Christmas Crime Story (2017) Movie Script
1
Silent Night
Holy Night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon virgin
Mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- How's your day?
- Interesting.
- Ha.
- Where's Homicide?
- They're dragging ass as usual.
So, here's what we got:
Santa Claus there
is your trigger man,
his real name is
Randall Edwards.
The clerk is, was Heather
Harrington, she's DOA.
Ambulance is in route, there's
no sign of the money yet
and this one was a silent alarm.
- Just another
Christmas Eve, huh?
- Oh, yeah, and get this, Santa
Claus says he didn't do it.
- Of course he
didn't, how could he?
He's out delivering
all those toys, right?
- Huh, joker.
- Hey, you want a candy cane?
- No, man.
- Ah, come on.
- No, no, no.
- I'm going in.
- How's Julia?
- Oh, she loves Christmas.
- At least somebody does.
- What the hell are you
doing in my crime scene?
Shouldn't you be on the street
controlling the crowds, officer?
- Am I in uniform?
- Yeah, congratulations,
now step off.
Last thing I need
is a DA up my ass
'cause some dumb shit
trampled my scene, let's go.
- Pardon me, Serpico.
- What was that?
- Nothing.
- Yeah,
that's what I thought.
- It's Heather Harrington.
- What?
- Her name, just thought
you might wanna know.
My mistake.
- Get him the hell outta here.
- 'Cause, see, I
would wanna know.
Because tomorrow
somebody who knows her
is gonna have a very
unmerry Christmas.
- You done?
- Yeah, he's done.
He's done, come on.
- How do you just waltz
in these crime scenes?
You see a young girl murdered,
you don't feel a thing?
Is that part of the
job description?
The application say,
homicide detectives,
all must be
diagnosed sociopaths?
- Control, six Lincoln
20, code seven.
- Roger 20,
code seven approved.
Bring back something
tasty, okay, honey?
- Don't I always, Julia?
20 out.
Heads, I'll do it.
Best two out of three.
- Merry Christmas.
That's for the children.
- Merry Christmas.
And happy new year.
- Ugh!
- Whoa, whoa.
- Goddamn!
- You hurt?
You'll be all right.
Take it easy next time.
- There won't be a next time.
- You're too young for makeup.
- No, I know.
But I also saw this dog at
the pet store and I want it.
- Evening.
What can I get for you?
Christopher.
- Hey, Mom.
- What are you doing here?
- I just happened to
be in the neighborhood,
thought I would stop by.
- Ah, hmm, just happened today?
- I know, what are the odds?
- Remote.
- Probably.
- So, how are things with you?
- Never better.
- Last thing I pegged
you being was a cop.
- Hmm, yeah,
it makes two of us.
It's detective now.
- Ah, detective.
Well, I guess you didn't
stop by for the conversation,
did you?
- It's actually my dinner break,
so I thought I would kill
two birds with one stone.
- Same old?
- Mm-hmm, times two.
- I think your eyes are
bigger than your stomach.
- Second one is not for me.
- A girl?
Are you?
- Yeah.
- Mmm.
- In fact, I might
propose to her.
Maybe even tonight.
- Hmm, Christmas present.
- Something like that.
- Is that why you
stopped by, to tell me?
- No.
So, how's work?
- Never changes.
I had a couple of chuds
in here earlier, yeah,
same old kinda night.
- You don't get a lot of
customers on Christmas Eve, huh?
- No.
Not really.
- How are you holding up, Mom?
- I'm good.
Everything is fine.
- Saw those when I walked in.
- What?
Ah, yeah.
- Started smoking again, huh?
- Yeah, a few years ago.
- You said you'd quit.
- Couple of times.
- Didn't take, huh?
- Didn't feel the
need after you left.
I only quit for you.
- I don't understand why you
would start up smoking again.
Especially after
what happened to Dad.
- Okay, now you don't
talk about things
you know nothing about.
- Is that the same tree?
First grade, right?
Wow.
- Yeah.
Been a long time since I had
a real Christmas tree in here.
- It's festive.
- Mom, when is Daddy coming?
- He's coming, baby, you
gotta be patient, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay, Chris.
Let's be honest.
What are you really doing here?
- I just wanted to say,
Merry Christmas, Mom.
- Well, thank you.
Merry Christmas to you too.
- Thank you.
I gotta hit the road.
- Oh, wait, what
about your food?
- She'll understand.
- Oh, well, um.
In that case, it was
really nice seeing you.
Unless there's
something you wanna say.
- Like what?
- Not for me to say.
- Is this about Dad?
'Cause I'm not in
the mood for games.
You want something from me?
- Oh, no, there's
nothing I want from you.
Nothing.
- Okay, so, that's it.
If there's something
on your mind,
now's the time to say it.
- You didn't even ask about him.
- I didn't need to, Mom.
When the door opened and I
saw you and not him, I knew.
- You know, before the funeral,
I sent you that letter.
He wanted to see you just one
last time before he passed.
- I didn't read it.
- Did you even open it?
- Thought about it.
- That's just so typical.
You just can't be wrong.
- That's what you want.
You just want me to say
that I was wrong and--
- No, how about we just
start off with I'm sorry?
You can't say those
two little words.
Nope, because you're
just, you're too damn,
you're too damn stubborn.
- No, I'm not.
- Not what?
Not stubborn or not wrong?
- Pick one, I gotta go to work.
- Okay, Chris, don't.
Please don't leave,
we can fix this.
Just, you just have to try.
- Just because you won't let
me forget what I did wrong
doesn't mean that I
don't spend every day
wishing I could change it.
But I can't go back
in the past, Mom.
And I've come to accept that.
Why can't you?
- No, Chris, wait!
- Gee.
Control, six Lincoln 20,
code seven over, over?
- Roger, 20.
Are you okay, Chris?
- Negative, Control, 20 out.
Why couldn't I just
say, I'm sorry?
I'm sorry.
See?
I'm sorry.
Jesus!
- Christopher!
- Turn the vehicle off, please.
- Yes, sir.
Well, I guess I was wrong.
The diner.
I said there wasn't
gonna be a next time.
- You know how fast
you were going?
- Uh, no.
- You could have
killed somebody.
Something funny?
- No, sir.
- What's the deal with those?
- Those, just some
side work I do.
Irrigation, stuff like that.
- License and registration.
- Sure thing.
- What was that?
- I don't know.
- Pop the trunk.
Now!
- Yes, sir.
- Now!
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah, that's how my son was,
really disrespectful
and stubborn,
always wanting someone
at his beck and call.
- You're talking about
him in the past tense.
- Yeah, I haven't
talked to him in years.
That's just how it is.
- Sorry about that.
- Evening, sir.
Take a seat anywhere,
I'll be in in a second.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So, get any good shots?
- Couple.
- They gonna
make you rich and famous?
- I doubt I'll be
as famous as Avedon
but it's an interesting hobby.
- So you're just gonna be one
of those starving artists?
- Are we starving?
- No, no thanks to you.
- What's that mean?
- I hate to break it to you
but your trust ain't
gonna last forever.
- You know, you're one
of a handful of people
who believes that seven
figures won't last a lifetime.
- At the rate you spend it?
- On you.
- Oh.
You're regretting it yet?
- Course not, I love you.
- Sasha Harrington Carlisle.
Geez.
I sound like I was born with
a silver spoon up my ass.
- We talked about
this, no hyphens.
- Uh, yeah, hyphens.
Consider yourself lucky.
I was gonna keep my last name.
Taking the groom's name?
It's too fucking patriarchal.
- You don't want my name?
- In Korea,
wives don't take their
husbands' last name.
- I didn't know we lived
in Korea, which Korea?
- The good one.
So, my David, I've been
meaning to ask you something.
- Yeah.
- This brooding photographer
shit is for the birds.
When are you gonna
get a real job?
- A real job.
Refresh my memory.
- I know this is a very
foreign concept to you,
but most people tend
to leave their house
for eight hours a
day, five days a week,
and they go to this magical,
faraway land called work.
And they make money.
- Is that so?
Maybe I got left out
of the loop, huh?
- David, I'm serious.
You hanging around the house
all day is kinda fucked up
when I have to go and work.
- What's bothering you more?
That you're working
or that I'm not?
- Both.
- You wanna switch?
- No, I just wanna be equal.
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Tis the season to be jolly
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Don we now our gay apparel
David, are you listening to me?
David.
- Not really.
- Hi, I'm sorry for the delay.
I hope I didn't
keep you too long.
There you go, it's on the
house, Merry Christmas.
- Appreciate it.
- Oh, well, thank you.
Would you like
some food, dessert?
- I think we'll need
a minute or two.
- Oh, okay, just let me know.
Join the triumph of the skies
With angelic host proclaim
Christ is born in Bethlehem
Hark, the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn King
- Good stuff, ladies.
- All right.
- So, hot chocolate?
- Yes, sounds good.
- All right, let's
get a move on.
I caught you trying to
sneak a peek earlier.
Now, what would Mrs. Claus
have to say about that?
- Well, she is the
jealous type, so--
- Got you by the balls?
- Ice grip.
- Ugh!
- So, all this?
Why do you do it?
- For the kids.
- You have kids?
- A charity.
It's just a small
way that I give back.
On the streets, kids don't
have much to look forward to
this time of year.
I'm Lena.
- Jason.
- Pleasure.
- So, got any plans
for Christmas?
Maybe besides this, obviously.
- Very little.
I'm a full blown Heeb.
- Yeah, I'm not really a
big man upstairs kinda guy.
- Just because I'm
into the Tanakh
doesn't mean I can't give you
New Testament boy some love.
- So.
You doing anything after?
- Just him.
- Ha.
- It was nice to
meet you, Jason.
And good luck with
the collection.
- David.
David, I'm not fucking
around, please.
- Debatable.
- Bullshit.
You treat me like
your fucking pet.
While I'm at work,
you hang around on the
sofa watching movies
or doing whatever the
fuck you do on that couch.
- I read, too, sometimes.
Besides, how would you know?
If you're at work?
- Because you're always
still watching them
when I come back.
- Oh, really?
You're really tugging at
the heartstrings here.
I mean, those starving kids
in Africa got nothing on you.
- That's not fair.
- Life is not fair.
I pay for the house, I pay
for my car, paid off your car.
The one you
handpicked, by the way.
Got you that rock you love
to flaunt so fucking much.
And all your jewelry,
and your spa treatments,
whatever the hell they are.
And in return,
you pay the groceries.
Which I cook.
And the utilities.
Is that so tough?
Because if it is,
you're free to walk.
And with your propensity for
being the village bicycle
back in the day,
you should have no trouble
hooking up somewhere.
So don't pretend
you're Mother Teresa
and you don't give
a damn about money,
because I know you, Sasha.
And despite your
contempt for me,
I would prefer you
stay because I love you
regardless how
you feel about me.
- You sure know how to show it.
- Don't you think
I wish you loved me the
same way I loved you.
- Meaning what?
- Let's just say you
love your low cut tops
and you're getting
dolled up all the time
but you're not doing it for me.
- So you think I'm screwing
other guys behind your back?
- I just think that you
like looking your best
and I look like a waste of time.
- In a T-shirt.
- It's a heat wave.
You wanna get outta here?
You're always doing that.
- Why didn't you
park in the lot?
- 'Cause I couldn't find a spot.
- You and your old man car.
- Let's not start that again.
- And it looks really bad
when you park on the driveway,
you know?
- What, next to your Lexus?
- It's a Mercedes.
- I'm gonna pretend I
didn't blatantly hear you
dissing my car.
- Would I do that?
- Wait, wait, I've
got a present for you.
- Okay, thank you.
- It's in the trunk.
- Can we go?
Please.
- It's in the trunk.
- Come on, David, I'm sweating.
- Let's open it here.
- I'm gonna get cholera!
Standing in this
Christmas heat wave.
- Christmas heat wave.
You don't get cholera from
heat, you get it from bad water.
- Okay, I will open it, okay?
- You know, I think it's
some of my best work.
- When did you take those?
- I took them last night.
Isn't that something?
Santa came early.
Here, I thought you
weren't the intimate type
Is this one of those
it's-not-me-it's-you things
or it's-not-you-it's-me things,
whatever the fuck it is?
- How could you do that?
- How could I?
How could I?
I'm so glad you asked me that.
I mean, while you were
kissing him in the dark,
I had to open the
aperture to an f-3.5.
The ISO was a bitch.
- David.
- But I got there--
- David, stop!
- When I told you I loved
you, it wasn't bullshit.
But you never loved me, did you?
Did you?
- Of course I did.
- Past tense.
- I still do.
- Get your hands off me.
I don't know what hurts more.
You lying with a straight face
or me wishing I
could believe you.
- Sorry, babe.
So sorry.
I've been meaning to do
this for a long time.
- You wanna kill me?
You wanna kill me?
You wanna kill me?
Okay, let's go.
- She's done for, buddy.
Snap out of it,
we got work to do.
First things first, okay?
You can't stay out here
in this heat like this.
You're gonna need a fucking IV
to replace all the
fluids you lost.
Where you going?
All right, it's
cool, man, no hurry.
I'll stay here and keep watch.
- Lose something?
- Oh.
- Geez, what happened?
- Oh, I didn't know, I tripped.
- Tripped on what?
- Oh, it's kinda stupid, really.
Thanks.
- Yeah, sure.
Merry Christmas.
- Ugh!
- Whoa, whoa.
- Goddamn!
- You hurt?
You'll be all right.
Take it easy next time.
- There won't be a next time.
- Camera's not
the hope diamond, buddy.
You can always buy a new one.
- If I had left it there, it
would have been suspicious.
- Well, body-checking a cop
is pretty suspicious too.
Don't you think?
I don't think Sleeping Beauty
is gonna wake up
from that one, mm-mm.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Oh, testy, huh?
That's what I love
about you, Davy.
You hit all the stages,
boom, boom, boom, boom.
One after the other.
What, huh?
You should be happy.
Acceptance is the final stage.
- No more fucking
chat, shut the fuck up!
- Why you getting
all riled up, huh?
I mean, you should
be grateful, dick.
- Oh, fuck.
- We better get her out of here.
She looks so peaceful,
don't you think?
All right, let's roll.
I bet you 20 bucks
I find it first.
- I don't
even own a shovel.
- Of course you do.
It's one of those
things everyone has
stashed away somewhere.
Aha, and I'm the type of guy
who's gonna say, I told you so.
- Let's go.
- Hold on a second.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's nice.
- Are you fucking crazy?
- Ha, hardly.
- I'm not
chopping her up.
- So, look.
We go out there, dig a
hole, we'll put her in.
- Right.
- Then, we'll cut her
into teeny, tiny pieces.
- I'm not doing
that, I told you,
I'm not cutting
her up, all right?
Jesus!
- See, this is why I hate
hanging out with you, Dave.
You never wanna have no fun.
- Being psychotic is fun to you.
- Well, here's what's psychotic.
You fucking sitting around
all day watching action movies
and never doing
anything with your life.
- I'm happy.
- Look at you lying.
Nobody could be happy
doing what you do.
- I suppose all things
considered, it's not too bad.
- What would you do if Mommy
and Daddy were still alive
and you didn't have this
nice little nest egg?
You'd be doing the same
fucking thing you're doing now.
Nothing, nada, ha.
- I can't believe
she did that to me.
Oh, you knew.
- What does he
have that I don't?
- Sense humor, massive cock.
Sounds like me, don't you think?
- Shut the fuck up.
- You better slow down.
You're driving a little
too fucking fast.
- I'm not.
- You're driving too fast, okay?
See, I told you you
were driving too fast.
- Fuck.
- I can't fucking believe you.
- You're distracting me.
- Oh my god.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Oh, geez.
Just be cool, man.
We're not going to jail.
- We are if he find
that fucking body.
- I'm not going to jail,
hence, we're not
going to jail, get it?
- Don't do anything.
- Oh, trust me.
Hey, you want me to handle this?
'Cause I can play nice.
- I think you've done
enough for one night.
I don't want you
screwing this up.
- Screwing what up, huh?
- Shut up.
- You shut up.
- Turn the
vehicle off, please.
- Yes, sir.
I guess I was wrong.
The diner.
I said there wasn't
gonna be a next time.
- You know how
fast you were going?
- No.
- You could
have killed someone.
- Slow your roll,
Mr. Police Officer.
Close only counts in horseshoes,
grenades, and nuclear war.
- Something funny?
- No, sir.
- You ran a red
light while speeding
in an urban center, and
you're laughing about it.
- I'm not.
I wasn't paying attention,
I'm really, really sorry.
- Don't apologize to this prick.
Take him out so we can
get back to business.
- What do
you do with those?
- Those, just some
side work I do.
Irrigation, stuff like that.
- License
and registration.
- Oh, this must be serious.
Officer of the law,
emotion forbidden.
- What's that?
- I don't know.
- Pop the trunk, now.
- You should take him
out for your own good.
Take him out.
Take him out.
You heard him.
- Now!
- Now's not the time to ponder
your shitty life choices, okay?
All right, let's go.
- I'm sorry.
This is not working
out, you, me, us.
- Breaking up with me, Davy?
- I'm serious.
Every time I listen to
you, things turn to shit.
- Well, whose fault is that?
Yours or mine?
- Mine.
I don't wanna see you anymore.
I want you to go away.
- You just can't wish me
into a cornfield, Davy.
Doesn't work that way.
- But I can sure as hell try.
- You'll die without me.
- No.
Ever since the beginning,
I just wanted to
do the right thing.
I find someone who truly makes
me happy and you blow that.
You can't stand the fact
that you're not the most
important thing in my life.
I have things I want
that don't include you.
Maybe,
maybe one day
things will change.
But they won't until
you give me some space.
Just for a while, okay?
Just for a while.
Just for a while, please.
Okay.
Okay.
Goodbye, Vince.
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah,
hallelujah, hallelujah
- You're welcome.
- You're late.
- Dude, whatever.
Are you the guy or not?
I don't got time for this shit.
- I'm the guy.
I never shake the devil's hand.
You realize I was
about two seconds
from walking out that door?
- No chains on that booth.
- No money at yours.
- It's coming.
- Is it gonna be here sometime
between now and New Year's?
- Have faith.
- In you?
Not in your fucking life.
So, what kept you?
- Traffic.
- A lot of traffic
on that sidewalk?
- Being in a hurry is
not a big priority to me.
- That I can work with.
- So?
Are we doing this?
- If I get my money.
So long as we're
clear on that fact.
- That's not clear for a second.
We haven't discussed a price
yet, just your startup cash.
- And?
- And how much is it?
- Does it matter?
If I told you it were a
million dollars right now,
you'd find a way.
- I don't know where
I'd find a million.
- The same place you're
gonna find 38 grand.
- Oh, wow.
That's a little higher
than I expected.
I was thinking five, maybe 10.
- You thought wrong.
My usual fee, 25.
Plus a 50% markup 'cause
I just don't like you.
Totals 38.
- I don't know if
I can swing that.
- You'll find a way.
Wouldn't wanna waste
my time or anything.
- Not if I can help it.
- See?
You're lying again.
Trust me, dishonesty
doesn't suit you.
10 minutes.
- I don't know
what's keeping him.
- Him?
- My contact.
- Okay, well, does
nebulous contact
know you're on the clock, right?
- He's gonna get you your money.
- I'm a patient person.
Tolerant, even.
But there's a big difference
between patient
with a first-timer
and a client who's
a disorganized,
- Gold digger?
- No gal pays someone
else to off their spouse
unless there's a pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow.
Just pointing that out.
- Still, it doesn't matter.
I'm your client and
you work for me.
- Not till I take
your money, I don't.
I'm walking at 6:30,
money or not, got me?
6:21, plenty of time.
- And I prefer not to spend
it in this shithole diner.
- Sorry for the delay.
I was a little tied up.
You guys ready to order?
- Not hungry.
- We're gonna be open
for a little bit,
in case you change your mind.
- It's okay.
I suspect I'll be
leaving pretty soon.
- And you?
- Maybe later.
- Maybe later, then.
- I'm gonna head to the
little girls' room, okay?
- Good, get lost.
- You got this.
You're fronting the money,
you're taking the risk.
We're doing things my way.
I'm not gonna let
you push me around.
My money, my deal.
I demand a better deal.
I'm getting a better deal.
- Thought you fell in.
- New price, 10 grand, and
it's not up for discussion.
- What the hell
happened in there?
- I think it's fair.
- And this is your expert
opinion about these matters?
- I know what's right is right.
- There you go waving
that word around again.
- I gave you a chance
to do the right thing.
You didn't, now I have to.
- You wouldn't the right thing
if some fellow stuck
it in your G-string.
- Been checking on me?
- Hey, I don't judge.
- Can we turn on the
AC in here, please?
- It's busted.
- Of course it is.
- What?
Can't take the heat?
- What do you do with
the money anyways?
You stack it in a
safe or something?
Hang on to it for a rainy day?
- Why are you having
me waste your beloved?
- The dude is fucking cuckoo.
- Guys are simple.
I had this job a
couple years back.
Guy wanted me to
take out his wife.
You know, whatever, standard
job, get it all the time.
This bald, lanky, Coke-bottle
glasses wearing motherfucker
would spend his whole
day sitting on his ass
playing computer games.
His wife was an
obstetrician, pretty gal.
Never made the runway,
but from what I hear,
her IQ is the 4th percentile.
She would have been going
places, not for that long.
So one day they
have an argument.
One thing leads to another
and she put the proverbial
gun to his head and says,
"You got two choices,
get a job or get out."
So, he gave me a call.
- Did you do it?
- Didn't have to.
The guy up and keeled over
the day before we
were supposed to meet.
Pulmonary embolism.
Turns out you can only sit
on your ass for so long
before life catches up with you.
- And why are you
so happy about it?
The guy died.
- Two reasons, his
death was no big loss,
and his wife kept up
her end of the bargain.
To death do them part.
I still keep tabs on
her from time to time.
She's doing better.
- Would you have done it?
- If he hadn't curled?
I think about that sometimes.
- What's your family
think of what you do?
They must be so proud.
- A lot of people
hate their jobs.
But they still do them.
I'm no different.
- He's here.
- He's not here until he's here.
Three.
Two.
Nah, you know what?
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't care.
Go ahead, Romeo, scratch away.
- Nothing.
- I'm gonna consider
this a victory.
It's been a pleasure.
It hasn't.
- We're not done yet.
- You're entitled
to your opinion.
- Thank you, Jason.
- I like your lap dog.
He knows when to
keep his mouth shut.
- This is a big operation.
I don't know what
to tell you, Randy,
but we don't exactly need
Santas after Christmas.
- It's Randall.
Don't call me Randy.
And yeah, I get it,
but come on, Barrett.
- Look, I like
you, I always have.
But revenues are down.
You know if I had something
it would be yours,
you know that.
But there's no money.
No money, no jobs.
- I appreciate that, but--
- No buts.
That's it.
Look, if anything opens up,
you're at the top of my list.
Till then.
- So where does that leave me?
- Somewhere else.
- You know, I just,
I don't accept that.
I will do anything, anything.
I'll pick up garbage
with a pointy stick.
- Hey, I had to let go of
three maintenance workers
just last week.
- Do you remember that story
on the news a while back
about the, I don't
know, it was like,
78 people stood in line all day
for a temp job washing dishes?
- Yeah, sure.
- Guys with degrees got
passed over for that.
What chance do I have out there
with things like that going on?
- I couldn't tell ya.
But you're resourceful.
I have faith in ya.
- I can't buy food
with faith, Barrett.
- Yeah, I know.
- Fine.
I'll just knock off
a bank or something,
maybe that will keep my family
fed for a couple of weeks.
- Don't talk like that.
You don't mean that.
It's counterproductive.
You're a good man, you work
hard, you'll find a job.
- We'll see.
- Yeah, it's Barrett.
Hey, hon, no.
Yeah, no, no.
That's fine.
Yeah, no, nothing
really that important.
Hold on a sec.
Hey, just bring that outfit
back when you get a chance,
all right?
No rush, Randy.
Mm-hmm.
- You never agreed
to my condition.
- Still sore over that?
- If you're not doing
it, hand over my bag.
- Yours?
Shit!
You are delusional.
What constitutes yours?
I want this, so it's mine.
Why did he not go
over to get it anyway?
'Cause he sure as fuck
didn't scrape it together
by his lonesome.
- Couldn't tell ya.
- Sure, just like you
don't know whether or not
you're gonna dump
your little boy toy
the second you get all
your dead bull's money.
- You're so clever, aren't you?
- See you in Lyon, I'll
bring the croissants.
- The bag stays.
- You realize there's
no going back now.
- Change the price.
- All right, 10 grand.
- Good.
I'd ask you to shake on it,
but I know how
you feel about it.
Here's to hoping we
never speak again.
- De gratia.
- Hey.
So, get any good shots?
- Couple.
- They're gonna
make you rich and famous?
- I doubt I'll be
as famous as Avedon,
but it's an interesting hobby.
- Randy!
Don't!
Dry cleaning!
- Don't call me Randy!
- I was serious, man!
You mess that up, I'll have to
send you the bill, all right?
- You know what?
You don't like what I'm doing
to your precious
little fucking outfit?
Then you go ahead and bill me.
You bought it on clearance
at Sears, fake fucking suit!
Don't look at me that way!
- Merry fucking Christmas!
What is it about
this time of year
Keeps us so happy
and on a cheer
Wherever you go
there's people smiling
'Cause it's Christmastime
And we're feeling fine
Share a little
bit of magic with me
Whistle throughout the land
Christmas is a time
when the love light shines
Go on and build
that big snowman
Share a little
bit of magic with me
Whistle throughout the land
Christmas is a time
when the love light shines
Watching the snow
flakes melt in my hand
What is it about
this time of year
The firelight
warms away our fears
Sharing the songs
that ring inside us
'Cause it's Christmastime
And we're feeling fine
Share a little
bit of magic with me
Whistle throughout the land
- So your lady friend
is running late, huh?
- Yeah.
Hoping she doesn't show.
- Nervous about it?
- Can I get a glass
of orange juice?
- Sure.
I hope you don't mind me
prying, it's just my nature.
Christmas is a time
when the love light shines
Watching the snow
flakes melt in my hand
- You're a little early, Santa.
- Any chance you're hiring?
- Mm, no.
- Ever?
- Times are tough, but
I can see what I can do.
Don't run off with that
pen, that's my favorite.
You okay?
I mean, for real?
- Sure.
It's just been a
tough couple weeks.
- Yeah, I hear ya.
Well, don't rush,
take your time.
- Yeah, people keep
telling me that.
- Telling you what?
- Never mind.
- Okay.
I'll be damned if
I'm gonna let Santa
walk into my diner
on Christmas Eve
looking like he just got a
lump of coal in his stocking.
- It's really not necessary.
- Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
I'll leave you to do that.
- Yeah.
- Where are you?
- I just had
to make a quick stop.
- You're not at the?
Randy?
- No.
No, of course not.
- You swear?
- I am not drinking.
I swear on my goddamn life,
I swear on Abby's life.
- Randy, don't blaspheme,
you know better.
- I know, I know, I'm sorry.
- How did it go with Barrett?
- Well, I
mean, best case scenario
I'm gonna be the Easter Bunny.
- April?
- Yeah,
last time I checked.
- So?
- So, I'm trying.
It's gonna take some time.
- Then try harder.
- Kasey, I know, okay?
Look, I'll be home soon, okay?
- All right, bye.
- My condolences.
That sounded rough.
- Yeah, I bet.
- Hey, it's Christmas.
Everybody is miserable
at Christmas.
- Tell me about it.
You're welcome.
- Mommy, can I talk to Daddy?
- Sure, baby.
- Yeah.
- It's me again.
- Yeah, what's up?
- Abby wants
to talk to you.
- Just tell her I'll
be home in a few.
Kasey?
- Hi, Daddy.
- Oh, hey, kiddo.
Merry almost Christmas.
- When are you coming home?
- I'll be home in a little bit.
- Can you come home now?
- Oh, you know what,
honey, I can't right now.
I got something
I gotta do first.
- After?
- Yeah, definitely, definitely.
So, you excited
for Santa to come?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
You think he's gonna
bring you something good?
- I don't think so.
- Oh, why not?
You've been a good girl
all year, haven't you?
- Does Santa ever bring money?
- Money?
Why would you want money
over some awesome toys?
I mean, that's just
nonsense, baby.
- I want money so
we can pay doctors
so they can make me all better.
- Abby, I want you to listen
to me very carefully, okay?
Your mommy and me, we got
all that worked out, okay?
I mean, you don't have to
worry about any of that.
Whatever it takes, we're
gonna take care of you,
you hear me?
Whatever it takes.
Now, what do you wanna do
about supper tonight, mm?
We can go anywhere
you want, anywhere.
- Maggie's, I want
mashed potatoes.
- Mashed potatoes,
yes, then that's it,
that's what we'll
do, Maggie's, yeah.
Hey, honey, will you put
your mom back on, please?
- Okay, Daddy.
- Yeah.
- What the hell was that about?
- Gimme one sec, okay?
Honey, why don't you
go get ready, okay?
So we can leave.
- Kase?
- Yeah, I'm here.
- How does she know about that?
- I don't know,
she must have overheard us
at the appointment today.
- But you
reassured her, right?
- Yep, I lied.
- Hey, hey, it's not
lying, you hear me?
It's not lying, everything
is gonna be okay.
- How can you say that?
- Okay,
just hang on a second.
Let me get off the road.
Okay, there we go.
But listen, I mean it,
everything's gonna fine.
- Fine?
We don't have money coming
in for months, Randy.
- Look, there's still a
lot of places out there
that are hiring.
- As a burger flipper
making two bucks an hour?
- As opposed to what, huh?
You think I was rolling in
cash playing Santa for a month?
- Well, no.
Where are you now?
- Just outside
some liquor store.
- What?
What the hell are
you doing there?
- I think I got a way
for us to get some money
for Abby's treatment.
I just gotta make it
through the holidays
and we can talk
about it later, okay?
Watch Movies and Series Free!
- All right.
Are you gonna meet us there?
- At Maggie's, yeah.
I'll be there in
10 or 15 minutes.
- All right.
I love you.
Bye.
- Hey.
- Drop the weapon!
- Down now!
- Drop the weapon!
Put your hands up!
- Hands up!
- Let me see your hands!
Let me see your hands!
Hands behind your head!
- Hey, hey, it wasn't me.
- Watch the gun.
- It's not mine,
there was a guy.
- Yeah, yeah,
right, shut the hell up.
- No, I'm telling
you, there was a guy.
He was robbing the store.
- Yes, there is, yes, he was.
Hand behind your
back, there we go.
Hold right there,
don't you fucking move.
All right, you got the gun?
- Got it.
- Good, stand up.
- It wasn't me.
- You got a name?
- Yeah, Randall.
Randall Edwards, but
you got the wrong guy.
I swear I wasn't robbing
the goddamn store.
- Yeah, just like it
wasn't your goddamn gun.
- It's not, I don't
even believe in them.
Listen to me, there was a guy
who tear-assed outta here,
and I heard three shots.
- Watch your head.
- Listen to me.
There was one, and then
there was two back to back
and then he came
out and took off
and then you guys showed up.
- You got a description
of this guy?
- Yeah, he's a white
guy, kinda young,
and he's wearing
a Santa suit also.
- So you're saying that
two guys in Santa suits
just happened to be at the
same store at the same time?
- It's Christmas.
- Look, Randall, you're under
arrest for armed robbery.
You have the right
to remain silent.
Anything you say can
and will be used--
- Just stop.
- Excuse me?
- Don't bother, man.
- So, let's be clear.
You're waiving your
Miranda rights, right?
- Yeah, just please stop.
- Okay, Randy, listen,
if we dust that gun,
whose prints are
gonna come back?
- Mine, let me explain.
He came out of the
store and dropped it.
I accidentally picked it up.
- You accidentally picked it up?
Get the fuck outta here.
You know, if you
make this easy on me,
I'll make it easy on you.
- James.
- Yeah.
- Clerk's down.
She's already gone,
I called it in.
- You get a name?
- Heather Harrington.
- Was that you, Randy?
I got an alarm, I got a
gun, I got a dead woman,
and I got you, look
at me, goddammit!
And you're telling me this
was some other Santa Claus
and some astrological event
happened or something like that.
You wanna try me again, Randy?
- Don't call me Randy.
- All right, whatever.
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- How's your day?
- Interesting.
- Ha.
- Where's Homicide?
- They're dragging ass as usual.
So, here's what we got:
Santa Claus there
is your trigger man.
his real name is
Randall Edwards.
The clerk is, was Heather
Harrington, she's DOA.
Ambulance is in route, there's
no sign of the money yet
and this one was a silent alarm.
- Just another
Christmas Eve, huh?
- Bad day?
- Huh?
- Normally, when I get
guys in here on Christmas,
it's not 'cause they're
having a good day,
you know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah, just
one of those days.
- Maybe you're looking
for a little pick-me-up?
Not like that, you perv.
- No, no, I'm okay.
- Come on, it's on me.
Unless you wanna keep
being a sad sack,
but to tell you the truth,
I'm gonna try and polish
off this bottle myself, so.
Don't even worry about it,
it hasn't worked in years.
You're not much of
a drinker, are you?
- Not really.
- The second one always
goes down easier.
Is that your girlfriend?
- How'd you know?
- Don't you know?
We all got intuition
about these things.
- Yeah, she said
something like that.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm guessing the love boat
is sinking, though, right?
- Why would you say that?
- Well, you're here.
- Yeah.
She kinda asked me to.
- Mm, it's my kinda girl.
You wanna hook me
up with her digits?
- You ever, uh.
I mean.
You love someone
but you hate how
they make you feel.
- So why stay with them?
Look, no, no, no.
I'm the worst person you
should ask to for advice.
I mean, my last boyfriend
was like a serial cheater.
And I ain't got no family,
except for my sister,
but I haven't talked
to her in years.
- Okay, well, let's just
say for argument sake
that's all moot.
- All right, so if she's
more of a ball and chain
than she is a magnet,
just dump her.
I mean, unless you're Hindu,
you only got one shot at life,
so why spend it with someone
who makes you feel like shit,
you know?
- Because I love her.
- Look, you ain't got to
tell me that, all right?
If you love her, make
sure you show her,
show her how you feel.
Don't just recite the words.
Just don't become a
slave to her is all.
- Thanks for the pep talk.
- Heather.
- Yeah, yeah.
I got that from your name tag.
- I'm John.
- John?
Okay, John, you don't
have to lie to me, John.
I don't judge.
- What do you mean?
- Shh, intuition, remember?
All right, so, it's gonna be
13.95, John.
Don't be a stranger, John.
- Could I get a lottery ticket?
- Yeah, you want
a nice purple one?
- Yeah, whatever is cheapest.
- Okay, so.
What are you doing?
- I'm sorry, I need the money.
- All right--
- Okay, shut up, okay?
Just do it.
- And we'll both just pretend
like this never happened,
all right?
- Look, shut up.
- You don't have to do--
- Just shut up, okay?
- Please.
- As soon as I get the
money, I'm outta here.
- No, no, no, that's not enough.
I need at least three
grand from that safe.
- We don't even keep
that much in here.
- Well, then give
me what you do have.
- Why you doing this, all right?
- It doesn't matter.
- It does matter because
you could just walk away.
- No, I can't.
I love her.
- She's making you do this?
- Stop fucking stalling.
- I don't know why you
just don't go to the cops.
I mean, she's obviously
blackmailing you, right?
- Oh, no, fuck!
I'm sorry, no, no, no.
Stay with me.
Stay with me, come on!
I'm so sorry!
No!
Fuck!
Goddammit!
- Hey.
- Nah, you know what?
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't care.
Go ahead, Romeo, scratch away.
- Nothing.
- I'm gonna consider
this a victory.
It's been a pleasure.
It hasn't.
- We're not done yet.
- You're entitled
to your opinion.
- Thank you, Jason.
- I like your lap dog.
He knows when to
keep his mouth shut.
- Come on, Davy.
You can dig better than that.
Come on, faster!
Dig, motherfucker, come on!
Holy Night
Dig that hole, move, move!
See, that's what you get for
not wanting to chop her up.
Now you gotta dig a bigger hole.
All is bright
Round yon Virgin
Mother and Child
- Santa!
- Hey, kiddo, Merry Christmas!
- Mom, he called me kiddo
just like Daddy does.
- I heard him, baby.
- Are you really Santa?
You don't look like him.
- I don't?
Why do you say that?
- You just don't.
- Abby.
- Huh, I kinda like that.
You got me, I'm not Santa.
But you've seen a lot of
Santas around town, right?
Stores, malls, stuff
like that, right?
- My daddy does that.
- Yes, he does.
- Yeah, Santa Claus, right?
He's awesome, he's magical
and shit, I mean, stuff.
But let's face it, Santa Claus,
he can't be at all
places at all times.
So he needs helpers.
Like your daddy and me.
- You know what I
want for Christmas?
- I couldn't tell you,
but if you tell me,
I'll make sure the big guy
gets the memo, okay, Abby?
- Mommy, he knows my name!
- He does.
- Go ahead.
- Well, Santa's got his
work cut out for him.
But I'll make sure Santa Claus
knows to do his best, okay?
- Okay.
- Abby, why don't you go
inside, get us a table?
I'm gonna have a little talk
here with Santa's helper, okay?
- Okay, Mommy.
- Hey, look.
I'm sorry if I got too close.
- No, you seem good with kids.
- How long has
your daughter been?
- Sick?
Four months, this time.
- It's nothing to
be ashamed about.
I understand.
- No, you don't understand.
And I praise God every
single day for each person
who doesn't understand.
- How much does all
that medical stuff cost?
- Too much.
I should get going, she's
probably looking for me, so.
- Wait.
Take this.
Just take it.
- I can't take this from you.
- I don't want it.
- Why?
- It doesn't matter, okay?
Just make sure--
- It's $250,000!
- Just make sure that you
help your kid with that.
- Mom, when are you coming?
- I'm coming, baby,
I'm coming, Abby.
I'll be right there.
I don't know what to give you.
I don't know, I have
nothing to give you but this
and you need to take this.
It's what's right.
Merry Christmas.
- You know what your daughter
wanted for Christmas?
She said she just
wants to be normal
like all the other kids.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Silent Night
Holy Night
All is calm
All is bright
- Oh my god.
Is he?
- Call 911.
Call 911.
- Dissing my car.
- Would I.
- You wanna kill me?
Okay, let's go.
- Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
- Merry Christmas, girls.
Mashed potatoes?
And chicken pot pie.
- Do you know of a man, came
in here in the last hour or so?
- Well, I've had
my share tonight.
What's your type?
- Mid-40s, a big haggard.
- Dressed like Santa Claus?
- That's him.
- Yeah, he was in
right before six,
he asked for a job application
and then he just took off.
Oh, you know what,
he did leave this behind.
- He just left it?
- Yep.
Enjoy.
- Good morning, ma'am.
I'm sorry, I'm afraid
I have some bad news
regarding your husband.
- No, no.
- Some details are
being released.
Except that the prime suspect
in the Magnolia
Liquor Store robbery,
Randall Edwards, a
47-year-old Glendale resident,
has reportedly committed
suicide while in police custody.
Officials are not releasing
any further information
at this time.
Reporting from North
Hollywood, I'm Nick Sanchez.
- What seems to have originated
with a botched robbery
and the murder of a clerk
here at Magnolia Liquor
at Hollywood Boulevard.
The clerk, Heather Harrington,
was pronounced
dead at the scene.
And the authorities suggest
that the perpetrator
was actively involved in the
death of Officer DeJesus.
Silent Night
Holy Night
All is calm
All is bright
- When did you take those?
- I took them last night.
Isn't that something?
Santa came early.
Here, I thought you
weren't the intimate type.
Is this one of those
it's-not-me-it's-you things
or it's-not-you-it's-me things,
whatever the fuck it is?
- How could you do that?
- How could I?
How could I?
I'm so glad you asked me that.
I mean, while you were
kissing him in the dark,
I had to open the
aperture to an f-3.5.
The ISO was a bitch.
- David.
- But I got there--
- David, stop!
- When I told you I loved
you, it wasn't bullshit.
But you never loved me, did you?
Did you?
- Of course I did.
- Past tense.
- I still do.
- Get your hands off me.
I can't, I can't, I can't.
- David.
- Home free.
- Think I could get
a lottery ticket?
- Yeah, you want
a nice purple one?
- Yeah, whatever is cheapest.
- Okay, so.
What are you doing?
- I'm sorry, I need the money.
- All right--
- Okay, shut up, okay?
Just do it.
- And we'll both just pretend
like this never happened,
all right?
- Look, shut up.
- You don't have to do--
- Just shut up, okay?
Just do it, please.
- All right.
You know, you don't have
to do this, all right?
You can just put the gun down
and we'll both pretend
like this never happened.
Please.
- I thought you said you
were gonna be busy with work.
- It's Christmas Eve.
The kids couldn't
wait up for you.
- I can see that.
Merry Christmas, baby.
- Merry Christmas
to you, sweetheart.
He wanted to see you
just one last time.
Is this about Dad?
Is that the same tree?
- You
didn't even ask about him.
You just want me to say
that I was wrong.
- There's
nothing I want from you.
- I
might propose to her.
- A girl?
Is that why you
stopped by, to tell me?
We can fix this.
No, Chris, wait!
- Is that the same tree?
First grade.
Mom, I'm sorry.
It's another sunny
Christmas in LA
It's another sunny
Christmas in LA
There's a traffic jam
On the 101
And the weatherman says
Sun, sun, sun
I miss icicles and
snowballs now and then
But I've got Mickey Mouse
And low gas bills for my house
Yeah most of all
I've got my friends
It's another sunny
Christmas in LA
That's all right, that's okay
Santa is coming here anyway
On a big red motorcycle
Who needs a sleigh
Santa's coming anyway
There's some smoke above
From a chimney top
Wait a minute, no
That's just a lot of smog
But I'm so happy to be
here this time of year
I won't cry and I won't pout
'Cause I've got friends
and I'm hanging out
And my heart
Is full of love and good cheer
It's another sunny
Christmas in LA
That's all right, that's okay
Santa is coming here anyway
On a big red motorcycle
Who needs a sleigh
Santa's coming anyway
'Cause it's Christmas in LA
It's another sunny
Christmas in LA
That's all right, that's okay
Santa is coming here anyway
On a big red motorcycle
Who needs a sleigh
Santa's coming anyway
'Cause it's Christmas in LA
Santa's coming anyway
'Cause it's Christmas in LA
Yeah
Silent Night
Holy Night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon virgin
Mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- How's your day?
- Interesting.
- Ha.
- Where's Homicide?
- They're dragging ass as usual.
So, here's what we got:
Santa Claus there
is your trigger man,
his real name is
Randall Edwards.
The clerk is, was Heather
Harrington, she's DOA.
Ambulance is in route, there's
no sign of the money yet
and this one was a silent alarm.
- Just another
Christmas Eve, huh?
- Oh, yeah, and get this, Santa
Claus says he didn't do it.
- Of course he
didn't, how could he?
He's out delivering
all those toys, right?
- Huh, joker.
- Hey, you want a candy cane?
- No, man.
- Ah, come on.
- No, no, no.
- I'm going in.
- How's Julia?
- Oh, she loves Christmas.
- At least somebody does.
- What the hell are you
doing in my crime scene?
Shouldn't you be on the street
controlling the crowds, officer?
- Am I in uniform?
- Yeah, congratulations,
now step off.
Last thing I need
is a DA up my ass
'cause some dumb shit
trampled my scene, let's go.
- Pardon me, Serpico.
- What was that?
- Nothing.
- Yeah,
that's what I thought.
- It's Heather Harrington.
- What?
- Her name, just thought
you might wanna know.
My mistake.
- Get him the hell outta here.
- 'Cause, see, I
would wanna know.
Because tomorrow
somebody who knows her
is gonna have a very
unmerry Christmas.
- You done?
- Yeah, he's done.
He's done, come on.
- How do you just waltz
in these crime scenes?
You see a young girl murdered,
you don't feel a thing?
Is that part of the
job description?
The application say,
homicide detectives,
all must be
diagnosed sociopaths?
- Control, six Lincoln
20, code seven.
- Roger 20,
code seven approved.
Bring back something
tasty, okay, honey?
- Don't I always, Julia?
20 out.
Heads, I'll do it.
Best two out of three.
- Merry Christmas.
That's for the children.
- Merry Christmas.
And happy new year.
- Ugh!
- Whoa, whoa.
- Goddamn!
- You hurt?
You'll be all right.
Take it easy next time.
- There won't be a next time.
- You're too young for makeup.
- No, I know.
But I also saw this dog at
the pet store and I want it.
- Evening.
What can I get for you?
Christopher.
- Hey, Mom.
- What are you doing here?
- I just happened to
be in the neighborhood,
thought I would stop by.
- Ah, hmm, just happened today?
- I know, what are the odds?
- Remote.
- Probably.
- So, how are things with you?
- Never better.
- Last thing I pegged
you being was a cop.
- Hmm, yeah,
it makes two of us.
It's detective now.
- Ah, detective.
Well, I guess you didn't
stop by for the conversation,
did you?
- It's actually my dinner break,
so I thought I would kill
two birds with one stone.
- Same old?
- Mm-hmm, times two.
- I think your eyes are
bigger than your stomach.
- Second one is not for me.
- A girl?
Are you?
- Yeah.
- Mmm.
- In fact, I might
propose to her.
Maybe even tonight.
- Hmm, Christmas present.
- Something like that.
- Is that why you
stopped by, to tell me?
- No.
So, how's work?
- Never changes.
I had a couple of chuds
in here earlier, yeah,
same old kinda night.
- You don't get a lot of
customers on Christmas Eve, huh?
- No.
Not really.
- How are you holding up, Mom?
- I'm good.
Everything is fine.
- Saw those when I walked in.
- What?
Ah, yeah.
- Started smoking again, huh?
- Yeah, a few years ago.
- You said you'd quit.
- Couple of times.
- Didn't take, huh?
- Didn't feel the
need after you left.
I only quit for you.
- I don't understand why you
would start up smoking again.
Especially after
what happened to Dad.
- Okay, now you don't
talk about things
you know nothing about.
- Is that the same tree?
First grade, right?
Wow.
- Yeah.
Been a long time since I had
a real Christmas tree in here.
- It's festive.
- Mom, when is Daddy coming?
- He's coming, baby, you
gotta be patient, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay, Chris.
Let's be honest.
What are you really doing here?
- I just wanted to say,
Merry Christmas, Mom.
- Well, thank you.
Merry Christmas to you too.
- Thank you.
I gotta hit the road.
- Oh, wait, what
about your food?
- She'll understand.
- Oh, well, um.
In that case, it was
really nice seeing you.
Unless there's
something you wanna say.
- Like what?
- Not for me to say.
- Is this about Dad?
'Cause I'm not in
the mood for games.
You want something from me?
- Oh, no, there's
nothing I want from you.
Nothing.
- Okay, so, that's it.
If there's something
on your mind,
now's the time to say it.
- You didn't even ask about him.
- I didn't need to, Mom.
When the door opened and I
saw you and not him, I knew.
- You know, before the funeral,
I sent you that letter.
He wanted to see you just one
last time before he passed.
- I didn't read it.
- Did you even open it?
- Thought about it.
- That's just so typical.
You just can't be wrong.
- That's what you want.
You just want me to say
that I was wrong and--
- No, how about we just
start off with I'm sorry?
You can't say those
two little words.
Nope, because you're
just, you're too damn,
you're too damn stubborn.
- No, I'm not.
- Not what?
Not stubborn or not wrong?
- Pick one, I gotta go to work.
- Okay, Chris, don't.
Please don't leave,
we can fix this.
Just, you just have to try.
- Just because you won't let
me forget what I did wrong
doesn't mean that I
don't spend every day
wishing I could change it.
But I can't go back
in the past, Mom.
And I've come to accept that.
Why can't you?
- No, Chris, wait!
- Gee.
Control, six Lincoln 20,
code seven over, over?
- Roger, 20.
Are you okay, Chris?
- Negative, Control, 20 out.
Why couldn't I just
say, I'm sorry?
I'm sorry.
See?
I'm sorry.
Jesus!
- Christopher!
- Turn the vehicle off, please.
- Yes, sir.
Well, I guess I was wrong.
The diner.
I said there wasn't
gonna be a next time.
- You know how fast
you were going?
- Uh, no.
- You could have
killed somebody.
Something funny?
- No, sir.
- What's the deal with those?
- Those, just some
side work I do.
Irrigation, stuff like that.
- License and registration.
- Sure thing.
- What was that?
- I don't know.
- Pop the trunk.
Now!
- Yes, sir.
- Now!
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah, that's how my son was,
really disrespectful
and stubborn,
always wanting someone
at his beck and call.
- You're talking about
him in the past tense.
- Yeah, I haven't
talked to him in years.
That's just how it is.
- Sorry about that.
- Evening, sir.
Take a seat anywhere,
I'll be in in a second.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So, get any good shots?
- Couple.
- They gonna
make you rich and famous?
- I doubt I'll be
as famous as Avedon
but it's an interesting hobby.
- So you're just gonna be one
of those starving artists?
- Are we starving?
- No, no thanks to you.
- What's that mean?
- I hate to break it to you
but your trust ain't
gonna last forever.
- You know, you're one
of a handful of people
who believes that seven
figures won't last a lifetime.
- At the rate you spend it?
- On you.
- Oh.
You're regretting it yet?
- Course not, I love you.
- Sasha Harrington Carlisle.
Geez.
I sound like I was born with
a silver spoon up my ass.
- We talked about
this, no hyphens.
- Uh, yeah, hyphens.
Consider yourself lucky.
I was gonna keep my last name.
Taking the groom's name?
It's too fucking patriarchal.
- You don't want my name?
- In Korea,
wives don't take their
husbands' last name.
- I didn't know we lived
in Korea, which Korea?
- The good one.
So, my David, I've been
meaning to ask you something.
- Yeah.
- This brooding photographer
shit is for the birds.
When are you gonna
get a real job?
- A real job.
Refresh my memory.
- I know this is a very
foreign concept to you,
but most people tend
to leave their house
for eight hours a
day, five days a week,
and they go to this magical,
faraway land called work.
And they make money.
- Is that so?
Maybe I got left out
of the loop, huh?
- David, I'm serious.
You hanging around the house
all day is kinda fucked up
when I have to go and work.
- What's bothering you more?
That you're working
or that I'm not?
- Both.
- You wanna switch?
- No, I just wanna be equal.
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Tis the season to be jolly
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Don we now our gay apparel
David, are you listening to me?
David.
- Not really.
- Hi, I'm sorry for the delay.
I hope I didn't
keep you too long.
There you go, it's on the
house, Merry Christmas.
- Appreciate it.
- Oh, well, thank you.
Would you like
some food, dessert?
- I think we'll need
a minute or two.
- Oh, okay, just let me know.
Join the triumph of the skies
With angelic host proclaim
Christ is born in Bethlehem
Hark, the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn King
- Good stuff, ladies.
- All right.
- So, hot chocolate?
- Yes, sounds good.
- All right, let's
get a move on.
I caught you trying to
sneak a peek earlier.
Now, what would Mrs. Claus
have to say about that?
- Well, she is the
jealous type, so--
- Got you by the balls?
- Ice grip.
- Ugh!
- So, all this?
Why do you do it?
- For the kids.
- You have kids?
- A charity.
It's just a small
way that I give back.
On the streets, kids don't
have much to look forward to
this time of year.
I'm Lena.
- Jason.
- Pleasure.
- So, got any plans
for Christmas?
Maybe besides this, obviously.
- Very little.
I'm a full blown Heeb.
- Yeah, I'm not really a
big man upstairs kinda guy.
- Just because I'm
into the Tanakh
doesn't mean I can't give you
New Testament boy some love.
- So.
You doing anything after?
- Just him.
- Ha.
- It was nice to
meet you, Jason.
And good luck with
the collection.
- David.
David, I'm not fucking
around, please.
- Debatable.
- Bullshit.
You treat me like
your fucking pet.
While I'm at work,
you hang around on the
sofa watching movies
or doing whatever the
fuck you do on that couch.
- I read, too, sometimes.
Besides, how would you know?
If you're at work?
- Because you're always
still watching them
when I come back.
- Oh, really?
You're really tugging at
the heartstrings here.
I mean, those starving kids
in Africa got nothing on you.
- That's not fair.
- Life is not fair.
I pay for the house, I pay
for my car, paid off your car.
The one you
handpicked, by the way.
Got you that rock you love
to flaunt so fucking much.
And all your jewelry,
and your spa treatments,
whatever the hell they are.
And in return,
you pay the groceries.
Which I cook.
And the utilities.
Is that so tough?
Because if it is,
you're free to walk.
And with your propensity for
being the village bicycle
back in the day,
you should have no trouble
hooking up somewhere.
So don't pretend
you're Mother Teresa
and you don't give
a damn about money,
because I know you, Sasha.
And despite your
contempt for me,
I would prefer you
stay because I love you
regardless how
you feel about me.
- You sure know how to show it.
- Don't you think
I wish you loved me the
same way I loved you.
- Meaning what?
- Let's just say you
love your low cut tops
and you're getting
dolled up all the time
but you're not doing it for me.
- So you think I'm screwing
other guys behind your back?
- I just think that you
like looking your best
and I look like a waste of time.
- In a T-shirt.
- It's a heat wave.
You wanna get outta here?
You're always doing that.
- Why didn't you
park in the lot?
- 'Cause I couldn't find a spot.
- You and your old man car.
- Let's not start that again.
- And it looks really bad
when you park on the driveway,
you know?
- What, next to your Lexus?
- It's a Mercedes.
- I'm gonna pretend I
didn't blatantly hear you
dissing my car.
- Would I do that?
- Wait, wait, I've
got a present for you.
- Okay, thank you.
- It's in the trunk.
- Can we go?
Please.
- It's in the trunk.
- Come on, David, I'm sweating.
- Let's open it here.
- I'm gonna get cholera!
Standing in this
Christmas heat wave.
- Christmas heat wave.
You don't get cholera from
heat, you get it from bad water.
- Okay, I will open it, okay?
- You know, I think it's
some of my best work.
- When did you take those?
- I took them last night.
Isn't that something?
Santa came early.
Here, I thought you
weren't the intimate type
Is this one of those
it's-not-me-it's-you things
or it's-not-you-it's-me things,
whatever the fuck it is?
- How could you do that?
- How could I?
How could I?
I'm so glad you asked me that.
I mean, while you were
kissing him in the dark,
I had to open the
aperture to an f-3.5.
The ISO was a bitch.
- David.
- But I got there--
- David, stop!
- When I told you I loved
you, it wasn't bullshit.
But you never loved me, did you?
Did you?
- Of course I did.
- Past tense.
- I still do.
- Get your hands off me.
I don't know what hurts more.
You lying with a straight face
or me wishing I
could believe you.
- Sorry, babe.
So sorry.
I've been meaning to do
this for a long time.
- You wanna kill me?
You wanna kill me?
You wanna kill me?
Okay, let's go.
- She's done for, buddy.
Snap out of it,
we got work to do.
First things first, okay?
You can't stay out here
in this heat like this.
You're gonna need a fucking IV
to replace all the
fluids you lost.
Where you going?
All right, it's
cool, man, no hurry.
I'll stay here and keep watch.
- Lose something?
- Oh.
- Geez, what happened?
- Oh, I didn't know, I tripped.
- Tripped on what?
- Oh, it's kinda stupid, really.
Thanks.
- Yeah, sure.
Merry Christmas.
- Ugh!
- Whoa, whoa.
- Goddamn!
- You hurt?
You'll be all right.
Take it easy next time.
- There won't be a next time.
- Camera's not
the hope diamond, buddy.
You can always buy a new one.
- If I had left it there, it
would have been suspicious.
- Well, body-checking a cop
is pretty suspicious too.
Don't you think?
I don't think Sleeping Beauty
is gonna wake up
from that one, mm-mm.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Oh, testy, huh?
That's what I love
about you, Davy.
You hit all the stages,
boom, boom, boom, boom.
One after the other.
What, huh?
You should be happy.
Acceptance is the final stage.
- No more fucking
chat, shut the fuck up!
- Why you getting
all riled up, huh?
I mean, you should
be grateful, dick.
- Oh, fuck.
- We better get her out of here.
She looks so peaceful,
don't you think?
All right, let's roll.
I bet you 20 bucks
I find it first.
- I don't
even own a shovel.
- Of course you do.
It's one of those
things everyone has
stashed away somewhere.
Aha, and I'm the type of guy
who's gonna say, I told you so.
- Let's go.
- Hold on a second.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's nice.
- Are you fucking crazy?
- Ha, hardly.
- I'm not
chopping her up.
- So, look.
We go out there, dig a
hole, we'll put her in.
- Right.
- Then, we'll cut her
into teeny, tiny pieces.
- I'm not doing
that, I told you,
I'm not cutting
her up, all right?
Jesus!
- See, this is why I hate
hanging out with you, Dave.
You never wanna have no fun.
- Being psychotic is fun to you.
- Well, here's what's psychotic.
You fucking sitting around
all day watching action movies
and never doing
anything with your life.
- I'm happy.
- Look at you lying.
Nobody could be happy
doing what you do.
- I suppose all things
considered, it's not too bad.
- What would you do if Mommy
and Daddy were still alive
and you didn't have this
nice little nest egg?
You'd be doing the same
fucking thing you're doing now.
Nothing, nada, ha.
- I can't believe
she did that to me.
Oh, you knew.
- What does he
have that I don't?
- Sense humor, massive cock.
Sounds like me, don't you think?
- Shut the fuck up.
- You better slow down.
You're driving a little
too fucking fast.
- I'm not.
- You're driving too fast, okay?
See, I told you you
were driving too fast.
- Fuck.
- I can't fucking believe you.
- You're distracting me.
- Oh my god.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Oh, geez.
Just be cool, man.
We're not going to jail.
- We are if he find
that fucking body.
- I'm not going to jail,
hence, we're not
going to jail, get it?
- Don't do anything.
- Oh, trust me.
Hey, you want me to handle this?
'Cause I can play nice.
- I think you've done
enough for one night.
I don't want you
screwing this up.
- Screwing what up, huh?
- Shut up.
- You shut up.
- Turn the
vehicle off, please.
- Yes, sir.
I guess I was wrong.
The diner.
I said there wasn't
gonna be a next time.
- You know how
fast you were going?
- No.
- You could
have killed someone.
- Slow your roll,
Mr. Police Officer.
Close only counts in horseshoes,
grenades, and nuclear war.
- Something funny?
- No, sir.
- You ran a red
light while speeding
in an urban center, and
you're laughing about it.
- I'm not.
I wasn't paying attention,
I'm really, really sorry.
- Don't apologize to this prick.
Take him out so we can
get back to business.
- What do
you do with those?
- Those, just some
side work I do.
Irrigation, stuff like that.
- License
and registration.
- Oh, this must be serious.
Officer of the law,
emotion forbidden.
- What's that?
- I don't know.
- Pop the trunk, now.
- You should take him
out for your own good.
Take him out.
Take him out.
You heard him.
- Now!
- Now's not the time to ponder
your shitty life choices, okay?
All right, let's go.
- I'm sorry.
This is not working
out, you, me, us.
- Breaking up with me, Davy?
- I'm serious.
Every time I listen to
you, things turn to shit.
- Well, whose fault is that?
Yours or mine?
- Mine.
I don't wanna see you anymore.
I want you to go away.
- You just can't wish me
into a cornfield, Davy.
Doesn't work that way.
- But I can sure as hell try.
- You'll die without me.
- No.
Ever since the beginning,
I just wanted to
do the right thing.
I find someone who truly makes
me happy and you blow that.
You can't stand the fact
that you're not the most
important thing in my life.
I have things I want
that don't include you.
Maybe,
maybe one day
things will change.
But they won't until
you give me some space.
Just for a while, okay?
Just for a while.
Just for a while, please.
Okay.
Okay.
Goodbye, Vince.
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah,
hallelujah, hallelujah
- You're welcome.
- You're late.
- Dude, whatever.
Are you the guy or not?
I don't got time for this shit.
- I'm the guy.
I never shake the devil's hand.
You realize I was
about two seconds
from walking out that door?
- No chains on that booth.
- No money at yours.
- It's coming.
- Is it gonna be here sometime
between now and New Year's?
- Have faith.
- In you?
Not in your fucking life.
So, what kept you?
- Traffic.
- A lot of traffic
on that sidewalk?
- Being in a hurry is
not a big priority to me.
- That I can work with.
- So?
Are we doing this?
- If I get my money.
So long as we're
clear on that fact.
- That's not clear for a second.
We haven't discussed a price
yet, just your startup cash.
- And?
- And how much is it?
- Does it matter?
If I told you it were a
million dollars right now,
you'd find a way.
- I don't know where
I'd find a million.
- The same place you're
gonna find 38 grand.
- Oh, wow.
That's a little higher
than I expected.
I was thinking five, maybe 10.
- You thought wrong.
My usual fee, 25.
Plus a 50% markup 'cause
I just don't like you.
Totals 38.
- I don't know if
I can swing that.
- You'll find a way.
Wouldn't wanna waste
my time or anything.
- Not if I can help it.
- See?
You're lying again.
Trust me, dishonesty
doesn't suit you.
10 minutes.
- I don't know
what's keeping him.
- Him?
- My contact.
- Okay, well, does
nebulous contact
know you're on the clock, right?
- He's gonna get you your money.
- I'm a patient person.
Tolerant, even.
But there's a big difference
between patient
with a first-timer
and a client who's
a disorganized,
- Gold digger?
- No gal pays someone
else to off their spouse
unless there's a pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow.
Just pointing that out.
- Still, it doesn't matter.
I'm your client and
you work for me.
- Not till I take
your money, I don't.
I'm walking at 6:30,
money or not, got me?
6:21, plenty of time.
- And I prefer not to spend
it in this shithole diner.
- Sorry for the delay.
I was a little tied up.
You guys ready to order?
- Not hungry.
- We're gonna be open
for a little bit,
in case you change your mind.
- It's okay.
I suspect I'll be
leaving pretty soon.
- And you?
- Maybe later.
- Maybe later, then.
- I'm gonna head to the
little girls' room, okay?
- Good, get lost.
- You got this.
You're fronting the money,
you're taking the risk.
We're doing things my way.
I'm not gonna let
you push me around.
My money, my deal.
I demand a better deal.
I'm getting a better deal.
- Thought you fell in.
- New price, 10 grand, and
it's not up for discussion.
- What the hell
happened in there?
- I think it's fair.
- And this is your expert
opinion about these matters?
- I know what's right is right.
- There you go waving
that word around again.
- I gave you a chance
to do the right thing.
You didn't, now I have to.
- You wouldn't the right thing
if some fellow stuck
it in your G-string.
- Been checking on me?
- Hey, I don't judge.
- Can we turn on the
AC in here, please?
- It's busted.
- Of course it is.
- What?
Can't take the heat?
- What do you do with
the money anyways?
You stack it in a
safe or something?
Hang on to it for a rainy day?
- Why are you having
me waste your beloved?
- The dude is fucking cuckoo.
- Guys are simple.
I had this job a
couple years back.
Guy wanted me to
take out his wife.
You know, whatever, standard
job, get it all the time.
This bald, lanky, Coke-bottle
glasses wearing motherfucker
would spend his whole
day sitting on his ass
playing computer games.
His wife was an
obstetrician, pretty gal.
Never made the runway,
but from what I hear,
her IQ is the 4th percentile.
She would have been going
places, not for that long.
So one day they
have an argument.
One thing leads to another
and she put the proverbial
gun to his head and says,
"You got two choices,
get a job or get out."
So, he gave me a call.
- Did you do it?
- Didn't have to.
The guy up and keeled over
the day before we
were supposed to meet.
Pulmonary embolism.
Turns out you can only sit
on your ass for so long
before life catches up with you.
- And why are you
so happy about it?
The guy died.
- Two reasons, his
death was no big loss,
and his wife kept up
her end of the bargain.
To death do them part.
I still keep tabs on
her from time to time.
She's doing better.
- Would you have done it?
- If he hadn't curled?
I think about that sometimes.
- What's your family
think of what you do?
They must be so proud.
- A lot of people
hate their jobs.
But they still do them.
I'm no different.
- He's here.
- He's not here until he's here.
Three.
Two.
Nah, you know what?
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't care.
Go ahead, Romeo, scratch away.
- Nothing.
- I'm gonna consider
this a victory.
It's been a pleasure.
It hasn't.
- We're not done yet.
- You're entitled
to your opinion.
- Thank you, Jason.
- I like your lap dog.
He knows when to
keep his mouth shut.
- This is a big operation.
I don't know what
to tell you, Randy,
but we don't exactly need
Santas after Christmas.
- It's Randall.
Don't call me Randy.
And yeah, I get it,
but come on, Barrett.
- Look, I like
you, I always have.
But revenues are down.
You know if I had something
it would be yours,
you know that.
But there's no money.
No money, no jobs.
- I appreciate that, but--
- No buts.
That's it.
Look, if anything opens up,
you're at the top of my list.
Till then.
- So where does that leave me?
- Somewhere else.
- You know, I just,
I don't accept that.
I will do anything, anything.
I'll pick up garbage
with a pointy stick.
- Hey, I had to let go of
three maintenance workers
just last week.
- Do you remember that story
on the news a while back
about the, I don't
know, it was like,
78 people stood in line all day
for a temp job washing dishes?
- Yeah, sure.
- Guys with degrees got
passed over for that.
What chance do I have out there
with things like that going on?
- I couldn't tell ya.
But you're resourceful.
I have faith in ya.
- I can't buy food
with faith, Barrett.
- Yeah, I know.
- Fine.
I'll just knock off
a bank or something,
maybe that will keep my family
fed for a couple of weeks.
- Don't talk like that.
You don't mean that.
It's counterproductive.
You're a good man, you work
hard, you'll find a job.
- We'll see.
- Yeah, it's Barrett.
Hey, hon, no.
Yeah, no, no.
That's fine.
Yeah, no, nothing
really that important.
Hold on a sec.
Hey, just bring that outfit
back when you get a chance,
all right?
No rush, Randy.
Mm-hmm.
- You never agreed
to my condition.
- Still sore over that?
- If you're not doing
it, hand over my bag.
- Yours?
Shit!
You are delusional.
What constitutes yours?
I want this, so it's mine.
Why did he not go
over to get it anyway?
'Cause he sure as fuck
didn't scrape it together
by his lonesome.
- Couldn't tell ya.
- Sure, just like you
don't know whether or not
you're gonna dump
your little boy toy
the second you get all
your dead bull's money.
- You're so clever, aren't you?
- See you in Lyon, I'll
bring the croissants.
- The bag stays.
- You realize there's
no going back now.
- Change the price.
- All right, 10 grand.
- Good.
I'd ask you to shake on it,
but I know how
you feel about it.
Here's to hoping we
never speak again.
- De gratia.
- Hey.
So, get any good shots?
- Couple.
- They're gonna
make you rich and famous?
- I doubt I'll be
as famous as Avedon,
but it's an interesting hobby.
- Randy!
Don't!
Dry cleaning!
- Don't call me Randy!
- I was serious, man!
You mess that up, I'll have to
send you the bill, all right?
- You know what?
You don't like what I'm doing
to your precious
little fucking outfit?
Then you go ahead and bill me.
You bought it on clearance
at Sears, fake fucking suit!
Don't look at me that way!
- Merry fucking Christmas!
What is it about
this time of year
Keeps us so happy
and on a cheer
Wherever you go
there's people smiling
'Cause it's Christmastime
And we're feeling fine
Share a little
bit of magic with me
Whistle throughout the land
Christmas is a time
when the love light shines
Go on and build
that big snowman
Share a little
bit of magic with me
Whistle throughout the land
Christmas is a time
when the love light shines
Watching the snow
flakes melt in my hand
What is it about
this time of year
The firelight
warms away our fears
Sharing the songs
that ring inside us
'Cause it's Christmastime
And we're feeling fine
Share a little
bit of magic with me
Whistle throughout the land
- So your lady friend
is running late, huh?
- Yeah.
Hoping she doesn't show.
- Nervous about it?
- Can I get a glass
of orange juice?
- Sure.
I hope you don't mind me
prying, it's just my nature.
Christmas is a time
when the love light shines
Watching the snow
flakes melt in my hand
- You're a little early, Santa.
- Any chance you're hiring?
- Mm, no.
- Ever?
- Times are tough, but
I can see what I can do.
Don't run off with that
pen, that's my favorite.
You okay?
I mean, for real?
- Sure.
It's just been a
tough couple weeks.
- Yeah, I hear ya.
Well, don't rush,
take your time.
- Yeah, people keep
telling me that.
- Telling you what?
- Never mind.
- Okay.
I'll be damned if
I'm gonna let Santa
walk into my diner
on Christmas Eve
looking like he just got a
lump of coal in his stocking.
- It's really not necessary.
- Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
I'll leave you to do that.
- Yeah.
- Where are you?
- I just had
to make a quick stop.
- You're not at the?
Randy?
- No.
No, of course not.
- You swear?
- I am not drinking.
I swear on my goddamn life,
I swear on Abby's life.
- Randy, don't blaspheme,
you know better.
- I know, I know, I'm sorry.
- How did it go with Barrett?
- Well, I
mean, best case scenario
I'm gonna be the Easter Bunny.
- April?
- Yeah,
last time I checked.
- So?
- So, I'm trying.
It's gonna take some time.
- Then try harder.
- Kasey, I know, okay?
Look, I'll be home soon, okay?
- All right, bye.
- My condolences.
That sounded rough.
- Yeah, I bet.
- Hey, it's Christmas.
Everybody is miserable
at Christmas.
- Tell me about it.
You're welcome.
- Mommy, can I talk to Daddy?
- Sure, baby.
- Yeah.
- It's me again.
- Yeah, what's up?
- Abby wants
to talk to you.
- Just tell her I'll
be home in a few.
Kasey?
- Hi, Daddy.
- Oh, hey, kiddo.
Merry almost Christmas.
- When are you coming home?
- I'll be home in a little bit.
- Can you come home now?
- Oh, you know what,
honey, I can't right now.
I got something
I gotta do first.
- After?
- Yeah, definitely, definitely.
So, you excited
for Santa to come?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
You think he's gonna
bring you something good?
- I don't think so.
- Oh, why not?
You've been a good girl
all year, haven't you?
- Does Santa ever bring money?
- Money?
Why would you want money
over some awesome toys?
I mean, that's just
nonsense, baby.
- I want money so
we can pay doctors
so they can make me all better.
- Abby, I want you to listen
to me very carefully, okay?
Your mommy and me, we got
all that worked out, okay?
I mean, you don't have to
worry about any of that.
Whatever it takes, we're
gonna take care of you,
you hear me?
Whatever it takes.
Now, what do you wanna do
about supper tonight, mm?
We can go anywhere
you want, anywhere.
- Maggie's, I want
mashed potatoes.
- Mashed potatoes,
yes, then that's it,
that's what we'll
do, Maggie's, yeah.
Hey, honey, will you put
your mom back on, please?
- Okay, Daddy.
- Yeah.
- What the hell was that about?
- Gimme one sec, okay?
Honey, why don't you
go get ready, okay?
So we can leave.
- Kase?
- Yeah, I'm here.
- How does she know about that?
- I don't know,
she must have overheard us
at the appointment today.
- But you
reassured her, right?
- Yep, I lied.
- Hey, hey, it's not
lying, you hear me?
It's not lying, everything
is gonna be okay.
- How can you say that?
- Okay,
just hang on a second.
Let me get off the road.
Okay, there we go.
But listen, I mean it,
everything's gonna fine.
- Fine?
We don't have money coming
in for months, Randy.
- Look, there's still a
lot of places out there
that are hiring.
- As a burger flipper
making two bucks an hour?
- As opposed to what, huh?
You think I was rolling in
cash playing Santa for a month?
- Well, no.
Where are you now?
- Just outside
some liquor store.
- What?
What the hell are
you doing there?
- I think I got a way
for us to get some money
for Abby's treatment.
I just gotta make it
through the holidays
and we can talk
about it later, okay?
Watch Movies and Series Free!
- All right.
Are you gonna meet us there?
- At Maggie's, yeah.
I'll be there in
10 or 15 minutes.
- All right.
I love you.
Bye.
- Hey.
- Drop the weapon!
- Down now!
- Drop the weapon!
Put your hands up!
- Hands up!
- Let me see your hands!
Let me see your hands!
Hands behind your head!
- Hey, hey, it wasn't me.
- Watch the gun.
- It's not mine,
there was a guy.
- Yeah, yeah,
right, shut the hell up.
- No, I'm telling
you, there was a guy.
He was robbing the store.
- Yes, there is, yes, he was.
Hand behind your
back, there we go.
Hold right there,
don't you fucking move.
All right, you got the gun?
- Got it.
- Good, stand up.
- It wasn't me.
- You got a name?
- Yeah, Randall.
Randall Edwards, but
you got the wrong guy.
I swear I wasn't robbing
the goddamn store.
- Yeah, just like it
wasn't your goddamn gun.
- It's not, I don't
even believe in them.
Listen to me, there was a guy
who tear-assed outta here,
and I heard three shots.
- Watch your head.
- Listen to me.
There was one, and then
there was two back to back
and then he came
out and took off
and then you guys showed up.
- You got a description
of this guy?
- Yeah, he's a white
guy, kinda young,
and he's wearing
a Santa suit also.
- So you're saying that
two guys in Santa suits
just happened to be at the
same store at the same time?
- It's Christmas.
- Look, Randall, you're under
arrest for armed robbery.
You have the right
to remain silent.
Anything you say can
and will be used--
- Just stop.
- Excuse me?
- Don't bother, man.
- So, let's be clear.
You're waiving your
Miranda rights, right?
- Yeah, just please stop.
- Okay, Randy, listen,
if we dust that gun,
whose prints are
gonna come back?
- Mine, let me explain.
He came out of the
store and dropped it.
I accidentally picked it up.
- You accidentally picked it up?
Get the fuck outta here.
You know, if you
make this easy on me,
I'll make it easy on you.
- James.
- Yeah.
- Clerk's down.
She's already gone,
I called it in.
- You get a name?
- Heather Harrington.
- Was that you, Randy?
I got an alarm, I got a
gun, I got a dead woman,
and I got you, look
at me, goddammit!
And you're telling me this
was some other Santa Claus
and some astrological event
happened or something like that.
You wanna try me again, Randy?
- Don't call me Randy.
- All right, whatever.
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- How's your day?
- Interesting.
- Ha.
- Where's Homicide?
- They're dragging ass as usual.
So, here's what we got:
Santa Claus there
is your trigger man.
his real name is
Randall Edwards.
The clerk is, was Heather
Harrington, she's DOA.
Ambulance is in route, there's
no sign of the money yet
and this one was a silent alarm.
- Just another
Christmas Eve, huh?
- Bad day?
- Huh?
- Normally, when I get
guys in here on Christmas,
it's not 'cause they're
having a good day,
you know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah, just
one of those days.
- Maybe you're looking
for a little pick-me-up?
Not like that, you perv.
- No, no, I'm okay.
- Come on, it's on me.
Unless you wanna keep
being a sad sack,
but to tell you the truth,
I'm gonna try and polish
off this bottle myself, so.
Don't even worry about it,
it hasn't worked in years.
You're not much of
a drinker, are you?
- Not really.
- The second one always
goes down easier.
Is that your girlfriend?
- How'd you know?
- Don't you know?
We all got intuition
about these things.
- Yeah, she said
something like that.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm guessing the love boat
is sinking, though, right?
- Why would you say that?
- Well, you're here.
- Yeah.
She kinda asked me to.
- Mm, it's my kinda girl.
You wanna hook me
up with her digits?
- You ever, uh.
I mean.
You love someone
but you hate how
they make you feel.
- So why stay with them?
Look, no, no, no.
I'm the worst person you
should ask to for advice.
I mean, my last boyfriend
was like a serial cheater.
And I ain't got no family,
except for my sister,
but I haven't talked
to her in years.
- Okay, well, let's just
say for argument sake
that's all moot.
- All right, so if she's
more of a ball and chain
than she is a magnet,
just dump her.
I mean, unless you're Hindu,
you only got one shot at life,
so why spend it with someone
who makes you feel like shit,
you know?
- Because I love her.
- Look, you ain't got to
tell me that, all right?
If you love her, make
sure you show her,
show her how you feel.
Don't just recite the words.
Just don't become a
slave to her is all.
- Thanks for the pep talk.
- Heather.
- Yeah, yeah.
I got that from your name tag.
- I'm John.
- John?
Okay, John, you don't
have to lie to me, John.
I don't judge.
- What do you mean?
- Shh, intuition, remember?
All right, so, it's gonna be
13.95, John.
Don't be a stranger, John.
- Could I get a lottery ticket?
- Yeah, you want
a nice purple one?
- Yeah, whatever is cheapest.
- Okay, so.
What are you doing?
- I'm sorry, I need the money.
- All right--
- Okay, shut up, okay?
Just do it.
- And we'll both just pretend
like this never happened,
all right?
- Look, shut up.
- You don't have to do--
- Just shut up, okay?
- Please.
- As soon as I get the
money, I'm outta here.
- No, no, no, that's not enough.
I need at least three
grand from that safe.
- We don't even keep
that much in here.
- Well, then give
me what you do have.
- Why you doing this, all right?
- It doesn't matter.
- It does matter because
you could just walk away.
- No, I can't.
I love her.
- She's making you do this?
- Stop fucking stalling.
- I don't know why you
just don't go to the cops.
I mean, she's obviously
blackmailing you, right?
- Oh, no, fuck!
I'm sorry, no, no, no.
Stay with me.
Stay with me, come on!
I'm so sorry!
No!
Fuck!
Goddammit!
- Hey.
- Nah, you know what?
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't care.
Go ahead, Romeo, scratch away.
- Nothing.
- I'm gonna consider
this a victory.
It's been a pleasure.
It hasn't.
- We're not done yet.
- You're entitled
to your opinion.
- Thank you, Jason.
- I like your lap dog.
He knows when to
keep his mouth shut.
- Come on, Davy.
You can dig better than that.
Come on, faster!
Dig, motherfucker, come on!
Holy Night
Dig that hole, move, move!
See, that's what you get for
not wanting to chop her up.
Now you gotta dig a bigger hole.
All is bright
Round yon Virgin
Mother and Child
- Santa!
- Hey, kiddo, Merry Christmas!
- Mom, he called me kiddo
just like Daddy does.
- I heard him, baby.
- Are you really Santa?
You don't look like him.
- I don't?
Why do you say that?
- You just don't.
- Abby.
- Huh, I kinda like that.
You got me, I'm not Santa.
But you've seen a lot of
Santas around town, right?
Stores, malls, stuff
like that, right?
- My daddy does that.
- Yes, he does.
- Yeah, Santa Claus, right?
He's awesome, he's magical
and shit, I mean, stuff.
But let's face it, Santa Claus,
he can't be at all
places at all times.
So he needs helpers.
Like your daddy and me.
- You know what I
want for Christmas?
- I couldn't tell you,
but if you tell me,
I'll make sure the big guy
gets the memo, okay, Abby?
- Mommy, he knows my name!
- He does.
- Go ahead.
- Well, Santa's got his
work cut out for him.
But I'll make sure Santa Claus
knows to do his best, okay?
- Okay.
- Abby, why don't you go
inside, get us a table?
I'm gonna have a little talk
here with Santa's helper, okay?
- Okay, Mommy.
- Hey, look.
I'm sorry if I got too close.
- No, you seem good with kids.
- How long has
your daughter been?
- Sick?
Four months, this time.
- It's nothing to
be ashamed about.
I understand.
- No, you don't understand.
And I praise God every
single day for each person
who doesn't understand.
- How much does all
that medical stuff cost?
- Too much.
I should get going, she's
probably looking for me, so.
- Wait.
Take this.
Just take it.
- I can't take this from you.
- I don't want it.
- Why?
- It doesn't matter, okay?
Just make sure--
- It's $250,000!
- Just make sure that you
help your kid with that.
- Mom, when are you coming?
- I'm coming, baby,
I'm coming, Abby.
I'll be right there.
I don't know what to give you.
I don't know, I have
nothing to give you but this
and you need to take this.
It's what's right.
Merry Christmas.
- You know what your daughter
wanted for Christmas?
She said she just
wants to be normal
like all the other kids.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Silent Night
Holy Night
All is calm
All is bright
- Oh my god.
Is he?
- Call 911.
Call 911.
- Dissing my car.
- Would I.
- You wanna kill me?
Okay, let's go.
- Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
- Merry Christmas, girls.
Mashed potatoes?
And chicken pot pie.
- Do you know of a man, came
in here in the last hour or so?
- Well, I've had
my share tonight.
What's your type?
- Mid-40s, a big haggard.
- Dressed like Santa Claus?
- That's him.
- Yeah, he was in
right before six,
he asked for a job application
and then he just took off.
Oh, you know what,
he did leave this behind.
- He just left it?
- Yep.
Enjoy.
- Good morning, ma'am.
I'm sorry, I'm afraid
I have some bad news
regarding your husband.
- No, no.
- Some details are
being released.
Except that the prime suspect
in the Magnolia
Liquor Store robbery,
Randall Edwards, a
47-year-old Glendale resident,
has reportedly committed
suicide while in police custody.
Officials are not releasing
any further information
at this time.
Reporting from North
Hollywood, I'm Nick Sanchez.
- What seems to have originated
with a botched robbery
and the murder of a clerk
here at Magnolia Liquor
at Hollywood Boulevard.
The clerk, Heather Harrington,
was pronounced
dead at the scene.
And the authorities suggest
that the perpetrator
was actively involved in the
death of Officer DeJesus.
Silent Night
Holy Night
All is calm
All is bright
- When did you take those?
- I took them last night.
Isn't that something?
Santa came early.
Here, I thought you
weren't the intimate type.
Is this one of those
it's-not-me-it's-you things
or it's-not-you-it's-me things,
whatever the fuck it is?
- How could you do that?
- How could I?
How could I?
I'm so glad you asked me that.
I mean, while you were
kissing him in the dark,
I had to open the
aperture to an f-3.5.
The ISO was a bitch.
- David.
- But I got there--
- David, stop!
- When I told you I loved
you, it wasn't bullshit.
But you never loved me, did you?
Did you?
- Of course I did.
- Past tense.
- I still do.
- Get your hands off me.
I can't, I can't, I can't.
- David.
- Home free.
- Think I could get
a lottery ticket?
- Yeah, you want
a nice purple one?
- Yeah, whatever is cheapest.
- Okay, so.
What are you doing?
- I'm sorry, I need the money.
- All right--
- Okay, shut up, okay?
Just do it.
- And we'll both just pretend
like this never happened,
all right?
- Look, shut up.
- You don't have to do--
- Just shut up, okay?
Just do it, please.
- All right.
You know, you don't have
to do this, all right?
You can just put the gun down
and we'll both pretend
like this never happened.
Please.
- I thought you said you
were gonna be busy with work.
- It's Christmas Eve.
The kids couldn't
wait up for you.
- I can see that.
Merry Christmas, baby.
- Merry Christmas
to you, sweetheart.
He wanted to see you
just one last time.
Is this about Dad?
Is that the same tree?
- You
didn't even ask about him.
You just want me to say
that I was wrong.
- There's
nothing I want from you.
- I
might propose to her.
- A girl?
Is that why you
stopped by, to tell me?
We can fix this.
No, Chris, wait!
- Is that the same tree?
First grade.
Mom, I'm sorry.
It's another sunny
Christmas in LA
It's another sunny
Christmas in LA
There's a traffic jam
On the 101
And the weatherman says
Sun, sun, sun
I miss icicles and
snowballs now and then
But I've got Mickey Mouse
And low gas bills for my house
Yeah most of all
I've got my friends
It's another sunny
Christmas in LA
That's all right, that's okay
Santa is coming here anyway
On a big red motorcycle
Who needs a sleigh
Santa's coming anyway
There's some smoke above
From a chimney top
Wait a minute, no
That's just a lot of smog
But I'm so happy to be
here this time of year
I won't cry and I won't pout
'Cause I've got friends
and I'm hanging out
And my heart
Is full of love and good cheer
It's another sunny
Christmas in LA
That's all right, that's okay
Santa is coming here anyway
On a big red motorcycle
Who needs a sleigh
Santa's coming anyway
'Cause it's Christmas in LA
It's another sunny
Christmas in LA
That's all right, that's okay
Santa is coming here anyway
On a big red motorcycle
Who needs a sleigh
Santa's coming anyway
'Cause it's Christmas in LA
Santa's coming anyway
'Cause it's Christmas in LA
Yeah