Christmas Wedding Planner (2017) Movie Script

I'm in the business of love.
Which is a pretty good business
when you think about it.
Bright-eyed couples, gushing with hope,
come to me because they've found someone
who makes them so happy
that they've decided to spend
the rest of their lives together.
And it's my duty as a wedding planner
to make their wedding days
even more wonderful
than they could have imagined.
Currently, I am planning my cousin Emily's
Christmas Eve wedding,
and as you can see,
the stress meter has passed a thousand.
That's... that's not me.
That's me.
Sorry. I...
My purse broke, and I'm already late.
You don't care.
- Why am I telling you?
- No.
And this is how I started
planning the most insane wedding ever.
Just some minor mishaps. Explain later.
Just picking up the final touch
to make this morning perfect.
I'll admit, this is my first real wedding,
and I need to avoid all distractions.
- You...
- Sorry. What?
Are you OK?
Yes. Sorry, it was my fault.
I should have been paying attention
to where I was going.
After you.
Hi there. Welcome to Cheery Beans
where our coffee
will leave you with a smile.
May I get you one of our seasonal coffees?
After you. It's the least I can do.
You sure?
- Yup.
- Thanks.
- Hey there.
- Welcome to Cheery Beans
where our coffee
will leave you with a smile.
May I get you
one of our seasonal delights?
You got to say that every time, huh?
OK. Yeah, I'll get twelve coffees,
cream and sugar on the side,
twelve muffins and one of your
famous blueberry scones.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What do you think
about a snowflake ice sculpture?
That goes with my whole
Winter Bliss theme, right?
Yeah, I can look into it.
OK, yeah, and see if they make silver ice.
OK, I'll talk to you later.
I'm hearing talk of ice sculptures.
We are not hosting a wedding
on a cruise ship.
Please see that this does not happen.
OK, no problem.
OK, see you later. OK, bye.
Now, don't you try
and drink all these yourself.
I'll try not to.
Thanks, pal.
Thanks for letting me go ahead.
No problem.
- Hi...
- Welcome to Cheery Beans
where our coffee will leave you with...
It's... It's OK, I was here
the first two times you said it.
Can I please have one blueberry scone?
I'm so sorry.
I just sold the last one
to that handsome gentleman.
What? Really?
We have a delicious cheddar and chive
or a seasonal white chocolate
and cranberry.
You don't understand.
I need a blueberry scone.
I can get you a blueberry muffin?
I am a fierce warrior.
Hi. Excuse me.
I was over there and I was trying to buy
one of the blueberry scones...
They make the best in town.
Yeah, right,
except you bought the last one.
OK, see, it's... its not for me.
And a therapist might say that
I'm, trying to buy someone's love,
which may or may not be true.
Either way...
I need that scone
and I would love to buy it from you,
and I will pay you double.
You know, I'm really sorry. I can't.
Not possible.
I will give you...
seven dollars and this... gift card
to, I don't know where.
But, yeah, you can have the money
and the mystery card for the scone.
What do you say?
I really wish I could. I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
I have a plain scone
and blueberries from my lunch.
I'm well on my way
to destroying my business
before it even starts.
Step one,
arrive late at an engagement party
that I am throwing.
Step two,
do not acquire a blueberry scone
for sucking up.
Step three, fail miserably, buy cats,
spend the rest of my life
shopping from television
in middle of the night.
Here goes everything.
Love you muchly.
Kelsey! Kelsey!
My cousin Emily.
The sweetest woman on the planet,
and the closest thing
I've ever had to a sister.
Stunning, rich and oozing kindness.
I should probably hate her,
but... it's impossible.
- Emily, you look incredible!
- Thank you.
- Why are we whispering?
- Because no one's seen me yet
and I want to make an entrance.
Go in and announce me.
You're so funny. OK, go in there and wait.
OK. Quick!
Hello, Aunt Olivia. Sorry, I'm late.
Tardiness does not suit a new business.
Aunt Olivia.
The very definition of rich and powerful.
And the closest thing
I have to a role model.
I know, I'm... I'm sorry.
My purse broke on me,
and then I tried to get you
the blueberry scone...
Nobody appreciates the charming tales
of your mishaps more than I do,
but it is time to greet our guests.
Absolutely, I agree.
And I assume everything else is in order?
One hundred percent.
The dress fitting
is scheduled for Tuesday.
We are set to bake the cookie giveaway
with my friend Sharl, the baker.
I am prepping for the bachelorette party
and I'm finalizing
with the caterer on Sunday.
- Well done, Kelsey.
- Thank you.
I took the liberty
of inviting Marianne Kemp
to do a piece on Emily's wedding.
And despite my distaste for the woman,
if you impress her, it's safe to say
that your business will flourish.
Thank you.
That is, that's so nice of you.
And I promise I won't disappoint you.
You never do.
The rare Aunt Olivia compliment.
Except for that blueberry scone.
- There it goes.
- Thank you.
I tried to get...
Luckily, someone else brought one.
This looks so great.
Hello, everyone.
I would like to thank you all
for joining us this morning.
We will be making a formal announcement
in a little bit, but for now
I would like to present to you,
the bride-to-be, Miss Emily Wilson.
Thank you for that, Kelsey.
It was so kind and unexpected.
How was the scone?
It wasn't for me.
It's her favorite.
Is that some sort of lucky guess?
No, I did my research.
It's part of my job, Kelsey.
So you knew who I was?
Well, not for sure.
I, I saw some pictures. Old ones.
What did you say your name was again?
I didn't.
- Emily, you look incredible.
- Hi.
Please, I completely forgot
this was happening today.
So you two have met?
Yeah. Yeah, we met this morning
at the coffee shop.
She has seven dollars.
Yes, I do.
Kelsey. A moment.
Excuse me.
So... this is happening.
I want to introduce you to Marianne Kemp.
She is the chief editor
of Wedding DuJour
Pleasure to meet you.
Kelsey is quite a firecracker.
She just started her own
wedding planning business
and she is doing Emily's wedding.
You're a very brave entrepreneur.
Throwing your first wedding
for your own family.
You're gonna need a lot of luck.
Well, I believe the harder I work,
the luckier I'll be.
That's the small business spirit
I like to see.
Now, Olivia told me that the ceremony
is gonna be quite exclusive.
Yes, immediate family only.
Followed by a grand reception.
Tell me you have a great photographer.
Only the best.
Talented, artistic
and a very impressive portfolio.
Do I know him?
So give me the photos
as soon as the wedding is over,
and an interview with the bride and groom,
and I'll see what I can do.
Well, you handled that very well.
- Thank you.
- But can you handle that?
- Who is he?
- That, my dear,
is the greatest threat to your business.
How so?
Connor McClane.
- Em, Emily's ex, Connor McClane?
- One and only.
Why is he here?
Didn't he... break her heart or something?
Well, you could say that.
Well, he could be planning to
ruin Emily's wedding, or your company,
or to steal all of our family money.
I wouldn't put anything past him.
Better take care of that.
I'm on it.
I am a fierce warrior!
- I'd like a...
- One second.
I will be a polite fierce warrior
and wait until he's finished talking.
And before I knew it, I'd lost my pants.
That's so funny.
One sec.
Sorry about that, Kelsey.
What were you saying?
I'd like you to leave.
Sorry, what?
Yeah, you can't just storm in here
and then try to ruin
Emily's perfect Christmas Eve
dream wedding
- and then crush her heart again.
- Whoa, hold on, hold on.
I'm not gonna crush her heart.
We're friends now, OK?
I just got into town
and she invited me over for an eggnog.
This conversation is not over.
I would like to thank you all
for joining us today
in the celebration
of my daughter Emily's engagement
to her charming fianc Todd.
Todd Brannigan,
the definition of charm.
They met when Emily volunteered
for his charity.
Seems like a nice guy.
He is.
I only wish that, my husband Albert
were here today to, celebrate with us.
But I am sure that he would be
pleased to see all of your kind faces.
So join me in a toast
to Emily and to Todd.
Look, honestly,
you have nothing to worry about
when it comes to Emily and I. I promise.
Good to know.
But, I can't promise
their wedding won't be ruined.
Ooh. Great party.
Wait, what?
- Hey!
- Excuse me.
Thank you.
All right. Thanks.
Hey! Wait a minute.
Sorry. I gotta go.
No, not so fast...
- Can I get your...
- No, thank you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
You can't just say you're here
to ruin a wedding and then just walk away.
But I just did.
You said you don't have feelings
for Emily.
I don't.
OK, then what is your problem?
You just don't want her to be happy?
Look, here's the deal, Kels.
- Can I call you Kels?
- No, you may not.
All right, the truth is,
I'm a private investigator.
I was hired to look into Todd.
That's why I'm here.
OK, who hired you?
Sorry, PI client privilege.
You expect me to believe
that some mysterious person
hired you to ruin this wedding.
Well, technically, to look into Todd.
But, ruining the wedding
is a potential outcome
if my client's suspicions are correct.
OK, well, then you're out of luck, Buck-O.
Tell me
I didn't just say "Buck-O"?
Because I know Todd,
and he is a great guy so...
Well, then you've got
nothing to worry about, right?
Yeah, I guess I don't.
You know...
if you want to make sure
the wedding goes off without a hitch,
you could always help me out.
We could be a team.
I'm not helping you.
All right.
Have it your way, Kels.
Just thought I'd offer an olive branch.
I'm sure I'll see you around.
And if you change your mind,
I'm gonna be at George's.
It's a little restaurant downtown.
I'm... I'm not going to change my mind.
- Cellphone chimes.
- Just an update.
Engagement party went well
despite a small hiccup
when Emily's ex showed up.
About to supervise
the wedding dress fitting.
Yes, it might cost more than my home.
Love you muchly.
- You made it.
- Yes.
And I brought the squad.
The honor can bring out the best
and worst in people.
The Jealous Bridesmaid.
Wishes it were her wedding,
describes everything as if it were hers.
Seriously, Em,
this is the exact same place
I was gonna buy my wedding dress.
Oh, well, great minds think alike.
We're just in here if you want to...
The Bitter bridesmaid.
Recently divorced
with bitterness still intact.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You know,
it's not too late.
We could still go to Fiji.
Girls only.
- Maybe.
- No, no Fiji.
We're just in there
if you want to just, go, go in there.
And of course, the lovely
but happens to be a Clumsy Bridesmaid.
- Hi.
- I'm sorry.
It's, it's icing.
I had a cupcake in the car.
It's... it's all good.
Don't worry about it.
My mom still wants me to wear
the Wilson dress.
How do I sugarcoat "ew"
so that I don't hurt her feelings?
Traditional, family dresses.
Mothers love them, brides hate them.
This one has been handed down
from a few generations
of Wilson women before us.
For anyone taking notes,
how you handle this situation
can define you as a wedding planner.
OK. Let me handle it.
I'll sugarcoat it without her knowing.
I'll say you still have that one
in mind but,
you're going to take this one
as an option for back up.
You're the best.
What did she say?
She said "That was so sugarcoated,
it gave me diabetes."
- I've got to take this so...
- Yeah.
- Yeah... go in there.
- OK, OK, yeah.
This is Kelsey.
Hey, Kels.
Give any more thought to my offer?
See, you make a great PI sidekick.
How did you get my...
Look, I'm pretty busy right now,
I don't, I don't have time for this...
Yeah, having the perfect dress
is important.
I just hope she gets to wear it.
Think about my offer.
- Is this everyone?
- Yeah.
So for my wedding I was thinking
of having a tropical theme.
Is that something you think you can do?
Yeah, of course. When's your wedding?
I don't have a date set yet.
Or a boyfriend.
But I will by December next year.
Don't you guys just love
Christmas weddings?
Hey, what about Connor?
I saw him at the party.
I mean, I know he's a little bit
of a ding-bat, but...
Does anybody know if he's single?
- Who's Connor?
- He's Emily's Ex.
Don't get me started on ex's.
Em met him on spring break.
When she introduced him
to Mama Olivia and Daddy Albert,
they did not approve, which of course,
only made Emily fall harder for him.
She talked about dropping out of school
and moving in with him and everything.
I didn't know they were that serious.
Well, they definitely were.
And one day out of the blue,
Connor made an exit.
No call, no text, no nothing.
Just gone.
Poor Emily.
Well, like the saying goes,
"Give a guy your heart,
and he'll make out with your sister
in the closet at a family reunion."
Is that Nietzsche?
Anyone want a cookie?
Oh, dear God.
- You guys ready?
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
OK, here it goes.
I think even your mom's gonna
forget about the Wilson dress.
So... we settled?
I love it.
Emily, you look beautiful.
Thank you.
And in the same dress
I wanted for my Christmas wedding.
You just have it all.
A little tight on the hug.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So pretty.
Thank you.
Don't come in. You can't see my dress.
I promise, I'm not here
to barge in on girl time.
Yeah, right.
OK, just a second.
Here, you go in the dressing room
and take this off,
and we'll go figure out what Todd wants.
Is it safe?
Yes, Todd.
So... how's everything going?
Great. Her dress is perfect.
Look, I'm not gonna stay,
I just thought I'd stop by with,
a little surprise
for all you lovely ladies.
- That's... You, Kels.
- Thank you.
- You want to hand them out?
- Yeah.
Yes, thank you, Todd. Very kind of you.
Don't be silly.
Anything to keep my girls happy.
- Can you make sure Em gets this?
- Yeah.
Let her know extra love.
OK, well, I'm running a little late.
I got to run.
- See you guys soon. Bye-bye.
- Bye.
I got to take this, it's the caterer.
Hi, Marco. How's everything going?
Look, is it going to kill me
to fly in those lobsters?
Whoa, whoa, slow down.
Why... Why are you...
Why are you crying?
- Stop. No.
- What's this?
What do you mean
you can't do the wedding?
I'm sorry that you and your wife
are breaking up
and a wedding would be
too hard for you but...
You can't do this.
You're cheating!
No, not you. Sorry.
Well, yeah, yeah, you.
We had a deal.
- That was really good.
- Thanks.
Find something you liked?
Maybe I should be asking
you that.
Yes. Emily loved the Stevenson dress.
So, is... is that a real Degas?
Yeah, actually we got this at...
Michelle, I love your place.
Thank you so much for all of your help.
My pleasure.
Hey, enough of the girly stuff.
Can we please plan
your bachelorette party?
Look, all I care about is that
I get to spend time with you girls.
The last thing I want is to be
is one of those women in T-shirts
acting like it's her last night on Earth.
- Oh, isn't that what we already...
- Oh, no, we don't.
Are those cookies from,
Sharl's bakery?
He's making Emily's wedding cake.
They sure are.
I pick them up fresh every morning.
Would you like one?
OK, maybe one.
Morning, Sharl.
I don't like this,
I don't like this at all.
Sharl, look, we went over this, OK?
It's gonna be fine.
And... I really
need your help on this one, OK.
And I will owe you big time.
I'm... I'm a terrible liar.
This isn't going to work.
But you're not lying.
But I already told Michelle
that she could pick up her cookies
from here instead of the bakery.
Why would I tell her to come here?
Why am I here?
Because you are giving Emily
and I a private baking lesson,
and, that's all true.
I suppose so but...
Just keep her here long enough
so she steps away from her bag,
I can do my thing and then you just,
just send her on her way, OK?
But my cookies, I...
Her cookies are ready now.
How do I tell her that her cookies
aren't ready when they are ready.
OK, I'm only doing this,
so you don't have to lie.
Wha... Wha, what?
What are you doing? Don't. No.
Sharl? Everything all right?
He's fine, just had a little
mishap with the ribbon.
She's going to be here in 10 minutes
and that's not enough time.
Want to make some gingerbread?
I'm ready.
All right.
Are you sure this is a good idea?
I'm going to be giving
my first ever attempt at gingerbread
to every guest at my wedding reception.
And the senator's going to be there.
Well, that will just make them
appreciate it more
because it came from you.
And besides, Sharl will be here
to make sure you don't make any mistakes.
Morning, Sharl. Sorry, I'm a little early.
Hi, Emily. And Kelsey, right?
Michelle, what a nice surprise.
Having a private class with Sharl?
He's the best, isn't he?
The best.
I'm so sorry, Michelle,
to make you come all the way down here
to pick up today's cookies.
I know how strange that must be for you.
Not really, you always have me come by
if you have a private class.
Like, last week, remember?
I suppose I do.
Well, your cookies
are just about ready and...
not, not ready, they're not, not ready.
Well, Michelle, why don't you just
take a walk or go freshen up or something
while you wait for the cookies.
I'm OK, thank you.
They look like
they're almost ready anyway.
No, no, no, no.
This flour
hasn't been sifted yet
and you cannot mix baking soda
with flour that hasn't been sifted yet,
and this bowl
is made for wet ingredients only.
What are you trying to do to me?
Michelle, I am so sorry,
it's just going to be a few more minutes.
No matter, I just have to call the shop
and make sure Kenda can open for me.
- No.
- Kelsey!
I'm so, I'm so sorry.
I'm so clumsy.
Why don't you go wash up
and I'll help Sharl clean this situation?
I would rather you didn't, thank you.
Please be harmless, please be harmless.
"Hey, gorgeous, thanks for the hook up.
Dinner on Wednesday at Turbo?"
Hey, sorry, I just, I just spilt flour
everywhere and I got some on your purse.
Thank you. You didn't have to do that.
You know what, Sharl,
I really have to get going.
Do you think
I could just take these as is?
- I think they look stunning.
- Actually, the ribbon hasn't really been
curled yet, so if...
I promise I won't let anyone see them.
Thank you.
Kelsey, never do that to me again.
Can we start cooking?
It's called baking, my dear, baking.
Now, gingerbread
is not your average cookie.
No, it holds a dark history
that you must understand
before you can create your own.
Now the...
The Armenian monk Gregory of Nicopolis
first brought gingerbread
to Europe in the year 992
but, this is where it get's interesting,
you see, gingerbread
is not a gingerbread cookie at all,
no, in fact,
it is a comestible sweet loaf.
OK, here are my terms.
I will help you look into Todd
and in return you will tell me everything.
No secrets. And if, and I stress "if,"
we find anything,
I will be the one to tell Emily, not you.
Yeah, that's so weird
because that was going to be
my speech to you, word for word.
- I knew this was a mistake.
- Relax, I was kidding.
Very well.
How do we start PI'ing?
Well, first we order a bite
because I'm starving,
and a lady has got to eat and...
this is the best food
you're ever going to have.
Let me order you something.
No, I am here on professional terms
and I can order my own food.
I only suggested it because
I've had pretty much everything here.
Well, how about I order your food for you.
Hey, hey, hey, Connor.
I didn't know you were having a date?
- Oh, no, it's not a date.
- It's not a date.
We're PI's.
OK, well, I will have
whatever you are making back there
that smells so fantastic,
and the gentleman will have...
the... lobster.
You OK with that?
Yeah, it's a professional meeting.
I like to be accommodating.
Professional, accommodating, you?
I'll just get your food.
OK, first thing's first.
Who hired you?
- Can't tell you.
- What? We just said no secrets.
PI Code of Conduct.
Anything else I'm an open book, OK?
So, what made you change your mind?
Well, if, if Todd isn't who he says he is,
then I want to help protect Emily.
You two are close, huh?
OK, well, what did you find?
He has some unpaid parking tickets,
stole a candy bar when he was nine.
I thought you were like,
good at your job or something.
Well, I guess not.
But I did find a few leads
that would suggest his family
is not as well off as they say they are.
Do you think he's after their money?
Yeah, it's a concern.
How not well off is he?
I'm thinking bankrupt, but...
I wouldn't know
unless I got into his father's computer.
You know, they're having a tree trimming
party tomorrow night at their house.
- I'm guessing you're invited, right?
- Yes, I helped plan it.
That's perfect
because I could go in there,
check out his finances, OK?
- What a perfect idea you just had.
- No!
OK, s... sure.
I'm just gonna waltz in there
with Emily's ex-boyfriend
and everything's gonna be fine,
no one's gonna be suspicious.
- And no one will...
- It's perfect.
It really is. Brilliant.
All right. I got the penne arrabiata
for the lovely lady,
and the fantastic... lobster for you.
Thank you. Best friend.
What are best friend's for.
This is incredible.
I know, I mean, I made it myself,
of course it's gotta be good.
I mean, hey, Italian. Italiano.
So good!
Yeah, but, really seriously,
that means a lot, thank you so much.
No, seriously, this is, amazing.
Have you ever considered
catering a wedding?
I've never done one,
but I'm sure I could.
I just have to talk to my partner.
Connor, what do you think?
Can we do a wedding?
Yeah, I don't see why not.
This is your place?
Pump the breaks, sister.
It's actually our place.
Don't get it twisted, OK.
Of course, he's the money,
I am the talent.
Of course the looks. The brains.
And also your server.
Just hire somebody already. OK?
Yeah. Enjoy your food. And I'll...
let you keep discussing your PI work
or whatever you're doing.
You look good in that shirt.
And by the way, enjoy the lobster.
Well, you are full of surprises.
One or two.
You're not eating?
I could, but I'm allergic
to shellfish, so if I do, I'll, I'll die.
I'm so sorry.
You want to, you want to switch?
Only if you want to keep me alive?
- OK, for now.
- OK.
Kelsey, my dear, I'm running
a little late to the party.
No problem, Aunt. Do you need me
to do anything for you?
Well, I'm trying to avoid
having to listen to Tim and Linda
talk about their boat
for as long as I can.
Will you make an excuse for me?
Consider it done.
Not even sure how to explain
what I'm about to do.
I'm waiting for someone,
who could potentially lead to the downfall
of my first wedding gig.
I send you this
to assure you that, as always,
I have no clue what I'm doing!
Love you muchly.
You're late.
Only if you're
looking at the clock.
No, please, after you.
Did you say something?
Come on.
- So where's the study?
- Upstairs. Why?
OK, well, I got to get on his computer.
Actually, I can make this work.
- Follow my lead.
- OK, no...
I would like to remind you that
I have an actual job
to take care of here.
Yeah, perfectly. You can do your little
job thing to distract them.
You seriously didn't just say
my little job thing?
- I did.
- Kelsey.
Glad you could make it.
Good afternoon, Mr. Brannigan.
You have a lovely home.
Well, it better be. Cost me a fortune.
Yes, sir...
- I'd like to introduce you to Connor.
- Kelsey's boyfriend.
- Nice to meet you.
- You as well.
Well, you have to forgive me.
We're a little understaffed at the moment.
I had to fire
some of the help for stealing.
The nerve of some people.
I know. Who can you trust these days, huh?
Excuse me.
Under staffed? This guy's broke.
- What?
- Boyfriend?
Yeah, I thought it would be the easiest.
Why, what was your cover?
I was going to say you were
catering the party, you know...
the truth.
That would have been good. Yeah.
Well, it looks like everyone's busy here.
Stand guard,
I'm gonna go search the house.
You remember Linda, my better half?
Hi. Yes, of course, hi.
What a beautiful party.
Nothing but the best for our Todd.
Have you been out to our boat?
I've been toying with the idea
of painting it again.
But really, the whole thing
was just so gauche.
I could do without it, honestly I could.
Do they take a cut of your tips?
I was asking what you think of the idea?
I, think it's a...
- wonderful idea.
- Splendid.
See, Kelsey agrees.
I'll sing for their first dance.
Audiences alike have said
I sound exactly like
Celine Dion.
Well, then we're all in for a treat.
I'm sure my aunt will love
your rendition of "My Heart Will Go On."
So they offered benefits?
No, they don't offer benefits.
How about maternity leave?
Who do I have to kill
to get a drink around here?
Oh, no. Oh, look, you. Ooh.
Oh, look, who I found.
Look, I was looking for you
for so long...
- Really?
- Yeah.
I should go.
Here's my card. Find me at George's.
We were just talking about weddings,
and, yeah, what does your
dream wedding look like?
Does my future husband own a law firm?
The answer's yes.
Theme is simple, ice.
Everyone's on skates.
Now I know what you're thinking,
where you gonna find a priest on skates?
Well, taken care of. Canada.
OK, don't let me stop you.
I'll be right back.
We can't be in here. Hurry up.
Come on, this is standard PI work.
Go watch the door
while I try to get his password.
Oh, crap.
He's got a lot of security on here.
Yeah, weird, how people like to
protect their financial information.
It's OK, I can make an educated guess.
And you know him, help me out here.
No, look, I... I barely know him.
Let's just get out of here
and we can figure something else out, OK?
It's not hard.
Guys like this always pick
something, arrogant.
Come on, think.
Is this normal?
Do you always breathe this
heavily when you do this kind of thing?
What am I doing? This is crazy.
Try, "Get it all."
That's it!
You should consider doing this full time.
OK, let's just take what we need
and get out of here.
OK, copying files now.
It should just take a minute.
Can you make it go faster?
- Really?
- No.
Hold on,
I have a bottle in my office.
That's bad.
What is this?
Mr. Bra... Brannigan.
I'm, I'm so sorry...
We were just trying to...
get away, find a quiet place to...
be alone.
You know how women get?
Got to keep them happy, huh?
That we do, my boy, that we do.
I'll, leave you to it.
- Thanks.
- Bye.
I know what that means.
Now, Kelsey,
tell me why we don't we push
little boys at the playground?
Because a Wilson is a Wilson
inside and outside the house.
Exactly. Good girl.
Now, Kelsey,
why don't we yell sexist pig
at our school principal?
Because a Wilson is a Wilson
inside and outside the house.
Exactly. Good girl.
what do we say about sneaking out
in the middle of the night with boys?
M... Make sure we shave our legs first?
Don't do that,
because a Wilson is a Wilson
inside and outside the house.
Exactly. Good girl.
I know, I'm late.
Well, I see you didn't bring
your newest accessory, Connor.
Is this what you call
keeping an eye on him?
Umm, sort of.
Well, you know you're a grown woman.
I trust you to make wise decisions.
You don't want to tell me
how disappointed you are?
Well, would it do any good?
We're not dating, it...
It's complicated,
and Mr. Brannigan just...
Well, my darling,
we all need to indulge our sweet tooth
every now and again.
But Connor McClane is trouble.
I know you think he is but...
he's actually, not that bad. And...
I promise, there's nothing
going on between us.
Are you trying to
convince me or yourself?
I have to go.
I have to get to Sharl's bakery.
I don't want to be late
for Emily's wedding cake tasting.
OK, well, don't let me dampen
your new found enthusiasm for punctuality.
- OK.
- OK.
Well, well.
Kels, you made it.
Wait until you taste
what Sharl made for us.
Honestly, it's garbage.
I'm just no good around the holidays.
I should be sentenced to fruitcake
for even letting you try it.
Sharl, it's incredible.
Here, try this.
This is honestly the best cake
I've ever tried.
I'm sorry, girls.
I'll find you a new baker.
No, you won't.
I love this and I love you. Thank you.
I can't watch. I'll leave you two be.
And, please give up on me.
And don't even try the lemon cake
because I used Eureka Lemons like a fool.
What was I thinking?
So, when were you going to
tell me about you and Connor?
Emily, I'm...
I'm so sorry.
For what? I want to hear everything.
You're not mad?
Why would I be mad?
Connor and I dated like 10 years ago.
Yeah, I just...
I thought he left you?
Kels, we were kids.
I mean, I will admit
it was strange seeing him again,
but when I saw him,
I didn't feel anything.
He heard I was getting married
and wanted to wish me well.
So, you're OK with all of this?
Wait, this? There is no this!
I'm about to marry the man of my dreams.
And my best friend
is helping that dream come true.
I'm always behind you, Kels. Always.
This is incredible.
I think I've found the one.
Hey, look, Eureka lemons and everything.
- I'll tell Sharl.
- OK.
There's my crafty PI partner.
- I'm out.
- What?
No, you aren't.
Yeah, this is a mistake, OK?
And don't tell me what I'm doing,
I know what I'm doing.
I don't even know why I agreed to this
in the first place, OK?
I love Emily and I never want to be a part
of something that will ruin her wedding.
Kelsey, come on.
Look, I know you think I'm dumb,
but I can see you're just using me
to get what you want.
When did I say you were dumb?
I know you're smart.
That's what I like about you.
And you got the thumb drive.
OK. Well.
I'm only sitting because I want to.
And because I want to know
what's on the thumb drive.
Did you find anything on it?
- No.
- Oh.
No, turns out they aren't broke.
But that doesn't mean
they aren't up to something no good.
Three days.
You come with me
and we're going to follow
Todd around for three days.
And if nothing comes up...
I'll call off my investigation
and I'll leave town.
Scout's honor.
That's not the Scout's sign.
Yeah, that's because I was never a Scout.
What do you say, deal?
Deal. Three days.
Well, I happen to know
where Todd's gonna be Wednesday night.
He is having dinner at Turbos.
We make a good team.
OK, well, I'll see you tomorrow.
You know, if you're worried
about him noticing you,
we can always stop
and get you more layers.
Too much?
Nah. Nah.
Not unless you don't want to breathe,
or see, or anything like that.
All right.
This truck is cold.
Whoa, I think we have something.
What's he doing?
He's giving money to charity.
What a jerk.
No, it's probably his guilt
eating him up.
It's transference. I see it all the time.
Woah, get down!
Come on, we got to follow him.
Be serious. Do your job.
OK, fine, get off me.
Woah. Woah, woah, woah,
we got something here, check this out.
Hi, guys.
I'm getting a little bit
of a first date vibe here.
Oh, no, this is, no, this...
uh, we work together,
but... thank you anyway.
Office romance.
No, not exactly.
We're not allowed to date here either.
Forbidden love.
This calls for a Shiraz.
I'll be right back.
So, it looks like
I'm a pseudo PI.
For what it's worth, I am good at it.
At least that's what
my partner keeps telling me.
Although this case seems like it's a bust.
Tonight's the last night.
I think this will be my first
and last job.
Signing off, Kelsey Gumshoe.
P.S. I gave myself an old school PI name.
Love you muchly.
Love you muchly?
You always read people's texts?
Bad habit I guess, comes with the job.
I didn't know you had a boyfriend.
I don't.
I was texting my mom.
I... I shouldn't pry.
She passed away a few years ago.
I'm sorry.
I like to still send her messages.
I even pay her phone bill.
Gee, that must sound really strange.
No, hey, we have to keep the people
we love close.
If that's how she stays with you,
then that's how she stays.
She was...
She was sick for a while.
Aunt Olivia moved us in with her
and helped take care of her.
She was actually pretty great.
And Uncle Albert?
Here we are.
Thank you.
He wasn't really around a lot,
he was traveling, and...
whenever he was home
I would always hear him and Aunt Olivia
arguing in the other room.
I think he thought of us
as more of a nuisance.
Yeah, sounds like him.
I don't think anyone is showing up.
We hit a dead end.
I think so too.
You want me to drive you home?
Here we are. Enjoy.
- OK.
- Wait, wait. What?
You're giving up, seriously?
Don't you have like a Plan B or something?
Well, he's not after her money.
I looked into his work.
I hate to admit it, but,
I think he might be all right.
Just when I was starting to enjoy myself.
A little bit.
That's funny.
You're not the pain in the butt
I thought you were going to be.
Excuse me?
Well, what, trying to buy my scone
with your mystery gift card.
And then stomping over in a huff
demanding I leave the party,
nose all cute and wrinkled.
I didn't demand, OK, I...
Not to mention the Brannigan's party,
where you practically attacked me.
Don't flatter yourself, OK. I was acting.
And you weren't really
a good kisser, so...
- Is that so?
- Yeah.
Well, I mean, I don't wanna,
I don't wanna hurt your feelings but...
Well, what if, what if we try again?
Maybe I can do better?
Well, if you want to try
and redeem yourself, I mean...
Michelle, good to see you.
How was the ride?
- Wh...
- What?
Here let me get that for you.
Is it still snowing out there?
That's the woman I saw
Todd flirting with at the dress store.
- Really?
- Yup.
Is that why you brought me here
because you didn't tell me
about that before?
No, of course I didn't.
You'd think he was like
cheating on her or something.
I am a fierce warrior.
I will tell him
what a no good cheat he is.
I might even throw a drink in his face
for dramatic effect.
Kels, what... what are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
You're engaged to my cousin,
and you're out here
on a romantic dinner date with this...
this... woman.
By the way, I'm not throwing you
anymore business.
Did you put her up to this?
Hey, don't look at him, OK?
I saw what you wrote in her book.
You went through my book?
I can't believe
you would do this to Emily, OK?
I'm telling her everything.
I was buying her dress.
Kels, it was suppose to be a surprise.
OK? That's why I stopped by
when you were there.
Michelle and I
have known each other for years, OK?
She set me up with a good deal
with the dress,
so I thought I'd take her out
for dinner to say thank you.
Her husband actually set this up.
He owns this restaurant.
Come on, let's just go. Come on.
Is this what you do, Connor?
You spend your whole life
trying to ruin Wilson women?
It was an honest mistake.
Kelsey and I
will let you finish your dinner.
I'm sorry.
Come on.
Just walk away, Connor.
I hear that's what you're best at.
Hey. Please.
I really am sorry.
Are you trying to ruin your whole life,
or just this job?
How long did it take you
to come up with that line?
Well, I had the basic line,
and then when Sharl came over
he helped me perfect it
when he delivered the cake.
So you brought me here
to kick me when I'm down?
No, of course not. I just wanted
to make sure if you were all right.
I'm so embarrassed.
Well, you can't expect yourself
to be perfect.
Does Emily want to kill me?
Lucky, I was able to convince Todd
that you were under the spell
of handsome green eyes
and had no idea what you were doing.
- She doesn't know?
- No. And she's not going to.
Todd agreed that we should
keep this between us,
and that we could possibly laugh
about it when we are older.
He really is a good guy.
I wish you didn't sound
so upset about that.
It's just... there's...
He's convincing.
Oh, come on, Kelsey.
I've raised you long enough
to know what your looks mean.
Even if you can't see
you've fallen for him.
I wish you could see what I see.
I know he's bull-headed,
but he's actually really sweet,
and kind and kinda cute...
- What is that?
- It's from a check
your Uncle Albert wrote
Christmas Eve 10 years ago.
- OK?
- To Connor.
- Why?
- To buy him off.
He said if he gave him the money,
he would go away
and never talk to Emily again.
So Emily woke up Christmas morning
and Connor was gone.
And Emily's heart was broken.
It doesn't make any sense.
I mean, that doesn't
sound like him at all.
This is from another check
that Albert wrote a few months ago
before he passed away.
Connor was facing him again for money.
That's why he's here.
Hey. So what do you think Todd
would like best as an apology?
I'm thinking of asking George
to make him a fruit basket.
Hey, look, I'm, I'm sorry.
I should have found out who she was
long before I put you in that situation.
All right, Kelsey, look, I can explain.
- Don't bother.
- I was, just...
I knew you were using me.
I'm such a fool.
- Listen...
- I really felt something for you.
And I thought that we had
something special, but I never
want to see you again.
- Please, Kelsey, let me explain, OK?
- No.
You know what the worst thing is,
I don't even hate you.
I hate myself for being so stupid!
I've spent
the better part of my life
wishing for a whirlwind romance.
And now I'll use the remainder...
wishing I hadn't.
I think I'm going to apply
for the serving position.
Well, you don't have the personality,
or the looks for this fine establishment.
I don't know what to do, George.
I didn't just blow this case,
but I dragged Kelsey right down into it.
Maybe there was nothing to find.
Yeah, either way she's never
gonna talk to me again.
Well, wasn't that the whole purpose,
I mean, you guys
were just "working together."
OK, you want me to say it?
I think she's incredible.
You know,
I... I can't stop thinking about her.
I couldn't even sleep last night
because I knew
I was gonna see her this morning.
I feel like I'm a kid at Christmas time.
You're so adorable.
Thanks, I appreciate that but...
if I can't figure out a way to fix this
I'm gonna be less adorable
and a lot more miserable.
Well, you already are miserable.
But listen, I'm here for you.
Anything you need, I got your back.
Can I give you some advice?
Just tell her the truth.
I know you taught me
to be strong, and I am.
Well, I'm trying.
If you were here, you'd say,
"Stupid men lose smart women."
And then you'd stroke my hair
until I fell asleep.
I have a big day tomorrow.
You have no idea how much I miss you.
Love you muchly.
Here you go.
Thank you.
OK. Hi, photographer. Hi.
You go to the front
and catch Emily's arrival.
These, we need more, so just
go get more and put them in the back.
OK. No, we need, this has five,
we need six on each, on each thing.
OK, cool, thanks.
Hey, everything all right?
Are you kidding? Look at this place.
It's like a Christmas dream come true.
What did you do, go through my diary?
No, I definitely didn't do that.
Of course you didn't.
Hey. I'll catch up to you.
What I did was awful
and I can't say sorry enough,
and I should have come to you sooner
to say thank you
for not telling Emily, and I...
I just wanted to say
you've done a great job.
It really looks like our dream wedding.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you, I'm... I'm glad you like it.
I guess I should get going.
Emily said if she sees me
before the ceremony, I'm dead.
- And I actually believe her.
- OK.
Well, she's a very lucky woman.
I'm the lucky one.
- See you soon.
- Bye.
Hey, George, perfect timing.
OK, I just got wind of two more
gluten, dairy,
carb-free dietary restrictions.
Well, good morning to you too, sunshine.
But that's something
that we won't be worrying about.
Well, it's certainly nice to hear
your cheery voice in the morning.
Well, I heard if you deliver bad news
as positively as possible,
the person takes it better.
How bad, George?
the freezer malfunctioned overnight bad.
Please say you're kidding.
You should really swing by.
Hey, do you know anyone we can call,
and is there a way we can make, like,
two hundred pizzas look fancy?
Please do me a favor.
Just do not kill me,
because it was actually his idea.
And everything is fine.
We actually ordered the food
and I got your non-GMO, the non-dairy,
and all that kind of nonsense
or whatever.
- George.
- You want me to go, OK.
Yeah, OK. Good luck.
So is this what you brought me here for?
Stand here awkwardly?
Sorry, you just...
- You look so beautiful.
- Don't, OK. You're not allowed.
You're right.
OK, look, I,
I just wanted to show you this,
and then, you know, you're free to go.
What am I looking at?
It's the deed to this restaurant.
George was going to lose this place
and I wanted to help him and his family.
So I took what I thought
was a loan from Emily's dad.
You seriously expect me to believe that?
It's the truth.
And then when I went back
to their house that...
He told me never to come back,
or else he'd tell Emily I blackmailed him.
Why didn't you just explain it to her?
Emily loved her dad.
All that would do...
would be to force her to choose,
and as much as I cared about her,
I didn't want to destroy a family.
What about the rest?
What rest?
Before my uncle died,
you extorted more money from him.
Are you gonna tell me
that was to buy an orphanage or something?
- Look that was something...
- Hey, you know what?
I really don't have time for this.
And I really don't want
to have time for this.
And I don't want you anymore.
But, Kel...
There you are. Where have you been?
Sorry, I'm late.
Connor tricked me into meeting with him.
That's it. I'm going to sucker punch
that man in the mouth.
While I appreciate the support,
it's OK, I took care of it.
Oh, no.
No, I didn't, didn't punch him.
I just told him that
I never want to see him again.
Well, in three hours, my dear,
your job will be done.
And we can drink all the wine
at the reception.
- Yes.
- Yes.
Sounds like a solid plan.
Sorry, we're closed.
Connor, right?
Sorry, who are you?
You said I could find you at George's.
Of course.
Please, after you.
OK, smile, you two.
Excuse me. Sorry.
Hello. Can I have a moment
with the parents of the groom?
Why, of course.
I don't normally give interviews,
but since it's Todd's big day...
Well, thank you.
Now I heard that there's gonna be
a surprise musical performance.
Can you speak to who that might be?
Hello, are you with the bride
or with the groom?
Hi. Hi.
I don't see a ring on your hand.
May I interest you
in the singles' section?
Please stand.
Please be seated.
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today,
to join Emily and Todd in holy matrimony.
I ask that if anybody here
knows any reason
they may not be married,
please speak now
or forever hold your peace.
Very well.
Todd Brannigan,
do you take Emily Wilson
to be your lawfully wedded wife...
Get him out of here.
Connor, go away.
Emily, he's no good for you.
Look, if you don't believe me,
believe her.
That's enough of this.
Get them out, both of them.
Let him go.
No, don't listen to her. Get them out.
Honestly, Tim,
this is a little big for you
to try to strong arm your way out of.
Emily, I'm sorry to do this to you.
Don't... Don't, don't listen to him.
Wait, just stop. Both of you.
- Who is this woman?
- I...
This is Veronica.
The Brannigan's former maid.
Tell me this isn't what it looks like.
I have no idea who that woman is.
I think a simple blood test
would prove that you do.
See, Veronica told Todd that he was
gonna be a daddy months ago.
Instead of buying books
and painting the nursery,
he decided to ignore her
and get married instead.
The Brannigans so generously
kept her employed
through the pregnancy.
Until they found out who the father was.
And then they did what any good
grandparents would do
and they fired her.
This isn't true. None of this is true.
Look me in the eye
and tell me this isn't true.
This is nothing.
Don't let her ruin us.
- What?
- Hey, hey, hey. Don't throw this...
- No!
- Emily, Emily, Emily...
Can't trust anyone these days,
right, Mr. Brannigan?
You're a dead man.
If I were you, I would stay focused
on taking care of that baby.
How stupid am I.
You're not stupid. At all.
You are the best person I know.
How did I not know?
You did everything right.
I was gonna be married.
I was gonna have kids.
I was even going to name one Kelsey.
You can still have all those things, OK?
Don't let one bad guy
change what you want.
What about you?
What are you going to do about Connor?
I have no idea.
We should just go to Mexico.
Ditch everyone.
I fully support that idea.
You did such a incredible job
with this wedding.
- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, don't you dare apologize, OK?
You are my sister.
I would do anything for you.
Thank you.
I'm going to leave you two alone to chat.
You'd better have the best
Christmas present ever for her.
Yes, Emily.
Your uncle.
That's who hired me.
Emily's Dad. Your Uncle Albert.
That's what the extra money was for.
So you weren't extorting him?
He called me, near the end.
He heard from one of his friends
that I was a PI.
He said that
something didn't feel right about Todd.
You might not know this,
but he was a bit of a control freak.
He hired me to look into Todd.
He said one dirtbag
would be best at finding another dirtbag.
I guess he was right?
You're not a dirtbag.
Most of the time.
I'm glad you don't think so.
Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.
It's OK. I understand why you didn't.
Kelsey, I love you.
What are you doing?
I love you.
OK, so that's what you're doing?
You're just gona walk over up to me
and say, "I love you," and then
everything's gonna be all right
and fixed and perfect?
- No.
- OK, good, because...
We... We...
We didn't hear a thing.
Connor, I am so sorry
that I misjudged you.
It's OK.
I probably would have done the same.
Well, this is gonna be
the craziest Christmas in family history.
I've successfully planned
my first and last wedding ever.
It's weird to think when I look back
on this day, it's gonna be
the best and worst memories, together.
OK, well, I'm gonna go tell everyone
the Grinch stole the wedding, so...
I'll go.
No, no. I'm supposed to be the one
that's "in charge," so...
I'm the head of the family.
I'll make the official announcement.
Maybe you can ask them to stay?
What are you doing?
Well, I'm trying to make
a romantic gesture.
Kelsey Wilson...
will you marry me?
You can't do this.
We barely know each other?
If you let me...
I'd like to spend a lifetime fixing that.
I... I...
There are times in our lives
when we simply must take control.
Not give in to silly ideas,
or romantic notions
that love conquers all.
We have to be grown-ups.
All right, shall we try again?
- Yes.
- Yes.
Do you, Connor McClane,
take Kelsey Wilson
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
I do.
And do you, Kelsey Wilson,
take Connor McClane
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
I do.
Then by the power vested in me,
I pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss.
Well, Mom, I did it.
I planned a wedding.
And then I hijacked it.
With blessings of course.
I'm not exactly sure where I'm headed,
and that is terrifying.
But I know that wherever I go,
I'll have all the love I need to guide me.
And I know that love is unconditional.
Love you muchly.
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Mmm-mm.
Welcome home, Mrs. McClane.
Come on.