Buddies In India (2017) Movie Script

Give it to me.
You want to mess with me again?
Jesus, is the homeowner a monkey trainer?
This guy always makes a mess of our legal demolition!
We even don't know how long we'll be delayed.
Our stock has fallen out of lockstep (with the market) twice.
He's coming out.
- Just go! br - I meant for you to go!
I swear! If I can't demolish that rocky cave today,
I'm the son of a monkey!
Wow, the monkey house still hasn't been dismantled yet!
Come on! Just drop a bomb on it!
Who'd like to go first?
I'll give you a big red envelope! br(T/N: A monetary gift which is given during holidays or special occasions)
Pull it down!
Pull it down!
That's the idiot.
We're a listed company,
but there's nothing we're able to do about knocking down a small building.
It will be such a shame if this is made public!
Yes, exactly.
Just go!
Brother Monkey, spare me!
I don't get it.
Why is this so tough? It should be a piece of cake!
Tell me. Who's in charge of this project?
Xiaosen! I can say that for sure.
Where the hell is he?
Master Tang? That's him!
Master Tang came to help us! br (T/N: Tang Sanzang is the Monk in Journey to the West)
This is so much fun! Boy!
I was hoping someone would come play with me!
I'll let you try out my high tech weapon.
Master Tang is the best!
Beat him up!
Hero! Hero!
Dad, he bullied me!
Get him!
Look, we're in big trouble.
No wonder our share price is diving!
So, I have a proposal.
Get another person for this job.
if you're not feeling well, then just give yourself a break.
I'll just take care of the small things.
Chairman Tang looks pretty good!
See? Just look at his rosy cheeks!
He as sound as the Buddha!
What happened?
Do you think he'll get over it?
What will happen to him?
What does it say in my brother's will?
Tang Chasu...
He's still alive!
You know that day will come
and smart people plan ahead!
Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!
Dad! You can't leave me!
The will... I've already got it taken care of.
The will was given to someone in India.
Take this letter to India.
Give it to my contact personally yourself.
He'll then hand over the will to you.
He's in Nendu Gaun.
The man you fought with today,
take him with you.
You know that guy?
He can keep you safe!
Dad, I don't know what you're talking about.
You will understand soon.
You'll find out.
so tired.
Wild monkey! Stop it!
Are you looking for trouble? Monkey!
I just want to have some fun here.
Monkey King,
you need one more tribulation
to achieve the completion stage.
[Buddies in India]
Who's there?!
It's me!
I-It's me!
Don't you recognize me?
I'm the handsome guy, Fresh Meat! br (T/N: Slang for young and handsome)
Let me go!
Are you looking for trouble again?
What? Don't believe me? I'll kick your ass!
Let go, let go of me!
I'm here to get you out! I'm bailing you out of jail.
Who told you to bail me out?
Whatever. Let's be clear on one point.
I'm the only one who can set you free.
But there's one condition.
Come with me to India.
India? Which India?
Aankehein Khuli ho ya ho band... br (Whether your eyes are open or shut...)
Deedar unka hota hai... br (they will always watch your loved one.)
- Kai-- br - No way!
Why not?
Just looking at you makes me annoyed!
All right! Then you can stay here for another 7, 8, or 10 years.
I'm not trying to scare you.
You wounded 27 employees,
damaged three cars,
and one drone.
Total final property damage?
Take a good look at it.
If I don't sign the conciliation sheet,
your monkeys will become orphans.
It may even be worse than that.
They might even become monkey meat kebabs!
Someone wishes for Tang Sen to die before he reaches Nendu Gaun.
What do you mean?
You must keep close tabs on him. Keep him safe.
Let me go!
I'll be back home in two days.
If anything happens to him,
your loft...?
You mean it'll become five lofts?
It'll vanish clear away.
Tell me. Why did you leave the will in India?
Are you Indian?
Have you rode a flying carpet before?
I'm from Beijing. Arabs ride flying carpets.
Then did you know that you need a passport when traveling abroad?
If you don't have one, you can't board the plane. I'm not kidding.
How about yours?
Where is my passport?
What's that?
Are you going to get married in India?
This is called munitions. They'll confiscate the stupid things before you even board the plane!
Tell me. Are you retarded?
Who are you talking to?
Dad, why did you beg me to take him along to India?
You're a psycho!
How dare you set off the firecrackers in the car!
I enjoy the noise.
It's against the law!
Why didn't you tell me this earlier?
Dad, why did you do this to me?!
I've got no problem with you holding my hand,
but please don't interlock fingers with me.
Are you out to kill people?
My arm is broken! Broken!
Damn it!
What are you doing?
I'm asking you...!
What are you trying to do?
Do you think it's legal to hit people in India?
Do you think there's no police to stop you?
Are you crazy?
Why do you hit everyone you see?
That man was on the same fight as we were.
What's wrong with your nose?
Who did it?
Who do you think did it?
You're jealous, right? Because I'm good looking, right?
Okay, just take your hands off me.
I would've given you the money.
Just don't abuse me all day, okay?
I'm coming, Brother Sen!
I'm coming!
I'm fine.
Sorry I'm late, brother!
Stay back!
Brother Sen,
I work for BAO TANG GROUP- India Office. I'm Zhu Tianpeng! People call me Little Pig! (T/N: Pigsy in Journey to the West)
Look, we're all together in this photo!
Are you sure?
Yes, that's me right there! See!
Where's the welcome car picking us up
Brother Sen,
let me show you around the town first. Okay?
Wow, brother!
He's the person Tang Chasu wants us to kill.
You stupid fool!
We've been working so hard and it's only now you recognize him!
Let's go!
Look, this is Wangfujing; the shopping street of India.
My dear brother is coming!
[Prince's Suite]
What's our schedule for tomorrow?
There's a two hour morning flight tomorrow to Nendu Gaun. We're all ready!
There's no flight today?
There are no seats available today. I'll take you to a wedding for fun.
You know, a rich Indian's' wedding is unbelievable!
It will last for a whole week.
A wedding feast is a super blast.
There's video games and sideshows.
People go really wild!
It's very exciting!
Show me the card!
Really. I promise!
Let's go then!
Hee, hee... Good boy!
Wait. That jerk follows me everywhere. What can I do?
I miss you a lot!
Now's our chance!
Come on!
Who sealed this door with clear duct tape?
Be gentle!
Don't move!
You're hurting my brother!
Let me do it!
My eyebrow?
Zhu Tianpeng, he disfigured me!
Where were you guys going?
Why the hell do you want to know?
I want to go with you!
- No damn way! br - No damn way!
Follow him.
Brother Sen! Brother Sen!
Classic curry flavor!
It's made exclusively just for you!
Let me try it!
Have fun!
Take your time, walk around.
It'll be a while before the wedding starts.
What if it's toxic?
We're dressed like
the local mainstream people. True gentlemen.
Hey, stupid!
We're professional killers, so be gentle.
Are you crazy?
What the hell are you doing?!
Someone wants to kill you.
Oh, really?
Who wants to kill me?
I'm asking you guys. Who wants to kill me?
Who's the killer?
Where is he?
Tell me. Where is he?
This guy is trying to kill me!
Help me! Help me!
Help me!
You hit everyone you meet. Is it fun?
Tell me. Is it fun?
You're such a savage!
You behave so badly!
Where are you taking me?
Let go of me!
It's not safe here. Just follow me!
Safety, safety!
Do you have a magic helmet or something?
Stay inside here. Keep quiet!
- What do you want? br - Shut up and be quiet!
Stay here! Just you wait!
Let me out!
Excuse me!
Move aside!
Excuse me!
Move aside!
Shit, they found him so quickly!
Push harder! Hurry up!
Put it down!
Believe me or not, I can and will kick both your asses.
Get him!
Get out of the way.
Brother, why didn't you beat him up?
You were in my way! How could I do it?
Go ahead then!
Do you think I'm stupid?!
Give him the Death Attack!
Draw your sword!
Slam on your brakes, Brother!
I can't!
Don't run! Come back!
Don't be cowards. Come and hit me!
Tang Sen, are you all right?
He has been switched!
Come on! Come with me!
I looked for you everywhere,
but all you know is how to party!
Don't you know someone is out to kill you!
I want to play, too!
Stop eating and run!
Let's play a game of chicken!
Wow! Chicken?
Are you crazy?
You flirt with every Indian woman
and also wastes food!
You're just plain reckless!
I don't speak English but I know you bully me.
Just go right ahead, you bastard!
Don't you still have to go get that will?
Why did you drag me here?
Who are you anyway?
I got the wrong person! Sorry!
Hey, come back here!
You should apologize to me!
Did you see that?
Wu Kong! br (Note: Sun Wu Kong is the legendary name of the Monkey King)
This way!
No, this way!
We didn't catch that jerk! He's long gone!
He's just like a monkey!
Just like a Monkey King!
You fools!
Wait for my orders.
Wait! Wait! I can't run anymore.
Hurry up!
What the hell have you done?!
I'm just protecting you!
The blond and silver-haired men put the box on a cart.
They want to kill you!
Can't you see that?
Excuse me, but who locked me in that box?
Aish! Are you some golden retriever?
You're not even a husky!
I was almost suffocated in that dark box!
I almost choked on a damn light bulb!
I was almost murdered by someone's smelly butt, too!
Who's fault is all this?!
I agree!
Look at me!
Look at this here! And here!
This here, too!
This is all your fault!
Why am I the one who's suffering, but you get the profit?
Ever since you got to India,
you've been looking for trouble.
Have you become the VIP member in an Indian cop station?
Why can't you see the truth?
You would've died without me!
You just tell me then,
have you ever offended anyone in China?
They've come here to kill you!
Oh, my sweet Jesus!
Ever since I've known you,
I'm always getting abused.
My butt, my face, and all my internal organs.
You've hurt me from the inside out!
Just tell it to me straight,
why do you want revenge on me?
I bet we're long lost enemies, right?
Or did I drop you into a well in my past life?
Why do you screw up everything in my life?
Right, Brother!
I could tell that you weren't a good person at first sight!
You're a troublemaker, a broom star! br(T/N: A bad luck comet - MK streaks across sky on a cloud)
And a funny clown!
Brother Sen!
That's enough talk!
Let's go back to the hotel!
How can we go back to the hotel?
He hit people and messed around!
Are you sure the Indian Police won't eat us instead?
They're vegetarians. I'm positive!
You're so stupid! When I was on that stage,
everyone was taking pictures of me.
Didn't you see what they did?
Now, everyone recognizes my handsome face.
If I go back to the hotel, I'll get caught!
I'm here to get a will.
Not to go to jail!
I'm still young,
I don't want to end up in jail!
So, how's it going?
Is everything going well? Did you pick him up?
Wu Kong is a troublemaker.
A broom star!
Tang Sen's safety always comes first, you know?
Listen, you head to the Saree Factory right now.
I'll send someone to meet you guys.
Lady killer!
Is she coming to kill you, Brother?
Oh my god, is she here to murder me?!
Wu Kong! Help me!
I'm so scared!
Hello, Wu Jing.
Tang Sen is on the way to the Saree Factory.
Here's the place.
We have arrived safely!
Wu Kong,
wherever you came from,
just go back.
I promised I'd send him to Nendu Gaun to get a will.
I need to keep my promise.
No, you don't have to. I'll protect him.
Wu Kong, honestly,
it's better if you leave.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
We can't be happy together.
Do you think I want to stay?
I'm doing all this just to protect my house.
Don't worry! I'll keep your house safe!
Now you can go!
Just go, go, go! Go!
Hurry! Get out of here!
Stay away from me!
Are you serious?
Yes, of course!
Say it again.
I, Tang Sen,
the heir of Bao Tang Group,
I swear!
I'll never tear down your house! Now you can go!
Did he really leave?
Leave then!
Leave and never come back!
He thinks he's as popular as curry,
but we can still enjoy the meal without the curry!
Lets go, Brother.
This Saree Factory is all ours.
There are lots of beauties inside. It's so much fun!
My beauty can take one's breath away
My dear Romeo, be careful
My beauty can take one's breath away
My dear Romeo, be careful
You may come back, but you won't be able to leave so easily
I will fall into your embrace
and take sweet revenge in love
My beauty can take one's breath away
My dear Romeo, be careful
My beauty can take one's breath away
My dear Romeo, be careful
Gypsy. Oh, gypsy
Gypsy... Are you ready?
Wu Jing!
Are you excited to see me again?
Follow me upstairs. Hmm?
Come with me.
Why did you come to India?
I came here for you.
Brother Sen...
Sweetheart, I missed you so much!
Did you miss me?
Calm down! Wu Jing!
Calm down! Wu Jing!
Jing Jing, we're not close friends.
You know I was drunk that night!
I said I would love you forever
and kiss you 200 or 300 times a day,
have five or six babies in three or four years,
buy seven or eight houses in a school district,
but that was all bullshit!
I was just drunk-talking!
How could you take that seriously?
Whatever, I can't remember anything.
No, my dear,
you remembered it quite clearly!
You didn't even miss a word!
I clarified it all in the next two days.
It was a mistake, you know.
But you just stuck to me everywhere,
even set fire to my house!
I had nowhere to live. I had to hide myself.
Now, you see...
the flame of our love still burns.
Tang Sen,
I don't have to live on your love.
You said you'd love to take care of me forever.
You said you would marry me.
Now, everyone knows it.
I've even put our relationship status on WeChat.
Oh, god, I've gotten millions of likes!
They call me Mrs. Tang!
My parents have even made a clan hall for us.
Look. See?
Doesn't it look nice?
We're still alive!
Someone knows I hate your guts,
so he sent me here to control you.
You'll be killed in a little while.
What do you mean by "someone?"
Who wants to kill me?
If you treat me badly,
I'll treat you the same.
But don't worry,
I won't kill you.
If you're not going to kill me, then why do you have grilling tools?
Behave yourself!
Stay away!
Zhu Tianpeng, save me!
Wu Jing is going to eat my flesh!
Don't go.
Chat with me.
Let's do it!
Wu Kong...
I was wrong.
Help me!
Where are you taking me?
What makes you, baby girls, think you can beat me?
Oh, come on! Let me tell you,
I know Kung Fu!
I've taken martial arts classes before!
Darling, don't be scared!
Honey, honey!
I love you, my husband,
Darling! br [I'm an asshole]
Tang Sen!
Pay for my airfare!
Tang Sen?
Sweetheart, I love you.
Help me! Help!
Wu... Kong!
Wu Kong!
I knew you would come back!
Stop her!
Look, she is trying to grill me!
This crazy woman will murder me!
This is a lovers quarrel.
You'd better mind your own business.
I don't know her at all!
You don't know me...
If not, do you think I would do this with him?
It's just a photo from that party game, "Truth or Die!"
I can't believe you are saying that!
Look, here!
This is what I did for him!
I had his personal mark tattooed on my body.
Wu Kong, don't trust her!
She is a crazy woman!
My life is in danger!
You promised me you would be with me forever.
Did you forget?
I told you I got a bit drunk?
You mean you won't admit what you promised after being drunk?
My dad gave birth to me after drunk sex.
Doesn't that sound ridiculous!
Shut up!
You had sex with her after being drunk.
And now, you want to go back on your word, right?
- I didn't. br - Shut up!
The most-hated word in my life is "abandon!"
Wu Kong, don't treat me like this.
- I'll leave this dude to you! br - Let me go!
Teach him a good lesson!
Thank you, brother!
This is not good, Wu Kong!
Are you insane?
You said I was in danger when I was safe.
Now that I'm in danger, you're just leaving me behind.
Is this how you protect me?
Wu Kong! Come back here!
Wu Kong! I knew you wouldn't leave me alone!
The most hated word in my mind is also "abandon."
I knew you'd change your mind.
It's okay.
I can forgive you since you recovered from your mistake.
Pay for my return flight, I deserve it!
From now on I won't care if you die!
I'll give everything I have to you. Just get me out of here, please!
I'll buy a first-class seat for you! First-class!
What instructions did Boss give?
Kill them all.
Wu Kong!
Don't go away, come back!
If I get the will, I'll split the money with you 50-50!
Help me!
Don't get me wrong!
I'm finished with him, I've nothing more to do with him!
Don't get me wrong! Girls!
Wu Kong!
It's none of my business!
Are you all right? Thank you for saving me!
That jerk is nuts!
What're you looking at?!
Stop! Stop! I said stop it!
These crazy women did really well.
Come, come, come! Come on over here!
Brother Sen!
Wu Kong, help!
Brother Sen!
Tang Sen!
Tang Sen! Don't run away!
Come back to me!
I'm never letting you go!
Come back!
I don't want to see you ever again!
Knock him dead!
Knock him dead!
Didn't we meet those two men at the airport?
Oh, now you see it!
Yes, even if you tell me a stone gets pregnant, I'll believe it!
Catch him!
Wu Kong, help me!
We've beaten up the wrong person!
What do we do about Zhu Tianpeng?
Never mind, there's only one way.
Hey! My bicycle!
Brother Sen!
My brother will save me!
Shut up already!
Take me to Tang Sen!
If a man doesn't marry you even after acting the fool,
he is just not that into you!
Then, who is the one he loves?
I've no idea.
But it's not you.
You may have possibly fallen in love with the Mr. Wrong in your life,
but the gods will bring a Mr.Right to you
some time. Right?
You'll just have to wait.
Go to the hell!
You look like a spicy lobster!
Wu Kong, look. I feel like my breast is medium well done! br[I'm an asshole]
Why are you laughing at me?
Your mouth is as big as a frog's.
Don't take my picture!
This is not fuckin' funny!
I told you,
no more photos!
Look out, be careful!
Wu Kong...
Wu Kong.
Wu Kong, are you okay?
Thank god! You're alive!
Is it worth risking your life for a walnut?
Don't you follow me!
If you leave me, what will I do?
Too many people want to kidnap me!
I'm in real danger!
I did wrong, okay? It's all my fault!
I know you like taking pictures, just do it!
I'll do some modeling poses for you!
I told you!
Don't follow me!
All right, go!
I will tear down your house if you dare.
You promised you wouldn't do that.
Who said that?
It was you!
Do you have any proof?
Yes, I do.
You don't want to keep your promise...
Where is it?
Just show it to me.
Come on, show me your proof.
Let me see it. Nothing to show, huh?
Prove it.
Hello? Yang?
Yes, Master Tang.
Are you still at Wu Kong's place?
Yes, we're getting ready to leave.
Stay there!
Pull it down! Tear it to pieces!
How dare you!
Hold on one second.
Come back!
- Come back? br- Stay here!
Only if you promise
you'll help me get the will.
If you dare do it, I'll leave right now!
If you dare to leave, I'll do it at once!
You do it, then I'll just leave!
You leave, then I'll just do it!
You try it and you'll see!
If you don't care, leave!
Do it!
You leave!
Stop fucking laughing at me!
Stand at attention!
Pull... it... down...
Stand on one leg!
Pull... it... down...
Do we do it or not?
Hey, just stop him!
Put the plan on hold!
If I don't call you back after 24 hours,
destroy it in a minute!
What the hell do you want?
I did it to prevent you from going away.
Twenty-four hours from now,
as long as you're still with me,
it's only a call away. I'll handle it, okay?
Stand on one leg!
Come on!
Those two guys are gone!
Can't you do anything right?
Did your brains shut down?
Listen, we made the deal first.
How could you send another gang here?
You broke the rules, you know.
Well, let's make this simple.You pay me 2.5 million first,
then I'll hire a bunch of new faces for you.
I guarantee you, I'll give you a surprise. Okay?
Two crews couldn't even get it done!
I'm warning you: If you haven't handled him by tomorrow,
I won't pay you one cent!
How can he hang up so fast, acts just like a monkey!
Hello, Mr. Nine,
I'm calling you to ask a favor.
I'm retired now.
I'll pay you double.
I'm too lazy to go out.
You'll get triple the pay.
I prefer to sip tea at home.
Five times the rate.
I'll think about it.
They're all staring at me!
Do they want to kidnap me?
Hey, stop bothering me.
Pull... it... down!
Is he going to cut off my head?
He is just selling fruit!
But he has a knife!
So you just assume it's for killing you?
Everyone has teeth, so you assume all of them will bite you?
By the way,
I've no problem with you holding my hand,
but please don't interlock fingers with me!
Your hand is damn wet!
I gotta pee.
Then go do it.
I don't dare go alone.
Do you want me to do it for you, too?
Come with me.
I don't want to pee!
Pull... it... down...!
Sister, could you please turn me loose?
I promise I won't run away.
Why are you always clinging to Brother Sen?
Do you want his money, is that it?
Do you see me as a greedy woman?
I'm a serious woman indeed.
You can't understand because you're single.
Who do you mean?
I have a girlfriend!
She is very smart.
When I called her on my buddy's cellphone,
she even recognized my voice before I said a word.
Because she responded, honey!
Stop the car!
I have to pee! I have to pee!
Don't play any tricks on me!
I won't try any monkey tricks!
No peeking!
No peeking!
No peeking!
I won't peek!
No peeking!
You made a fool out of me!
Don't run!
Hey, what are you doing?
I'm calling my office in China
to let them know I'm being hunted.
Are you stupid?
So many people want to kill you now and you still dare to call them?
Hung up! Now!
I guess Uncle Lee wouldn't cheat me, right?
But how can you know that there's no one monitoring your phone?
Is your brain in the Power Failure mode?
You must protect me.
You're the only friend I have.
Who the hell is your friend!
We've known each other for all of two days.
Once I get you to your destination,
we will become strangers again.
You're a rich man, why don't you have friends?
It's a long story,
Do you really want to know?
No, you just check out right now.
How did you like our food?
It costs 1,700 rupees.
Delicious! You cook so well.
God dammit!
My wallet got burned up at the Saree Factory!
You grabbed my money, right?
I dropped the money when I saved you!
I got an idea.
What the hell do you want?
You can barter the watch to pay for it!
You can take anything, but not this!
Why are you so stingy? You're a rich guy.
I have another idea.
Sit back in your seat.
Don't worry.
He is rich. He'll figure it out.
One second, I'll call someone to pay it!
You should pay for your own meal.
See, the vegetables, flour, and chili peppers?
I bought everything from far away.
I was sweating like a pig
and stumbled a few times,
You can even tell since my eyes are not straight.
Zhu Tianpeng, don't run!
You can't outrun me!
You stupid jerk, Zhu Tianpeng!
You girlfriend called your friend 'Honey'
not you!
What did you say?
What did I say?
How dare you make a fool out of me? Silly pig!
Come with me! Find Tang Sen!
Let's go!
My foot got stuck!
Don't play dumb on me? Come!
I'm not lying!
The train is coming! Untie my shoelace, quick!
Come on!
You made the knot too damn firmly!
You can leave now!
Leave me here alone!
Let me die under the train!
No way!
If you die,
who will take me to find Tang Sen?
If you were my girlfriend...
Lose one leg and save your life!
You're teasing me!
You must take responsibility for me now!
Tell me, did you already know it would turn over there?
Go to the hell!
I worry that you won't be able to pay your way to Nendu Gaun
and you'll die of hunger halfway before you arrive there.
If you guys go attend the "Bull King" Chilli Eating Championship,
you might get a huge bonus.
It'll cover your travel expenses.
Remember that.
Where are we?
He said we would make money here.
We can make money here?
It's so spicy
This reminds you of your strict grandmother, it brings tears to your eyes
Ripe, but poisonous. Havoc on the tongue
Once it enters your mouth
it'll blow you out of your mind
What is bound to happen, will happen
The one who eats it all, wins
It's so spicy!
It's your time, dude!
Why me?
I cant eat Chilies. I'll go into shock!
The same with me. I will die!
Are you kidding me? You're a Sichuan person!
Not really, I come from Xingtai!
It makes no difference, whatever!
Sign him up!
Hello, hello, hello, he would like to sign up
He loves chilies!
Are you from Africa?
- Oh, no, no, no! We're from China. br - Ah!
Nice to meet you!
What did he say?
He welcomed us for joining their contest. Shake hands!
Who says I'm joining this contest?
You can do it yourself!
I h-have no interest in this.
I-I gotta go. Okay (in English)?
It's okay.
You are not allowed to quit!
I heard him say, "OKAY"!
Don't you see he keeps shaking his head?
Wait a minute.
He likes to eat his own chilies.
No, no, no.
He must eat the chili we provided.
He said, kowtow to him three times and you can quit!
Participants always cheat like you
and so he takes it for granted.
Well, Wu Kong, kowtow to the Lord,
then, we can leave.
What did he say! Ask him to say it again!
He insists to stay!
You have courage!
What did he say?
He said you looked like a good-natured minion
and you're a Mister Fancy-pants. br(T/N: Term can mean pretentious)
Don't shame your ancestors.
I'm a real man!
will join this contest!
He definitely can win!
Now, welcome the challenger from the East!
You're the best!
I can't lose face here!
Now we start!
It's so spicy!
You're the best! Wu Kong! br It's so spicy
It's so spicy
This reminds you of your strict grandmother, It brings tears to your eyes
Ripe, but not poisonous, Havoc on the tongue
Once it enters your mouthc
It'll blow you out of your mind
What is bound to happen, will happen
The one who eats it all, wins
It's so spicy. It's so spicy
Wu Kong!
Do you still want to save your house?
Our new champion is from China.
We won!
Wu Kong, we did it!
I said you're the best!
I bet that you'd win!
Are you convinced yet?
It is well-deserved!
You know, my instincts are always right.
Don't... rub... your... eyes!
My eyes!
Wu Kong! Wu Kong!
My eyes!
He's cheating!
My eyes!
My eyes are killing me?
Help! King! Help!
Easy, easy, easy...
Sorry! Your breast is swollen.
Sorry, sorry, sorry!
Get them!
Catch him!
Get my money back!
Run, quick!
I twisted my ankle!
I'll carry you on my back!
This way!
Crazy guys!
Are you all right? Stand up!
Holy shit! They have a vehicle, too!
How many?
Only one motorcycle!
I'm going to beat him one-on-one!
Hit the hot pepper!
There's ten people now!
Come on! Speed up!
Come on! Speed up!
Hurry! Hurry!
Speed it up! Hurry!
Watch out! Watch out!
Watch out!
Kid, Kid!
You bastard.
Dammit! It's blocked at both ends!
We're dead meat!
Do you want a fight?
Come on, fight!
- You think you guys are tough? br- You think you guys are tough?
- My buddies will kick your ass! br- - My buddies will kick your ass!
You tell them, they're our buddies.
Bull King can crush you between his fingers!
I'm telling you, don't run away!
You're not a man if you don't dare.
- Come on! Come on! br- Come on! Come on!
Come on! Don't be a coward! br- Come on! Don't be a coward!
If you quit, you will be my grandson! br- If you quit, you will be my grandson!
What should we do now?
What shall we do?
We cant let Indian people look down on us!
Don't make the Chinese despise us! Fight!
Fight them! Charge!
I'm so happy I'm stirring fried tripe
The son-in-law is a baby fat guy
I'm so happy. Don't cheat my buddy
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da
Fried egg with curry chicken
I have no land
I'm so happy. Don't cheat my buddy
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da
Make you mouth water, Aunt ordered curry chicken
Curry chicken is not available
T he brother ordered the same. Sorry no curry...
What are you eating?
Let's pick up some steamed bread
Wula~~ stewed guitar
I picked up some steamed bread
Wula~~ stewed guitar
Master Tang?
We're negotiating with Kuake Funds.
They've agreed to acquire our program
and are offering us double the price of other companies.
Well, just sell it!
But they put forward a condition to tear down that loft right now.
Just do it then!
I'll appease him somehow.
Money is everything!
Wait, hold on.
I'd better discuss it with him.
Hello? Hello?
Can you hear me?
I need a break.
What's the time?
3:00 p.m. Are you hungry again?
Time's up! Twenty-four hours have passed!
Don't let anyone demolish my house!
Call your men! Now!
Okay, okay.
Don't rush me!
- Keep my house! br- I'll do it!
Give them an order!
Don't pull it down!
I know!
Now I'm giving you a command.
Don't demolish the house today.
Never not ever!
Anyhow, not without my order,
you can't tear it down!
Thank you, Tang Sen!
I tried so hard, but I still couldn't save it.
You just made one call and you nailed it.
It's a piece of cake for me.
Don't worry.
I swear,
I'll protect you
and help you get the will.
I'll keep my word.
Knock it down!
Where to go, sir?
[Nendu Gaun]
Nendu Gaun?
I cant understand this, sir.
Take another taxi, please.
I'll take you there. I'll take you.
I'll take you there. I'll take you there.
It may be God's will!
God's will?
- You're a bird in my hand! br- You're a bird in my hand!
Get him!
We must get him!
Let's go!
Let's go!
What will you do?
Wu Kong, hold on!
Go get Tang Sen! Now!
Hey, you bastard!
Do you dare to respond?
Yes, I'll do it if you call me "dad."
Holy moly!
Holy shit!
Don't mess with me!
I bet you'll call me 'dad' after we're released.
Yes, my son?
What do you fuckin' want?
You have an IQ of 140.
You can pilot a plane, develop robots.
You shoot all the piggies in the Angry Birds game.
You're the best!
What the hell, you dared to get out!
I'll beat you!
I'll crush you!
Officer! That guy is running away!
Sir! Someone escaped!
How did you pay to get them?
Well, they're volunteers.
They did it for free.
The thing I hate most is abandon, too.
Can you shift into second gear?
Why are we still trapped on a mountain after such a long drive?
This mountain is so high!
I'm sure they're dead!
Hold on tight!
I don't want to get the will anymore.
Let them catch me!
They are dead!
Let's get in the car!
2.5 million! We have it, brother!
I miss my robot buddy!
I miss my hovercraft!
I'm dying for spicy pot!
Just enjoy my spicy fart!
Why? Why are my eyes burning?
It's the hot peppers I ate in the contest!
I deserve to eat your fart!
I deserve to suffer the hurt!
I'm such a loser!
A useless man!
What am I living for?
Tang Sen,
don't think like that.
You have many strengths.
Like what?
For example?
Go ahead!
Like you have a father!
Anything else?
You have a rich father!
Anything else?
Your father is a rich guy!
Don't you have a father?
Who gave birth to you, a stone?
I'd rather die?
Let me die!
The only thing on your mind is death!
If you die,
who will preserve my house?
House, house, house!
Your only concern is that poor house!
Do you have a house fetish?
Well, just go to your death, then!
Just do it!
Stop! Stop shaking!
I was wrong! Please stop it!
Thanks for saving my life again.
I promised you.
What for? That little building?
Yes, it is the place
where my brother and I grew up.
My grandpa adopted me.
Are you an orphan?
Where's your father?
My father?
Father? I've no idea.
Oh, so you don't really have a father?
That's why you hate abandonment so much.
After my grandpa died,
my brother and I took care of each other.
Brother! Here I am!
Come here! Play with me!
But that day,
my brother was washed away in the floods and never came back.
Your brother passed away,
so you...
No, he's not dead.
I believe my brother will come back someday.
If you pull down my house,
my brother can never find his way home
and he can never find me.
Have you ever considered my feelings?
I think your company is impersonal.
At least you used to have a brother.
My dad didn't want me to make friends since my childhood.
I guess,
he was afraid of losing me.
Since I was a little boy,
I have had only one friend.
This one.
Your right hand?
Where's your watch?
Never mind, I lost it carelessly.
Are you kidding?
Why didn't you tell them
you can take anything but not that watch?
Is it valuable?
It has nothing to do with money.
It's my friend
In my childhood,
I was very lonely.
I could only talk to that watch.
Imagining that it would transform into a robot.
Robots are more loyal than human beings.
They'll never leave you alone,
like your biological brother won't!
Do you think Zhu Tianpeng could find us?
It shouldn't be a problem.
This is the only way to Nendu Gaun.
Brother Sen, Brother Sen!
I tried so hard to find you!
I thought you were dead. Are you all right?
I knew it, only the good die young.
Oops! A cat has nine lives!
Anyway, are you okay?
Jing Jing.
I'm sorry.
You don't have to apologize.
I only have one question.
You'd rather jump off a cliff
than marry me, right?
Sorry about that.
Never mind.
No worries.
From now on, I'll never bother you again.
Brother, Jing Jing treats me so well!
It's true! She saved my life many times.
I swear, I...
I'll repay her with my life!
Yes, everyone should know how to be grateful.
I'm so happy I'm stirring fried tripe
The son-in-law is a baby fat guy
I'm happy, don't cheat my buddy
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da
Fried egg with curry chicken
I have no land
I'm happy, don't cheat my buddy
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da
Makes your mouth water, Aunt ordered curry chicken
Curry chicken is not available
The brother ordered the same. Sorry no curry
What are you eating?
Let's pick up some steamed bread
Wula~~ stewed guitar!
I'll pick up steamed bread.
Wula~~ stewed guitar!
I'll pick up steamed bread
I got a signal here!
Let me see!
No way!
Lend me your phone for a while!
No way!
Give it to me!
Just to see my monkeys.
I've got to go find something to eat.
I'm going to get some food, too.
You're all thumbs
We three play dice. We three play dice
You roll a dice that makes me jump
Let's do the game, kid!
Come on! Why wait?
Baby, come on!
Come on!
Try it!
Is it delicious?
It tastes pretty good!
You looked so happy just now,
why the long face now?
Wu Kong...
let me explain something to you.
Don't get me wrong?
Get you wrong?
You promised me, you'd never pull down my house.
Why did you break your promise?
No, I didn't break it.
When we were running away that day,
I got a call from my company.
They told me...
they had a big deal to close at the last second,
but only if the building was demolished.
I told them to hold on,
"Let me discuss it with Wu Kong first."
Then, I found out my phone battery died.
They didn't get it. So...
So, you hid it from me all the way here!
I was going to tell you earlier,
but I was worried that you couldn't bear it.
Please tell me, Wu Kong,
how can I make it up to you?
I can give you the legacy to make up for your house.
I don't need you to make it up to me!
Just give me back my house!
I'm waiting for my brother to come back!
Wu Kong, I know I screwed up!
I should have told you earlier!
I'm telling you, give me back my house!
My brother will come back home!
Your brother is just like my father,
they will never come back!
They're gone!
My brother is still alive!
They are dead!
He will be back!
No, they won't!
They will come back!
They just can't make it!
My brother will come back to me.
I must protect our house.
How long will I wait
until I see you smile
Wu Kong!
I understand
that the house is your only hope!
I'm a damn loser!
I didn't protect your house!
Sorry, I hurt you!
Left a hole in my life
Only if you yield to me
can my sorrows melt away
The past few days
were the best of days in my life.
You'll never make them stay
at the fork in the road
Stay with me!
When someone chooses to stay,
it's so hard to say goodbye
Never look back on the past
You have to let it go
Look, the man who keeps the will!
Hey, old man, where's the will?
Brother Sen,
he's coming to kill you!
Let's go! Hurry up!
What are you doing here?
Tang Chasu put on a bounty on your head.
My Uncle?
Wu Kong!
Such a crazy monkey!
Yep! Master!
The nasty brute, jumping around!
We can't control him!
You jerks just wait, he's gonna teach you a lesson!
Get the hell away from here!
I don't want to see you again!
Come on! Brother!
Brother Sen!
Get the money ready. I nailed it!
Is this the god stick?
I want to go back home.
"Xiao Sen,"
when you read this letter,
I believe that Wu Kong will finally be reunited with his father.
You two have known each other since you were little.
Back then, his father and I left the country and began to pursue our careers.
We swore we must change our fates.
We started Bao Tang Group.
When we were traveling in India 20 years ago,
I carelessly lost Wu Kong in the Hanuman Temple, located in Nendu Gaun. (A temple dedicated to the Hindu Monkey Deity)
Wu Kong's father didn't blame me.
At his father's insistence,
I had to come back home.
But he stayed.
While he devoted himself to Dharma practice,
he is still waiting for a miracle to happen.
He believes that Wu Kong will come back someday.
When I knew I had only a short time left in this world,
the first thing that came to my mind
was to send you to India, to find him.
When I recognized Wu Kong from the birthmark behind his ear,
you cant imagine how excited I was!
Even though I built up an empire of wealth,
I just can't let go.
Thank god for bringing Wu Kong to me.
I'm so happy beyond words.
By making the journey to India,
I hope you two can build a friendship and trust,
then stay together and benefit others in the future.
How strongly I want to see you get together!
I risked my life to save you in India!
But you haven't repaid my kindness!
Why should I repay you?
I will marry you!
Here you go. Love token!
I didn't keep your house, but I gave you a mountain! That's really something!
Thank you!
Take it back!
Look at this.
It is also made for you!
When did you redeem it?
It's not done yet! Don't be in a hurry!
What did you carve? A frog?
It's a monkey, okay?
It doesn't look like a monkey.
I got inspired by the baby monkey.
Am I right, baby?
Let's do more work on it.
Look over there!
The King is back! The King is back!
Come here, come, kids!
I'm back!
Come to me!
I'm home!
Did you miss your Grandpa?
What are you doing here?
This is my rightful home!
and your home, too!
Yes, it's our home!
You're with me. I'm with you.
let's go!
The next show is a holiday mix of
Happy Chinese New Year and going home for the Spring Festival, no matter if you're rich or not.
Actors Wang Baoqiang, Bai Ke, Yue Yunpeng, and Liu Yan...
The Spirit Monkey offers luck.
The Golden Rooster crows in an auspicious beginning.
The red flags are fluttering gaily in the wind.
A Firecracker salvo across the sky.
Buddies in India spends Spring Festival with you.
Wishing you a happy Chinese New Year.
Baoqiang wishes Grandparents,
to enjoy endless happiness and be as old as Methuselah.
As a New Year begins,
Baike wishes all parents
peace all year round and receive more than you wish for.
For a new year and a new look,
Yue Yunpeng wishes for all aunts and uncles,
money and that treasures will be plentiful.
For a new start,
Liu Yan wishes for all brothers and sisters,
to have all their wishes come true!
Buddies in India
wishes you Happy Chinese New Year!
It's Chinese New Year.
Hello, everyone,
In recent days,
I've been thinking lots about my life
and everything I've gone through.
I think I understand,
the best gift in the world,
is not money,
but the family.
I will reflect on myself,
and build a new life.
I want to apologize to my nephew, Xiao Sen.
I wish Bao Tang Group will have a better future!
Well, I'd like to sing a song for my inmates.
This is my fate.
This is my fate
I don't blame the world or myself.
No matter how cruel the life, I'll get through
I'm here where I've always wanted to be.
This is my fate.