Chariot (2022) Movie Script

Amazing grace
How sweet
The sound
That saved a...
Restoril, Halcion, Silenor,
Belsomra, Sonata.
Uh, Ambien.
Edluar, Intermezzo.
Uh, Benadryl.
And then, um...
stimulus control therapy...
cognitive behavioral therapy,
sleep hygiene,
relaxation training,
and biofeedback.
Anything else? Probably.
And none of these traditional forms
of treatment have proven effective?
No, no. Um, that's
actually why I'm here.
You know, what you described in your
intake forms, a recurring dream,
is not all that unusual
a phenomenon in and of itself.
Well, I've had this dream
4,476 times.
Yes, that part is a bit unusual.
Have you ever encountered
a condition like mine?
Well, most of my patients
are suffering from more common
sleep disorders.
Insomnia, parasomnia,
Most of my patients.
To answer your question,
yes, I have treated a few people
who were experiencing
symptoms like yours.
How like mine?
There is a treatment
I have administered in the past,
a form of hypnosis,
for lack of a better term,
which greatly assisted
those others I mentioned
who were suffering
from a similar defect.
Sorry, poor choice of words.
The treatment is very effective.
It will eliminate
your recurring dream.
You know that other therapists before,
they said that they could help,
but nothing ever changed.
I will help you.
The dream will go away.
But... But?
Unless we have
a thorough understanding
of why you are having it,
after some time has passed,
the dream will come back.
Okay, so how do we...
Like you said,
I mean, how do we figure out
why I'm having it?
Well, we start
by having you recount it for me
in as much detail as possible.
It, uh... It takes place
in the house where I grew up.
It can help sometimes
to close your eyes.
Okay, so like I said,
I'm in the house
where I grew up.
I'm in the kitchen.
My mom is there cooking dinner.
She asks me
if I can run and ask my dad
if he remembered to get garlic
when he went to the store.
Sorry to interrupt.
Is this a memory?
I don't really know. I, uh...
Probably. I-I used to watch
my mom cook sometimes, but...
Interesting. Go on.
Uh, eyes open or closed?
Up to you.
Uh, so...
then I run down the hallway...
to the bedroom...
and my dad is there
watching football on TV.
And that's it. That's...
That's where I wake up.
It is extremely mundane.
There is
one strange thing about it.
What is it?
It's this... The thing is,
before I get to the bedroom,
there... there's...
Hanging from the ceiling
is a red string.
An attic?
Yeah. Why is that strange?
Because there was no attic
in the house where I grew up.
You're certain of this?
Yes. Could there have been one
and you were just unaware of it?
I mean, I-I lived
in that house for 18 years.
You know, I-I ran up and down
the hallway a thousand times.
Uh, when I was 14 or so
and the dream was driving me fucking
crazy, I actually got a ladder
and I took a hammer to the
ceiling right in that spot.
I just tore open the drywall,
but I didn't find anything.
Just insulation and wood.
I see.
So, um...
that's why I'm here.
It is.
Here you go. Thank you.
I'm sorry to bother you.
My name is Harrison Hardy.
I'm moving in today.
We spoke on the phone last week.
Actually, I have
my security deposit here.
I don't remember.
Oh, yeah.
I remember now. Ah. Hold on.
Come with me.
What... I thought you said
it was furnished.
Well, there's a bed,
and a fridge,
What you fucking want?
Martha Stewart?
No, you're right. It's great.
It's, uh...
It's perfect, actually.
Um, where's the laundry room?
See ya!
See ya.
Did you hear or read anything
about this building online?
Um, just that it was cheap
and furnished.
Fuck that.
Fuck that.
Harrison, can you go
ask your dad
if he remembered to get garlic
when he went
to the grocery store?
It is half past-00.
I'm gonna move your clothes.
That's it. I cannot wait
all day for this shit.
Ten more minutes.
Ten more minutes.
I mean, would I be pissed? No.
But then I would come get my
clothes out when they're done.
What are you gonna do,
leave them in there all day?
They're just gonna get
mildewy and gross.
Yeah, all right. Yeah.
I'd totally understand.
I would totally understand.
I'd get it. I'd love that. Okay.
Is that my laundry?
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
I was just...
I was gonna move
it to the dryer...
Are you okay?
Yeah, I... Sorry. Um...
I'm Maria.
You must be Harrison Hardy.
The new tenant in 429?
Um, yeah.
I'm in 630.
Right above you, two floors up.
May I? Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
How are we liking
the Lafayette so far?
Um... You know, it's, uh...
It's a little strange,
to be honest.
So, where are you from, Harry?
Uh, Riverside.
Oh. Never been.
Know anyone in the city?
Well, I know you.
Well, I'm very interested to know
how you ended up at the Lafayette.
Um, well, I just... I was looking for
a place that was cheap and furnished.
Well, I know what it's like
being new in town.
You don't know anybody.
Lonely, sad.
Um, so, if you want to come up
to my place later,
maybe have some dinner
and some drinks. I can...
answer any questions
you have about this place.
Oh, yeah. I mean...
Yeah, that... that... that sounds great.
That'd be really nice.
You eat meat? Yeah.
Or unless you don't.
I don't have to.
I love meat.
I'll make steaks.
Good evening.
Come in.
Welcome to my place.
Would you like the tour?
You like that, huh?
It's been in my family
for generations.
Mm-hmm. No idea
who it is, though.
Probably my great-aunt Marion.
Oh. Thanks.
So why are you here?
What... You invited me over.
At the Lafayette, I mean.
Uh, well, I...
I just found it online.
I just needed something
that was cheap and furnished.
The Lafayette collects
unusual people.
What? So what about you?
What makes you unusual?
Wow, you're... you're just...
You're, like,
really direct, you know.
It's, um...
I mean, we just... we just met.
I mean, I-I just don't really like
to talk about it with anybody.
Okay, well, it's...
Uh, I have a...
I just have this,
like, sleep thing.
Sleep thing?
What kind of sleep thing?
Insomnia, sleepwalking,
night terrors, apnea,
restless leg syndrome?
Oh, no. It's just...
It's a dream.
A dream?
It's a... It's a recurring dream.
I've had it
about 5,000 times in my life.
That seems like a lot.Yeah.
I mean, I think so.
That's actually...
That's why
I'm in the city currently.
I'm... I'm seeing
this new therapist.
He's supposed to be like one of the top,
uh, som... somnambulists in the world.
Sleep doctor. Yeah.
What's the dream?
It's really weird.
Uh, it's this thing
where I am...
I'm... I'm in the house where I
grew up and then I... It's just...
I-I run to ask my dad something
and then on my way to...
To ask him, there's an...
I see this attic out
of the corner of my eye,
but there was no attic
in the house.
It's fucking weird.
It doesn't make any sense.
Ah, like the house
on Ash Tree Lane.
What? So this therapist,
he's gonna help you understand
why you keep having the dream?
Help you figure out what's
in your nonexistent attic?
Maybe. I mean, it's... He said that he's
helped people like me before, so...
Well, I wonder
if I could help you.
Oh. I mean, I really appreciate
that, but it's actually...
It's one of those things
I've... I've just, um...
I've been struggling with it
for a long time.
I mean, it's kind of...
affected my entire life.
Would you say that
understanding your dream
is the thing you want more than
anything else in the entire world?
Maybe, or just
not having it anymore.
Have you tried acid?
What? No, why?
You think that will help?
Oh. I don't really smoke,
but thanks.
Uh, do you mind
if I use your restroom?
You're really pretty.
Like an actress or something.
I am an actress. What, really?
Have you been in anything
I might have seen?
It's getting late.
Oh, yeah. No, you're right.
I should, uh...
I should probably get going.
I didn't say you needed to go.
Just making an observation.
Okay. Yeah, you probably should.
I had a dream once.
I was in a house on a beach
and I was lying in bed.
And I was so sure,
absolutely, completely sure,
that out on the sand
outside this house
was a black horse.
I was so positive
there was a horse out there,
even though there was no reason
for there to be a horse.
And so in the dream,
I just couldn't take it anymore.
I got out of bed
and I marched to the window
and I looked out on the sand.
And there was a horse?
You can come over
tomorrow night if you want.
Maybe I can help you figure out
what's in your dream attic.
Good night!
Harrison, can you go
ask your dad
if he remembered to get garlic
when he went to the grocery store?
Hey, hey. Wait. Wait!
Okay, so...
I have some serious questions
about this apartment complex.
I bet you do.
Okay, first of all, room 408.
There's this weird sound
coming out of that room,
so I actually
got closer to the...
I touched the door.
I can't talk about 408.
Okay, well... Really?
I don't... Okay, well,
this morning I was, um...
I... I was up on the roof, uh...
There was this girl.
Charmagne. Yeah, she was, um...
Yeah. She was really good too.
But what was with the mask?
Charmagne has
the most beautiful face.
So much so that anyone
who looks at it, man or woman,
they just fall head over
heels in love with her.
And so she wears the mask,
so that people don't fall in
love with her all the time.
Maybe that's probably
for the best then, you know?
Okay, last but not least...
Mm-hmm. Last night...
there was a guy floating...
in the lobby.
Yeah, so, like, what's...
What's his story?
He floats.
I have to pee.
He floats.
Hey, you know, there's a...
There's a book in the middle of your floor.
Might want to move it.
It's kind of a hazard, don't you think?
Someone could trip on it.
I wouldn't do that
if I were you. Huh?
A very powerful wizard
used to live here before me.
And when he left,
he left this book.
And he told me
if anyone were to read
even one line from it,
they'd drop dead on the spot.
And you really believe that?
Didn't you hear me?
I said, a very powerful wizard.
Uh, I don't know.
I've heard you can have
kind of a crazy reaction to it,
you know, like lose your mind
or something so...
Harry, don't you know I'd never
let anything bad happen to you?
Harrison, can you go
ask your dad
if he remembered to get garlic
when he went to the grocery store?
I can just wait
for the next one.
No. There is no next one.
You spend the night
with Maria last night?
How did you...
Her smell is on you.
All over you.
But, um, yeah, it was... it was
really good talking to you, man.
Yeah. You too. So, I'll just
catch you later.
Oh, you're... Yeah, well...
So, this is what the units on this
side of the building look like.
Uh, yeah. Yup.
Sorry, I don't have
any beer or anything.
I work
at the nature center downtown.
You ever been? Uh...
N-No.Caretaker there.
I look after
the Arakan forest turtles.
Oh. Sweet. Nice.
Ever heard of 'em?
Uh, no, I can't say
I have, actually.
That's because they're one of the
most endangered species on the planet.
Oh. Well, then how many do you
guys have at the nature center?
Guess how many are left
in the entire world.
The last two.
Wow, that's...
That's really sad. I mean, you
know, that they're almost ex...
Don't say that.
Come on. Be positive, man.
Yeah. All right.
But yeah.
It's pretty goddamn sad.
The two that we have
are male and female,
the actual last
of their species.
So as you can imagine,
the most important
aspect of my job
is trying to convince them
to breed.
You know how stressful that is?
I got a lot of problems
in my life, you know?
Girls, money, health.
It's easy to just leave my job
at work and forget about it.
But then I think,
"The continued existence"
of an animal that's been
living on this planet
for tens of thousands of years
is my sole responsibility.
"What are my problems
compared to that?"
I have to get
those two turtles to fuck.
It's the most important thing
in the world.
Do they not want to?
How the hell
am I supposed to know?
I can't exactly ask them.
They're turtles.
Right, I'm just wondering
if they seem, um...
Interested in each other.
I do everything I can
to make their surroundings
as comfortable as possible.
I put a little bed
in their tank, you know?
I put leaves on it.
I tried playing
sexy music for 'em, even.
Does any of that work?
Hasn't yet.
I really hope that works out.
You hope that it works out?
You hope that this species
continues to exist
on this planet?
How kind of you.
Next time things
are going bad for you,
and you have some big problem
that's so important...
remember those turtles.
The dream changed.
Just a tiny, tiny bit.
I, uh... I...
I glanced up at the string.
Directly at it. And that was it.
And this was
right after your evening with...
What was her name? Maria.
I see. What do you think happened?
I don't... know for certain.
Your condition is very rare.
Condition? What?
Well, you're experiencing
the... dream symptom.
It is?
Yes. And it...
I'm surprised
it didn't occur to me earlier.
Your whore friend Maria.
What? What?
What did you say?
What did you just say?
What... What's wrong?
It sounded like you...
Did you just call Maria a whore?
No, of course not. Why on earth
would I have done that?
I said, "Your friend Maria."
What about her?
It's just curious that...
that you would meet her now.
The timing of it all.
No matter. I think
that on your next visit,
we should start the treatment.
I think you're ready.
The hypnosis?
Okay. Um...
You said you wanted
to understand the dream better
before we did that.
I think I do now.
One sec.
Coming, coming, coming, coming.
Hey! Aw!
Cute place.Thanks. Uh, I haven't
really had a chance...
Have I told you about my
friends Lauren and Oliver?
They live in 201.Uh...
No, I don't think so.
Lauren's my best friend
and Oliver, well...
Oliver's a fucking prick.Yeah.
You'll meet them soon.
Lauren works for Rory Calhoun.
You obviously know
who that is. No, I don't, actually.
Oliver just loves the theater.
I mean, you wouldn't expect it.
So last month they came to see
me at the center in Ruston.
It was Cymbeline...
but with lesbians.
Which, now that I think
about it, is kind of ironic.
Anyway, they brought Rory,
and I guess
Rory liked my performance
and was super impressed with me.
So he wanted me to send him
something of me on tape,
because he thinks I might be right
for a role in his upcoming film.
I mean,
can you believe that? Oh, wow.
That's amazing. He's interested.
That's so cool. In me.
I'm sorry, but I
don't know who he is.
This is the most important thing
that has ever happened to me
in my entire life.
Do you want me
to help make the video?
Yes, I want you to help operate.
Okay, I don't really know
how to do this.
Yeah, you press record,
and then you press stop.
And, uh, say "action."
Okay.Okay. Okay.
One second. How's it look?
Yeah, it look... it looks great.
Are you ready?
And action!
I was continuing to shrink.
To become... what?
The infinitesimal?
What was I?
Still a human being.
Or was I a man of the future?
In that moment, I knew
the answer to the riddle
of the infinite.
You see, I had thought
in terms of man's own
limited dimension.
I had presumed upon nature.
That existence begins and ends
is man's conception,
not nature's.
And I felt my body dwindling.
Becoming nothing.
My fears melted away.
And in their place
came acceptance.
All this vast majesty
of creation.
Surely, it had
to mean something.
And then I meant something too.
Yes. Smaller than the small,
I meant something too.
Say "cut."
Oh, cut.
Hmm. Oh. How was that?
I don't know what to say.
No... I think it was perfect.
Really? Yeah.
Okay, well, if I need
to do another take,
I know where
to find you. I'll be here.
Now I have to go get ready
for my party tonight.
Oh, my God. I didn't tell you
I'm having a party tonight, huh?
Um, no, I don't think so.
Would you like to come to my party tonight?
I would be honored.
Yeah, sure. Ah! Great.
What time? We're gonna have so much fun.
Now that I have this done,
I feel better.
What time?
Oh! Maria, you...
You left your shoes.
Simone, darling.
Thank you for coming.
Yeah, this is great. Oh!
Have you gotten a drink yet?
Uh, no, not yet.
Remember I told you
about Lauren and Oliver?
Yeah. They're here.
Do you want to meet them?
Sure. Come on.
She told me
she was gonna be here.
Hello, gorgeous.Hi.
Will Oliver be joining us?
Yeah, 20 minutes
or so, I reckon. Oh, soon.
I hear him whispering already.
This is Harrison Hardy.
The new tenant in 429.Mm-hmm.
The one with the sleep thing.
And this is Lauren Reitz.
And this is Oliver Black.
It is so nice
to meet you, Harrison.
Maria's told me
such great things.
Uh, I'm sorry,
Lauren Reitz and, uh...
What was it?
Lauren shares her body with a 55-year-old
British man named Oliver Black.
His birthday was last week.
A Gemini? Yeah.
Well, then it's very nice
to meet the two of you, I guess.
I'm gonna get you a drink.
What do you want? A cocktail?
Um... Just a beer is fine.
Sure. Thank you.
Just a bit of advice.
I wouldn't let them
get your drink.
Lauren is trustworthy,
but Oliver will roofie you.
And I'd be careful what I say
about one to the other.
Because I'm not entirely sure
what they can and can't hear.
If you know what I mean.I...
Isn't she cute?
Here you go. Thank you.
So, welcome to Lafayette.
Settling in?
Um... Kind of, yeah.
Tell me about this dream thing.
Sounds interesting.
You know, I'd really rather not.
It's... It's pretty embarrassing.
Come on. We're all
a little embarrassing here.
Yeah, she's always trying
to set me up with guys.
I appreciate it, you know,
but tell her she's got to stop.
And I know she means well,
but I'm a fucking lot to handle.
Oh, no. You seem great.
That's really sweet
of you to say.
But you haven't met him.
Tell me, though, if I wasn't
possessed by an old British man,
would you be attracted to me?
I... You're very pretty.
I try to look
on the bright side, you know?
At least I only have
one interloper.
I mean, I could be
like Truddi Chase.
He is the interloper,
though, right?
What does this body
look like to you?
Uh, what? Uh, it...
You look like a young woman.
A beautiful young woman?
Um, I'd say so, yes.
There you go.
He does like
to watch me have sex.
It makes it
really hard to focus.
Uh, hmm. Hmm.
I'm gonna go get another.
You want one? I'm good here. Thank you.
Pardon me.
Have you seen my sister? I
can't seem to find her anywhere.
Hmm. No, I'm...
I'm sorry. I can't.
I don't know
where your sister is.
Look at this. Hey!
Oh, fuck.
You smoking inside? Fuck is it to you?
Oh! If it ain't the prick who's scheming
to get into little Lauren's knickers.
Let me save you
the fucking sweet talk.
A slam dunk. Come on.
Take a sniff, sniff, sniff.
Stop, don't do that.
Don't. Come on.
Wow, you must be Oliver.
And you must be
"who gives a fuck?"
Okay, so when...
When you're here,
Lauren is
completely unavailable?
What do you care?
I... I just enjoy talking to her.
She seems nice.
She's a cunt just like you.Okay.
Well, she seems nice.
Oh, yeah, you'd know
better than me, wouldn't you?
What, you've known her
30 minutes?
And I've lived
inside her for 30 years.
Oh, you've been
inside her that long?
Got another fag, fag?
It must be really hard.
Yeah, of course it's hard.
What, you think I like giving
blow jobs and being buggered?
What, I look
like a fucking homo to you?
What I want to do
is shove my cock
up her friend Maria's arse
and make her scream.Okay.
But guess what?
I ain't got no cock.
What about you? You aren't horny?
Stop! Come on, knock it off.
Where have I seen you before?
You say you've never been
to Sussex?
No. Can't say I have.
Oh, that's right.
It was a photograph.
I'll never forget a face
as ugly as yours.
If Lauren finds you attractive,
she's even dumber
than I thought.
Wait, did you say photograph?
Yeah. Mutual acquaintance
showed it to me.
Who? I ain't saying.
She might be listening.
Maria. Hey.
Leave me alone.
It's you.
I'm sorry
you didn't find me sooner.
Mmm. So, how are the turtles?
Still virgins.
That sucks, man.
It does.
You know what's
total fucking bullshit?
What's that?
I'm serious. Like, what
the fuck are we doing here?
You know, we're on this
planet, what, 80 years?
And that's it?
Like, what is that?
It's fucking nothing.
I mean,
in the grand scheme
of the whole universe,
you know what that is?
That is a goddamn
fart in the wind.
You know what? Actually,
it's not even a fart. We're...
It... It's a shadow of a fart.
You and I are shadows of a
fucking fart in the wind.
It's not enough time, you know?
I don't wanna die.
I wanna live forever.
I mean, I like myself, David.
I don't wanna know myself
for just a shadow-fart span.
It's not enough, you know?
I like me.
I like who I am.
I don't wanna die.
Just everything...
everything we are...
everything we own...
these... these bodies,
our memories...
everyone we know,
all goes away in the end.
And we're just... What?
Yeah, exactly.Man...
you got some dark thoughts
inside that head.
Excuse me, Rory.
There's some people here
to see you.
Who are they?
I thought I had no meetings
this afternoon.
You know I've been working
on that counteroffer.
'M sorry.
They're on their way. Wow, what?
Hey, no.
Hello, Rory.
The arrangements we made
previously seem suitable.
I require your assistance
in a new matter.
Nothing too strenuous,
I assure you.
You promised me.
I'm sorry, you were saying?
I require your assistance
in a new matter.
Nothing too strenuous,
I assure you.
Just a simple procurement.
Your involvement
will be minimal.
I know what our arrangement is.
But you told me
I fulfilled my obligation.
You had, but this current
development was... unexpected.
I still have fucking nightmares
about the last time.
I know.
So you can't just... just, uh...
come in here
and ask me to help you.
Again, I'm...
I'm really busy. I'm busy.
And I-I have been working
on this counteroffer.
I understand. I do,
however, have one question.
Where am I?
Who the fuck are you?
Tell me, Rory...
do you enjoy existing?
You look amazing.
Really? I'm so nervous.
Don't be. Rory's a sweetheart.
You're gonna love him.
I hope he likes me.
Come on.Okay.
Get me someone. Anyone.
Hey, Maria.
Come on.
Help me.
Help me. Help me.
Help me.
Help me, help me,
help me, help me...
Help me, help me,
help me, help me...
Help me.
Hel... Help me.
911, what's your emergency? Hi, um...
Actually I don't know
if it's an emergency,
but I just got a call
from a friend
and I think she might be
in some kind of danger.
Please hold. Oh... Yeah. Okay.
Help me.
H-Hello? Harry, help me.
Rory Calhoun's office.
How can I help you? Shit.
Rory Calhoun.
Oh, my God.
Okay, okay, okay...
Rory Calhoun's office.
Hello? Yeah. Hello.
How can I help you?
Um, I actually got
a strange call from this number.
Who am I speaking with?
Who am I speaking with?
Please hold. No, wait, wait, wait.
Sorry for the wait. I've
got Mr. Calhoun for you now.
Wait, what? No, no, no.
No. Please don't.
Help me.
Harry, help me.
Maria, is... is that you?
Hello, Harrison.
Good to see you.Hi. Um...
Something really strange is going on.
I don't know, uh...
Something like... Maria might
be in some sort of trouble.
How so?
I don't... I don't know.
Never mind. It's...
We're supposed to do the...
The hypnosis today?
We are.Okay.
Well, I should tell you then,
the dream,
it continued to expand.
This time I-I...
I pulled down the string,
I climbed up the ladder and I
actually peeked into the attic.
I-I... see, and wh...
What was in there? Photographs.
Boxes of them, like these... you know,
those old-style Polaroid photos?
There were just stacks of them.
And did you look at any of them?
Yeah. Uh, there... there were
pictures of people, uh...
Some of them I recognized,
but mostly strangers.
I see.
Well, I think we should begin
with this treatment.
Are you ready?
Sure. Close your eyes.
What I am going to do now
is give you a riddle.
It will only take a moment
and when I'm finished,
you will undergo a change.
But you must pay
very close attention
and do not interrupt me
once I start.
Do you understand?
Yes, but, uh, before we start,
what did you mean the other day
when you said it was curious
that I met her now?
I'm not sure I understand.
You said it was curious
that I met Maria now.
The timing of it all.
Let's discuss that further
after we've begun the hypnosis.
And you definitely
didn't call her a whore?
I definitely did not.
She's quite pleasant, I'm sure.
Three brothers are traveling
and stop at an inn one night
and ask for a room.
The cost of the room is...
Is... That scared
the fuck out of me.
I am so sorry.
It's fine. I swore I turned
that fucking ringer off.
I have no idea what that was.
Let's begin.
Three brothers are traveling
and stop at an inn one night,
and ask for a room.
The cost of the room
is 30 gold pieces.
Each brother pays
ten gold pieces.
I thought you said
you turned it off.
I did.
I did. Clearly, it's...
It must be malfunctioning.
I'll have Cindy
buy a new one. Answer it.
Excuse me? Pick it up.
It... It's unplugged.
Clearly, it's broken.
Answer it.
Answer it, please.
Answer it or we won't be able
to continue with your riddle.
I'll just...
put it outside.
Help me.
Harrison, wait!
Lauren, hey. Uh, I was actually
gonna come and try and find you.
Maria's gone. I went to her
apartment and it's completely empty.
Do you know what's going on?
Smells like moldy cheese
in here.
Wait, did you hear
what I said? Maria...
Maria's gone.
She's in trouble or something.
This place could definitely use
a woman's touch.
If I happen to meet one,
I'll be sure to let her know.
Are either of you even
listening to me right now? Maria's fine!
I just seen her the other day
at Rory Calhoun's office.
Dressed like a whore, she was.
She's probably
under his desk right now.
No. Okay, well,
I was actually
just up at her apartment
and it's completely empty.
Well, ain't that a shame.
Hmm. Guess she moved out then.
Too bad. I guess I never
get to fuck her after all.
No, moved out? What?
She's not moved out.
What do you mean, "moved out"? What you
mean, "what do I mean"? She fucking moved.
Probably get far away
from your annoying arse.
It ain't her they're really after.
Wait, what do you mean?
Whoa. Whoa. Hold on. What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I ain't gonna pretend like I
understand what this is all about,
but there's some people
you just can't say no to.
What? Well, they can't
come in here.
So they needed someone...
on the inside.
Whoa. Okay.
Oh, I'm gonna see
if I can remember this properly.
Three brothers
are traveling along a road
and they come to an inn where
they plan to stay the night.
Wait, wait, stop. What?
How do you know that?
Let me finish.
The cost of the room
is 30 bites of gold,
so each of the brothers
put in ten apie...
Sorry about that.
As I was saying, it's ten apiece
so the manager wants to give
them a discount of five gold...
What the bloody fuck
are you doing?
What are you doing?
So he gives five...
gold pieces
to the bellboy
to take back to...
Stop it!
Just calm down, both of you.
The bellboy says
he can't split five evenly...
among three.
Take it easy. Jesus Christ.
Bloody fucking hell.
FuckYou all right?
Just run, run, run! All right, I'm just...
Lauren works for Rory Calhoun.
You obviously know who that is.
Maria's fine.
I just seen her the other day
at Rory Calhoun's office.
Dressed like a whore, she was.
What the fuck.
I know.
I know, I know.
I'm sorry about all of this.
But I got the call earlier today
and when they call,
I have to answer.
Because everyone in this world
has to answer
to somebody, right?
Well, except for...
But then...
this world, am I right?
Where's Maria?
I'm sorry. Who's Maria?
Come on!
What the fuck is going... Please.
You know, Maria.
Where's... Oh, oh, Maria.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That girl.
That... That actress
who sent me in
that really weird tape. Her?
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
How the hell should I know?
I can't possibly
cast her in anything.
Why do you keep calling me?
Who's the woman
on the phone? Listen,
I don't have the answers
you're looking for, pal. Okay?
So, I am just doing
what I'm told.
Now... She was... She was...
We really gotta go.
Please, no, no!
See ya, Harry.
Yup, see you soon.
Thank you, Rory.
Your services
are no longer needed.
I did try to do it the easy way.
You can close your eyes
if you like.
Three brothers are traveling
along a road one night.
They stop at an inn
and the cost for the inn
is 30 gold pieces.
They each pay ten.
The manager decides
to give them a discount.
Perhaps the inn
isn't too crowded that night.
He gives five gold pieces
to a bellhop
and tells him to return it
to the men.
The bellhop decides he cannot
divide it evenly between the three,
so he pockets two for himself
and returns one gold piece
to each of the men.
Each man gets back
one gold piece.
So now they've given
nine apiece.
Nine, three times, is 27.
The bellhop pocketed two.
Add that to the 27
and you've got 29.
But you started with 30.
Where is the missing piece?
I hope you know that
this is absolutely not personal.
The system is mostly infallible.
I have no idea
who put it into place or why.
But it works.
You live, you die,
you live, you die.
You live, you die,
and we collect these
each time.
But sometimes,
there is a glitch.
Generally, nobody has any idea
why it happens,
but in your case...
it was the girl.
Whatever the problem is,
when there is one...
they send me in to clean it up.
You should stand back.
So how did your brother
meet this girl again?
Do I call her "Susie"?
Um, I don't know.
I mean, I-I think
she was a friend of a friend,
of a friend?
Something like that.
We shall find out.
Do you know
where we're going to eat?
So Cory cooked. Oh, God.
Where should you and I
go out to eat after?
I was thinking maybe sushi?
Did you pay the sitter?
Yeah. Did it not go through?
She's saying
it didn't go through.
Likely story. Well, I'll send it again.
She's amazing
and Ella loves her so much.
All right. Ready?
Let's do this.
Babe, they're here.
I heard the knocks.
Hey, how are you guys?
You look fantastic.
Thanks for coming. How you doing, buddy?
Are you guys hungry? Starving.
Food's almost ready.
How about a drink? Let's do it.
Yeah, well, what is this?
What did you get me?
Thank you.
Keeping it tight. Nice and fresh...
Honey, you okay?
When I was done dying
My conscience regained
So I began my struggle
A nothingness strained
Out a flash made of time
My new form blasted out
And it startled me so
And I burst out a shout
At which my legs ran frantic
Like birds from a nest
And I ran until drained
Leaving no choice but rest
So I fell asleep softly
At the edge of a cave
But I should have gone deeper
But I'm not so brave
And like that I was torn out
And thrown in the sky
And I said all my prayers
Because surely I'll die
As I crashed down and smashed
Into earth, into dirt
How my skin did explode
Leaving only my shirt
But from shirt grew a tree
And then tree grew a fruit
And I became the seed
And that seed was a brute
And I clawed
Through the ground
With my roots and my leaves
And I tore up the shirt
And I ate up the sleeves
And they laughed out at me
And said
"What is your plan?"
But their question
Was foreign
I could not understand
When then suddenly
I'm ripped up
And placed in a mouth
And it swallowed me down
At which time I head south
I said, "Hey, ya, ya
Hey ya, ya "
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya Hey,
ya, ya Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya Hey, ya,
ya Hey, hey, hey"
I woke up to see them
These two mighty steeds
With their mouths
Grinning wildly
Expressing my needs
As they stood there above me
Being flanked on each side
I felt no need to fear them
No reason to hide
So I reached up to touch
But they faded too soon
Yet their mouths
Still remained
And stacked up
Towards the moon
How that ladder of mouth
Waved so soft in the night
And I looked up in awe
At that beautiful sight
And I dreamt about climbing
Into the night sky
But I knew had I touched them
They'd mouth back "Bye-bye"
So I got up and walked
Down the path in the dark
And there deep
In the distance
My eye caught a spark
Of a crab twice my size
With incredible strength
Oh, it greeted me kindly
And then we all drank
And we drooled out together
Right onto the ground
And the ocean grew quickly
Right up all around
And the earth looked at me
And said, "Wasn't that fun?"
And I replied
"I'm sorry if I hurt anyone"
And without even thinking
Cast me into space
But before she did that
She wiped off my own face
She said
"Better luck next time
Don't worry so much"
Without ears
I couldn't hear
I could just feel the touch
As I fell asleep softly
At the edge of a cave
But I should have
Gone deeper
But I'm not so brave
I said, "Hey, ya, ya "
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, ya, ya
Hey, hey, hey"