Cash Storm (2024) Movie Script
1
[Glass shattering]
You're killing me, Smalls.
Give me a sec.
A sec? Marge, you've
had, like, an hour.
Oh. Don't exaggerate.
The data just came in.
I want to be sure.
Sure? What is sure?
There is no sure
with Mother Nature.
It's just instincts.
But I sure can tell when you
are stalling and being very
unsure of yourself.
I'm, I'm not unsure of myself.
And stalling?
Really? So then what do
the calculations say?
That there's going
to be a funnel cloud.
And in what direction?
67 degrees northeast.
Right. So what are
we waiting for?
I want to be sure.
Sure of what?
Ah ha!
[Laughter]
Let's do it.
That's my Magpie.
Where are the keys?
Oh, but first I want to make
sure that we take some readings.
I've spent way too much time on
this to crash and burn on our
first experiment.
Well, you got to break
eggs to make an omelet.
Just don't forget to mention
me when you make your speech
winning Pulitzer Prize
for killing a twister.
It's Nobel Prize,
you nerdy granola.
Besides, you've got to learn
to walk before you can run.
Yeah, and we have to drive to
the funnel cloud before we run
any experiments at all.
Okay, then what are
you waiting for?
Let's do this.
Okay.
[Rock music]
Did you really have to
remove the wrappers?
Dye packs idiot.
I found three dye packs
hidden in the wrapped money.
Three!
Three? Damn.
Good call.
How many more bags are inside?
What are you doing here?
I thought I told you to stay
with the bank employees.
This is the last of it.
I don't need to go back inside.
But if you're loaded
down with bags.
How did you keep an eye
on the bank manager?
The what?
The bank manager!
He could trip the silent alarm.
[Bell ringing]
Oh, crap.
That is not a silent alarm.
You think?
It's actually quite loud.
Get in the car!
[Gunshots]
That's not a silent alarm.
That's what I said.
Just drive!
[Bell ringing]
[Gunshot]
Hey, watch the interior.
This is a rental.
So what. You got the
extra coverage.
What extra coverage?
You didn't sign for the
extra coverage
in case of damage.
What is wrong with you?
I never signed that crap.
They're just hitting
you up for more coin.
Besides, my car
insurance covers rentals.
Are you sure about that?
There you go again.
Sure. Yes, I'm sure.
Why do you doubt everything?
You know, you're never gonna
accomplish anything if you
don't believe in yourself.
You are a beautiful, brilliant
scientist and your lack of
self-confidence is
really clogging my chi.
I was just asking whether or
not you have a big insurance
deductible or not.
Most policies only cover damage
beyond the initial deductible.
My policy has a $500
deductible, and since we're
headed straight into a tornado,
I'm pretty darn sure that this
car is going to get beaten
to shit by flying debris.
So excuse me for worrying that
my lab partner is going to get
nailed with a $500 fee.
Shit.
Bobby, I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt
- your feelings.
- No look.
The funnel cloud, it's touching
down right where
you said it would.
Serendipity.
Oh. It's showtime.
Damn it!
What? Oh, what?
I have $1,000 deductible.
Of course.
[Pop music playing]
It's literally right there.
Gotta get a picture of it.
Oh my God, that's so amazing.
I think we're gonna be the
first to post, like, actual
news anchors on antenna TV.
Yeah, let's post together
on each other's counts.
Like a couple of news hosts.
We could simulcast, share
on each other's accounts.
We could stand back.
To back, like.
Like in a metascore that we
got each other's backs like a
metascore, right?
Like a couple of.
What are you doing?
You posted it!
I can't believe you! You bitch!
You narcissistic, selfish hag!
Hag? Have you seen
your eyebrows lately?
You skank!
No, no!
Let go of it!
- No!
- Get off!
Ha!
[Rock music playing]
Those idiots are headed
straight towards
the funnel cloud.
Maybe they're with the
fake news.
Gonna make up some fake
story about a tornado.
But it is a real tornado.
It's right there.
Well then.
Maybe they're just morons.
Sure as shit.
Don't try to be cool, Steve.
Keep filling.
That bag with the shotgun
blast in it is useless.
Well it saved me
from getting shot.
I don't see no cops in the
rearview, but I can hear them
on the radio.
Oh, God!
I've been shot!
I shouldn't have
taken all those bags.
And now I'm gonna bleed
out cause
I'm just trying to
be fricking helpful!
Damn it!
No good deed goes unpunished.
Shut up!
Calm down!
It's just buckshot.
It's no worse than
getting hit with a BB gun.
Let me see.
Taking our masks off now?
What are we taking
our masks off?
I just want to be sure before I
don't do anything like Charlie.
Don't throw me under the bus.
You didn't have the guts
to go into the bank at all.
Getaway driver, my ass.
We didn't need a getaway driver.
What we really needed was an
extra pair of hands to help
carry the money and undo the
dye packs, so I did have to go
and get shot!
And now I'm gonna die
because you!
You're not going to die!
Sorry, but my ear stings.
A lot.
You're gonna be fine.
I'll get you a Band-Aid when
we get to the safe house.
Right, Scully?
He's going to be fine when
we get to the safe house.
Wait. You said my name.
So?
Well, your orders were to never
use each other's names and to
keep our masks on at all times.
So. And you said my name.
So what does it matter?
If it's okay to say our names?
Is it okay if I
take my mask off?
You're the only person still
wearing a goddamn mask!
[Fast winds]
You are fierce.
You are a fierce bitch.
You have 67,762 followers
as of this morning.
And you can do this.
It's just, uh, sharp.
Oh.
Tools.
Girl Scout is always prepared,
whether it's a tornado in the
sticks or Hurricane Sasha
being extra.
Boot up babycakes.
Momma's gotta post.
Oh, watch the bumps I.
I don't want to
hit the wrong keys.
I can't do anything about the
state of failing infrastructure
in rural America.
Oh, thanks, Google.
I'll take your social
commentary to heart.
Just try and avoid the potholes.
And what about the turtles?
I got to swerve around
the turtles.
Bobby!
Okay, okay.
Anyway, I've always told you
that science happens in the
field, not in the lab.
I know I'm bringing
the lab to the field.
According to my calculations,
we should be able to get some
good readings as close as 500m
from the funnel, so no need to
get too close.
I may be crazy,
but I ain't stupid.
Doctoral candidate Margaret
Miller, I present to you a
cumulonimbus cloud, also known
as a twister or funnel cloud,
but commonly mislabeled a
tornado, which by definition
never reaches the ground.
Oh, you got me.
Cute. Death by laser pointer.
Okay. Baby girl.
Oh, let's see if all those late
nights are going to pay off.
I hope so.
I want to get my doctorate
before we completely run out of
grant money.
What? You never told me that.
No worries.
You worry too much.
That's why I didn't
tell you, okay?
Just be positive.
Oh my God.
The readings are clean.
My calculations were right.
Of course they were.
[Police speaking over radio]
Eyewitnesses report suspect's
SUV heading west
on Millville Road.
Proceed with caution.
We got to get off this road.
There. Take that access road.
[Tires screeching]
That should throw off the cops.
Turn up the radio.
[Radio static]
You changed it.
I got it.
[Laughter]
Oh hell no!
Look out!
Oh!
[Shouting]
Oh my God!
That was so real.
Content.
Damn. You guys rob
a bank or something?
Hey, give me that.
Are you serious?
[Gunshot]
Hey, give me that phone.
No!
Damn it!
Stop her! She got a
picture of us.
Keep filling the bags.
We got to get out of here
before the cops get here.
That was my backup phone.
What kind of person
kills a phone?
The kind of person you don't
want to mess with.
I'm taking the car.
Stay away.
I so wish I could post this.
5.4 ERG, 33 MPs, volume 623.
Got it.
Awesome. I told you
this would work.
Okay, 52 seconds.
If this data is correct, we
should be able to move on to
phase two of the experiment.
Magpies spreading her wings.
All right.
40 seconds.
I hate to admit it, but
maybe I can be too cautious.
We probably could have
done this test once.
What's out there?
I thought I saw
someone by the funnel.
Oh, man, you got to be joking.
There are two cars in
the path of the cloud.
Are you serious?
Looks like they had an accident.
Let me see.
I mean, they are right in
the pathway of the funnel.
If they don't move,
they're going to get hit.
We gotta.
We gotta call.
911. It's mother nature.
First responders
can't stop a twister.
Yeah, but they can't get
those people out of there.
If they don't,
they're gonna.
Everyone is calling 911.
Of course they are.
There's a twister running
through town, and we have front
row seats.
Come on.
What are you doing?
What?
Oh, no.
You are not going down there.
Are you crazy?
There's not enough time.
Yes there is.
You just read me all
the calculations.
And since you're never
wrong, we got this.
Oh, no.
No way.
I could be wrong.
Margie, you've been lab
partners for 16 months.
I know your numbers are right.
You know your numbers are right.
And those people have no one
to help them but us.
Now, strap it all down.
What are the keys?
What'd you do with the keys?
Ask Sasha. It's her ride.
Phone killer.
I can't believe you did this.
Such a dick.
Where are the keys?
I told you, I don't have them.
It's not my car.
Sasha must have them.
Just need the phone, lady.
Get away from me!
No! Get away you jerk!
Ah! Ah!
You can't run forever, lady.
You're really starting
to piss me off.
[Screaming]
Run, Sasha! Run!
We need the keys.
Really?
Don't look back! Run faster!
Get in the van! That funnel is
headed right at you.
Come on, Sasha!
[Horn honking]
Come on. You don't have
much time.
Come on! That clouds
coming right
at you!
You idiot!
I'm stuck.
Well, take your shoe off.
It's a boot.
I know it's a boot.
Then why don't you say shoe?
A shoe is easy
to take off.
But a boot has laces
and it's hard.
Will you shut up!
Keep going Sasha!
You're gonna make it!
She's not gonna make it.
Positive thinking
she's gonna make it.
You're gonna make it!
We gotta get out of here now!
[Screaming]
[Screaming]
No.
You okay?
As the storm rages through.
Central County, homeowners are
advised to shelter in place.
To shelter.
For 30 years, this old brick
block house has
survived everything that Mother
Nature has thrown our way.
And this hurricane
discount certainly helps.
It's not a hurricane.
It's a typhoon.
No, silly one.
Typhoons are in the ocean.
And so is a hurricane.
You're both wrong.
It's a supercell.
[From television]
This just in.
The bank robbers from the
First National Bank heist have
crashed their vehicle
into Sugartown Farms.
Our reporter, Alice Grant is
on the scene with farmer Bob.
Uh, well, yeah, I was strapping
down a bunch of my equipment
before the storm hit, and these
idiots drove right past me into
the eye of the funnel cloud,
and they headed straight.
That's right.
Farmer Bob witnessed these very
dangerous criminals crashed
their SUV into his cornfield.
And then they started this.
He saw the eye of the storm.
And then they started.
He saw the storm
engulfed the SUV.
And what happened next?
- Uh. The cash.
- He saw all
the cash from the bank robbery
get sucked into the storm.
Millions of dollars of cash
just floating around inside
that funnel cloud.
Am I reading this right?
Are we talking about a.
No doubt about it.
We have ourselves a cash storm.
A cash storm.
You've heard it
here first, folks.
Millions of dollars are
currently flying across Central
Valley in a cash storm.
Can you believe that?
A cash storm.
Now, I've seen everything.
Our analyst estimate nearly
$1.2 million in the
air as we speak.
Meteorologist Lou the glue
McBride says that as the funnel
cloud travels across the
valley, hundreds of thousands
of dollars have the potential
of raining down
on our residents.
Well, there you have it, folks.
It's a mad, mad, mad,
mad world after all.
What about your tabs?
chaps?
- I don't want to know.
- What?
I don't want to know who
you are or what your deal is.
I just want to get you and your
partner to safety and drop you
off.
Partner? More like boat anchor.
I should have never brought
him in on this.
I said I don't want to know.
Yeah, well, I think
you already know.
And that's the problem.
No, there is no problem.
I don't know, I
don't want to know.
I saw that you were in trouble,
and that's all I needed to know.
Well, that's.
I owe you for that, which
is why we have a problem.
No we don't.
Well, you saw my face, but
you also saved my life.
I'm horrible with faces.
I smoked so much
grass over the years.
If I say I don't remember your
face, the cops will believe me.
What about your friend
and the hot mess?
Hey.
Don't trust this guy.
He's some kind of bank robber.
He killed my phone!
You can't kill a phone.
It's glass and metal.
You shot it.
You shot her phone? What kind
of person shoots a phone?
That's what I said.
Enough with the phone.
Get in the back and shut up.
This is bad, Jake.
We lost the money.
You said my name.
I heard nothing.
Now listen, you can
have this van once we get back
to the lab.
- Lab?
- Yes.
We can shelter there from the
storm, and then you can take
the van. It's a rental.
Is it close?
Yes. And we have water and
fuel for the backup generator.
And you can have it all.
Just let us go, and I promise
our memories will
be very, very foggy.
You know, with the storm, it's
easy to be confused
by the storm.
Oh.
Here. Try this.
This will help.
It's a Bibo bioscience
brain health shot.
I'm a brand ambassador.
Bibo Bioscience Brain health
shot supports
cognitive function
and longevity.
This one's pineapple flavored.
Mm. It's delicious.
How are you feeling?
Better?
See, you got your voice back.
These things are amazing.
And they have no caffeine in it.
I'm already hyper
enough as it is.
This is gonna work.
Bobby. Bobby, the
numbers add up.
Our machine is gonna work.
We did it! Whoo!
Margie not the time.
Kind of got my hands full.
- Careful.
- I'm trying.
We finally got the
machine dialed in.
Last thing we want is to
destroy it in an accident.
You want to drive?
- Sorry.
- What does it do?
It's complicated.
You wouldn't understand.
Just because I look fabulous
does not mean I am not smart.
I'm the whole package, babe.
Okay. Sorry.
It takes barometric readings,
density, and velocity through
optical filters between 100 and
500 nanometers, then determines
the countermeasures to reverse
the supercell's mesocyclone.
You're right, I
don't understand.
I'm sorry.
Look, our doctoral thesis is
based on the theory that a
funnel cloud can be reversed,
essentially killing it.
Oh, like my phone.
Will you give it up already?
You guys can stop a tornado?
Um, theoretically.
Theoretically, we can do it
according to my calculations,
which are always right.
I told you we could do this.
Whoa!
You can stop a tornado?
Damn right we can.
- Theoretically.
- We can do it.
So I can get my money back.
All right, new plan.
You turn the van around, we're
going to go back and use your
contraption to
get my money back.
Well, it's not, uh, it's not
like a toaster that we bought
at Best Buy that you
can flip a switch on.
It has multiple components that
it needs and the calibration
- needs to be set.
- Alright fine, fine,
fine, fine, fine.
Where are the components?
Back at the lab.
The lab we're going
to take shelter in?
Yes. There's only one lab.
All right fine. New plan.
We're going to go to the lab.
You mean the original plan I
was executing in
the first place?
Just drive.
As the storm intensifies.
Residents are disregarding
warnings to take shelter and
taking to the streets.
Our field reporter, Alice
Grant is on the scene.
- Alice.
- That's right.
Alice Grant here on the scene,
witnessing first hand the gold
rush of Center Valley.
There's money in the air,
literally, and everyone is
scrambling around to get
their piece of the action.
Oh excuse me sir.
Sir, can you tell me and our
viewers at home what your name
is and where you're from?
Uh, my name is Larry Greentree.
I am from the West.
It's great to have you
here, Larry.
And can you tell us first hand
give us an eyewitness account
of what you are seeing?
Uh, yeah.
I came out of my apartment, and
I just saw this
- crazy storm.
- A cash storm.
That's right, folks,
he saw a cash storm.
And you're hearing it
here first on Action I News.
I'm Alice grant.
Why are you not
sheltering in place?
Uh, well, I'm going to go get
some of that money that's just
flying around out there.
That's right, folks.
He's willing to risk
life and limb throwing all
common sense out the window,
risking his life headed towards
a deadly tornado like
a complete moron.
Well, when you put it that
way, I'm not so sure
about this anymore.
Too late, Larry.
Our viewers at home are
waiting to see what happens.
So go for it.
Go ahead now, buddy.
Head towards the storm.
Back to you, Donna.
Well, there you have it.
Don't touch that dial.
We'll bring you all the action
and life and death
drama as it happens.
You can't get that on streaming.
See, there still is a
reason to have live TV.
Don't touch that dial.
Dial.
Who has a dial on
their TV anymore?
It's just a figure of speech.
Like, hold your horses,
keep your shirt on, hang tight.
Why aren't you out there
with the rest of them?
I'm rich.
Nah. Cheers me to a
lot of money in booze.
Even more in pot.
Don't do anything you'll regret.
Too late for that.
Keep an eye on that one.
I don't want her running off.
So your device can
kill a tornado?
Yeah.
Not only that, it'll reverse
the vortex and it'll drop all
the debris in a
centralized location.
So your money will
basically fall at your feet.
Bullshit.
How's that even possible?
Science, baby.
It's all true.
You know, those anti-vax people
have their heads up their butts.
Oh. I'm vaccinated.
Oh, so you're not
a total douchebag.
Congratulations.
Is she telling the truth?
About what?
The machine. Your machine.
Can it do what she
says it can do?
In theory.
Theory?
What the hell does that mean?
Yep. Here it is.
That's her.
Shit.
@SuperSash here in
front of this totally
amazing tornado.
Oh. Thanks, Broho342.
Okay, squad, remember
to like and share.
I'm going for a record
number of views.
- That bitch.
- This is like totally insane.
This big,
bank robber guy tackled me in a
field and I'm covered in grass,
and I'm headed to see my
bestie at PetaLovesYou.
- Over there.
- Oh, that's so nice.
Why didn't I see that?
Hmm. Right.
Oh my God. A million
likes! You rock fans!
This is the happiest
day of my life!
God, she's so lucky.
A million likes in
just a few minutes.
I gotta get a new phone.
You can use mine.
Really? Oh, you're so sweet.
Thank you.
What's your passcode?
You know what?
I knew this was bullshit.
I should just shoot the both
of you and take the van.
No, no, no, no. It's true, it's
true in theory,
Like, well,
theoretically it's true.
We just haven't tested it yet.
What?
It'll work. It will work.
It's, uh.
I just haven't had the
confidence to run the
experiment yet.
But it'll work.
Like we'll run the device.
It'll kill the twister.
And I swear your money's
going to drop to your feet.
For real?
Oh, yeah, 100%.
All right.
How can I help?
Alice Grant on the scene here
at the crossroads of County
Line and Millville Road.
Officer.
Yes. I'm on TV.
Thank you, officer, for taking
the time to talk with us about
your operation.
Are you blocking off the road
to protect our fellow citizens
from the dangerous bank
robbers who are still at large?
Or perhaps the deadly tornado
that is ripping
through the valley.
Well, I'm not really.
Oh, you're not at
liberty to say.
The freedom of the press
empowers me to know the truth,
empowers the public
to know the truth.
What are you trying to hide?
- Hide? I don't think you.
- Oh, I see.
You're trying to cover up
the real purpose
behind this roadblock.
As a representative of the
First Amendment, I'm here to
say that I demand to know why
the public, our viewers, demand
to know why you have
put up this roadblock.
I really didn't do I don't know.
Oh. You're trying to play
dumb now.
I want to speak with
your superior officer.
Give me your badge
and your name.
My name is Chuck.
Okay. Officer Chuck, I want
to know your badge number.
I don't have a badge.
What kind of a police
officer doesn't have a badge?
I'm not a police officer.
Then why am I talking to you?
Why are you talking to me?
Because you are, I thought.
What do you think is going to
happen to us when he finds out
you are full of shit?
Look, I was scrambling, okay?
I'm just buying us time.
Time? Oh.
You should have just given him
the van and be done with it.
We've seen his face
and we know his name.
I don't think keeping
us alive was an option.
Oh, but you think it's going to
be an option when he finds out
this machine has never been
tested in a real
world situation.
It can overheat.
It could short circuit.
It could blow up.
It could just not work.
Have you thought of any of that?
Don't be such a bummer.
It's gonna work.
Your numbers are correct.
And you've never failed at
anything you've ever done in
your whole life.
Because I'm too afraid to do
anything without double and
triple and quadruple
checking every little thing.
Exactly.
Besides, sometimes you got
to leap before you look.
That's a stupid saying.
It's positive thinking.
You should try it sometime.
It actually works.
You know what?
Maybe when you're baking
cookies or you're planting
vegetables, but not when you're
testing a cyclotron on a 150
mile hour funnel cloud while
homicidal bank robber is
pointing a gun at your head!
You good? You got that
out of your system?
Yes.
Now do what you know you can do,
and I will figure out the next
way to deflect this maniac.
All right. Deal?
Deal.
I don't like the plan.
Well, I didn't ask your opinion.
They saved our lives.
And Peta seems really cool.
She knows your name?
No, I know her name.
I did what you said.
No names.
Even though you said
it was okay earlier.
That was amongst us,
not other people.
Jesus. What else does she know?
Nothing. He just talked
about her friend
@SuperSash.
Now she got over a
million views on her feed.
Did you know that those girls
make over 100K a year
as brand ambassadors?
I think we could do that.
Between robbing banks.
The hell's the matter with you?
I wish you would
stop doing that.
And I wish you would
stick to the plan.
Yes, I get it.
She just seemed nice.
Nice will get you 20 years.
Got it.
What if we cut them
in on the take?
Give them Scully share.
You got over Scully
real quick, didn't you?
Scully was a dick.
Yes he was.
Cash cloud.
Money storm.
The green tornado.
It sounds like, it sounds
like the Green Hornet.
What about.
What about money Maelstrom?
Ooh. How about the
billowing bank?
Windfall?
Ooh.
Double meaning.
That's a good one.
Boomy Benjamins.
Raining riches.
Or pennies from heaven.
Dude, that's a song.
It was a movie two
starring Bing Crosby.
Bah boo boo boo boo boo.
Man,
this is some good stuff.
- Mhm.
- I'm in the wrong business.
Well, have I got an
opportunity for you.
Do you really have to point
that thing the whole time?
What if we hit a
pothole or something?
Then you're dead.
Oh.
What? No snarky comeback?
Nothing funny to say.
We don't belong here.
Well, neither do we.
I should be on my way
to the Caribbean by now.
Life's tough all over.
Well, I do have a nice herbal
rub that'll soothe your nerves.
Dan Valley Organics herbal
muscle rub with cayenne.
Great for sore
joints and stress.
Here. Try some.
I'm a brand ambassador.
[Country music playing]
All righty.
Greedy bastards.
Are you ready?
Yep. Let's go get ours
before it's all gone.
Woo hoo! Wait for me!
Pain in my ass!
[Laughter]
Oh jackpot.
I got fat stacks over here.
Greedy bastard.
You want to race, huh?
Let's race.
There it is.
The funnel. How close
do we have to get?
Huh?
Hey!
What are you doing?
Science shit.
Do you want to help?
I, uh.
How close does he
have to get to it?
You got it?
Yeah. The machine is set.
Right.
Keep going.
We estimate the
range at about 100m.
That's freaking close.
Yeah, that's science for you.
You aren't risking your own
life, you aren't doing it right.
Really? Is that true?
No.
I'm a scientist.
I'm not stupid.
Oh, there.
Pull up there. That's good
enough. Over there.
Uh, it has to face
the funnel cloud.
Yep. You got to do a 180
and face the back of the van
towards the storm.
You got it?
[Heavy winds]
For you viewers at home, I will
try to convey the experience I
am having right now.
Live from the edge of the storm.
Wow, she She is stupid.
Nah, man, she's the
fourth estate.
She's the reason why this
country is still a democracy.
Freedom of the press.
She's a hero.
She's a moron.
The wind is blowing so
hard I can barely stand.
This reminds me of the time.
That I did a special
report on jet engines.
Ha! What a bad hair day
that was split ends.
Was that a fish I just saw?
Alice?
Just a warning to our viewers.
Please do not try this at home.
Alice is a professional
meteorologist.
She has had extensive training
to bring this compelling story
to your living rooms.
Are you there? Alice?
I'm okay, I'm okay.
From what I can tell,
this is an Alaskan salmon.
Safe to say, it didn't fly.
Here from Alaska, most
likely from Barnacle Bob's
fish market back in town.
The missing head is
also a good indicator.
That's amazing, Alice.
Live TV.
It's incredible.
Don't miss a single
moment, viewers.
You can't afford to not
watch our broadcast.
Your lives may depend on it.
I'm not going anywhere.
I can't move.
[Intense drumming]
We need to set it on a flat
surface with the emitter facing
the funnel.
All right, got it.
Yo! Hey, Charlie, keep
your head in the game.
Come on.
Just only hold it from here.
Hey, y'all, it's your
BFF, @PetaLovesYou.
Sorry I was dark for a few
hours, but as you can see from
my BFF @SuperSasha's
livestream, stream, there is an
epic tornado here in
the Central Valley.
Right now I am in the van of
these fierce weather gals.
Hey there @EdVample
and @HeavyBeast23.
I love you too.
If you look over my shoulder,
those two sisters are setting
up a device that
can stop a tornado.
Yes, @YOLOPartyGirl,
My hair looks wack.
Okay. Rude.
Um. But whenever my hair is
being sketchy, I always use the
hypersonic USB portable
Rechargeable Titanium
hair straightener.
You can use code.
Peta loves you for 30%
off your first purchase.
And when you set it
down, don't drop it.
The accelerometers on
the inside are delicate.
This is only a prototype
for testing.
But it'll work, just the same.
Yeah, well, for your
sake, it'd better.
How can I help?
Yeah. See these two leads here?
I need you to connect them
to these power cables.
Can you please put that away?
I can't concentrate.
Yeah, well, that's too bad.
I know you two are
up to something.
I think this is bullshit.
Bullshit? Bullshit?
I've spent my entire life
planning this device.
It'll save hundreds,
no thousands of lives.
No longer will little girls
lose their parents to a rogue
supercell that randomly
chose my house.
Out of all the other houses in
the neighborhood, leaving me to
be raised by my creepy aunt
and fat uncle who smells like
pickles and sauerkraut.
So no, my bank robber friend.
This is not bullshit.
All right, I get it.
You're tragic.
Whether it works
or not, who knows?
You're connected.
You said my name.
What?
No I didn't.
Yes you did.
You yelled Charlie
to get my attention.
Oh, shit.
Now they know both our names.
This is getting
worse all the time.
Let's just take the van and
get the hell up out of here.
Screw the money.
Screw the money?
I didn't come all this
way to screw the money.
There's over $1
million right there.
Just a couple
football fields away.
If these chicks can do what
they say they can
do, it's all mine.
Ours.
Yeah. Of course,
of course ours.
Jesus. Everyone's paranoid.
The gizmo is humming.
Hashtag science gals are
making history,
while the hashtag bank
robbers are
holding us hostage.
If anyone could please tell the
cops that we are in trouble,
that would be solid.
Oh, @SoccerMom482,
@SoccerMom432, and @BigBalls69
I appreciate you.
Please like and share y'all.
I am shooting to be
@SuperSasha's number.
We are over 500 K.
Keep sharing y'all.
I need a hand over here.
But I'm streaming.
Ah, I love you too
@HungryHippo.
Damn it Peta, this is a matter
of life or death.
Okay Peta squad. We're about
to join the action.
It's gonna get intense.
What do you need, boss babe?
Seriously now?
My fans are getting
the cops for us.
Don't shame social.
Oh, yeah, good idea.
Okay, so I need you to hold the
doors open so they don't close
on the cables.
But when I give you the signal,
I want you to shut the doors.
Okay? You understand?
Yes, I understand.
You all understand, right?
You know, you better hide that
phone or you're
going to be screwed.
Hold you, Peta squad.
Okay, let me flip it.
So here's the deal.
Over there are the two
dickheads who robbed the bank
and are now holding us hostage.
Hashtag real danger.
Please share y'all.
I think we can get the
streams over big mil.
What are you doing?
She's holding the doors open so
they don't close on the cables.
Is that okay?
Yeah. How long is
that going to take?
Not long.
It's charging up.
Okay, guys, I need your help.
I need you to grab here and
here, and I need you to grab
here and here.
Okay. So when I crank up the
power, it's gonna vibrate.
It cannot move off target.
Otherwise the
vortex won't align.
So. All right, I got it.
And you?
I got it.
Okay.
Okay. When I give you the
signal, shut the doors.
What's the signal?
I'll say, shut the doors.
Right. Don't let go.
It's working.
I don't believe it.
Okay, hold it tight.
Hold still.
Shut the doors!
[Gunshots]
Damn it!
I knew I should
have taken the van.
I told you to take the van.
Now we're stuck with.
It's getting bigger.
Yeah, but it's not moving.
It's not going anywhere.
No it's not.
It's moving backwards.
Oh! Fat stack.
That's good.
Come on.
I got it here first. It's mine.
Ownership isn't final
until it's in the bag, Steve.
You greedy son of
a bitch, Rick!
I knew I
couldn't trust you.
Trust me.
You've been sleeping
with my ex-wife.
But you hate Brittney.
But that's
not the point.
Bro's before hoes.
We gotta go back.
The wind's too strong.
Then let go of the cash.
You let go!
Hell, no!
[Screaming]
See?
That's what I'm talking about.
They're trying to
steal our money.
It's over, man.
We're done.
It's not over until
I say it's over.
That's what I thought.
We got a ride.
Let's go.
Not long.
Okay. It's charging up now.
Is this going to work?
I don't care, as.
Long as it distracts those two.
Long enough for
Margie to get free.
Oh snap. Girls, we scheming.
How much it vibrates.
You cannot let it
move off target.
- Okay?
- Yeah, I got it.
I'm serious.
No matter how much it vibrates.
- Do not let go.
- I got it.
Okay.
All right.
When I give you the signal,
I need you to shut the doors.
What's the signal?
I'll say shut the doors.
Right.
Okay, gang, you're part of this.
Give me feedback and share.
Yes, 600 K.
Keep sharing, y'all.
Oh, my God, you gotta see this.
Oh. See that?
Whoa! It's working.
This is epic, y'all.
And @PetaLovesYou is the
only place to see this.
Whoo!
Hold still.
Shut the doors.
Where'd you go?
Oh, shut the door!
[Screaming and gunshots]
Are you okay?
Are you shot?
Are you, are you hurt?
Uh. I'm okay.
Oh, that was so real.
A million!
Oh, my God, a million!
This is the most I ever had.
Thank you so much.
This is epic, y'all.
And I have these two
fierce ladies to thank.
Oh my God.
Introduce yourself.
This is epic.
Yeah. Uh, I say your name.
Um, Margaret
Gallagher Owens.
Margie.
You are like a super
genius scientist.
Right, Marge?
Turn that shit off.
Oh, come on, this is epic.
You're famous.
Tell us who you are.
- Stop!
- Shit!
Oh, God.
[Slow music]
We have to get
her to a hospital.
We will, but it's
a half hour away.
I have to stabilize her first.
If we don't stop the bleeding,
she'll bleed out before we get
there and die.
Are you a doctor?
No. This is basic first aid.
You've never taken
a first aid class?
No, I'm not a doctor.
It's basic first aid.
Everyone should
know that in CPR.
Jeez, people are so stupid.
I'm not stupid.
No no no.
No no no no no no no no no.
Let go. You need to let go.
I need to stop the bleeding.
Oh my God.
[Screaming]
Relax. You have to lower
your blood pressure.
Relaxed.
Come here.
Press really hard. Push hard!
Oh, hey.
Hey, hey, look at me,
I got you, I got you.
No bullshit.
- Do what she says.
- okay?
Okay. Move your hand.
Let me do it.
I got you.
You're gonna be okay.
Your BFF is gonna patch you up,
and then we're gonna get you
right to a hospital, okay?
All right, all right.
It's gonna be okay.
I don't know, I
don't feel so good.
No. Baby girl, you are
going to be okay, I promise.
Okay. I'm ready.
Bobby, this is gonna hurt.
You can do this.
Okay. We need to lift
your shirt and get the
anti-coagulant on
as fast as we can.
- Okay.
- Got it.
Are you ready?
Okay. Okay.
Let go.
[Screaming]
It's okay, Bobby.
It's okay, Bobby.
Okay. You're good.
You're good.
That's it.
You're gonna be okay.
Am I gonna live?
Are you talking?
Yeah. Then you're gonna live.
I love you, Magpie.
Oh, that's so sweet.
I love you, too,
my nerdy granola.
I gotta post this.
Keep drinking.
You need to get your fluids up.
She's drinking, she's drinking.
God, she's like my grandmother.
You have no idea.
I heard that.
Here it is.
Check it out.
I recorded the whole thing.
Wow.
Oh, you're an animal.
Do you stream everything?
Almost everything.
The life of an influencer.
Constant content all
day, seven days a week.
Just chasing the algorithm.
I don't think you influencers
did anything except look pretty.
Oh. Thank you.
I try, but, I mean, there are
thousands of prettier girls
than me.
It's all about
personality. Y'all.
Y'all. A girl with California
style and southern charm is
what separates me from the rest.
That's smart.
Really?
Yeah. I'm really
sorry about earlier.
Bobby keeps telling me that
there's two kinds of smarts in
this world, and I only have one.
There's book smarts and world
smarts, and you need to work on
the world ones.
Well, I think today was a
pretty good step
in that direction.
I don't believe it.
Well, I thought it was pretty
clever outsmarting those guys.
No, no, our.
Our experiment.
It actually worked.
Look at the video.
I'm driving.
Show her the video.
Uh. Hold on.
Oh. See that?
Whoa! It's working.
This is epic, y'all.
It was actually working.
The vortex was actually
counteracting the funnel cloud.
See? We did it.
We killed the power.
There's no way to know for sure.
Don't you dare.
What?
Don't you dare.
After all we've been through
today, go back to that mousey.
No self-confidence.
Chicken shit from this morning.
Oh, chicken shit.
Yeah. Chicken shit.
I literally had to get shot in
order for the real you
to break out of your shell.
And then there was
no second guessing.
You jumped right into action.
Well, that's because I had
taken a first aid class.
Yeah, and you got an A plus in
it because you're Miss Perfect
at everything you do.
Just like our research.
Our experiment has been ready
for months now,
and you know it.
The experiment worked.
We did it!
Damn right, Magpie.
So that contraption of yours
can really stop a tornado?
Oh, actually, it's a supercell.
Commonly known as
a funnel cloud.
- Yes Peta you're correct.
It'll stop a storm from causing
damage and killing people.
Which is why we did
this in the first place.
That's right.
Okay. We need to get
you to a hospital.
I'm feeling better.
Oh, bullshit.
We are getting
you to a hospital.
Besides, those maniacs
are still out there.
Fine. But you have to promise
me that you'll go back.
Peta. You want to
be a lab assistant?
Oh, I'm in this for
the long haul.
You two are
my spirit animals.
Oh, I don't think you're
allowed to use
that term anymore.
Oh, my God, you're right.
I'm so sorry.
Please don't tell anyone I said
that that would get me canceled
for sure.
As influencers, we,
we literally have to be angels.
One mistake and you lose
followers and then sponsors.
Please, please, please don't
tell anyone I said that.
I'm really sorry.
Roll down the window.
Uh.
What do I do?
Do what he says.
Okay, I'm gonna put
my hand on the switch.
Don't shoot me.
Oh, good.
I got one.
Asshole.
Are you okay?
Listen up, you three.
You may have won round one.
I'll give you that.
But you now know I will not
hesitate to kill all of you.
What do you want?
I want my money.
And before you pulled the plug,
I think your little machine was
gonna get it for me.
It was supposed to
work on its own.
We figured you would get your
money, and then
we'd just be free.
It was an honest mistake.
We didn't mean anything by it.
Liar!
All of you are liars.
No, I'm the liar.
She's the blabbermouth and
she's the goody two shoes.
She's telling the truth.
See, I told you,
they're just scared.
Good.
They should be, because
you're going to do what I say.
And this time I'm
taking the van keys.
Now unlock it.
We have to get Bobby
to a hospital.
She looks fine to me.
No, those are just
triage bandages.
She needs real
medical attention.
Well, I'll let you go
after you get my money.
No, we have to get
her to a hospital.
Or I could just shoot her now.
No, wait.
Okay, okay.
Hold on.
Here's what we're gonna do.
You come.
Come with me.
She's gonna come with
me in the compact.
We'll follow you to the machine.
Let's go, let's go!
Damn it!
Come. Come on.
This is a bad idea.
No bank robbery is 20
years of possible parole.
Murder is life.
I didn't sign up for this.
You do what I say.
I can throw down too, Jake.
Yeah, Jake. Jake.
Jake! And my name is Charlie.
So, yeah, everyone knows
everyone and we're all screwed.
So let's just get our money.
Let them go.
Get the hell up out
of this shit town.
It's about time you grew a pair.
We'll do what you say.
Come on.
You're driving.
Keep drinking.
It's important.
I feel fine.
The funnel cloud is
getting bigger, I noticed.
Is that gonna make a difference?
The truth this time.
The truth.
The truth.
The truth is, is that science
is not an exact science.
There are so many factors in
the formation of a
cumulonimbus cloud.
No one can predict outcomes.
But we're going to try our
hardest to make sure it works.
Look, honestly, we just want to
give you what you want, forget
your names and make
it to a hospital.
I thought you said
you were fine.
As fine as I can be
under the circumstances.
[Country music]
Do I know you?
I asked you a.
I do,
I do know you.
You're @PeterLovesYou!
Son of a bitch.
Ah, I love you.
Why don't you have an accent?
I thought you had an accent.
Hey, y'all.
Ooh, I knew it.
Say something else.
I don't know what to say.
Oh, you little faker.
It's just my brand.
@PetaLovesYou is my social.
Where all my fans can,
like, follow and share.
Oh, my God, that's awesome.
So it's all bullshit.
Too funny.
Not entirely.
I mean, my mom is from Atlanta.
I just copy the way that she
spoke when I was growing up.
What about your mama?
Does she know that you're
a fucking murderer?
Hey! Wait up!
Uh, it was just supposed
to be a quick hold up.
All right?
No hostages.
No. You know, shooting
none of that bullshit.
Hmm. Well, you fooled me.
I'm not gonna let
Jake hurt anyone.
Bobby has a bullet in her gut.
I'm sorry about that.
I promise you, you will be set
free once Jake gets his money.
I swear on my mother's grave.
Oh.
You lost your mama, too.
That must be hard.
Yeah.
You lost your mother?
Yup.
Yeah.
I really miss her.
That's why I really got to go
home to make sure I'm there for
my daddy.
I'm all he has left.
I'm really important to him,
and he's really important to me.
I really got to get
home to my daddy.
You know,
we are just two peas
in a pod, after all.
Going down the road of life,
we got to stick together.
You and I.
You know what I mean, sugar?
I guess.
Yeah.
What can we do, y'all?
Dreamwork.
Teamwork makes the dream
work, right?
You get your money, we get
the heck out of here, right?
What's next?
We need to target
the funnel cloud.
So the first step is
to load up the machine.
Yeah, sounds like a plan.
Seriously?
It's not that heavy.
You can do it yourself.
All right, Charlie,
you'll drive here.
You getting back?
No problemo, senor.
She always have an accent?
Isn't that cool?
She's. Peta Loves You.
The southern belle of
California fashion.
- What?
- She's famous.
For what?
For being famous.
I'm starting to think you don't
understand what's at
stake here.
Don't you threaten me.
Oh.
[Gunshot]
New plan.
You drive.
What about Charlie?
What about your accent?
That's what I thought.
Let's go.
We'll be right back with our
reporter in the field as soon
as they reconnect the uplink.
Meanwhile, I've just gotten
confirmation of two more bodies
found near the
Westmont junction.
They had several bills from the
First National Bank heist on
their persons.
They are believed to be fortune
hunters like the rest, bringing
the current death toll to 12.
We once again remind our
viewers that these are deadly
conditions, and you should take
shelter in a basement or in a
room near the center
of your homes.
[Dark orchestra music]
What are you doing?
I got to line it
up with the cloud.
Are we close enough?
Just let her do her job.
Yeah, okay. Alright fine.
If this doesn't work.
You're all dead.
Just chill.
We'll do it.
[Music continues]
Help me.
I need you to fix the door open.
Otherwise the wind's
going to blow it closed.
Well, you're not going to
take it out of the van.
No, it needs to be anchored to
something heavy like the van.
So you lied to me
about that too?
I didn't.
I didn't lie.
Do you want your money or not?
Of course I do.
Okay, then.
You strap down the door and
let me run my experiment.
I set the reactor at 100% last
time. It pulled 60 amps
100%? That's more
than we talked about.
I know I was hoping it would
blow those dickheads up, but I
didn't think it
would actually work.
What do you know about that?
100. It is.
The door is fastened.
Get out of the way!
[Machine humming]
- It's working!
- It really is!
[Laughter]
Oh, shit.
[Machine peeping]
It's still within
acceptable margins.
What's the core velocity?
Uh, 38 K.
- And the amperage?
- Holding at 60.
It's plateauing.
Hey it stopped working!
No, no, no, just
give it a second.
It needs to adjust.
Bullshit.
You lied to me before,
and you're doing it again.
No, it's supposed to work.
We just need to get closer.
Closer? How stupid
do you think I am?
That's it.
I'm done.
[Gunshot]
What?
[Gunshots]
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
You got him. You got him.
You got him.
I didn't want this.
I'm sorry.
- I didn't want this.
- It's okay.
I didn't want this.
You believe me, right?
Y'all know that I believe
you sugar.
It's not working.
We gotta get out of here.
- Wait.
- What?
Bobby needs a hospital.
We gotta go.
We need to get
closer to the funnel.
The energy is dissipating.
Before it's making contact.
We have to get closer.
Are you crazy?
[Together]
No.
We can do this. Trust me.
Trust us.
Can I live stream it?
Hey, y'all.
@PetaLovesYou here live as
history is being made.
I'm here with the two fiercest
BFFs a southern girl could ask
for as they set off
to make history.
Drive Peta!
Sorry, y'all.
I got a job to do.
Okay, right now I am driving
backwards into a
cumulonimbus cloud.
That's the technical term
for a tornado, y'all.
- Focus Peta.
- I can multitask.
So we got this machine right?
Wait, does the
machine have a name?
No! Keep driving!
We gotta work on that.
Hey, fans, why don't we hold a
contest to see who can come up
with the best name?
Damn it! Peta focus.
Okay, okay.
Sorry. Y'all here's just gonna
have to watch without
my commentary.
A little closer.
Got it.
Don't overdo it.
I got this.
Slow down!
I got it.
A little.
Stop!
That should do it.
[Upbeat orchestra music]
[Machine beeping]
The reactor's going critical.
It'll hold.
We gotta turn it off.
It'll hold.
Then adjust the port side.
- That should help.
- Right.
[Explosion]
[Laughter]
Ha ha!
You have expenses, right?
Girl's gotta eat.
Ow ow.
Girl's gotta get to a hospital.
Yeah.
Just moments ago, our cameraman
shot these images of scientists
in a van using a miraculous new
machine to destroy the tornado,
saving countless lives.
That's amazing, Alice.
What's the mood of
the people on the streets?
It's like the whole town
just won the lottery.
It's raining money and the
citizens are just
giddy with joy.
Ah!
Ah ha ha ha!
I'm rich, I'm rich,
I'm rich, I'm rich.
Hey, hey.
You okay there, TV lady?
Ah.
Yeah, I am okay.
So what's your opinion
about the events from today?
The events from today?
Have you noticed the
events from today?
Because you don't talk much
about the events from yesterday
or ten decades ago, or the
1919 Black Sox scandal or the
Lindbergh baby?
No, it's all this
24 hour news cycle.
What do you think about that?
That's exactly what I thought.
Thank you, Alice. One
more question.
What's the name of
this miracle machine?
I don't know, but I
will certainly find out.
Hey. Oh, hey.
Hey, you.
You want to be on TV?
Come here. Hey, get back here!
There you have it, folks.
We'll be right back after this
brief commercial announcement.
How about calling it,
calling it, "Wind Thrasher?"
No, no, no. Funnel fixer.
Storm killer.
Storm breaker. Storm breaker.
That's it.
That's got a nice
ring to it.
Because,
it's copyrighted by one of
those mega corporations.
No, no, no, it's a Norse legend.
No, I'm pretty sure
it's copyrighted.
And if you use it,
you'll get sued.
Well, we better not do that.
[Upbeat country music]
I was just going to say that.
Take 30, flirty and thriving.
I was literally gonna say that.
Take 30, flirty and thriving.
[Laughter]
I got my pinky.
You better get rid of that
phone
or those guys are gonna
screw you.
You better hide that phone or
those guys are gonna screw you.
Why do I keep
saying it like that?
You better hide the
phone from the guys or.
[Laughter]
Behind me.
[Laughter]
I'll let you go after.
[Laughter]
Am I saying it wrong still?
Graham.
I wasn't even looking at you.
This is your problem
now.
Or you're screwed. No.
Or you're screwed.
It just sounds like I'm horny.
Okay.
Alright. I'm so sorry.
I got it now.
69. Ha ha ha.
[laughter]
Sex.
[Shouting and laughing]
Is this good, Dan?
Love it.
Okay.
I'm gonna fly out of
here.
Nifty 50.
Nobody told me I had to go. 46.
[Gibberish and laughter]
[Laughter]
Oh my God.
I'm so sorry.
[Laughter]
Wow. She swears.
All right, redo that, redo that.
Sorry.
You're hanging
there for a while.
I was like.
Can I bark at Jake?
No.
[Barks]
21 fun.
[Laughter]
Margarita, everybody.
[Glass shattering]
You're killing me, Smalls.
Give me a sec.
A sec? Marge, you've
had, like, an hour.
Oh. Don't exaggerate.
The data just came in.
I want to be sure.
Sure? What is sure?
There is no sure
with Mother Nature.
It's just instincts.
But I sure can tell when you
are stalling and being very
unsure of yourself.
I'm, I'm not unsure of myself.
And stalling?
Really? So then what do
the calculations say?
That there's going
to be a funnel cloud.
And in what direction?
67 degrees northeast.
Right. So what are
we waiting for?
I want to be sure.
Sure of what?
Ah ha!
[Laughter]
Let's do it.
That's my Magpie.
Where are the keys?
Oh, but first I want to make
sure that we take some readings.
I've spent way too much time on
this to crash and burn on our
first experiment.
Well, you got to break
eggs to make an omelet.
Just don't forget to mention
me when you make your speech
winning Pulitzer Prize
for killing a twister.
It's Nobel Prize,
you nerdy granola.
Besides, you've got to learn
to walk before you can run.
Yeah, and we have to drive to
the funnel cloud before we run
any experiments at all.
Okay, then what are
you waiting for?
Let's do this.
Okay.
[Rock music]
Did you really have to
remove the wrappers?
Dye packs idiot.
I found three dye packs
hidden in the wrapped money.
Three!
Three? Damn.
Good call.
How many more bags are inside?
What are you doing here?
I thought I told you to stay
with the bank employees.
This is the last of it.
I don't need to go back inside.
But if you're loaded
down with bags.
How did you keep an eye
on the bank manager?
The what?
The bank manager!
He could trip the silent alarm.
[Bell ringing]
Oh, crap.
That is not a silent alarm.
You think?
It's actually quite loud.
Get in the car!
[Gunshots]
That's not a silent alarm.
That's what I said.
Just drive!
[Bell ringing]
[Gunshot]
Hey, watch the interior.
This is a rental.
So what. You got the
extra coverage.
What extra coverage?
You didn't sign for the
extra coverage
in case of damage.
What is wrong with you?
I never signed that crap.
They're just hitting
you up for more coin.
Besides, my car
insurance covers rentals.
Are you sure about that?
There you go again.
Sure. Yes, I'm sure.
Why do you doubt everything?
You know, you're never gonna
accomplish anything if you
don't believe in yourself.
You are a beautiful, brilliant
scientist and your lack of
self-confidence is
really clogging my chi.
I was just asking whether or
not you have a big insurance
deductible or not.
Most policies only cover damage
beyond the initial deductible.
My policy has a $500
deductible, and since we're
headed straight into a tornado,
I'm pretty darn sure that this
car is going to get beaten
to shit by flying debris.
So excuse me for worrying that
my lab partner is going to get
nailed with a $500 fee.
Shit.
Bobby, I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt
- your feelings.
- No look.
The funnel cloud, it's touching
down right where
you said it would.
Serendipity.
Oh. It's showtime.
Damn it!
What? Oh, what?
I have $1,000 deductible.
Of course.
[Pop music playing]
It's literally right there.
Gotta get a picture of it.
Oh my God, that's so amazing.
I think we're gonna be the
first to post, like, actual
news anchors on antenna TV.
Yeah, let's post together
on each other's counts.
Like a couple of news hosts.
We could simulcast, share
on each other's accounts.
We could stand back.
To back, like.
Like in a metascore that we
got each other's backs like a
metascore, right?
Like a couple of.
What are you doing?
You posted it!
I can't believe you! You bitch!
You narcissistic, selfish hag!
Hag? Have you seen
your eyebrows lately?
You skank!
No, no!
Let go of it!
- No!
- Get off!
Ha!
[Rock music playing]
Those idiots are headed
straight towards
the funnel cloud.
Maybe they're with the
fake news.
Gonna make up some fake
story about a tornado.
But it is a real tornado.
It's right there.
Well then.
Maybe they're just morons.
Sure as shit.
Don't try to be cool, Steve.
Keep filling.
That bag with the shotgun
blast in it is useless.
Well it saved me
from getting shot.
I don't see no cops in the
rearview, but I can hear them
on the radio.
Oh, God!
I've been shot!
I shouldn't have
taken all those bags.
And now I'm gonna bleed
out cause
I'm just trying to
be fricking helpful!
Damn it!
No good deed goes unpunished.
Shut up!
Calm down!
It's just buckshot.
It's no worse than
getting hit with a BB gun.
Let me see.
Taking our masks off now?
What are we taking
our masks off?
I just want to be sure before I
don't do anything like Charlie.
Don't throw me under the bus.
You didn't have the guts
to go into the bank at all.
Getaway driver, my ass.
We didn't need a getaway driver.
What we really needed was an
extra pair of hands to help
carry the money and undo the
dye packs, so I did have to go
and get shot!
And now I'm gonna die
because you!
You're not going to die!
Sorry, but my ear stings.
A lot.
You're gonna be fine.
I'll get you a Band-Aid when
we get to the safe house.
Right, Scully?
He's going to be fine when
we get to the safe house.
Wait. You said my name.
So?
Well, your orders were to never
use each other's names and to
keep our masks on at all times.
So. And you said my name.
So what does it matter?
If it's okay to say our names?
Is it okay if I
take my mask off?
You're the only person still
wearing a goddamn mask!
[Fast winds]
You are fierce.
You are a fierce bitch.
You have 67,762 followers
as of this morning.
And you can do this.
It's just, uh, sharp.
Oh.
Tools.
Girl Scout is always prepared,
whether it's a tornado in the
sticks or Hurricane Sasha
being extra.
Boot up babycakes.
Momma's gotta post.
Oh, watch the bumps I.
I don't want to
hit the wrong keys.
I can't do anything about the
state of failing infrastructure
in rural America.
Oh, thanks, Google.
I'll take your social
commentary to heart.
Just try and avoid the potholes.
And what about the turtles?
I got to swerve around
the turtles.
Bobby!
Okay, okay.
Anyway, I've always told you
that science happens in the
field, not in the lab.
I know I'm bringing
the lab to the field.
According to my calculations,
we should be able to get some
good readings as close as 500m
from the funnel, so no need to
get too close.
I may be crazy,
but I ain't stupid.
Doctoral candidate Margaret
Miller, I present to you a
cumulonimbus cloud, also known
as a twister or funnel cloud,
but commonly mislabeled a
tornado, which by definition
never reaches the ground.
Oh, you got me.
Cute. Death by laser pointer.
Okay. Baby girl.
Oh, let's see if all those late
nights are going to pay off.
I hope so.
I want to get my doctorate
before we completely run out of
grant money.
What? You never told me that.
No worries.
You worry too much.
That's why I didn't
tell you, okay?
Just be positive.
Oh my God.
The readings are clean.
My calculations were right.
Of course they were.
[Police speaking over radio]
Eyewitnesses report suspect's
SUV heading west
on Millville Road.
Proceed with caution.
We got to get off this road.
There. Take that access road.
[Tires screeching]
That should throw off the cops.
Turn up the radio.
[Radio static]
You changed it.
I got it.
[Laughter]
Oh hell no!
Look out!
Oh!
[Shouting]
Oh my God!
That was so real.
Content.
Damn. You guys rob
a bank or something?
Hey, give me that.
Are you serious?
[Gunshot]
Hey, give me that phone.
No!
Damn it!
Stop her! She got a
picture of us.
Keep filling the bags.
We got to get out of here
before the cops get here.
That was my backup phone.
What kind of person
kills a phone?
The kind of person you don't
want to mess with.
I'm taking the car.
Stay away.
I so wish I could post this.
5.4 ERG, 33 MPs, volume 623.
Got it.
Awesome. I told you
this would work.
Okay, 52 seconds.
If this data is correct, we
should be able to move on to
phase two of the experiment.
Magpies spreading her wings.
All right.
40 seconds.
I hate to admit it, but
maybe I can be too cautious.
We probably could have
done this test once.
What's out there?
I thought I saw
someone by the funnel.
Oh, man, you got to be joking.
There are two cars in
the path of the cloud.
Are you serious?
Looks like they had an accident.
Let me see.
I mean, they are right in
the pathway of the funnel.
If they don't move,
they're going to get hit.
We gotta.
We gotta call.
911. It's mother nature.
First responders
can't stop a twister.
Yeah, but they can't get
those people out of there.
If they don't,
they're gonna.
Everyone is calling 911.
Of course they are.
There's a twister running
through town, and we have front
row seats.
Come on.
What are you doing?
What?
Oh, no.
You are not going down there.
Are you crazy?
There's not enough time.
Yes there is.
You just read me all
the calculations.
And since you're never
wrong, we got this.
Oh, no.
No way.
I could be wrong.
Margie, you've been lab
partners for 16 months.
I know your numbers are right.
You know your numbers are right.
And those people have no one
to help them but us.
Now, strap it all down.
What are the keys?
What'd you do with the keys?
Ask Sasha. It's her ride.
Phone killer.
I can't believe you did this.
Such a dick.
Where are the keys?
I told you, I don't have them.
It's not my car.
Sasha must have them.
Just need the phone, lady.
Get away from me!
No! Get away you jerk!
Ah! Ah!
You can't run forever, lady.
You're really starting
to piss me off.
[Screaming]
Run, Sasha! Run!
We need the keys.
Really?
Don't look back! Run faster!
Get in the van! That funnel is
headed right at you.
Come on, Sasha!
[Horn honking]
Come on. You don't have
much time.
Come on! That clouds
coming right
at you!
You idiot!
I'm stuck.
Well, take your shoe off.
It's a boot.
I know it's a boot.
Then why don't you say shoe?
A shoe is easy
to take off.
But a boot has laces
and it's hard.
Will you shut up!
Keep going Sasha!
You're gonna make it!
She's not gonna make it.
Positive thinking
she's gonna make it.
You're gonna make it!
We gotta get out of here now!
[Screaming]
[Screaming]
No.
You okay?
As the storm rages through.
Central County, homeowners are
advised to shelter in place.
To shelter.
For 30 years, this old brick
block house has
survived everything that Mother
Nature has thrown our way.
And this hurricane
discount certainly helps.
It's not a hurricane.
It's a typhoon.
No, silly one.
Typhoons are in the ocean.
And so is a hurricane.
You're both wrong.
It's a supercell.
[From television]
This just in.
The bank robbers from the
First National Bank heist have
crashed their vehicle
into Sugartown Farms.
Our reporter, Alice Grant is
on the scene with farmer Bob.
Uh, well, yeah, I was strapping
down a bunch of my equipment
before the storm hit, and these
idiots drove right past me into
the eye of the funnel cloud,
and they headed straight.
That's right.
Farmer Bob witnessed these very
dangerous criminals crashed
their SUV into his cornfield.
And then they started this.
He saw the eye of the storm.
And then they started.
He saw the storm
engulfed the SUV.
And what happened next?
- Uh. The cash.
- He saw all
the cash from the bank robbery
get sucked into the storm.
Millions of dollars of cash
just floating around inside
that funnel cloud.
Am I reading this right?
Are we talking about a.
No doubt about it.
We have ourselves a cash storm.
A cash storm.
You've heard it
here first, folks.
Millions of dollars are
currently flying across Central
Valley in a cash storm.
Can you believe that?
A cash storm.
Now, I've seen everything.
Our analyst estimate nearly
$1.2 million in the
air as we speak.
Meteorologist Lou the glue
McBride says that as the funnel
cloud travels across the
valley, hundreds of thousands
of dollars have the potential
of raining down
on our residents.
Well, there you have it, folks.
It's a mad, mad, mad,
mad world after all.
What about your tabs?
chaps?
- I don't want to know.
- What?
I don't want to know who
you are or what your deal is.
I just want to get you and your
partner to safety and drop you
off.
Partner? More like boat anchor.
I should have never brought
him in on this.
I said I don't want to know.
Yeah, well, I think
you already know.
And that's the problem.
No, there is no problem.
I don't know, I
don't want to know.
I saw that you were in trouble,
and that's all I needed to know.
Well, that's.
I owe you for that, which
is why we have a problem.
No we don't.
Well, you saw my face, but
you also saved my life.
I'm horrible with faces.
I smoked so much
grass over the years.
If I say I don't remember your
face, the cops will believe me.
What about your friend
and the hot mess?
Hey.
Don't trust this guy.
He's some kind of bank robber.
He killed my phone!
You can't kill a phone.
It's glass and metal.
You shot it.
You shot her phone? What kind
of person shoots a phone?
That's what I said.
Enough with the phone.
Get in the back and shut up.
This is bad, Jake.
We lost the money.
You said my name.
I heard nothing.
Now listen, you can
have this van once we get back
to the lab.
- Lab?
- Yes.
We can shelter there from the
storm, and then you can take
the van. It's a rental.
Is it close?
Yes. And we have water and
fuel for the backup generator.
And you can have it all.
Just let us go, and I promise
our memories will
be very, very foggy.
You know, with the storm, it's
easy to be confused
by the storm.
Oh.
Here. Try this.
This will help.
It's a Bibo bioscience
brain health shot.
I'm a brand ambassador.
Bibo Bioscience Brain health
shot supports
cognitive function
and longevity.
This one's pineapple flavored.
Mm. It's delicious.
How are you feeling?
Better?
See, you got your voice back.
These things are amazing.
And they have no caffeine in it.
I'm already hyper
enough as it is.
This is gonna work.
Bobby. Bobby, the
numbers add up.
Our machine is gonna work.
We did it! Whoo!
Margie not the time.
Kind of got my hands full.
- Careful.
- I'm trying.
We finally got the
machine dialed in.
Last thing we want is to
destroy it in an accident.
You want to drive?
- Sorry.
- What does it do?
It's complicated.
You wouldn't understand.
Just because I look fabulous
does not mean I am not smart.
I'm the whole package, babe.
Okay. Sorry.
It takes barometric readings,
density, and velocity through
optical filters between 100 and
500 nanometers, then determines
the countermeasures to reverse
the supercell's mesocyclone.
You're right, I
don't understand.
I'm sorry.
Look, our doctoral thesis is
based on the theory that a
funnel cloud can be reversed,
essentially killing it.
Oh, like my phone.
Will you give it up already?
You guys can stop a tornado?
Um, theoretically.
Theoretically, we can do it
according to my calculations,
which are always right.
I told you we could do this.
Whoa!
You can stop a tornado?
Damn right we can.
- Theoretically.
- We can do it.
So I can get my money back.
All right, new plan.
You turn the van around, we're
going to go back and use your
contraption to
get my money back.
Well, it's not, uh, it's not
like a toaster that we bought
at Best Buy that you
can flip a switch on.
It has multiple components that
it needs and the calibration
- needs to be set.
- Alright fine, fine,
fine, fine, fine.
Where are the components?
Back at the lab.
The lab we're going
to take shelter in?
Yes. There's only one lab.
All right fine. New plan.
We're going to go to the lab.
You mean the original plan I
was executing in
the first place?
Just drive.
As the storm intensifies.
Residents are disregarding
warnings to take shelter and
taking to the streets.
Our field reporter, Alice
Grant is on the scene.
- Alice.
- That's right.
Alice Grant here on the scene,
witnessing first hand the gold
rush of Center Valley.
There's money in the air,
literally, and everyone is
scrambling around to get
their piece of the action.
Oh excuse me sir.
Sir, can you tell me and our
viewers at home what your name
is and where you're from?
Uh, my name is Larry Greentree.
I am from the West.
It's great to have you
here, Larry.
And can you tell us first hand
give us an eyewitness account
of what you are seeing?
Uh, yeah.
I came out of my apartment, and
I just saw this
- crazy storm.
- A cash storm.
That's right, folks,
he saw a cash storm.
And you're hearing it
here first on Action I News.
I'm Alice grant.
Why are you not
sheltering in place?
Uh, well, I'm going to go get
some of that money that's just
flying around out there.
That's right, folks.
He's willing to risk
life and limb throwing all
common sense out the window,
risking his life headed towards
a deadly tornado like
a complete moron.
Well, when you put it that
way, I'm not so sure
about this anymore.
Too late, Larry.
Our viewers at home are
waiting to see what happens.
So go for it.
Go ahead now, buddy.
Head towards the storm.
Back to you, Donna.
Well, there you have it.
Don't touch that dial.
We'll bring you all the action
and life and death
drama as it happens.
You can't get that on streaming.
See, there still is a
reason to have live TV.
Don't touch that dial.
Dial.
Who has a dial on
their TV anymore?
It's just a figure of speech.
Like, hold your horses,
keep your shirt on, hang tight.
Why aren't you out there
with the rest of them?
I'm rich.
Nah. Cheers me to a
lot of money in booze.
Even more in pot.
Don't do anything you'll regret.
Too late for that.
Keep an eye on that one.
I don't want her running off.
So your device can
kill a tornado?
Yeah.
Not only that, it'll reverse
the vortex and it'll drop all
the debris in a
centralized location.
So your money will
basically fall at your feet.
Bullshit.
How's that even possible?
Science, baby.
It's all true.
You know, those anti-vax people
have their heads up their butts.
Oh. I'm vaccinated.
Oh, so you're not
a total douchebag.
Congratulations.
Is she telling the truth?
About what?
The machine. Your machine.
Can it do what she
says it can do?
In theory.
Theory?
What the hell does that mean?
Yep. Here it is.
That's her.
Shit.
@SuperSash here in
front of this totally
amazing tornado.
Oh. Thanks, Broho342.
Okay, squad, remember
to like and share.
I'm going for a record
number of views.
- That bitch.
- This is like totally insane.
This big,
bank robber guy tackled me in a
field and I'm covered in grass,
and I'm headed to see my
bestie at PetaLovesYou.
- Over there.
- Oh, that's so nice.
Why didn't I see that?
Hmm. Right.
Oh my God. A million
likes! You rock fans!
This is the happiest
day of my life!
God, she's so lucky.
A million likes in
just a few minutes.
I gotta get a new phone.
You can use mine.
Really? Oh, you're so sweet.
Thank you.
What's your passcode?
You know what?
I knew this was bullshit.
I should just shoot the both
of you and take the van.
No, no, no, no. It's true, it's
true in theory,
Like, well,
theoretically it's true.
We just haven't tested it yet.
What?
It'll work. It will work.
It's, uh.
I just haven't had the
confidence to run the
experiment yet.
But it'll work.
Like we'll run the device.
It'll kill the twister.
And I swear your money's
going to drop to your feet.
For real?
Oh, yeah, 100%.
All right.
How can I help?
Alice Grant on the scene here
at the crossroads of County
Line and Millville Road.
Officer.
Yes. I'm on TV.
Thank you, officer, for taking
the time to talk with us about
your operation.
Are you blocking off the road
to protect our fellow citizens
from the dangerous bank
robbers who are still at large?
Or perhaps the deadly tornado
that is ripping
through the valley.
Well, I'm not really.
Oh, you're not at
liberty to say.
The freedom of the press
empowers me to know the truth,
empowers the public
to know the truth.
What are you trying to hide?
- Hide? I don't think you.
- Oh, I see.
You're trying to cover up
the real purpose
behind this roadblock.
As a representative of the
First Amendment, I'm here to
say that I demand to know why
the public, our viewers, demand
to know why you have
put up this roadblock.
I really didn't do I don't know.
Oh. You're trying to play
dumb now.
I want to speak with
your superior officer.
Give me your badge
and your name.
My name is Chuck.
Okay. Officer Chuck, I want
to know your badge number.
I don't have a badge.
What kind of a police
officer doesn't have a badge?
I'm not a police officer.
Then why am I talking to you?
Why are you talking to me?
Because you are, I thought.
What do you think is going to
happen to us when he finds out
you are full of shit?
Look, I was scrambling, okay?
I'm just buying us time.
Time? Oh.
You should have just given him
the van and be done with it.
We've seen his face
and we know his name.
I don't think keeping
us alive was an option.
Oh, but you think it's going to
be an option when he finds out
this machine has never been
tested in a real
world situation.
It can overheat.
It could short circuit.
It could blow up.
It could just not work.
Have you thought of any of that?
Don't be such a bummer.
It's gonna work.
Your numbers are correct.
And you've never failed at
anything you've ever done in
your whole life.
Because I'm too afraid to do
anything without double and
triple and quadruple
checking every little thing.
Exactly.
Besides, sometimes you got
to leap before you look.
That's a stupid saying.
It's positive thinking.
You should try it sometime.
It actually works.
You know what?
Maybe when you're baking
cookies or you're planting
vegetables, but not when you're
testing a cyclotron on a 150
mile hour funnel cloud while
homicidal bank robber is
pointing a gun at your head!
You good? You got that
out of your system?
Yes.
Now do what you know you can do,
and I will figure out the next
way to deflect this maniac.
All right. Deal?
Deal.
I don't like the plan.
Well, I didn't ask your opinion.
They saved our lives.
And Peta seems really cool.
She knows your name?
No, I know her name.
I did what you said.
No names.
Even though you said
it was okay earlier.
That was amongst us,
not other people.
Jesus. What else does she know?
Nothing. He just talked
about her friend
@SuperSash.
Now she got over a
million views on her feed.
Did you know that those girls
make over 100K a year
as brand ambassadors?
I think we could do that.
Between robbing banks.
The hell's the matter with you?
I wish you would
stop doing that.
And I wish you would
stick to the plan.
Yes, I get it.
She just seemed nice.
Nice will get you 20 years.
Got it.
What if we cut them
in on the take?
Give them Scully share.
You got over Scully
real quick, didn't you?
Scully was a dick.
Yes he was.
Cash cloud.
Money storm.
The green tornado.
It sounds like, it sounds
like the Green Hornet.
What about.
What about money Maelstrom?
Ooh. How about the
billowing bank?
Windfall?
Ooh.
Double meaning.
That's a good one.
Boomy Benjamins.
Raining riches.
Or pennies from heaven.
Dude, that's a song.
It was a movie two
starring Bing Crosby.
Bah boo boo boo boo boo.
Man,
this is some good stuff.
- Mhm.
- I'm in the wrong business.
Well, have I got an
opportunity for you.
Do you really have to point
that thing the whole time?
What if we hit a
pothole or something?
Then you're dead.
Oh.
What? No snarky comeback?
Nothing funny to say.
We don't belong here.
Well, neither do we.
I should be on my way
to the Caribbean by now.
Life's tough all over.
Well, I do have a nice herbal
rub that'll soothe your nerves.
Dan Valley Organics herbal
muscle rub with cayenne.
Great for sore
joints and stress.
Here. Try some.
I'm a brand ambassador.
[Country music playing]
All righty.
Greedy bastards.
Are you ready?
Yep. Let's go get ours
before it's all gone.
Woo hoo! Wait for me!
Pain in my ass!
[Laughter]
Oh jackpot.
I got fat stacks over here.
Greedy bastard.
You want to race, huh?
Let's race.
There it is.
The funnel. How close
do we have to get?
Huh?
Hey!
What are you doing?
Science shit.
Do you want to help?
I, uh.
How close does he
have to get to it?
You got it?
Yeah. The machine is set.
Right.
Keep going.
We estimate the
range at about 100m.
That's freaking close.
Yeah, that's science for you.
You aren't risking your own
life, you aren't doing it right.
Really? Is that true?
No.
I'm a scientist.
I'm not stupid.
Oh, there.
Pull up there. That's good
enough. Over there.
Uh, it has to face
the funnel cloud.
Yep. You got to do a 180
and face the back of the van
towards the storm.
You got it?
[Heavy winds]
For you viewers at home, I will
try to convey the experience I
am having right now.
Live from the edge of the storm.
Wow, she She is stupid.
Nah, man, she's the
fourth estate.
She's the reason why this
country is still a democracy.
Freedom of the press.
She's a hero.
She's a moron.
The wind is blowing so
hard I can barely stand.
This reminds me of the time.
That I did a special
report on jet engines.
Ha! What a bad hair day
that was split ends.
Was that a fish I just saw?
Alice?
Just a warning to our viewers.
Please do not try this at home.
Alice is a professional
meteorologist.
She has had extensive training
to bring this compelling story
to your living rooms.
Are you there? Alice?
I'm okay, I'm okay.
From what I can tell,
this is an Alaskan salmon.
Safe to say, it didn't fly.
Here from Alaska, most
likely from Barnacle Bob's
fish market back in town.
The missing head is
also a good indicator.
That's amazing, Alice.
Live TV.
It's incredible.
Don't miss a single
moment, viewers.
You can't afford to not
watch our broadcast.
Your lives may depend on it.
I'm not going anywhere.
I can't move.
[Intense drumming]
We need to set it on a flat
surface with the emitter facing
the funnel.
All right, got it.
Yo! Hey, Charlie, keep
your head in the game.
Come on.
Just only hold it from here.
Hey, y'all, it's your
BFF, @PetaLovesYou.
Sorry I was dark for a few
hours, but as you can see from
my BFF @SuperSasha's
livestream, stream, there is an
epic tornado here in
the Central Valley.
Right now I am in the van of
these fierce weather gals.
Hey there @EdVample
and @HeavyBeast23.
I love you too.
If you look over my shoulder,
those two sisters are setting
up a device that
can stop a tornado.
Yes, @YOLOPartyGirl,
My hair looks wack.
Okay. Rude.
Um. But whenever my hair is
being sketchy, I always use the
hypersonic USB portable
Rechargeable Titanium
hair straightener.
You can use code.
Peta loves you for 30%
off your first purchase.
And when you set it
down, don't drop it.
The accelerometers on
the inside are delicate.
This is only a prototype
for testing.
But it'll work, just the same.
Yeah, well, for your
sake, it'd better.
How can I help?
Yeah. See these two leads here?
I need you to connect them
to these power cables.
Can you please put that away?
I can't concentrate.
Yeah, well, that's too bad.
I know you two are
up to something.
I think this is bullshit.
Bullshit? Bullshit?
I've spent my entire life
planning this device.
It'll save hundreds,
no thousands of lives.
No longer will little girls
lose their parents to a rogue
supercell that randomly
chose my house.
Out of all the other houses in
the neighborhood, leaving me to
be raised by my creepy aunt
and fat uncle who smells like
pickles and sauerkraut.
So no, my bank robber friend.
This is not bullshit.
All right, I get it.
You're tragic.
Whether it works
or not, who knows?
You're connected.
You said my name.
What?
No I didn't.
Yes you did.
You yelled Charlie
to get my attention.
Oh, shit.
Now they know both our names.
This is getting
worse all the time.
Let's just take the van and
get the hell up out of here.
Screw the money.
Screw the money?
I didn't come all this
way to screw the money.
There's over $1
million right there.
Just a couple
football fields away.
If these chicks can do what
they say they can
do, it's all mine.
Ours.
Yeah. Of course,
of course ours.
Jesus. Everyone's paranoid.
The gizmo is humming.
Hashtag science gals are
making history,
while the hashtag bank
robbers are
holding us hostage.
If anyone could please tell the
cops that we are in trouble,
that would be solid.
Oh, @SoccerMom482,
@SoccerMom432, and @BigBalls69
I appreciate you.
Please like and share y'all.
I am shooting to be
@SuperSasha's number.
We are over 500 K.
Keep sharing y'all.
I need a hand over here.
But I'm streaming.
Ah, I love you too
@HungryHippo.
Damn it Peta, this is a matter
of life or death.
Okay Peta squad. We're about
to join the action.
It's gonna get intense.
What do you need, boss babe?
Seriously now?
My fans are getting
the cops for us.
Don't shame social.
Oh, yeah, good idea.
Okay, so I need you to hold the
doors open so they don't close
on the cables.
But when I give you the signal,
I want you to shut the doors.
Okay? You understand?
Yes, I understand.
You all understand, right?
You know, you better hide that
phone or you're
going to be screwed.
Hold you, Peta squad.
Okay, let me flip it.
So here's the deal.
Over there are the two
dickheads who robbed the bank
and are now holding us hostage.
Hashtag real danger.
Please share y'all.
I think we can get the
streams over big mil.
What are you doing?
She's holding the doors open so
they don't close on the cables.
Is that okay?
Yeah. How long is
that going to take?
Not long.
It's charging up.
Okay, guys, I need your help.
I need you to grab here and
here, and I need you to grab
here and here.
Okay. So when I crank up the
power, it's gonna vibrate.
It cannot move off target.
Otherwise the
vortex won't align.
So. All right, I got it.
And you?
I got it.
Okay.
Okay. When I give you the
signal, shut the doors.
What's the signal?
I'll say, shut the doors.
Right. Don't let go.
It's working.
I don't believe it.
Okay, hold it tight.
Hold still.
Shut the doors!
[Gunshots]
Damn it!
I knew I should
have taken the van.
I told you to take the van.
Now we're stuck with.
It's getting bigger.
Yeah, but it's not moving.
It's not going anywhere.
No it's not.
It's moving backwards.
Oh! Fat stack.
That's good.
Come on.
I got it here first. It's mine.
Ownership isn't final
until it's in the bag, Steve.
You greedy son of
a bitch, Rick!
I knew I
couldn't trust you.
Trust me.
You've been sleeping
with my ex-wife.
But you hate Brittney.
But that's
not the point.
Bro's before hoes.
We gotta go back.
The wind's too strong.
Then let go of the cash.
You let go!
Hell, no!
[Screaming]
See?
That's what I'm talking about.
They're trying to
steal our money.
It's over, man.
We're done.
It's not over until
I say it's over.
That's what I thought.
We got a ride.
Let's go.
Not long.
Okay. It's charging up now.
Is this going to work?
I don't care, as.
Long as it distracts those two.
Long enough for
Margie to get free.
Oh snap. Girls, we scheming.
How much it vibrates.
You cannot let it
move off target.
- Okay?
- Yeah, I got it.
I'm serious.
No matter how much it vibrates.
- Do not let go.
- I got it.
Okay.
All right.
When I give you the signal,
I need you to shut the doors.
What's the signal?
I'll say shut the doors.
Right.
Okay, gang, you're part of this.
Give me feedback and share.
Yes, 600 K.
Keep sharing, y'all.
Oh, my God, you gotta see this.
Oh. See that?
Whoa! It's working.
This is epic, y'all.
And @PetaLovesYou is the
only place to see this.
Whoo!
Hold still.
Shut the doors.
Where'd you go?
Oh, shut the door!
[Screaming and gunshots]
Are you okay?
Are you shot?
Are you, are you hurt?
Uh. I'm okay.
Oh, that was so real.
A million!
Oh, my God, a million!
This is the most I ever had.
Thank you so much.
This is epic, y'all.
And I have these two
fierce ladies to thank.
Oh my God.
Introduce yourself.
This is epic.
Yeah. Uh, I say your name.
Um, Margaret
Gallagher Owens.
Margie.
You are like a super
genius scientist.
Right, Marge?
Turn that shit off.
Oh, come on, this is epic.
You're famous.
Tell us who you are.
- Stop!
- Shit!
Oh, God.
[Slow music]
We have to get
her to a hospital.
We will, but it's
a half hour away.
I have to stabilize her first.
If we don't stop the bleeding,
she'll bleed out before we get
there and die.
Are you a doctor?
No. This is basic first aid.
You've never taken
a first aid class?
No, I'm not a doctor.
It's basic first aid.
Everyone should
know that in CPR.
Jeez, people are so stupid.
I'm not stupid.
No no no.
No no no no no no no no no.
Let go. You need to let go.
I need to stop the bleeding.
Oh my God.
[Screaming]
Relax. You have to lower
your blood pressure.
Relaxed.
Come here.
Press really hard. Push hard!
Oh, hey.
Hey, hey, look at me,
I got you, I got you.
No bullshit.
- Do what she says.
- okay?
Okay. Move your hand.
Let me do it.
I got you.
You're gonna be okay.
Your BFF is gonna patch you up,
and then we're gonna get you
right to a hospital, okay?
All right, all right.
It's gonna be okay.
I don't know, I
don't feel so good.
No. Baby girl, you are
going to be okay, I promise.
Okay. I'm ready.
Bobby, this is gonna hurt.
You can do this.
Okay. We need to lift
your shirt and get the
anti-coagulant on
as fast as we can.
- Okay.
- Got it.
Are you ready?
Okay. Okay.
Let go.
[Screaming]
It's okay, Bobby.
It's okay, Bobby.
Okay. You're good.
You're good.
That's it.
You're gonna be okay.
Am I gonna live?
Are you talking?
Yeah. Then you're gonna live.
I love you, Magpie.
Oh, that's so sweet.
I love you, too,
my nerdy granola.
I gotta post this.
Keep drinking.
You need to get your fluids up.
She's drinking, she's drinking.
God, she's like my grandmother.
You have no idea.
I heard that.
Here it is.
Check it out.
I recorded the whole thing.
Wow.
Oh, you're an animal.
Do you stream everything?
Almost everything.
The life of an influencer.
Constant content all
day, seven days a week.
Just chasing the algorithm.
I don't think you influencers
did anything except look pretty.
Oh. Thank you.
I try, but, I mean, there are
thousands of prettier girls
than me.
It's all about
personality. Y'all.
Y'all. A girl with California
style and southern charm is
what separates me from the rest.
That's smart.
Really?
Yeah. I'm really
sorry about earlier.
Bobby keeps telling me that
there's two kinds of smarts in
this world, and I only have one.
There's book smarts and world
smarts, and you need to work on
the world ones.
Well, I think today was a
pretty good step
in that direction.
I don't believe it.
Well, I thought it was pretty
clever outsmarting those guys.
No, no, our.
Our experiment.
It actually worked.
Look at the video.
I'm driving.
Show her the video.
Uh. Hold on.
Oh. See that?
Whoa! It's working.
This is epic, y'all.
It was actually working.
The vortex was actually
counteracting the funnel cloud.
See? We did it.
We killed the power.
There's no way to know for sure.
Don't you dare.
What?
Don't you dare.
After all we've been through
today, go back to that mousey.
No self-confidence.
Chicken shit from this morning.
Oh, chicken shit.
Yeah. Chicken shit.
I literally had to get shot in
order for the real you
to break out of your shell.
And then there was
no second guessing.
You jumped right into action.
Well, that's because I had
taken a first aid class.
Yeah, and you got an A plus in
it because you're Miss Perfect
at everything you do.
Just like our research.
Our experiment has been ready
for months now,
and you know it.
The experiment worked.
We did it!
Damn right, Magpie.
So that contraption of yours
can really stop a tornado?
Oh, actually, it's a supercell.
Commonly known as
a funnel cloud.
- Yes Peta you're correct.
It'll stop a storm from causing
damage and killing people.
Which is why we did
this in the first place.
That's right.
Okay. We need to get
you to a hospital.
I'm feeling better.
Oh, bullshit.
We are getting
you to a hospital.
Besides, those maniacs
are still out there.
Fine. But you have to promise
me that you'll go back.
Peta. You want to
be a lab assistant?
Oh, I'm in this for
the long haul.
You two are
my spirit animals.
Oh, I don't think you're
allowed to use
that term anymore.
Oh, my God, you're right.
I'm so sorry.
Please don't tell anyone I said
that that would get me canceled
for sure.
As influencers, we,
we literally have to be angels.
One mistake and you lose
followers and then sponsors.
Please, please, please don't
tell anyone I said that.
I'm really sorry.
Roll down the window.
Uh.
What do I do?
Do what he says.
Okay, I'm gonna put
my hand on the switch.
Don't shoot me.
Oh, good.
I got one.
Asshole.
Are you okay?
Listen up, you three.
You may have won round one.
I'll give you that.
But you now know I will not
hesitate to kill all of you.
What do you want?
I want my money.
And before you pulled the plug,
I think your little machine was
gonna get it for me.
It was supposed to
work on its own.
We figured you would get your
money, and then
we'd just be free.
It was an honest mistake.
We didn't mean anything by it.
Liar!
All of you are liars.
No, I'm the liar.
She's the blabbermouth and
she's the goody two shoes.
She's telling the truth.
See, I told you,
they're just scared.
Good.
They should be, because
you're going to do what I say.
And this time I'm
taking the van keys.
Now unlock it.
We have to get Bobby
to a hospital.
She looks fine to me.
No, those are just
triage bandages.
She needs real
medical attention.
Well, I'll let you go
after you get my money.
No, we have to get
her to a hospital.
Or I could just shoot her now.
No, wait.
Okay, okay.
Hold on.
Here's what we're gonna do.
You come.
Come with me.
She's gonna come with
me in the compact.
We'll follow you to the machine.
Let's go, let's go!
Damn it!
Come. Come on.
This is a bad idea.
No bank robbery is 20
years of possible parole.
Murder is life.
I didn't sign up for this.
You do what I say.
I can throw down too, Jake.
Yeah, Jake. Jake.
Jake! And my name is Charlie.
So, yeah, everyone knows
everyone and we're all screwed.
So let's just get our money.
Let them go.
Get the hell up out
of this shit town.
It's about time you grew a pair.
We'll do what you say.
Come on.
You're driving.
Keep drinking.
It's important.
I feel fine.
The funnel cloud is
getting bigger, I noticed.
Is that gonna make a difference?
The truth this time.
The truth.
The truth.
The truth is, is that science
is not an exact science.
There are so many factors in
the formation of a
cumulonimbus cloud.
No one can predict outcomes.
But we're going to try our
hardest to make sure it works.
Look, honestly, we just want to
give you what you want, forget
your names and make
it to a hospital.
I thought you said
you were fine.
As fine as I can be
under the circumstances.
[Country music]
Do I know you?
I asked you a.
I do,
I do know you.
You're @PeterLovesYou!
Son of a bitch.
Ah, I love you.
Why don't you have an accent?
I thought you had an accent.
Hey, y'all.
Ooh, I knew it.
Say something else.
I don't know what to say.
Oh, you little faker.
It's just my brand.
@PetaLovesYou is my social.
Where all my fans can,
like, follow and share.
Oh, my God, that's awesome.
So it's all bullshit.
Too funny.
Not entirely.
I mean, my mom is from Atlanta.
I just copy the way that she
spoke when I was growing up.
What about your mama?
Does she know that you're
a fucking murderer?
Hey! Wait up!
Uh, it was just supposed
to be a quick hold up.
All right?
No hostages.
No. You know, shooting
none of that bullshit.
Hmm. Well, you fooled me.
I'm not gonna let
Jake hurt anyone.
Bobby has a bullet in her gut.
I'm sorry about that.
I promise you, you will be set
free once Jake gets his money.
I swear on my mother's grave.
Oh.
You lost your mama, too.
That must be hard.
Yeah.
You lost your mother?
Yup.
Yeah.
I really miss her.
That's why I really got to go
home to make sure I'm there for
my daddy.
I'm all he has left.
I'm really important to him,
and he's really important to me.
I really got to get
home to my daddy.
You know,
we are just two peas
in a pod, after all.
Going down the road of life,
we got to stick together.
You and I.
You know what I mean, sugar?
I guess.
Yeah.
What can we do, y'all?
Dreamwork.
Teamwork makes the dream
work, right?
You get your money, we get
the heck out of here, right?
What's next?
We need to target
the funnel cloud.
So the first step is
to load up the machine.
Yeah, sounds like a plan.
Seriously?
It's not that heavy.
You can do it yourself.
All right, Charlie,
you'll drive here.
You getting back?
No problemo, senor.
She always have an accent?
Isn't that cool?
She's. Peta Loves You.
The southern belle of
California fashion.
- What?
- She's famous.
For what?
For being famous.
I'm starting to think you don't
understand what's at
stake here.
Don't you threaten me.
Oh.
[Gunshot]
New plan.
You drive.
What about Charlie?
What about your accent?
That's what I thought.
Let's go.
We'll be right back with our
reporter in the field as soon
as they reconnect the uplink.
Meanwhile, I've just gotten
confirmation of two more bodies
found near the
Westmont junction.
They had several bills from the
First National Bank heist on
their persons.
They are believed to be fortune
hunters like the rest, bringing
the current death toll to 12.
We once again remind our
viewers that these are deadly
conditions, and you should take
shelter in a basement or in a
room near the center
of your homes.
[Dark orchestra music]
What are you doing?
I got to line it
up with the cloud.
Are we close enough?
Just let her do her job.
Yeah, okay. Alright fine.
If this doesn't work.
You're all dead.
Just chill.
We'll do it.
[Music continues]
Help me.
I need you to fix the door open.
Otherwise the wind's
going to blow it closed.
Well, you're not going to
take it out of the van.
No, it needs to be anchored to
something heavy like the van.
So you lied to me
about that too?
I didn't.
I didn't lie.
Do you want your money or not?
Of course I do.
Okay, then.
You strap down the door and
let me run my experiment.
I set the reactor at 100% last
time. It pulled 60 amps
100%? That's more
than we talked about.
I know I was hoping it would
blow those dickheads up, but I
didn't think it
would actually work.
What do you know about that?
100. It is.
The door is fastened.
Get out of the way!
[Machine humming]
- It's working!
- It really is!
[Laughter]
Oh, shit.
[Machine peeping]
It's still within
acceptable margins.
What's the core velocity?
Uh, 38 K.
- And the amperage?
- Holding at 60.
It's plateauing.
Hey it stopped working!
No, no, no, just
give it a second.
It needs to adjust.
Bullshit.
You lied to me before,
and you're doing it again.
No, it's supposed to work.
We just need to get closer.
Closer? How stupid
do you think I am?
That's it.
I'm done.
[Gunshot]
What?
[Gunshots]
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
You got him. You got him.
You got him.
I didn't want this.
I'm sorry.
- I didn't want this.
- It's okay.
I didn't want this.
You believe me, right?
Y'all know that I believe
you sugar.
It's not working.
We gotta get out of here.
- Wait.
- What?
Bobby needs a hospital.
We gotta go.
We need to get
closer to the funnel.
The energy is dissipating.
Before it's making contact.
We have to get closer.
Are you crazy?
[Together]
No.
We can do this. Trust me.
Trust us.
Can I live stream it?
Hey, y'all.
@PetaLovesYou here live as
history is being made.
I'm here with the two fiercest
BFFs a southern girl could ask
for as they set off
to make history.
Drive Peta!
Sorry, y'all.
I got a job to do.
Okay, right now I am driving
backwards into a
cumulonimbus cloud.
That's the technical term
for a tornado, y'all.
- Focus Peta.
- I can multitask.
So we got this machine right?
Wait, does the
machine have a name?
No! Keep driving!
We gotta work on that.
Hey, fans, why don't we hold a
contest to see who can come up
with the best name?
Damn it! Peta focus.
Okay, okay.
Sorry. Y'all here's just gonna
have to watch without
my commentary.
A little closer.
Got it.
Don't overdo it.
I got this.
Slow down!
I got it.
A little.
Stop!
That should do it.
[Upbeat orchestra music]
[Machine beeping]
The reactor's going critical.
It'll hold.
We gotta turn it off.
It'll hold.
Then adjust the port side.
- That should help.
- Right.
[Explosion]
[Laughter]
Ha ha!
You have expenses, right?
Girl's gotta eat.
Ow ow.
Girl's gotta get to a hospital.
Yeah.
Just moments ago, our cameraman
shot these images of scientists
in a van using a miraculous new
machine to destroy the tornado,
saving countless lives.
That's amazing, Alice.
What's the mood of
the people on the streets?
It's like the whole town
just won the lottery.
It's raining money and the
citizens are just
giddy with joy.
Ah!
Ah ha ha ha!
I'm rich, I'm rich,
I'm rich, I'm rich.
Hey, hey.
You okay there, TV lady?
Ah.
Yeah, I am okay.
So what's your opinion
about the events from today?
The events from today?
Have you noticed the
events from today?
Because you don't talk much
about the events from yesterday
or ten decades ago, or the
1919 Black Sox scandal or the
Lindbergh baby?
No, it's all this
24 hour news cycle.
What do you think about that?
That's exactly what I thought.
Thank you, Alice. One
more question.
What's the name of
this miracle machine?
I don't know, but I
will certainly find out.
Hey. Oh, hey.
Hey, you.
You want to be on TV?
Come here. Hey, get back here!
There you have it, folks.
We'll be right back after this
brief commercial announcement.
How about calling it,
calling it, "Wind Thrasher?"
No, no, no. Funnel fixer.
Storm killer.
Storm breaker. Storm breaker.
That's it.
That's got a nice
ring to it.
Because,
it's copyrighted by one of
those mega corporations.
No, no, no, it's a Norse legend.
No, I'm pretty sure
it's copyrighted.
And if you use it,
you'll get sued.
Well, we better not do that.
[Upbeat country music]
I was just going to say that.
Take 30, flirty and thriving.
I was literally gonna say that.
Take 30, flirty and thriving.
[Laughter]
I got my pinky.
You better get rid of that
phone
or those guys are gonna
screw you.
You better hide that phone or
those guys are gonna screw you.
Why do I keep
saying it like that?
You better hide the
phone from the guys or.
[Laughter]
Behind me.
[Laughter]
I'll let you go after.
[Laughter]
Am I saying it wrong still?
Graham.
I wasn't even looking at you.
This is your problem
now.
Or you're screwed. No.
Or you're screwed.
It just sounds like I'm horny.
Okay.
Alright. I'm so sorry.
I got it now.
69. Ha ha ha.
[laughter]
Sex.
[Shouting and laughing]
Is this good, Dan?
Love it.
Okay.
I'm gonna fly out of
here.
Nifty 50.
Nobody told me I had to go. 46.
[Gibberish and laughter]
[Laughter]
Oh my God.
I'm so sorry.
[Laughter]
Wow. She swears.
All right, redo that, redo that.
Sorry.
You're hanging
there for a while.
I was like.
Can I bark at Jake?
No.
[Barks]
21 fun.
[Laughter]
Margarita, everybody.