Chopsticks (2019) Movie Script
1
Ganesh, clean the car.
...here's your car.
I wanted plates with numbers
that added up to nine.
But these add up to 11.
Eleven is a lucky number for some. Right?
The Twin Towers were attacked on the 11th.
September 11th
is the 254th day of the year.
Those numbers add up to 11.
...looked like an 11.
The plane that crashed into them
was Flight 11.
It was carrying...
-That adds up to--
-Eleven.
The pilot was Ramsy Yusouf.
His name adds up to 11--
We don't choose the license plates.
They are sent to us. Okay?
No. I just picked up the car
from the showroom.
Anyway...
You won't have to squeeze
into those crowded buses anymore.
And don't be in a rush to remove
the plastic seat covers.
-Okay.
-Keep them till they tear.
Do the plate numbers add up to nine?
-No. It's 11.
-Check it again.
Math was never your strong suit.
-I did. It's 11.
-It's okay.
Is the Guru's picture up?
Yes.
Then you're fine.
He'll take care of everything.
Don't forget to take the car
to the temple.
-Okay.
-Drive carefully.
-Mumbai roads aren't like Aurangabad.
-Okay.
Until you get used to the car,
wear a helmet for a week or so.
-Mom...
-What do you mean?
-And take care of the keys.
-Okay.
Mom, I need to hang up.
I don't want to get a ticket
on my first day.
Fine.
-Are you practicing confidence-building?
-I'm hanging up now.
And--
I have done that.
Here's Ms. Uncool.
The Dharavi slum is currently
the world's third largest slum.
Dharavi has an active economy.
Leather, textiles and pottery products
are among the goods made here.
This is where
Danny Boyle's award-winning movie
Slumdog Millionaire was filmed.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dharavi.
Hello, you ask me to make
And I make with a clove
White and Chinese guys are shocked
Don't waste your time by coming here
Business is at a loss
I am cold-hearted, move away
Life is not a joke, don't smoke
Everything is cheap
It's just that I don't get sleep
Debt doesn't stop me
I keep going fearlessly
Business is touching the sky
It's just that you're sly
Look at the Chinese
They sell nothing less than Mercedes
The public is smart these days
Before you go, check your way
We make the rules and regulations
You're just after a dream
Oh yeah, fulfill that, don't scream
You're just after a dream...
There are a lot of Chinese tourists
coming here these days.
That guy who made the Slumdog movie
should be smacked.
That's right.
Ladies and gentlemen,
an interesting piece
of information for you -
this is the only place in the world
that makes more counterfeit goods
than China!
Yes. How much?
Not now. Pay when you leave.
Okay.
-Where do I park?
-Take the first right up ahead.
-Are you blind?
-What are you looking at? Move on.
She could have killed me.
Shall I park it for you?
Yes.
Be careful. It's brand new.
I do this every day.
Yes, ma'am.
Take it and go.
Take my offering.
One Misal Pav.
Where's the pay-and-park lot?
There isn't any...
What is this?
It's a receipt for the public restroom.
Did you park in a no-parking zone?
They must have towed your car away.
The pay-and-park guy parked my car.
He parked it for you?
I think your car has been stolen.
What's the complaint?
My car was stolen.
From where?
From near the Mahalakshmi temple.
Your name?
Nirma Sahastrabuddhe.
Nirma?
As in the washing powder?
Where did you park it?
I didn't park it myself.
I thought this guy
was the pay-and-park valet.
I gave him the keys. So he...
You handed him the keys?
That's not theft.
You gifted a car to a thief.
Make and model?
I'll be 25 in March.
I was talking about the car.
It was brand new.
I picked it up
from the showroom this morning.
The plastic covers
were still on the seats.
License plate number.
Please write your address
and phone number.
Sign at the bottom.
Will I get my car back?
Of course.
I'll mobilize the entire force,
and find your car.
Make sure you give him
your property papers.
-Property papers?
-Yeah.
I'll be going there tomorrow. Call him.
You're here about your car, right?
You have three days to find it.
If you don't,
it will either be shipped out of town,
or the chop shops
will have stripped it down to parts.
But, they told me they would find it.
They just say that.
They won't make a move for three days.
I know a guy.
He can get it done.
What does he charge?
He's eccentric that way...
If he likes you,
he may even do it for free.
Mr. Patil, can I borrow your pen?
Here, jot it down.
He's avoided prison for 18 years.
Wouldn't you call him an artist?
Take me, for instance.
This is my second time this month.
Let's go. It's time.
You think you own that pen?
Give it back to me.
Let's go.
The women in our family
have a new WhatsApp group.
Sahastrabuddhe Beauties.
I put up a picture of you
and your new car.
It's getting a lot of comments.
We wanted to surprise you,
but I just have to tell you.
Your dad and I are coming
over this weekend to see the car.
-But, Mom--
-But we can't stay very long.
Your dad and I
are starting a keto diet on Monday.
Make sure your read all the....
I'll hang up.
May I speak to Mr. Artist?
My name is Nirma.
I'm here
to check your internet connection.
It's fine.
Let me do it.
It won't take too long.
All Chinese sauces
are so popular in India.
You can use it with chicken,
cottage cheese.
You can cook it with shrimp or fish.
It goes with everything.
Children are especially fond
of sweet and sour sauce.
We'll be making this dish using fish.
Here's what you need to do...
The oil is heating up,
meanwhile, let's prepare the sauce.
The oil is heating up.
Don't use too much oil.
We then add some ginger and garlic.
Now we add onions.
And then...
Now we add onions.
And while this cooks,
we will be taking a small break.
See you after the break.
Hello. I'm Sanjeev Kapoor.
Do you want to become India's Super Chef?
Then get ready.
I'm headed to your city,
in search of the Super Chef.
Couldn't your parents
find you a better name?
Excuse me?
You're named after a detergent.
Well, the day I was born...
was the day my dad
got his Nirma detergent franchise.
So...
Good thing it wasn't an iPhone franchise.
He might have named you...
Do you know the English name
for the rawas fish?
Do you?
It is...
The "L" is silent. Did you study English?
You should ask your school for a refund.
But, it's been so long
that they will refuse.
Hello.
Mrs. Wu, how are you?
You have a tummy ache?
How?
Oh, you should have asked
before eating Indian Chinese.
I'm very sorry.
We can't do that.
We can't postpone tomorrow's trip.
Thanks.
Do you work at the Shaolin temple?
No.
A translator means--
I know. I did go to high school,
and I learned English.
What is Mandarin?
It's a Chinese language.
Why Chinese?
I wanted to learn...
or any other European language.
But my dad said I should learn Chinese.
It is the most populous country.
He said it will always be in demand.
And you really can't depend on Europe.
They're fickle. They might even
start using another language.
Do you speak it well?
I'm okay at it.
Can you cuss?
Excuse me?
Cuss in Chinese?
I don't swear in any language.
Is that so?
Have you never said,
"Fuck, that's some great lamb"?
Never said, "Fuck, I'm screwed today"?
You've never used
the word "fuck" in anger?
You won't help me now.
Please help me.
-Nothing else in this city belongs to me.
-Where was the car stolen?
Huh?
Your car.
Where was it stolen?
Near the Mahalakshmi temple.
I went to ask for God's blessings.
Do you still believe in God?
It's not His fault.
I handed the keys to a thief.
I'll text you on WhatsApp
about tomorrow's meeting.
You need me?
You are my ride.
-But my car has been stolen.
-I couldn't possibly own a car?
Of course, you could.
What do I owe you?
-Amit!
-Yes, sir?
-Remove those tires.
-I'll do it after I dismantle the engine.
Hello. Yes, yes.
Tell me the license plate number.
The red one, right?
Come in the evening. It'll be done.
NASIK, PUNE, NAGPUR,
MUMBAI, THANE, JABALPUR
-You know Shafiq, right?
-The...
Yes, him.
He went to enroll his son
at school yesterday.
They asked the kid what he wanted to be
when he grew up.
Do you know what he said?
-Did he get enrolled?
-Fat chance.
-But Shafiq is really happy.
-Really?
Please stop this thing.
...sir. Listen to me.
I don't have any money,
honestly.
Please turn this thing off.
I've been running for so long.
Please turn it off.
I have a heart condition.
...sir. I can't run anymore.
Here's the thing.
I never call anyone twice.
I have a reputation to protect.
But, sir...
I called you three times.
You do have a good voice.
You never answered my calls.
Were you screwing someone?
Gosh! No, sir. What are you saying?
I was really busy at work.
I mean, I was busy looking for a job,
honestly.
You bought a three-bedroom apartment
in Lokhandwala last month.
No... I mean, I did but...
I spent everything on the dcor.
I have nothing left, honestly.
You're a playback singer,
a judge on Little Champs.
You do live shows abroad.
Yet you have nothing left for me?
Honestly, sir. I'm flat broke.
Sir... don't increase the speed.
Please, sir.
-I'm exhausted.
-Boss?
-Sir...
-Bitliya is here.
Sir, sir...
Did you feed chocolate to Bahubali?
Yes, boss.
Haven't you read his diet chart?
Next month, he has his 100th fight.
Chocolate will weaken his bones.
Sir, I'm illiterate, so--
You can't read?
Asshole, the government keeps telling you,
"Education is the path to success."
Yet, here you are.
...boss. It was a mistake.
I won't do it again.
Please, boss. Forgive me.
I won't do it again. Please forgive me.
I won't give anyone chocolate anymore.
I won't eat it either. I am an asshole.
Boss, boss...
Sir, please let me go.
I swear on Bahubali,
I will pray for his victory every day.
...sir.
Fine.
You don't have to pay.
Really, sir?
In exchange,
sing me my favorite song.
Life is a beautiful journey
Who knows what tomorrow will bring
Life is a beautiful journey
Who knows what tomorrow will bring
Sorry, sir.
I'm off-key without my harmonium.
Hey, look.
Mr. Zaveri has spent a fortune on this.
Sir,
that's why we brought it to you.
It's a brand new model.
Manual?
Sir, it's Good Friday.
Manuel is at church.
Dumbass,
I meant the manual for this model.
I have it.
Sir, it's in...
Yeah, Mom. I know I keep putting you off.
-But I am very busy.
-Sweet timing!
No, please don't come next weekend.
I'll let you know.
Okay. I'll call you later.
Translate it into words
that I can understand.
"This safe is unbreakable."
It says...
-Count this.
-Look at this.
Look, the box is open.
It will fetch a good price.
-How much will this get?
-At least 100,000 rupees.
This? How much will this fetch?
Count this as well.
How much is this worth?
There's more. Wait.
Wait... which stone is this?
-Is this sapphire?
-Wow! Look at the way it shines.
Take the keys and bring the car.
-Is this your family photo?
-It's the Godrej Locks Company family.
For 18 years,
I've been opening the locks they make.
I feel we have a connection now.
It's a...
Can you break any lock?
"Break"?
Every lock has a heart.
I listen to the heartbeat.
Your dog is pretty cute.
What's his name?
I had another, smaller dog.
Where's he?
He died...
because of...
Small Pox had cholera?
...was the name of my third dog.
Have you ever stolen a car?
Does an ophthalmologist
perform heart surgery?
-No.
-We work by the same rule.
Ever stolen anything?
No. Never.
It's just a matter of...
Excuse me?
Everyone steals at some point.
You will too.
What's causing this traffic jam?
What's going on here?
What a menace.
What is the problem with these guys.
Even the police aren't helping.
How long will this continue.
It's been at a standstill for 15 minutes.
This is too much. We're running late.
Why in the middle of the road?
Go to an arena.
Why did you stop? Keep playing.
Who played the National Anthem?
Let's go. We can't play anything
after the nation anthem.
Let's go. Let's go.
-That was a great...
-Who thought it up?
It was the idea of that guy in the...
Come on, let's go.
Look at the politician's face.
They'll hit me with shoes
if I have the band play again.
Let's go.
We're causing a traffic jam.
We're causing a traffic jam.
The traffic's finally cleared.
They learned a lesson.
-Come on, hurry up.
-That took so long.
That was really tiring.
Come on, hurry up!
Where are we going?
-Did you attend the party yesterday?
-Of course.
-Was it fun.
-It was great.
What's up, Artist?
You said we were going to the CBI.
Chillar....
PATKAR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
The guy has high connections,
like all ministers.
Why do you look so happy?
This picture looks just like you,
but it's not you.
WHEN EVERY CHILD GOES TO SCHOOL,
NO CHILD IS LEFT BEHIND
Ironically,
these kids are actually in a school.
Where does all that loose change
come from?
Who has the most loose change?
Beggars?
You are not as dumb as you look.
These people get loose change from them.
The government offers 100 rupees
in exchange for 90 rupees in coins.
That's it?
Do you know how much they make in a day?
They spend 10,000 rupees a month
on sewing supplies and rubber bands.
Why are they working without clothes on?
For...
If they're not wearing clothes,
they have nowhere to hide things.
Mr. UK!
Artist, bro...
He's a dear friend of mine.
Udan Khatola.
Artist, bro!
How are you?
-All good?
-Great. Couldn't be better.
I've never sat on a pile of money before.
Call for tea.
Tea.
Damn it! Go!
These scum are a real problem.
What's up?
It's a little thing.
Two days ago, her i10 was stolen
near the Mahalakshmi temple.
How?
I gave it to a parking attendant...
What's the plate number?
My vehicle is the best.
Don't worry.
I'll call you as soon as I know anything.
Have some tea.
No, I have to go.
Have some tea first.
No, no.
Got to go now.
If you hear anything from your boys,
let me know?
Next time, I won't let you go.
What was that dish
you brought me last time?
Lasun...
Yeah.
It was delicious. Scrumptious.
I brought you something Indian today.
Take a trip to Manali.
Bro, I feel your love.
...if I solve your problem,
will I get a discount on detergent?
That guy is going to find my car?
The beggars near the temple will do it.
When they have information,
we'll get a WhatsApp message.
Do the beggars have phones?
What kind of phone do you have?
They have the iPhone 7.
-Seems like Bahubali wants to live here.
-He's settled in nicely.
Life is a beautiful journey
Who knows what tomorrow will bring
Life is a beautiful journey
Who knows what tomorrow will bring
Stop!
I paid 2.1 million rupees for Bahubali.
Are you trying to give him indigestion
with these cheap tomatoes?
How will he perform at the fight?
Boss. We have to deliver four i10s
to Uttarakhand. But...
But what?
Bahubali has become attached to one car.
He won't step out of it.
Then keep it.
Never anger a fighter before the fight.
-Right?
-Okay, boss.
Keep it.
Sing!
But...
We need to meet a guy
at Andheri station at 9.
What's wrong? Is Jackie Chan dead?
Today, at work...
I have to quit my job. That's my only...
No other...
No.
No, no!
I'm creating the situation you described.
According to you,
if we jumped off this roof,
there's no way we'd survive.
-Right?
-What are you doing?
What are you...
Just answer my question.
According to you, if we jumped from here,
we're dead for sure.
-Yes or no?
-No, no, no.
No...
I said jump.
We can always jump backwards.
Whatever the situation,
there are always options.
Yes, Murtuza. We are here.
Sure. We'll wait here.
...sir.
I made you wait a bit.
-These are my working hours, you know.
-That's all right.
Business comes first.
Mr. Udan Khatola said
it was about a close friend of his.
He really does respect you.
...do you recognize me?
We've met before.
-Yes.
-That's why we're meeting you again today.
Come on, bro.
I caused you trouble.
No...
But why did you take my car...
I mean, you have such a lovely car.
What, this one?
I just got this one.
From the showroom?
No.
This one will go to Vashi tomorrow.
To the Vasant Vihar Society building,
near the toll plaza.
Gol Bandya has a mechanic shop there.
All the cars I boost go there.
That's where her i10 is.
Why thank me?
It's your car.
I think you should give Gol Bandya
a mobile phone in exchange.
He won't like it otherwise.
We'll buy him the best.
It won't matter
if the paint is a little chipped.
It can be touched up.
...we found my car.
I can't believe all that's happened
in these two days.
I saw a safe being cracked,
I stood on a roof ledge,
and I rode in a stolen car.
I'm not afraid of anything anymore.
-Buy a good one.
-No. I have a card.
You can return it later.
What about you?
I'll take this one.
Try this one.
That's fake currency.
Please wait up.
Lost your fear?
Those bills were not fake.
I think I must have been
10 or 12 years old.
I was treated for about a year and a half,
until I finally overcame my stutter.
I had to see a speech therapist
two or three times a week.
A speech therapist is...
I had to practice speaking
with balls in my mouth.
What is it?
In my profession,
that means something entirely different.
Can I ask you a question?
Why do you see everything
in black and white?
Well...
Everyone does.
They just don't acknowledge it.
I know why you didn't let me drive today.
Because, on the way back,
I'll be driving my own car.
But this is a dead end.
That's why Gol Bandya
has his chop shop here.
It's over there.
Okay, fine.
No, your name won't come up.
I told you, I won't drag you into it.
I give you my word.
Go on, hang up.
Yes, hang up.
You were absolutely right.
That bastard, Murtuza, lied to us.
He didn't deliver the car to Gol Bandya.
He gave it to Fayyaz, the gangster.
ABODE OF MERCY
Juice.
Boss, they say it's good.
As I said on the phone
they are from Animal Planet.
They're making a documentary
on animal fights, around the world.
"Bahu"...
"Bahu"...
..."bali"...
Who the hell is Neil?
The actor Neil Nitin Mukesh.
Boss, they want to get some footage
of Bahubali.
That's good news.
Publish it in our community paper.
-Okay, boss.
-Our fighter has become a star.
Yes, boss.
...I need to check your Wi-Fi connection.
Last month, HR informed me
I have many vacation days pending.
Do you have change?
Where?
BAHUBALI BECOMES A SUPERSTAR
You knew my car was okay,
but you didn't tell me!
That man beside the car - do you know him?
I don't care who he is.
The car beside him is mine.
You were the one who told me
there's always another choice.
BAHUBALI BECOMES A SUPERSTAR
How can you be certain that is your car?
Look at this... I put it there.
And the sticker proves it's your car?
I am telling you, this is my car.
I tore a corner when I put it on.
Practically every car has a sticker on it.
That's not evidence
to start an investigation.
You're right.
But if I'd been
the Commissioner's daughter,
would you be using the same logic on her?
Please aim the pepper spray
properly this time.
How did you get in?
You're asking me that question?
You have a stain...
on your shirt.
Very well spotted, Ms. Detergent.
We have one option.
Congratulations, boss.
Chop it up finely.
Mr. Artist,
how is your biryani shaping up?
It's coming along great, Farooq.
Smells delicious.
-How is your father doing?
-He's very well.
And your...
-Call the caterer.
-Okay, sir.
There's magic in your hands.
-The boss wants to see you.
-I'll be back.
I want to open a shop in Bhiwandi.
Near the highway. It will be good.
Keep an eye out.
Sir.
See me before you go.
You cooked lamb on Bahubali's birthday?
Yes, sir.
How will he feel when he sees
his relatives being served up on plates?
Hey, do it properly.
Who do you think you are?
All well, Farooq?
He humiliated me in public.
The old man's lost it.
He wants to make his goat a celebrity.
Serve the biryani!
I hear someone's making a film
about the goat.
That lunatic has called someone from
a beauty parlor to do the goat's makeup.
Insanity.
Serve the bread.
Please come, buy some fresh meat.
Come on, come on, come on.
This is great. We meet again, so soon.
I just felt like doing the rounds
of the market.
-He looks meaty.
-Yes.
He has three toes.
It's a miracle.
Such goats bring luck.
We sure do need some...
-See you. I need to finish loading up.
-Okay.
TAKE ACTION, IF YOU DARE
IF NOT, ENDURE
Yes?
They called me to do makeup.
Come in.
This way.
Wait here.
Hey, Ms. Beauty Parlor.
Hey, man. What are you doing?
Hurry up and deal the cards.
The queen evaded me in this game,
otherwise I was going to win.
Shuffle it properly.
-Is he dangerous?
-Not at all. He's as docile as a cow.
Do a good job. Make the boss happy.
I need some hot water in a bowl.
-Open the door.
-It has a padlock.
What are you doing?
You said every lock has a heart.
-I'm trying to hear its--
-Don't even try.
Got a hairpin?
Yes.
Put it in the keyhole.
Now what?
Leave it to fate.
Call me when you're done.
Yes, man.
I am in for ten.
-His move.
-Five from me, blind.
I am in for five too.
The makeup will take
about half an hour to set.
-Please don't touch him until then.
-Okay.
Listen...
The door is this way.
Five from me.
-I am in for blind.
-Me too. Do it over.
You were right.
Everyone steals something
at some point in their life.
My heart soars like a kite
Colored by a rainbow
The skies open up
I find clouds
That enchant me
I don't know where I'm headed
It's a secret I can't fathom
I don't recognize myself
This heart of mine
Has become a stranger
We should make the call now.
Death is inevitable, it will come one day
Life will fade away,
It will happen one day
Why fear such things
Who knows what tomorrow--
Stop!
I have Bahubali.
You have no idea
what you're getting into--
Listen to me closely.
Or the next time you see Bahubali,
he will be floating in sauce.
I want you to return the i10 you stole
near the Mahalakshmi temple.
Sir, do you want me to sing?
Bloody hell!
ABODE OF MERCY
Please pay me today.
What's this goat doing here?
This guy steals a Mercedes
from Fayyaz Qureshi...
All he wants in exchange is an i10.
Whoever he is...
he's a lunatic.
Boss.
That's all I know, sir.
Honestly.
Where does this Artist live?
I don't know, sir.
He's just an acquaintance.
-Yes, tell me.
-Mr. Artist?
Hey, UK. I need a ticket immediately.
...you aren't the only goat here.
I too have eaten grass all my life.
The difference is, you're a fighting goat
and I am a scapegoat.
Pack your bags in ten minutes,
and meet me at CST station.
Where are we going?
Not us. Just you. Back to your parents.
What about Bahubali?
I'll take care of him.
They are onto us.
It's not just about the car anymore.
It's gotten serious.
You live off loose change, right?
Now, eat it.
Let's go.
-Where were you?
-I've been looking all over for you.
-Where does it arrive?
-Platform two.
See you.
The number you have dialed
has either been switched off or--
There he is!
Search there! Boss is going...
What are you people doing?
Listen to me. Okay.
Hey. What is it?
Hey, listen!
Hang up.
When you find him, bring him here.
Call me.
Death is inevitable
It will happen someday
Life will fade
It will happen someday
Why fear such things
There's no need to be afraid
No one knows
What tomorrow will bring
No one knows
What tomorrow will bring
Boss.
It wasn't my intention to hurt you...
or to humiliate you.
I just wanted you to realize how it feels
when someone steals an object
you love dearly.
I know you're very angry.
That's exactly how I felt
when I realized someone had stolen my car.
I bought it that very day.
Even the police wouldn't help me.
And convincing you was...
That's why we took Bahubali...
But then I realized
that he's not an object,
he's like your child.
I just lost my car.
It's all right if I don't get it back.
Give me her car keys.
It's for...
Nirma took everyone to the cleaners today.
Bahubali will not fight anymore.
Please remove these... from the seats.
-Where do you want to go?
-Where my fate leads me.
You're an idiot.
Now I can cuss in...
Hey, listen.
Don't forget to invite me
to your restaurant opening.
I find something new inside of me
Something has changed
What is happening to me?
I find something new inside of me
Something has changed
What is happening to me?
I'm drenched by a rainbow
It feels like in this world
I see an eighth color
Mom, don't worry.
There's always an option.
Welcome to...
Our next...
...impressed me with his unique manner
during auditions.
Are you a professional cook or...
Then, what's your...
My work involves locks.
Locks?
Ganesh, clean the car.
...here's your car.
I wanted plates with numbers
that added up to nine.
But these add up to 11.
Eleven is a lucky number for some. Right?
The Twin Towers were attacked on the 11th.
September 11th
is the 254th day of the year.
Those numbers add up to 11.
...looked like an 11.
The plane that crashed into them
was Flight 11.
It was carrying...
-That adds up to--
-Eleven.
The pilot was Ramsy Yusouf.
His name adds up to 11--
We don't choose the license plates.
They are sent to us. Okay?
No. I just picked up the car
from the showroom.
Anyway...
You won't have to squeeze
into those crowded buses anymore.
And don't be in a rush to remove
the plastic seat covers.
-Okay.
-Keep them till they tear.
Do the plate numbers add up to nine?
-No. It's 11.
-Check it again.
Math was never your strong suit.
-I did. It's 11.
-It's okay.
Is the Guru's picture up?
Yes.
Then you're fine.
He'll take care of everything.
Don't forget to take the car
to the temple.
-Okay.
-Drive carefully.
-Mumbai roads aren't like Aurangabad.
-Okay.
Until you get used to the car,
wear a helmet for a week or so.
-Mom...
-What do you mean?
-And take care of the keys.
-Okay.
Mom, I need to hang up.
I don't want to get a ticket
on my first day.
Fine.
-Are you practicing confidence-building?
-I'm hanging up now.
And--
I have done that.
Here's Ms. Uncool.
The Dharavi slum is currently
the world's third largest slum.
Dharavi has an active economy.
Leather, textiles and pottery products
are among the goods made here.
This is where
Danny Boyle's award-winning movie
Slumdog Millionaire was filmed.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dharavi.
Hello, you ask me to make
And I make with a clove
White and Chinese guys are shocked
Don't waste your time by coming here
Business is at a loss
I am cold-hearted, move away
Life is not a joke, don't smoke
Everything is cheap
It's just that I don't get sleep
Debt doesn't stop me
I keep going fearlessly
Business is touching the sky
It's just that you're sly
Look at the Chinese
They sell nothing less than Mercedes
The public is smart these days
Before you go, check your way
We make the rules and regulations
You're just after a dream
Oh yeah, fulfill that, don't scream
You're just after a dream...
There are a lot of Chinese tourists
coming here these days.
That guy who made the Slumdog movie
should be smacked.
That's right.
Ladies and gentlemen,
an interesting piece
of information for you -
this is the only place in the world
that makes more counterfeit goods
than China!
Yes. How much?
Not now. Pay when you leave.
Okay.
-Where do I park?
-Take the first right up ahead.
-Are you blind?
-What are you looking at? Move on.
She could have killed me.
Shall I park it for you?
Yes.
Be careful. It's brand new.
I do this every day.
Yes, ma'am.
Take it and go.
Take my offering.
One Misal Pav.
Where's the pay-and-park lot?
There isn't any...
What is this?
It's a receipt for the public restroom.
Did you park in a no-parking zone?
They must have towed your car away.
The pay-and-park guy parked my car.
He parked it for you?
I think your car has been stolen.
What's the complaint?
My car was stolen.
From where?
From near the Mahalakshmi temple.
Your name?
Nirma Sahastrabuddhe.
Nirma?
As in the washing powder?
Where did you park it?
I didn't park it myself.
I thought this guy
was the pay-and-park valet.
I gave him the keys. So he...
You handed him the keys?
That's not theft.
You gifted a car to a thief.
Make and model?
I'll be 25 in March.
I was talking about the car.
It was brand new.
I picked it up
from the showroom this morning.
The plastic covers
were still on the seats.
License plate number.
Please write your address
and phone number.
Sign at the bottom.
Will I get my car back?
Of course.
I'll mobilize the entire force,
and find your car.
Make sure you give him
your property papers.
-Property papers?
-Yeah.
I'll be going there tomorrow. Call him.
You're here about your car, right?
You have three days to find it.
If you don't,
it will either be shipped out of town,
or the chop shops
will have stripped it down to parts.
But, they told me they would find it.
They just say that.
They won't make a move for three days.
I know a guy.
He can get it done.
What does he charge?
He's eccentric that way...
If he likes you,
he may even do it for free.
Mr. Patil, can I borrow your pen?
Here, jot it down.
He's avoided prison for 18 years.
Wouldn't you call him an artist?
Take me, for instance.
This is my second time this month.
Let's go. It's time.
You think you own that pen?
Give it back to me.
Let's go.
The women in our family
have a new WhatsApp group.
Sahastrabuddhe Beauties.
I put up a picture of you
and your new car.
It's getting a lot of comments.
We wanted to surprise you,
but I just have to tell you.
Your dad and I are coming
over this weekend to see the car.
-But, Mom--
-But we can't stay very long.
Your dad and I
are starting a keto diet on Monday.
Make sure your read all the....
I'll hang up.
May I speak to Mr. Artist?
My name is Nirma.
I'm here
to check your internet connection.
It's fine.
Let me do it.
It won't take too long.
All Chinese sauces
are so popular in India.
You can use it with chicken,
cottage cheese.
You can cook it with shrimp or fish.
It goes with everything.
Children are especially fond
of sweet and sour sauce.
We'll be making this dish using fish.
Here's what you need to do...
The oil is heating up,
meanwhile, let's prepare the sauce.
The oil is heating up.
Don't use too much oil.
We then add some ginger and garlic.
Now we add onions.
And then...
Now we add onions.
And while this cooks,
we will be taking a small break.
See you after the break.
Hello. I'm Sanjeev Kapoor.
Do you want to become India's Super Chef?
Then get ready.
I'm headed to your city,
in search of the Super Chef.
Couldn't your parents
find you a better name?
Excuse me?
You're named after a detergent.
Well, the day I was born...
was the day my dad
got his Nirma detergent franchise.
So...
Good thing it wasn't an iPhone franchise.
He might have named you...
Do you know the English name
for the rawas fish?
Do you?
It is...
The "L" is silent. Did you study English?
You should ask your school for a refund.
But, it's been so long
that they will refuse.
Hello.
Mrs. Wu, how are you?
You have a tummy ache?
How?
Oh, you should have asked
before eating Indian Chinese.
I'm very sorry.
We can't do that.
We can't postpone tomorrow's trip.
Thanks.
Do you work at the Shaolin temple?
No.
A translator means--
I know. I did go to high school,
and I learned English.
What is Mandarin?
It's a Chinese language.
Why Chinese?
I wanted to learn...
or any other European language.
But my dad said I should learn Chinese.
It is the most populous country.
He said it will always be in demand.
And you really can't depend on Europe.
They're fickle. They might even
start using another language.
Do you speak it well?
I'm okay at it.
Can you cuss?
Excuse me?
Cuss in Chinese?
I don't swear in any language.
Is that so?
Have you never said,
"Fuck, that's some great lamb"?
Never said, "Fuck, I'm screwed today"?
You've never used
the word "fuck" in anger?
You won't help me now.
Please help me.
-Nothing else in this city belongs to me.
-Where was the car stolen?
Huh?
Your car.
Where was it stolen?
Near the Mahalakshmi temple.
I went to ask for God's blessings.
Do you still believe in God?
It's not His fault.
I handed the keys to a thief.
I'll text you on WhatsApp
about tomorrow's meeting.
You need me?
You are my ride.
-But my car has been stolen.
-I couldn't possibly own a car?
Of course, you could.
What do I owe you?
-Amit!
-Yes, sir?
-Remove those tires.
-I'll do it after I dismantle the engine.
Hello. Yes, yes.
Tell me the license plate number.
The red one, right?
Come in the evening. It'll be done.
NASIK, PUNE, NAGPUR,
MUMBAI, THANE, JABALPUR
-You know Shafiq, right?
-The...
Yes, him.
He went to enroll his son
at school yesterday.
They asked the kid what he wanted to be
when he grew up.
Do you know what he said?
-Did he get enrolled?
-Fat chance.
-But Shafiq is really happy.
-Really?
Please stop this thing.
...sir. Listen to me.
I don't have any money,
honestly.
Please turn this thing off.
I've been running for so long.
Please turn it off.
I have a heart condition.
...sir. I can't run anymore.
Here's the thing.
I never call anyone twice.
I have a reputation to protect.
But, sir...
I called you three times.
You do have a good voice.
You never answered my calls.
Were you screwing someone?
Gosh! No, sir. What are you saying?
I was really busy at work.
I mean, I was busy looking for a job,
honestly.
You bought a three-bedroom apartment
in Lokhandwala last month.
No... I mean, I did but...
I spent everything on the dcor.
I have nothing left, honestly.
You're a playback singer,
a judge on Little Champs.
You do live shows abroad.
Yet you have nothing left for me?
Honestly, sir. I'm flat broke.
Sir... don't increase the speed.
Please, sir.
-I'm exhausted.
-Boss?
-Sir...
-Bitliya is here.
Sir, sir...
Did you feed chocolate to Bahubali?
Yes, boss.
Haven't you read his diet chart?
Next month, he has his 100th fight.
Chocolate will weaken his bones.
Sir, I'm illiterate, so--
You can't read?
Asshole, the government keeps telling you,
"Education is the path to success."
Yet, here you are.
...boss. It was a mistake.
I won't do it again.
Please, boss. Forgive me.
I won't do it again. Please forgive me.
I won't give anyone chocolate anymore.
I won't eat it either. I am an asshole.
Boss, boss...
Sir, please let me go.
I swear on Bahubali,
I will pray for his victory every day.
...sir.
Fine.
You don't have to pay.
Really, sir?
In exchange,
sing me my favorite song.
Life is a beautiful journey
Who knows what tomorrow will bring
Life is a beautiful journey
Who knows what tomorrow will bring
Sorry, sir.
I'm off-key without my harmonium.
Hey, look.
Mr. Zaveri has spent a fortune on this.
Sir,
that's why we brought it to you.
It's a brand new model.
Manual?
Sir, it's Good Friday.
Manuel is at church.
Dumbass,
I meant the manual for this model.
I have it.
Sir, it's in...
Yeah, Mom. I know I keep putting you off.
-But I am very busy.
-Sweet timing!
No, please don't come next weekend.
I'll let you know.
Okay. I'll call you later.
Translate it into words
that I can understand.
"This safe is unbreakable."
It says...
-Count this.
-Look at this.
Look, the box is open.
It will fetch a good price.
-How much will this get?
-At least 100,000 rupees.
This? How much will this fetch?
Count this as well.
How much is this worth?
There's more. Wait.
Wait... which stone is this?
-Is this sapphire?
-Wow! Look at the way it shines.
Take the keys and bring the car.
-Is this your family photo?
-It's the Godrej Locks Company family.
For 18 years,
I've been opening the locks they make.
I feel we have a connection now.
It's a...
Can you break any lock?
"Break"?
Every lock has a heart.
I listen to the heartbeat.
Your dog is pretty cute.
What's his name?
I had another, smaller dog.
Where's he?
He died...
because of...
Small Pox had cholera?
...was the name of my third dog.
Have you ever stolen a car?
Does an ophthalmologist
perform heart surgery?
-No.
-We work by the same rule.
Ever stolen anything?
No. Never.
It's just a matter of...
Excuse me?
Everyone steals at some point.
You will too.
What's causing this traffic jam?
What's going on here?
What a menace.
What is the problem with these guys.
Even the police aren't helping.
How long will this continue.
It's been at a standstill for 15 minutes.
This is too much. We're running late.
Why in the middle of the road?
Go to an arena.
Why did you stop? Keep playing.
Who played the National Anthem?
Let's go. We can't play anything
after the nation anthem.
Let's go. Let's go.
-That was a great...
-Who thought it up?
It was the idea of that guy in the...
Come on, let's go.
Look at the politician's face.
They'll hit me with shoes
if I have the band play again.
Let's go.
We're causing a traffic jam.
We're causing a traffic jam.
The traffic's finally cleared.
They learned a lesson.
-Come on, hurry up.
-That took so long.
That was really tiring.
Come on, hurry up!
Where are we going?
-Did you attend the party yesterday?
-Of course.
-Was it fun.
-It was great.
What's up, Artist?
You said we were going to the CBI.
Chillar....
PATKAR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
The guy has high connections,
like all ministers.
Why do you look so happy?
This picture looks just like you,
but it's not you.
WHEN EVERY CHILD GOES TO SCHOOL,
NO CHILD IS LEFT BEHIND
Ironically,
these kids are actually in a school.
Where does all that loose change
come from?
Who has the most loose change?
Beggars?
You are not as dumb as you look.
These people get loose change from them.
The government offers 100 rupees
in exchange for 90 rupees in coins.
That's it?
Do you know how much they make in a day?
They spend 10,000 rupees a month
on sewing supplies and rubber bands.
Why are they working without clothes on?
For...
If they're not wearing clothes,
they have nowhere to hide things.
Mr. UK!
Artist, bro...
He's a dear friend of mine.
Udan Khatola.
Artist, bro!
How are you?
-All good?
-Great. Couldn't be better.
I've never sat on a pile of money before.
Call for tea.
Tea.
Damn it! Go!
These scum are a real problem.
What's up?
It's a little thing.
Two days ago, her i10 was stolen
near the Mahalakshmi temple.
How?
I gave it to a parking attendant...
What's the plate number?
My vehicle is the best.
Don't worry.
I'll call you as soon as I know anything.
Have some tea.
No, I have to go.
Have some tea first.
No, no.
Got to go now.
If you hear anything from your boys,
let me know?
Next time, I won't let you go.
What was that dish
you brought me last time?
Lasun...
Yeah.
It was delicious. Scrumptious.
I brought you something Indian today.
Take a trip to Manali.
Bro, I feel your love.
...if I solve your problem,
will I get a discount on detergent?
That guy is going to find my car?
The beggars near the temple will do it.
When they have information,
we'll get a WhatsApp message.
Do the beggars have phones?
What kind of phone do you have?
They have the iPhone 7.
-Seems like Bahubali wants to live here.
-He's settled in nicely.
Life is a beautiful journey
Who knows what tomorrow will bring
Life is a beautiful journey
Who knows what tomorrow will bring
Stop!
I paid 2.1 million rupees for Bahubali.
Are you trying to give him indigestion
with these cheap tomatoes?
How will he perform at the fight?
Boss. We have to deliver four i10s
to Uttarakhand. But...
But what?
Bahubali has become attached to one car.
He won't step out of it.
Then keep it.
Never anger a fighter before the fight.
-Right?
-Okay, boss.
Keep it.
Sing!
But...
We need to meet a guy
at Andheri station at 9.
What's wrong? Is Jackie Chan dead?
Today, at work...
I have to quit my job. That's my only...
No other...
No.
No, no!
I'm creating the situation you described.
According to you,
if we jumped off this roof,
there's no way we'd survive.
-Right?
-What are you doing?
What are you...
Just answer my question.
According to you, if we jumped from here,
we're dead for sure.
-Yes or no?
-No, no, no.
No...
I said jump.
We can always jump backwards.
Whatever the situation,
there are always options.
Yes, Murtuza. We are here.
Sure. We'll wait here.
...sir.
I made you wait a bit.
-These are my working hours, you know.
-That's all right.
Business comes first.
Mr. Udan Khatola said
it was about a close friend of his.
He really does respect you.
...do you recognize me?
We've met before.
-Yes.
-That's why we're meeting you again today.
Come on, bro.
I caused you trouble.
No...
But why did you take my car...
I mean, you have such a lovely car.
What, this one?
I just got this one.
From the showroom?
No.
This one will go to Vashi tomorrow.
To the Vasant Vihar Society building,
near the toll plaza.
Gol Bandya has a mechanic shop there.
All the cars I boost go there.
That's where her i10 is.
Why thank me?
It's your car.
I think you should give Gol Bandya
a mobile phone in exchange.
He won't like it otherwise.
We'll buy him the best.
It won't matter
if the paint is a little chipped.
It can be touched up.
...we found my car.
I can't believe all that's happened
in these two days.
I saw a safe being cracked,
I stood on a roof ledge,
and I rode in a stolen car.
I'm not afraid of anything anymore.
-Buy a good one.
-No. I have a card.
You can return it later.
What about you?
I'll take this one.
Try this one.
That's fake currency.
Please wait up.
Lost your fear?
Those bills were not fake.
I think I must have been
10 or 12 years old.
I was treated for about a year and a half,
until I finally overcame my stutter.
I had to see a speech therapist
two or three times a week.
A speech therapist is...
I had to practice speaking
with balls in my mouth.
What is it?
In my profession,
that means something entirely different.
Can I ask you a question?
Why do you see everything
in black and white?
Well...
Everyone does.
They just don't acknowledge it.
I know why you didn't let me drive today.
Because, on the way back,
I'll be driving my own car.
But this is a dead end.
That's why Gol Bandya
has his chop shop here.
It's over there.
Okay, fine.
No, your name won't come up.
I told you, I won't drag you into it.
I give you my word.
Go on, hang up.
Yes, hang up.
You were absolutely right.
That bastard, Murtuza, lied to us.
He didn't deliver the car to Gol Bandya.
He gave it to Fayyaz, the gangster.
ABODE OF MERCY
Juice.
Boss, they say it's good.
As I said on the phone
they are from Animal Planet.
They're making a documentary
on animal fights, around the world.
"Bahu"...
"Bahu"...
..."bali"...
Who the hell is Neil?
The actor Neil Nitin Mukesh.
Boss, they want to get some footage
of Bahubali.
That's good news.
Publish it in our community paper.
-Okay, boss.
-Our fighter has become a star.
Yes, boss.
...I need to check your Wi-Fi connection.
Last month, HR informed me
I have many vacation days pending.
Do you have change?
Where?
BAHUBALI BECOMES A SUPERSTAR
You knew my car was okay,
but you didn't tell me!
That man beside the car - do you know him?
I don't care who he is.
The car beside him is mine.
You were the one who told me
there's always another choice.
BAHUBALI BECOMES A SUPERSTAR
How can you be certain that is your car?
Look at this... I put it there.
And the sticker proves it's your car?
I am telling you, this is my car.
I tore a corner when I put it on.
Practically every car has a sticker on it.
That's not evidence
to start an investigation.
You're right.
But if I'd been
the Commissioner's daughter,
would you be using the same logic on her?
Please aim the pepper spray
properly this time.
How did you get in?
You're asking me that question?
You have a stain...
on your shirt.
Very well spotted, Ms. Detergent.
We have one option.
Congratulations, boss.
Chop it up finely.
Mr. Artist,
how is your biryani shaping up?
It's coming along great, Farooq.
Smells delicious.
-How is your father doing?
-He's very well.
And your...
-Call the caterer.
-Okay, sir.
There's magic in your hands.
-The boss wants to see you.
-I'll be back.
I want to open a shop in Bhiwandi.
Near the highway. It will be good.
Keep an eye out.
Sir.
See me before you go.
You cooked lamb on Bahubali's birthday?
Yes, sir.
How will he feel when he sees
his relatives being served up on plates?
Hey, do it properly.
Who do you think you are?
All well, Farooq?
He humiliated me in public.
The old man's lost it.
He wants to make his goat a celebrity.
Serve the biryani!
I hear someone's making a film
about the goat.
That lunatic has called someone from
a beauty parlor to do the goat's makeup.
Insanity.
Serve the bread.
Please come, buy some fresh meat.
Come on, come on, come on.
This is great. We meet again, so soon.
I just felt like doing the rounds
of the market.
-He looks meaty.
-Yes.
He has three toes.
It's a miracle.
Such goats bring luck.
We sure do need some...
-See you. I need to finish loading up.
-Okay.
TAKE ACTION, IF YOU DARE
IF NOT, ENDURE
Yes?
They called me to do makeup.
Come in.
This way.
Wait here.
Hey, Ms. Beauty Parlor.
Hey, man. What are you doing?
Hurry up and deal the cards.
The queen evaded me in this game,
otherwise I was going to win.
Shuffle it properly.
-Is he dangerous?
-Not at all. He's as docile as a cow.
Do a good job. Make the boss happy.
I need some hot water in a bowl.
-Open the door.
-It has a padlock.
What are you doing?
You said every lock has a heart.
-I'm trying to hear its--
-Don't even try.
Got a hairpin?
Yes.
Put it in the keyhole.
Now what?
Leave it to fate.
Call me when you're done.
Yes, man.
I am in for ten.
-His move.
-Five from me, blind.
I am in for five too.
The makeup will take
about half an hour to set.
-Please don't touch him until then.
-Okay.
Listen...
The door is this way.
Five from me.
-I am in for blind.
-Me too. Do it over.
You were right.
Everyone steals something
at some point in their life.
My heart soars like a kite
Colored by a rainbow
The skies open up
I find clouds
That enchant me
I don't know where I'm headed
It's a secret I can't fathom
I don't recognize myself
This heart of mine
Has become a stranger
We should make the call now.
Death is inevitable, it will come one day
Life will fade away,
It will happen one day
Why fear such things
Who knows what tomorrow--
Stop!
I have Bahubali.
You have no idea
what you're getting into--
Listen to me closely.
Or the next time you see Bahubali,
he will be floating in sauce.
I want you to return the i10 you stole
near the Mahalakshmi temple.
Sir, do you want me to sing?
Bloody hell!
ABODE OF MERCY
Please pay me today.
What's this goat doing here?
This guy steals a Mercedes
from Fayyaz Qureshi...
All he wants in exchange is an i10.
Whoever he is...
he's a lunatic.
Boss.
That's all I know, sir.
Honestly.
Where does this Artist live?
I don't know, sir.
He's just an acquaintance.
-Yes, tell me.
-Mr. Artist?
Hey, UK. I need a ticket immediately.
...you aren't the only goat here.
I too have eaten grass all my life.
The difference is, you're a fighting goat
and I am a scapegoat.
Pack your bags in ten minutes,
and meet me at CST station.
Where are we going?
Not us. Just you. Back to your parents.
What about Bahubali?
I'll take care of him.
They are onto us.
It's not just about the car anymore.
It's gotten serious.
You live off loose change, right?
Now, eat it.
Let's go.
-Where were you?
-I've been looking all over for you.
-Where does it arrive?
-Platform two.
See you.
The number you have dialed
has either been switched off or--
There he is!
Search there! Boss is going...
What are you people doing?
Listen to me. Okay.
Hey. What is it?
Hey, listen!
Hang up.
When you find him, bring him here.
Call me.
Death is inevitable
It will happen someday
Life will fade
It will happen someday
Why fear such things
There's no need to be afraid
No one knows
What tomorrow will bring
No one knows
What tomorrow will bring
Boss.
It wasn't my intention to hurt you...
or to humiliate you.
I just wanted you to realize how it feels
when someone steals an object
you love dearly.
I know you're very angry.
That's exactly how I felt
when I realized someone had stolen my car.
I bought it that very day.
Even the police wouldn't help me.
And convincing you was...
That's why we took Bahubali...
But then I realized
that he's not an object,
he's like your child.
I just lost my car.
It's all right if I don't get it back.
Give me her car keys.
It's for...
Nirma took everyone to the cleaners today.
Bahubali will not fight anymore.
Please remove these... from the seats.
-Where do you want to go?
-Where my fate leads me.
You're an idiot.
Now I can cuss in...
Hey, listen.
Don't forget to invite me
to your restaurant opening.
I find something new inside of me
Something has changed
What is happening to me?
I find something new inside of me
Something has changed
What is happening to me?
I'm drenched by a rainbow
It feels like in this world
I see an eighth color
Mom, don't worry.
There's always an option.
Welcome to...
Our next...
...impressed me with his unique manner
during auditions.
Are you a professional cook or...
Then, what's your...
My work involves locks.
Locks?