Cha Cha Real Smooth (2022) Movie Script

["The Show Goes On" plays]
[no audible dialogue]
[music continues]
-All I can see is they're
flicking... Mom, Mom.
-Hey, honey.-Can we talk in the hall?
Just one sec.
Wait, what? What is it? Is everything okay?
I'm in love, Mom.
Shut up. Who?
-Bella.-[mouthing] Who?
The girl leading the dances.
[gasps] Oh.
I know she's old, but I think
she's in love with me too.
-Are we sure, babe?-Yes.
Sure, sure?
-I'll be right back.-Where are you going?
-I'll meet you in the car.-Where you going?
Just go to the car, please.
-Andrew! Superstar!-Hi.
You and I worked up a sweat tonight, huh?
Yeah, I guess we did. Um...
Do you think I will ever see you again?
Maybe for a date?
I know I'm young, but
maybe we can, like, look...
[stammers] I mean, um...
Maybe we can just, like...
[sighs] I'm sorry, I'm really nervous.
Well, this is the most
flatteredl've ever felt.
I'm old.
[radio host speaks indistinctly]
-I actually need that.-I need it.
The hell you doing?
My baby's heartbroken.
["Clear Bones" plays]
-Mmm. [kisses]-[giggles]
What are you gonna do?
Kiss you. [kisses]
[chuckles] After college.
Answer my question.
I did. I'm going to kiss you after college
because I... I've decidedl'm
going to Barcelona with you.
That's not funny.
You're super drunk.
No, I'm not.
[Andrew groaning]
Just tell me what you're gonna do.
I've told you what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna go home,
and I'm gonna finda really
great nonprofit to work at.
So, you just want, like,
chili on the corn dog?
Do you want it, like, as a dipping sauce,
or do you really want it on the corn dog?
Hey, Maya. This is Andrew.
Hello, Maya. This is Andrew.
I'm at Meat Sticks right
now, bored out of my mind,
and I'm thinking of you, and I
hopeyou're having a nice time in Barcelona.
Did you ask your brother about tonight?
[sibling] Um, no, I forgot.
Ask me what?
To take me to a bat mitzvah party.
Well, where is it, little punk?
Space Events in Englewood.
Thank you, little punk.
It's Cath's daughter, Pheeb. Macy's sister.
Cath hates me right
now, so I'm not gonna go.
But I sent money.
Is Macy in town?
Yeah. I saw her at the service.
I told her you were here. You should go.
She'd be thrilled.
Would that cramp your style?
Do you have a crush on Phoebe?
If she looks anything like
Macy, you're a fucking liar.
-Language, buddy.
Hmm?-It's fine, Greg. I'm 12.
He doesn't have crushes.
He has a girlfriend.
Shut the hell up.
-You have a
girlfriend?-[Andrew's mom laughs]
Girlfriend and puberty?
Puberty and a girlfriend?
-[laughing]-[laughs, squeals] Mar...
-Fuck off. That is like... No,
uh-uh. No, Andrew.
We're not in a Tulane
dormitoryright now, okay?
Yes, you're right. Sorry. We're
in a 60-year-old's bachelor pad.
No cursing.
I'm just kidding.
My mom did a great job redecorating.
[Andrew's mom chuckling]
Yeah. She sure did.
Why does Cath hate you?
I had a moment last week.
Your mother had a [sighs]
manic episode.
Greg, I feel like your purpose
on Earthis to make things weird.
Do you?
[Andrew] Mmm, yeah.
All right. Let me take a look at you.
Looking sharp.
Tsk-tsk-tsk. Tsk-tsk-tsk.
Wait. Turn around. Let me see something.
I can't believe you're crashingmy
little sister's bat mitzvah.
I know. I didn't even go to the service.
I'm here 'cause my mom's skipping,
and David needs a family
memberwith him at all times.
-That's not true.-I'm just kidding.
Is your mom okay?
Uh, yes. Yeah. I didn't
really hear what happened.
Yeah, neither did I.
I think she's okay.
"Is Cath okay?" is the
more important question.
Cath is great.
She loves your mom. She
loves every mom, really.
Except this one crazy onethat,
um, used to sub at Newark.
And apparently, she fucked
Mr. Charleboisin the cafeteria bathroom.
Mr. Charlebois our principal?
I forgot you were here. Fuck. I
keep forgetting I'm around children.
[electronic dance music plays]
Pheeb starting off strongwith
the innocuous games theme.
You know, it was going to be
"Under the Sea with Pheeb,"
but she had to call a last-minute audible
'cause her bitch friend, Gigi Rothman,
is obsessed with Little Mermaid,
and she forced her to change it.
-What a bitch.-Bitch.
Do you have a job now or
We're not allowed to talk about
jobsat the bat mitzvah party, actually.
Okay. So you either don't
have a jobor you have a bad job.
-I have a bad job. Yeah.-Yeah, see?
[groans] It's the crazy mom.
That's the mom I was just talking about.
I am looking at a high schoolerwith
her stunning French au pair.
[Macy] That's a mom and her kid.
So she was, like, a tween mom maybe.
No, that kid's in Davidand Phoebe's grade.
I think she's autistic or something.
So, her mom had her start school late.
[Andrew]That's just
terrible for both of them.
Cath thinks she smokes crack.
The autistic girl?
Can I have a vodka cranberry, please?
No, actually, can I get a vodka soda?
Actually, no. Vodka cranberry.
[bat mitzvah DJ] Thirteen! Let's do this!
[bat mitzvah DJ] Let's go.
Come on, everybody. Oh, there we go.
[guest 1] Come on, Phoebe.
That's it. You'll be great.
[bat mitzvah DJ] Getting it started.
[bat mitzvah DJ] Oh, no.
Uh-oh. Here comes Mom. Take cover.
[guest 2] Whoo-hoo!
[bat mitzvah DJ] Go, Mom! Go, Mom! Whoo!
Move that thang. Yeah.
[speaks indistinctly]
Boys. What's going on over here?
Are we not gonna... Are we
not gonna dance at some point?
What about you, sir? Don't you havea
girlfriend you should be dancing with?
I don't really talk to her.
Oh, great.
What about you, Rod? You
seem like a real shot of life.
Why are you not on the
floor? Do you not dance?
I can dance. This music just sucks.
I agree with you. I really agree with you.
Is there a songthat would get you dancing?
"Fooly Cooly" by BoyBand.
If I get DJ Rich to play that song,
do you promise that you
willdance your freaking butt off?
Yes. That'd be so freaking hype.
Nice work. You want me
to beat youin tic-tac-toe?
Or do you wanna mingle a little bit?
You wanna head home?
You're not going to beat me.
Oh, I think I'm gonna beat you.
I think I'm gonna kick your cute ass.
[DJ Rich]Ah, shit! Come
on. Play the song, baby!
["Fooly Cooly" plays]
Do you wanna be X's or O's?
-O's.-X's. [chuckles]
Hi, honey. [chuckles]
-I haven't seen you in
such a long time.-Oh, I know.
I wish your mom was here.
-I will tell her you said that.-Please do.
Did you get a job yet?
Your daughter asked me the same
question, and I don't have a great answer.
But you don't have a party
starterhere tonight, so that is my job.
And it'll be free of charge.
We thought DJ Rich would be enough, so
You were super wrong,
'cause he's really bad at his job.
But it's okay because,
table four, I have a question.
Do we like the song called "Funky Town"?
["Funky Town" plays]
We shouldn't go dance, should we?
-We definitely should not
do that. Yeah.-Are you sure?
You can put your headphones
on, and we can just go in the corner.
Nobody's dancing with their
motherwith headphones on.
Hey. Um, do you two dance?
Um, but we're not feeling it right now.
So maybe in a bit.
Amazing. Well, yeah, no rush at all.
But, um, tonight is the night, so
What night?
Did you say "what night"?
No, I did not. My mother did.
[Andrew]Oh. Um, what's your mother's name?
Her name is Domino.
Domino. I'm Andrew.
Hi, Andrew.
Can I ask your name?
Your name is Lola?
That's... That's literallymy
favorite name of all time.
My mother, Domino, named me.
Well, Domino, to answer your question...
-What was your question?-[Domino chuckles]
You said, "Tonight's the
night."And I said, "What night?"
Tonight is the nightthat you
and Lola dance your booties off.
There is no rush at all. No hurry.
Just know that nobody on the dance
flooris gonna have nearly as much fun
if you guys aren't there, so
Oh. I don't know how to moonwalk.
[guests cheering]
Go, Pheeb!
["Into Blue" plays]
What are you gonna get?
I am gonna try to find something
that will give me some
courageto ask Lola to slow dance.
That is very sweet, but she won't dance.
[chuckles] It's okay.
Lola's autistic.
That's why she's working on
her cubeat the bat mitzvah party.
Not because the party's, um,
-game-themed. Yes.-Game-themed.
Is that hard?
Yeah, the cu... It's really hard.
I can't do it for the life of
me, but she's really good at it.
-I meant the... I know what you meant.
Um, nope. I mean, sometimes.
But not because of her.
I'm sorry.
Sometimes I think I'm autistic.
You do?
Well no.
-That wasn't real.-It happened.
-I'm really sorry.-I'm gonna remember it.
I do think I could get her... I thinkl
could get her on the dance floor.
I will give you $1,000.
Like you'd bet me $1,000?
-No, I'd just give it to you.-No.
Okay, well, that's no
fun. How about I bet you...
I'll bet you $300I can
get her on the dance floor.
[hip-hop music plays]
This kid rocks.
He's adorable.
He's even making me not hate Hoochie Slut.
Cathy, that is not even
close to appropriate.
She fucked my husband.
-She did not fuck Todd. Why
would she?-I can say whatever I want.
It wouldn't have been as
much funif you weren't there.
I mean, that's entirely true.
But when I'm not there,
just don't be shy. Dance.
You're a really good dancer.
Margaret was so smitten with you.
Girls love good dancers,
and the boys do too.
Why do you think I'm gay?
I just think you shouldn't
sayfor certain who you are
until, like, junior year of college.
What happens junior year?
-Lots of things.-Andrew.
-Hi.-Hey. I thought you guys left.
We wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.
Lola, do you know David?
-Yes.-Hi, Lola.
Hi, David.
We had science class together last year.
God, you guys are cute.
Andrew, um, Lola and I wanted to
saythank you for dancing with us.
And, David, I know I'll probablysee
a lot of you at these parties.
But, Andrew, I need your Venmo
-because I might never
see you again.-Right.
Well, I think we have to see Andrew again.
Ladies, what is happening here?
I'm... I'm stayingin
New Jersey for a while,
so I will definitely bring
Davidto another bar mitzvah.
Well, I am happy to hear that,
because what's happening right now
isyou're being swarmed by Jewish mothers
who are recruiting youto
be their motivational dancer.
You mean like the party starters?
They said he made
sureeveryone had a perfect night.
And they needa designated
party orchestrator.
Andrew, this is so fun.
-[Andrew] You think?-Yes!
I don't know. I wanna hearwhat
Greg thinks about it first.
Don't be mean. Stop.
This is so good. You can start a company.
Yeah. I mean, I hate
working at Meat Sticks,
and I really enjoyed my night. So
Well, you wouldn'tquit
Meat Sticks altogether.
You'd just cut down on your hours.
Did they mention, uh, how much you'd make?
How much does a party
starter get paid, I wonder.
I think they said just underwhat an
unhappy pharmaceutical exec makes.
What the hell does that mean?
Honey, that's not funny.
Are you thinking about Andrew?
I'm thinking about feeding
Jerrycauliflower and cucumber tomorrow.
Well, big day for you tomorrow, Jerry.
What did Andrew say to get you dancing?
Andrew said he would buy
mea MoYu 13-by-13 Magic Cube
with the $300 you were going to give him.
Do you thinkhe would
be a good sitter for you?
Well, I do not do well with sitters,
but I think it might be a
bit differentwith Andrew.
I like him. And I think
he would like Jerry.
Also, I do not thinkhe
would treat me like a baby.
[Andrew's mom]You
have to just brush him off.
-I really can't live here.-Can
you not talk like that, please?
Greg's a dick. He is.
-Can you not use that
language?-That's why I'm out of here
as soon as I have some money.
Stop. What I was gonna
say is, Greg's a dick,
but I put up with it becausehe
and Mom are good for each other.
[Andrew chuckles]
Thanks, honey.
Literally how?
Are you happy? Does he make you happy?
I'm happy here, okay?
I don't have to worry aboutso
many things because of Greg.
And I don't expect
youto understand that yet.
[snorts, chuckles]
Okay, I'm done talking about Greg.
What's your business going to be called?
Tell me.
You're really gonna love
it. David came up with it.
[Andrew's mom] What?
Jig Conductor.
[rock music plays]
If anybody knows how to start
a party, it's my brother, Andrew.
Or should I say, the Jig Conductor?
It stopped.
It broke 'cause it stopped.
That's all there is.
When... You have to finish it.
Fuck no, Mom. If anybody sees
thatl'm gonna get put on a watch list.
It's cute. David is so cute.
What are you talking about?
Did you just watch what I watched?
The camera hates him.
He's stiff as a board.
So what he's a little stiff?
It's fine. It's so cute. It's so good.
Mom, I don't need to do a video.
This thing isn't... It's not like that.
Like what? Like a job?
Yeah, I get paid, but I don't
have to think of it as a job.
Okay. Well, you do have to
think of itas a job if you want a job.
I don't want to think of it as a job.
I just want to get enough
moneyto go to Barcelona.
Because that's whereMaya
is doing her Fulbright?
No. A little, yes.
But also 'cause that's where I want to go.
Okay, sweetie. You just...
You didn't tell me thatthat's
what you wanted to do.
'Cause I didn't wanna make you sad.
As long as you're doing what
youwant to do, then I'm perfectly happy.
I just want to make surethat
you're doing what you want to do.
You can't just go with everything.
I'm not just going with Maya to Barcelona.
I really want to go.
It'd be a huge deal. I...
Barcelona is, like, the place
that I've always wanted to go.
Okay. Well, I think it's really
weirdthat you never mentioned it...
-I... Stop. Mom, stop!-You never
told me anything about Barcel...
-Just stop. I don't want... I want
to help. I'm just trying to help.
-I don't want your help. Stop!-Okay.
[hip-hop music plays]
[music stops]
[Andrew] Oh, my gosh. Uh,
hold on. Two seconds, everybody.
Who... Who knocked this over?
Here we go. Oh, we need to plug in.
[music continues]
You dance as well.
Go dance. You got to go dance.
Let's do the Motziand
toasts after this song.
-God, you scared me so
bad.-What's that bottle?
My water bottle?
The one with "vodka" written on it?
Uh-huh. No it's a joke.
I was just, like, joking with my
friendsone time, and I put it on there.
And it's, like, so people won't drink it.
Okay, but I don't wantyou drinking tonight.
[stammers] I won't. S... I'm sorry.
Everybody, you did an amazing job dancing.
And now it is time for the
Motziand the Kiddush and the toasts.
Now I will pass it off to you.
[rabbi speaks Hebrew]
Mazel tov.
-[dance music plays]-[cheers]
Okay. Go, Jakey! Go, Jakey! Go, Jakey!
All right, everybody. Next song
isa request from Rabbi Steinberg.
It's called "WAP."
I'm just kidding, Rabbi
Steinberg. That was a joke.
[breathes shakily]
Macaroni in a potThat's
some wet-ass pussy
-That song. He can't play that.-[chuckles]
Hey, buddy. Why did that,
uh... Why'd that girl just leave?
Probably 'cause she's too old.
You feeling a little bit insecureabout
her being taller than you?
She's only taller than
me'cause she's autistic
and got held back, like, three years.
She's, like, three years older than us.
Were you being mean to her?
You trying to trick her into
thinkingshe can't beat you up?
She can't beat me up.
You know who can beat you up for sure?
What's going on here?
Uh, nothing. This kid's
just kind of being a bully.
Sorry, my son is being what?
Your son's being a prick.
Do I smell alcohol, kid?
Fuck off, adult.
Wow. Nice.
You're Lisa's kid?
You guys call me kid one more time.
-What did you say?-What's going on here?
Your DJ is being extremely
inappropriatewith my family.
Andrew, explain to me what's going on.
I just wanted to make sure no
onewas being bullied at the party.
I think you should go
home. I'm very disturbed.
I think you should go
homeand take your kid with you.
-Do not speak to her like that,
Andrew.-You tell her not to...
-Okay, you're gonna leave. Let's
go.-You embarrassed Rabbi Steinberg.
And you told peopleto dance
their wet-ass pussies off.
Hey, where's your mom? Her
bag was in there ready to get stolen.
I do not know where my mother is.
Can I sit down with you?
Found your cube.
Do you want to tell me whatthat
mean little bitch kid said to you?
That I do not belong in his grade.
Are you okay? Did that make you mad?
I just wanted to walk away.
Well, that's really awesome of you
because I almost kicked
his assand got thrown in jail.
Okay, while you work on that,
I'm gonna go try to find your motherbecause
I think she's probably worried.
[Andrew] Hi, women's bathroom.
Um, I'm looking for someone.
Is anybody in here?
Does anybody's name in herestart with a D?
Yeah. Domino?
Is Lola okay? Have you seen her?
Yes. Yeah, she's, uh... She's
cubing it up. Are you okay?
Um, I'm kind of stuck in here.
What do you mean? Do you need toilet paper?
I just... I got some blood on my dress.
I... It's not... I'm fine. It's not a cut.
Oh, word, okay.
Um, but I need... Can you
get me some paper towels?
Yes. Yeah.
Like, ten.
[Andrew] Yep.
And can you wet some?
-Huh?-[Domino] Will you wet some of them?
Can you reach that?
[sobs] Fuck.
-What?-I can't reach that.
I just got blood on my
dre... More blood on my dress.
-I can go a little further.-Yeah,
toss them. Just throw them.
I can but I feel like it's gonna fallon
the floor, and it's gonna be, like,
not sanitary for your...
Go under, then. Go...
Close the door.
Are you okay?
Do you want me to seeif someone
has a tampon or something?
No, I'm good. [sniffles]
Andrew, I need you to help me get to my car
because I don't want the parents to thinkl
Kill Billed somebody in the bathroom.
Yeah, it does look like that. Do you, um
That's a period? Uh, do you want my, um...
Do you wanna wear my coat? I have a coat.
I don't think your coatis
gonna cover my ass.
I feel like it is. I'm pretty tall.
I don't want the parents to
seeme wearing some guy's jacket.
Okay. I think I have an idea.
-Hey.-I finished. Did you find my mother?
Great job. Yes, I did find your mother.
And she's got a bit ofa
visual situation going on
because she spilled somethingon
her dress, but I have a plan.
What did she spill?
She... But I... So, I have a plan.
My mother was not eating steak.
Someone else spilled steak onto her.
But it doesn't matter'cause I have a plan,
and you're going to playa
super important role in that plan
because I can't go back into the party.
Excuse me, David.
Your brother, Andrew, has asked
meto ask you to help me with a plan.
Hello, sir.
Domino, I'd really like to driveyou
and Lola home if that's okay.
And I think we should
maybestop at the hospital.
[sighs, sniffles]
I don't need to go to the hospital.
I'm fine.
Okay. Well, you look totally fine, so
Do you want a hug or something?
["Crime" plays]
[Andrew] Okay. I love you.
I love you too.
What do you wanna do?
You want to hang out down
herewhile Andrew waits for a ride?
I want to get in my pajamas.
Okay, cutie. Do your thing.
I'll be up in a bit to say good night.
Sorry I'm close to you. You
looked like you were gonna fall over.
I need to sit down.
I need to take a shower.
I feel like we should just sit here.
I wanna get out of this fucking T-shirt.
I like your shirt.
Then why don't you marry it?
Are you all right?
Thank you.
[water running]
-[door closes]-[footsteps approaching]
Sorry I scared you.
It's okay. Where's my mother?
She's, um, she... I thinkshe's
brushing her teeth too, actually.
Do you want to meet my hamster?
Oh, my gosh.
Here you go, Jerry.
Man, I love Jerry. He is very cute.
Good Lord.
So, school is starting
soon. Are you excited?
I'm excited for parts. [sighs]
You bummed summer is over?
A little bit, yes.
Do you... Do you collect potato mashers?
Yes, I do.
That's really awesome.
So, what do you usually
dobefore bed besides feed Jer,
and get in pj's and brush your teeth?
My mom sometimes will scratch my
back, but I do not want you to do that.
I do not let anybodybut
my mother touch my back.
Yeah. No, that makes total sense.
Why are you here?
Ouch. You're trying to hurt my feelings?
-No.-Well, Lola, that was kind of brutal.
I did not mean to be brutal.
I'm just teasing.
Your mom just had a tough night
and I wanted to make
sureyou guys were all good.
But I am going to leave right now.
And I'm going to see you at Lexi
Ray'sbat mitzvah party, if you're going.
I think I will be in attendance.
Okay. Well, good night.
-Good night to you too, Andrew.-And
good night to you too, Jerry.
That's a really cute freaking hamster.
Hi. [chuckles]
Lola just introduced me to Jerry.
Oh, yeah. She's really proud of him.
Are you, um... Are you
hiding something in there?
-I'm gonna go and say good night.-Okay.
But if you wanna wait downstairsin
the living room, we can talk.
I'm glad you're here.
I thought you left.
-Do you have a husband?-I have a fianc.
He's in Chicago.
He's not, um, Lola's dad, right?
This is his parents' house.
Oh, his parents are here?
[chuckles] He inherited it.
I feel very comfortable
with you. I don't know why.
But I do.
Why wouldn't you feel comfortable?
Lola said you askedabout
her potato mashers.
Your kid is super dope.
And I was thinking, I used to help
outfamilies in my neighborhood,
like, if parents wanted a night
out, I would stay with their kids.
Or, like, even watch their house.
And I was wondering if, like, you and
Lolahave a situation like that with someone.
-Who I need to kill.-No.
No, I wish.
I'd usually just bring herto
my parents' house, but
they live very far away, and it's a pain.
Well, if you don't want to do that ever,
call me because I really like to
siton my ass and hang out with people.
But I understand if you don't want to,
because we don't really know each other.
We know each other.
Yeah. Right?
Do you have a piece of
papersomewhere in here?
Okay. My number is on this slip of paper,
and I'm gonna call a rideso
you can get some rest.
But I'd really like for you to callor
text me if you ever want a night out
or, like, want some help.
You wanna sitwhile you wait for your ride?
Uh, yes. On the floor again?
We've upgraded.
I really like your couch.
I hate it.
Me too. That's what I meant to say.
Are you gonna be okay tonight?
It wasn't a period.
I'm so sorry.
That's what I was thinking.
Did Joseph know that you were pregnant?
Let's not tell anybody about this.
Well, if you ever want anyone
to talk to, I've got massive ears.
Where's your ride?
Oh, my God.
Probably very close.
It's about three minutes.
I don't... I don't feel like
I mean, I want to. But I
feel like you don't want to.
It's okay.
Hello, Macy. What are you doing tonight?
-[breathing heavily]-[bed creaking]
-Are you sure nobody's
here right now?-Yeah.
Yeah. My, um, my parentsare
at a bridge tournament.
-My sister's at a sleepover.-Okay.
So, yeah, we can be loud.
Yeah. Go harder. Yeah.
[breathing heavily]
-Why... Why are you staring at me?-I'm not.
-Close your eyes. Why are your
eyes open?-My eyes are closed.
They were open.
You can toss that in the bathroom.
Who are you, Mr. Fucker?
The hell are you
doingwith my lover, fucker?
I can't believe college is over.
I can't believe we just had sex.
-Why?-I don't know. I just feel old.
Like, I had algebra with you.
And bio. With Dr. Mindle.
Did you have a crush on me?
Everybody had a crush on you.
Yeah, but did you?
I mean, I was attracted to you.
But I feel like... I think I felt
likeyou had so many people.
A lot of suitors.
I wasn't attracted to you.
So I actually didn't ask that.
But I appreciate the honesty.
I was attracted to youat
my sister's bat mitzvah.
And now you're not?
-Now I'm thinking about
algebra.-And bio with Dr. Mindle.
Do you think I peaked already?
Of course not.
I just really hate my job.
If only I could quit my
joband be a party starter.
And a Meat Sticks worker.
-Mmm.-But I actually
just applied for this job.
It was a... It's a Newark
chief officer zone
opportunity analyst i-intern.
-Cool. Oh.-I didn't get it. I got rejected.
Do you think I should quit party starting?
Well, on one hand, it is silly.
It's really silly.
But on the other hand, so is every job.
Like, selling your time is insane.
That's really depressing.
I do think you're a sexy dancer.
Come on.
-Do you wanna have sex again?-Not at all.
[both laugh]
Uh, no, man. We don't
have alcohol. I wish we did.
But no, we don't have our
liquor licensehere in the mall.
Hey. How's Margaret?
Are you guys talking yet?
Not really. We just text
and dance at bar mitzvahs.
Yeah, you do.
Your chemistry with heron
the dance floor is pretty insane.
Are you just saying that?
I'm saying that 'cause I have two
eyes. You guys are electric together.
When did you have your first kiss?
Why do you ask?
Margaret's friend told
methat she wants to kiss.
And how do we feel about that?
Answer with your badass shades off.
I don't know how to make it happen.
All right. Lesson one.
Forty percent of it is instinct.
Like, if it feels right,
it probably is right.
Go with your gut.
And then 10% is your
brainand all that stuff.
Like game plan, strategy.
And then 50% is Margaret.
You don't know anything about her.
You don't know what she
wantsor what she likes,
so you have to talk to her.
Try super hard to know.
Are there any more lessons?
Yes, there are.
There are five... four lessonson
how to have the best first smooch.
[Andrew]Hey, do you
see a lot of Lola at school?
Yeah. I have English
with her this year. Why?
I don't know. I just think you guys
shouldbe really nice to her. Bullies suck.
And I feel like it'd do a lotif
cute boys were really nice to her.
That guy is a dick to us too. He
and his two friends bully everybody.
Who? Gavin?
-Yeah.-Well, maybe you
guys should beat him up.
I'm definitely gonnabeat
Gavin's ass one day.
That's bacon and eggs.
You're dating him, huh.
Trying to ease me into it?
Honestly, thank you.
You, like, trainingfor a big bicep contest?
I don't want to do that anymore. [sighing]
You can do more.
You can do more.
Oh, no, I can't. I can't
do more. I'm not that guy.
You're not that guy, pal.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
[chuckles] I'm not a push-up guy.
[sniffs, sighs]
I'm not a sit-up guy either.
Why do you want this job?
Well, uh, hope loves a friend.
Hope Loves a Friendis the
name of our nonprofit, yeah.
But why do you wanna join the
teamas a communications associate?
Yeah, sorry.
I studied marketing at Tulane.
And I have, uh, a lot of
experiencewith social media design.
And a lot of experience with, uh,
CRM tools like Buffer and MailChimp.
-A lot of experience there.-Mm-hmm.
I don't know. I just wanna
help make a difference
with kids and young adultswhose
parents are affected with ASL.
You mean, uh, ALS.
Pretty sure it's ASL.
No, I'm kidding. Obviously, you're right.
My dad has ALS.
That's not true. I don't
know why I just said that.
[schoolchildren chattering]
How'd the interview go?
I'm going to lean back into
theMeat-Sticks, party-starting grind.
[David] Can you tell me the second lesson?
[Andrew] The second lesson is
give her all of your attentionbecause
that's all people want.
[David] That's pretty easy.
[dance music plays]
Does that look good? Yes? That...
-King. You're a king.-For the kids' side?
That's for the kids' side,
then I'll lead the adults.
Maybe we do a call and
responsetype of thing. So it's...
What if I was like [whooshes]
Your turn. Or something like that?
Yes. Clap, clap. Yes! Um, and
then maybe you can invite, like, um...
Like, invite one of your friends upto
do a dance or something like that.
[David] Oh, like Carter.
I'm gonna be right back.
You guys keep practicing.
Nerves make you forget. Keep practicing.
King. Big Baller Brand.
I'm sorry. I lost the slip of
paperthat had your number on it.
I did. And I was thinkingof
calling Lisa, your mom.
I was, like, looking at the
class list. And then I was like,
"I'm not gonna be like, 'Hey, can
you tell your son I lost his number?'"
[chuckles] So
Where's Lola?
She's actually aboutto walk in with Joseph.
Um, they are parking, and I
said I had to pee really bad.
Oh. But you wanted to warn me?
No, I didn't wanna warn you.
But, yeah, I did. I wanted to warn you.
He doesn't know
anythingthat would upset him.
Well, yeah, the theme is
"Sam goes viral. TikTok."
-[Domino] Oh. Yeah. Hi, guys.-Hi, Andrew.
Hey, Lola. It is so nice to see you.
-This is my fianc, Jo... Joseph.
-Glad to meet you.-Nice to meet you.
Domino said you, uh,
helped out the other night.
-I really appreciate that.-Oh, yeah.
And, uh, you're our new sitter.
-Yes, I am. Uh-huh.-[Joseph] Mmm.
And you're working tonight? I
hear you're a great party starter.
Yeah, well, um, I hear you're
a great professional lawyer.
-A busy one. I don't know about
great.-Yeah. You out of town a lot?
Yeah. Just a case in
Chicago keeping me busy.
[Andrew] Is your next case in Livingston?
-I wish. [chuckles]-That would be great.
All of his cases are in Chicago.
I think we should move
there. We're thinking about it.
[Joseph] She wants to. I'd rather not.
Well, where is the wedding?
[Joseph] Here. Soon.
-Should we... [Andrew]
Yeah, totally. Likewise.
[electronic dance music plays]
[people chattering]
[partygoer] Yeah!
[muffled music continues]
I got the sitter job?
I'm so sorry. I just had to... [stammers]
W-Well, no. I... I'd love to,
though. I haven't changed my mind.
Oh, okay. Well, I just thought that maybe
Nothing. I have a birthday party next week,
um, that I would like to go to,
but Joseph will be out of town.
-I'm there. I'm absolutely there.-So
If Lola wants.
Yeah. Of course, she
does. She really likes you.
I really like her.
[game tiles clacking]
-I cannot see.-That's the point. [chuckles]
How are you so fast at this game?
A lot of practice.
[gasps, whispers] Yes.
What is happening? What are you doing?
No, we are not done.
No! No!
What is "farctate"? What is "farctate"?
That is not a word. "Farctate"?
It is a word.
Well, use it in a sentence.
It's a farctate board nowthat
I've put those letters down.
What, a fucked-up board? Like
farctate... Like you farted on it?
No. It is filled. Farctate
means to fill or stuff.
It means full, as opposed to hollow.
I don't believe you at all.
And I'm going to provethat
you are telling the truth.
That is a word.
I don't understand how
you're so goodat this game.
I'm not that good. I am
just a lot better than you.
Did you feed Jerry and brush your teeth?
-Yes, of course.-[Andrew] Duh.
Well, I'm sorry Mom isn't
hereto scratch your back.
Is there, um... Can I, like,
read you a story or something?
Or, like, I can fall asleep on
the floorwhile you fall asleep.
I used to need my mom to read me a story.
Then after that, she had to, like, sleepnext
to me in order for me to fall asleep.
I do not like that sort of thing.
I do not mean to be brutal.
No. No, no, no. It's not.
I just wanna make
sureyou're okay to fall asleep.
I'm okay to fall asleep.
Okay. [inhales deeply]
Um, well, good night.
Good night to you too, Andrew.
And good night to you too, Jerry.
Is mine blue?
[laughs] Yeah, it's super blue.
-[Domino laughs]-How did that happen?
Just normal.
Do you want to know something?
I'm having more fun
nowthan I did the whole night.
Did you have a bad night?
[chewing] No, it wasn't bad.
Yeah, it was bad.
I'm a bad person.
I don't think you're a bad person.
[Domino] Let's trade.
-I have a question.-Hmm.
-Have you ever been depressed?-Wow.
Downer alert.
You don't have to sound the downer alert.
I'm just curious.
I've always been depressed.
-Whoa. Downer alert.-[laughing]
Before Lola was born?
Especially before Lola was born.
Raising her made me better.
What's it like being depressed?
I don't know.
It feels like
like you don't rememberwhat
better feels like.
And then you do things that you thinkwill
make you feel better, but they don't.
They make it worse.
[inhales deeply] And the
thingsthat I'm really scared of doing
are probably the thingsthat
will help me the most,
but I just can't do them.
My mom is bipolar
so she was really depressed
a lotwhen I was a kid.
And, I one time asked herthe same question
and she said, "Sometimes it's
just easierfor people to be sad."
She tries though. Like, really tries.
Everybody tries.
I understand that depressionmakes
your brain think things aren't true,
but sometimes I just wish peoplelike
my mom would listen to, like,
people instead of her brain.
And, like, good people, not shitty people.
Do you know what you look like right now?
You look like the sweetest person ever.
-Do you know what you look like right
now?-I don't want to know... I don't care.
I don't want to know.
Everything feels so good right
now. I don't want it to change.
The only thing I would
changeis that my elbows hurt.
Your elbows hurt?
Yeah, from leaning on them like that.
[gasps] Hmm.
Holy crap.
-I thought you were
gonna be Greg.-[chuckles]
Hey, David doesn't
like this cereal, does...
Nope, just you.
-Thank you.-You're welcome.
What'd you do tonight?
I was out with some high school friends.
Are you planningfor your Spanish adventure?
Because I am ready to help.
I think Maya is dating someonein Barcelona.
Mmm. [sighs]
I didn't want to say this before,
and I'm not just saying
thisbecause I'm your mother,
but you're way too good for
herand everybody knows that.
Literally everyone I know thinks that.
Everyone. Greg...
[both laughing]
-It's true though. [laughs]-Greg
told you that Maya was too good...
It's true. We all know it's true.
Fulbright scholar is...
-Big dummies. Big
dummies.-Dummies. [laughs]
-Hmm.-Yes, I'm way too good for her.
[both laughing]
Your memories aren't
going anywhere, by the way.
I'm sorry. Growing up is hard.
It's very overwhelming. I don't
know how much I have left.
I have so much, right?
Hmm. Not... You know, not necessarily.
You did a lot when you were young.
But I feel like you're
wayahead of the game.
["Loner" plays]
-[no audible dialogue]-[music continues]
[Lola] Hi, Andrew.
Guys, was it extra beautiful today?
We were just talking about that.
Yeah, sometimes I really envy Judaism.
And, uh, Nicky and his familywere
so sweet. Don't you think?
Yes. The parents. Oh, my
God. They were literally to die for.
[laughs] Hey, will you sit for Lolathis
week so I can take Domino out?
Yes. Lo and I get to fricking party again?
Well, I have four fourswhich
puts me at, like, 195.
I tried so hard to beat
you. What is your secret?
-I do not have any secrets.-Do you promise?
Well, Lola kicks Andrew's
ass one more time.
What do you want to do now, party animal?
I am not exactly sure.
-Do you want some more food?-No, thank you.
Do you like spending timewith me like this?
I feel like it's taking a lot out of you,
but I want you to know thatl
can just sit here and, like, not talk.
I can chill. I can be a chiller.
I feel like I'm talking a lot.
Sometimes it drains me a
bit mentallyand physically
when I spend a lot of time mingling.
Okay, yeah.
I'm sorry that I'm draining.
How can I not be? How can I help that?
You're probably not going to be able to.
Sometimes I just needto
recover in solitude.
I actually enjoy being in an empty room.
Well, I'm very jealous of that.
Why are you jealous?
Because I wish I enjoyed
the companyof an empty room.
Have you ever tried to enjoy it?
"Have you ever tried to enjoy it?" No.
I'm ready for bed and I do not
mindyou scratching my back.
[Andrew]I'm going to do
my best Domino impression.
Go like this.
And go like that.
-Like this?-Yeah.
And go across.
-Like, across your back?-Mm-hmm.
-More pressure, please.-Okay.
[video playing through phone]
You're trash, kid.
[door opens, closes]
-[Joseph sighs]-[Andrew] Hey.
Fun night?
Dinner and a movie and a[clears
throat] long ride home. [sighs]
We were just talking about you.
Was saying to Domino that
you, um, remind me of myself.
That's interesting.
[Joseph] Hmm.
-How?-How was Lola tonight?
She's great. She was great.
Um, we played 500 Rummy.
I love that game.
Where are your socks, man?
I, um [smacks lips] took them off.
They're in my shoesbecause
it was getting hot in here.
It is really hot in here.
Yeah, it was really hot at,
like, 20 minutes ago, especially.
Is that your shirt?
-It is, actually, yeah.-Class of 2018?
How old are you?
I'm, uh, I'm 22.
I don't even remember being 22.
I didn't realize you were that old.
Lots to figure out after college. [sighs]
Yeah, lots to figure out, always.
Want to help us figure out our stuff?
I'm sorry?
We've both had too much
to drink. Andrew, I'm sorry.
We're going to go to bed.
[Andrew]Yeah, no
worries at all. I'll leave you.
-I still got to pay you for sitting.-No,
it's fine. You can Venmo me.
Mmm. No, I got cash.
Thank you.
Good night, Domino.
[door closes]
What's the third lesson?
Be somewhere alone with her.
Quiet. Other people around is bad news.
So, say "Let's go somewhere quiet"?
Where the fuck is my Meat Stick vest?
-Don't you have multiple?-Yes.
But one's in the hamper.
I don't want to go to
workwith a smelly-ass vest on.
Can you help me for a second?
It's somewhere in this room.
Check my drawers or something.
You should just, like, ask her to
goto the water fountain with you.
That's where I had my
first kiss. You can, like...
Or you could just not say
anything, grab her hand
and start walking with
herand she'll be like,
"Oh, my God. Are we aboutto
have our first kiss right now?"
-Won't that be creepy?-Yes.
No, not if you pull it off.
[David] I don't think I can.
Well, you won't with that attitude,
David. Where is my Meat Stick vest?
[cell phone vibrates]
Hi, this is Andrew.
Hey, this is Mr. Ron.
I'm calling to offer you a
jobat Hope Loves a Friend.
Um, w-wow.
Uh, I think today's my last
day workingat Meat Sticks.
Thank you so much. I'm
so excited. Is this a prank?
I'm done working at Meat Sticks
[cell phone chimes]
Macy, what are you doing tonight?
-[club music plays]-[people cheering]
Excuse me, miss.
Mister bar...
What are you trying to get?
Who is the discount Bradley Cooper?
[laughs] He's getting vodka
sodasfor me and Lizzie.
Mm-hmm. How was your play?
It ended. And then we came here.
I'm not lying.
Oh, I don't think you are.
-Mister bartender.-[smacks
lips] Oh, good. Great.
[cell phone chimes]
["Put It Down" plays]
[Domino chuckles]
[Andrew] What?
I really want a cigarette.
Have one.
No, I quit. [clears throat]
Who's with Lola tonight?
My parents.
-Where is your fianc?-Chicago.
Why is he your fianc?
Why is he my fianc?
Yeah. What's going on there in
terms of, like, why he's your fianc?
You're drunk.
You walked in a tilde out here.
A tilde?
[laughs] Yeah, like the
Spanish accent over the "n".
I know what a tilde is.
-I know how to soft step.-[laughs]
I just don't want to right now. I want
to hear why you're getting married.
Because I want commitment.
It doesn't seem like that.
I know.
But I want to be firmly
plantedin adult world.
And I want to... I want
everything else to be shut down.
And I want to build something.
Is he your soul mate?
-Do you believe in soul mates?-Yeah, I do.
I think, on the Earth, we all
have, like, a ton of soul mates.
I think for you, maybe it's likea
special case where you only have a few
who, like, could beand
really are your soul mates.
But most of the peoplein the
world aren't your soul mate.
How many soul mates?
For you, like, four.
-Yeah. Four soul mates.-I
probably haven't met any of them.
No, you have. God puts them,
like, on your path so you'll cross.
How many do you have?
Like, 1,200.
Have you met any?
[inhales deeply]
Domino, Domino, Domino.
-[gasps]-[glass shatters]
[people gasping]
[Andrew]Oh, my God. That's a ton of blood.
Why do you want to go to Chicago?
Hmm. Because I want change and
I think I want to go to college andthere
are a lot more options in Chicago.
And I just feel likemy
whole life is happening there.
-You should definitely go to
college.-I knew you would say that.
But you should go hereso
Lola and I can hang out
when you're busy
studyingand doing your essays.
[Domino laughs]
I had this dream the other nightthat
I was working on the common app.
And Lola was there, and I couldn't focus.
And then you came in and you were like,
"Are you ready to turn it in?" And I just
freaked out.
I was freaking outbecause
I hadn't even started it.
And then you were like
"It's okay. You have plenty of time."
And I had side-swept bangs.
Did the side-swept bangs suck? Is
that why you're tearing up right now?
[laughs, sniffs]
Do you know I was married to Lola's dad?
He left.
I want to thank youfor
being so kind to Lola.
Easiest thing in the world.
I want you to be in Lola's life.
But I don't want youto
babysit for us anymore.
Because I want you to do your 20s.
I feel like there are thingsthat
you just, like, don't say to me.
And I can't tell whether you're,
like, holding back a desire to be close
or a desire to be distant.
For me, it's holding
back a desire to be close.
[Domino grunts]
["Forest Green" plays]
[both breathing heavily]
[car approaching]
-Oh, my God.-[horn honks]
You have to go. And you
have to go out that door.
Oh, fuck, he said tomorrow.
-Domino, look at me for a second.-No.
[Joseph] It's just me.
How are your friends?
I'm kissing Margs tomorrow.
-Andrew?-That's great. That's awesome.
Can you tell me the other lessons?
No. Not right now.
Because I don't have any lessons.
Every time you asked me for a lesson,
I just pulled something out of my ass.
And I don't want to do that right now.
Wait. S-So you've been messing with me?
David, can you please fuck off
right now? I don't want to talk.
[stammers] I don't have
any lessons. I don't know shit.
I guess I don't knowwhy
I thought you know shit.
You don't even have a girlfriend.
You want to get your ass kickedright
now? Is that why you said that?
-That's not funny.-I'm
not trying to be funny.
You're not the only one who can be mean.
You're not mean, David. You're
just really fucking annoying.
Hi, Andrew.
What's up, chiller? Hey, Joseph.
Hey, can you hold another thing right now?
It depends on what that thing is.
All right. Wait right there. Hold on.
[Lola] What is it?
[Andrew] It is
Oh, you know, just a MoYu 13-by-13.
It's for you, it's yours.
Thank you very much for this.
You sure you can hold it? Yes, you can.
That's really kind of you, Andrew.
Hey, Lola, why don't yougo
sit at that table over there
and claim our territorybefore
everybody gets here.
Listen, um, we haven't told Lola yet,
but we're not gonna need
youto babysit anymore.
Lots of reasons.
One of them being I finished my trial.
We settled.
Yeah. So, I'm actually
gonnabe taking some time off.
We won't need a sitter anymore.
Where's Domino right now?
She's at home.
Is she okay?
Yeah, she just didn't feel
like comingto a party tonight.
Why are you so fucking vague, man?
-What?-Is she, like, sick or what?
Look, Mr. Schindler's looking over herelike
he wants you to get back to your job.
I'm going to let you do that.
I'm gonna go sit with Lola.
Could you do me a solid? Could
you pour me, like, a straight water?
And by water I mean vodka.
[door opens, closes]
Stepdad Greg.
[Greg] Hey. I just showed
upwith your mom and brother.
Well, I didn't think you
were showing up alone
to Benjamin Schindler's bar mitzvah party.
[Greg] I hear we're driving you
homebecause you Ubered. Is that right?
That's right. Yes.
Although I feel like allthat
Uber money might be worth it
to not smell that fish in your car.
-What fish?-I have no idea.
I assumed you had many fish in your car.
-Did you put fish in my
car?-No, man, your car just reeks.
All right, Andrew.
Have a nice nightmaking
certain people feel happy.
Have a nice night hating your life.
Are you drunk right now, son?
I am. Yes. Sir, yes, sir.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Mr. Schindler wanted you to starta
while ago. Where have you been?
Doping. Tell him his
kid's party's gonna be lit.
Yeah, I'm going to tell himhis
kid's party starter was doping.
What? You stink.
[whispers] Nah, you stink.
You stink. You have a job to do right now.
Well, Mr. Schindler'swearing
a clown costume, so.
You start now and I'll tell
himyou were just pooping. Okay?
Okay, great. Tell him
whatever you want, Mom.
Okay, got it.
Jesus Christ.
-[David] Hey.-What?
I'm really sorry about last night.
I need advice. I'm really nervous.
Everybody's nervous.
You got it. I got to go.
Hello, everybody. Are
you guys ready for a circus?
[people cheering]
[Andrew]You ready for
some music? All right.
I know how hard it is for some
of youto get on the dance floor,
but the way we're going to start tonight
is everybody is gonna dothe Cha Cha Slide.
Every single person. No exceptions.
I'm literally not going to start the song
until every single person
ison the dance floor.
Hey. Um, do you want to walk
with meto the water fountain
while everybody's
dancingto the Cha Cha Slide?
["Cha Cha Slide" plays]
[chuckles] Yeah.
[music continues, muffled]
Are we just getting water, or
should we hang out back here?
Um, we can hang out back here.
Um, how was your soccer game?
Good. We won. [chuckles]
I scored a goal for you. [sighs]
That's nice.
-[guest 1] That's a really nice
necklace.-[guest 2] Whose cube is that?
Do you want to [inhales deeply]
Kiss? [chuckles]
[Lola] I just got it as a gift.
-[guest 1] Come on. Give it.-[Lola] No.
What are you looking at?
[Lola] Hey.
-I'll be right back.-All right.
[DJ Casper] To the
leftTake it back now, y'all
One hop this timeRight
foot, let's stomp
Left foot, let's stompCha
cha real smooth
Cha cha now, y'allNow
it's time to get funky
-Give my cube back.
Give it.-You're tall enough.
-[David] Give her her stuff back.-Get off.
-[grunts]-Oh, shit, Rodrigo.
[Lola] Fuck head.
[Andrew] Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
-Are you okay?-[parent] Hey!
Relax, relax. Relax.
-[Lisa] Hey!-Goddamn it.
-[yelps]-Hey, don't push my mom.
-[grunts]-[guest] Whoa!
[David] Yo, what the hell?
[Greg] Hey.
Andrew, there are boundariesthat
come with a professional gig.
Every profession has those boundaries.
Okay, but the way you putthat
man to sleep, stepdad Greg.
Andrew, this isn't funny.
Mom, I'm sorry that you got slugged,
but those kids that Rodrigoand
David were fighting are pricks.
Every kid in their gradeis
going to sleep very well tonight,
knowing they got their asses
kicked. Along with that prick dad.
-Now they won't fuck
with people.-The language.
Yeah. It was worth it, Mom and Greg.
Yeah, I've been waitingto kick
their asses for three years now.
And, Greg, that was the meanest
right hookl've ever seen, my boy.
Yeah, Greg. I did not know
you could move like that.
What are you, Jake Paul?
[all laughing]
[Rodrigo speaks indistinctly]
I knew you would like that
one, dog. He literally fell asleep.
Well, no one hits your mother.
Mom, it's not on the table.
-Did you look in my
bag?-Yes, it's not there.
I don't know. Maybe
it's on my bedside table.
Uh, look, I really don't
want youto drive right now.
-Greg, I had one
drink.-Where are you going?
I'm going to my friend's
housebecause she's sick
-and I want to go check on
her.-Why are you in such a hurry?
I'm not in a hurry. You need
toput ice on that. It looks horrible.
David, can you come upstairs with me?
And, you guys, ice your fists.
'Cause of your punches.
-Mmm, oh, yes, sir.-Yes, sir.
David, come up here.
I'm really sorry. I was
having a bad 24 hours.
-It's okay.-It's not
okay, but I'm really sorry.
-Did you have your first kiss tonight?-No.
You didn't? That's good.
That's actually really, really
goodbecause I realized something.
My lessons sucked.
They were, like, super misleading.
I kept telling youthat it
was all about Margaret
and about, like, giving
her all your attention,
but I forgot to say that you
haveto pay attention to yourself too.
It's not easy, like we were
saying. It's actually really hard.
Because you've got to
gofor what you want, too.
Kissing is for two people to enjoy.
I got to go.
Really, really, really
awesome shit tonight.
I'm so proud to be your big brother.
Love you.
-Andrew?-Yes. What?
Good luck.
Thank you.
Are you sick?
No, I just didn't want to go to the party.
W-W-What are you... It's not over.
It's not.
I just wanted to comeand tell you something
'cause I feel like I'm not goingto
get another chance to tell you
that I feel likeyou don't
want to get married.
So, I don't think that you should.
And I love you.
-You don't love me.-Yeah, I do.
And more than anything, I
just want you to be happy.
I am happy.
When I'm with you, I
feel so [chuckles] alive,
and I feel so special.
But that's because it's all
We're not in a relationship.
-But what if we were in a
relationship?-I don't know.
And I don't want to knowbecause you are 22,
and you deserve so much more than this.
You can't just decidethat
you love somebody,
and then that's that,
and everything's great.
-Yes, you can.-No, you can't.
Yes, you can. You can.
You don't even know who you are yet.
Giving your heart to somebody is
the scariest,
most dangerous,
most perplexing thing.
What if we just kiss? Maybe
you'll change your mind.
I want to marry him.
I do. I really want to marry him,
and I know that it doesn't seem like
thatbecause of what I do, but I want that.
It's just that I'm so scared
because the first one left.
He left me. [whimpers]
Marrying Joseph is the
thingthat will help you the most.
The other night you said that the
thingsthat really scare you are the things
that are gonna help you the most.
I had thought that you were...
I thought that you were talking about me.
Because I'm a-an idiot.
[car approaching]
-[engine revs]-[knocks]
I'm really sorry.
[Joseph] Roll the window down.
I'm really sorry, man.
I'm... I'm... I'm a dumb kid.
I know. It's okay.
Thanks for looking out for Lola tonight.
Andrew, look at me for a second.
Thanks for looking out for my family.
-You good to drive?-Yeah.
[breathes heavily]
[sobs] I'm drunk, now.
Mom, can you, um, can you
pick me upin Greg's car right now?
Yeah, I'm safe. Um,
everything is just, like, a mess.
["Smartest Man" plays]
-Hi.-[Mr. Ron] Andrew, this is Ashlin.
I've heard so many things
about you. I hear you're a
[no audible dialogue]
[music continues]
[no audible dialogue]
[music continues]
-[Lisa] Hello?-Hey, it's me.
I got off early. Can I get David?
-Are your keys in here?-[Lisa] Yeah.
-[Andrew] Mother.-Mm-hmm.
[Andrew] Can I tell you something?
I'm really sorry I gave youthat black eye,
is the first thing I wanted to
say. It looks really cool, though.
And I also want to tell you
that I have decidedl'm
not going to Barcelona.
But I do think I'm gonna move out soon.
I realize I have enough money.
But I don't thinkl'm
going to move very far.
That sounds great, babe.
I've been passing our old
houseon the way to work.
Like, I walk by it every day.
-You have?-Yes.
And I feel really
happyevery time I pass it.
And I just want you to know that.
Like, I have this urge to tell
youthat I had a really great childhood.
And I think you're a really great mother.
I hope you know that. I think that.
And I also really love your new house.
And I'm really happy that you're happy.
Are you trying to kill me?
[chuckles, sniffs]
[thunder rumbles]
[cell phone chimes]
[Domino] Yeah. Come here.
-[breathes heavily] Hey.-Hi.
For some reason, I was afraidl
was never going to see you again.
Well, I usually don't pick up David.
But today I got off work early, so
You really caught meoff
guard the other night.
I just didn't have a chance to
thinkabout what I wanted to say to you.
[inhales deeply]
It's not justthat I'm afraid of commitment
because I've been left before.
It's becauseyou're deeply in love with me?
-Yeah.-[both chuckling]
But what I was gonna say is that
it is really hard for me
to accept the fact thatuntil I leave Earth,
I'm gonna have always been so tangled.
She came when I was so young.
then everything from
therewas defined by her stages.
And then Joseph came
along, and I'm so thankful, but
for the rest of my life, everything
is going to be defined by them.
But you,
you only have you.
And how scary but how amazing.
You can just figure things out,
and you don't have to worryabout
bringing another person into it.
Yeah, um, I think you're so great.
I'm really sorry that...
It's okay.
-Well, dang, this sucks.-What does?
You just gave me, like,
your farewell speech.
So this means we're
saying goodbye.[chuckles]
I should go.
David doesn't think that I'm parking,
so I should get in... in the carpool line.
Um, and I don't want to see Lola.
I realized the other dayl probably
won't see her much anymore,
and that makes a lot of sense to me.
Yeah, but that makes me really sad.
Yeah, it makes me...
Makes me really sad too.
Gosh, you're really sweet.
No, I'm not. I just really love you guys.
But my memories aren't going anywhere.
Neither will mine.
Neither will hers.
Okay, well.
-Oh, wait. Hold on.-Yes?
I was... I was gonna tryand
get you this, um, card.
I was going to mail it and then
-I don't have... You don't have my address.
No, I don't really know anything about you.
-[laughs, sniffs]-But you can have it.
Thank you.
By the way, I do think I'm a soul mate.
But I know that Joseph is too.
[students shouting]
[Domino] Whoo!
[Domino] Whoo!
Do you want to talk about it?
No, not right now. Maybe
later. Thank you for asking.
Well, I'm... I'll probably
end up doing homework
at the dining room table,
so whenever you're ready.
David, I want to be friends forever, okay?
Can I tell you something sad, though?
I think I'm not going to be
livingin your room much longer.
I think it's probably timel
find my own place, right?
Yeah. I mean, that's probably
right. It's... It's a pretty tight space.
[chuckles] Yes, it is a very tight space.
Did you talk to Margaret today?
Um, yeah. We did some talking.
What? Shut your ass up right now!
Did you have your first kiss today?
You had your first kiss today.
What are you talking about right now?
At school? Oh, my God.
Okay, so we're... You're... We're
getting home right now.
You're going to do your
homeworkso freaking fast,
and then you're going to tell
meevery single solitary detail.
And then we're going to
breakinto Greg's secret fridge
and pop some bottles before he gets home.
[footsteps approaching]
Why do you look upset?
Why do you look upset?
-What's going on?-[sniffs]
Um. [breathing heavily]
I think I'm a little heartbroken too.
-What? Margaret?-[sighs] Uh.
[sniffs] No, no. It's [sniffs]
I'm going to miss you.
["Tools" plays]
I'm gonna miss you too, man.
[David sniffs]
[music continues]
-[no audible dialogue]-[music continues]