Chokeslam (2016) Movie Script

I just want to be clear
about something...
This is a deli, a delicatessen.
You know that right?
You're robbing a deli,
not like, a bank.
You know it's like meat,
cheeses, potato salad,
macaroni salad... okay.
Should I bag it?
Have a great day, rocket.
What did you call me?
Enjoy your money.
No, no, no.
What did you call me?
Class 2006, "let's
go lions, let's go!"
You're Luke cromwell.
The rocket.
First of all, it's
pronounced crom-well.
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
Second, I have no idea
who you're talking about.
You dated Alice Evans
through most of grade 12.
Hey. I'm warning you, man.
You also have the single season
football rushing record and you
stop it!
...have your nickname
tattooed on your knuckles.
Who the hell are you?
Oh. Yeah. I'm Corey.
Corey Swanson.
No. No?
No, no.
Dita wait. Wait, wait,
wait. Just wait.
Call the cops!
This guy-he ...? He chased
the robber out there
and he got the money back
for us, actually.
You're sitting on the wrong guy.
This guy is a hero.
He is. Yeah, he's a hero.
Oh. Yeah, when dita retires
she's going to sell to me.
There's an old hardware store
sitting empty next door, so...
Some big brain
buddies you got there.
You remembering all that
stuff you said about me.
You perform that
mental trick tonight,
you're going to be the
hit of the party.
I mean, you are
going tonight, right?
The reunion?
Oh, is that... that's tonight?
Yeah, man.
It's ten years.
Ten years, can you believe it?
I won't be going now, I guess.
How come?
I just needed some extra
cash to fix myself up a bit.
The rocket can't just
show up looking like
some kind of a homeless loser.
You were the most popular
guy in high school.
No, really. Look, when I
was in grade 10
you were in grade 12,
everybody looked up to you.
You were a god.
When I was a senior and
you were still there
you were.. Same deal.
You know what?
You and the rocket.
Walker heights reunion.
Oh, I...
Come on man, get excited
for once in your life, huh?
No. I can't.
There's too many bad memories.
You know I read that... you
know, what's her name
is going to be there.
Miss thing.
Sheena... what's it... you
know that wrestling girl?
Sheena dewilde?
Yeah, that's the one.
Yeah, I want to get
a good look at her.
See if she's as bangable
as she is on TV.
I'm just going to stop you right
there, because I wasn't dumped.
It was kind of a mutual decision
that I needed to take some time
off and that's why I've been
training and focusing on
becoming a better wrestler.
It wasn't like I was fired
or anything like that.
Everyone's careers go up
and down and I've...
Dude, seriously? Off.
Oh my god.
This is Zach.
Really, really cool guy.
Smile for the camera.
Stop doing that.
Dude, just...
I have universal
abundance within me.
I am one with the world.
You're not easy to
find Dr. Hayden.
- Corey.
- Corey!
- Yeah.
- Corey.
I was coming for some advice,
but I think I can figure
it out actually.
No. Follow me.
As you can see my therapy
career is temporarily on hold.
Economic downturn,
what have you.
Yeah, I know it's
rough out there.
An opportunity has sort of
presented itself suddenly and
it's... if this is a bad time
I can just take off ...?
No, no, no. No, no.
I've just got to
do something quick.
Bing bang.
Okay, yeah. So look, it's
sort of the big c-word.
I should have just said that.
Look, sheena is
...sheena's back.
She's back in town.
What does getting
closure mean to you now?
I don't know, I mean I
just figured...
Sorry, continue.
I don't know.
Really I got the chance
now to like, see her.
Look at her.
Not when she's on TV, in person.
I should go see her, right?
The last time you two saw
each other, as I recall,
things did not go very well.
Yes, yeah. No, I know. It
went really bad. Yeah.
It's been a long time, okay?
Ten years.
Then I would proceed,
with caution.
I will.
I'm going to go do it.
I'm going to go see her.
I'm going to go see her.
Thank you. Thank you.
Hey, mom?
Hey, I'm going to
the reunion tonight.
I'll probably be
home by like, 11.
Not that I have to tell
you any of that because
I'm a 28 year old
fully grown man
and I don't have to tell you
anything about my life.
Oh, you scared me.
I figured I'd take
you up on your offer.
Corey Swanson?
You tried to rob me earlier?
Oh. Yeah, you.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, Carey.
- So what do you want?
- To go to the reunion.
You said you didn't have
anything to wear...
So this is my dad's.
Hey, man.
All right.
Let's do this.
Oh, is that Alice Evans?
That's Alice Evans.
- Right there.
- Yeah it is.
How do I look?
Hey babe, the rockets landed.
Don't touch me.
- Why?
- Oh, Luke!
Yeah, what's new?
I'm born again.
You're... okay.
Fucking a.
She still wants me man.
Let's get a beer.
We're sticking around.
9 o'clock, check it out.
Yep, I'd still do that.
You know back in the day she
used to hit on me all the time.
Yo Carey, where you going?
Your plane is going to crash and
then you're going to have to eat
other passengers
so you can survive.
You're going to die a friendless
virgin who's had no
sexual interactions so
the blue balls kill you.
You wrestling contract is fake
and you actually signed up to be
a lifetime spokesman
for north Korea.
You're going to live with your
mom forever in her basement, and
sleep in the same bed for
the rest of your life.
Oh I hope not.
You still nervous?
What if this is a big mistake?
What if in 15 years I'm nothing?
- That's not possible.
- Why?
Because you're sheena, and
you're really talented
and super smart and awesome
and... come on.
You're awesome, you know?
You'll always have me.
I don't know what I'd
ever do without you.
Announcer: I've been
blabbering on for long enough.
What do you say we bring her
on out here and give her
a proper send off?
You look great and you look
like you're in super shape
I found this online!
Congratulations on that.
Thanks yeah I've
been training hard.
- No, stop screwing around!
- I hate your coffee!
Sounds like you're stalking me.
No. Dude, dude.
Where the is my money,
where the is it?
I don't have it!
Would have been nice if someone
told me this was happening.
I didn't do anything.
No I'm not a drug
addict, get out.
What do you have to say
for yourself sheena?
Get that out of my face.
Love you sheena!
Sheena: You.
Announcer: Walker heights'
biggest export, sheena dewilde.
Thank you, ten years.
Yeah, it's been a long time.
That sleazy reality show
that you were on,
you gonna do another season?
Yeah, good luck.
Broke her producer's windpipe.
Wait that's not at all what
happened, okay what happened-
announcer: Enough.
Why did you really quit the
bwl after the
rocky mountains smash thirteen.
Woman: She never quit,
she was fired for attacking
some guy in a golf cart.
Sheena; Okay, yeah
it's no secret,
I've made some mistakes, okay?
But the bwl, they banned
me for a year,
but that year is almost over.
Ask her a question.
See if she's a born again.
Let's put on the proper video.
Smasheena's new career,
robotic voice: "Do
you want fries with that?"
Get in there.
Cop a feel, grab her underwear.
Sheena, come on let's
get out of here.
Come on, sheena.
You don't want to
set him off again.
Hey isn't that that guy?
That's the guy that
jumped isn't it?
Alright he's very fragile,
let's give him some space.
Sheena: Thank you for
this really nice,
yet incredibly awkward send off.
To a special someone you
make every day worth it,
you know who you are.
What else?
Definitely not going to miss
physics, or home ec,
or the questionable beef
dip in the cafeteria
which I have no idea why it's...
Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry.
I don't want to interrupt but I
do, I just want to say something
really fast.
I'm sorry.
Okay, all right.
Sheena, you look beautiful.
I know everybody here is going
to miss you, obviously, but I
think I can say that I'm
going to miss you the most.
I was thinking, I
wouldn't miss you if...
Sheena dewilde,
will you marry me?
Crowd: Say yes!
Come on, say yes!
Do it!
Mom: I just don't know how
this could have happened.
Mom, shh.
He never gets hurt, he
never does anything.
Corey: I do stuff.
Doctor: Any medical problems
that you're aware of?
Of course not, he
never gets sick.
I give him vitamins
every morning.
He doesn't know.
I know.
What are you writing?
Write down that he
is perfectly normal.
We may need to run more tests.
Corey you stay there
and don't move.
- Hi.
- Hey.
So you're him? Huh?
I realised it when smasheena
was caving in your face
that you were... you.
Yep. Yeah, that's me.
Look man I get it if it's a
little weird to hangout
with me now. I understand.
No. No, no, no.
I just wanted to say to you that
...I just wanted to see,
I meant see if you were okay.
Actually sounds crazy, but
last night was awesome.
That's good, so... you
know, hang loose man.
Hang loose.
Flowers, those are for you.
There were chocolates
but I ate them.
Mom, what are you doing?
What, what-those
are my flowers, mom.
Not anymore.
You always thought that you
could hide things from me?
What? What things?
Bad report cards, broken
toys, lingerie catalogues.
I've explained this, like,
a million times, all right?
Those, they came
with the mattress.
They weren't mine.
Are you okay? Inside?
You remember what
Dr. Hayden told you?
Inside, I'm fine, okay?
Outside, you're hurting my neck.
I'm just so angry.
That angry libesian cow coming
back to hurt you again.
What? What are you
talking about?
What is a libesian?
If you don't know,
I'm not telling you.
Oh, mom.
This was an accident, okay?
And I put myself in the
middle of a big fight, so.
It's always an accident when
someone breaks your heart.
Oh my god.
Mom, we barely
even talked, okay?
There was no heartbreaking.
Well, you just make sure that
you don't give her
another chance.
Promise me?
Yeah, mom.
- Ow.
- I have to go now.
- Okay.
- I have chores to do.
See you later.
Good day, mom.
You too, honey.
Is this gonna be, like,
a tradition for you?
Every 10 years, you gotta
hurt the little perv?
What did he do, grab your ass?
No, and I didn't mean to...
And hey, no big deal, I just
planned this whole charity meet
and greet for my famous pro
wrestler sister.
The least you could do is,
I don't know, support me.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I forgive you.
Okay, follow me.
Do you see that man right there?
Okay. So that's the
president of my board.
He's basically my boss, and
he's a huge fan of yours.
So you want me to...
Go over there. Chat him up.
Casually bring up the need for
funding for this shit hole,
and you know, like,
show some cleave.
Like, stroke his...
Ego. His ego, his ego,
sheena. Just go over there
and be nice. Please?
Open your mind to
this kind of work.
Please, please, please?
- Fine.
- Thank you.
Thank you. Cheers.
Would you like
something to drink?
My grandfather would take
me to the legion hall
on Friday nights when the
legends would come
through the territory.
Course, then it was all
territories, not like now.
No, no, no.
So Evelyn, she's very...
Frank gotch.
- Frank, yeah.
- Lou tees.
And my all-time favourite,
killer Kowalski.
Yeah. He, he, he was,
he was good...
- For my money.
- Mm-hmm?
- And repeat this to no one.
- No, I, I won't tell anyone.
- Gorgeous George.
- Mm-hmm?
Was really quite stunning.
Miss dewilde?
There is an urgent
phone call for you.
Oh, I, I hope everything's okay.
Excuse me, Mr. cross.
Bruno summerkino.
He, he was, he was good.
Join me this way virgins.
You know, I'm not
actually a caterer.
You know, I mean, I do work with
food, oddly enough, but, see,
they wouldn't let... they
wouldn't let me in, and so I
sorta... and you looked really
uncomfortable back there,
so I hope you don't mind.
Yeah, I, I should actually
get back to my sister.
Woah, woah, woah.
I mean, we really didn't
get to talk yesterday, and...
Actually, can I
show you something?
It'll take, like, five
minutes. Is that cool?
Yeah. Yeah.
We'll be right back.
Five minutes, okay?
Sheena: Patrick's still
booking matches?
That's crazy.
He gave me my first break here.
Look, I'm, I'm sorry.
I embarrassed you, and
I embarrassed myself.
Yeah, I definitely could've
handled things better.
I really wish that I'd
stayed in touch with you.
I just miss this place.
This room, the
sounds, the smells.
I thought your dream
was being in the bwl.
Yeah, it was.
It was awesome for a while.
You know, I got to
travel around the world
and get a little famous.
Crowd: Oh! Horatio,
you smell terrible.
Just years of 300-plus days
on the road, no real friends,
working my tail off while I have
another hand in my pockets.
It just wasn't what I
thought it would be.
They're bringing me back,
bwl, after my suspension.
That's great. Isn't,
isn't that great?
Yeah, no.
My manager worked really
hard behind the scenes
to get me in their
good graces, so.
If you're not happy, you
know, you should quit.
Technically, yeah, I haven't
re-signed my contract, but I,
you know, I couldn't just...
It's your life, right?
You just...
Let's get out of here.
There she is.
Sheena: Yay, you found me.
Yeah, I texted your treasure.
Not working?
Missed you.
Oh, hey, brother.
- I'm tab.
- Oh, a tad what?
- No, tab, with a b.
- Oh, yeah, it's tab with a b.
- Yes. You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, totally.
Sheena: What took you so long?
I got held in Dallas.
It was this whole deal, and
now I need multiple cocktails.
Shall we?
Sheena; Yeah, sounds good.
Just give me a sec.
Oh, sure, yeah.
Hey. That's your boyfriend.
- Manager, but boyfriend, yeah.
- Okay.
Hey, maybe keep that under
your hat, what I said.
- Yeah, totally.
- Okay, cool.
I'm, I'm so glad
that we did this.
- Yeah, me too.
- All right, well, I'll see you.
Yeah. See you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You okay?
No, I... look, I, I just, I've
been thinking a lot lately, and.
I, I know this is gonna sound
like it's coming out of nowhere.
But what if, like, instead
of going back to the bwl,
slamtasia, the deal that you've
been working on nonstop for me
for 10 months, what if instead I
just kinda gave it up and sort
of retire from pro wrestling
as an alternate plan?
Look, it's, it's what I want.
I'm sorry.
You're not mad?
No, this is what you want.
I'll support you.
But we should just have a
big old retirement match.
I can call Mitch in
Fresno or bj in Jersey.
Corey: Or you could do it here.
All right, easy, guys, let's
just take it one step at a time.
Yeah, we've gotta get going.
It's really nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- I'll see you, Corey.
- Yep.
- Good night.
Take care, bud.
Hi, may I help you?
Let's go sit over here.
Yeah. Okay, so, you saw her?
- Closure?
- Yeah.
- Good, good.
- Did it real casual.
I was like, "hey, let's get out
of here" because she
was gonna fight again, and she
punched me in the face,
and it's totally fine.
It was by mistake.
We talked later, cleared the
air, and we really
connected you know?
She's got this boyfriend, you
know, that's a real jerk,
but she is awesome. She looks
awesome. She sounds awesome.
She smells awesome.
You're still in love
with her, aren't you?
- Oh, Corey!
- Mmm okay.
I know, yeah, I.
Look, you saw her.
- Yeah.
- You survived.
- Yeah.
- Turn the page.
The last thing you need is to
damage all the positive strides
that you've made.
Hey, Julius, call
for you on line 2.
Do you hear me?
Loud and clear, Dr. Hayden.
Loud and clear.
I get that I'm getting a
little ahead of myself
with the mock ups.
I do, you know.
But I got two days,
really, you know.
Because after this machina day
ceremony, she's gone, you know,
and I-so I gotta get it
together quick,
and it's gotta be big.
And I can't do that alone.
You know, and I figured you know
wrestling, right, and everybody
knows you and so
could, could you help?
She could have her
retirement match
anywhere in the world, right?
Why the hell would
she wanna do it here?
Well, I... look, I get it, but
it... we talked last night, and,
you know, she got, like, really
sentimental about her career,
and she got, like...
Wait a minute.
Sad, actually.
You were actually
talking to her?
Actually, we hung
out at the pavilion.
It was cool.
Smooth, buds.
You're smooth.
So did you climb her beanstalk?
Climb the old-oh, no, whoa.
No, no, no.
No, nothing like that, no.
We just, we just talked.
Look, I, I just know that
she really needs this,
you know, in my gut.
Sounds like what she really
needs is a good old foggy slam,
if you know what I mean.
Yeah, know what you
mean. I get it.
Go for a figure-four leg lock.
Make her tap out.
Make her show you
her Boston crab.
Okay, that's really funny.
Deliver her a
vietnamese Jewel press.
You wanna stop now?
Wait. Pile drive her.
Okay, all right, okay.
I'm just, I'm trying to
reconnect with her man,
you know?
And I don't know where this
opportunity's gonna go exactly.
I just, I don't want
it to blow by me.
That's all.
And the longer you
keep her in town,
the more we get to hang out.
And then her love for the
downward tingles touches your
penis, and she stays forever.
Something like that.
Never gonna work.
I mean, we're talking
about sheena de wilde.
You are, like, you know, buds.
The odds are...
I am aware of the odds, yeah.
Hold up.
I didn't say I wouldn't do it.
I'll get to work on
some ideas right now.
Yeah, for 165 bucks.
165 bucks?
That's right.
Rent's a little steep, you
know, and you're the one
who came to me.
Well, yeah, I know I came to
you, but I work in a deli.
Yeah, I want it in cash.
Oh, hey, angel.
I was just wondering if
oh, my. What are you.. Ow.
What-okay, ow, wait, okay.
I just have a quick question.
Sorry. Thought you were
going for my tips.
I'm sorry to interrupt...
Excuse me miss, I-I, I'm sorry
boy: Hey, no cutting!
Corey: Yeah, I won't.
I'll go to the back.
Reverse it like...
Like that kind of thing.
Anything you can think of,
throw it all in one pile.
I like where you're
goin' with that.
You like these posters?
They're the only
things I have planned.
Wa, whoa-what are you doing?
You scared the crap outta me!
I've been hearing things.
What... what, what things?
Like you. Renting out
the pavilion.
What's next? Ask
her out?
Date her? Marry
her forever?
How do you know everything?
Male voice: Ah shit!
Mom: It's just
Malcolm, all right?
He's helping me with hedges.
Just uh, helping
with the hedges.
That's cool, Malcolm.
Mom; We are not going
through this again.
Yeah, I know.
Goodnight, Malcolm.
Night, Corey.
Partners in business, life true.
When I saw her perform, well
...she just takes your breath
away, doesn't she?
These hundreds of fans who
came out here today,
they feel the same
way that I do.
Her story's yet to be told.
- Hey.
- You made it.
Yeah, I did, yeah. Uh, thank
you for the invite.
The whole town was
invited... but you too.
I'm sure you're busy...
Hey, uh, actually I was
wondering have you put more
thought into doing the
retirement match here?
Cuz', if you did, I'm sure we
can get the pavilion...
Which would be... we'd
redo the whole thing.
We're actually looking into
some bigger opportunities
down south, Corey.
Maybe even Florida.
Yeah, but it'd be
great, you know,
I mean this whole
town would come.
Guarantee it, like
everybody you've ever met
would pack that house.
Oh, that's our cue.
Oh, okay, um, talk after?
- Yeah yeah.
- Okay. Cool.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's
have a big hometown welcome
sheena de wilde!
Thank you.
Fraudulent robot.
Reality check!
Who here thinks that living
the Los Angeles dream
has made her soft?
Crowd: Ohhh!
Is this part of the deal?
You don't see me flying
around the world...
Getting my feet massaged...
Drinking cucumber smoothies.
You sure as hell don't see
me getting my opponents
Just... just roll with it,
there might be a good spin.
Calling me out?
Easy payday.
Oh yeah? Easier than
your webcam gig?
Crowd: Ohhh!
I saw that.
It's really nice stuff.
Let's dance bean pole..
Luke, I don't know what the hell
happened, man, big problem.
Big problem!
Luke, I called you
like three hours ago man.
Easy, broseph, all right?
It's all done.
What do you mean, what's done?
The posters, duh.
You put up the posters?
That is what you
do with posters.
The posters I gave you were,
were... were a mock up.
A mock up.
I just wanted your help
to design it...
It wasn't finished, I didn't
want you to put them up yet.
I was gonna tell sheena about my
idea after this ceremony, okay?
Do you know... she hasn't
agreed to do a retirement match
here, sh-she hasn't given us
permission to put her face u, u-
u, up... literally everywhere!
So I messed up.
Yes, you messed up.
Yes, you royally frickin'
screwed me, is what you did.
She likes to do things her way.
You know that.
She likes to do things on her
terms, and and, and this is
not, uh... this is
not... on her terms.
This is not good.
The posters are already up,
so stop being so scared of her.
I'm not scared of her.
I would say you're acting
like you're scared of her.
No, no, okay.
You know what?
Oh yeah, I'm only going to
say this once and that's it.
I am not scared of
sheena de wilde
- oh, shit.
- Oh, shit.
Sheena: You trying to wreck
my life, asshole?
No, no. I can
explain this.
The whole bloody town is
expecting me to wrestle Friday
for my retirement match.
What's wrong with that?
I haven't announced
my retirement yet.
Besides that, though.
Oh, a retirement match
doesn't make sense here.
It should be in a bigger market.
Okay, hold on.
I'm going to stop you
right there, okay?
Is that you or is
that tab talking?
Oh, back off!
You back off.
Did I just hurt you?
I'm sorry.
What I said to you was in
confidence and then you went a
broke my trust just like every
shady wrestling promoter I've
worked with for the past decade.
Sheena, this is
your thing, okay?
You get to decide whatever.
You can give the
proceeds to charity.
I don't care.
Sheena, this should be your
thing and you should go out on
your terms, right?
Wouldn't that be cool?
- No.
- Okay.
You leave me with no choice!
Backyard, now.
Okay, all right.
It goes a little
something like this.
Smasheena, I pin you, okay?
Then you do the match.
Yeah? Oh, I see.
You're afraid the match
isn't choreographed?
Yeah, I get it.
You ready?
Okay, hold on.
Wow, that was intense.
That was awesome, yeah.
For real.
Ah! Aagh! Ooh!
Aaagh, oh.
Shit, was that too far?
I got you, one, two.
I'm pinning you.
I'm pinning you.
Okay, okay.
I'll do it, okay.
Why is having my
retirement match here
so goddamned important to you?
Because it's important to you.
Oh bullshit. You
want something.
You're just like everyone else.
- Me?
- Yeah.
I'm sorry, when have
you ever known me
to try to take advantage of you?
Yeah, even St. Corey Swanson
is capable of hurting someone.
Between the two of us, the only
one I ever see getting hurt
is me.
Oh, oh. Low blow
and not true.
- Oh, so true.
- Holy shit!
- What?
- Oh my god.
There's wood in your ass!
What? Did you-aaaagh!
I'll pull it out.
Don't touch it, don't
touch it, don't touch it!
You take it out and then there's
an artery and the blood will go
everywhere and I'll die!
Really? An ass artery?
Yes, there's an
ass artery, okay?
There's such a thing
as an ass artery.
There's no such thing
as an ass artery.
Yes, and it's in the
left butt cheek, okay?
I could die.
Oh, I can feel it now, now
that I know it's there!
What do I do? What do I
do? What do I do?
Call the doctor!
Did you even look
at the picture?
My first costume.
Grade 11?
God, I look like such a dork.
So dorky.
You helped design it.
I helped with it.
A scar.
Be nice to hear what
happened from you.
There's a lot of stuff flying
around over the years.
Only if you're
comfortable with it.
I'm sort of the farthest thing
from comfortable at the moment,
but yeah, okay.
I was walking home.
That was a few days
after you left.
I found myself in our old spot.
There were these guys.
I think they were just having
fun, but one of the guys
must have spotted me.
Man, he started
shouting like a maniac.
What'd he say?
Nothing. He didn't
say anything.
Cory, come on.
What did he say?
It wasn't crazy.
Just this little voice he was
doing was like...
Hey, sheena dewilde,
will you marry me?
Marry me, marry me, marry me.
I slipped and fell.
This nice family found me.
I guess the word spread
that I had jumped.
Anyway, after that,
I became that guy.
The guy that got so
depressed that he
botched a marriage proposal and
then he decided to kill himself.
So, I hurt you again
without even being here.
What? No, what are
you talking?
That's ridiculous.
It's not on you.
Okay, look, I know nobody in
this entire frigging town
believes me, not even my
own mother believes,
but I need you to just-oh, wow.
I need you to listen to
me for two seconds, okay?
I'm dead serious when I say I
did not try to kill myself,
Right, I've seen a lot of this.
Sex toy mislaunched?
You kids are sick.
Okay, so all proceeds can go to
my sister's art therapy charity.
Let's do it.
Come on, no.
If you're going to do this whole
thing out of pity then you
shouldn't do it.
I'm not doing it out of pity.
I'm doing it because I want to.
All right? Let's put
on a good show.
Yeah, deal.
Good night.
What does your sister pull in?
Sixty? Seventy a year?
She could do better.
So we're doing the retirement
match here after all.
I'm only going to say this once.
We haven't even spoken to
anybody about my mail-outs yet
are you high again, Carl?
It's Luke and yeah,
I'm a little buzzed.
Can always spot a weed man.
I'm late, what's up?
I don't know.
Yeah, did we want to
discuss any business stuff.
I could just jump into...
We don't have to be
formal or anything.
If your wrestling people,
puke or shit or urine anywhere
that's not in toilet, you
will pay to clean it up.
No ifs or buts, none.
Bruno raises a valid point.
He's had a few tough nights
janitorially speaking.
So much urine.
Maybe talk to the boys
about their accuracy.
Yeah, that's pretty disgusting.
Cool, we can like monitor
the bowel movements somehow.
The audience is best we can.
What now?
I'm not working with
Horatio anymore.
Yes, you are.
Can I be serious for a minute?
He's dead weight.
Hey, I am not dead weight.
Get the hell out of here.
I'm tired of carrying you.
You don't need to carry me.
Get out of here. Get
out of my way.
Make me, huh?
Boom. Gone.
This bickering.
You know what it reminds me of?
'85, I'm in Mexico City, working
with El chupacabra, place is
sold out, 60,000 fans, I'm on
top, working for the strap,
puma comes out of the jungle,
bites off a piece of my ear -
there's that bad boy, I not
only finish the match, I win it,
keep the strap, and I
get free Margarita mix
for the rest of the night.
Morning everyone.
Corey, what's up?
Great day, huh?
Tab hennessy, pleasure.
Tab hennessy
Wow. Wow. Boom.
If it isn't baron Von
brashton himself.
Big fan, sir.
Thank you.
That cage match in
Pittsburgh in '95?
Sold out.
Sold out? That was a
Guess who was working
on top that night?
- This guy.
- This guy. Boom.
That guy.
Well hello, there, young lady.
I'm tab.
Tab hennessy, and I
love your sweater.
Those are mittens, tab.
Sorry, I interrupted?
Yes. We were just... I was
just about to launch
into a few things.
So, I... my favourite
seats, they're in row 6.
But 6a through 6g, the
whole row is a little wonky.
Seats are fine the way they are.
Seats are totally fine.
Yes, no, I love those seats,
they're my favourite seats.
And what about pyrotechnics?
Is there any way-funny story.
We had a fuel spill here, back
in 2000, you put pyro,
this whole place goes up.
Boom like a box of kindling.
Don't want to blow everybody up.
Can I have a look?
Hm. Wow. You put a lot of
thought into this,
but here's the problem, Corey.
Can I call you Corey?
I don't fault your
passion, at all.
But I did a quick tour here,
earlier, and this pavilion is
kind of, no offence intended
it's a shit-hole.
Hey, no shit.
I don't want to step on
anyone's toes, but I have a few
alternative ideas, if
anyone cares to hear them.
Finally, and I promise we can
move on after this last point,
I check the breaker board,
the light show Corey here's
proposing, it'll
blow the circuit.
May even cause a fire.
Could've killed us all.
We'll need two 6,500-watt
gas generators.
One out front, and one out back.
Tab should be in charge.
Oh, guys, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I can't organise.
I can barely find my
pants in the morning.
You're in a really
nice suit right now.
Quiet, quiet.
The tab is talking.
Okay, where is your vip area?
We don't have a vip area.
This is athletic
dancing at its finest.
We need a vip area.
Okay. Done.
That whole front row there,
section that off,
that's our vip area.
Bruno, vip area.
Very good. Vip.
These electronics on this
table, are these
plugged into the intercom?
I don't have a clue.
I'll make sure that they are.
Okay, please do that.
Now, where do your athletes
enter around here?
- The athletes, yes.
- Down there.
Down here? Okay. We
need a red carpet.
Sheena enters with a red carpet.
Why the hell is there no
red carpet down there?
- What?
- Okay. Okay.
Who's the beast?
- Oh, hey, that's...
- Don't touch me.
Okay. That's Renee partridge.
Please don't touch me.
Sure. He drives the giant hot
dog truck down the street
yeah. His handle is
merciless mordecai.
Hey, hey, that doesn't go there.
Put it up higher.
Really going to let that
pretty boy get in your way?
That pretty boy just took
over the entire thing.
Back, there perfect.
I mean, I had a
solid plan. You know?
Everybody's looking at me like
I'm a mass murderer, it's crazy.
Look at him, he's
so manipulative.
What is he doing right now?
Tabloom hennessy the third.
Man with amazing cheekbones and
the most chiseled earlobes
I've ever seen.
You know, I had to fight the
urge to kiss him on the mouth
when he was talking earlier.
You're cute too.
I get it, I do. Okay?
Figure something out.
Nah, forget it.
I'll make sure he's
out of the picture.
God, look at these girls.
They need my help.
What do you mean,
out of the picture?
I'm on it.
That sounded weirdly
Yo, Andrea.
Luke, Luke, I can handle him.
We need to talk.
Luke, I can handle him, Luke.
Like this.
Oh. See that?
I love this town.
So pumped about the
timing of this, Corey.
Me being here for this, I can
really put my thumbprint on it.
Make it a night people
remember for years.
I'm going to
transform this place.
That's cool.
That's sort of sheena's
thing, though, right?
Who else should it be for?
I don't know.
Just sort of used the word
"I" a lot just then.
We're going to be
like that, are we?
Voices from ring:
Good, Thursday.
All right.
Okay? Like this.
Like this, right?
You've got to get some speed.
Yes, no, no, that's good.
That's good.
Thank you.
Yes, that was a very
informative tutorial.
Yes, I thought so.
Hey, why are you doing this?
I want to make your
performance more believable.
Now, headlock...
No, I mean,
what's in it for you?
What do you mean?
You and Corey barely knew
each other in high school.
I just want you to know that if
you put one toe out of line,
I will break your limbs.
And then bury you alive.
You read me?
Why don't you take a shot at me?
Yes, yes. Get him
the chair angel
just help me warm up.
You want me to hit you?
Yes. It would
really help me out.
Oh, I don't know.
With a chair?
You know, I don't feel
comfortable with that,
you being a woman and
me being a man.
I'm fine with it.
I think I should... chair shot.
Check that out.
That's good.
That's good.
Where were you, bud?
I had to run an errand.
You okay?
I got blasted in the
face with a chair.
I'm freaking awesome.
Where are you going
with those chairs.
- Put them here.
- No. Put them back here.
Hold up, where are
you going with her?
Over there.
- Is that where she goes?
- Yes.
Okay. Then get her over there.
Hey, you all right, tab?
Yes, I'm fine. Fine.
Luke, hey.
Hey, did you do
something to tab?
What did you... I told
you I could handle him.
What did you do?
Oh, is he in the hospital?
What? No. No, he's just...
Has digestive issues,
it looks like.
- Nice.
- What did you do?
- Cut the brakes to his car.
- What?
Yes. He's sick too? Bonus.
Announcer: Beginning of
the end for Horatio.
That should do it.
Ring the bell.
The winner.
That is a scary
individual, right there.
Crowd: You suck. You suck. You
suck. You suck. You suck.
Mordecai, you cannot
work that stiff
with an old man like Horatio.
Hey, I hear your point and
I don't disagree with you,
but there's a time and a place.
We have guys who
can work that stiff.
In my day, I liked
it snug like that.
Can you imagine me and you in my
prime, would have taken every
puma in Mexico City to town.
I need you to do me a favour.
What? Oh, yeah, anything.
Come here.
What's up?
I need you to slap
me in the face.
I just, I need some adrenaline.
What are you talk-no.
What? No.
Look, Corey, come on. I do
it on the road all the time.
Just hit me as hard as you can.
Corey, I'm asking you to hit me.
- What-
- so hit me.
I can't hit you.
Are you kidding?
Slap me.
I'm not gonna slap you.
I can't hit you.
You're a girl.
I'm not gonna hit you.
Grow a pair and hit me.
All right.
I'm gonna hit you.
I can't do this!
- Corey!
- I can't-
slap me! Just do it!
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Okay, just do it.
Shit, sorry.
It's reflex.
It was reflex.
Are you okay?
You okay?
Yeah. No, no.
Is that what you said?
I'm good. I'm good.
I'm totally good.
Totally good.
Was that good enough for you?
Yeah, actually.
Best I ever had.
Ladies and
gentleman, allow me to introduce
the three-time winner of
the gold medal,
the overseer of all
that's good and true,
get ready to witness
your Saint, angel!
destruction mode activate.
Come on.
The sold out
pavilion crowd on it's feet,
smasheena can still whip up
a crowd like nobody else.
Angel's not wasting any time.
She wants smasheena bad.
Off those ropes,
smasheena ducks under.
Malfunction at the junction.
Smasheena, smasheena, smasheena.
One, two...
Whoa. What an
upset this would be folks.
Lots of fond
farewells to a legend.
Smasheena, smasheena!
These two warriors
are leaving it all out there.
Something's got to give.
Come on!
Angel going
for her patent finish.
Wait, quick reversal.
Look out, Nelly!
Smasheena, smasheena!
Chokeslam, chokeslam.
One, two, three!
That's it.
That is all.
You could count to 50.
Smasheena, smasheena!
The winner of
this match, smasheena!
Smasheena! Smasheena! Smasheena!
You folks want some more?
I said, you folks
want some more?
Tomorrow night bring your
ticket stubs back for 25% off.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
One more match, one more
match, one more match.
One more match!
One more match! One more match!
Sheena dewilde, allow
me to introduce...
This is Mr. suzuki.
He represents-
extreme Japan wrestling. Oh.
You're welcome, babe.
Hey, it's business pal.
You understand.
Read the important stuff!
All right.
It was a big success.
The community raised
almost $9,000.
All right.
A top scout from extreme Japan
wrestling is interested in
signing dewilde
to a pro contract.
Another impromptu event is to
be held tomorrow night so the.
President of the company
can see her in action.
I thought you were
going to relax?
Mothers don't have that luxury.
Oh, easy there, jumpy friend.
You okay?
Yeah, totally fine.
You just scared me. Hey.
Why you guys cabbing it?
Somebody lock their
keys in the car, or ...?
It was the weirdest thing.
Mechanic told me that
someone cut my coolant line.
It happens though, right.
What are you doing out here?
Oh, I don't know.
Actually I was just riding
and I guess I lost
track of where I am.
Tab's going to Cleveland today.
- No way!
- Mm-hmm.
Going to Cleveland,
that's awesome.
I've never been to Cleveland.
That's cool. Why is he going?
Some hot shot kid is
killing out there so he wants
to book him for
my farewell match.
- That'd be awesome.
- Yeah.
Oh, we should grab a drink then.
Yeah, yeah. My sister's
place actually is just-
sheena. Got to go.
Next flight out.
Oh, okay, well actually you can
take the cab because Corey's
going to walk me home.
A little celebratory drink.
For Japan.
Yeah, so I'll see you tomorrow.
Travel safe.
- Yeah.
- Cool.
Cleveland, that's awesome man.
Here you go.
Wow, this is fancy.
Yeah. Cheers.
That's bourbon,
so you're supposed to sip it.
Oh. Yes.
That makes sense because
that's really... intense.
It's on fire right now.
Oh, yeah.
So if all goes well with the
match tomorrow then you leave
forever when, exactly?
I have... I don't even know.
I'm not there yet.
God, Japan. It's weirdly
perfect though, don't you-
I mean, can't you see me there?
Yeah, totally.
It'd be weirdly perfect for you.
See, you get me.
This place is really ni...
Oh, woah,
ow! I did...
I just stood up to fast.
You're not
riding your bike home.
You can stay here.
Well, laying down.
You look really gross
in this dim lighting.
I hate being here with you,
now, in this very moment.
It's really awful.
Right this second.
It's terrible.
- Oh!
- Jesus!
Evelyn, oh.
Okay, yep.
So I bumped into tab.
I am so excited for you.
You bumped into him where?
Now I have a place
to stay in Japan.
Can you imagine?
Yeah, I guess we'll see
how it goes tomorrow.
Sweet. Good talk.
Okay. Bedtime.
Okay, yep.
Good night.
Yeah, good night.
It was fun.
I had a good time.
I'm sorry.
Did I scare you?
What? No.
Yes, a little bit,
actually, but it's okay.
I was just making a sandwich,
and I remembered how big
of a loser you are.
I even though about pouring
burning hot bacon fat all
over you while
you were sleeping,
how deformed your
little face would be.
I'm gonna go.
So help me, if you even
think about putting the moves
on my sister again or
proposing marriage or
whatever you're gonna do.
Do you have any idea how
embarrassing that was for me?
For you?
That was embarrassing for you?
Oh, wow, that's crazy,
because, see, for me it wa-
I am not interested.
Got it, okay.
Tell your sister
I'll see her later.
Sure a lot of anger
in this house.
Hey, I'm looking for
the Russian bison.
Are you from the beauty salon?
My apologies, just...
no, you don't.
I've got a groupon.
You have a-oh, okay. Okay.
Come on.
Oh, yeah, thanks.
Congratulations on Japan.
Yeah, yeah.
Must be hard going through life
wrecking everything you touch.
Mrs. Swanson.
We're not going
through this again.
I don't know what you're...
No, no.
Okay, this is weird,
so I'm gonna go.
Do you know what his
life has been like since
you've been gone?
Yeah, people have moved on.
Did he tell you
about the billboard?
Some jackoff yelled at him.
He was startled,
and then he fell.
What about the
mental institution?
Oh, wait.
Excuse me.
Look at this.
Obviously you're getting pretty
slack there in the
kitchen there, Dennis.
I mean, I'll still eat this,
but I think you should
give me a discount.
I'm not gonna pay for this.
Oh, hey.
Andrea, I mean,
sheen, sheen, sheena.
You Luke?
Oh, what can I do for you?
You're a really good friend to
Corey, and I pegged you wrong.
It's actually really comforting
to know that he's got this
support system here,
especially if I go to Japan.
Well, yeah, totally.
I mean, we're buds, right?
Me and Corey are buds.
We're buds.
I gotta ask you something.
I'm just super confused because
everyone is saying that he
jumped off the billboard, but
then Corey's telling me that
there was these guys yelling
stuff from their motorbikes.
And, like, what, what happened?
Do you know?
It was a long time ago,
you know, so, you know,
I don't-I don't remember.
Hey, can you pass the salt?
You okay?
Yeah, I'm frickin awesome.
I gotta take a piss.
Don't suppose you could put me
into a figure-four leg lock.
Not today.
Oh, okay.
Aaaahh! Ah!
It was you that day, wasn't it?
Tell me the truth!
- Gah!
- Tell me!
What happened to you last night?
Yeah, sorry.
Yeah, I should've said goodbye.
I actually had this really
weird nightmare, burning hot
bacon fat all over my face.
- What?
- Got all deformed. Stupid.
I had a good time last night.
Have you seen Luke?
I've been calling him,
and we have stuff to do,
and he's nowhere to be seen.
Have you seen him?
Did you get that from wrestling?
No, I didn't.
Why are you being weird?
Then what is it from?
He confessed, Corey.
He's the one that shouted
at you from the bikes.
I'm sorry, did you...
Did you beat it out
of him or something?
He's not your real
friend, Corey.
He's only helping you
because he feels guilty.
That sounds familiar.
What-okay, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
Why are you mad at me? He's-
who do you think are
you are, coming back here and
meddling in my life?
He's my friend, okay?
I know about the
psychiatric hospital, okay?
What, did Evelyn tell you that?
No, your mom.
You went to my mother?
She came to me, okay?
She was worried about you.
Oh, you're unbeliev-
you're unreal!
I didn't know, Corey.
If I knew, I would've come back.
I didn't need you
to come back, okay?
I don't need you to
come save me, all right?
It was a stress clinic, okay?
And my mom checked me in there,
and I stayed to appease her
because she's crazy, and you
know that, and I was there for a
total of 48 friggin hours.
Well, your 'friend' is
the reason you fell.
Why do you think I was up
there to begin with, hm?
You said in the hospital
that it wasn't because of me.
Yeah, look, I know what I said.
I don't know if I was up there
and I was going to jump.
I don't even know.
I don't know what
I was thinking. All right?
Except for some really dark
shit because I was 18 years old
and you broke my heart.
Cool. Yeah, okay.
Well, I have the
biggest match of my life,
so I don't know how I'm
supposed to do that if-
get over yourself. Just get over
yourself, all right?
You were never worth killing
myself over and you definitely
weren't worth all of this.
I'm done. I'm not
thinking about her anymore.
I'm not thinking or talking
about her every again.
Not one more moment after this
moment right now where I'm
talking and thinking about her.
That's it.
That's the last one.
You've still got me
and if you want to
start seeing me
regularly, again,
we can arrange that.
Okay, so, I explained
Are you sure you're okay here?
Absolutely, yeah.
All right.
Yeah, so, you know, just don't
unplug this cooler at all.
Ever. Day and night
leave it running and
don't eat the jelly salt,
that stuff is disgusting.
If I put my hand right here.
No! No! No!
Don't! Don't! Don't!
I'm just kidding. I'm kidding,
Corey. Kidding. Kidding.
Ha-ha-ha. That's the no-hands
zone. Okay. All right.
You be careful. She's a tricky
devil, don't lose a limb.
Good luck.
Plan b, you're fighting Horatio.
Okay, what about the
guy in Cleveland.
He made me shave his back.
Never mind.
Why are you so tense?
Just, it looks like a sellout.
Yeah, well, I had to show
watanabee you're a global draw.
Just do what you do best
and we're set for life.
Look, I know that Japan
is important to you...
This is everything
you've ever wanted.
I went out and I got it for you.
Is this because of him?
Because if it is,
I don't know whether I
should be angry or laugh.
Yeah, wait, uh, yeah.
Hey, jan?
Is this the right baguette?
Malcolm, now you know you can't
come barging in here like this.
I'm sorry.
Thank you for bringing the
groceries, like I asked,
very nice of you.
On your way now.
Ah, well, you're
welcome, Ms. Swanson.
See you, Corey.
See you.
Bye-bye now.
How about that? Just
negotiated you a signing bonus.
Right there. Two minutes.
What do you think Swanson
was up to in that time?
Look, I appreciate
all your help.
I do, and I want this Japan deal
also, but could you just like
give me some space?
Just have a lot on my mind.
Well, excuse me for trying
to better our lives.
Let's just talk after
the match, okay?
Let's be clear,
I got you this opportunity
and I can take it away.
Oh, really?
What? You think I
don't deserve my due,
after all the shit
I put up with handling you?
Holding your hand in rehab.
Getting you on a reality show.
Building up your wrestling
credentials only to have you
start having feelings
again for some pathetic little
waste of skin.
I appreciate all that
you've done for my career.
Thank you.
Your career?
What about us?
It's like that is it?
You know how I've
been trying to...
I feel like shit, man,
and I just wanted you to
win one. You know? Just once.
You know, get the girl.
I should've apologised
for the billboard.
I'm sorry, bud.
So you're not going
to the big match?
I saw through the
window you were eating.
You know?
What are you eating?
Hot chocolate for my boys.
All right.
This is ridiculous, Janet.
We can't do this anymore.
- Mr. Kirby, really, you can't-
- no, no, Janet. Please. Enough.
Why the hell aren't
you at that match?
- Malcolm, this isn't-
- now I know this isn't my place.
I know you're not my wife.
He's not my son.
I'm just the friendly
neighbour, right?
Yeah, well, I'm the friendly
neighbour who has been nailing
your mother for
the last 11 years.
Hey, Malcolm.
I knew that.
You did?
Why do you think I keep asking
for earplugs for Christmas?
Oh, my word.
Okay, good.
And her opponent
from the netherworld,
weighing 300 pounds, 'merciless'
You can't sit here eating cereal
and expect to be with that girl.
I don't expect to
be with the girl.
The girl is never
going to be with me.
Okay? I tried,
so why bother anymore?
Okay, let me get this straight,
she's gone, forever,
and you're back
working at the deli-
Are you good with that?
He's right.
That creepy old man, who's
nailing your mom, he's right.
You're wrong.
Yeah! Woo!
Now's the time!
Things going
bad to worse for smasheena.
Come on, guys.
She's getting her ass kicked.
Corey, you've got
to do something.
Mordecai living up to his name,
showing smasheena no mercy.
Locks in the "crab,"
this could be it.
Oh, this smells like ass.
Oh, this is disgusting.
Hey, buddy. Playing a
little bit of dress up?
Oh, god.
Oh, you're a bastard.
You put mordecai in
the ring with her, man.
Don't think I don't know you're
trying to screw sheena over.
What is wrong with you?
Someone's got to feed the
beast and she's made a poor,
poor career decision.
Yeah. No, totally. You know,
but she's sheena, right,
and she's like really hard
to deal with sometimes.
I was really hoping
things would get physical.
Look like a fracas has
broken out in the crowd.
Smasheena has shown
no offence tonight.
Hey, that's the douchie
guy from last night.
What's he got against Horatio?
I had to shave that
guy's back, Corey.
I shaved his back!
Horatio! Horatio!
Here come the Horatio chants.
Horatio! Horatio! Horatio!
He's looking trim, by the way.
Lost maybe 90 pounds
since last night.
Is that even possible?
He's in the ring.
Mordecai's looking to finish
smasheena off once and for all.
Kick that guy's ass, Horatio!
Douche drops an elbow.
He's saying something to
mordecai, I can't make it out.
Rake of the eyes!
Smasheena has the chair,
cracks mordecai with it.
Finally, smasheena
showing some life.
Woo! Yes!
And so is skinny Horatio.
Douche into the turnbuckle.
It's chaos in there.
The ref doesn't know what to do.
Mordecai down, so is the douche.
Skinny guy of his own count.
Have you ever seen
anything like this, folks?
Who even won the match?
Who cares at this point?
Oh, shit.
Sheena, I...
Ever since you got back
into town I've been trying to...
Muster the courage
to tell you that...
That I love you.
Do what you got to do, boy.
If you leave, I want you
to know that I'll be fine.
You know? I will...
I will pick myself
up and I'll be okay.
Oh, wow.
Smasheena! Smasheena! Smasheena!
I think I have a concussion.
Eh, you get used to it.
Good height on that
chokeslam though.
See the leg-whip kick and you
look like a champion out there.
Come on. Yeah.
Smasheena! Smasheena! Smasheena!
I sometimes get mixed up in the
ring with my clients. It's this
whole heel/manager character
that I've been working on.
Can I still come
to Japan? Please?
Okay, fine.
That was fairly romantic.
I guess you're not
a humongous loser.
oh, yeah.
Piledriver. Yeah.
High-five. Yeah.
Corey, there may have
been a small fire at the
deli last night.
I'm not sure. I ran out.
Dr. Hayden, thank you for
your help. I appreciate it.
Great job out there, Corey.
Hey, why don't we all go and
share a nice banana split?
How about you guys do that and
then I'll hangout another time?
Cool? Mom, I'm okay. All right?
I kicked that dude's ass
and it was really awesome.
Yes, it was.
Yes, it was.
It very much was.
Oh, hey.
Yeah, sure.
You get the girl
and I get a hotdog,
even though it's a
pretty boss hotdog.
What happens to me now, huh?
Where will my life lead?
You want a job?
You mean like one of
those working jobs?
Like for money?
Yeah? Sure, boom.
Yo, buds, where
do you work again?
Where'd you get that hotdog?
You want my hotdog?
So, well...
I just...
Wait. Stop, wait. Woah.
Okay, hold on.
Wow, that's...
No, okay, look,
I think you just like-
no, no. Hold on, this is going
to make things a lot harder.
You understand? Because you
go and now I have this moment
to think about for
god knows how long.
I go? But you're coming
with me, you idiot.
What are you talking about?
They said that they talked to
you about your crazy character
and that you're super
excited to come with me.
Wait, what?
What are you do-... what?
Talked to who?
Talked to where? Go where?
To Japan with me.
Don't worry, you're not going to
be like my sidekick or anything.
Oh, wait the people... I do.
The people I just met.
We like high-fived.
Oh, no way!
They want...
Are you kidding they want...
I will totally be your sidekick.
- Great.
- 100%, I will.
- Absolutely.
- Okay, awesome.