Cat a Wabb (2015) Movie Script

"W r u?"
"Planet Earth."
"OTW to an internship interview."
"Sati Studio?"
"I hate you."
W hyqfl
"You'll get to hang outwith Mor."
"Mor who?"
"An AD. Leave him alone, he's mine."
To Nualjan 32.
"It's an internship,
not a dating service."
Off duty?
Over there!
I'm not a taxi.
Do I look like a motorcycle taxi?
It's your vest, dumb-ass!
I told you to stop wearing it!
Why are you upset?
I'm embarrassed!
Are you? I'm not!
Nualjan 32.
Your sword, Bro.
Cut! Cut!
Damn it!
"Who's this girl?"
Who let you wander into the set?!
"She's the girl who"
has an interview with you today.
I told you to sit and wait.
I'm sorry.
Meet Mor, the assistant director.
Well, you can interview her later.
I'll leave her with you.
Is there anything I can do
in the meantime?
Grab that chair.
Right away.
Here it is.
Now put it there behind the camera.
Sit on it, make sure it stays there.
Behind the camera.
All right, ready? Aom, you're okay?
Clear the frame!
Let's get this done or we'll miss lunch!
Everything okay? Clear the set please!
Lighting, make sure Yatsu's bald patch
doesn't block the light.
Move it a little.
Yatsu, when you fight,
you fight hard, but don't hit him.
Your brain must not...
I'll do exactly.
You're good QUY-
You an intern?
On my mark, we're rolling!
Wait, we're not ready here!
Move it!
I mean, move the trees.
Hey, do as he says.
"Something's still blocking the frame!"
Have you moved?
I've moved it!
Don't mess with me, come and look!
What now?
Just look into the viewfinder.
What is it?
There's nothing.
It's still hanging in the frame!
Ah, I See. I'll fix it.
Better now.
We're cool now.
Yes we are.
I told you.
But it's still there.
You want more?
Just a little bit more.
Take out the bang.
That's good, very good! Yes!
We're clear now, great!
I knew it!
This new shampoo makes my hair fall.
Camera locked!
Silence! We're rolling!
Where's the director?
Stop it!
Don't you know how to slurp?
Slurp it long and hard.
I'll show you.
That was disgusting.
Now try, slurp it hard.
Dode, sir.
- Huh?
- We're all set.
You want to win an award
from the slurping scene?
Slurping requires deep emotion!
Keep practicing.
Stand by, Dode is on his way.
You want to train with an AD?
Introduce yourself.
Good afternoon, my name is
lsrawaree Yaopongkul.
I'm studying Mass Comm at...
Like the clinic?
No, like my parents.
So why are you called Mayo?
My mom's called May, my dad's Yo.
Got a boyfriend?
Good. I flunk every intern
who has a boyfriend.
In 3O seconds, tell me one of
your outstanding qualities.
Five seconds gone.
Ten seconds.
I can't think of any good points,
but I have lots of bad ones.
But I believe that you will
draw out my hidden potential
and I'll become a valuable asset
to the company, seriously.
You have my word.
Okay, let's do it that way.
Same location tomorrow.
Stupid me!
Thank you.
We're done here.
The interview is finished.
And do I...
You can go.
We start early tomorrow.
Happy Slurping. It's Irresistible.
New Arna!
Why is he standing up?
Dode-san, well done.
You're a talented
and meteorite director.
He means "meticulous".
I want a new presenter.
Who do you want?
A Japanese model?
Neko means cat in Japanese.
Replacing a model with a cat,
that's a cakewalk!
No problem. We'll use CG,
it'll be very realistic.
No CG.
I want a real cat!
A real cat...
Dode, I used to have a cat.
He couldn't even remember his name.
Never came when I called.
"Now we have to make a cat"
hold chopsticks and slurp noodles?
Who could direct cats?
You can.
I think it's time.
Time for what?
Don't you want to be a director?
I'm sorry,
I'm a such a meteorite director!
That's cool.
But hey,
my first job is to direct cats?
You're giving me shit.
No shit, what's so hard
directing cats, huh?
Ang Lee directed a tiger in a boat!
That was CG.
"Show me what you got."
If you pull it off I'll promote you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Watch out!
Did we hit her?
I'm so sorry.
Be careful when you cross the road.
Foythong, thank him.
"Don't let him come near me!!"
No claws, Foythong.
Sorry again.
You have cat-phobia?
Don't psycho-analyze me.
I get it now...
Hey that's another cat!
Goddamnit! It's not funny!
Let's go.
Can you drive?
"Another one!"
Not again!
It's confirmed!
"You want to get fired?"
Another one!
It's not funny.
Peace out!
I said "sit!". Again.
Roll over.
What're you doing?
Hello. Talking to the cats.
"This app can translate"
whatever you say into cat-speak.
And they'll understand us?
Let me try.
How do I do it?
Press the red thing.
Press and speak...
Stand up.
Try again.
Have you fed them?
I forgot!
where's your trainee badge?
Why don't you wear it?
I forgot.
And you made a mess.
Give it to me.
"Wear it all the time!"
Clean up.
"My heart skips a beat,
what does it mean?"
"What's wrong with me?"
"Boys can induce daydreams
and delusion."
"This can cure your mental condition,
take some."
What a...
"Friend Request Sent"
Hi everyone.
"Hi Dode."
Good afternoon.
Why skype?
I don't know.
Let's start.
Okay, I've looked up
some Japanese references.
I think we should
go for the Ronin style.
It's cutey-spicy, awesome-possum.
And pussy-worthy fluffy.
Susie, just one thing.
Color scheme or styling?
Pussy-worthy fluffy?
I see, pussy means a cat.
Mor, have you come up with
a way to work with cats?
I'm still thinking.
I told you to use my mockup,
problem solved!
Show him your awesome mockup.
I'll show you.
How's that?
go fart yourself.
You guys are a bunch of clowns!
Cherry, show Dode the cats in your list.
The first one is Sam, the frown cat.
Where will you get him from?
He's in Russia.
Next is Basket Cat, cute and cuddly.
He's in Thailand?
"And the next one..."
Grumpy Cat.
I have a strong feeling that
this one is perfect for us.
"Grumpy Cat?"
His fee is very, very reasonable.
In Thai baht, about...
...30 million.
Are you mental?
Is that even remotely reasonable?
You've been working here for years.
"We should stop paying you for"
spouting nonsense like that.
"Go back and become a trainee"
for another year, how's that?
Don't cry!
If you want to cry, go cry in your pen.
Calm down.
Gibberish! You're a big fat babbler!
Dode is strict.
He has flunked many interns.
The cat should get your tongue!
Hi, Fiat.
Traffic's horrible today.
What happened to you hair?
New style?
It's my summer look.
Is it his morn or his dad this time?
Neither. Dode is grilling him.
Why do you have to be
so hard on him huh?
You know he's a brainless idiot,
but he works hard.
I won't put up with this anymore!
You always insult me!
Two options: Back to your pen,
or go live in the jungle.
Where you belong.
I'm outta here.
Read my lips:
Cherry! Who'll find the cats for us?!
He's as fat as a pregnant cow,
he should watch his weight.
Let's go.
Wait! Sit down!
"Forget about the oats for now."
We have to shoot
a TV commercial first.
"The Gymnast"
Why don't you jump?
I see.
Go for it!
What now?
I see.
Morier, Confident in Every Situation
Cut! That's great!
Good job everyone.
It's just a spot for sanitary pads,
not a Greek tragedy.
Hurry up!
For you.
- "Fiat!"
- What?
Look at the monitor,
the set is so dark!
This is a TV spot, not a horror film.
Take off you sunglasses.
Asshole, I'm going blind
from the light!
Next is a close-up shot.
I want you to cry one more time.
I can't.
I've already cried all my tears.
Then picture this...
You're in grade-10,
you got an F in every subject.
I'm top of the class.
Okay, you just graduated,
but no guys wanted to date you.
Wasn't that tragic?
I've got a lot of guys.
I'm not easy, but I'm not that hard.
Then imagine your whole family
traveling in a van.
Your morn, dad, grandparents, aunts
and uncles, all in the same van.
Then the van crashed.
Everyone was killed.
Only you survived.
Your parents died but you lived,
how's that?
"Great! Your whole family was killed!"
Dode is brilliant.
"Only you survived."
She's tearing up.
Brilliant? Look, who wouldn't cry?
You should've died with them.
But you lived, only you!
Your father, your mother,
everyone was dead.
Why were you still alive?
Aren't you ashamed?
"Camera ready? We're rolling!"
Stand by!
"Wait a sec. Mor,"
the light misses the marking.
Get someone to stand there.
Tuk, you can take a break.
- "Yes."
- Go check it.
- Mayo!
- "Yes."
- Go stand at the marking.
- Yes.
Tilt your neck, just a tiny little.
Now your face,
look up and stay still.
Tor, move the 5K to the back.
To the back.
And move the 18K to the front.
18K to the front.
Are you okay?
Why're you smiling?
Are you a pothead?
A little to the left... no, too much.
I'm here.
I told you to go check it.
"You still don't get it?"
I said left, not right.
Don't you know left from right?
Right, just a tiny bit.
This is it! Don't move.
Look at the focus?
Do you know what a focus is?
I do.
"The film company."
Mor, enough. She's blushing.
You're a piece of work.
You already did her, right?
- "You did it?"
- The marking?
The trainee.
What're you talking about?
You're a scorer, I knew it!
Score what?
Please move,
I'm running out of tears again.
This is cute, the cats are so good.
Don't look so close,
it's bad for your eyes.
Mor, this is cool.
These cats can walk on two legs,
get them!
C'mon, they're computer-generated cats.
Actually they're dogs with cat heads.
So obvious, I thought you knew.
I knew, I mean I know.
Have you got any cats now?
Not yet.
Not yet?
Stay focused.
The female and the feline
will make you fall.
What's he?
He's the owner.
I know that, but what's wrong with him?
He was upset!
Mayo, you take care of the casting.
Cherry quit.
His dad actually died.
Get to it.
Make him sit.
What breed?
A Sphynx doesn't have hair, does it?
It grows in the rainy season.
It's cat's hair, not grass.
The owner said so.
He's biting!
What's its name?
Mali White.
- What's she like?
- Catty.
- What?
- Catty.
A catty cat?
Whoa! He's our leading man.
This one's a boy or a girl?
She's a pussy.
I want her sexy, like, irresistible.
A cat?
Of course.
Are you sure it's not a tiger?
You want it big.
He's really big.
Can he stand on two legs?
Looks good.
Go easy!
This one's cool.
"Can be the leading."
He wants a break.
The heart pattern is unique.
Heart pattern? He's too small.
But his heart is big.
This one's got character.
He can play the villain,
baring fangs and claws.
He's missing teeth.
His teeth.
A gap-toothed cat.
That's right.
This one has the right size.
But Mayo, it's a dog.
No more cats.
Besides, dogs are cat's friends.
Is it a hyena or what?
A ridgeback.
We can't use him!
Do we have to pitch our cats
at his house?
Do you expect him to come to
your house?
Wow, sumo-wrestling in the rain!
I see it.
Please get changed
before meeting the president.
Please get changed
before meeting the president.
We have to change,
but where's the clothes?
Here. It's their tradition,
didn't you see?
Are we really putting this on?
When in Rome, do as the Romans, c'mon!
"Is this job so important that"
we have to change into this?
It's money, man!
The yen is the hottest currency.
You go first.
Don't be shy, just do it.
You have nothing to hide.
Yours is so tiny
it's almost invisible anyway.
It's not that.
But will this thing cover mine?
Close the door.
I don't want the maid to see me naked.
Mor, what're you waiting for?
For real?
"They didn't bow back."
What 3...!
She must have already seen my ass!
She's Japanese,
she's not easily shocked!
You sure?
It's rude to hide yourself,
come out here.
Sawasdee ka, I'm Thai by the way.
See, she's Thai!
This way please.
We'll follow you.
All right.
She's Thai!
Is this the right costume?
Of course!
They look like hooligans.
Look, all of them have tattoos
all over their bodies.
Except one.
This dumb-looking boy.
Holding a cat, he gets on my nerves.
That boy... me.
I was saying that the boy
would grow up respectable.
He looks healthy,
like he's got enough protein...
He's not wearing a loincloth!
He's the president.
You won't need air-con
wearing that cloth.
Yes, very relaxing.
That picture was taken at an onsen.
"Hun Sen is in it!"
What is it?
Hot spring bath.
Onsen is...
a group business, I mean group activity.
Group activities are good.
All the men you see in there...
They're yakuza!
Now you know Japanese.
Get it?
"I do, sir."
We do.
Is that the Northeastern dialect?
Mix and match.
He doesn't like any of them.
Bring Johnny.
Yes, sir.
What now?
A cat!
Bring him here!
Little Johnny...
So beautiful and polite.
Johnny is my son.
Stand up, Johnny.
Lie still, Johnny.
Come back here, Johnny.
Johnny is probably scared.
He doesn't like strangers.
So, Johnny is the presenter.
He wants Johnny to be the presenter.
He has a cat and he didn't tell us.
I'll send him to you.
Tomorrow, Johnny bring to you.
Crappy translation.
He's looking at me.
It's okay, he's not going to attack you.
Should I be afraid of the cat
or the yakuza?
This one will be the villain.
Is he Taro?
And this one's Charlie,
it'll play the geisha.
What about the leading man?
Our management is so hard-working.
Catch me if you can!
No one can catch that!
Be a sport, man!
Susie, what about the geisha dress?
Dode, someone from
Mr. Kobayashi's company is here.
If he's got legs,
tell him to come in here.
All right.
He's got legs of course.
I'm here to deliver Johnny.
How do you know my name's Aiya?
Aiya, right...
She's not a cat.
May I hold him?
So heavy!
Maybe he's a bear.
Mor, take the cat to take photos.
Please take care of him.
Rest assured.
Mayo, let's go.
Inseparable, you two?
Don't play morn and dad in the studio!
Your baby will look like a cat!
Playing ping-pong? Kawaiidesu.
What did you say?
You look Thai,
but you've got an American name.
How do you know he's not American?
Look, amber eyes, rust-colored hair.
Shimmering whiskers like copper wires.
They call it Supaluck -
or the Burmese cat.
You're an expert,
so you take care of him.
Why do you look so moody?
C'mon, smile.
Be careful, his owner is a yakuza.
For real?
- Go easy, or they'll come and cut off our fingers.
"Please forgive me, Master Johnny."
He's a yakuza too.
Don't be angry, I'm sorry.
Please don't cut off my finger.
No! No!
I thought it was a towel.
Give you a heart attack.
"Don't forget to bring"
the cat files tomorrow."
"Thank you for accepting!"
"A girl dumped you,"
it's not the end of the world!"
"Relationship status: Single"
May my romance remain as sweet
as this watermelon.
"Don't forget, we need a cat trainer."
"I'm on it."
"Sorry, it was the cat."
You read my mind.
Where are you going?
Having fun during office hours?
I knew you wouldn't take it seriously.
But I got it, I got it!
Where is it?
Here it is!
- "Hello."
- Hi.
Mr Prakit, right?
I'd like you to train an animal.
Whatever you want it to do,
I can help you.
I want it to stand on two legs.
Not a problem.
Actually, I want to train it
to perform a sword fight.
A piece of cake.
But how old is the monkey?
It's not a monkey.
It's a cat.
Standing on two legs
and waving a sword?
Are you on drugs? Get lost!
He's not a trainer?
He is, but he only trains monkeys.
You should take a course.
We're screwed.
Help Mor, will you?
Johnny, stand up!
You're not co-operating at all.
Stand up!
This model is great.
Johnny! Damn it! Is it broken?
Let's cook a cat stew!
Johnny the Samurai, tada!
Move, I'll take his pictures.
Stand by, boy.
Come back Johnny!
Get him! Get him!
A cat!
Johnny! Come here! Johnny!
What a minx.
"Hi everyone,
I've been reading your stories."
"Let me share mine with you."
"Here goes my story..."
"I'm a trainee and
I have a crush on my mentor."
"Trainee having a crush on mentor:
What to do?"
"Focus on your work,
you can find a boyfriend later"
"(PS. I'm 50 and still a virgin)."
"Are you there to train
or to seduce boys, huh?"
"I feel sorry for your university."
That's harsh.
"I know how you feel.
If it's true love, go for it."
"Thanks a lot!
But I'm afraid I'm not his type."
"I'm a love guru,
feel free to consult me any time."
"Here's my chat name:"
"Find out what kind of women he likes."
Stop right there!
This isn't Paris Fashion Week!
You've missed the marking!
- Mor.
- Yes.
We're just marking the shots,
why does she dress up like a model?
- "Mor."
- Yes.
Tell her.
"Let's do it this way."
Your call.
Is that in the script?
Don't take it off, just jump.
"You're playing a peasant girl,"
you have to get dirty.
Get into the mud, jump!
Bring her the manure sack.
Faster! I pay you to work fast!
Pe, you come back here.
Hold it with the label in front.
Now hold it in one hand, and dance.
- "Dance?"
- Of course.
Okay, dance!
Dance like you're enjoying country music.
Why the long face?
I'd make that face.
You're very happy, smile!
Good! Keep going!
I didn't tell you to fall!
She has a birthmark.
No, it's mud.
You handsome devil! Mor.
"Pack up."
C'mon, we're losing the light.
Losing the light? I'm getting sunburned!
You're funny.
Let's go.
Let her do it.
You said you didn't mind hard work.
You're so mean.
You looked lovely the way you were.
"When will you get your ass in here?"
We're hot.
Just turn on the air-con.
Hurry UP-
Why didn't you close it?
Shit! Mor! Son of a bitch!
How can we make them stand?
"I've tried everything."
They don't care about any of this.
- Really...
- Hello everybody!
So cute!
The costumes are okay?
This is Mor's shirt.
Let's get to work.
Johnny, stand up.
Mor, you're still relying on toys?
You're such a newbie.
"Then please enlighten rne"
how to command these creatures?
Just watch.
stay still.
Very good.
Johnny, look at me. Good job.
Taro, walk! Good boy!
lie there and don't move.
What's so hard directing cats?
We're shooting soon. Mor, remember.
Your beanie?
Don't be ridiculous. Stay focused.
Who's messing with me?
I'm pushing.
- Dode.
- What?
The other one.
Stay focused.
Talking back, huh?
How did Dode do it?
Do what?
With the cats.
Let's call it a day.
So... Are you tired?
I know you're frustrated.
Stick it out, okay?
Right, Johnny?
We're in the same boat.
We have to work together.
Do it for me.
"You're always sitting,"
but you have to stand up in this film.
Have you ever been in love?
How do cats confess their love?
Are pussycats so difficult
to understand?
What I'm asking is...
When you want to know something
and you ask her...
will she give you a straight answer?
She won't?
She won't
because you're acting like a cool cat?
You like this?
How can you eat this?
What's wrong?
Johnny! I haven't finished! Johnny!
It's you.
Hop on, I'll give you a lift.
It's okay.
No, it's not.
"It's not safe for a girl"
to go home alone at night.
I'll be going then.
Brothers and sisters
who pay heed to Lord Buddha's dharma...
Dharma radio? Really?
It calms me.
In our line of work,
the mind gets clouded.
Where's your home?
In the province.
Teasing me?
No, I wasn't.
Where should I drop you off tonight?
I live on the opposite side of town,
I can't drive you now.
I'm sorry,
it's too far.
Well... Wait, Mayo!
It's okay, I can take care of myself.
I know you can.
But why didn't you close the door?
Close it, please.
Wash my shirt too.
"Today he offered me a ride."
"But he kicked me out midway."
"I can't read him!"
"Well, he's playing hard to get."
"He wants to confuse you."
"But he's clearly interested."
"Interested in me?"
We're good here, so let's call it a day.
"Are you free this evening?"
Dinner with me?"
"Got a wrong GUY?"
"Oops. Wrong guy indeed."
"Have you finished the shooting board?"
"I'll finish it today."
"Tell your boyfriend,
no dinner until work's done."
"LOL! No boyfriend!"
Miss Aiya,
this cat has an auspicious aura.
It's fated to become a superstar.
Excuse me,
will you let me read your palm?
Well, our stars are perfectly aligned!
Excuse me...
You're a very lucky woman.
It's your destiny
to have a Thai husband.
Do you believe in the stars?
Fiat, why don't you go home?
Traffic's bad at this hour.
Fiat, your wife is waiting.
Your baby is crying! Go!
I have to go.
You're running up the electricity bill
staying this late.
I'm almost done here.
Consider this a gift
for a hard-working trainee.
I'll serenade you with a love song.
Don't get sentimental, okay?
I'm a chicken, they keep me in a coop
I do nothing, I just eat and poop
Cluck-cluck-cluck, cluck-cluck-cluck
How sweet...
You don't dig it?
You're so not a hipster.
Okay, let's try another song.
This one is for Mayo.
"I can't read the sign,"
what is the meaning in your mind
I see you every day
But I'm not sure what to say
I don't know what to do
I watch you every night and day
What is it your eyes are telling me?
Are you feeling the same way as I do?
Are you feeling it?
I don't want to guess,
maybe it's just me
Are you feeling it too?
Are you?
Because I'm falling in love with you
Are you feeling it too?
Are you, Mayo?
Are you doing this thing right?
No. Move this one to the back.
Are you doing it right?
Are you messing up our shooting board?
Are you, Mayo?
Get your things, I'll give you a lift.
Hurry up or I'll change my mind.
C'mon push it!
I can't.
What? It's a toy car
and you can't push it!
Damn it, parking break.
Let's lift it.
We can't even push it.
I'll get another ride.
Much cooler than this one.
To Prachachuen.
She'll tell you the direction.
Go on.
"No need to do this for me."
Don't rob him.
"Text me the cab's license number."
"8251... Are you worried about me?"
"No, for the lottery number."
We're not here for fun,
take the pictures.
I am!
Mor, what do you think it looks like?
Naughty! They're lotuses!
"Yes, of course."
You're the naughty one!
And that one?
Lotuses that reach above the water
for the light of dharma.
Why's that?
Just take the pictures!
If they're out of focus, I'll flunk you.
You can't touch it!
You're here to scout the location,
not to spy on me.
"I said don't touch!"
I wasn't going to!
They'll fine us!
Now you're super-cute,
with the whiskers!
Cute your ass! Look!
I look like a zombie cat!
"How many fingers?"
- Two.
- "Correct!"
A cat can see in the dark right?
My turn.
Did you really spin it?
Of course.
"You just did this! Cheat!"
Half a turn.
Whatever. Truth or Dare.
I dare you to go to that table
and eat their food.
- Which one?
- That one.
"That one?"
- Yes.
- "Really?"
Of course,
if you don't do it...
I'll go.
Ask the guy in glasses.
A man's coming!
My friends dare me to eat your food.
Please sit down, young man.
So, I'll dig in.
Not so fast.
Now I can eat?
Thank you!
I know you enjoyed it!
Your turn.
That's it! Mayo!
- What?
- What do I have to say?
Truth or Dare.
"Then you'll have to tell us the truth,"
nothing but the truth.
Which guy in the office
do you have a crush on?
Just answer me.
Shut up! I didn't ask you!
Mayo, which guy?
I have a crush on...
Dode'S 93V-
Wrong answer!
I demand that you change the question.
Mor, do it.
So eager, huh?
What's the rule again?
She can't wash her face
until tomorrow evening.
Too late!
Give her the whiskers!
Not so hard.
Trust me.
Don't move!
Make it blacker!
Another side!
They're having fun, eh?
So slow!
Don't rush! This is art!
"Are you done?"
It's good now.
Let me see.
So unfair!
Look what you did to me!
Well, she's my favorite student.
If he flunks you, come to me
for your grade, okay?
Pai, you can't touch this one.
Anyway, a rule's a rule.
Pour her a shot.
Bottoms up.
"Wait, this is outrageous."
We're shooting tomorrow!
A rule's a rule.
A toast to your liver.
How's it?
"She's laughing."
Drink some water.
That's whisky, damn it!
Are you okay?
I have to take a piss.
Watch your language.
"I'll go for number one."
You want a company?
Don't wash your face!
It's my masterpiece!
Until tomorrow evening.
She's my apprentice, all right?
What's this shit you drew on my eye?
I may look serious,
but I'm just the opposite.
"My nickname is..."
Bangkok Hello Kitty.
"Son of a bitch!"
That's so lame!
"He asked me out to dinner with him."
"The place's so posh!"
"My analysis is that
he has a feeling for you."
"This is the perfect moment
to confess."
"Are you sure?"
What're you doing?
With Who?
If you don't tell me, I'll flunk you.
I'll go take a piss.
How have you been?
who's this?
An intern.
Is this a shirt I bought you?
You're still wearing it.
The threads are all frayed.
Nott, this is Mor.
"Your friend?"
The one that looks gay?
I gotta go.
Let's go.
- (What's wrong?)
- Fill it up!
(How can I know?!)
We're shooting tomorrow!
I can handle this!
"Bad timing. He ran into his ex,"
now he seems crushed."
"This is perfect. When a man's weak,
what he needs is love."
"Go for the kill!"
Good evening everyone.
Tonight I'd like to sing this song
for a woman.
She's such a lovely woman,
I feel so good when I'm with her.
"Mor, I love you."
But now...
She's left me.
"I want to sing this song"
because she used to like it so much.
Please allow me.
"I can't read the sign,"
what is the meaning in your mind
I see you every day,
but I don't know what to say
I'm not sure what to do,
I keep on looking at you.
Are you okay?
"Mor, I love you."
Wait, Mayo.
What's wrong with that idiot
and that idiot?
Now who's gonna DEV?
Not me, I'm broke.
So me?
Tell that asshole
we start early tomorrow.
Mor! That's a guitar!
I'm not gay! You shithead!
I don't even look gay!
Mor! Mor!
What the hell's wrong with you!
What a mess!
"Maybe it's all in my mind."
Smooth ride to your doorsteps, ma'am.
Was I going too fast?
Your eyes are all red.
She's not in the mood, please pay then.
Keep the change.
It's going to rain.
I shouldn't disturb you.
Gotta dash now.
My ride is always ready for you,
baby, if you don't mind.
Susie, put the hat on the cat.
Test the door, please.
Are you still alive?
You're a cheat!
Why did you wash your face?
Have you dressed Johnny?
Everything okay?
"Why haven't you started?"
Who're you waiting for?
For you.
Why me? M0r's the director.
Hurry up. Someone's arrived so late.
"Put the hat on the cat"
and clear the set, we're rolling!
You sarcastic prick.
Susie, move your ass.
Fiat, tilt down a little.
Like this?
We're not shooting the floor.
Bring it up.
We're ready.
And... action!
Fiat's one of most talented
cinematographers in the country.
He has two unrivaled qualities:
his shooting skill and his body odor.
Why's the idiot shooting the ceiling?
Dickhead, what time did you go to bed?
Same time as you.
Yes, and I woke you up.
I woke you and you started eating again.
But I went back to sleep first.
Around 4am we had a good laugh.
I fell asleep first,
and you woke me up to eat.
Dode, Fiat, shall we get back to work?
We're shooting a cat, not a ceiling.
I'm sleepy-
And... action!
He's eating!
I saw a fly on the table.
I'm afraid that
if we let a fly on the set,
our brand image will be,
like, you know, dirty.
Let's see. There's no fly.
He's enjoying the noodles.
You're right, no fly. Please carry on.
Don't you have any other
appointments today?
No, I'm free all day.
IIAII day?"
Susie, look at the costume.
"If you recognize the fly's face,"
I'll murder his whole family for you.
- "Really?"
- How dare the bastard flew into the frame!
You're right.
Everyone ready? And... action!
Mor, I think we should stop.
Did you pay respect to
the spirit house this morning?
We must stop, oh my God,
please stop stop stop!
What's the problem?
Didn't you guys see it?
Go back.
the mirror next to the screen.
Zoom in.
Shit, a ghost!
I can't deal with the supernatural.
I didn't see it in the viewfinder.
You're reflected in the mirror.
Is she still alive?
what did you do to her?
She looks completely drained.
"How could I do anything to her?"
She's just a trainee.
Let's continue.
What a nuisance!
Please carry on.
Wasting my time.
Why didn't you look carefully?
I did!
And... action!
We're good!
That's great, cut!
Are you okay with that?
It's good.
let's move to the outdoor set.
Mayo, I need the trolley.
Move, or I'll carry you down.
Pai, that's good enough.
I know!
bring Johnny and Taro on the set.
Fiat, all set?
Okay, we're rolling now.
Hello... Yes, of course.
Everyone ready!
Mr. Kobayashi is coming to the set.
Is he coming by Shinkansen?
No! Hold it! Hold it!
Hang on to it!
Good afternoon everyone.
Have I disturbed your filming?
I feel so bad for intruding.
Not at all, right?
"No, you're not disturbing us."
You just ruined everything.
Where's Johnny?
I miss him so much.
Let's show Mr. Kobayashi
to the lounge.
"Please come this way,"
we'll bring Johnny to you later.
- "Right."
- This way.
What now?
I know you're tired,
"but we have to set up again"
and continue shooting.
Do you think I'm a superhero?
"Set up my ass! Listen, from now on"
I'll never eat Japanese food again!
Then what will you eat?
Molecular noodles.
More like diarrhea noodles.
You guys are so unsophisticated.
Susie, bring Johnny.
What a drag.
Set up the camera.
"Cool it, man!"
I'm going to pee!
Mayo, bring Johnny to Dode asap.
Damn it!
Where's Johnny?
Help me look for him!
Have you found him?
What? You can't find Johnny?
How could you let that happen?!
I'm sorry.
Don't sorry.
If you can't find the cat, you're fired.
It's my fault.
It's not her fault,
I'll take care of it.
It's me who forgot to lock the cage,
it's my fault.
Mayo, stop. It's my responsibility.
I told you it's not!
He's my responsibility!
I lost him,
I'll accept the consequences.
Mayo, what's wrong with you today?
Nothing, I'm just a trainee.
Stop arguing
and start looking for the cat!
Are they arguing about the cat
or about me?
You talkin' to me?
Yes, I want to know.
They were arguing about you.
You're the thorn between two lovers.
What? Mayo thinks
Mor and I are having an affair?
We're Buddhist!
My sakura is ruined.
Sakura? I'm worried about yakuzas!
Don't throw tantrum! Just find the cat!
What if we can't find it?
And my life will be lost too!
Your life's worth nothing.
What's your problem?
I want to sit down.
You want to talk to me?
"We have a dozen people and"
we couldn't keep an eye on a stupid cat!
You're complaining like an old geezer.
Get out of my face.
"And go where?"
Wherever you want.
I won't go anywhere.
I'm worried about you.
' JOhnny!
I've posted his picture on
"We Love Cats".
Maybe somebody will spot him.
Mayo, when did you leave last night?
Just find the cat!
How will you guarantee his safety?
Johnny is an aristocratic cat.
He never left the house,
it's dangerous out there!
The dogs are fierce,
the motorcycles fast,
the cars ruthless!
And some people eat cats!
Do you understand?
That shitty cat is an aristocrat?
What did the Jap say?
You have good ears.
Hello. What? He fell in the bathroom?
I'll be right there.
My aunt-in-law's boyfriend
has had an accident.
My aunt-in-law's boyfriend.
"It's very serious. I'm so sorry."
Please take care of everything.
"Her aunt-in-law's boyfriend?"
What the hell is that?
A remote family I suppose.
Did you see a big brown cat?
I'll keep an eye on it.
He ran away?
"Hope you'll find Johnny."
"Adopt me instead of Johnny."
"Fufu, slim down fast
in just three days!"
"Really, how much do you charge?"
"lnbox me please."
No clues?
Don't be like this.
Like what?
you're not the old Mayo.
Because I'm not the old Mayo.
I didn't mean that.
I mean,
I want the old Mayo back.
Mayo, stop!
I told you to stop.
Stay still, or you'll squash it.
Urgh, dog shit!
Wait here.
Lift you leg.
So, can we go?
Like this?
Why not?
I see, you're embarrassed.
Let's do this then.
Come on!
"Location 1/49 O ngoen Alley A0 Ngoen,"
SaiMaLBangkok 10220"
Mor's found the cat.
Take me there, now!
We're saved!
What's wrong?
Dude, where's my car?
Did you drive it here this morning?
Of course, I parked it here!
Maybe you parked it somewhere else
and took a motorcycle taxi here.
I drove it here!
Shit keeps happening to me!
Call the police.
Hi, police!
Please help me, I lost my car.
A blue Austin Mini.
Your car is light green.
I changed the color, it's green.
You didn't change it. It's always green!
Oh yes, it's blue, sir.
"Light Green!"
Light green, it's light green!
I left it outside my company,
Sati-Studio. It's my life saving!
There are so many car thieves
around here, please help me.
I'm on the phone!
Say sorry to him and hang up.
How could I? It's not your car!
I've found your car.
Don't mess with me!
Get in the car.
Police, please ignore me.
I'm a lunatic.
Who moved it here?
You parked it here!
It's global warming. The Earth moves
and the car was pushed here!
Go get a head scan.
Is this a car or a cupboard?
"Maybe you prefer walking?"
It's so cramped in here!
MY boy, you kick ass!
Johnny! You left your girlfriend!
Mor, wait!
Is this the right way?
Yes, the GPS says turn left.
Are you sure?
Just follow the GPS.
Your text last night, did you mean it?
Oops, it was a mistake.
Good. I thought you meant it.
What if I really mean it.
If you really mean it,
Johnny! Not the ship! Johnny!
Johnny! Come back!
100 meters to destination --
or to a dead end?
- "Dode."
- What?
Turn into this alley.
No entry.
A local mafia?
No entry.
- "What?"
- Look there.
"5 baht for using the road"
I'm not using the road,
I'm passing through it.
Smartass motherfucker.
No pay, no entry.
Hurry UP-
Looking for trouble, shithead?
That hurts.
Pay her.
I'll give you 1,000.
No. Five baht.
- "But it's a thousand!"
- Get small change.
Okay, 2,000.
I don't have change!
Are you crazy!
Shut up!
Old woman, what're you doing?
Calm down!
I'll take care of it.
How much did they pay you?
- "One."
- Just one!
"Don't be greedy,"
we have to help out people in trouble.
They offered you 2,000
and you took only 1.
One gold Buddha amulet.
No, it's mine!
"I just want to look."
No, it's mine!
Don't get upset,
I'll buy you a new gold necklace.
It's the amulet.
Which monk was it?
Guru Monk Fish.
What the hell is that, Guru Monk Fish?
He's a punk-monk, so cool.
He's down here, we'll get him this time.
Mor, look!
come down here!
What're you doing?
Having lunch maybe?
You're harder to catch than a cat.
What a pain!
Get him or he'll run away again.
Just like Jack and Rose.
Sorry for causing so many problems.
Problems are there to be solved.
Not again!
Why did you turn?
Do you trust me or the GPS?
The GPS, of course!
Mayo, wait!
- Are you sure?
- Just follow the GPS.
Happy Slurping. It's Irresistible.
New Arna!
Mor, well done!
You directed Johnny into a real star!
Arigato gozaimasu.
Directing my ass --
it's all computer generated.
He doesn't know!
Shall we sit down?
Let's have a seat.
But what?
I have a new product,
I want you to create another commercial.
Dode is so brilliant that
he could direct cats.
From now it's no problem for him
to direct lions, cheetahs and antelopes.
Anyway, what's the new presenter?
Carp fish.
Carp fish?
That's right.
"Which is so super-simple,"
I want to drop-kick this bitch.
What did you say?
I said it's super-simple.
Easy-peasy indeed.
Arigato gozaimasu.
This arigato is breaking my back.
Do your best.
We'll be leaving then, sayonara sir.
Okay, soyanara.
Arigato gozaimasu.
I knew it,
hurry UP-
Let's go.
My back hurts.
My treat. For your last day as trainee.
Just one drink?
You don't want it?
I do!
So, do you mean it?
Mean what?
Oops, wrong text.
What's wrong?
Give me a sec.
Thank you.
"Good luck Mayo."
Need any help, just call Susie.
I have nothing to give you,
so take this.
- "Pai..."
- It's from me.
- "Well..."
- Some tuna too.
Just one as a souvenir is fine.
Take more.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
He's not here.
Who's not here?
I see.
"Thank you for taking good care
of me during my internship".
Won't you at least say goodbye?
I didn't see you in the office.
Thanks anyway.
Get in, I'll give you a ride.
It's okay.
We're on the opposite side anyway.
"Missing Person!!!"
"A trainee who's in love
with her mentor has gone missing."
"I told him,
we're on the opposite side."
"And what did he say?"
What if...
I want to change side?
He's crazy!
He's running away!
Towel for the cat.
Put on a wig.
Same hairstyle!
He's going again!
Such a gentleman, asshole.
Is that a car or a piggy bank?
Watch and learn, boy.
You can't park there!
A cat!
Yes, a cat!
Aiya, no cat!
I'll drive you.
Cat-phobia, ridiculous!
My zodiac sign is the rat
I'm a rat.
Go home, boy.
Fat bastard, you snatched her
from right under my nose!
Everyone knows
the meaning of "love",
but few people know
the meaning of "enough".
Love Guru Handsome to the Heaven
"Love Guru, Handsome to the Heaven"?
Have you looked into the mirror lately?
Bro, each of us
has our own kind of beauty.