Chicken Run (2000) Movie Script

- Shush!
I'm stuck!
- Get back.
- Hmm!
- Mr. Tweedy.
- Eh?
What is that chicken
doing outside the fence?
Oh! I don't know, love. L...
Just deal with it.
I'll teach you to make
a fool out of me.
Now let that be a lesson
to the lot of ya!
No chicken escapes
from Tweedy's farm!
Morning, Ginger.
Back from holiday?
I wasn't on holiday,
I was in
solitary confinement.
Oh, it's nice to get a bit
of time to yourself, isn't it?
Roll call!
Come along now.
You'll be late for parade.
Pip, pip. Quick march.
Left, right, left, right.
- Left, right, left, right!
Come on. Smarten up.
- Ooh!
Discipline! Order!
Back in my R.A.F. Days when the
senior officer called for a scramble,
you'd hop in the old crate
and tallyho.
- Chocks away!
- Give over, you old fool.
They just want to count us.
Oh, how dare you talk back
to a senior ranking officer.
- Why, back in my R.A.F. Days...
- Fowler, they're coming. Back in line.
- Oh, right, right.
- Oh!
There will be a stern reprimand
for you, lad. You're grounded.
Welcome back, hen.
Is there a new plan?
I thought we tried
goin' under.
Ah! Over. Right.
How's the egg count?
I've laid five eggs
this morning. Five!
- Well-chuffed with that, I was...
- Shush!
Oh, no. Edwina.
Bunty, why didn't you
give her some of yours?
I would have. She didn't tell me.
She didn't tell anyone.
Oh, is Edwina
off on holiday?
We've got to get out of here.
Are we still on?
Oh, we're on, all right.
Spread the word, Mac.
Meeting tonight in hut 17.
You called? Nick and...
- Fetcher.
- At your service.
Over here.
We need some
more things.
Right you are, miss.
- How about this quality
handcrafted tea set?
- Uh, no.
- Or this lovely necklace and pendant?
- It's love...
Or this beautiful little number,
all the rage in the fashionable
chicken coops of Paris.
Simply pop it on like so,
and as the French hens say,
That's French.
That's two hats in one, miss.
For parties, for weddings.
Oh, but madame, this makes you
look like a vision, like a dream.
- Like a duck.
- No, thank you.
We're making this. We need these things.
Can you get them?
Oh, oh, oh,
this is a big job, miss.
Oh, bigger than the others.
No, no. This is gonna cost.
Same as always.
One bag of seed.
- You call this pay?
- It's chicken feed.
- What else could we give you?
- Eggs.
- Eggs?
- Eggs.
- We can't give you our eggs.
They're too valuable.
- And so are we.
After you, Fetcher.
After I what?
- Move!
- Ooh!
Twenty-two and nine.
Fourteen shillings
and threepence.
Seven and sixpence times three.
Two and nine.
Fourpence halfpenny.
D-oh! Stupid,
worthless creatures!
I'm sick and tired of
making minuscule profits.
Oh, yes.
Those chickens
are up to something.
I'm onto something.
They're organized. I know it.
- I said, quiet.
- That ginger one.
I reckon she's their leader.
- Mr. Tweedy!
I may finally have found a way
to make us some real money around here,
and what are you on about?
Ridiculous notions
of escaping chickens.
- But... But...
- It's all in your head,
Mr. Tweedy. Say it!
It's all in me head.
It's all in me head.
Now, you keep telling
yourself that,
because I don't want to hear
another word about it.
- Is that clear?
- Yes, love.
But you know that ginger one...
They're chickens,
you dolt!
Apart from you, they're the most
stupid creatures on this planet.
They don't plot, they don't scheme,
and they are not organized!
- Order! Order!
- Quiet, everyone. Settle down.
I would like to call to order...
Please, if you could just settle...
Let's have some discipline
in the ranks! What, what!
- Thank you, Fowler.
- In my R.A.F. Days,
we were never allowed to waste time
with unnecessary chitchat.
Yes, thank you, Fowler.
Carry on.
Now, I know our last escape
attempt was a bit of a fiasco,
but Mac and I have come up
with a brand-new plan.
- Show 'em, Mac.
- Right. We tried going under
the wire and that didn't work.
So, the plan is,
we go over it.
- This is us, right?
We get in like this.
Wind her up
and... let her go!
Good grief!
The turnip's bought it!
Farmer's coming!
Operation Cover-up!
- Mr. Tweedy!
- Ooh. Ouch.
- Where are you?
- Ooh. It's all in your head.
It's all in your head.
It's all in your head.
Think, everyone, think.
What haven't we tried yet?
We haven't tried
not trying to escape.
Hmm. That might work.
What about Edwina?
How many more empty nests
will it take?
Perhaps it wouldn't be empty
if she'd spent more time layin'
and less time escapin'.
So laying eggs
all your life...
and then getting plucked, stuffed
and roasted is good enough for you?
It's a livin'.
You know what the problem is?
The fences aren't just round the farm.
They're up here in your heads.
There's a better place out there
somewhere beyond that hill,
and it has wide open spaces
and lots of trees...
and grass.
Can you imagine that?
Cool, green grass.
- Who feeds us?
- We feed ourselves.
- Well, where's the farm?
- There is no farm.
- Then where does the farmer live?
- There is no farmer, Babs.
- Is he on holiday?
- He isn't anywhere. Don't you get it?
There's no morning head count, no
farmers, no dogs and coops and keys...
and no fences.
In all my life I've never
heard such a fantastic...
load of tripe!
Oh, face the facts, ducks.
The chances of us gettin' out of here
are a million to one.
Then there's still a chance.
Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
What am I doing?
Who are you trying to fool?
You can't lead this bunch of...
Oh, heaven help us.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
You've been a wonderful audience.
- Ouch!
- Oh, yes.
- That's it.
Get him inside quickly.
This is our way out of here.
We'll make posters?
No. What's on the poster, Babs.
What's on the poster. We'll fly out!
He must be very important
to have his picture taken.
What do you suppose he does?
Isn't it obvious?
He's a professional flying rooster.
He flies from farm to farm,
giving demonstrations.
- Do you suppose?
- Oh, absolutely.
Not in the dark, no.
No, not in there. No.
Get out. Good.
Gotta get...
Who are you?
Where am I? What's goin' on?
Ouch! What happened
to my wing?
You took a rather nasty fall.
And sprained the anterior tendon
connecting your radius to your humerus.
I gave it a wee bit of a tweak,
Jimmy, and wrapped her up.
- Was that English?
- She said you sprained your wing.
She fixed it.
- I made the bandage.
- L-I carried you in.
- Whoa. Whoa. Whoa! Whoa.
Let's back up
and start from the top. Where am I?
You're right. How rude of us.
We're just very excit...
This is a chicken farm.
And we're the chickens.
Yeah, with you so far.
Chicken farm, chickens...
I don't like the look of this one.
His eyes are too close together.
- Father, please.
- And he's a Yank!
Easy, Pops. Cockfighting's
illegal where I come from.
And where is that exactly?
Just a little place I call the land
of the free and the home of the brave.
- Scotland!
- No! America.
Oh! America.
Poppycock. Pushy Americans.
Always showing up late for every war.
Overpaid, oversexed
and over here!
What's eatin' Grandpa?
Oh, don't mind him,
Mister... Mister?
The name's Rocky. Rocky the
Rhode Island Red. Rhodes for short.
- Rocky Rhodes?
- Catchy, ain't it?
Um, Mr. Rhodes,
is this you?
Uh, who wants to know?
A group of rather
desperate chickens.
You see, if it is you, then you just
might be the answer to our prayers.
Well, then, call me a miracle,
doll face, 'cause that's me.
And what brings you
to England, Mr. Rhodes?
Why, all the beautiful
English chicks, of course.
Give over!
You see, I'm
a traveler by nature.
I did that whole barnyard thing
for a while,
but I couldn't really get into it.
Hi. How are you? Nope.
The open road.
That's more my style.
Yep, just give me a pack on my back
and point me where the wind blows.
In fact, you know what
they call me back home?
You're gonna love this.
The Lone Free Ranger.
- Ooh!
- Isn't that great?
- I knew it was possible.
- Oh, it's possible, all right.
- I knew the answer would come.
- Amen!
We're all going to fly over that fence,
and Mr. Rhodes is going
to show us how, right?
That's... What?
Did you say "fly"?
- You can teach us.
- No, I can't.
- Listen. Shh. You hear that?
That's the open road calling my name,
and I was born to answer that call. Bye.
He must have
very good hearing.
Okay, okay, where's the exit?
Ah, this way.
Mr. Rhodes, um, perhaps I didn't
explain our situation properly.
We lay eggs
day in and day out,
and when we can't lay
any more, they kill us.
It's a cruel world, doll face.
You might as well get used to it.
Which part of "they kill us"
do you not understand?
I got my own set
of problems to worry about.
Besides, this birdcage can't
be that hard to bust out of.
In fact, watch me.
It's not so hard to get one
chicken out of here or even two,
but this is about all of us.
- All of you?
- That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
Wait a minute.
Let me get this straight.
You want to get every chicken in this
place out of here at the same time?
- Of course.
- You're certifiable.
You can't pull off a stunt
like that. That's suicide.
Where there's a will,
there's a way.
- Couldn't agree more.
I will be leaving that way.
- But...
- Mr. Rhodes?
- I'm the type of guy
- Please!
- That likes to roam around
I'm never in one...
So that's it.
You're from the circus.
You're on the run,
aren't you?
You wanna keep it down?
- I'm trying to lay low here.
I should turn you in
right now.
- You wouldn't. Would you?
- Give me one reason why I shouldn't.
Because I'm... cute?
Hey, hey, hey!
What kind of crazy chick are you?
- Do you know what'll
happen if he finds me?
- It's a cruel world.
I just decided.
I don't like you.
I just decided. I don't care.
Now, show us how to fly.
- With this wing?
- Teach us then.
- No!
- He's valuable, you say?
- Sure.
- Get the torch.
Now you listen here, sister.
I'm not going back to that life.
I'm a Lone Free Ranger.
Emphasis on free!
And that's what we want.
- Fancy that.
They're coming this way.
Oh, oh, no. No. Oh, no.
They're on to me.
Teach us to fly
and we'll hide you.
- And if I don't?
Was your father
by any chance a vulture?
Do we have a deal?
Time to make good
on that deal, doll...
The name is Ginger.
- Comfortable?
- Not really.
- Maybe this will help.
- Nice hideout.
Ouch. I had
more room in my egg.
We've held up our end of the deal.
Tomorrow you hold up yours.
- What deal?
- The flying!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, right, right. Don't worry.
I'll teach you
everything I know.
Now, which bunk is mine?
Absolutely outrageous!
Asking a senior officer
to share his quarters...
and with a noncommissioned
Yank, no less.
- Why, back in my day, I'd never...
- Hey!
You weren't exactly
my first choice either.
And scoot over.
Your wing's on my side of the bunk.
Your side of the bunk?
The whole bunk is my side of the bunk!
Just... What's that smell?
Is that your breath?
It's absolutely
So you wanna fly, huh?
Well, it ain't gonna be easy, and it
ain't gonna happen overnight either.
You see, flying
takes three things.
Hard work,
perseverance and...
- Hard work.
- You said hard work twice!
That's because it takes
twice as much work as perseverance.
Now, the most important thing is
we have to work as a team,
which means... you do
everything I tell you.
Right! Let's rock and roll.
- Oh. Oh, oh.
- Oh. Oh, oh.
Mrs. Tweedy!
The chickens are...
And left, two, three.
And right, two, three.
And... stop right there.
Oh, yeah, down.
Down. Yeah, yeah, make little circles.
That's it. Faster.
Oh, yes. Perfect.
Oh, that's the spot.
I thought you were going
to teach us how to fly.
That's what I'm doing.
Isn't there usually
some flapping involved?
Hey, do I tell you
how to lay eggs?
We're making progress.
Really? I can't help feeling
we're going around in circles.
What the... Hey! Cut it out!
You're making me dizzy.
I think they're
ready to fly now.
Good, because they
certainly can't walk anymore.
Up and at 'em, gals.
Let's flap.
Watch, Fetcher. Let's see if old
Attila the Hen has come to her senses.
- It's raining hen!
- What's this caper, love?
- We're flying.
- Flippin' hell. Look at this, Fetch.
- They're gonna kill themselves.
- Wanna watch?
- Yeah, all right.
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
- Ahh!
- Ahh!
Hey! Careful
of those eggs!
Sunny-side up.
Now they're over easy!
Definitely scrambled.
Go! Go! Go!
Go, go, go, go! Go!
Poultry in motion!
Birds of a feather
flop together.
Great work, ladies.
Great work!
The pain you're feeling
is a good thing. It's good.
Pain is your friend, okay?
It's a positive thing.
Just keep the faith there, uh...
What was your name? Agnes!
You'll get there.
Ducky, I think you
flew four feet today.
Right, four feet!
From the roof to the ground.
It's all part of the process, ladies.
Nothing to worry about.
Ya cheese-eating little...
- Whoa!
That doesn't sound good.
Ha, ha, ha.
Okay, the ground's shaking.
Are we worried?
Are we worried?
The circus.
Quick. Hide me.
- Hide me.
- Come on.
One isn't awarded a medal like this for
flapping about like a lunatic, what.
Now, see here!
This is an officer's quarters.
- Quick. In here.
- Get out of here immediately, sir!
Give it a rest, Pops.
Out of here! I shall have you
on a charge within the week.
Cheers, mate.
It's all in your head.
It's all in your head.
It's all in your head.
What... What...
What's all this then?
This is our future,
Mr. Tweedy.
No more wasting time with petty
egg collection and minuscule profits.
No more eggs?
But we've always been egg farmers.
Me father and his father and all
their fathers. They was always...
Poor! Worthless.
But all that's about to change.
This will take Tweedy's farm
out of the dark ages...
and into full-scale
automated production.
- Melisha Tweedy will be poor no longer.
I'll put it together
then, shall I?
This isn't good, Mac.
Whatever's in those boxes is for us,
and I don't think it's softer hay.
Aye, hen. And I hate
to be the voice of doom,
but I've been calculating my figures,
and I just don't think
we're built for flyin'.
But I saw him.
He flew in over that fence.
Aye, aye, I believe you,
but if we could
just see it for ourselves,
that may answer some questions.
You're right. I'm sorry.
We've been at this all week,
and we're getting nowhere.
If his wing were better, he could...
Oh! I'll have a word with him.
Where is he?
They didn't give me this medal
for being a Yank nanny.
A simple "I don't know"
would suffice.
Beware of that one,
young Ginger.
That Yank is not
to be trusted.
That Yank is our ticket
out of here.
And the pig says to the horse,
"Hey, fella, why the long face?"
Oh, oh, look, look.
Oh. Cocktail!
Give over!
So, um, anyway...
Remember those flying tips tomorrow.
They're very important.
Keep thinking
those flighty thoughts.
Oh, yeah.
They're swell chicks.
They really are.
Look at what Babs made me.
A beak warmer. Isn't that the cutest?
And that Bunty. She really packs a punch.
Is there a problem here?
- Have we flown over that fence?
- Not quite.
- Then there's a problem.
- Good things come to those
who wait, doll face.
- Okay, how long did it take you?
- To do what?
To learn how to fly.
Apples and oranges, baby doll.
I'm gifted. They're not.
You can't compare
the two, okay?
The point is,
these things take time.
Which we are rapidly
running out of.
- We haven't even lifted
off the ground. Why?
- Thrust.
I went over my calculations,
and I figured the key element
we're missing is thrust.
L-I didn't get
a word of that.
Thrust! Other birds like ducks
and geese, when they take off,
what do they have? Thrust.
I swear she ain't
usin' real words.
- She said we need more thrust.
- Oh, thrust.
Well, of course, we need thrust.
Thrust and flying are like this.
That's flying and that's thrust.
- Would you excuse us?
- Aye.
Ah, the wing,
the wing, the wing.
If we don't see some results
by tomorrow, the deal is off,
and you're on your own.
No more hiding.
The farmers will find you,
and it's back to the circus, flyboy.
You're the first chick I ever met
with the shell still on.
Sleep tight, angel face. The Rock's
on the case.
Cock-a-doodle-doo! What, what.
- Oh, it was a beaut, guv'nor.
- Hmm?
A fine piece of work,
if I do say so meself.
- I say so meself too.
- I wish I could have seen it.
We slipped into the farmer's room,
all quiet like.
- Like a fish.
- Yeah, and we...
"Like a fish"?
You stupid Norbert.
Anyway, guv, here it is.
- El merchandiso.
- That's Spanish.
- What are these two crooks doing here?
- So, you know each other.
She don't think
we're valuable.
Guys, you are
without a doubt the sneakiest,
most light-fingered
thieving parasites I've ever met.
- Oh, don't, don't. Stop it.
- I've gone bright red.
So, uh, how about them eggs?
- Eggs? Don't tell me
you promised them...
- Yep!
Promised them every egg
I lay this month.
And when can we expect
the first installment?
I'm brewing one up as we speak, guys.
I'll keep you posted.
Pleasure doing business
with you, sir.
- What?
- You've lied to them.
I didn't lie, doll face.
I just... omitted certain truths.
I'll give them exactly
what I promised.
- Which is nothing.
- Which is what I'll give them.
And what
will you give us?
You okay, sweetheart? Good, good.
Now this is just
a little helper.
Something to get you going.
It's a thrust exercise.
- The tension's killing me.
- It's gonna kill her!
- Release!
- Whoa!
Come on! Flap!
You can do it.
Flap, flap, flap!
Yes, yes, yes!
Is that your first offense?
- Oops. -
Roll call!
I haven't laid any eggs.
- Hide me.
- Three days and not one.
- Oh, no!
- Why didn't you tell us, Babs?
- Hide me!
We've been so busy
with the flying...
- They're coming!
- Hide me!
Hide yourself!
Double their food rations,
Mr. Tweedy.
I want them all
as fat as this one.
All of me life flashed
before me eyes!
It was really borin'.
Chicken feed.
My favorite!
Wait. Wait.
No. Wait!
Babs, please! Bunty!
Stop it! Wait!
Stop it!
Something is wrong here.
Can't you see that?
Strange boxes
arrive in the barn.
Babs stops laying, but they
don't take her to the chop,
and now they're giving us
extra food.
Don't you see what's happening?
They're fattening us up.
- They're going to kill us all.
Whoa, whoa! Heavy alert.
- She didn't mean that, gals.
- Do you mind?
Keep eating.
Save some for me.
What are you doing?
How dare you! Let go of me!
Listen. I've met some
hard-boiled eggs in my day,
but I'd say you're about 20 minutes.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- It means you got to lighten up.
Over in America,
we have this rule.
If you want to motivate someone,
don't mention death.
Funny. Over here, the rule is:
Always tell the truth.
That's been working like
a real charm, hasn't it?
Here's some free advice.
You want them to perform?
Tell them what they wanna hear.
You mean lie.
Here we go again.
You know what your problem is?
You're... difficult.
Why? Because I'm honest?
I care about what happens to them,
something I wouldn't expect a lone
free ranger to know anything about.
If this is the way you show it,
I hope you never care about me.
- I can assure you, I never will.
- Good!
- Fine!
What's all this?
Well, here she is.
Ask and you shall receive.
- That's biblical.
- That's real craftsmanship
is what it is.
- Solid as a rock.
- Ooh!
- It's supposed to do that.
- It's perfect, guys.
- And how's that egg coming?
This is a double yolker.
- I don't see what this has to do with...
You will.
We've been workin' too hard.
Time to kick back a bit,
shake those tail feathers.
Look at him.
Nellypodging around like a...
Oh, good heavens.
What's happenin'?
That's called a beat, sister.
Feel it pulsing through your body?
Oh, yes. Pulsing.
Fancy that.
Hey, well,
then go with it, baby.
Oh, my. Look!
I'm going with it!
Bunty, what's got into you?
Same thing that's got
into you apparently.
Flip, flop, fly
- I don't care if I die
- Just go with the flow, gal!
- Flip, flop, fly
- Let it go!
I don't care if I die
Don't ever leave me
Don't ever say good-bye
Now, see here. I don't
recall authorizing a hop.
Oh, shut up and dance.
- Oh! Oh!
- What are you sobbing about, you nancy?
Little moments like this, mate.
It's what makes the job all worthwhile.
Wanna dance?
Yeah, all right.
Now, give me one more kiss
Hold it a long, long time
Give me one more kiss
Hold it a long, long time
Love me, baby, till the feelin'
hits my head like wine
So fine
So glad you're mine
Flip, flop, fly
I don't care if I die
Flip, flop, fly
I don't care if I die
Don't ever leave me
Don't ever say good-bye
Don't ever leave me
Don't ever say good-bye
Yeah, don't ever leave me
Don't ever say good-bye
- Yeah
- Ooh!
Did ya see that? I flew!
Attagirl, Babsy.
- Oh! Your wing. It's better.
- Well...
- How about that?
- Fantastic.
You can fly for us
Uh, uh, yeah, so it seems.
I flew! I flew!
Looks like I owe you
an apology.
I didn't think you cared about us,
but after all this...
Well, it seems I was wrong.
Hey, easy, Miss Hard-boiled.
I might think
you're turning soft.
Uh, listen, there's
something I got to tell ya.
- L...
- No. You'd better wait here.
Ooh, that's champion,
that is. What is it?
It's a pie machine,
you idiot.
Chickens go in,
pies come out.
What kind of pies?
- Apple.
- My favorite!
Chicken pies, you great lummox!
Imagine it.
In less than a fortnight,
every grocers' in the county...
will be stocked
with box upon box...
of Mrs. Tweedy's
Homemade Chicken Pies.
Just Missus?
Woman's touch. Makes the public
feel more comfortable.
Oh, right.
How does it work?
- Get me a chicken and I'll show you.
I know just the one.
I've got a score
to settle with you.
Bloomin' heck!
They've got Ginger!
We mustn't panic.
We mustn't panic!
- Quiet there!
Quiet, I say!
Let's have some discipline, what, what.
The enemy has taken a prisoner.
This calls for retaliation!
- Retaliation!
- What's going on? What's happening?
They got Ginger, Mr. Rhodes.
They're taking her to the chop!
Well, what are you waiting for, laddie?
Fly over there. Save her!
Of course... No, no!
No, that's just what they'd expect.
But I say we give them
the old element of surprise.
And catch Jerry
with his trousers down.
I like the sound of that.
What's the plan?
The plan... The plan.
The plan... Uh, Babs!
Give me that thing.
Bunty, give me a boost.
Look at the size
of that thing.
Oh, no!
Chickens go in,
pies come out.
Chicken pies.
Not apple pies.
Oh, great.
- Yo, baby doll!
- Rocky!
- I'm coming!
- Hurry!
- I'm still coming!
- Come on!
- Stop this thing!
- I'm gettin' there!
Oh, shoot!
I'll be down before you can say...
Mixed vegetables!
Aaah! Ohh!
Get it?
- Dough!
- I'm stuck!
Nothing to it.
Ohh! Oh!
Hang on!
Look out!
Hey! Aha!
- Yes!
Oh, it's like
an oven in here.
Come on!
Wait up!
I'm com...
Don't leave...
Get over to the...
The door! Come on!
She's gonna blow!
- Huh?
What did you do,
you great pudding?
I didn't do 'owt!
- Turn it off!
- It won't turn off!
- Ouch!
- We've got to show the others. Come on.
Look! I fixed it!
- Chicken pies?
- Ohh!
- Oh, no!
- Yes, but...
- I don't want to be a pie.
- I don't like gravy.
Ladies, please.
Let's not lose our heads.
Lose our heads?
What I meant to say was, Rocky sabotaged
the machine and bought us more time.
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
And better still,
he's going to fly for us tomorrow.
- And once we've seen how's it done,
we'll get it.
So don't worry,
because tomorrow everything's going
to go much, much smoother.
All right, Pops,
what did I do now?
A very brave
and honorable deed, sir.
In the light
of your action this evening, l...
I dutifully admit that
I have misjudged your character.
So I present you with this
medal for bravery.
I salute you.
In honor
of the occasion,
I surrender the bunk
I shall sleep under the stars.
Oh, uh, I await tomorrow's
flying demonstration...
with great anticipation.
You and me both, Pops.
- Oh!
- I'm sorry. Were you...
- Is this your... I'll get down.
- No, no, it's just...
- Since you're here...
- No, I'm glad you're here, because...
- I'm sorry. You go first.
- You go ahead. I'll...
Um, I just wanted
to say...
I may have been
a bit harsh at first.
what I really mean is,
thank you...
for saving my life.
For saving our lives.
You know,
I come up here
every night...
and look out to that hill
and just imagine what it must
be like on the other side.
It's funny, I've...
I've never actually felt
grass beneath my feet.
I'm sorry.
Here I am rambling on about hills
and grass, and you had something to say.
Uh, y-y-yeah.
Um, it's just that,
y-you know,
life as I've experienced it,
you know, out there,
lone free rangin' and stuff,
it's, uh,
it's full of disappointments
and, uh...
What, you mean grass isn't
all it's cracked up to be?
Exactly. Grass.
It's always greener
on the other side.
And then you get there
and it's brown and prickly.
You see
what I'm tryin' to say?
What I'm trying to say is,
You're welcome.
You know,
that hill is looking closer tonight
than it ever has before.
Well, good night... Rocky.
Good night... Ginger.
Company, attention!
Well, today's the day, girls.
We're going to fly!
- I can feel it!
Finally, we get to see
a real professional in action.
Better start warming up.
I'll go and get him.
- Rocky. Knock-knock.
Everyone's waiting,
so I told them to...
Oh, a cannon.
Aye, that would
give you thrust.
I knew he was fake
all along.
In fact, I'm not even certain
he was American.
So, what's
the next plan, hen?
Let's face it.
The only way out of here
is wrapped in pastry.
Perhaps he just
went on holiday.
Perhaps he just went to get away
from your infernal knitting!
- Ohh! Ohh!
You were the one that was always
hitting him. See how you like it.
Don't push me, four-eyes!
- Quiet there!
Quiet, I say!
Dissension in the ranks.
Precisely what Jerry would have wanted.
The old
divide and conquer.
A proper squadron work together,
like we did in my R.A.F. Days.
Jocko at the stick,
Flappy at the map...
and old Whizzbang
at the tail-end Charlie.
WingCo would give the call,
hop in the old crate, chocks away!
Wizard show it was.
That's how you get medals.
Will you shut up about
your stupid blooming medals!
- Ooh!
How dare you!
- Madam, forgive me.
A-As an officer,
I offer my most...
Everyone, shut up!
What exactly is
the R.A.F.?
What do you mean,
what is it?
The Royal Air Force is what.
Then what's
the "old crate"?
There she is.
isn't she?
You mean, you flew
in one of these?
Beautifully built. In fact, there's
a bit of a story to that as well.
We were out on a "recce,"
you see.
Ops had given the go-ahead,
but the weather duffed up.
- Yes. Of course.
We might actually be able
to pull this off.
- We're still going to fly out of here.
- What, what?
provided the answer.
I have?
Uh, yes, yes, yes.
Of course I have.
Uh, how have I?
We'll make...
a crate.
Mac, you'll handle the engineering.
Babs, manufacturing.
Fowler will be
chief aviation advisor.
Bunty, eggs.
- Eggs?
- Eggs.
Right, just like the ones
that rooster was gonna lay.
Only roosters don't lay eggs,
do they?
- Don't they?
- No, it's a lady thing, apparently.
Ask your mum.
One egg for every item on the list.
First payment in advance.
Right! When do we start?
- Come on!
- Hey.
- Oh!
What the dickens?
Oh, gnomes now.
- Voila!
- Give me.
- Ohh! - All right, here.
Eggs from heaven!
- No! From her bum!
- Idiot!
- That was close.
Too close.
We can't stop now.
Come on, everyone! Go for it!
Really go for it!
Go, go, go, go!
- Mac, we need
those calculations quickly.
- Uh-huh.
Agnes, that has to be
really secure.
- Careful up there, Fowler!
- Roger!
give him a hand.
Well done, Babs.
Keep it up.
No problem, doll face.
Oh, I'm the type of guy
That likes
to roam around
I'm never in one place
I roam from town to town
And when I found myself
fallin' for some girl
I'd hop
right in that car...
And travel 'round the world
'Cause I'm a wanderer
A wanderer
I roam around and 'round
Around and 'round
I'm a wanderer
Yeah, a wanderer
Oh, boy.
I roam around and 'round
Around and 'round, around
Come on.
Oh, no.
He's fixed it.
- Get the chickens.
Which ones?
All of them.
Me tools!
Why, you thieving
little buggers!
What's the plan?
- Attack!
- Huh?
Nice plan.
- Mrs. Tweedy!
Mrs. Tweedy!
The chickens
are revolting!
something we agree on.
Help! Mrs...
Mmm... Mmm?
Under the hut.
- Come on!
- What have we done?
- This is it, everyone.
We're escaping.
- What, now?
- Now!
- But, Ginger, she's not ready.
- Listen.
We'll either die free chickens
or die trying.
Are those
the only choices?
- Let's do it.
- Scramble!
This way!
Mrs. Tweedy!
The exits are located
here and here.
In the quite likely event
of an emergency,
put your head
between your knees and...
Kiss your bum good-bye.
All right, Fowler,
ready for takeoff.
Behind you
all the way.
But you're
supposed to be up there.
You're the pilot.
- Oh, don't be ridiculous.
I can't fly this contraption.
Back in your day...
the Royal Air Force...
poultry division.
We were the mascots.
You mean you never
actually flew the plane?
Good heavens, no.
- I'm a chicken.
The Royal Air Force doesn't
let chickens behind the controls
of a complex aircraft.
- We're all gonna die!
you have to fly it.
You're always talking about back
in your day. Well, today is your day.
You can do it,
you old sausage.
Wing Commander
T.I. Fowler...
reporting for duty.
Well, come on.
What are you waiting for?
We haven't got all day.
Let's get this crate off the ground.
Fowler! Now!
Roger! Contact!
Cleared for takeoff!
Chocks away!
Chocks away!
- Full throttle!
- Full throttle!
We need more power!
I cannot work miracles, Cap'n!
We're givin' her all she's got!
- Gotcha!
- Hard right!
Oh, mother!
Turn her around.
I'll get the ramp.
- Put the ramp down.
You are going to be
a pie!
Heads up!
- Look out!
- Aah!
- Clear the runway!
Ginger! Let's go!
- We're flying!
- Aah!
- That's for leaving.
And this
is for coming back.
- Whoa!
- Uhh!
- Great Scot! What was that?
A cling-on, Cap'n!
And the engines can't take it!
Oh, goodness.
Babs! Scissors!
Lower me down.
- But, Ginger, l...
- Just do it.
Increase velocity!
- What does that mean?
- It means pedal
your flippin' giblets out!
- Lower!
- I'm trying!
- Aah!
- Aaah!
- Fowler, look out!
- Whoa!
- Oh! Ginger!
Fire! Fire!
- Me eggs.
More ammo!
- We got no more eggs!
- Ginger!
Look out!
- Huh?
- Bye-bye.
- Aaah!
- Bombs away!
- Mr. Tweedy!
Oh, that was good.
That was good!
The old bird bought it!
Mrs. Tweedy!
Mrs. Twee...
- Whoa!
I told you
they was organized.
We did it, everyone!
Ha, ha, ha, ha...
- Whoa!
Keep peddling! We're not there yet!
You can't see paradise
if you don't pedal!
Put your drumsticks
into it!
Put your drumsticks
into it!
That's what I told him,
what, what.
We were losing altitude, you see,
and heading for a fearful prang.
This is a lovely holiday.
I'll be sad to go back.
Safety at all times
is imperative.
wind 'er up and...
- Whee!
- Let 'er go!
- So...
is it as good
as you imagined?
- No.
- It's better.
- Come on. I'll show you
how to play cricket.
'Ey, 'ey, here's a thought.
Why don't we get an egg
and start our own chicken farm?
That way we'll have
all the eggs we could eat.
We'll need a chicken then.
No, we'll need an egg.
You have the egg first.
That's where you get the chicken from.
No, that's cobblers. If you don't have
a chicken, where you gonna get an egg?
From the chicken
that comes from the egg.
Yeah, but you have to have
an egg to have a chicken.
Yeah, but you gotta get
the chicken first to get the egg,
and then the egg...
you get the chicken out.
Hang on.
Let's go over this again.
All right.
When I get the blues
gon'get me a rockin' chair
When I get the blues
gon'get me a rockin' chair
When the blues overtake me
Gonna rock on away from here
Here comes my baby
flashin' a new gold tooth
Here comes my baby
flashin' a new gold tooth
Yeah, she's so small
She can rumba
in a pay phone booth
That's the truth.
Flip, flop, fly
I don't care if I die
Flip, flop, fly
I don't care if I die
Don't ever leave me
Don't ever say good-bye
Now, give me one more kiss
And hold it
a long, long time
Give me one more kiss
And hold it
a long, long time
Love me, baby, till the feelin'
hits my head like wine
So fine
So glad you're mine
Flip, flop, fly
I don't care if I die
Flip, flop, fly
I don't care if I die
Don't ever leave me
Don't ever say good-bye
Don't ever leave me
Don't ever say good-bye
- Bye-bye, bye-bye
- Ohh
Don't ever leave me
Don't ever say good-bye
The egg, obviously.
Rollin' along,
happy as Larry.
Then, crack!
Hatches into the first chicken.
Yeah, but where'd
the egg come from, then?
What do you mean,
where'd it come from?
Egg comes rollin' along, happy as Larry.
It's wonderin;
where'd it come from?
Without a chicken, you get
no egg to come rollin' along.
Well, conversely, without
an egg to hatch into the chicken,
there will be no chicken
to lay the other egg
that hatches into the chicken...
that lays the egg
I mentioned in the first place.
- So we got two eggs now?
- No, we're still talking
about the very first egg.
- But what happened
about the very first chicken?
- He's in the very first egg!
- Aren't you listenin'?
- Uh, guys. Guys?
Tryin' to enjoy paradise
over here.
- Oh, sorry, guv.
- Beg your pardon.
- Won't happen again. - Thanks.
- Gitface.
- Pillock.
Thinks he's such a big shot
'cause he's got his name on a poster.
These show biz folk
are all the same.
- Yeah, the rats
are the stars, actually.
- Yeah, of course they are.
- We do all the work,
he gets all the credit.
- But he does get all the birds.
- He gets everything.
- Yes, he does. Everything.
- You said it, mate.
- I know.