Buffalo Soldiers (2001) Movie Script
[ Static ]
Pilot: Eagle, say again.
Repeat, please, Eagle.
[ Static ]
Radio operator:
Can you confirm deployment?
Roger that, Eagle.
Stand by.
[ ENGINES HUMMING ]
Copy that.
We got a target confirmed.
Eagle is green for go. Repeat.
Eagle is green for go.
Copy that.
Deployment in 15 seconds.
Bombardier, give me a confirm
on target three zero niner.
[ MECHANICAL WHIRRING ]
Uh, that's three zero niner.
Confirm.
Copy, bombardier.
Okay.
In 3, 2, 1.
[ WIND WHISTLING ]
Elwood:
FALLING.
MY WORST FEAR IS FALLING.
FALLING LIKE A BOMB.
YOU SEE, LIFE FOR ME IS ABOU DISTRACTIONS.
I TRY TO KEEP LOOKING UP
AND FORGET ABOUT WHAT'S DOWN.
BUT WHEN I DREAM, I FALL.
[ ENGINE RACING ]
Man: LEFT.
LEFT.
LEFT.
OH, SOLDIERS
Men:
OH, SOLDIERS
COMBAT SOLDIERS
COMBAT SOLDIERS
PICK UP YOUR WEAPON
AND FOLLOW ME
PICK UP YOUR WEAPON
AND FOLLOW ME
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
101
101
SCREAMIN' EAGLES
SCREAMIN' EAGLES
PICK UP YOUR ROPES
AND FOLLOW ME
PICK UP YOUR ROPES
AND FOLLOW ME
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
82nd
82nd
AIRBORNE SOLDIER
AIRBORNE SOLDIER
PICK UP YOUR JUMPERS
AND FOLLOW ME
PICK UP YOUR JUMPERS
AND FOLLOW ME
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
[ MEN GRUNTING ]
MAN!
YOU CAN'T DO THAT, MAN.
WHAT?
THAT'S A FOUL.
I DIDN'T GRAB YOU.
DUDE, YOU GRABBED ME, MAN.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
MAN, I DIDN'T GRAB YOU.
WHY YOU LYING?
MAN, ELWOOD.
YO, ELWOOD, MAN.
HE GRABBED ME, RIGHT?
YOU SAW IT.
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE.
YOU SEE, MAN?
YOU CAN'T GRAB LIKE THAT.
FUCK YOU, MAN.
Elwood: VIETNAM WAS THE THORN
IN EVERYBODY'S SIDE.
THEY STOPPED THE DRAF AND ASKED FOR VOLUNTEERS.
EXCEPT NOBODY VOLUNTEERED.
I MEAN, WHO WANTS TO PLAY
FOR A LOSING TEAM?
SO WHERE'D THEY GO TO FIND
THE NEW PATRIOTS?
ANSWER -- PRISON.
TAKE CONVICTED FELONS
AND GIVE THEM A CHOICE.
SERVE TIME
OR SERVE YOUR COUNTRY.
CRIMINALS AND HIGH-SCHOOL
DROPOUTS TRAINED TO KILL.
I KNOW SOMETHING NOW.
PRISON WOULD HAVE BEEN
A HELL OF A LOT SAFER.
IT'S FUCKING HOLDING, DUDE.
YOU WANT TO TRY IT AGAIN,
THEN, MOTHERFUCKER,
WITH A SNAP THIS TIME?
FINE BY ME.
LET'S GO, BABY.
HEY, VIDEO, THROW ME
THE GODDAMN BALL.
OKAY, BUT I'M QUARTERBACK.
CAN I BE QUARTERBACK?
COME ON. COME ON.
YEAH, YEAH. COME ON.
Squash: ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SEE WHAT THEY GOT.
[ MEN SHOUTING ]
HEY, YO.
CAN I PLAY?
WHOA, WHOA.
PARSONS.
GOT SOMETHING FOR ME THERE?
YOU PUT I IN THE BATTERY, RIGHT?
YEAH, YEAH. NO PROBLEM.
HEY, CAN I PLAY, TOO?
I WAS CHAMPION WIDE RECEIVER
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I CAN CATCH THAT BALL, MAN.
PARSONS, YOU'RE SO FUCKED UP
YOU COULDN'T CATCH A BUS.
STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY AND LE THE BROTHER PLAY SOME BALL.
FUCK YOU, TOO, MAN!
COME ON! GET DOWN!
GET DOWN!
ON "HUT." DOWN.
Video: SET.
COME ON. COME ON.
BRING IT ON.
GIVE ME SOME, MAN!
HUT!
MOTHERFUCKER.
THESE WERE MY GUYS.
FIGHTING THE DULL FIGHT.
SOLDIERS WITH NOTHING TO KILL
EXCEPT TIME.
THEY KNOW THAT WAR IS HELL.
BUT PEACE,
PEACE IS FUCKING BORING.
GIVE ME THE BALL.
YO.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
GIVE ME BACK
THE MOTHERFUCKING BALL, MAN.
NO, NO, NO.
UH, GUYS?
GUYS.
GUYS!
WHAT?!
UH, JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.
PARSONS IS DEAD.
PARSONS McCOVEY WAS A CASUALTY
OF WAR.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE WAS
THAT THIS WAS THE COLD WAR
AND HE WAS A FUCKED-UP JUNKIE.
THERE'D BE NO HERO'S BURIAL
FOR PARSONS.
"I REGRET THE DEATH
OF YOUR SON IMMENSELY.
"HE WAS PERSONALLY KNOWN TO ME,
AND THERE WAS NOBODY
"IN THE BATTALION I WOULD HAVE
TRUSTED MORE WITH MY LIFE.
"IN HIM WERE RESPLENDENT THE
VIRTUES OF HONOR AND LOYALTY
"TO HIS COUNTRY AND GOD
THAT ARE
"WHAT KEEP
OUR CIVILIZATION TOGETHER.
"HE FELL OFF THE ROOFTOP
OF HIS BARRACKS
"WHILE TRYING TO MAKE
TECHNICAL REPAIRS TO THE ANTENNA
THAT WE USE TO GUARD
AGAINST THE ENEMY."
"TECHNICAL REPAIRS"?
WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
OH, I TRIED TO THINK
WHAT McCOVEY MIGHT BE DOING
UP THERE, SIR.
OKAY. GO ON.
"HE DIED, THOUGH NOT IN COMBAT,
STILL IN THE LINE OF DUTY,
"AND HE HAD HIS COUNTRY
UPPERMOST IN HIS MIND.
"MY DEEPEST REGRETS.
COLONEL WALLACE BERMAN,
UNITED STATES ARMY, COMMANDING."
YOU KEPT THIS ONE SHORT,
ELWOOD.
YEAH. I THOUGHT IT MIGH BE BETTER NOT TO GE LOST IN DETAILS, SIR.
I LIKE THE TOUCH ABOUT ME
TRUSTING HIM WITH MY LIFE.
IT'S A NEW ANGLE, SIR.
HERE'S SOMETHING, THOUGH.
UH, THE WORD
"RESPLENDENT" --
I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD WORD
TO DESCRIBE A SOLDIER.
WE'VE GOT TO COME UP
WITH SOMETHING ELSE THERE.
WHAT ABOUT "CONTAINED"?
"IN HIM WERE CONTAINED THE
VIRTUES OF HONOR AND LOYALTY."
THAT'S MUCH BETTER.
DON'T YOU THINK?
OH, MUCH BETTER, SIR.
SCRATCH "RESPLENDENT."
DON'T LET THAT WORD LEAVE
THIS BASE.
YES, SIR.
OKAY, LET'S SEE. WHAT IS THIS?
WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
JUST SOME REQUISITIONS, SIR.
1,000 GALLONS OF MOP AND GLO.
MY GOD.
DO WE REALLY NEED THAT MUCH?
WELL, CLEANLINESS IS
NEXT TO GODLINESS.
HERMAN THE GERMAN.
HOW GOES IT?
HOW DO YOU DO, MEIN FREUND?
HOW ARE YOU?
DOING JUST FINE.
DOING JUST FINE.
SO, WE DO
SOME BUSINESS TODAY?
SURE THING. GUYS?
[ LIQUID POURING ]
I THINK YOU'LL BE PLEASED.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
AND LOOK AT THE SPARKLE.
THAT'S REAL CLEANING POWER.
SEHR GUT SCHEISSE, JA?
SEHR GUT SCHEISSE,
MEIN FREUND.
U.S. ARMY'S FINEST.
500 GALLONS READY TO GO.
THREE THINGS I LOVE
ABOUT GERMANY.
MY MERCEDES-BENZ.
NO SPEED LIMIT ON THE AUTOBAHN.
AND A BLACK MARKET FOR ANYTHING
I CAN GET MY HANDS ON.
1989
THE NUMBER
ANOTHER SUMMER
GET DOWN!
SOUND OF THE FUNKY DRUMMER
MUSIC HITTIN' YOUR HEAR 'CAUSE I KNOW YOU GOT SOUL
HEY
BROTHERS AND SISTERS!
LISTEN IF YOU'RE MISSIN',
Y'ALL
SWINGIN' WHILE I'M SINGIN'
HEY!
GIVIN' WHAT YOU'RE GETTIN'
KNOWIN' WHAT I KNOW
WHILE THE BLACK BAND'S
SWEATIN'
AND THE RHYTHM RHYME'S
ROLLIN'
GOT TO GIVE US WHAT WE WAN YEAH!
GOT TO GIVE US WHAT WE NEED
HEY!
OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH
IS FREEDOM OF DEATH
WE GOT TO FIGHT THE POWERS
THAT BE
FIGHT THE POWER
FIGHT THE POWER
FIGHT THE POWER
FIGHT THE POWER
HEY, ELWOOD.
WHAT'S UP, MAN?
OUTSTANDING, HICKS.
HOW YOU DOING?
SO...
YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD,
HICKS.
YOU GOT ANYTHING?
DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU WANT.
UH, IT'S...HORSE.
CAN'T HELP YOU.
YOU KNOW -- FUCK.
ELWOOD, UH...
I OUTRANK YOU, MAN,
SO DON'T GIVE ME ANY...CRAP.
I APPRECIATE THAT,
BUT I CAN'T HELP YOU.
LOOK, MAN. I DON'T DO RETAIL.
I ONLY COOK THE SHIT.
WHY DON'T YOU GO SEE
SERGEANT SAAD?
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
BUM-RUSH THE SHOW
YOU GOT TO GO FOR
WHAT YOU KNOW
Elwood: SO THERE'S BASICALLY
TWO KINDS OF GUYS IN THE ARMY.
THE MOTHERFUCKERS
AND THE MOTHERFUCKED.
SERGEANT SAAD IS
THE THIRD KIND.
HE FUCKS THE MOTHERFUCKERS.
WHICH IS DOABLE WHEN YOU'RE
THE CHIEF M.P. BY DAY
AND THE DIRECTOR OF
RETAIL HEROIN SALES BY NIGHT.
NOW, ME AND SAAD,
WE WERE ABLE TO COEXIS MAINLY BECAUSE
OF MY COOKING SKILLS.
IN THE DISPENSARY BUILDING
RIGHT ON BASE,
I'D COOK HIGH-GRADE
TURKISH MORPHINE
INTO HIGH-GRADE HEROIN.
AND THEN I'D WHOLESALE I STRAIGHT TO HIM.
EVERYONE WAS HAPPY.
SO, HOW MUCH WE GET?
WELL, AFTER WE GIVE
THE TURK BACK HIS SHARE,
WE GOT, UH, TWO, FOUR, SIX...
NINE GRAMS.
NINE GRAMS?
SIX HOURS OF COOKING AND ALL
WE GET IS NINE GRAMS?
HEY, YOU WANT TO TELL THE TURK
YOU'RE NOT HAPPY WITH OUR CUT,
BE MY GUEST.
BULLSHIT, MAN.
WE'RE THE ONES DOING ALL
THE WORK, TAKING ALL
THE RISK DOWN HERE,
AND SAAD'S MAKING
ALL THE PROFIT.
GARCIA, I'M GONNA JUST NEED YOU
TO DO YOUR JOB, ALL RIGHT?
CAN YOU WATCH
THOSE THERMOMETERS
AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH EATING
THOSE HOT DOGS?
CAN YOU HANDLE THAT?
Col. Berman:
HEROIN, COCAINE, MARIJUANA,
LYSERGIC ACID DIETHYL...
WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS.
AMPHETAMINES, TRACES
OF BARBITURATES, ESTROGEN.
ESTROGEN?
McCOVEY WAS ON THE PILL?
HOW COULD THIS BE POSSIBLE?
WELL, HE MIGHT HAVE TAKEN I BY MISTAKE, SIR.
WHAT?
A BIRTH-CONTROL PILL.
HE MIGHT HAVE THOUGH IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE.
WELL, FINE, BUT HE DIDN'T TAKE
HEROIN, SPEED,
AND COCAINE BY MISTAKE,
DID HE?
IT SEEMS UNLIKELY, SIR.
THIS ISN'T GOOD, ELWOOD --
DRUGS ON THE BASE LIKE THIS.
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT THIS?
HOW COULD SOMEONE
GET DRUGS IN?
I REALLY DON'T KNOW, SIR.
I ALWAYS TRY TO KEEP AWAY FROM
PEOPLE LIKE PARSONS McCOVEY.
ELWOOD, WE'VE GOT TO TRY TO
CLEAR THIS MATTER UP,
GOD DAMN IT.
I CANNOT -- NO. NO, NO, NO.
SCRATCH THAT.
I WILL NOT HAVE THIS KIND
OF THING GOING ON AT MY BASE.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M SAYING?
MY OFFICER-EVALUATION
REPORT GOES
IN FRONT OF GENERAL LANCASTER
IN THREE WEEKS.
I DON'T GET THAT GODDAMN STAR,
I'M FINISHED.
SIR,
YOU'VE GOT TO RELAX --
DON'T YOU TELL ME TO RELAX,
GOD DAMN IT.
YOU, WHO ARE AN E4.
I'M A GODDAMN FULL-BIRD COLONEL.
YOU DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT.
YOU UNDERSTAND ME, SOLDIER?
YES, SIR.
OH, J-JESUS, ELWOOD.
I'M...
I DIDN'T MEAN TO TAKE IT OU ON YOU.
ELWOOD, I'M S-- I'M SORRY.
IT'S OKAY, SIR.
I UNDERSTAND THE KIND
OF PRESSURE YOU'RE UNDER.
THIS ISN'T MINE.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT IT.
AND THERE'S NO SMOKING
IN HERE.
OH.
I NEED SOMEONE TO SIGN HERE.
IT SAYS "BERMAN."
YOU'RE BERMAN?
YEAH, WELL, I'M COLONEL BERMAN,
ALL RIGHT,
BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT ANY GODDAMN CHAIR.
I'M TELLING YOU, SON,
IT'S NOT MINE.
IT IS YOURS.
OH, LIZ.
HELLO, DARLING.
ISN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL?
IT'S FOR YOU.
IT'S FOR ME?
I GOT IT FOR UNDER 30.
I DON'T THINK THEY KNEW
WHAT THEY HAD.
30,000?
I COULDN'T BELIEVE
IT WAS SO CHEAP.
DOLLARS
OR DEUTSCHE MARKS?
WHAT DO YOU THINK, ELWOOD?
DO YOU LIKE THE NEW CHAIR?
WELL, CAN YOU SI ON IT, MA'AM?
NO, OF COURSE YOU CAN'T SI ON IT. IT'S AN ANTIQUE.
OH.
WELL, IT'S VERY NICE.
DARLING, CAN I BORROW ELWOOD
FOR A FEW HOURS?
THERE ARE SOME THINGS
I NEED HIM TO DO.
[ MOANING
PLEASURABLY ]
GOD.
[ GRUNTS ]
WAIT.
ALMOST. ALMOST.
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
[ GROANS ]
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
Man on TV:
...THE DEAL SIGNED
EXACTLY A YEAR AGO IN STOCKHOLM
TO BUILD EAST/WEST TRUS AND REDUCE THE RISK OF WAR.
EAST AND WES HAVE ALWAYS FEARED
THAT SUCH AN ENORMOUS EXERCISE
MIGHT BE USED AS A COVER
FOR A BUILDUP TO WAR.
YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT YET.
SORRY. YOU ANGRY?
NO.
RAY, HONEY,
I NEED YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR.
THE COLONEL'S GIVING A PARTY,
AND I NEED YOU TO FIND OU ABOUT DECORATIONS.
WHAT'S HE WANT A PARTY FOR?
HE WANTS TO IMPRESS
THE GENERAL.
HIS POSITION'S UNDER REVIEW, AND
I THOUGHT A PARTY WOULD HELP.
WILL YOU?
HMM?
HMM?
OH, YOU MEAN A PARTY PARTY?
LIKE, BERMAN'S FUN --
[ GASPS ] OH.
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
[ MOANS SOFTLY ]
...TO ENSURE NO CHEATING
IN THE FUTURE.
AND ALL SIDES AGREE
THIS FIRST ON-SITE VERIFICATION
OF CONVENTIONAL FORCES IS
A MAJOR STEP FORWARD
IN BUILDING NEW TRUS AND CONFIDENCE.
CAN YOU SWITCH THAT OFF?
JUST TURN THAT ENGINE OFF
AND COME ON OVER HERE.
[ ENGINE TURNS OFF ]
Elwood:
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING
THIS HUMMER?
UH, WE HAVE ORDERS HERE
FROM COLONEL BERMAN.
OKAY.
WHO ARE YOU?
SPECIALIST RAY ELWOOD.
WHAT'S THIS?
UH, WE HAVE ORDERS
FROM THE COLONEL
TO PICK UP PARTY, UH,
DECORATIONS IN MANNHEIM.
PARTY DECORATIONS.
YES, FIRST SERGEANT.
COLONEL'S HAVING A PARTY.
SOUNDS LIKE
A PRETTY DANGEROUS MISSION.
UM, NO DISRESPECT INTENDED,
BUT MAY I ASK WHO YOU ARE?
YEAH, YOU CAN ASK.
I'M YOUR NEW TOP.
FIRST SERGEANT ROBERT E. LEE.
WELL, PLEASED TO MEET YOU, TOP.
WELCOME TO THE 317th.
WELL, THANKS, SPECIALIST.
I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE GETTING
A NEW TOP.
WHY WOULD YOU?
WELL, I'M
BATTALION CLERK HERE.
I USUALLY DO PAPERWORK
ON ALL THE TRANSFERS.
OKAY. THANKS, GUYS.
I'M SORRY TO KEEP YOU.
NO PROBLEM.
HOLD FOR A SECOND, THERE.
YOU GOT THE TIME, SON?
OH, YEAH.
IT'S, UH, ALMOST 10:00.
WELL, THAT'S A NICE WATCH.
SHOW ME THAT.
WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?
MY FATHER, UH, GAVE IT TO ME.
YOUR FATHER GAVE IT TO YOU.
HE MUST BE QUITE A GUY.
WHAT'S HE DO?
HE'S A BARBER.
BARBER.
GEE. HE MUST CU A LOT OF HAIR.
YEAH.
OKAY.
YOU BETTER BE GOING, THEN.
DON'T WANT TO BE LATE PICKING UP
THEM PARTY DECORATIONS.
LET'S GO.
[ DR. OCTAGON'S "BEAR WITNESS"
PLAYS ]
[ INDISTINCT VOICES ON RADIO ]
BEAR WITNESS
BEAR WITNESS
CREATIN' RAP MUSIC
'CAUSE I NEVER DONE DISCO
Man on radio: Bravo two zero.
Bravo two zero, come in.
Bravo two zero.
Bravo two zero, come in.
SHIT.
TURN THAT DOWN, MAN.
TURN DOWN THE FUCKING MUSIC.
DUDE, YOU'RE FUCKING CLOSER.
Bravo two zero, please respond.
What's going on, Hicks?
I'M NOT GETTING UP.
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
UH...
BRAVO TWO ZERO HERE.
Bravo two zero, commence attack
on maneuver area
two niner Alfa Romeo.
Take position on phase line
Foxtrot Delta four seven.
[ LAUGHING ]
FUCK.
WHAT THE HELL'S...
TWO NINE ALFA ROMEO?
Garcia: I GOT A VERY WEIRD VIBE
FROM THAT GUY.
I PERSONALLY
DIDN'T LIKE HIM.
HE'S OUR NEW TOP.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
OH, YEAH? WELL, WHAT WAS
THAT SHIT ABOUT THE ROLEX, MAN?
WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
HE COULD KNOW
ABOUT THE OPERATION.
HE COULD KNOW SOMETHING.
JESUS CHRIST. DON'T GE FUCKING PARANOID, GARCIA.
JUST BE COOL.
I'M COOL.
FUCK, MAN.
I CAN BE COOL.
WELL, GOOD.
THAT'S WHY I'M TELLING YOU.
[ "HOLY CALAMITY
(BEAR WITNESS II)" PLAYS ]
FIGURED OU WHERE WE'RE GOING YET, MAN?
UH, NO.
WE'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY.
SHIT.
UH, HEY, JOHNNIE,
MAKE A-A LEFT.
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS,
LAUGHTER ]
BREAK, BREAK, BREAK,
BREAK, BREAK
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
I TOLD YOU TO MAKE A LEF ACROSS THAT FIELD.
I DID, MAN.
I WENT LEFT.
[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ]
[ BOTH SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]
[ "HOLY CALAMITY" CONTINUES ]
WHAT WAS THAT BUMP?
OH, SHIT, MAN.
WE JUST RAN OVER A CAR, MAN.
WE JUST SQUASHED A CAR!
WHAT KIND OF CAR?
A VOLKSWAGEN.
A FUCKING BEETLE.
OH, NO.
WE SQUASHED A BEETLE.
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
LOOK OUT, MAN.
Stop.
STOP!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
[ ENGINE RUMBLING ]
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING HERE?
WHOA!
STOP. STOP!
WOW, MAN. THESE DUDES ARE
FREAKING ME OUT.
OH, I DON'T LIKE THEM,
EITHER, MAN.
HEY, JOHNNIE,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST, UH,
GET US AWAY
FROM THESE FUCKERS?
WHAT THE FUCK
IS HE DOING, MAN?
HOLY SHIT.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THESE MONITORS?
THEY'VE GONE ALL ORANGE.
JOHNNIE, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
TO GET US OUT OF HERE.
[ INDISTINCT VOICES ON RADIO ]
THAT'S OUR FUCKING UNIT.
JUST UP AHEAD.
Man on radio: Is that you
back there, Bravo two zero?
Did you complete
your two niner Alfa Romeo?
UH, WE, UH,
COMPLETED THAT.
[ LAUGHING ]
Okay. Good work, guys.
Get in formation.
Garcia:
OH, SHIT!
[ DOG BARKING ]
OH, JESUS CHRIST.
THESE GUYS ARE DEAD.
GARCIA, GET IN THE TRUCK
AND FOLLOW ME.
WHAT?
HEY, WHAT'S IN THE TRUCKS?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT LET'S FIND OUT.
HEY, NO WAY, MAN.
JUST GET IN THE FUCKING TRUCK.
ALL RIGHT.
OH.
JACKPOT.
OH, SHIT.
HOLY SHIT.
GRENADE LAUNCHERS.
MAG GUNS.
STINGER MISSILES.
JESUS CHRIST.
THIS IS WORTH MILLIONS.
$3 MILLION, MAYBE.
MAYBE $5 MILLION.
IT'S ALL BRAND-NEW.
HEY, WE GOT TO
TAKE THIS BACK.
THIS STUFF GETS US NOTHING
BUT HEAVY JAIL TIME.
OH, WE'RE NO TAKING THIS BACK.
THIS IS BIG-TIME.
WE CAN RETIRE ON THIS.
WELL, I AGREE 100%.
HEY, THIS IS WAY OU OF OUR LEAGUE.
THEY KILL YOU FOR STUFF
LIKE THIS.
THIS IS VERY SERIOUS SHIT.
THERE'S NO TIME LIKE NOW.
GUYS, IF WE PULL THIS OFF --
THERE'S NO TIME LIKE NOW?
ARE YOU CRAZY?
WE'RE NOT WEAPONS DEALERS.
WILL YOU KINDLY SHUT UP?
MAN, YOU'RE SO NEGATIVE
ALL THE TIME.
I DON'T LIKE IT, ALL RIGHT?
I'M TRYING TO THINK.
HEY.
HEY.
WE'RE SMART, RIGHT?
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
YEAH.
THEN WE CAN DO THIS.
WE CAN DO THIS.
OH, MAN.
WHAT DO WE DO WITH THIS SHIT?
WELL, FIRST WE NEED TO
STORE IT.
AND I KNOW THE PERFECT PLACE.
HEY, THIS PLACE GIVES ME
THE CREEPS.
YEAH.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO.
HEY, FRANK.
WHAT'S UP?
HEY, ELWOOD.
WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?
NOTHING MUCH, NOTHING MUCH.
LOOK, I GOT SOME STUFF
I NEED TO STORE.
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?
SURE THING, MAN.
HEY, A-ARE WE GONNA PARTY
AFTERWARDS?
DOES THE POPE SHI IN THE WOODS?
HEY, WE CAN DO
A LOT OF THINGS
WITH THE CASH WE MAKE
OFF OF THIS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT OPENING UP A BAR?
A NICE, CLASSY PLACE.
ME AND YOU WOULD BE
PARTNERS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SURE. WHY NOT?
WHOA!
THIS ONE READY TO GO?
YEAH. ALMOST. ALMOST.
EASY.
YOU BE ALL RIGHT?
YEAH.
YOU AIN'T OUT IN 30,
I'M COMING IN.
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL BE FINE.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
ELWOOD.
HOW ARE YOU, MY FRIEND?
HEY, DAVOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
I'M WELL.
ARE YOU HUNGRY?
YOU WANT SOMETHING TO EAT?
OH, NO. I'M FINE. THANKS.
I'D BETTER GET UP TO...
OKAY.
SAY HI TO YOUR SISTER,
ALL RIGHT?
HMM.
A LOT OF GUNS.
WHERE'D YOU GE ALL THIS STUFF?
SANTA CLAUS.
[ Laughing ]
SANTA CLAUS.
THAT'S FUNNY.
SO HE CAME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
AND PUT IT UNDER THE TREE, HUH?
YEP.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
SO...
HOW ABOUT THIS?
I GIVE YOU 20 KILOS
ON TOP OF MY NEXT SHIPMENT,
AND YOU COOK THAT ALONG WITH
MY SHARE OF THE SHIPMENT...
AND YOU MAKE A LOT OF MONEY.
20 KILOS?
MM-HMM.
NO. I WANT CASH.
LOOK, I KNOW SOMEBODY ELSE
WHO'S VERY INTERESTED
IN THIS MERCHANDISE, MAN.
OKAY.
MAYBE THEY'LL PAY YOU CASH.
I HATE TO BREAK
THAT 30 MARK.
IT'S, UH, A RELIGIOUS THING
WITH ME.
I'M AFRAID YOU'LL HAVE TO,
'CAUSE 30 KILOS IS
MY FINAL OFFER.
[ LAUGHS ]
HE'S SENDING US 30 KEYS.
ONE WEEK.
30 KEYS?
HOLY SHIT.
THAT'S A...
A LOT.
WELL, HOW DO WE COOK THAT MUCH?
IT'LL TAKE US LIKE A YEAR.
IT'S GONNA BE COOL.
[ INDISTINCT VOICE ON TV ]
[ CLATTERING ]
Man on TV:
POLITICALLY,
MR. GORBACHEV HAS NEVER BEEN
MORE VULNERABLE.
THIS IS REALLY IMPRESSIVE.
HEY, GUYS, CAREFUL WITH MY SHIT,
ALL RIGHT?
YOU'RE PRETTY WELL-EQUIPPED
FOR A SPEC 4.
I GOT RECEIPTS
FOR EVERYTHING.
I'M SURE YOU DO.
HEY, TOP.
LOOK AT THIS.
CHECK AND SEE
IF THERE'S ANYTHING INSIDE.
NOTHING.
MMM, MMM, MMM.
I'LL BE THIS DON'T COME CHEAP.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
THIS AIN'T EXACTLY REGULATION
STUFF HERE, IS IT, SOLDIER?
WELL, I DON'T REALLY KNOW.
NO. I GUESS NOT.
LOOK, I'M GONNA COME
AROUND HERE TOMORROW,
AND I WANT THIS PLACE LOOKING
LIKE A REGULAR QUARTERS.
YOU FOLLOW?
LOOK, I KNOW IT AIN' EXACTLY REGULATION.
BUT THE LAST TOP DIDN'T SEEM TO
MIND ABOUT ALL THIS.
WELL, HIM AND ME
ARE A BIT DIFFERENT.
LOOK, TOP, IS THERE A WAY
YOU AND I COULD TALK IN PRIVATE?
THESE GUYS
KIND OF MAKE ME NERVOUS.
DOES IT REALLY HAVE TO PLAY
THIS WAY, TOP?
HOW DO YOU SUGGES WE PLAY IT?
WELL, WHAT IS IT YOU WANT?
I MEAN, YOU AND ME,
I THINK WE --
I THINK WE GOT A LO IN COMMON.
BARRIERS ARE COMING DOWN
IN HUNGARY.
SO MUST THEY FALL THROUGHOUT ALL
OF EASTERN EUROPE.
FOR EXAMPLE, I SEE YOU'RE AN
ADMIRER OF JAPANESE TECHNOLOGY.
NO PROBLEM.
THE TV IS YOURS.
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS...
WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE
FOR YOU AND ME TO MAKE NICE?
ARE YOU SAYING
WHAT I THINK YOU'RE SAYING?
[ APPLAUSE ON TV ]
THE WORLD HAS WAITED --
THERE'S YOUR ANSWER.
Man:
FIVE METERS.
ELWOOD.
HEY.
THIS WILL TAKE A SECOND.
I'LL MEET YOU DOWN THERE.
ALL RIGHT.
WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO
IN SUCH A HURRY?
OH, NOWHERE, REALLY.
I JUST HAD A COUPLE THINGS
TO DO.
YOU'RE ALWAYS OFF
WITH YOUR BUDDIES.
I NEVER SEE YOU ANYMORE.
WELL, IT'S JUST BECAUSE
I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY.
BUSY?
YEAH.
THE GUEST LIST.
GUEST LIST?
PARTY?
YOU'RE STILL HELPING ME.
OH, THE PART-- YEAH.
SURE. DEFINITELY.
WE JUST FOUND OUT THE COLONEL'S
RELATED TO THE IRON BOAR.
THE IRON WHAT?
THE IRON BOAR.
AS IN MALE PIG.
I HAD A LAWYER TRACE
HIS FAMILY TREE,
AND IT TURNS OU HE'S A DISTANT RELATIVE
OF A CIVIL WAR HERO --
JOHN BELL HOOD.
THEY CALLED HIM
"THE IRON BOAR."
HE'S GOING TO ANNOUNCE IT TO
GENERAL LANCASTER AT THE PARTY.
I THINK IT'LL HELP
HIS PROMOTION.
Man:
THREE METERS.
SERGEANT LEE'S DAUGHTER.
THAT'S TOP'S DAUGHTER?
YOU'RE KIDDING.
SEE SOMETHING YOU LIKE,
ELWOOD?
Man:
EIGHT METERS.
10 METERS.
NICE DIVE.
THANKS.
THE NEW TOP.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'S UP TO?
HE'S JUST A WASHED-UP
VET WHO WANTS TO THROW HIS
WEIGHT AROUND A LITTLE BIT.
BUT RIGHT NOW HE'S ON
YOUR CASE, MY MAN.
YEAH. WELL...
HEY.
CHECK OUT THIS GIRL.
WHY?
THAT'S TOP'S DAUGHTER.
NO SHIT?
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING?
[ CHUCKLES ] YOU COULD BE
THINKING ALMOST ANYTHING.
MAYBE I SHOULD ASK HER OUT.
YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY.
YOU KNOW THAT?
IMAGINE HOW MUCH
THAT'LL FUCK WITH HIS HEAD.
IT'S PERFECT.
[ ENGINE SPUTTERING ]
HEY.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT A PROBLEM
WITH YOUR CAR.
YEAH.
IT WON'T START.
YEAH. IT MIGHT BE THE BATTERY.
WANT ME TO TAKE A LOOK?
YOU'RE ROBYN LEE, RIGHT?
YEAH.
HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?
I'M BATTALION CLERK HERE
FOR FIRST BATTALION.
KIND OF KNOW EVERYTHING.
HMM.
MUST BE HANDY.
HEY, YOU'RE A GOOD DIVER.
I SAW YOU IN THERE AT THE POOL
DIVING OFF THE HIGH PLATFORM.
I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU DO THAT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU SCARED OF HEIGHTS?
WELL, LET'S JUST SAY
YOU WOULDN'T GET ME UP THERE.
YOU SHOULD TRY IT.
IT'S FUN.
FUN?
WHY IS IT FUN?
FALLING THROUGH AIR.
IT'S KIND OF COOL.
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
YOU LIKE FALLING?
SURE. WHY NOT?
HEY, I THINK I FOUND
THE CULPRIT.
YOU WANT TO GIVE THAT A TRY?
[ DOOR CLOSES,
ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
WHAT A GUY.
THAT'S ME.
UH, ACTUALLY,
I'M RAY ELWOOD.
BUT EVERYONE CALLS ME
ELWOOD.
THANKS FOR FIXING
MY CAR, ELWOOD.
YEAH. NO PROBLEM.
SO, YOU WANT TO GO OU FRIDAY NIGHT?
Col. Berman: IT'S A VINEYARD
I VISITED LAST SUMMER.
JUST A SMALL ONE
IN THE NAPA VALLEY.
PINOT GRAPES.
IT'S FOR SALE.
YOU THINKING
OF BUYING IT, SIR?
WELL, I WISH.
NO.
BUT I HAVE A PRETTY DECEN COLLECTION BACK HOME,
AND I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED
WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE
TO MAKE MY OWN WINE.
I COULD
JUST ABOUT AFFORD IT.
OF COURSE,
IT'S UNREALISTIC.
HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING
ABOUT THOSE TWO TRUCKS
GONE MISSING?
WHAT TRUCKS, SIR?
DURING REFORGER,
TWO TRUCKS WENT MISSING.
THE DRIVERS WERE KILLED
IN AN ACCIDENT WITH A TANK
AT SOME GAS STATION
OUT NEAR KARLSRUHE.
THEY FOUND THE BODIES
OF THE DRIVERS, BUT THEY
CAN'T FIND THE TRUCKS.
HOW ODD.
YOU WANT TO HEAR
THE BEST PART?
WHAT'S THAT, SIR?
IT'S COLONEL MARSHALL'S
INFANTRY,
SO HE'S TAKING THE HEAT.
GREAT NEWS, SIR.
ELWOOD, COULD I TELL YOU
A LITTLE SECRET?
OF COURSE, SIR.
HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE CIVIL WAR
GENERAL, JOHN BELL HOOD?
THE IRON BOAR?
YOU KNOW OF HIM?
WELL, OF COURSE, SIR.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THE IRON BOAR.
I DIDN'T KNOW
HE WAS SO WELL-KNOWN.
IT TURNS OUT THAT I AM
AN ACTUAL RELATIVE.
A RELATIVE
OF THE IRON BOAR?
AWESOME.
I WANT YOU TO KEEP I UNDER YOUR HAT.
I'M GOING TO SURPRISE
THE GENERAL AT THE PARTY.
[ DOORBELL BUZZES ]
YEAH.
EXCUSE ME.
PRIVATE FIRST CLASS BRIAN KNOLL
REPORTING FOR DUTY, SIR.
WELL, I'M NOT AN OFFICER,
SO YOU CAN CUT THE "SIR" CRAP.
SORRY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I JUST ARRIVED THIS MORNING.
THE ORDERLY SENT ME DOWN HERE.
OH. GREAT.
WHAT'S THAT, YOUR 201 FILE?
YES, SIR. UH, YES.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
YOU CAN SIT DOWN IF YOU WANT.
SO, HOW COME
THEY ASSIGNED YOU HERE?
OH, I PUT IN FOR IT.
MY FIANCEE IS HERE ON BASE,
SO WE ARRANGED TO TRANSFER
TOGETHER.
OH. HOW SWEET.
WHO'S SHE?
MARGOLIS. CAROL ANN.
PRIVATE FIRST CLASS.
YOU CALL HER
BY HER LAST NAME?
WHAT DO YOU DO,
SALUTE IN BED?
IT SAYS HERE
THEY PUT YOU IN ROOM 519.
YEAH.
NO.
THAT -- THAT'S MY ROOM.
DIDN'T -- DIDN' SERGEANT LEE TELL YOU?
W-WE'RE GONNA BE ROOMMATES.
SO WHILE CAROL ANN'S BEEN HERE
FOR SIX MONTHS,
I'M STUCK IN SAN ANTONIO,
YOU KNOW, JUST PULLING
WHATEVER STRINGS I COULD.
Kissing the base commander's ass
like you would not believe.
Not literally.
But, boy, oh, boy.
SO CHECK THIS OUT.
SO THEN --
JESUS CHRIST.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
I GUESS I DON'T REALLY
GIVE A SHIT.
YOU'RE ONLY HERE 'CAUSE
SERGEANT FUCKING DICKHEAD LEE
IS ON MY CASE, ALL RIGHT?
AND UNTIL I GET THAT SHI STRAIGHTENED OUT, I DON'T WAN TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND
OR YOUR TRANSPORTATION PROBLEMS
OR ANYTHING AT ALL.
YOU ROGER THAT?
Man on TV: AT MILWAUKEE
AS THE STARTING QUARTERBACK...
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
HIYA, TOP.
HOW'S IT GOING?
DADDY, THIS IS RAY ELWOOD.
OH, YEAH.
WE ALREADY MET.
UM, I'M GOING OUT.
I WON'T BE HOME TOO LATE.
[ ENGINE REVS ]
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
HOW THE HELL CAN YOU AFFORD
THIS CAR?
OH, I GOT A GREAT DEAL.
MERCS ARE A LOT CHEAPER
IN GERMANY.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
WHAT?
YOUR DAD.
HE'S FOLLOWING US.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
HEY. HOW'S IT GOING?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HEY, ELWOOD.
WHAT'S UP?
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
[ SPEAKING GERMAN ]
[ NEW ORDER'S "BLUE MONDAY"
PLAYING ]
SO, WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH YOU AND MY DAD?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
THERE'S SOMETHING
GOING ON.
WELL, I'M THE NATURAL ENEMY
OF GUYS LIKE YOUR DAD,
MOSTLY BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE
A SHIT ABOUT THE ARMY.
IF YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT,
WHY'D YOU JOIN?
I DIDN'T EXACTLY HAVE
MUCH OF A SAY IN THE MATTER.
I GOT CAUGHT STEALING A CAR,
AND THE JUDGE GAVE ME A CHOICE.
EITHER SIX MONTHS IN PRISON
OR THREE YEARS IN THE ARMY.
SO I MADE THE MISTAKE
OF CHOOSING THE ARMY.
YEAH. YEAH.
I GET IT. I GET IT.
MY DAD USUALLY HAS A PROBLEM
WITH GUYS LIKE YOU.
SO YOU'RE OUT WITH ME
TO PISS HIM OFF.
NO. I, UH...
THAT'S IT, ISN'T IT?
YEAH, THAT'S -- I'M FUCKED UP.
I'M REALLY SORRY.
YEAH, THAT'S --
THAT'S DEFINITELY FUCKED UP.
LOOK, I'LL TAKE YOU HOME NOW.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET YOU
IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS.
YOU'RE SERIOUSLY OUT WITH ME
JUST TO PISS OFF MY DAD?
YEAH. YEAH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
HE'S THE FIRST SERGEAN OF YOUR COMPANY.
HE'S NOT SOMEBODY
YOU WANT TO PISS OFF.
YOU REALIZE HE'S GONNA
CUT YOUR BALLS OFF.
YEAH. PROBABLY.
SO WHAT IF I STAY?
THERE'S A CHANCE
YOU'RE GONNA LOSE YOUR BALLS.
DO YOU THINK I'M WORTH IT?
YEAH. SURE.
WHY NOT?
FINE.
DO YOU WANT ONE OF THESE?
WHAT IS THAT?
ECSTASY.
HOW DOES IT FEEL
TO TREAT ME LIKE YOU DO
WHEN YOU'VE LAID YOUR HANDS
UPON ME
AND TOLD ME WHO YOU ARE?
I THOUGHT I WAS MISTAKEN
I THOUGHT I HEARD
YOUR WORDS
TELL ME, HOW DO I FEEL?
TELL ME, NOW HOW DO I FEEL?
THOSE WHO CAME BEFORE ME
LIVED THROUGH
THEIR VOCATIONS
[ MUSIC FADES ]
I HAVE SOMETHING
I WANT TO SHOW YOU.
WHAT IS IT?
A BURN.
[ LAUGHS SOFTLY ]
HOW'D IT HAPPEN?
WHEN I WAS A KID,
MY DAD WAS DRUNK
AND HE DROPPED A CIGARETTE ON MY
NIGHTGOWN AND IT CAUGHT FIRE.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
IT'S REALLY UGLY,
ISN'T IT?
GET UP!
GET UP! GET UP!
AT THE ARMORY! FULL GEAR!
FIVE MINUTES!
FIVE MINUTES?
COUNT 'EM!
[ MEN SHOUTING IN DISTANCE ]
ELWOOD, WHAT THE HELL
ARE WE DOING?
TARGET PRACTICE.
ELWOOD, HAND ME YOUR RIFLE.
I WANT YOU TO PACK THE M60.
BUT I'M NOT QUALIFIED
TO OPERATE IT, TOP.
THERE'S A TIME AND PLACE
FOR EVERYTHING, ELWOOD.
YOU'RE GONNA LEARN
IN THE HEAT OF BATTLE.
HAND IT TO HIM.
THE 60 IS A HEAVY MOTHER.
SO AM I.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
Sgt. Lee:
WHAT'S THE MATTER, ELWOOD?
YOUR FITNESS LACKING?
YOU WANT TO DO THE
CONFIDENCE COURSE A FEW TIMES
TO GET YOU BACK INTO SHAPE?
NO, THANKS, TOP.
I'LL BE FINE.
I DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION
TO THAT SPOT OVER THERE
THAT HAS BEEN MARKED
WITH AN "X."
WE HAVE HERE THE PROTOTYPE
OF A NEW RUSSIAN TANK.
WE ARE HERE TO TES THE VULNERABILITY OF SAID TANK
TO SUSTAIN FIRE
FROM AN INFANTRY PLATOON.
SQUAD...
LOCK AND LOAD ONE MAGAZINE,
TAKE UP A GOOD FIRING POSITION.
YOU WILL FIRE ON MY COMMAND.
SUSTAIN FIRE UNTIL THE ORDER
TO CEASE FIRE HAS BEEN GIVEN.
READY!
FIRE!
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
SO YOU DID TOP'S DAUGHTER?
THINK I MAY HAVE A PROBLEM.
NO SHIT.
I LIKE HER.
I REALLY LIKE HER, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, SHE'S DIFFERENT, MAN.
SHE'S COOL.
THERE'S JUST -- I JUS FUCKING DIG HER, YOU KNOW?
THAT'S A PROBLEM.
YEAH.
ELWOOD.
HEARD YOU LOST YOUR RIDE,
THERE, BABY.
I WAS GETTING BORED
WITH THAT CAR ANYWAYS.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WELL, YOU BETTER TAKE NOTE,
THERE, STONEY.
IT AIN'T TOO HEALTHY
HANGING AROUND THIS GUY.
I MEAN, LOOK AT THE SHI HE'S MAKING YOU EAT.
OH, YOU WAN SOME MEAT LOAF, SAAD?
NOW, THAT'S A FUCKING INSUL TO ME.
I DON'T EAT MEAT.
YOU SEE, HUMAN BEINGS DON'T HAVE
THE PROPER TEETH
AND CAN'T DIGEST THAT SHIT.
IT STAYS IN YOUR GUTS
FOR THREE WEEKS, THEN IT ROTS.
THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
YOU AIN'T GOT NO DISCIPLINE.
ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE SOME
POINT HERE, SAAD, 'CAUSE...
YEAH.
THE CABINET IN THE STORAGE ROOM
WAS EMPTY, MAN.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
IT WAS EMPTY?
EMPTY.
IT MEANS NOTHING WAS IN IT.
IT MEANS I PAID MY HARD-EARNED
FOR THIN FUCKING AIR.
NO. WAIT. YOU LOOKED
INSIDE THE BATTERY, RIGHT?
LIKE ALWAYS, EXCEPT THIS TIME
NOTHING WAS IN IT.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
YOU TRYING TO PICK A FIGH WITH ME, ELWOOD?
IS THAT WHAT YOU
REALLY WANT TO DO?
I SENT PARSONS THERE
TO STASH IT.
STUPID FUCKING JUNKIE
PROBABLY DID SOMETHING WITH IT.
PARSONS AIN'T AROUND
NO MORE,
AND AIN'T THA REAL FUCKING CONVENIENT?
HEY, RELAX, MAN.
IT'S ALREADY SORTED.
I GOT A BRAND-NEW BATCH
READY FOR YOU.
MAINTENANCE AREA
AT THE SWIMMING POOL.
USUAL PLACE.
I PUT IT THERE MYSELF THIS TIME.
IT'S DEFINITELY THERE, OKAY?
IT FUCKING BETTER BE.
YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
THIS MEAT LOAF LOOKS GREAT,
DOESN'T IT?
IN THE ARTICLE -- IN...IN
THE ARTICLE, THERE WAS A PHOTO
OF THE CONFEDERATE GENERAL,
JOHN BELL HOOD,
AFFECTION-- AFFECTION--
AFFECT--
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN
AS "THE IRON BOAR."
KNOWN AS "THE IRON BOAR."
THE IRON BOAR.
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
NO ONE.
HOW ARE THINGS GOING
DOWNSTAIRS?
GET READY.
GUESTS WILL BE ARRIVING SOON.
I'M COMING.
I WAS READING A COPY
OF "THE MODERN SOLDIER,"
AND THERE WAS AN ARTICLE...
ON THE GUERRILLA FIGHTERS
IN THE CIVIL WAR.
THERE WAS A PHOTO
OF THE CONFEDERATE GENERAL,
JOHN BELL HOOD, AFFECTIONATE --
AFFECT-- AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN
AS "THE IRON BOAR."
THE IRON WHAT?
BOAR.
B-O-A-R.
AS IN MALE PIG.
IT WAS LIZ
WHO ACTUALLY NOTICED IT.
BUT THE RESEMBLANCE TO MYSELF
WAS ABSOLUTELY UNCANNY.
SO WE COMMISSIONED A LAWYER
TO BEGIN TRACKING DOWN
COURT RECORDS,
PASSENGER-SHIP LISTS --
THAT SORT OF THING --
AND IT WAS FINALLY CONFIRMED
JUST LAST WEEK
VIA WHAT HAS BECOME KNOWN
AROUND HERE
AS A "LYNCHBURG CONVERGENCE"
WHERE A CERTAIN TREVOR BERMAN
AND A HOOD GIRL KNOWN AS ETHYL
WED AND HAD TWO BOYS
IN THE TOWN OF LYNCHBURG,
VIRGINIA.
ONE OF THOSE BOYS, GARY BERMAN,
IS MY GREAT-GREAT-UNCLE.
A DESCENDAN OF THE WILD BOAR.
SIR, THAT'S THE IRON BOAR.
I GUESS I'M SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE
WITH FAMOUS RELATIVES.
ISN'T THAT SO, MARSHALL?
I TRY NOT TO PLAY IT UP.
BUT WHEN I FOUND OU I WAS RELATED
TO FORMER ARMY CHIEF OF STAFF
GENERAL GEORGE C. MARSHALL,
I GUESS IT GAVE ME
A STRONG SENSE OF MY HERITAGE.
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PROUD
OF MY FAMILY.
BUT KNOWING THAT I WAS FROM
FIGHTING STOCK...
AFFECTED ME QUITE PROFOUNDLY.
I SEEM TO RECALL
THIS GENERAL HOOD.
HE WAS INVOLVED IN SOME...
DISASTROUS BATTLE
AND LOST A LEG, DIDN'T HE?
I WOULDN'T SAY
IT WAS DISASTROUS.
AND AN ARM.
HE LOST AN ARM AS WELL,
DIDN'T HE?
NO.
HE DIDN'T LOSE AN ARM.
HE LOST THE USE OF IT.
HE KEPT THE ACTUAL ARM.
DRINK, GENERAL?
WHY, THANK YOU.
MRS. COLONEL?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T GO MUCH
FOR THIS LINEAGE SHIT.
I'M NOT RELATED
TO ANYONE FAMOUS,
AND THIS FAMILY-LINE BULLSHI MAKES ME FEEL INSECURE.
MY BELIEF IS IF YOU COME
FROM DIRT, YOU'LL FIGHT BETTER
BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO GO
BACK TO THE DIRT.
THE BEST FIGHTERS IN THE WORLD
ARE PEOPLE WITH NOTHING
TO LOSE.
GET ME ANOTHER ONE OF THESE,
WILL YOU?
RIGHT AWAY, SIR.
THANK YOU.
HOW'S IT GOING?
OH, THE USUAL --
BERMAN AND MARSHALL TRYING
TO SUCK A GENERAL'S DICK.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A PARTY
FOR OFFICERS ONLY.
Stoney: DAMN.
THE GENERAL'S SURE HAPPY
TO SEE HIS ASS.
HOW'S IT GOING?
WHAT YOU DOING WALKING
AROUND HERE, WHITE BOY?
YOU CRAZY OR SOMETHING?
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
I'M JUST TRYING TO GET BACK
TO MY ROOM.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T WAN ANY TROUBLE OR...
NO TROUBLE?
[ CHUCKLES ]
OKAY.
SAY, YOU WITH ELWOOD NOW,
AIN'T YOU?
YOU'RE ELWOOD'S HOMEY?
YEAH.
HE'S MY ROOMMATE.
OH, YOU'RE ROOMMATES?
THAT'S REAL NICE, MAN.
[ MID-TEMPO INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING ]
UH, SCOTCH ON THE ROCKS
AND A COCA-COLA, PLEASE.
DIDN'T EXPEC TO SEE YOU HERE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH.
WELL...HERE I AM.
THERE YOU GO.
OH, JESUS CHRIST.
LOOK HOW THEY GOT YOU
DRESSED UP.
AIN'T YOU SICK OF BEING FUCKED
BY A WHITE MAN?
YOU AND ME CAN STEP OUTSIDE
RIGHT NOW.
WHOA.
YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME?
UH-OH. CUSTOMERS.
WELL, MAYBE STRAIGHT UP,
HAND TO HAND, YOU GOT A SHOT.
[ CHUCKLES ] MAYBE.
BUT MAYBE I WEAR A BLADE.
MAYBE I GOT A .45 COCKED
AND LOCKED TO SHOVE UP YOUR ASS.
YOU AIN'T CONSIDERED THAT,
HAVE YOU?
HEY, YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING?
YOU AIN'T LIKE ELWOOD HERE.
YOU GOT GUTS.
GUYS LIKE YOU GE ALL THE MEDALS.
HEY, BOB.
BOB, GET YOUR ASS
OVER HERE.
THERE'S SOMEONE
I WANT YOU TO MEET.
EXCUSE ME.
HE MURDERED YOUR CAR?
YEAH. SHOT TO PIECES.
THE ENTIRE UNIT USED I FOR TARGET PRACTICE.
EVEN ME.
WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
THAT'S PRETTY EXTREME,
EVEN FOR HIM.
YEAH.
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
ARE YOU INTO SOME KIND OF SHI ON THE SIDE?
I'VE LIVED ON BASE
MY WHOLE LIFE.
I KNOW WHAT GOES ON.
I ALSO KNOW MY DAD DOESN'T TAKE
A DISLIKING TO JUST ANYONE.
OH, REALLY?
YEAH.
YOU'RE INTO SOMETHING,
AREN'T YOU?
A FIASCO.
A DEBACLE, EVEN.
WOULDN'T YOU SAY?
GOD DAMN IT.
IT WAS YOUR IDEA.
I'D NEVER HEARD
OF THE FUCKING IRON BOAR.
DO SOMETHING, THEN.
MARSHALL'S GOING TO TAKE
THAT PROMOTION
IF YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING.
TAKE THE INITIATIVE,
FOR GOD'S SAKE.
YOU'RE A SOLDIER.
GO ON THE ATTACK.
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
WHAT?
LEAVE IT TO ME.
TELL ME.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
TELL ME.
I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.
YOU HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM.
MY DAD'S A PRETTY HEAVY GUY.
HE CAN REALLY FUCK YOU UP.
WHEN YOU SAY FUCK ME UP,
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I MEAN FUCK YOU RIGHT UP.
HE'S DONE THREE TOURS
OF VIETNAM.
HE'S KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE.
WHOA. SO YOU'RE SAYING
HE'S GOING TO KILL ME?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT...
HE'S NOT A GUY TO MESS WITH.
WELL, WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME
ALL THIS?
I GUESS I DON'T WANT HIM
TO FUCK YOU UP.
YOU REALIZE THAT'S PROBABLY
THE NICEST THING
ANYONE'S SAID TO ME
IN MY WHOLE LIFE?
I LOVE THIS GUY,
DON'T YOU?
[ LAUGHS ]
GENERAL, EXCUSE ME.
THERE'S SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
YES.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE IDEA
OF A TRAINING EXERCISE?
UH, WHAT DO YOU HAVE
IN MIND?
WELL, WITH ALL THIS ACTIVITY
IN THE EAST,
I THOUGHT WE SHOULD STAY
ON OUR TOES.
MAYBE I COULD PUT A COMPANY OF
MY MEN UP AGAINST MARSHALL'S,
SEE HOW THEY GO.
YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE UP
FOR THIS SORT OF THING, WALLACE?
OH, YES, SIR.
IT COULD BE A STRAIGH DEFENSIVE/OFFENSIVE EXERCISE.
MAYBE THE, UH,
NUCLEAR FACILITY.
I COULD PUT MY MEN
ON A FULL ALERT,
SEE HOW THEY'D HOLD UP
AGAINST AN ATTACK.
YOU WANT TO DEFEND THE NUKE BASE
AGAINST MARSHALL'S INFANTRY?
YES, SIR.
PSST. CAN I SEE YOU
IN THE KITCHEN, PLEASE?
JUST A MOMENT, HONEY.
UH, MARSHALL,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
UH, SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
EXCELLENT.
I THINK I KNOW
WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS.
WHAT'S THAT?
YOU'RE BORED.
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
HEY, DO YOU EVER HAVE
FALLING DREAMS?
SURE.
I THINK SO.
I HAVE THIS SAME DREAM
ALL THE TIME
WHERE IT'S REALLY HIGH
AND I'M KIND OF FLOATING
AND THEN I FALL.
IS THAT THE SAME AS YOURS?
KIND OF.
WELL, WH--
WHAT HAPPENS IN YOURS?
I WAKE UP BEFORE I HI THE GROUND.
I ALWAYS HIT.
I DON'T WAKE UP.
THAT'S NOT NORMAL.
I KNOW.
I GOT A BAD FEELING.
ABOUT WHAT?
SOME STRANGE SHIT'S
BEEN GOING DOWN.
SAAD'S UP TO SOMETHING,
AND IT'S NOTHING GOOD.
I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THAT STASH
THAT DISAPPEARED.
I MEAN, PARSONS WAS STUPID,
BUT HE WASN'T CRAZY.
HE WOULDN'T TRY TO
RIP US OFF.
YEAH.
I'M GOING OU TO THE STORAGE ROOM LATER,
CHECK OUT THAT CABINET.
MAYBE HE PUT THE STASH
IN THERE WRONG OR SAAD
COULDN'T FIND IT.
OKAY.
DO YOU WANT TO KILL
RAY ELWOOD?
JESUS CHRIST, ROBYN.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
DO YOU?
WHAT'S HE BEEN SAYING?
NOTHING.
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE
LISTENING TOO MUCH
TO RAY FUCKING ELWOOD.
BUT YOU'VE KILLED PEOPLE BEFORE
IN WAR AND STUFF, RIGHT?
AND NOW YOU WANT TO KILL
RAY ELWOOD.
IT'S NO DIFFERENT, IS IT?
I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
[ DOOR OPENS ]
HOLY SHIT.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
WHO THE FUCK DID THA TO YOU?
[ Voice breaking ]
THOSE FUCKERS.
THOSE STUPID...STUPID...
HEY.
STUPID...FUCKERS.
TAKE IT EASY.
LET ME LOOK AT YOU.
[ SOBS ]
OH, FUCK.
HEY. COME ON.
CALM DOWN.
JUST LET ME CLEAN IT UP,
ALL RIGHT?
I'VE GOT SOME STUFF HERE.
[ COUGHS ]
TAKE THIS.
PUT IT UNDER YOUR TONGUE.
LET IT DISSOLVE.
WHAT IS THAT?
IT'LL CALM YOU DOWN.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
MAN, I TOLD YOU.
YOU CAN'T WALK AROUND THIS END
OF THE BASE ALONE AT NIGHT.
IT JUST AIN'T SAFE.
HEY, YOU WANT A BEER?
I'LL GET YOU A BEER, YEAH?
OKAY.
THANKS.
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
YOU KNOW, A LOT OF GUYS TAKE
A BEATING AROUND HERE.
JUST DON'T LET IT HAPPEN TWICE,
ALL RIGHT?
MY DAD, HE STILL KEEPS IN TOUCH
WITH HIS ARMY BUDDIES.
THE GUYS HE KNEW
FROM WORLD WAR II.
YOU KNOW, THEY GET TOGETHER
EVERY YEAR FOR A BARBECUE.
FRIENDS FOR LIFE, MAN.
[ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH.
I GUESS I'VE BEEN
KIND OF AN ASSHOLE TO YOU.
YOU KNOW,
THIS PLACE IS FUCKED UP.
IT FUCKS WITH YOUR HEAD,
AND...
SOMETIMES YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO TO TRUST, YOU KNOW?
YEAH.
WELL, I THINK TONIGH ENDED UP OKAY.
DON'T YOU THINK?
A STUNNING SUCCESS.
YOU SHOULD BE VERY HAPPY.
LIZ...
WHY DON'T YOU PUT THAT DOWN
FOR A WHILE?
HMM? HMM?
WELL, HONEY,
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
WALLACE...
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU EVEN HELD A RIFLE?
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHICH END
THE FUCKING BULLETS COME OUT?
WHY, IN YOUR OPINION,
WAS IT A GOOD IDEA
TO CHALLENGE MARSHALL
TO A TRAINING EXERCISE
WHEN YOU'RE SUPPLY
AND HE'S INFANTRY?!
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME
I SHOULD GO ON THE ATTACK.
RIGHT.
I SAID ATTACK.
I DIDN'T SAY FALL
ON YOUR OWN SWORD.
WELL, I-I HAD TO DO
SOMETHING.
AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I THINK I'VE GO MARSHALL'S NUMBER.
I KNOW HOW HE THINKS.
I KNOW HIS BATTLE STRATEGIES.
I'VE BEEN SUPPLYING HIM
IN REFORGER, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
I'M CONFIDEN I CAN SHOW HIM UP.
ALL I'VE GOT TO DO
IS DEFEND THE NUKE BASE
FOR 48 HOURS, RIGHT?
[ WHISTLING ]
[ DEBRIS FALLING ]
THE DEAL'S OFF.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
IT'S OFF?
THERE'S JUST SOME BAD SHI HAPPENING RIGHT NOW,
AND I CAN'T DO IT.
I'M SORRY.
THE GUNS ARE ALREADY SOLD.
IF YOU DON'T DELIVER,
THERE IS A BIG PROBLEM FOR ME.
LOOK, THEY KILLED
ONE OF MY GUYS.
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
DID YOU THINK THIS WOULD BE
LIKE A GAME?
A BIT OF FUN?
I DON'T KNOW.
YEAH.
SIT DOWN, PLEASE.
PLEASE SIT DOWN!
WE GOT NOTHING LEF TO TALK ABOUT.
[ SPEAKING TURKISH ]
THEY KILL YOUR FRIEND, HUH?
SOME FUCKING RUSSIANS KILLED
MY SON!
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
THEY TORTURED HIM
AND THEY SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD.
AND YOU TALK TO ME
ABOUT YOUR FRIEND?
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
ABOUT YOUR FRIEND!
THE DEAL IS STILL ON,
OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU.
I'LL COME AND FIND YOU,
AND I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU.
OKAY, MAN?
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
HOW'D IT GO?
GREAT. JUST GREAT.
[ VEHICLES PASSING ]
HOW THE FUCK ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO GET THE GUNS
OUT OF THE NUKE BASE IF THE
TRAINING EXERCISE IS HAPPENING?
IF BERMAN'S EXERCISE LASTS
ALL WEEKEND,
THEN THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE GONNA
GET THE GUNS OUT OF THERE.
THE ONLY WAY IS IF THE EXERCISE
FINISHES EARLY.
YEAH, MAN.
IF WE'RE NOT DEAD BY 1700,
WE'RE FUCKING DEAD.
RELAX.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA
TAKE CARE OF IT?
I SAID I'LL FUCKING
TAKE CARE OF IT.
Video:
HOLY SHIT.
GET OUT OF HERE.
THAT'S RIGHT, HONEY.
THIS HERE IS CLOSED
FOR BUSINESS, BABY.
GET UP. LET'S GO.
MOVE IT. MOVE IT.
[ MEN SHOUTING ]
WHAT YOU LOOKING AT, SON?
YOU BETTER GET ON UP OU OF HERE.
MOVE! MOVE!
MOVE IT!
GET UP OUT OF HERE!
LET'S GO!
LET'S GO. GET OUT.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
NOT YOU, ELWOOD.
Knoll: YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY
HERE, SERGEANT.
YOU CAN'T JUST WALK IN HERE
AND CLOSE THIS BAR DOWN.
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT.
YOU'RE A REAL BAD MOTHERFUCKER,
AIN'T YOU?
TAKE HIM TO THE SHED.
HEY!
GET THE FUCK OFF ME!
KICK HIS FUCKING ASS.
HEY! GET THE FUCK OFF,
YOU BASTARDS!
GUYS...
GET THE FUCK OFF ME!
[ GRUNTING ]
[ DE LA SOUL'S "SAY NO GO"
PLAYING ]
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
A LITTLE INVESTMENT ADVICE.
ON WHAT?
ON HOW MUCH
YOU THINK YOU'LL MAKE
ON THAT SHIPMEN YOU'VE GOT COMING IN.
[ KNOLL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]
IT'LL TIDE ME OVER.
WELL, DO YOU KNOW WHAT SECURITY
ON THAT WILL BE?
WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE HERE
TO GIVE ME A PRICE QUOTE.
YOU KNOW, THE THING I LOVE
ABOUT YOU, ELWOOD,
IS THAT IT DON'T TAKE YOU LONG
TO FIGURE OUT THE PLAY.
Knoll:
GET THE FUCK OUT.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
GET THE FUCK OUT!
YOU STUPID FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
GET OUT, FUCK!
Man: CALM DOWN.
[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
[ GRUNTING ]
FUCK HIM. FUCK HIM.
STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.
DON'T YOU LEARN?
HUH?
DON'T YOU FUCKING LEARN?
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
YOU WANT TO TALK BUSINESS,
RIGHT?
SO LET'S TALK BUSINESS.
OKAY.
OKAY.
LET'S TALK BUSINESS.
YOU WANT A CUT.
A CUT?
WHAT THE FUCK
YOU TALKING ABOUT, A CUT?
I'M YOUR BRAND-NEW
FUCKING PARTNER.
I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE SAVED
MY LIFE BACK THERE.
THANKS.
I OWE YOU ONE.
YOU OKAY?
THEY HURT YOU AGAIN?
NO. I JUST KIND OF GO A SORE ELBOW.
LISTEN.
I NEED A FAVOR.
YEAH. ANYTHING.
ANYTHING, MAN. WHAT IS IT?
WELL, THE THING
ABOUT COOKING SMACK IS,
TO NOT GET FUCKED UP
BY THE FUMES,
YOU GOT TO HAVE
A FULL STOMACH.
COOK SMACK ON AN EMPTY STOMACH,
YOU'LL BE STONED AS ANY JUNKIE.
PROBLEM WE GOT NOW IS WE'RE
COOKING 10 TIMES MORE
THAN WE'VE EVER DONE BEFORE.
SO TO STAY AWAKE,
WE HAVE TO EAT A BURGER
LIKE EVERY 15 MINUTES.
SO FOR SIX HOURS, LIKE --
THAT'S 24 BURGERS.
THAT'S A LOT OF BURGERS.
YEAH. I KNOW.
THEY DON'T TEACH YOU
ABOUT THIS STUFF IN BASIC.
SO LOOK. I NEED YOU TO DO
THE SHOPPING FOR ME.
GO INTO THE COMMISSARY HERE
AND GET FOOD.
BURGERS, HOT DOGS --
ANYTHING WITH MEAT.
LOTS OF MEAT.
YEAH. OKAY.
NO PROBLEM.
CATCH MY DRIFT HERE, RIGHT?
SAAD DOESN'T EAT MEAT.
HE'S DECIDED TO HOLD BACK.
HE WON'T COME
UNTIL TONIGHT.
THERE'S NO WAY HE'S GOING TO
MOUNT AN ATTACK IN THE DAY.
I THINK
YOU MAY BE RIGHT, SIR.
I KNOW I'M RIGHT, ELWOOD.
HE WANTS TO WAI TILL WE'RE WORN DOWN.
USED UP ALL OUR SUPPLIES.
HAD A FEW FALSE ALERTS.
TWO TRUCKS COMING, SIR.
AHA. BREAKFAST.
WE GOT FRESH COFFEE,
DOUGHNUTS, HASH BROWNS,
EGGS, FLAPJACKS.
GARCIA,
LET'S GET IN THERE.
YES, SIR.
THESE TWO TRUCKS,
LET THEM THROUGH.
YES, SIR.
STOP.
WHY THE HELL
DID THEY GO OVER THERE?
[ MEN SHOUTING ]
[ GUNFIRE ]
[ ALARM BLARING ]
Man:
GET THE FUCK IN THERE -- NOW!
MOVE! MOVE!
DROP YOUR WEAPONS!
MOVE IT!
BANG.
YOU'RE DEAD.
YEAH!
YEAH!
COME ON! LET'S GO!
LET'S GO!
WAY TO RUN IT!
WAY TO RUN IT! WHOO!
NICE PLAY!
NICE PLAY!
HERE WE GO!
COME ON! COME ON!
LINE UP!
[ MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]
YOU OKAY, SIR?
ELWOOD, DID I EVER TELL YOU
I MET PRESIDENT KENNEDY?
NO.
HE DELIVERED THE GRADUATION
ADDRESS AT THE ACADEMY.
YOU CAN'T TELL I FROM HIS PICTURES,
BUT UP CLOSE,
IN PERSON, HE...
HE JUST HAD THIS CHARISMA.
I SHOOK THE PRESIDENT'S HAND.
I FELT HIS STRENGTH,
AND I THOUGHT...
"I CAN DO ANYTHING
I SET MY MIND TO."
DO YOU KNOW WHA GENERAL LANCASTER CALLED ME?
INCOMPETENT.
WILL HE INCLUDE THA IN YOUR EFFICIENCY REPORT, SIR?
[ Laughing ] OH, YEAH.
YES, I'M SURE HE WILL.
THE GENERAL HAS RELIEVED ME
OF MY COMMAND.
MARSHALL SAID HIS EXECUTIVE
OFFICER COULD TAKE OVER.
I'M REALLY SORRY, SIR.
YOU KNOW WHA I'M GOING TO DO, ELWOOD?
I'M GOING TO TAKE MY PENSION
AND BUY THAT VINEYARD.
I THINK THAT'S WHA I'M GOING TO DO.
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
SUCH A BAD IDEA, DOES IT?
MAKE SURE AND GIVE THE TURK
ALL MY LOVE.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
HEY, YOU FEEL BAD
ABOUT BERMAN?
OH, FUCK, NO.
YOU DON'T FEEL BAD
ABOUT TIPPING OFF MARSHALL?
I THOUGHT YOU LIKED BERMAN.
YEAH. WAY I SEE IT,
I DID HIM A FUCKING FAVOR.
BERMAN'S TOO NICE OF A GUY
FOR THE ARMY.
YEAH. LOOK, I KNOW I DID I TO SAVE MY OWN ASS.
BUT HE'S GOING TO MAKE
HIS FUCKING WINE.
WE'RE STUCK HERE,
UP TO OUR NECKS IN SHIT.
WHY THE DELAY?
COULDN'T FIND THE BASE?
YOU BOYS ARE LOOKING
KIND OF TENSE.
OH, WE'RE HAVING A BALL.
LET'S GET THIS STUFF INSIDE.
SO, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE
TO COOK THIS STUFF?
MOST OF THE NIGHT.
WHAT THE FUCK
IS HE DOING HERE?
HE'S WITH ME.
GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
WHOA, WHOA.
SAAD, DO ME A FAVOR
AND PUT THAT OUT -- NOW.
I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND.
THIS IS HIGHLY FLAMMABLE SHIT.
NOW, LISTEN UP.
WE COOK SIX HOURS.
AND WE HAVE TO KEEP I AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE
TO 85 DEGREES CENTIGRADE.
WHAT HAPPENS
IF IT GOES BELOW?
IF IT GOES BELOW 80,
THE REACTION STOPS,
WE'VE GOT TO COOK LONGER.
IF IT GOES ABOVE 90,
THE MORPHINE IS DESTROYED.
AND IF IT BOILS, WELL...
"WELL" WHAT?
LET'S JUST SAY COOKING
SMACK IS LIKE PREPARING
THANKSGIVING DINNER
WHERE ONE OF THE INGREDIENTS
IS A HAND GRENADE.
THIS SHIT EXPLODES?
KA-BOOM.
WELL, LOOK, YOU BETTER KNOW WHA THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING, THEN.
I JUST HOPE THE VENTILATORS
CAN HANDLE IT.
THIS IS WAY MORE THAN WE'VE
EVER DONE BEFORE, MAN.
YEAH, IF WE CHANGE THE
FILTER ELEMENT EVERY HOUR,
IT SHOULD BE OKAY.
YOU ON IT, GARCIA?
I'M ON IT, MAN.
SAAD, DO YOU WANT A HOT DOG?
NO, I DON'T WAN NO FUCKING HOT DOG.
YOU AIN'T GO NO VEGETARIAN SHIT?
HOT DOGS ARE MADE UP OF LIPS,
UDDERS, AND ASSHOLES.
I'M SURPRISED
YOU DON'T WANT ONE.
I'LL FUCK YOU UP,
MOTHERFUCKER.
WHOA. GUYS.
PLEASE JUST FUCKING CU THE SARCASM.
CAN WE JUST EAT OUR HOT DOGS
AND CHILL OUT?
NOT YOU, OF COURSE, SAAD.
[ LIGHTER OPENS ]
OKAY. SIX HOURS.
MARK IT NOW.
KNOLL.
I'M GONNA GO GET SOME REST.
I'LL BE BACK AT 0400.
I'M LEAVING YOU IN CHARGE.
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY?
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
YOU LEAVING?
WHERE YOU GOING?
WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?
JUST KICK BACK.
WATCH SOME TV.
EDUCATE YOURSELF.
YOU OWN THIS BASE, RIGHT?
Man on TV:
...ALL AFTERNOON.
IT IS CLEAR THAT THIS WILL BE
ONE OF BERLIN'S
MOST DRAMATIC DAYS.
ROBYN?
COME ON UP.
I DON'T THINK SO.
JUST GET UP HERE.
COME ON UP.
COME ON.
JUST A BIT FURTHER.
JESUS CHRIST.
THIS IS NOT FUN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
YOU SCARED?
OF COURSE I'M NOT SCARED.
I WON'T PUSH YOU.
YEAH, WELL,
I'D APPRECIATE THAT.
[ LAUGHS ]
COME ON. COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON.
COME OUT TO THE EDGE.
[ Laughing ]
TAKE ANOTHER STEP.
TAKE ANOTHER TWO STEPS.
JUST A LITTLE BIT FURTHER.
COME ON.
SIT DOWN.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
[ LAUGHS ]
WHAT WOULD IT TAKE
TO MAKE YOU JUMP?
A PARACHUTE.
OH, FUCK.
THAT'S REALLY HIGH.
MAYBE YOU GET USED TO I AFTER A WHILE.
I THINK THE POINT IS
NOT TO GET USED TO IT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHY ARE YOU PUTTING
YOUR ARMS UP LIKE THAT?
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
ROBYN.
OH.
FUCK IT.
ROBYN.
[ GASPS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
Man on TV:
...BRUSSELS CHANGED ALL THAT.
A RELIEVED CHANCELLOR KOHL
COULD NOW OFFER HIS ELECTORATE
WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN DEMANDING,
WHILE THE PRESIDENT SEEMED
HAPPY TO CELEBRATE...
[ KOHL SPEAKING GERMAN ]
Translator: MR. PRESIDENT,
WE'RE GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
[ SPEAKING GERMAN ]
YOU ARE A FRIEND
AMONG FRIENDS.
WHY YOU MOTHERFUCKERS EA SO DAMN MUCH?
'CAUSE WE'RE GROWING LADS.
WE NEED TO KEEP
OUR STRENGTH UP.
[ GRUNTS ]
I DON'T FEEL TOO GOOD.
Video: MM-HMM.
LET ME GE ONE OF THOSE BURGERS.
NO FUCKING WAY, SAAD.
THIS SHIT'S LIKE POISON
FOR YOUR BODY.
WOULDN'T WANT YOU BLOCKING UP
YOUR ARTERIES.
FUCK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT.
FUCK YOU.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
KNOLL.
SHIT.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
IT'S...MIDNIGHT.
FUCK.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHERE YOU GOING?
FUCK.
I GOT TO GO.
CAN I COME?
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
Knoll:
THEY'RE IN THERE.
OH, FUCK.
Robyn:
LEAVE HIM ALONE!
STOP IT!
SIR, COULD I ASK YOU TO PLEASE
TAKE HER OUT OF HERE?
"S-SIR"?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "SIR"?
[ GASPS ]
LET ME GO!
[ GRUNTS ]
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
SECOND LIEUTENAN BRIAN KNOLL...
VOLUNTEERED TO GO UNDERCOVER.
PFC KNOLL.
OUR OFFICER IN THE HOLE.
[ Straining ]
DON'T KICK ME.
Man on TV:
FROM THE MOMENT THE FIRST WAVE
OF EAST GERMANS
CROSSED INTO BERLIN
IN THE EARLY HOURS
OF THIS MORNING...
Video: WHERE IS
THE BERLIN WALL, ANYWAY?
Rothfuss:
IT'S IN BERLIN, YOU DUMB FUCK.
YEAH, I KNOW IT'S IN BERLIN.
WHAT COUNTRY IS IT IN?
IT'S IN GERMANY, MAN.
FUCKING...GERMANY.
WEST GERMANY.
WEST GERMANY?
WELL, WHICH ONE
ARE WE IN, THEN?
ARE WE IN WEST GERMANY,
OR ARE WE IN EAST GERMANY?
WE'RE IN EAST.
WE'RE IN WEST GERMANY,
YOU IDIOT.
Squash:
WELL, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
FUCK IF I KNOW, MAN.
[ MEN SHOUTING ]
GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS
IN THE AIR!
YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST!
NOW!
PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS
IN THE AIR!
GET 'EM UP!
I'M WARNING YOU!
DROP THAT WEAPON.
OH, YOU PUT YOUR SHIT DOWN,
MOTHERFUCKER.
PUT IT DOWN!
IT'S MY MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE.
DROP THE FUCKING WEAPON.
NO. FUCK THAT.
DON'T MAKE ANOTHER MOVE!
NO. YOU PUT YOUR SHIT DOWN.
FUCK YOU!
Man on TV:
COME ON! COME ON!
Sgt. Lee:
IT'S OVER.
IT'S ALL OVER.
[ Weakly ]
WHAT'D YOU DO WITH ROBYN?
DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT HER.
SHE'S GOT NOTHING TO DO
WITH YOU ANYMORE.
[ GRUNTS ]
LET ME GO, YOU FUCK!
KIMBOROUGH, YOU READ ME?
[ GUNFIRE CONTINUES ]
Hey, Kimborough, I'm in.
UH, WE GOT SOME RESISTANCE,
BUT NOTHING WE CAN'T HANDLE.
SO YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING I TO MY DAUGHTER,
AND YOU THINK
THAT'S MAKING WAR?
WAR, YOU DUMB FUCK,
IS PLAYING FOR KEEPS.
SOMEBODY AS STUPID AS YOU,
ELWOOD, DESERVES TO GO DOWN.
WITHOUT YOUR MUSCLE,
YOU TURN TO SHIT.
NO BACKUP. TOO EASY.
WHAT?
WHO DO YOU THINK
TOOK OUT STONEY?
YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID.
HE'S GONNA KILL HIM.
[ IGNITION BUZZES ]
CAN YOU --
CAN YOU WAIT ONE SECOND?
LISTEN TO ME. HE'S --
MY DAD IS GOING TO KILL HIM.
HE'S REALLY GOING TO DO
SOMETHING BAD.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
WHERE'S HE TAKING HIM?
WHAT'S HE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?
HE'S TAKING HIM
TO THE STOCKADE.
HE'S NOT TAKING HIM
TO THE STOCKADE.
THE STOCKADE'S THE OTHER WAY.
CAN YOU PLEASE JUST GO AND SEE
WHERE HE'S TAKING HIM?
[ ENGINE REVS, TIRES SCREECH ]
[ GUNFIRE IN DISTANCE ]
[ ALARM BLARES ]
YOU WANT TO HEAR THE SECRE OF VIETNAM?
THE SECRET OF VIETNAM
IS SIMPLE.
I LOVED IT.
WHOLE DAMN THING WAS NOTHING
BUT FUN.
I'M JUST BEING HONEST.
I FUCKING WELL LOVED IT.
EVERYONE ELSE WOULD, TOO,
IF WE'D HAVE WON IT.
AND I DID ALL SORTS OF SHIT.
EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN DOING
HERE AND MORE.
LOTS MORE.
Man on TV:
...A NEW ERA --
[ GRUNTS ]
LET GO! LET GO!
LET GO!
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
HOLD IT, SERGEANT.
GET AWAY FROM THE WINDOW.
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE, SIR?
GET AWAY FROM THE WINDOW,
OR I WILL SHOOT YOU, SERGEANT.
YOU'RE GONNA SHOOT ME?
YOU GOT THE BALLS TO DO
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
[ RUMBLING ]
THE BOILING POINT.
Elwood:
"WHEN THERE IS PEACE,
THE WARLIKE MAN ATTACKS
HIMSELF."
THAT'S NIETZSCHE.
AND HIS POINT IS THAT THERE
REALLY IS NO PEACE.
THERE'S ALWAYS SOME WAR
SOMEWHERE WITH SOMEONE.
AND THERE ARE NO WINNERS
OR LOSERS, EITHER.
JUST THOSE THAT ARE
STILL AROUND
TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY.
Woman: 23 U.S. SERVICEMEN
WERE KILLED LAST NIGH WHEN A HUGE EXPLOSION ROCKED
THE DISPENSARY BUILDING
OF THE THEODORE ROOSEVEL ARMY BASE IN WEST GERMANY.
ARMY SPOKESMEN HAVE BLAMED
THE BLAST ON A GAS LEAK,
ALTHOUGH PENTAGON SOURCES HAVE
NOT RULED OUT THE POSSIBILITY
OF A TERRORIST BOMB.
A MIRACULOUS SURVIVOR
OF THE BLAST,
PRIVATE RAYMOND ELWOOD,
IS IN CRITICAL CONDITION
AFTER BEING BLOWN FROM THE
FIFTH FLOOR OF THE BUILDING.
PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH HAS SEN THE HOPES AND WISHES
OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
TO PRIVATE ELWOOD
AND ALL THE OTHER INJURED
FOR A SPEEDY RECOVERY.
Col. Armstrong:
A PURPLE HEART AND, UM...
NO. WHAT IS IT?
DEFENSE SUPERIOR SERVICE
MEDAL, SIR.
GAS EXPLOSION.
WELL, THAT'S WHAT I READ
IN THE "STARS AND STRIPES."
THEY THINK IT WAS
A GAS EXPLOSION?
YES, SIR.
THAT'S WHAT THEY THINK.
AND THIS, UH, ROBERT LEE,
THE SERGEANT WHO GO THE POSTHUMOUS SILVER STAR,
YOU KNEW HIM WELL, DID YOU?
YES, SIR.
HIS DAUGHTER'S MY SWEETHEART.
IS THAT RIGHT?
I DIDN'T -- I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
HOW'S SHE DOING?
SHE'S DOING OKAY, SIR.
SHE'S AT COLLEGE
STUDYING POLITICS.
POLITICAL SCIENCE,
TO BE EXACT.
SHE'S GOT HER SEMESTER BREAK
NEXT MONTH,
AND SHE'S GOING TO FLY
OVER HERE TO SEE ME.
WELL, I LOOK FORWARD
TO MEETING HER.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE OKAY STANDING?
IF THE LEG STARTS GETTING WEARY,
YOU JUST COP A SQUAT ANYTIME.
OH, I'LL BE FINE.
THANKS, SIR.
OKAY.
IT REALLY IS HEALING
QUITE NICELY.
I THINK THE TROPICAL AIR
IS DOING IT SOME GOOD.
SO YOU LIKE IT HERE
IN HAWAII?
YEAH.
I'M SETTLING IN.
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S GOOD.
NOW, LET'S SEE.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?
OH, JUST SOME
REQUISITIONS, SIR.
1,000 GALLONS OF MOP AND GLO.
REALLY NEED THAT MUCH?
WELL, CLEANLINESS IS
NEXT TO GODLINESS.
WELL, THAT'S
WHAT I ALWAYS SAY, SIR.
[ DE LA SOUL'S "HELD DOWN"
PLAYS ]
THIS IS DEDICATED
TO ALL MY FOLKS
DIAGNOSED WITH A BAD CASE
OF THAT PROPER UPBRINGIN'
AND NEVER TOOK THE TIME
TO FALL IN LINE OR FOLLOW
OR SWALLOW THE THOUGHTS
OF THE RECOGNIZED COMMITTEES
WHO LURK THROUGHOUT YOUR
CITY, YOUR HOOD, YOUR TOWN
NO MATTER WHICH TYPE,
YOU'RE FROM THE SAME TYPE
OF PEOPLE TRY TO
HOLD YOU DOWN
JUST BECAUSE
YOU'RE TAILOR-MADE
FOR BIGGER
AND BETTER THINGS
NEVER MISSED A CHANCE
TO MOVE AHEAD OF THINGS
AND WHAT DOES IT BRING?
I TELL YOU FOR ME IT BROUGH JEALOUSY AND BACK WOUNDS
FROM ALL THE STABBIN'
CATS POSING AS MY FAM JUST TO
GET TO GRABBIN' WHAT'S MINE
I'M LIVING IN TIMES
WHERE MY DAUGHTERS ARE FOUND
AROUND KIDS WHO CAN'T AFFORD
THINKING CAPS
BUT ALWAYS FOUND DRINKING
RAPS AND EATIN' ON BEATS
CLAIMING LAWS OF THE STREETS,
BUT WHO MADE THE LAWS?
EVERYBODY PLAYIN' REBEL
WITH NO SIGN OF A CAUSE
WELL, I FEEL THE WORLD
AROUND ME
I'VE FOUND THAT OTHERS
WILL BRING YOU DOWN
JUST TO BE DOWN
YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE UP
YOUR MIND
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE
WHERE YOU WANT TO GO
WITH YOUR LIFE
WITH YOUR LIFE
I'M NEVER SINGIN' THE BLUES
BUT FINDIN' THE CLUES
TO MAINTAIN
AND I'VE BEEN BLESSED
TO REIGN SUPREME
OVER NEARLY EVERY DREAM
I HAD
AND I'VE MADE IT COME TRUE
I'M AN IMPERFECT MAN
AND I'M HOLDING THE CLUE
TO PERFECTION
IT DOESN'T SEEM TO MATTER
WHAT DIRECTION I LOOK
I FIND PEOPLE SETTING TRAPS
TRYING TO FIND THE GOLD
WITHOUT HAVIN' ANY MAPS
EVEN FRIENDS OF MINE
JUMPED ON LINE
JUST TO BECOME MY ADVERSARY
THEY FELT THEY WERE ENTITLED
TO THE DAIRY I'VE MADE
THEY DON'T COME TO CHILL
OR BEHAVE
AND THEY GOT TOAS READY TO BURN
NOT LEARNING TO LIVE
BUT THEY'RE YEARNING TO TAKE
WHAT YOU EARN
WELL, I FEEL THE WORLD
AROUND ME
I'VE FOUND THAT OTHERS
WILL BRING YOU DOWN
JUST TO BE DOWN
YOU SEE, YOU'VE GOT TO
MAKE UP YOUR MIND
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE
AND WHERE YOU WANT TO GO
WITH YOUR LIFE
WITH YOUR LIFE
SO QUICK TO PLACE BLAME
AND DENY THE SHAME
WE BRING UPON OURSELVES
SO MANY NAMES HELD
ACCOUNTABLE
FOR MY OWN ACCOUNTS
WHEN A LARGE AMOUN WAS WEIGHT
THAT I MADE AND SHAPED
WHEN I CLIMBED, I FOUND
IT WAS HARD TO FIND OTHERS
AROUND TO POINT MY FINGERS AT
WHICH MADE ME REALIZE
THE TRUTH
THE BIGGEST OPPRESSOR CAN BE
YOUR OWN EGO
LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE
TO PLANT ROOTS
IN A FIELD OF SELF-SORROW
TO SPROUT AND FOLLOW
THE FIRST THING YOU FEEL
NOURISHES YOUR HUNGER
TO BE RESPECTED
IT GETS HECTIC
AND WHEN I'M WATCHING
THE NEWS
AND MY DAUGHTER WALKS IN
AND CHOOSE TO ASK,
"WHY WERE ALL THOSE PEOPLE
ON THE FLOOR SLEEPING,
COVERED IN RED?"
I TOLD HER THAT THEY WERE
LOOKING FOR GOD
BUT FOUND RELIGION INSTEAD
WELL, I FEEL THE WORLD
AROUND ME
I'VE FOUND THAT OTHERS
WILL BRING YOU DOWN
JUST TO BE DOWN
YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE UP
YOUR MIND
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE
AND WHERE YOU WANT TO GO
WITH YOUR LIFE
WITH YOUR LIFE
[ CHOIR HARMONIZING ]
OH, YEAH
WELL, I FEEL THE WORLD
AROUND ME
I'VE FOUND THAT OTHERS
WILL BRING YOU DOWN
JUST TO BE DOWN
YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE UP
YOUR MIND
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE
AND WHERE YOU WANT TO GO
WITH YOUR LIFE
WITH YOUR LIFE,
WITH YOUR LIFE
[ MUSIC SLOWS, ENDS ]
Pilot: Eagle, say again.
Repeat, please, Eagle.
[ Static ]
Radio operator:
Can you confirm deployment?
Roger that, Eagle.
Stand by.
[ ENGINES HUMMING ]
Copy that.
We got a target confirmed.
Eagle is green for go. Repeat.
Eagle is green for go.
Copy that.
Deployment in 15 seconds.
Bombardier, give me a confirm
on target three zero niner.
[ MECHANICAL WHIRRING ]
Uh, that's three zero niner.
Confirm.
Copy, bombardier.
Okay.
In 3, 2, 1.
[ WIND WHISTLING ]
Elwood:
FALLING.
MY WORST FEAR IS FALLING.
FALLING LIKE A BOMB.
YOU SEE, LIFE FOR ME IS ABOU DISTRACTIONS.
I TRY TO KEEP LOOKING UP
AND FORGET ABOUT WHAT'S DOWN.
BUT WHEN I DREAM, I FALL.
[ ENGINE RACING ]
Man: LEFT.
LEFT.
LEFT.
OH, SOLDIERS
Men:
OH, SOLDIERS
COMBAT SOLDIERS
COMBAT SOLDIERS
PICK UP YOUR WEAPON
AND FOLLOW ME
PICK UP YOUR WEAPON
AND FOLLOW ME
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
101
101
SCREAMIN' EAGLES
SCREAMIN' EAGLES
PICK UP YOUR ROPES
AND FOLLOW ME
PICK UP YOUR ROPES
AND FOLLOW ME
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
82nd
82nd
AIRBORNE SOLDIER
AIRBORNE SOLDIER
PICK UP YOUR JUMPERS
AND FOLLOW ME
PICK UP YOUR JUMPERS
AND FOLLOW ME
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
FOLLOW ME TO VICTORY
[ MEN GRUNTING ]
MAN!
YOU CAN'T DO THAT, MAN.
WHAT?
THAT'S A FOUL.
I DIDN'T GRAB YOU.
DUDE, YOU GRABBED ME, MAN.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
MAN, I DIDN'T GRAB YOU.
WHY YOU LYING?
MAN, ELWOOD.
YO, ELWOOD, MAN.
HE GRABBED ME, RIGHT?
YOU SAW IT.
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE.
YOU SEE, MAN?
YOU CAN'T GRAB LIKE THAT.
FUCK YOU, MAN.
Elwood: VIETNAM WAS THE THORN
IN EVERYBODY'S SIDE.
THEY STOPPED THE DRAF AND ASKED FOR VOLUNTEERS.
EXCEPT NOBODY VOLUNTEERED.
I MEAN, WHO WANTS TO PLAY
FOR A LOSING TEAM?
SO WHERE'D THEY GO TO FIND
THE NEW PATRIOTS?
ANSWER -- PRISON.
TAKE CONVICTED FELONS
AND GIVE THEM A CHOICE.
SERVE TIME
OR SERVE YOUR COUNTRY.
CRIMINALS AND HIGH-SCHOOL
DROPOUTS TRAINED TO KILL.
I KNOW SOMETHING NOW.
PRISON WOULD HAVE BEEN
A HELL OF A LOT SAFER.
IT'S FUCKING HOLDING, DUDE.
YOU WANT TO TRY IT AGAIN,
THEN, MOTHERFUCKER,
WITH A SNAP THIS TIME?
FINE BY ME.
LET'S GO, BABY.
HEY, VIDEO, THROW ME
THE GODDAMN BALL.
OKAY, BUT I'M QUARTERBACK.
CAN I BE QUARTERBACK?
COME ON. COME ON.
YEAH, YEAH. COME ON.
Squash: ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SEE WHAT THEY GOT.
[ MEN SHOUTING ]
HEY, YO.
CAN I PLAY?
WHOA, WHOA.
PARSONS.
GOT SOMETHING FOR ME THERE?
YOU PUT I IN THE BATTERY, RIGHT?
YEAH, YEAH. NO PROBLEM.
HEY, CAN I PLAY, TOO?
I WAS CHAMPION WIDE RECEIVER
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I CAN CATCH THAT BALL, MAN.
PARSONS, YOU'RE SO FUCKED UP
YOU COULDN'T CATCH A BUS.
STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY AND LE THE BROTHER PLAY SOME BALL.
FUCK YOU, TOO, MAN!
COME ON! GET DOWN!
GET DOWN!
ON "HUT." DOWN.
Video: SET.
COME ON. COME ON.
BRING IT ON.
GIVE ME SOME, MAN!
HUT!
MOTHERFUCKER.
THESE WERE MY GUYS.
FIGHTING THE DULL FIGHT.
SOLDIERS WITH NOTHING TO KILL
EXCEPT TIME.
THEY KNOW THAT WAR IS HELL.
BUT PEACE,
PEACE IS FUCKING BORING.
GIVE ME THE BALL.
YO.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
GIVE ME BACK
THE MOTHERFUCKING BALL, MAN.
NO, NO, NO.
UH, GUYS?
GUYS.
GUYS!
WHAT?!
UH, JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.
PARSONS IS DEAD.
PARSONS McCOVEY WAS A CASUALTY
OF WAR.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE WAS
THAT THIS WAS THE COLD WAR
AND HE WAS A FUCKED-UP JUNKIE.
THERE'D BE NO HERO'S BURIAL
FOR PARSONS.
"I REGRET THE DEATH
OF YOUR SON IMMENSELY.
"HE WAS PERSONALLY KNOWN TO ME,
AND THERE WAS NOBODY
"IN THE BATTALION I WOULD HAVE
TRUSTED MORE WITH MY LIFE.
"IN HIM WERE RESPLENDENT THE
VIRTUES OF HONOR AND LOYALTY
"TO HIS COUNTRY AND GOD
THAT ARE
"WHAT KEEP
OUR CIVILIZATION TOGETHER.
"HE FELL OFF THE ROOFTOP
OF HIS BARRACKS
"WHILE TRYING TO MAKE
TECHNICAL REPAIRS TO THE ANTENNA
THAT WE USE TO GUARD
AGAINST THE ENEMY."
"TECHNICAL REPAIRS"?
WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
OH, I TRIED TO THINK
WHAT McCOVEY MIGHT BE DOING
UP THERE, SIR.
OKAY. GO ON.
"HE DIED, THOUGH NOT IN COMBAT,
STILL IN THE LINE OF DUTY,
"AND HE HAD HIS COUNTRY
UPPERMOST IN HIS MIND.
"MY DEEPEST REGRETS.
COLONEL WALLACE BERMAN,
UNITED STATES ARMY, COMMANDING."
YOU KEPT THIS ONE SHORT,
ELWOOD.
YEAH. I THOUGHT IT MIGH BE BETTER NOT TO GE LOST IN DETAILS, SIR.
I LIKE THE TOUCH ABOUT ME
TRUSTING HIM WITH MY LIFE.
IT'S A NEW ANGLE, SIR.
HERE'S SOMETHING, THOUGH.
UH, THE WORD
"RESPLENDENT" --
I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD WORD
TO DESCRIBE A SOLDIER.
WE'VE GOT TO COME UP
WITH SOMETHING ELSE THERE.
WHAT ABOUT "CONTAINED"?
"IN HIM WERE CONTAINED THE
VIRTUES OF HONOR AND LOYALTY."
THAT'S MUCH BETTER.
DON'T YOU THINK?
OH, MUCH BETTER, SIR.
SCRATCH "RESPLENDENT."
DON'T LET THAT WORD LEAVE
THIS BASE.
YES, SIR.
OKAY, LET'S SEE. WHAT IS THIS?
WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
JUST SOME REQUISITIONS, SIR.
1,000 GALLONS OF MOP AND GLO.
MY GOD.
DO WE REALLY NEED THAT MUCH?
WELL, CLEANLINESS IS
NEXT TO GODLINESS.
HERMAN THE GERMAN.
HOW GOES IT?
HOW DO YOU DO, MEIN FREUND?
HOW ARE YOU?
DOING JUST FINE.
DOING JUST FINE.
SO, WE DO
SOME BUSINESS TODAY?
SURE THING. GUYS?
[ LIQUID POURING ]
I THINK YOU'LL BE PLEASED.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
AND LOOK AT THE SPARKLE.
THAT'S REAL CLEANING POWER.
SEHR GUT SCHEISSE, JA?
SEHR GUT SCHEISSE,
MEIN FREUND.
U.S. ARMY'S FINEST.
500 GALLONS READY TO GO.
THREE THINGS I LOVE
ABOUT GERMANY.
MY MERCEDES-BENZ.
NO SPEED LIMIT ON THE AUTOBAHN.
AND A BLACK MARKET FOR ANYTHING
I CAN GET MY HANDS ON.
1989
THE NUMBER
ANOTHER SUMMER
GET DOWN!
SOUND OF THE FUNKY DRUMMER
MUSIC HITTIN' YOUR HEAR 'CAUSE I KNOW YOU GOT SOUL
HEY
BROTHERS AND SISTERS!
LISTEN IF YOU'RE MISSIN',
Y'ALL
SWINGIN' WHILE I'M SINGIN'
HEY!
GIVIN' WHAT YOU'RE GETTIN'
KNOWIN' WHAT I KNOW
WHILE THE BLACK BAND'S
SWEATIN'
AND THE RHYTHM RHYME'S
ROLLIN'
GOT TO GIVE US WHAT WE WAN YEAH!
GOT TO GIVE US WHAT WE NEED
HEY!
OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH
IS FREEDOM OF DEATH
WE GOT TO FIGHT THE POWERS
THAT BE
FIGHT THE POWER
FIGHT THE POWER
FIGHT THE POWER
FIGHT THE POWER
HEY, ELWOOD.
WHAT'S UP, MAN?
OUTSTANDING, HICKS.
HOW YOU DOING?
SO...
YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD,
HICKS.
YOU GOT ANYTHING?
DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU WANT.
UH, IT'S...HORSE.
CAN'T HELP YOU.
YOU KNOW -- FUCK.
ELWOOD, UH...
I OUTRANK YOU, MAN,
SO DON'T GIVE ME ANY...CRAP.
I APPRECIATE THAT,
BUT I CAN'T HELP YOU.
LOOK, MAN. I DON'T DO RETAIL.
I ONLY COOK THE SHIT.
WHY DON'T YOU GO SEE
SERGEANT SAAD?
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
BUM-RUSH THE SHOW
YOU GOT TO GO FOR
WHAT YOU KNOW
Elwood: SO THERE'S BASICALLY
TWO KINDS OF GUYS IN THE ARMY.
THE MOTHERFUCKERS
AND THE MOTHERFUCKED.
SERGEANT SAAD IS
THE THIRD KIND.
HE FUCKS THE MOTHERFUCKERS.
WHICH IS DOABLE WHEN YOU'RE
THE CHIEF M.P. BY DAY
AND THE DIRECTOR OF
RETAIL HEROIN SALES BY NIGHT.
NOW, ME AND SAAD,
WE WERE ABLE TO COEXIS MAINLY BECAUSE
OF MY COOKING SKILLS.
IN THE DISPENSARY BUILDING
RIGHT ON BASE,
I'D COOK HIGH-GRADE
TURKISH MORPHINE
INTO HIGH-GRADE HEROIN.
AND THEN I'D WHOLESALE I STRAIGHT TO HIM.
EVERYONE WAS HAPPY.
SO, HOW MUCH WE GET?
WELL, AFTER WE GIVE
THE TURK BACK HIS SHARE,
WE GOT, UH, TWO, FOUR, SIX...
NINE GRAMS.
NINE GRAMS?
SIX HOURS OF COOKING AND ALL
WE GET IS NINE GRAMS?
HEY, YOU WANT TO TELL THE TURK
YOU'RE NOT HAPPY WITH OUR CUT,
BE MY GUEST.
BULLSHIT, MAN.
WE'RE THE ONES DOING ALL
THE WORK, TAKING ALL
THE RISK DOWN HERE,
AND SAAD'S MAKING
ALL THE PROFIT.
GARCIA, I'M GONNA JUST NEED YOU
TO DO YOUR JOB, ALL RIGHT?
CAN YOU WATCH
THOSE THERMOMETERS
AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH EATING
THOSE HOT DOGS?
CAN YOU HANDLE THAT?
Col. Berman:
HEROIN, COCAINE, MARIJUANA,
LYSERGIC ACID DIETHYL...
WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS.
AMPHETAMINES, TRACES
OF BARBITURATES, ESTROGEN.
ESTROGEN?
McCOVEY WAS ON THE PILL?
HOW COULD THIS BE POSSIBLE?
WELL, HE MIGHT HAVE TAKEN I BY MISTAKE, SIR.
WHAT?
A BIRTH-CONTROL PILL.
HE MIGHT HAVE THOUGH IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE.
WELL, FINE, BUT HE DIDN'T TAKE
HEROIN, SPEED,
AND COCAINE BY MISTAKE,
DID HE?
IT SEEMS UNLIKELY, SIR.
THIS ISN'T GOOD, ELWOOD --
DRUGS ON THE BASE LIKE THIS.
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT THIS?
HOW COULD SOMEONE
GET DRUGS IN?
I REALLY DON'T KNOW, SIR.
I ALWAYS TRY TO KEEP AWAY FROM
PEOPLE LIKE PARSONS McCOVEY.
ELWOOD, WE'VE GOT TO TRY TO
CLEAR THIS MATTER UP,
GOD DAMN IT.
I CANNOT -- NO. NO, NO, NO.
SCRATCH THAT.
I WILL NOT HAVE THIS KIND
OF THING GOING ON AT MY BASE.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M SAYING?
MY OFFICER-EVALUATION
REPORT GOES
IN FRONT OF GENERAL LANCASTER
IN THREE WEEKS.
I DON'T GET THAT GODDAMN STAR,
I'M FINISHED.
SIR,
YOU'VE GOT TO RELAX --
DON'T YOU TELL ME TO RELAX,
GOD DAMN IT.
YOU, WHO ARE AN E4.
I'M A GODDAMN FULL-BIRD COLONEL.
YOU DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT.
YOU UNDERSTAND ME, SOLDIER?
YES, SIR.
OH, J-JESUS, ELWOOD.
I'M...
I DIDN'T MEAN TO TAKE IT OU ON YOU.
ELWOOD, I'M S-- I'M SORRY.
IT'S OKAY, SIR.
I UNDERSTAND THE KIND
OF PRESSURE YOU'RE UNDER.
THIS ISN'T MINE.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT IT.
AND THERE'S NO SMOKING
IN HERE.
OH.
I NEED SOMEONE TO SIGN HERE.
IT SAYS "BERMAN."
YOU'RE BERMAN?
YEAH, WELL, I'M COLONEL BERMAN,
ALL RIGHT,
BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT ANY GODDAMN CHAIR.
I'M TELLING YOU, SON,
IT'S NOT MINE.
IT IS YOURS.
OH, LIZ.
HELLO, DARLING.
ISN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL?
IT'S FOR YOU.
IT'S FOR ME?
I GOT IT FOR UNDER 30.
I DON'T THINK THEY KNEW
WHAT THEY HAD.
30,000?
I COULDN'T BELIEVE
IT WAS SO CHEAP.
DOLLARS
OR DEUTSCHE MARKS?
WHAT DO YOU THINK, ELWOOD?
DO YOU LIKE THE NEW CHAIR?
WELL, CAN YOU SI ON IT, MA'AM?
NO, OF COURSE YOU CAN'T SI ON IT. IT'S AN ANTIQUE.
OH.
WELL, IT'S VERY NICE.
DARLING, CAN I BORROW ELWOOD
FOR A FEW HOURS?
THERE ARE SOME THINGS
I NEED HIM TO DO.
[ MOANING
PLEASURABLY ]
GOD.
[ GRUNTS ]
WAIT.
ALMOST. ALMOST.
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
[ GROANS ]
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
Man on TV:
...THE DEAL SIGNED
EXACTLY A YEAR AGO IN STOCKHOLM
TO BUILD EAST/WEST TRUS AND REDUCE THE RISK OF WAR.
EAST AND WES HAVE ALWAYS FEARED
THAT SUCH AN ENORMOUS EXERCISE
MIGHT BE USED AS A COVER
FOR A BUILDUP TO WAR.
YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT YET.
SORRY. YOU ANGRY?
NO.
RAY, HONEY,
I NEED YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR.
THE COLONEL'S GIVING A PARTY,
AND I NEED YOU TO FIND OU ABOUT DECORATIONS.
WHAT'S HE WANT A PARTY FOR?
HE WANTS TO IMPRESS
THE GENERAL.
HIS POSITION'S UNDER REVIEW, AND
I THOUGHT A PARTY WOULD HELP.
WILL YOU?
HMM?
HMM?
OH, YOU MEAN A PARTY PARTY?
LIKE, BERMAN'S FUN --
[ GASPS ] OH.
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
[ MOANS SOFTLY ]
...TO ENSURE NO CHEATING
IN THE FUTURE.
AND ALL SIDES AGREE
THIS FIRST ON-SITE VERIFICATION
OF CONVENTIONAL FORCES IS
A MAJOR STEP FORWARD
IN BUILDING NEW TRUS AND CONFIDENCE.
CAN YOU SWITCH THAT OFF?
JUST TURN THAT ENGINE OFF
AND COME ON OVER HERE.
[ ENGINE TURNS OFF ]
Elwood:
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING
THIS HUMMER?
UH, WE HAVE ORDERS HERE
FROM COLONEL BERMAN.
OKAY.
WHO ARE YOU?
SPECIALIST RAY ELWOOD.
WHAT'S THIS?
UH, WE HAVE ORDERS
FROM THE COLONEL
TO PICK UP PARTY, UH,
DECORATIONS IN MANNHEIM.
PARTY DECORATIONS.
YES, FIRST SERGEANT.
COLONEL'S HAVING A PARTY.
SOUNDS LIKE
A PRETTY DANGEROUS MISSION.
UM, NO DISRESPECT INTENDED,
BUT MAY I ASK WHO YOU ARE?
YEAH, YOU CAN ASK.
I'M YOUR NEW TOP.
FIRST SERGEANT ROBERT E. LEE.
WELL, PLEASED TO MEET YOU, TOP.
WELCOME TO THE 317th.
WELL, THANKS, SPECIALIST.
I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE GETTING
A NEW TOP.
WHY WOULD YOU?
WELL, I'M
BATTALION CLERK HERE.
I USUALLY DO PAPERWORK
ON ALL THE TRANSFERS.
OKAY. THANKS, GUYS.
I'M SORRY TO KEEP YOU.
NO PROBLEM.
HOLD FOR A SECOND, THERE.
YOU GOT THE TIME, SON?
OH, YEAH.
IT'S, UH, ALMOST 10:00.
WELL, THAT'S A NICE WATCH.
SHOW ME THAT.
WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?
MY FATHER, UH, GAVE IT TO ME.
YOUR FATHER GAVE IT TO YOU.
HE MUST BE QUITE A GUY.
WHAT'S HE DO?
HE'S A BARBER.
BARBER.
GEE. HE MUST CU A LOT OF HAIR.
YEAH.
OKAY.
YOU BETTER BE GOING, THEN.
DON'T WANT TO BE LATE PICKING UP
THEM PARTY DECORATIONS.
LET'S GO.
[ DR. OCTAGON'S "BEAR WITNESS"
PLAYS ]
[ INDISTINCT VOICES ON RADIO ]
BEAR WITNESS
BEAR WITNESS
CREATIN' RAP MUSIC
'CAUSE I NEVER DONE DISCO
Man on radio: Bravo two zero.
Bravo two zero, come in.
Bravo two zero.
Bravo two zero, come in.
SHIT.
TURN THAT DOWN, MAN.
TURN DOWN THE FUCKING MUSIC.
DUDE, YOU'RE FUCKING CLOSER.
Bravo two zero, please respond.
What's going on, Hicks?
I'M NOT GETTING UP.
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
UH...
BRAVO TWO ZERO HERE.
Bravo two zero, commence attack
on maneuver area
two niner Alfa Romeo.
Take position on phase line
Foxtrot Delta four seven.
[ LAUGHING ]
FUCK.
WHAT THE HELL'S...
TWO NINE ALFA ROMEO?
Garcia: I GOT A VERY WEIRD VIBE
FROM THAT GUY.
I PERSONALLY
DIDN'T LIKE HIM.
HE'S OUR NEW TOP.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
OH, YEAH? WELL, WHAT WAS
THAT SHIT ABOUT THE ROLEX, MAN?
WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
HE COULD KNOW
ABOUT THE OPERATION.
HE COULD KNOW SOMETHING.
JESUS CHRIST. DON'T GE FUCKING PARANOID, GARCIA.
JUST BE COOL.
I'M COOL.
FUCK, MAN.
I CAN BE COOL.
WELL, GOOD.
THAT'S WHY I'M TELLING YOU.
[ "HOLY CALAMITY
(BEAR WITNESS II)" PLAYS ]
FIGURED OU WHERE WE'RE GOING YET, MAN?
UH, NO.
WE'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY.
SHIT.
UH, HEY, JOHNNIE,
MAKE A-A LEFT.
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS,
LAUGHTER ]
BREAK, BREAK, BREAK,
BREAK, BREAK
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
I TOLD YOU TO MAKE A LEF ACROSS THAT FIELD.
I DID, MAN.
I WENT LEFT.
[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ]
[ BOTH SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]
[ "HOLY CALAMITY" CONTINUES ]
WHAT WAS THAT BUMP?
OH, SHIT, MAN.
WE JUST RAN OVER A CAR, MAN.
WE JUST SQUASHED A CAR!
WHAT KIND OF CAR?
A VOLKSWAGEN.
A FUCKING BEETLE.
OH, NO.
WE SQUASHED A BEETLE.
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
LOOK OUT, MAN.
Stop.
STOP!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
[ ENGINE RUMBLING ]
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING HERE?
WHOA!
STOP. STOP!
WOW, MAN. THESE DUDES ARE
FREAKING ME OUT.
OH, I DON'T LIKE THEM,
EITHER, MAN.
HEY, JOHNNIE,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST, UH,
GET US AWAY
FROM THESE FUCKERS?
WHAT THE FUCK
IS HE DOING, MAN?
HOLY SHIT.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THESE MONITORS?
THEY'VE GONE ALL ORANGE.
JOHNNIE, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
TO GET US OUT OF HERE.
[ INDISTINCT VOICES ON RADIO ]
THAT'S OUR FUCKING UNIT.
JUST UP AHEAD.
Man on radio: Is that you
back there, Bravo two zero?
Did you complete
your two niner Alfa Romeo?
UH, WE, UH,
COMPLETED THAT.
[ LAUGHING ]
Okay. Good work, guys.
Get in formation.
Garcia:
OH, SHIT!
[ DOG BARKING ]
OH, JESUS CHRIST.
THESE GUYS ARE DEAD.
GARCIA, GET IN THE TRUCK
AND FOLLOW ME.
WHAT?
HEY, WHAT'S IN THE TRUCKS?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT LET'S FIND OUT.
HEY, NO WAY, MAN.
JUST GET IN THE FUCKING TRUCK.
ALL RIGHT.
OH.
JACKPOT.
OH, SHIT.
HOLY SHIT.
GRENADE LAUNCHERS.
MAG GUNS.
STINGER MISSILES.
JESUS CHRIST.
THIS IS WORTH MILLIONS.
$3 MILLION, MAYBE.
MAYBE $5 MILLION.
IT'S ALL BRAND-NEW.
HEY, WE GOT TO
TAKE THIS BACK.
THIS STUFF GETS US NOTHING
BUT HEAVY JAIL TIME.
OH, WE'RE NO TAKING THIS BACK.
THIS IS BIG-TIME.
WE CAN RETIRE ON THIS.
WELL, I AGREE 100%.
HEY, THIS IS WAY OU OF OUR LEAGUE.
THEY KILL YOU FOR STUFF
LIKE THIS.
THIS IS VERY SERIOUS SHIT.
THERE'S NO TIME LIKE NOW.
GUYS, IF WE PULL THIS OFF --
THERE'S NO TIME LIKE NOW?
ARE YOU CRAZY?
WE'RE NOT WEAPONS DEALERS.
WILL YOU KINDLY SHUT UP?
MAN, YOU'RE SO NEGATIVE
ALL THE TIME.
I DON'T LIKE IT, ALL RIGHT?
I'M TRYING TO THINK.
HEY.
HEY.
WE'RE SMART, RIGHT?
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
YEAH.
THEN WE CAN DO THIS.
WE CAN DO THIS.
OH, MAN.
WHAT DO WE DO WITH THIS SHIT?
WELL, FIRST WE NEED TO
STORE IT.
AND I KNOW THE PERFECT PLACE.
HEY, THIS PLACE GIVES ME
THE CREEPS.
YEAH.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO.
HEY, FRANK.
WHAT'S UP?
HEY, ELWOOD.
WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?
NOTHING MUCH, NOTHING MUCH.
LOOK, I GOT SOME STUFF
I NEED TO STORE.
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?
SURE THING, MAN.
HEY, A-ARE WE GONNA PARTY
AFTERWARDS?
DOES THE POPE SHI IN THE WOODS?
HEY, WE CAN DO
A LOT OF THINGS
WITH THE CASH WE MAKE
OFF OF THIS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT OPENING UP A BAR?
A NICE, CLASSY PLACE.
ME AND YOU WOULD BE
PARTNERS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SURE. WHY NOT?
WHOA!
THIS ONE READY TO GO?
YEAH. ALMOST. ALMOST.
EASY.
YOU BE ALL RIGHT?
YEAH.
YOU AIN'T OUT IN 30,
I'M COMING IN.
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL BE FINE.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
ELWOOD.
HOW ARE YOU, MY FRIEND?
HEY, DAVOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
I'M WELL.
ARE YOU HUNGRY?
YOU WANT SOMETHING TO EAT?
OH, NO. I'M FINE. THANKS.
I'D BETTER GET UP TO...
OKAY.
SAY HI TO YOUR SISTER,
ALL RIGHT?
HMM.
A LOT OF GUNS.
WHERE'D YOU GE ALL THIS STUFF?
SANTA CLAUS.
[ Laughing ]
SANTA CLAUS.
THAT'S FUNNY.
SO HE CAME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
AND PUT IT UNDER THE TREE, HUH?
YEP.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
SO...
HOW ABOUT THIS?
I GIVE YOU 20 KILOS
ON TOP OF MY NEXT SHIPMENT,
AND YOU COOK THAT ALONG WITH
MY SHARE OF THE SHIPMENT...
AND YOU MAKE A LOT OF MONEY.
20 KILOS?
MM-HMM.
NO. I WANT CASH.
LOOK, I KNOW SOMEBODY ELSE
WHO'S VERY INTERESTED
IN THIS MERCHANDISE, MAN.
OKAY.
MAYBE THEY'LL PAY YOU CASH.
I HATE TO BREAK
THAT 30 MARK.
IT'S, UH, A RELIGIOUS THING
WITH ME.
I'M AFRAID YOU'LL HAVE TO,
'CAUSE 30 KILOS IS
MY FINAL OFFER.
[ LAUGHS ]
HE'S SENDING US 30 KEYS.
ONE WEEK.
30 KEYS?
HOLY SHIT.
THAT'S A...
A LOT.
WELL, HOW DO WE COOK THAT MUCH?
IT'LL TAKE US LIKE A YEAR.
IT'S GONNA BE COOL.
[ INDISTINCT VOICE ON TV ]
[ CLATTERING ]
Man on TV:
POLITICALLY,
MR. GORBACHEV HAS NEVER BEEN
MORE VULNERABLE.
THIS IS REALLY IMPRESSIVE.
HEY, GUYS, CAREFUL WITH MY SHIT,
ALL RIGHT?
YOU'RE PRETTY WELL-EQUIPPED
FOR A SPEC 4.
I GOT RECEIPTS
FOR EVERYTHING.
I'M SURE YOU DO.
HEY, TOP.
LOOK AT THIS.
CHECK AND SEE
IF THERE'S ANYTHING INSIDE.
NOTHING.
MMM, MMM, MMM.
I'LL BE THIS DON'T COME CHEAP.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
THIS AIN'T EXACTLY REGULATION
STUFF HERE, IS IT, SOLDIER?
WELL, I DON'T REALLY KNOW.
NO. I GUESS NOT.
LOOK, I'M GONNA COME
AROUND HERE TOMORROW,
AND I WANT THIS PLACE LOOKING
LIKE A REGULAR QUARTERS.
YOU FOLLOW?
LOOK, I KNOW IT AIN' EXACTLY REGULATION.
BUT THE LAST TOP DIDN'T SEEM TO
MIND ABOUT ALL THIS.
WELL, HIM AND ME
ARE A BIT DIFFERENT.
LOOK, TOP, IS THERE A WAY
YOU AND I COULD TALK IN PRIVATE?
THESE GUYS
KIND OF MAKE ME NERVOUS.
DOES IT REALLY HAVE TO PLAY
THIS WAY, TOP?
HOW DO YOU SUGGES WE PLAY IT?
WELL, WHAT IS IT YOU WANT?
I MEAN, YOU AND ME,
I THINK WE --
I THINK WE GOT A LO IN COMMON.
BARRIERS ARE COMING DOWN
IN HUNGARY.
SO MUST THEY FALL THROUGHOUT ALL
OF EASTERN EUROPE.
FOR EXAMPLE, I SEE YOU'RE AN
ADMIRER OF JAPANESE TECHNOLOGY.
NO PROBLEM.
THE TV IS YOURS.
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS...
WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE
FOR YOU AND ME TO MAKE NICE?
ARE YOU SAYING
WHAT I THINK YOU'RE SAYING?
[ APPLAUSE ON TV ]
THE WORLD HAS WAITED --
THERE'S YOUR ANSWER.
Man:
FIVE METERS.
ELWOOD.
HEY.
THIS WILL TAKE A SECOND.
I'LL MEET YOU DOWN THERE.
ALL RIGHT.
WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO
IN SUCH A HURRY?
OH, NOWHERE, REALLY.
I JUST HAD A COUPLE THINGS
TO DO.
YOU'RE ALWAYS OFF
WITH YOUR BUDDIES.
I NEVER SEE YOU ANYMORE.
WELL, IT'S JUST BECAUSE
I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY.
BUSY?
YEAH.
THE GUEST LIST.
GUEST LIST?
PARTY?
YOU'RE STILL HELPING ME.
OH, THE PART-- YEAH.
SURE. DEFINITELY.
WE JUST FOUND OUT THE COLONEL'S
RELATED TO THE IRON BOAR.
THE IRON WHAT?
THE IRON BOAR.
AS IN MALE PIG.
I HAD A LAWYER TRACE
HIS FAMILY TREE,
AND IT TURNS OU HE'S A DISTANT RELATIVE
OF A CIVIL WAR HERO --
JOHN BELL HOOD.
THEY CALLED HIM
"THE IRON BOAR."
HE'S GOING TO ANNOUNCE IT TO
GENERAL LANCASTER AT THE PARTY.
I THINK IT'LL HELP
HIS PROMOTION.
Man:
THREE METERS.
SERGEANT LEE'S DAUGHTER.
THAT'S TOP'S DAUGHTER?
YOU'RE KIDDING.
SEE SOMETHING YOU LIKE,
ELWOOD?
Man:
EIGHT METERS.
10 METERS.
NICE DIVE.
THANKS.
THE NEW TOP.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'S UP TO?
HE'S JUST A WASHED-UP
VET WHO WANTS TO THROW HIS
WEIGHT AROUND A LITTLE BIT.
BUT RIGHT NOW HE'S ON
YOUR CASE, MY MAN.
YEAH. WELL...
HEY.
CHECK OUT THIS GIRL.
WHY?
THAT'S TOP'S DAUGHTER.
NO SHIT?
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING?
[ CHUCKLES ] YOU COULD BE
THINKING ALMOST ANYTHING.
MAYBE I SHOULD ASK HER OUT.
YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY.
YOU KNOW THAT?
IMAGINE HOW MUCH
THAT'LL FUCK WITH HIS HEAD.
IT'S PERFECT.
[ ENGINE SPUTTERING ]
HEY.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT A PROBLEM
WITH YOUR CAR.
YEAH.
IT WON'T START.
YEAH. IT MIGHT BE THE BATTERY.
WANT ME TO TAKE A LOOK?
YOU'RE ROBYN LEE, RIGHT?
YEAH.
HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?
I'M BATTALION CLERK HERE
FOR FIRST BATTALION.
KIND OF KNOW EVERYTHING.
HMM.
MUST BE HANDY.
HEY, YOU'RE A GOOD DIVER.
I SAW YOU IN THERE AT THE POOL
DIVING OFF THE HIGH PLATFORM.
I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU DO THAT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU SCARED OF HEIGHTS?
WELL, LET'S JUST SAY
YOU WOULDN'T GET ME UP THERE.
YOU SHOULD TRY IT.
IT'S FUN.
FUN?
WHY IS IT FUN?
FALLING THROUGH AIR.
IT'S KIND OF COOL.
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
YOU LIKE FALLING?
SURE. WHY NOT?
HEY, I THINK I FOUND
THE CULPRIT.
YOU WANT TO GIVE THAT A TRY?
[ DOOR CLOSES,
ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
WHAT A GUY.
THAT'S ME.
UH, ACTUALLY,
I'M RAY ELWOOD.
BUT EVERYONE CALLS ME
ELWOOD.
THANKS FOR FIXING
MY CAR, ELWOOD.
YEAH. NO PROBLEM.
SO, YOU WANT TO GO OU FRIDAY NIGHT?
Col. Berman: IT'S A VINEYARD
I VISITED LAST SUMMER.
JUST A SMALL ONE
IN THE NAPA VALLEY.
PINOT GRAPES.
IT'S FOR SALE.
YOU THINKING
OF BUYING IT, SIR?
WELL, I WISH.
NO.
BUT I HAVE A PRETTY DECEN COLLECTION BACK HOME,
AND I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED
WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE
TO MAKE MY OWN WINE.
I COULD
JUST ABOUT AFFORD IT.
OF COURSE,
IT'S UNREALISTIC.
HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING
ABOUT THOSE TWO TRUCKS
GONE MISSING?
WHAT TRUCKS, SIR?
DURING REFORGER,
TWO TRUCKS WENT MISSING.
THE DRIVERS WERE KILLED
IN AN ACCIDENT WITH A TANK
AT SOME GAS STATION
OUT NEAR KARLSRUHE.
THEY FOUND THE BODIES
OF THE DRIVERS, BUT THEY
CAN'T FIND THE TRUCKS.
HOW ODD.
YOU WANT TO HEAR
THE BEST PART?
WHAT'S THAT, SIR?
IT'S COLONEL MARSHALL'S
INFANTRY,
SO HE'S TAKING THE HEAT.
GREAT NEWS, SIR.
ELWOOD, COULD I TELL YOU
A LITTLE SECRET?
OF COURSE, SIR.
HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE CIVIL WAR
GENERAL, JOHN BELL HOOD?
THE IRON BOAR?
YOU KNOW OF HIM?
WELL, OF COURSE, SIR.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THE IRON BOAR.
I DIDN'T KNOW
HE WAS SO WELL-KNOWN.
IT TURNS OUT THAT I AM
AN ACTUAL RELATIVE.
A RELATIVE
OF THE IRON BOAR?
AWESOME.
I WANT YOU TO KEEP I UNDER YOUR HAT.
I'M GOING TO SURPRISE
THE GENERAL AT THE PARTY.
[ DOORBELL BUZZES ]
YEAH.
EXCUSE ME.
PRIVATE FIRST CLASS BRIAN KNOLL
REPORTING FOR DUTY, SIR.
WELL, I'M NOT AN OFFICER,
SO YOU CAN CUT THE "SIR" CRAP.
SORRY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I JUST ARRIVED THIS MORNING.
THE ORDERLY SENT ME DOWN HERE.
OH. GREAT.
WHAT'S THAT, YOUR 201 FILE?
YES, SIR. UH, YES.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
YOU CAN SIT DOWN IF YOU WANT.
SO, HOW COME
THEY ASSIGNED YOU HERE?
OH, I PUT IN FOR IT.
MY FIANCEE IS HERE ON BASE,
SO WE ARRANGED TO TRANSFER
TOGETHER.
OH. HOW SWEET.
WHO'S SHE?
MARGOLIS. CAROL ANN.
PRIVATE FIRST CLASS.
YOU CALL HER
BY HER LAST NAME?
WHAT DO YOU DO,
SALUTE IN BED?
IT SAYS HERE
THEY PUT YOU IN ROOM 519.
YEAH.
NO.
THAT -- THAT'S MY ROOM.
DIDN'T -- DIDN' SERGEANT LEE TELL YOU?
W-WE'RE GONNA BE ROOMMATES.
SO WHILE CAROL ANN'S BEEN HERE
FOR SIX MONTHS,
I'M STUCK IN SAN ANTONIO,
YOU KNOW, JUST PULLING
WHATEVER STRINGS I COULD.
Kissing the base commander's ass
like you would not believe.
Not literally.
But, boy, oh, boy.
SO CHECK THIS OUT.
SO THEN --
JESUS CHRIST.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
I GUESS I DON'T REALLY
GIVE A SHIT.
YOU'RE ONLY HERE 'CAUSE
SERGEANT FUCKING DICKHEAD LEE
IS ON MY CASE, ALL RIGHT?
AND UNTIL I GET THAT SHI STRAIGHTENED OUT, I DON'T WAN TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND
OR YOUR TRANSPORTATION PROBLEMS
OR ANYTHING AT ALL.
YOU ROGER THAT?
Man on TV: AT MILWAUKEE
AS THE STARTING QUARTERBACK...
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
HIYA, TOP.
HOW'S IT GOING?
DADDY, THIS IS RAY ELWOOD.
OH, YEAH.
WE ALREADY MET.
UM, I'M GOING OUT.
I WON'T BE HOME TOO LATE.
[ ENGINE REVS ]
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
HOW THE HELL CAN YOU AFFORD
THIS CAR?
OH, I GOT A GREAT DEAL.
MERCS ARE A LOT CHEAPER
IN GERMANY.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
WHAT?
YOUR DAD.
HE'S FOLLOWING US.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
HEY. HOW'S IT GOING?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HEY, ELWOOD.
WHAT'S UP?
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
[ SPEAKING GERMAN ]
[ NEW ORDER'S "BLUE MONDAY"
PLAYING ]
SO, WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH YOU AND MY DAD?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
THERE'S SOMETHING
GOING ON.
WELL, I'M THE NATURAL ENEMY
OF GUYS LIKE YOUR DAD,
MOSTLY BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE
A SHIT ABOUT THE ARMY.
IF YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT,
WHY'D YOU JOIN?
I DIDN'T EXACTLY HAVE
MUCH OF A SAY IN THE MATTER.
I GOT CAUGHT STEALING A CAR,
AND THE JUDGE GAVE ME A CHOICE.
EITHER SIX MONTHS IN PRISON
OR THREE YEARS IN THE ARMY.
SO I MADE THE MISTAKE
OF CHOOSING THE ARMY.
YEAH. YEAH.
I GET IT. I GET IT.
MY DAD USUALLY HAS A PROBLEM
WITH GUYS LIKE YOU.
SO YOU'RE OUT WITH ME
TO PISS HIM OFF.
NO. I, UH...
THAT'S IT, ISN'T IT?
YEAH, THAT'S -- I'M FUCKED UP.
I'M REALLY SORRY.
YEAH, THAT'S --
THAT'S DEFINITELY FUCKED UP.
LOOK, I'LL TAKE YOU HOME NOW.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET YOU
IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS.
YOU'RE SERIOUSLY OUT WITH ME
JUST TO PISS OFF MY DAD?
YEAH. YEAH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
HE'S THE FIRST SERGEAN OF YOUR COMPANY.
HE'S NOT SOMEBODY
YOU WANT TO PISS OFF.
YOU REALIZE HE'S GONNA
CUT YOUR BALLS OFF.
YEAH. PROBABLY.
SO WHAT IF I STAY?
THERE'S A CHANCE
YOU'RE GONNA LOSE YOUR BALLS.
DO YOU THINK I'M WORTH IT?
YEAH. SURE.
WHY NOT?
FINE.
DO YOU WANT ONE OF THESE?
WHAT IS THAT?
ECSTASY.
HOW DOES IT FEEL
TO TREAT ME LIKE YOU DO
WHEN YOU'VE LAID YOUR HANDS
UPON ME
AND TOLD ME WHO YOU ARE?
I THOUGHT I WAS MISTAKEN
I THOUGHT I HEARD
YOUR WORDS
TELL ME, HOW DO I FEEL?
TELL ME, NOW HOW DO I FEEL?
THOSE WHO CAME BEFORE ME
LIVED THROUGH
THEIR VOCATIONS
[ MUSIC FADES ]
I HAVE SOMETHING
I WANT TO SHOW YOU.
WHAT IS IT?
A BURN.
[ LAUGHS SOFTLY ]
HOW'D IT HAPPEN?
WHEN I WAS A KID,
MY DAD WAS DRUNK
AND HE DROPPED A CIGARETTE ON MY
NIGHTGOWN AND IT CAUGHT FIRE.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
IT'S REALLY UGLY,
ISN'T IT?
GET UP!
GET UP! GET UP!
AT THE ARMORY! FULL GEAR!
FIVE MINUTES!
FIVE MINUTES?
COUNT 'EM!
[ MEN SHOUTING IN DISTANCE ]
ELWOOD, WHAT THE HELL
ARE WE DOING?
TARGET PRACTICE.
ELWOOD, HAND ME YOUR RIFLE.
I WANT YOU TO PACK THE M60.
BUT I'M NOT QUALIFIED
TO OPERATE IT, TOP.
THERE'S A TIME AND PLACE
FOR EVERYTHING, ELWOOD.
YOU'RE GONNA LEARN
IN THE HEAT OF BATTLE.
HAND IT TO HIM.
THE 60 IS A HEAVY MOTHER.
SO AM I.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
Sgt. Lee:
WHAT'S THE MATTER, ELWOOD?
YOUR FITNESS LACKING?
YOU WANT TO DO THE
CONFIDENCE COURSE A FEW TIMES
TO GET YOU BACK INTO SHAPE?
NO, THANKS, TOP.
I'LL BE FINE.
I DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION
TO THAT SPOT OVER THERE
THAT HAS BEEN MARKED
WITH AN "X."
WE HAVE HERE THE PROTOTYPE
OF A NEW RUSSIAN TANK.
WE ARE HERE TO TES THE VULNERABILITY OF SAID TANK
TO SUSTAIN FIRE
FROM AN INFANTRY PLATOON.
SQUAD...
LOCK AND LOAD ONE MAGAZINE,
TAKE UP A GOOD FIRING POSITION.
YOU WILL FIRE ON MY COMMAND.
SUSTAIN FIRE UNTIL THE ORDER
TO CEASE FIRE HAS BEEN GIVEN.
READY!
FIRE!
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
SO YOU DID TOP'S DAUGHTER?
THINK I MAY HAVE A PROBLEM.
NO SHIT.
I LIKE HER.
I REALLY LIKE HER, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, SHE'S DIFFERENT, MAN.
SHE'S COOL.
THERE'S JUST -- I JUS FUCKING DIG HER, YOU KNOW?
THAT'S A PROBLEM.
YEAH.
ELWOOD.
HEARD YOU LOST YOUR RIDE,
THERE, BABY.
I WAS GETTING BORED
WITH THAT CAR ANYWAYS.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WELL, YOU BETTER TAKE NOTE,
THERE, STONEY.
IT AIN'T TOO HEALTHY
HANGING AROUND THIS GUY.
I MEAN, LOOK AT THE SHI HE'S MAKING YOU EAT.
OH, YOU WAN SOME MEAT LOAF, SAAD?
NOW, THAT'S A FUCKING INSUL TO ME.
I DON'T EAT MEAT.
YOU SEE, HUMAN BEINGS DON'T HAVE
THE PROPER TEETH
AND CAN'T DIGEST THAT SHIT.
IT STAYS IN YOUR GUTS
FOR THREE WEEKS, THEN IT ROTS.
THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
YOU AIN'T GOT NO DISCIPLINE.
ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE SOME
POINT HERE, SAAD, 'CAUSE...
YEAH.
THE CABINET IN THE STORAGE ROOM
WAS EMPTY, MAN.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
IT WAS EMPTY?
EMPTY.
IT MEANS NOTHING WAS IN IT.
IT MEANS I PAID MY HARD-EARNED
FOR THIN FUCKING AIR.
NO. WAIT. YOU LOOKED
INSIDE THE BATTERY, RIGHT?
LIKE ALWAYS, EXCEPT THIS TIME
NOTHING WAS IN IT.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
YOU TRYING TO PICK A FIGH WITH ME, ELWOOD?
IS THAT WHAT YOU
REALLY WANT TO DO?
I SENT PARSONS THERE
TO STASH IT.
STUPID FUCKING JUNKIE
PROBABLY DID SOMETHING WITH IT.
PARSONS AIN'T AROUND
NO MORE,
AND AIN'T THA REAL FUCKING CONVENIENT?
HEY, RELAX, MAN.
IT'S ALREADY SORTED.
I GOT A BRAND-NEW BATCH
READY FOR YOU.
MAINTENANCE AREA
AT THE SWIMMING POOL.
USUAL PLACE.
I PUT IT THERE MYSELF THIS TIME.
IT'S DEFINITELY THERE, OKAY?
IT FUCKING BETTER BE.
YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
THIS MEAT LOAF LOOKS GREAT,
DOESN'T IT?
IN THE ARTICLE -- IN...IN
THE ARTICLE, THERE WAS A PHOTO
OF THE CONFEDERATE GENERAL,
JOHN BELL HOOD,
AFFECTION-- AFFECTION--
AFFECT--
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN
AS "THE IRON BOAR."
KNOWN AS "THE IRON BOAR."
THE IRON BOAR.
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
NO ONE.
HOW ARE THINGS GOING
DOWNSTAIRS?
GET READY.
GUESTS WILL BE ARRIVING SOON.
I'M COMING.
I WAS READING A COPY
OF "THE MODERN SOLDIER,"
AND THERE WAS AN ARTICLE...
ON THE GUERRILLA FIGHTERS
IN THE CIVIL WAR.
THERE WAS A PHOTO
OF THE CONFEDERATE GENERAL,
JOHN BELL HOOD, AFFECTIONATE --
AFFECT-- AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN
AS "THE IRON BOAR."
THE IRON WHAT?
BOAR.
B-O-A-R.
AS IN MALE PIG.
IT WAS LIZ
WHO ACTUALLY NOTICED IT.
BUT THE RESEMBLANCE TO MYSELF
WAS ABSOLUTELY UNCANNY.
SO WE COMMISSIONED A LAWYER
TO BEGIN TRACKING DOWN
COURT RECORDS,
PASSENGER-SHIP LISTS --
THAT SORT OF THING --
AND IT WAS FINALLY CONFIRMED
JUST LAST WEEK
VIA WHAT HAS BECOME KNOWN
AROUND HERE
AS A "LYNCHBURG CONVERGENCE"
WHERE A CERTAIN TREVOR BERMAN
AND A HOOD GIRL KNOWN AS ETHYL
WED AND HAD TWO BOYS
IN THE TOWN OF LYNCHBURG,
VIRGINIA.
ONE OF THOSE BOYS, GARY BERMAN,
IS MY GREAT-GREAT-UNCLE.
A DESCENDAN OF THE WILD BOAR.
SIR, THAT'S THE IRON BOAR.
I GUESS I'M SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE
WITH FAMOUS RELATIVES.
ISN'T THAT SO, MARSHALL?
I TRY NOT TO PLAY IT UP.
BUT WHEN I FOUND OU I WAS RELATED
TO FORMER ARMY CHIEF OF STAFF
GENERAL GEORGE C. MARSHALL,
I GUESS IT GAVE ME
A STRONG SENSE OF MY HERITAGE.
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PROUD
OF MY FAMILY.
BUT KNOWING THAT I WAS FROM
FIGHTING STOCK...
AFFECTED ME QUITE PROFOUNDLY.
I SEEM TO RECALL
THIS GENERAL HOOD.
HE WAS INVOLVED IN SOME...
DISASTROUS BATTLE
AND LOST A LEG, DIDN'T HE?
I WOULDN'T SAY
IT WAS DISASTROUS.
AND AN ARM.
HE LOST AN ARM AS WELL,
DIDN'T HE?
NO.
HE DIDN'T LOSE AN ARM.
HE LOST THE USE OF IT.
HE KEPT THE ACTUAL ARM.
DRINK, GENERAL?
WHY, THANK YOU.
MRS. COLONEL?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T GO MUCH
FOR THIS LINEAGE SHIT.
I'M NOT RELATED
TO ANYONE FAMOUS,
AND THIS FAMILY-LINE BULLSHI MAKES ME FEEL INSECURE.
MY BELIEF IS IF YOU COME
FROM DIRT, YOU'LL FIGHT BETTER
BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO GO
BACK TO THE DIRT.
THE BEST FIGHTERS IN THE WORLD
ARE PEOPLE WITH NOTHING
TO LOSE.
GET ME ANOTHER ONE OF THESE,
WILL YOU?
RIGHT AWAY, SIR.
THANK YOU.
HOW'S IT GOING?
OH, THE USUAL --
BERMAN AND MARSHALL TRYING
TO SUCK A GENERAL'S DICK.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A PARTY
FOR OFFICERS ONLY.
Stoney: DAMN.
THE GENERAL'S SURE HAPPY
TO SEE HIS ASS.
HOW'S IT GOING?
WHAT YOU DOING WALKING
AROUND HERE, WHITE BOY?
YOU CRAZY OR SOMETHING?
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
I'M JUST TRYING TO GET BACK
TO MY ROOM.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T WAN ANY TROUBLE OR...
NO TROUBLE?
[ CHUCKLES ]
OKAY.
SAY, YOU WITH ELWOOD NOW,
AIN'T YOU?
YOU'RE ELWOOD'S HOMEY?
YEAH.
HE'S MY ROOMMATE.
OH, YOU'RE ROOMMATES?
THAT'S REAL NICE, MAN.
[ MID-TEMPO INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING ]
UH, SCOTCH ON THE ROCKS
AND A COCA-COLA, PLEASE.
DIDN'T EXPEC TO SEE YOU HERE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH.
WELL...HERE I AM.
THERE YOU GO.
OH, JESUS CHRIST.
LOOK HOW THEY GOT YOU
DRESSED UP.
AIN'T YOU SICK OF BEING FUCKED
BY A WHITE MAN?
YOU AND ME CAN STEP OUTSIDE
RIGHT NOW.
WHOA.
YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME?
UH-OH. CUSTOMERS.
WELL, MAYBE STRAIGHT UP,
HAND TO HAND, YOU GOT A SHOT.
[ CHUCKLES ] MAYBE.
BUT MAYBE I WEAR A BLADE.
MAYBE I GOT A .45 COCKED
AND LOCKED TO SHOVE UP YOUR ASS.
YOU AIN'T CONSIDERED THAT,
HAVE YOU?
HEY, YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING?
YOU AIN'T LIKE ELWOOD HERE.
YOU GOT GUTS.
GUYS LIKE YOU GE ALL THE MEDALS.
HEY, BOB.
BOB, GET YOUR ASS
OVER HERE.
THERE'S SOMEONE
I WANT YOU TO MEET.
EXCUSE ME.
HE MURDERED YOUR CAR?
YEAH. SHOT TO PIECES.
THE ENTIRE UNIT USED I FOR TARGET PRACTICE.
EVEN ME.
WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
THAT'S PRETTY EXTREME,
EVEN FOR HIM.
YEAH.
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
ARE YOU INTO SOME KIND OF SHI ON THE SIDE?
I'VE LIVED ON BASE
MY WHOLE LIFE.
I KNOW WHAT GOES ON.
I ALSO KNOW MY DAD DOESN'T TAKE
A DISLIKING TO JUST ANYONE.
OH, REALLY?
YEAH.
YOU'RE INTO SOMETHING,
AREN'T YOU?
A FIASCO.
A DEBACLE, EVEN.
WOULDN'T YOU SAY?
GOD DAMN IT.
IT WAS YOUR IDEA.
I'D NEVER HEARD
OF THE FUCKING IRON BOAR.
DO SOMETHING, THEN.
MARSHALL'S GOING TO TAKE
THAT PROMOTION
IF YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING.
TAKE THE INITIATIVE,
FOR GOD'S SAKE.
YOU'RE A SOLDIER.
GO ON THE ATTACK.
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
WHAT?
LEAVE IT TO ME.
TELL ME.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
TELL ME.
I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.
YOU HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM.
MY DAD'S A PRETTY HEAVY GUY.
HE CAN REALLY FUCK YOU UP.
WHEN YOU SAY FUCK ME UP,
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I MEAN FUCK YOU RIGHT UP.
HE'S DONE THREE TOURS
OF VIETNAM.
HE'S KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE.
WHOA. SO YOU'RE SAYING
HE'S GOING TO KILL ME?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT...
HE'S NOT A GUY TO MESS WITH.
WELL, WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME
ALL THIS?
I GUESS I DON'T WANT HIM
TO FUCK YOU UP.
YOU REALIZE THAT'S PROBABLY
THE NICEST THING
ANYONE'S SAID TO ME
IN MY WHOLE LIFE?
I LOVE THIS GUY,
DON'T YOU?
[ LAUGHS ]
GENERAL, EXCUSE ME.
THERE'S SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
YES.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE IDEA
OF A TRAINING EXERCISE?
UH, WHAT DO YOU HAVE
IN MIND?
WELL, WITH ALL THIS ACTIVITY
IN THE EAST,
I THOUGHT WE SHOULD STAY
ON OUR TOES.
MAYBE I COULD PUT A COMPANY OF
MY MEN UP AGAINST MARSHALL'S,
SEE HOW THEY GO.
YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE UP
FOR THIS SORT OF THING, WALLACE?
OH, YES, SIR.
IT COULD BE A STRAIGH DEFENSIVE/OFFENSIVE EXERCISE.
MAYBE THE, UH,
NUCLEAR FACILITY.
I COULD PUT MY MEN
ON A FULL ALERT,
SEE HOW THEY'D HOLD UP
AGAINST AN ATTACK.
YOU WANT TO DEFEND THE NUKE BASE
AGAINST MARSHALL'S INFANTRY?
YES, SIR.
PSST. CAN I SEE YOU
IN THE KITCHEN, PLEASE?
JUST A MOMENT, HONEY.
UH, MARSHALL,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
UH, SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
EXCELLENT.
I THINK I KNOW
WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS.
WHAT'S THAT?
YOU'RE BORED.
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
HEY, DO YOU EVER HAVE
FALLING DREAMS?
SURE.
I THINK SO.
I HAVE THIS SAME DREAM
ALL THE TIME
WHERE IT'S REALLY HIGH
AND I'M KIND OF FLOATING
AND THEN I FALL.
IS THAT THE SAME AS YOURS?
KIND OF.
WELL, WH--
WHAT HAPPENS IN YOURS?
I WAKE UP BEFORE I HI THE GROUND.
I ALWAYS HIT.
I DON'T WAKE UP.
THAT'S NOT NORMAL.
I KNOW.
I GOT A BAD FEELING.
ABOUT WHAT?
SOME STRANGE SHIT'S
BEEN GOING DOWN.
SAAD'S UP TO SOMETHING,
AND IT'S NOTHING GOOD.
I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THAT STASH
THAT DISAPPEARED.
I MEAN, PARSONS WAS STUPID,
BUT HE WASN'T CRAZY.
HE WOULDN'T TRY TO
RIP US OFF.
YEAH.
I'M GOING OU TO THE STORAGE ROOM LATER,
CHECK OUT THAT CABINET.
MAYBE HE PUT THE STASH
IN THERE WRONG OR SAAD
COULDN'T FIND IT.
OKAY.
DO YOU WANT TO KILL
RAY ELWOOD?
JESUS CHRIST, ROBYN.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
DO YOU?
WHAT'S HE BEEN SAYING?
NOTHING.
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE
LISTENING TOO MUCH
TO RAY FUCKING ELWOOD.
BUT YOU'VE KILLED PEOPLE BEFORE
IN WAR AND STUFF, RIGHT?
AND NOW YOU WANT TO KILL
RAY ELWOOD.
IT'S NO DIFFERENT, IS IT?
I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
[ DOOR OPENS ]
HOLY SHIT.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
WHO THE FUCK DID THA TO YOU?
[ Voice breaking ]
THOSE FUCKERS.
THOSE STUPID...STUPID...
HEY.
STUPID...FUCKERS.
TAKE IT EASY.
LET ME LOOK AT YOU.
[ SOBS ]
OH, FUCK.
HEY. COME ON.
CALM DOWN.
JUST LET ME CLEAN IT UP,
ALL RIGHT?
I'VE GOT SOME STUFF HERE.
[ COUGHS ]
TAKE THIS.
PUT IT UNDER YOUR TONGUE.
LET IT DISSOLVE.
WHAT IS THAT?
IT'LL CALM YOU DOWN.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
MAN, I TOLD YOU.
YOU CAN'T WALK AROUND THIS END
OF THE BASE ALONE AT NIGHT.
IT JUST AIN'T SAFE.
HEY, YOU WANT A BEER?
I'LL GET YOU A BEER, YEAH?
OKAY.
THANKS.
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
YOU KNOW, A LOT OF GUYS TAKE
A BEATING AROUND HERE.
JUST DON'T LET IT HAPPEN TWICE,
ALL RIGHT?
MY DAD, HE STILL KEEPS IN TOUCH
WITH HIS ARMY BUDDIES.
THE GUYS HE KNEW
FROM WORLD WAR II.
YOU KNOW, THEY GET TOGETHER
EVERY YEAR FOR A BARBECUE.
FRIENDS FOR LIFE, MAN.
[ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH.
I GUESS I'VE BEEN
KIND OF AN ASSHOLE TO YOU.
YOU KNOW,
THIS PLACE IS FUCKED UP.
IT FUCKS WITH YOUR HEAD,
AND...
SOMETIMES YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO TO TRUST, YOU KNOW?
YEAH.
WELL, I THINK TONIGH ENDED UP OKAY.
DON'T YOU THINK?
A STUNNING SUCCESS.
YOU SHOULD BE VERY HAPPY.
LIZ...
WHY DON'T YOU PUT THAT DOWN
FOR A WHILE?
HMM? HMM?
WELL, HONEY,
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
WALLACE...
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU EVEN HELD A RIFLE?
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHICH END
THE FUCKING BULLETS COME OUT?
WHY, IN YOUR OPINION,
WAS IT A GOOD IDEA
TO CHALLENGE MARSHALL
TO A TRAINING EXERCISE
WHEN YOU'RE SUPPLY
AND HE'S INFANTRY?!
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME
I SHOULD GO ON THE ATTACK.
RIGHT.
I SAID ATTACK.
I DIDN'T SAY FALL
ON YOUR OWN SWORD.
WELL, I-I HAD TO DO
SOMETHING.
AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I THINK I'VE GO MARSHALL'S NUMBER.
I KNOW HOW HE THINKS.
I KNOW HIS BATTLE STRATEGIES.
I'VE BEEN SUPPLYING HIM
IN REFORGER, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
I'M CONFIDEN I CAN SHOW HIM UP.
ALL I'VE GOT TO DO
IS DEFEND THE NUKE BASE
FOR 48 HOURS, RIGHT?
[ WHISTLING ]
[ DEBRIS FALLING ]
THE DEAL'S OFF.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
IT'S OFF?
THERE'S JUST SOME BAD SHI HAPPENING RIGHT NOW,
AND I CAN'T DO IT.
I'M SORRY.
THE GUNS ARE ALREADY SOLD.
IF YOU DON'T DELIVER,
THERE IS A BIG PROBLEM FOR ME.
LOOK, THEY KILLED
ONE OF MY GUYS.
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
DID YOU THINK THIS WOULD BE
LIKE A GAME?
A BIT OF FUN?
I DON'T KNOW.
YEAH.
SIT DOWN, PLEASE.
PLEASE SIT DOWN!
WE GOT NOTHING LEF TO TALK ABOUT.
[ SPEAKING TURKISH ]
THEY KILL YOUR FRIEND, HUH?
SOME FUCKING RUSSIANS KILLED
MY SON!
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
THEY TORTURED HIM
AND THEY SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD.
AND YOU TALK TO ME
ABOUT YOUR FRIEND?
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
ABOUT YOUR FRIEND!
THE DEAL IS STILL ON,
OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU.
I'LL COME AND FIND YOU,
AND I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU.
OKAY, MAN?
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
HOW'D IT GO?
GREAT. JUST GREAT.
[ VEHICLES PASSING ]
HOW THE FUCK ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO GET THE GUNS
OUT OF THE NUKE BASE IF THE
TRAINING EXERCISE IS HAPPENING?
IF BERMAN'S EXERCISE LASTS
ALL WEEKEND,
THEN THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE GONNA
GET THE GUNS OUT OF THERE.
THE ONLY WAY IS IF THE EXERCISE
FINISHES EARLY.
YEAH, MAN.
IF WE'RE NOT DEAD BY 1700,
WE'RE FUCKING DEAD.
RELAX.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA
TAKE CARE OF IT?
I SAID I'LL FUCKING
TAKE CARE OF IT.
Video:
HOLY SHIT.
GET OUT OF HERE.
THAT'S RIGHT, HONEY.
THIS HERE IS CLOSED
FOR BUSINESS, BABY.
GET UP. LET'S GO.
MOVE IT. MOVE IT.
[ MEN SHOUTING ]
WHAT YOU LOOKING AT, SON?
YOU BETTER GET ON UP OU OF HERE.
MOVE! MOVE!
MOVE IT!
GET UP OUT OF HERE!
LET'S GO!
LET'S GO. GET OUT.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
NOT YOU, ELWOOD.
Knoll: YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY
HERE, SERGEANT.
YOU CAN'T JUST WALK IN HERE
AND CLOSE THIS BAR DOWN.
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT.
YOU'RE A REAL BAD MOTHERFUCKER,
AIN'T YOU?
TAKE HIM TO THE SHED.
HEY!
GET THE FUCK OFF ME!
KICK HIS FUCKING ASS.
HEY! GET THE FUCK OFF,
YOU BASTARDS!
GUYS...
GET THE FUCK OFF ME!
[ GRUNTING ]
[ DE LA SOUL'S "SAY NO GO"
PLAYING ]
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
A LITTLE INVESTMENT ADVICE.
ON WHAT?
ON HOW MUCH
YOU THINK YOU'LL MAKE
ON THAT SHIPMEN YOU'VE GOT COMING IN.
[ KNOLL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]
IT'LL TIDE ME OVER.
WELL, DO YOU KNOW WHAT SECURITY
ON THAT WILL BE?
WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE HERE
TO GIVE ME A PRICE QUOTE.
YOU KNOW, THE THING I LOVE
ABOUT YOU, ELWOOD,
IS THAT IT DON'T TAKE YOU LONG
TO FIGURE OUT THE PLAY.
Knoll:
GET THE FUCK OUT.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
GET THE FUCK OUT!
YOU STUPID FUCK!
FUCK!
FUCK!
GET OUT, FUCK!
Man: CALM DOWN.
[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
[ GRUNTING ]
FUCK HIM. FUCK HIM.
STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.
DON'T YOU LEARN?
HUH?
DON'T YOU FUCKING LEARN?
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
YOU WANT TO TALK BUSINESS,
RIGHT?
SO LET'S TALK BUSINESS.
OKAY.
OKAY.
LET'S TALK BUSINESS.
YOU WANT A CUT.
A CUT?
WHAT THE FUCK
YOU TALKING ABOUT, A CUT?
I'M YOUR BRAND-NEW
FUCKING PARTNER.
I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE SAVED
MY LIFE BACK THERE.
THANKS.
I OWE YOU ONE.
YOU OKAY?
THEY HURT YOU AGAIN?
NO. I JUST KIND OF GO A SORE ELBOW.
LISTEN.
I NEED A FAVOR.
YEAH. ANYTHING.
ANYTHING, MAN. WHAT IS IT?
WELL, THE THING
ABOUT COOKING SMACK IS,
TO NOT GET FUCKED UP
BY THE FUMES,
YOU GOT TO HAVE
A FULL STOMACH.
COOK SMACK ON AN EMPTY STOMACH,
YOU'LL BE STONED AS ANY JUNKIE.
PROBLEM WE GOT NOW IS WE'RE
COOKING 10 TIMES MORE
THAN WE'VE EVER DONE BEFORE.
SO TO STAY AWAKE,
WE HAVE TO EAT A BURGER
LIKE EVERY 15 MINUTES.
SO FOR SIX HOURS, LIKE --
THAT'S 24 BURGERS.
THAT'S A LOT OF BURGERS.
YEAH. I KNOW.
THEY DON'T TEACH YOU
ABOUT THIS STUFF IN BASIC.
SO LOOK. I NEED YOU TO DO
THE SHOPPING FOR ME.
GO INTO THE COMMISSARY HERE
AND GET FOOD.
BURGERS, HOT DOGS --
ANYTHING WITH MEAT.
LOTS OF MEAT.
YEAH. OKAY.
NO PROBLEM.
CATCH MY DRIFT HERE, RIGHT?
SAAD DOESN'T EAT MEAT.
HE'S DECIDED TO HOLD BACK.
HE WON'T COME
UNTIL TONIGHT.
THERE'S NO WAY HE'S GOING TO
MOUNT AN ATTACK IN THE DAY.
I THINK
YOU MAY BE RIGHT, SIR.
I KNOW I'M RIGHT, ELWOOD.
HE WANTS TO WAI TILL WE'RE WORN DOWN.
USED UP ALL OUR SUPPLIES.
HAD A FEW FALSE ALERTS.
TWO TRUCKS COMING, SIR.
AHA. BREAKFAST.
WE GOT FRESH COFFEE,
DOUGHNUTS, HASH BROWNS,
EGGS, FLAPJACKS.
GARCIA,
LET'S GET IN THERE.
YES, SIR.
THESE TWO TRUCKS,
LET THEM THROUGH.
YES, SIR.
STOP.
WHY THE HELL
DID THEY GO OVER THERE?
[ MEN SHOUTING ]
[ GUNFIRE ]
[ ALARM BLARING ]
Man:
GET THE FUCK IN THERE -- NOW!
MOVE! MOVE!
DROP YOUR WEAPONS!
MOVE IT!
BANG.
YOU'RE DEAD.
YEAH!
YEAH!
COME ON! LET'S GO!
LET'S GO!
WAY TO RUN IT!
WAY TO RUN IT! WHOO!
NICE PLAY!
NICE PLAY!
HERE WE GO!
COME ON! COME ON!
LINE UP!
[ MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]
YOU OKAY, SIR?
ELWOOD, DID I EVER TELL YOU
I MET PRESIDENT KENNEDY?
NO.
HE DELIVERED THE GRADUATION
ADDRESS AT THE ACADEMY.
YOU CAN'T TELL I FROM HIS PICTURES,
BUT UP CLOSE,
IN PERSON, HE...
HE JUST HAD THIS CHARISMA.
I SHOOK THE PRESIDENT'S HAND.
I FELT HIS STRENGTH,
AND I THOUGHT...
"I CAN DO ANYTHING
I SET MY MIND TO."
DO YOU KNOW WHA GENERAL LANCASTER CALLED ME?
INCOMPETENT.
WILL HE INCLUDE THA IN YOUR EFFICIENCY REPORT, SIR?
[ Laughing ] OH, YEAH.
YES, I'M SURE HE WILL.
THE GENERAL HAS RELIEVED ME
OF MY COMMAND.
MARSHALL SAID HIS EXECUTIVE
OFFICER COULD TAKE OVER.
I'M REALLY SORRY, SIR.
YOU KNOW WHA I'M GOING TO DO, ELWOOD?
I'M GOING TO TAKE MY PENSION
AND BUY THAT VINEYARD.
I THINK THAT'S WHA I'M GOING TO DO.
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
SUCH A BAD IDEA, DOES IT?
MAKE SURE AND GIVE THE TURK
ALL MY LOVE.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
HEY, YOU FEEL BAD
ABOUT BERMAN?
OH, FUCK, NO.
YOU DON'T FEEL BAD
ABOUT TIPPING OFF MARSHALL?
I THOUGHT YOU LIKED BERMAN.
YEAH. WAY I SEE IT,
I DID HIM A FUCKING FAVOR.
BERMAN'S TOO NICE OF A GUY
FOR THE ARMY.
YEAH. LOOK, I KNOW I DID I TO SAVE MY OWN ASS.
BUT HE'S GOING TO MAKE
HIS FUCKING WINE.
WE'RE STUCK HERE,
UP TO OUR NECKS IN SHIT.
WHY THE DELAY?
COULDN'T FIND THE BASE?
YOU BOYS ARE LOOKING
KIND OF TENSE.
OH, WE'RE HAVING A BALL.
LET'S GET THIS STUFF INSIDE.
SO, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE
TO COOK THIS STUFF?
MOST OF THE NIGHT.
WHAT THE FUCK
IS HE DOING HERE?
HE'S WITH ME.
GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
WHOA, WHOA.
SAAD, DO ME A FAVOR
AND PUT THAT OUT -- NOW.
I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND.
THIS IS HIGHLY FLAMMABLE SHIT.
NOW, LISTEN UP.
WE COOK SIX HOURS.
AND WE HAVE TO KEEP I AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE
TO 85 DEGREES CENTIGRADE.
WHAT HAPPENS
IF IT GOES BELOW?
IF IT GOES BELOW 80,
THE REACTION STOPS,
WE'VE GOT TO COOK LONGER.
IF IT GOES ABOVE 90,
THE MORPHINE IS DESTROYED.
AND IF IT BOILS, WELL...
"WELL" WHAT?
LET'S JUST SAY COOKING
SMACK IS LIKE PREPARING
THANKSGIVING DINNER
WHERE ONE OF THE INGREDIENTS
IS A HAND GRENADE.
THIS SHIT EXPLODES?
KA-BOOM.
WELL, LOOK, YOU BETTER KNOW WHA THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING, THEN.
I JUST HOPE THE VENTILATORS
CAN HANDLE IT.
THIS IS WAY MORE THAN WE'VE
EVER DONE BEFORE, MAN.
YEAH, IF WE CHANGE THE
FILTER ELEMENT EVERY HOUR,
IT SHOULD BE OKAY.
YOU ON IT, GARCIA?
I'M ON IT, MAN.
SAAD, DO YOU WANT A HOT DOG?
NO, I DON'T WAN NO FUCKING HOT DOG.
YOU AIN'T GO NO VEGETARIAN SHIT?
HOT DOGS ARE MADE UP OF LIPS,
UDDERS, AND ASSHOLES.
I'M SURPRISED
YOU DON'T WANT ONE.
I'LL FUCK YOU UP,
MOTHERFUCKER.
WHOA. GUYS.
PLEASE JUST FUCKING CU THE SARCASM.
CAN WE JUST EAT OUR HOT DOGS
AND CHILL OUT?
NOT YOU, OF COURSE, SAAD.
[ LIGHTER OPENS ]
OKAY. SIX HOURS.
MARK IT NOW.
KNOLL.
I'M GONNA GO GET SOME REST.
I'LL BE BACK AT 0400.
I'M LEAVING YOU IN CHARGE.
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY?
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
YOU LEAVING?
WHERE YOU GOING?
WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?
JUST KICK BACK.
WATCH SOME TV.
EDUCATE YOURSELF.
YOU OWN THIS BASE, RIGHT?
Man on TV:
...ALL AFTERNOON.
IT IS CLEAR THAT THIS WILL BE
ONE OF BERLIN'S
MOST DRAMATIC DAYS.
ROBYN?
COME ON UP.
I DON'T THINK SO.
JUST GET UP HERE.
COME ON UP.
COME ON.
JUST A BIT FURTHER.
JESUS CHRIST.
THIS IS NOT FUN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
YOU SCARED?
OF COURSE I'M NOT SCARED.
I WON'T PUSH YOU.
YEAH, WELL,
I'D APPRECIATE THAT.
[ LAUGHS ]
COME ON. COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON.
COME OUT TO THE EDGE.
[ Laughing ]
TAKE ANOTHER STEP.
TAKE ANOTHER TWO STEPS.
JUST A LITTLE BIT FURTHER.
COME ON.
SIT DOWN.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
[ LAUGHS ]
WHAT WOULD IT TAKE
TO MAKE YOU JUMP?
A PARACHUTE.
OH, FUCK.
THAT'S REALLY HIGH.
MAYBE YOU GET USED TO I AFTER A WHILE.
I THINK THE POINT IS
NOT TO GET USED TO IT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHY ARE YOU PUTTING
YOUR ARMS UP LIKE THAT?
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
ROBYN.
OH.
FUCK IT.
ROBYN.
[ GASPS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
Man on TV:
...BRUSSELS CHANGED ALL THAT.
A RELIEVED CHANCELLOR KOHL
COULD NOW OFFER HIS ELECTORATE
WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN DEMANDING,
WHILE THE PRESIDENT SEEMED
HAPPY TO CELEBRATE...
[ KOHL SPEAKING GERMAN ]
Translator: MR. PRESIDENT,
WE'RE GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
[ SPEAKING GERMAN ]
YOU ARE A FRIEND
AMONG FRIENDS.
WHY YOU MOTHERFUCKERS EA SO DAMN MUCH?
'CAUSE WE'RE GROWING LADS.
WE NEED TO KEEP
OUR STRENGTH UP.
[ GRUNTS ]
I DON'T FEEL TOO GOOD.
Video: MM-HMM.
LET ME GE ONE OF THOSE BURGERS.
NO FUCKING WAY, SAAD.
THIS SHIT'S LIKE POISON
FOR YOUR BODY.
WOULDN'T WANT YOU BLOCKING UP
YOUR ARTERIES.
FUCK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT.
FUCK YOU.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
KNOLL.
SHIT.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
IT'S...MIDNIGHT.
FUCK.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHERE YOU GOING?
FUCK.
I GOT TO GO.
CAN I COME?
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
Knoll:
THEY'RE IN THERE.
OH, FUCK.
Robyn:
LEAVE HIM ALONE!
STOP IT!
SIR, COULD I ASK YOU TO PLEASE
TAKE HER OUT OF HERE?
"S-SIR"?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "SIR"?
[ GASPS ]
LET ME GO!
[ GRUNTS ]
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
SECOND LIEUTENAN BRIAN KNOLL...
VOLUNTEERED TO GO UNDERCOVER.
PFC KNOLL.
OUR OFFICER IN THE HOLE.
[ Straining ]
DON'T KICK ME.
Man on TV:
FROM THE MOMENT THE FIRST WAVE
OF EAST GERMANS
CROSSED INTO BERLIN
IN THE EARLY HOURS
OF THIS MORNING...
Video: WHERE IS
THE BERLIN WALL, ANYWAY?
Rothfuss:
IT'S IN BERLIN, YOU DUMB FUCK.
YEAH, I KNOW IT'S IN BERLIN.
WHAT COUNTRY IS IT IN?
IT'S IN GERMANY, MAN.
FUCKING...GERMANY.
WEST GERMANY.
WEST GERMANY?
WELL, WHICH ONE
ARE WE IN, THEN?
ARE WE IN WEST GERMANY,
OR ARE WE IN EAST GERMANY?
WE'RE IN EAST.
WE'RE IN WEST GERMANY,
YOU IDIOT.
Squash:
WELL, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
FUCK IF I KNOW, MAN.
[ MEN SHOUTING ]
GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS
IN THE AIR!
YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST!
NOW!
PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS
IN THE AIR!
GET 'EM UP!
I'M WARNING YOU!
DROP THAT WEAPON.
OH, YOU PUT YOUR SHIT DOWN,
MOTHERFUCKER.
PUT IT DOWN!
IT'S MY MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE.
DROP THE FUCKING WEAPON.
NO. FUCK THAT.
DON'T MAKE ANOTHER MOVE!
NO. YOU PUT YOUR SHIT DOWN.
FUCK YOU!
Man on TV:
COME ON! COME ON!
Sgt. Lee:
IT'S OVER.
IT'S ALL OVER.
[ Weakly ]
WHAT'D YOU DO WITH ROBYN?
DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT HER.
SHE'S GOT NOTHING TO DO
WITH YOU ANYMORE.
[ GRUNTS ]
LET ME GO, YOU FUCK!
KIMBOROUGH, YOU READ ME?
[ GUNFIRE CONTINUES ]
Hey, Kimborough, I'm in.
UH, WE GOT SOME RESISTANCE,
BUT NOTHING WE CAN'T HANDLE.
SO YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING I TO MY DAUGHTER,
AND YOU THINK
THAT'S MAKING WAR?
WAR, YOU DUMB FUCK,
IS PLAYING FOR KEEPS.
SOMEBODY AS STUPID AS YOU,
ELWOOD, DESERVES TO GO DOWN.
WITHOUT YOUR MUSCLE,
YOU TURN TO SHIT.
NO BACKUP. TOO EASY.
WHAT?
WHO DO YOU THINK
TOOK OUT STONEY?
YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID.
HE'S GONNA KILL HIM.
[ IGNITION BUZZES ]
CAN YOU --
CAN YOU WAIT ONE SECOND?
LISTEN TO ME. HE'S --
MY DAD IS GOING TO KILL HIM.
HE'S REALLY GOING TO DO
SOMETHING BAD.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
WHERE'S HE TAKING HIM?
WHAT'S HE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?
HE'S TAKING HIM
TO THE STOCKADE.
HE'S NOT TAKING HIM
TO THE STOCKADE.
THE STOCKADE'S THE OTHER WAY.
CAN YOU PLEASE JUST GO AND SEE
WHERE HE'S TAKING HIM?
[ ENGINE REVS, TIRES SCREECH ]
[ GUNFIRE IN DISTANCE ]
[ ALARM BLARES ]
YOU WANT TO HEAR THE SECRE OF VIETNAM?
THE SECRET OF VIETNAM
IS SIMPLE.
I LOVED IT.
WHOLE DAMN THING WAS NOTHING
BUT FUN.
I'M JUST BEING HONEST.
I FUCKING WELL LOVED IT.
EVERYONE ELSE WOULD, TOO,
IF WE'D HAVE WON IT.
AND I DID ALL SORTS OF SHIT.
EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN DOING
HERE AND MORE.
LOTS MORE.
Man on TV:
...A NEW ERA --
[ GRUNTS ]
LET GO! LET GO!
LET GO!
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
HOLD IT, SERGEANT.
GET AWAY FROM THE WINDOW.
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE, SIR?
GET AWAY FROM THE WINDOW,
OR I WILL SHOOT YOU, SERGEANT.
YOU'RE GONNA SHOOT ME?
YOU GOT THE BALLS TO DO
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
[ RUMBLING ]
THE BOILING POINT.
Elwood:
"WHEN THERE IS PEACE,
THE WARLIKE MAN ATTACKS
HIMSELF."
THAT'S NIETZSCHE.
AND HIS POINT IS THAT THERE
REALLY IS NO PEACE.
THERE'S ALWAYS SOME WAR
SOMEWHERE WITH SOMEONE.
AND THERE ARE NO WINNERS
OR LOSERS, EITHER.
JUST THOSE THAT ARE
STILL AROUND
TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY.
Woman: 23 U.S. SERVICEMEN
WERE KILLED LAST NIGH WHEN A HUGE EXPLOSION ROCKED
THE DISPENSARY BUILDING
OF THE THEODORE ROOSEVEL ARMY BASE IN WEST GERMANY.
ARMY SPOKESMEN HAVE BLAMED
THE BLAST ON A GAS LEAK,
ALTHOUGH PENTAGON SOURCES HAVE
NOT RULED OUT THE POSSIBILITY
OF A TERRORIST BOMB.
A MIRACULOUS SURVIVOR
OF THE BLAST,
PRIVATE RAYMOND ELWOOD,
IS IN CRITICAL CONDITION
AFTER BEING BLOWN FROM THE
FIFTH FLOOR OF THE BUILDING.
PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH HAS SEN THE HOPES AND WISHES
OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
TO PRIVATE ELWOOD
AND ALL THE OTHER INJURED
FOR A SPEEDY RECOVERY.
Col. Armstrong:
A PURPLE HEART AND, UM...
NO. WHAT IS IT?
DEFENSE SUPERIOR SERVICE
MEDAL, SIR.
GAS EXPLOSION.
WELL, THAT'S WHAT I READ
IN THE "STARS AND STRIPES."
THEY THINK IT WAS
A GAS EXPLOSION?
YES, SIR.
THAT'S WHAT THEY THINK.
AND THIS, UH, ROBERT LEE,
THE SERGEANT WHO GO THE POSTHUMOUS SILVER STAR,
YOU KNEW HIM WELL, DID YOU?
YES, SIR.
HIS DAUGHTER'S MY SWEETHEART.
IS THAT RIGHT?
I DIDN'T -- I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
HOW'S SHE DOING?
SHE'S DOING OKAY, SIR.
SHE'S AT COLLEGE
STUDYING POLITICS.
POLITICAL SCIENCE,
TO BE EXACT.
SHE'S GOT HER SEMESTER BREAK
NEXT MONTH,
AND SHE'S GOING TO FLY
OVER HERE TO SEE ME.
WELL, I LOOK FORWARD
TO MEETING HER.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE OKAY STANDING?
IF THE LEG STARTS GETTING WEARY,
YOU JUST COP A SQUAT ANYTIME.
OH, I'LL BE FINE.
THANKS, SIR.
OKAY.
IT REALLY IS HEALING
QUITE NICELY.
I THINK THE TROPICAL AIR
IS DOING IT SOME GOOD.
SO YOU LIKE IT HERE
IN HAWAII?
YEAH.
I'M SETTLING IN.
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S GOOD.
NOW, LET'S SEE.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?
OH, JUST SOME
REQUISITIONS, SIR.
1,000 GALLONS OF MOP AND GLO.
REALLY NEED THAT MUCH?
WELL, CLEANLINESS IS
NEXT TO GODLINESS.
WELL, THAT'S
WHAT I ALWAYS SAY, SIR.
[ DE LA SOUL'S "HELD DOWN"
PLAYS ]
THIS IS DEDICATED
TO ALL MY FOLKS
DIAGNOSED WITH A BAD CASE
OF THAT PROPER UPBRINGIN'
AND NEVER TOOK THE TIME
TO FALL IN LINE OR FOLLOW
OR SWALLOW THE THOUGHTS
OF THE RECOGNIZED COMMITTEES
WHO LURK THROUGHOUT YOUR
CITY, YOUR HOOD, YOUR TOWN
NO MATTER WHICH TYPE,
YOU'RE FROM THE SAME TYPE
OF PEOPLE TRY TO
HOLD YOU DOWN
JUST BECAUSE
YOU'RE TAILOR-MADE
FOR BIGGER
AND BETTER THINGS
NEVER MISSED A CHANCE
TO MOVE AHEAD OF THINGS
AND WHAT DOES IT BRING?
I TELL YOU FOR ME IT BROUGH JEALOUSY AND BACK WOUNDS
FROM ALL THE STABBIN'
CATS POSING AS MY FAM JUST TO
GET TO GRABBIN' WHAT'S MINE
I'M LIVING IN TIMES
WHERE MY DAUGHTERS ARE FOUND
AROUND KIDS WHO CAN'T AFFORD
THINKING CAPS
BUT ALWAYS FOUND DRINKING
RAPS AND EATIN' ON BEATS
CLAIMING LAWS OF THE STREETS,
BUT WHO MADE THE LAWS?
EVERYBODY PLAYIN' REBEL
WITH NO SIGN OF A CAUSE
WELL, I FEEL THE WORLD
AROUND ME
I'VE FOUND THAT OTHERS
WILL BRING YOU DOWN
JUST TO BE DOWN
YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE UP
YOUR MIND
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE
WHERE YOU WANT TO GO
WITH YOUR LIFE
WITH YOUR LIFE
I'M NEVER SINGIN' THE BLUES
BUT FINDIN' THE CLUES
TO MAINTAIN
AND I'VE BEEN BLESSED
TO REIGN SUPREME
OVER NEARLY EVERY DREAM
I HAD
AND I'VE MADE IT COME TRUE
I'M AN IMPERFECT MAN
AND I'M HOLDING THE CLUE
TO PERFECTION
IT DOESN'T SEEM TO MATTER
WHAT DIRECTION I LOOK
I FIND PEOPLE SETTING TRAPS
TRYING TO FIND THE GOLD
WITHOUT HAVIN' ANY MAPS
EVEN FRIENDS OF MINE
JUMPED ON LINE
JUST TO BECOME MY ADVERSARY
THEY FELT THEY WERE ENTITLED
TO THE DAIRY I'VE MADE
THEY DON'T COME TO CHILL
OR BEHAVE
AND THEY GOT TOAS READY TO BURN
NOT LEARNING TO LIVE
BUT THEY'RE YEARNING TO TAKE
WHAT YOU EARN
WELL, I FEEL THE WORLD
AROUND ME
I'VE FOUND THAT OTHERS
WILL BRING YOU DOWN
JUST TO BE DOWN
YOU SEE, YOU'VE GOT TO
MAKE UP YOUR MIND
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE
AND WHERE YOU WANT TO GO
WITH YOUR LIFE
WITH YOUR LIFE
SO QUICK TO PLACE BLAME
AND DENY THE SHAME
WE BRING UPON OURSELVES
SO MANY NAMES HELD
ACCOUNTABLE
FOR MY OWN ACCOUNTS
WHEN A LARGE AMOUN WAS WEIGHT
THAT I MADE AND SHAPED
WHEN I CLIMBED, I FOUND
IT WAS HARD TO FIND OTHERS
AROUND TO POINT MY FINGERS AT
WHICH MADE ME REALIZE
THE TRUTH
THE BIGGEST OPPRESSOR CAN BE
YOUR OWN EGO
LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE
TO PLANT ROOTS
IN A FIELD OF SELF-SORROW
TO SPROUT AND FOLLOW
THE FIRST THING YOU FEEL
NOURISHES YOUR HUNGER
TO BE RESPECTED
IT GETS HECTIC
AND WHEN I'M WATCHING
THE NEWS
AND MY DAUGHTER WALKS IN
AND CHOOSE TO ASK,
"WHY WERE ALL THOSE PEOPLE
ON THE FLOOR SLEEPING,
COVERED IN RED?"
I TOLD HER THAT THEY WERE
LOOKING FOR GOD
BUT FOUND RELIGION INSTEAD
WELL, I FEEL THE WORLD
AROUND ME
I'VE FOUND THAT OTHERS
WILL BRING YOU DOWN
JUST TO BE DOWN
YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE UP
YOUR MIND
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE
AND WHERE YOU WANT TO GO
WITH YOUR LIFE
WITH YOUR LIFE
[ CHOIR HARMONIZING ]
OH, YEAH
WELL, I FEEL THE WORLD
AROUND ME
I'VE FOUND THAT OTHERS
WILL BRING YOU DOWN
JUST TO BE DOWN
YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE UP
YOUR MIND
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE
AND WHERE YOU WANT TO GO
WITH YOUR LIFE
WITH YOUR LIFE,
WITH YOUR LIFE
[ MUSIC SLOWS, ENDS ]