Christmas Wedding Tail, A (2011) Movie Script

Isn't Christmas beautiful?
The decorations, the ornaments
and my favorite--
gingerbread! Yum!
My name's Rusty.
And I hope you're in the mood
for a good old-fashioned Christmas tail,
'cause I've got one.
This wasn't just any Christmas.
Yep, that's me-- Rusty Campbell.
No, that-- that's not me.
Over-- move over-- yeah, that's me.
Look at you, Mr. Handsome.
And that beautiful
babe next to me-- that's Cheri.
Watch it, buster.
I'm telling the story here.
Seriously, folks, isn't she the most
beautiful bride you've ever seen?
Your owner's not so bad either.
Do you, Jake, take Susan
to be your lawfully wedded wife,
to have and to hold,
in sickness and in health,
for as long as you both
shall live?
Oops, getting ahead of ourselves here.
If you want to hear
this Christmas wedding tail,
we've got to go all the way back
to the beginning.
? It's Christmas time of year ?
? Everybody swing ?
? Yeah, it's Christmas time
of year again ?
? And the trimming's
on the tree ?
? 'Cause everybody here
loves Christmas ?
? Here we go, let it snow,
ho ho ho ?
? Well, it's Christmas time of year ?
? With the presents
under the tree ?
? Yeah, it's Christmas time
of year again ?
? There's a stocking there for me ?
? Does everybody here
love Christmas? ?
? Yeah, here we go, let it snow,
ho ho ho ?
? Here we go, here we go,
ho ho ho ?
? Here we go, here we go,
ho ho ho ?
? Here we go, here we go,
ho ho ho. ?
It was early October
and Susan had taken me
to the dog park
for some quality bonding time.
Little did I know
my life was about to change forever.
There's got to be something
available, Pat.
There's got to be something
available, Pat.
No, Susan, listen,
you've got to be patient, okay?
There's got to be something.
You hear that?
That's not sleigh bells.
That's the sound of crickets.
Towards the end of the year,
none of the major museums are hiring.
None of them?
Relax. Don't get your bloomers
in a bunch, okay?
A curator with your qualifications
is gonna get offers.
It's just gonna take some time.
Well, I hope so.
Maybe something back East,
let me get out of California
Don't worry, you will.
But in the meantime, do me a favor.
You know how those small towns are--
they suck you in.
And next thing you know you're running
a little coffee shop or something..
Don't worry.
I'm a city girl.
The small town is not for me.
That's when I saw her,
her tail floated through the air
like a cloud.
I just love a woman
with a sense of style.
-- Rusty!
Is everything okay up there, Susan?
Rusty, Rusty.
You go get 'em, Sue.
You go get 'em. All right, all right.
Pat here.
How can I be of service?
You need a job, huh? Well,
you came to the right place, buddy.
I'm going into a tunnel. Oh my gosh.
Oh look, I'm losing you.
Don't touch my fish.
They're poisonous.
- Hey there.
- This is an A and B conversation,
so why don't you C your way
out of it?
My name is Rusty.
I'm Not Interested.
At least tell me your name.
If you don't tell me,
I'm going to have to guess.
Foo-Foo? Pookie? Tawana?
Not even close.
Rusty, got you.
Cheri, I leave you for a minute, and
already you've made some friends here.
Cheri. I loved
the way it rolled off the tongue--
or the way it would have rolled off
the tongue if I could actually speak.
It was love at first sniff.
Everything okay?
Lana, what are you up to?
Oh, it's okay. I think they just
got away from us for a second.
- It's good to see you, Jake.
- Thank you, Reverend. How are you?
- I'm great. Thank you for asking.
- Good.
Listen, I've got to run.
Hey, Susan, do me a favor.
- Will you tell your mom I said hi?
- I will.
See you guys later.
Come on, let's go, Lana. Come on.
Rusty, you cannot run away
from Mommy like that.
You about gave me a heart attack.
Okay, easy with the Mommy stuff.
I'm with a lady here.
Oh, it's okay.
They've got great security here.
It's really not a problem.
Besides, it looks like
they like each other.
"Like" is a strong word.
- Yeah.
- This is my Cheri.
Yes, I said Cheri.
And my name is Jake.
Cheri. Wow.
I'm Susan and this is Rusty.
Hey Rusty. How are you, buddy?
Well, it's nice to meet you guys.
I haven't seen you around though.
Are you new?
Yeah, we just moved up
from LA.
Oh, a city dog, huh?
I should have known.
Really? That's a big change.
Why the move?
Um, lots of reasons.
Mostly my mom has an antique store
over in Los Olives.
Gussied Up--
maybe you've heard of it.
- I have.
- Yeah, I'm just helping her out.
Well, I hope your mom's
working you hard.
Oh yeah, she's a slave driver.
In fact, I'd better get going.
- Okay, sounds good.
- Okay.
Nice meeting you. Okay.
Come on, honey.
Hey, you know, if you want
to actually do something fun,
I work at a winery.
Bridle wood-- maybe you've heard of it.
No, I haven't.
If you would like,
I could give you a personal tour.
Maybe Friday at 5:00, 1:30 or 2:30...
...or 4:45-- whatever works for you?
As I sat there
watching for what felt like an eternity,
all I could think about was,
"The next words out of her mouth
could define my romantic destiny."
Oh, you can be so dramatic.
Sounds like a plan.
Sounds good.
Nice meeting you.
All right.
It's been a pleasure
meeting you, madam.
Oh, believe me,
the pleasure was all yours.
Come on, Cheri.
I love it
when a plan comes together.
That night I could barely sleep.
She was all I could think about--
her gorgeous hair,
the way her hindquarters shook
when she walked.
Hey, there might be
kids watching this.
It turns out I wasn't
the only one bitten by the love bug.
You met someone?
What's his name?
Does he have a job?
Mom, it's no big deal.
We met at the dog park.
- Hey man.
- You just about gave me a heart attack.
I was just cleaning this.
So did you get
this whole thing cleaned?
I cleaned it.
It's clean.
- Hey.
- What?
- I meta girl.
- What?
Yes, at the dog park.
She's beautiful.
She's even got a little dog
that can hang out with my little Cheri.
- Here's the kicker.
- What?
She's not from around here,
just moved into the area.
And I told her I worked at a winery.
I invited her over for a little tour.
He offered to show me around
the winery where he works.
The winery? He works at--
does he own the winery?
You told her you work at a winery?
You should say, "I own a winery."
- That's what I say.
- I don't know.
I guess I figured
new town-- new start.
Maybe it's time to get back
on the horse.
Did you say anything
about the kids?
Well, no. It was this fast. It was
like, "Hey, our dogs like each other.
You want to come to the winery?"
It was that fast.
I didn't get a chance
to talk about the kids.
Are you crazy?
You didn't say anything about the kids?
A single mother
of three boys--
some men might find that
Wait wait wait,
don't you watch "Oprah"?
Sensitive guys are in, dude.
Says the guy who thought
"The Notebook" was a comedy.
Look, you don't know anything about him.
Just don't get hurt.
I won't let myself get hurt, Mom.
Okay, I have to go pick up the boys.
What time do we open anyway?
Two hours ago.
Okay, Rusty, let's go.
Come on, let's go get your boys.
Wait a second. So you don't
actually work at a vineyard?
You own this vineyard?
I actually inherited it
when my folks passed away.
it's beautiful.
It is beautiful.
I've actually had a lot of offers
from people to buy this place,
but I can't imagine
anyone else managing it.
And half the people that work here
have been here since before I was born.
Whoa. Watch your step.
- Here, hold on to my arm.
- Thank you.
What about you?
What was your business back in LA?
I was a curator
at the California Museum of Art.
- Really?
- Yes.
Wow. What happened?
Budget cuts.
My department got consolidated.
So here I am.
Where are all the grapes?
The grapes have already
been harvested.
They've been barreled.
They're fermenting.
And we'll bottle them
by Christmas.
Oh, Christmas.
I love Christmas.
Yeah, me too.
It's the time of year I can remember
my whole family being together.
- Are you hungry?
- Yeah, I'm starving.
That's good, 'cause I had the chef
make something special for us.
- Shall we?
- We shall.
Let's do it. All right.
- There it is.
- There you go.
Oh, that smells delicious.
Wow, thanks, Frank.
It's a special mixture
of black truffles, sausage
and oyster stuffing
in one stunning chicken.
Or I'll be right back.
- That's Frank.
- Yeah, he's a keeper.
He's my boy. He's my boy.
Speaking of chicken,
did you know
that the longest recorded flight
of a chicken was 13 seconds?
No, I did not know that.
I am an encyclopedia
of useless information.
Well, if you're speaking of poultry, did
you know that Donald Duck's middle name
was Fauntleroy?
- Fascinating.
How about this one?
Cookie Monster's first name--
Sorry. Yeah, food.
That was very impressive.
Wow. Well, I guess we know
our children's programs here.
- Hey, I actually wanted to talk--
- You know, there's something
I wanted to tell you.
Sorry, you go ahead.
Go ahead.
No, I insist.
- I have three boys.
- I have two children.
I can't believe
you just said that.
You don't know how worried
I was to tell you that.
No, I was worried that you were--
not that you were gonna say,
but I was" I didn't want
to say it too. I'm--
Can I show you pictures?
Yes, please.
This is so great.
I had no idea.
- Really?
- Yes.
- Why would you lie?
- I know.
- Oh.
- That's my youngest.
That's Emma.
She's seven.
Oh, I bet she loves
ponies and Barbies and--
More like spiders and frogs
and snakes.
You know, anything that slithers
or spits venom-- she's probably got it.
Still, she's adorable.
She's a cutie.
And this is my oldest,
just turned 11,
loves anything
with a ball or a puck.
Oh, he's so handsome.
What's his name?
Her name is Madison.
It's a girl?
She wanted to join
the rugby team.
I had to draw the line somewhere.
I hope I'm not scaring you right now.
No no, not at all.
In fact, here you go.
The one on the left is Logan.
He is going to be the first
with his own
four-star restaurant.
- That's amazing.
- Well, maybe he can help me out
'cause I can barely boil
a pot of water.
The one in the middle is Josh.
He is gonna be the next
Mark Zuckerberg.
Is he really?
I don't know where he finds
the time to study though.
He's always tinkering around
on his computer.
And who's this little guy
on the end?
Oh, that's my Ryan.
He's too young.
He doesn't know what he wants to be.
He's a snappy dresser.
Yeah, that's a new phase.
He actually hasn't said much
since his dad passed away.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah, the psychologists say
he will talk when he's ready.
Well, after my wife passed
I had a really hard time
wanting to talk to anyone about it,
so I get what he's going through.
It's a lot of emotion and pain
to deal with.
Yeah, so much, you don't
really know what to do with it.
It's so hard.
I can only imagine
how hard it must have been
for the boys.
Well, they're lucky to have a mom
like you to help them through it.
Well, that was
kind of amazing.
That was great.
It was really fun.
We should do it again.
Wow, you have frogs here.
- Till the next time then.
- Okay.
What can I say?
My little Rusty was
an excellent matchmaker.
Why don't you tell them
what happened next?
Once things
got rolling between them,
things moved pretty fast.
And Jake and Susan grew
closer and closer.
Finally it was time
for the kids to meet.
They seemed to have
a great time, didn't they?
You're going down, sister.
You wish.
No one beats Madison.
Hike the ball already.
Come on.
Oh yeah, it was classic.
Yes! Oh!
- Yes yes yes!
Nice job. Let's go back.
Fire guns. Guns ablaze.
Guns ablaze. Guns ablaze.
- Loser.
- Daddy!
Everyone started
spending time together.
? Angel rubbed her eyes ?
? She turned away ?
? She thought that her mind
had gone astray ?
? But the little man
gently touched her ?
? Said, "Girl,
I'm on your side..." ?
- I'm supposed to put all this in here?
- Yeah.
- All of it?
- All of it.
Yeah, that's good.
That's a whisk.
- Do I mix it up here like this?
- No no. Okay.
This is important.
I have to be able to impress Susan.
- No, you should--
- I don't know anything about cooking.
Okay, thank you.
- Bend down a little bit.
- Press "on"?
- Press the "on."
- Uh-huh. Okay.
That's not funny.
That is not funny.
And everyone was having
the most amazing time.
? There he goes, Whoo! ?
Best of all, I got to spend more time
with my beloved Cheri.
Those were good days.
Yes, they certainly were.
And before you knew it,
the Christmas season was here.
? Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ?
? Fa Ia Ia Ia Ia
Ia Ia Ia Ia ?
? 'Tis the season
to be jolly ?
? Fa Ia Ia Ia Ia
Ia Ia Ia Ia ?
? Don we now
our gay apparel ?
? Fa Ia Ia Ia Ia Ia
Ia Ia Ia ?
? Troll the ancient
Yuletide carol... ?
Jake decided
to invite us all over
for Thanksgiving dinner.
- I didn't take it though.
- Yes, you did.
You guys, slow down by the pool.
I don't want anyone--
oh gosh, don't get hurt, please.
Oh, this is so beautiful.
I don't need anyone
getting hurt before the meal.
- I know. Thank you so much.
- I didn't take it.
Give it back.
Hey, it took all day
to make that oyster stuffing.
- My computer.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
Oh boy.
What is going on over there?
I told you not to take Bridget
out of the cage.
Wait, who's Bridget?
Bridget's the mouse.
There's a mouse? Where?
- Over there.
- Bridget!
- Where?
- Oh, here it comes. Here it comes.
it's coming over here. Oh!
I would like to show my thanks
to this young chef right here
for making these peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches.
Logan, Well, you know, we would be
eating oyster stuffing right now
- if you didn't bump me over.
- Guys, guys.
- All right, guys.
- How about something--
what is something you might be
grateful for, young man?
Okay, we haven't heard anything
out of that side of the peanut gallery.
- Oh, Dad.
- Yes, ma'am.
- I'm thankful for sports.
- Lovely.
Oh, cooking.
Collecting bugs.
Collecting bugs" lovely.
What about you?
I'm thankful for computers.
I'm thankful
for computers too.
- I'm thankful for bacon bits.
- Oh yeah, those are nice.
And what about you, Mama?
I'm thankful that my daughter has been
looking a little happier lately.
Aww. Thanks, Mom.
I am.
I am very thankful as well.
In fact, I'm so thankful for
how this group
has come together so lovingly,
I have something very special
that I would like to ask
your mother.
Susan, can you stand up
for a second?
I think he's gonna do it.
Do what?
What are you doing?
Susan Davis,
you have made me happier
than I have been
in a really long time.
I think my daughters
can attest to that.
And I don't want to stop feeling
that way for the rest of my life.
Susan Davis, will you make me
the happiest man on earth
and marry me?
Yes, I will.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Well, Cheri,
looks like you're stuck with me.
Come here, big guy.
- I'll be right back.
- Yeah, it's okay.
Hey, buddy.
What are you doing over here?
Hey, look at me.
I know that you're sad,
but nobody could ever
replace your dad.
Jake-- he cares very much
about you
and your brothers.
What are they even talking about?
I have no idea.
And you dad will always be
very special to me.
But just think about it--
wouldn't having a man around the house
be kind of cool,
like maybe some sisters
running around?
Look, everything's gonna be okay,
'cause you know what?
Us getting married
is not about just us.
It's about having a family.
I promise
everything's gonna be okay.
You'll see.
Let's go eat.
Well, you think the little man's
gonna be okay?
Yeah. I know he's gonna love you.
He just needs time.
You know, we don't have to have
a huge wedding.
No, I think we should.
I think it would be good for them.
- Okay.
- Do you have a date in mind?
I was thinking Christmas.
You're kidding.
You said it always
reminded you of family.
I can't think of a better way
of celebrating
the two families
coming together.
Besides, the kids will be off of school.
Everyone's gonna be in town.
It'll be perfect.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
Oh no.
Yeah, they'll be great together.
Of course
with less than a month to go,
things were bound
to get interesting.
Are you-- are you crazy?
- What is the big deal?
- We're not getting any younger, come on.
Well, are you sure
you're ready for this?
Of course I'm ready for this.
She's sweet. She's smart.
She's super motivated.
He's considerate and caring,
charming, funny.
Well, I think the kids needs
a male figure in the house, you know.
She's gonna be a great influence
on the girls.
- It'll be perfect.
What did the kids say about it?
I mean, Ryan didn't seem too happy.
How are the girls taking it?
'Cause I'm not taking it very well.
Well, it's not gonna happen
overnight, that's for sure.
Do you know what? I think in the long
run it will be the best thing for them.
Well, what about me?
What about what I want?
When you said you were gonna get
back on the horse, I didn't expect you
-to jump into the Kentucky Derby.
- Mom.
I don't get it. I don't get it.
You just did the whole marriage thing
and now you're on
the Sea of Tranquility.
And there are tons of fish
in that sea.
And you are talking
about settling down
when you should be getting down, man.
I mean, what's the big rush?
Look, we could spend eight months
planning this thing out...
Or we could just not dwell on it
and just get married.
Do you watch television?
Do you know what a bridezilla is?
I do not.
All they want is perfect.
Please educate me.
They want perfect flowers
and a perfect dress
and perfect perfectness--
perfect perfect.
You know what?
Perfect perfect-- we're not 25.
We don't need
some ridiculous wedding.
We've been through this already before,
both of us have.
We don't need that.
We just want something simple...
And no nonsense...
- Intimate...
- Little wedding.
At least let me handle the music.
That's good.
We're so good, dude.
We have our own Facebook page...
- Frank.
- ...My space page.
We're huge in Germany.
Come on, man.
We just played the Renaissance Faire.
And all the knights in the crowd
were like,
"Arrrgh, thou art fine minstrels."
But they didn't sound like pirates
when they did it.
I'll give you a massage.
This is a no.
- But I love you.
- I love you too.
This is tough love. No.
As long as you're happy,
I will support you.
- Thanks, Mom.
- I'm scared, but I'll support you.
Come on.
Don't forget, if it wasn't for me,
none of this would have happened.
I may have the mental capacity
of your average
two-year-old human,
but I couldn't help but notice
that the girls weren't exactly thrilled
with the idea that their father
was getting hitched to this woman.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- May I help you?
- Yes. I'm getting married.
And my goodness, what beautiful--
- oh honey, honey.
- Swing swing.
May I say what beautiful daughters
you have?
They are lovely.
Well, you are gonna make
a beautiful bride.
I mean, my goodness,
you have lovely bone structure.
And we can find something to accentuate
your gorgeous blonde hair.
Let's try something on.
You look splendid.
- I think it's a little long.
- No, it's perfect.
You put some heels on--
just right.
Yeah. Oh.
- I think it's a little too long.
- Yeah.
Well, what do you think?
You look like Tarzan's wife.
This is one of my
most popular designers.
She still looks like Tarzan's wife.
Okay, this is
a brand-new one. It just came in today.
Now it's floor-length,
which is a must, I think.
It's got a corseted bodice
which shows off your figure perfectly.
It's got full support
and a neckline
that is gonna make
that groom's heart flutter.
- I think it's a little too sparkly.
- I like it. It's pretty cool.
Speaking of flutter,
is this in dollars?
Honey, you can't put a price tag
on the most important day of your life.
Yeah, but this is
a down payment...
- it's okay.
- ...on a house.
We don't need to go to college.
Do you have something
on sale maybe?
I do have some stuff
in the back.
You're welcome to fish through.
Follow me.
She shoots.
She scores.
Hey puppy. Hi.
Did you miss me?
Oh, you are a good boy.
- Hello.
- Hi sweetie.
I made Santa sugar cookies--
your favorite.
Oh yeah, those were my favorite
when I was, like, 10.
Oh, then I supposed it was Santa and
his elves who ate them all last year?
Okay, maybe I had a couple.
- How did it go at the dress shop?
- It was interesting.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Okay, that's an understatement.
And the girls?
I think the girls are about as excited
about the wedding as the boys are.
Did you really expect otherwise?
It's a big change for them.
You can't expect them
to fall in love with you overnight.
I know.
They just want to feel
safe and secure.
They want to know
they can count on you.
Well, they can.
I know, but they need
to learn that.
Right now they're just probably
feeling totally invisible,
like they don't have a say.
They want to be appreciated
and encouraged, you know?
I mean, everyone works
at their own pace.
So just give it time, sweetie.
- I'm gonna get that.
- Okay.
- I'm just gonna--
- I guess you don't like them any more.
- Huh-uh.
- I'll do crudites, you know, tonight.
So how are things
out in the boondocks?
Yeah? Well, I've been in the office
all day, busting my hump for you.
And I got you an opportunity
that I think is gonna make you flip.
Chief Curator of the New York Museum
of Contemporary Art.
You got nothing!
Take that.
That's right.
Isn't that crazy?
- That's unbelievable.
- Yeah, it's wild, isn't it?
The last curator took a similar position
at the Louvre.
Take that.
And here's
the luckiest part of all:
They're gonna be in Los Angeles
tomorrow conducting interviews.
Wait, tomorrow?
Isn't that crazy?
I was able to call in some favors
and pull a few strings
and I got you a prime 11:30 slot.
Am I good or what?
I'll be there.
So seriously, I'm asking,
am I good or what? Just say it.
Okay, I am personally
sending you an email...
with all the details. Done.
Okay, thanks.
Here we go. Come on,
she's kicking your butt, tubby.
Come on.
Embarrassing. Embarrassing.
Oh my--
Oh, come on, people.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Where are you?
I'm running some errands.
What's up?
Well, I was just calling
to remind you
about the coordinators
this afternoon.
That was today?
Okay, what time?
3:00, my office.
You know what?
I might be a few minutes late.
I have to go pick up the kids.
Okay. Sounds good.
I'll see you then, honey.
I'm actually very traditional.
I was thinking
white folding chairs
and, um--
and some white--
I'm highly allergic to dogs
and I keep sneezing
and it makes me very sick.
Yeah, well, I'm allergic
to your perfume.
Now I'm gonna make your wedding
Now I was thinking
for decorations,
it should be leopard.
We would have horse-drawn carriages
and runners down the aisle.
You know what?
Let's lose the horses.
I think that sounds a little much.
Rusty might get jealous.
Yeah, my cousin
has this great restaurant.
The meatballs there
are to die for, literally.
Be quiet for me
one minute, please.
I just want to feel the energy
of your dogs.
My energy is creeped out.
We'll have a wedding scene
look like Santa's workshop.
Oh ho ho ho!
Well, it's on Christmas, isn't it?
Yeah-- no.
Yeah, he's going with it.
Ho ho ho ho ho!
Oh, at the wedding we can tell you
how to do everything.
We can do "Drop It Like it's Hot."
And then we could do booty shake,
booty shake, booty shake.
brownies for all of your guests.
I'm liking this vibe.
I really like that.
And what's nice about hay bales
is they also double as a toothpick.
'Cause you get that meat stuck in
there. You just need a little toothpick.
You get it out of a hay bale
and you just do-- it's perfect.
Little elves
dancing around the tables.
Your poodle can stay
because it's hypoallergenic.
Of course I am.
But the other dog has to go.
Do I need to state the obvious?
No, I don't think so.
Your dogs" they're telling me
that they love granola.
Running man, running man,
running man, running man.
She can do a running man
while she's coming down the aisle.
- Like that?
- That's awesome.
Everybody has a hootenanny
good time.
They come on in.
They leave. They're married.
Well, maybe they don't last long,
but it doesn't matter.
The wedding
was the most fun part of it.
See, this is great. We're learning
about each other right now as well.
Now if you need a preacher,
I can be your preacher.
I got a Bible for it.
Yeah, hello.
If you need a pastor--
ho ho ho--
Santa Claus is licensed
to do weddings.
So I'm detecting a real--
real Christmas theme here
to the wedding.
You guys need extra security?
'Cause I know a couple guys.
- Really? Really?
- That's good. No, that's good.
- Well, you know.
- Really?
I will not come to the wedding
if that dog is there.
Lady, I won't come to the wedding
if you're there.
The way we see it,
the bride should be married like a queen
and treated like a queen--
with the exception, of course,
of a subsequent beheading.
Thank you.
Lots and lots of doves
flying overhead
during your vows.
Can you train these doves
not to poop?
No worries.
Aside from the hippies and the yogis,
I would say that went pretty well.
Personally I'd go
with the Santa Claus guy,
because that way there'd be
presents at your wedding.
I know someone at the dog park-- Pepe.
He could probably be an officiant
at your wedding, but I'd have to see
if his papers are in order.
Well, this is where we live.
Hey. Are you too busy
to give your mom a kiss?
How was school?
Fine. I'm learning how to make
Emeril's fish soup.
I need to get
the spice portions correct.
- Can I make it for dinner tonight?
- You know, you have homework.
- But Mom.
- Sorry, it's a school night
and you need to get ready for bed
so we have time for your
multiplication before, okay?
You left early this morning.
Oh yeah. I had some errands to run
before it got too late.
How were the coordinators?
You know, I think we're gonna end up
doing it ourselves.
Well, it's your wedding.
I saw your letter
about the rent.
Oh, don't worry about that.
Of course I'm gonna worry
about it, Mom.
You said things were bad, but you
didn't say they were this severe.
Things have been a little hard
since your father died,
but I'll be fine.
Do not worry about it, okay?
Where's Ryan?
He's over there.
I caught him looking through
Paul's things earlier today.
You go on upstairs and rest.
I'll make dinner.
Hey, buddy.
You all right?
How was it today?
Did you play soccer at lunch?
-- Where are you guys going?
- I don't have it.
- Josh.
So while the idea
of a Christmas wedding day
might have sounded
fun and special,
they were about to learn it presented
one teensy little problem.
I heard back from
the Congregational Church,
the Baptist Church
and the Presbyterians.
They're all busy with their Christmas
services and the restaurants are closed.
- Something's got to be open.
- Yeah, there is--
Chang's House
of Dim Sum and Donuts.
- Oh, I love their shrimp toast.
- I love their crullers.
So this is our only option?
Yeah, and for $150
it'd better be a good one.
- No no no no no no.
No no no. No dogs allowed.
Oh, we have an appointment.
Jake Campbell and Susan Davis.
- We had an appointment with Howard?
- Hank.
Hillary Spaulding.
And no animals are allowed
on the premises.
No dogs? Ouch.
I assure you
they'll be well-behaved.
Clearly this lady does not know us.
- Yes, I know.
- That's what they all say.
But I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, "I can leave
a nice little present on the fairway."
Yeah, too late.
And won't the greens keeper
just love that?
We were actually hoping that the dogs
could participate in the ceremony.
Yes. See,
they're the reason we met.
So no dogs" no ceremony.
No $150 a plate.
Well, then welcome
to the Los Olives Country Club.
If it's a nice, quiet, romantic ceremony
that you're looking for,
I believe you've come
to the right place.
But let me show you
some options.
I'll get another golf cart over there.
After you.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
And if you lift a leg, you're done.
I think this lady needs a few days
in obedience school.
I really think you're gonna love
the facilities, yes.
The banquet facilities
are world class.
Our chef is world-renowned.
And you're gonna love the catering.
Hey, Rust,
what are you--
what are you thinking of me
hitching up with your mom?
Is that all right?
Oh, there's a bridal suite too,
if you need to get ready beforehand.
It's fabulous.
It's so pretty.
Isn't it pretty, honey?
Yeah, it's gorgeous.
No, you're not gonna see
anything like it for miles around,
I assure you.
Oh my, is that what I think it is?
Ignore him, Rusty. He's just a stray.
it's another dog! Let's get him!
- Rusty, no. Get back here.
- Whoa whoa whoa.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Why are you guys chasing me?
Just get him.
- No!
- Guys, wait up.
Now I got you.
- Aha! Now I'm gonna chase you.
- Don't chase me.
Rusty, listen to me. Stop it.
I'm gonna get you.
I'm gonna get-- whoa!
I know. Goodness.
- You guys both go sit.
- Okay, just go.
- Sit down.
- Stay.
Relax. We'll talk to you later.
I can't believe she's gonna let us
have the event at the country club
- after all that. That was madness.
- I know. I know.
Wow, there's nobody here.
- Is it always this quiet?
- Yeah, it's a ghost town.
I remember when my mom and dad
opened this place,
there were antique stores
up and down the street.
Now they're all tasting rooms.
- Oh. We're the enemy?
- Mm-hmm.
- Look out.
- Hi.
Crazy lady carrying blankets.
She's behind on her rent.
- She's cuckoo.
- Is she really?
I don't know how much longer
she can keep this place going.
You just gotta figure out
how to get some butts in this place.
How do you do that?
I have no idea how to sell antiques.
Well, then why don't we get them in here
some way you do know,
I don't know, like--
- oh.
- What? What oh?
Do something you know.
Do something
you love.
You are a genius.
Do something with Christmas.
- That is a great idea.
- Oh, heads up. Heads up. Oh.
- Oh. hi.
- Hi.
Oh, sorry. Hi.
I didn't know you guys were here.
Hey, do you need a hand?
Okay, here we go.
That day they got to work on a plan
to grab the tourists' attention.
The new family came together
and chipped in
to make sure it was perfect.
Oh, I just love a man who's handy.
I built a birdhouse once
with my own two paws.
? It's Christmas time,
it's Christmas time again ?
? The stockings are hung
and the tree is trimmed ?
? The sounds of the season
are ringing on in ?
? it's Christmas time,
it's Christmas time again ?
? Well, me and my baby
by the mistletoe ?
? Boy, don't you know? ?
? She'll be so happy ?
? When Santa comes tonight ?
? it's Christmas time,
it's Christmas time again. ?
Go. Go.
- Here you go. Merry Christmas.
- You'd better go.
? A-one, two, three, four, one ?
? Silent night ?
? Holy night... ?
Well, they do have a certain
? All is bright ?
? Round yon Virgin ?
? Mother and Child,
Holy Infant... ?
I know they're your friends,
but no. Uh-uh.
? So tender and mild... ?
- Wow.
- Oh no, he's coming at me.
? Sleep in heavenly peace... ?
Oh brother.
? Sleep in heavenly peace. ?
Well, at least we're getting
the worst out of the way first,
- I think.
- You think?
Ja. Hello. Testing.
Is the micro--
- No.
- Uh, no.
Go like this.
- No.
- No.
? Here comes the bride,
here comes the bride... ?
I didn't even know
that note existed.
? Jingle bells ?
? How I love you, oh ?
? Jingle bells ?
? How I need you... ?
- Make it stop. Make it stop.
- I can't breathe. Make it stop.
? On a one-horse
open sleigh ?
? Over the fields we-- ?
? Laughing all the way... ?
- Okay, that's it.
- .' Jingle bells... .'
Wait, they're gonna do a Journey medley.
Don't you want to hear that?
- Susan, come on. Honey, they're not--
- No. No, I'm done. That's it.
Having sampled the highlights
of the Los Olives indie music scene,
it was time to move on
to the next element
of the wedding.
And after her delightful picnic
with the Campbell girls,
Susan thought it might be
a good idea for her boys
to spend some time
with their new stepfather.
- Who's hungry for cake?
- I do, I do, I do.
I want to try
some cake, Whoo-hoo!
Do we have to?
Joshua Edward Davis,
get out of this car right now.
Okay, come on.
Wow. And you two
are staying in here
until we're ready to go.
And if you're good,
I'll get you a treat on the way back.
I had to admit, more
and more I was really liking this guy.
Ryan, don't you want to come
see some wedding cakes, honey?
Let me handle this.
Hey, buddy.
So you're not so thrilled about
your mom and I getting engaged, huh?
I get it. I think my daughters
would agree with you.
And I know that you're
missing your dad. Right?
I want you to know
I miss someone a lot too.
Madison and Emma's mama
was a really special lady
and I miss her a lot.
I really do.
But your dad--
I'm not trying to replace him.
I couldn't.
It'd be impossible.
What I can do
is I can help him.
I can help him take care of you,
take care of your brothers
and help look after your mom
a little bit.
And one thing
I'll guarantee you
is that I won't leave you.
He said that too.
What do you say,
let's go in and get some cake?
? Joy to the world,
the Lord is come... ?
Wow, it smells good
in here, right?
- Yeah.
- What do they have here?
- Ooh.
- Whoa.
Come on.
I think over here maybe.
What do you think?
My heart cries out for the piece
of fondant on display here.
- He is nine, isn't he?
- Yeah.
- Hi, folks. How are you?
- How can I help you?
Good. We're getting married.
Congratulations. Have you thought about
what kind of cake you might like?
Not really.
I mean, we're here.
It's about as far as we've gotten.
- I was thinking angel food.
- Like a red velvet.
- Okay, lemon coconut.
- Raspberry cream.
Or lemon raspberry
coconut cream.
Okay, I think we have
some work to do.
Why don't I go get us
some books to look at?
Thank you. Good. All right, we're gonna
rock-paper-scissors for this.
- All right, you're on.
- Red velvet. What are you?
Um, lemon.
- Hey, where are you going?
- I smell something.
Can't you just
wait patiently?
- Hold on.
- Is that--
is that-- is that tiramisu
or a cappuccino torte?
You are going to get us
in so much trouble.
- Is it gonna look good?
- Or taste good.
All right, here we go.
Here are some samples for you.
Now I'd like to explain
each of these in detail, if I may.
First of all, we have the--
oh, not--
Just wait.
Wait wait just a second.
Okay, this is the sour cream fudge
with swirled marble.
I find the sour cream fudge
particularly playful.
Food Network.
We have the vanilla
French butter cream.
If you could just wait
and let me explain.
That's good.
This is-- this is not gonna
be a helpful--
- They're hungry. Sorry.
- Right. I just want--
- Guys.
- There's a detail that should--
Rusty, get back here.
- I just want to get a closer look.
- Maybe they got samples in the dumpster.
Oh, that's disgusting. Come on.
isn't that the most
beautiful thing
you've ever seen
in your whole life?
You're only three.
Yeah, but that's 21
in dog years.
- That didn't go so well.
- Okay, can I try some?
- Come to Rusty. Oh.
- Rusty!
What was that?
Oh gosh, that's so good.
What was that?
What is-- what is--
what is going on?!
How did you get in here?!
You get out of here!
Get out of my bakery!
Get out of here, you!
Furry, mangy, pile of fleas,
you get back here!
Are those your animals?
Do you have any idea
what they have done
to my kitchen,
to my cake?
They've ruined a $2500 cake!
you get to go upstairs
and go to bed.
Go to bed.
Hi. Everything okay?
Oh yeah, other than the fact
that Rusty ran through the kitchen
of the bakery
and destroyed everything,
everything is great.
Hey, it's Pat again.
I have some fantastic news.
Call me immediate--
- Pat Blake.
- Hey, it's Susan.
Susan, what have you
been doing?
I've been waiting here in my office
all day for you to call me back.
I was out walking the dog.
I thought you'd like to know that
I had a very interesting conversation
with Mr. Bob Martinez
over at MOCA.
Are you sitting down?
I am.
- You got the position!
- You're kidding me.
No. He said you're by far
the best candidate for the job.
That's incredible. I--
Chief Curator, New York City.
It's exactly what you wanted.
Yeah, I don't know what to say.
How about "Yeah"?
How about, "You're amazing, Pat.
And nobody else could have
done this for me, Pat."
Listen, they're sending
the contract over right now.
I'm gonna have the lawyers
take a peek at it.
All I need from you is a commitment
to start on the 1st.
I'll even book your flight out
on the 26th.
Oh, that's the day
after Christmas.
Well, you want time to get settled
or organized or whatever you do.
The kids probably need
a school to go to.
Right, yeah.
Of course.
What's the big deal?
It's just it's short notice is all.
Well, when you live life
in the fast lane like you are, Susan,
you gotta hold on tight.
This is exactly
what you've been waiting for.
I want to hear a celebration.
I want to hear excitement.
I want to hear jumping for joy.
Are you even jumping?
No, I am.
I've met someone.
Actually I've more than met someone.
I'm engaged to be married.
What? Why'd you go and do
something silly like that for?
Yeah, it just happened
on Thanksgiving.
We are going to be
getting married
on December 25th.
Listen, can I give you a little
piece of advice?
Because I've been married
four and a half times.
- Half?
- It was an annulment.
It was a stupid Vegas thing.
I know a thing or two about marriage.
Listen to me.
This whirlwind-romance-
spur-of-the-moment stuff
is fake. it's not real.
It doesn't exist.
It's a movie.
Do you understand?
It feels pretty real to me.
Fine. Then get married
to Mr. Mayberry
and spend the rest of your life
living in a small town
working at your mom's shop, because
that's what you're gonna be doing
if you marry this guy.
That's gonna be your life.
Or go to New York City,
the job of your dreams--
running the second-biggest
art museum on the East Coast.
You deserve this position.
And I would hate to see it go
to somebody else, Susan.
I know. Yeah.
Listen, give me 24 hours
to think about it, okay?
You got 12.
You know, you were made
for that job.
Yeah, you can tell him
that I'll give him another 5% off,
but tell him that I know
that he knows that I know
that he's already getting a good deal.
Yeah, you guys are
our best customers.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, let me call you back.
To what do I owe the pleasure?
- How's Rusty?
- Grounded.
I'll bet.
Can we talk for a minute?
Sure, yeah.
Let's go inside.
It's getting chilly out here.
New York?
Yeah. I've been wanting
something like this.
It's a tremendous opportunity.
MOCA is one of the biggest museums
in the country.
How did they find you?
I mean, who hires someone
without an interview?
- You interviewed.
- I did.
It was the day that we met
with the coordinators.
L-- they were in LA
and I went down.
You went down to LA
for an interview?
I didn't think anything
would come of it.
- And you didn't tell me?
- No, I didn't--
I didn't want to worry you.
I didn't--
Oh yeah, so you just lied about it.
That's so much better.
Okay, wait, did you never think
that I was gonna work again?
Of course not, but I thought these were
the kinds of things we could discuss...
- Yes, we are.
- ...that we could be open about them.
That's what I'm doing.
I'm here talking to you about it.
I want you to come to New York
with me.
I can't just leave here.
This is the only home that my kids know.
Their friends are here.
Their school is here.
I understand, but they can make
new friends. That's what kids do.
This place has been in my family
for 40 years--
40 yea rs.
There's nothing
more important than family.
And besides, I thought
we had a good thing here.
What about your mom's store?
What about that?
'Cause she took pity on me
and gave me a place to live?
I mean, I have worked
my entire life, Jake,
ever since I graduated
from high school.
I put myself through college.
I got two master's degrees--
to end up here?
This is not me. This was never meant
to be permanent for me.
I am not a small-town person.
You have this. You have the winery.
What do I have?
What defines me
other than mom?
I didn't mean that.
No, I know exactly
what you mean.
You know, when I told everyone
that I wanted to marry you, they said,
"Slow down.
You're moving too fast.
You don't know her
well enough."
And I told them
I knew exactly who you were
and that you were exactly
the person I've been looking for
since my wife died.
I guess I didn't know you at all.
You know, I'm just gonna
go back to this place
that can do without me, okay?
? You can't control ?
? The way of the world, so ?
? Live in the moment ?
? With love in your heart... ?
Unfortunately, no one knew what to do,
but they couldn't shake the feeling
that they'd rushed into this
and maybe it was a mistake.
I worked my whole life
for this job, you know?
I know you did, baby.
You'd think he'd be
more understanding.
I hate to say it,
but I told you so.
I know. I know.
it's like when we make
a bottle of wine.
First you've got to cultivate
and grow the grapes.
Then you've got to check
the sugar content to make sure
you're harvesting them at
the right time. Then you ferment them.
You age it for months,
and then you bottle it.
You'd think maybe he would see
what a great opportunity this is.
Well, he lives here.
His kids' home is here.
And then, and only then,
you know you have
the perfect bottle of wine.
I thought
I had the perfect bottle.
Have you thought about staying?
Of course, but--
But what?
It's good money, Mom.
If I took this job,
I wouldn't have to worry any more.
Well, it sounds like
you've made up your mind.
It's not my decision.
She's the one leaving.
Have you told her
how you feel?
Of course I have.
I want him to come.
I haven't been this happy
in a long time,
but I can't just pack up
and leave all this to go out East.
I'm not gonna do it, Frank.
I can't.
I'm gonna call Pat.
I'm going to accept the position.
? Never forget ?
? This bliss ?
? Mark this day ?
? With a kiss... ?
-- .' It doesn't get .'
? Better than this ?
? I can't imagine ?
? Better than this ?
? I can't imagine... ?
Yeah, baby, what's up?
You two should be together.
You think so?
Everything's gonna be okay.
Don't worry.
I love you, Mommy.
I love you too.
Come on.
? Never forget ?
? This bliss ?
? Mark this day ?
? With a kiss ?
? It doesn't get ?
? Better than this ?
? I can't imagine ?
? Better than this ?
? I can't imagine ?
? Soon all of our memories,
frozen in time ?
? Get lost in the shadows
of days gone by ?
? But you never forget
when the timing is right ?
? So mark this day ?
- .' With a kiss .'
- .' All of our memories .'
? Frozen in time ?
- .' Mark this day .'
- .' Get lost in the shadows .'
? Of days gone by ?
- .' With a kiss .'
- .' But you never forget .'
? When the moment is right ?
? Mark this day ?
? With a kiss... ?
Yes, I will.
It really hurt to see her like this.
I knew how much
Jake meant to her.
I also knew how she felt, having to
move back in with her mom at that age.
Independence is important.
But she wasn't the only one upset.
I know.
I don't know
what we're gonna do.
- Hey, Daddy.
- Hello.
Love you.
Hey, sweetheart.
- Daddy.
- Yeah?
What's gonna happen to Susan?
Mm, have a seat.
Let me talk to you guys
for a second.
So Susan got a really nice
job opportunity
and she's moving
to New York.
Why does she have
to leave?
It's complicated,
I thought she wanted
to be our mommy.
I didn't know that it mattered
so much to you two.
It did to you.
And we want you to be happy.
And now Cheri doesn't have
Rusty any more.
Come here, give me a hug.
- Love you guys.
- Love you, Daddy.
We're gonna be okay.
- Yeah, you too, come here, girl.
- Yeah, come here.
- Come on, honey. Yeah.
- Good girl.
We had five days left,
and there
wasn't a moment to lose.
Cheri and I had to come up
with a plan,
and fast.
- Rusty.
- Come on, Rusty.
Come on, Rusty,
stop playing around.
- Stop playing around.
- Rusty, come back!
- Mom's gonna kill us.
- Not if we catch him first.
Rusty! Rusty!
Rusty, come on, get back here.
Rusty, come back!
Rusty, Rusty!
What's she doing?
Now you have got to come with me.
It's important.
Why is she even here? There's no dogs
allowed in the tree house.
I think she wants us
to follow her.
I guess that's why she's barking.
Here, you go first.
- Cheri! Rusty!
- Cheri, get over here!
So what are you
doing here?
Following Cheri.
What are you doing here?
I don't know.
Rusty brought us here.
Right, your dog just happened to bring
you here at the same time we're here?
- He did.
- Are you calling us liars?
Maybe. What are you
gonna do about it?
You're the ones moving
to New York anyway.
It's not like
you couldn't come.
Please, if she really cared,
she wouldn't go.
Then you shouldn't make it sound
like it's all her fault.
Stop arguing.
He's right.
It's not about whose fault it is.
It's about what we're gonna
do about it.
My mom loves your dad.
And your dad loves her.
So the question is
how are we gonna make sure
that they still get married?
I think we need some extra help
on this one.
Let's go.
Emma was right.
It was time to bring in
the big guns.
And there was only one person
in the whole town
who could possibly fix
the situation.
Okay, guys, it's safe.
Come on.
Okay, so what's the plan?
One of us has got to go over there
and tell him what we want for Christmas.
- The wedding.
- Exactly.
- So how do we pick who does it?
- Okay, we've got one shot at this.
Who's the one person
he can't possibly say no to?
- Me?
- Just trust us.
Well, hello, children.
What are your names?
Look, I know you're not
the real Santa,
but that's okay.
Your secret's safe with me.
But I do know
that you're his helper,
so I was wondering
if you could ask him a favor.
Well, Santa's pretty busy
this time of year,
but I'm sure he can
do something.
What's your favor?
Well, my brothers and I
and the girls over there--
we'd like to get our parents
back together for Christmas.
They were supposed to get married
Christmas Day,
but now they're not.
Can you help them?
Well, that's a lovely
Christmas wish.
And don't you want something
for yourself,
say, a video game
or a bike?
No, this is all I want.
Can you help?
Well, it's a pretty tall order,
but I'll tell you what:
Elf Herbert, bring me
one of those flyers, please.
This is Elf Herbert.
Thank you, Elf Herbert.
You get them to come to this
and Santa's gonna see
what he can do, okay?
Now you make sure
you get them there by noon.
Got it.
And you kids,
you all have a wonderful Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, Santa.
- Merry Christmas.
Now on your way.
Santa's got work to do.
Merry Christmas, children.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
- Ho ho ho!
- Welcome all to the annual
- Ho ho ho!
- Welcome all to the annual
Los Olives Christmas Fair!
Girls, what do you want to do?
I want to go to the stage, Dad.
You want to go to the stage?
You want to listen to music?
- Yeah, come on.
- Let's go over, come on.
- Okay.
- Come on.
Come on, we're gonna
miss the performance.
All right, all right,
we're going. We're going.
I mean, like, isn't this something?
They do it every year.
They've got music.
They've got games.
I even think they have a couple of
reindeer over there by the petting zoo.
- What about dogs?
- Somebody pet me.
Okay, let's get this
over with, come on.
Uh, you know,
I know things are
difficult right now.
But promise me you'll try
to have a good time
-for the boys' sake.
- I promise. Okay okay.
- Hey, Jake, you made it.
- Hey.
- Can we go play?
- Yeah, I'm gonna look around.
- Okay, all right. Don't go far.
- Yeah, come on.
See you later.
Bye. What are you doing here?
You're looking at the main attraction.
We go on in five.
Stop it.
Are you playing here?
Just because we weren't good enough
to play at your wedding
doesn't mean that we're not
good enough to rock this house.
- How are you, gentlemen?
- Hey, Father.
- Reverend, how are you?
- Good to see you.
Frank, do you have a moment?
I just need to speak with you.
- Lead the way, Padre.
- Excuse us, Jake.
- Uh, yeah.
- I'll see you in a little bit.
? Tra Ia Ia Ia Ia ?
? La Ia Ia Ia. ?
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you.
We're gonna play another
Christmas carol for you,
but before we do that
I'd like to make a dedication
to two very special people
in the audience.
Jake, Susan, this is for you.
? Silent night ?
? Holy night ?
? Allis calm ?
? All is bright ?
? Round yon virgin... ?
Well, it looks like
they want us to dance.
I'm not sure
that's a good idea.
Come on, it's Christmas.
? So tender and mild... ?
You know these past few days
that we've been apart
- have been kind of hard.
- .' Sleep in heavenly peace... .'
Don't. it's okay.
No no, I-- I have to.
? In heavenly peace... ?
I feel like I'm all alone.
I feel like I'm missing
a huge piece of me that I--
I feel like I've just lost it.
But I didn't lose it.
Not yet.
It's still here.
I don't want to spend
any more of my life without you.
And I'll do anything
to prevent that.
Look, the girls are miserable
and Cheri is crying every night.
Yeah, the boys have been
pretty upset too.
I didn't think
it would be this hard.
I miss you.
If you want,
we'll go to New York with you.
You know what?
I'm kind of starting
to like it here.
What about your job?
There'll be other jobs.
There's only one you.
Susan Davis,
will you still marry me?
Yeah. Yes.
Are you guys gonna
get married or what?
You'd better.
It's Christmas. Do it.
You guys.
You guys.
Hey, Jake, we haven't rocked out
in a while. Get up here.
Come on, get up here.
Let's do this.
All right.
? Jingle bells, jingle bells ?
? Jingle all the way ?
? Oh, what fun it is to ride ?
? In a one-horse open sleigh ?
? Jingle bells, jingle bells ?
? Jingle all the way ?
? Oh, what fun it is to ride ?
? In a one-horse open sleigh... ?
Guys, come on.
? Dashing through the snow ?
? In a one-horse open sleigh ?
? O'er the field we go ?
? Laughing all the way,
ha ha ha ?
? Bells on bobtails ring ?
? Making spirits bright ?
? What fun it is
to laugh and sing ?
? A sleighing song tonight... ?
Are they really gonna
sing the whole thing?
I think so.
? Jingle all the way ?
? Oh, what fun it is to ride ?
? In a one-horse ?
? Open sleigh. ?
? The first Noel the angels did say ?
? Was to certain poor shepherds ?
? In fields as they lay ?
? In fields where they ?
? Lay keeping their sheep ?
? On a cold winter's night ?
? That was so deep ?
? Noel, Noel... ?
- Pat Blake.
- Hi Pat. it's Susan.
Well, it's about time.
Where have you been?
I've been holding MOCA off all day.
I re-read your contract though
and I gotta tell you,
you're getting a heck of a deal.
I would like you to tell them,
"Thank you very much for the offer,"
but I'm going to pass.
Susan, I'm sorry, hold on.
We must have
a bad connection,
'cause it sounded like
you just said you were passing.
I did.
Okay, Susan,
I want you to listen to me.
I know how these small towns are.
They get inside of you
like one of those parasites--
when you go to a country, and they say
"Don't drink the water"
but you drink it anyway.
'Cause that's what's happening here,
Susan. I need you to be rational.
Everything you've ever worked for,
I'm getting you--
New York City, MOCA.
This is the big time, honey.
I know. You're right.
It is everything I've been working for,
but I've been working
for the wrong things.
I get it. it's the money.
You know, I had a feel--
okay, you just give me a number
and I'll go back to them
and I'll get you your money.
Family is the most
important thing.
An expense account?
A company car. A company car.
No, a longer lunch, of course,
so you can spend time with your family.
- No, not interested.
- You tell me what you're looking for.
I will go back to them.
I promise I'll get it.
Not unless they will move
the museum to Los Olives.
That could be difficult.
Thanks, Pat.
I gotta check this Los Olives out.
Do not put your butt
on my couch!
Of course now there was the challenge
of putting everything back together
at a moment's notice.
And if there's one thing Jake
and Susan loved, it was a challenge.
The country club gave away the room
for a Christmas party.
Guys, guys, settle down
for a second here.
The caterer's booked.
The officiant went to Maui.
And our florist has been booked
by a charity event,
which is kind of irrelevant,
because it's too late for them to get
the flowers that we wanted anyway.
Okay, well, what about the cake?
She said something about
a restraining order and then hung up.
And the tuxedo guys is closed
until New Year's anyway.
We can just wait.
We don't have to do it on Christmas.
We can call
a justice of the peace.
Look, I promised my bride-to-be
a Christmas wedding.
And that is exactly
what you're going to get.
You're sweet.
I promise,
All right.
Hey hey hey, guys, guys.
Finally the big day had arrived.
- Merry Christmas.
- Santa came.
Come on, wake up.
We've got to go open presents.
- Come on, come on, Mom.
- Come on, Mom.
- Rusty. Rusty.
- Where's Grandma?
- Come on, Rusty. Come on.
- Five more minutes.
- No, now. Come on.
- No, come on, now.
- All right.
- Rusty wants you to.
You are crazy, boys.
- Move it, move it, move it.
- Come on, go go go.
- Look, Santa came.
- Nice.
Oh my gosh.
Yay! Here we go.
- Oh boy, a bone.
- That's mine, yep.
Merry Christmas, girls.
- Come here, honey.
- Cool.
This is awesome.
- Sweet.
- Daddy, it's my bunny.
Aw, look at that.
it's the bear you always wanted,
but you never got it for Christmas.
This is.
How did you know I wanted it?
This is for me too.
- I got a frog.
- A frog?
- Look at it.
- What?
? 'Tis the season to be jolly ?
? Fa Ia Ia Ia Ia
Ia Ia Ia Ia ?
? Fa Ia Ia Ia Ia ?
? La Ia Ia ?
? La. ?
My client does not even get out of bed
for less than 250K per year
plus stock options. That's his
bare minimum. Take it or leave it.
- Excuse me, sir.
- Excuse me, excuse me.
Sir, I'm sorry, you're gonna have
to get off the phone.
The ceremony is gonna
begin any minute.
- We're gathering the--
- I will. I'm going there.
- The bride comes right through here.
- Excuse me. Thank you, Reverend.
Yes yes, thank you, thank you.
I'm off. I'm off. I'm off. Go.
Are you still there?
Oh, yeah yeah yeah.
Of course I'm always
in my office.
Yes. Deal or no deal?
- Deal? Deal? Deal? Deal? Done.
- Excuse me, sir.
- There you go. Relax.
- Please take your seat, sir!
What side is the bride's family on?
Thank you, Your Honor.
- All right, are we all ready to go?
- Yes.
- How do I look?
- You look beautiful, Mommy.
You look great.
And I just want you to know
that I'm willing to share my room
if I have to.
Oh, you're the best.
Are you okay?
I'm just so very happy for you.
Oh, thank you.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Let's get going.
We mustn't keep people waiting,
must we? Fly fly fly.
Come on, let's go.
- Yes, we can.
- I love you.
- Reverend.
- Jake.
Come on, hurry up.
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here
in the presence
of these witnesses
to join Susan Davis and Jake Campbell
in holy matrimony.
I looked forward to this moment
since the day I first laid eyes on her.
I knew Cheri was the girl for me
and part of me actually wanted
to pinch myself
just to make sure
it was actually happening.
Of course without opposable thumbs
I couldn't really pinch myself,
but still it was
too good to be true.
But that's not all
that came over me that day.
It had been a long time
since I saw Susan smile like that.
I knew that just as much
as Cheri and I
were destined to be together,
so were they.
If I had tear ducts, I would cry.
May I have the rings?
Do you, Jake,
take Susan
to be your lawfully wedded wife,
to have and to hold,
in sickness and in health,
for as long as you both shall live?
I do.
And do you, Susan,
take Jake to be your
lawfully wedded husband,
to have and to hold,
in sickness and in health,
for as long as you both
shall live?
I do.
By the powers vested in me,
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
Jake, you may now
kiss your bride.
I know her.
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present
Mr. and Mrs. Jake Campbell?
? When the Christmas lights ?
? Are twinkling ?
? And the glistening snow ?
? Has fallen ?
? Sleigh bells keep... ?
Nice service, Rabbi.
I couldn't help but notice
your sparkling personality
and a winning
public speaking ability.
And I said to myself,
"Pat Blake--" that's me--
"that guy needs a headhunter."
Check it out. Give me a call. We'll do
beautiful things together, me and you.
Why, thank you so much.
I believe this belongs to you.
Oh, germs.
And I do have some people
I need to say hello to.
Well, you do that. You say hello
to them. Do your thing.
- Thank you so much. Lovely meeting you.
- It's great to meet you.
? For a Christmas dance
with you... ?
Logan's cooking went without a hitch.
Several guests, well,
acknowledging they'd never had
a marshmallow peanut butter
fudge wedding cake before,
said it was the best
they'd ever had.
He even had a small
non-chocolate version
for those of us who are
Finally there was the garter toss,
a bouquet toss,
and it was time to go.
You know what that smell is?
Right, that's the smell of money.
I see this place.
I see why Susan likes it here.
'Cause that valley is pure.
And you know what that valley needs?
- One thing. One thing only.
- No.
Exactly. Condos.
All over the place-- condos.
Get rid of the green stuff.
Oh man.
We're gonna like living here.
All right, you've stood
by me enough.
Please. Please.
? We could trip
the light fantastic ?
? In the clouds
where reindeer frolic... ?
And so that's
the story of the Christmas wedding.
Everything worked out in the end.
The family came together.
And, as it turned out,
Los Olives was in need
of someone with a little bit
of art knowledge.
And here we all are--
two parents, one in-law,
three boys, two girls...
And two dogs.
All living under one roof.
And I suppose
you're expecting me to say
"They all lived happily
ever after," right?
- But they did.
- Yeah, they do now,
but not at first.
Someday I'm gonna have to tell you
the story of what happened
when they all first
moved in together.
- Oh, and the family honeymoon.
- Yeah, who could forget?
Trust me, folks,
you don't want to miss that one.
? And the glistening snow ?
? Has fallen ?
? Sleigh bells keep ?
? A perfect rhythm for ?
? A Christmas dance ?
? With you ?
? A Christmas dance ?
? With you ?
? With you ?
? With you. ?