Chief Daddy (2018) Movie Script
It's Ebonylife
Family,
they say, is everything.
But sometimes discovering
true family starts
with a rude awakening.
I beg your pardon, Madam Pat.
I was not sleeping.
I was only in meditation of
counting plenty dollars, please.
You are a goat!
You should be having this kind
of meditation in your house!
I will not sleep again.
Don't downsize.
Madam Pat, Madam Pat!
- Stupid man.
If you come with me, I'm going to cut
your legs into pieces.
Madam Pat, please.
Please, Madam Pat.
Hello, Mum.
Pat.
Have you got the ingredients
for my raspberry ripple?
I'm not going to have dinner without it.
I have, ma'am.
Good.
And have you sorted out the, um,
itinerary for my Christmas
trip to Switzerland?
The request is on Chief Daddy's table.
I'll remind him when he comes back.
Has my son come back
from his studio session?
No, ma'am.
I'm back!
Man went on a little break and that,
but obviously, no days off and that.
Man's back in the booth, innit.
You get me?
Hold tight, wifey.
Hold tight, man dem.
Oy, oy, give me a little
bit of reverb on that.
You get me?
Man's going in, is a one-take ting.
Always on the block, posted up
Man dem try check me, but
Your girlfriend try chirps me, but
I dodged
She's not Penelope, she makes me laugh
Like ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha
Ha ha
Mess about, you get smacked
I be strapped, or get slapped
In the face, like brrap
brrap brrap brrap brrap brrap
Slap slap
Uh, and you better be strapped
- Whoa, man!
- So nice, baby!
Is that you, blood?
Mr. X, innit?
Bruv!
So excited to meet you, man!
- Yo, yo, yo.
Nah, you're the last person
I expect to see here, man.
Do you know what, yeah?
I know, obviously, man always
got ear on the road and that,
but how did you hear about me?
I didn't
hear about nobody, bro.
I came here to see my man,
we've done our business,
I'm out, man.
Nice to meet you, though.
Alright, bruv, bruv, sorry.
Can you turn that off?
Turn that off, man, what's wrong with you?
Sorry, boss.
What do you think about my tune?
Do you like it?
Guy.
That track is wack.
Listen, better take like three years,
17 months, go and think about music.
Alright, don't waste my time,
I'll see you later, yeah.
Alright, bless.
- Yeah, bro, nice one, yeah.
We'll finish up our business later.
Yeah, we'll talk about it.
Peace and blessings to everybody.
See you guys, man.
- Bye!
Baby! What did he say?
You done know, man love it, you know?
Alright, see you later, bruv, yeah?
Yeah.
He says he's really
interested in me, yeah,
and he thinks I'm sort of
mix of Biggie and Tupac,
but at the same time, still
like a Stormzy and a Skepta.
Wow!
Yeah, he even wants to do a remix.
Can you believe it?
Oh my goodness!
Mad, man, absolutely mad.
But baby, remember you promised me a car
when you get your first music deal.
Babe, you know I got
you, you know I love you.
Yeah.
Welcome, Chief Daddy.
I've prepared your favorite,
pounded yam and efo elegusi.
Chief Daddy sir, I fired the gate man
and employed a new one.
Lady Kay said I should...
But obviously
Man don't grow over there
Is this not my son?
Yes sir, that's Femi.
Why is he talking like that?
I don't know.
Hello?
How are you?
Good, good.
You want to come over?
Good.
It's time you met everyone anyway.
Good.
Bye bye.
Chief Daddy, remember
you said every member
of the family and staff should write down
whatever they want for Christmas.
Me, I just want...
- Pat.
Yes, Chief?
Write it down and put it on my desk.
I keep telling you everyday.
I'm sorry, sir.
Thank you, Chief Daddy.
Chief Beecroft.
My friend, he is a multi-billionaire,
and stop insulting him by
calling him ordinary billionaire.
Do you know this man said we
should write anything we want
for Christmas, and I wrote a duplex,
he did not even object.
Is that the person you are
calling just a billionaire?
I will talk to you later.
the dreamer.
What is your?
Come on, take me to the supermarket,
I want to go and buy some
things for my lady Kay.
Who, me?
Take you to supermarket?
Look, I am Chief Beecroft's chauffeur.
I am not your chauffeur, I am
not your Lady Kay chauffeur.
Do you understand?
No problem!
Yes, no problem.
- Chauffeur Donatus.
- Yes, that's me.
Okay.
Just wait and see.
Wait here.
Nonsense.
Nonsense...
Let's see who will cry.
Okay, so you can go and spoil my name?
No.
Chief Daddy, please
tell Donatus to drop me off
at the supermarket.
He has refused.
Chief Daddy, she's telling lies.
She couldn't allow me wipe
the jeep I was wiping.
Must you wipe the jeep
before you drop me off?
I'm not even going to drop you off.
Why won't you drop me off?
Because I'm not a common driver!
I'm Chief Daddy's chauffeur!
There's a difference!
Go and call Aloy, call Johnson.
They're the common drivers.
Chief Daddy, please
tell him to drop me off.
Chief Daddy, please,
I've come to remind you
of the meeting this
afternoon, between the Croft...
Chief Daddy!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Don't worry, don't worry.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!
I will carry, you
concentrate on the legs.
Easy, easy.
Easy.
No, you come, come, go first.
Come on, go this way, this way.
Hey!
Chief Daddy.
Daddy, no.
- Chief Daddy.
- Chief.
Go, go, go, go, bring water.
Water, let me give him respiration.
Eh?
One.
Two.
- Give him water.
Respiration.
Two.
Come on, open this, now!
I'm coming!
If you Chief Daddy.
Come now, open this, come on, open it.
One,
two,
three,
four,
five.
What?
Come, why did you have
to lock the first aid
in the first place?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Two.
Three; Chief Daddy, please.
- Take, take, take.
- Four.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme,
let's find something.
I want something that you can...
Okay, this.
What are you looking for now?
What thing they use to cover the nose
and then it pump oxygen.
- Oxygen mask?
- Eh.
In a first-aid box?
It's not possible, now.
It's not here!
Chief Daddy.
- So what do I do?
- Now you want.
One.
- Let me make a call.
Two.
Oh, Chief Daddy.
Oh, don't do this.
- Oh my goodness.
- Don't do this.
I don't have credit.
Give me your phone.
Eh? Phone?
I think I have credit...
- Give me your phone now!
You ever have credit.
No service.
- Ha!
- No service.
- Somebody give me phone!
- No service.
- Phone!
- Hey!
You can't die, Chief Daddy, you can't die.
One!
Two!
Three!
Four.
Five.
Six.
Chief Daddy.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine.
- Ring, now.
Ten.
Eleven.
Pick, now, pick!
Pick oh!
Good afternoon, Chief.
Dr. Bada, it's not
Chief, it's Madam Pat.
Something just happened now.
There's an emergency here.
Chief Daddy just collapsed.
He collapsed in the house!
Make sure he gets some air,
but please, don't move him
away from where he is.
I'm coming right over.
We should not move him?
He said we shouldn't move him.
Which can't move?
I don't know.
We didn't move him,
now, we carried him here.
Hey!
Chief Daddy.
- No, I think it is
because they want if police
come for investigation,
so that our fingers, they
will not see our fingerprints.
I don't think it means anything.
Why didn't you tell
me I was touching him?
Hassan, turn the car around.
Chief Daddy's place.
So?
Okay, sorry, sir.
One.
Oh!
Who art in Heaven...
- Where is he?
- Look at him there.
- Hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be...
Thank God, Lord almighty.
- Doctor.
- My God and my Father.
Please God, no.
Jesus!
Call him, call him.
Call him.
- Father, Lord.
Call Father.
Call Father.
Don't let him do this to us.
This good man.
This good man.
Thy kingdom come.
Daddy.
Daddy, wake up, Daddy.
It's okay, Chief Daddy.
Daddy.
Chief.
Chief oh.
- He's okay?
Chief Daddy has gone to rest.
Doctor, please tell me the truth.
What did you find out?
Madam, touch this material, now.
This is Swiss lace.
That price won't cut it.
The governor's wife, she just bought
this exact same material
from us a few hours ago.
Well, it's a bit on the high side.
- It's not high.
- Excuse me,
what you're holding is
actually the last piece,
and you can't get it anywhere else,
not in the whole of Lagos.
Run along, go to Mama Reese's shop
and ask her if she still wants
the red lace for her sister,
because this is the last piece.
- I think I'll take it.
- You'll take it?
- Yeah, sure.
- I like it, okay.
It's okay,
come, come, come, come.
Come on, pack it for her.
She will take it.
- Okay then.
Pack it well, eh?
Wrap it very nicely.
Madam, thank you so
much for your business.
If you need a tailor, I
have one who is fantastic.
You don't want any useless
tailor ruining that fabric.
Don't worry.
Okay, thank you, thank you.
Current or savings?
Current.
Okay.
Thank you very much, ma'am.
Have a nice day.
- Thank you!
- Bye!
- Alright, bye.
It works all the time.
She didn't want to pay.
So, how much?
Okay, this one is $3,000.
Madam, thank you.
Don't worry, maybe next time, eh?
Uh-uh, Sis, you can't
be the only one absent
out of all our friends.
- $3,000,?
- Yes!
Okay, what about this set?
It's way cheaper, $1,000, and
it's perfect for the occasion.
No way.
Mm-mm, mm-mm.
But Sis, this looks
nice, and it's cheaper.
Your father's wife, she has this set.
This one?
Ah, perfect.
We'll go with this $3,000 one.
Okay.
Sis, Chief Daddy will
give us the money, yes!
His money's not only meant for his son
and that's his wife.
It's our money, we have
to spend it.
Hello, what is it?
Look, I'm very busy.
Pass the list for Christmas.
Sis, what is it?
What is it?
Let me have the phone.
Hello?
Chauffeur Donatus, are you there?
Sis, let's go, let's go.
Hey, please, pack
pack pack, go go go go.
Hey!
- Here are the car keys.
Thank you.
Madame, madame, pack
your things, we are going.
Hey!
Hey!
My hero is gone.
Frank D.
My Dangote is gone!
Oh, death.
Death has eliminated my master.
I will talk to you later,
I will talk to you.
What happened?
Hey!
Chief Daddy.
Chief Daddy!
Hey!
Hey.
What happened?
Madam, this afternoon,
Chief Daddy just collapsed.
So, we rushed to him, and
then we called Dr. Bada
to come and examine.
Dr. Bada came here, examined him...
Why am I the last person to
hear about my husband's death?
Kemi, let's not start an
unnecessary argument here!
Ah, Chief Daddy.
Man's always on the block
Posted up, uh
Mess about and get slapped
Get banged, brrak, brrak, bang
Uh, done know
My skill done know
Bare gash on the ends, yeah
Done know
Get me
Hold tight, all my man dem
Yeah
Hold tight, fam-a-lam, yeah
It's a Beecroft ting
Hold tight, all my fam-a-lam
One shot for da man dem
Please tell me, yeah, you lot
have heard my dope new tune.
Ah!
Nah, man's about to be famous, you get me!
Do you know what, yeah?
I murked it, slapped it
up, and killed it again.
I love that, man, this one's hot.
You have killed him
with all your troubles!
- What's she talking about?
- Your father is dead!
Mom, is this some sort of joke?
Mom?
Goddamn!
Oh man, oh damn!
Chief Daddy's gone.
I suggest we go to Dr.
Bada's hospital first,
then meet tomorrow to decide what next.
Where is Kemi?
Who told you?
Lady Kay.
We need to call Castle and Castle
and get Tega here, to
make sure he executes
all matters pertaining to Chief's will.
Yes.
Excuse me.
My husband's body is barely cold,
and the first thing out
of your mouth is his will?
I can't believe it!
Eh eh eh?
Let me warn you, Kemi.
You better put your head in the clouds
where it has always been!
Everybody knows me, oh.
You all know Ajoke, I'm a realist.
Yes.
And as it is now, we
have to give my brother
a befitting burial, a one-in-town burial,
and you know it costs money, oh.
- Yes.
- Many.
Yes.
Wait, hold on a minute, yeah?
Let me get this straight.
You lot talking about my money
like man's not even here.
It's not rocket science, is it?
Obviously, heir to the throne
and that, only son, yeah?
Dad's money is my money, get me?
- Where are you running to?
- Karma, innit?
It's karma, innit?
When I heard everything...
Just keep your mouth shut!
And I've told you repeatedly,
when elders are talking, you shut up!
When I inherit everything, yeah,
I wanna watch you tell
my billions to shut up.
It's karma, innit?
Hey, you just shut up your mouth!
Kasali.
Kasali, this is what you call a jumpsuit?
Well, I thought they
said they wanted a kaftan.
Is that what I said to you?
Did I not tell you they needed a jumpsuit?
I remember my instructions specifically.
Hello? Tega?
Nike.
I'm so sorry, Tega.
I didn't know it was you.
No no no.
I'm at the shop, my assistant is here.
Well, Chief Daddy
passed away yesterday.
Where is this boy?
Sorry,...
Say you kept me waiting for over an hour
before you opened the bloody gate!
- I no hear the...
- Keep quiet!
Who is it now?
Eh?
Who is it that wants to kill my battery?
Hello, Lawyer Castle.
Ekanem?
Yeah, champagne popping!
Another one, another one.
Yeah, girl!
- Get this, get this.
- Okay.
Hold on.
Anyway, I need a drink.
Hello, Uncle Tega.
Ah, this one that you called me today,
I hope I'm safe, oh.
Chief Daddy has gone where?
Oh, now, I told him not
to go without me, now,
where has he gone to now?
Monaco?
Seychelles?
What?
I think you should start
making your way to the house.
Come to the house?
Uncle Tega, you know I can't now,
I don't want his wife's wahala.
At least not today.
Eh? You are already on the way?
I'm on my way oh.
Ay ay ay, close my door, close my door.
I say close my door!
So, who's gonna be making all
these types of calls for you
when you're gone, hm?
Boss, I've got money, you know?
Boss, I've got money.
Basically, yeah, my dad,
he's just passed away, innit.
He's dead.
Yeah, you know, I gotta be strong, I know,
I gotta be strong, but
man's always strong.
You know what I mean?
But, basically, he's
left me a lot of cash,
a shitload of money.
So what I'm gonna do, I'm
gonna slap up the track,
we're gonna reproduce it Grammy-style!
See what I mean?
Top-notch.
Yeah, basically, yeah, I'm
gonna be a flipping billionaire.
Yeah, definitely.
Do you know what, boss?
I'm gonna have to ring you up later, yeah?
Alright then, chat to you in a bit.
I really do not understand
why we have to wait three months
before we have the funeral?
It is our final decision.
That is it, final!
But how can you come to my house
and laud decisions over me?
Oh, really?
Your house?
- You lot cool, yeah?
Yeah.
I really don't think any
lawyer worth his salt will...
You alright?
So you can't greet?
"You mean, you alright"?
- What?
You gotta be so extra, man?
Aw, aw, Lady Kay.
I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
Everything is going to be fine.
Amen.
They're never worth the pain.
Hi, Lady Kay.
How are you?
I'm so sorry.
I have to take this.
Hello?
Oh, yes.
What, now?
Today?
Okay, I'll call you right back.
Ah, man.
What could possibly be more
important right now, Tega?
I don't know, this was unplanned for.
Oh, God.
I didn't want to have to
deal with this crazy family
all by myself.
I know, that's why we came; I'm sorry.
I really have to go.
Let me give you the codicil.
You owe me one.
I know, I know, I'm so sorry.
Here you go.
Lady Kay, I'm so sorry,
but I have to leave,
but she will take care of everything.
Alright?
Mrs. Castle, I love you.
Mwah.
I'm sorry.
Good afternoon, everyone.
Good afternoon.
And where is Tega?
Oh, he had an emergency.
Not to worry, your brother
is just as much my client
as Tega's at Castle and Castle.
I know.
So, my name is Remi Castle,
and I will be chairing this meeting.
We have already picked a funeral date.
In fact, we were just about to
discuss funeral-party matters
when you came in.
I see.
Well, once again, good
afternoon, ladies and gent.
I'm not going to go into
a condolence speech,
because we all know that Chief...
This one doesn't have a problem,
but about her, forget it.
Is that her?
No, codename.
- As I was saying...
- No.
- As I was saying...
- No, no, no, no, Remi.
What are you doing here?
You don't even have the
decency to keep away
after he's dead?
Get out of my house!
Eh eh, eh eh, eh eh.
She's his mistress!
Kemi, you've forgotten
that you came in the same way,
when their mother was on her sickbed,
so, please!
Look, Aunty Ajoke.
Obviously, I'm gonna have to disagree
with your logic on that.
Anyone that hasn't got a child for my dad
is illegitimate, in my opinion.
Obviously, I'm talking as the
one-and-only legitimate child
of the family...
- Excuse me,
who do you think she is?
Chopped liver?
Is she my father's...
Can't you see the resemblance?
Hm.
It is heartbreaking, and beyond reason,
that I have just lost my husband
and I am thrown into this circus!
I will not take it.
I will walk out of this meeting
if this woman and her daughter
do not leave this minute!
Peter?
Paul?
What is wrong with these two?
- Come, come!
- Wait, wait, wait for me.
Oh my gosh.
Peter! Paul! Come back here!
I'm going to smack you if you
do not stand in your place!
Who is this woman?
Now, go and sit down there.
What are you doing here?
Why don't you ask Lawyer Castle?
That woman is fire!
Hot!
Who are you?
Isn't that obvious?
Well, it is.
You can see, they look
very much like my brother.
Which brother?
Are you talking about my dad?
Ah, lawyer lady, are
these people part of us?
No, that is the wrong question.
Yes, they are family.
No, mm-mm, Remi.
No.
I am not going to have a meeting
in front of all these illegitimates!
Illegitimate?
You know what, Kemi?
I knew it would come to this.
This is the evidence
of my customary wedding certificate.
With Chief Daddy?
Eh-heh?
Aunt Ajoke.
Nah, this is crap.
It's not crap oh, this is original.
From my experience as a file-carrier
for the local government,
I think this is original.
Thank you.
This is an original.
Okay oh, in case anyone
here is about to ask me
of my own legitimacy evidence...
Oh my God!
Peter and Paul!
I told you boys to sit in a place!
I told you to sit still.
Sit still!
Let me hear one more word
from you and I'll beat you up!
Okay.
Hi, hi, hi, hi.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
Okay...
- Who is this?
- This is Cici Ice Cream.
Ice Cream?
Yeah, that's
Chief Daddy's Ice Cream.
Hi, sorry I'm late.
My name is Justina, but
you can call me
Cici Ice Cream, and I'm
Chief Daddy's favorite.
Nah, this is bollocks.
I thought this was supposed to be
a dignified family meeting!
Who called all these people?
Tega and I, well, we did.
Remi?
Based on Chief Daddy's
instructions, they are family.
Remi?
Look, I'm done.
Clearly, you lot are trying to violate me,
but I'm not gonna be
humiliated in my yard, alright?
Man's done with this.
Get me?
Oh.
So you don't want to listen
to your father's last instructions?
Oh well, then,
you are very free
to excuse yourself, Femi.
Period.
And we are all here for one person.
Even though we may not like
what the present situation is,
we need to remember that that one person
meant everything to us.
Now,
the codicil.
What's a codicil?
Aren't we here for the will?
Not yet.
We must read the codicil first
because it has Chief's instructions.
Then, we read the will.
Do you know what, yeah?
I feel like we're just going
'round and 'round in circles,
and we're not even making any progress.
Man's not built for this, you know.
Everyone is well aware that
I'm the only legitimate son
in this family.
Yes?
- Am I at the right place?
- Yes?
Come in.
- Hey, how's it going?
Hey.
What's wrong?
Are you not Dami
Baggio, of Old Trafford?
Yeah, that would be me.
Wonderful!
Come, come, come, come!
Dami Baggio!
This is wonderful.
This is Dami Baggio.
This boy handles football,
he types it like typewriter.
He plays for Real Manchester,
similar to Baggio,
the one that used to
score balls with impunity.
Thank you, thank you so much.
- Dami Baggio!
- It's nice to meet you.
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
I am really sorry to
interrupt your meeting.
I came to see my dad.
Who is your dad?
Chief Beecroft; he asked
me to come over today,
I just got into town.
Chief Daddy?
Chief Beecroft, yes.
He is the same person.
Chief Daddy Beecroft.
You are his son?
I thought I have seen it all.
He has gone to rest.
Chief Daddy has passed away.
That's why we're all here.
I'm so sorry to break it to you like this,
but Chief Daddy passed away yesterday.
You alright, bruv?
You cool, yeah?
Did you say your dad?
How old are you?
He's old enough,
because I know him before you.
In fact, you were still
in secondary school
when I started hearing about the boy.
27?
27 years old.
You know, I've read a lot about you.
He's 27 years; you are
25, so he's your senior.
- He's right.
- You understand?
That is not football age.
His actual age, I read about it.
Dami Baggio, you're welcome.
This is wonderful.
That can't be.
Obviously, you lot are
mucking about, you get me?
Man's the only legitimate
son in this family,
so I'm not gonna have this, alright?
I am not having this.
Well, there may be illegitimate parents,
but never illegitimate children.
Thank you.
That's your rightful position.
Remi, please,
read whatever it is you
have come here to read.
I need to get out of here.
I have here the last
wishes of Chief Beecroft.
Dearest family...
- Dearest family,
we all make mistakes,
and I've sure made a few.
To err is human; to forgive, divine.
I apologize for my missteps,
but one truth I know for sure
is everyone present in this
room at this moment is family.
None of you will I ever call a mistake.
None.
I want to be laid to rest
a week from the reading
of this instruction.
If there is any incidence
of rancor at my funeral,
my will will not be read.
If all goes well, no rancor,
no fight on that day,
the will will be unlocked;
else, it will be read
after 70 years.
70 what?
There will
be roles assigned to everyone
in this meeting.
If all do not start to act
out the roles in two days,
the organization of the
funeral will be passed on
to my church, and the
will will not be unlocked.
These are the assigned responsibilities:
the event planning,
catering, and all matters
pertaining to Aso ebi will be
handled by my Teni and Tinu;
they are like me:
My dearest wife, Kemi, Madam Perfect,
will handle all matters
pertaining to the church.
She spends most of her time there anyway.
My son, Femi, will handle
protocols for dignitaries.
He needs to be more organized.
Nike, my one-and-only tomato juice,
will make uniforms for
all the orphanage kids.
Ekanem, my energetic,
hot like pepper, will
channel her legendary energy
to organize all things music at the party.
That's her favorite pastime, anyway.
Justina, my ever-delectable
Cici Ice Cream,
will be in charge of publicity.
Those are the kinds of things she likes.
Ireti, my fickle daughter,
my dearest psychologist,
will offer her services
to any of the bereaved
who might need it.
Damilare, remember our last conversation
about a peaceful family.
Well, the time to put
actions to words is now.
Can you try and help keep the peace?
My loyal driver, Donatus, or
my loyal chauffeur, Donatus,
as he loves to be
called, will be in charge
of all things logistics.
Ah, this man, our guy,
he always making me laugh.
Making me laugh even in Heaven.
Madam Pat, the superwoman
who keeps the house
running, will take charge
of hearse and undertaker services.
I've always trusted you with
getting delicate things done,
and you've never failed me.
Come, come, come, come, wha, wha, wha.
What is happening here?
Why has my name not been mentioned?
Eh?
What's going on?
- Ajoke.
- Ajoke,
my ever-impatient sister.
We discussed last year about a
trust fund for the orphanage.
I want you to make that happen,
and also take charge for all
the activities to be undertaken
by the orphanage at my funeral.
Two other critical points
that you must all note.
I want every one of you here in this room
to stay together in my
house for the next few days
leading to the burial.
I know how much my family like to party,
but I only want family at my grave site,
and a small after-party.
If you can all unite, take
up your responsibilities,
and get this done for me without rancor.
Eyes have not seen, ears have not heard
the things I have for you all in my will.
I pray you all not to mourn,
just celebrate my life.
Protocol?
Psh.
What is protocol?
Look, I'm only gonna say this one, yeah,
and you lot better fucking listen.
Eh?
Yeah.
Man's gotta be in charge
of music that day.
If you don't let that happen, yeah,
I'm gonna get all my man
dem, we're gonna come there,
and wreck the party.
'Cause y'all getting me
vex right now, honestly.
Please, what color of Aso ebi are we wearing?
Blue of course, that is
Chief Daddy's favorite color.
Beni.
What?
My husband's favorite color is gold.
It's green.
No, Chief's favorite color was red.
Red?
Someone that is always
wearing white up and down?
It is white.
The Aso ebi is gold.
Please, that is my
husband's favorite color.
I mean, I should know my
husband better than anybody.
Obviously, you really do.
Get out of my house!
Remi, what on Earth did I do
that my husband would
humiliate me like this?
Don't take it that way, hm?
I may not know exactly
what his reasons are,
but I know 100%, he didn't
mean it in bad faith.
So, I will be here in
two days at 10:30 a.m.
To receive the budgets on behalf of those
whose responsibilities call for it.
Good luck.
Oy, Mrs. Castle.
Is she being serious?
Will or no will, I
will not be railroaded
into planning my husband's funeral
with a bunch of people who
almost destroyed my home.
don't start.
Don't you let me start reliving
how my mother developed
high blood pressure that
eventually killed her,
just because you became
my dad's girlfriend!
Listen, there are some things
you have no moral rights
to talk about!
Look, guys, guys, guys,
guys, come on, okay?
In this culture, when
elders are talking,
you do not speak unless you are spoken to,
or requested to speak.
What about your son?
I suppose you want to
say something as well?
Yes, I think he's right.
This is more about Dad than any of us.
Thank you.
Now, both of you, shut it.
Eh-eh, Kemi, it's enough.
Let me tell you, when
we elders are sleeping
and facing the wrong direction,
and we have these young ones like this,
telling us the truth, we
should accept our faults.
What these two are saying is right,
and let me tell everyone seated here,
we are talking about my brother here.
The way and manner in
which some people jumped
to their responsibilities, it
would seem like they need it
to survive.
Oh, heavenly Father,
please, save these paupers
from the spirit of hunger.
- Amen!
- What did you say?
- What did you just say?
What did you just hear?
Take a very good look at me, oh.
You have gone too far.
Too far!
Wait a minute.
Hey, it's alright, let her be.
We will see who the pauper is here.
Let me tell you, just count
me out of this funeral.
As if I care.
Mum, we're talking about billions here...
Hey!
We will see who the pauper is!
You plan the funeral yourself!
- With pleasure!
- Sis, calm down.
Please.
Please don't leave, please.
Madam Pat, where is the key to my room?
Um, peace of the Lord
be upon this house.
Salome, salome.
Oh, I can sense the peace
of the Lord in here.
Of course, anywhere our
dear sister Lady Kay is,
the peace of the Lord
is always in abundance.
Shall we pray?
Oh Lord our God, you are
our beginning and our end.
Hi, Mum?
No, I don't know, it's...
I don't know how to explain it, okay?
Everyone is crazy, Mum.
I know they're family, but...
Hello?
Mummy...
Don't mummy me.
Mom, listen, they're all crazy!
As in every single one of them.
I know they're family;
alright, I'll try, okay?
Let me call you back.
I'll call you back!
Alright, love you too.
Hi.
Hey.
So, question, is it just me
or is it a madhouse in here?
Expect everything.
We should
do it for Chief Daddy.
Let this be the first and last time
you discuss this with me!
Understood?
- Yes, I'm sorry, ma'am.
- Sorry, ma'am.
What are you looking at?
How in
the world am I supposed
to keep the peace in a circus like this?
Well, you certainly
can't do that from a distance.
Alright, I'm listening.
You do it by talking.
Right.
Seriously.
One person at a time.
Girl, I have a question
to ask you today
Will you marry me even
though I met you today
- Call my name.
- Famzy.
- Call me Big Money Famzy.
- Big Money Famzy.
Baby, call me Big Money Famzy!
Big Money Famzy!
Famzy.
Man's about to rip you up tonight.
I like it, Famzy.
Man's getting aroused, you know.
Famzy!
Alright, who's at my door, man?
How dare she even insinuate
that we are paupers?
It's because I'm not married.
If I were married, I
dare her to even try it!
That's where all the
disrespect is coming from!
It's because you are not married oh,
Kemi lacks home training!
Is it not that useless
woman my father picked
from the gutter and made the secretary?
And then she became his
wife through the back door!
Ole, ole!
Eh-heh?
Sorry to disturb you.
Femi, can I talk...
Give peace a chance.
Justina, can we just please...
- Yes?
- Hey, so I'm thinking
that we can just talk...
Don't even have one dollar
These angels, they
That was fun.
All the features and that,
what's protocol to a man like Famzy.
Yo, Mum...
Stop it.
Mum.
I mean, stop it!
Where did you get all this,
"Yo, yeah," and things from?
Why you gotta be so extra, Mum?
That's my brand, innit?
Street attitude.
If I'm gonna be a successful...
You are not a street brat.
You're a Beecroft.
Street attitude, Mum,
you need to allow it.
Alright, I'm sorry, Mum.
I'm sorry.
Thing is, yeah.
Dad's instructions, so I
started working on the budget.
I separated the one from the church, yeah.
I spoke to your friend...
Don't waste your time.
As the Lord lives,
I will not be treated
as a second-class citizen in my own home.
I don't care, let the heavens fall.
I'm not begging anybody oh.
Hey,,
it is best to stoop to conquer oh.
Going down to that
meeting is like begging her.
After she called us paupers?
Me, among the meal, I'm
thinking of adding a few millions
to the budget I'm going to present,
because there's no way this
funeral will be peaceful.
Not with all these extra
wives and children.
If the will is not read,
you better start thinking
of how you are going
to pad up your budget with some millions.
That is the Aso ebi.
For that to happen, we have
to get Kemi to the meeting.
We
are not begging anybody!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey.
I suggest we make good use of
these funeral responsibilities
we've been given.
You know, budget-padding things,
so we don't get to lose
out on everything oh.
Since we are all
in the same boat together...
Eh eh eh!
Wait.
You and who?
You seriously have no manners.
You know, I honestly
think you are in need
of some home training,
you little gold digger.
She really does.
Interesting,
coming from a five-k-a-day
red-carpet hostess
who stole her best friend's sugar daddy.
And you, an apprenticed fashion designer
who was asked to deliver a
dress to her August client oh
and end up sharing her husband with her.
At least me,
I work for Chief Daddy.
Designation, PE.
Is it who you are talking to?
Do you know who I am?
I will reverse your face for you!
Don't let me call Uncle Tega for you!
Uncle Tega!
Don't let me call Uncle Tega!
You leave this house!
No no no no no, leave her alone.
Don't let her call Tega.
Hey!
Eh-heh?
- It's okay.
- Eh?
- It's okay.
Okay.
If I call Uncle Tega for
you now, your money is gone.
Hey!
Call Uncle Tega!
You and your Tega!
- Go and call him!
You silly little girl!
How old are you?
I don't even blame you!
I don't blame her!
It's not your fault!
No, it's not!
I don't blame you.
- Damn.
But, about the budget.
Hm.
It's not such a bad idea.
Hmm.
Well, I've got two in one, yeah.
Mine and my mum's.
My one-and-only account officer.
How are you?
Girls, it is done.
You are talking to a steady millionaire.
I'm going to pay you your money cash.
Hey, Ireti.
You know, with all the numbers
that I've scrunched here,
do you realize how much we stand to make?
Ireti, seven million Naira.
Ah, Mummy.
Mummy!
With VVIP Events, we take
care of every single detail,
from the big ones to the tiny ones.
And trust me, with VVIP
Events, you are in good hands!
Good hands!
Now, with VVIP Events, all we need to do
is start with finalizing
the date and the time
of the funeral; it is
a funeral, I presume?
Yes, it is a funeral,
and we can pick a theme,
we could book a venue, and
we just get the ball rolling.
Now, you have to pay a deposit,
but who cares about that?
We can talk about that later.
That is how we work at VVIP Events!
What did you say, ma'am?
I can hear you, Doctor,
talk to me.
Yes.
It is not fair, it is not fair.
Last week you said there was
going to be an epidemic,
and that you were going to refer
some customers to us.
Whats going on?
Doc, what you are saying now
is very upsetting.
How can you say there have
been no deaths,
since the beginning
of this year?
Whats with all this
healthy living,
and spas that people
are all going to?
My business is dying.
Hello?
Doctor!
He hung up on me?
Hello, Madam Pat?
Good afternoon, ma'am.
Joro D, I have business
for you people.
Chief Daddy just passed
away, and I'm in charge
of services.
Chief Daddy's dead?
Eh?
Chief Daddy's dead?
Stop sleeping in the
damn coffin.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Chief Daddy died?
Hello, ma.
We have different burial
packages we can offer you.
We have Bronze, Silver, Gold
and even Olympic.
Our Olympic package is very
special,
for heavy hitters
like Chief Daddy.
So, we just use cow
and use the...
We even suggest we bring in
pallbearers from Madagascar.
You know Chief is a heavy
hitter in our society.
What do you mean heavy?
So, in the likely event of
an unforeseen circumstance,
your event is insured
to the highest...
How much are you charging us?
Seriously?
Madam.
It is high-end, quintessential
events planning.
Now, at VVIP Events...
How much does my father weigh?
We dont mean heavy like that,
but as in his status
in the society.
Chief Daddy was a man of
status in our society,
so we must make sure his spirit
is protected in heaven.
Oh, shut up!
Are you both done talking
absolute crap?
This is our budget.
For the undertakers and all
that goes with it.
No more, no less!
Its all about building
relationships,
because when all of you die,
you come to us.
You will die before me.
Are you accepting to be
paid this amount?
Sister, I think weve found
ourselves a better deal.
Just this relationship
be the, you know...
You have to do nothing.
Just attend the event and
we take care of everything.
Look at this, let me
show you how.
You see?
He is going to be in
that car and in that...
Madams?
Consequently, we can negotiate!
Do you have any capable
person who can handle
short-notice event
planning and catering
at a friendly price?
Mm-hmm, wait here.
See, the thing
is, we have somebody
that can give you
international crews, and...
Will he cruise in?
Hello?
Madam Tasty?
Hello?
Madam Tasty?
Ay?
What's the job?
Event
catering and everything.
Ah, deal, deal, deal.
Thank you.
Simbi!
Simbi!
Simbi!
Wait.
We are set, we are set oh.
- Everything with this budget?
- Everything inside it!
Everything is there.
Everything is there.
Madam.
I'm still awaiting your
favorable response?
Sorry, we
are no longer interested.
What?
Sorry, they are no longer interested.
This is preposterous!
This is preposterous!
Calculator is not working.
Let me do it, it's okay.
Leave it.
Mom, let me help you.
When did I see you last?
You always do this.
Okay, let's do it together.
I missed you.
I missed you too, my darling, welcome.
- Madam Pat, hi.
- Yes, my dear.
I'm gonna need your
help to speak with...
Meet my last daughter, Adoora.
She just came back from London a week ago.
She's a student of London
School of Economics.
Hi.
I'm Damilare; it's nice to meet you.
I know you.
Yes, yes.
I know you!
Yeah, he's a footballer with Manchester.
Oh, yes, exactly!
Oh my God.
What on Earth are you doing here?
So, it's a bit of a funny story,
but this is my father's house.
Oh.
Yeah, I
can barely believe it.
Wow, this is just...
This is so surreal.
I mean, how comes I've never
bumped into you here before?
I actually just got back into town.
First time, actually.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Wow.
Come on,
I'll take you inside.
The Damilare.
In Nigeria,
I'm just Dami, okay?
What?
Come on,
just Dami, seriously.
What's the excitement?
Why are you excited?
Something is, you look like...
- Nothing.
Nothing.
- Nothing?
I don't believe you.
I don't at all.
It looks like a penis.
I'm sorry, but
it's true, seriously.
Look at that.
- Ah yes.
- Ah!
We're not bastards.
What are they all doing here?
He has houses all over Lagos!
Are you stupid?
She's very rude.
She's extremely rude!
What level of madness has possessed you?
No, let them beat
themselves to a stupor.
Who fighting, no need.
One more day, Lady Kay.
One more day and it's all over.
All roads lead to Beecroft
Avenue, Victoria Island,
tomorrow, for the funeral party
of renowned industrialist,
Chief Akinwale Beecroft.
EO Now has just obtained some
exclusive insider information
from a former member of
staff of Castle and Castle,
identity withheld, with regards to
the late Chief Akinwale's will.
Is this true?
Well, the
domestic staff responsible
has been sacked.
The generous industrialist
willed to his wife,
children, relatives,
and all connected to him
hundreds of millions of Naira.
Even his housekeeper and
driver were not left out
of the sharing jamboree,
with 50 million Naira each.
You guys should come early oh, eh heh,
so we can all roll
together to the reception.
Babe, let me call you.
Dami!
Shit!
Shit! Shit!
Hey, sister.
Excuse me?
I am your father's wife.
Oh, hi, Stepmom.
Sorry, I wanted to ask for a favor,
I don't know if you
could help me with that...
What is it?
Sorry.
If you have something to
say, you better say it quick,
because I have to go pick up my kids
from my mom's place
for the church service.
So what is it?
I know I haven't really been
on my best behavior and that,
but I was thinking, yeah?
Dad's reception, I really
wanna perform my hit single,
the Famzy Anthem, and I was thinking,
I got two new tracks off
my new album as well,
all done and completed.
I feel like if I drop it,
everyone's gonna be jumping up
in the reception, so I feel
like if you let me do that,
I'd really appreciate it.
I dunno if you could help me with that.
Actually, I think you can.
Really?
Oh, thank you so much.
On one condition.
Clean that ya well, now.
Where are you?
I will slap you, now!
Hurry up!
My friend, sweep this one quick.
Hurry up, people are coming!
Have you arrived?
Roger, over!
Over and out, Roger.
414, 212.
Over, over.
Joro D.
I still haven't gotten an alert.
I have used my money for
the table and decorations.
You will get it.
I don't wanna go there!
You!
You, get down!
Get down! Come down!
Come down!
Listen, I don't know what you're doing!
I'm emotional!
- Don't be emotional.
Just pay me my money!
I have delivered!
Yes, thank you very much.
This is the celebration of life
of Chief Akinwale Beecroft.
You know what they say, it is
not how long you have lived,
or how well, but have
you learned how to dance
in Heaven below?
Er, in Heaven above?
Or below?
Where do you think that
Chief Akinwale has ended?
I leave you to figure that out.
Anyway, I am yours in celebration.
My name is Onyekachi Anyamu,
AKA Continental David,
as fondly called by my fans,
both home and the abroad.
I promise you that it shall...
Yes.
A rich display of culture.
We are all one.
Is that a part of the program?
How can all the food
be finished?
What do you mean?
Madam Tasty.
Calm down, calm down.
You want to see me?
Come and see me.
Madam Tasty, give us food now.
We are hungry and you're
refusing to give us food.
Shut up!
Both of you.
Can we have some
Spaghetti Bolognese?
Can we have some fish fingers?
You are sick, both of you.
You want to eat, so you can
open your mouth and eat.
Where is my balance, eh?
Where is my balance?
You are disgracing me in
front of my customers!
You promised me my
balance 2 days ago.
You haven't paid me and
you want to eat?
Where is my balance?
You
must be crazy
I haven't been paid and
you want feeding?
Joro, Joro, Joro!
Over there, she is at 8 o'clock.
She's at 8 o'clock, 8 o'clock.
8 o'clock, 8 o'clock.
It's okay, it's okay.
We thank you, we thank you.
We are not here for party,
we are here for funeral.
Thank you.
You are very well.
You have danced well.
Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, please,
let's give it up for the upcoming,
the over-talented, future
Grammy-award-winning
and Oscar-winning superstar, AK Famzy!
Give it up, give it up, give
it up, give it up, give it up!
Hey, what's man talking about?
Man's not up-and-coming, you know.
Established and that.
You get me?
Hey, big man Famzy in the building.
What you saying?
You lot cool, yeah?
I can't hear you, I can't hear you, man.
You lot alright, yeah?
You lot feeling alright?
Big man Famzy in the building.
You get me?
The Famzy Anthem, innit.
Ay, turn it down, turn it
down, what's wrong with you?
Man is moving like an intern and that.
Oh, you ain't got the experience or what?
Hey, turn it down, turn it down a bit.
Uh, dem man ya moving mad
Moving mad
Look, you lot are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Ya, is the man.
You lot are moving mad
Moving mad
Dem man are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Yeah, baby!
Always on the block
Posted up
Man dem try check me, but
No result
Kemi.
Your girlfriend try chirps me, but
I dodged
She's not Penelope
She makes me laugh
Like
Mess about and get slapped
Or get stabbed
And you better be
strapped, or get smacked
In the face
Like
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
Dem man are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
Look, dem man are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Alright.
Hold tight, my girl
Ekanem, in the building.
Got the shape and that.
Looking peng, you get me?
I like that.
Hold tight, all my fam-a-lam.
You done know.
Hey, big man Famzy.
You get me?
Ay, to the gal dem, if
you want my number, yeah,
just let me know, innit?
Hey, I like that outfit, you know.
Red is for danger.
Get me?
Who is looking dangerous and that?
Man's falling in love, you know?
Hey.
You alright?
I see your moves and that.
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
You lot are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Hey DJ, you gotta put a scratch in there,
what's wrong with you?
Hey, man.
Man's not done, you know.
Man's done.
Man's is hot, eh?
Round of applause for
the superstar, AK Famzy!
Then, we're going to take
it on to the Sugar Band
for some more harmonious music.
Let's go, dig it.
Wow.
I mean, we can as well do
the whole family dance.
As you can see, the first wife
has already opened the floor!
Alright, where's your swagger?
Where's your swagger?
Where's your swagger
Oh damn oh, let me see you hey oh
Oh damn oh, let me see that hey oh
Look at this!
This is indeed a veritable
battle of Aso ebi
from all of Chief Daddy's wives.
Ah ah!
One would think this was
a happy wedding reception.
Oh my gosh, this is super colorful.
MC, MC, you're gonna
need to call my mum.
My mum, my mum's not here,
you need to call her.
Is she not on the dance floor?
What's wrong with you, man?
I think
she's on the dance floor.
Are you gonna
tell me where my mom is?
Oh, exactly.
Trust me.
- Yeah, but you know...
- Where my money?
You will get money.
If I count to four, you
don't give me my money,
I will go there go disgrace!
- No, don't do that.
- One!
Two!
Looking down from Heaven,
Chief Daddy must be
proud of all of his wives
who are out here today,
from the first, to the last,
to the center, to the
front; everywhere you go...
Stop that music, please!
In dishonoring me, you have
also dishonored my husband
and this event.
Concubines have taken
over my husband's funeral!
They have tossed me aside
like a piece of used rag,
and I am supposed to take it!
It's not a celebration of life,
it's a celebration of concubines,
of my husband's mistakes!
That is enough!
That is enough!
Hey! Hey!
Everybody, listen!
Ladies and gentlemen...
How did I get to begin with
Laying down my heart, forlorn
Shadow of love
Oh, but you never said a word
It was hidden in your
hands, your eyes, and in
The tone of your voice
Only in my memories, you'll stay
Frozen on the brink of reality
Come what may, springtime or fall
Just to hear you answer my call
Will you love me, I cried, oh
My dear
I was the first child in his orphanage.
He adopted me.
I've always been ashamed, hiding,
because I thought I would never
be accepted by his family,
as his child.
So, when everyone thought we were...
I didn't fight it.
'Cause I got the respect I never had.
But now I know better.
I miss him.
The only father I know.
I miss him.
I have
never, ever, seen a bunch
of more selfish...
- Look.
They're clueless!
Listen!
They're your family.
None of them wanted any of this to happen.
Hello, Lawyer Castle.
Good afternoon, how are you today?
Oh.
Absolutely, no problem.
Yeah.
I'll call you?
Okay.
Hello, everyone.
Can we all go back in?
So, there is very important information
that I need to share with
every one of you here today.
Mister Castle,
if I may interrupt?
I'm very sorry.
Okay.
Guys, I think there's something
that we should have done
yesterday that we didn't,
and I think it's important
that we do it now.
Honestly, I was gonna wait
until tensions had died down,
but...
Lady Kay,
Mom,
Ireti and I have spoken to everyone here,
and we're all in agreement.
On behalf of the entire family,
I would like to apologize
for everything you've been
through since Dad died.
You didn't deserve it, and we're sorry.
Thank you.
Okay.
Last will and testament.
Dear family,
to err is human.
To forgive, as I believe
we have found out,
and are still finding
out, can be human too.
I will be in denial of reality
if I believed my funeral
would pass without incident;
not with the situation I created,
one I lacked the courage
to face while alive.
Whatever happened at my funeral,
I believe I sure deserved it.
That said, the codicil and
all the razzmatazz in there
was just to get you all
together for the first time,
and hopefully, start something new,
which I believe worked by the very fact
that you are all listening to this.
The administrator of the estates
is my first son, Damilare.
He takes over the running
of Croft Group of Companies.
All my children of age become directors,
as indicated in appendix five.
This mansion is willed
to my dear wife Kemi:
the properties in appendix one,
and a sum of 500 million Naira;
Nike and Ekanem: 200 million Naira each,
properties in appendix two;
my sister and daughters:
200 million Naira,
properties in appendix three;
chauffeur Donatus, Pat, and
Adoora: 50 million Naira,
properties in appendix four;
and all my dear children:
100 million Naira,
properties in appendix six.
Okay, alright.
I guess all the
drama was worth it in the end.
- Yes!
- Yeah!
Just one more thing, please.
Please!
Can we settle down, one more thing!
Welcome to the family.
One more thing, please.
Ah, ah.
Give us, you sit down.
Just stay settled down, one more thing.
Just one more little thing,
one more little detail.
Gentlemen, you can come in now.
Good morning, everyone.
Good morning.
Please accept our condolences
on your recent loss.
We are from Keystone Bank.
These are Chief Daddy's bankers.
I think they have some information for us.
Checks, please.
Settle down, please, settle down.
Welcome.
- Checks!
- Chi-ching!
I'm here, over here.
I didn't get mine, you know.
Well, like I said.
They are Chief Daddy's
bankers, they are here
in connection with Chief
Daddy's last desire for his IPO.
International Proposed Organization.
Okay, actually, what IPO
means in layman terms is
Initial Public Offering.
This means that the
Croft Group of Companies
wants to go public, and
will be inviting the public
to buy into the company
to own a part of it.
Okay, that's like the other meaning.
80 billion?
Are we gonna share that as well?
No.
But that's the amount we, the
underwriters, will be raising
on behalf of the Croft Group.
But why does he need to
make the company public?
He has money to do
anything he wants to do.
Okay, actually, the African expansion
the company intends to embark on
requires a huge financial outlay, ma'am.
So, what this means is
that because of the IPO,
the money and all the
terms detailed in the will
remains inaccessible, until
the process is concluded.
- Inaccessible wey?
- No, no.
No, you're going mad, you know.
Wait, no, in the case that it's not?
Well, the ramifications are spelled out
in the document we just passed around.
Ey!
Alright, now, how long will it take?
It's gonna take
between three to nine months.
Rah, rah, that's a joke.
That's a joke ting, man.
Okay, we understand
this is a private moment,
so if you have other questions for us,
we'll be in the other waiting room.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you, everyone.
There's gonna
be a lot of questions
that you need to...
- Thank you.
After all was said and done,
the big fights, the hot
tempers, we find out
that Chief Daddy has left
us without an inheritance.
Well, my brother, you are
welcome to the Beecroft family,
where anything can happen.
I don't even know
whether to laugh or cry.
I know exactly what you are saying.
Honestly.
My Lady Kay, Chief
Daddy did expect this.
Hey, let's not kill ourself.
And you two, the way I'm looking at you,
you're close nicely,
just like bride and the groom.
- Very suspicious!
- What is your problem, eh?
What is your problem?
You can just look at both of them.
Are they not suitable suitors?
Yes!
Got the money,
now you got the love.
I found
family, and gained a jewel
of inestimable value.
As for the bit about the IPO
and all that happened after,
well, that is a story for another day.
But now, if you'll excuse me.
Excuse me, who are you
and who are you looking for?
Sassy, problem
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
You lot are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Always on the block
Posted up
Man dem try check me, but
No result
Your girlfriend try chirps me, but
I dodged
Why
She's not Penelope, she's crude
She makes me laugh
Like, ha-ha-ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha
Go, mess about and get smacked
Or get slapped, or be strapped
Like brra brra brra brra brra
Brrah brrah, brrah brrah
Dem man a moving mad
Nah, you're moving mad
Dem man a moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
Oy, you lot are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
I see you, you've seen me
But you can't really see
me, you're like a pirate
There's not many man that I rate
Your promoter can't even pay my rate
So I wait, for my turn
'Cause I'm in the
future and you're past
Yeah, you're last
Last place, innit
You get me
It's a Beecroft ting
And man never talk
if man see something
But you're a snitch, and I'm rich
But you're not rich
And your mom is a witch
Dem man a moving mad
Nah, you're moving mad
Dem man a moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
Oy, you lot are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Yeah
I hear bare man out dey,
talking bare shit about
man's being disrespectful
to all the orphans out there.
But obviously, man's
well brought up and that,
so man's not talking about the orphans.
So, no disrespect, yeah,
man's not trying to be
offensive, you get me?
But who's your dad though?
It's a Beecroft ting.
Hold tight, all my man dem.
Hold tight, all my gal dem as well.
My name's Famzy, yeah.
You better remember the name,
'cause you're gonna need it.
Gonna be screaming it later, yeah?
It's Ebonylife
Family,
they say, is everything.
But sometimes discovering
true family starts
with a rude awakening.
I beg your pardon, Madam Pat.
I was not sleeping.
I was only in meditation of
counting plenty dollars, please.
You are a goat!
You should be having this kind
of meditation in your house!
I will not sleep again.
Don't downsize.
Madam Pat, Madam Pat!
- Stupid man.
If you come with me, I'm going to cut
your legs into pieces.
Madam Pat, please.
Please, Madam Pat.
Hello, Mum.
Pat.
Have you got the ingredients
for my raspberry ripple?
I'm not going to have dinner without it.
I have, ma'am.
Good.
And have you sorted out the, um,
itinerary for my Christmas
trip to Switzerland?
The request is on Chief Daddy's table.
I'll remind him when he comes back.
Has my son come back
from his studio session?
No, ma'am.
I'm back!
Man went on a little break and that,
but obviously, no days off and that.
Man's back in the booth, innit.
You get me?
Hold tight, wifey.
Hold tight, man dem.
Oy, oy, give me a little
bit of reverb on that.
You get me?
Man's going in, is a one-take ting.
Always on the block, posted up
Man dem try check me, but
Your girlfriend try chirps me, but
I dodged
She's not Penelope, she makes me laugh
Like ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha
Ha ha
Mess about, you get smacked
I be strapped, or get slapped
In the face, like brrap
brrap brrap brrap brrap brrap
Slap slap
Uh, and you better be strapped
- Whoa, man!
- So nice, baby!
Is that you, blood?
Mr. X, innit?
Bruv!
So excited to meet you, man!
- Yo, yo, yo.
Nah, you're the last person
I expect to see here, man.
Do you know what, yeah?
I know, obviously, man always
got ear on the road and that,
but how did you hear about me?
I didn't
hear about nobody, bro.
I came here to see my man,
we've done our business,
I'm out, man.
Nice to meet you, though.
Alright, bruv, bruv, sorry.
Can you turn that off?
Turn that off, man, what's wrong with you?
Sorry, boss.
What do you think about my tune?
Do you like it?
Guy.
That track is wack.
Listen, better take like three years,
17 months, go and think about music.
Alright, don't waste my time,
I'll see you later, yeah.
Alright, bless.
- Yeah, bro, nice one, yeah.
We'll finish up our business later.
Yeah, we'll talk about it.
Peace and blessings to everybody.
See you guys, man.
- Bye!
Baby! What did he say?
You done know, man love it, you know?
Alright, see you later, bruv, yeah?
Yeah.
He says he's really
interested in me, yeah,
and he thinks I'm sort of
mix of Biggie and Tupac,
but at the same time, still
like a Stormzy and a Skepta.
Wow!
Yeah, he even wants to do a remix.
Can you believe it?
Oh my goodness!
Mad, man, absolutely mad.
But baby, remember you promised me a car
when you get your first music deal.
Babe, you know I got
you, you know I love you.
Yeah.
Welcome, Chief Daddy.
I've prepared your favorite,
pounded yam and efo elegusi.
Chief Daddy sir, I fired the gate man
and employed a new one.
Lady Kay said I should...
But obviously
Man don't grow over there
Is this not my son?
Yes sir, that's Femi.
Why is he talking like that?
I don't know.
Hello?
How are you?
Good, good.
You want to come over?
Good.
It's time you met everyone anyway.
Good.
Bye bye.
Chief Daddy, remember
you said every member
of the family and staff should write down
whatever they want for Christmas.
Me, I just want...
- Pat.
Yes, Chief?
Write it down and put it on my desk.
I keep telling you everyday.
I'm sorry, sir.
Thank you, Chief Daddy.
Chief Beecroft.
My friend, he is a multi-billionaire,
and stop insulting him by
calling him ordinary billionaire.
Do you know this man said we
should write anything we want
for Christmas, and I wrote a duplex,
he did not even object.
Is that the person you are
calling just a billionaire?
I will talk to you later.
the dreamer.
What is your?
Come on, take me to the supermarket,
I want to go and buy some
things for my lady Kay.
Who, me?
Take you to supermarket?
Look, I am Chief Beecroft's chauffeur.
I am not your chauffeur, I am
not your Lady Kay chauffeur.
Do you understand?
No problem!
Yes, no problem.
- Chauffeur Donatus.
- Yes, that's me.
Okay.
Just wait and see.
Wait here.
Nonsense.
Nonsense...
Let's see who will cry.
Okay, so you can go and spoil my name?
No.
Chief Daddy, please
tell Donatus to drop me off
at the supermarket.
He has refused.
Chief Daddy, she's telling lies.
She couldn't allow me wipe
the jeep I was wiping.
Must you wipe the jeep
before you drop me off?
I'm not even going to drop you off.
Why won't you drop me off?
Because I'm not a common driver!
I'm Chief Daddy's chauffeur!
There's a difference!
Go and call Aloy, call Johnson.
They're the common drivers.
Chief Daddy, please
tell him to drop me off.
Chief Daddy, please,
I've come to remind you
of the meeting this
afternoon, between the Croft...
Chief Daddy!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Don't worry, don't worry.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!
I will carry, you
concentrate on the legs.
Easy, easy.
Easy.
No, you come, come, go first.
Come on, go this way, this way.
Hey!
Chief Daddy.
Daddy, no.
- Chief Daddy.
- Chief.
Go, go, go, go, bring water.
Water, let me give him respiration.
Eh?
One.
Two.
- Give him water.
Respiration.
Two.
Come on, open this, now!
I'm coming!
If you Chief Daddy.
Come now, open this, come on, open it.
One,
two,
three,
four,
five.
What?
Come, why did you have
to lock the first aid
in the first place?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Two.
Three; Chief Daddy, please.
- Take, take, take.
- Four.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme,
let's find something.
I want something that you can...
Okay, this.
What are you looking for now?
What thing they use to cover the nose
and then it pump oxygen.
- Oxygen mask?
- Eh.
In a first-aid box?
It's not possible, now.
It's not here!
Chief Daddy.
- So what do I do?
- Now you want.
One.
- Let me make a call.
Two.
Oh, Chief Daddy.
Oh, don't do this.
- Oh my goodness.
- Don't do this.
I don't have credit.
Give me your phone.
Eh? Phone?
I think I have credit...
- Give me your phone now!
You ever have credit.
No service.
- Ha!
- No service.
- Somebody give me phone!
- No service.
- Phone!
- Hey!
You can't die, Chief Daddy, you can't die.
One!
Two!
Three!
Four.
Five.
Six.
Chief Daddy.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine.
- Ring, now.
Ten.
Eleven.
Pick, now, pick!
Pick oh!
Good afternoon, Chief.
Dr. Bada, it's not
Chief, it's Madam Pat.
Something just happened now.
There's an emergency here.
Chief Daddy just collapsed.
He collapsed in the house!
Make sure he gets some air,
but please, don't move him
away from where he is.
I'm coming right over.
We should not move him?
He said we shouldn't move him.
Which can't move?
I don't know.
We didn't move him,
now, we carried him here.
Hey!
Chief Daddy.
- No, I think it is
because they want if police
come for investigation,
so that our fingers, they
will not see our fingerprints.
I don't think it means anything.
Why didn't you tell
me I was touching him?
Hassan, turn the car around.
Chief Daddy's place.
So?
Okay, sorry, sir.
One.
Oh!
Who art in Heaven...
- Where is he?
- Look at him there.
- Hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be...
Thank God, Lord almighty.
- Doctor.
- My God and my Father.
Please God, no.
Jesus!
Call him, call him.
Call him.
- Father, Lord.
Call Father.
Call Father.
Don't let him do this to us.
This good man.
This good man.
Thy kingdom come.
Daddy.
Daddy, wake up, Daddy.
It's okay, Chief Daddy.
Daddy.
Chief.
Chief oh.
- He's okay?
Chief Daddy has gone to rest.
Doctor, please tell me the truth.
What did you find out?
Madam, touch this material, now.
This is Swiss lace.
That price won't cut it.
The governor's wife, she just bought
this exact same material
from us a few hours ago.
Well, it's a bit on the high side.
- It's not high.
- Excuse me,
what you're holding is
actually the last piece,
and you can't get it anywhere else,
not in the whole of Lagos.
Run along, go to Mama Reese's shop
and ask her if she still wants
the red lace for her sister,
because this is the last piece.
- I think I'll take it.
- You'll take it?
- Yeah, sure.
- I like it, okay.
It's okay,
come, come, come, come.
Come on, pack it for her.
She will take it.
- Okay then.
Pack it well, eh?
Wrap it very nicely.
Madam, thank you so
much for your business.
If you need a tailor, I
have one who is fantastic.
You don't want any useless
tailor ruining that fabric.
Don't worry.
Okay, thank you, thank you.
Current or savings?
Current.
Okay.
Thank you very much, ma'am.
Have a nice day.
- Thank you!
- Bye!
- Alright, bye.
It works all the time.
She didn't want to pay.
So, how much?
Okay, this one is $3,000.
Madam, thank you.
Don't worry, maybe next time, eh?
Uh-uh, Sis, you can't
be the only one absent
out of all our friends.
- $3,000,?
- Yes!
Okay, what about this set?
It's way cheaper, $1,000, and
it's perfect for the occasion.
No way.
Mm-mm, mm-mm.
But Sis, this looks
nice, and it's cheaper.
Your father's wife, she has this set.
This one?
Ah, perfect.
We'll go with this $3,000 one.
Okay.
Sis, Chief Daddy will
give us the money, yes!
His money's not only meant for his son
and that's his wife.
It's our money, we have
to spend it.
Hello, what is it?
Look, I'm very busy.
Pass the list for Christmas.
Sis, what is it?
What is it?
Let me have the phone.
Hello?
Chauffeur Donatus, are you there?
Sis, let's go, let's go.
Hey, please, pack
pack pack, go go go go.
Hey!
- Here are the car keys.
Thank you.
Madame, madame, pack
your things, we are going.
Hey!
Hey!
My hero is gone.
Frank D.
My Dangote is gone!
Oh, death.
Death has eliminated my master.
I will talk to you later,
I will talk to you.
What happened?
Hey!
Chief Daddy.
Chief Daddy!
Hey!
Hey.
What happened?
Madam, this afternoon,
Chief Daddy just collapsed.
So, we rushed to him, and
then we called Dr. Bada
to come and examine.
Dr. Bada came here, examined him...
Why am I the last person to
hear about my husband's death?
Kemi, let's not start an
unnecessary argument here!
Ah, Chief Daddy.
Man's always on the block
Posted up, uh
Mess about and get slapped
Get banged, brrak, brrak, bang
Uh, done know
My skill done know
Bare gash on the ends, yeah
Done know
Get me
Hold tight, all my man dem
Yeah
Hold tight, fam-a-lam, yeah
It's a Beecroft ting
Hold tight, all my fam-a-lam
One shot for da man dem
Please tell me, yeah, you lot
have heard my dope new tune.
Ah!
Nah, man's about to be famous, you get me!
Do you know what, yeah?
I murked it, slapped it
up, and killed it again.
I love that, man, this one's hot.
You have killed him
with all your troubles!
- What's she talking about?
- Your father is dead!
Mom, is this some sort of joke?
Mom?
Goddamn!
Oh man, oh damn!
Chief Daddy's gone.
I suggest we go to Dr.
Bada's hospital first,
then meet tomorrow to decide what next.
Where is Kemi?
Who told you?
Lady Kay.
We need to call Castle and Castle
and get Tega here, to
make sure he executes
all matters pertaining to Chief's will.
Yes.
Excuse me.
My husband's body is barely cold,
and the first thing out
of your mouth is his will?
I can't believe it!
Eh eh eh?
Let me warn you, Kemi.
You better put your head in the clouds
where it has always been!
Everybody knows me, oh.
You all know Ajoke, I'm a realist.
Yes.
And as it is now, we
have to give my brother
a befitting burial, a one-in-town burial,
and you know it costs money, oh.
- Yes.
- Many.
Yes.
Wait, hold on a minute, yeah?
Let me get this straight.
You lot talking about my money
like man's not even here.
It's not rocket science, is it?
Obviously, heir to the throne
and that, only son, yeah?
Dad's money is my money, get me?
- Where are you running to?
- Karma, innit?
It's karma, innit?
When I heard everything...
Just keep your mouth shut!
And I've told you repeatedly,
when elders are talking, you shut up!
When I inherit everything, yeah,
I wanna watch you tell
my billions to shut up.
It's karma, innit?
Hey, you just shut up your mouth!
Kasali.
Kasali, this is what you call a jumpsuit?
Well, I thought they
said they wanted a kaftan.
Is that what I said to you?
Did I not tell you they needed a jumpsuit?
I remember my instructions specifically.
Hello? Tega?
Nike.
I'm so sorry, Tega.
I didn't know it was you.
No no no.
I'm at the shop, my assistant is here.
Well, Chief Daddy
passed away yesterday.
Where is this boy?
Sorry,...
Say you kept me waiting for over an hour
before you opened the bloody gate!
- I no hear the...
- Keep quiet!
Who is it now?
Eh?
Who is it that wants to kill my battery?
Hello, Lawyer Castle.
Ekanem?
Yeah, champagne popping!
Another one, another one.
Yeah, girl!
- Get this, get this.
- Okay.
Hold on.
Anyway, I need a drink.
Hello, Uncle Tega.
Ah, this one that you called me today,
I hope I'm safe, oh.
Chief Daddy has gone where?
Oh, now, I told him not
to go without me, now,
where has he gone to now?
Monaco?
Seychelles?
What?
I think you should start
making your way to the house.
Come to the house?
Uncle Tega, you know I can't now,
I don't want his wife's wahala.
At least not today.
Eh? You are already on the way?
I'm on my way oh.
Ay ay ay, close my door, close my door.
I say close my door!
So, who's gonna be making all
these types of calls for you
when you're gone, hm?
Boss, I've got money, you know?
Boss, I've got money.
Basically, yeah, my dad,
he's just passed away, innit.
He's dead.
Yeah, you know, I gotta be strong, I know,
I gotta be strong, but
man's always strong.
You know what I mean?
But, basically, he's
left me a lot of cash,
a shitload of money.
So what I'm gonna do, I'm
gonna slap up the track,
we're gonna reproduce it Grammy-style!
See what I mean?
Top-notch.
Yeah, basically, yeah, I'm
gonna be a flipping billionaire.
Yeah, definitely.
Do you know what, boss?
I'm gonna have to ring you up later, yeah?
Alright then, chat to you in a bit.
I really do not understand
why we have to wait three months
before we have the funeral?
It is our final decision.
That is it, final!
But how can you come to my house
and laud decisions over me?
Oh, really?
Your house?
- You lot cool, yeah?
Yeah.
I really don't think any
lawyer worth his salt will...
You alright?
So you can't greet?
"You mean, you alright"?
- What?
You gotta be so extra, man?
Aw, aw, Lady Kay.
I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
Everything is going to be fine.
Amen.
They're never worth the pain.
Hi, Lady Kay.
How are you?
I'm so sorry.
I have to take this.
Hello?
Oh, yes.
What, now?
Today?
Okay, I'll call you right back.
Ah, man.
What could possibly be more
important right now, Tega?
I don't know, this was unplanned for.
Oh, God.
I didn't want to have to
deal with this crazy family
all by myself.
I know, that's why we came; I'm sorry.
I really have to go.
Let me give you the codicil.
You owe me one.
I know, I know, I'm so sorry.
Here you go.
Lady Kay, I'm so sorry,
but I have to leave,
but she will take care of everything.
Alright?
Mrs. Castle, I love you.
Mwah.
I'm sorry.
Good afternoon, everyone.
Good afternoon.
And where is Tega?
Oh, he had an emergency.
Not to worry, your brother
is just as much my client
as Tega's at Castle and Castle.
I know.
So, my name is Remi Castle,
and I will be chairing this meeting.
We have already picked a funeral date.
In fact, we were just about to
discuss funeral-party matters
when you came in.
I see.
Well, once again, good
afternoon, ladies and gent.
I'm not going to go into
a condolence speech,
because we all know that Chief...
This one doesn't have a problem,
but about her, forget it.
Is that her?
No, codename.
- As I was saying...
- No.
- As I was saying...
- No, no, no, no, Remi.
What are you doing here?
You don't even have the
decency to keep away
after he's dead?
Get out of my house!
Eh eh, eh eh, eh eh.
She's his mistress!
Kemi, you've forgotten
that you came in the same way,
when their mother was on her sickbed,
so, please!
Look, Aunty Ajoke.
Obviously, I'm gonna have to disagree
with your logic on that.
Anyone that hasn't got a child for my dad
is illegitimate, in my opinion.
Obviously, I'm talking as the
one-and-only legitimate child
of the family...
- Excuse me,
who do you think she is?
Chopped liver?
Is she my father's...
Can't you see the resemblance?
Hm.
It is heartbreaking, and beyond reason,
that I have just lost my husband
and I am thrown into this circus!
I will not take it.
I will walk out of this meeting
if this woman and her daughter
do not leave this minute!
Peter?
Paul?
What is wrong with these two?
- Come, come!
- Wait, wait, wait for me.
Oh my gosh.
Peter! Paul! Come back here!
I'm going to smack you if you
do not stand in your place!
Who is this woman?
Now, go and sit down there.
What are you doing here?
Why don't you ask Lawyer Castle?
That woman is fire!
Hot!
Who are you?
Isn't that obvious?
Well, it is.
You can see, they look
very much like my brother.
Which brother?
Are you talking about my dad?
Ah, lawyer lady, are
these people part of us?
No, that is the wrong question.
Yes, they are family.
No, mm-mm, Remi.
No.
I am not going to have a meeting
in front of all these illegitimates!
Illegitimate?
You know what, Kemi?
I knew it would come to this.
This is the evidence
of my customary wedding certificate.
With Chief Daddy?
Eh-heh?
Aunt Ajoke.
Nah, this is crap.
It's not crap oh, this is original.
From my experience as a file-carrier
for the local government,
I think this is original.
Thank you.
This is an original.
Okay oh, in case anyone
here is about to ask me
of my own legitimacy evidence...
Oh my God!
Peter and Paul!
I told you boys to sit in a place!
I told you to sit still.
Sit still!
Let me hear one more word
from you and I'll beat you up!
Okay.
Hi, hi, hi, hi.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
Okay...
- Who is this?
- This is Cici Ice Cream.
Ice Cream?
Yeah, that's
Chief Daddy's Ice Cream.
Hi, sorry I'm late.
My name is Justina, but
you can call me
Cici Ice Cream, and I'm
Chief Daddy's favorite.
Nah, this is bollocks.
I thought this was supposed to be
a dignified family meeting!
Who called all these people?
Tega and I, well, we did.
Remi?
Based on Chief Daddy's
instructions, they are family.
Remi?
Look, I'm done.
Clearly, you lot are trying to violate me,
but I'm not gonna be
humiliated in my yard, alright?
Man's done with this.
Get me?
Oh.
So you don't want to listen
to your father's last instructions?
Oh well, then,
you are very free
to excuse yourself, Femi.
Period.
And we are all here for one person.
Even though we may not like
what the present situation is,
we need to remember that that one person
meant everything to us.
Now,
the codicil.
What's a codicil?
Aren't we here for the will?
Not yet.
We must read the codicil first
because it has Chief's instructions.
Then, we read the will.
Do you know what, yeah?
I feel like we're just going
'round and 'round in circles,
and we're not even making any progress.
Man's not built for this, you know.
Everyone is well aware that
I'm the only legitimate son
in this family.
Yes?
- Am I at the right place?
- Yes?
Come in.
- Hey, how's it going?
Hey.
What's wrong?
Are you not Dami
Baggio, of Old Trafford?
Yeah, that would be me.
Wonderful!
Come, come, come, come!
Dami Baggio!
This is wonderful.
This is Dami Baggio.
This boy handles football,
he types it like typewriter.
He plays for Real Manchester,
similar to Baggio,
the one that used to
score balls with impunity.
Thank you, thank you so much.
- Dami Baggio!
- It's nice to meet you.
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
I am really sorry to
interrupt your meeting.
I came to see my dad.
Who is your dad?
Chief Beecroft; he asked
me to come over today,
I just got into town.
Chief Daddy?
Chief Beecroft, yes.
He is the same person.
Chief Daddy Beecroft.
You are his son?
I thought I have seen it all.
He has gone to rest.
Chief Daddy has passed away.
That's why we're all here.
I'm so sorry to break it to you like this,
but Chief Daddy passed away yesterday.
You alright, bruv?
You cool, yeah?
Did you say your dad?
How old are you?
He's old enough,
because I know him before you.
In fact, you were still
in secondary school
when I started hearing about the boy.
27?
27 years old.
You know, I've read a lot about you.
He's 27 years; you are
25, so he's your senior.
- He's right.
- You understand?
That is not football age.
His actual age, I read about it.
Dami Baggio, you're welcome.
This is wonderful.
That can't be.
Obviously, you lot are
mucking about, you get me?
Man's the only legitimate
son in this family,
so I'm not gonna have this, alright?
I am not having this.
Well, there may be illegitimate parents,
but never illegitimate children.
Thank you.
That's your rightful position.
Remi, please,
read whatever it is you
have come here to read.
I need to get out of here.
I have here the last
wishes of Chief Beecroft.
Dearest family...
- Dearest family,
we all make mistakes,
and I've sure made a few.
To err is human; to forgive, divine.
I apologize for my missteps,
but one truth I know for sure
is everyone present in this
room at this moment is family.
None of you will I ever call a mistake.
None.
I want to be laid to rest
a week from the reading
of this instruction.
If there is any incidence
of rancor at my funeral,
my will will not be read.
If all goes well, no rancor,
no fight on that day,
the will will be unlocked;
else, it will be read
after 70 years.
70 what?
There will
be roles assigned to everyone
in this meeting.
If all do not start to act
out the roles in two days,
the organization of the
funeral will be passed on
to my church, and the
will will not be unlocked.
These are the assigned responsibilities:
the event planning,
catering, and all matters
pertaining to Aso ebi will be
handled by my Teni and Tinu;
they are like me:
My dearest wife, Kemi, Madam Perfect,
will handle all matters
pertaining to the church.
She spends most of her time there anyway.
My son, Femi, will handle
protocols for dignitaries.
He needs to be more organized.
Nike, my one-and-only tomato juice,
will make uniforms for
all the orphanage kids.
Ekanem, my energetic,
hot like pepper, will
channel her legendary energy
to organize all things music at the party.
That's her favorite pastime, anyway.
Justina, my ever-delectable
Cici Ice Cream,
will be in charge of publicity.
Those are the kinds of things she likes.
Ireti, my fickle daughter,
my dearest psychologist,
will offer her services
to any of the bereaved
who might need it.
Damilare, remember our last conversation
about a peaceful family.
Well, the time to put
actions to words is now.
Can you try and help keep the peace?
My loyal driver, Donatus, or
my loyal chauffeur, Donatus,
as he loves to be
called, will be in charge
of all things logistics.
Ah, this man, our guy,
he always making me laugh.
Making me laugh even in Heaven.
Madam Pat, the superwoman
who keeps the house
running, will take charge
of hearse and undertaker services.
I've always trusted you with
getting delicate things done,
and you've never failed me.
Come, come, come, come, wha, wha, wha.
What is happening here?
Why has my name not been mentioned?
Eh?
What's going on?
- Ajoke.
- Ajoke,
my ever-impatient sister.
We discussed last year about a
trust fund for the orphanage.
I want you to make that happen,
and also take charge for all
the activities to be undertaken
by the orphanage at my funeral.
Two other critical points
that you must all note.
I want every one of you here in this room
to stay together in my
house for the next few days
leading to the burial.
I know how much my family like to party,
but I only want family at my grave site,
and a small after-party.
If you can all unite, take
up your responsibilities,
and get this done for me without rancor.
Eyes have not seen, ears have not heard
the things I have for you all in my will.
I pray you all not to mourn,
just celebrate my life.
Protocol?
Psh.
What is protocol?
Look, I'm only gonna say this one, yeah,
and you lot better fucking listen.
Eh?
Yeah.
Man's gotta be in charge
of music that day.
If you don't let that happen, yeah,
I'm gonna get all my man
dem, we're gonna come there,
and wreck the party.
'Cause y'all getting me
vex right now, honestly.
Please, what color of Aso ebi are we wearing?
Blue of course, that is
Chief Daddy's favorite color.
Beni.
What?
My husband's favorite color is gold.
It's green.
No, Chief's favorite color was red.
Red?
Someone that is always
wearing white up and down?
It is white.
The Aso ebi is gold.
Please, that is my
husband's favorite color.
I mean, I should know my
husband better than anybody.
Obviously, you really do.
Get out of my house!
Remi, what on Earth did I do
that my husband would
humiliate me like this?
Don't take it that way, hm?
I may not know exactly
what his reasons are,
but I know 100%, he didn't
mean it in bad faith.
So, I will be here in
two days at 10:30 a.m.
To receive the budgets on behalf of those
whose responsibilities call for it.
Good luck.
Oy, Mrs. Castle.
Is she being serious?
Will or no will, I
will not be railroaded
into planning my husband's funeral
with a bunch of people who
almost destroyed my home.
don't start.
Don't you let me start reliving
how my mother developed
high blood pressure that
eventually killed her,
just because you became
my dad's girlfriend!
Listen, there are some things
you have no moral rights
to talk about!
Look, guys, guys, guys,
guys, come on, okay?
In this culture, when
elders are talking,
you do not speak unless you are spoken to,
or requested to speak.
What about your son?
I suppose you want to
say something as well?
Yes, I think he's right.
This is more about Dad than any of us.
Thank you.
Now, both of you, shut it.
Eh-eh, Kemi, it's enough.
Let me tell you, when
we elders are sleeping
and facing the wrong direction,
and we have these young ones like this,
telling us the truth, we
should accept our faults.
What these two are saying is right,
and let me tell everyone seated here,
we are talking about my brother here.
The way and manner in
which some people jumped
to their responsibilities, it
would seem like they need it
to survive.
Oh, heavenly Father,
please, save these paupers
from the spirit of hunger.
- Amen!
- What did you say?
- What did you just say?
What did you just hear?
Take a very good look at me, oh.
You have gone too far.
Too far!
Wait a minute.
Hey, it's alright, let her be.
We will see who the pauper is here.
Let me tell you, just count
me out of this funeral.
As if I care.
Mum, we're talking about billions here...
Hey!
We will see who the pauper is!
You plan the funeral yourself!
- With pleasure!
- Sis, calm down.
Please.
Please don't leave, please.
Madam Pat, where is the key to my room?
Um, peace of the Lord
be upon this house.
Salome, salome.
Oh, I can sense the peace
of the Lord in here.
Of course, anywhere our
dear sister Lady Kay is,
the peace of the Lord
is always in abundance.
Shall we pray?
Oh Lord our God, you are
our beginning and our end.
Hi, Mum?
No, I don't know, it's...
I don't know how to explain it, okay?
Everyone is crazy, Mum.
I know they're family, but...
Hello?
Mummy...
Don't mummy me.
Mom, listen, they're all crazy!
As in every single one of them.
I know they're family;
alright, I'll try, okay?
Let me call you back.
I'll call you back!
Alright, love you too.
Hi.
Hey.
So, question, is it just me
or is it a madhouse in here?
Expect everything.
We should
do it for Chief Daddy.
Let this be the first and last time
you discuss this with me!
Understood?
- Yes, I'm sorry, ma'am.
- Sorry, ma'am.
What are you looking at?
How in
the world am I supposed
to keep the peace in a circus like this?
Well, you certainly
can't do that from a distance.
Alright, I'm listening.
You do it by talking.
Right.
Seriously.
One person at a time.
Girl, I have a question
to ask you today
Will you marry me even
though I met you today
- Call my name.
- Famzy.
- Call me Big Money Famzy.
- Big Money Famzy.
Baby, call me Big Money Famzy!
Big Money Famzy!
Famzy.
Man's about to rip you up tonight.
I like it, Famzy.
Man's getting aroused, you know.
Famzy!
Alright, who's at my door, man?
How dare she even insinuate
that we are paupers?
It's because I'm not married.
If I were married, I
dare her to even try it!
That's where all the
disrespect is coming from!
It's because you are not married oh,
Kemi lacks home training!
Is it not that useless
woman my father picked
from the gutter and made the secretary?
And then she became his
wife through the back door!
Ole, ole!
Eh-heh?
Sorry to disturb you.
Femi, can I talk...
Give peace a chance.
Justina, can we just please...
- Yes?
- Hey, so I'm thinking
that we can just talk...
Don't even have one dollar
These angels, they
That was fun.
All the features and that,
what's protocol to a man like Famzy.
Yo, Mum...
Stop it.
Mum.
I mean, stop it!
Where did you get all this,
"Yo, yeah," and things from?
Why you gotta be so extra, Mum?
That's my brand, innit?
Street attitude.
If I'm gonna be a successful...
You are not a street brat.
You're a Beecroft.
Street attitude, Mum,
you need to allow it.
Alright, I'm sorry, Mum.
I'm sorry.
Thing is, yeah.
Dad's instructions, so I
started working on the budget.
I separated the one from the church, yeah.
I spoke to your friend...
Don't waste your time.
As the Lord lives,
I will not be treated
as a second-class citizen in my own home.
I don't care, let the heavens fall.
I'm not begging anybody oh.
Hey,,
it is best to stoop to conquer oh.
Going down to that
meeting is like begging her.
After she called us paupers?
Me, among the meal, I'm
thinking of adding a few millions
to the budget I'm going to present,
because there's no way this
funeral will be peaceful.
Not with all these extra
wives and children.
If the will is not read,
you better start thinking
of how you are going
to pad up your budget with some millions.
That is the Aso ebi.
For that to happen, we have
to get Kemi to the meeting.
We
are not begging anybody!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey.
I suggest we make good use of
these funeral responsibilities
we've been given.
You know, budget-padding things,
so we don't get to lose
out on everything oh.
Since we are all
in the same boat together...
Eh eh eh!
Wait.
You and who?
You seriously have no manners.
You know, I honestly
think you are in need
of some home training,
you little gold digger.
She really does.
Interesting,
coming from a five-k-a-day
red-carpet hostess
who stole her best friend's sugar daddy.
And you, an apprenticed fashion designer
who was asked to deliver a
dress to her August client oh
and end up sharing her husband with her.
At least me,
I work for Chief Daddy.
Designation, PE.
Is it who you are talking to?
Do you know who I am?
I will reverse your face for you!
Don't let me call Uncle Tega for you!
Uncle Tega!
Don't let me call Uncle Tega!
You leave this house!
No no no no no, leave her alone.
Don't let her call Tega.
Hey!
Eh-heh?
- It's okay.
- Eh?
- It's okay.
Okay.
If I call Uncle Tega for
you now, your money is gone.
Hey!
Call Uncle Tega!
You and your Tega!
- Go and call him!
You silly little girl!
How old are you?
I don't even blame you!
I don't blame her!
It's not your fault!
No, it's not!
I don't blame you.
- Damn.
But, about the budget.
Hm.
It's not such a bad idea.
Hmm.
Well, I've got two in one, yeah.
Mine and my mum's.
My one-and-only account officer.
How are you?
Girls, it is done.
You are talking to a steady millionaire.
I'm going to pay you your money cash.
Hey, Ireti.
You know, with all the numbers
that I've scrunched here,
do you realize how much we stand to make?
Ireti, seven million Naira.
Ah, Mummy.
Mummy!
With VVIP Events, we take
care of every single detail,
from the big ones to the tiny ones.
And trust me, with VVIP
Events, you are in good hands!
Good hands!
Now, with VVIP Events, all we need to do
is start with finalizing
the date and the time
of the funeral; it is
a funeral, I presume?
Yes, it is a funeral,
and we can pick a theme,
we could book a venue, and
we just get the ball rolling.
Now, you have to pay a deposit,
but who cares about that?
We can talk about that later.
That is how we work at VVIP Events!
What did you say, ma'am?
I can hear you, Doctor,
talk to me.
Yes.
It is not fair, it is not fair.
Last week you said there was
going to be an epidemic,
and that you were going to refer
some customers to us.
Whats going on?
Doc, what you are saying now
is very upsetting.
How can you say there have
been no deaths,
since the beginning
of this year?
Whats with all this
healthy living,
and spas that people
are all going to?
My business is dying.
Hello?
Doctor!
He hung up on me?
Hello, Madam Pat?
Good afternoon, ma'am.
Joro D, I have business
for you people.
Chief Daddy just passed
away, and I'm in charge
of services.
Chief Daddy's dead?
Eh?
Chief Daddy's dead?
Stop sleeping in the
damn coffin.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Chief Daddy died?
Hello, ma.
We have different burial
packages we can offer you.
We have Bronze, Silver, Gold
and even Olympic.
Our Olympic package is very
special,
for heavy hitters
like Chief Daddy.
So, we just use cow
and use the...
We even suggest we bring in
pallbearers from Madagascar.
You know Chief is a heavy
hitter in our society.
What do you mean heavy?
So, in the likely event of
an unforeseen circumstance,
your event is insured
to the highest...
How much are you charging us?
Seriously?
Madam.
It is high-end, quintessential
events planning.
Now, at VVIP Events...
How much does my father weigh?
We dont mean heavy like that,
but as in his status
in the society.
Chief Daddy was a man of
status in our society,
so we must make sure his spirit
is protected in heaven.
Oh, shut up!
Are you both done talking
absolute crap?
This is our budget.
For the undertakers and all
that goes with it.
No more, no less!
Its all about building
relationships,
because when all of you die,
you come to us.
You will die before me.
Are you accepting to be
paid this amount?
Sister, I think weve found
ourselves a better deal.
Just this relationship
be the, you know...
You have to do nothing.
Just attend the event and
we take care of everything.
Look at this, let me
show you how.
You see?
He is going to be in
that car and in that...
Madams?
Consequently, we can negotiate!
Do you have any capable
person who can handle
short-notice event
planning and catering
at a friendly price?
Mm-hmm, wait here.
See, the thing
is, we have somebody
that can give you
international crews, and...
Will he cruise in?
Hello?
Madam Tasty?
Hello?
Madam Tasty?
Ay?
What's the job?
Event
catering and everything.
Ah, deal, deal, deal.
Thank you.
Simbi!
Simbi!
Simbi!
Wait.
We are set, we are set oh.
- Everything with this budget?
- Everything inside it!
Everything is there.
Everything is there.
Madam.
I'm still awaiting your
favorable response?
Sorry, we
are no longer interested.
What?
Sorry, they are no longer interested.
This is preposterous!
This is preposterous!
Calculator is not working.
Let me do it, it's okay.
Leave it.
Mom, let me help you.
When did I see you last?
You always do this.
Okay, let's do it together.
I missed you.
I missed you too, my darling, welcome.
- Madam Pat, hi.
- Yes, my dear.
I'm gonna need your
help to speak with...
Meet my last daughter, Adoora.
She just came back from London a week ago.
She's a student of London
School of Economics.
Hi.
I'm Damilare; it's nice to meet you.
I know you.
Yes, yes.
I know you!
Yeah, he's a footballer with Manchester.
Oh, yes, exactly!
Oh my God.
What on Earth are you doing here?
So, it's a bit of a funny story,
but this is my father's house.
Oh.
Yeah, I
can barely believe it.
Wow, this is just...
This is so surreal.
I mean, how comes I've never
bumped into you here before?
I actually just got back into town.
First time, actually.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Wow.
Come on,
I'll take you inside.
The Damilare.
In Nigeria,
I'm just Dami, okay?
What?
Come on,
just Dami, seriously.
What's the excitement?
Why are you excited?
Something is, you look like...
- Nothing.
Nothing.
- Nothing?
I don't believe you.
I don't at all.
It looks like a penis.
I'm sorry, but
it's true, seriously.
Look at that.
- Ah yes.
- Ah!
We're not bastards.
What are they all doing here?
He has houses all over Lagos!
Are you stupid?
She's very rude.
She's extremely rude!
What level of madness has possessed you?
No, let them beat
themselves to a stupor.
Who fighting, no need.
One more day, Lady Kay.
One more day and it's all over.
All roads lead to Beecroft
Avenue, Victoria Island,
tomorrow, for the funeral party
of renowned industrialist,
Chief Akinwale Beecroft.
EO Now has just obtained some
exclusive insider information
from a former member of
staff of Castle and Castle,
identity withheld, with regards to
the late Chief Akinwale's will.
Is this true?
Well, the
domestic staff responsible
has been sacked.
The generous industrialist
willed to his wife,
children, relatives,
and all connected to him
hundreds of millions of Naira.
Even his housekeeper and
driver were not left out
of the sharing jamboree,
with 50 million Naira each.
You guys should come early oh, eh heh,
so we can all roll
together to the reception.
Babe, let me call you.
Dami!
Shit!
Shit! Shit!
Hey, sister.
Excuse me?
I am your father's wife.
Oh, hi, Stepmom.
Sorry, I wanted to ask for a favor,
I don't know if you
could help me with that...
What is it?
Sorry.
If you have something to
say, you better say it quick,
because I have to go pick up my kids
from my mom's place
for the church service.
So what is it?
I know I haven't really been
on my best behavior and that,
but I was thinking, yeah?
Dad's reception, I really
wanna perform my hit single,
the Famzy Anthem, and I was thinking,
I got two new tracks off
my new album as well,
all done and completed.
I feel like if I drop it,
everyone's gonna be jumping up
in the reception, so I feel
like if you let me do that,
I'd really appreciate it.
I dunno if you could help me with that.
Actually, I think you can.
Really?
Oh, thank you so much.
On one condition.
Clean that ya well, now.
Where are you?
I will slap you, now!
Hurry up!
My friend, sweep this one quick.
Hurry up, people are coming!
Have you arrived?
Roger, over!
Over and out, Roger.
414, 212.
Over, over.
Joro D.
I still haven't gotten an alert.
I have used my money for
the table and decorations.
You will get it.
I don't wanna go there!
You!
You, get down!
Get down! Come down!
Come down!
Listen, I don't know what you're doing!
I'm emotional!
- Don't be emotional.
Just pay me my money!
I have delivered!
Yes, thank you very much.
This is the celebration of life
of Chief Akinwale Beecroft.
You know what they say, it is
not how long you have lived,
or how well, but have
you learned how to dance
in Heaven below?
Er, in Heaven above?
Or below?
Where do you think that
Chief Akinwale has ended?
I leave you to figure that out.
Anyway, I am yours in celebration.
My name is Onyekachi Anyamu,
AKA Continental David,
as fondly called by my fans,
both home and the abroad.
I promise you that it shall...
Yes.
A rich display of culture.
We are all one.
Is that a part of the program?
How can all the food
be finished?
What do you mean?
Madam Tasty.
Calm down, calm down.
You want to see me?
Come and see me.
Madam Tasty, give us food now.
We are hungry and you're
refusing to give us food.
Shut up!
Both of you.
Can we have some
Spaghetti Bolognese?
Can we have some fish fingers?
You are sick, both of you.
You want to eat, so you can
open your mouth and eat.
Where is my balance, eh?
Where is my balance?
You are disgracing me in
front of my customers!
You promised me my
balance 2 days ago.
You haven't paid me and
you want to eat?
Where is my balance?
You
must be crazy
I haven't been paid and
you want feeding?
Joro, Joro, Joro!
Over there, she is at 8 o'clock.
She's at 8 o'clock, 8 o'clock.
8 o'clock, 8 o'clock.
It's okay, it's okay.
We thank you, we thank you.
We are not here for party,
we are here for funeral.
Thank you.
You are very well.
You have danced well.
Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, please,
let's give it up for the upcoming,
the over-talented, future
Grammy-award-winning
and Oscar-winning superstar, AK Famzy!
Give it up, give it up, give
it up, give it up, give it up!
Hey, what's man talking about?
Man's not up-and-coming, you know.
Established and that.
You get me?
Hey, big man Famzy in the building.
What you saying?
You lot cool, yeah?
I can't hear you, I can't hear you, man.
You lot alright, yeah?
You lot feeling alright?
Big man Famzy in the building.
You get me?
The Famzy Anthem, innit.
Ay, turn it down, turn it
down, what's wrong with you?
Man is moving like an intern and that.
Oh, you ain't got the experience or what?
Hey, turn it down, turn it down a bit.
Uh, dem man ya moving mad
Moving mad
Look, you lot are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Ya, is the man.
You lot are moving mad
Moving mad
Dem man are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Yeah, baby!
Always on the block
Posted up
Man dem try check me, but
No result
Kemi.
Your girlfriend try chirps me, but
I dodged
She's not Penelope
She makes me laugh
Like
Mess about and get slapped
Or get stabbed
And you better be
strapped, or get smacked
In the face
Like
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
Dem man are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
Look, dem man are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Alright.
Hold tight, my girl
Ekanem, in the building.
Got the shape and that.
Looking peng, you get me?
I like that.
Hold tight, all my fam-a-lam.
You done know.
Hey, big man Famzy.
You get me?
Ay, to the gal dem, if
you want my number, yeah,
just let me know, innit?
Hey, I like that outfit, you know.
Red is for danger.
Get me?
Who is looking dangerous and that?
Man's falling in love, you know?
Hey.
You alright?
I see your moves and that.
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
You lot are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Hey DJ, you gotta put a scratch in there,
what's wrong with you?
Hey, man.
Man's not done, you know.
Man's done.
Man's is hot, eh?
Round of applause for
the superstar, AK Famzy!
Then, we're going to take
it on to the Sugar Band
for some more harmonious music.
Let's go, dig it.
Wow.
I mean, we can as well do
the whole family dance.
As you can see, the first wife
has already opened the floor!
Alright, where's your swagger?
Where's your swagger?
Where's your swagger
Oh damn oh, let me see you hey oh
Oh damn oh, let me see that hey oh
Look at this!
This is indeed a veritable
battle of Aso ebi
from all of Chief Daddy's wives.
Ah ah!
One would think this was
a happy wedding reception.
Oh my gosh, this is super colorful.
MC, MC, you're gonna
need to call my mum.
My mum, my mum's not here,
you need to call her.
Is she not on the dance floor?
What's wrong with you, man?
I think
she's on the dance floor.
Are you gonna
tell me where my mom is?
Oh, exactly.
Trust me.
- Yeah, but you know...
- Where my money?
You will get money.
If I count to four, you
don't give me my money,
I will go there go disgrace!
- No, don't do that.
- One!
Two!
Looking down from Heaven,
Chief Daddy must be
proud of all of his wives
who are out here today,
from the first, to the last,
to the center, to the
front; everywhere you go...
Stop that music, please!
In dishonoring me, you have
also dishonored my husband
and this event.
Concubines have taken
over my husband's funeral!
They have tossed me aside
like a piece of used rag,
and I am supposed to take it!
It's not a celebration of life,
it's a celebration of concubines,
of my husband's mistakes!
That is enough!
That is enough!
Hey! Hey!
Everybody, listen!
Ladies and gentlemen...
How did I get to begin with
Laying down my heart, forlorn
Shadow of love
Oh, but you never said a word
It was hidden in your
hands, your eyes, and in
The tone of your voice
Only in my memories, you'll stay
Frozen on the brink of reality
Come what may, springtime or fall
Just to hear you answer my call
Will you love me, I cried, oh
My dear
I was the first child in his orphanage.
He adopted me.
I've always been ashamed, hiding,
because I thought I would never
be accepted by his family,
as his child.
So, when everyone thought we were...
I didn't fight it.
'Cause I got the respect I never had.
But now I know better.
I miss him.
The only father I know.
I miss him.
I have
never, ever, seen a bunch
of more selfish...
- Look.
They're clueless!
Listen!
They're your family.
None of them wanted any of this to happen.
Hello, Lawyer Castle.
Good afternoon, how are you today?
Oh.
Absolutely, no problem.
Yeah.
I'll call you?
Okay.
Hello, everyone.
Can we all go back in?
So, there is very important information
that I need to share with
every one of you here today.
Mister Castle,
if I may interrupt?
I'm very sorry.
Okay.
Guys, I think there's something
that we should have done
yesterday that we didn't,
and I think it's important
that we do it now.
Honestly, I was gonna wait
until tensions had died down,
but...
Lady Kay,
Mom,
Ireti and I have spoken to everyone here,
and we're all in agreement.
On behalf of the entire family,
I would like to apologize
for everything you've been
through since Dad died.
You didn't deserve it, and we're sorry.
Thank you.
Okay.
Last will and testament.
Dear family,
to err is human.
To forgive, as I believe
we have found out,
and are still finding
out, can be human too.
I will be in denial of reality
if I believed my funeral
would pass without incident;
not with the situation I created,
one I lacked the courage
to face while alive.
Whatever happened at my funeral,
I believe I sure deserved it.
That said, the codicil and
all the razzmatazz in there
was just to get you all
together for the first time,
and hopefully, start something new,
which I believe worked by the very fact
that you are all listening to this.
The administrator of the estates
is my first son, Damilare.
He takes over the running
of Croft Group of Companies.
All my children of age become directors,
as indicated in appendix five.
This mansion is willed
to my dear wife Kemi:
the properties in appendix one,
and a sum of 500 million Naira;
Nike and Ekanem: 200 million Naira each,
properties in appendix two;
my sister and daughters:
200 million Naira,
properties in appendix three;
chauffeur Donatus, Pat, and
Adoora: 50 million Naira,
properties in appendix four;
and all my dear children:
100 million Naira,
properties in appendix six.
Okay, alright.
I guess all the
drama was worth it in the end.
- Yes!
- Yeah!
Just one more thing, please.
Please!
Can we settle down, one more thing!
Welcome to the family.
One more thing, please.
Ah, ah.
Give us, you sit down.
Just stay settled down, one more thing.
Just one more little thing,
one more little detail.
Gentlemen, you can come in now.
Good morning, everyone.
Good morning.
Please accept our condolences
on your recent loss.
We are from Keystone Bank.
These are Chief Daddy's bankers.
I think they have some information for us.
Checks, please.
Settle down, please, settle down.
Welcome.
- Checks!
- Chi-ching!
I'm here, over here.
I didn't get mine, you know.
Well, like I said.
They are Chief Daddy's
bankers, they are here
in connection with Chief
Daddy's last desire for his IPO.
International Proposed Organization.
Okay, actually, what IPO
means in layman terms is
Initial Public Offering.
This means that the
Croft Group of Companies
wants to go public, and
will be inviting the public
to buy into the company
to own a part of it.
Okay, that's like the other meaning.
80 billion?
Are we gonna share that as well?
No.
But that's the amount we, the
underwriters, will be raising
on behalf of the Croft Group.
But why does he need to
make the company public?
He has money to do
anything he wants to do.
Okay, actually, the African expansion
the company intends to embark on
requires a huge financial outlay, ma'am.
So, what this means is
that because of the IPO,
the money and all the
terms detailed in the will
remains inaccessible, until
the process is concluded.
- Inaccessible wey?
- No, no.
No, you're going mad, you know.
Wait, no, in the case that it's not?
Well, the ramifications are spelled out
in the document we just passed around.
Ey!
Alright, now, how long will it take?
It's gonna take
between three to nine months.
Rah, rah, that's a joke.
That's a joke ting, man.
Okay, we understand
this is a private moment,
so if you have other questions for us,
we'll be in the other waiting room.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you, everyone.
There's gonna
be a lot of questions
that you need to...
- Thank you.
After all was said and done,
the big fights, the hot
tempers, we find out
that Chief Daddy has left
us without an inheritance.
Well, my brother, you are
welcome to the Beecroft family,
where anything can happen.
I don't even know
whether to laugh or cry.
I know exactly what you are saying.
Honestly.
My Lady Kay, Chief
Daddy did expect this.
Hey, let's not kill ourself.
And you two, the way I'm looking at you,
you're close nicely,
just like bride and the groom.
- Very suspicious!
- What is your problem, eh?
What is your problem?
You can just look at both of them.
Are they not suitable suitors?
Yes!
Got the money,
now you got the love.
I found
family, and gained a jewel
of inestimable value.
As for the bit about the IPO
and all that happened after,
well, that is a story for another day.
But now, if you'll excuse me.
Excuse me, who are you
and who are you looking for?
Sassy, problem
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
You lot are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Always on the block
Posted up
Man dem try check me, but
No result
Your girlfriend try chirps me, but
I dodged
Why
She's not Penelope, she's crude
She makes me laugh
Like, ha-ha-ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha
Go, mess about and get smacked
Or get slapped, or be strapped
Like brra brra brra brra brra
Brrah brrah, brrah brrah
Dem man a moving mad
Nah, you're moving mad
Dem man a moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
Oy, you lot are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
I see you, you've seen me
But you can't really see
me, you're like a pirate
There's not many man that I rate
Your promoter can't even pay my rate
So I wait, for my turn
'Cause I'm in the
future and you're past
Yeah, you're last
Last place, innit
You get me
It's a Beecroft ting
And man never talk
if man see something
But you're a snitch, and I'm rich
But you're not rich
And your mom is a witch
Dem man a moving mad
Nah, you're moving mad
Dem man a moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
You lot are moving mad
You're moving mad
Oy, you lot are moving mad
Before you chat to me, who's your dad
Yeah
I hear bare man out dey,
talking bare shit about
man's being disrespectful
to all the orphans out there.
But obviously, man's
well brought up and that,
so man's not talking about the orphans.
So, no disrespect, yeah,
man's not trying to be
offensive, you get me?
But who's your dad though?
It's a Beecroft ting.
Hold tight, all my man dem.
Hold tight, all my gal dem as well.
My name's Famzy, yeah.
You better remember the name,
'cause you're gonna need it.
Gonna be screaming it later, yeah?
It's Ebonylife