Chopping Mall (1986) Movie Script
Stop right there!
Stop right there
and surrender your weapon.
Now you'll see...
Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes
the film portion of our presentation.
I'm sure you all
have questions.
So let me introduce you
to the head of development
For Secure-Tronics
unlimited...
Dr. Stan Simon.
Thank you very much.
Before I open the floor, I'd like you all
to meet your brand-New security team...
the protector 101
series robots.
One week from tonight
at closing,
The protectors will begin
their patrol of the mall.
Paul, they look like
the three stooges.
Each assigned to one of
the three upper shopping levels.
I don't know, Mary, the one in the
middle has an unpleasantly ethnic quality.
Now, are there
any questions?
Yes, dr. Carrington.
So what do your machines there
do besides kill criminals?
First of all,
the protectors do not kill.
I wonder if they
kill cockroaches.
They could probably
be programmed to.
And merely detain intruders
until the computer,
Located on the roof, can patch
into the mall phone system
And send the alarm
to the police.
I don't know. That guy
looked awfully dead to me.
Just neutralized. Protectors
can achieve this function
In a number of ways.
At close range, sleep darts
fired from here and here
Can knock a man out
in less than 30 seconds.
However, the likelihood
of an intruder gaining entry
Is greatly minimized
by the steel security doors
Which are time-Locked
from midnight 'til dawn.
Um, they seem so violent.
If they're called protectors,
what do they protect?
Plenty. For starters,
as seen in the film,
The protectors do their work in the mall
proper, not in the stores themselves.
Maybe we could use one
at the restaurant...
get rid of people
we don't like.
For instance, lasers
positioned here
Can cut through
any sort of debris.
Well, that's all very well and good,
but what about those who work late?
How can your... things there distinguish
between the good guys and the bad guys?
That's very simple.
Watch.
This is Simon.
Bring number one on-Line.
Whoa!
Wow!
May I see your
identification badge, please?
It's scanning.
They remind me of your mother.
It's the laser eyes.
thank you. Have a nice day.
Same to you.
There. You see?
The system is
absolutely foolproof.
Now, everyone connected with the
mall has been issued an I.D. Badge
So that when the mechanism
goes on-Line,
The protectors will make park
plaza the safest mall in the state.
Trust me.
Absolutely nothing
can go wrong.
Ow!
Are you all right?
Coffee?
Come on, sweetheart!
Give it to me! What do you got? Andiamo!
Can I get two uncle Luigi
belly busters, a double anchovy pizza
And an order
of garlic logs?
Gross. What Mojave brain
ordered that? Guy over there.
Oh, god. I should've known.
That orca beaches here every night.
Always trying to snag some skin.
Play it safe, Alison. Serve at
arm's length, if you get my drift.
Thanks for the advice.
Yeah.
Shit!
Oh, honey, you
breakin' my heart.
Look, Alison, in about
an hour and a half...
we bail this barbecue and
it's good times to the max.
You've got to show. Suzie,
you've got a one-Track mind.
I already told you,
I don't know anybody.
Yeah, but you will after tonight.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Would I set you up with
a slime dog or something?
No way, "babe. "
it is babe, isn't it?
Come on, come on!
Take it while it's hot.
Girls, come on! Yeah,
all right, all right.
Waitress, more butter.
Attention, shoppers.
In the next half hour, everything
in our drapery department
Will be marked down
30 percent.
Your attention, please.
Your attention, please.
We have a lost child in lingerie
answering to the name of Steve.
If my uncle finds out
I let you do this, I'm dead.
Don't tell me, Freddie. Are you
going chicken-Shit on us again?
We already agreed.
He trusts me to take care
of the store while he's gone.
He ain't gonna know diddly
unless you tell him.
You ain't gonna
tell him, are ya?
Don't force me
to pull rank.
Oh, I'm shaking.
You know, Brennan, you're becoming
a real candidate for prick hood.
What?
Look, guys,
This party is gonna happen,
but we need a little teamwork.
Besides, if the place looks like
shit on Monday, it's all our asses.
You got the beer?
Correct.
Come on. Dude!
The fridge is packed. Good. Rick
and Linda are bringing the food.
Clean sheets are
definitely waiting.
And, uh, Suzie...
Suzie has
a surprise for you.
I don't know, guys.
Come on, Ferdy.
Forget about your uncle awhile.
This is gonna work, okay?
Ferdy, you can't
back out on us now.
Okay, okay, let's party.
All right.
First I gotta find
Mrs. Flanagan's fuchsia
You find
Mrs. Flanagan's fuchsia.
You, you hold down the fort. I will.
I'm gonna go find Leslie.
I'm sure you will.
Quack, quack.
Greg, I...
Ferdy,
Don't worry.
I can't find the fuchsia.
Ah, fuck the fuchsia.
It's Friday.
Tell the old bag to wait.
Okay. Give it a try.
Strike three, Walden.
You're out.
My turn.
It's okay.
I got it, I got it.
You know the rules, buster.
Into the cab.
Okay, butch. You know I can't
resist it when you get tough.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just crank it when I tell ya.
Well? We're waiting.
Just a sec, huh?
All right. Hit it.
Always the first time.
I don't want to hear it,
not another word.
Me? No way.
I covered this whole deal when I
said, "for better or worse," remember?
Of course I remember.
Who could forget that 40-Weight
stain right there on your chest?
Should've been
"for better or weird. "
And speaking about weird, what
about this furniture store...
come on, Walden.
Indulge me.
We haven't had any fun since we sunk
all our wedding money into the business.
Besides, Suzie's
counting on us.
Honey, I don't care about...
okay. Okay, okay.
I guess I won't
be needing this.
Or, um,
Will I?
Attention,
shoppers. Attention, shoppers.
Park plaza will be closed
in 20 minutes.
The mall will be closing
in 20 minutes.
The lower parking levels
will be closed at 10:00.
Attention, please. Mr. Brad
Trevoy to the information kiosk.
you horny bastard.
can't you wait?
No. No, I can't.
What can't you
wait for, Michael?
Mr. Todd.
Uh, well, I...
uh, I was just telling
Leslie here that, uh,
Uh,
Well, that, uh...
daddy.
He was just telling me how he couldn't
wait to take me to Suzie's house tonight
For her, um,
birthday party.
I see.
Well, I'm running late.
You lock up?
Sure, I'll take care
of everything.
Yes.
I'm sure you will.
Okay, daddy.
I love you too. Bye.
So, what he say? He said,
"go out and have a good time.
All right!
That is bitchin'.
I wish I had it that easy. My
parents still think I'm a kid.
Why do I have the feeling I'm
gonna regret this in the morning?
Look, Alison, you've had
yourself a very rough first week.
You owe yourself
a little blowout.
Come on.
It'll be fun.
Okay, just so long as I don't
have to look at any more pizza.
You won't. I promise. Oh, great!
This is gonna be wonderful.
You won't regret this.
I bet.
Attention, shoppers.
Park plaza will be closing
in 10 minutes.
I am so nervous.
Hairspray, my lovely.
I really hate blind dates.
Oh, yeah! Audacious! Lipstick. Suzie...
Oh, no. This is a terrible
color. Give me another color.
What if he's not my type? Oh,
yeah, that's it... luscious lust.
Are you listening? What
are we gonna do all night?
Will you stop worrying?
Like I said, he's got...
a great
personality! That's right!
He does. You're going to
love him. Trust me on this.
Hey, babe.
It is "babe," isn't it?
Let me see. Okay.
What? What, what?
You look good. Yeah.
Are you sure?
Really?
Yeah!
Marty, I'm sorry I'm late, but it was
all-You-Can-Eat night down at the pit,
And I couldn't resist
the opportunity to pig out.
Marty?
Yo, Marty!
Hi, you guys.
The least he could do
was clean up.
Waste not, want not.
You know what I mean?
No, I, uh...
I guess you wouldn't.
Hello.
What do you mean, "who
is this"? You called me.
No, Marty's not here right...
jerk.
d street walkin'd
D it's a crazy world
street walkin'd
Happy motoring.
You're so sentimental.
D street walkin'd
D
shoot.
D I'm standing on the corner d
D night after night
D waiting for a lonely man
D
D he's just another customer d
D lookin' for a thrill
street walkin'd
D it's a crazy world d
D street walkin'd
D you get it
through the night d
D street walkin'd
D there's nothing
that I can't do d
D street walkin'd
D I'm lonely without you d
Come on, you guys. I got a lot
of bookkeeping to catch up on.
Tonight you are going to shake that
ultra-Wally image of yours once and for all.
But I like my image. I don't
wanna shake it. You guys have fun.
Look, this is not a
democracy. You have no choice.
But I got a lot of bookkeeping
to catch up on. But nothing!
Ferdy Meisel,
Meet Alison parks.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
hi. Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, hello.
Protector 1 going
on-Line, level 1.
Protector 2 going
on-Line, level 2.
Protector 3 going
on-Line, level 3.
Lady, you, uh, got
a license for that outfit?
Why, uh, no, officer.
I guess you're just
gonna have to take me in.
You smell like pepperoni.
Well, if that's the way
you feel. Wait a minute.
What?
I like pepperoni.
oh.
In that case...
d
Michael.
What now?
You know I don't
allow that.
You allowed it
last week, didn't you?
Huh? What are you do... Michael.
I seem to recall it from
last week.
oh!
I don't know why I watch
these things. I scare so easily.
I'm sorry. I should've told you about
that. I've seen this a few times.
Can I get you
some more wine?
Ferdy, are you trying
to get me drunk?
No, no. I just figured
maybe you might be thirsty.
Part of the reason why Greg
fixed me up here tonight
Was so I wouldn't
squeal to my uncle.
I never thought that, uh...
what?
I never thought
it would be so, uh,
You know, nice.
It's been nice
for me too, Ferdy.
oh, god! Oh, god!
You're the king! You're
the king!
Chalk one up for the furniture
king. They're having a nice time.
Yeah.
It's getting kind of late. I was
going to seal up in about an hour.
What do you say
I take you home?
That's real sweet, Ferdy,
But if it's
all right with you,
We can stay
a little while longer.
Nice shot.
He gave his life.
I know.
Yo, Walter.
You havin' a good time?
Ty, you know paisley.
He loves a challenge.
Go ahead and laugh, but if I ever
find the bastards that did this,
They're dead meat.
Right, Walter. Right.
You better hustle. You don't wanna
get locked up in here again, do you?
Rub it in all you like. I'll be out
of here in 10 minutes. You'll see.
Creeps.
Bastards. Bastards.
Bastards.
You clumsy son of a bitch!
Look what you did.
I ought to turn you into
scrap metal for this.
May I see your
identification badge, please?
Identification badge?
Do not make
any sudden moves.
Sudden move? I'll give you a
sudden move upside the head.
What the hell is that? What is this,
you worthless pile of junk, huh?
Hey, look, I'm
like you, you know?
I work here.
See? Huh? See that?
Ah, shit. I knew you bastards were gonna
be trouble when they first brought you here.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
hey, smoking's
bad for your health.
I have to have a cigarette,
and I have to have one now.
Are you for real?
Can't you think of anything
you'd rather have besides a smoke?
No.
Okay. Okay.
Uh, I think singleton left a
pack of camels under the register.
Camels? No way.
You know I only smoke
virgin lights.
What do you expect me to do? Go
out in the mall and buy a pack?
There's a machine
right down by the phones.
You always get your way,
don't you?
When I'm happy,
everybody's happy.
That's for sure.
Hand me my badge, will you?
What's the magic word?
Hand me my badge, please.
Thank you.
Oh, mike?
What, what, what, what?
Hurry back.
Count on it.
Mmm!
A buck and a quarter?
Leslie.
Yeah?
No, Jamal, there haven't been
any messages for you.
May I see your
identification badge, please?
Geez, you little bastards
are quiet.
Here.
Clatto verata nicto, ok?
Hey.
No.
Mike?
Mike?
Brennan, you ass.
I'm not in the mood for games.
What is it with
those two anyway?
Personally, I can't figure it out.
All they do is have sex and fight.
Like most couples.
Yeah.
Look, we've got about 15 minutes
before the whole place locks up.
Ferdy.
Yeah?
Thanks.
Mike?
Mike?
Mike?
Damn you!
Brennan, 'you don't
come out now, don't bother.
All right, wake up.
Wake up!
I said wake up!
That's it! I don't
need this crap!
Oh, my...
oh, my god!
Oh!
Oh, my god!
Thank you. Have a nice day.
Protector 1, arming.
Engage intruder.
Oh, my god,
there's another one!
Protector 2, arming.
Assist protector 1.
The storeroom,
quick, let's go.
Let's go!
Go, go, go, go.
Here's a box.
Good. All right.
this isn't gonna
hold them very long.
You got any better ideas?
What about the fire exit?
all that's gonna do is put us
back in the middle of those machines.
Beats being trapped in here. Who
knows what they're planning right now?
Linda's right. We've gotta get out
somewhere we can run and get some weapons.
What was that?
That's the sound of us being
locked in here all night.
The security doors
don't open 'til 6:00.
Oh, no! We're never
gonna get out of here!
Yes, we are.
The phone's dead.
The computer must have
taken control.
Hey, what about that?
The air duct.
We take it down to the parking
levels, we're outta here.
Let's go for it!
Go, baby!
what was
that? Go, Suzie. Go.
I'm right behind you.
As usual.
Prepare for detonation.
Proceeding to alternate access.
Come on, Alison, you're next.
Come on, keep going.
Keep going!
I thought this was
an air conditioning duct.
Except the heat's been turned
on. In the middle of summer?
They know we're in here.
They're trying to French-Fry us.
Come on, Suze.
You know who gives you twice
as much heat at the restaurant.
Damn!
Wrap whatever you can
around your hands.
I can't stand this anymore.
I gotta get outta here.
I gotta get outta here!
Come on, Suze.
Hang in there.
What now?
Find some way outta here.
We're gonna have to defend ourselves.
This place got a sporting goods store?
Peckinpah's. Let's go.
How are we gonna get in?
Don't worry. I got the keys.
Jesus.
Ferdy, propane tanks. Grab
the biggest. All right.
Let's see.
What about shells?
Twelve gauge.
Here.
Great. Thanks.
And some 223's.
Let's go send those fuckers
a Rambo-Gram.
You sure you know
how to shoot that?
Yeah. I saw
dirty harry 24 times.
All set?
Yeah.
Good.
One of them ought to have heard
that. Dead man could've heard that.
Hey, fellas,
we got company.
That didn't take very long.
Steady. Go for it.
Ferdy, now!
I gotta find Greg.
He needs me.
Let me outta here!
Suzie, please.
The guys told us to go down
to the parking levels.
Come on, kiddo. Greg wouldn't
want you to give up now.
Oh, go to hell, Linda!
You do what you want,
but I'm getting out of here.
Suzie, stop it! Please.
Greg needs me.
I know he does.
Jesus.
What's that?
Robot blood.
Not too shabby, huh?
We're not finished yet.
We still got two more of these
suckers around here someplace.
We gotta get more tanks.
What are you thinking?
I got an idea.
Really, this is not
a good idea. Bullshit!
Greg could be hurt.
They all could.
I'm gonna find them.
I've got to.
What do you think?
Well,
If we gotta go,
let's not go empty-Handed.
Shit. I didn't think
they'd work.
Never hurts to try.
I guess not. Give me a hand.
Let's pry this baby open.
Come on.
You know, I gotta worry.
Report from the front:
Ferdy's gotta worry.
Yeah. What if these things
can read our minds?
They're gonna be awful mad
when they get to me.
All right.
Come on. Let's go.
Give me the gun.
Right.
Take the cap off
and stuff the cloth in.
That's it? That's it.
Light it and throw it.
You sound like
you've done this before.
Regular or unleaded,
it gets the job done.
Protector 1 back on-Line.
Hey, guys, how's it goin'?
Almost done, Ferdy.
You think mike got out all
right? For his sake, I hope so.
Right now, I'm more concerned
about the girls. You and me both.
Hey, I almost forgot. How
much do I owe you for the beer?
Forget it, man. If we get out
of here, you owe me a six-Pack.
Just make sure that those
cords are good and tight.
Are you sure
this is gonna work?
With those things,
I'm not sure of anything.
Ferdy, how's
the panel coming?
The doors work.
I bypassed the circuit.
But forget about going up or down.
It's controlled by the computer.
Do you hear anything
unusual? Only my heart beat.
No!
It's not stopping!
Come on!
Help me.
Help me up!
Suzie!
help me!
We've gotta help her!
Thank you,
and have a nice day.
Oh, god.
Come on!
You fucking bastard.
Get 'em to safety!
It's no use!
Go! Take it!
Now!
Rick!
Nice shot.
Dad's a marine.
According
to my calculations...
provided we survive
the night, of course...
we're gonna be in hock to this
place for the next 85 years.
How many tune-Ups
is that?
Just a sec.
2,900,431.
Maybe we should raise
our rates.
Hey, dead-Eye.
Yo.
Nice shootin'.
Thanks.
Tell me one thing,
though, huh?
Why did you leave
the air shaft?
I mean, you were
safe there.
You were safe.
Suzie thought you were in
trouble. She just wanted to help.
I'm telling you
you should've kept her there.
She told you what happened. Why
don't you just leave her alone?
Shut up.
You just shut the fuck up!
Hey. Do you guys mind keeping it down?
There's another one
of those things out there,
And you're gonna
bring it right to us.
There's another one?
Why haven't we seen it?
Why?
I'll tell you why.
'Cause the fucker's
out there waiting for us.
He's waiting to pick
us off one by one!
But I got news for you.
He ain't getting me.
Greg, you're
not thinking, man.
We got destroyed
by staying together.
And a lot of good
that did Suzie, right?
Wait. Wait.
I got an idea.
The master computer is
somewhere on the third level.
We shut it down,
it shuts the robots down.
Well?
It's worth a try.
Computer, huh?
Let's go trash the fucker.
Come on, guys! Let's
take it! Wait! Slow down!
Greg, will you wait!
Man, he's losin' it! We're lucky
he doesn't get us all killed.
Greg, stop!
Greg, wait!
Greg, please!
Stop!
Come on, guys!
The coast is clear!
Greg, no! Greg!
Greg!
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
The first one.
He didn't kill it. Go!
Protector 3 to level 2.
Engage intruders.
Protector 1 to level 2.
Engage intruders.
It's stuck. Let's get
it unstuck, and fast.
Come on! There's no time.
We're not gonna make it.
Come on!
Go.
Alison! Come on.
Alison, are you all right? I think so.
Where to?
Escalator, third level.
What about the doors? We can't
lock them. They'll get through.
Maybe so.
Maybe not.
Let's go!
Instructions:
attempt entry, level 3.
Affirmative.
Hold it.
This way.
Up here.
Protector 3, level 3.
Search proceeding.
Hold it, Ferdy.
They could be out there.
At least we're safe here for
the moment. Yeah, for the moment.
Those things can go
anywhere they want.
Maybe we'll all stand
a better chance if we split up.
Are you kidding?
The moment any one of us go out there,
we're dead meat, yesterday's news.
Damn it, Ferdy,
will you stop it!
Will you just stop it!
Linda.
Linda, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
I...
it's all right.
It's not you, Ferdy.
I guess I'm just not used to being chased
around a mall in the middle of the night
By killer robots.
it's in!
Yeah, and it won't be long before it
comes our way. We've gotta get outta here.
Not so fast. One of them could've doubled
back. We could get picked off out there.
Look, if those things
want some target practice,
Why don't we give 'em
some targets?
Get out of here!
Ferdy, now!
Rick, get out!
Linda!
You son of a bitch!
Rick, no!
Let's go find
that computer.
Where the hell is it? Probably
up one of these service corridors.
There's a million doors.
We'll never find it.
Okay, you try over there,
and I'll try over here.
I don't want to split up.
What can happen?
You want a list?
We're wasting time.
Look, if you see anything or
hear anything... you'll hear me.
Okay.
Ferdy! Ferdy!
Ferdy! Ferdy!
Ferdy!
Ferdy!
Help!
Alison, move!
Get out!
Laser malfunction. Laser
malfunction. Engage intruder.
Engage intruder! Laser
malfunction! Laser malfunction!
Engage intruder!
Please wait, intruder.
Stop right there.
Ferdy! Alison, get the hell out of here!
Oh.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
Come on, you little bastard!
Hey!
Have a nice day!
Hey!
Nice shot.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
Stop right there
and surrender your weapon.
Now you'll see...
Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes
the film portion of our presentation.
I'm sure you all
have questions.
So let me introduce you
to the head of development
For Secure-Tronics
unlimited...
Dr. Stan Simon.
Thank you very much.
Before I open the floor, I'd like you all
to meet your brand-New security team...
the protector 101
series robots.
One week from tonight
at closing,
The protectors will begin
their patrol of the mall.
Paul, they look like
the three stooges.
Each assigned to one of
the three upper shopping levels.
I don't know, Mary, the one in the
middle has an unpleasantly ethnic quality.
Now, are there
any questions?
Yes, dr. Carrington.
So what do your machines there
do besides kill criminals?
First of all,
the protectors do not kill.
I wonder if they
kill cockroaches.
They could probably
be programmed to.
And merely detain intruders
until the computer,
Located on the roof, can patch
into the mall phone system
And send the alarm
to the police.
I don't know. That guy
looked awfully dead to me.
Just neutralized. Protectors
can achieve this function
In a number of ways.
At close range, sleep darts
fired from here and here
Can knock a man out
in less than 30 seconds.
However, the likelihood
of an intruder gaining entry
Is greatly minimized
by the steel security doors
Which are time-Locked
from midnight 'til dawn.
Um, they seem so violent.
If they're called protectors,
what do they protect?
Plenty. For starters,
as seen in the film,
The protectors do their work in the mall
proper, not in the stores themselves.
Maybe we could use one
at the restaurant...
get rid of people
we don't like.
For instance, lasers
positioned here
Can cut through
any sort of debris.
Well, that's all very well and good,
but what about those who work late?
How can your... things there distinguish
between the good guys and the bad guys?
That's very simple.
Watch.
This is Simon.
Bring number one on-Line.
Whoa!
Wow!
May I see your
identification badge, please?
It's scanning.
They remind me of your mother.
It's the laser eyes.
thank you. Have a nice day.
Same to you.
There. You see?
The system is
absolutely foolproof.
Now, everyone connected with the
mall has been issued an I.D. Badge
So that when the mechanism
goes on-Line,
The protectors will make park
plaza the safest mall in the state.
Trust me.
Absolutely nothing
can go wrong.
Ow!
Are you all right?
Coffee?
Come on, sweetheart!
Give it to me! What do you got? Andiamo!
Can I get two uncle Luigi
belly busters, a double anchovy pizza
And an order
of garlic logs?
Gross. What Mojave brain
ordered that? Guy over there.
Oh, god. I should've known.
That orca beaches here every night.
Always trying to snag some skin.
Play it safe, Alison. Serve at
arm's length, if you get my drift.
Thanks for the advice.
Yeah.
Shit!
Oh, honey, you
breakin' my heart.
Look, Alison, in about
an hour and a half...
we bail this barbecue and
it's good times to the max.
You've got to show. Suzie,
you've got a one-Track mind.
I already told you,
I don't know anybody.
Yeah, but you will after tonight.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Would I set you up with
a slime dog or something?
No way, "babe. "
it is babe, isn't it?
Come on, come on!
Take it while it's hot.
Girls, come on! Yeah,
all right, all right.
Waitress, more butter.
Attention, shoppers.
In the next half hour, everything
in our drapery department
Will be marked down
30 percent.
Your attention, please.
Your attention, please.
We have a lost child in lingerie
answering to the name of Steve.
If my uncle finds out
I let you do this, I'm dead.
Don't tell me, Freddie. Are you
going chicken-Shit on us again?
We already agreed.
He trusts me to take care
of the store while he's gone.
He ain't gonna know diddly
unless you tell him.
You ain't gonna
tell him, are ya?
Don't force me
to pull rank.
Oh, I'm shaking.
You know, Brennan, you're becoming
a real candidate for prick hood.
What?
Look, guys,
This party is gonna happen,
but we need a little teamwork.
Besides, if the place looks like
shit on Monday, it's all our asses.
You got the beer?
Correct.
Come on. Dude!
The fridge is packed. Good. Rick
and Linda are bringing the food.
Clean sheets are
definitely waiting.
And, uh, Suzie...
Suzie has
a surprise for you.
I don't know, guys.
Come on, Ferdy.
Forget about your uncle awhile.
This is gonna work, okay?
Ferdy, you can't
back out on us now.
Okay, okay, let's party.
All right.
First I gotta find
Mrs. Flanagan's fuchsia
You find
Mrs. Flanagan's fuchsia.
You, you hold down the fort. I will.
I'm gonna go find Leslie.
I'm sure you will.
Quack, quack.
Greg, I...
Ferdy,
Don't worry.
I can't find the fuchsia.
Ah, fuck the fuchsia.
It's Friday.
Tell the old bag to wait.
Okay. Give it a try.
Strike three, Walden.
You're out.
My turn.
It's okay.
I got it, I got it.
You know the rules, buster.
Into the cab.
Okay, butch. You know I can't
resist it when you get tough.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just crank it when I tell ya.
Well? We're waiting.
Just a sec, huh?
All right. Hit it.
Always the first time.
I don't want to hear it,
not another word.
Me? No way.
I covered this whole deal when I
said, "for better or worse," remember?
Of course I remember.
Who could forget that 40-Weight
stain right there on your chest?
Should've been
"for better or weird. "
And speaking about weird, what
about this furniture store...
come on, Walden.
Indulge me.
We haven't had any fun since we sunk
all our wedding money into the business.
Besides, Suzie's
counting on us.
Honey, I don't care about...
okay. Okay, okay.
I guess I won't
be needing this.
Or, um,
Will I?
Attention,
shoppers. Attention, shoppers.
Park plaza will be closed
in 20 minutes.
The mall will be closing
in 20 minutes.
The lower parking levels
will be closed at 10:00.
Attention, please. Mr. Brad
Trevoy to the information kiosk.
you horny bastard.
can't you wait?
No. No, I can't.
What can't you
wait for, Michael?
Mr. Todd.
Uh, well, I...
uh, I was just telling
Leslie here that, uh,
Uh,
Well, that, uh...
daddy.
He was just telling me how he couldn't
wait to take me to Suzie's house tonight
For her, um,
birthday party.
I see.
Well, I'm running late.
You lock up?
Sure, I'll take care
of everything.
Yes.
I'm sure you will.
Okay, daddy.
I love you too. Bye.
So, what he say? He said,
"go out and have a good time.
All right!
That is bitchin'.
I wish I had it that easy. My
parents still think I'm a kid.
Why do I have the feeling I'm
gonna regret this in the morning?
Look, Alison, you've had
yourself a very rough first week.
You owe yourself
a little blowout.
Come on.
It'll be fun.
Okay, just so long as I don't
have to look at any more pizza.
You won't. I promise. Oh, great!
This is gonna be wonderful.
You won't regret this.
I bet.
Attention, shoppers.
Park plaza will be closing
in 10 minutes.
I am so nervous.
Hairspray, my lovely.
I really hate blind dates.
Oh, yeah! Audacious! Lipstick. Suzie...
Oh, no. This is a terrible
color. Give me another color.
What if he's not my type? Oh,
yeah, that's it... luscious lust.
Are you listening? What
are we gonna do all night?
Will you stop worrying?
Like I said, he's got...
a great
personality! That's right!
He does. You're going to
love him. Trust me on this.
Hey, babe.
It is "babe," isn't it?
Let me see. Okay.
What? What, what?
You look good. Yeah.
Are you sure?
Really?
Yeah!
Marty, I'm sorry I'm late, but it was
all-You-Can-Eat night down at the pit,
And I couldn't resist
the opportunity to pig out.
Marty?
Yo, Marty!
Hi, you guys.
The least he could do
was clean up.
Waste not, want not.
You know what I mean?
No, I, uh...
I guess you wouldn't.
Hello.
What do you mean, "who
is this"? You called me.
No, Marty's not here right...
jerk.
d street walkin'd
D it's a crazy world
street walkin'd
Happy motoring.
You're so sentimental.
D street walkin'd
D
shoot.
D I'm standing on the corner d
D night after night
D waiting for a lonely man
D
D he's just another customer d
D lookin' for a thrill
street walkin'd
D it's a crazy world d
D street walkin'd
D you get it
through the night d
D street walkin'd
D there's nothing
that I can't do d
D street walkin'd
D I'm lonely without you d
Come on, you guys. I got a lot
of bookkeeping to catch up on.
Tonight you are going to shake that
ultra-Wally image of yours once and for all.
But I like my image. I don't
wanna shake it. You guys have fun.
Look, this is not a
democracy. You have no choice.
But I got a lot of bookkeeping
to catch up on. But nothing!
Ferdy Meisel,
Meet Alison parks.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
hi. Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, hello.
Protector 1 going
on-Line, level 1.
Protector 2 going
on-Line, level 2.
Protector 3 going
on-Line, level 3.
Lady, you, uh, got
a license for that outfit?
Why, uh, no, officer.
I guess you're just
gonna have to take me in.
You smell like pepperoni.
Well, if that's the way
you feel. Wait a minute.
What?
I like pepperoni.
oh.
In that case...
d
Michael.
What now?
You know I don't
allow that.
You allowed it
last week, didn't you?
Huh? What are you do... Michael.
I seem to recall it from
last week.
oh!
I don't know why I watch
these things. I scare so easily.
I'm sorry. I should've told you about
that. I've seen this a few times.
Can I get you
some more wine?
Ferdy, are you trying
to get me drunk?
No, no. I just figured
maybe you might be thirsty.
Part of the reason why Greg
fixed me up here tonight
Was so I wouldn't
squeal to my uncle.
I never thought that, uh...
what?
I never thought
it would be so, uh,
You know, nice.
It's been nice
for me too, Ferdy.
oh, god! Oh, god!
You're the king! You're
the king!
Chalk one up for the furniture
king. They're having a nice time.
Yeah.
It's getting kind of late. I was
going to seal up in about an hour.
What do you say
I take you home?
That's real sweet, Ferdy,
But if it's
all right with you,
We can stay
a little while longer.
Nice shot.
He gave his life.
I know.
Yo, Walter.
You havin' a good time?
Ty, you know paisley.
He loves a challenge.
Go ahead and laugh, but if I ever
find the bastards that did this,
They're dead meat.
Right, Walter. Right.
You better hustle. You don't wanna
get locked up in here again, do you?
Rub it in all you like. I'll be out
of here in 10 minutes. You'll see.
Creeps.
Bastards. Bastards.
Bastards.
You clumsy son of a bitch!
Look what you did.
I ought to turn you into
scrap metal for this.
May I see your
identification badge, please?
Identification badge?
Do not make
any sudden moves.
Sudden move? I'll give you a
sudden move upside the head.
What the hell is that? What is this,
you worthless pile of junk, huh?
Hey, look, I'm
like you, you know?
I work here.
See? Huh? See that?
Ah, shit. I knew you bastards were gonna
be trouble when they first brought you here.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
hey, smoking's
bad for your health.
I have to have a cigarette,
and I have to have one now.
Are you for real?
Can't you think of anything
you'd rather have besides a smoke?
No.
Okay. Okay.
Uh, I think singleton left a
pack of camels under the register.
Camels? No way.
You know I only smoke
virgin lights.
What do you expect me to do? Go
out in the mall and buy a pack?
There's a machine
right down by the phones.
You always get your way,
don't you?
When I'm happy,
everybody's happy.
That's for sure.
Hand me my badge, will you?
What's the magic word?
Hand me my badge, please.
Thank you.
Oh, mike?
What, what, what, what?
Hurry back.
Count on it.
Mmm!
A buck and a quarter?
Leslie.
Yeah?
No, Jamal, there haven't been
any messages for you.
May I see your
identification badge, please?
Geez, you little bastards
are quiet.
Here.
Clatto verata nicto, ok?
Hey.
No.
Mike?
Mike?
Brennan, you ass.
I'm not in the mood for games.
What is it with
those two anyway?
Personally, I can't figure it out.
All they do is have sex and fight.
Like most couples.
Yeah.
Look, we've got about 15 minutes
before the whole place locks up.
Ferdy.
Yeah?
Thanks.
Mike?
Mike?
Mike?
Damn you!
Brennan, 'you don't
come out now, don't bother.
All right, wake up.
Wake up!
I said wake up!
That's it! I don't
need this crap!
Oh, my...
oh, my god!
Oh!
Oh, my god!
Thank you. Have a nice day.
Protector 1, arming.
Engage intruder.
Oh, my god,
there's another one!
Protector 2, arming.
Assist protector 1.
The storeroom,
quick, let's go.
Let's go!
Go, go, go, go.
Here's a box.
Good. All right.
this isn't gonna
hold them very long.
You got any better ideas?
What about the fire exit?
all that's gonna do is put us
back in the middle of those machines.
Beats being trapped in here. Who
knows what they're planning right now?
Linda's right. We've gotta get out
somewhere we can run and get some weapons.
What was that?
That's the sound of us being
locked in here all night.
The security doors
don't open 'til 6:00.
Oh, no! We're never
gonna get out of here!
Yes, we are.
The phone's dead.
The computer must have
taken control.
Hey, what about that?
The air duct.
We take it down to the parking
levels, we're outta here.
Let's go for it!
Go, baby!
what was
that? Go, Suzie. Go.
I'm right behind you.
As usual.
Prepare for detonation.
Proceeding to alternate access.
Come on, Alison, you're next.
Come on, keep going.
Keep going!
I thought this was
an air conditioning duct.
Except the heat's been turned
on. In the middle of summer?
They know we're in here.
They're trying to French-Fry us.
Come on, Suze.
You know who gives you twice
as much heat at the restaurant.
Damn!
Wrap whatever you can
around your hands.
I can't stand this anymore.
I gotta get outta here.
I gotta get outta here!
Come on, Suze.
Hang in there.
What now?
Find some way outta here.
We're gonna have to defend ourselves.
This place got a sporting goods store?
Peckinpah's. Let's go.
How are we gonna get in?
Don't worry. I got the keys.
Jesus.
Ferdy, propane tanks. Grab
the biggest. All right.
Let's see.
What about shells?
Twelve gauge.
Here.
Great. Thanks.
And some 223's.
Let's go send those fuckers
a Rambo-Gram.
You sure you know
how to shoot that?
Yeah. I saw
dirty harry 24 times.
All set?
Yeah.
Good.
One of them ought to have heard
that. Dead man could've heard that.
Hey, fellas,
we got company.
That didn't take very long.
Steady. Go for it.
Ferdy, now!
I gotta find Greg.
He needs me.
Let me outta here!
Suzie, please.
The guys told us to go down
to the parking levels.
Come on, kiddo. Greg wouldn't
want you to give up now.
Oh, go to hell, Linda!
You do what you want,
but I'm getting out of here.
Suzie, stop it! Please.
Greg needs me.
I know he does.
Jesus.
What's that?
Robot blood.
Not too shabby, huh?
We're not finished yet.
We still got two more of these
suckers around here someplace.
We gotta get more tanks.
What are you thinking?
I got an idea.
Really, this is not
a good idea. Bullshit!
Greg could be hurt.
They all could.
I'm gonna find them.
I've got to.
What do you think?
Well,
If we gotta go,
let's not go empty-Handed.
Shit. I didn't think
they'd work.
Never hurts to try.
I guess not. Give me a hand.
Let's pry this baby open.
Come on.
You know, I gotta worry.
Report from the front:
Ferdy's gotta worry.
Yeah. What if these things
can read our minds?
They're gonna be awful mad
when they get to me.
All right.
Come on. Let's go.
Give me the gun.
Right.
Take the cap off
and stuff the cloth in.
That's it? That's it.
Light it and throw it.
You sound like
you've done this before.
Regular or unleaded,
it gets the job done.
Protector 1 back on-Line.
Hey, guys, how's it goin'?
Almost done, Ferdy.
You think mike got out all
right? For his sake, I hope so.
Right now, I'm more concerned
about the girls. You and me both.
Hey, I almost forgot. How
much do I owe you for the beer?
Forget it, man. If we get out
of here, you owe me a six-Pack.
Just make sure that those
cords are good and tight.
Are you sure
this is gonna work?
With those things,
I'm not sure of anything.
Ferdy, how's
the panel coming?
The doors work.
I bypassed the circuit.
But forget about going up or down.
It's controlled by the computer.
Do you hear anything
unusual? Only my heart beat.
No!
It's not stopping!
Come on!
Help me.
Help me up!
Suzie!
help me!
We've gotta help her!
Thank you,
and have a nice day.
Oh, god.
Come on!
You fucking bastard.
Get 'em to safety!
It's no use!
Go! Take it!
Now!
Rick!
Nice shot.
Dad's a marine.
According
to my calculations...
provided we survive
the night, of course...
we're gonna be in hock to this
place for the next 85 years.
How many tune-Ups
is that?
Just a sec.
2,900,431.
Maybe we should raise
our rates.
Hey, dead-Eye.
Yo.
Nice shootin'.
Thanks.
Tell me one thing,
though, huh?
Why did you leave
the air shaft?
I mean, you were
safe there.
You were safe.
Suzie thought you were in
trouble. She just wanted to help.
I'm telling you
you should've kept her there.
She told you what happened. Why
don't you just leave her alone?
Shut up.
You just shut the fuck up!
Hey. Do you guys mind keeping it down?
There's another one
of those things out there,
And you're gonna
bring it right to us.
There's another one?
Why haven't we seen it?
Why?
I'll tell you why.
'Cause the fucker's
out there waiting for us.
He's waiting to pick
us off one by one!
But I got news for you.
He ain't getting me.
Greg, you're
not thinking, man.
We got destroyed
by staying together.
And a lot of good
that did Suzie, right?
Wait. Wait.
I got an idea.
The master computer is
somewhere on the third level.
We shut it down,
it shuts the robots down.
Well?
It's worth a try.
Computer, huh?
Let's go trash the fucker.
Come on, guys! Let's
take it! Wait! Slow down!
Greg, will you wait!
Man, he's losin' it! We're lucky
he doesn't get us all killed.
Greg, stop!
Greg, wait!
Greg, please!
Stop!
Come on, guys!
The coast is clear!
Greg, no! Greg!
Greg!
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
The first one.
He didn't kill it. Go!
Protector 3 to level 2.
Engage intruders.
Protector 1 to level 2.
Engage intruders.
It's stuck. Let's get
it unstuck, and fast.
Come on! There's no time.
We're not gonna make it.
Come on!
Go.
Alison! Come on.
Alison, are you all right? I think so.
Where to?
Escalator, third level.
What about the doors? We can't
lock them. They'll get through.
Maybe so.
Maybe not.
Let's go!
Instructions:
attempt entry, level 3.
Affirmative.
Hold it.
This way.
Up here.
Protector 3, level 3.
Search proceeding.
Hold it, Ferdy.
They could be out there.
At least we're safe here for
the moment. Yeah, for the moment.
Those things can go
anywhere they want.
Maybe we'll all stand
a better chance if we split up.
Are you kidding?
The moment any one of us go out there,
we're dead meat, yesterday's news.
Damn it, Ferdy,
will you stop it!
Will you just stop it!
Linda.
Linda, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
I...
it's all right.
It's not you, Ferdy.
I guess I'm just not used to being chased
around a mall in the middle of the night
By killer robots.
it's in!
Yeah, and it won't be long before it
comes our way. We've gotta get outta here.
Not so fast. One of them could've doubled
back. We could get picked off out there.
Look, if those things
want some target practice,
Why don't we give 'em
some targets?
Get out of here!
Ferdy, now!
Rick, get out!
Linda!
You son of a bitch!
Rick, no!
Let's go find
that computer.
Where the hell is it? Probably
up one of these service corridors.
There's a million doors.
We'll never find it.
Okay, you try over there,
and I'll try over here.
I don't want to split up.
What can happen?
You want a list?
We're wasting time.
Look, if you see anything or
hear anything... you'll hear me.
Okay.
Ferdy! Ferdy!
Ferdy! Ferdy!
Ferdy!
Ferdy!
Help!
Alison, move!
Get out!
Laser malfunction. Laser
malfunction. Engage intruder.
Engage intruder! Laser
malfunction! Laser malfunction!
Engage intruder!
Please wait, intruder.
Stop right there.
Ferdy! Alison, get the hell out of here!
Oh.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
Come on, you little bastard!
Hey!
Have a nice day!
Hey!
Nice shot.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.