty.
Okay? All right.
You guys play.
I'm gonna go take
a leak, okay?
Okay, Mort,
thank you.
(softly) Which will be a lot more
entertaining than what they're doing.
I'm gonna go
with him.
Yeah, great.
What do you think?
I think they're going
to prison.
(offbeat dissonance)
They couldn't be worse
if they tried.
Well, they're trying.
Steve Schmidt,
ANC News.
Dr. Adams, how
would you assess
the Squirrels'
progress to date?
I don't really feel
that I am qualified
to discuss things
that have music in them.
(dissonant music playing)
Mr. Fishbeck,
sounds as though
the boys are having
a tough go of it.
Really? Well, that shows
what little you know.
And what little you know,
you know even less.
They happen to be saving
themselves for the concert.
Well, there you have it.
From this reporter's
if this concert
is as big a disaster
as it seems destined to be,
to quote the Beatles,
the Squirrels will have
"a ticket to ride"
straight to prison.
And my baby do care.
Phil: I don't wanna go
to prison.
Steve Schmidt, ANC News.
(rock guitar plays)
Steve Schmidt, ANC News,
here in the beautiful
Stansbury Theatre
on the campus
of Lawrence University,
where we're just moments away
from the much-anticipated
Squirrels comeback concert.
Now, full disclosure.
The building is surrounded
by IRS agents.
They're also in the wings,
ready to take the Squirrels
into custody
should they not live up to their
alleged performance skills.
But we're just gonna
think positive,
focus on the Squirrels.
So let's talk to some
Squirrels fans right now.
Excuse me, sir, ma'am, what
brings you to see the Squirrels?
Well, I dated Bucky
when we were in college.
Yeah, and she still has a scar
from a hickey
that Bucky gave here.
That's enough.
That is enough.
For live news.
The energy
is just electric here.
It's just like
an electricity factory...
of fireflies.
Excuse me, miss,
what about you?
Yes. What brings you
to see the Squirrels?
Oh, God, um...
Okay, well,
I just wanted
to see people
that were like frozen and then
like brought back to life.
And also, I kind of
have this like crush
on Phil, which
I know is weird
because like if he
hadn't been frozen,
I mean, which he was,
but if he hadn't been,
he'd be like
my grandpa's age.
And I know that's
weird, but like...
Yay, Lawrence, right?
But Lawrence isn't
my grandpa.
That's the school here
that unfroze them.
And, um, I'm like
super nervous.
Hey, Mom!
Hey, Mom!
Man: Ladies and gentlemen,
if you would kindly turn off
your cell phones
and all recording
This is it!
The moment of truth!
For the first time
in over 50 years...
lost, found, and defrosted...
(drum roll)
(cheers, applause)
And Doug!
Ladies and gentlemen,
Appleton's own
Bucky and the Squirrels!
( "Do the Squirrel"
CD playing)
Well, here's a brand-new
dance that's makin' news
So come on, come on,
get your dancin' shoes
Don't be shy
Give it a whirl
Grab your guy
Grab your girl
Shake your tail
We're gonna do the Squirrel
To the left, to the right,
You can do it all night
Do the squirrel
Move it back, move it forth,
to the south, to the north
Do the Squirrel
Groove to the rhythm,
let your feet get to it
Feel the beat,
anyone can do it
One, two, three,
come dance with me
And do the Squirrel
(crowd booing)
I don't understand
what's going on.
Not only does Randy
not do the Squirrel dance,
but on top of that, the guys
don't even look
like they're playing
their instruments.
I mean, we're gonna
keep an eye on things,
but so far, not so good.
(crowd jeering)
Move your hips
Twist and twirl
Grab your guy
Grab your girl
Shake your tail
We're gonna do the Squirrel
(crowd jeering)
To the left, to the right,
You can do it all night
Do the squirrel
(music stops)
(crowd heckling, jeering)
This is exactly
what I was afraid of.
It's very clear
to this reporter
that these boys are simply
not ready to perform.
And frankly, I'm not sure
they ever will be.
The bad news
is that the Squirrels
are going to prison.
The good news is that
they'll have a minimum
of five to seven years
to rehearse.
You know I have a weakness...
(overlapping protests)
Mort: We've gotta
get you out of here!
We're not just gonna
walk out.
You can't
go back out there.
The audience is gonna
eat you guys alive.
Can you blame 'em, Mort?
They came here for a show,
and that was not a show.
There's no way, Mort. They're
right, we're not leaving.
If we just walk away,
we'd be throwing away
everything we worked for,
and that would be giving up.
And we've never given up,
you taught us that.
Mort, Mort, we are never gonna
get another chance like this.
Especially if we're
in prison.
Adams: Wait, you guys,
Listen to yourselves.
No, Dr. Adams, we know, okay?
We know what you're gonna say,
we're not gonna walk away.
No, listen to yourselves.
You sound normal again.
What are you talking
about, Dr. Adams?
Sh-she's right.
Doug: What do you mean
she's right?
Oh, my God, she's right.
You're right.
I don't get it.
Me either.
I'm guessing the stress
of the situation
shocked your systems
back to normal.
I thought stuff like that
only happened in the movies.
It's happening.
I feel good.
You know what,
I think we can do this, guys.
I don't know about you,
but I'm going back out there.
Not by yourself,
you're not.
Come on, guys,
let's do this.
I'm one step ahead of ya.
Go, go, go!
(Adams giggles)
(crowd murmuring)
Please, don't go.
Everybody, please, don't go.
Just give us one more shot,
let us try it again.
I think I'm
gonna cry.
See... here's the thing.
I'm Bucky.
- I'm Randy.
- I'm Phil.
And I'm Doug.
- And we're...
- All: The Squirrels!
Hey, fellas, whaddya say
we kick it up a notch?
- I was hopin' you'd say that.
- I was hopin' you'd say that.
Turn me loose!
(rock guitar plays)
Let's get squirrely!
Ohhh, play it, son!
Well, here's a brand-new dance
that's makin' news
So come on, come on,
get your dancin' shoes
Don't be shy
Give it a whirl
Grab your guy
Grab your girl
Shake your tail
We're gonna do the Squirrel
To the left, to the right,
You can do it all night
Do the squirrel
Move it back, move it forth,
to the south, to the north
Do the Squirrel-irrel
Groove to the rhythm,
let your feet get to it
Feel the beat,
anyone can do it
One, two, three,
come dance with me
And do the Squirrel
You look oh, so fine
when you hit the floor
Do it once, you'll want
to do it some more
Move your hips
Twist and twirl
Grab your guy
Grab your girl
Shake your tail
We're gonna do the Squirrel
Yeah, yeah
To the left, to the right,
you can do it all night
Do the squirrel
Move it back, move it forth,
to the south, to the north
Do the Squirrel
Groove to the rhythm,
let your feet get to it
Feel the beat,
anyone can do it
Come on, dance with me
And, baby, do the Squirrel
From Maine to California
They're Squirrelin'
in the street...
I wouldn't have believed this
if I hadn't seen it myself.
Come on!
Everywhere you go,
everyone you meet
Is gonna do
the Squirrel with you
To the left, to the right,
you can do it all night
Do the Squirrel
Move it back, move it forth,
to the south, to the north
Do the Squirrel
Groove to the rhythm,
let your feet get to it
Feel the beat,
anyone can do it
Come on, dance with me
And, baby, do the Squirrel
Oh, yeah
Yeah, Dougie, let's take
those skins for a walk.
(playing rock lick)
They're Squirrelin' out
in Philly, P.A.
From up in Alaska
to Monterey
They're Squirrelin' in Chicago
and Santa Fe
From out in Tacoma
to Tampa Bay
Detroit City, Boise, Idaho
From Jersey to St. Paul
Wherever you go
In Appleton, Wisconsin,
Nashville, Tennessee
Everybody's Squirrelin'
Come Squirrel with me
A-come on
Come Squirrel with me
(crowd cheering)
(cheering and applause)
(music continues)