Camp Crasher (2024) Movie Script

1
[upbeat music plays]
#VERYPREGNAN[babbling]
[child exclaims, giggles]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SON!
TODAY WE WORK
CAMP CRASHER
RECENT SEARCHES: RAMI
PENDING
THIS ACCOUNT IS PRIVATE
FOLLOW THIS ACCOUN-[truck beeping]
-[tense music playing]
[air brakes hissing]
[man] Hey!
[woman] Easy does it!
Slip it right in there. Nice and gentle.
No. Come on, like you mean it.
Okay, too far. Too far.
-Can you drive? What's his problem?
-I've got it. Don't rush me.
You sure don't look like you've got it.
Pull up.
Pull up. Pull up, pull up!
The hell?
Are you pranking me?
-No, but...
-Okay, let me in. Scoot over.
-You make me nervous, Patricia.
-Right.
I'd have been fine if you weren't here.
[air brakes hiss]
-Mother of God.
-Oops.
He's been driving 60 years,
you think he'd be more chill.
It's you. You stress him out.
And how am I supposed
to look you in the eye?
I don't recognize you anymore.
-How come...
-Don't you have work to do?
It's been slow so I'm rehearsing.
How come I can't see this pic of Rami?
[chuckles] You know why, Patri.
How?
Nah...
-Eh...
-He must've blocked me by mistake.
-He's got butterfingers, that boy.
-He didn't block his cool aunt.
Okay, back to work for real.
Acting is my work.
-But I thought you worked in logistics.
-[woman] Mm.
Is the load of urine samples
set to four degrees?
-Yes, I know.
-Are you sure?
We wouldn't want a repeat of last time,
when the temp dropped
and they arrived frozen.
-Want me to block you?
-When your work's done, kiddo.
Hey.
You work way too much.
Maybe get a massage,
or pick up a hobby for once?
Oh sure, why not? Let me see...
Intro to Origami class, or... No, bonsai.
-Which do you think is more me?
-I mean it.
I have a business to run. Please.
When did you last take a vacation,
Patricia?
-Papa never took a vacation.
-Yeah, that's what killed him.
Oh my God.
You think Pop died 'cause of work?
Nah, the man smoked like a chimney.
Isn't it weird you're trying to impress
a guy who named his business
Pomir and Sons,
despite only having daughters?
Show some respect, that's our father.
It's thanks to him you have this job
and have time to do your play-acting.
[snaps fingers] Get to work, I'm busy.
Holding onto all Pop's baggage
is bad for you.
Can't you put yourself first
for once in your life?
You deserve to take some time off.
Have some fun!
-Why don't you work for once in your life?
-[scoffs]
-See ya, Carlita.
-Bye.
[gentle music plays]
[door opens]
[Patri] Rami!
[sighs] I'm home.
Ramiro.
Rami!
-[toy squeaks]
-[grunts]
-[toy squeaking]
-Rami!
[sighs]
For the love of...
Son of a bitch! Ramiro!
Ramiro!
Hey!
-Ugh.
-Yeah?
Hey!
Can you please
clean up after yourself for once!
Just once can you put the lid
on one single bottle,
that's all I'm asking.
If I had my own game room,
I wouldn't get the house dirty.
Oh yeah, if you had that,
you'd be a zombie!
Not a chance.
[sighs] Please help me out here,
Rami, darling.
[kisses]
Can you please shower, Rami?
-Go take a damn shower.
-You don't have to boss me around.
I obviously do have to. I'm serious, go.
I don't want to.
My body, my choice. Maybe later, 'kay?
[Patri sighs]
[shower running]
Don't forget to scrub your ears.
Oh, unbelievable...
Your room looks like someone
dropped a bomb. My God...
-Did you hear me?
-[Rami] Yes, I'll clean it later.
Yeah, I'm sure.
[phone chimes]
Hey, Rami.
I'll put your backpack on your bed.
And I brought you some sunscreen too.
-[Rami] All right, already.
-Hm.
Take a blanket, okay?
It gets super cold there at night.
[phone chimes]
And don't wait till the last minute
to pack your backpack.
Do you know if we're out of bug spray?
-[phone chimes]
-[Rami] Why would I know that, Ma?
SHE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!
SHE'S UNBEARABLE
DID YOU ASK HER?
DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HER?
I ALREADY TOLD HER. SHE AGREES.
[Walter] All right, glad to hear it.
You can move in here
as soon as camp's over.
-My God...
-Love you, kiddo.
All right, glad to hear it.
You can move in here
as soon as camp's over.
Love you, kiddo.
[melancholy piano music plays]
[music fades]
You wanna pick out some tunes for us?
How about that song you like... Um...
In a new Benz, man
I'm drivin' my friends
No, Mom, no. It's not about "friends."
He's with a singer.
"Ferxxo" with an X.
"Ferxxo"? Is he a big deal?
[Rami chuckles softly]
What color chair do you want
for your game space?
Black or red?
Black is always classic.
But then, you could also do two colors.
Live a little.
Don't worry 'bout it, Mom.
Right, the color's whatever,
the most important thing is your comfort.
'Cause you'll be spending
a lot of time in it. All your time.
[gentle music plays]
Um...
Butterfly kiss me?
-No, Ma... Mom, stop, cut it out.
-Dee-dee-dee!
Hon, you used to love that, right?
-[sighs]
-Babe, have a great day.
I love you!
I'll make him an epic game room. Epic.
I'll cook his favorite dinner every day.
He'll get all the burgers he can handle.
He can watch endless Netflix.
He can watch
any bullshit show he wants to.
-And forget about bedtimes.
-Ah. Oh, fantastic.
We're going through a rough patch,
he's a preteen, and that's normal!
Right?
I guess.
I'll do whatever it takes
to keep him with me.
-It could be a learning experience, huh?
-Learning's for dipshits.
Living with his dad
might not be the worst thing.
-It means I failed as a mother.
-No, that's not what it means, hon. It's...
Fine, I'll look for the damn chair.
-You mean it?
-Yes. It'll be okay, babe, don't worry.
-I don't know shit about gaming.
-Me neither, but we'll figure this out...
-Then start researching it!
-Okay, gimme a sec, I'm on it.
God... What is it? A video game chair?
Rami. Look what I got you.
But I don't need it.
You do!
It's on the packing list they gave us.
But Dad let me use his.
Ah... Maybe you can take mine
in case that breaks.
You can't be too prepared. Come on.
Hey.
To have on the bus ride.
You're serious?
You're on vacation. Come on. Whoo!
Well, thank you.
[humming happily]
-I've got underwear.
-Yes, but these are boxers.
Didn't you say you were too old
for briefs because you're 12 now?
Mama listens, am I right? Plus...
I put your name on the tags.
I packed my undies, I don't need more.
I know, but why not put some on top,
in case you're in a big rush?
I won't be!
Please let me pack my backpack, by myself.
Fine, I'm sorry.
I was just trying to help you.
Sorry, Rami...
Hey, you're gonna be gone
for almost a week.
I'm gonna miss you, kid.
Don't shut me out here.
I wanna be in your life.
Please, look at me.
We used to be best friends.
You loved hugs and snuggles.
What happened to us?
Tell me what I can do to help you.
Just leave me alone. For once? Yeah?
Thank you.
[sighs]
You know, Rami,
you can tell me about anything.
Like what?
Anything.
Actually...
I do wanna tell you something.
Let me pack my bags my own way.
Don't tell me where to put my underwear.
And it's all the time.
It's like I always do everything wrong.
Why can't I make my own choices?
-Because I've got 30 years on y...
-You see?
These kids in my class
say I'm a mama's boy.
That you treat me like a dog on a leash.
'Kay, who do I have to strangle?
Just kidding.
Don't pay any attention to those idiots.
Mom, I... I wanna live my own life,
make my own mistakes.
Can't you see that?
Mom, I'm gonna get some water. That okay?
Uh-huh.
[gentle piano music plays]
[music fades]
The main thing is to have fun.
You'll make some life-long memories there.
Don't forget to wear plenty of sunscreen
because the sun's more powerful up there.
Like, more than you think.
It cools off at night, though.
And I threw in more bug spray
in case the old bottle's empty...
-Mom, please stop.
-For sure, boss.
-Crazy, right?
-Hey, Bauti.
-Hey!
-Hey!
[pleasant music playing]
[indistinct conversations]
-Meri.
-[Meri] Oh, hey.
-Ah, I'm sorry, we'll be home soon...
-[Francesca] Hey, look, it's Patricia.
[Patri] Hey.
-Hello.
-Oh, hi.
-Patri.
-[Patri] Hey, how you been?
-You must be nearly due!
-Pretty soon.
-Can't wait.
-[Patri] I'm glad.
Well, then, Rami's gonna have a blast.
Yeah, he'll love camp.
I know about your plan. Ugh!
[Walter sighs]
-Have you been brainwashing Ramiro?
-What do you mean?
He wants to move in with you
once his trip is over, doesn't he?
-Yep. Why are you blowing up?
-Because I'm pissed off, Walter. Pardon...
Pardon my French,
but your husband's a bastard.
Believe me, I'd know.
It's cool.
This is the kinda thing
we should discuss together like adults,
which I thought we were. At least I am.
But he told me
he wanted to talk with you himself.
He said that it was important to him.
Patri, that struck me as mature...
Sure, it would be,
if I'd heard it from him.
What are you talking about?
Why'd you think I asked you
for his pillows last week?
I'm just not sure
why this is all so shocking...
I don't know.
I thought maybe they were for a trip
or something like that. I don't know!
-Fine.
-You're about to have a baby.
Are you both insane?
Do you really wanna add
a preteen into that?
You know what that'll do to you?
Rami reached out to me.
You should've seen him, Patri.
-He practically begged me.
-Sorry to butt in, but I heard Rami.
He really seems to want this.
-You can always put your foot down.
-Sure, let Mom play bad cop.
Patri, let him be his own person.
-Are you fine with this?
-Oh, I love the idea.
I'm obsessed with Ramiro.
I call him my little buddy.
Oh, you're best buddies?
You chat over coffee...
Ah, boys are moody,
but when we talk on PlayStation,
he really opens up.
Ah, you guys play? You have one at home?
Uh, I set him up his own game room,
so he'd feel more at home when he's...
That's why he wants to move!
Because you're enabling him.
You let him hide
and never talk to his mom again.
-[Walter] Come on.
-Asshole. Bastard.
-Sorry.
-You're good. It's cool.
It's fine. Well...
-But...
-My goodness.
But you told me
you already talked to Patricia?
Rami swore he had it covered.
But his mom's just a lot to take.
Hello, everyone! Good morning.
Can everyone hear me?
Please gather 'round.
I'm sorry to announce
that I have some bad news.
Our drivers here took a routine drug test,
and the results just came back positive.
Are you kidding?
-[man] Unacceptable!
-I take kids on this trip every year.
And this has never happened before.
-Could've told us earlier.
-I just found out.
Excuse me, Diego?
It's me, Giselle. I'll be chaperoning.
-Yes?
-Does this mean the trip is cancelled?
We don't know yet.
I'll consult the principal
and figure it out.
How could you
let something like this happen?
-Sorry, but I need answers now.
-Calm down...
No, I'm not calming down.
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
This is reprehensible.
-One moment...
-You reckless idiots!
Hope your boozing was worth...
-What's gonna happen?
-[girl] I don't know!
I can't believe this is happening.
-[Giselle] You bozos!
-This is our class trip!
We've been promised this.
They can't take it from us!
[Diego] Okay. I'll find the principal.
-I'll be right back. Excuse me.
-What'll happen? Figure this out.
[parents conversing unhappily]
MORE THAN 100 DESTINATIONS
ACROSS THE COUNTRY
-We've been waiting for this all year.
-Man, this blows.
-What'll we do now?
-We'll think of something.
-[boy] I hope so.
-Hey, what's up?
My name is Ms. Patricia Pomir,
accent on the "o."
Uh, I think one of your buses is on fire.
Oh yeah,
it's completely gone up in flames.
Better put me through to your boss,
whoever's at the top of the food chain.
[woman] Yes, of course, one sec.
-[man] Hello?
-Hey there, boss man.
-How are you?
-Fine.
Please, help me out here.
My son's class was about to head out
for camp, aboard one of your buses.
Until we found out the drivers you sent
are apparently quite wasted.
I haven't smelled that much booze
since the World Cup.
Are you sure about that, ma'am?
I'm sure. Come down and see for yourself.
There's a crowd of pissed-off parents
here who'd sure love to have a word.
Put two of your sober drivers on a bus
and send them over now.
Ma'am, I'm sorry,
but you guys are gonna have to reschedule.
-We're all booked up.
-Please, listen to me carefully.
I don't give a shit about
your damn schedule or your bookings.
I know I'm shouting, but I'm stressed out.
My cortisol is rising and I need you
to figure this mess out now.
Or I promise I'll make sure
your company gets closed down for sure.
I'll be sure to tell the cops
you're endangering children.
If you can't tell,
I'm not the kinda person
you wanna go up against, okay?
Lady, I don't know what to tell ya.
I'm all outta drivers.
[dramatic musical sting]
[intriguing music plays]
This is obviously a bad situation.
-I can't find the principal.
-Is there someone I can speak to?
-Thank you, but it isn't your job to...
-Excuse me. Hello. Hey, there. Morning.
I just got off the phone with a higher-up
from over at the bus company.
It seems like this can go two ways.
Cancel the trip for now...
[all] No!
[Diego] Guys, it's a viable option.
Come on, please, let her speak.
But there's another option...
[woman] What?
But if we don't want to postpone,
I can drive them.
-[girl] You?
-Sorry?
-[girl] Rami's mom?
-Huh?
Here is my commercial license.
It's current. I've driven semis, buses.
The guy I spoke to said he can send
two drivers for the return.
If nobody has a better idea,
I'm more than willing to drive them,
and we can leave right now.
[girl] Awesome!
Whose mom are you again?
-Ramiro's.
-Rami's. She's Rami's mom.
She's a driver. What do you drive?
So I run a transport company.
You know, shipping?
It's a family business.
We've been around 40 years.
And you guys can trust me
behind the wheel,
'cause I swear, I was born and raised,
and conceived my kid in one of those.
-[people laughing]
-[woman] Nice!
I understand, but do you have experience
driving buses full of children?
-It's cool.
-[woman] Can I jump in?
Thanks for this, Patricia.
I know and trust you.
She's for real, you guys.
I know you're okay,
and I have no doubt about your abilities.
I've got a hair appointment.
Do I need to sign a waiver?
-I'm pretty sure... You're good.
-Anyone else?
I've known Patricia for many years.
I can attest
to her excellent driving skills.
-[woman] All right!
-[man] What're we waiting for?
[all cheering]
I'm sorry, Patricia,
but I just don't feel comfortable.
Hey, kids, let's go back home.
-[girl] Why?
-Where are the twins?
-She's a professional.
-Excuse me.
-[woman] We're wasting time.
-I don't feel okay sending my kids either.
-Meri...
-I've got some issues too.
-Oh, Pedro, come on... Meri...
-Well, sorry, Meri.
-Wanna go to camp now?
-[people cheering]
Next stop, Baril?
-[girl] Yeah!
-Baril!
-[Diego] No, Tandilo.
-[girl] We're going to Tandilo!
[Diego] Anyone who's not convinced,
come and talk with me.
We'll have a huddle here.
-[woman] Does she have experience?
-[man] You heard her.
I can't believe her!
The camping trip's my thing.
What's your mom think about you moving?
I haven't told her.
She know?
Please, tell her soon.
And have fun at camp,
remember to make the most of it.
I'm just so sick of Mom.
Why can't you drive us?
[kisses]
Talk to your mom, and go have a good time.
-[Patri] One, two.
-Go have fun!
Three, four, five, six.
-It's time to hit the road!
-How could you do this?
-[girl] Bye, you guys!
-You should've asked me.
What?
Aren't you glad?
No, I'm not. You ruined my whole trip.
You totally crossed the line.
[woman] Oh! Bye-bye, have fun!
Oh. Well, I guess I messed up.
-I guess it's better to postpone the trip.
-No! No!
[Patri] I'm sorry, you guys.
-[kids] No! Please!
-Mom, wait, okay. Wait.
Okay, you'll drive us.
But when the other drivers come,
you'll go.
Swear to me that you'll go back home.
[kisses]
-Seven!
-And please quit counting us.
It feels too weird, please don't.
[quietly] Eight. That's another one. Ten...
Hey, Rami, you glad Mommy's here?
Did she bring leashes for everyone?
-[children laugh]
-[imitates barking]
[laughing, imitating barking]
Sweetheart, sit near the front.
You wanna be nice and close to me.
I'm sorry about earlier.
You're not in the Mom's Chat, right?
-Is that on WhatsApp?
-Uh-huh.
No, Rami's dad does all that stuff.
Ah, Walter. He's wonderful.
-He just loves to help.
-Yep.
He's a great guy. He does a lot. Too much.
[engine starts]
Honey, sit down!
You might fall there. Sit down, hon.
No, not the aisle seat.
Take the window, admire the scenery.
If you put down that book.
No problem, Mabel.
I'll be sure to update you. Ciao.
The principal, she wants all the deets.
Well, then... you ready to go camping?
Trust me, I've never been more ready.
-Diego?
-Yeah.
I drive fast, so you should buckle up.
For real?
[Patri] Yeah.
[chuckles]
[rock music playing]
[kids] In the big bus
Patri is our driver
Everybody's gonna
Go to camp together!
In the big bus
Patri is our driver
Everybody's gonna
Go to camp together!
In the big bus
Patri is our driver
Everybody's gonna
Go to camp together!
In the big bus
Patri is our driver
Everybody's gonna
Go to camp together!
[rock music continues]
[music ends]
[girl 1] I packed a few cute tops.
And jean shorts, of course.
[girl 2] Oh my God, I went so overboard.
-I brought, like, all my clothes.
-No, me too, me too.
[chuckling] It's like,
I mean, I don't know,
I've never gone camping before...
-[girl 1] I like having options.
-Did you remember your allergy kit?
Huh?
Did you remember your allergy kit?
You might get stung by something.
Yes, Mom.
[girl 1] Yeah, so did I!
[girl 2] I hope I don't get
my new sneakers too dirty out there.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm contemplating.
Maybe we'll have our first kisses at camp.
What?
No, not like ours, like, together.
That'd be gross.
'Cause you're like my sister.
I meant, my first kiss,
and yours too, separately.
I know. [chuckles]
I'd kiss Sofa. You?
-No, I'm fine.
-Hey, you must like someone.
When you like somebody, you have to act.
Diego, I wanted to thank you
for everything you do for my Luz.
Hey, don't mention it.
I mean, Luz is a very smart kid,
and she's observant.
Plus, I do my part to look out for her.
I send her to gym class
with her knee pads.
[Diego chuckles] Her helmet, I'm aware.
It's just that I'm worried,
because if she gets distracted,
she might get hurt or stumble...
I understand.
But Luz has no trouble paying attention.
I wouldn't worry about her.
[chuckles]
You're just so good with her.
[Diego chuckles] Want some mat?
[Giselle clears throat]
-It's disgusting, huh?
-[Giselle] Sorry?
I mean, the straw, it's gross.
Isn't it? [chuckles]
All the guys at my work always borrow
my mat and spit all over the straw.
[Giselle] Hmm.
If you need to go to the bathroom,
now's your chance.
We'll grab some breakfast here,
but then back out in 20! Be quick!
-Thirteen, oh, fourteen...
-[Diego] Uh-huh.
-Stop counting us!
-[Patri] Mm-hmm.
[quietly] Sixteen...
[child] Whoa, a cow!
-[cow mooing]
-[Diego] Huh? Go on in.
Your food looks suspiciously vegan.
It isn't vegan, it's vegetarian.
That's even worse.
How are we gonna become school legends
with my mom here?
[clicks tongue] Rami,
she promised to go home soon,
don't you believe her?
No, if I was Rami, I'd kill you.
Have you lost your mind?
That is so not cool.
-Why did you ruin his trip?
-[Patri] I saved it!
These kids would still be stuck at school
if it wasn't for Rami's cool mom.
Oh, sure, except you're not cool.
You should use the thicker screws.
Who are you talking to? Ramn?
What would he need screws for?
Hey, what's going on over there?
You gotta stay on task.
My sister made me
buy a gaming chair, remember?
Uh, never mind.
Just have fun, take care of Ramiro,
win him over, and let me work, okay?
[clicks tongue]
I'm so scared. Have I lost Ramiro?
Well, when the going gets tough,
desperate times, measures,
you know, all that jazz.
Huh?
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Do you sell underwear?
-[woman] What?
-You know, panties.
-For camping?
Luz has so much trouble
getting involved with the others.
We did try the whole therapy thing,
but that was a total nightmare.
-You see, we found a bunch of duds.
-Mm-hmm.
They all told me
that Luz is completely normal,
that I'm the one who needs the therapy.
-[chuckles]
-It's absurd!
Maybe you should give it a shot.
My two cents.
-Come on, let's roll.
-[Patri] Hey.
[boy] To the back, guys.
Two...
[Diego] All aboard, campers! Time to go!
See, I was popular back in school,
a real leader.
-Uh-huh?
-Yeah.
The other girls all wanted
to come sleep over at my house.
Boys always fought over me.
-I was amazing at sports.
-Hmm?
Oh man,
I played some field hockey and softball.
-I was captain of the volleyball team.
-Really?
Soccer was always my sport.
-Is that so?
-Why, does that surprise you? It's true.
-You look like a soccer player.
-[chuckles]
An ex-player, that is.
Oh, no, I still play. I'm in a league.
All old guys,
but we still play hard. Really.
[Giselle chuckles]
Hey...
Where is Luz?
-No, it rules.
-Luz, where are you?
Where's my daughter?
My baby's been kidnapped, you guys!
-Luz?
-Where's Luz?
Have you guys seen her?
-Luz! Where is she?
-[Diego] Calm down.
-We'll find her.
-Where's my daughter?
[gentle piano music playing]
Luz! Luz!
Have you lost your damn mind?
I thought someone kidnapped you!
Come with me, come on.
I can't believe this...
-It's okay, honey.
-Sorry.
Don't feel bad.
You're not in trouble.
It's not your fault.
[pleasant instrumental music plays]
TAIEL RANCH
[music ends]
Hello, everyone, and welcome!
Come on, sing it!
[all] Hello, everyone, and welcome!
[man] Yeah!
Welcome to camp, you guys.
-You bet.
-[man] So, my scout name is Brother Bear.
But in real life, I'm Miguel.
And nature and I are one.
By the end of camp,
you'll be one with nature too.
You'll have five days
to learn to work as a team,
and to appreciate
all the outdoors has to offer.
And if that's not cool enough for you,
I'm gonna teach you
techniques to survive in the wild.
-So, how does that sound?
-[kids] Sounds good. Cool!
This guy's in for it, huh?
-These kids will eat him like trail mix.
-[people laugh]
[Miguel] And now, it's time
for you to answer the call of adventure.
To officially welcome you to the wild,
I'll paint your faces
with my special war paint.
It's got some magic gold dust
and a bunch of other good stuff
for you all.
Form a line right here, gang.
Single file, please.
Hey, moms, come get some!
No, no, thank you.
I'm mindful about what I put on my face.
You don't put any on either. Okay?
[mellow jazz music playing]
[Miguel] You good? Who's next?
Ah.
-That's it.
-You look awesome.
Hello, everyone, and welcome!
-Please, act normal. My friends are here.
-My bad, my bad.
I won't bug you at all, 'kay?
Why aren't you at work?
-Perfect.
-[boy] I'm golden!
-It's fine. I left your auntie in charge.
-Wear this proudly.
I mean, I had to drive you here, right?
-Okay, just stay out the way.
-I'm gonna stick to the sidelines...
-Bauti!
-[gasps]
[tense music plays]
What?
-What? Hey, what's wrong?
-Hey! You're all...
What is it?
What happened?
-[panting]
-[flies buzzing]
Does the paint have mustard?
I'm not sure.
[Ari] Bautista's allergic to mustard.
-Does it have mustard?
-Yeah, it has a little bit.
-Son, where do you keep your allergy kit?
-[Bauti] There...
-Where is the kit?
-[Ari] In his backpack.
[Diego] It's okay. You're okay.
You'll be fine. I just...
-Here it is.
-[Ari] That's it.
[music fades]
[birds chirping]
Is this hell?
Guys, he's okay.
I thought you were a goner.
Bauti, you looked hideous.
-[Diego sighs in relief]
-[Bauti] Hey...
I bet this is gonna win over the girls.
-Huh?
-My brush with death.
It's so mysterious.
Girls love danger, you know?
[Diego sighs]
-He'll be fine.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-Oh, I'm so glad.
[ominous Western music plays]
[music continues]
-[child 1] I wanna rock-climb.
-[child 2] That's not easy.
[child 3] I'm down.
Where's that bridge go to?
Nobody uses that thing.
I'd steer clear of it
if you don't wanna die.
It's not sturdy, see?
[bridge creaking]
That's sick.
I took us to this grove
because it's very serene.
Here we'll talk with the Wind Gods.
[child] He make that up?
Remember this thing?
-Mm-hmm.
-Yes.
[Miguel] Back at your school,
you wrote yourselves letters
about the future, which is right now.
We'll read them here
on the very last day we're here, out loud.
You can share your hopes and dreams
with the Wind Gods,
and they'll make them come true.
[scoffs] What if there's no wind, huh?
Are there Sun Gods?
[laughing]
Well, uh, I mean...
Why don't you give the Wind Gods
a little bit more credit, okay?
We can't let her hear my letter.
-Huh?
-My letter. I wrote it about my mom.
[Diego chuckling]
[duck quacking]
[Rami] Okay, we found it.
I saw Brother Bear go inside
with the letters.
Pass me the flashlight.
-[Ari] So what was the bag like?
-[Rami] What do you mean?
The size, the color, you know?
Ah. It was a grayish and kind of big,
I think.
So how bad is this letter, really?
-[cans clatter]
-Shh!
[cat yowls]
-We're gonna get in so much trouble.
-No...
Guys, be quiet.
[mysterious music playing]
Why does he have an empty fish tank?
It's so weird. Is he psychotic?
I bet he ate his own pet fish.
Oh my God.
This tank isn't for a fish.
It's for tarantulas.
There's a tarantula?
The lid is wide open.
-[Rami gasps]
-[music intensifies]
Come on.
[suspenseful music plays]
[snoring]
-[whispering] He's fast asleep.
-[sighs]
-[continues snoring]
-[suspenseful music continues]
[both gasp]
[shuddering]
-[both] Rami!
-[gasps]
Can we leave now?
[mysterious music playing]
[Ari] Come on, Rami!
You're not gonna find it.
Come on, let's go!
[sighs]
Did you bring your entire nightstand?
It's for my nighttime skin care routine.
Don't you have a nighttime routine?
Sure. Except mine's a glass of red wine.
[both chuckle]
You can have all the drawers.
Yeah, go for it. I packed kinda light.
There are only two beds here,
and I'm rooming with Luz...
Oh, really?
She's not gonna room with her friends?
No. My Luz doesn't connect with that crew...
That's why I came along too.
Because she doesn't quite fit in.
But in that case, shouldn't she try?
No, because, to be honest,
those kids are actually pretty weird.
[music playing on phone]
[Giselle] Where are you two ladies going,
arm in arm?
Martina! Hello.
-Hey.
-Is there room in your cabin for Luz?
Uh, yeah, of course. [chuckles]
Um, only if it's okay.
You're sure about this?
No, no, it's cool. Why not?
It's over there.
-You see? Everything is settled.
-But she's not friends with those girls.
But they could become friends.
This is an opportunity.
-Hey there, sweetheart. What's the haps?
-But Luz is different.
[kisses]
-[phone recording]
-Pop, hi.
Mom's making camp all about her. Save me.
[upbeat music plays]
-[indistinct conversations]
-[whistle blowing]
Come on!
Get this helmet on...
[Diego] Okay, are you ready?
-[kids] Yeah! All right!
-Let's go!
-[upbeat music continues]
-[kids cheering]
[Diego] You're good!
[Patri] Good job!
-Let's go, let's go!
-Whoo!
[Giselle] Be careful!
[music continues]
[all chanting] Come on!
Whoo!
[screams excitedly]
Okay, next!
-Have fun!
-Mommy! I want my mommy!
Bring it!
[giggling]
-Are you nervous?
-No way.
-Okay!
-[screams]
[laughing]
Whoo! [laughs]
-Whoo!
-[laughing]
[screams] Get me down!
[kids chanting] Give us some food!
Give us some food!
Give us some food!
All right,
all right, all right, all right.
Okay, if you wanna eat dinner at my camp,
you've gotta learn how to forage.
-What?!
-Huh?
Ah, just kidding.
Actually, we're going to make bread
from scratch together
for tonight's dinner.
We'll top it with tomato sauce and herbs.
Before you go into the kitchen,
set your phones in this ol' box here.
No more screen time for you guys.
-[kids groaning] No way!
-[Diego] I'm sorry, campers.
-[chuckles]
-I know that this hard for you, but...
Perfect! I'm so into this.
[Diego] Gonna go offline for a bit.
-Put your phones in here.
-[Martn] My doctor says I need my phone.
-For my health.
-It's true, can't you have a little heart?
No, I'm heartless.
You'll survive. Put 'em in here.
Rami, your phone. You too, come on.
Hey, Rami, come on.
[kid] I'm gonna lose my mind.
Thank you.
Sorry, um, could the moms give you
their numbers instead?
-[chuckling] No, no, don't sweat it.
-But it's for safety.
One, five, five, two,
three, two, seven, two, seven, six...
[mellow music plays]
Ah, it's getting under my nails. So gross.
Oh, man...
What's that?
[in Italian accent] Italia, Italiano,
pizza, pasta...
-[both chuckling]
-You messed it up.
[Ari] You used too much water.
[laughing]
-[chuckles]
-You got a great kid.
-Look at that grin.
-[laughing]
I'm glad he's having fun. I'm impressed.
I mean, his mom did crash his class trip.
Pardon?
I just wanted to be helpful.
-[Bauti] Yuck!
-You were, but that's not why you're here.
Maybe I should go?
No! I'm just teasing.
[Patri chuckles]
Who are those guys?
[mysterious music plays]
-I'll go.
-[girl] Nasty.
I'm sick of this.
-[man] That must be her.
-Hello.
-What's up? Are you Patricia Pomir?
-Yes.
-Arturo and Genaro, we're the...
-The replacement drivers.
-That's right. [chuckles]
-Sorry, I'm covered in flour.
Um, do you mind having a chat over here?
Could we take a nap first?
The trains, the bus ride,
the trip wiped us out.
We're not used to being passengers.
[chuckles]
If we could just get the key for the, uh...
Where'd you put the bus?
Why don't we go have that talk?
Man, you do look beat.
You guys really should relax.
Ah, is it obvious?
-Yeah...
-Well...
-When's the last time you took a vacation?
-Huh?
That long?
[mellow music plays]
This place has got two pools,
a tennis court, a full-service spa.
And I've only got one request,
only one, just don't raid the minibar.
All of that stuff's extra.
But everything else you see here
is fair game.
My treat to you guys.
That's all extremely generous,
but, um, we're on the clock here,
we're just doing our jobs.
It doesn't feel right
to take you up on your offer, see?
We really are grateful, but we can't.
Yep, we're working.
If my boss found out,
he would blow a gasket.
Yeah... Ah, it might look bad.
Oh, your boss isn't gonna find out.
You'll still drive the kids back.
Don't worry, I won't steal the bus.
-And it's only two days.
-It's three days, actually.
-Man...
-Three days, I need more...
-Three? Not bad.
-Hmm.
Okay, I'm having trouble with my son.
I need help.
-[Genaro] Hmm.
-Do you guys have kids?
-Yeah.
-Yeah? Then you know what it's like.
I mean, it's no joke
living with a preteen, it's awful.
-[Arturo] Oh...
-[clicks tongue]
My son can't stand me.
He wants to live with his dad.
As soon as camp is done.
I only have three days to win back Ramiro.
Seventy-two hours.
Look at this place.
I'm sure your boss works you to the bone.
Don't you need some R and R?
-[Arturo sighs]
-You boys in?
Well, to be honest, they've been cutting
our vacation time like crazy.
And this place is really nice.
[water splashing]
-Ah, well...
-Look at the pool.
[mysterious music plays]
[Bauti] Yeah, I'm out. It's too much.
Too spooky.
My goosebumps have goosebumps.
[laughs] Relax.
Hey, are you bored?
But this is why we came here!
Sorry, I was thinking about my mom.
Oh, that still? Come on, Rami.
All you've talked about
the entire school year
is the abandoned house.
Breaking inside it so we could be legends.
You're right, Ariana, I'm sorry.
Come and gather round, all ye campers,
it's time for the talent show!
[all cheering]
Will our first act
please come to the stage?
[mellow rock music playing]
What's up? I'm sure you all know
I'm a man of many talents.
So, for this performance,
I've chosen to imitate a cat.
-[imitates meowing]
-[kids laughing]
[all cheering and laughing]
Much obliged.
My talent is channelling the cow,
the coolest animal.
I'll just need a sec to warm up.
[clears throat]
[imitates mooing]
-[applause and cheering]
-Ooh!
[laughing]
[Luz speaking Jeringonza]
[kids laughing]
For my performance,
I'll be freeing gases from my mouth.
Through the esophagus.
[belching] Hello.
[kids cheering and laughing]
Good evening, my lovelies!
What a pleasure this is!
I do hope you're having a ball!
I'm just beside myself,
I mean it, I'm charmed!
[all laughing and cheering]
Go along Monroe Avenue for 1.1 kilometers.
-[kids laughing]
-Continue ahead.
Your destination will be on your right.
-[all cheering and laughing]
-[boy] Yeah!
[kids laughing]
[kids] Ooh!
[both chuckling]
-[girl] Hello! I'm gonna turn these...
-[Patri] What's up?
[Diego] Nice.
-[chuckling]
-It's true, nature and I are one.
I might survive this after all.
[chuckling]
-You just missed Ramiro's performance.
-Aw...
-Why'd you run off?
-Oh, just job stuff.
It's late, though.
Some of us moms have to work for a living.
-[girl] I'm double-jointed.
-I'm sorry. I have a job too.
"Cream by Gis" ring a bell?
Your best-looking skin starts with Gis
-Gis!
-[chuckles]
CEO, pleased to meet you.
I started in my kitchen.
Now I have 11 locations.
Five in the suburbs,
five in downtown Buenos Aires.
-I'm not some snobby housewife.
-No!
I'm a snob, but I work hard.
My goodness.
So, you said you're an ass-e-o?
-C-E-O. Naughty.
-[both chuckling]
All right.
I'm gonna tell you a true tale of terror.
[kids] Ooh!
Believe me, I wish this was fictional.
This actually happened on a dark night
at this camp here, in this forest.
If you go through the woods,
you'll find an old house.
And this house was abandoned
many years back.
-[cat yowls]
-[mysterious music plays]
No one lives there anymore,
except an evil, haunted scarecrow.
Oh man, not a scarecrow!
[kids laugh]
All right, laugh it up. I did too.
I was once a kid just like you all.
I went to the same
middle school you go to,
and we took our end-of-year trip
right here, just like you guys.
Oh, so that means this camp is super old.
-[kids laugh]
-Oh...
-Be nice.
-[laughs]
So, we had a special camp tradition.
[dramatic sting]
[mysterious music continues]
Under cover of darkness,
we'd trek out alone
to the abandoned house.
The goal was
to get to the scarecrow first.
To prove that you made it,
you'd drape your class sweater
on the scarecrow,
and collect the sweater
that was left there the year before.
Getting that sweater meant that you were
a bona fide school legend. A true hero.
-[boy] I like the sound of that.
-He just blew our mission.
But, like, why's this all news to me?
You don't know the story because...
because it's been years since kids
have gone up to that abandoned house.
And for good reason.
The last kid that went there
left his sweater,
and faced the most awful, bloody demise.
Some say that he was devoured
by a hideous monster
with glowing horns and red eyes.
Others swear that the old scarecrow
came to life and killed him.
Still others say it was the woods
that stole the boy from us.
We'll never know.
Poor Panchito.
-[chuckles]
-Panchito?
-Come on...
-[kids laugh]
We're not dumb little kids,
we're 12 years old.
Well, I may be 50 years old,
but I'm still getting goosebumps.
You should take this as a challenge.
If anyone is brave enough,
make your way to that old house.
It's somewhere in the woods.
Locate the scarecrow,
give him your class sweater,
and bring back... Panchito's.
However, if you try this,
keep your wits about you.
Great, Diego, thanks for nothing.
-Now everyone knows about it.
-[sighs]
-[dog barking]
-[music fades]
-[exhales]
-[birds chirping]
-[cow mooing]
-[rooster crowing]
[groans]
[grunts]
[Patri] So, the first day
had its share of ups and downs.
That's to be expected.
It's a weird situation.
And maybe I was a little over the top.
But I had to do something, right?
I've got my work cut out for me,
but I have a plan.
I'm gonna show Rami
I'm the coolest mom in the whole world.
Which I am.
Rami's gonna see
a whole new side of me today.
Are you there, Carla?
Babe, I'm swamped here.
That one goes on last.
Ramn, honey,
if a box says "fragile" on it,
that's because it is fragile, okay?
When does the impound lot open?
From 7:00 until 2:00. Carla, are you okay?
What's going on? You sound stressed out.
Patricia, I'm handling everything.
Now, hang up and leave me alone, my dear.
Okay. Keep an eye on the guys' mat.
They can overdo it.
And make sure
they carry proof of insurance.
Hard copies, no photos.
If not, they'll get us all kinds of fines.
Can you please let me do it my way, huh?
Patricia, my dear, darling,
please just let me work.
Yeah, but my way works,
so why should you reinvent the wheel?
Hello? Hello?
[kids chanting] Red!
-[team 1 chanting] Red!
-[team 2 chanting] Blue!
-[blows whistle]
-[chanting fades]
That's enough, settle down.
For the following game,
we're gonna be joined by the mommies!
-[mothers cheering and laughing]
-[kids chuckle]
[Giselle] Yay!
I'm gonna pick you to be the Red captain,
so you'll get first dibs. Who'd you like?
[Giselle] Oh! Pick me! Pick me!
You can pick whoever you want to,
it's up to you.
-[girl] It's gotta be her mom...
-Mmm, I want Patri.
-[Diego] Sorry?
-Patri.
-[girl] Weird.
-[gasps] Yes!
[Diego] Patri's on the red team!
-Giselle's on the Blue team!
-Thanks, girl! Thank you!
-[kids chuckling]
-[Patri] Hey!
-[kids] Yeah! Blue team forever!
-High-five!
[Martina] No, high-ten! Whoo! Yeah!
-[upbeat music plays]
-[Patri laughs] Whoo!
[kids] Hurry! Ari!
-[Rami] Come on, Ariana, faster, come on!
-Hurry! Step it up!
[kids] Let's go, Rami! Let's go!
Rami! Rami, you got this!
-You're in my way!
-Come on, Rami, come through!
-Mom, you've gotta move over!
-You lose.
-Mom, you gotta move!
-To where?
Anywhere! Get outta my way!
-Slip by me!
-Mom, just run!
-[boy] Yeah, you made it!
-Can't you just run over here, Rami?
No, Mom. [groans]
-No.
-[boy] You killed it!
[kids chanting] Hey, hey, hey!
-[boy] Yeah!
-[kids chanting] Blue!
[chanting continues]
I think I should go in front, yeah?
Okay, the Blue team is strong,
but I know we can win this.
Strength's important,
but this is a game of strategy.
Will you guys trust me?
-[kids] Yes.
-[mouths] No.
-Now, tell me who will win this.
-[kids] The Reds!
-Come on, I can't hear you!
-The Reds!
Make some noise, let's go!
-The Reds!
-Make some noise, let's go, Reds!
[chanting] Reds!
-[chanting continues]
-[upbeat music playing]
[all] Yeah!
[Diego] The game begins
in three, two, one!
-[blows whistle]
-Come on, kids!
-Hold it like you mean it!
-Pull hard, guys! You've got this!
[Giselle] That's right! Nice and strong!
-[Diego] Keep it up, Red team!
-[straining] Pull, pull it tight!
-Hold on!
-That's it! Come on, pull it!
-The Reds are in the lead.
-Pull, guys!
Show me what you've got, guys! Harder!
-We've got this, go!
-Hey, come on, guys! Be strong!
-Don't let the Reds win!
-Now!
-Go, Blues!
-Luz!
Go ahead, Luz! Hey, get up here!
-[child 1] Yeah, go, Luz!
-[child 2] Come on, Luz!
[kids chanting] Luz! Luz! Luz!
[chanting continues]
[kids chanting and shouting encouragement]
[music softens, grows melancholy]
[kids] Luz, you got this! Hold on!
[screams, grunts]
-We did it!
-[Diego] A-ha!
-And the victory goes to the Red team!
-We won!
-Whoo!
-[Diego] Good game!
-Luz, you rule!
-[Diego laughing]
-[kids chanting] Luz! Luz! Luz!
-[Diego laughing]
-You're covered in mud.
-Giselle, are you okay?
-[screams, laughs]
-[pleasant music playing]
[laughing]
-[kids chanting] Luz! Luz! Luz!
-[Diego chuckling]
Come on!
[Patri and Diego laughing]
That was a genius move.
How'd you know Giselle would let Luz win?
[chuckles] Because I'd have done
the same for Rami.
[kids] Mud fight!
-[Diego] Everybody grab some mud!
-[Patri] Time to get messy!
-[pleasant music continues]
-[kids laughing]
[kids talking excitedly]
Look out! Think fast!
[all screaming and laughing]
-[boy] I got you!
-[kids laugh]
-[music fades]
-[Patri whistling melody]
[footsteps approaching]
-Oh, God! What, is something wrong?
-Bet you're feeling smug.
I'm sorry?
I know we haven't known each other long,
but I'm a very blunt person.
-[Patri] Hmm?
-So I gotta ask.
Why're you getting in my way?
Uh, no, but...
[chuckles] First off,
Luz chose me to join her team...
Oh, come off it, I meant Diego.
-Huh?
-[mockingly] Huh?
Be real, Patricia.
We all talk about sisterhood
and all that crap,
but we all know life's a competition.
And I had that puppy in the bag,
until you climbed up
on that bus and interfered.
Now I'm back to square one.
-I didn't come here to seduce anyone.
-Cut the crap!
I've been into him for a long time,
since the kids were three.
So, get in line, sweetie.
Go do your man-hunting elsewhere.
This one's mine,
so just stay in your lane.
You watch your back.
I've got my eyes on you.
-This technique is very ancient.
-[kid] Mine's getting charred.
[Miguel] Ah, son of a marshmallow.
What's that about an ancient technique?
Is that part of it?
[kids laughing]
Are you having fun?
[Rami] Mm.
[kid] It's so gooey!
Bud, I'm sorry I'm still here.
The drivers will be here soon, though.
It's fine, Mom, don't worry.
[child 1] Mine fell!
[child 2 chuckles]
[Patri] Don't you wanna shower?
I think most of your friends
have already showered off.
I will when I'm ready.
-Is anybody else allergic to water here?
-[kids laugh]
Yeah, go on, Rami, take a shower.
-Yeah, you're stinky!
-[kids laugh]
[chuckles]
[Patri] Rami.
Rami.
I'm so sorry.
-Rami, I'm so...
-Who cares?
Forgive me.
Please, I'm sorry. I know I messed up.
-You made everyone laugh at me.
-I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry, I'm so...
I'm impulsive, I just blurt things out.
But how else am I supposed
to get you to take a shower, Rami, really?
I daydream about coming home
from work one day
and seeing that you showered
without me asking.
Because that would
really make me feel good.
I don't give a crap how you'd feel.
I screwed it up.
Like, big time. I'm such an idiot.
[Arturo] Don't be so hard on yourself.
Put it all into perspective, okay?
Trust me, I am.
I'm not sure we can come back from this.
Things were good!
He was laughing and having fun.
But it's part of growing up.
For both of you guys.
It's like making a pizza.
-You have to let the dough rise.
-Hmm?
But you'll need patience.
You can't rush it.
I blew up the dough.
I mean, I just... [imitates explosion]
And now I'm feeling
like all hope is lost, guys.
I know you feel bad,
but you've gotta shift your focus.
Maybe we can find a new game plan.
-You wanna connect with your son, right?
-Yes.
[Arturo] Trying to be the cool mom.
-Someone he can trust?
-Yeah.
-How old is Rami, again?
-[Patri] He's 12.
Ah, hey, 12 is hard!
He's a preteen. They all wanna rebel.
Oh, yeah. Twelve-year-olds wanna assert
some independence.
Find out what gets him going.
It's like in The Art of War.
It's Sun Tzu, you know?
Sun Tzu?
He said a common enemy
will bring different parties together.
So you should think hard.
Who does your son hate?
Uh, me, of course.
Broaden your horizons.
I'm sure you're not
the only person he hates.
Think on it.
And keep your chin up. It's not too late.
We bought you something
to lift your spirits.
Here. Our way of saying thanks.
[Patri] For me?
-[Arturo] This place is incredible.
-[Genaro] Your own minibar.
-Oh man, I love it.
-You've gotta stay positive, huh?
It's the truth.
[Martn] Rocks, trees,
anything you come across out there.
I wanna see it all graffitied. You got it?
It's gotta be hard to ignore.
Something no one's gonna forget.
-Yo, we're all gonna be legends!
-Yeah!
[both] Legends, yeah!
[all chanting] Legends, yeah!
-What's going on in here?
-Legend...
Nothing, just hangin'.
What're you doing with all that paint?
-Are you going to make some trouble?
-No, of course not.
Nope, we're good kids, don't worry.
[Arturo] You wanna connect with your son,
right?
[Genaro] Give it some thought.
Who does your son hate?
You know, I'm in the mood
to do a little mischief myself.
-Give me all the cans, now.
-No way...
-[kids] No...
-Cans, now.
Hey, wait. What're you holding?
That's none of your business.
I'm the adult here.
Martn, I mean it, give me the paint.
And, girls, come on, you can't be here.
Come on now. Come on.
Martn. Please.
-[girl] This sucks.
-[Patri] Move it.
We had an epic last day planned,
but that psycho screwed us.
For real. Rami's mom is the worst.
Yeah, but, like,
we have other options, right?
Remember Diego's story? What about that?
-The one about the scarecrow and stuff?
-[Sofa] Exactly.
Let's find the old house
and swap the sweaters.
We should, right?
-It'll be badass.
-[boy] No, we totally should!
-That's perfect, for real.
-[girl] Okay.
You guys, we've got a big problem.
[boy] Let's do it!
Martn and those guys
wanna get the sweater. I'm really scared.
Hello?
We can't let them get there first.
Come on, guys, we should go, now.
For real. Or it's over.
[Miguel] Good morning, campers!
Could you put down your forks
for a moment?
I've got a special game
in store for you today.
Whoever gathers the most firewood
will be allowed to stay up all night long.
-[kids cheering]
-[boy] Wait, really?
No, no, no, no. Hey, hey.
No. That won't fly with me.
No, it can't be all night.
-[kids groaning]
-Why do you gotta crush their dreams?
Okay, fine, we can compromise.
How's 1:00 a.m. sound? Is that chill?
You can stay up til 1:00.
-Okay.
-[kids booing]
-[kid] That's nothing.
-[Rami] We should head out.
-Come on.
-[Bauti] Let's go.
Gimme a sec to figure this out.
There's been a mistake with the paychecks.
Something happened
with the direct deposit software.
I'm missing most of my pay.
Can you fix it?
-It's in Raymond's account. I'm on it.
-Do I need to pay you back?
Only what belongs to Rubn.
Pay attention, please, Raymond.
Look, guys, Patricia is calling.
I'll talk to her
and figure it all out, okay?
-[man] My God.
-Hello.
[Patri] You were right.
That's nice to hear,
given the type of day I'm having.
-So, what's up?
-You've always told me I'm not cool.
Yeah, I know, that's obvious.
Did something happen?
Is Rami okay?
Of course, he just hates me.
And rightfully so.
But I'm gonna switch up my strategy,
because clearly I can't be cool.
My new thing is The Art of War.
[man] Wrap it up, Carla.
We need your help.
-Get a move on, girl. Stop stalling.
-The art of what?
Hey, what's going on there?
Why are they screaming?
No, no, there's no screaming.
-Must just be the TV.
-Figure this out!
-Completely unacceptable.
-I'm in charge here right now.
Please just let me get back to work.
Just focus on the camping stuff, okay?
I've got everything under control.
-God...
-[man] Jesus...
[Carla] Okay,
I need Jorge's account information.
Who is Jorge?
-[Luz] Excuse me. Uh...
-[gasps]
-Patri.
-You startled me.
My bad, sorry.
-Um, if you're searching for Rami, he...
-No, no, no.
No, I'm not.
I'm just looking for firewood, see?
Oh, for sure. My bad. [quietly] Dang it.
Hey, hey! Wanna work together? Team up?
You want to?
-Hmm? Yeah.
-I'm glad you're here. [grunts]
Because I'm running out of arms.
Okay. Ooh, this is a good one.
Ooh, look!
[Bauti] Hey. Was the story about Panchito
disappearing true? Did a kid die?
No, of course not. Diego made all that up.
Come on, they would've closed down
the camp if somebody died.
[Rami] He sounded convincing.
-I kind of believed him.
-Get real, you guys.
-A monster ate a kid? No way.
-Could've been the scarecrow.
[Luz] Right now, I'm into Little Women.
The oldest is Meg,
and she's, like, really old-fashioned,
like, even for her era.
She wants babies, and to get married,
you know? She's a normie.
Then, there's the third youngest.
She's more creative.
She's bedridden the whole time.
Then, there's the youngest girl,
she's just the worst.
I mean it, she's insufferable.
And that leaves Jo.
Jo is the most free-spirited of the bunch.
She has big dreams
and wants to leave a mark on the world.
I identify with her.
I'm a lot like Jo March.
Yep. Wait, have you read it?
-Uh, well, I did see the movie.
-The original or the remake?
Um, uh... No clue.
Know what? I recommend getting a tablet.
If you like books,
it's the best way to read.
I got mine two weeks ago, no, three weeks...
And my "words per minute" has flown up,
like, doubled, tripled,
quadrupled, quintupled...
[Luz panting]
Forgive me,
when I get excited about stuff,
my brain goes too fast
and sometimes I forget to breathe.
[chuckles] Don't worry.
And here I thought you were quiet...
No, I'm hyper-verbal.
When I get started, I just keep rambling.
And it's like I have
to make up for all the quietness.
And then, I can't stop myself.
But I'm only like this
if I feel super safe.
If I ramble, it means I trust you.
I'm at home in the woods. You?
I'm definitely not. I've got bug-phobia.
What? What's bug-phobia?
Bugs give me the creeps.
What about them?
No clue.
-But why do...
-Howdy-ho, campers!
[Patri chuckles]
Sorry. Well, am I that scary looking?
-[Bauti] Oh, man.
-Are you stalking me?
No, of course not.
I happened to see Martn and his crew
collecting big bundles of firewood.
And we couldn't let
those kids beat you, right?
Aw, that's really sweet. Thanks.
No matter where I go,
you're always there,
breathing down my neck.
It's too much.
Can't I just have one thing for myself,
one single thing?
-I'm trying to help you beat Martn.
-Stop.
[Patri] He is your nemesis, right?
-[Ari] Rami.
-[Bauti] Ramiro.
I think he needs space.
What?
You're overbearing, even more than my mom.
[man grunts]
[Patri] Hey, fellas!
[Arturo] Hey! What's up, Patri?
[Patri] Reverse psychology.
I'm an idiot, but it's so obvious.
I'll leave him alone,
and soon, he'll come running back to me.
I'll ignore him.
I mean, mind games,
that's a really,
really dark road to go down.
I don't think that's what Luz meant.
Like, it's one thing to, uh,
give him some space, let him do his thing,
but, um, ignoring him is,
um, a bit more intense.
Miss Luz is a pretty bright girl.
Very clever.
Yeah, give him space.
Let Rami find his own voice, hmm?
Or ignore him.
[claps] All right.
How you feeling, campers?
How we doing?
-[kids] I'm good!
-Okay, great, glad to hear it.
What've you learned these past days?
For my part,
I think I remembered things I once knew,
but I'd forgotten over the years, like,
for one, to live in the moment.
Another classic lesson
is that in both love and war,
anything goes.
Now, maybe some day,
you'll learn for yourselves
if that holds true for love.
But now, it's the moment
you've all been waiting for,
the water bomb war!
[kids cheer]
-Can the moms join in this game, too?
-[Diego] Yeah, go for it, Moms! Come play!
-[kid 1] Oh yeah!
-[kid 2] I want a blue one!
[Diego] Okay.
[pensive music playing]
-[pleasant music plays]
-[gasps, chuckles]
[all laughing and shouting excitedly]
[Diego] Run for cover! Whoo!
[all laughing]
-[kid] Go, go!
-[Luz] Ah!
[all laughing]
[kid] Go get Diego!
-[Diego laughs] Whoo!
-[kid] You asked for it.
[kids shouting and laughing]
[music continues]
[kid] Oh, hey, I give up, I surrender!
[music ends]
Man, too bad I got the last one.
Are there any more pastries?
Oops, we must've already run out.
[gasps]
Wish I knew about 'em before.
Sorry, cowboy,
it's first come, first serve.
-Ah, you swept the floor with me.
-Stay strong!
[Diego] Yeah, yeah, I know.
I know. All right, campers!
Why don't you all go shower?
And then you can chill until it's time
for us to regroup at the lake.
[kid] Okay, let's go.
-I'm not showering.
-I don't care, do whatever you want.
-Wanna rematch?
-[Diego] Bring it.
[snoring]
[chuckles]
The war must've killed him.
It did get brutal.
Looked like you had a blast out there.
-Yeah. [chuckles]
-You've got a great arm!
[Diego] It's true. What can I say,
I love my job. I get paid to play games.
-[Patri] Did you always wanna teach?
-[Diego] Since I was a kid.
My parents were teachers.
You're like me.
We both followed footsteps.
I see. But I like what I do.
Sorry? [chuckles]
You don't know my life.
I like my job just fine.
Ah, that's all well and good,
but I'm passionate about mine.
It isn't a competition.
Well, sorry,
I didn't mean to make you feel...
No, I was just kidding.
I mean, look, I like what I do,
it just isn't my passion.
-I'm fine with that. It's how it goes.
-That's fair.
But you need something.
You need some kind of passion.
It doesn't have to be work.
-It could be anything, like trail running...
-Hmm.
Or going bowling, gobbling up tiramisu.
-I'm into tiramisu. [chuckles]
-Same here.
Well, there's something...
[gentle music plays]
I've always loved singing.
-Music makes me feel in my element.
-You see? I knew it.
Yeah, but I'm shy about it.
-Oh?
-I rock out.
-[chuckles]
-In the shower.
I need the privacy.
I'd be way too embarrassed on a stage.
But when I'm alone,
I grab my guitar and let it rip.
Pretty sick.
Is that difficult?
Playing guitar in the shower, I mean?
[both laugh]
-Okay, I sing on my couch sometimes too.
-Right, right.
Hey!
Did you forget what I said?
-Are you okay?
-Never better.
I found those little bottles
in your drawer.
You might have a drinking problem.
-Oh, Giselle...
-Let's get you to bed.
-Let me go! And tell me why you're here!
-Come on, I'll walk you back.
-Put your foot there.
-What were you doing?
Why were you with him?
You promised me...
I needed some of that liquid courage
to tell Diego how I feel.
[Patri sighs]
But I don't know what I feel for him.
I just don't know.
Because he's so good with Luz, but...
Plus, he seems into you.
The way he looks at you... You can have him.
Go make a move. I don't even care, girl.
[sighs]
It's been a long time
since somebody's loved me.
[sobs softly]
[sniffles]
[breathes deeply]
I always wanted to be a mom,
more than anything.
[gentle, melancholy music playing]
And I tried for a long time,
but I couldn't get pregnant.
I could feel that damn biological clock
go tick, tick, ticking away.
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
It was so hard,
but I never gave up my dream.
And then my Luz was born.
And I felt like
all of my dreams had come true.
I had this perfect marriage,
this perfect daughter.
Then my husband left.
And that dream fell to pieces.
And my daughter, well...
Luz is perfect.
She is?
Yes.
[music becomes hopeful]
She's amazing.
Smart in every way.
She's curious about everything, you know.
You've got an awesome kid.
Motherhood's tough.
I know I put so much pressure on Rami.
But he's already completely perfect.
We've gotta remember
that we can't control them.
We don't need to pass down our baggage,
our trauma,
all that crap we got from our parents.
They don't deserve it.
And if you feel
that nagging little critic in your brain,
tell him to take a hike.
[snoring softly]
[strumming chord]
And?
She's in dreamland.
Oh, I'm jealous. Must be nice.
Oh, man.
[Rami] This can't be happening.
They're gonna beat us to it.
-We've gotta hurry.
-No.
Gimme your backpack.
What? Why?
-[Bauti] I got an idea.
-What is it?
Martn can't beat us. I won't let him win.
[mischievous music plays]
-I don't get it.
-Huh?
-No, Bautista.
-No. Bautista, no.
-Please, trust me. It's the only way.
-[Ari] It's not worth it.
Oh, man...
-No, no...
-[Ari] This is crazy.
-Bautista!
-[Rami] Wait up! No!
-Are you sure it's this way?
-Yeah, it's over here.
Sure, if you insist.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Rami] Come on, hurry, hurry!
-[Ari] He's coming!
-[Rami] Panchito's back there!
-It's Panchito!
-Let's go! Hurry!
-Run, you guys! He's gaining on us.
-He's coming!
Panchito?
[screams]
-[screams]
-Holy shit-balls!
[boy] Let's get outta here!
[screams]
-Come on, run!
-Run!
-[kid 1] Faster, guys! Hurry!
-[kid 2] Let's go, let's go!
[panting]
That was so cool!
-I can't believe the plan worked!
-Yes!
[Bauti breathes heavily]
Oh, Bauti... Are you okay?
-We've gotta get help.
-Yeah.
-We'll get Diego.
-No, Rami. Don't be stupid.
I'm fine. You can't give up now.
Don't worry about me.
-But your head's a balloon...
-Go on, hurry!
[pants]
[Bauti panting]
[Bauti wheezing]
[Bauti] Can you help?
[exhales]
[mysterious music plays]
[rats squeaking]
[bird's wings flapping]
[music becomes ominous]
-[object shatters]
-[screams] What the... Man...
-I thought you were Panchito.
-Sorry, my bad.
Why are you here?
Same reason you came here.
I'm after the scarecrow, from the legend.
I see.
But I'm dead-set on claiming that sweater.
Fine. I don't care, you can have it.
What?
My whole thing is...
I don't need some old sweater.
Just... I wanna leave mine behind,
for the next campers.
Um, I don't want to tell anyone I did it.
I just really wanna be part of the legend.
Weird, huh?
No.
Makes sense to me. It's awesome.
Teammates?
[chuckles]
For sure.
[Ari] You scared me. Just a bit.
-How's it look?
-A lot better.
You were awesome back there.
[gentle music plays]
See? I was right
about that "brush with death" thing.
-[both chuckle]
-You're crazy.
[gentle music continues]
Does it say Diego?
[gasps] That little prankster!
[chuckles softly]
[music fades]
[Diego chuckles] So?
She's safe in bed.
-She had a rough time.
-Yeah.
What's that for?
-Thought I'd give it a go.
-Oh?
Because this is my debut concert.
Not counting the shower, or on my couch.
And I chose this spot
because nature and I are one, you know?
[chuckles]
And I've heard the crowd
is pretty damn handsome, hmm?
Ah, I'm feeling kind of shy.
Stop, you'll do great.
Huh?
[both chuckle]
Don't go crazy now.
Okay.
Be easy on me, okay? [chuckles]
Okay.
I wrote this song about Rami,
but, uh, I never planned to share it.
Well, here goes nothing.
[whistling and strumming pleasant melody]
[in Spanish] Once again
I want to be with you
Like when both of us would laugh
About nothing
Just about anything
There were no secrets to conceal
As a team, we were remarkable
Everyone looked at us
Everyone admired us
You and I can be extraordinary
Let's do something legendary
We could be heroes
You and I, together
If it's not with you
I don't want anything
I'm trying to be more easy-going
I know there's love
But there's no point
If you make it impossible for me
Treasure my love
Oh-oh, oh-oh
Treasure my love
Oh-oh, oh-oh
Treasure my love
Oh-oh, oh-oh
Oh, don't make it impossible for me
[whistling melody]
[in English] Hey, wait a minute.
Am I insane,
or is that Rami and Four Eyes?
[Martn] No way, it can't be.
How'd they get there first?
[Martn sighs]
I can't believe it.
[in Spanish] I know I'm intense
Forgive me
[chuckles]
But I want you to be happy
Even though I mess it up
More often than I'd like
What happened?
Baby, you grew super-fast
And I have to let you go, it's true
But I'm finding it hard
To see when you go
[song ends]
[chuckles]
[in English] Well, there ya go.
Bravo. Well done.
What's this?
It's just your old sweater.
-Hey, hey, hey! It looks good on you.
-Wow!
Marvelous job, kid.
A round of applause for Rami,
who took on the scarecrow!
[kids cheer]
-Heck yes, Rami!
-[kids] Rami! Rami!
How'd your adventure go?
-Hard, but worth it.
-[Patri] You're awesome!
You too. Because you finally sang
outside the shower.
[kid] He was terrifying.
-You heard me?
-Is it for me?
How was it?
Beautiful, Mom.
[sighs]
-You're a legend! [chuckles]
-I knew you'd do it.
And the best part? It was Diego's!
[Ari] It's so big on you!
And Panchito?
Panchito isn't real. You called it, Ari.
-[chuckles] Told ya.
-[Bauti] Congrats, buddy.
[Ari] We're officially legendary.
-[Rami] Love you guys.
-[Ari] Back at ya.
[Martn] Psst. Luz.
Hey, you're kinda awesome.
For real, you are.
I know Rami's taking the credit,
but I saw you there, at the house.
Well, thank you.
You're so impressive.
Man, we should go and celebrate.
Maybe, by ourselves?
-Right now?
-Don't be scared. We'll come right back.
Sure.
[Miguel] Okay, campers,
I hope you're excited,
because we've come
to my favorite part of camp.
We're gonna read the letters
you wrote yourselves.
You'll each pick
a fellow camper's letter at random,
then read it out loud for us all to hear.
When we're done,
we'll fold us a fleet of planes,
and send them out on the breeze,
so that the Wind Gods can read them
and grant all of your wishes.
Do you wanna kick us off?
Okay, it's kinda short.
It just says "Luz."
"Luz?" Nothing else?
[Ari] Nope, that's it.
Well, now, perhaps she's trying
to make a statement, right?
Remember, we're talking about Luz.
She's way smarter than us.
[all chuckling]
Where is Luz? I don't see her.
I think she's in the bathroom.
[Miguel] You're up next. Here ya go.
"How are you, buddy?
I'm you a few months ago."
"My first wish for you is,
I hope that you find the sweater
and become a living legend."
-[kid] Rami.
-Is this you?
"Being a legend means you'll control
the direction your life is gonna go."
"Try explaining that to Mom."
-[kids chuckle]
-[Miguel] Oof.
Is it okay if I read the rest?
No, Rami, that's not how it works.
It's fine, Rami. I know you'll gimme heat.
To be honest, I deserve it.
"I hope you remember that nobody owns you,
not even your pathetic mom."
"She orders you around
'cause her life is empty."
"Don't be like her."
"She bosses people around to distract
herself from her own, miserable life."
Ire, that's enough.
"It got bad after the divorce,
and worse after Grandpa died."
"And now it feels like nothing I do
is good enough for her."
"If I don't take a shower,
or forget to put the lid on something,
she loses her mind."
[melancholy music plays]
[Patri] Can I see?
-Here.
-[Patri] I'll take it from here.
"My mom's a control freak,
and that's why my biggest wish
is to move in with Dad."
"Because I deserve to be happy for once."
"Rami."
Mom, I'm so sorry.
I wrote that thing a long time ago.
I was just blowing off steam. I'm sorry.
Please, no, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't see
that I hurt you so much.
You do deserve to be happy, sweetheart.
I love you.
My love...
I'm so sorry.
Mom. Mom, wait up.
Go on.
-Well, then, who's up next?
-Right.
Wait, Four Eyes? She's on a bridge?
You mean the rope one?
[chuckles] I told her
I'd make out with her on it.
Brought her there, had her close her eyes,
then left her there.
She's hanging onto those ropes
for dear life.
-She's still there? That's not okay.
-You idiot.
That bridge is falling apart.
-She could get really hurt.
-What is she, your girlfriend?
-You jerk!
-Rami...
You took things too far.
[door opens]
-Mom, I need help, now!
-What happened?
Martn left Luz hanging
on the rope bridge.
-Huh?
-He left her up there, all alone!
-Where's the bridge?
-I'll take us!
[Patri] Giselle!
-Giselle!
-[Rami] We don't have time!
-[door closes]
-Huh? Stranded on...
Luz? Huh?
I'm sorry.
I wish I never wrote that letter.
Why didn't you just tell me
how you were feeling?
I was scared, I guess.
-Can we focus on Luz now?
-I felt the same way.
I read what you messaged Dad.
I was scared to bring it up.
-Huh? So that's a lot worse.
-Yeah, so? And there's more.
I came on this trip
because I was desperate.
Because I was terrified
I was about to lose you for good.
I booked the other drivers
a room at a spa,
so I could stay here at camp longer.
But I wouldn't have put in all that effort
if I'd known how much you hate me.
All that time and money...
Come on! Keep up!
-That's why I wish...
-[Giselle] Luz!
...we stay friends in high school.
-Luz!
-She's not here, sorry!
Where has my Luz gone?
Where is my daughter?
[Diego] Relax, Giselle,
I think she's in the bathroom.
Don't worry, everything's okay.
Don't worry.
Look, there she is!
-[bird shrieking]
-Luz!
[suspenseful Western music plays]
[panting]
Luz, we're coming!
Luz!
Luz, you're okay.
Walk towards us.
-Come here!
-Don't yell at her, Mom.
-But she's not moving!
-'Cause she's paralyzed.
I'll have to go to her.
I'll go.
You wait there.
-Ah!
-Shit, the bridge is gonna break!
You need to walk to us.
-Let me get her, I'm lighter.
-No.
Luz.
No, no! Ramiro!
I need you to trust me, Mom!
It's okay. I'm coming.
[suspenseful music continues]
[shudders]
It's all right.
I'm almost there. [chuckles]
-[Patri and Luz scream]
-Ramiro!
[Rami] I'm fine! Don't worry!
[breathing heavily]
[gasps]
Hold onto the bridge. Just hang on.
[screams]
Luz!
Mom, we need help!
-Luz!
-Grab onto the rope with me, please.
It won't hold much longer.
Oh, my freaking God.
Can't you help us, Miguel?
[Giselle] Just hold on, baby!
-Try to stay still!
-[Luz] I'm so scared!
-[Luz screams]
-[Rami] We're okay!
[Giselle] Hang on, honey!
[Giselle whimpering]
-Please...
-Hey, guys!
Grab onto the bottom, okay? Tightly!
Throw all your weight that way.
I'll give the signal, then cut the rope.
You can't do that! No, no, stop!
Have you lost your mind?
They're gonna fall! Stop!
No, no, they're gonna fall!
Please don't do it.
[Rami] Luz. Luz. Hey.
-[Giselle] Don't move, sweetie!
-Look at me. We'll be fine.
Get down on the floor and hold on.
[breathes deeply]
Hold on like you mean it!
-[Giselle] Sweetheart! Don't let go!
-[Miguel whimpers]
[screams]
[Miguel grunts]
[Miguel whimpers]
-Let go!
-[kids screaming]
-[music fades]
-[kids coughing]
-You good?
-I'm okay.
[Giselle] Luz!
Ramiro!
Luz!
[gasps] Are you okay?
-Oh my God. Are you all right?
-Oh!
Oh, you're okay.
Oh my God.
You're okay? Yes?
-Yes?
-Mm-hmm.
[sighs] You bastard!
You almost killed them both.
They're okay. It's all okay.
I knew they'd be fine.
It's like I said, nature and I are one.
And physics too, I guess.
[gentle piano music playing]
You see? I saved her my way.
Yes.
Yeah!
[Rami sobbing softly]
[kissing]
-Who caused this?
-Martn.
Oh! I'm gonna kill that little dumbass!
-My glasses...
-What'd you say?
Hey, where are your glasses?
[music fades]
[man on TV] Are you afraid?
[inhales shuddering breath]
Katherine...
Man, I love her. She's so expressive.
[gentle music playing]
[man] You're always with me.
[whispering] Hey! Hey!
My soul would be empty without you.
I'll always be there.
Yeah?
Huh. How'd it go with Ramiro?
[chuckles softly]
[pleasant music plays]
-[Patri] Hello.
-Why are you here? What's going on?
Weren't you on the bus?
Yeah, I missed home,
my bed and my houseplants.
Mostly, I missed my shower.
And Rami needs time away from Mom.
I drove back here yesterday.
-So, you just missed the last night?
-Mm-hmm.
I tried to call you a ton.
Why'd you never pick up?
I just wanted to soak up
every moment there.
I can't believe
you'd begrudge me time with my baby.
-Oh, Patri, come on...
-I'm screwing with you.
I learned a few lessons out there.
Okay, um...
I guess now's the time to hash it all out.
I could take him on weekends, or...
Well, I'm going dancing Friday, so, like...
Let's play it by ear. What do ya say?
Sure.
-Who are you?
-[chuckles]
Where's the old Patri?
What did you do with her?
[chuckles softly]
[bus horn honking]
Look who's here.
-[horn honking]
-[pleasant music continues]
Hey! How ya doin'?
[people chattering excitedly]
Hello, Miss. Long time no see.
-How are you?
-Pretty great.
-Hmm.
-How was the trip back?
-Did you miss my driving?
-Mm, you know...
-Yeah.
-[chuckles]
[chuckles] Well, I'd better
go help the kids unload the bus.
I'll see you soon?
When's soon?
What do you mean?
Oh, you know, it doesn't matter.
But, like, did you mean at school,
or somewhere more...
Wherever you want.
[chuckles]
[kisses] Ciao.
[indistinct conversations]
Hey there, Ma.
[gentle piano music plays]
Rami, my love.
[kisses]
What about a smooch for your old man?
-Hey, Dad.
-How was braving the wilderness?
-Good.
-Oh yeah?
Shall we?
Somehow, I even survived
Mom and her insanity.
[both laugh]
Man, it was so cool.
We did so many things.
-You'd love it.
-I bet!
We found this giant tarantula,
and it was the size
of my hands put together.
-Are you pulling my leg?
-No, it was enormous, I swear.
And when my friends and I found it,
we almost all passed out.
-I would have, for sure.
-Yeah, it was awful.
And then what?
-Oh, the bridge thing.
-Ooh!
The bridge was epic, Dad.
-What happened there?
-Well, it collapsed.
[Patri] You've got one brave son.
-[Walter] Oh, yeah? Tell me all about it.
-[Patri] Yep.
[chuckles] It's gonna be on Thursdays,
from 4:00 to 6:00.
But I might need to clock out early,
around 3:00, because there'll be traffic.
I've got you, don't worry.
But you'd better promote me again,
Patri, dear.
-Bye, Carla. I'm leaving.
-Bye, Rubn.
Now that you're taking voice lessons,
does this mean you'll get famous
and leave me in charge?
I'm ready, you know.
It's just a hobby.
You did say I needed one, right?
Well, I took your advice.
Okay. Well, I'm happy for you.
Now, we've just gotta
get you on a real vacation. [chuckles]
-And Rami's good?
-Yeah, he's great.
And you?
[shower running]
[man whistling Patri's song]
Can I call you back?
[whistling continues]
[gentle music plays]
[chuckles softly]
[chuckles]
[gentle piano music plays]
[playing Patri's song]
[whistling melody]
[in Spanish] Once again
I want to be with you
Like when both of us
Would laugh about nothing
Just about anything
There were no secrets to conceal
As a team, we were remarkable
Everyone looked at us
Everyone admired us
You and I can be extraordinary
Let's do something legendary
We could be heroes
You and I, together
If it's not with you
I don't want anything
I'm trying to be more easy-going
I know there's love
But there's no point
If you make it impossible for me
Treasure my love
Treasure my love
Treasure my love
Don't make it impossible for me
[whistling melody]
I know I'm intense, forgive me
But I want you to be happy
Even though I mess it up
More often than I'd like
What happened?
Baby, you grew super-fast
And I have to let you go, it's true
But I'm finding it hard
To see when you go
If it's not with you
I don't want anything
I'm trying to be more easy-going
I know there's love
But there's no point
If you make it impossible for me
Treasure my love
Treasure my love
Treasure my love
Don't make it impossible for me
[whistling melody]
[song ends]