Cherry Pop (2017) Movie Script

Let me ask you something.
Do you know what
a dream actually is?
How about a memory?
I'm actually asking you.
Well, I once heard that memory
is about dreams from our past,
and dreams are about
memories from our future.
I guess it makes sense,
both dreams and memories
are somewhat shapeless
and hard to define.
this is my memory
about a dream I once had.
A dream to perform,
in my own way,
and as long as I got to do that,
nothing else
really mattered at the time.
You see,
when I arrived that night,
and yes, this is the memory,
I was scared shitless.
I was about to follow a dream,
but in doing so,
I was getting way more
than I bargained for.
No, no, no, no,
no, let me tell you something.
I know that motherfucker
around here somewhere,
because I tell you what,
I got that track his ass app
he was telling me about.
Talking about he
going to get some milk.
-Who take two - -?
-Excuse me?
Excuse you.
What the fuck?
I'm sorry,
I'm just trying to get to - -.
No, what you're trying
is my mother fucking patience.
What are you,
sneaking around here.
You the FBI?
The NSA?
-The CIA?
-I'm sorry.
Bitch please. Hello, girl..
You here for the show?
Yeah, yeah,
I'm here for the show.
Right, sorry.
Here you go.
I'm actually in the show.
You sure you're not lost?
This is the Cherry Pop, right?
Go on then.
Dressing room's in the back.
Great, thanks.
Don't make eye contact with him.
Fucking queers.

But in doing so, I was getting
way more than I bargained for.
Fucking lights.
Cherry Pop wasn't exactly
the place to be at the time.
But I was prepped and ready.
Nothing was gonna
stand in my way.
I wanted to be on that stage.
Looks like Dorothy got lost.
That's tonight's cherry.
-He's the cherry?
-Hey, you got here.
He's the cherry?
I'm Michael, the night manager.
Were you running late
or something?
No, why?
You know where
the dressing room is?
Yeah, back there, right?
the show starts in about 20,
but you got
a while till you're up.
So take your time.
Okay great.
You nervous?
Yep, a little.
But I, I've been warming up
the vocal chords all day.
For the after party?
No, for the singing.
Honey, there's no singing, just
move your lips to the words.
I, I understand, but,
I told the day manager
that I'm actually singing.
He said it was fine.
Well, I don't.
Meet Michael.
His dreams never came true.
And I'm pretty sure
he didn't want anyone else's
to come true neither.
And it's night now and not
day, so what I say goes.
-Yeah, yeah, but you...
I got to get back to work.
But if you need anything,
let me know.
-Yeah, but it's a big part of...
-Break a heel.
Just to clarify for all of you
who might be
a little confused right now.
I was a normal guy
with a normal life
that I was lucky enough
to share with an amazing person.
So, why didn't I just leave
when I was told
I couldn't sing as promised?
Well, the answer is that
singing was only
a part of the performance.
I had this dream, I wanted
to have the experience
of giving others an experience.
But finding the stage
to kickstart your dreams on
is not an easy task.
And that is how
I ended up at Cherry Pop .
You see, Cherry Pop
wasn't your normal dive bar
with an open mic.
It was a drag club.
Taken two,
the sequel, honey.
I'm not really sure
what I had expected.
You can't sit here.
But feeling like it was my
first day of school was not it.
Anyway, let's start
with the queen of queens.
Get your ass out here.
My Marcello.
What am I supposed
to do without you?
If only you could see
what's become of this place,
of me.
How am I supposed to follow such
talentless drool
without you?
What's the point when the only
good thing about this shithole
went away with your last breath.
You left me.
They say Zaza had the potential
to be the biggest drag queen
the world had ever seen.
Not only because she broke
seven feet in heels,
but because her
performance as the first cherry
was supposed to be the greatest
drag number of all time.
Garnering a three-hour standing
ovation that was just ending
by the time she reached home.
But it never would have happened
without her long-time muse,
lover and collaborator Marcello.
He was her Mona Lisa.
Her inspiration.
And when he died
shortly before my arrival,
she lost all reason to tuck.
She handled it quite well.
Hey, hon.
I'm Ariela, did you want a seat?
Thank you.
So, you're our cherry tonight?
Laundry day?
What? No.
Why? W - - why?
Never mind.
Okay, hey,
they always this warm?
Only to the cherry.
Don't worry about
Skid Row over there.
Some sort of
friendly hazing, or...?
No, this is just
them being friendly.
Everybody goes through it.
So, how long does it last?
As long as you do.
And then if you
survive the night,
you get to come back
and join us again.
I was the last cherry
to make it.
-How long ago was that?
-A few months ago.
That's high standards for
such a fine establishment.
I mean, sorry.
This gig isn't what
it was supposed to be,
so I'm not sure
if I'll be back anyway.
Because you think this
is where we want to be?
Hon, this is where dreams go
after they're dead
and gone and buried,
six months rotting,
here we are.
You found yourself
at the same place.
I swear to God, Zaza,
if you don't come out,
I will get them to tow your car.
I will do it.
Not my reserve spot.
I'll fucking do it.
You wouldn't dare.
You just,
you just gonna sit here?
Did you want
me to sit there?
Being raised on a farm
had earned Kitten
a rare degree of patience,
a trait extremely useful
for a hostess at Cherry Pop .
She'd left home
at the mature age of 15
and followed her dream
to move to the big city.
A couple of years
and street corners later,
she eventually ended up here.
But you could
still see that twinkle
of a little farm boy's dream
shining bright in her eyes.
My God,
Zaza, I'm serious.
The show starts
in like, two minutes.
I don't care.
Tell them I'm dead.
Wish I could.
All right, look.
You're on suicide watch tonight.
No, honey, that was last week.
But thank you for being aware.
What are you talking about?
The TV show, Suicide Watch .
That was last week's
episode that I was on.
No baby, no.
No, no, no.
to stay outside this door
and make sure Zaza
doesn't kill herself.
You know, c...
Thank you.
I'm just gonna see....
what is wrong with my clothes?
You're the cherry?
Okay, whatever.
Listen, you go on
towards the end of the show.
-Okay, great.
-Just before Zaza, got it?
-Yes. 'Cause I was...
-All right, good.
That's good.
I was trying to tell, Michael,
that I'm supposed to sing live.
Sing live?
Yeah, that's my act.
I sing live.
Honey, we're all singers.
Bam, I have three albums.
You don't see me complaining.
So just go out there
and you're gonna
do what you're told.
-Okay but...
-No, no.
-No, but...
Bop, sh.
Good girl.
Ariela, it's your mom, girl.
-I'm sorry, your mom's here.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, I - - I.
-Your mom's here.
-I get, I...
Your momsy
came to see you today?
I just, I don't know.
-You want the...?
-No keep them.
They're good actually.
This is what, I was really
into, scat for a while.
Not jazz,
just I was into... scat.
Like scooba-dubba-dop-dop-doop?
You're new in town.
You're new.
I'm gonna tell you about scat.
Okay, okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
So, if you're free later.
Honey, hey pumpkin.
Hey, Mom.
What are you doing here?
I, I'm here to watch the play.
God, okay.
Makeup's a little heavy.
Is it one of those Asian plays?
I've told you a thousand times,
mom, that we're drag queens.
You're playing a queen?
How Shakespearean.
Ariela's mom always
dreamt of having a daughter
with whom she could dress up,
play Barbies,
and have tea parties with.
Instead, she had a son.
Whom to her surprise
enjoyed being dressed up,
playing with Barbies
and attend tea parties
as much as the
neighborhood girls.
But even so, she was still
waiting for the day her prince
would bring a real princess
into their lives.
Okay, I have to go.
Okay, I just wanted to wish you
luck before your show, honey.
-I'm gonna go.
Is Brenda coming?
I'm not sure
if Brendan is coming.
If she comes,
you tell her to text me, okay?
Well, if he does
I'll let you know, if HE does.
-Him, him.
Come on.
Break legs, I love you.
Yes, it's fine for now.
I just wouldn't touch the box.
Great, thanks Hector.
So we're good
for tonight, right?
Yes, we are.
-Just don't touch the box.
-Okay, great.
Hector, thank you.
We're pretty swamped back here,
so I'm gonna get back to it.
Sure, yeah.
Half past already.
Hey, there's a show tonight,
Ye - - yes, yes.
It'll be starting
any minute.
We're just running
a little bit late.
Hey, this damn.
I'm not sure what
Terry wanted in life,
but he sure did love
the Cherry Pop queens.
I mean this guy
never missed a show.
Every week he was there, even
though he wasn't supposed to.
You know, because
of the restraining orders.
What time is it?
- It's Terry time.
- Jesus.
Hey, will you
watch the bar for me?
I got to check in the back,
see what the hell's going on.
Angry little
mother fucker, ain't he?
-Hey, Terry.
-Eric, my man.
Hey, the show
hasn't started yet?
It'll be on soon now.
Delicious, I think
I'm gonna get me a seat.
You mind fixing me a drink?
One Terry and tonic, yes sir.
Eric, my man.
All right, and make sure you put
your tip on my tab, all right?
I got you, I got you.
what the hell is going on?
I'm trying to get Godzaza to
come out of her fucking cave.
I don't care.
Start the show without her.
Zaza, open this door.
I'm untucking.
Don't you dare untuck.
What are you doing?
I'm choosing a monologue.
This one's
got a cowboy in it.
Like that movie, you know,
Broke ass Mountain.
We said we broke up,
see, so you know I...
- I know, I know.
- Is this seat taken?
Hey girl.
Drop it.
That's beautiful.
Is that southern?
Not when I'm upside down.
Like the writer?
No, like the volcano.
Eric my man, all right.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Pardon me, excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse - - excuse me.
Excuse me!
Rude ass mother fucker,
like you own the place.
Around here, Terry's table.
Show you what...
you are looking fabulous.
You look just like a real girl.
Isn't that
what we all hope for?
Are you in the show?
Heaven's no.
I'm no Joan Crawford,
but I do have my respect
for proper hangers.
You know what I mean?
No, actually,
my son is in the show.
Like father, like son.
Sure, I guess there
are things in common.
Excuse me,
why are you touching my things?
According to Choriza,
she was once the most
beautiful girl of her village.
I don't know what women
from there look like,
but she had moved here
in hopes of becoming
the next Miss America.
I know, long story short,
she ended up working
a lot of odd jobs
and living in a lot of random
places with other immigrants
until she ended up
working here at Cherry Pop .
Legally, of course.
What do you mean things?
My makeup, honey.
Gosh, Choriza,
just leave her alone.
Andale , shoo, shoo.
She touching my makeup.
I'm sorry, I thought
it was the dressing room's.
Here, hon, just take this.
You're gonna want to use that,
that's probably made in Mexico.
Mira, pendeja.
First of all,
I'm not from Mexico, okay,
I'm from Puerto Rico.
So technically, I'm American.
And secondly,
my makeup, from China.
And speaking of makeup,
where the hell is my
God damn mascara?
Well, honey, I would be more
concerned with those eye brows.
Well, the one eyebrow
that you've got going on,
more than I'd worry
about those eyelashes.
I'd worry about them damn
teeth you got in your mouth
before you worry
more about them lips.
You Mister Ed
looking mother fucker.
Meet Collin and Latron,
our very own odd couple.
Collin was
an Ivy League graduate
and the son of a senator
from Connecticut
who dreamt about
fame and fortune.
I always knew her as Blanquisha.
Latron was from a low-income
family in the south
and dreamt about the exact
same thing.
I knew her as White Chocolate.
Did you think
this was Collin?
Tsk, tsk, did you
vote for Trump as well?
Bet it was you
that stole my makeup.
Do we now?
You use
foo-foo mascara as well?
Actually, yes, I do's.
No, you don't.
For us, from us.
Even if it was your makeup,
I'd be doing it a favor.
A favor?
No, darling.
There's no makeup in this world
that could ever
do your face a favor.
Listen here, you 1987
Rhythm Nation fat ass
Janet Jackson wanna be?
F - - hold on, fat ass?
-Fat, thick.
-Don't you - - ever.
Ever, call Miss Jackson,
if you're nasty, fat.
You bitch.
There is a black man
up in here.
Bitch, where?
I am not black.
I'm dark white.
Did someone say
black man in here?
Okay look, ,
I was young,
they said there
was gonna be nudity.
But I thought
it was gonna be like
more of an art piece
kind of thing.
I didn't know the name
of the film was so literal.
No, girl,
I didn't get the lead.
I was the one he was in .
Dellusia was special.
She didn't have dreams,
but fantasies.
She wasn't just the actor,
writer, painter, sculptor,
playwright, teleplaywright, or
the great dramatist, novelist,
activist, Satanist and botanist
that she claimed to be.
She was so much less
than all of that.
She was a person.
And with or without
the respect no one had for her,
she tried her damnedest
to prove it.
So hon, tell me,
what are you doing here?
You mean, why am I
putting myself through this?
Same as everyone else.
I just want to perform.
That's right, you're the singer.
So, I'm assuming
it's not going so great,
'cause you're about
to put some panties on.
No, it's not.
But I've been trying
different things, and, you know.
Different things like tonight?
Yeah, exactly.
I'm just trying to find my path.
Except I'm not gonna be able
to test my routine tonight,
so I'm not really sure
what I'm doing here.
Well, I've said it once
and I'll say it again.
This place doesn't exactly give
you what you're looking for.
Yeah, well,
we always want more.
It's our brightest talent
and our biggest curse.
The dream for something bigger,
something better.
Or just something different.
I've always been baffled
by people who are content
with what they have
and where they are.
For the rest of us,
life seems to be about
managing the balance.
But when you start
asking yourself
if you've gone too far
in pursuing your dreams,
or if your dreams
are truly dead,
the answers you seek are not
gonna be where you're looking.
Especially when you're staring
yourself down in a mirror.
Sometimes you just have
to grab the makeup at hand
and throw yourself
into the deep end.
Ladies and gentlemen,
after much wait,
we finally bring to you our
hostess needing the mostest.
Miss Kitten Withawhip.
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Cherry Pop .
How you all feeling tonight?
Woo, woo, woo. Yeah.
I think I've actually
had sex with about,
of the audience tonight.
So, go to the clinic,
because that was
the purpose of this show.
-All right.
Looking good, baby,
looking good, yeah.
And we have
our all-time favorite,
Craig's List killer
in the house.
Make some noise for Terry,
ladies and gentleman.
Woo, woo,
Terry in the building, baby.
First name fucking
last name Terry.
Terry has scared more
middle-aged white men
than prostate cancer.
How you feeling tonight, Terry?
I'm trying,
time flies, you know.
All right, calm down, calm down.
Now some of you guys may
have heard, it is actually
Lady Zaza's last show
with us tonight.
Or anywhere, for that matter.
-She's done.
-Yep, yep.
-That's it.
But listen, as in every week,
we're gonna bring out
all the girls
you've grown to know and hate,
and we're gonna
bring out one new girl.
And someone's gonna
get that cherry popped.
And of course please
put your hands together
for DJ Oscar,
ladies and gentlemen.
Now Oscar had the beautiful
and innocent mind of a child.
And when he agreed to deejay at
the bar for only college credit,
no one had the heart
to tell him that he would
have to actually enroll
to receive them.
Third grade education,
thank you DJ Oscar.
It's time to see
what you came here to see.
Men performing in dresses
they probably stole from Target,
'cause they can't
pay their rent.
So, get ready to throw
some crumpled up dollars
at people who have made
their parents very sad.
Let me hear you make some noise.
What did she just say?
I'm not gonna tell you one more
time, I didn't steal your shit.
-I wish you - - no.
-I didn't steal your shit.
-You need to quit, bitch.
-Quit what, bitch?
If you taking my
things one more time.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- I don't.
What is going on here?
Icky Azalea over here
keeps taking my things.
Listen here, you ghetto bitch.
-I don't...
- ...yes, ghetto, honey.
- No.
I will have you know
I am from Connecticut.
And I went
to a Ivy League school.
You probably
didn't even get a GED.
- GED?
- Yes.
Not everybody can
afford college, Michael.
I've been trying
to tell your ass...
-Will you two quit it?
I'm the - -.
-And you.
You're up. Get out there.
Listen here, bitch.
No, it's not over, bitch.
-All right, let's go, come on.
-It ain't over, bitch.
-I'll be waiting for that ass.
-Come on.
-Fucking bullshit.
-All right, you.
All right, let's get
it together, come on.
Don't tell me
what to do, hold on.
This is a hate crime.
A hate crime.
I hate you.
You got some more to say?
I do.
-You got some more to say?
I always got
something to say, bitch.
All right, all right, we'll take
care of this after the show.
To my dearest loved ones.
You want to
come back for more?
You ain't nothing.
You ain't nothing.
Let's do this.
Bitch. Are you crazy?
To whom it may concern.
By the time
you'll be reading this,
I will be reunited with my love.
Having leapt out of the window.
It's time to make some noise
for the only white girl
who lives in Compton.
Please put your hands together
for Miss White Chocolate.

I can't have
this kid right now
Don't know who
the daddy is anyhow
I can't afford it
I'm gonna have to abort it
It's my right
It's my prerogative
I'm the one who says
if this baby's gonna live
All right, Zaza, that's it.
I'm calling the tow company.
Hello, is this Cici's Towing?
I'll be right back, I got to
go take a hot, steamy dump.
All right.
Any of you know
how long until I'm up?
What, is that a weird...?
Are you growling?
If I was 17 I would
flush you at the prom
Is she talking about...?
I feel you feeding
like a parasite
- Rock a bye
-Is that a baby?
I would say, goodnight
I can't have
this kid right now
Ain't no baby of mine.
Don't know who the daddy
Can you two
shut the fuck up?
Thank you.
Shit, really?
I just said, shut the fuck up.
Thanks to Roe Vs. Wade
we can be pro-choice
Now only God can judge
and shake a finger
But I'm still in the alley
with a wire hanger
I can't afford no time
I can't afford
no energy, yo
Let me spell it out
in alphabet cereal
This goes out to all
my selfish bitches
This goes out to all
my selfish bitches
- Well.
- My goodness.
Come on girl.
I can't have
this kid right now
I don't know who
the daddy is anyhow
I can't afford it
I'm gonna have to abort it
Shake it, you sure
can't afford a baby.
I can't afford it
I'm gonna have to abort it
That baby was yo's.
You're not coming?
What do you mean?
Yes, she's here.
Yeah, because
your mother's such a gem.
An ex-convict.
I - - yeah, yeah,
she got out early on parole.
That's not the point, honey.
Who is it?
It's just me.
I'll, I'll be right out.
Everything okay?
Yeah, of course.
Everything's fine,
why would you ask that?
You just
sounded upset in there.
No, no, nothing
to be upset about.
Absolutely, no reason to...
At that time, Ariela was
going through a rough patch.
Her boyfriend, Brendan, just
didn't understand her mother.
Her mother
just didn't understand
that Brendan was her boyfriend.
And being the youngest queen
at a place like Cherry Pop .
Looking back,
I totally understand.
Kitten, you're up.
God damn it, shit, shit.
All right here, here.
Owner of the car?
I can play
anything you want.
I can play whatever role.
See, this is how
it's done, bitch.
Soft and feminine.
Soft and feminine?
No, darling.
You're a fucking man.
In the end there was
no more flame burning,
in this life.
No more beauty in this world.
No more song in this dance.
No more dick in this ass.
I was never one of many words.
So, let me end this
brief farewell with a haiku.
Life leaves one thirsty,
a broken heart,
cracked, and dry.
Worse than my herpes.
All right, it's time to keep
this show moving right along.
Put your hands up,
but don't shoot.
Make some noise for Blanquisha.

I hate you, white bitch
Could be your
high-pitch cross stitch
something about you
flips my switch to off, bitch
You turn me off, bitch
I said it
Brenda, girl, you such
a big time spender, girl.
Ask ma
what your husband ball
be the chip
to your membership
Costa Rica, take a trip
And you never
pay a dime for it
Hey, hey, hey
you drank
up all the Chardonnay
In my house, in my house
Golf clubs, goat cheese
high roller with
your baby stroller
and you always in my way
by the way,
your husband gay
- So get - -
-Just breathe.
It's gonna be okay,
a, get, it's gonna be fine.
Just breathe.
I just got to tinkle.
Okay, hey. Let's...
Hey, hey,
what's wrong with you?
What's wrong?
Everything's wrong with me.
My relationship, is all wrong.
My mother's brain, is all wrong.
My makeup is probably so wrong.
- I just can't...
- Okay, so...
Okay, yeah,
bring it in, bring it in.
See, I told you.
Telling me,
Okay, well no habla espanol.
But let me tell you something.
He was a saint.
My God, can you please
hand me the phone?
I cannot look this anymore.
I shouldn't have
eaten those fish tacos.
See, this right here
is exactly why
you don't leave
your phone behind.
Ex - - excuse me, no.
Listen, the thing is,
I'm trying to tell a story here
and I can't
because this ring tone
keeps going off.
And everything...
Wait a minute,
you're his what?
My God.
that mother fucker is straight.
-Yes, bitch.
Thanks, I needed that.
You know, what you have
must be pretty perfect
compared to all this.
Hey, we have our issues
just like everybody else.
But I guess having someone
who can put up with me
is pretty unique?
I mean this has
got to be weird.
But it's just
something I have to do.
I'm sorry, I don't know
if I'm making any sense.
I wasn't.
You are.
I really wasn't.
I hope that your man knows
exactly how lucky he is.
Well, actually.
Like if you need
a crutch to cry on,
a shoulder to lean on,
whatever, I've got your back.
No matter what.
Thank you.
But actually, Ariela, I'm a...
- Wait, what?

- Get in your golden minivan
- Yeah.
Start with a girl
might have had a kid but
you're still look pregnant
Girl, drinking juice
without gumption
What's that you
left on your plate?
You eat chicken
without the skin?
You just
a stupid white bitch
talking about hot yoga
Like, I'm on my way
to hot yoga
- Okay
-Come on, Blanquisha.
- Brenda
-Yeah, baby.
Lisa skank
Pita chips
Goat cheese
And baby corns
So, get in
the golden minivan
Start with a girl
You might have had a kid
but you still look pregnant
Girl, drinking juice
without gumption
What's that you
left on your plate?
You eat chicken
without the skins?
So, does that mean
you're not gonna eat that?
Well, slide it over here,
white bitch
Now that's
how you do it, bitches.
I swear to God
I was like...
No, where the
hell is everybody?
I don't know.
But listen,
you need to find Choriza,
she's up next. Thank you.
What the?
Where'd everybody go?
gang bang in the bathroom.
Let me tell you
something, it's nasty.
It's sticky, it's wet, it
looks weird and it smells crazy.
And I'm not even
talking about the pussy yet.
Okay enough.
I'm not feeling so well.
-Girl, I'm not lying.
-I'm feeling like cheat.
What are you even doing here?
Yeah, what are you doing here?
What about the stuff you
just said about having my back?
Let's not dwell on the past.
Okay, wait,
so just because I'm straight
I'm some sort of freak here?
Is this some kind
of a joke to you?
Do we look like fucking clowns?
-I mean...
-Don't even answer that.
What the hell
is going on up in here?
Did I miss a gang bang?
No, bitch, but you about
to witness a straight bashing.
A, what?
He's a hetero.
I'm standing right here.
You mean he's... ?
My God.
You seen a...
I know, it's disgusting,
we were just talking about it.
Okay move,
I have to use the toilet.
No, no, no, girl,
you're up next.
You need to get up onstage.
No, no, no, no, no. I just
cannot go on stage right now.
- Come on now.
- Jesus Christ,
I thought you Mexicans
had stomachs of steel.
I am no Mexican woman.
-See what you're doing to us?
-You're tearing us apart.
Fucking Mexican
seal-looking bitch.
All right, this next girl's
a crowd favorite here
and in the local bathrooms
at the public parks.
Make some noise
for Miss Choriza.
substitute teaching is hard.
Shadida, don't run so fast.
No doubt, Wendy.
It's definitely not
what I had planned,
but, you know, times is tough.
Yes, sir.
Malcom Jamal,
give Seja her ball back.
Well, hello, Nicotina.
What's wrong, honey?
Miss I made doo-doo.
You know
when I shit in my pants,
I just shake it out the leg.
Shake it out the leg
Shake it out the leg
When I shit in my pants
I just shake it out the leg
Shake it out the leg
Shake it out the leg
When I shit in my pants,
I just shake it out the leg
Miss Tell us about
the first time it happened?
-Sure, I'd be glad to.
-Choriza looks like shit.
Gather around kids,
let me tell you a tale
- One that always...
- My God.
She look like
she tuck too hard.
Shit, girl.
Now look, dude.
We're very open minded,
accepting people.
But we just don't plain want
your kind around here.
Yeah, you fucking hetero.
What the hell
is wrong with you guys?
Wait, you seriously
want me to leave?
No, honey, we just playing.
Okay, because for
a second there I actually...
Yes, we want you
to fucking leave.
And you?
This is unbelievable.
You know, I'm doing this for
the same reason you are, right?
-It's not...
-Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
I'm sure it's a lovely story,
And we'll have time for
that later on in the film.
But for right now, bitch,
You got to go.
Fine, I'm gone.
Not yet you're not.
Get the fuck out of my house.
You better tell him.
Didn't you think
that was a little harsh?
No, dear.
This is my last warning.
What the...?
What, what, what.
You didn't see this?
My God, you're sleeping.
All right.
What is this?
You, such...
Girl, you are crazy.
No, no, no, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
My God.
Shit, but I be
putting up a fight
But they fought back,
they was kicking my liver
No fucker's trying to
give me the doody shiver
Trying to hold it in
Quick, go get the others.
You know, I really should.
You know, everyone's been
raving about that movie and,
and I love that
Australian bitch.
What's her name?
Anna Nicole Kidman.
No, bitch, would
you get the fuck up?
Zaza's about to kill herself.
-You don't have to yell.
-Bitch, go!
-Run. Move!
-I'm a girl, I'm saying.
-Yeah, you are,
check it
do I got lipstick on my teeth?
Yeah, how many teeth you got?
No, all of them.
This - - you still
got that bag, under?
Nu-no, bitch,
I ain't got your damn bag.
I feel like shit.
What the hell is wrong?
Kitten sent me.
Something about,
something about renting a movie.
God, what was it?
- My God.
- I can't remember.
Move, bitch.
But got lucky,
passed out in my car
- No.
- Is she sick?
Shit, I got to get
this on film.
Going down, bitch.
Come on.
Girl, what is this news
that you got to tell us?
Zaza's killing
herself or something.
-Zaza's gonna kill herself?
My God.
-Yeah, come on, bitch.
-No bitch, no.
So, what was all this about?
Well, I guess the cherry
likes to have sex with ladies.
Big deal, I have sex in my
lady clothes all the time.
No, I mean like,
like real ladies.
Like post-op?
Picky, picky.
-Like women.
-Come again?
Hell, vampire shit.
Girl, what,
did she kill herself yet?
I don't know yet,
concerned friend.
Now, help me try to
get into the room. Come on.
Stop. No, no, wait,
wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, just...
Girl, Zaza,
it's not worth it, baby.
Really, you're telling me
that I'm heartless,
but you're telling her
she's worthless?
Girl, please.
Heck yeah bitches,
that child worth it
- I just stayed in bed
- My God.
When I shit in my pants,
I just shake it out the leg
Baby girl.
Shake it out the leg,
shake it out the leg
- When I shit in my pants
-I got you.
Girl, get that door open.
Hey, mother fucker.
You get down, girl.
Hold on. Hold on,
I got this, I got this.
Hide your kid,
hide your wife,
this thing's about
to blow y'all.
No, no, no.
Where is she?
My God.
My God.
My goodness.
- Jesus Christ, where's Kitten?
- My God.
Who's gonna
clean this shit up?
My God.
Choriza just puked
all over the stage
and you're supposed to be out
there doing damage control.
Girl, Zaza just
fell out the window!
-She what?
-Come on, move!
If she dies,
can I have her - -?
My God, my God.
We'll be right down,
I'm gonna call the ambulance.
-I'm gonna call the ambulance.
-Where's the damn phone?
I'm gonna, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna do this shot, bitch.
- Watch this.
- Can I have some?
Mother fucker.
Where the fuck
did she come from?
Hey, girl.
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
Okay, good.
Come on, girl, get up.
-Get up.
-Stop slapping me.
-Okay just.
Leave me here to die.
Can you just like, I don't know,
move over a little bit,
and just die like right...
Let me be,
you heartless reapers.
G... we agreed
that was consensual.
Look, could we just
move Glen or Glenda
or whatever the fuck here,
so I can
move this car please?
Hey, back the fuck up,
mister tow truck man.
Look, I'm just
trying to do my job.
I said now,
you Toby Keith,
Duck Dynasty, devil's reject,
John Wayne looking mayonnaise
on a grilled cheese eating
sandwich mother fucker.
It's a long day.
Hey, baby, you okay?
Okay, Zaza,
you have to get up,
or we have to call
you an ambulance.
Yeah, we know your broke ass
ain't got insurance,
come on, get your big ass up.
-Come on, big bird.
-Mother fucker.
There we go.
Yes. Look at her.
She's doing it.
Let me get these...
There we go.
Grab the boats.
And the gravy boat
shoes, I got them.
-Are you okay, girl?
-No, I'm not okay.
What do you think?
I just fell out of a
fucking window, am I okay?
Yeah, I... I, I mean
I didn't see I just assumed.
Thank you for helping.
You got a handle on it,
big foot.
I will f - - when I'm
done with this show,
I'm gonna fucking
step on top of your head.
- Come on.
. Sassy.
As the drama was
dying down inside the bar,
my head felt like it was about
to explode on the outside.
Was I upset that I'd just been
exiled by a bunch of outcasts?
Or that a couple of poorly
dressed queens in cheap wigs
and heels just
questioned my manhood?
Of course I was.
I was doubting this whole
adventure, and to be honest,
I was this close to just
grabbing my dress and leaving.
That sounded girly,
but you get the idea.
Help, this bitch is heavy.
My God, did
she commit suicide?
Ye - - yeah, Blanquisha,
she committed suicide.
And we're making the
corpse more comfortable.
You... okay.
Come on, have a seat, boo.
On the couch.
Jesus Christ, you really
did a number on your car,
didn't you?
It doesn't even look
like a car anymore.
All right.
Anything else I can
do for you, your majesty?
Fluff your pillow?
Curl your lashes?
Massage your feet, maybe?
Thank you for your
sarcastic concern.
But no.
Turn on my music
and leave me be.
Heavy ass bitch.
Quietly, please.
Girl, I know.
They're all just
so selfish and rude,
but I'm here
to take care of you.
I'm gonna have you relax,
read you one of my monologues.
-And it'll be a...
-Yeah, well I...
- Jesus.
- Out!
All right, that was fun, right?
Hey, babe.
Sorry I tried calling earlier,
but I'm not sure if I'm
gonna make it tonight.
That's fine,
don't worry about it.
Are you all right?
-Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Well, some of the
other performers are quite
Yeah, sorry about that.
It's fine.
Are you sure you're all right?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I'm, I guess I'm just
a little nervous, you know.
Well, you're gonna be amazing.
I've seen it enough times
to know that.
I'll try my best
to make it, okay?
No, don't, trust me, it's
actually better if you don't.
I, I'll see
you at home, okay?
Are you sure?
Yes. Yes...
Actually, I have to keep,
getting ready. So.
Well, break a leg, babe.
I love you.
-Thanks, love you too, bye.
Girl, I feel like shit.
You feel like shit?
I just threw up my entire
fucking lunch over those people.
Well, you know what,
you might have deserved it
after the way
you treated the cherry.
Please, we did him a favor.
Hell, I probably deserve worse.
No, he was too different.
Bitch, when you first came here,
you couldn't speak
a lick of English.
And as far as I'm concerned
you still don't.
I am still learning, okay?
Maybe we should ask Santa Clause
for a Rosetta Stone this year.
All I'm saying is it takes a lot
of balls for what he's doing.
I mean he's got
bigger balls than us.
Well, we do it too, no?
It'd be the same thing
if you were like to join,
I don't know,
like a hunting club?
A que club?
Let's try, the Tea Party?
Honey, parties and clubs,
I'm there, baby.
Never mind.
All I'm saying is that he's
doing something different.
And I've got to go out there
and tuck my tail between my legs
and perform for my mother.
Yeah, well, and you
don't do nothing different?
Maybe I should.
Hector, I am so sorry.
Can you guys
give it up for Hector?
La - -.
Change the song for me.
Thank you, and a carne asada
hakuna matada to you too.
This next girl coming to the
stage is the runt of our litter.
This bitch is so young
her mom actually came
to the show tonight.
That's my son.
Hello, seeing around.
That is actually her mom.
Ma'am, how do you feel about
your son, that you nurtured,
cared for, you
probably even breastfed,
is on stage tonight wearing
a dress from Goodwill?
Performing a song just for us.
How does that feel?
He's always loved the theatre.
And it's these brave roles
that's gonna win him
the Oscar one day!
All right, you know, whatever,
whatever you need
to tell yourself.
Your son's an actor and that
was a good hair color, right?
Please put your hands
together for our next girl.
Her name is Ariela.
My baby.

for sticking it in me
I had a really great time
Ba, da, da, da, da, da, da
All right,
what's the situation?
Girl, she says
she ain't going up.
All right, I guess we'll
just have to close the show
with the cherry.
Where's the cherry?
Don't worry about the cherry,
we sent her ass packing
right before Zaza
went out the window.
You did what?!
Yeah, we really showed her.
Well, I showed her, I mean
they were more like
Kelly and Michelle.
What, what?
Kelly and Michelle?
-No, girl,
not Kelly and Michelle.
No, I got his ass so good,
I swear to God
he was crying when he left.
Crying, because your
breath is like cutting onions.
I had him up at the corner,
I scared the shit out of him.
You scare the shit out of
everybody with the way you look.
You two...
are idiots!
Listen, how are we supposed
to do a show called Cherry Pop
if we don't have
a cherry to pop?
Sounds like your problem.
I mean, I mean really love,
I was more like of a, a,
a back seat passenger
with the whole situation.
The hell.
This one was
the leader of the pack.
I was the one who
was sitting in
the back slapping
the whole time.
-All right, you two need to.
-It was her the whole...
- Shut up, shut up, shut up.
- No, guys, it's fine.
I've got this. You know what,
we can just change the tempo
of the show a little bit
and I'll do
one of my monologues.
Okay, first of all, Dellusia,
no one wants to see you acting.
You are a bad actor.
My grandma said you were bad
and she's blind, she's deaf,
and she's been dead
for ten years.
You are worse than
Mariah Carey in Glitter.
You are worse than
Halle Berry in Cat Woman .
Yeah, you're worse than
Shaq in Kazaam, yeah.
You're worse than
Mayhem Miller in Cherry Pop .
No one wants to see one
of your fucking monologues!
No one's even seen them yet.
Yeah, and we're
already sick of them.
You know what,
I am not a terrible actor.
I'm a terrible person.
And in the words
of Julius Cesar.
Here we go.
Et tu, Brute?
Guess I didn't realize
You were gonna
stick it in me
for sticking it in me
Right, this is Brendan,
Ariela's boyfriend.
Brenda, according to her mother.
And he didn't know it,
but he was about
to make his stage debut.
I had a really great time,
ba-da-ba-bop, ba-da-da,
We should do it again
for sticking it in me
I had a really great time,
Ba-da, da, hey
We should do it again
When you put
your hand on mine
Those are in.
Even though
I hadn't planned on it
You stuck it in me,
you stuck it in me
Stuck it in me,
you stuck it in me
You stuck it in me
Stuck it in me
You stuck it in me, and...
I think my son's a homosexual.
You know, it's terrible how
people can treat you sometimes.
Yes, it is.
I guess it's natural
when you're different?
I know that.
I mean there's nothing
wrong with being different.
Who am I kidding, there's
always something wrong.
I know that too.
And who are you
supposed to talk to?
That's what I'm saying.
I think it's important
to find that person.
But what happens when you
can't find that person?
You'll find that person,
you'll find many people
who can do that.
Sometimes it can be the person
standing right next to you.
Wait, you mean to listen?
I mean only
if you have the time.
Sure, yeah, I would love to.
Well, I think I'm ready.
Well, I guess I'm worried
about what I'm doing, you know.
How far do you follow
a dream before you let it go?
All I want to do is perform.
Don't get me wrong,
I have someone very special
that never questions
my decisions,
but that's probably why I feel
even more responsible, you know.
You think you're the only one
-who's got responsibilities?
Who's got a family
to worry about?
I got a man downtown
who is so drunk right now
he can't even raise an arm,
let alone get a job.
One of the girls
in there tonight
has a kid in private school.
She's got to lie about
what she does at night.
You think it's easy?
You think we quit?
No, baby, no.
You put on your heels, you hold
that head up tall and proud,
because if you can do that,
then you are one of the brave.
Honey, it ain't your problems
that make you special.
It's how you deal with it.
You're, you're right.
You're so right.
I needed to hear that,
thank you, Dellusia,
thank you, you're right.
Nailed it.
Stripper wives monologue it is.
Dellusia's speech gave
me the push I needed.
I was not about to let
these evil queens
decide whether or not
I was going to perform.
I was doing this no matter what.
I am what I am
and they of all people
should know that.
Look who hath returned.
And uninvited might I add.
Look, I'm sorry if y'all
have a problem with me.
But you know what, deal with it.
We know you sorry.
But FYI, being
a true queen means
never having
to say, I'm sorry.
So, what do you want me to say?
You guys want a reason
for why I'm here?
I'm here for the same
reason you are, to perform.
I mean do any one of you
actually want to be a woman?
Hell no.
Do you dress up
as women at home?
If they ask nicely?
Well, I don't.
And I don't want
to be a woman either.
Because I'm a man.
Just like you, just like you,
and just like you.
We're all here
for the same reason.
But you're straight, though.
You do know
there are straight guys
who've put on women's clothes
before, right?
Puh, name one.
Dame Edna.
Yes, I get it.
Eddie Izzard.
Eddie Lizard,
what the hell is that?
Eddie Izzard,
how dumb or old are you?
Look, don't you dare talk
about my age like that, okay.
Yes, just because your wifey
has you wearing her clothes.
Hey, hey.
You listen to me,
you can say whatever
the fuck you want about me.
But if you ever talk about
my fianc(Copyright)e again, any of you,
I will shove your dicks
so far up your own asses
you won't be able to tuck again.
Having a cross-dressed,
completely legal immigrant
in a chokehold
was never part of my dream.
But that's how dreams work.
We only see the destination,
not the road we have to travel.
And in such times,
just remember to stay calm.
You got it?
Si, si..
I don't need to explain
anything to you, you, or you.
Finish my makeup somewhere else.
You got anything
else you want to say?
You know, I've seen that all.
What's that for?
Bitch, my tape out
it's five minutes ago.
God damn.
You know what,
my nauseas are gone.
My nausea, my are gone.
I have no clue
what you're saying.
Look, we gonna have
to get us one of them straight,
angry mother fuckers
come up in here some more.
for sticking it in me
I had a really great time
Ba-da-da-da, da-da-da, hey
We should do it again
Who, baby, I love your way
I got to tell you
I love your way
I want to be with
you night and day
Thanks for sticking it,
inside of... me
I just wanted
to say I'm sorry,
for the way that
I treated you back there.
I, I shouldn't judge you,
because I've got
enough shit in my life,
and I was a real bitch.
And I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Being a queen means,
you never have to say sorry.
I guess that's true.
I like that.
Saying I'm sorry
is for the weak.
That's a good outlook on life.
Go get 'em, man.
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
It is that time again.
This is the moment
you've all been waiting for.
Where we turn a princess
into a queen.
Little bitch cub Simba
into a fierce lioness Nala.
We take Ron Paul
and turn him into Rupaul.
It is time for somebody
to get that cherry popped.
Can I bum one of those, honey?
Sure, honey.
- Thanks, I really need it.
- You're welcome.
You ever feel like you haven't
listened to people enough?
Look at me.
How can I ever go on stage again
when I'm as pathetic as this?
I couldn't even
kill myself, Marcello.
How can I accomplish
anything when you're gone?
Where is the purpose?
Where is the beauty?
Where is the passion to perform?
Thank you.
Thank you, no really.
I'm running really late.
I just want to know if
the show's still going on?
Hon, right there,
Cherry Pop .
-Amazing, thanks, guys.
-You're welcome, too.
And that one did
look like a woman.
But there's no mistaking
the real thing,
like ourselves, right, honey?
Bano, el bano.
My gosh.
Look at the big light switch.
My music.
I'm still alive
in here, you know.
Can't never have nothing nice.
What the hell just happened?
It's not spinning,
it's not spinning.
What the hell just happened?
I'll take a look.
Courage can
be an unreliable friend.
Luckily for me,
my better half was not.
I had told her not to come,
but if it wasn't for her,
I wouldn't have
gone another step.
Especially in those heels.
She was my partner,
she was my woman,
and I was her man.
Ave Maria
Don't fall for it girl,
What the hell, Terry?
Brilliant, all of them.
Let's go.
Brilliant, brilliant,
brilliant, yes. Brilliant.
- Shit.
- Terry, is that you?
Hey, baby, hey baby.
Don't you baby me,
mother fucker.
What are you doing here?
I was just having, you remember
I went out to get some milk
and I was coming right back.
Soon, no, mother fucker,
have you lost your mind?
No, I was going back...
...what is this shit
on your clothes?
I was... you don't
even want to know.
- No, get your big ass over here.
- Okay, shit, damn.
Bye, Terry.
Listen, I wouldn't
wear that one if I was you.
Just I, I like
what you're wearing.
No, no, no, it's not good.
Listen, your mom,
she'll be fine.
You - -
we need to get you
ready for the finale.
Hurry up.
By the way,
good job.
Who knew?
Girls, let's make haste.
Woo, girl.
I don't know how long
this night has felt for y'all,
but let me tell you, back stage,
this is one hell of a night.
Can I bum a cigarette?
Thanks. Great.
Do you have anyone in the show?
My son.
My fianc(Copyright)e.
I have something to tell you.
Words cannot express
the debt of gratitude
I have for you.
You woke me up.
And so I thank you.
Whoever you are.
Whatever your
identity really is.
Whoever they call you.
In my memory you'll always
be that nameless hero.
Nameless hero.
Who saved my life.
I mean...
-I could just tell.
Nameless hero.
Nameless hero.
Now girls,
we have a show to do.
Someone get me
in my corset now.
Got it.
Standing there,
looking back into the eyes
that were once
judging and dismissive,
I now saw remorse.
I saw guilt.
They knew they messed up,
done wrong, made a mistake,
been defeated and
out-dragged when they...
Okay, okay, okay, you know
we can hear all that, right?
You know that stuff you do
and it's your voice and things.
Yeah, bitch, you know
I can do that shit too.
Yeah, we were just
staying quiet out of politeness,
but right now it's getting
seriously ridiculous.
Hey, when are we going to those
tea club, some hunting party?
Wait, have we always
been able to do this?
I'm about to bring back
to the stage
our very first cherry pop.
That's right,
and this bitch is old.
They say most drag queens
age like fine wine.
This bitch age like
Greek yogurt, it's disgusting.
Wait till you see it.
This bitch is so old, she used
to baby sit Joan Rivers.
This bitch is so old, her
social security number is one,
and she's excited 'cause
it's Jell-O day at the center.
She went all out, she
put her teeth in for the show.
Look, if you're gonna
try to be nice to me, or...
Make some noise for Lady Zaza.
Come on, people, clap.
You got to learn tonight.
Baby, you...
Hell no,
fuck that shit, come on.
There was a time
when a one-night stand
Went always exactly
as I had planned
You liked my ass
and you gave it a smack
And a 40-ounce later
I was flat on my back
If you want my petunia,
you get down on your knees
But you ain't gonna get it
like a quarter with cheese
Baby, this ain't no
drive-through window
Yeah, I work at McDonald's,
but I think you should know
I'm a two-night lady
Not a one-night
Tonight ain't the night
But tomorrow for sure
So, when you
get to calling me again
We can wrestle
on my bear rug
Growling in my den
There was a day
After finding the flier
at a truck stop bathroom,
Choriza decided
to visit a convention
dealing with immigration
held by the tea party.
We haven't seen her since.
Lucky for you,
I didn't say two weeks
If I fuck you tonight,
that means that I'm a hussy
Blanquisha and White Chocolate
eventually put aside
their petty differences
and less than a year later
the two of them were married.
So I tell you again,
before you get
They divorced two weeks later.
I'm a two-night lady
Not a one-night
Tonight ain't the night, but
Michael and Eric
still work at Cherry Pop .
So, swing by and say hi.
They'd love to see you.
On it, me again
Kitten moved back to the family
farm and raised the first ever
livestock consisting
exclusively of animals
in same-sex relationships.
Their motto is Hancock Farms,
where the steer are queer
and your poultry dish
kisses fish.
As an actress, Dellusia
never caught her big break.
But many years later, when
all of her artistic material
were posthumously published
as a collection,
it almost made
Amazon's top 100 21st century
North American LGB artist collections,
catalogues and exhibitions list.
... Calling me, me again
I'm gonna give it to you,
before I count to ten
One, two
Ariela's relationship with
her mother and Brendan
only grew after that night.
And while her mother
learned to cope
with never having a daughter,
she did find the pleasure
in dress shopping
with her two sons.
He's our...
If you think you're the one,
you're gonna make me come
You've got to make her come
Zaza went into retirement and
is now mentoring a whole army
of young drag queens.
As for me,
I got what I came for.
Because Cherry Pop wasn't
just a place for dead dreams,
it was a place where
they were reborn.
And everything else
is just a cherry on top.
I'm a two-night lady,
not a one-night
Tonight ain't the night,
but tomorrow for sure
So, when you get
to calling, me again
I'll be busting out
the crystal
I'm gonna mess up my makeup.
So no, mother fucker,
have you lost your mind?
- Are you fucking...
- I...
You sure you're not lost?
We'll take care of it later,
Say cut.
Listen, line.
If you...
Is Brendan coming?
What the fuck is a Choriza?
Come back,
I'm not through with you.
- So I, I see you use Fubu.
- God damn it.
And I see that you
also use Fubu Mascara?
Fubu, God damn it.
No, don't.
You, you use Fufu?
You boo boo, bitch.
First name fucking,
last name Terry.
How are you?
- - how's your?
First name fucking,
last name Terry's
in the house tonight.
Fucking Terry has been beat up
by more fucking cock suck
I'm not gonna say that joke.
Shut - -.
Listen to me.
A little softer, feminine.
No, there's not,
there's just la, la, la.
I've got to go take
a hot, steamy dump.
Just I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
need you...
to sit...
No, darling,
I don't fucking remember.
Who's got a family
to worry about.
Shit, I fucked it up.
We can't change the
concept of a - -
I'm celebrating.
His what?
My God.
I said now, you mayonnaise
on a grilled cheese
looking mother fucker.
I thought you Mexicans
had stomachs of steel
with all the shit that
you put in your mouths.
I'll just take all of them.
- See.
- And, yeah.
Okay, great,
thank you, thank you.
Mine is a Kwanzaa album, so.
Great, that is great,
thank you.
-If you're into black people.
I got to pee,
that's the only bathroom.
Girl, why is there so much
fuzz up in your hair, bitch?
'Cause I slept
in my car last night.
My life's going wrong right now.
I am no Mexican woman.
Don't even answer that.
Shut up.
I can't reach this.
It sounds like there's
like six trains coming.
There's a train.
-Thank you.
-We're called trans, not trains.
Okay, what is wrong
with my clothes?
-A train's coming.
This gig isn't turning out to
be what it was supposed to be.
Shit. Train.
If you ever talk about my
fianc(Copyright)e again, any of you,
I will shove your dicks
so far up the train's ass,
you will never.
No, train me,
train me like a dragon.
Where we take a princess
and turn her into a train,
riding by the studio, right now.
That mother fucking train.
You pissed off
someone at Amtrak..
I'm tired of these
mother fucking trains
on this mother fucking plane.
Tell me about...