California Scheming (2014) Movie Script

-What do you think you're doing,
-What are you doing?
Come on.
-It's okay, little guy.
-You're kidding me.
-I'll take care of you.
Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.
Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.
-That looks pretty bad.
-That's obvious.
Some idiotic neighborhood kid
shot him with a slingshot.
Think it got him in the neck.
- It's a good shot.
I wouldn't waste my time on it.
It looks like he doesn't have
much juice left in him.
-I guess we could take a look.
-All right.
Come hold him.
--Try to hold his wings down.
- Fucking hate birds.
-Feels like...
Yeah, it's definitely a nail.
-We used to do that
when we were kids, dude.
Uh, I-it looks really bad.
We should just put him
out of his misery, really.
-I could try to pull the nail
out of his neck.
-You think you can do it?
-I could try.
So, I'm Jason.
-I'm Nick.
Wait. I think I...
I got it.
-We need to clean him up
and see if he can eat.
Jason, why don't you
check the fridge
and see if we've got anything?
-I'll just check the trash can.
That's where he usually eats.
Um, so, where are you from?
-I'm from New York,
but after her second divorce,
my mother moved us
out to the west coast.
-What school do you go to?
All green dresses
and only nice girls.
What about you two?
-Uh, I go to Harvard-westlake,
and Nick is our public-school
boy, going to Malibu high.
Go, sharks.
-Chloe, where are you?
I know you're here somewhere.
What the hell
is happening in here?
Are you bleeding?!
Why are you guys
trying to kill a bird
in my kitchen?
Is this some sort of new thing?
And, Chloe, why aren't you
answering me when I call you?
-Meet Nick and Jason.
We found this bird on the beach,
and Nick pulled a nail
out of its neck.
Now I'm trying
to make him pretty again.
-It's really nice to meet you,
It's Mrs. vandersteen.
-It's really nice to meet you,
Mrs. vandersteen.
I'm Jason Rourke.
-As you can see,
we're pretty busy.
What do you want?
-I wanted to let you know
that I'm having
a visitor tonight,
so I would appreciate it
if you didn't come upstairs.
Do me a flavor --
clean this crap up, okay?
-Of course.
It's good to meet you.
-It was nice...
- Shut up, dude!
I'm better than you!
-Fuck you!
- When we come
when we come
-Hand me my phone.
Yo, she sent me a message.
-It's a video.
-The fuck?
-Hi, boys.
I just wanted to say thank you
for helping me
with this little guy.
Really means a lot.
If you're not busy
tomorrow afternoon,
you should come by my place.
I'd love to see you.
-Dude, she was
fucking naked in that!
-No, she wasn't!
-She was
definitely fucking naked!
I swear to God.
I swear to God.
-All right.
Let's -- let's watch it again.
She was not naked.
-Fuck you, dude.
-Hi, boys.
-Oh, my God.
She's naked!
-She's absolutely naked.
Who does that?!
-Really means a lot.
-We've hit the lottery
with this fucking girl, bro.
-Have you got a new pet?
-Oh, the gull.
That's one
of Chloe's experiments.
I'm surprised
it survived the night.
-Who's Chloe?
-Never mind.
Never mind.
- You walk
with a dirty swagger
-That's it.
- You put your eyes
in a dagger
you take a look at me
you were a part
of the dance party
- Whoo
-I know you asked for water,
but these are way better.
- Cool.
- Wow.
-So, uh, how's our gull doing?
-Much better.
He's on the upper deck.
Made it through the night,
but I had to shorten his leash.
My mom went to the city
for the night.
So... want to pop off?
-Chloe! My girl.
What's up?
Where are you?
-I'm in Malibu, and I miss you.
How's New York?
Wow. You guys
are really moving around.
I miss you, too.
Looks like you're not alone.
Who are those two cuties?
Hi, guys.
-Too bad I can't be there
to hang out with you guys.
But let me guess.
You want to pop off, right?
And who would know better
than you?
-One condition.
Those two
have to take off their shirts.
-Come on.
What are you waiting for?
- Dude, are you serious?
-Come on, dude.
Girl, where did
you find those two puppies?
By the way, I'm sure
you've already heard,
but mission accomplished.
That was fast.
No, I've not heard about it.
You are so fantastic and evil.
I love it!
-She had a nervous breakdown
after she figured out
we posted that little
nasty video clip of hers.
She was such an easy target.
God, I love cyberbullying.
School must have been so boring
before the Internet.
-She deserves it.
You have no idea
how much I hate that bitch.
-No problem.
There goes
another Mary poppins.
But back
to more important things.
Looks like
we have everything we need.
Okay. Take two of the vicodins
and one of the ambulare.
Then wait 20 minutes
before you take two
of each of the proful
and the chromoful.
Should last you all day
and do the trick.
When you wake up
in the morning,
you'll still feel
like a butterfly.
Have fun, girl.
And you two
can put your shirts back on.
-Thanks, lily.
You're the best.
- Ta-ta.
- I walked in on a plan
to dissolve all of your wishes
but I didn't understand
I was a cold tear in your eyes
- What's in it for someone
with nothing to do?
what's in it for me?
- What's in it for someone
with nothing to do?
what's in it for me?
-Feels like my brain isn't
connected to my body anymore.
-Did you guys get that little
clip I sent you last night?
-Fuck, yeah, we did.
That was so -- that was so cool.
That was so awesome.
-I like to make videos, post
them on Facebook or YouTube.
It's part of my master plan
to become famous.
-Famous for what?
-Doesn't really matter.
Just famous.
Bottom line is that...
You have to go the full 9 yards,
Those last few yards
can take you to some
really dark places, you know?
Sometimes when my mother
is sleeping with some...
Producer or manager guy...
She gets herself auditions
for TV shows.
Small roles, but...
I just don't think that's
the way it works, you know?
For me
it's about one thing --
be good...
Or be good at it.
Press "record."
You can touch me if you want.
-Now it's your turn.
Let's go skinny-dipping.
Come on!
- What's in it for someone
with nothing to do?
what's in it for me?
- What's in it for someone
with nothing to do?
what's in it for me?
- What's in it for someone
with nothing to do?
-Oh, yeah.
That is very true!
For one time...
For one time
in your goddamn life...
Be honest with me, William!
Did you ever love me?
Did you ever love me?!
Tell me, did you ever love me?!
-I don't know.
I don't know.
- It's late.
Where you been?
-With Jason.
-You know, I feel like I don't
ever get to see you anymore.
-Mom told me about your show.
I'm sorry.
I thought it was kind of cool.
-Oh, I just wish
that you ran the network.
They tested it for the audience,
and they didn't like it.
Had a lot of walkouts, so...
That's that.
-What now? You -- you
gonna shop somewhere else?
Nick, the...
The bank has given us a day
to move out of this house.
-So I'll have to go
to another school.
What about my friends?
Really, really sorry
about this mess, Nick.
I just don't know
what else to do.
-Yeah, it's okay.
-What do you think you're doing?
It's a bird, not a kite.
Stop it.
You're hurting it.
-Get the fuck out of here,
Mary poppins!
Who do you think you are,
telling me what to do?
-You can't just take a bird
and treat it like it's a toy.
Leave him alone.
If I were you,
I'd get the fuck out of here,
or you might end up
on this leash.
-Whoa, whoa.
What's going on here?
-Mary poppins over here
is trying to tell me
what's right and wrong.
-I'm always interested to know
what's right and what's wrong.
-No. I'm not claiming to be
an expert on morality.
But I do know that nobody has
the right to torture an animal.
-I'm not torturing him.
I'm teaching him how to fly.
-Why is he on a leash?
-We found him a couple days ago,
We didn't want him to get away,
so we put him on a leash
till he stopped trying to fly.
-You do realize that doesn't
make much sense, right?
Now that you've helped him
learned to fly again...
You're gonna set him free,
-Not yet.
I still have big plans for him.
-Where exactly
is your house on birdview?
-Oh, it's not my house.
I-I mean, I live there,
but with my aunt and Uncle.
My mom just died, and it's been
pretty overwhelming for my dad,
so my aunt suggested I come stay
out here with them for a bit,
get away.
So here I am.
Wow, I'm sorry!
I don't know
why I just told you all of that.
-I'm sorry about your mom.
- Oh.
-So, where are you
originally from?
-Uh, Boston.
I haven't met
too many people yet.
I basically spend my days with
my 9- and 11-year-old cousins
or on Facebook
with people back home.
This is me.
-Find me on Facebook.
I'm Nick behrle.
It's b-e-h-r-l-e.
- Okay. Cool.
-Hey, guys.
What's happening?
-What's up?
Uh, Nick just told me
he brought home Mary poppins
this afternoon.
-Name is Hillary,
and she seems okay.
Yeah. She told she's just
out here for a couple months.
Actually, her mom just died, so
she's trying to cope with that.
-Well, maybe Hillary
should be a little more cautious
when it comes
to other people's business.
-Yeah, and it'd also help
if she didn't dress
like she was amish.
-Don't be a dick, bro.
-What did you do
while you drove her home --
like a little amish handy?
- Yeah.
-Can we talk
about something else?
We were wondering
if you want to go to a concert.
There's this new club
down in venice.
You want to go?
-Why not?
Sounds fun.
So, uh...
How's our bird doing?
-Yeah. I just put him
on the balcony for the night.
Somehow I thought
it'd be way more exciting
to have a sea gull on a leash.
-Yeah, I hear you.
So, when are you gonna,
like, let him fly away?
-Nick, why don't you ask
your little amish princess
if she wants to come with us
-You serious?
-She can't be that bad.
She, uh, deserves
a second chance.
poor thing lost her mother.
She must be so vulnerable and...
-Just make sure
she wears something different.
-I can ask.
-I got to go.
I'll see you tomorrow.
-Well, well, well.
What a surprise.
Haven't seen you in a while.
Listen, before I forget,
I spoke to your father today,
and he wanted me to tell you
that you are no longer invited
to his wedding.
What are you talking about?!
I-I just got the invitation.
I was looking forward to going
to New York for a couple days,
hang out with my friends.
-Well, I don't know
exactly what happened,
but, as you know, your
soon-to-be-stepsister, Danielle,
goes to the same school
as your friend lily.
Apparently, lily
did such a marvelous job
of bullying Danielle that
she had a nervous breakdown,
and she refused
to go back to that school.
the $100,000 in tuition
for the rest of the school year
that your father paid
is not going to be reimbursed.
Make matters worse, your father
has to shell out an additional
$100,000 for the new school.
It didn't take a genius
to figure out
that you were behind all this.
So, your father's pretty upset.
He decided to keep Danielle
close and not you.
If you think about it,
it kind of makes sense.
I mean, why should
he just have a new wife
when he can replace his
screwed-up daughter with an...
Innocent, preppy,
straight-a student?
It's a clean cut!
Get used to it, Chloe.
Listen, I'm gonna go to Hawaii
tomorrow for a couple of days.
If anything comes up,
you can just pay people
with the checks
in the magic box, okay?
Take one of these.
It'll keep you
from getting upset.
Come here.
Come on.
-How long are we staying
this time?
- Hey.
-You should get us some drinks.
And you come with me.
-Where are you going?
- I can tell
by the size of your eyes
-So, what can I do for you guys?
-We were hoping
you could set us up for tonight.
-Ever read this book?
-How many are in your party?
-Uh, four.
-Check out chapter five.
-Give him it back.
- I can tell
by the size of your eyes
-Thanks again.
You owe me 50 bucks.
I guess you don't remember us
from last week.
I thought at least you'd
remember the lovely Hillary.
-I don't know
what you're talking about,
but you owe me 50 bucks.
tell him how old you are.
-Um, 15.
-Well, that's good for you.
But I got 50 bucks coming to me.
-You probably thought she was 18
when you were making out
with her, huh?
Thanks, Dave.
You're always the sweetest.
-I didn't know you were friends
with those kids.
That girl was hotter than hell,
-Shut the fuck up, idiot.
- I try running away
I'm just not fast enough
-What was all that about?
-Well, thanks to Hillary,
we have a little present.
- My own friends
hate my guts
-Let's go.
- So what?
who gives a fuck?
-I think I was just part
of a drug deal.
What is this?
-I think it's ecstasy.
I haven't done that before.
Have you?
But I like to smoke pot
from time to time.
And we did some pills
with Chloe.
-She's quite an influence
on you guys.
Pretty impressive.
Do you go to the same school?
-No. We just started hanging out
with her last week.
I would have guessed you'd known
each other for years.
You guys seem so tight.
- My
my own friends
-So, what are we gonna do
with these?
- I really don't know.
- ...don't give a shit
-You want to split one?
- Will I fly high?
-Promise me you won't leave me
alone the rest of the night?
-I promise.
-And one more thing --
I really want you
to teach me how to surf.
-Yeah. Absolutely.
-All right.
- 'Cause I'm a fool
- ...running away
I'm just not fast enough
I'm just not man enough
-Where the fuck is she?
Her phone's switched off.
-Dude, chill, man.
So is mine.
She's probably inside still,
or she couldn't find us,
and she took a cab home.
-Is your mouth feeling dry?
Let's go to a gas station
and get something to drink.
-I'm not leaving her.
She's probably looking
for us right now.
-I really need
something to drink.
I'm out of cash.
You guys have any?
-Got like 2 bucks.
-A couple of quarters.
I gave Chloe
all my fucking money.
-Do we have no money?
How the fuck
are we gonna get back home?
That's so beautiful.
-It's Chloe.
-Jason, where have you been?!
The bird is gone!
I can't find him anywhere!
-Ca-- calm down.
I can't understand
anything you're saying.
-The bird! The bird!
He's gone!
Somebody must have stolen him,
or it just escaped.
I don't know what to do.
We need to look for him
He might still be around.
Where were you guys?
You all just disappeared on me.
-We were at the club.
Uh, we're at the lagoon now.
We looked for you all night.
You just disappeared.
-Come to my house
as fast as you can.
I need you guys
to help me find him.
-Uh, yeah. All right.
Yeah. We'll be there soon.
-How'd she get home?
- She probably took a cab.
She got all the money.
-Guys, the bird's gone.
Look, we can be at her house in,
what, like 20 minutes, right?
Let's go.
We got to walk.
We got to speed up.
Come on.
- You can't be serious.
I'm so tired,
I don't know if I'll still
make it to my own house.
I definitely can't go looking
for an escaped bird.
By the way, is he in walking
or flying mode these days?
-It's cool, bro.
I'm just gonna walk
Hillary home,
and then I'll come meet you
at Chloe's.
- Why do you
have to walk her home?
She can walk
on her fucking own, bro!
Chloe's mad enough about us
leaving her at the club!
We got to go!
Come on.
-Don't worry.
It's fine.
Just run.
-I'll text you later.
-He must have slipped
out of the harness.
-I don't think so.
That harness is really tight.
He probably needed help
to get out.
-Did you check with your mom?
Did -- did she see anything?
-She went to Hawaii
for a couple of days.
When I left the house
last night,
he was still sitting there.
-I mean, seriously,
why would anyone
sneak into your house
and steal the gull?
-I don't know,
and I-I don't really care.
Why is everyone
trying to get away from me?
First, you guys leave me
at that weird place last night,
and now the bird's gone.
You have to find him.
What are you waiting for?!
- Misery
will you comfort me
in my time of need
to understand?
what you understand
in my time of need
to understand
that I'm just having fun
that I'm just having fun
with you
with you
with you
- With you
-Hey, guys.
Grab a seat.
Have some breakfast.
Oh. I'm sorry.
That's so rude of me.
Uh, Nick, Jason, this is Nathan.
He drove me home last night
after you two
decided to abandon me.
-What's up, guys?
It's getting late.
I should
probably head back into town.
That's too bad.
I'll walk you out.
Who died?
-It's just that we don't really
get what's going on, Chloe.
We showed up this morning,
and you were a total mess
about the bird being gone,
so -- so we just spent hours
looking for the thing,
and we come back, and you're
this different, happy person
with this dude, and...
It's just fucking weird.
-Is it fucking weird?
Is it weird that I don't have
the right to have a good morning
'cause I'd asked some stranger
to drive me home last night?
Because you two left me alone.
-What about the guy?
Why didn't you just have him
help you find the bird?
I --
-why would I ask him?
You disappeared on me.
-Well, he got a nice reward for
bringing you home last night.
-So what?!
That's none
of your business anyway.
Just because I let someone
sleep at my house
doesn't give you two little
selfish pricks the right
to judge me.
Take it
you didn't find the bird.
Wait here.
-You all right, bro?
It's been a rough night...
We'll go home soon
and get some sleep.
My parents are
probably freaking out anyways.
-What now?
-Open it.
-Oh, my God!
-My God.
Chloe, who gave this to you?
I put him in it myself.
It's Manolo blahnik.
I thought he deserved it.
-Well, where and when
did you find him?
What -- I mean, he looks like
he's been in there awhile.
-This Nathan guy
have anything to do with it?
We should kick his ass for this!
We should definitely kick
his ass for this!
-I don't think he had
anything to do with this.
You did this.
Right, Chloe?
What the hell?
-Oh, my God.
How'd that happen, Chloe?!
-My father did this to me.
He came to the house
and started a fight with my mom.
He was drunk
and threatened her with a knife,
and when I went to help,
things got out of control,
and he slipped.
-What happened?
Did you call the police?
It would just make things worse.
He's getting married and doesn't
want us in his life anymore.
So we have to be very careful.
-But why the bird?
-'Cause he just stood there
staring at me,
not doing a thing.
I hated him for that.
-Today I got a call
from Harvard-westlake.
They said you've been expelled.
They found out
you falsified report cards
to improve your grades.
For three generations,
this family
has received its education
at Harvard-westlake.
I'm not willing to put up with
your constant failures anymore.
What do you have to say
in your defense?
- I, um...
Uh, I'm really sorry.
I just...
I-I didn't want to,
but then I just...
I don't know. I...
It was like --
it was just real --
-stop talking like an idiot!
You never accomplished anything,
and you know it.
I have to go to Chicago
for some business.
In the meantime,
I'm warning you,
if anything else
happens while I'm gone,
it will make things much worse
than they already are.
-Yeah. Of course.
There won't be anything.
I promise.
-I've scheduled a meeting with
the principal when I get back.
You and I will go in there
and see
how we can solve this problem
without causing an uproar.
Get out of here.
Just do me one favor.
Don't run to your mother,
crying and complaining.
She won't be able
to help you this time.
You're so lucky
living here all your life.
How old were you
when you started surfing?
-First time I came out
was on my dad's board.
I was like 4 or 5.
And he just put me
in front of him on the board.
When he caught the wave,
we both stood up and rode it in.
A year later,
I got my own little board,
and I was in the ocean
every day.
That's when I met Jason,
and we became buddies.
-You guys seem really close...
Though, you strike me as having
very different personalities.
-What do you mean?
Just mean
that it seems like...
He needs you more
than the other way around.
You seem to be more independent.
-Guess I never thought about it
like that.
I think that's what friends
are for, though, you know?
To help and support each other
when it's needed.
Don't you agree?
-Oh. I'm not the right person
to ask about friendship.
I've never really had
a best friend.
Maybe someday.
-Hey, I like you.
-I like you, too.
And I thought the other night
was a lot of fun.
Oh. I'm sorry to hear
that Chloe's bird disappeared.
-So, what about you?
What did you like best
when you were little?
- Hmm.
I liked
Playing with my mother.
One of my favorite
childhood memories
was listening to her
read me bedtime stories.
She would always do all the
different voices and
-How did she die?
-I don't really like
to talk about it.
She died in a car accident.
It was my fault.
-What do you mean?
Why would you say that?
-I was
at this girl Andrea's house.
We had planned a sleepover.
Watching movies all night,
eating ice cream,
that sort of thing.
And we got
into this silly argument
about a boy
that she had a crush on.
I was just having fun,
uh, teasing her, but...
Somehow it turned
into a really bad fight.
So I called my mother.
It was already past midnight,
but I insisted that she come
pick me up because I didn't want
to spend another minute
at Andrea's house.
I could hear in her voice
that she was really tired.
But I didn't care.
Just selfish.
She never arrived at the house.
Instead, I fell asleep,
and when I woke up...
My dad was waiting
in Andrea's parents' kitchen.
I'll never forget
the look in his eyes.
She fell asleep at the wheel.
Crashed into a tree,
was killed instantly.
-Come on.
Let's go teach you how to surf.
- It's not so worth getting
all bent out of shape about
I turned my back on it
and next you know,
it's all run out
-Hey, guys.
-Hey, Chloe.
-Who are these people?
-That is a picture
of Charles manson.
Taken in the '60s.
I think he's kind of sexy here.
Yeah. I'm a sucker
for the whole story.
You got to admit,
there is not much scarier stuff.
-I like that picture
of Sasha grey a lot better.
She's just so cool.
Does whatever it takes.
She's so much more true
and real,
unlike all these other girls,
like miley fucking Cyrus.
I hate her.
-What's so funny about that?
What's that girl Sasha do?
-Uh, we--
-the reason she's known
is because she's a porn star.
She's very open about it.
She's only a couple years older
than we are.
There's probably not
a single guy we know
who hasn't watched her have sex.
She doesn't give a damn
about other people's opinions,
and she's a star.
I think that's really cool.
-Do you guys know her?
I'm -- I'm just oblivious.
-What are you doing?
- I'm just checking.
I'll take that.
-CBS studios on Beverly.
-Wow. Cool.
A driver.
Yeah, I, uh...
I just called the service
my mom uses all the time.
Put it on her credit card.
-She probably won't even notice.
Here you go.
Come on!
It's girls' day out.
-Cheers to girls' day out.
-Thanks for taking me.
I, uh, haven't bought
any new clothes in forever.
Haven't really been in the mood.
Nick told me about your mom.
I can't imagine how that feels.
It's like...
Your whole world changes.
Everything you know is gone.
when you blame yourself.
-You don't have
to talk about it.
-It's okay.
Maybe it'll help.
It's so unfair, you know?
I mean, she was
just trying to be there for me.
I can't stop wanting
to punish myself.
I've been having this...
Recurring nightmare
where I'm buried alive...
Suffocating, dying slowly.
Then I wake up, and
the guilt just washes over me...
How fucked up it is
that I'm alive when she isn't.
-I have a feeling
you'll be just fine.
Maybe sooner than you'd expect.
-So, how did you
get invited to this?
-Well, my mom does
certain things for the producer
or someone else in charge,
They return the favor.
-So, is your mother an actress?
Guess you could say that.
-Have I seen her in anything?
-She was on "Melrose place" --
the one from the '90s.
-Daily soaps, some commercials.
Now she's all about reality TV.
She's determined to get us
on one of those shows.
So, then you know the producer?
-I'm not positive,
but I have a hunch I do.
If I haven't lost track... should be...
This guy.
Why do you have photos of all
these families on your phone?
Um, Chloe vandersteen.
Let's just say
that the story of their lives
for a short period of time
becomes the story of my life.
So it only makes sense
to keep a memory, right?
- Fun-loving creatures
living fast, eating gritty
babes on the beaches,
baby g's in the city
American mummies
teach the world to be pretty
it's so sexy
to be living in America
-I want you to have this.
Come here.
Thanks, Chloe.
-Let's go.
- Let's fucking party!
- I had tears
that never ended
You weren't around
to stop the tantrum
na-na na-na-na
A girl like you
-What can I get you?
-Just a pack of condoms.
- To go through life,
oh, so formal
na-na na-na-na
a girl like you
-How was the surf today?
-Not bad, man.
- Weekends are never fun
unless you're around
-First timer?
Do do-do do-do do.
Decisions, man.
-Is that Nick?
What is he doing here?
Why is he wearing sunglasses?
-Let's find out.
-Wait. Wait.
Turn around.
Trust me.
Turn around.
Go for it.
-We got different, uh, colors...
Different flavors.
Strawberry, cherry.
Got different sizes --
small, large.
-I'll just take a pack
of normal ones.
-Normal ones?
By whose standards?
-Uh, no colors, no flavors.
Normal size.
- Hi, Nick.
- Hillary.
-What are you doing here?
-I just came
from shopping with Chloe.
Why are you wearing sunglasses?
-You sure you don't want
to get those grandes, bro?
-No, just -- just normal ones.
-4? 8? 16?
and, uh, put them in the bag.
-What's going on?
You haven't said anything.
How do you like my clothes?
-$14.95, please.
-Here's a $20.
Just keep the change.
You look different but great.
-I'm glad you like it.
It's all Chloe.
You were right about her.
She's amazing.
Come on.
We can give you a ride home.
- Cool.
-You sure eight's
gonna be enough, man?
-What is he talking about?
-I don't know.
-Are you Ruth vandersteen?
That's my mother.
She told me you were coming.
-Did she leave you a check?
Let me go get it.
Here you go.
-Uh, thanks.
-Just in time.
Isn't it perfect?!
-It's beautiful.
-Check it out.
-Smells great.
The leather, chrome.
It's perfect.
Let's go inside.
I found you the perfect haircut.
So, what do you think?
It's great, isn't it?
I think it'll make you
look really cool and sexy.
-I-I don't know.
It's kind of extreme.
Isn't there something
in between?
What about the color?
-No problem.
I have everything we need.
Black will look so good on you.
Of course, it's up to you.
We can try something
more like this --
kind of like what you
have going on but shorter.
It's just that I thought
you wanted to be different.
-Can I have one?
Let's do it.
-All right.
I need you to turn around
so I can cut the other side.
Now I need you
to close your eyes
and keep them closed until
I tell you to open them, okay?
-Gonna start with your bangs.
-Keep those eyes closed.
Just take it.
-Hey, dad.
Yeah. No.
-I'm with Chloe,
that girl I told you about.
You will love her.
She's so cool.
-You are one scary bitch.
For a second, I thought
you were gonna slit her throat.
I loved it.
-So, what do you think?
Did I promise you too much?
-Absolutely not.
She's so naive --
hard to believe.
Comic relief.
By the way, did you get
that little package I sent you?
-You bet I did.
Haven't had the chance
to try it yet,
but I figured tonight
would be a good opportunity.
It's not even fda-approved.
So take it easy, girl.
So, you're really
not gonna tell me
what you have in mind for her?
Come on, Chloe.
Now you got me so excited.
-All I can say is that she came
up with the idea all by herself
without even knowing it.
So I can't take any credit.
-Who are you talking to, Chloe?
Uh, this is my friend lily,
from New York.
Chloe was just telling me
how you're getting one
of her famous haircuts.
You remind me of someone.
Just can't put a name to it.
-I'm not finished with you yet.
-I'm sure you're not.
Now I know who it is --
Remember Danielle, Chloe?
She used to go
to our old school.
Unfortunately, she had
to switch schools
a couple days ago.
Bad story.
Never mind.
I'll leave you two girls alone.
-Where were we?
-Hey, I really like
the new haircut.
Makes you look like uma thurman
in "Pulp Fiction."
What does that make you --
John Travolta?
Yeah. Okay.
So, where do
you want me to drive?
Like, where do you
want me to go?
-How about some creepy crawls?
-What's creepy crawls?
-I've heard of it.
Never done it.
It's when you go
into someone's house
and, like,
rearrange their furniture,
lie in their beds,
stuff like that
so when they come home, they
freak out and call the police.
They didn't steal anything,
so there's nothing they can do.
-These kids did it
in Beverly hills.
-Actually, Charles manson
came up with the idea first.
He coined
the term "creepy crawls."
-I'm sure somebody at some point
decided to prank their friend
and went into their house
and rearranged their furniture
before Charles manson.
That's some heavy shit.
-I actually know the perfect
place to creepy crawl --
some rich guy's mansion
in the Hollywood hills.
-How do we get in?
-I know the security code.
-Let's just say I know it,
and end of story, okay?
Go straight
till I tell you what to do.
-Okay. Cool.
-Wait here.
Okay. I found these
in one of my mother's boxes.
Her and her friends
used to wear them at parties.
Take one.
-I don't get it.
Why do we need these?
-There are security cameras
All right. Let's get out
and hop the fence, okay?
-Wait. How do you know
the house is empty?
-Just stop asking stupid
questions and trust me, okay?
Put them on.
Go along the side of the house
and look in the windows
to make sure nobody's home.
Nobody's home.
All right.
You guys wait here.
I'm gonna go open
the front door, okay?
-Don't move.
Where's she going?
-Guess she's gonna let us in.
Guys, look at this place.
Oh, my God.
I could get used to that.
-What is it?
-There's no one in the kitchen.
-Hillary, get the light.
-Yeah, no one's upstairs.
We're alone.
Let's make ourselves at home.
-Now what?
-Now what?
How about a joint, huh?
-Thank you.
-You good?
- I'm good.
-You guys...
Let's move
all the furniture outside.
-I like that idea.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's throw the couch in first.
Yo, mask on.
-Let's throw it in the pool.
They should put
all their furniture underwater.
It's so much prettier that way.
What a great idea.
Couldn't agree with you more.
-Underwater interior design.
You'd probably make a fortune
with that in Beverly hills.
-Let's go see
what else we can find.
-Somebody needs to go down there
and rearrange the furniture.
Come on, guys.
What do you think, Hillary?
-Yeah. Strip.
-All right.
-We should go inside
and get some more furniture.
This is so much fun, Chloe.
Sorry I can be so lame.
-Don't worry about it.
-Just remember...
There will always be things
you'll never know
if you don't try.
Let's go.
You guys
should see it down there.
It's crazy.
- That sounds fun.
Let's all do that.
- Ready?
-Get those legs in here!
-1, 2, 3!
I can't believe she did that!
What's wrong with her?!
Don't overreact.
It's just her way of having fun.
Well, to me, it seems like
whenever anything is perfect,
she finds a way
to make it feel awkward.
I mean, what is this --
underwater porn?
-She probably saw it in one
of what's-her-name's videos.
And Jason
is like her little lapdog.
Whenever she throws him a bone,
he takes it.
There's someone on the balcony.
No, I don't see anything.
Hillary, I'm sure it's nothing.
-I really think we should
take our clothes and leave.
What are you guys doing?
-I really want to go home now.
-Yeah, there's someone up there.
-Come on, dude.
We checked this shit
when we came in!
No one's up there!
Let's get in the water and
have some fun! Come on, bro!
-Go check that balcony
and the room behind it.
-You can't be serious, bro!
Don't tell me you're fucking
this up. You promised me.
She was fucking blowing me.
Come on.
-So you didn't?
-So, fuck you, dude!
Come on!
What are we gonna do now?
-Let's just take our clothes
and get dressed.
Maybe he's right.
We're just being paranoid.
-But you saw something, too,
I'll go up there
and check it out.
I'm gonna go look
for some towels.
I'm gonna check the bathroom.
-Look what I found.
-Nice family.
You want to keep it?
-I wish I still had
your sense of humor.
The man in the photo...
Is the producer of the show
that Chloe auditioned for.
And if I understood her
he also had an affair
with Chloe's mother.
Don't you think that's weird?
-Just put your clothes on.
Let's go check upstairs.
-I have an idea.
-Let's go get Jason and Chloe.
Come on. Come on.
Hey, there's two little girls
and their nanny
hiding in a room upstairs.
We need to get
the fuck out of here.
-So now you're scared
of kids and nannies?
Got to be kidding me.
As long as they stay upstairs,
we're fine.
I'm having fun.
Aren't you, Jason?
- Yeah.
Looks like you guys
are a little bit tense, huh?
-What's wrong with you, Chloe?
You probably knew about it
all along.
Is it not enough that they had
to watch you giving blow jobs?
Do you get your sick kicks
out of this?
Or is this your little revenge
because their father
sleeps with your mother?
I saw the photos
in the bathroom.
It's one of those little family
shots you have on your phone.
This is disgusting.
I can't believe
you made us a part of this.
-What if they called the cops
and they're on their way here?
-If they did,
wouldn't they be here already?
-All right.
What if their parents come back?
-They're in Hawaii.
With your mom.
-Jason, don't be such an idiot.
Connect the dots.
I can't even think
about this anymore.
I'm leaving.
-Nick, go get her
and make sure
she doesn't screw anything up.
-Fuck you!
-Dude, you know my dad, man!
Come on!
-Just don't do anything
you're gonna regret!
I can't even tell you
how much I regret
that I ever even met her!
And you -- why are you
always on their side?
Can't you see what fucked-up
losers these two are?
-They're my friends.
-I know, Nick.
I know they are.
-I didn't know
you felt this way.
- Where are you?!
Are you even listening to me?!
Look, we need to get
Chloe and Jason out of here
before things get worse.
-What do you think you're doing,
Mary poppins?
You're no better than us.
If I remember correctly, it was
your idea to decorate the pool.
And what difference
does it make which family
lives in this house anyway?
You are in this
just as deep as we are.
-I know.
And I'm not arguing with you,
but now we need to go.
-Well, before we go, we need to
make sure that the kids upstairs
don't tell anybody about this.
They saw all of us
with our masks off,
which makes them witnesses.
-I don't understand.
What are you going to do?
I'm sure
they didn't see anything,
and they're too little
to describe any of us anyway!
-What makes you so sure?
What if you're wrong?
-Yeah. We have to make sure.
My dad will fucking kill me!
-Let's just go upstairs
and tell them that we're
leaving through the door
and they can come out
in 30 minutes.
Then we'll be gone.
-What if they get out
and they call the cops
and we're all still around?!
That's too fucking risky, man!
-What are you doing?
-I'm gonna go upstairs
and make sure they understand
that talking to anybody
about this
would be extremely dangerous.
-You can't be serious
about this.
Guys, tell her to stop!
-No! Make sure she does
exactly what Chloe says!
It's all your goddamn fault!
You still don't get it.
Why do you think you're here?
You probably think
we're friends, right?
That just shows
how stupid you are.
I knew from the moment
I saw you at the beach,
you were one of them.
All you were missing
was the umbrella.
Too bad for you to be at the
wrong place at the wrong time.
How perfect you were.
You did everything
I wanted you to do...
Much better
than that stupid fucking bird.
-I don't understand.
What do you mean?
-Of course you don't understand.
Look at you.
You probably think
we're all buddies.
How nice it would be for you
to play house with Nick.
Kind of like how your entire
life, everything was perfect...
Till that little accident
It's very sad.
Daddy was there...
...taking care of his girl.
I'm gonna teach you a lesson
you'll never forget.
...everything's gonna be okay.
I'm not gonna tell anyone.
I promise.
How stupid do you think I am?
Nick, please!
-I almost forgot.
I thought
about what you said to me...
About your mother's death.
I think you're right.
It is your fault.
-Bye-bye, Mary poppins.
You know what to do, Jason.
-Don't do this.
This isn't a dream.
This is real.
-Chloe, the cops
will be here any minute!
We need to leave now!
You still need
to get rid of that car!
-What are you doing out here,
There's no waves today.
-Be alone.
Get wet.
-Tried calling you
like all day yesterday.
Your dad said you guys
are moving to the city?
When were you planning
on telling me that?
I kind of had no idea.
I mean, like, I saw the sign
in front of your door,
but I never thought you guys
would actually leave here.
-The sign's been there
for fucking six months.
You never once brought it up.
Kind of not a great thing,
you know?
You would hope that
at least your best friend
would care enough
to ask about it.
-How'd you get home
the other night?
You just ran away.
-I don't want to talk about it.
-You know my dad.
You know he couldn't have
found out about that shit.
You know that.
-I just stood there.
Didn't do anything.
Just left her alone
with you guys.
-Really shouldn't beat
yourself up over it.
I mean,
she took off her clothes.
She jumped in.
Nobody made her do that.
-Did you bring her home?
-Man, I don't know.
I can barely remember anything.
So, have you talked to her?
-She disappeared.
No phone, Facebook, e-mail --
all dead.
She probably moved
back to Boston.
She probably did.
-How about Chloe?
-I went to her house
this morning.
There were police
all over the fucking place.
They said her and her mom
were squatting in the house.
The cops were pissed.
They left
before they could arrest them.
-What happened with the car?
-No idea.
We can't let this shit
break up our friendship, man.
We've been friends forever.
They're just girls.
They're all the same.
They just pretend
to be different...
Though, I have to say,
her blow job was fantastic.
Fuck you!
-What the fuck, dude?!
You were there,
and you did nothing!
You fucked this up,
and you know it!
-This was, uh, left for you
outside this morning
by the front door.
You, uh, still want to go
to that dodger game?
-Uh, yeah.
Well, we leave in five minutes.
Dad, can you pull over, please?
Dad, stop here!
-Stop right here!
Where? Here?
-Yeah, right here.
-Wait a minute.
What the hell?!
-Since when are you
into vintage cars?
-Just lately.
-I got to say, this -- this car
gives me the creeps.
-Why is that?
-'59 Ford fairlane.
It's the same model
the manson family
used the night
they murdered those people.
-I didn't know that.
Not surprised.
Never mind.
"There is no love in life.
"Nobody knows better than me.
"So don't waste your time
looking for it.
"All you'll find
is pain and sadness.
And don't worry about Hillary."
-"In the end,
I made her dream come true."
- I want to grow
before I grow up
I want to die
with my chin up
I don't know if you mean
you are the one to love
I don't know if you mean
you are the one to love
ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
heart and soul
ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
never know
ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
heart and soul
ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
I want to shine
before I shut up
I want to die
with my chin up
I don't know if you mean
you are the one to love
I don't know if you mean
you are the one to love
ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
heart and soul
ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
never know
ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
heart and soul
ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
never know
and I can tell
by the look in your eyes
you didn't know the way
all die young
when love is love
and when you are young
all die young
when love is love
and when you are young
all die young
when love is love
and when you are young
all die young
when love is love
and when you are young
it takes all my time
to be in love with you
it takes all of my time
what do I do?
all die young
when love is love
and when you are young
all die young
when love is love
and when you are young
all die young
when love is love
and when you are young
all die young
when love is love
and when you are young
all die young
when love is love