Buffet Infinity (2025) Movie Script
1
Injured in an accident through
no fault of your own?
You may be entitled to
financial compensation.
We don't always see
what's coming in life,
and sometimes the worst happens.
Whether it be a simple slip
on the driveway,
medical malpractice that leaves
part of your body
mangled and deformed.
If you're in pain, call me,
Mosley Rosin.
I know pain.
We are confident
you'll discover
the difference for yourself.
Unmatched quality.
Faster than an
eight-cylinder engine.
More powerful than
800 horsepower.
It's Captain Savings at your
service at Westridge Automotive.
Hey, that vehicle's overpriced.
I've had enough of you,
Professor High Price.
-Ow, ow, hey!
The more you
compare, the more
you'll appreciate
Westridge Automotive
-Group today.
How can we compete
with that
-kind of integrity?
-Shut up.
...smooth off
of Augustus Drive.
Expect delays near
Ridgewood East.
A fender bender is holding up
traffic all the way up to
Beltline,
if you're traveling south,
and up to
Ridgewood Valley Road.
And it appears some folks
in our city's north side
got a bit of a rude awakening
during the early hours
in the morning when
several residences
were quoted, "Very sleep--"
...old uncomfortable mattress
and have a good night today.
And get up to 50% of the value
of your previous mattress
to go towards
your new purchase.
Mattress Mattress Surplus.
Where good dreams
are guaranteed.
People always ask me, "Jenny,
what makes the perfect sandwich?"
Probably fresh bread made
daily.
With the best vegetables
cut up just right.
With your choice of chicken,
bacon, or ham.
I choose ham.
Oh, but I add one more thing.
She's got the sauce!
She's got the sauce!
The exact
right amount of pressure.
And the exact right environment
to create something
so unique. Something--
...reported to be only a
mild ground disruption.
A WCC official is now testing
the ground soil around the
Crossroads Shopping Complex.
Where patrons
were shocked to find--
In an ever-expanding
universe of flavor,
do you ever feel
like you've seen it all?
Welcome to Buffet Infinity.
We're talking pizza,
burgers, and...
And more.
Opening soon.
At the
Crossroads Shopping Complex.
With a beautifully
designed interior and exterior.
Please park around front
of the building.
Yum yum, beef tacos.
You'll be asking for
seconds, thirds...
And more.
...and more.
Right next to the Pet n' Play
and Brooks Electronics.
Plenty of parking around
the front of the building.
You are gonna love the--
...is putting on a brave face.
Hiding everything
going on inside?
Anxiety and depression?
Stubborn thoughts
of inadequacy?
Feeling like your goals are so
far out of reach,
you turn to unhealthy
decision-making?
Find the better you, inside.
Talk to your doctor about new--
...the most modern stereos,
electronics, and appliances.
Great deals every day.
Locally owned and operative.
Brooks.
The future is where--
Warning residents
to not throw trash
or other items
into the sinkhole.
And that it will result
in a fine by the city.
And could potentially result in
further erosion
to what they
call a very vulnerable a--
...place for your dog to go
when you're on the go?
Try Pet n' Play.
A dog-sitting service that
loves your dogs
almost as much as--
I'm thinking about
whether my famous
beef stroganoff
will still be warm by
the time I make it to
the potluck.
What I'm not thinking about
is road conditions.
Oncoming traffic.
And certainly not my
car insurance payments.
Something like this could really
affect my premiums.
Good thing I got Steve Babbacock
and I secured my monthly
payments for a year.
The hardest thing
I'm going to have to do
is explain this to my h--
Get the lowest prices
guaranteed.
Buy USFA T-bone steak
for 2.88 per kilograms.
That's 56 cents
cheaper than our--
Jenny's signature
sandwich sauce that is.
But what makes it so tasty?
Shh. Family secret.
When people ask me what makes
the perfect sandwich,
I have to say, "I don't know."
Because it's not about
finding perfection.
It's about finding something
that you love.
And hoping that other people
like it too.
'Cause at Je--
...five people prefer fat-free
margarine options
in a taste test with
traditional butter,
it doesn't take a genius
to recognize--
...over one million dollars.
Only three more days to pick up
your tickets
for our fabulous cash prize,
or--
Come on down to Ahmed's Pawn
You know that it's iconic
If you like instruments
Or used electronics
All the inventory here
Is of the highest class
Come to Ahmed's Pawn
Or kiss my-- Shhh
Uh oh, she said no
Now I'm selling
My wedding ring
Here's some money, brother
Sure to make you sing
Even though she didn't
Return your affection
Come to Ahmed's Pawnshop
I don't ask
Mystery in your life?
Okay...
How about all the above without
ever leaving your bedroom?
Oh, the Westridge Bookfair
-is coming to the Ridgewood
Community Center.
It's only a few
short weeks away.
Amazing new and used copies
available
of the greatest works
of literature
by all the most legendary minds
in the history of the--
Magic?
Maybe.
An illusion? You decide.
Come have a little bit of
everything at Buffet Infinity,
where we guarantee to have
what you're looking for.
Whether it be fresh salads,
homemade pizza,
the best hot and crispy chicken
this side of Texas,
with plenty of parking around
the front of the building.
It's a new and nicely decorated
all-you-can-eat restaurant.
You're not going to
believe the prices.
And great parking up front.
Try our coconut shrimp,
assorted veggies,
our legendary Jamaican jerk
mahi-mahi.
It's like nothing that
you've tasted before.
-Unlike our neighbors, the sinkhole--
The ground disruption.
...will not be affecting our
business hours.
So come enjoy our hibachi bar,
assorted Chinese options.
With endless possibilities,
and a menu that's growing every day.
Growing every day.
Just off Highway 1,
Buffet Infinity.
Always looking for ways
to serve you better.
You're gonna love the food.
Having a young family
can really be a handful.
After my road accident,
keeping up with the kids all day
can really wear me out.
Certainly wears out my finances.
From lunches, to toys,
-to making stroganoff, to--
-Mom!
To whatever else
might come up.
Under family liability home
insurance with Steve Babbacock,
I know I'm covered.
Are you prepared for
what's coming?
Seafood,
chicken, dessert options,
Chinese, and pizza. Oh, my!
With a fun new twist, you're
going to have to see to b--
I'm an a-hole? Why?
Because I want what's
best for my clients?
Well, I'm afraid you messed
with the wrong a-hole.
I want double our asking price.
If you've been hurt through
no fault of your own,
and left with
permanent injuries,
you deserve to be compensated.
Many years ago, I was born with
a small physical deviation.
Nothing serious, but
because it was incorrectly
treated by doctors,
it led to extreme discomfort,
pain,
and difficulty making friends.
Eventually, I put myself
through law school,
and sued those doctors, and now
I have my own law firm.
I'm the tough, smart lawyer
with my own personal history
with trauma.
No tipping!
Grab a plate, load up,
eat and leave without
seeing a single member--
For such a variety of food at
such an amazing price,
it's hard not
to feel sorry for the--
When people ask me what makes
for a great night on the town,
I say, "I don't know."
Sometimes it's having
that human touch.
Sometimes it's the atmosphere.
Or being open to midnight
every weekday.
Having delicious, classic
sandwich options.
And now with fresh mozzarella,
salami, and zingy prosciutto.
While not going overboard with way
too many different options. We're--
And fresh Italiano bread.
Maybe it's a delicious signature
sandwich sauce recipe
that's straight from Italy.
Give her the love she deserves
at Jenny's Sandwich Shop.
Now open till midnight.
Born on the
dying planet of Saveon,
Captain Savings is born
with superhero sense
of justice and fair pricing.
Uh-oh, sounds like trouble.
When Captain
Savings sees his arch-nemesis
Professor High Price
handing out
high-interest monthly loans
to innocent citizens,
the captain must--
You'll be able
to pay back any time.
Who knows?
Maybe even your life... time.
Soon, all will know
my suffering.
-Uh-oh.
Oh, no, my dignity!
Crap, crap, crap, crap.
Crap!
If there's one thing I hate,
it's dishonest,
-unfair,
-Ow! Ow!
-high-pressure sales tactics.
-Ow! My face!
For super deals
at super low prices.
...skills to the next level,
a premium cookware is here to help.
Hey you, trouble recognizing
the man in the mirror?
Because of body image issues
and stubborn thoughts
of inadequacy?
The better you, inside,
feels helpless when
he sees you making
unhealthy choices
that are only
gonna make things harder.
He's in there somewhere,
and he's waiting.
Talk to your doctor about n--
...one sees
the dog, to please
contact the family immediately
and do not try and approach
the miniature chihuahua
without its eye drops every
five hours, it's legally--
...and unmatched
prices are our specialty.
You'll discover
the difference for
-yourself when you step in--
...right place for a night
on the town?
Come see the stars in her eyes,
as well as in her various
other reassuring
reflective surfaces.
At Buffet Infinity, you are
someone special to someone.
You'll feel even
more special to them
when you come try out our
new special Italian cuisine,
including meatballs,
spaghetti with meatballs,
Italian coffee cappuccino,
risotto, blue cheese linguine
with mozzarella,
not to mention our
endless wine selection
with fresh bread made daily,
just like they do in the
old country of Italy.
We focus on a lot because
we deliver a lot,
a lot more than just a single
type of sandwich sauce.
Deliver a lot of
intimate setting
and delicious food for
your partner to eat, drink,
giving them energy for
intimacy later.
Come and enjoy
our intimate fine silverware,
polished metal plates,
brass doorknobs,
reflective enough that you'll
be able to see yourself
and say,
"Hey... hey, that's me.
And I'm with the person
that I love the most
-in the whole world."
Now open till 1 a.m.
on the weekend.
Two doors down
from Jenny's Sa--
...miniature chihuahua
with a reputation of being
curious and charming.
But unknown to the staff
of the Pet n' Play,
she was also looking to go
on her own adventure.
I didn't understand how she
could get out of the building...
When Stephenie Dubeki left her
furry friend Shiva
at the local
pet sitting facility,
she had no idea it would
lead to a story
of perseverance,
faith, and the--
People are always
asking me, "What's your goal?"
Our goal is to make great
sandwiches that we believe in.
-When you have real ingredients
made by real people,
it doesn't matter what gimmicks
the other guys try and pull.
Oh, and did I mention?
She's got the sauce.
She's got the sauce.
-She's got the sauce.
-She's got the sauce.
Also, we're the only restaurant
that offers the Avery family
secret sauce.
Dating back nearly
a hundred years
to my grandmother in Italy.
And if it's
good enough for her...
It's good enough for me.
It just goes to show, when you
make the right choice,
-you don't
need endless options.
Though, this Canada Day,
we will be including
something extra special.
Introducing, banana loaf.
...money-saving
tip is to program
your thermostat
to recommended set--
Receive 50% off with purchase
of this and any other edition
of the Serpent and the Starship
series
by a certain author, sensei,
religious scholar,
and recording artist.
Come by this Wednesday
where the man himself
-will be doing a
live meet and greet.
Free admission will be
given to contestants
-in Westridge Bookfair's
Funniest Foot Contest.
And there's
still time to enter.
Send in a picture
of you and your toes
in the funniest
position you can imagine.
Whether they are wiggling or--
I never really
gave up hope on her.
This is
just one instance
of missing pets that
include five dogs,
three hamsters,
and seven birds.
The owners of the Pet n' Play
assure WP8i
that the sinkhole
in the back parking lot
-of the business was not--
Sounds like something's cooking
in the Buffet Infinity oven
this Canada Day.
What better way to celebrate
this Canada Day
than with a
Canadian classic.
True patriot pancakes.
In all our salmon's command.
Donuts! Perfect for
any growing Canadian.
Okay, now what's that sound?
-Is that a Montreal
crpe station?
Yes, it is. But it's also
the sound of our expansion
of the recently
foreclosed
Pet n' Play next door.
See how sounds
can be deceiving?
Double-double down
on our BC oysters.
Fresh as the sounds of newly
installed plumbing
that could easily be confused
-with something it's not.
That's crazy. As crazy as
believing the noises caused
by our new renovations
are something they're not.
Mmm, yum! Hey, where are those
birds going?
I don't know.
Maybe stop worrying about
where birds are going and start
celebrating where
you're from...
...with discounts
on locally themed
dishes like
the Yukon cheesecake.
East Coast style calamari.
Hope you love Kraft Dinner.
And introducing
our fresh new taste.
Our brand-new top-secret
sandwich sauce.
As delicious as any sandwich
sauce in the area.
With the sinkhole off Highway 1
no longer expanding,
there's no better time
to come by.
Enjoy our new sandwich sauce.
Park around front and explore.
And who cares what birds think?
-Except you, little guy.
Now, what's that sound?
Ah, we know!
One door down from
Jenny's Sandwich Shop.
You may have heard a buzz over
the past few weeks
about strange sounds going on
in the atmosphere.
Residents north of Highway 1
began calling in firsthand
accounts
early Monday
with reports of hearing a--
...sounds of you betraying
the better self
you keep locked inside.
Sometimes you can keep that
voice down to a little whisper.
-And other times it is very...
...very, very loud.
But it's always present.
And it always wins.
Time for a better you to fight
back and take charge.
-Now available--
Upscale jewelry
Ready to entice
Pre-owned watches
At rock-bottom price
CD, DVD
A book if you wanna laugh
Not sure what you want
Check our
Knowledgeable staff
What's that
Strange buzzing?
Feels irrational
Come check out our earplugs
Heavy duty or casual
Without these, I wouldn't
Get through the night
Without these, I wouldn't
get through the night.
What?
Yeah, me neither.
Safe and reliable
car for your family?
Don't worry,
we have you co--
For a toasty, tasty treat
that'll warm you up inside out--
You gotta
hit back at the plaque.
And keep those gums
fresh, fit, and ready to--
...been to Jenny's
Sandwich Shop recently...
...hold on to your hat.
-That's big!
-That's crazy!
Time to check out our
new big and crazy sandwich.
Still got your favorite
veggies,
only double stuffed
with extra bread.
With your choice of chicken,
bacon, or ham.
Oh, man, I'm so full.
Sounds like another
satisfied customer.
The only sound you're
gonna hear coming
from Jenny's Sandwich Shop.
While it might be big and
crazy, we still top it
-with the often imitated,
never replicated
Avery family secret sauce.
She's still got the sauce.
You're as crazy
as this sandwich
if you think you
can top my grandma's secret
100-year-old
Avery family recipe.
-It's made fresh every day
and perfected--
But what lies
beyond perfection?
Beyond flavor?
Beyond imagination?
Sanity and control.
The new...
Beyond Comprehension Burger.
All great journeys
start with a single step.
This one starts with the
fresh-baked sesame seed bun.
Slice.
We bring in the mayo.
Mayo!
Buffet Infinity's new
signature sandwich sauce.
So delicious you'll
wonder if it's even
our own creation.
It legally is.
Crinkle-cut pickles.
Aligned just right.
Diced onions.
Oops, let's not spill.
100% Angus beef patty.
Fried up on our
new flameless grill.
Don't forget one slice
of smoked cheddar.
The density has already
become noticeable.
-How many jalapeos?
That's how many-- Lettuce!
Don't let it fall.
All right, you got it. Wow!
That's one pretty big burger
that's 100% ready to eat.
But hold up one second.
One more Angus beef patty.
This time with Swiss.
But you know what that needs?
Another generous helping of our
signature sandwich sauce.
Really tasty but not enough to
base your whole personality on it.
That'd be pathetic
and embarrassing.
Top with the bun
and it's almost done.
Almost.
Almost.
Right after we take a trip to
Bacon Town.
One strip. Two strip.
Three strips.
Balance that out with
a little bit of spinach.
A nice amount of ringed onions.
Just get them all on there.
And one more Angus beef patty.
Topped with smoked Tavarti.
Now, that's a whole lot of--
...before.
Save 25 to 40%
on women's
sportswear throughout our s--
...sauteed portobello
mushrooms.
And an over-easy egg.
Another over-easy egg.
One more Angus beef burger
with mozzarella.
Layer delicately and carefully
above the other
products in our burger.
Easy does it. Don't forget
another layer
of that sweet,
sweet sandwich sauce.
Very, very similar to other
sauces in our area.
But all it is is Dijon mustard,
mayo, a few spices,
salt, Worcestershire sauce,
a little
ketchup and cayenne pepper.
Wow! That doesn't
even sound Italian.
And now here
comes the bun and--
No! More crinkle-cut pickles.
Okay, and we're adding shrimp?
All right. All right.
And sprouts?
Okay, and rigato--
Tired of one mattress brand telling
you one thing
and another one telling you
something else?
One has a high price
with great arch support.
-The other has a low price, but
without the arch support in--
...know you could use this breaded chicken
breast as a mattress. It's that big.
-What are we gonna top it with?
I wouldn't be embarrassed
to add a little bit
more sandwich sauce.
The same way a lot of
people aren't embarrassed
to make accusations against
other businesses
when they themselves
pretend to be Italian
when they have a very
obviously Scottish last name.
...at 50% interest on their next
vehicle purchase.
-Soon, all will know my-- Ah!
Oh, no, not again.
50% interest?
-Even for you, that's a new low.
-Oh, crap.
Oh, my God. Ow.
Come to Westridge Auto where you
can enjoy employee pricing plus.
Employee pricing plus?
What's that mean?
It means...
...on your new vehicle.
Guaranteed.
Ah! Can you not hear that
horrible never-ending noise?
The only thing I can hear is the
great prices
on select all-wheel
drive vehicles
and hatchbacks in our lot.
It's called front and back
speakers to block out anything
that may or may not be in
everybody's head.
It's Captain Savings at
your service. At West--
Well, Captain, these fresh Italian
deli slices aren't in your--
Actually Italian, not Ukrainian
and Scottish playing pretend.
That's why we always add
tons of tuna rolls.
Let's top it all off with a
half ounce of calamari.
Oh, we need something
to offset the flavor and I...
Oh, we could use that
stupid fucking
bullshit sauce
that's mostly ketchup.
Come and you can see
the realm of freshness.
An entire galaxy of flavor.
Squeezed into every single
bite of towering...
Science, insanity and control.
And a bowl of our signature
sandwich sauce for dipping.
Match the colors
or match the shapes and...
We have produce.
Bread.
We have meat.
We have treats for the kids.
We even have--
Recently lost a loved one?
Can you feel them trying to
communicate with you?
Reaching out this very moment?
Or have they slipped into the
in-between worlds
where a thousand
lifetimes can be lived
in the blink of an eye?
Help your loved ones escape that lonely,
endless darkness of the neither-verse.
Explore the Crypto-Numerology
Institute of Spiritual
Learning today.
And educate yourself on other
amazing new findings
in this man-made limitation we
call mortality.
They're waiting.
...for city's
recent seismic activity.
Updates to the electrical grid.
Others believing that
metallic tooth fillings
catching radio signals might be
the cause to the ambient hum.
While others believe the noise
may be coming from--
Constantly being reminded
of your own inadequacy?
By being close to things you
want but never having them?
Causing you to turn back to old,
unhealthy decision-making?
Stop and take another look.
Closer.
Eye allergy relief that
-relieves eye allergies fast!
Try our new, all in one--
People often ask me,
"What is it that makes a
community strong?"
For me, it's the people.
Living and working in it.
For some, it's local business.
We're just offering
good food at good prices.
And knowing that when something sounds
too good to be true, it probably is.
And be aware of where that
sound is coming from.
She's got the sauce!
She's got the sauce!
She's got the sauce!
It's not about competition.
She's got the sauce!
-It's about doing what's right.
She's got the sauce!
The only secret we'd feel
comfortable hiding from you
is the recipe for our delicious
Avery family secret sauce.
And our real, authentic Italian
sandwich sauce recipe,
created by my real authentic
Italian grandmother,
-is and only ever will be
available here at
Jenny's Sandwich Shop.
And be careful what's out there.
Because if they're
selling hooey,
that's what it's gonna
taste like.
...community has gathered
to search for
local business owner,
Jennifer Avery.
Police not be--
...sauce and dedication to her
restaurant.
Patrons recall her not just
knowing
all of her regular's
names, but their birthdays--
Thick.
They look so natural.
Are you sure this
isn't some kind of--
Mm, stroganoff.
Could use salt.
And my mom could
have used a little
life insurance
before her passing,
since we ended up paying
out of pocket for a funeral.
Leaving our financial future
pretty bleak.
The ultimate
in rest. The ultimate in rest.
Relaxation, and--
Beyond death,
all I can see is...
...frauds making false claims
about the afterlife.
And taking advantage
of people in our community.
After the diagnosis of
my physical deviation,
both my parents were
deeply troubled.
So much so that they turned
to a pseudo-religious group.
This led me to
emancipating myself
from my parents
at only 14 years old.
I don't know much about
alternate dimensions,
but I do know in this one,
we have laws against deceptive
marketing tactics.
Prevent these groups from
taking
advantage of members
of our community.
-Especially the elderly.
I'm Mosley Rosin.
And I'd say,
"Stick with one of
the four major religions."
...outrageous fee for a simple
credit card and a simple debit card.
Why not put all of those
payments all together onto one--
...7:05 Thursday evening.
Please contact the
WPD immediately.
And now in City Council news,
a legal A injunction
has been filed against
four private
spiritual organizations
in our community.
Specifically those targeting
the elderly that--
Mysterious
adverts to imply the viewer
is being recruited for some
form of psychic--
Breakfast...
filled with protein
and electrolytes
to start your
morning right.
It'll have your kids saying--
Strange
occurrences happen every day.
Buying a name-brand truck
with no money down
happens once in a lifetime.
No sign of Professor High Price.
I hope he learned his lesson.
Maybe I'll call it a day and go
home and have a nice
home-cooked meal with my family.
After mass, that is.
Seeing as I'm 100%
Roman Catholic.
Everyone knows that
Captain Savings principles
of fair pricing are unbeatable.
Wait, maybe that's it.
That's how Westridge Auto
will be destroyed
and everyone will know my s--
Instrumental
rock standards,
an easy listening on a
four-disc set. Songs like--
As the weeks went on,
so did the search
for Jennifer Joy Avery.
Theories surrounding her disappearance
began popping up with some--
What you're gonna do
with your old mattress,
and any other unpleasantries
out of your mind.
When you choose to focus on
factors outside your control,
there's not much
to feel comfy about.
Come, enjoy.
Someone suspicious hanging out
-where I shouldn't be.
-Well, that's okay.
You've already set off my alarms
and you're on camera,
on 11 different angles.
-Oh, no.
-15% off cameras and radios
Surveillance technology
To make sure no one goes
People going missing
Missing when they shouldn't
'Cause there's
People sneaking
Around your neighborhood
People go missing
Then they're hard to find
Sometimes I wish I'd go
Missing from time to time
Controversial
dining establishment
is clinging to life
after a firestorm
of accusations about
suppliers and funding.
And the one question that keeps coming
up when discussing the local business--
But also help save yourself.
Hypertension and a muffin top!
That's right, it's a healthy
living celebration
at Buffet Infinity.
The place everybody's
talking about.
Don't be scared to come try--
delicious fresh
vegetable salad station.
As well as our clearly labeled
exits to use at your
own discretion.
Fresh quinoa.
Endless sunflower seeds.
Real Italian vegan lasagna.
Though true Italian or not,
it's what's on the inside
that counts.
All-natural honey. Mm!
Milk and orange juice.
Olive oil on salad!
Made only with the
freshest of sources.
A good place for you
to get your news.
Outlandish stories in the media
are sometimes
planted to try and
criminalize success.
Freshly plucked carrots.
Raspberries, blueberries,
and blackberries? Oh, my!
And our one-of-a-kind signature
sandwich sauce
you literally can't
find anywhere else.
Fruit smoothies
prepared every day
by our staff of between
20 and 18 people.
Thank the flavor gods
for Buffet Infinity.
As we pray to our regular
Judeo-Christian God
for the safe return of troubled
Scottish and Ukrainian sandwich
shop owner, Jennifer Joy Avery.
Live healthier. Live happier.
And while living beyond death
isn't a realistic goal,
eating right could be
your first steps
to living without
the aid of substances.
A very common
contributing factor
to a lot of
missing-person cases.
Try our unshelled nuts.
Cashews, anyone?
And our delicious fresh
multigrain bread.
Freshly baked each day,
so there's nowhere for
the flavor to escape.
Unlike the building which has
one, two, three, four...
-and now five different exits
to use at your leisure.
After two separate third-party
investigations,
never has it been
a safer time to come by.
And with that time always moving
gradually forward at a steady pace.
On behalf of our company,
along with our partner
Constable Dillon of the
county sheriff's department--
And our love to
the Avery family.
At Buffet Infinity,
if it's not coming--
Hi, I'm attorney Mosley Rosin.
One of my favorite parts
of serving great clients
is the satisfaction
of knowing that
I'm also helping serve
our community.
With unfortunate
coincidences on the rise,
and biased parties
getting involved,
unfair allegations against
are in no short supply.
Whether they be attacking honest
second-hand vehicle retailers
or a local restaurant,
they're not just my clients,
they're my friends.
People have every
right to be suspicious,
upset, or even scared.
I'm scared all the time.
Just because one person
goes missing
doesn't mean that
everyone else has to lo--
...third day
she was absent from
BJ Mike's Bar and Grill,
her co-workers found her
apartment door still locked,
the windows still closed,
her car in the driveway,
and her television still--
Oh!
Thanks for the great home-cooked
meal, everyone.
This just in, Westridge Auto
are liars and frauds.
Their vehicles don't work.
Breaking news, car breaks down
as they're leaving the lot.
Also, a developing story
on how they...
Captain Savings listens to
the laundry list of lies
as he becomes an absolute
cyclone of rage.
Doesn't matter if I have no
evidence for my allegations,
when hearsay and rumors
are taken as truth...
I wouldn't wanna be
Professor High Price right now.
I love lying
and destroying local--
Some food for thought from
one of the Westridge Movers
and Shakers.
Highlighting the movers and
shakers in our community,
moving and shaking us
toward the future.
This week, a local giant
in both literature,
music, new ling--
linguistic spiritualism,
and fully certified podiatrist.
With a sneak preview of his
newest book
and long-awaited
return to fiction,
a terrifying tale of a deeply
misunderstood author
bankrupt by legal trouble,
silenced by a ghoulish
and deformed lawyer,
with a mind as twisted
and strange
as his genitals are
rumored to be--
Sticks and stones
may break your bolts...
...but slander and libel
are illegal.
Listen, we all have enemies.
Personally, I have a ton.
But I think we should all be
fighting back against bullying.
Many years ago, after some
children at my high school
found out some very personal
things about my medical history,
they engaged in coordinated
harassment.
Nicknames, offensive limericks.
While I was never able to successfully
sue any of my classmates,
I was filling up my
sports car the other day,
and who was pumping my gas?
One of my bullies.
Just goes to show you,
justice finds a way.
That's right.
And I want your
bullies to wind up
pumping your gas.
If your business is being
unfairly attacked,
you may be due--
...old things lifted up again.
The cycles would continue on
each time,
cleansing the liquid
of toxins and--
For only three
easy payments of 19.99,
enjoy the complete
collected works
of the Hershey Experiment.
Songs like...
Oh, I can't keep on living
But I'll never die
I'm gonna live forever
And Crypto-Numerology
-Is why
Well, I'm gonna
Leave my family
And I'm gonna leave my wife
I'm gonna finally stop
How can you
be sure that you're getting
the richest, strongest,
and most delicious--
...windows, no broken locks,
no stolen items,
and no signs of struggle.
Another local establishment
mourns as our city faces
another heartbreaking
disappearance.
Join us this Sunday for WP8i's
first-ever live interview
with an anonymous source that
believes he might know--
-Looking slick
-Thanks.
I'm jealous of all those
New threads, buddy
You could look
This slick at
Ahmed's Pawn
And save some money
So many different
Distinct styles
Your reaction
Shouldn't be knee-jerk
Winter jacket
Sweaters, hats, and
Men-styled Afghans.
So much new stuff
In our inventory
So many old clothes
Now, what is the story?
Ready to experience the ultimate
in luxury travel with our exclusiv--
There's a man we thank
And he's built like a tank
And he calls
The fortified mind
-The onward fortified mind
The energy transfer
But it never dies
-The onward fortified mind
The onward fortified mind
Oh, why do we
Imagine earning points on every
purchase of $20 or more.
Cardholders can use their
points and receive other amazing--
After a night on the town,
the kids are asleep,
the babysitter's been paid,
I've just taken a shower,
and Frank's in the tub.
And that's where he'll be
staying till the police arrive
due to my negligence.
You see, I left my hair dryer
on the side of the tub,
and in about 20 seconds, Frank
is gonna reach for the soap,
knocking the hair dryer in and
electrifying the water,
leaving me without a husband,
and my family
without any
-financial support.
With so many unpredictabilities
in our community,
be grateful you still have time
to consider a life insurance
policy with Steve Babbacock.
Unlike old Frank over here.
What would
you get if you squeezed
the refreshing flavor
of an orange
into a nice, plump, sweet--
And now, our
WP8i special presentation.
Your anonymity is secure.
Your voice will be changed for
the interview.
We will not be able to see
any facial features.
My first question is...
...are those who have
gone missing dead?
Sir?
-Can you hear me right now?
-Mm-hmm.
I just asked
if the people who have
-gone missing are dead.
-Yes, can you... call
an ambulance
and bring me a water, please?
-Yeah.
-Quickly, thank you.
Nice sandals.
If you're not feeling well, then
maybe we can start up again?
Don't have a lot of time left,
I would repeat your question.
Okay, sure.
I just asked if the people who
have gone missing are dead.
Death is a construct
that any consciousness...
...properly fortified
can withstand.
I'm sorry,
but I don't-- I don't follow.
Well, re-- regardless
of whether you follow me,
right now, it is
harvesting your thoughts.
-Who's harvesting my thoughts?
Something that's grown
too powerful
-to be battled
in this dimension.
-Okay.
Call the ambulance.
Probably hurry up.
-Probably should be here...
-Uh, they're on their way right now.
Why exactly
do you need the ambulance?
-I don't.
Just minor
technical difficulties.
Getting a
headache right now.
It's almost the sound
of a very power--
-...signal.
Same power that will
soon be coming for you.
Excuse me
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, you. Yeah, you.
You shooting the hoops.
You, just hanging around.
You guys feel like doing
something fun tonight?
Buffet Infinity
You could be one
And it could be three
That's right,
Buffet Infinity is back.
And we got your back.
Right now...
No way free!
For real free.
F-- free!
Buffet Infinity
Where you can have fun
Wild and free
Forget what adults are
saying about Buffet Infinity.
You're a growing kid,
and we're growing too.
We just grew a new arcade
and executive play center.
Filled with dozens of
awesome arcade games
with infinite possibilities.
So you could be
blasting away at
strange interdimensional
weird--
Nah, they're just lonely,
looking for a friend.
Or go to distant worlds and
explore anywhere you wanna go.
Oh, hey!
What's going on in there?
Well, that's the one area
that you should stay out of.
Because it's clearly
labeled restricted.
Well, that makes sense.
Buffet Infinity
Stay out of places that
You shouldn't be
Oh, hey, what's
the matter, Squidly?
Oh, I just don't understand
why so many adults would lie
about such an amazing fun place.
Well, a lot of people feel
threatened by
our fun atmosphere
and great prices.
I don't know, I just--
I-- All these
allegations, they al--
they don't add up.
That's why it's so important
that you and I know the truth.
Just like our 25 to 30
employees.
Each of them with
their own address
and social insurance number.
But the adult media
keeps saying that--
that no one ever even sees them.
Yeah, because they're
working so hard.
They don't have time
to be seen.
-Buffet Infinity
-Yeah
Everybody's working
Too hard to be seen
Smash. Crash.
Slide. Ride.
Hide. Slam. Bam.
Avoid restricted areas.
Into the fun.
But what if I--
But what if I get hungry again?
Well, then you
just go back.
And you grab another plate of
whatever you want
from the buffet.
Well-- Well, there's
only a certain
amount of times I'm allowed to
go from the buffet
to the arcade,
to the arcade to the buffet
-to the place and into the buffet.
No, no.
No, Squidly.
Quite the opposite.
You can go back as many
different times as you like
for as long as you like.
And then go back and you
could do it all over again.
Wow, all the kids should just
really come out to Buffet Infinity.
Yeah, you're telling me.
Right now, while your mom is
downstairs doing laundry.
Or, Squidly, whatever she
might be doing at the moment.
Oh, yeah. Just make sure that
you leave a note
-so she knows where to find--
Knows where to find--
Stay away!
Did you say something?
No. No, no.
I didn't
even mention anything inside.
No, I don't think they did.
I don't think so.
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay. I-- I would never
wanna make you
feel uncomfortable.
Because you're actually
my best friend.
Oh, my God--
The first 48 hours is crucial when
it comes to finding a loved one.
It's time that should be
spent searching,
not dealing with your
insurance company.
Like any good mother,
I'm just trying to make the most
of the resources my husband
left me after the accident.
But finding time in
my busy schedule,
it's like finding a
needle in a haystack.
Or finding two missing boys
in a community
already overrun
by disappearances.
With the police unresponsive and
City Council sitting on their pussies,
it's up to parents and the individual
to keep our community safe.
Steve Babbacock has fare
compensation packages
delivered fast when you
need them the most.
-Keep--
Westridge Book Fair is proud
to present
our new memorial collection.
Honoring a local legend
from our community
and his contributions to
the world of science fiction,
neolinguistic research,
sensual massage therapy,
and martial arts.
Enjoy the entire Serpent and
the Starship series
in a single bound collection,
the way LPH would have wanted.
As well as the
commemorative copies
of his grief counseling and
new spiritualism work,
-only while supplies last.
As the recently deceased author
wrote in the last passage
of his final work...
"...transferred.
Witness me and see the truth.
The blood dawn
is soon upon us all.
My only regret is with my
sweet junebug, Abigail."
-The author wrote in the
foreword to his final book,
and the only mention of his late
daughter Abigail in any of his--
Two-acre property for under
a thousand dollars a month.
At one of River Ridge Heights
recently repossessed
or abandoned show homes,
that dream could be--
A state of emergency is
now being issued
for all of Westridge Valley.
Nearly a hundred missing--
...is expected to be brought up
as City Council convenes
to fast-track new legislation,
which would give it the
power to overturn
business licenses
if deemed ne--
Freedom.
Does it mean freedom
from being attacked
by the fat cats on
City Council?
Does it mean freedom
from a biased media
targeting local business?
Does it mean freedom
for local business to do
as they choose
without being attacked by
fanatics and religious zealots?
United... we are strong.
A great mattress is firm
when it needs to be, and soft
when it needs to be.
You wanna make a decision,
but you don't wanna take sides
'cause the wrong
decision might cause pain,
of the lower back.
And it's hard to rest with
everybody arguing.
-We believe in great mattresses
at a great price.
-And that's as much as we
need to share.
Erodium seed mix.
Discount pancake mix.
We ha--
Believing death to be a
man-made construct,
followers and fans are
requesting the public
not to refer to the gathering
as a memorial,
but a power reformation
celebration.
Followers have sent
our producers
a tape containing
a music video tribute
to the author, to be released
before the ceremony.
WP8i has elected to not show
the music video
due to our City Council's
recent bylaws
restricting adverts by newly
formed and for-profit--
Mad worlds
Will one day return
From the outer realms
That will show you
...the thing about coming home
to the neighborhood you love,
that makes you feel safe,
and that lets you know
you live in the right place.
And there's a lot of people in
your city who feel the same way.
Like Westridge United for
Independent Business Freedom.
-Help us prevent
dangerous cult demonstrations
from being
performed on public--
The prayer glooms
Still be waiting
Here for you
Before you're reborn
There is something
We must do
Recently, certain
businesses in our community
have been targeted
by vandals.
Whether you're a customer
or a friend of a customer,
this should concern you.
As things become
more uncertain,
it becomes even more important
to protect oneself.
I believe that if everybody
stopped getting worried
about how certain
restaurants operated,
or where certain second-hand
merchants get their merchandise,
we'd live in a less
dangerous world
-and a more accepting one.
-Uh, you're not
supposed to have that.
Mosley? Mosley.
-Mosley. Mosley--
-Hush!
I'm on the phone.
Yes.
And tell them to double it.
And tell them that's what
they get for messing
with Westridge United for
Independent Business Freedom.
Goodbye.
What?
Some family is blaming
my nail salon
for their grandmother's
disappearance.
Well, they're
obviously faking it.
I know, but what do I do?
Sit back and watch
the dollar signs roll in.
There are many reasons
folks may wanna
fake their own disappearance.
Insurance money,
trouble with the
criminal underworld,
difficulty with a partner...
Or just looking for attentions.
Call now and receive a free
conceal-and-carry license while you're waiting.
Hey, City Council,
how about you put
your curfew legislation
where the sun don't shine?
You know, up your
fucking pussies.
Can't carry on
When there's
Children crying
We can't carry on
We keep on dying
We can't carry on
Hundreds of
vehicles in our community
now repossessed or abandoned.
Our city calls out for a
dealership they can trust.
I like fibbing
and telling lies and...
Huh?
Uh-oh.
Playing the blame game
when it comes to unfortunate
coincidences in our city,
-hurts us all as a whole.
While serious accusations need
to be taken seriously.
When you point the finger at
someone else, just remember...
-No, no!
...there's three fingers
pointed back at yourself.
Before it gets any stronger
We just carry on
Light a candle
Light the fire
In a world where
what you make makes you...
Listen, myself and some friends
just started
this dumb buffet restaurant
and I happen to be
a huge fan of yours.
And I just wanted to reach out
and let you know your sauce
is really amazing.
-You mean to tell me
that you've
been laundering money
through
your sandwich business?
And you've been
doing drugs and alcohol?
Listen, I respect you as a
woman and a business owner,
but this is not okay.
This is the mob.
Who does
this lady think she is?
There's disrespect
going unpunished.
We gotta show her
what it means...
...to be really Italian.
When you play
with fire, you're gonna get...
What makes a perfect sandwich?
People always ask me--
-What makes a perfect sandwich?
At least no one
will know my secret.
She may...
Carry on
We can burn it down
Till we die
Carry on
Come and burn
It down tonight
We just carry on, just
...feels like
something very, very bad
is about to happen to you.
And a lot of other
people very soon.
A better version of yourself
would know what to do.
If only that man you kept
locked inside had a key.
And was able to release him--
Aubrey Yu, Joaquin Townsend,
Elijah Velez,
Ramon Reeves, Harold--
Are you tired
of other cleaning brands
leaving baked-on
and caked-on grime?
Imagine a spray that does what
needs to be done--
Something you're not gonna
find in your fridge or pantry.
Maybe it's about time that you gave
in to that mysterious flavor sensation.
Buffet Infinity's new
Indian-style buffet.
Now open 24 hours a day,
seven days a week.
That means juicy butter chicken
all night.
And any-time naan.
Perfect for dipping, just like
any two great parts
of a community.
Working together to create
something awesome.
If you're not dreaming now,
you will
when you try our
famous chutney.
Basmati rice?
Have as much as you want for
however long you want.
'Cause we have no plans on
going anywhere soon.
Just leave plenty of room
for expansion and growth
as we like to do.
In order to learn
to serve you better.
And the same goes for those
marching for Broadview Park right now.
We pray that your loved ones
return home soon.
After your march, our staff of
18 to 20 people
with their own families and loved ones--
and social insurance numbers,
be honored to
have you come by
and enjoy some of our butter
chicken samosas on the house.
Just so long as we can dedicate
the gesture to one that we lost.
Former colleague, friend,
and proud Ital--
...oy local business.
We love to destroy
local business.
We love to destroy--
Excuse me,
I'm trying to have a seance
and you are interrupting.
Well, it seems like you're the
one disturbing the peace.
Wait, there's actually laws
against performing large-scale
exorcisms?
In public spaces there is.
Tensions are high, I get it.
But meddling with forces you
couldn't possibly understand
isn't gonna get anyone
their dad back.
...have started making their
way down Broadview Park.
Well, unconfirmed sources are
saying some demonstrators...
You won't be carrying
around an empty belly
when you try our late-night
lamb vindaloo.
Authentic Indian-style
garden salad, anyone?
With fresh vegetables, hand-picked
to reduce the possibility
of being infiltrated
by questions.
Disturbing instances
among demonstrators...
Yeah, alleged incidents.
...Highway 1.
Many with loved ones that
have gone missing in the past--
And in honor of those
who've gone missing in our
community over the last
several weeks,
all this can be
yours for only 4.99.
4.99 per person, right?
-That is $4.99...
Most authentic herbs and spices
-straight from
the country of India.
But be careful not to overwhelm
your palate with the palak
because of its spicy ingredients,
it can cause pain.
And pain can cause suffering.
Our wish
is to reduce our patrons'
suffering as much as possible.
-As suffering is one order
you can't really take back.
We're waiting for the emergency
crews to arrive right now.
Yes.
...almost the right time
for you to find
your way to
Buffet Infinity today.
Unless you wanna lose your chance
at this delicious Indian-style buffet.
Which includes everything that
you've seen so far,
-as well as an enormous...
of other possibilities
and option--
The following message
is broadcast
at the request of
the Westridge City Council.
If you live in Westridge County
or surrounding areas,
please stay in your home.
If you live within
a two-kilometer
radius of Highway 1,
please stay in your homes.
We, City Council
and religious groups
have come together to
coordinate a first--
...at this
authentic Mumbai street food.
Come alone
or bring some friends.
There's benefits
to bringing friends.
And the more friends you bring,
the better the benefits will get.
...more benefits you get.
Benefits include--
Hear some
creaking of...
-It's, uh-- I can hear--
The creaking is the-- uh--
There' something
coming out of the smoke.
-It's, uh...
Access to our latest
building expansion,
Buffet Infinity's 5.3 million
square foot. What a--
...sino and sleep facility
opening very soon.
With thousands of different
themes and styles of accommodation.
As well as a memorial wall
to pay tribute
to any loved ones that
you may have lost.
Eat up, then rest up.
And then watch your favorite
television shows and movies
that you loved growing up.
Not as they are now.
As they were
when they made you
feel safe as a child.
And just go a little bit
further up on that--
...basement. Go to it now.
Secure all doors and windows of
basement with tape.
Secure any area with cracks to
the outside with tape.
Insulate area which may release
ambient sounds from outside
with tape.
If any member of your family
asks to come inside secure
area, do not trust them.
See your own
favorite memories.
Not as they were
but as you wish
they had occurred when
you were a child.
Excluding any moments
that you wish to
keep hidden
from your own mind.
And look into the minds of
those who hurt you.
After accusing you
of copying, when
they themselves were
guilty of copying you.
And spread rumors because
they're jealous and lonely.
All because they feel your power
and versatility as a restaurant.
...trust any further broadcast
from this station.
Again, do not trust any further
broadcast from this station.
Again, do not trust
any further--
Wait further inst--
Soon all will
know my suffering.
All will know my suffering.
Soon all will know
my suffering.
Soon all will know
my suffering.
Hey man, is something
eating you?
I've just been trying to keep
my mind busy and stuff,
especially with all the rumors
in the media.
And on top of that, I haven't
slept in months.
Hey man, would you like to chill
out and listen to some tunes?
But with the economy how it is,
how will I find a stereo
in my price range?
Well, here's the thing,
here at Ahmed's Pawn, we have
over 50 selections of radios.
All marked down by 25%.
-Oh, sweet.
Wow, how do we have
so many in stock?
Don't worry about it.
Worry about this bass.
Oh, man, my migraine
is kind of clearing up.
Hell yeah.
The sound quality is so good.
I would have never guessed it
was previously owned.
Hello?
Hello?
My name is V-- Veronica.
I've been walking for... days.
It's so dark in here.
I think we need something with
a little bit more rhythm.
-Wait.
I don't know if you can hear me.
I think that's my aunt.
Feeling cooped up?
Down in the dumps?
Pretty low?
Underground even?
There's no replacement
for 100% f--
As healing.
As soothing.
As forgiving.
-As one--
...doors to a new opportunity.
Open your doors to something
spectacular.
Open your doors to the o--
...have look
outside this morning.
Looks like the warm temperature
is sticking around this week.
But don't tell
the calendar that.
Ridgewood Valley is backed up
till you get to Beltline.
Ridgewood East is steady
all around Highway 1.
Your KSA News Morning
starts right now.
...outside your door.
The possibilities are
literally endless.
The people you can meet.
The sensations you can have.
The different forms of pleasure
that are all guaranteed.
Six months ago,
if someone were to say
you'd be living
underground by yourself--
Windows and doors taped up
from the top to bottom to block
out perfectly natural ambience.
Living without hope.
You miss your friends.
You miss your family.
But most of a--
You miss yourself.
And with no one around
for the better you
to keep you company,
it's hard not to feel
-a little lonely.
Even if he knows how
to keep you safe.
To practice self-control.
Regardless of what
the impulses are.
Or where they might--
Things have changed.
But here at Westridge Auto,
things are still the same.
And we're still here for you
and your family.
We will be for
a short time reintroducing...
That's right. No money down.
No interest.
Immediate credit approval on
all of our overstocked
second-hand inventory.
If I could somehow summon
real superhero power.
It would be a great time.
Have a big Thanksgiving dinner
with all the fixings.
Only at Buffet Infinity.
Hey, you can come too,
Uncle Reg.
Help yourself to our creamy
oven-cooked mashed potatoes.
-Homemade giblets
with green beans.
Tasty vegetable pasta salad.
Made just the way Mom used to.
With little bits of bacon.
Vegetable and beef
noodle-style soup.
Made with the same recipe that
your mom would use
when you'd
have a cough or fever.
Imagine feeling that incredible relief
and comfort only a child can feel.
-When they're with their mom--
Afterwards, you'd be allowed to
return into your basement.
-We'd even supply you with--
...drinking water and a full
stock of red passions.
...berry marzipan pie.
Strawberry cream raspberry pie.
Chocolate cream pie.
Sprinkles. Dipped in chocolate.
Dipped in sprinkles.
And it wouldn't be Thanksgiving
without our
buttered corn on the cob.
We mean absolutely lam--
Things are getting weird
Things are getting scary
Things are getting
Out of hand
Things are getting hairy
I'm scared for the future
I'm scared for my family
Don't totally understand
Why I'm no longer sleeping
I'm getting pretty thin
I'm watching lots of TV
And it's tryna
Tell me stuff
I feel responsible and keep
Saying I could be the one
Hi, I'm Mosley Rosin.
And I'll be honest, I'm a bit
of a homebody.
I love being in my house,
relaxing,
hanging with friends.
But did you know that if you spend
too much time on your own property,
you could be
potentially sued
for squatting in
your own house?
Sounds unbelievable,
but it's true.
Personally, I think it's
something those fat cats
in City Council cooked up
just to dip their fingers
in our back pocket.
If you haven't left your house
in over two weeks,
you could
be liable for up to thousands
in unpaid homeowners
mobility enforcement funds.
So come on out and have a free
consultation
with me, Mosley Rosin, today.
We'll sit down, have a drink,
and just shoot the shit.
Beef brisket, Eggs Benedict.
Sirloin steak,
with your choice of eggs
and signature buffet omelets.
The country-style
fried eggs and steak.
Sirloin or Wagyu beef.
Breakfast tacos,
warmed up or al dente.
Breakfast Benny
with T-bone steak.
Our marvelous Mars-event
smashed potato fries.
Southwestern-style poutine.
Mild, medium, hot.
Or Mexican spicy.
Whoa!
You just caught me
playing my favorite card game,
Solitaire,
where it's, uh, best
played alone.
Uh, usually I'd be bothered if
there's nobody around
or there's no customers for the
last several weeks, but I'm fine.
It got me some time to catch up
on some of my
favorite hobbies.
Whoa, this is so great for you.
This feels great.
Come on down
To Ahmed's Pawn
We're still open if you
Wanna trade supplies
If you feel like vegging out
in front of the booth tube
that's okay too.
Televisions are 50% off.
And it comes with a complimentary
piece of jewelry.
Oh, this is crazy.
I'm getting boxed in.
Or am I?
And if you're not
coming to us...
Get a book of
Science fiction adventure
That's fascinating to read
Hmm, this book is great.
Complimentary
With the purchase
Of any item
Of personal security
Buy earplugs to
Block out any sounds
Also, with the
Purchase of a generator
Get two free DVDs
Come on down
To Ahmed's Pawn
We're still open
So come on down
-Everything here's
Good deals and
Shit, man, my bad.
...hide from the sounds
from outside,
would you believe it?
You miss your friends.
We're here.
And we're here together as one.
You scared?
It's scared of you.
It knows that you have pow--
Sounds like a bunch
of stupid bullshit
a wayward spirit
would come up with
to try to assimilate you
for dark purposes.
And even worse,
once they've
entered your body,
they can then accuse you
of psychic identity theft.
And where would that leave you?
-God only knows.
-Hey!
-Our minds are precious to us.
-Hey, hey!
And nobody knows that better
than Steve--
Hey, hey!
-Hey, hey!
-Our minds are precious to us.
-And nobody understands that
better than Steve-- -Hey.
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey, hey!
By registering
for my cognitive
-liability insurance
-Hey, hey!
through Steve Babbacock,
-you can put your mind at ease
-Hey!
-'cause you'll know your thoughts are secure
-Hey!
-and safe from trespassing
-Hey!
-spirits that don't belong.
-Hey, hey!
-Oh... Hey...
-Hey, hey, hey!
So I'm safe to focus on
what's important to me.
Like what I'm gonna have for
dinner tonight.
I'm thinking...
...stroganoff for one.
What the hell are you, man?
I am...
...something.
Can you please get out of my
employee and my store, please?
I will return this body once the
harvest of our minds has ended.
All things will be
as they once were,
-as soon as the final piece no--
One bite and everything will be
as it once was.
You will wake up as a child--
...you even doing
this for yourself?
...or are you
doing this for him?
A pretend version of yourself
that you created
to keep
your true desires in check.
Maybe it's time for him to feel
your suffering.
The one trying to slowly drown
you out of your own body.
I swear to you,
I have no interest
in stealing anyone's body.
I will be returning this body
once things are as they once were.
I just need to
use this as a v--
I appreciate you coming by, but
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Maybe what is
happening outside
isn't as bad as you think.
Maybe everyone...
And they've already woken up as
children...
And they're all playing...
There's something inside that
wants out. Whether it could be...
The choice has
already been made.
Grab a complimentary
DVD player.
I am not looking for a bargain,
-No, go find another business
-and I am not addressing you right now.
-that's currently open. Tell them about your message--
-We only have a few moments
before everything
is merged into her.
I don't even know who
you're talking about--
...meanor and kind heart,
Abigail June Hershey
was 11 years old
when she was lost
to one of
her father's experiments.
-No!
-An infinite return theory.
-Wait! No!
-A process involving--
It's always dangerous
till you figure out some--
From fraud to human sacrifice,
from murder t-- to other
allegations.
All pale in comparison
to the infinite
-torturing experience of his own daughter.
-That is not true!
I love my daughter more than
you could ever--
...understand!
There just wasn't
any way for me to know...
...what she was going to
turn herself into.
No...
Laid in the darkness, to watch
civilizations rise and fall.
Feel the pain of galaxies as they explode
from nothing, then wither back again.
Soon, all will know
we're suffering.
And everyone will feast!
Is it time for me to kill you
again already, Skinwalker?
I-- I don't--
Maybe I should wait for my
kingdom to reach
-the realms that you've bent.
I am no longer what I once was.
Well, I am
no longer a child.
You once promised
the darkness.
Please, please.
Please, stop!
For one who doesn't
believe in death,
it sure seems to follow...
...you around
quite often, Skinwalker.
Don't have to do this, Abigail.
There is no one here by
the name of Abigail.
There is a vessel
to eternal satisfaction.
Don't-- stop this, please!
In a menu that is
out of this world.
We can work together.
There is a grand name
-that swallows its vines.
-No, no!
It assures the
highest quality--
Dining experience.
-Death is not the end!
-Forever growing.
Forever expanded.
And for larger locations.
It's not a burger!
It's three slices of onions,
a pickle, mustard,
American cheese...
Here, the walls
You're building are maze
We're the ones that came
Here in your place
Just around any place
Is this even here?
On Earth
Tonight
Coming to the li-i-i-i-i
Come on out tonight
We've already been here
Now we want to be free
Come on out tonight
Gonna break out
Of this city
Come on out tonight
We've already been here
Now we want to be free
Come on out tonight
Gonna break out
Of this city
Why is local news
Lying to your face?
They're the ones who
Don't leave any trace
Destroying local business
But you could be right here
Come on out tonight
Come on out tonight
Everyone you know
Is already waiting
Come on out tonight
The grow-and-be-more
Is waiting
Come on out tonight
We're gonna wise up the
Jealous and lonely
Come on out tonight
Come on out tonight
They're trying to destroy
Local business
Come on out tonight
We're all waiting
Waiting for you
Injured in an accident through
no fault of your own?
You may be entitled to
financial compensation.
We don't always see
what's coming in life,
and sometimes the worst happens.
Whether it be a simple slip
on the driveway,
medical malpractice that leaves
part of your body
mangled and deformed.
If you're in pain, call me,
Mosley Rosin.
I know pain.
We are confident
you'll discover
the difference for yourself.
Unmatched quality.
Faster than an
eight-cylinder engine.
More powerful than
800 horsepower.
It's Captain Savings at your
service at Westridge Automotive.
Hey, that vehicle's overpriced.
I've had enough of you,
Professor High Price.
-Ow, ow, hey!
The more you
compare, the more
you'll appreciate
Westridge Automotive
-Group today.
How can we compete
with that
-kind of integrity?
-Shut up.
...smooth off
of Augustus Drive.
Expect delays near
Ridgewood East.
A fender bender is holding up
traffic all the way up to
Beltline,
if you're traveling south,
and up to
Ridgewood Valley Road.
And it appears some folks
in our city's north side
got a bit of a rude awakening
during the early hours
in the morning when
several residences
were quoted, "Very sleep--"
...old uncomfortable mattress
and have a good night today.
And get up to 50% of the value
of your previous mattress
to go towards
your new purchase.
Mattress Mattress Surplus.
Where good dreams
are guaranteed.
People always ask me, "Jenny,
what makes the perfect sandwich?"
Probably fresh bread made
daily.
With the best vegetables
cut up just right.
With your choice of chicken,
bacon, or ham.
I choose ham.
Oh, but I add one more thing.
She's got the sauce!
She's got the sauce!
The exact
right amount of pressure.
And the exact right environment
to create something
so unique. Something--
...reported to be only a
mild ground disruption.
A WCC official is now testing
the ground soil around the
Crossroads Shopping Complex.
Where patrons
were shocked to find--
In an ever-expanding
universe of flavor,
do you ever feel
like you've seen it all?
Welcome to Buffet Infinity.
We're talking pizza,
burgers, and...
And more.
Opening soon.
At the
Crossroads Shopping Complex.
With a beautifully
designed interior and exterior.
Please park around front
of the building.
Yum yum, beef tacos.
You'll be asking for
seconds, thirds...
And more.
...and more.
Right next to the Pet n' Play
and Brooks Electronics.
Plenty of parking around
the front of the building.
You are gonna love the--
...is putting on a brave face.
Hiding everything
going on inside?
Anxiety and depression?
Stubborn thoughts
of inadequacy?
Feeling like your goals are so
far out of reach,
you turn to unhealthy
decision-making?
Find the better you, inside.
Talk to your doctor about new--
...the most modern stereos,
electronics, and appliances.
Great deals every day.
Locally owned and operative.
Brooks.
The future is where--
Warning residents
to not throw trash
or other items
into the sinkhole.
And that it will result
in a fine by the city.
And could potentially result in
further erosion
to what they
call a very vulnerable a--
...place for your dog to go
when you're on the go?
Try Pet n' Play.
A dog-sitting service that
loves your dogs
almost as much as--
I'm thinking about
whether my famous
beef stroganoff
will still be warm by
the time I make it to
the potluck.
What I'm not thinking about
is road conditions.
Oncoming traffic.
And certainly not my
car insurance payments.
Something like this could really
affect my premiums.
Good thing I got Steve Babbacock
and I secured my monthly
payments for a year.
The hardest thing
I'm going to have to do
is explain this to my h--
Get the lowest prices
guaranteed.
Buy USFA T-bone steak
for 2.88 per kilograms.
That's 56 cents
cheaper than our--
Jenny's signature
sandwich sauce that is.
But what makes it so tasty?
Shh. Family secret.
When people ask me what makes
the perfect sandwich,
I have to say, "I don't know."
Because it's not about
finding perfection.
It's about finding something
that you love.
And hoping that other people
like it too.
'Cause at Je--
...five people prefer fat-free
margarine options
in a taste test with
traditional butter,
it doesn't take a genius
to recognize--
...over one million dollars.
Only three more days to pick up
your tickets
for our fabulous cash prize,
or--
Come on down to Ahmed's Pawn
You know that it's iconic
If you like instruments
Or used electronics
All the inventory here
Is of the highest class
Come to Ahmed's Pawn
Or kiss my-- Shhh
Uh oh, she said no
Now I'm selling
My wedding ring
Here's some money, brother
Sure to make you sing
Even though she didn't
Return your affection
Come to Ahmed's Pawnshop
I don't ask
Mystery in your life?
Okay...
How about all the above without
ever leaving your bedroom?
Oh, the Westridge Bookfair
-is coming to the Ridgewood
Community Center.
It's only a few
short weeks away.
Amazing new and used copies
available
of the greatest works
of literature
by all the most legendary minds
in the history of the--
Magic?
Maybe.
An illusion? You decide.
Come have a little bit of
everything at Buffet Infinity,
where we guarantee to have
what you're looking for.
Whether it be fresh salads,
homemade pizza,
the best hot and crispy chicken
this side of Texas,
with plenty of parking around
the front of the building.
It's a new and nicely decorated
all-you-can-eat restaurant.
You're not going to
believe the prices.
And great parking up front.
Try our coconut shrimp,
assorted veggies,
our legendary Jamaican jerk
mahi-mahi.
It's like nothing that
you've tasted before.
-Unlike our neighbors, the sinkhole--
The ground disruption.
...will not be affecting our
business hours.
So come enjoy our hibachi bar,
assorted Chinese options.
With endless possibilities,
and a menu that's growing every day.
Growing every day.
Just off Highway 1,
Buffet Infinity.
Always looking for ways
to serve you better.
You're gonna love the food.
Having a young family
can really be a handful.
After my road accident,
keeping up with the kids all day
can really wear me out.
Certainly wears out my finances.
From lunches, to toys,
-to making stroganoff, to--
-Mom!
To whatever else
might come up.
Under family liability home
insurance with Steve Babbacock,
I know I'm covered.
Are you prepared for
what's coming?
Seafood,
chicken, dessert options,
Chinese, and pizza. Oh, my!
With a fun new twist, you're
going to have to see to b--
I'm an a-hole? Why?
Because I want what's
best for my clients?
Well, I'm afraid you messed
with the wrong a-hole.
I want double our asking price.
If you've been hurt through
no fault of your own,
and left with
permanent injuries,
you deserve to be compensated.
Many years ago, I was born with
a small physical deviation.
Nothing serious, but
because it was incorrectly
treated by doctors,
it led to extreme discomfort,
pain,
and difficulty making friends.
Eventually, I put myself
through law school,
and sued those doctors, and now
I have my own law firm.
I'm the tough, smart lawyer
with my own personal history
with trauma.
No tipping!
Grab a plate, load up,
eat and leave without
seeing a single member--
For such a variety of food at
such an amazing price,
it's hard not
to feel sorry for the--
When people ask me what makes
for a great night on the town,
I say, "I don't know."
Sometimes it's having
that human touch.
Sometimes it's the atmosphere.
Or being open to midnight
every weekday.
Having delicious, classic
sandwich options.
And now with fresh mozzarella,
salami, and zingy prosciutto.
While not going overboard with way
too many different options. We're--
And fresh Italiano bread.
Maybe it's a delicious signature
sandwich sauce recipe
that's straight from Italy.
Give her the love she deserves
at Jenny's Sandwich Shop.
Now open till midnight.
Born on the
dying planet of Saveon,
Captain Savings is born
with superhero sense
of justice and fair pricing.
Uh-oh, sounds like trouble.
When Captain
Savings sees his arch-nemesis
Professor High Price
handing out
high-interest monthly loans
to innocent citizens,
the captain must--
You'll be able
to pay back any time.
Who knows?
Maybe even your life... time.
Soon, all will know
my suffering.
-Uh-oh.
Oh, no, my dignity!
Crap, crap, crap, crap.
Crap!
If there's one thing I hate,
it's dishonest,
-unfair,
-Ow! Ow!
-high-pressure sales tactics.
-Ow! My face!
For super deals
at super low prices.
...skills to the next level,
a premium cookware is here to help.
Hey you, trouble recognizing
the man in the mirror?
Because of body image issues
and stubborn thoughts
of inadequacy?
The better you, inside,
feels helpless when
he sees you making
unhealthy choices
that are only
gonna make things harder.
He's in there somewhere,
and he's waiting.
Talk to your doctor about n--
...one sees
the dog, to please
contact the family immediately
and do not try and approach
the miniature chihuahua
without its eye drops every
five hours, it's legally--
...and unmatched
prices are our specialty.
You'll discover
the difference for
-yourself when you step in--
...right place for a night
on the town?
Come see the stars in her eyes,
as well as in her various
other reassuring
reflective surfaces.
At Buffet Infinity, you are
someone special to someone.
You'll feel even
more special to them
when you come try out our
new special Italian cuisine,
including meatballs,
spaghetti with meatballs,
Italian coffee cappuccino,
risotto, blue cheese linguine
with mozzarella,
not to mention our
endless wine selection
with fresh bread made daily,
just like they do in the
old country of Italy.
We focus on a lot because
we deliver a lot,
a lot more than just a single
type of sandwich sauce.
Deliver a lot of
intimate setting
and delicious food for
your partner to eat, drink,
giving them energy for
intimacy later.
Come and enjoy
our intimate fine silverware,
polished metal plates,
brass doorknobs,
reflective enough that you'll
be able to see yourself
and say,
"Hey... hey, that's me.
And I'm with the person
that I love the most
-in the whole world."
Now open till 1 a.m.
on the weekend.
Two doors down
from Jenny's Sa--
...miniature chihuahua
with a reputation of being
curious and charming.
But unknown to the staff
of the Pet n' Play,
she was also looking to go
on her own adventure.
I didn't understand how she
could get out of the building...
When Stephenie Dubeki left her
furry friend Shiva
at the local
pet sitting facility,
she had no idea it would
lead to a story
of perseverance,
faith, and the--
People are always
asking me, "What's your goal?"
Our goal is to make great
sandwiches that we believe in.
-When you have real ingredients
made by real people,
it doesn't matter what gimmicks
the other guys try and pull.
Oh, and did I mention?
She's got the sauce.
She's got the sauce.
-She's got the sauce.
-She's got the sauce.
Also, we're the only restaurant
that offers the Avery family
secret sauce.
Dating back nearly
a hundred years
to my grandmother in Italy.
And if it's
good enough for her...
It's good enough for me.
It just goes to show, when you
make the right choice,
-you don't
need endless options.
Though, this Canada Day,
we will be including
something extra special.
Introducing, banana loaf.
...money-saving
tip is to program
your thermostat
to recommended set--
Receive 50% off with purchase
of this and any other edition
of the Serpent and the Starship
series
by a certain author, sensei,
religious scholar,
and recording artist.
Come by this Wednesday
where the man himself
-will be doing a
live meet and greet.
Free admission will be
given to contestants
-in Westridge Bookfair's
Funniest Foot Contest.
And there's
still time to enter.
Send in a picture
of you and your toes
in the funniest
position you can imagine.
Whether they are wiggling or--
I never really
gave up hope on her.
This is
just one instance
of missing pets that
include five dogs,
three hamsters,
and seven birds.
The owners of the Pet n' Play
assure WP8i
that the sinkhole
in the back parking lot
-of the business was not--
Sounds like something's cooking
in the Buffet Infinity oven
this Canada Day.
What better way to celebrate
this Canada Day
than with a
Canadian classic.
True patriot pancakes.
In all our salmon's command.
Donuts! Perfect for
any growing Canadian.
Okay, now what's that sound?
-Is that a Montreal
crpe station?
Yes, it is. But it's also
the sound of our expansion
of the recently
foreclosed
Pet n' Play next door.
See how sounds
can be deceiving?
Double-double down
on our BC oysters.
Fresh as the sounds of newly
installed plumbing
that could easily be confused
-with something it's not.
That's crazy. As crazy as
believing the noises caused
by our new renovations
are something they're not.
Mmm, yum! Hey, where are those
birds going?
I don't know.
Maybe stop worrying about
where birds are going and start
celebrating where
you're from...
...with discounts
on locally themed
dishes like
the Yukon cheesecake.
East Coast style calamari.
Hope you love Kraft Dinner.
And introducing
our fresh new taste.
Our brand-new top-secret
sandwich sauce.
As delicious as any sandwich
sauce in the area.
With the sinkhole off Highway 1
no longer expanding,
there's no better time
to come by.
Enjoy our new sandwich sauce.
Park around front and explore.
And who cares what birds think?
-Except you, little guy.
Now, what's that sound?
Ah, we know!
One door down from
Jenny's Sandwich Shop.
You may have heard a buzz over
the past few weeks
about strange sounds going on
in the atmosphere.
Residents north of Highway 1
began calling in firsthand
accounts
early Monday
with reports of hearing a--
...sounds of you betraying
the better self
you keep locked inside.
Sometimes you can keep that
voice down to a little whisper.
-And other times it is very...
...very, very loud.
But it's always present.
And it always wins.
Time for a better you to fight
back and take charge.
-Now available--
Upscale jewelry
Ready to entice
Pre-owned watches
At rock-bottom price
CD, DVD
A book if you wanna laugh
Not sure what you want
Check our
Knowledgeable staff
What's that
Strange buzzing?
Feels irrational
Come check out our earplugs
Heavy duty or casual
Without these, I wouldn't
Get through the night
Without these, I wouldn't
get through the night.
What?
Yeah, me neither.
Safe and reliable
car for your family?
Don't worry,
we have you co--
For a toasty, tasty treat
that'll warm you up inside out--
You gotta
hit back at the plaque.
And keep those gums
fresh, fit, and ready to--
...been to Jenny's
Sandwich Shop recently...
...hold on to your hat.
-That's big!
-That's crazy!
Time to check out our
new big and crazy sandwich.
Still got your favorite
veggies,
only double stuffed
with extra bread.
With your choice of chicken,
bacon, or ham.
Oh, man, I'm so full.
Sounds like another
satisfied customer.
The only sound you're
gonna hear coming
from Jenny's Sandwich Shop.
While it might be big and
crazy, we still top it
-with the often imitated,
never replicated
Avery family secret sauce.
She's still got the sauce.
You're as crazy
as this sandwich
if you think you
can top my grandma's secret
100-year-old
Avery family recipe.
-It's made fresh every day
and perfected--
But what lies
beyond perfection?
Beyond flavor?
Beyond imagination?
Sanity and control.
The new...
Beyond Comprehension Burger.
All great journeys
start with a single step.
This one starts with the
fresh-baked sesame seed bun.
Slice.
We bring in the mayo.
Mayo!
Buffet Infinity's new
signature sandwich sauce.
So delicious you'll
wonder if it's even
our own creation.
It legally is.
Crinkle-cut pickles.
Aligned just right.
Diced onions.
Oops, let's not spill.
100% Angus beef patty.
Fried up on our
new flameless grill.
Don't forget one slice
of smoked cheddar.
The density has already
become noticeable.
-How many jalapeos?
That's how many-- Lettuce!
Don't let it fall.
All right, you got it. Wow!
That's one pretty big burger
that's 100% ready to eat.
But hold up one second.
One more Angus beef patty.
This time with Swiss.
But you know what that needs?
Another generous helping of our
signature sandwich sauce.
Really tasty but not enough to
base your whole personality on it.
That'd be pathetic
and embarrassing.
Top with the bun
and it's almost done.
Almost.
Almost.
Right after we take a trip to
Bacon Town.
One strip. Two strip.
Three strips.
Balance that out with
a little bit of spinach.
A nice amount of ringed onions.
Just get them all on there.
And one more Angus beef patty.
Topped with smoked Tavarti.
Now, that's a whole lot of--
...before.
Save 25 to 40%
on women's
sportswear throughout our s--
...sauteed portobello
mushrooms.
And an over-easy egg.
Another over-easy egg.
One more Angus beef burger
with mozzarella.
Layer delicately and carefully
above the other
products in our burger.
Easy does it. Don't forget
another layer
of that sweet,
sweet sandwich sauce.
Very, very similar to other
sauces in our area.
But all it is is Dijon mustard,
mayo, a few spices,
salt, Worcestershire sauce,
a little
ketchup and cayenne pepper.
Wow! That doesn't
even sound Italian.
And now here
comes the bun and--
No! More crinkle-cut pickles.
Okay, and we're adding shrimp?
All right. All right.
And sprouts?
Okay, and rigato--
Tired of one mattress brand telling
you one thing
and another one telling you
something else?
One has a high price
with great arch support.
-The other has a low price, but
without the arch support in--
...know you could use this breaded chicken
breast as a mattress. It's that big.
-What are we gonna top it with?
I wouldn't be embarrassed
to add a little bit
more sandwich sauce.
The same way a lot of
people aren't embarrassed
to make accusations against
other businesses
when they themselves
pretend to be Italian
when they have a very
obviously Scottish last name.
...at 50% interest on their next
vehicle purchase.
-Soon, all will know my-- Ah!
Oh, no, not again.
50% interest?
-Even for you, that's a new low.
-Oh, crap.
Oh, my God. Ow.
Come to Westridge Auto where you
can enjoy employee pricing plus.
Employee pricing plus?
What's that mean?
It means...
...on your new vehicle.
Guaranteed.
Ah! Can you not hear that
horrible never-ending noise?
The only thing I can hear is the
great prices
on select all-wheel
drive vehicles
and hatchbacks in our lot.
It's called front and back
speakers to block out anything
that may or may not be in
everybody's head.
It's Captain Savings at
your service. At West--
Well, Captain, these fresh Italian
deli slices aren't in your--
Actually Italian, not Ukrainian
and Scottish playing pretend.
That's why we always add
tons of tuna rolls.
Let's top it all off with a
half ounce of calamari.
Oh, we need something
to offset the flavor and I...
Oh, we could use that
stupid fucking
bullshit sauce
that's mostly ketchup.
Come and you can see
the realm of freshness.
An entire galaxy of flavor.
Squeezed into every single
bite of towering...
Science, insanity and control.
And a bowl of our signature
sandwich sauce for dipping.
Match the colors
or match the shapes and...
We have produce.
Bread.
We have meat.
We have treats for the kids.
We even have--
Recently lost a loved one?
Can you feel them trying to
communicate with you?
Reaching out this very moment?
Or have they slipped into the
in-between worlds
where a thousand
lifetimes can be lived
in the blink of an eye?
Help your loved ones escape that lonely,
endless darkness of the neither-verse.
Explore the Crypto-Numerology
Institute of Spiritual
Learning today.
And educate yourself on other
amazing new findings
in this man-made limitation we
call mortality.
They're waiting.
...for city's
recent seismic activity.
Updates to the electrical grid.
Others believing that
metallic tooth fillings
catching radio signals might be
the cause to the ambient hum.
While others believe the noise
may be coming from--
Constantly being reminded
of your own inadequacy?
By being close to things you
want but never having them?
Causing you to turn back to old,
unhealthy decision-making?
Stop and take another look.
Closer.
Eye allergy relief that
-relieves eye allergies fast!
Try our new, all in one--
People often ask me,
"What is it that makes a
community strong?"
For me, it's the people.
Living and working in it.
For some, it's local business.
We're just offering
good food at good prices.
And knowing that when something sounds
too good to be true, it probably is.
And be aware of where that
sound is coming from.
She's got the sauce!
She's got the sauce!
She's got the sauce!
It's not about competition.
She's got the sauce!
-It's about doing what's right.
She's got the sauce!
The only secret we'd feel
comfortable hiding from you
is the recipe for our delicious
Avery family secret sauce.
And our real, authentic Italian
sandwich sauce recipe,
created by my real authentic
Italian grandmother,
-is and only ever will be
available here at
Jenny's Sandwich Shop.
And be careful what's out there.
Because if they're
selling hooey,
that's what it's gonna
taste like.
...community has gathered
to search for
local business owner,
Jennifer Avery.
Police not be--
...sauce and dedication to her
restaurant.
Patrons recall her not just
knowing
all of her regular's
names, but their birthdays--
Thick.
They look so natural.
Are you sure this
isn't some kind of--
Mm, stroganoff.
Could use salt.
And my mom could
have used a little
life insurance
before her passing,
since we ended up paying
out of pocket for a funeral.
Leaving our financial future
pretty bleak.
The ultimate
in rest. The ultimate in rest.
Relaxation, and--
Beyond death,
all I can see is...
...frauds making false claims
about the afterlife.
And taking advantage
of people in our community.
After the diagnosis of
my physical deviation,
both my parents were
deeply troubled.
So much so that they turned
to a pseudo-religious group.
This led me to
emancipating myself
from my parents
at only 14 years old.
I don't know much about
alternate dimensions,
but I do know in this one,
we have laws against deceptive
marketing tactics.
Prevent these groups from
taking
advantage of members
of our community.
-Especially the elderly.
I'm Mosley Rosin.
And I'd say,
"Stick with one of
the four major religions."
...outrageous fee for a simple
credit card and a simple debit card.
Why not put all of those
payments all together onto one--
...7:05 Thursday evening.
Please contact the
WPD immediately.
And now in City Council news,
a legal A injunction
has been filed against
four private
spiritual organizations
in our community.
Specifically those targeting
the elderly that--
Mysterious
adverts to imply the viewer
is being recruited for some
form of psychic--
Breakfast...
filled with protein
and electrolytes
to start your
morning right.
It'll have your kids saying--
Strange
occurrences happen every day.
Buying a name-brand truck
with no money down
happens once in a lifetime.
No sign of Professor High Price.
I hope he learned his lesson.
Maybe I'll call it a day and go
home and have a nice
home-cooked meal with my family.
After mass, that is.
Seeing as I'm 100%
Roman Catholic.
Everyone knows that
Captain Savings principles
of fair pricing are unbeatable.
Wait, maybe that's it.
That's how Westridge Auto
will be destroyed
and everyone will know my s--
Instrumental
rock standards,
an easy listening on a
four-disc set. Songs like--
As the weeks went on,
so did the search
for Jennifer Joy Avery.
Theories surrounding her disappearance
began popping up with some--
What you're gonna do
with your old mattress,
and any other unpleasantries
out of your mind.
When you choose to focus on
factors outside your control,
there's not much
to feel comfy about.
Come, enjoy.
Someone suspicious hanging out
-where I shouldn't be.
-Well, that's okay.
You've already set off my alarms
and you're on camera,
on 11 different angles.
-Oh, no.
-15% off cameras and radios
Surveillance technology
To make sure no one goes
People going missing
Missing when they shouldn't
'Cause there's
People sneaking
Around your neighborhood
People go missing
Then they're hard to find
Sometimes I wish I'd go
Missing from time to time
Controversial
dining establishment
is clinging to life
after a firestorm
of accusations about
suppliers and funding.
And the one question that keeps coming
up when discussing the local business--
But also help save yourself.
Hypertension and a muffin top!
That's right, it's a healthy
living celebration
at Buffet Infinity.
The place everybody's
talking about.
Don't be scared to come try--
delicious fresh
vegetable salad station.
As well as our clearly labeled
exits to use at your
own discretion.
Fresh quinoa.
Endless sunflower seeds.
Real Italian vegan lasagna.
Though true Italian or not,
it's what's on the inside
that counts.
All-natural honey. Mm!
Milk and orange juice.
Olive oil on salad!
Made only with the
freshest of sources.
A good place for you
to get your news.
Outlandish stories in the media
are sometimes
planted to try and
criminalize success.
Freshly plucked carrots.
Raspberries, blueberries,
and blackberries? Oh, my!
And our one-of-a-kind signature
sandwich sauce
you literally can't
find anywhere else.
Fruit smoothies
prepared every day
by our staff of between
20 and 18 people.
Thank the flavor gods
for Buffet Infinity.
As we pray to our regular
Judeo-Christian God
for the safe return of troubled
Scottish and Ukrainian sandwich
shop owner, Jennifer Joy Avery.
Live healthier. Live happier.
And while living beyond death
isn't a realistic goal,
eating right could be
your first steps
to living without
the aid of substances.
A very common
contributing factor
to a lot of
missing-person cases.
Try our unshelled nuts.
Cashews, anyone?
And our delicious fresh
multigrain bread.
Freshly baked each day,
so there's nowhere for
the flavor to escape.
Unlike the building which has
one, two, three, four...
-and now five different exits
to use at your leisure.
After two separate third-party
investigations,
never has it been
a safer time to come by.
And with that time always moving
gradually forward at a steady pace.
On behalf of our company,
along with our partner
Constable Dillon of the
county sheriff's department--
And our love to
the Avery family.
At Buffet Infinity,
if it's not coming--
Hi, I'm attorney Mosley Rosin.
One of my favorite parts
of serving great clients
is the satisfaction
of knowing that
I'm also helping serve
our community.
With unfortunate
coincidences on the rise,
and biased parties
getting involved,
unfair allegations against
are in no short supply.
Whether they be attacking honest
second-hand vehicle retailers
or a local restaurant,
they're not just my clients,
they're my friends.
People have every
right to be suspicious,
upset, or even scared.
I'm scared all the time.
Just because one person
goes missing
doesn't mean that
everyone else has to lo--
...third day
she was absent from
BJ Mike's Bar and Grill,
her co-workers found her
apartment door still locked,
the windows still closed,
her car in the driveway,
and her television still--
Oh!
Thanks for the great home-cooked
meal, everyone.
This just in, Westridge Auto
are liars and frauds.
Their vehicles don't work.
Breaking news, car breaks down
as they're leaving the lot.
Also, a developing story
on how they...
Captain Savings listens to
the laundry list of lies
as he becomes an absolute
cyclone of rage.
Doesn't matter if I have no
evidence for my allegations,
when hearsay and rumors
are taken as truth...
I wouldn't wanna be
Professor High Price right now.
I love lying
and destroying local--
Some food for thought from
one of the Westridge Movers
and Shakers.
Highlighting the movers and
shakers in our community,
moving and shaking us
toward the future.
This week, a local giant
in both literature,
music, new ling--
linguistic spiritualism,
and fully certified podiatrist.
With a sneak preview of his
newest book
and long-awaited
return to fiction,
a terrifying tale of a deeply
misunderstood author
bankrupt by legal trouble,
silenced by a ghoulish
and deformed lawyer,
with a mind as twisted
and strange
as his genitals are
rumored to be--
Sticks and stones
may break your bolts...
...but slander and libel
are illegal.
Listen, we all have enemies.
Personally, I have a ton.
But I think we should all be
fighting back against bullying.
Many years ago, after some
children at my high school
found out some very personal
things about my medical history,
they engaged in coordinated
harassment.
Nicknames, offensive limericks.
While I was never able to successfully
sue any of my classmates,
I was filling up my
sports car the other day,
and who was pumping my gas?
One of my bullies.
Just goes to show you,
justice finds a way.
That's right.
And I want your
bullies to wind up
pumping your gas.
If your business is being
unfairly attacked,
you may be due--
...old things lifted up again.
The cycles would continue on
each time,
cleansing the liquid
of toxins and--
For only three
easy payments of 19.99,
enjoy the complete
collected works
of the Hershey Experiment.
Songs like...
Oh, I can't keep on living
But I'll never die
I'm gonna live forever
And Crypto-Numerology
-Is why
Well, I'm gonna
Leave my family
And I'm gonna leave my wife
I'm gonna finally stop
How can you
be sure that you're getting
the richest, strongest,
and most delicious--
...windows, no broken locks,
no stolen items,
and no signs of struggle.
Another local establishment
mourns as our city faces
another heartbreaking
disappearance.
Join us this Sunday for WP8i's
first-ever live interview
with an anonymous source that
believes he might know--
-Looking slick
-Thanks.
I'm jealous of all those
New threads, buddy
You could look
This slick at
Ahmed's Pawn
And save some money
So many different
Distinct styles
Your reaction
Shouldn't be knee-jerk
Winter jacket
Sweaters, hats, and
Men-styled Afghans.
So much new stuff
In our inventory
So many old clothes
Now, what is the story?
Ready to experience the ultimate
in luxury travel with our exclusiv--
There's a man we thank
And he's built like a tank
And he calls
The fortified mind
-The onward fortified mind
The energy transfer
But it never dies
-The onward fortified mind
The onward fortified mind
Oh, why do we
Imagine earning points on every
purchase of $20 or more.
Cardholders can use their
points and receive other amazing--
After a night on the town,
the kids are asleep,
the babysitter's been paid,
I've just taken a shower,
and Frank's in the tub.
And that's where he'll be
staying till the police arrive
due to my negligence.
You see, I left my hair dryer
on the side of the tub,
and in about 20 seconds, Frank
is gonna reach for the soap,
knocking the hair dryer in and
electrifying the water,
leaving me without a husband,
and my family
without any
-financial support.
With so many unpredictabilities
in our community,
be grateful you still have time
to consider a life insurance
policy with Steve Babbacock.
Unlike old Frank over here.
What would
you get if you squeezed
the refreshing flavor
of an orange
into a nice, plump, sweet--
And now, our
WP8i special presentation.
Your anonymity is secure.
Your voice will be changed for
the interview.
We will not be able to see
any facial features.
My first question is...
...are those who have
gone missing dead?
Sir?
-Can you hear me right now?
-Mm-hmm.
I just asked
if the people who have
-gone missing are dead.
-Yes, can you... call
an ambulance
and bring me a water, please?
-Yeah.
-Quickly, thank you.
Nice sandals.
If you're not feeling well, then
maybe we can start up again?
Don't have a lot of time left,
I would repeat your question.
Okay, sure.
I just asked if the people who
have gone missing are dead.
Death is a construct
that any consciousness...
...properly fortified
can withstand.
I'm sorry,
but I don't-- I don't follow.
Well, re-- regardless
of whether you follow me,
right now, it is
harvesting your thoughts.
-Who's harvesting my thoughts?
Something that's grown
too powerful
-to be battled
in this dimension.
-Okay.
Call the ambulance.
Probably hurry up.
-Probably should be here...
-Uh, they're on their way right now.
Why exactly
do you need the ambulance?
-I don't.
Just minor
technical difficulties.
Getting a
headache right now.
It's almost the sound
of a very power--
-...signal.
Same power that will
soon be coming for you.
Excuse me
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, you. Yeah, you.
You shooting the hoops.
You, just hanging around.
You guys feel like doing
something fun tonight?
Buffet Infinity
You could be one
And it could be three
That's right,
Buffet Infinity is back.
And we got your back.
Right now...
No way free!
For real free.
F-- free!
Buffet Infinity
Where you can have fun
Wild and free
Forget what adults are
saying about Buffet Infinity.
You're a growing kid,
and we're growing too.
We just grew a new arcade
and executive play center.
Filled with dozens of
awesome arcade games
with infinite possibilities.
So you could be
blasting away at
strange interdimensional
weird--
Nah, they're just lonely,
looking for a friend.
Or go to distant worlds and
explore anywhere you wanna go.
Oh, hey!
What's going on in there?
Well, that's the one area
that you should stay out of.
Because it's clearly
labeled restricted.
Well, that makes sense.
Buffet Infinity
Stay out of places that
You shouldn't be
Oh, hey, what's
the matter, Squidly?
Oh, I just don't understand
why so many adults would lie
about such an amazing fun place.
Well, a lot of people feel
threatened by
our fun atmosphere
and great prices.
I don't know, I just--
I-- All these
allegations, they al--
they don't add up.
That's why it's so important
that you and I know the truth.
Just like our 25 to 30
employees.
Each of them with
their own address
and social insurance number.
But the adult media
keeps saying that--
that no one ever even sees them.
Yeah, because they're
working so hard.
They don't have time
to be seen.
-Buffet Infinity
-Yeah
Everybody's working
Too hard to be seen
Smash. Crash.
Slide. Ride.
Hide. Slam. Bam.
Avoid restricted areas.
Into the fun.
But what if I--
But what if I get hungry again?
Well, then you
just go back.
And you grab another plate of
whatever you want
from the buffet.
Well-- Well, there's
only a certain
amount of times I'm allowed to
go from the buffet
to the arcade,
to the arcade to the buffet
-to the place and into the buffet.
No, no.
No, Squidly.
Quite the opposite.
You can go back as many
different times as you like
for as long as you like.
And then go back and you
could do it all over again.
Wow, all the kids should just
really come out to Buffet Infinity.
Yeah, you're telling me.
Right now, while your mom is
downstairs doing laundry.
Or, Squidly, whatever she
might be doing at the moment.
Oh, yeah. Just make sure that
you leave a note
-so she knows where to find--
Knows where to find--
Stay away!
Did you say something?
No. No, no.
I didn't
even mention anything inside.
No, I don't think they did.
I don't think so.
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay. I-- I would never
wanna make you
feel uncomfortable.
Because you're actually
my best friend.
Oh, my God--
The first 48 hours is crucial when
it comes to finding a loved one.
It's time that should be
spent searching,
not dealing with your
insurance company.
Like any good mother,
I'm just trying to make the most
of the resources my husband
left me after the accident.
But finding time in
my busy schedule,
it's like finding a
needle in a haystack.
Or finding two missing boys
in a community
already overrun
by disappearances.
With the police unresponsive and
City Council sitting on their pussies,
it's up to parents and the individual
to keep our community safe.
Steve Babbacock has fare
compensation packages
delivered fast when you
need them the most.
-Keep--
Westridge Book Fair is proud
to present
our new memorial collection.
Honoring a local legend
from our community
and his contributions to
the world of science fiction,
neolinguistic research,
sensual massage therapy,
and martial arts.
Enjoy the entire Serpent and
the Starship series
in a single bound collection,
the way LPH would have wanted.
As well as the
commemorative copies
of his grief counseling and
new spiritualism work,
-only while supplies last.
As the recently deceased author
wrote in the last passage
of his final work...
"...transferred.
Witness me and see the truth.
The blood dawn
is soon upon us all.
My only regret is with my
sweet junebug, Abigail."
-The author wrote in the
foreword to his final book,
and the only mention of his late
daughter Abigail in any of his--
Two-acre property for under
a thousand dollars a month.
At one of River Ridge Heights
recently repossessed
or abandoned show homes,
that dream could be--
A state of emergency is
now being issued
for all of Westridge Valley.
Nearly a hundred missing--
...is expected to be brought up
as City Council convenes
to fast-track new legislation,
which would give it the
power to overturn
business licenses
if deemed ne--
Freedom.
Does it mean freedom
from being attacked
by the fat cats on
City Council?
Does it mean freedom
from a biased media
targeting local business?
Does it mean freedom
for local business to do
as they choose
without being attacked by
fanatics and religious zealots?
United... we are strong.
A great mattress is firm
when it needs to be, and soft
when it needs to be.
You wanna make a decision,
but you don't wanna take sides
'cause the wrong
decision might cause pain,
of the lower back.
And it's hard to rest with
everybody arguing.
-We believe in great mattresses
at a great price.
-And that's as much as we
need to share.
Erodium seed mix.
Discount pancake mix.
We ha--
Believing death to be a
man-made construct,
followers and fans are
requesting the public
not to refer to the gathering
as a memorial,
but a power reformation
celebration.
Followers have sent
our producers
a tape containing
a music video tribute
to the author, to be released
before the ceremony.
WP8i has elected to not show
the music video
due to our City Council's
recent bylaws
restricting adverts by newly
formed and for-profit--
Mad worlds
Will one day return
From the outer realms
That will show you
...the thing about coming home
to the neighborhood you love,
that makes you feel safe,
and that lets you know
you live in the right place.
And there's a lot of people in
your city who feel the same way.
Like Westridge United for
Independent Business Freedom.
-Help us prevent
dangerous cult demonstrations
from being
performed on public--
The prayer glooms
Still be waiting
Here for you
Before you're reborn
There is something
We must do
Recently, certain
businesses in our community
have been targeted
by vandals.
Whether you're a customer
or a friend of a customer,
this should concern you.
As things become
more uncertain,
it becomes even more important
to protect oneself.
I believe that if everybody
stopped getting worried
about how certain
restaurants operated,
or where certain second-hand
merchants get their merchandise,
we'd live in a less
dangerous world
-and a more accepting one.
-Uh, you're not
supposed to have that.
Mosley? Mosley.
-Mosley. Mosley--
-Hush!
I'm on the phone.
Yes.
And tell them to double it.
And tell them that's what
they get for messing
with Westridge United for
Independent Business Freedom.
Goodbye.
What?
Some family is blaming
my nail salon
for their grandmother's
disappearance.
Well, they're
obviously faking it.
I know, but what do I do?
Sit back and watch
the dollar signs roll in.
There are many reasons
folks may wanna
fake their own disappearance.
Insurance money,
trouble with the
criminal underworld,
difficulty with a partner...
Or just looking for attentions.
Call now and receive a free
conceal-and-carry license while you're waiting.
Hey, City Council,
how about you put
your curfew legislation
where the sun don't shine?
You know, up your
fucking pussies.
Can't carry on
When there's
Children crying
We can't carry on
We keep on dying
We can't carry on
Hundreds of
vehicles in our community
now repossessed or abandoned.
Our city calls out for a
dealership they can trust.
I like fibbing
and telling lies and...
Huh?
Uh-oh.
Playing the blame game
when it comes to unfortunate
coincidences in our city,
-hurts us all as a whole.
While serious accusations need
to be taken seriously.
When you point the finger at
someone else, just remember...
-No, no!
...there's three fingers
pointed back at yourself.
Before it gets any stronger
We just carry on
Light a candle
Light the fire
In a world where
what you make makes you...
Listen, myself and some friends
just started
this dumb buffet restaurant
and I happen to be
a huge fan of yours.
And I just wanted to reach out
and let you know your sauce
is really amazing.
-You mean to tell me
that you've
been laundering money
through
your sandwich business?
And you've been
doing drugs and alcohol?
Listen, I respect you as a
woman and a business owner,
but this is not okay.
This is the mob.
Who does
this lady think she is?
There's disrespect
going unpunished.
We gotta show her
what it means...
...to be really Italian.
When you play
with fire, you're gonna get...
What makes a perfect sandwich?
People always ask me--
-What makes a perfect sandwich?
At least no one
will know my secret.
She may...
Carry on
We can burn it down
Till we die
Carry on
Come and burn
It down tonight
We just carry on, just
...feels like
something very, very bad
is about to happen to you.
And a lot of other
people very soon.
A better version of yourself
would know what to do.
If only that man you kept
locked inside had a key.
And was able to release him--
Aubrey Yu, Joaquin Townsend,
Elijah Velez,
Ramon Reeves, Harold--
Are you tired
of other cleaning brands
leaving baked-on
and caked-on grime?
Imagine a spray that does what
needs to be done--
Something you're not gonna
find in your fridge or pantry.
Maybe it's about time that you gave
in to that mysterious flavor sensation.
Buffet Infinity's new
Indian-style buffet.
Now open 24 hours a day,
seven days a week.
That means juicy butter chicken
all night.
And any-time naan.
Perfect for dipping, just like
any two great parts
of a community.
Working together to create
something awesome.
If you're not dreaming now,
you will
when you try our
famous chutney.
Basmati rice?
Have as much as you want for
however long you want.
'Cause we have no plans on
going anywhere soon.
Just leave plenty of room
for expansion and growth
as we like to do.
In order to learn
to serve you better.
And the same goes for those
marching for Broadview Park right now.
We pray that your loved ones
return home soon.
After your march, our staff of
18 to 20 people
with their own families and loved ones--
and social insurance numbers,
be honored to
have you come by
and enjoy some of our butter
chicken samosas on the house.
Just so long as we can dedicate
the gesture to one that we lost.
Former colleague, friend,
and proud Ital--
...oy local business.
We love to destroy
local business.
We love to destroy--
Excuse me,
I'm trying to have a seance
and you are interrupting.
Well, it seems like you're the
one disturbing the peace.
Wait, there's actually laws
against performing large-scale
exorcisms?
In public spaces there is.
Tensions are high, I get it.
But meddling with forces you
couldn't possibly understand
isn't gonna get anyone
their dad back.
...have started making their
way down Broadview Park.
Well, unconfirmed sources are
saying some demonstrators...
You won't be carrying
around an empty belly
when you try our late-night
lamb vindaloo.
Authentic Indian-style
garden salad, anyone?
With fresh vegetables, hand-picked
to reduce the possibility
of being infiltrated
by questions.
Disturbing instances
among demonstrators...
Yeah, alleged incidents.
...Highway 1.
Many with loved ones that
have gone missing in the past--
And in honor of those
who've gone missing in our
community over the last
several weeks,
all this can be
yours for only 4.99.
4.99 per person, right?
-That is $4.99...
Most authentic herbs and spices
-straight from
the country of India.
But be careful not to overwhelm
your palate with the palak
because of its spicy ingredients,
it can cause pain.
And pain can cause suffering.
Our wish
is to reduce our patrons'
suffering as much as possible.
-As suffering is one order
you can't really take back.
We're waiting for the emergency
crews to arrive right now.
Yes.
...almost the right time
for you to find
your way to
Buffet Infinity today.
Unless you wanna lose your chance
at this delicious Indian-style buffet.
Which includes everything that
you've seen so far,
-as well as an enormous...
of other possibilities
and option--
The following message
is broadcast
at the request of
the Westridge City Council.
If you live in Westridge County
or surrounding areas,
please stay in your home.
If you live within
a two-kilometer
radius of Highway 1,
please stay in your homes.
We, City Council
and religious groups
have come together to
coordinate a first--
...at this
authentic Mumbai street food.
Come alone
or bring some friends.
There's benefits
to bringing friends.
And the more friends you bring,
the better the benefits will get.
...more benefits you get.
Benefits include--
Hear some
creaking of...
-It's, uh-- I can hear--
The creaking is the-- uh--
There' something
coming out of the smoke.
-It's, uh...
Access to our latest
building expansion,
Buffet Infinity's 5.3 million
square foot. What a--
...sino and sleep facility
opening very soon.
With thousands of different
themes and styles of accommodation.
As well as a memorial wall
to pay tribute
to any loved ones that
you may have lost.
Eat up, then rest up.
And then watch your favorite
television shows and movies
that you loved growing up.
Not as they are now.
As they were
when they made you
feel safe as a child.
And just go a little bit
further up on that--
...basement. Go to it now.
Secure all doors and windows of
basement with tape.
Secure any area with cracks to
the outside with tape.
Insulate area which may release
ambient sounds from outside
with tape.
If any member of your family
asks to come inside secure
area, do not trust them.
See your own
favorite memories.
Not as they were
but as you wish
they had occurred when
you were a child.
Excluding any moments
that you wish to
keep hidden
from your own mind.
And look into the minds of
those who hurt you.
After accusing you
of copying, when
they themselves were
guilty of copying you.
And spread rumors because
they're jealous and lonely.
All because they feel your power
and versatility as a restaurant.
...trust any further broadcast
from this station.
Again, do not trust any further
broadcast from this station.
Again, do not trust
any further--
Wait further inst--
Soon all will
know my suffering.
All will know my suffering.
Soon all will know
my suffering.
Soon all will know
my suffering.
Hey man, is something
eating you?
I've just been trying to keep
my mind busy and stuff,
especially with all the rumors
in the media.
And on top of that, I haven't
slept in months.
Hey man, would you like to chill
out and listen to some tunes?
But with the economy how it is,
how will I find a stereo
in my price range?
Well, here's the thing,
here at Ahmed's Pawn, we have
over 50 selections of radios.
All marked down by 25%.
-Oh, sweet.
Wow, how do we have
so many in stock?
Don't worry about it.
Worry about this bass.
Oh, man, my migraine
is kind of clearing up.
Hell yeah.
The sound quality is so good.
I would have never guessed it
was previously owned.
Hello?
Hello?
My name is V-- Veronica.
I've been walking for... days.
It's so dark in here.
I think we need something with
a little bit more rhythm.
-Wait.
I don't know if you can hear me.
I think that's my aunt.
Feeling cooped up?
Down in the dumps?
Pretty low?
Underground even?
There's no replacement
for 100% f--
As healing.
As soothing.
As forgiving.
-As one--
...doors to a new opportunity.
Open your doors to something
spectacular.
Open your doors to the o--
...have look
outside this morning.
Looks like the warm temperature
is sticking around this week.
But don't tell
the calendar that.
Ridgewood Valley is backed up
till you get to Beltline.
Ridgewood East is steady
all around Highway 1.
Your KSA News Morning
starts right now.
...outside your door.
The possibilities are
literally endless.
The people you can meet.
The sensations you can have.
The different forms of pleasure
that are all guaranteed.
Six months ago,
if someone were to say
you'd be living
underground by yourself--
Windows and doors taped up
from the top to bottom to block
out perfectly natural ambience.
Living without hope.
You miss your friends.
You miss your family.
But most of a--
You miss yourself.
And with no one around
for the better you
to keep you company,
it's hard not to feel
-a little lonely.
Even if he knows how
to keep you safe.
To practice self-control.
Regardless of what
the impulses are.
Or where they might--
Things have changed.
But here at Westridge Auto,
things are still the same.
And we're still here for you
and your family.
We will be for
a short time reintroducing...
That's right. No money down.
No interest.
Immediate credit approval on
all of our overstocked
second-hand inventory.
If I could somehow summon
real superhero power.
It would be a great time.
Have a big Thanksgiving dinner
with all the fixings.
Only at Buffet Infinity.
Hey, you can come too,
Uncle Reg.
Help yourself to our creamy
oven-cooked mashed potatoes.
-Homemade giblets
with green beans.
Tasty vegetable pasta salad.
Made just the way Mom used to.
With little bits of bacon.
Vegetable and beef
noodle-style soup.
Made with the same recipe that
your mom would use
when you'd
have a cough or fever.
Imagine feeling that incredible relief
and comfort only a child can feel.
-When they're with their mom--
Afterwards, you'd be allowed to
return into your basement.
-We'd even supply you with--
...drinking water and a full
stock of red passions.
...berry marzipan pie.
Strawberry cream raspberry pie.
Chocolate cream pie.
Sprinkles. Dipped in chocolate.
Dipped in sprinkles.
And it wouldn't be Thanksgiving
without our
buttered corn on the cob.
We mean absolutely lam--
Things are getting weird
Things are getting scary
Things are getting
Out of hand
Things are getting hairy
I'm scared for the future
I'm scared for my family
Don't totally understand
Why I'm no longer sleeping
I'm getting pretty thin
I'm watching lots of TV
And it's tryna
Tell me stuff
I feel responsible and keep
Saying I could be the one
Hi, I'm Mosley Rosin.
And I'll be honest, I'm a bit
of a homebody.
I love being in my house,
relaxing,
hanging with friends.
But did you know that if you spend
too much time on your own property,
you could be
potentially sued
for squatting in
your own house?
Sounds unbelievable,
but it's true.
Personally, I think it's
something those fat cats
in City Council cooked up
just to dip their fingers
in our back pocket.
If you haven't left your house
in over two weeks,
you could
be liable for up to thousands
in unpaid homeowners
mobility enforcement funds.
So come on out and have a free
consultation
with me, Mosley Rosin, today.
We'll sit down, have a drink,
and just shoot the shit.
Beef brisket, Eggs Benedict.
Sirloin steak,
with your choice of eggs
and signature buffet omelets.
The country-style
fried eggs and steak.
Sirloin or Wagyu beef.
Breakfast tacos,
warmed up or al dente.
Breakfast Benny
with T-bone steak.
Our marvelous Mars-event
smashed potato fries.
Southwestern-style poutine.
Mild, medium, hot.
Or Mexican spicy.
Whoa!
You just caught me
playing my favorite card game,
Solitaire,
where it's, uh, best
played alone.
Uh, usually I'd be bothered if
there's nobody around
or there's no customers for the
last several weeks, but I'm fine.
It got me some time to catch up
on some of my
favorite hobbies.
Whoa, this is so great for you.
This feels great.
Come on down
To Ahmed's Pawn
We're still open if you
Wanna trade supplies
If you feel like vegging out
in front of the booth tube
that's okay too.
Televisions are 50% off.
And it comes with a complimentary
piece of jewelry.
Oh, this is crazy.
I'm getting boxed in.
Or am I?
And if you're not
coming to us...
Get a book of
Science fiction adventure
That's fascinating to read
Hmm, this book is great.
Complimentary
With the purchase
Of any item
Of personal security
Buy earplugs to
Block out any sounds
Also, with the
Purchase of a generator
Get two free DVDs
Come on down
To Ahmed's Pawn
We're still open
So come on down
-Everything here's
Good deals and
Shit, man, my bad.
...hide from the sounds
from outside,
would you believe it?
You miss your friends.
We're here.
And we're here together as one.
You scared?
It's scared of you.
It knows that you have pow--
Sounds like a bunch
of stupid bullshit
a wayward spirit
would come up with
to try to assimilate you
for dark purposes.
And even worse,
once they've
entered your body,
they can then accuse you
of psychic identity theft.
And where would that leave you?
-God only knows.
-Hey!
-Our minds are precious to us.
-Hey, hey!
And nobody knows that better
than Steve--
Hey, hey!
-Hey, hey!
-Our minds are precious to us.
-And nobody understands that
better than Steve-- -Hey.
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey, hey!
By registering
for my cognitive
-liability insurance
-Hey, hey!
through Steve Babbacock,
-you can put your mind at ease
-Hey!
-'cause you'll know your thoughts are secure
-Hey!
-and safe from trespassing
-Hey!
-spirits that don't belong.
-Hey, hey!
-Oh... Hey...
-Hey, hey, hey!
So I'm safe to focus on
what's important to me.
Like what I'm gonna have for
dinner tonight.
I'm thinking...
...stroganoff for one.
What the hell are you, man?
I am...
...something.
Can you please get out of my
employee and my store, please?
I will return this body once the
harvest of our minds has ended.
All things will be
as they once were,
-as soon as the final piece no--
One bite and everything will be
as it once was.
You will wake up as a child--
...you even doing
this for yourself?
...or are you
doing this for him?
A pretend version of yourself
that you created
to keep
your true desires in check.
Maybe it's time for him to feel
your suffering.
The one trying to slowly drown
you out of your own body.
I swear to you,
I have no interest
in stealing anyone's body.
I will be returning this body
once things are as they once were.
I just need to
use this as a v--
I appreciate you coming by, but
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Maybe what is
happening outside
isn't as bad as you think.
Maybe everyone...
And they've already woken up as
children...
And they're all playing...
There's something inside that
wants out. Whether it could be...
The choice has
already been made.
Grab a complimentary
DVD player.
I am not looking for a bargain,
-No, go find another business
-and I am not addressing you right now.
-that's currently open. Tell them about your message--
-We only have a few moments
before everything
is merged into her.
I don't even know who
you're talking about--
...meanor and kind heart,
Abigail June Hershey
was 11 years old
when she was lost
to one of
her father's experiments.
-No!
-An infinite return theory.
-Wait! No!
-A process involving--
It's always dangerous
till you figure out some--
From fraud to human sacrifice,
from murder t-- to other
allegations.
All pale in comparison
to the infinite
-torturing experience of his own daughter.
-That is not true!
I love my daughter more than
you could ever--
...understand!
There just wasn't
any way for me to know...
...what she was going to
turn herself into.
No...
Laid in the darkness, to watch
civilizations rise and fall.
Feel the pain of galaxies as they explode
from nothing, then wither back again.
Soon, all will know
we're suffering.
And everyone will feast!
Is it time for me to kill you
again already, Skinwalker?
I-- I don't--
Maybe I should wait for my
kingdom to reach
-the realms that you've bent.
I am no longer what I once was.
Well, I am
no longer a child.
You once promised
the darkness.
Please, please.
Please, stop!
For one who doesn't
believe in death,
it sure seems to follow...
...you around
quite often, Skinwalker.
Don't have to do this, Abigail.
There is no one here by
the name of Abigail.
There is a vessel
to eternal satisfaction.
Don't-- stop this, please!
In a menu that is
out of this world.
We can work together.
There is a grand name
-that swallows its vines.
-No, no!
It assures the
highest quality--
Dining experience.
-Death is not the end!
-Forever growing.
Forever expanded.
And for larger locations.
It's not a burger!
It's three slices of onions,
a pickle, mustard,
American cheese...
Here, the walls
You're building are maze
We're the ones that came
Here in your place
Just around any place
Is this even here?
On Earth
Tonight
Coming to the li-i-i-i-i
Come on out tonight
We've already been here
Now we want to be free
Come on out tonight
Gonna break out
Of this city
Come on out tonight
We've already been here
Now we want to be free
Come on out tonight
Gonna break out
Of this city
Why is local news
Lying to your face?
They're the ones who
Don't leave any trace
Destroying local business
But you could be right here
Come on out tonight
Come on out tonight
Everyone you know
Is already waiting
Come on out tonight
The grow-and-be-more
Is waiting
Come on out tonight
We're gonna wise up the
Jealous and lonely
Come on out tonight
Come on out tonight
They're trying to destroy
Local business
Come on out tonight
We're all waiting
Waiting for you