Busting (1974) Movie Script
1
Doctor Bickman would like to see me in two weeks.
Certainly, Mrs. Rosen.
Two weeks, two weeks... uhhh.....
Tuesday the 23rd at 3:30.
Would that be alright?
Tuesday, yeah, that'll be alright.
I feel terrible.
Thank you, Mrs. Rosen.
Doctor Bickman will see you now.
- Hello, Jackie.
- Hello, Dr. Bickman.
I'll be right with you.
Oh thanks.
Ah, that's a very pretty
dress you're wearing.
- Thank you.
- Very becoming.
- Here we are.
- Thank you.
You're in uh, the best health.
I know, thank you.
You have very beautiful skin.
You really ought to be complimented on the way that...
you've taken care of your skin.
Thank you.
Do you have an appointment?
No.
Well, well, I'm sorry. Doctor Bickman's
schedule is rather full.
That's OK.
You see, I had a filling here
It fell out, you know?
Would you like to make an appointment?
- No.
- Doctor Bickman is with a patient.
It's OK. Thank you.
Hey, how you doing?
Who are you and what are you doing here?
I'm Mr. Keneely and
this here is Mr. Farrel.
- How are you?
- What's wrong with you?
you coming in barging in here like this?
We'd like to talk to you for a minute.
Don't you see I have a patient?
How you doing?
Stick of gum?
We'd like to talk to you
about a girl named Jackie.
Oh, Jackie's liable to get you written up in all the dental journals.
There is another office
where we can talk.
It's right this way. Um...
I'll be right back, Mrs. Storch.
She might even get your face in the cover.
Take it easy, Mrs. Storch.
Really do it in the chair?
I do not know what you're talking about.
Good doctor, please,
now wait a minute.
Before we bullshit each other
into the middle of next week...
there's a couple things you gotta know.
First of all, we know who she is.
Jackie? We know why she
comes here every Tuesday
and we know what she
does when she is here.
- In the chair.
- Oh, no, no, no.
How would you know anything
about her or me for that matter?
We've had a tap on her
phone for over a month.
Honest.
That's illegal.
I knew we shouldn't
have done it.
You got a waste basket I
can throw this in?
Yes there's one right over there.
- Doctor?
- Yeah.
Listen, we really don't want
to make any trouble for you. Really.
All we want to do is get the girl.
Personally, I don't blame
you because she's a knock out.
I'm in love with her,
but we do have nail her.
I think I don't think I want to
answer any of your questions.
Well, look, I'm going to
make a date with her.
I'm going to tell her
I'm a friend of yours.
You're no friend of mine.
Well, I certainly would like to be.
Anyway, she's going to be
calling you up to check me out.
Like any smart hooker would, right?
And you're going to tell
her everything's cool, got it?
I am not going to do any such thing.
Listen, do you have
a warrant?
- You gotta warrant?
- I don't have a warrant.
- Do you have a warrant?
- No. We don't got a warrant.
Then I think you better get outta here.
Well, we can't do that.
We don't have enough evidence
if we leave now for a conviction.
It would be embarrassing if we went
in front of the grand jury
without any evidence.
Embarrassing for me, for him,
embarrassing for you, doctor.
Pictures, television,
Walter Cronkite.
Okay, get out of here.
- No.
- Wait a minute.
- I think Dr. Bickman is right.
- Huh?
I think we oughta leave
and perhaps discuss it...
some other time... a
more comfortable place.
Oh I think you're quite right.
- Thank you.
- You're quite welcome.
Where would we feel
more comfortable?
Oh I Don't know.
Maybe at the doctor's home...
with the doctor's wife and children.
Beautiful idea. The man's got class.
Wait Wait.
Alright. Alright.
I think you men are despicable.
Oh, and you're a
Cub Scout, right?
What time you got?
Quarter to six.
Okay, I'll open the door at five to.
You got it.
Nah, make it six o'clock.
She's sorta cute.
Terrific.
Have a wonderful time.
I'm gonna sit right down here and
protect this very dangerous work.
How about if I come back tomorrow morning?
Hello there.
Hey, how you doin'?
Hi. Are you Mike?
Uh huh.
- Come on in.
- Okay.
Would you uh, like a drink?
Oh, no thanks.
It's quite a place you got here.
Thank you.
Where do you know Dr. Bickman from?
Leo?
Oh, we were in the army together.
- Oh. Where are you from?
- Chicago.
Oh, Chicago is a nice city.
Yes, if you can stand the weather.
Where in Chicago?
What do you mean, "Where in Chicago?"
Chicago.
There is the North
Side, the South Side.
- The Near North.
- The North Side.
Oh. Do you know
where Division Street is?
What are you asking
me all these questions for?
Because I think
you're a vice cop.
Vice cops? What is it? Is there a cop around here?
Listen, I don't want any trouble.
- Take it easy.
- I'll come back another time.
-There are no police here.
-If I thought there were police...
- Listen, I knew I shouldn't have come here.
- Look I told you... don't worry.
- You don't have to worry.
- I'm a respected man.
- No, it's alright.
- Maybe I'll come back some other time.
- I don't want...
- Look, don't worry.
Now, what do you want?
What I want?
Well, you said 100 bucks.
Well, 100 is for a standard job.
If you want something a little bit more...
special... then that will cost a little bit more.
Oh yeah? How much?
That all depends
on what you want.
What, you got a catalogue?
This time I'll take the standard job... this time.
Do you want me to take your clothes off?
No, no, I could uh... handle that myself.
Oh.
Is anything the matter?
Oh no, nothing's the matter.
Yeah... no?
I don't know how to tell
you this, you're under arrest.
Oh shit. Are you kidding me?
No. I wish I was.
It's after six.
Everything OK?
Do you know where
Division Street is?
Division Street is in Chicago.
Oh yeah, what part of Chicago?
What the hell do I know?
Is everything OK?
Yeah, everything's OK.
I was just asking a couple of questions.
Jackie, Farrell. Farrell, Jackie.
How ya do?
Just fine thank you.
I think your partner is a prick.
- So do I.
You better get dressed.
Oh, where's your trick book, honey?
I do not know what you're talking about.
She doesn't know what we're talking about.
I'll find the trick book.
It ain't there anyplace.
It ain't there.
Oh.
Just what the hell do you
think you're doing?
Oh, I don't know what
you're talking about.
It's in the cushion on the sofa.
Right.
I knew you'd find it.
Well, let's get going, huh.
I have another appointment at nine.
That little trick kept
everyone's rating in her book.
Very efficient.
How did the dentist do?
"Stinkaroo. Tapioca time."
I don't have it here.
What time did we bust her?
- You said it was after six.
- Okay.
She's got lollapaloozas
here, let me tell you.
Yeah, who you got?
Gelbart. That guy from the DA's office.
Yeah? How did he...
250 dollars. That's how he did.
- Man, she was a robber.
- Overcharged. Overloaded.
He should have called a cop.
You bet he should
have called a cop.
It says his specialty was
getting dressed in her underclothes.
For 250 dollars he can
wear my underwear.
Boy, I didn't write down nothin'.
What time did we
start surveillance?
- Oh, about four o'clock.
- Okay.
You won't believe this.
Belinki and Newman
made the book.
Those guys from the day shift?
How'd they do?
Good.
Terrific. I wouldn't want the
department to get a bad name.
Farrell, vice squad.
You sure?
Yeah. Okay.
Sergeant wants to see us.
Oh, good, goody, goody, goody, goody.
Would you like to sit down, Keneely?
- It's OK.
- Sit down, Keneely.
Would you like a cigar?
- Farrel?
- No, thanks, boss.
Would you like a light?
No, no, I don't smoke.
Then why you got that
thing in your mouth for?
I Don't know. I...
These cigars are for shit.
I just got a whole box full.
Sent away for them in a mail order thing...
that said they were Havanas.
You know, if this is a...
Havana, Castro can keep
that whole stinking country.
It is a shame.
Now I have to smoke that
whole stinking box of cigars.
It is a shame.
About that hooker you
busted, what's her name?
The one that was just brought in?
-Jackie.
-Jackie. Yeah, yeah, Jackie.
Well, what about her?
Someone made a phone call.
Keneely, are you sure there
wasn't entrapment involved?
Yeah I'm sure.
What kind of phone call?
The phone call doesn't matter.
It's just that this girl has
some friend someplace.
Oh yeah? Where?
It doesn't matter.
You talking about Rizzo?
Are you sure there's
no chance that you've never...
heard her specifically say what
she was gonna do for the money?
It's Rizzo.
It's the kind of mistake
any cop can make.
Nobody'd be pissed.
Happens all the time.
Judge would be delighted to throw the
case out in the morning.
You know how
overcrowded the courts are.
All you have to do
is tell the judge that
that you never heard
her say it specifically
state what she was gonna do for the money.
Then there is not enough
evidence for a conviction.
Hey, what's so special
about this hooker?
You sure you don't want a cigar?
Well, I'm glad that's settled.
Now, about tonight. We
had a complaint about that...
Sit down.
About that fruit bar The Cavern.
They got a live
show going after hours.
They lock the doors at
two and then they put it on.
You guys go in around
one thirty, and we'll have
five cars and a wagon
there at showtime.
Soon as your ready to make the bust, you open the door.
That will be our signal. Okay?
Okay.
Are you sure you
don't want a cigar?
No thanks.
Hey, you know, this
isn't a picnic for me either.
Hey, how are you, ladies?
Shove it.
Hey, look at the Electra.
Rizzo's house is really smoking tonight.
He's got a broad in there who does
a trick with a cigarette.
Hard to believe.
I wish we could
bust that place.
We couldn't even keep
one of his hookers in jail.
Big, tough cops.
Say, would you like a light?
Ah, no, no, I don't smoke.
Just a nervous habit.
Very nervous.
No thanks.
No thanks.
Hello there.
Hello there.
My name is Stephen.
Hello, Stephen.
What's your name?
Pat...Patrick.
Are you alone?
Pat's with me.
Her loss.
Come on, Patricia, let's dance.
Hey, Scheherazade, I
think we better dance.
Are you kidding me?
Come on, do you want to
stand around here for another half hour?
With your badge on your forehead?
This place isn't even gonna close up.
- I'll lead.
- Oh yeah? Come on.
If you want to dance, I'm leading.
If you want to dance, I will lead.
Hey, did you do that?
What?
Someone pinched my ass.
Are you shittin' me?
You smell quite sweet. What
kind of cologne do you use?
I wish two o'clock would get here.
I'm starting to like this.
Would you like to
do one of those dips?
Do you mind if I cut in?
Yeah.
Well why don't you ask if Pat minds?
- Do you mind?
- I mind!
Pat minds!
Hey there, look, sweetheart, him
and me are very tight.
We are gonna pick out drapes next week.
I don't think I like you.
You're holding my wrist.
- I don't think I like you.
- You already said that.
We don't want any trouble.
Oh, she's so strong.
Why don't you just
leave us alone, okay?
I like it when they're strong.
Why don't you put that away, okay?
Oh, are you going to hurt me, lover?
Hey, what's your problem?
Take it easy, chickadee.
Oh, what's the matter lover?
Aren't you going to hurt me?
This is getting outta hand. Let's get the door.
No, you're not going anywhere!
- Go to the door.
- Okay okay okay.
Everybody cool it.
Cool it, we are police cops here.
Cool it, we are cops
- There's no trouble here.
- Relax, we are the police.
That damn crazy fagot took
a hunk out of my leg.
Geez.
What's
it all coming to, man?
Where is it coming to?
Are you OK?
Yeah. Yeah.
And that's what I
call a nightmare.
- Ugly. Ugly.
-Are you guys OK?
Oh, yeah, yeah, I
thought we lost these.
Hey, you better have a
doctor look at that.
Oh yeah, thanks a lot.
Boy, those boofs are something.
I think I'm going to fart.
"Dear mom and dad.
How are you?"
"I'm swell. A fag ate my leg."
Your son, Michael.
Oh boy.
Checking out.
Right.
Hey, they give the Rams
six points on Sunday.
Take it. Vegas is giving five.
Is that so?
Look, there's that trick book, ah... the hooker's name's Jackie.
- Can I see it?
- Sure sure.
Only giving five in Vegas, huh?
Maybe you are right.
I think I'll bet it.
Don't bet too much.
Hey, this isn't the...
The pages are empty.
It's not the book I brought in.
It looks like a book to me.
Yeah, well, it's a book,
but it's not the one I brought in.
Can I have the one I brought in?
It says here: "One black
loose-leaf notebook."
That's not it.
All I know is what it says here.
Look, will you cut the shit?
- Well, what do you want from me?
- I want the book, dammit!
- He doesn't know.
- He knows, everybody knows.
Come on let's go.
What's your name?
Magenta.
Magenta?
- Is that your name?
- Yes.
That's your legal name?
No.
You mind telling
me what your legal name is?
Connors. Harold Connors.
Harold? Harold, uh, do you
always like to dress up like that?
You know you're in a fair amount of trouble, don't you, Harold?
Do you know what
they did to me last night?
No, Harold.
What did they do
to you last night?
Put me in a cell... with
a whole bunch of animals.
From what I hear, Harold,
you and your friends
can take pretty good
care of yourselves.
You. What is your name?
Your legal name?
Philip Lampson.
Harold? Harold?
Do you have to hold
Philip's hand in my court?
Now do you two people have attorneys?
Uh, I am representing them, Your Honor.
Ah, Mr. Crosby, it's
nice to see you again.
Thank you, Your Honor.
Do your clients know their rights?
Yes, they do, Your Honor.
And they know they have been violated.
Really, Mr. Crosby?
They have been subjected to harassment and brutality by the police.
They have been beaten, humiliated...
I'm sure the have, Mr. Crosby.
Do they have bail?
Yes, they have, Your Honor.
I would like to say...
I'm sure you would, Mr. Crosby.
The defendants are
released on 250 dollars bail.
There will be a preliminary
hearing in two weeks from today.
- Your Honor, I would like...
- I said, two weeks.
Apparently you didn't
hear me, Mr. Crosby.
I have a full calendar here.
I would like to get through it
before the day is over.
You may leave now.
Oh, and tell your
customers not to
break their high
heels on the way out of here.
The City of Los Angeles
vs. Jacqueline Faraday.
Are you Mrs. Faraday?
Yes, Your Honor.
Mr. Weldman, are you
representing Mrs. Faraday?
I am, Your Honor.
Are you the arresting officer?
Yes, Your Honor.
Um, Kennedy?
Keneely.
Your Honor, I realize
that it is a bit unusual
to hold a preliminary
hearing this quickly.
However, I feel my
client need not have these
charges hanging over her head
any longer than is necessary.
I would like to thank the
court for expediting the matter.
Certainly.
Your Honor, there is a... point
of ambivalence in this case.
Rather than have Detective
Keneely read his entire report
to save time, I suggest
we address ourselves to that point.
Detective Keneely, do you have
any objection to, um... Mr. Weldman's suggestion?
No.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Can you speak up?
No no no no.
And would you, ah, please step
forward and take the stand?
Detective...
Did you specifically hear Mrs. Faraday
make a indecent proposition to you?
I'm not sure.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Can you please speak louder please?
I'm not sure.
Did Ms. Faraday
specifically state she
would perform an
act of a sexual nature
for a specified amount of money?
- No.
- Louder please.
No.
Thank you, Detective.
Your Honor, there is clearly
insufficient grounds here.
I ask that the case be dismissed.
Your request is granted.
And I would like to
know why with so little evidence this case
was brought before me?
I don't know.
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America.
And to the Republic
for which it stands.
One nation under God, with
liberty and
justice for all.
Amen.
Get out of here, man.
Take a walk, get lost.
- Get lost.
- What the fuck is this, man?
Go on down the road man.
Okay, he is here.
I have arrived.
Oh, cover that up.
Fifty cents deposit if you
want to look at the books.
It's refundable toward a purchase.
You talking to me?
Got 50 cents right here.
Tails again.
I was interested in
one of your massages.
Ah, you've gotta bad back?
Well, it wasn't my back that I
was thinking about getting massaged.
Will you look at that? Some
dudes need all the
help they can get, huh.
Massage costs 20 dollars.
20 bucks?
Must be pretty good for 20 bucks.
We have had no complaints.
- Got some pictures?
- Oh, sure we do.
Here. Take a look.
Hey, come on.
Don't get it dirty.
Well, this one here
looks pretty cute.
- What is her name?
-Doris.
Doris. Well, she must be
pretty good for 20 bucks.
- The best.
- Okay.
Point me out to old Doris, I
will make history tonight.
Which way? Do I go in the back?
Usually in the back. Which way?
Which way? Come on.
- The room back there.
- The room back there.
Okay, if you hear an
explosion, you'll know it's me.
Hi.
Howdy Doris!
Hello.
Well, you're even prettier than your picture.
You can hang your
clothes on the hangers.
Thank you.
What kind of massage did
you say I would get for $20?
You get a regular
massage, nothing more.
Look at my nose.
Huh?
It's a terrific nose.
Wear it in good health.
It can smell a vice
cop at a 100 feet.
What are you talking about?
I just came in
here to buy a book.
Ah, what are you doing here?
You know you're not
supposed to come around here.
I came to buy a book.
Alright, take anything you want, it's on the house.
Thanks.
Don't take your time.
Listen honey, if I just wanted a
regular massage, you know,
I would have gone to a gym.
You know what I mean?
If you want something
special, the price is different.
Hey sugar, just because
I'm a dude from out of
town, don't go treating me
like no yokel, you hear?
How much more do you have in mind?
A hand job is an extra ten.
A straight lay is 25.
Twenty-five, huh?
Well, I've got me another 25 and uh...
Hey, Doris, honey.
Yes?
Sorry to have to tell you this,
but uh... you're under arrest.
I'll trick for you
if you let me go.
Well, maybe in some other life.
Where you getting the stuff from?
These are old marks.
I kicked two years ago.
Sure you did.
Hey, Farrell!
Get out of here, honey.
Keneely!
The girl is a junkie and she
said this cutie pie here is the supplier.
Where's the stuff, Marvin?
- I didn't tell him anything.
- Hey, don't be stupid.
Where's the stuff, Marvin?
Broad's full of shit.
I never gave her anything.
- Go away.
- Come on, he won't hurt you.
Come on. It is OK.
If the girl's
telling the truth,
you're in a lot of trouble, Marvin.
Yeah, you're going to
be in trouble.
Mr. Rizzo doesn't like
people bothering his places.
Oh yeah?
I got a right to make a phone call.
You don't got a right to breathe.
You lay a finger on me and I'll sue your ass.
I'm laying more than one finger on you.
There's no stuff here.
Oh yeah? Well, we'll
find it, won't we, Marvin?
Yeah, I need a warrant.
That creep back there has got a lot of dope in his house.
How do you know?
How do I know?
How do I know? I know.
Do you know what time it is?
It's one o'clock Sarge. Why?
Do you think I'm going
to wake up Judge
Morrison for a warrant at one o'clock in the morning
Because you think some guy
has drugs in their apartment?
Hey, we need a warrant.
And if I wake Morrison
and ask him for a
warrant and it turns out that
you guys can't find anything,
I get creamed.
We need a warrant.
The girl in there has
tracks on both her arms.
And that fat tub holding a ton of dope.
- You think?
- I know!
Not for sure!
What do you want, sarge?
Reasonable cause.
I want more than your god damn hunch
before I wake up Judge Morrison!
Look for the shit in the morning.
We can get the warrant in the morning.
In the morning
that guy will be on
the streets before the
courthouse opens,
and he will clean up
and it will be your fault.
I'm sorry.
I am not going to wake Judge
Morrison at one o'clock in the morning, period!
I'm not gonna wake up Judge Morrison, period.
I wouldn't wake up
a judge for the world.
What is that?
Baby powder.
That's your actual
jackpot, brother.
Okay, everybody...
Just cool it, don't panic.
get down everybody! Stay down.
We are police officers. Stay down.
Get down.
Get down. Get down, everybody.
Stay down.
Right there!
Hold it!
I'll blow her damn head off.
- Whatya got?
- They're up here.
- Come on, let's get them.
- No hold it man, Hold it, Hold it.
We got 'em. Let me get help.
We got 'em.
Just sit tight. I'll make a call.
I'll make a call.
Where the hell's everybody else?
They are back at the market.
What the hell happened?
A whole bunch.
And the bastards
responsible for it are up there.
- Where are they?
- I don't know. There's three stories.
Any way out the back?
Yeah, my partner's on the fire escape.
Okay, you two take the
back, we'll go up the front.
Alright, now give me a minute.
There's two of them,
they are both armed.
- What happened?
- There's no one up there.
What are you talking about
"no one up there"?
Place is clean.
Well, we saw them go into the building.
Well, you may have
seen them go in, but
but I guess you just
didn't see them go out.
No one came out of the building.
Let's check some of
these other buildings.
Look man, they're in the building.
Okay, look, you guys
just stay here, okay? Right.
And pay attention, we're going to go
back out front and double check.
- That's a waste of time.
- Hey, while we're farting around here
with an empty building, they have time
- to get outta the area.
- Just stay right there
and fart for another
five minutes.
Now watch it!
He think it's a waste of time.
Hey, get out of here.
Hey, rummy, don't shoot me.
Hey, down there it's a wrap. I checked it.
Are you alive?
Any lights in here?
At least got one of 'em.
Hmmm.
I think the Mayor's brother said, should have got the other guy.
Are you guys alright?
Sure
Yeah, yeah,
where's the white dude?
- Where's the man who ran out?
- He got away.
He got away? What do you mean?
How could he get away?
You guys is standing right there.
He had to go right by you.
I don't know. We fired at him.
I guess we just missed him.
Just missed him?
What are you guys playing with yourselves?
Why aren't you running after him?
Why aren't you pursuing him?
We heard shooting, thought you
needed help, so
we went around the front.
- You guys let him get away.
- Aw come on.
- This is crazy.
- These puppets over here let him get away.
What do you mean "it's crazy"?
Why didn't you see
them in the first place?
Look, I went through every
room and I didn't see nobody.
You. You. Pigs, man.
What are you scared of getting
shot or something?
Hey, hey, calm down, will ya?
- I have to put a bullet in your head.
- You don't know anything.
Relax, they don't know anything.
Come on, we were trying to help.
-Easy, easy, easy.
- We almost got killed in there.
You... pigs.
Get out of here you dirt comet...
Will you get the hell out of here!
Come on, Keneely, let's go man.
It's alright.
They don't know nothing.
Come on let's go. Atta boy.
Cool out, man, cool out.
They know nothing.
You guys had a busy night.
Look, I know how much guts
it took to go after those guys.
Do you know who I've been
on the phone with all morning?
The Commissioner.
The god damn Commissioner.
I got my ass reamed for half an hour.
For Christ's sake, in the
middle of the damn market.
Do you know how many
people could have been killed?
Look, if I'm not mistaken,
there were three guys
- shootin' their guns at us!
- Yes, he's right, Sarge.
I was there. I saw it all.
What happened to that
junkie girl, and uh... Marvin?
They were out on bail an hour
after you brought 'em in.
- Who sprung 'em?
- Weldman.
He was there with
his $300 dollar suit and
enough bonds to empty
every jail in California.
Did anyone search the joint?
We got a warrant in the
morning, which is
more than you guys did.
The place was clean.
How come Carletti
and Hyatt aren't in here now?
They weren't shooting at people in
the middle of the damn market.
Oh yeah, they were just letting the guys
who were
doing the shooting get away.
- I didn't hear that.
- I said, they were just lettin' the guys..
I didn't hear that!
Now. We've been gettin' some
complaints about some
perverts in the men's
room at the park.
- What?
- Why don't you guys, eh...
take a few days
and check it out.
Aren't you going to offer us a cigar now?
Look, wise ass, you are
not the only cop in the world!
Yeah, you know everything and
everyone's a shit except you.
Well, let me tell you something.
I'm not a king, see.
I don't control everything
that goes on around here, understand?
I know some things stink.
Well, what do you want me to do about it?
I got a damn phone on
my desk and it goes upstairs.
And when it rings, I answer it
and say, Yes, sir. Period!
The uh, the captain
wanted me to tell you guys that uh
as soon as things calms down a little,
he's a, putting you guys up for a citation.
Along with Carletti and Hyatt.
Why'd you guys go in that
massage parlor in the first place?
You knew you shouldn't
have been there.
Yeah, we didn't know
when we went in, so you
can offer our deepest
apologies to Mr. Rizzo,
and you can give
him a kiss on the butt.
Hey, sucker.
Hello, Mr. Sink.
Mr. Soap. Hello, Urinals.
How you doing, Kilroy?
Ah, a bunch of toilet seats.
Looks like my office.
Mr. President.
Yoo Hoo!
Sweetheart, if you're a sex
maniac, I'd cool it.
The place is crawling with cops.
My goodness.
Do you want to hear something funny?
When I first became
a cop, right?
My mother used to uh,
wash my uniformed shirts by hand.
So I used to tell her,
"Hey, Lucy, you're crazy."
I can send them
to a laundry.
And she said,
No, no, no, no, no.
"It gives me pleasure."
She loved doing it.
Crazy lady.
So, my first beat, they had me
checking locks
on the West Side.
All night long checking dumb locks on warehouses
nobody wanted to
break into in the first place.
You know, I checked
every fucking lock three times.
Once wasn't good enough.
Every fucking lock three times.
Then they had me standin' in front of the
Museum of Natural History,
16 hours a day.
Never sat down once.
Uh uh.
Nobody ever stole that museum
when Keneely was standing in front of it.
I did everything they asked, man.
Never complained.
Didn't care what it was.
Did it better than anyone else.
And I loved it. I really did.
See, now I come
home at night, right?
Thinking, Hey, you did the best job at checking locks and
and standing in front of buildings
than anybody in the world.
And uh.
I find a fresh pile of clean shirts
that my mother ironed for me.
I don't know, maybe
we should quit.
I think you're right.
We could be good
bad guys, you know?
Pay's better. Better hours.
More cooperation from the police.
Well, the Sarge said it.
It's Rizzo, man.
He owns the massage
parlor, Marvin works for Rizzo.
That hooker, what's her name?
- Jackie.
- Yeah.
Her lawyer is Weldman.
Marvin's lawyer is Weldman.
Weldman works for Rizzo.
There's a white guy running around the streets
with a load of dope
in his apartment.
And nobody wants to bust him.
And here we are in the shitter.
Why?
Because Rizzo makes a
phone call and puts the heat on.
Tell me something, how come Rizzo's
out there running around getting
rich and you and me
are in the toilet, huh?
You know.
Fact of the matter is...
We uh, get off here at five thirty
and can't nobody complain if we just happen
to drift around the streets together.
Hey, how many Z's
are in Rizzo, one or two?
Two.
You know, he belongs in here, not me.
Yeah, well, that's the way
the tickets fall, partner.
We're gonna nail that guy.
We've gotta be cool though.
The captain wants us off the streets.
Yeah, well, we just
have to stay on the sidewalk.
Champ, how ya doin'?
Excuse me.
How are you doing there, Mr. Rizzo?
- My name is Farrel. That's Keneely.
- So what?
Don't you want to know
what we're doing here?
I gotta feeling like you're tell me even though I'm not interested.
You figured right.
We are the vice cops.
No really?
You know, we're tired
of working in the toilets.
Well, nobody starts at the top.
Tell me, you
always get this excited?
Well, my doctor tells me to take it easy.
I am carrying too much weight.
Besides, I think I pay enough.
I don't have to worry
about two hungry cops, out for themselves.
Don't you wish it
were that easy, pal?
You can't buy us,
and you know it.
- I'm all chumped up!
- You sound it.
Two of your boys
got snuffed the other night and
you looking at the
cowboys who planned it.
Only, one of them
got away, didn't he?
Yep? My boys, huh?
- Yeah. They buy your dope for you.
- I don't sell dope.
What, do ya give it away?
I figured we busted
up a big score for you
and you know what
else I'm betting?
I bet you need to score
again, big and fast.
Bad bet.
We're gonna be there
when you do, fat boy.
Good for you.
When was it that I made
this alleged drug connection?
- Three days ago.
- Three days ago,
I was in the hospital.
I have a heart condition.
- You can check on that.
- OK, I will.
You've been watching
too many moving picture films.
Does that kid belong to you?
He belongs to me.
You really think you're hot, don't you?
At least I'm not small time.
What do you tell your kids you do for a living?
Oh, come on, stop it, huh.
My kids are well
fed and they are happy.
They live in a big, big house.
They get everything they want.
What do you guys have, huh?
Do you want me to feel ashamed?
Because of what?
Because some broad takes
off her top in a club?
I don't see my customers hiding
their eyes in their hands.
Why? Because a certain
John wants to spend a few nice minutes
with a trick in his hotel room?
What's so bad about that, huh?
What are you saving yourself
for, your wedding night?
You guys sit in your public
toilet, you
figured it all out, right?
I got where I am by having
punks like you for breakfast.
I'll tell you something.
There is one big difference
between you and us.
That is a relief.
Yeah, you know what it is?
You're greedy, man.
You want it all.
And all we want is you.
Come and get me.
We sure made
mincemeat out of him.
You know, that grease ball
is acting too confident.
He's not Fred Astaire.
He's just not that
smooth, you know?
We've gotta flush him out.
Please don't use
the word "flush" in these premises.
He's going to make a move soon, I know it.
Well, let's hassle him a little bit.
We oughta bust the Electra.
He'd choke if we busted the Electra.
Yeah, so would the captain.
Yeah, well, that's her problem.
That's funny. I thought
it was our problem.
Is that the one who
does the trick with the cigarette?
That's the one.
Wow!
Dy-no-mite talent!
- Sensitive girl.
- Who? Do you know her?
I can't forget her.
Oh. Hey, does she have a friend?
Oh, here he is now.
How ya doing?
What's vice doing here?
What do you mean? We just coming
here to get a little culture.
And watch the girl with the big jugs.
Give these guys a few
drinks on the house.
No, let me say this about that.
We like to pay
for our own drinks.
Thank you very much.
Youre not even supposed to be here.
Oh. He says we're
not supposed be here.
Then what are we supposed to do?
We're supposed to sit right
here and watch the girl
with the big jugs do
the trick with the cigarette.
That's a good idea.
- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
Ah, Sir? We're gonna stay.
You know you're not
supposed to be here.
What do you mean by that?
Just because we are vice squad?
I mean, just because
we have, you know,
morals, doesn't mean
we can't come in here
and get some good entertainment.
Aren't you aware
that young lady has
her mammary glands exposed to
this entire congregation?
Is that legal, sir?
- Is it?
- Where's your cabaret license?
- Just knock this shit off.
- Where's your cabaret license?
It's on the wall.
Why isnt it over the
bar where it supposed to be?
Ah, these freekos, man.
These freekos.
It's too dark up there,
I need a little light.
- Hey, partner, you got any light?
- Light, light, flying in light.
I can't see it.
A chair to see it.
Ah Sir, we're from the
vice squad and my
friend wants to read
what's going on up there,
to see if it's legal for
that lady to doing what
she's doing in front
of all these people.
- How we got it?
- Well, they got a cabaret license in this dive.
Wrong again.
Everything seems
to be in order, my friend.
So it's okay.
You tell Mr. Rizzo that the Smith brothers say hi.
Hey how you doing?
I haven't seen you since we
busted the place downtown.
Miss. Miss.
Ahhh.....
There ain't nobody here.
I wonder what that asshole's
doing coming home so early?
It's just eight o'clock.
Maybe he doesn't want
to miss Gomer Pyle.
I guess we ought to hang around
and see if he gets any visitors.
Wake up dear.
Today is the first day
of the rest of your life.
It's after seven.
Hey uh, you recognize Rizzo's girlfriend over there?
Yes, he looks familiar.
Who is he?
Imagine you're sitting in
the middle of a bunch of
fruits and vegetables and
somebodys shootin' at ya.
Yeah.
He has to get ready
to score for sure.
We got to do it soon.
- That is very good. Very good.
- Thank you.
Quite welcome.
Hey how ya doing?
Hey, I see you two guys climbed
out of a urinal for a couple hours, huh?
- Hey, you enjoying the fights?
- I got good seats.
Hey, we stopped by your
place yesterday.
What place is that?
The Electra. Dynamite house.
- Glad you liked it.
- We saw your friend.
I've got a lot of friends.
Yeah, this is the guy
who buys your dope.
We saw you chattin' with him downstairs.
Yeah, you're going to score soon, big, huh?
Score?
You guys use a lot of grown up words.
Rizzo, we gonna close you you down.
We're gonna stick to you
like your underwear.
You got my permission to try.
Good, 'cause we wouldn't want
to do nothin' without
your permission.
I don't blame you.
You guys want to take
regular seats and enjoy the fights?
No thanks.
- You can learn something.
- Yeah, like what?
I don't know.
It's an interesting game.
You know, you gotta know
what you're doing, otherwise
you get your head busted playing in there.
You nervous?
I don't get nervous.
I've been working at it too long.
We all know that.
You know what's funny?
What's really funny
is that you two guys
really think you're
doing something.
I mean, you go around busting 10 dollar hookers,
and beating up on fagots. For what?
For 200 bucks a week, right?
And you act like Captain Marvel or somebody.
You really think you
can sneak around and get Rizzo?
Huh, is that what you think?
Take a look down there.
You see those little people
all paid to get in?
You see those little
two monkeys in there
beating their brains out inside the ring?
You think I got where I am by
letting punks like you get me?
- You're playing with yourselves.
- It's going to happen, Spanky.
We're going to bust your ass.
Captain Marvel saving the
world by busting 10 dollar hookers.
Watch out for your cape, Captain.
Make sure it doesn't get caught in places it shouldn't be.
- It is going to happen.
- Shazam.
Two three four...
The man's gonna have to be
making a purchase real soon.
We're gonna be there when he does.
What if he spooks, he gets somebody to make it for him?
- Where are we then?
- Look, you're puttin' out that kinda bread,
I don't care who you are,
you're going to be there
to tasting or smellin'.
We're going to press
that guy 'til he falls.
He's going to wash his face,
we're going to give him the soap.
I'm with you brother, I'm with you.
I'm also hungry.
You want a burger?
- No, get me a pack of gum.
- Yeah.
Hello honey, you
looking for a good time?
Hey, how ya doin', momma?
- Fifty.
- Fifty, huh?
For a good time?
Well, I got 20 dollars for that.
You sure are a cheap honky.
I know that.
- Thirty-five.
- Thirty-five bucks, huh?
Well, I don't want to negotiate
with you, I got twenty-seven fifty.
- Can you afford a cab?
- You bet.
Hey, honey, put that in
a bag for me, will ya?
- Coming? Good.
- Here.
Thank you, keep the change.
Oh, it's a spiffy
place you got here.
Yeah, ain't it?
So, what do I get for twenty-seven fifty?
You get a good time, honey.
Oh yeah? Well, I sure
could use a good time.
Why don't you, ah, lie down and
make yourself comfortable?
Okay, I think I'll just lie down
and make myself comfortable.
Oh, yeah, that's great.
I know honey.
That's incredible.
I know honey.
Turn around, honey.
Hello, Keneely.
You know what, Keneely?
I've got a message for ya.
From a friend.
He said...
Shazam.
That's all.
Shazam.
Can ya dig it?
Hey, Farrell.
Hey, partner, I got spiked.
Hey, you cop you, I
just got raped, you mother, I just...
Going to sleep on me now, huh?
Empire State Building
just fell on my head.
Hey, come on, don't go to sleep on me...
Oh God.
We gotta get to a hospital, man.
Oh, no, it's my fault
it happened, man.
Well don't they know who we are, man.
Listen...
We just gotta stay alive,
man, just gotta stay alive.
The captain was very
worried about you guys.
He said that he was
more concerned for
the safety of his men
than with anything else.
And uh, he said that you two
would carry your dedication
to the point where you're
endangering your own safety.
Well, we can take care of ourselves.
Yeah? Look in the
mirror and tell me that, huh.
The captain thinks it's
best if you two were split up.
You know, you are
each experienced vice officers
and you could really be
helping two newer men.
Then we'd have two
good teams instead of just one.
Well, what do you want from me?
I'm in the middle
and you know it.
What the hell can I do?
You guys had to bust
Rizzo's place, right?
You had to follow him around, right?
Hell, you are good
guys, you really are.
I know how you feel.
Maybe I'll do the same
myself, I don't know.
But you gotta see where I am in this.
Do you know what they
wanted to do to you?
You want to know, huh?
Bust ya, that's what.
Well, I stopped them
and it wasn't easy.
Now my ass is in the sling
if you guys step outta line again.
So please... cool it for a while, huh.
You can pick up your new
partners in the squad room.
I understand that vitamin E
will clear this up almost overnight.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Well, did you think I outta maybe
have like a stronger attitude.
You drive wonderfully,
really...
- Well...
- Don't get none tickets.
I'll see you later.
Have a good weekend.
You have a good time.
- How ya feelin'?
- Oh, just terrific.
I'm really tired of my lunch
through a straw, if
you know what I mean.
You know, everybody got
somebody at the other end of the phone.
The sarge got the captain.
The captain got Rizzo,
Rizzo got somebody else.
We're so fuckin' alone in this thing,
it ain't even a joke.
Ain't nobody gonna help us
- You know that, don't you?
- Yup, I know that.
Well, what do you want to do this weekend?
Sounds like a good idea.
Then was Jesus was
led up to the Spirit into
the wilderness to be
tempted by the devil.
And when he had fasted 40 days
and 40 nights, he
was afterward hungry.
And when the tempter
came to him, he said,
If thou be the Son
of God,
command that these stones
be made bread.
"But he answered
and said, It is written,
Man shall not live by
bread alone, but by every
word that proceeds out
of the mouth of God.
Then the devil taketh
them up into the Holy City
and sitteth Him on a
pinnacle of the temple.
"And saideth unto him,
If Thou be the Son of
God, cast thyself down.
For it is written, He shall give
his angels charge concerning thee.
And in their hands they shall
bear thee up, lest at any time now.
He'll miss the part
where they killed the goat.
"Jesus said unto him, It is..."
Wouldn't you think
the man would at least
have had the decency to
stay for the sermon?
The Lord gonna
smoke his ass.
With lightning.
Come on, Anthony, down here.
Come on, you
sit by your mother.
- I want chocolate chip.
- I want a double scoop.
One chocolate, one strawberry.
I want chocolate chip.
You can have ice cream
after you finish your lunch.
I don't want lunch,
I want ice cream.
Me, too.
You do what your mother told you, alright?
What, what are you looking at?
What are you so quiet for now?
Relax.
Waitress.
-Ain't you hungry yet, man?
- No not yet.
I'm starving.
- Piece of gum?
- Terrific.
- Here.
- You got any ketchup?
Oh, here she comes.
Mr. Rizzo, sir.
Very good to see you.
Good evening, Mr. Dynamite.
Very nice to see you.
- May we clean the car for ya?
- Check the oil? Check the oil?
Service! Service with a smile!
Yay!
- Happy birthday Carl.
- Happy birthday Carl.
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
Which nobody can deny!
Which nobody can deny!
Which nobody can deny!
Happy birthday.
What a touching scene.
He is crying. It's his birthday.
Cut the cake.
I'm going to give him a present.
No, let's don't embarrass him.
Here we go.
This one's for you, honey.
Hey, watch it, watch it.
It costs a lot of money.
- Who paid for it? You?
- Of course.
Okay, keep it going. Pass it down.
What the...
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
Which nobody can deny!
And nobody can deny!
That nobody can deny!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
- Which nobody......
- Hey, Rizzo, close your
eyes and make a wish.
He's gotta make his buy now, man.
He's got to.
Yes, well somebody
should tell him that.
Somebody's sick or somethin'.
Hey how you doin'?
Two gentlemen, Mr. Weldman.
You miserable bastards!
Do you think you guys can get away
with this? Well, you're wrong!
You're so god damn wrong!
You knew he had
a heart condition.
What are you talking about?
You know, it's gonna be a
pleasure to sue you two
for everything you
have or ever will have.
I'll tell you one thing...
you better pray for
his complete recovery.
That's what you better do.
Pray! For his complete recovery.
He had to suspend you.
What the hell do you think he'd do?
Eh?
You guys want a peanut?
No, I can't chew.
I need some...
The commissioner is just thrilled.
Oh, he is delirious!
You know, Rizzo is a heavy contributor
to the Saint Agnes Orphanage
and he's also a member of the
directors of the Civic Opera.
Oh, it's just beautiful.
He had to have a heart
attack right now, huh?
Smart guy. Real convenient, right?
We were gonna nail him, man.
He was gettin' nervous
to score, I know it.
I hope he dies.
You know I did
everything I could.
Say, why don't you guys
come in out of the rain, huh?
What rain?
That creep Weldman, right?
That guy's a poser
acting like some lawyer.
He's trying to
sell to us that Rizzo's
got a case history of having a heart condition.
- He ain't got no heart.
- Hey didn't he go to the hospital once?
Rizzo told us he went to
the hospital, right?
- Sure.
- When was it?
It was, uh, after the shootout, right?
- Yeah.
- It was during the shootout.
It was, that was his alibi.
Hey, what is that?
A guy goes to the hospital
every time he's gonna score?
- You gettin' any message?
- I'm gettin' a lot of messages.
- We're dumb, that's the message.
- I'm not hearing anything of this.
We're dumb.
You know, this isn't
kid's game anymore.
You guys can get killed! You're crazy!
You know it?
Can I help you?
Yes, I'm looking
for Mr. Rizzo's room.
Oh, Mr. Rizzo is in 5B1.
Oh yeah, where's that?
I'm sorry, you
can't go in there.
He is under private care.
There are no visitors allowed.
Gotcha.
Let's stick around.
Who's that?
More flowers.
Well, I'm getting tired.
Hey, what if we're not right?
I don't even want to think about that.
- You want some coffee?
- No.
Boy, you know, that guy
gets an awful lot of flowers.
Even for uh, being on
the board of the opera.
Think so?
Yeah. You notice what
kind of flowers they are?
- Flowers are flowers.
- No, no, they're in pots.
Deep pots.
Something else funny.
People go visit him and they walk
out with a pot of flowers.
He could give
away an awful lot of
flowers, no one
knows what's going on.
Excuse me.
I gotta call my mother.
It is very important.
Thank you.
Hello, can you give me the, uh...
flower shop
downstairs, please?
Thank you.
Uh, hello. You guys.
This is um, Mr. Rizzo in 5B1.
Ah yeah, hey you guys
just sent over some pots
of flowers and uh...
No, they're terrific.
And I love 'em, but, one of
the pots is cracked,
the water is leaking, you
know? It's very messy.
You what?
You didn't send no flowers
today to Mr. Rizzo?
Thank you very much.
You? How can you come in here?
How ya doin'?
He's getting along.
Get out of here!
Leave my husband alone.
Excuse me, Mrs.
Rizzo, we just have to check
something and we'll
be gone in just a minute.
Did you ring, Mrs. Rizzo?
- These men!
- Oh I'm Sorry, you'll have to leave.
No one's allowed here except the immediate family.
Well, that's not immediate family.
That's a creep.
Please get them out of here.
Look, I'm sorry, but
you'll have to leave.
As soon as we check something out,
we'll be gone in a minute.
Boy, boy, you gotta lot of
nice flowers here, Spanky.
Take it easy.
Watch out!
Take another step and
you've got a dead nurse.
Get out. And leave her here. Get out!
Rizzo!
Rizzo! Hey, run for it! Go ahead.
Come on, run, fat boy...
Come on, run.
Come on, get up and run!
Congratulations,
Captain, I give up.
You got Rizzo, huh?
Oooh!
So what the hell do you think you got?
What do you think
the charge is gonna be?
Having narcotics in a hospital room?
They're not my narcotics.
I didn't bring them there.
Prove I did.
So what next, huh?
I get a year. Maybe.
A year.
So I change my
business address for a year.
Then I'm back. Meantime,
you two slobs are hanging
out in your sewer making
peanuts and I got a vacation.
I could use a vacation.
What?
Pull the trigger, go on.
Complete the job.
Last name?
-Keneely.
- Is that ELE or EEL?
EEL.
- First name?
-Michael.
- Married or single?
-Single.
- Previous employer?
- the uh, LA police department.
- Length of employment?
- Eleven years.
Reasons for termination of employment?
- Huh?
- Uh, why'd ya leave?
Oh I don't know.
I'm sorry, could you please be more specific?
Yeah, um, more specific, um...
Oh, I needed a change,
you know? Change.
Take this if you could, Mr. Keneely,
to the personnel department.
It's down the hall.
It's the third
door on your left.
Third door on the left. Gotcha.
Doctor Bickman would like to see me in two weeks.
Certainly, Mrs. Rosen.
Two weeks, two weeks... uhhh.....
Tuesday the 23rd at 3:30.
Would that be alright?
Tuesday, yeah, that'll be alright.
I feel terrible.
Thank you, Mrs. Rosen.
Doctor Bickman will see you now.
- Hello, Jackie.
- Hello, Dr. Bickman.
I'll be right with you.
Oh thanks.
Ah, that's a very pretty
dress you're wearing.
- Thank you.
- Very becoming.
- Here we are.
- Thank you.
You're in uh, the best health.
I know, thank you.
You have very beautiful skin.
You really ought to be complimented on the way that...
you've taken care of your skin.
Thank you.
Do you have an appointment?
No.
Well, well, I'm sorry. Doctor Bickman's
schedule is rather full.
That's OK.
You see, I had a filling here
It fell out, you know?
Would you like to make an appointment?
- No.
- Doctor Bickman is with a patient.
It's OK. Thank you.
Hey, how you doing?
Who are you and what are you doing here?
I'm Mr. Keneely and
this here is Mr. Farrel.
- How are you?
- What's wrong with you?
you coming in barging in here like this?
We'd like to talk to you for a minute.
Don't you see I have a patient?
How you doing?
Stick of gum?
We'd like to talk to you
about a girl named Jackie.
Oh, Jackie's liable to get you written up in all the dental journals.
There is another office
where we can talk.
It's right this way. Um...
I'll be right back, Mrs. Storch.
She might even get your face in the cover.
Take it easy, Mrs. Storch.
Really do it in the chair?
I do not know what you're talking about.
Good doctor, please,
now wait a minute.
Before we bullshit each other
into the middle of next week...
there's a couple things you gotta know.
First of all, we know who she is.
Jackie? We know why she
comes here every Tuesday
and we know what she
does when she is here.
- In the chair.
- Oh, no, no, no.
How would you know anything
about her or me for that matter?
We've had a tap on her
phone for over a month.
Honest.
That's illegal.
I knew we shouldn't
have done it.
You got a waste basket I
can throw this in?
Yes there's one right over there.
- Doctor?
- Yeah.
Listen, we really don't want
to make any trouble for you. Really.
All we want to do is get the girl.
Personally, I don't blame
you because she's a knock out.
I'm in love with her,
but we do have nail her.
I think I don't think I want to
answer any of your questions.
Well, look, I'm going to
make a date with her.
I'm going to tell her
I'm a friend of yours.
You're no friend of mine.
Well, I certainly would like to be.
Anyway, she's going to be
calling you up to check me out.
Like any smart hooker would, right?
And you're going to tell
her everything's cool, got it?
I am not going to do any such thing.
Listen, do you have
a warrant?
- You gotta warrant?
- I don't have a warrant.
- Do you have a warrant?
- No. We don't got a warrant.
Then I think you better get outta here.
Well, we can't do that.
We don't have enough evidence
if we leave now for a conviction.
It would be embarrassing if we went
in front of the grand jury
without any evidence.
Embarrassing for me, for him,
embarrassing for you, doctor.
Pictures, television,
Walter Cronkite.
Okay, get out of here.
- No.
- Wait a minute.
- I think Dr. Bickman is right.
- Huh?
I think we oughta leave
and perhaps discuss it...
some other time... a
more comfortable place.
Oh I think you're quite right.
- Thank you.
- You're quite welcome.
Where would we feel
more comfortable?
Oh I Don't know.
Maybe at the doctor's home...
with the doctor's wife and children.
Beautiful idea. The man's got class.
Wait Wait.
Alright. Alright.
I think you men are despicable.
Oh, and you're a
Cub Scout, right?
What time you got?
Quarter to six.
Okay, I'll open the door at five to.
You got it.
Nah, make it six o'clock.
She's sorta cute.
Terrific.
Have a wonderful time.
I'm gonna sit right down here and
protect this very dangerous work.
How about if I come back tomorrow morning?
Hello there.
Hey, how you doin'?
Hi. Are you Mike?
Uh huh.
- Come on in.
- Okay.
Would you uh, like a drink?
Oh, no thanks.
It's quite a place you got here.
Thank you.
Where do you know Dr. Bickman from?
Leo?
Oh, we were in the army together.
- Oh. Where are you from?
- Chicago.
Oh, Chicago is a nice city.
Yes, if you can stand the weather.
Where in Chicago?
What do you mean, "Where in Chicago?"
Chicago.
There is the North
Side, the South Side.
- The Near North.
- The North Side.
Oh. Do you know
where Division Street is?
What are you asking
me all these questions for?
Because I think
you're a vice cop.
Vice cops? What is it? Is there a cop around here?
Listen, I don't want any trouble.
- Take it easy.
- I'll come back another time.
-There are no police here.
-If I thought there were police...
- Listen, I knew I shouldn't have come here.
- Look I told you... don't worry.
- You don't have to worry.
- I'm a respected man.
- No, it's alright.
- Maybe I'll come back some other time.
- I don't want...
- Look, don't worry.
Now, what do you want?
What I want?
Well, you said 100 bucks.
Well, 100 is for a standard job.
If you want something a little bit more...
special... then that will cost a little bit more.
Oh yeah? How much?
That all depends
on what you want.
What, you got a catalogue?
This time I'll take the standard job... this time.
Do you want me to take your clothes off?
No, no, I could uh... handle that myself.
Oh.
Is anything the matter?
Oh no, nothing's the matter.
Yeah... no?
I don't know how to tell
you this, you're under arrest.
Oh shit. Are you kidding me?
No. I wish I was.
It's after six.
Everything OK?
Do you know where
Division Street is?
Division Street is in Chicago.
Oh yeah, what part of Chicago?
What the hell do I know?
Is everything OK?
Yeah, everything's OK.
I was just asking a couple of questions.
Jackie, Farrell. Farrell, Jackie.
How ya do?
Just fine thank you.
I think your partner is a prick.
- So do I.
You better get dressed.
Oh, where's your trick book, honey?
I do not know what you're talking about.
She doesn't know what we're talking about.
I'll find the trick book.
It ain't there anyplace.
It ain't there.
Oh.
Just what the hell do you
think you're doing?
Oh, I don't know what
you're talking about.
It's in the cushion on the sofa.
Right.
I knew you'd find it.
Well, let's get going, huh.
I have another appointment at nine.
That little trick kept
everyone's rating in her book.
Very efficient.
How did the dentist do?
"Stinkaroo. Tapioca time."
I don't have it here.
What time did we bust her?
- You said it was after six.
- Okay.
She's got lollapaloozas
here, let me tell you.
Yeah, who you got?
Gelbart. That guy from the DA's office.
Yeah? How did he...
250 dollars. That's how he did.
- Man, she was a robber.
- Overcharged. Overloaded.
He should have called a cop.
You bet he should
have called a cop.
It says his specialty was
getting dressed in her underclothes.
For 250 dollars he can
wear my underwear.
Boy, I didn't write down nothin'.
What time did we
start surveillance?
- Oh, about four o'clock.
- Okay.
You won't believe this.
Belinki and Newman
made the book.
Those guys from the day shift?
How'd they do?
Good.
Terrific. I wouldn't want the
department to get a bad name.
Farrell, vice squad.
You sure?
Yeah. Okay.
Sergeant wants to see us.
Oh, good, goody, goody, goody, goody.
Would you like to sit down, Keneely?
- It's OK.
- Sit down, Keneely.
Would you like a cigar?
- Farrel?
- No, thanks, boss.
Would you like a light?
No, no, I don't smoke.
Then why you got that
thing in your mouth for?
I Don't know. I...
These cigars are for shit.
I just got a whole box full.
Sent away for them in a mail order thing...
that said they were Havanas.
You know, if this is a...
Havana, Castro can keep
that whole stinking country.
It is a shame.
Now I have to smoke that
whole stinking box of cigars.
It is a shame.
About that hooker you
busted, what's her name?
The one that was just brought in?
-Jackie.
-Jackie. Yeah, yeah, Jackie.
Well, what about her?
Someone made a phone call.
Keneely, are you sure there
wasn't entrapment involved?
Yeah I'm sure.
What kind of phone call?
The phone call doesn't matter.
It's just that this girl has
some friend someplace.
Oh yeah? Where?
It doesn't matter.
You talking about Rizzo?
Are you sure there's
no chance that you've never...
heard her specifically say what
she was gonna do for the money?
It's Rizzo.
It's the kind of mistake
any cop can make.
Nobody'd be pissed.
Happens all the time.
Judge would be delighted to throw the
case out in the morning.
You know how
overcrowded the courts are.
All you have to do
is tell the judge that
that you never heard
her say it specifically
state what she was gonna do for the money.
Then there is not enough
evidence for a conviction.
Hey, what's so special
about this hooker?
You sure you don't want a cigar?
Well, I'm glad that's settled.
Now, about tonight. We
had a complaint about that...
Sit down.
About that fruit bar The Cavern.
They got a live
show going after hours.
They lock the doors at
two and then they put it on.
You guys go in around
one thirty, and we'll have
five cars and a wagon
there at showtime.
Soon as your ready to make the bust, you open the door.
That will be our signal. Okay?
Okay.
Are you sure you
don't want a cigar?
No thanks.
Hey, you know, this
isn't a picnic for me either.
Hey, how are you, ladies?
Shove it.
Hey, look at the Electra.
Rizzo's house is really smoking tonight.
He's got a broad in there who does
a trick with a cigarette.
Hard to believe.
I wish we could
bust that place.
We couldn't even keep
one of his hookers in jail.
Big, tough cops.
Say, would you like a light?
Ah, no, no, I don't smoke.
Just a nervous habit.
Very nervous.
No thanks.
No thanks.
Hello there.
Hello there.
My name is Stephen.
Hello, Stephen.
What's your name?
Pat...Patrick.
Are you alone?
Pat's with me.
Her loss.
Come on, Patricia, let's dance.
Hey, Scheherazade, I
think we better dance.
Are you kidding me?
Come on, do you want to
stand around here for another half hour?
With your badge on your forehead?
This place isn't even gonna close up.
- I'll lead.
- Oh yeah? Come on.
If you want to dance, I'm leading.
If you want to dance, I will lead.
Hey, did you do that?
What?
Someone pinched my ass.
Are you shittin' me?
You smell quite sweet. What
kind of cologne do you use?
I wish two o'clock would get here.
I'm starting to like this.
Would you like to
do one of those dips?
Do you mind if I cut in?
Yeah.
Well why don't you ask if Pat minds?
- Do you mind?
- I mind!
Pat minds!
Hey there, look, sweetheart, him
and me are very tight.
We are gonna pick out drapes next week.
I don't think I like you.
You're holding my wrist.
- I don't think I like you.
- You already said that.
We don't want any trouble.
Oh, she's so strong.
Why don't you just
leave us alone, okay?
I like it when they're strong.
Why don't you put that away, okay?
Oh, are you going to hurt me, lover?
Hey, what's your problem?
Take it easy, chickadee.
Oh, what's the matter lover?
Aren't you going to hurt me?
This is getting outta hand. Let's get the door.
No, you're not going anywhere!
- Go to the door.
- Okay okay okay.
Everybody cool it.
Cool it, we are police cops here.
Cool it, we are cops
- There's no trouble here.
- Relax, we are the police.
That damn crazy fagot took
a hunk out of my leg.
Geez.
What's
it all coming to, man?
Where is it coming to?
Are you OK?
Yeah. Yeah.
And that's what I
call a nightmare.
- Ugly. Ugly.
-Are you guys OK?
Oh, yeah, yeah, I
thought we lost these.
Hey, you better have a
doctor look at that.
Oh yeah, thanks a lot.
Boy, those boofs are something.
I think I'm going to fart.
"Dear mom and dad.
How are you?"
"I'm swell. A fag ate my leg."
Your son, Michael.
Oh boy.
Checking out.
Right.
Hey, they give the Rams
six points on Sunday.
Take it. Vegas is giving five.
Is that so?
Look, there's that trick book, ah... the hooker's name's Jackie.
- Can I see it?
- Sure sure.
Only giving five in Vegas, huh?
Maybe you are right.
I think I'll bet it.
Don't bet too much.
Hey, this isn't the...
The pages are empty.
It's not the book I brought in.
It looks like a book to me.
Yeah, well, it's a book,
but it's not the one I brought in.
Can I have the one I brought in?
It says here: "One black
loose-leaf notebook."
That's not it.
All I know is what it says here.
Look, will you cut the shit?
- Well, what do you want from me?
- I want the book, dammit!
- He doesn't know.
- He knows, everybody knows.
Come on let's go.
What's your name?
Magenta.
Magenta?
- Is that your name?
- Yes.
That's your legal name?
No.
You mind telling
me what your legal name is?
Connors. Harold Connors.
Harold? Harold, uh, do you
always like to dress up like that?
You know you're in a fair amount of trouble, don't you, Harold?
Do you know what
they did to me last night?
No, Harold.
What did they do
to you last night?
Put me in a cell... with
a whole bunch of animals.
From what I hear, Harold,
you and your friends
can take pretty good
care of yourselves.
You. What is your name?
Your legal name?
Philip Lampson.
Harold? Harold?
Do you have to hold
Philip's hand in my court?
Now do you two people have attorneys?
Uh, I am representing them, Your Honor.
Ah, Mr. Crosby, it's
nice to see you again.
Thank you, Your Honor.
Do your clients know their rights?
Yes, they do, Your Honor.
And they know they have been violated.
Really, Mr. Crosby?
They have been subjected to harassment and brutality by the police.
They have been beaten, humiliated...
I'm sure the have, Mr. Crosby.
Do they have bail?
Yes, they have, Your Honor.
I would like to say...
I'm sure you would, Mr. Crosby.
The defendants are
released on 250 dollars bail.
There will be a preliminary
hearing in two weeks from today.
- Your Honor, I would like...
- I said, two weeks.
Apparently you didn't
hear me, Mr. Crosby.
I have a full calendar here.
I would like to get through it
before the day is over.
You may leave now.
Oh, and tell your
customers not to
break their high
heels on the way out of here.
The City of Los Angeles
vs. Jacqueline Faraday.
Are you Mrs. Faraday?
Yes, Your Honor.
Mr. Weldman, are you
representing Mrs. Faraday?
I am, Your Honor.
Are you the arresting officer?
Yes, Your Honor.
Um, Kennedy?
Keneely.
Your Honor, I realize
that it is a bit unusual
to hold a preliminary
hearing this quickly.
However, I feel my
client need not have these
charges hanging over her head
any longer than is necessary.
I would like to thank the
court for expediting the matter.
Certainly.
Your Honor, there is a... point
of ambivalence in this case.
Rather than have Detective
Keneely read his entire report
to save time, I suggest
we address ourselves to that point.
Detective Keneely, do you have
any objection to, um... Mr. Weldman's suggestion?
No.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Can you speak up?
No no no no.
And would you, ah, please step
forward and take the stand?
Detective...
Did you specifically hear Mrs. Faraday
make a indecent proposition to you?
I'm not sure.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Can you please speak louder please?
I'm not sure.
Did Ms. Faraday
specifically state she
would perform an
act of a sexual nature
for a specified amount of money?
- No.
- Louder please.
No.
Thank you, Detective.
Your Honor, there is clearly
insufficient grounds here.
I ask that the case be dismissed.
Your request is granted.
And I would like to
know why with so little evidence this case
was brought before me?
I don't know.
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America.
And to the Republic
for which it stands.
One nation under God, with
liberty and
justice for all.
Amen.
Get out of here, man.
Take a walk, get lost.
- Get lost.
- What the fuck is this, man?
Go on down the road man.
Okay, he is here.
I have arrived.
Oh, cover that up.
Fifty cents deposit if you
want to look at the books.
It's refundable toward a purchase.
You talking to me?
Got 50 cents right here.
Tails again.
I was interested in
one of your massages.
Ah, you've gotta bad back?
Well, it wasn't my back that I
was thinking about getting massaged.
Will you look at that? Some
dudes need all the
help they can get, huh.
Massage costs 20 dollars.
20 bucks?
Must be pretty good for 20 bucks.
We have had no complaints.
- Got some pictures?
- Oh, sure we do.
Here. Take a look.
Hey, come on.
Don't get it dirty.
Well, this one here
looks pretty cute.
- What is her name?
-Doris.
Doris. Well, she must be
pretty good for 20 bucks.
- The best.
- Okay.
Point me out to old Doris, I
will make history tonight.
Which way? Do I go in the back?
Usually in the back. Which way?
Which way? Come on.
- The room back there.
- The room back there.
Okay, if you hear an
explosion, you'll know it's me.
Hi.
Howdy Doris!
Hello.
Well, you're even prettier than your picture.
You can hang your
clothes on the hangers.
Thank you.
What kind of massage did
you say I would get for $20?
You get a regular
massage, nothing more.
Look at my nose.
Huh?
It's a terrific nose.
Wear it in good health.
It can smell a vice
cop at a 100 feet.
What are you talking about?
I just came in
here to buy a book.
Ah, what are you doing here?
You know you're not
supposed to come around here.
I came to buy a book.
Alright, take anything you want, it's on the house.
Thanks.
Don't take your time.
Listen honey, if I just wanted a
regular massage, you know,
I would have gone to a gym.
You know what I mean?
If you want something
special, the price is different.
Hey sugar, just because
I'm a dude from out of
town, don't go treating me
like no yokel, you hear?
How much more do you have in mind?
A hand job is an extra ten.
A straight lay is 25.
Twenty-five, huh?
Well, I've got me another 25 and uh...
Hey, Doris, honey.
Yes?
Sorry to have to tell you this,
but uh... you're under arrest.
I'll trick for you
if you let me go.
Well, maybe in some other life.
Where you getting the stuff from?
These are old marks.
I kicked two years ago.
Sure you did.
Hey, Farrell!
Get out of here, honey.
Keneely!
The girl is a junkie and she
said this cutie pie here is the supplier.
Where's the stuff, Marvin?
- I didn't tell him anything.
- Hey, don't be stupid.
Where's the stuff, Marvin?
Broad's full of shit.
I never gave her anything.
- Go away.
- Come on, he won't hurt you.
Come on. It is OK.
If the girl's
telling the truth,
you're in a lot of trouble, Marvin.
Yeah, you're going to
be in trouble.
Mr. Rizzo doesn't like
people bothering his places.
Oh yeah?
I got a right to make a phone call.
You don't got a right to breathe.
You lay a finger on me and I'll sue your ass.
I'm laying more than one finger on you.
There's no stuff here.
Oh yeah? Well, we'll
find it, won't we, Marvin?
Yeah, I need a warrant.
That creep back there has got a lot of dope in his house.
How do you know?
How do I know?
How do I know? I know.
Do you know what time it is?
It's one o'clock Sarge. Why?
Do you think I'm going
to wake up Judge
Morrison for a warrant at one o'clock in the morning
Because you think some guy
has drugs in their apartment?
Hey, we need a warrant.
And if I wake Morrison
and ask him for a
warrant and it turns out that
you guys can't find anything,
I get creamed.
We need a warrant.
The girl in there has
tracks on both her arms.
And that fat tub holding a ton of dope.
- You think?
- I know!
Not for sure!
What do you want, sarge?
Reasonable cause.
I want more than your god damn hunch
before I wake up Judge Morrison!
Look for the shit in the morning.
We can get the warrant in the morning.
In the morning
that guy will be on
the streets before the
courthouse opens,
and he will clean up
and it will be your fault.
I'm sorry.
I am not going to wake Judge
Morrison at one o'clock in the morning, period!
I'm not gonna wake up Judge Morrison, period.
I wouldn't wake up
a judge for the world.
What is that?
Baby powder.
That's your actual
jackpot, brother.
Okay, everybody...
Just cool it, don't panic.
get down everybody! Stay down.
We are police officers. Stay down.
Get down.
Get down. Get down, everybody.
Stay down.
Right there!
Hold it!
I'll blow her damn head off.
- Whatya got?
- They're up here.
- Come on, let's get them.
- No hold it man, Hold it, Hold it.
We got 'em. Let me get help.
We got 'em.
Just sit tight. I'll make a call.
I'll make a call.
Where the hell's everybody else?
They are back at the market.
What the hell happened?
A whole bunch.
And the bastards
responsible for it are up there.
- Where are they?
- I don't know. There's three stories.
Any way out the back?
Yeah, my partner's on the fire escape.
Okay, you two take the
back, we'll go up the front.
Alright, now give me a minute.
There's two of them,
they are both armed.
- What happened?
- There's no one up there.
What are you talking about
"no one up there"?
Place is clean.
Well, we saw them go into the building.
Well, you may have
seen them go in, but
but I guess you just
didn't see them go out.
No one came out of the building.
Let's check some of
these other buildings.
Look man, they're in the building.
Okay, look, you guys
just stay here, okay? Right.
And pay attention, we're going to go
back out front and double check.
- That's a waste of time.
- Hey, while we're farting around here
with an empty building, they have time
- to get outta the area.
- Just stay right there
and fart for another
five minutes.
Now watch it!
He think it's a waste of time.
Hey, get out of here.
Hey, rummy, don't shoot me.
Hey, down there it's a wrap. I checked it.
Are you alive?
Any lights in here?
At least got one of 'em.
Hmmm.
I think the Mayor's brother said, should have got the other guy.
Are you guys alright?
Sure
Yeah, yeah,
where's the white dude?
- Where's the man who ran out?
- He got away.
He got away? What do you mean?
How could he get away?
You guys is standing right there.
He had to go right by you.
I don't know. We fired at him.
I guess we just missed him.
Just missed him?
What are you guys playing with yourselves?
Why aren't you running after him?
Why aren't you pursuing him?
We heard shooting, thought you
needed help, so
we went around the front.
- You guys let him get away.
- Aw come on.
- This is crazy.
- These puppets over here let him get away.
What do you mean "it's crazy"?
Why didn't you see
them in the first place?
Look, I went through every
room and I didn't see nobody.
You. You. Pigs, man.
What are you scared of getting
shot or something?
Hey, hey, calm down, will ya?
- I have to put a bullet in your head.
- You don't know anything.
Relax, they don't know anything.
Come on, we were trying to help.
-Easy, easy, easy.
- We almost got killed in there.
You... pigs.
Get out of here you dirt comet...
Will you get the hell out of here!
Come on, Keneely, let's go man.
It's alright.
They don't know nothing.
Come on let's go. Atta boy.
Cool out, man, cool out.
They know nothing.
You guys had a busy night.
Look, I know how much guts
it took to go after those guys.
Do you know who I've been
on the phone with all morning?
The Commissioner.
The god damn Commissioner.
I got my ass reamed for half an hour.
For Christ's sake, in the
middle of the damn market.
Do you know how many
people could have been killed?
Look, if I'm not mistaken,
there were three guys
- shootin' their guns at us!
- Yes, he's right, Sarge.
I was there. I saw it all.
What happened to that
junkie girl, and uh... Marvin?
They were out on bail an hour
after you brought 'em in.
- Who sprung 'em?
- Weldman.
He was there with
his $300 dollar suit and
enough bonds to empty
every jail in California.
Did anyone search the joint?
We got a warrant in the
morning, which is
more than you guys did.
The place was clean.
How come Carletti
and Hyatt aren't in here now?
They weren't shooting at people in
the middle of the damn market.
Oh yeah, they were just letting the guys
who were
doing the shooting get away.
- I didn't hear that.
- I said, they were just lettin' the guys..
I didn't hear that!
Now. We've been gettin' some
complaints about some
perverts in the men's
room at the park.
- What?
- Why don't you guys, eh...
take a few days
and check it out.
Aren't you going to offer us a cigar now?
Look, wise ass, you are
not the only cop in the world!
Yeah, you know everything and
everyone's a shit except you.
Well, let me tell you something.
I'm not a king, see.
I don't control everything
that goes on around here, understand?
I know some things stink.
Well, what do you want me to do about it?
I got a damn phone on
my desk and it goes upstairs.
And when it rings, I answer it
and say, Yes, sir. Period!
The uh, the captain
wanted me to tell you guys that uh
as soon as things calms down a little,
he's a, putting you guys up for a citation.
Along with Carletti and Hyatt.
Why'd you guys go in that
massage parlor in the first place?
You knew you shouldn't
have been there.
Yeah, we didn't know
when we went in, so you
can offer our deepest
apologies to Mr. Rizzo,
and you can give
him a kiss on the butt.
Hey, sucker.
Hello, Mr. Sink.
Mr. Soap. Hello, Urinals.
How you doing, Kilroy?
Ah, a bunch of toilet seats.
Looks like my office.
Mr. President.
Yoo Hoo!
Sweetheart, if you're a sex
maniac, I'd cool it.
The place is crawling with cops.
My goodness.
Do you want to hear something funny?
When I first became
a cop, right?
My mother used to uh,
wash my uniformed shirts by hand.
So I used to tell her,
"Hey, Lucy, you're crazy."
I can send them
to a laundry.
And she said,
No, no, no, no, no.
"It gives me pleasure."
She loved doing it.
Crazy lady.
So, my first beat, they had me
checking locks
on the West Side.
All night long checking dumb locks on warehouses
nobody wanted to
break into in the first place.
You know, I checked
every fucking lock three times.
Once wasn't good enough.
Every fucking lock three times.
Then they had me standin' in front of the
Museum of Natural History,
16 hours a day.
Never sat down once.
Uh uh.
Nobody ever stole that museum
when Keneely was standing in front of it.
I did everything they asked, man.
Never complained.
Didn't care what it was.
Did it better than anyone else.
And I loved it. I really did.
See, now I come
home at night, right?
Thinking, Hey, you did the best job at checking locks and
and standing in front of buildings
than anybody in the world.
And uh.
I find a fresh pile of clean shirts
that my mother ironed for me.
I don't know, maybe
we should quit.
I think you're right.
We could be good
bad guys, you know?
Pay's better. Better hours.
More cooperation from the police.
Well, the Sarge said it.
It's Rizzo, man.
He owns the massage
parlor, Marvin works for Rizzo.
That hooker, what's her name?
- Jackie.
- Yeah.
Her lawyer is Weldman.
Marvin's lawyer is Weldman.
Weldman works for Rizzo.
There's a white guy running around the streets
with a load of dope
in his apartment.
And nobody wants to bust him.
And here we are in the shitter.
Why?
Because Rizzo makes a
phone call and puts the heat on.
Tell me something, how come Rizzo's
out there running around getting
rich and you and me
are in the toilet, huh?
You know.
Fact of the matter is...
We uh, get off here at five thirty
and can't nobody complain if we just happen
to drift around the streets together.
Hey, how many Z's
are in Rizzo, one or two?
Two.
You know, he belongs in here, not me.
Yeah, well, that's the way
the tickets fall, partner.
We're gonna nail that guy.
We've gotta be cool though.
The captain wants us off the streets.
Yeah, well, we just
have to stay on the sidewalk.
Champ, how ya doin'?
Excuse me.
How are you doing there, Mr. Rizzo?
- My name is Farrel. That's Keneely.
- So what?
Don't you want to know
what we're doing here?
I gotta feeling like you're tell me even though I'm not interested.
You figured right.
We are the vice cops.
No really?
You know, we're tired
of working in the toilets.
Well, nobody starts at the top.
Tell me, you
always get this excited?
Well, my doctor tells me to take it easy.
I am carrying too much weight.
Besides, I think I pay enough.
I don't have to worry
about two hungry cops, out for themselves.
Don't you wish it
were that easy, pal?
You can't buy us,
and you know it.
- I'm all chumped up!
- You sound it.
Two of your boys
got snuffed the other night and
you looking at the
cowboys who planned it.
Only, one of them
got away, didn't he?
Yep? My boys, huh?
- Yeah. They buy your dope for you.
- I don't sell dope.
What, do ya give it away?
I figured we busted
up a big score for you
and you know what
else I'm betting?
I bet you need to score
again, big and fast.
Bad bet.
We're gonna be there
when you do, fat boy.
Good for you.
When was it that I made
this alleged drug connection?
- Three days ago.
- Three days ago,
I was in the hospital.
I have a heart condition.
- You can check on that.
- OK, I will.
You've been watching
too many moving picture films.
Does that kid belong to you?
He belongs to me.
You really think you're hot, don't you?
At least I'm not small time.
What do you tell your kids you do for a living?
Oh, come on, stop it, huh.
My kids are well
fed and they are happy.
They live in a big, big house.
They get everything they want.
What do you guys have, huh?
Do you want me to feel ashamed?
Because of what?
Because some broad takes
off her top in a club?
I don't see my customers hiding
their eyes in their hands.
Why? Because a certain
John wants to spend a few nice minutes
with a trick in his hotel room?
What's so bad about that, huh?
What are you saving yourself
for, your wedding night?
You guys sit in your public
toilet, you
figured it all out, right?
I got where I am by having
punks like you for breakfast.
I'll tell you something.
There is one big difference
between you and us.
That is a relief.
Yeah, you know what it is?
You're greedy, man.
You want it all.
And all we want is you.
Come and get me.
We sure made
mincemeat out of him.
You know, that grease ball
is acting too confident.
He's not Fred Astaire.
He's just not that
smooth, you know?
We've gotta flush him out.
Please don't use
the word "flush" in these premises.
He's going to make a move soon, I know it.
Well, let's hassle him a little bit.
We oughta bust the Electra.
He'd choke if we busted the Electra.
Yeah, so would the captain.
Yeah, well, that's her problem.
That's funny. I thought
it was our problem.
Is that the one who
does the trick with the cigarette?
That's the one.
Wow!
Dy-no-mite talent!
- Sensitive girl.
- Who? Do you know her?
I can't forget her.
Oh. Hey, does she have a friend?
Oh, here he is now.
How ya doing?
What's vice doing here?
What do you mean? We just coming
here to get a little culture.
And watch the girl with the big jugs.
Give these guys a few
drinks on the house.
No, let me say this about that.
We like to pay
for our own drinks.
Thank you very much.
Youre not even supposed to be here.
Oh. He says we're
not supposed be here.
Then what are we supposed to do?
We're supposed to sit right
here and watch the girl
with the big jugs do
the trick with the cigarette.
That's a good idea.
- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
Ah, Sir? We're gonna stay.
You know you're not
supposed to be here.
What do you mean by that?
Just because we are vice squad?
I mean, just because
we have, you know,
morals, doesn't mean
we can't come in here
and get some good entertainment.
Aren't you aware
that young lady has
her mammary glands exposed to
this entire congregation?
Is that legal, sir?
- Is it?
- Where's your cabaret license?
- Just knock this shit off.
- Where's your cabaret license?
It's on the wall.
Why isnt it over the
bar where it supposed to be?
Ah, these freekos, man.
These freekos.
It's too dark up there,
I need a little light.
- Hey, partner, you got any light?
- Light, light, flying in light.
I can't see it.
A chair to see it.
Ah Sir, we're from the
vice squad and my
friend wants to read
what's going on up there,
to see if it's legal for
that lady to doing what
she's doing in front
of all these people.
- How we got it?
- Well, they got a cabaret license in this dive.
Wrong again.
Everything seems
to be in order, my friend.
So it's okay.
You tell Mr. Rizzo that the Smith brothers say hi.
Hey how you doing?
I haven't seen you since we
busted the place downtown.
Miss. Miss.
Ahhh.....
There ain't nobody here.
I wonder what that asshole's
doing coming home so early?
It's just eight o'clock.
Maybe he doesn't want
to miss Gomer Pyle.
I guess we ought to hang around
and see if he gets any visitors.
Wake up dear.
Today is the first day
of the rest of your life.
It's after seven.
Hey uh, you recognize Rizzo's girlfriend over there?
Yes, he looks familiar.
Who is he?
Imagine you're sitting in
the middle of a bunch of
fruits and vegetables and
somebodys shootin' at ya.
Yeah.
He has to get ready
to score for sure.
We got to do it soon.
- That is very good. Very good.
- Thank you.
Quite welcome.
Hey how ya doing?
Hey, I see you two guys climbed
out of a urinal for a couple hours, huh?
- Hey, you enjoying the fights?
- I got good seats.
Hey, we stopped by your
place yesterday.
What place is that?
The Electra. Dynamite house.
- Glad you liked it.
- We saw your friend.
I've got a lot of friends.
Yeah, this is the guy
who buys your dope.
We saw you chattin' with him downstairs.
Yeah, you're going to score soon, big, huh?
Score?
You guys use a lot of grown up words.
Rizzo, we gonna close you you down.
We're gonna stick to you
like your underwear.
You got my permission to try.
Good, 'cause we wouldn't want
to do nothin' without
your permission.
I don't blame you.
You guys want to take
regular seats and enjoy the fights?
No thanks.
- You can learn something.
- Yeah, like what?
I don't know.
It's an interesting game.
You know, you gotta know
what you're doing, otherwise
you get your head busted playing in there.
You nervous?
I don't get nervous.
I've been working at it too long.
We all know that.
You know what's funny?
What's really funny
is that you two guys
really think you're
doing something.
I mean, you go around busting 10 dollar hookers,
and beating up on fagots. For what?
For 200 bucks a week, right?
And you act like Captain Marvel or somebody.
You really think you
can sneak around and get Rizzo?
Huh, is that what you think?
Take a look down there.
You see those little people
all paid to get in?
You see those little
two monkeys in there
beating their brains out inside the ring?
You think I got where I am by
letting punks like you get me?
- You're playing with yourselves.
- It's going to happen, Spanky.
We're going to bust your ass.
Captain Marvel saving the
world by busting 10 dollar hookers.
Watch out for your cape, Captain.
Make sure it doesn't get caught in places it shouldn't be.
- It is going to happen.
- Shazam.
Two three four...
The man's gonna have to be
making a purchase real soon.
We're gonna be there when he does.
What if he spooks, he gets somebody to make it for him?
- Where are we then?
- Look, you're puttin' out that kinda bread,
I don't care who you are,
you're going to be there
to tasting or smellin'.
We're going to press
that guy 'til he falls.
He's going to wash his face,
we're going to give him the soap.
I'm with you brother, I'm with you.
I'm also hungry.
You want a burger?
- No, get me a pack of gum.
- Yeah.
Hello honey, you
looking for a good time?
Hey, how ya doin', momma?
- Fifty.
- Fifty, huh?
For a good time?
Well, I got 20 dollars for that.
You sure are a cheap honky.
I know that.
- Thirty-five.
- Thirty-five bucks, huh?
Well, I don't want to negotiate
with you, I got twenty-seven fifty.
- Can you afford a cab?
- You bet.
Hey, honey, put that in
a bag for me, will ya?
- Coming? Good.
- Here.
Thank you, keep the change.
Oh, it's a spiffy
place you got here.
Yeah, ain't it?
So, what do I get for twenty-seven fifty?
You get a good time, honey.
Oh yeah? Well, I sure
could use a good time.
Why don't you, ah, lie down and
make yourself comfortable?
Okay, I think I'll just lie down
and make myself comfortable.
Oh, yeah, that's great.
I know honey.
That's incredible.
I know honey.
Turn around, honey.
Hello, Keneely.
You know what, Keneely?
I've got a message for ya.
From a friend.
He said...
Shazam.
That's all.
Shazam.
Can ya dig it?
Hey, Farrell.
Hey, partner, I got spiked.
Hey, you cop you, I
just got raped, you mother, I just...
Going to sleep on me now, huh?
Empire State Building
just fell on my head.
Hey, come on, don't go to sleep on me...
Oh God.
We gotta get to a hospital, man.
Oh, no, it's my fault
it happened, man.
Well don't they know who we are, man.
Listen...
We just gotta stay alive,
man, just gotta stay alive.
The captain was very
worried about you guys.
He said that he was
more concerned for
the safety of his men
than with anything else.
And uh, he said that you two
would carry your dedication
to the point where you're
endangering your own safety.
Well, we can take care of ourselves.
Yeah? Look in the
mirror and tell me that, huh.
The captain thinks it's
best if you two were split up.
You know, you are
each experienced vice officers
and you could really be
helping two newer men.
Then we'd have two
good teams instead of just one.
Well, what do you want from me?
I'm in the middle
and you know it.
What the hell can I do?
You guys had to bust
Rizzo's place, right?
You had to follow him around, right?
Hell, you are good
guys, you really are.
I know how you feel.
Maybe I'll do the same
myself, I don't know.
But you gotta see where I am in this.
Do you know what they
wanted to do to you?
You want to know, huh?
Bust ya, that's what.
Well, I stopped them
and it wasn't easy.
Now my ass is in the sling
if you guys step outta line again.
So please... cool it for a while, huh.
You can pick up your new
partners in the squad room.
I understand that vitamin E
will clear this up almost overnight.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Well, did you think I outta maybe
have like a stronger attitude.
You drive wonderfully,
really...
- Well...
- Don't get none tickets.
I'll see you later.
Have a good weekend.
You have a good time.
- How ya feelin'?
- Oh, just terrific.
I'm really tired of my lunch
through a straw, if
you know what I mean.
You know, everybody got
somebody at the other end of the phone.
The sarge got the captain.
The captain got Rizzo,
Rizzo got somebody else.
We're so fuckin' alone in this thing,
it ain't even a joke.
Ain't nobody gonna help us
- You know that, don't you?
- Yup, I know that.
Well, what do you want to do this weekend?
Sounds like a good idea.
Then was Jesus was
led up to the Spirit into
the wilderness to be
tempted by the devil.
And when he had fasted 40 days
and 40 nights, he
was afterward hungry.
And when the tempter
came to him, he said,
If thou be the Son
of God,
command that these stones
be made bread.
"But he answered
and said, It is written,
Man shall not live by
bread alone, but by every
word that proceeds out
of the mouth of God.
Then the devil taketh
them up into the Holy City
and sitteth Him on a
pinnacle of the temple.
"And saideth unto him,
If Thou be the Son of
God, cast thyself down.
For it is written, He shall give
his angels charge concerning thee.
And in their hands they shall
bear thee up, lest at any time now.
He'll miss the part
where they killed the goat.
"Jesus said unto him, It is..."
Wouldn't you think
the man would at least
have had the decency to
stay for the sermon?
The Lord gonna
smoke his ass.
With lightning.
Come on, Anthony, down here.
Come on, you
sit by your mother.
- I want chocolate chip.
- I want a double scoop.
One chocolate, one strawberry.
I want chocolate chip.
You can have ice cream
after you finish your lunch.
I don't want lunch,
I want ice cream.
Me, too.
You do what your mother told you, alright?
What, what are you looking at?
What are you so quiet for now?
Relax.
Waitress.
-Ain't you hungry yet, man?
- No not yet.
I'm starving.
- Piece of gum?
- Terrific.
- Here.
- You got any ketchup?
Oh, here she comes.
Mr. Rizzo, sir.
Very good to see you.
Good evening, Mr. Dynamite.
Very nice to see you.
- May we clean the car for ya?
- Check the oil? Check the oil?
Service! Service with a smile!
Yay!
- Happy birthday Carl.
- Happy birthday Carl.
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
Which nobody can deny!
Which nobody can deny!
Which nobody can deny!
Happy birthday.
What a touching scene.
He is crying. It's his birthday.
Cut the cake.
I'm going to give him a present.
No, let's don't embarrass him.
Here we go.
This one's for you, honey.
Hey, watch it, watch it.
It costs a lot of money.
- Who paid for it? You?
- Of course.
Okay, keep it going. Pass it down.
What the...
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
Which nobody can deny!
And nobody can deny!
That nobody can deny!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
- Which nobody......
- Hey, Rizzo, close your
eyes and make a wish.
He's gotta make his buy now, man.
He's got to.
Yes, well somebody
should tell him that.
Somebody's sick or somethin'.
Hey how you doin'?
Two gentlemen, Mr. Weldman.
You miserable bastards!
Do you think you guys can get away
with this? Well, you're wrong!
You're so god damn wrong!
You knew he had
a heart condition.
What are you talking about?
You know, it's gonna be a
pleasure to sue you two
for everything you
have or ever will have.
I'll tell you one thing...
you better pray for
his complete recovery.
That's what you better do.
Pray! For his complete recovery.
He had to suspend you.
What the hell do you think he'd do?
Eh?
You guys want a peanut?
No, I can't chew.
I need some...
The commissioner is just thrilled.
Oh, he is delirious!
You know, Rizzo is a heavy contributor
to the Saint Agnes Orphanage
and he's also a member of the
directors of the Civic Opera.
Oh, it's just beautiful.
He had to have a heart
attack right now, huh?
Smart guy. Real convenient, right?
We were gonna nail him, man.
He was gettin' nervous
to score, I know it.
I hope he dies.
You know I did
everything I could.
Say, why don't you guys
come in out of the rain, huh?
What rain?
That creep Weldman, right?
That guy's a poser
acting like some lawyer.
He's trying to
sell to us that Rizzo's
got a case history of having a heart condition.
- He ain't got no heart.
- Hey didn't he go to the hospital once?
Rizzo told us he went to
the hospital, right?
- Sure.
- When was it?
It was, uh, after the shootout, right?
- Yeah.
- It was during the shootout.
It was, that was his alibi.
Hey, what is that?
A guy goes to the hospital
every time he's gonna score?
- You gettin' any message?
- I'm gettin' a lot of messages.
- We're dumb, that's the message.
- I'm not hearing anything of this.
We're dumb.
You know, this isn't
kid's game anymore.
You guys can get killed! You're crazy!
You know it?
Can I help you?
Yes, I'm looking
for Mr. Rizzo's room.
Oh, Mr. Rizzo is in 5B1.
Oh yeah, where's that?
I'm sorry, you
can't go in there.
He is under private care.
There are no visitors allowed.
Gotcha.
Let's stick around.
Who's that?
More flowers.
Well, I'm getting tired.
Hey, what if we're not right?
I don't even want to think about that.
- You want some coffee?
- No.
Boy, you know, that guy
gets an awful lot of flowers.
Even for uh, being on
the board of the opera.
Think so?
Yeah. You notice what
kind of flowers they are?
- Flowers are flowers.
- No, no, they're in pots.
Deep pots.
Something else funny.
People go visit him and they walk
out with a pot of flowers.
He could give
away an awful lot of
flowers, no one
knows what's going on.
Excuse me.
I gotta call my mother.
It is very important.
Thank you.
Hello, can you give me the, uh...
flower shop
downstairs, please?
Thank you.
Uh, hello. You guys.
This is um, Mr. Rizzo in 5B1.
Ah yeah, hey you guys
just sent over some pots
of flowers and uh...
No, they're terrific.
And I love 'em, but, one of
the pots is cracked,
the water is leaking, you
know? It's very messy.
You what?
You didn't send no flowers
today to Mr. Rizzo?
Thank you very much.
You? How can you come in here?
How ya doin'?
He's getting along.
Get out of here!
Leave my husband alone.
Excuse me, Mrs.
Rizzo, we just have to check
something and we'll
be gone in just a minute.
Did you ring, Mrs. Rizzo?
- These men!
- Oh I'm Sorry, you'll have to leave.
No one's allowed here except the immediate family.
Well, that's not immediate family.
That's a creep.
Please get them out of here.
Look, I'm sorry, but
you'll have to leave.
As soon as we check something out,
we'll be gone in a minute.
Boy, boy, you gotta lot of
nice flowers here, Spanky.
Take it easy.
Watch out!
Take another step and
you've got a dead nurse.
Get out. And leave her here. Get out!
Rizzo!
Rizzo! Hey, run for it! Go ahead.
Come on, run, fat boy...
Come on, run.
Come on, get up and run!
Congratulations,
Captain, I give up.
You got Rizzo, huh?
Oooh!
So what the hell do you think you got?
What do you think
the charge is gonna be?
Having narcotics in a hospital room?
They're not my narcotics.
I didn't bring them there.
Prove I did.
So what next, huh?
I get a year. Maybe.
A year.
So I change my
business address for a year.
Then I'm back. Meantime,
you two slobs are hanging
out in your sewer making
peanuts and I got a vacation.
I could use a vacation.
What?
Pull the trigger, go on.
Complete the job.
Last name?
-Keneely.
- Is that ELE or EEL?
EEL.
- First name?
-Michael.
- Married or single?
-Single.
- Previous employer?
- the uh, LA police department.
- Length of employment?
- Eleven years.
Reasons for termination of employment?
- Huh?
- Uh, why'd ya leave?
Oh I don't know.
I'm sorry, could you please be more specific?
Yeah, um, more specific, um...
Oh, I needed a change,
you know? Change.
Take this if you could, Mr. Keneely,
to the personnel department.
It's down the hall.
It's the third
door on your left.
Third door on the left. Gotcha.