Burning Palms (2010) Movie Script
Welcome to Los Angeles International Airport.
This is
a nonsmoking facility.
We appreciate
your cooperation.
Are you sure the
flight wasn't delayed?
I just checked the screen.
Her plane landed 10 minutes ago.
May I have your attention, please?
Baby girl! Oh!
Welcome home.
It's so great
to see you.
Ah, I missed
you so much.
I missed you too.
Oh, baby,
this is Dedra.
Hi.
I've heard so
much about you.
How was
your flight?
Great. You know,
bad food.
Some creepy slob
sitting next to me
staring at my tits
the whole way.
Tits that
have grown.
I know, right?
Can you believe it?
I thought I was gonna
have to get implants.
Come on, let's
get out of here.
We Te gonna
have so much fun.
I have so many things
planned for you.
You got any bags?
Oh, yeah,
they're in the baggage.
So the bitch
tries to give me a B+.
Can you
believe that? Me?
I'm, like, "No fucking
way, you frigid twat.
I worked my ass
off on that paper."
That twat.
So, I go to two other department
teachers, and I have them review it
and they agree
it is an A paper
so I have the principal
step in, and she forces her
to change the grade.
Nice arbitration.
You still back
there, babe?
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, I'm
just listening.
Tell me something
about yourself, Dedra.
Tell you something
about myself? Um-
Too vague?
Okay, where are you from?
St. Louis.
Any siblings?
Four sisters.
Oh, God,
what a nightmare.
I'm so glad
I'm an only child.
I would hate to share
my dad with anybody.
Mmm...mwah.
Aw.
Hm.
God, traffic
in L.A. sucks.
Hm.
These are new.
Yeah. Come on.
Surprise. Close your eyes.
You're gonna love this.
You're gonna
love this.
There.
What do you think?
Wow!
Everything is
totally different.
I mean, D painted the
whole thing by herself.
Oh, gosh.
I was happy to hire
someone to do it
but she insisted.
I don't know how you did
it all by yourself.
Yeah.
Thanks, Dedra.
That's a
funny clown.
Yeah, we got you-
Cool.
...some dolls.
Let's go to the pier.
Now?
Yes. I wanna whip your
ass in air hockey.
Oh, you
wish, sucker.
We have
That's when
old people eat.
C?non, let's just
go to the pier.
D, can you call
the restaurant
and see if they can
take us at 8:00?
It was hard enough getting
the 7:00, but, um...
I don't care about eating
at some fancy restaurant.
Come on, the sun is shining.
Let's go have fun.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Great.
Come on, you ass-licking
pussy-whipped
son of a bitch.
Kiss my ass.
That cold weather back East
has impaired your game, kid.
Kiss your fanny?
I got game, fool.
I got mad game,
muthafucker.
Okay. Bring it.
ugh.
YOU lose!
How sad are
you right now?
Come on, D,
you're up.
Oh, no,
I don't play.
Don't be a peeper.
I'm really
bad at games.
It's really easy.
You just have to
slide the puck around
and get it
in the thing.
It's really easy.
Don't be a peeper, Dedra.
Come on.
See? I stink
at this.
What's with
the attitude?
You gotta believe
in yourself, kid.
Dream the
impossible dream.
Get in there.
Get your hands dirty.
Do it.
Oh!
Come on.
Ow!
All right!
Whoa! Nice!
WOO!
Ho, ho, ho.
Yikes.
Hey.
What just happened?
it's just a game.
I know. I told you.
I don't like that kind of stuff.
It's nothing
to get upset about.
It's just that, you know,
I want her to like me
and I can already tell
she thinks I'm a loser.
She does like you.
No.
D, stop.
We're gonna go to dinner.
We're gonna have a nice time.
She's gonna get to know you.
You're gonna get to know her.
It'll be great.
Yeah.
Oh, I am
so embarrassed.
Oh, gosh, she thinks
I'm such a baby.
Yeah, but
you're my baby.
Come on.
Let's hit it.
I am ready to eat.
I haven't had
a thing all day.
Do you like
sushi, Chloe?
Love it.
There's this great little place near
my school, it's not fancy like this
it's just like a cool little hole in
the wall, but the sushi is so good.
There's this
spicy tuna roll.
Oh, my God.
It's better than sex.
Yeah.
Hey, guys. I'm Lukas.
I'll be your
server tonight.
Can I get you started
with some drinks?
I'll have
an apple martini.
I'll have a vodka martini
straight up and very dirty.
Are you old enough?
To what?
Drink.
Don't worry,
I'm not planning
on operating
any heavy equipment.
Okay.
Sir, what can I get you?
I'll have the same as my
daughter, only not as dirty.
And one olive
will do just fine.
Right. I'll be back in just a
minute to take your order.
That was subtle.
Who taught you your
moves, Heidi Fleiss?
I credit you, actually.
Ah, touch.
I don't mean to sound like a prude, but aren't
you a little young to be drinking alcohol?
Oh, come on, one drink's
not gonna kill her.
She's 15.
I mean, My god,
I don't think I had my first drink
until I was a freshman in college.
I was 12.
What college
to did you to?
Oh, it was just a local junior
college, nothing special.
No, that's great.
I hear some of those can
actually be pretty decent.
My friend, her
sister went to SMC
and then she wound
up going to UCLA.
And she was like
a total retard.
Well, let's
see what you've got.
You've never
won a game.
Suck on that.
It's not fair.
And I get
to pick up-
Now-
Bang.
You're going
down tonight.
What do you got?
Dammit, I thought I had
a better hand.
God, I wish I
had your metabolism-
I'm pretty lucky.
I can pretty much
eat whatever I want
and never
gain any weight.
Really?
Wait till you hit your mid-20s.
I don't think
it will happen.
My mom was pretty slim
and my dad said she ate
like a horse. So...
How old were you?
I was one.
Oh, my God.
That's really young.
Yeah.
Pretty sad, I guess.
I don't know, it's hard to miss
something that you never really had.
I've seen
pictures of her.
I look like her,
a lot like her.
Your dad doesn't really
talk much about her.
He hasn't said much
to me, either.
Just said he loved her very
much and she was very beautiful
but always sad.
After she had me, I mean.
Something chemical.
She changed.
My Aunt Lilly said she
wouldn't even hold me.
She said she was
jealous of me.
She was jealous
of her own baby?
Yeah. Apparently, she was like madly in
love with my dad, and after she had me
she felt like my dad
loved me more than her
and she couldn't
take it, so...
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
She was determined,
that's for sure.
Dennis?
Anybody home?
Hey, are you guys up there?
Hi.
Hey,babe.
Hey, Dedra.
D?
You in there?
D!
D, unlock
the door, honey.
D!
What is going on?
Nothing.
Something? obviously wrong.
Jesus, D, what is
going on with you?
Oh, I guess it's totally normal
to find your future husband
and his topless teenage daughter
lying out completely naked
in full view of
the entire world.
We're not in full
view of anybody
and as far
as being topless
by God, I've seen
that girl naked
her entire life.
Big fucking deal.
I'm sorry I don't understand
the whole hippie thing
but, you know, most people would
find this situation a little weird.
Weird?
Yeah, weird.
You know, the touching each other
constantly and the sex talk.
Do you realize that
when we're out together
people think the two
of you are together?
- Well, that's ridiculous.
- Well, it's true.
Well, I'm not everybody,
and how dare you judge
my relationship with my daughter.
How dare you!
And I like the fact
that we're close.
I mean,
is that a crime?
Heavens no.
No, I'm just an uptight prude,
Dennis. It's totally normal.
You know what, I can't talk to you right now.
You're just jealous.
You are.
You can't stand the fact that
there's another woman in this house
and you aren't the center
of my attention 2417!
Oh, don't flatter
yourself, asshole.
Listen to me, because I am
not going to repeat this.
If we're gonna get married,
you'd better accept the fact
that Chloe is an important
part of my life
a very important part of my life
and I will
not choose sides!
I'm gonna go out
for a little while.
See you later.
Happy?
That girl has done
nothing to you-
Nothing.
Hey. Hey, I have something
to say to both of you.
Um...
I'm not-
God, I don't know how to
put this right, but-
I guess I can start
by saying I'm sorry.
I've been horrible.
it's just-
I feel so left out
of things, you know?
And I'm- I mean,
it's not your fault
and you're right, Dennis,
I've been jealous.
And it's totally wrong
and immature of me
but I've...
Chloe, I- I'm sorry,
I just really-
I've been really
scared that-
I've been really scared
that you hate me.
Oh, God.
No, I'm-
...all right.
Oh.
Oh, God, can you
say basket case?
Shit, I
totally forgot.
Hello.
Hi.
What up?
I'm going to go show Lukas
my stamp collection.
You kids be good.
Oh, God!
Do it!
Here.
Oh, Lukas is
deejaying tonight.
He said he could
get us on the list.
That guy's
a deejay, too?
My God,
he gets around.
So you'll come, right?
I don't know.
No, we were gonna see that new
Julia Roberts movie tonight.
A movie?
I'm leaving in three days.
Come on.
I might need some
adult supervision.
We'll see.
Could be fun.
Here. You do this.
You're smarter than me.
Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ, you scared me.
Can I borrow
your lipstick?
Yeah. Sure. Top drawer.
Wow.
You really
like bright colors.
Oh, most of
those are old.
I'm not really into
makeup these days.
I think the natural
look is better.
Yeah.
Well, thanks anyway.
No worries.
What are you
gonna wear tonight?
I don't know.
You should
wear tight jeans.
You have nice legs.
And you should
wear your hair up.
He likes that.
Okay.
Huh.
Thanks.
Anytime, Dedra.
Anytime.
What a tool.
Who? The surfer
waiter DJ?
Why is it that guys think that
just because you fuck them
that means you're like in
love with them or something?
Lots of girls
are like that.
Not me. Girls are
fucking stupid.
I'm 15 years old.
I'm not ready for a boyfriend yet.
Oh, my God,
I love this song!
We're dancing.
No, thanks.
No, I'm just- I'm not much
of a dancer.
Come on. You guys are so boring.
Come on, Dad.
Oh, go on, you two, go on.
I'll- I'll be fine.
I'll wait here.
You sure?
Yeah.
All right, I'll
be right back.
Everyone sits down,
I stand up
They might walk,
but I'm gonna strut
They fit in,
I stand out
Even if l have to shout
I know, I know,
I'm not the same
You say yes, and I say
Don't care
What they say
I do things differently
With all the clichs
I do things differently
l guess they don't get me
I do things differently
I do, I do, I do,
I do, I do!
With the song I'm gonna
wreck it literally
I'm gonna stand
In the picture
Perfect shadow
Of someone
l don't wanna be
I'm not sorry at all
But that's just
Me, me, me, me
You keep it
Neat and tidy
How's it going?
Fine. Thanks.
Can I buy
you a drink?
I know, I know
I'm not the same
You say yes
And I say
No, no, no
Don't care what they say
I do things differently
Yeah.
With all the clichs
Sure.
I do things differently J7
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
What does it look like I'm doing, Dennis?
I'm dancing.
Who's this?
I'm her fianc.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, it's okay.
it's okay.
We were just having
a little fun, right?
Go on, Dennis.
Go back to your precious little girl.
You're a real fucking
piece of work.
You know that, D?
It's okay.
Come on.
I'm about to come.
Oh, Shit!
I don't feel well.
I don't-
I'm starving, babe.
I know. I'm sorry.
I just can't decide between
the grilled salmon
or the veggie-wrap.
Get the salmon.
It's brain food.
Okay.
Ready?
I'm ready to
eat this whole table.
I'll have the chimichangas
with extra guac on the side
and I'll pay extra.
I don't care.
Nah, I'll throw it in there.
Just don't tell anybody.
Great, thanks.
And you, hon?
I'll have
a salmon.
And can I have the
grilled vegetables
instead of the
mashed potatoes?
I don't see
why not. Okay.
Thank you
very, very much.
I like her.
Mm-hm.
I think she's new.
Her breasts
are so big.
Are they?
I feel bad for her.
She's gonna have lots
of lower back problems
when she's older.
Yes, Dr. Chen.
It's true.
Hey, babe,
what's up?
Nothing.
I don't know.
Do you like-
I mean, do you find girls with
large breasts attractive?
Well, I guess.
It depends.
On what?
On the girl, right?
But Cheryl had
big breasts, right?
Yeah, they were
a couple of handfuls.
Hey, babe,
I like your body.
They're not very big.
I don't care.
You have a really nice chest.
Sometimes I think about
getting a boob job
but it's just
so superficial.
Well, I guess some
guys like them.
Otherwise, why would
women bother, right?
I don't think it's
just about men.
Some girls just want larger
breasts for themselves.
Not everything a girl does
is just to impress a man.
Okay, babe.
Don't bite my head off about it.
Sorry.
That's okay.
I like when you get
all feminist and shit.
Oh, baby, does
that feel good?
Uh-huh!
Excuse me?
Really?
Yeah.
Did you do it?
No way.
Ew, Tammy Lynn.
Well, lots of guys like
that sort of thing.
Get out.
No, really.
Have you ever...?
Sure.
Seriously?
Uh-huh.
It just seems so-
dirty.
Hey.
What are you doing?
I was just in the hall.
I ran to get the phone.
Oh, okay.
L- l was just
calling to see
if you were still gonna come
over tonight after work.
Well, you know, I'm just
gonna chill at home tonight.
Jackson 's coming over.
We Te gonna drink some beers,
play some Xbox.
Is that cool?
Oh, um...
Yeah, of course
that's fine.
Tell him I said hi.
Okay. I'll talk
to you tomorrow.
Okay. Bye.
Bye.
You've been
kind of quiet.
I am?
I'm sorry.
I guess I'm just a little tired.
We'll make it
a chill night.
We'll rent one of your chick
flicks and cuddle on the couch.
Let's go
to a bar.
Really?
You want to
go to a bar.
I go to bars sometimes.
Not with me,
you haven't.
Wen, maybe
you don't know me as
well as you think you do
mister smartypants.
Let's say I want it
Let's say l want
What's over there
Let's say I know it
Let's say I've
know it anywhere
'Cause there 's
just some things
You know what's not
and what is
It's just like honey
And when you get
a taste of it
So baby, what I know
There 's no stop
'cause you are go
No way l can tame it
But baby, I can name it
You're so pony, so
very, very pony, pony
You Te so pony,
so very, so very pony
You ain't no one-trick
You Te more like
the triple crown
You ain't no one-
Wait.
Wait. Stop.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
I just really like you.
Oh, yeah,
me too.
You know that thing you asked
me to do the other night?
Yeah.
Do you still want
me to do it?
I don't want you
to do anything
that you're not
comfortable with.
I know.
So?
So do you still
want me to do it?
Wen, yeah.
It's lower.
Okay.
Lower.
Oh, baby.
That's it.
Oh, yeah.
That's it, babe.
Babe.
Yeah?
What are you doing?
Nothing.
Well, come back to bed.
Okay. Be there
in a sec.
All of these
are peripheral neuropathies
and the term
Charcot-Marie Tooth
is a term that was coined
by the three French physicians
earlier in the century
to identify the syndrome.
Now, all of these, as I said,
are peripheral neuropathies
which affect the nerves-
Hi.
Hey, babe,
what 's cooking?
Nothing. I'm
just shopping.
Oh, yeah? Nice.
I made reservations
at our favorite
so I'll pick you up
at 8:00, okay?
Okay. Sure. It
sounds great, hon.
By the way, I had
fun last night.
Maybe we can
do it again.
See you tonight.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Oh, you like
soap, huh?
No, I don't want
to buy all these.
I just need to know
which one works best.
Best for what?
For your hands.
Well, it depends on what
you want to wash off.
This one is good
for oil and grease.
And this one has
ammonium chloride
It 's strong
but it has a tendency
toward drying.
I need one that can
get out odors.
Like cigarettes?
No.
Is it a feminine need?
No.
It's-
it's for a, uh-
...a fecal odor.
Fecal?
You know-poop.
You got poop
on your hands.
Listen... Ned
I really don't want to get
into this right now, okay?
No, I understand.
I understand totally.
It's none of my beeswax.
Which one's best?
Oh, for that,
anything will do.
Common household soap
should do the trick.
No. No. You don't-
don't understand.
I've tried all that.
Nothing is working.
I just need a really
strong odor-removing soap.
Okay. All right. Okay.
Okay, try this one.
Wait! Your change is...
Stupid...
Get off.
It's gotta work.
It's gotta work.
Why? Why?
Why is this
happening to me?
Hey,babe.
Whoa. Did you put on
the whole bottle?
It's a little
strong at first.
Yeah, no kidding.
Well, here.
Oh, they're
so beautiful.
You going for a little
Michael Jackson thing?
My-my hand got cold.
Just your one hand?
I'm going to put these
in water, and we'll go.
Okay.
I am freaking starving.
Ground control
to Major Ginny.
Do you read me?
What?
Where are you tonight?
You seem all spacey, babe.
I'm sorry.
I've been
a little preoccupied.
School stuff.
Well, don't let the
man get you down.
What?
Oh, nothing.
I'm just looking.
For what?
Seeing if they seated us
next to the bathrooms
or something.
Bathrooms?
Yeah.
I keep smelling shit.
I- I-I Can't.
Ginny.
Hey, stop!
Sorry.
I know what you did.
I know what you did.
Now, this is
an unbelievable value, people.
Amazing. Pure gold
and titanium.
You know, a lot of
other watches out there-
...are made in places
like China and Taiwan.
They are mass produced,
which means the quality
just isn't there.
Hi.
I can 'I get to the phone right now
but if you leave a message,
I promise to get back to you.
Thank you.
Why
you don't call Father back?
Call us back.
We very worried.
Ginny!
Ginny, it's me, babe.
Open up.
Me and Tammy are here.
We're worried about you. Let us in.
Come on,
sweetie-pie, open up.
Open the door.
We don't know what's going on with you
but whatever it is,
you know we can help.
We're not leaving till
you open this door.
Ginny-
Ginny, babe,
what? going on?
Everyone is
so worried about you.
Your parents called me.
Professor Carlton
asked about you, too.
Let us in so
we can help you.
It can't be
that bad.
Nothing works.
What doesn't
work, honey?
Nothing.
I keep-
l keep washing
and I keep scrubbing.
It won't go away.
Why won't it go away?
What, babe? What won't go away?
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
it doesn't matter.
It doesn't fucking matter!
It doesn't matter!
Do something!
No!
No!
Hold her.
Ginny, do you know
why you are here?
Why is that?
Everybody thinks
I'm crazy.
Do you think
you're crazy?
Is that a yes?
I don't know.
I Can Smell it...
all the time
but they keep telling
me it's not there.
You mean the-
Poop.
Yes,
the poop, as you say.
And how did the poop
get on your finger?
Chad.
He made me
do it during sex.
Do what?
Put my finger
up his butt.
I don't know what
she's talking about.
She is not making
sense right now.
Stop it! Stop-
Are you crazy?
Oh, my God.
Check the north corridor.
Ginny.
Psst.
Over here.
It's me.
Jesus-
Listen.
There isn't much time.
They'll never believe you.
But it won't go away.
Sin never does.
There 's only one thing
you can do.
You know what
must be done.
Go. Go now, my child.
No! No, stop!
She's right in here.
Here you go.
Hi, sweetie.
How you
doing today?
I brought you some
things you might like.
It's just some fun reading
while you're here.
Well, you making any
friends around here?
Cheater!
Oh, my Lord!
Oh, my Lord.
Well, better hit it.
Got a hair appointment.
Carl's taking me to some
fancy-schmantzy place in Malibu.
You take care
now, okay?
Bye, sweetie.
Bye.
Okay, I'm ready.
Liza?
How about Anastasia?
Mm. Too Russian.
How about Claire? Huh?
Claires are always nice.
No, they 're
too Anglo, Tom.
We need to go a little
more, you know, ethnic.
Ethnic. Like what?
Like-
You asshole.
I'm trying
to concentrate here.
Okay, I'm sorry.
You know I hate it
when you do that, Geri.
B.F.D., Tom.
Just start again.
G- er...
Stinky hairy pussy.
Stinky hairy pussy.
Stinky hairy pussy.
Stinky hairy pussy-
Ger.
In here, Tom.
It's almost 2:00, Geri,
we gotta get going.
She's going to be there
in less than an hour.
Okay, I'm coming.
Okay, Blanche.
Take a fucking Xanax, Tom.
It would be nice if you could
help a little around here.
Oh, yeah?
And do what?
Lick the floors?
What's that?
A mojito.
You're just drinking
on a weekday afternoon?
Mm-hm.
Uh-huh, no.
I don't think that's the
kind of first impression
we need to be
making here, Ger.
She's here?
She's here.
Come in-please.
I'm- Oh, I'm Tom.
Sorry, I-
This is my life
partner, Geri.
Hi.
Uh, um... can we get you
anything to drink or...?
Money.
Right.
Why beat around
the bush? Okay.
There you go.
Good.
Papers.
Right.
Questions?
What about an
instruction manual?
It's-no, we're fine.
Go.
Ciao.
Oh-
Hi, sweetie.
I'm Tom
and this is Geri
and we're-
your daddies.
Oh, God, that
sounds so weird.
- Ger.
- Hmm?
Try a little, please.
Okay.
Hi.
Do you have
a name, honey?
Good...
because we already
picked one for you.
You...
Mahogany.
Isn't it nice?
Do you like it?
I think I'll
put some music on.
isn't it fabulous?
What is she doing?
She's just
sitting there.
What's wrong with her?
There's nothing wrong
with her, Ger.
She's getting adjusted.
Shh.
We should get
her out of the house.
It might
break the ice.
Where should
we take her?
Fabulous
Mahogany?
Is everything all right
in there, sweetie?
Ger.
Oh, my God, look.
Is- Is that
your daughter?
Yes.
Oh.
We just got
her today.
Congratulations.
Rose came into our
lives six months ago
and I cannot tell
you how rewarding
the whole
experience has been.
She is enriched
both of our lives.
Oh, that's wonderful.
We're very excited.
Aren't we, hon?
Yeah, yeah,
of course.
I'm Tom, and
this is Geri.
I'm Steve, and this
is my husband Paulo.
Ciao.
Oh, Italiano?
Si.
Molto bene.
Okay- And this
is little Mahogany.
Say hello to Steve
and Paulo, sweetie.
Hi, honey.
This is ROSS.
Very pleased to make
your acquaintance.
Why, isn't she
the chic little one.
She speaks
three languages
and plays the violin
like you wouldn't believe.
And she just
came like that?
Well, we're having
a little get-together
at our house
tomorrow afternoon.
Why don't the two of you come
and bring little Rose?
We're going to
have a clown.
And it's catered.
Oh, well, thank you.
Uh, we have some stuff
to do tomorrow
but we would
love to drop by.
Please do.
It was nice meeting
you all. Bye-bye.
Now we have
to get a clown.
Mahogany?
Sweetie, aren't
you hungry?
Why doesn't she
say anything?
Can't she speak English,
for Christ's sake?
Don't talk about her like
she's not in the room.
Well, she might
as well not be.
She understands us.
She's just a little shy.
Mahogany.
What's my name?
Me.
What's my name?
Looks like we
got a lemon.
Geri, how dare you.
"She speaks
three different languages
and she plays
the violin."
Huh? Huh?
Oh, hi, and this is
our daughter Mahogany.
She doesn't say
or do anything.
Come on, sweetie.
It's time for bed.
You and I are going to have
a little chit-chat later.
Super, Tom.
Living for it.
"And even though
her real mommy and daddy
"didn't want her
"the special little girl knew
that her new parents
"were ever so happy to have
her in their lives.
The end."
Did you like that?
Okay.
First day.
Things'll get better.
Boop.
I'm not speaking
to you, remember?
Uh-oh. Is that
contagious?
Why can't you give
it a chance?
I am.
No, you're not.
You're being an ass.
I'm sorry.
I guess I'm just not used
to the whole thing yet.
Well, neither
am I, Ger
but I'm going
to give it a try.
Well, then
I will too.
Okay.
Mmm.
Mm! Mm!
Ger, wait,
wait, wait.
What about...?
Who cares?
She's asleep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh. Oh, ah.
Ah, yeah.
Oh, yes, Tom.
Yeah, fuck me.
Oh, fuck my hole.
Shh. Shh.
She's gonna hear you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Come on.
Oh.
Fuck it good!
What's wrong?
I'm not gonna do it if you're
gonna keep yelling like that.
Okay, fine.
Why don't we just
stop having sex, too?
What was that?
Mahogany!
Mahogany!
Mahogany?
Ma- Oh my God,
is she in the pool?
Mahogany?
Mahogany!
Oh. Oh, my God.
What on earth are you
doing out here?
There. Comfy cozy.
Now, Mahogany
we don't go outside unless
there's an adult to supervise.
You sleep here.
In your nice bed
with your pretty
Ralph Lauren sheets
that we bought special
just for you.
Okay?
Okay, Daddy.
Maybe later you can come
and finger-fuck me.
Geri, that's disgusting.
Don't even joke
about that.
You know those people
at Child Services
would love any excuse to
take our Mahogany from us.
I've heard stories about
them watching gay couples.
Spying on them, tapping
their phone lines.
Oh, so now the house is bugged.
You never know.
We would never
finger-fuck Mahogany.
We love
our mute black child.
- Get out.
- What?
I've had enough.
Get out now.
Fine.
You'll have
to excuse Geri.
He was raised
in a cynical, loveless
low-income home
in New Jersey.
Anyway, you need
to get some sleep.
You've got a big day
ahead of you.
No outside, Mahogany.
Stay.
Stay.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
I didn't know
what to get.
So where is the little
rug rat anyway?
Where's Mahogany?
- What?
- Hi.
Where's Mahogany?
I don't know.
Chuckles is going to leave
in, like, 10 minutes.
Who the hell
is Chuckles?
The clown, Ger.
Eww. Creepy.
Come on.
What?
Help me find her.
This is unacceptable
behavior, Mahogany.
You're gonna have
to learn to be social
if you want to fit
into this world.
Mahogany, it? fun.
Look at the other
children, okay?
Take your cues off of them.
Sit in the chair.
Daddy, daddy, look at
the cute possum.
Oh, my God!
Jesus Christ.
Needless to say,
the party was ruined.
I doubt we'll ever see any
of those people again.
I thought it
was kind of cool.
I mean, she was like,
Shaka fucking Zulu.
Ger.
Gen calm down.
Get serious here.
Do you know anything about
Mahogany's family upbringing?
Not really.
She's from some remote part
of Africa or something.
Yeah, and she
doesn't speak. Ever.
It's been two weeks, and she
hasn't said a single word.
Well, that's actually fairly
common for a child from
an emotionally
malnourished environment.
It's going to take time
for you to gain her trust.
How long?
Oh, l don't know, really.
I mean, it could be
weeks, months
even in some
cases years.
Years? Well,
that's bullshit.
We didn't spend
over $15,000
on an African mute
with a penchant
for exterminating
small feral animals.
Ger, calm down.
You're hurting
Mahogany's feelings.
Hell0?
Hey, it's me.
How's it going?
It's going, I guess.
How? Mahogany?
Oh, she's fine.
She's hiding in her
fucking bushes, as usual.
Maybe you two could go
to the park or something?
And watch her stone one
of the kids to death?
Pass.
Come on, Ger.
Dr. Shelley said to get
her out of the house
as much as possible.
Quality time is
so important.
Okay, fine, Tom.
Stop badgering me.
I wasn't badgering you.
Okay, fine. We're going. Later.
Hey.
Hey, what are
you doing?
Oh, really?
Dude, you're
making me hard.
Right now?
No, no, l can't.
No, I've got the kid, and-
You would?
Okay.
Okay, 20 minutes.
Mahogany!
? Hey, baby?
? It's gonna be all right?
? Hey, baby,
gonna love you all night?
? All night long?
? I'm going to sing
this song?
Faggot!
Breeder!
? I need to see the sun?
? Love 's in your eyes?
? The love we share?
? it turns me upside down?
Mahogany, sweetie.
I'm going to go on inside
for a little while
and you are going to stay
right here.
Okay?
Hey, hon.
Oh, hi.
Hi. How was
your day?
Fine, thanks.
Where's Mahogany?
I don't know
what's wrong with her.
She's cracked
out of her mind.
That's what's
wrong with her.
You gave our
daughter crystal meth.
How in the hell did she get
her hands on narcotics?
Tell me.
I don't know.
You tell me.
I had a little
in my car, okay?
Big fucking deal.
You've done it before, too.
I didn't give it to
a 7-year-old child.
At the park?
Where did you go?
The park.
I don't buy it.
Well, I ain't
sellin' anything.
Let me smell it.
Fuck Off.
You are not
smelling my cock.
Let me smell it, Ger.
Let me smell it!
Faggot.
Did she just say what
I think she said?
Faggot. Faggot.
Faggot. Faggot.
Okay. You should have
everything you need here-
bottles of water
first-aid kit
crackers.
Oh, and PowerBars
which should last
you quite a while.
So... be careful.
And stay away from
those mountain lions.
I heard they're nasty.
Okay.
All right.
Liza. Liza.
Come on, Liza.
Liza.
Oh, Liza.
Crow to catfish, crow to catfish.
Do you copy?
Come on, guys. I'm
not playing anymore.
I'm not playing anymore.
You caught me.
The game isn't
over yet, Abdul.
My name isn't Abdul.
it's Jeffrey.
Your name is Abdul.
You Te an
al-Qaeda operative
with plans to commit
heinous acts of terrorism.
And you must be killed.
No.
SpongeBob's gonna show
you how he guts a fish.
I can't do it.
Look over there.
See what happens
when you run?
Oh, stop crying,
you big baby.
What should we
do with him?
The old tree.
Jeffrey!
Jeffrey, your
mother is here!
What a coward.
Oh, there's Mommy.
What happened?
They tried
hanging me from a tree.
Aw, they were just playing
hide and go seek.
Hide and go seek?
Yeah.
Look at him.
He's shaking.
Aw.
Where are
their parents?
Oh, they're
out of town.
- Again?
- Yeah.
I want the number
for their hotel.
This is ridiculous.
I'm so sorry.
I don't- I don't think
I have their number.
What kind of parents
don't leave a number
where they can
be reached?
Well, tell them they can expect
a call from my attorney.
Uh, okay.
All right.
Well, thanks so
much for coming.
Bye.
I love your jeans.
Did his mom get mad?
Of course.
She fucking freaked.
She's going to call
her lawyers. Enjoy that.
Big deal.
Oh, check it out.
I'm going to be having
some company here tonight.
So I'm going to need
you guys to fuck off
like good little Children.
Okay? Dig?
Right.
All right.
Did you wanna kill this?
All right I'll fucking kill it.
Louisa.
Hm?
What is she doing?
Praying to her
dead baby.
What's in her hand?
The umbilical cord.
Why does she
keep it?
I don't know.
I guess it is all
that she has left.
I think it's gross.
Me 100.
Jezebel, shut
the fuck up!
I fucking
hate that bird.
Why aren't you
dressed for school?
We don't have
school today.
What?
It's Martin
Luther King Day.
Oh. Hey, that was,
like, a month ago.
Part Two.
Fine. Don't
go to school.
Grow up stupid. See
if I fucking care.
I don't speak
your language, maid.
Stop laughing.
I said stop laughing,
you fucking bitch!
What?
I just realized that you've
been going to see Dr. Shelley
for like a year-
and I don't
know why.
Why do people
climb Everest?
To prove
something useless
to no one in
particular, obviously.
Wrong. Because
it's there.
Oh, my Gad. I've never
heard that one.
Be cynical, if that gets you
through the day, Mary Jane.
Ugh, you're
so annoying.
Nicholas.
When they leave, how
does that make you feel?
How come you never have me
lay down on the chair?
I've told you before,
I only use the chair
when I'm engaging clients
in free association.
Have you ever had sex
on the chair?
When they leave, how
does that make you feel?
I bet you want to
have sex on the chain
Nicholas.
Your accent is fake,
isn't it?
Don't you realize I can see
through this whole show?
You're wasting
our time together.
You may as well not
even come here at all.
I had a dream
about them.
They were on
a beach somewhere
near the French
Riviera, I think.
They seemed happy.
Then I rose out
of the ocean
like the great kraken
from ancient Greek mythology.
I plucked them
from their beach chairs
and I ripped
their limbs off
like- like they were
little insects.
They were screaming
and begging for mercy
but that only made me angrier.
So I crushed their heads
between my fingers.
And then...
I ate them.
Okay.
Right. Right.
We've quite a bit of work
to do on you, don't we?
What's wrong
with her?
The umbilical
cord is gone.
You mean that nasty thing
she keeps in there?
Who'd want
to take that?
You!
What?
Yes, you.
You take it.
Are you crazy?
You are the devil.
Hey. Hey.
What the fuck is all
the screaming about?
What's wrong with her?
Somebody stole her
baby's umbilical cord.
Who- her what?
She keeps it
in her jewelry box.
She kisses it
when she prays.
Am I tripping
on acid right now
or are we talking about a
stolen fucking umbilical cord?
She thinks
I took it.
Who cares?
It's unsanitary
keeping shit like
that in a house.
Louisa, please tell
her to get over it.
That's what photos are for.
Jesus Christ.
She is crazy. She
should be committed.
But she's not lying. It is gone.
That means somebody in this
house stole it, right?
True.
- Gracias.
- I know.
We put everyone
who could've taken
the umbilical cord
on the stand.
It'll be just
like Court TV.
Only real.
I'll be the judge.
Trevor, you can be
the court reporter.
And Colby, you'll
be the bailiff.
What's a bailiff?
He's the one
with the gun-
Cool.
Colby
you may show the suspects
to the courtroom.
Be seated.
As you all know, a crime
was committed yesterday
theft, to be precise.
The item in question
is one umbilical cord
belonging
to Miss Blanca Juarez
and her deceased son,
Fernando Guadalupe Juarez.
Order!
There will be
no outbursts of emotion
in this courtroom.
Thank you.
Now, all of the possible
suspects are in this room.
And by the end
of this inquisition
we shall hopefully
get to the bottom
of this heinous act.
I shall now call on
our first suspect, Tak.
Though you work
outside the house
it is not fair
to rule you out
as a possible suspect
and it is entirely possible
that you may harbor
secret reasons
for stealing
the umbilical cord.
Perhaps, a scorned love?
He doesn't speak
English, shitbird.
Well, can anyone translate?
Oh, yeah, actually, I can.
Ni-hah, ching,
ching, ching, ching
zing, zing, zing,
Szechuan Palace.
He didn't take it.
Tak, you're excused
from the court.
Miss Alvarez.
Where were you between
the hours of 8:00 a.m.
and 9:00 p.m. yesterday?
Here in the house.
And what is
your occupation?
I am the housekeeper.
What does that entail?
Oh, my God, don't be
an asshole, Nicholas.
Just get to the fucking point.
We all know what she does.
Fine. Louisa, did you
take the umbilical cord?
No.
Why not?
What would I
do with it?
That will be all.
Save the speech.
Did I take it? NO.
I wouldn't even touch
anything that disgusting.
And for the record,
I don't get it.
Like, what, your mom dies
or, like, your cat
and you hack
its foot off
and put it in a shoebox
as a keepsake?
I don't think so.
Okay, now that that's
out of the way
there's only
one person left.
Why is she here?
She can't steal what
is belonging to her.
Can 't doesn't exist
in a court of law
until proven so, Louisa-
I call Blanca Juarez
to the stand.
Miss Juarez,
how did your baby die?
Nicholas-
This is a vital part
of my interrogation.
Please answer
the question.
Um, I watching
the baby.
And the hair-
the hair...
Como se llama
the hair-?
Hair dryer?
Yes.
It fall into the water
and I tried
to grab it.
I scream
but nobody come.
And I couldn't
do anything.
That's a very sad
story, Miss Juarez.
Yes.
I just have to ask you
one more very
important question.
Okay.
Did you murder your baby?
What?
All right.
Game over, Nicholas.
I even draw
the line somewhere.
She did. I swear.
Look.
These are from her
boyfriend in El Salvador
the baby's father.
He was cheating on her.
Hey hey hey hey hey.
Where did you
get those?
In your room.
I was just going to borrow
the umbilical cord.
You stole it?
Borrowed. Just
to piss her off
Then I found the letters-
You killed your baby!
No!
- You were jealous.
- No.
You wanted to punish
your boyfriend.
You wanted to take away the
one thing he really loved
because he
didn't love you.
So you put your baby
in the bathtub
and threw the hair
dryer into it.
You electrocuted
him to death.
You killed your baby.
Didn't you?
Didn't you?
Ah, yes. S!
S. S. S. S. S.
Okay.
Ay, caramba.
Fuck me.
Blanca?
What's the number again?
For 911?
Can I speak
to a human, please?
You guys!
Guys, go see what
he's shouting about.
Are they going to
give her the chair?
Just-I don't know.
Can you go-
to the- brother?
What?
Guess it's time
to get a new maid.
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
J Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
? Dashing through the snow?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
? O'er the fields we go?
? Laughing all the way?
? Bells on bobtail ring?
? Making spirits bright?
? What fun it is to laugh?
? And sing our
sleighing song tonight?
? Oh, jingle bells,
jingle bells?
Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
? A day or two ago?
? I thought
I 'd take a ride?
? And soon
Miss Fannie Bright?
? Was seated by my side?
? The horse
was lean and lank?
? Misfortune seemed his lot?
? We got into
a drifted bank?
? And then we got upsot?
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
Hello?
Yes, this is
Sara Cotton.
No, I don't read
the paper.
No, thank you.
U Damn?
? I wish
I was your lover?
? I'd rock you
till the daylight comes?
? Make sure you are
smiling and warm?
? I am everything?
? Tonight I'll be
your mother, I'll do-?
Robert.
Robert Kane.
Robert Kane.
Robert.
Did a customer
leave that behind?
No.
I found it this morning.
On the sidewalk.
Well, that's a
stroke of bad luck.
Ah, it's
already 2:00.
Look, Sarah, you better
take your lunch now.
We have three boxes in
the back left to unpack.
I want those done
before five.
You are going to return
that, aren't you?
Yes.
Well, it's a form
of theft, you know.
Keeping something that
doesn't belong to you.
I'm going to go
to the post office
and I'm going to mail it to the
address that's on the license.
Good girl.
I'll be back by 3.
Okay.
Yeah, what?
Is Robert here?
What do you
want with him?
I'm a friend
of his.
A friend?
Yes. Is he here?
No, he's at work.
I seem to have forgotten
where that is.
Solly's Pizza
over on Lankershim.
On Lankershim,
that's right.
How do you
know my son?
Car trouble.
I had a flat.
He helped me
Out with it.
I just wanted
to thank him again.
Well, that's grand.
Maybe you can ask him to help
his mother pay the rent.
I won't take any more of your time.
Thank you.
Well, who shall
I say stopped by?
Do you want
this for here?
Lady.
Here?
Uh, yes. Yes, I'll have
it for here. Thank you.
De nada.
Fucking traffic.
They didn't
tip me shit.
Hey, at least
you get a tip-
Yeah, well,
barely anything.
Hey, what's the matter,
Puto? You sick?
No, I'm fine.
Go get a mop.
Why? Why me?
Because I'm busy.
Go get a mop.
Sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I'm such a klutz.
You look familiar.
You wouldn't happen to be
Robert Kane, would you?
I guess not.
You just look
like this guy
who accidentally
left his wallet
at my house
last night.
I've been meaning
to return it.
I'm just having a hard
time tracking him down.
I went by his house-
What do you want?
Look, I don't know you, lady
so you should probably
just leave, okay?
You don't know me?
What the fuck
do you want, huh?
I just want to
return your wallet.
Then do it.
Not here.
Do you like pizza?
Of course you do.
You work around pizzas
all day, so you must.
There 's a Shakey's
near my house-
A block away.
Meet me there
at 8:30.
Do you remember
where I live?
Well, I'm
late for work.
I have to go.
Goodbye.
Thank you.
You're not hungry?
I'm famished.
I usually eat
like around six.
Six-thirty the latest.
I like coming here.
The food is good,
the people are nice.
I usually come here
on Thursdays.
They have the
free salad bar.
Otherwise, I just
eat at home.
Sandwiches, mostly.
I like to watch TV
while I'm eating.
I like to watch,
um, you know
Access Hollywood and
Entertainment Tonight.
I don't watch
the news, though.
It's sad, so it just
depresses me.
I just wait
for the weather report.
That way I just know whether it's
going to be an S day or a T day.
What is that, S day?
A sweater or
a T-shirt day.
Do you want a bite?
No, thanks.
It's not good anyway today.
It's too much dressing.
It makes everything
soggy and icky.
I think the new people that
they have working here
are not that motivated,
if you know what I mean?
So, Robert.
Do you go
by a nickname?
Or just plain Robert?
My dad used
to call me Bucky
but that was
before I had braces.
My friends just call me
Rob, I guess.
Hmm.
Your friends
call you Rob.
I like that.
I like Robert better.
I don't know.
it's more-
It's more masculine.
More dignified.
It's kind of like
Robert Redford.
You know, he doesn't
go by Bobby Redford.
I've seen him on TV.
I haven't seen him-
Sarah.
I know. I know.
I'm talking too much.
I'm sorry.
I'm nervous. I-
It's okay.
Uh, I just have to get
to work early tomorrow.
Do pizza places open
early in the morning?
It's funny. You never think
about things like that.
You know?
But maybe,
I don't know.
Maybe people like pizza
in the morning.
Do you like pizza
in the morning, Robert?
This has all
been really nice.
Okay? All this.
But I need my stuff.
Your stuff?
Yeah, my stuff.
My wallet.
Remember?
Oh. Your wallet.
Yes. My wallet. Remember?
Okay.
I don't have it.
What?
No. I mean I don't
have it here with me.
It's back at my house.
I- I thought that if-
if dinner went well
maybe you wanted to come by
and spend some time.
Just a little bit.
We can play a game.
Do you like Uno?
We don't have
to play Uno.
It gets boring, anyway.
I have Jenga, too.
But that's a game
that scares me.
I'm always the one
to drop all the pieces.
Lady, what- what
is- what is this?
Why are you doing this?
Doing what?
This. What is it?
Look, do you want me to apologize?
Do you have some fucking
guys at your place
waiting to do something
to me, is that it?
You mean hurt you?
Oh, my gosh.
What then? Huh?
I just wanted to spend some
time with you, that's all.
I don't know.
I'm just really confused right now.
I can't even tell you
how confused I am.
Do you want to leave?
Let's leave. We're not
having any fun here.
It's funny, I know.
People usually go
Dutch on a first date
but I'm a little
old-fashioned.
Thank you, kind sir.
You ready?
I won.
I'm sorry.
It's not nice to laugh
at another person's
misfortune.
Well, that's it.
The game's over, I guess.
I know.
It was fun, huh?
Is that your girlfriend?
Who?
Your phone
keeps ringing.
I thought it was
your girlfriend.
I don't have
a girlfriend.
I bet she's
really pretty.
You know, long legs
and beautiful hair
just like on TV.
I just said I don't
have a girlfriend.
Really?
Why not?
I bet girls would
love to date you.
Maybe you're not
understanding me.
But I have
to go, okay?
So give me
the wallet.
Do you want to play
another game?
My wallet, please.
Why don't we
watch a movie?
I have
The Little Mermaid on DVD.
- Give me the wallet.
- Too girlie, right?
What about Big?
Give me the
fucking wallet!
I'm not gonna-
I'm not gonna
hurt you.
I just want my shit.
And, and I can go.
Thanks.
Excuse me.
Great.
? Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
Where is it?
Huh?
Look, I don't
know what kind
of fucked-up headcase
you are.
I don't really give a shit.
I just want my license back.
Give it to me.
Give it to me!
You think this is
fucking funny?
Huh? You fucking crazy bitch.
What is it?
No! No!
What is that?
What do you want
from me, huh?
What do you want?
I want you to do
it again.
What?
That's- that's sick.
That is Sick.
Don't say that.
Do it please.
Please rape me.
Please don't-
No. No.
No, come on, please.
Please! Rape me!
Hurt me! Hurt me!
Hurt me. Yes. Yes!
You want me
to fuck you?
Yes!
Fucking-Fucking
crazy bitch!
Is this what you
want, huh?
Yes.
Fuck you.
What are you doing?
You can't stop.
You can't leave!
Get the fuck off me!
Don't leave!
Please don't leave.
What the-
Please stay. Please stay.
Please don't leave me!
You crazy bitch!
Get off of me!
Don't leave me!
Don't go!
Get off of me!
Don't leave me!
Get back!
Don't go.
I would hate to
share my dad with anybody.
I keep washing.
it won't go away.
She is cracked
out of her mind.
That's what's
wrong with her.
You gave our daughter
crystal meth.
You killed your baby.
Didn't you?
Didn't you?
Give me the
fucking wallet!
Rape me!
This is
a nonsmoking facility.
We appreciate
your cooperation.
Are you sure the
flight wasn't delayed?
I just checked the screen.
Her plane landed 10 minutes ago.
May I have your attention, please?
Baby girl! Oh!
Welcome home.
It's so great
to see you.
Ah, I missed
you so much.
I missed you too.
Oh, baby,
this is Dedra.
Hi.
I've heard so
much about you.
How was
your flight?
Great. You know,
bad food.
Some creepy slob
sitting next to me
staring at my tits
the whole way.
Tits that
have grown.
I know, right?
Can you believe it?
I thought I was gonna
have to get implants.
Come on, let's
get out of here.
We Te gonna
have so much fun.
I have so many things
planned for you.
You got any bags?
Oh, yeah,
they're in the baggage.
So the bitch
tries to give me a B+.
Can you
believe that? Me?
I'm, like, "No fucking
way, you frigid twat.
I worked my ass
off on that paper."
That twat.
So, I go to two other department
teachers, and I have them review it
and they agree
it is an A paper
so I have the principal
step in, and she forces her
to change the grade.
Nice arbitration.
You still back
there, babe?
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, I'm
just listening.
Tell me something
about yourself, Dedra.
Tell you something
about myself? Um-
Too vague?
Okay, where are you from?
St. Louis.
Any siblings?
Four sisters.
Oh, God,
what a nightmare.
I'm so glad
I'm an only child.
I would hate to share
my dad with anybody.
Mmm...mwah.
Aw.
Hm.
God, traffic
in L.A. sucks.
Hm.
These are new.
Yeah. Come on.
Surprise. Close your eyes.
You're gonna love this.
You're gonna
love this.
There.
What do you think?
Wow!
Everything is
totally different.
I mean, D painted the
whole thing by herself.
Oh, gosh.
I was happy to hire
someone to do it
but she insisted.
I don't know how you did
it all by yourself.
Yeah.
Thanks, Dedra.
That's a
funny clown.
Yeah, we got you-
Cool.
...some dolls.
Let's go to the pier.
Now?
Yes. I wanna whip your
ass in air hockey.
Oh, you
wish, sucker.
We have
That's when
old people eat.
C?non, let's just
go to the pier.
D, can you call
the restaurant
and see if they can
take us at 8:00?
It was hard enough getting
the 7:00, but, um...
I don't care about eating
at some fancy restaurant.
Come on, the sun is shining.
Let's go have fun.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Great.
Come on, you ass-licking
pussy-whipped
son of a bitch.
Kiss my ass.
That cold weather back East
has impaired your game, kid.
Kiss your fanny?
I got game, fool.
I got mad game,
muthafucker.
Okay. Bring it.
ugh.
YOU lose!
How sad are
you right now?
Come on, D,
you're up.
Oh, no,
I don't play.
Don't be a peeper.
I'm really
bad at games.
It's really easy.
You just have to
slide the puck around
and get it
in the thing.
It's really easy.
Don't be a peeper, Dedra.
Come on.
See? I stink
at this.
What's with
the attitude?
You gotta believe
in yourself, kid.
Dream the
impossible dream.
Get in there.
Get your hands dirty.
Do it.
Oh!
Come on.
Ow!
All right!
Whoa! Nice!
WOO!
Ho, ho, ho.
Yikes.
Hey.
What just happened?
it's just a game.
I know. I told you.
I don't like that kind of stuff.
It's nothing
to get upset about.
It's just that, you know,
I want her to like me
and I can already tell
she thinks I'm a loser.
She does like you.
No.
D, stop.
We're gonna go to dinner.
We're gonna have a nice time.
She's gonna get to know you.
You're gonna get to know her.
It'll be great.
Yeah.
Oh, I am
so embarrassed.
Oh, gosh, she thinks
I'm such a baby.
Yeah, but
you're my baby.
Come on.
Let's hit it.
I am ready to eat.
I haven't had
a thing all day.
Do you like
sushi, Chloe?
Love it.
There's this great little place near
my school, it's not fancy like this
it's just like a cool little hole in
the wall, but the sushi is so good.
There's this
spicy tuna roll.
Oh, my God.
It's better than sex.
Yeah.
Hey, guys. I'm Lukas.
I'll be your
server tonight.
Can I get you started
with some drinks?
I'll have
an apple martini.
I'll have a vodka martini
straight up and very dirty.
Are you old enough?
To what?
Drink.
Don't worry,
I'm not planning
on operating
any heavy equipment.
Okay.
Sir, what can I get you?
I'll have the same as my
daughter, only not as dirty.
And one olive
will do just fine.
Right. I'll be back in just a
minute to take your order.
That was subtle.
Who taught you your
moves, Heidi Fleiss?
I credit you, actually.
Ah, touch.
I don't mean to sound like a prude, but aren't
you a little young to be drinking alcohol?
Oh, come on, one drink's
not gonna kill her.
She's 15.
I mean, My god,
I don't think I had my first drink
until I was a freshman in college.
I was 12.
What college
to did you to?
Oh, it was just a local junior
college, nothing special.
No, that's great.
I hear some of those can
actually be pretty decent.
My friend, her
sister went to SMC
and then she wound
up going to UCLA.
And she was like
a total retard.
Well, let's
see what you've got.
You've never
won a game.
Suck on that.
It's not fair.
And I get
to pick up-
Now-
Bang.
You're going
down tonight.
What do you got?
Dammit, I thought I had
a better hand.
God, I wish I
had your metabolism-
I'm pretty lucky.
I can pretty much
eat whatever I want
and never
gain any weight.
Really?
Wait till you hit your mid-20s.
I don't think
it will happen.
My mom was pretty slim
and my dad said she ate
like a horse. So...
How old were you?
I was one.
Oh, my God.
That's really young.
Yeah.
Pretty sad, I guess.
I don't know, it's hard to miss
something that you never really had.
I've seen
pictures of her.
I look like her,
a lot like her.
Your dad doesn't really
talk much about her.
He hasn't said much
to me, either.
Just said he loved her very
much and she was very beautiful
but always sad.
After she had me, I mean.
Something chemical.
She changed.
My Aunt Lilly said she
wouldn't even hold me.
She said she was
jealous of me.
She was jealous
of her own baby?
Yeah. Apparently, she was like madly in
love with my dad, and after she had me
she felt like my dad
loved me more than her
and she couldn't
take it, so...
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
She was determined,
that's for sure.
Dennis?
Anybody home?
Hey, are you guys up there?
Hi.
Hey,babe.
Hey, Dedra.
D?
You in there?
D!
D, unlock
the door, honey.
D!
What is going on?
Nothing.
Something? obviously wrong.
Jesus, D, what is
going on with you?
Oh, I guess it's totally normal
to find your future husband
and his topless teenage daughter
lying out completely naked
in full view of
the entire world.
We're not in full
view of anybody
and as far
as being topless
by God, I've seen
that girl naked
her entire life.
Big fucking deal.
I'm sorry I don't understand
the whole hippie thing
but, you know, most people would
find this situation a little weird.
Weird?
Yeah, weird.
You know, the touching each other
constantly and the sex talk.
Do you realize that
when we're out together
people think the two
of you are together?
- Well, that's ridiculous.
- Well, it's true.
Well, I'm not everybody,
and how dare you judge
my relationship with my daughter.
How dare you!
And I like the fact
that we're close.
I mean,
is that a crime?
Heavens no.
No, I'm just an uptight prude,
Dennis. It's totally normal.
You know what, I can't talk to you right now.
You're just jealous.
You are.
You can't stand the fact that
there's another woman in this house
and you aren't the center
of my attention 2417!
Oh, don't flatter
yourself, asshole.
Listen to me, because I am
not going to repeat this.
If we're gonna get married,
you'd better accept the fact
that Chloe is an important
part of my life
a very important part of my life
and I will
not choose sides!
I'm gonna go out
for a little while.
See you later.
Happy?
That girl has done
nothing to you-
Nothing.
Hey. Hey, I have something
to say to both of you.
Um...
I'm not-
God, I don't know how to
put this right, but-
I guess I can start
by saying I'm sorry.
I've been horrible.
it's just-
I feel so left out
of things, you know?
And I'm- I mean,
it's not your fault
and you're right, Dennis,
I've been jealous.
And it's totally wrong
and immature of me
but I've...
Chloe, I- I'm sorry,
I just really-
I've been really
scared that-
I've been really scared
that you hate me.
Oh, God.
No, I'm-
...all right.
Oh.
Oh, God, can you
say basket case?
Shit, I
totally forgot.
Hello.
Hi.
What up?
I'm going to go show Lukas
my stamp collection.
You kids be good.
Oh, God!
Do it!
Here.
Oh, Lukas is
deejaying tonight.
He said he could
get us on the list.
That guy's
a deejay, too?
My God,
he gets around.
So you'll come, right?
I don't know.
No, we were gonna see that new
Julia Roberts movie tonight.
A movie?
I'm leaving in three days.
Come on.
I might need some
adult supervision.
We'll see.
Could be fun.
Here. You do this.
You're smarter than me.
Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ, you scared me.
Can I borrow
your lipstick?
Yeah. Sure. Top drawer.
Wow.
You really
like bright colors.
Oh, most of
those are old.
I'm not really into
makeup these days.
I think the natural
look is better.
Yeah.
Well, thanks anyway.
No worries.
What are you
gonna wear tonight?
I don't know.
You should
wear tight jeans.
You have nice legs.
And you should
wear your hair up.
He likes that.
Okay.
Huh.
Thanks.
Anytime, Dedra.
Anytime.
What a tool.
Who? The surfer
waiter DJ?
Why is it that guys think that
just because you fuck them
that means you're like in
love with them or something?
Lots of girls
are like that.
Not me. Girls are
fucking stupid.
I'm 15 years old.
I'm not ready for a boyfriend yet.
Oh, my God,
I love this song!
We're dancing.
No, thanks.
No, I'm just- I'm not much
of a dancer.
Come on. You guys are so boring.
Come on, Dad.
Oh, go on, you two, go on.
I'll- I'll be fine.
I'll wait here.
You sure?
Yeah.
All right, I'll
be right back.
Everyone sits down,
I stand up
They might walk,
but I'm gonna strut
They fit in,
I stand out
Even if l have to shout
I know, I know,
I'm not the same
You say yes, and I say
Don't care
What they say
I do things differently
With all the clichs
I do things differently
l guess they don't get me
I do things differently
I do, I do, I do,
I do, I do!
With the song I'm gonna
wreck it literally
I'm gonna stand
In the picture
Perfect shadow
Of someone
l don't wanna be
I'm not sorry at all
But that's just
Me, me, me, me
You keep it
Neat and tidy
How's it going?
Fine. Thanks.
Can I buy
you a drink?
I know, I know
I'm not the same
You say yes
And I say
No, no, no
Don't care what they say
I do things differently
Yeah.
With all the clichs
Sure.
I do things differently J7
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
What does it look like I'm doing, Dennis?
I'm dancing.
Who's this?
I'm her fianc.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, it's okay.
it's okay.
We were just having
a little fun, right?
Go on, Dennis.
Go back to your precious little girl.
You're a real fucking
piece of work.
You know that, D?
It's okay.
Come on.
I'm about to come.
Oh, Shit!
I don't feel well.
I don't-
I'm starving, babe.
I know. I'm sorry.
I just can't decide between
the grilled salmon
or the veggie-wrap.
Get the salmon.
It's brain food.
Okay.
Ready?
I'm ready to
eat this whole table.
I'll have the chimichangas
with extra guac on the side
and I'll pay extra.
I don't care.
Nah, I'll throw it in there.
Just don't tell anybody.
Great, thanks.
And you, hon?
I'll have
a salmon.
And can I have the
grilled vegetables
instead of the
mashed potatoes?
I don't see
why not. Okay.
Thank you
very, very much.
I like her.
Mm-hm.
I think she's new.
Her breasts
are so big.
Are they?
I feel bad for her.
She's gonna have lots
of lower back problems
when she's older.
Yes, Dr. Chen.
It's true.
Hey, babe,
what's up?
Nothing.
I don't know.
Do you like-
I mean, do you find girls with
large breasts attractive?
Well, I guess.
It depends.
On what?
On the girl, right?
But Cheryl had
big breasts, right?
Yeah, they were
a couple of handfuls.
Hey, babe,
I like your body.
They're not very big.
I don't care.
You have a really nice chest.
Sometimes I think about
getting a boob job
but it's just
so superficial.
Well, I guess some
guys like them.
Otherwise, why would
women bother, right?
I don't think it's
just about men.
Some girls just want larger
breasts for themselves.
Not everything a girl does
is just to impress a man.
Okay, babe.
Don't bite my head off about it.
Sorry.
That's okay.
I like when you get
all feminist and shit.
Oh, baby, does
that feel good?
Uh-huh!
Excuse me?
Really?
Yeah.
Did you do it?
No way.
Ew, Tammy Lynn.
Well, lots of guys like
that sort of thing.
Get out.
No, really.
Have you ever...?
Sure.
Seriously?
Uh-huh.
It just seems so-
dirty.
Hey.
What are you doing?
I was just in the hall.
I ran to get the phone.
Oh, okay.
L- l was just
calling to see
if you were still gonna come
over tonight after work.
Well, you know, I'm just
gonna chill at home tonight.
Jackson 's coming over.
We Te gonna drink some beers,
play some Xbox.
Is that cool?
Oh, um...
Yeah, of course
that's fine.
Tell him I said hi.
Okay. I'll talk
to you tomorrow.
Okay. Bye.
Bye.
You've been
kind of quiet.
I am?
I'm sorry.
I guess I'm just a little tired.
We'll make it
a chill night.
We'll rent one of your chick
flicks and cuddle on the couch.
Let's go
to a bar.
Really?
You want to
go to a bar.
I go to bars sometimes.
Not with me,
you haven't.
Wen, maybe
you don't know me as
well as you think you do
mister smartypants.
Let's say I want it
Let's say l want
What's over there
Let's say I know it
Let's say I've
know it anywhere
'Cause there 's
just some things
You know what's not
and what is
It's just like honey
And when you get
a taste of it
So baby, what I know
There 's no stop
'cause you are go
No way l can tame it
But baby, I can name it
You're so pony, so
very, very pony, pony
You Te so pony,
so very, so very pony
You ain't no one-trick
You Te more like
the triple crown
You ain't no one-
Wait.
Wait. Stop.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
I just really like you.
Oh, yeah,
me too.
You know that thing you asked
me to do the other night?
Yeah.
Do you still want
me to do it?
I don't want you
to do anything
that you're not
comfortable with.
I know.
So?
So do you still
want me to do it?
Wen, yeah.
It's lower.
Okay.
Lower.
Oh, baby.
That's it.
Oh, yeah.
That's it, babe.
Babe.
Yeah?
What are you doing?
Nothing.
Well, come back to bed.
Okay. Be there
in a sec.
All of these
are peripheral neuropathies
and the term
Charcot-Marie Tooth
is a term that was coined
by the three French physicians
earlier in the century
to identify the syndrome.
Now, all of these, as I said,
are peripheral neuropathies
which affect the nerves-
Hi.
Hey, babe,
what 's cooking?
Nothing. I'm
just shopping.
Oh, yeah? Nice.
I made reservations
at our favorite
so I'll pick you up
at 8:00, okay?
Okay. Sure. It
sounds great, hon.
By the way, I had
fun last night.
Maybe we can
do it again.
See you tonight.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Oh, you like
soap, huh?
No, I don't want
to buy all these.
I just need to know
which one works best.
Best for what?
For your hands.
Well, it depends on what
you want to wash off.
This one is good
for oil and grease.
And this one has
ammonium chloride
It 's strong
but it has a tendency
toward drying.
I need one that can
get out odors.
Like cigarettes?
No.
Is it a feminine need?
No.
It's-
it's for a, uh-
...a fecal odor.
Fecal?
You know-poop.
You got poop
on your hands.
Listen... Ned
I really don't want to get
into this right now, okay?
No, I understand.
I understand totally.
It's none of my beeswax.
Which one's best?
Oh, for that,
anything will do.
Common household soap
should do the trick.
No. No. You don't-
don't understand.
I've tried all that.
Nothing is working.
I just need a really
strong odor-removing soap.
Okay. All right. Okay.
Okay, try this one.
Wait! Your change is...
Stupid...
Get off.
It's gotta work.
It's gotta work.
Why? Why?
Why is this
happening to me?
Hey,babe.
Whoa. Did you put on
the whole bottle?
It's a little
strong at first.
Yeah, no kidding.
Well, here.
Oh, they're
so beautiful.
You going for a little
Michael Jackson thing?
My-my hand got cold.
Just your one hand?
I'm going to put these
in water, and we'll go.
Okay.
I am freaking starving.
Ground control
to Major Ginny.
Do you read me?
What?
Where are you tonight?
You seem all spacey, babe.
I'm sorry.
I've been
a little preoccupied.
School stuff.
Well, don't let the
man get you down.
What?
Oh, nothing.
I'm just looking.
For what?
Seeing if they seated us
next to the bathrooms
or something.
Bathrooms?
Yeah.
I keep smelling shit.
I- I-I Can't.
Ginny.
Hey, stop!
Sorry.
I know what you did.
I know what you did.
Now, this is
an unbelievable value, people.
Amazing. Pure gold
and titanium.
You know, a lot of
other watches out there-
...are made in places
like China and Taiwan.
They are mass produced,
which means the quality
just isn't there.
Hi.
I can 'I get to the phone right now
but if you leave a message,
I promise to get back to you.
Thank you.
Why
you don't call Father back?
Call us back.
We very worried.
Ginny!
Ginny, it's me, babe.
Open up.
Me and Tammy are here.
We're worried about you. Let us in.
Come on,
sweetie-pie, open up.
Open the door.
We don't know what's going on with you
but whatever it is,
you know we can help.
We're not leaving till
you open this door.
Ginny-
Ginny, babe,
what? going on?
Everyone is
so worried about you.
Your parents called me.
Professor Carlton
asked about you, too.
Let us in so
we can help you.
It can't be
that bad.
Nothing works.
What doesn't
work, honey?
Nothing.
I keep-
l keep washing
and I keep scrubbing.
It won't go away.
Why won't it go away?
What, babe? What won't go away?
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
it doesn't matter.
It doesn't fucking matter!
It doesn't matter!
Do something!
No!
No!
Hold her.
Ginny, do you know
why you are here?
Why is that?
Everybody thinks
I'm crazy.
Do you think
you're crazy?
Is that a yes?
I don't know.
I Can Smell it...
all the time
but they keep telling
me it's not there.
You mean the-
Poop.
Yes,
the poop, as you say.
And how did the poop
get on your finger?
Chad.
He made me
do it during sex.
Do what?
Put my finger
up his butt.
I don't know what
she's talking about.
She is not making
sense right now.
Stop it! Stop-
Are you crazy?
Oh, my God.
Check the north corridor.
Ginny.
Psst.
Over here.
It's me.
Jesus-
Listen.
There isn't much time.
They'll never believe you.
But it won't go away.
Sin never does.
There 's only one thing
you can do.
You know what
must be done.
Go. Go now, my child.
No! No, stop!
She's right in here.
Here you go.
Hi, sweetie.
How you
doing today?
I brought you some
things you might like.
It's just some fun reading
while you're here.
Well, you making any
friends around here?
Cheater!
Oh, my Lord!
Oh, my Lord.
Well, better hit it.
Got a hair appointment.
Carl's taking me to some
fancy-schmantzy place in Malibu.
You take care
now, okay?
Bye, sweetie.
Bye.
Okay, I'm ready.
Liza?
How about Anastasia?
Mm. Too Russian.
How about Claire? Huh?
Claires are always nice.
No, they 're
too Anglo, Tom.
We need to go a little
more, you know, ethnic.
Ethnic. Like what?
Like-
You asshole.
I'm trying
to concentrate here.
Okay, I'm sorry.
You know I hate it
when you do that, Geri.
B.F.D., Tom.
Just start again.
G- er...
Stinky hairy pussy.
Stinky hairy pussy.
Stinky hairy pussy.
Stinky hairy pussy-
Ger.
In here, Tom.
It's almost 2:00, Geri,
we gotta get going.
She's going to be there
in less than an hour.
Okay, I'm coming.
Okay, Blanche.
Take a fucking Xanax, Tom.
It would be nice if you could
help a little around here.
Oh, yeah?
And do what?
Lick the floors?
What's that?
A mojito.
You're just drinking
on a weekday afternoon?
Mm-hm.
Uh-huh, no.
I don't think that's the
kind of first impression
we need to be
making here, Ger.
She's here?
She's here.
Come in-please.
I'm- Oh, I'm Tom.
Sorry, I-
This is my life
partner, Geri.
Hi.
Uh, um... can we get you
anything to drink or...?
Money.
Right.
Why beat around
the bush? Okay.
There you go.
Good.
Papers.
Right.
Questions?
What about an
instruction manual?
It's-no, we're fine.
Go.
Ciao.
Oh-
Hi, sweetie.
I'm Tom
and this is Geri
and we're-
your daddies.
Oh, God, that
sounds so weird.
- Ger.
- Hmm?
Try a little, please.
Okay.
Hi.
Do you have
a name, honey?
Good...
because we already
picked one for you.
You...
Mahogany.
Isn't it nice?
Do you like it?
I think I'll
put some music on.
isn't it fabulous?
What is she doing?
She's just
sitting there.
What's wrong with her?
There's nothing wrong
with her, Ger.
She's getting adjusted.
Shh.
We should get
her out of the house.
It might
break the ice.
Where should
we take her?
Fabulous
Mahogany?
Is everything all right
in there, sweetie?
Ger.
Oh, my God, look.
Is- Is that
your daughter?
Yes.
Oh.
We just got
her today.
Congratulations.
Rose came into our
lives six months ago
and I cannot tell
you how rewarding
the whole
experience has been.
She is enriched
both of our lives.
Oh, that's wonderful.
We're very excited.
Aren't we, hon?
Yeah, yeah,
of course.
I'm Tom, and
this is Geri.
I'm Steve, and this
is my husband Paulo.
Ciao.
Oh, Italiano?
Si.
Molto bene.
Okay- And this
is little Mahogany.
Say hello to Steve
and Paulo, sweetie.
Hi, honey.
This is ROSS.
Very pleased to make
your acquaintance.
Why, isn't she
the chic little one.
She speaks
three languages
and plays the violin
like you wouldn't believe.
And she just
came like that?
Well, we're having
a little get-together
at our house
tomorrow afternoon.
Why don't the two of you come
and bring little Rose?
We're going to
have a clown.
And it's catered.
Oh, well, thank you.
Uh, we have some stuff
to do tomorrow
but we would
love to drop by.
Please do.
It was nice meeting
you all. Bye-bye.
Now we have
to get a clown.
Mahogany?
Sweetie, aren't
you hungry?
Why doesn't she
say anything?
Can't she speak English,
for Christ's sake?
Don't talk about her like
she's not in the room.
Well, she might
as well not be.
She understands us.
She's just a little shy.
Mahogany.
What's my name?
Me.
What's my name?
Looks like we
got a lemon.
Geri, how dare you.
"She speaks
three different languages
and she plays
the violin."
Huh? Huh?
Oh, hi, and this is
our daughter Mahogany.
She doesn't say
or do anything.
Come on, sweetie.
It's time for bed.
You and I are going to have
a little chit-chat later.
Super, Tom.
Living for it.
"And even though
her real mommy and daddy
"didn't want her
"the special little girl knew
that her new parents
"were ever so happy to have
her in their lives.
The end."
Did you like that?
Okay.
First day.
Things'll get better.
Boop.
I'm not speaking
to you, remember?
Uh-oh. Is that
contagious?
Why can't you give
it a chance?
I am.
No, you're not.
You're being an ass.
I'm sorry.
I guess I'm just not used
to the whole thing yet.
Well, neither
am I, Ger
but I'm going
to give it a try.
Well, then
I will too.
Okay.
Mmm.
Mm! Mm!
Ger, wait,
wait, wait.
What about...?
Who cares?
She's asleep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh. Oh, ah.
Ah, yeah.
Oh, yes, Tom.
Yeah, fuck me.
Oh, fuck my hole.
Shh. Shh.
She's gonna hear you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Come on.
Oh.
Fuck it good!
What's wrong?
I'm not gonna do it if you're
gonna keep yelling like that.
Okay, fine.
Why don't we just
stop having sex, too?
What was that?
Mahogany!
Mahogany!
Mahogany?
Ma- Oh my God,
is she in the pool?
Mahogany?
Mahogany!
Oh. Oh, my God.
What on earth are you
doing out here?
There. Comfy cozy.
Now, Mahogany
we don't go outside unless
there's an adult to supervise.
You sleep here.
In your nice bed
with your pretty
Ralph Lauren sheets
that we bought special
just for you.
Okay?
Okay, Daddy.
Maybe later you can come
and finger-fuck me.
Geri, that's disgusting.
Don't even joke
about that.
You know those people
at Child Services
would love any excuse to
take our Mahogany from us.
I've heard stories about
them watching gay couples.
Spying on them, tapping
their phone lines.
Oh, so now the house is bugged.
You never know.
We would never
finger-fuck Mahogany.
We love
our mute black child.
- Get out.
- What?
I've had enough.
Get out now.
Fine.
You'll have
to excuse Geri.
He was raised
in a cynical, loveless
low-income home
in New Jersey.
Anyway, you need
to get some sleep.
You've got a big day
ahead of you.
No outside, Mahogany.
Stay.
Stay.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
I didn't know
what to get.
So where is the little
rug rat anyway?
Where's Mahogany?
- What?
- Hi.
Where's Mahogany?
I don't know.
Chuckles is going to leave
in, like, 10 minutes.
Who the hell
is Chuckles?
The clown, Ger.
Eww. Creepy.
Come on.
What?
Help me find her.
This is unacceptable
behavior, Mahogany.
You're gonna have
to learn to be social
if you want to fit
into this world.
Mahogany, it? fun.
Look at the other
children, okay?
Take your cues off of them.
Sit in the chair.
Daddy, daddy, look at
the cute possum.
Oh, my God!
Jesus Christ.
Needless to say,
the party was ruined.
I doubt we'll ever see any
of those people again.
I thought it
was kind of cool.
I mean, she was like,
Shaka fucking Zulu.
Ger.
Gen calm down.
Get serious here.
Do you know anything about
Mahogany's family upbringing?
Not really.
She's from some remote part
of Africa or something.
Yeah, and she
doesn't speak. Ever.
It's been two weeks, and she
hasn't said a single word.
Well, that's actually fairly
common for a child from
an emotionally
malnourished environment.
It's going to take time
for you to gain her trust.
How long?
Oh, l don't know, really.
I mean, it could be
weeks, months
even in some
cases years.
Years? Well,
that's bullshit.
We didn't spend
over $15,000
on an African mute
with a penchant
for exterminating
small feral animals.
Ger, calm down.
You're hurting
Mahogany's feelings.
Hell0?
Hey, it's me.
How's it going?
It's going, I guess.
How? Mahogany?
Oh, she's fine.
She's hiding in her
fucking bushes, as usual.
Maybe you two could go
to the park or something?
And watch her stone one
of the kids to death?
Pass.
Come on, Ger.
Dr. Shelley said to get
her out of the house
as much as possible.
Quality time is
so important.
Okay, fine, Tom.
Stop badgering me.
I wasn't badgering you.
Okay, fine. We're going. Later.
Hey.
Hey, what are
you doing?
Oh, really?
Dude, you're
making me hard.
Right now?
No, no, l can't.
No, I've got the kid, and-
You would?
Okay.
Okay, 20 minutes.
Mahogany!
? Hey, baby?
? It's gonna be all right?
? Hey, baby,
gonna love you all night?
? All night long?
? I'm going to sing
this song?
Faggot!
Breeder!
? I need to see the sun?
? Love 's in your eyes?
? The love we share?
? it turns me upside down?
Mahogany, sweetie.
I'm going to go on inside
for a little while
and you are going to stay
right here.
Okay?
Hey, hon.
Oh, hi.
Hi. How was
your day?
Fine, thanks.
Where's Mahogany?
I don't know
what's wrong with her.
She's cracked
out of her mind.
That's what's
wrong with her.
You gave our
daughter crystal meth.
How in the hell did she get
her hands on narcotics?
Tell me.
I don't know.
You tell me.
I had a little
in my car, okay?
Big fucking deal.
You've done it before, too.
I didn't give it to
a 7-year-old child.
At the park?
Where did you go?
The park.
I don't buy it.
Well, I ain't
sellin' anything.
Let me smell it.
Fuck Off.
You are not
smelling my cock.
Let me smell it, Ger.
Let me smell it!
Faggot.
Did she just say what
I think she said?
Faggot. Faggot.
Faggot. Faggot.
Okay. You should have
everything you need here-
bottles of water
first-aid kit
crackers.
Oh, and PowerBars
which should last
you quite a while.
So... be careful.
And stay away from
those mountain lions.
I heard they're nasty.
Okay.
All right.
Liza. Liza.
Come on, Liza.
Liza.
Oh, Liza.
Crow to catfish, crow to catfish.
Do you copy?
Come on, guys. I'm
not playing anymore.
I'm not playing anymore.
You caught me.
The game isn't
over yet, Abdul.
My name isn't Abdul.
it's Jeffrey.
Your name is Abdul.
You Te an
al-Qaeda operative
with plans to commit
heinous acts of terrorism.
And you must be killed.
No.
SpongeBob's gonna show
you how he guts a fish.
I can't do it.
Look over there.
See what happens
when you run?
Oh, stop crying,
you big baby.
What should we
do with him?
The old tree.
Jeffrey!
Jeffrey, your
mother is here!
What a coward.
Oh, there's Mommy.
What happened?
They tried
hanging me from a tree.
Aw, they were just playing
hide and go seek.
Hide and go seek?
Yeah.
Look at him.
He's shaking.
Aw.
Where are
their parents?
Oh, they're
out of town.
- Again?
- Yeah.
I want the number
for their hotel.
This is ridiculous.
I'm so sorry.
I don't- I don't think
I have their number.
What kind of parents
don't leave a number
where they can
be reached?
Well, tell them they can expect
a call from my attorney.
Uh, okay.
All right.
Well, thanks so
much for coming.
Bye.
I love your jeans.
Did his mom get mad?
Of course.
She fucking freaked.
She's going to call
her lawyers. Enjoy that.
Big deal.
Oh, check it out.
I'm going to be having
some company here tonight.
So I'm going to need
you guys to fuck off
like good little Children.
Okay? Dig?
Right.
All right.
Did you wanna kill this?
All right I'll fucking kill it.
Louisa.
Hm?
What is she doing?
Praying to her
dead baby.
What's in her hand?
The umbilical cord.
Why does she
keep it?
I don't know.
I guess it is all
that she has left.
I think it's gross.
Me 100.
Jezebel, shut
the fuck up!
I fucking
hate that bird.
Why aren't you
dressed for school?
We don't have
school today.
What?
It's Martin
Luther King Day.
Oh. Hey, that was,
like, a month ago.
Part Two.
Fine. Don't
go to school.
Grow up stupid. See
if I fucking care.
I don't speak
your language, maid.
Stop laughing.
I said stop laughing,
you fucking bitch!
What?
I just realized that you've
been going to see Dr. Shelley
for like a year-
and I don't
know why.
Why do people
climb Everest?
To prove
something useless
to no one in
particular, obviously.
Wrong. Because
it's there.
Oh, my Gad. I've never
heard that one.
Be cynical, if that gets you
through the day, Mary Jane.
Ugh, you're
so annoying.
Nicholas.
When they leave, how
does that make you feel?
How come you never have me
lay down on the chair?
I've told you before,
I only use the chair
when I'm engaging clients
in free association.
Have you ever had sex
on the chair?
When they leave, how
does that make you feel?
I bet you want to
have sex on the chain
Nicholas.
Your accent is fake,
isn't it?
Don't you realize I can see
through this whole show?
You're wasting
our time together.
You may as well not
even come here at all.
I had a dream
about them.
They were on
a beach somewhere
near the French
Riviera, I think.
They seemed happy.
Then I rose out
of the ocean
like the great kraken
from ancient Greek mythology.
I plucked them
from their beach chairs
and I ripped
their limbs off
like- like they were
little insects.
They were screaming
and begging for mercy
but that only made me angrier.
So I crushed their heads
between my fingers.
And then...
I ate them.
Okay.
Right. Right.
We've quite a bit of work
to do on you, don't we?
What's wrong
with her?
The umbilical
cord is gone.
You mean that nasty thing
she keeps in there?
Who'd want
to take that?
You!
What?
Yes, you.
You take it.
Are you crazy?
You are the devil.
Hey. Hey.
What the fuck is all
the screaming about?
What's wrong with her?
Somebody stole her
baby's umbilical cord.
Who- her what?
She keeps it
in her jewelry box.
She kisses it
when she prays.
Am I tripping
on acid right now
or are we talking about a
stolen fucking umbilical cord?
She thinks
I took it.
Who cares?
It's unsanitary
keeping shit like
that in a house.
Louisa, please tell
her to get over it.
That's what photos are for.
Jesus Christ.
She is crazy. She
should be committed.
But she's not lying. It is gone.
That means somebody in this
house stole it, right?
True.
- Gracias.
- I know.
We put everyone
who could've taken
the umbilical cord
on the stand.
It'll be just
like Court TV.
Only real.
I'll be the judge.
Trevor, you can be
the court reporter.
And Colby, you'll
be the bailiff.
What's a bailiff?
He's the one
with the gun-
Cool.
Colby
you may show the suspects
to the courtroom.
Be seated.
As you all know, a crime
was committed yesterday
theft, to be precise.
The item in question
is one umbilical cord
belonging
to Miss Blanca Juarez
and her deceased son,
Fernando Guadalupe Juarez.
Order!
There will be
no outbursts of emotion
in this courtroom.
Thank you.
Now, all of the possible
suspects are in this room.
And by the end
of this inquisition
we shall hopefully
get to the bottom
of this heinous act.
I shall now call on
our first suspect, Tak.
Though you work
outside the house
it is not fair
to rule you out
as a possible suspect
and it is entirely possible
that you may harbor
secret reasons
for stealing
the umbilical cord.
Perhaps, a scorned love?
He doesn't speak
English, shitbird.
Well, can anyone translate?
Oh, yeah, actually, I can.
Ni-hah, ching,
ching, ching, ching
zing, zing, zing,
Szechuan Palace.
He didn't take it.
Tak, you're excused
from the court.
Miss Alvarez.
Where were you between
the hours of 8:00 a.m.
and 9:00 p.m. yesterday?
Here in the house.
And what is
your occupation?
I am the housekeeper.
What does that entail?
Oh, my God, don't be
an asshole, Nicholas.
Just get to the fucking point.
We all know what she does.
Fine. Louisa, did you
take the umbilical cord?
No.
Why not?
What would I
do with it?
That will be all.
Save the speech.
Did I take it? NO.
I wouldn't even touch
anything that disgusting.
And for the record,
I don't get it.
Like, what, your mom dies
or, like, your cat
and you hack
its foot off
and put it in a shoebox
as a keepsake?
I don't think so.
Okay, now that that's
out of the way
there's only
one person left.
Why is she here?
She can't steal what
is belonging to her.
Can 't doesn't exist
in a court of law
until proven so, Louisa-
I call Blanca Juarez
to the stand.
Miss Juarez,
how did your baby die?
Nicholas-
This is a vital part
of my interrogation.
Please answer
the question.
Um, I watching
the baby.
And the hair-
the hair...
Como se llama
the hair-?
Hair dryer?
Yes.
It fall into the water
and I tried
to grab it.
I scream
but nobody come.
And I couldn't
do anything.
That's a very sad
story, Miss Juarez.
Yes.
I just have to ask you
one more very
important question.
Okay.
Did you murder your baby?
What?
All right.
Game over, Nicholas.
I even draw
the line somewhere.
She did. I swear.
Look.
These are from her
boyfriend in El Salvador
the baby's father.
He was cheating on her.
Hey hey hey hey hey.
Where did you
get those?
In your room.
I was just going to borrow
the umbilical cord.
You stole it?
Borrowed. Just
to piss her off
Then I found the letters-
You killed your baby!
No!
- You were jealous.
- No.
You wanted to punish
your boyfriend.
You wanted to take away the
one thing he really loved
because he
didn't love you.
So you put your baby
in the bathtub
and threw the hair
dryer into it.
You electrocuted
him to death.
You killed your baby.
Didn't you?
Didn't you?
Ah, yes. S!
S. S. S. S. S.
Okay.
Ay, caramba.
Fuck me.
Blanca?
What's the number again?
For 911?
Can I speak
to a human, please?
You guys!
Guys, go see what
he's shouting about.
Are they going to
give her the chair?
Just-I don't know.
Can you go-
to the- brother?
What?
Guess it's time
to get a new maid.
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
J Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
? Dashing through the snow?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
? O'er the fields we go?
? Laughing all the way?
? Bells on bobtail ring?
? Making spirits bright?
? What fun it is to laugh?
? And sing our
sleighing song tonight?
? Oh, jingle bells,
jingle bells?
Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
? A day or two ago?
? I thought
I 'd take a ride?
? And soon
Miss Fannie Bright?
? Was seated by my side?
? The horse
was lean and lank?
? Misfortune seemed his lot?
? We got into
a drifted bank?
? And then we got upsot?
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
? Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
? In a one-horse
open sleigh?
? Jingle bells,
jingle bells?
? Jingle all the way?
Hello?
Yes, this is
Sara Cotton.
No, I don't read
the paper.
No, thank you.
U Damn?
? I wish
I was your lover?
? I'd rock you
till the daylight comes?
? Make sure you are
smiling and warm?
? I am everything?
? Tonight I'll be
your mother, I'll do-?
Robert.
Robert Kane.
Robert Kane.
Robert.
Did a customer
leave that behind?
No.
I found it this morning.
On the sidewalk.
Well, that's a
stroke of bad luck.
Ah, it's
already 2:00.
Look, Sarah, you better
take your lunch now.
We have three boxes in
the back left to unpack.
I want those done
before five.
You are going to return
that, aren't you?
Yes.
Well, it's a form
of theft, you know.
Keeping something that
doesn't belong to you.
I'm going to go
to the post office
and I'm going to mail it to the
address that's on the license.
Good girl.
I'll be back by 3.
Okay.
Yeah, what?
Is Robert here?
What do you
want with him?
I'm a friend
of his.
A friend?
Yes. Is he here?
No, he's at work.
I seem to have forgotten
where that is.
Solly's Pizza
over on Lankershim.
On Lankershim,
that's right.
How do you
know my son?
Car trouble.
I had a flat.
He helped me
Out with it.
I just wanted
to thank him again.
Well, that's grand.
Maybe you can ask him to help
his mother pay the rent.
I won't take any more of your time.
Thank you.
Well, who shall
I say stopped by?
Do you want
this for here?
Lady.
Here?
Uh, yes. Yes, I'll have
it for here. Thank you.
De nada.
Fucking traffic.
They didn't
tip me shit.
Hey, at least
you get a tip-
Yeah, well,
barely anything.
Hey, what's the matter,
Puto? You sick?
No, I'm fine.
Go get a mop.
Why? Why me?
Because I'm busy.
Go get a mop.
Sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I'm such a klutz.
You look familiar.
You wouldn't happen to be
Robert Kane, would you?
I guess not.
You just look
like this guy
who accidentally
left his wallet
at my house
last night.
I've been meaning
to return it.
I'm just having a hard
time tracking him down.
I went by his house-
What do you want?
Look, I don't know you, lady
so you should probably
just leave, okay?
You don't know me?
What the fuck
do you want, huh?
I just want to
return your wallet.
Then do it.
Not here.
Do you like pizza?
Of course you do.
You work around pizzas
all day, so you must.
There 's a Shakey's
near my house-
A block away.
Meet me there
at 8:30.
Do you remember
where I live?
Well, I'm
late for work.
I have to go.
Goodbye.
Thank you.
You're not hungry?
I'm famished.
I usually eat
like around six.
Six-thirty the latest.
I like coming here.
The food is good,
the people are nice.
I usually come here
on Thursdays.
They have the
free salad bar.
Otherwise, I just
eat at home.
Sandwiches, mostly.
I like to watch TV
while I'm eating.
I like to watch,
um, you know
Access Hollywood and
Entertainment Tonight.
I don't watch
the news, though.
It's sad, so it just
depresses me.
I just wait
for the weather report.
That way I just know whether it's
going to be an S day or a T day.
What is that, S day?
A sweater or
a T-shirt day.
Do you want a bite?
No, thanks.
It's not good anyway today.
It's too much dressing.
It makes everything
soggy and icky.
I think the new people that
they have working here
are not that motivated,
if you know what I mean?
So, Robert.
Do you go
by a nickname?
Or just plain Robert?
My dad used
to call me Bucky
but that was
before I had braces.
My friends just call me
Rob, I guess.
Hmm.
Your friends
call you Rob.
I like that.
I like Robert better.
I don't know.
it's more-
It's more masculine.
More dignified.
It's kind of like
Robert Redford.
You know, he doesn't
go by Bobby Redford.
I've seen him on TV.
I haven't seen him-
Sarah.
I know. I know.
I'm talking too much.
I'm sorry.
I'm nervous. I-
It's okay.
Uh, I just have to get
to work early tomorrow.
Do pizza places open
early in the morning?
It's funny. You never think
about things like that.
You know?
But maybe,
I don't know.
Maybe people like pizza
in the morning.
Do you like pizza
in the morning, Robert?
This has all
been really nice.
Okay? All this.
But I need my stuff.
Your stuff?
Yeah, my stuff.
My wallet.
Remember?
Oh. Your wallet.
Yes. My wallet. Remember?
Okay.
I don't have it.
What?
No. I mean I don't
have it here with me.
It's back at my house.
I- I thought that if-
if dinner went well
maybe you wanted to come by
and spend some time.
Just a little bit.
We can play a game.
Do you like Uno?
We don't have
to play Uno.
It gets boring, anyway.
I have Jenga, too.
But that's a game
that scares me.
I'm always the one
to drop all the pieces.
Lady, what- what
is- what is this?
Why are you doing this?
Doing what?
This. What is it?
Look, do you want me to apologize?
Do you have some fucking
guys at your place
waiting to do something
to me, is that it?
You mean hurt you?
Oh, my gosh.
What then? Huh?
I just wanted to spend some
time with you, that's all.
I don't know.
I'm just really confused right now.
I can't even tell you
how confused I am.
Do you want to leave?
Let's leave. We're not
having any fun here.
It's funny, I know.
People usually go
Dutch on a first date
but I'm a little
old-fashioned.
Thank you, kind sir.
You ready?
I won.
I'm sorry.
It's not nice to laugh
at another person's
misfortune.
Well, that's it.
The game's over, I guess.
I know.
It was fun, huh?
Is that your girlfriend?
Who?
Your phone
keeps ringing.
I thought it was
your girlfriend.
I don't have
a girlfriend.
I bet she's
really pretty.
You know, long legs
and beautiful hair
just like on TV.
I just said I don't
have a girlfriend.
Really?
Why not?
I bet girls would
love to date you.
Maybe you're not
understanding me.
But I have
to go, okay?
So give me
the wallet.
Do you want to play
another game?
My wallet, please.
Why don't we
watch a movie?
I have
The Little Mermaid on DVD.
- Give me the wallet.
- Too girlie, right?
What about Big?
Give me the
fucking wallet!
I'm not gonna-
I'm not gonna
hurt you.
I just want my shit.
And, and I can go.
Thanks.
Excuse me.
Great.
? Oh, what fun
it is to ride?
Where is it?
Huh?
Look, I don't
know what kind
of fucked-up headcase
you are.
I don't really give a shit.
I just want my license back.
Give it to me.
Give it to me!
You think this is
fucking funny?
Huh? You fucking crazy bitch.
What is it?
No! No!
What is that?
What do you want
from me, huh?
What do you want?
I want you to do
it again.
What?
That's- that's sick.
That is Sick.
Don't say that.
Do it please.
Please rape me.
Please don't-
No. No.
No, come on, please.
Please! Rape me!
Hurt me! Hurt me!
Hurt me. Yes. Yes!
You want me
to fuck you?
Yes!
Fucking-Fucking
crazy bitch!
Is this what you
want, huh?
Yes.
Fuck you.
What are you doing?
You can't stop.
You can't leave!
Get the fuck off me!
Don't leave!
Please don't leave.
What the-
Please stay. Please stay.
Please don't leave me!
You crazy bitch!
Get off of me!
Don't leave me!
Don't go!
Get off of me!
Don't leave me!
Get back!
Don't go.
I would hate to
share my dad with anybody.
I keep washing.
it won't go away.
She is cracked
out of her mind.
That's what's
wrong with her.
You gave our daughter
crystal meth.
You killed your baby.
Didn't you?
Didn't you?
Give me the
fucking wallet!
Rape me!