Carl's Date (2023) Movie Script

Now, don't eat it until I say "Go."
All right.
- One.
DUG: So good.
- Try again.
- DUG: Yes.
Wait until "Go"...
DUG: Mmm!
It's official. You really don't teach
old dogs new tricks.
- DUG: I am old?
I have no idea.
Fredricksen residence.
Oh, hello, Miss Meyer!
The senior center is gonna adopt
all of Muntz's dogs?
(CHUCKLES) Thank you so much!
DUG: Dawgs.
You adopted one, too?
And your dog wants to talk to my dog?
Uh, hang on.
Come here, Dug.
ALPHA: Hello. Hello?
Dug, are you there? Come in, Dug.
DUG: Alpha?
This is Beta. You are Alpha!
Do you not remember this
which I am telling you now?
- DUG: Oh, that is right. I am Alpha.
DUG: Do you like living in a house now?
ALPHA: Oh, yes!
I love my Toys-for-dogs!
- ALPHA: This one is a little cow!
There is much fun
to be had and... Squirrel!
DUG: (BARKS) Squirrel? Squirrel!
Where is the Squirrel?
- ALPHA: Bye, Dug!
They do keep you on your toes.
What's that?
Uh-huh. Sure.
Well, thanks again.
Bye now!
Oh, no, no, no, no. This is not good.
DUG: What? What is not good?
This is very, very bad.
DUG: What? What is it?
Very bad.
DUG: I feel so bad for you! (HOWLS)
It's... It's Miss Meyer.
Miss Meyer was mean
to my Poppa. (HOWLING)
- From the phone call?
- DUG: She was mean on the phone.
- She likes me.
- DUG: And she likes you? Huh?
And wants to go out on a date.
With me!
And I said okay.
Can you believe it?
DUG: I do not know these words.
How could I do such a thing? (GASPS)
I'm sorry, Ellie.
DUG: Poppa, what is a date?
Well, we go out.
You know, hold hands, pitch woo.
Like, playing at the dog park with Fifi.
DUG: Oh!
I don't know how to date.
DUG: Since you are my Poppa,
may I call her my momma?
Please refrain.
Do I shake her hand when I see her?
What do I do?
DUG: Just smell her backward side.
DUG: Smell her backward side.
Then she will do the same.
It is how you say hello.
I'm a person, you know?
DUG: Oh, I am just a dawg.
All right, I'll think about it.
- DUG: No. That is fine.
- Dug!
DUG: Humans should be more like a dawg.
Well, what would a dog do?
DUG: I would bring her a toy.
She would wag her tail.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah, okay!
I gotta go to the store.
Ah, phooey.
Aw! Other way.
DUG: I think Poppa needs to go to the vet.
Poppa is back.
Uh, Poppa?
They're, uh, fun, right?
DUG: Uh...
I am a dawg.
Fun is digging in the dirt
and destroying your flowers.
(GASPS) Flowers!
There's so much to do.
DUG: This is not fun at all.
DUG: Oh! Too much smell!
What? It's a cologne.
DUG: It made my nose get dead.
One, two, three. Two, two, three.
One, two, three. Two, two, three.
- DUG: I have no idea what is happening.
- One, two, three.
Oh, yes. The economy is on the rise, yeah.
- Would you agree?
- DUG: And what do I say?
A new town swimming pool?
Great idea.
DUG: I like bugs.
Yes, it does look like
a cold front is coming in.
DUG: I chew on your shoes.
You are so witty. (LAUGHS)
DUG: I like to roll in poo.
DUG: Get out of here you intruder!
Dug! Dug, it's me!
Is it too much?
DUG: You do not look like you.
I know.
DUG: You do not smell like you.
DUG: Why are you not you?
This is crazy. I'm not going.
- DUG: No. I will not let you!
- Yes. I must.
Why do you care?
DUG: I do not want you to be sad!
Sit, Poppa!
You will act like a dawg, not a human.
You will bring her a toy
and when you see her,
you wag your tail,
and say,
"I have just met you and I love you!"
You are my Poppa, and I love you,
and she will love you.
Thanks, Dug.
This is it.
Think I got everything.
'Night, Dug.
DUG: Good night, Poppa.
I will go, too.
One more thing.
Hope you don't mind, Ellie.
I guess this is a new kind
of adventure for both of us.
I promise I'll be back by 10:00.
11:00, at the latest.
Dug is my chaperone.
He won't let me pitch any woo.
Just know...
You'll always be my girl.
DUG: Other way.