Chronicles of a Wandering Saint (2023) Movie Script
1
Wow...
Beautiful.
So you think she was doing it on purpose?
- You know she's always doing things for attention.
- She's not like that...
You think the light just happened to hit her that way?
I don't think so. It was a coincidence...
What are you doing Rita?
We're about to start.
I'm just grateful.
Grateful to have you all, such strong and brave ladies
Grateful for this beautiful place. No, really...
Out. Come on.
Ok, lets's begin then.
No, no. We're missing Rita.
Quit mopping so much...
...or those shiny floors will end up blinding us. Come.
Join us, come on.
Take a little break.
All right...
Shall we start?
Yes.
Yes.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit...
Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with you...
Blessed are you among women
and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners.
Now and the hour of our...
Hello.
Come pick me up.
Come on...
Tell me.
No.
Last time I told you...
...you ruined the surprise.
Look at that...
What happened?
They're dancing.
What?
What are you showing me?
The wind?
Right, of course...
Could be.
You brought the car, right?
Why didn't you leave it in the chapel?
Because, Norberto...
I have to prepare the surprise.
Speaking of surprises...
- ...I have one.
- Let's go, Norberto.
Come on.
"THE LOST STATUE OF SANTA RITA"
30 YEARS WITHOUT THE SANTA RITA STATUE
THE MYSTERY OF SANTA RITA
SANTA RITA: THEFT OR NEGLIGENCE?
THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THE TOWN STATUE
You have to see this!
Are you there?
You're not looking...
They look like the ones from our honeymoon.
Because they are the ones from our honeymoon.
See if it fits...
Why not?
Because it's not going to fit.
Fine...
I'll make milanesas a different night, then...
Well?
Let's see it.
You haven't changed a bit.
And now...
...the real test.
No, no. Are you crazy?
Are you crazy?
No!
It's water...
Water.
When I found them, I thought...
"Would you look at that?"
So I started to count the cash we have...
I think we have enough to go see the waterfalls.
Why?
Why not?
Because we've already seen them.
Yes...
...40 years ago.
Well, the waterfalls are still the exact same.
But we're not.
So, that's a no?
A-ha...
I know you...
You're considering it.
Don't go into the shed.
Alright...
I'm off to work.
Good night.
When did you put that photo there?
Which one?
Your mother's.
Today...
Why?
But her anniversary is still far off...
Did something happen?
No.
Okay...
Good night.
Good night.
Get out!
...when I first saw you...
...I didn't recognize your face...
...you seemed like a stranger so I became afraid...
In the darkness...
...I lost my way...
...and could not find the horizon...
...without your guidance.
The light from your shining face...
...will illuminate...
...all the paths...
...that lead to eternity.
And if I disappeared...
...you would find me...
...with the light from your shining face...
...you would illuminate me.
- One more time! Again!
- Oh, Father...
It's new. We're just rehearsing...
Please, Beba. Your fans are going wild.
- You think so?
- Come on!
Okay. Let's go. Again.
Thank you.
When you refer to a sacred object, do you mean...
a rosary?
A cross?
Or a painting or something like that, right?
Yes, something like that, Father.
And you said that it had disappeared...
...this object?
Yes, yes...
...disappeared, Father.
And it suddenly appeared? Out of the blue?
Just like that? On its own?
Yes, just like that, Father.
Rita...
This seems just too similar to what
happened with the Virgin of Lujn.
Yes, Father.
So then...
...it's not a sign?
We're ready, Father.
Coming!
Last night I had...
...once again that prophetic dream, Rita.
I was being called up to a huge stage...
I'm talking about thousands of people, Rita.
They were there...
...waiting. And they were staring...
And I didn't know what to say.
Not a single word would come out of my mouth, Rita.
Now I finally understand what I must say...
If all of this happened the way you say it did...
This is not a sign.
It is a miracle!
Therefore...
...it would be the most important thing...
...that's ever happened to this town. By far!
And to think that it's the two of us, Rita...
...that have been chosen by the Lord
to deliver this news to the world.
How astonishing!
Father...
I don't want to, in any way, to seem...
Rita.
Rita. This goes way beyond
our fears and insecurities.
It is our duty.
Understand?
Alright, I've got to get going.
I have another mass in La Ernestina.
Show me this sacred object next week, okay?
Ah! Make sure it makes an impact.
I want to show it to the bishop.
And I absolve you in the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
SANTA RITA STATUE: 30 YEARS MISSING
WHAT TO DO IF YOU EXPERIENCE A MIRACLE
"HERE'S A PHOTO OF MY FIRST COMMUNION. KISSES"
"THE YOUNGEST BEHAVES LIKE A QUEEN"
BEBA: "YOU SHOULD START A PRESCHOOL
WITH ALL THOSE KIDS HAHAHA"
"ARGENTINA'S WHITNEY HUSTON HAHA"
"IN SEARCH OF ELECTRICIAN
TO FIX BROKEN LIGHT"
VIVIANA: "BEAUTIFUL, BEBA"
LILIANA: "YOU'VE NEVER AGED!"
FATHER EDUARDO: "PART TIME SINGER
AND PART TIME LION TAMER LOL"
ALICIA: "TOO BLURRY"
CAN SANTA RITA STATUE
HAVE A CROWN OF THORNS?
SANTA RITA WOULD NEVER
HAVE A CROWN OF THORNS
Recognize this tune?
Look, check it out...
Ah, I messed it up.
Sorry, I just...
...I think it needs more practice to be perfect.
Let's see here...
Look, look.
HOW DO I KNOW IF SOMETHING IS A MIRACLE?
I'm sure you'll remember
IF YOU'RE ASKING, THEN IT'S
DEFINITELY NOT A MIRACLE
Look...
You're not looking.
You're not looking at me, come on.
Norberto!
Please Norberto, for the love of God...
Why do you insist that I watch you
do something wrong over and over again?
Do you really require attention
every single blasted second of the day?
I need
to think for two minutes...
Please.
I'm off to work.
Good night.
Good night.
What happened?
If you think about it...
it could still be a miracle.
It's all a matter of perspective.
It might be...
...or it might not be.
If you want it to be a miracle...
then it is.
Who's going to tell you otherwise?
At the end of the day, it's all one big mystery.
Nobody actually knows anything.
Is the wind really just the wind?
Are the sheets just sheets?
Or is there something else that we're not seeing?
Are we what what we think we are?
Or...
- or do we think that--
- I got it, Norberto
Are we missing anything?
A fresh coat of paint.
Watch the steps.
Keep going.
Slower. I can't walk that fast.
Shoo, get out of here.
Out!
Okay.
It'll work.
Let's see, Norberto...
Try it. Action.
So then Alicia will say...
"Oh, it can't be!"
Try something different.
Another will say...
I don't know, "Wow"
And Viviana, "It's a sign, a sign"
That's it!
Good.
And as for me...
I could be over here.
"Ladies, you don't know what just happened.
I was cleaning and all of a sudden--"
It's missing something... heavenly.
Hello, yes. How are you?
Let me ask you something.
Do you sell flowers in bulk?
Can I pay in installments?
Okay...
Cash will do.
Do you deliver to Santa Rita?
All right...
I'll pick them up myself then.
Listen...
What do you have in white?
No. I'm still here, I'm still here.
No, no.
White roses are for the dead.
Daisies?
At this hotel they do a raffle...
and first prize is a helicopter ride for two.
Must be amazing.
Should we do milanesas again tonight?
Rita had asked for a miracle...
And God answered her call.
One night, in the year 1417...
three saints appeared before her.
St. Nicolas of Tolentino, St. Augustine
and St. John the Baptist.
Full of light, they led her through
the streets of Roccaporena...
until they arrived to the top of a mountain.
They took her to the edge of a cliff,
and once there, pushed her off.
But instead of falling, Rita began to levitate.
Like a feather, she flew above her town...
until she reached the Acacia Monastery.
The nuns could not believe what they were seeing.
At last, they understood that Rita had been chosen by God...
Neighbor, please! Give me a ride.
Are you fucking kidding?
You piece of shit!
They welcomed Rita with open arms.
Rita remained at the monastery until her death...
in the year 1457.
"ROADTRIP MIXTAPE"
Norberto?
Norberto?
Hey.
Norber--
Norberto...
Bless you, Ivan.
Wait, wait!
Wait, don't leave!
Don't leave!
Wait, wait, wait!
Wait, please.
Excuse me.
Please!
I'm not assigned to your case.
You're not going to want my help, ma'am.
Yes, I will!
Yes, I will.
Hello?
Hello, can you hear me?
Rita?
Rita Lopez?
Are you Rita Lopez?
Hello?
Yes.
That's me.
Aren't you...
...an angel?
"Angel"
Angel?
No, no. "Angel"
"Angel"
Yes.
It means angel in English.
Aren't you the son of Juanita Fatur?
Not here.
Meet me inside the train station in an hour.
Sorry, my mom got on my case over the printer ink.
Give me a sec.
"Dear Rita Lopez:
We are very excited to inform you
that you have been selected to go to Heaven.
The selection committee has reviewed
all of your actions throughout your life...
and has determined that you are:
"industrious, devoted, and mostly well-intentioned."
Therefore, we invite you to be a member
of the prestigious and exclusive Pantheon of Saints.
Rita Lopez: do you accept this invitation?"
Yes, I accept.
"Now that you have decided
to become a part of the kingdom
there are a few simple steps
that you will need to follow
to ensure an easy and joyful
ascension into heaven."
Lemme see...
Not this part.
Here.
"First, you will have to choose
one of our two celestial options:
The Express Package or the Premium Package.
Which package do you choose?"
What's the difference?
All right, well...
The Express Package has a super fast ascension rate.
Meaning you get to Heaven crazy fast.
In five to ten minutes, max.
What about the Premium one?
The Premium Package is really great
and much harder to get...
but it comes with everything.
You get:
"Canonization by the Pope.
Globally recognized Sainthood.
You can perform miracles.
Heal the sick, appear in the sky, etc.
You get unlimited time travel.
Unlimited space travel."
And more. It's definitely the most comprehensive.
Well, then... I'll take Premium.
Great! I am contractually required to inform you...
that the Premium Package has
a much slower ascension time.
How much slower?
Well, since it's our most popular option,
I'd say you're looking at around...
24 to 72 hours.
That's fine. I'll go with Premium.
Ok, let's see then. Premium, Premium...
Here it is.
"Congratulations!
Now that you'll become a Premium member,
we ask that you await your ascension
under the following terms and conditions.
To simplify things
We've summed it up into 5 simple steps:
One - Wait for your glow.
Your skin will glow to indicate
that you are about to ascend.
Two.
A celestial representative wil be assigned to you
to accompany you to your place of death.
In other words, your departure point.
Three - No wandering.
Failure to be at your departure point before your
glow expires may result in Attachment.
Attachment occurs when someone
exceeds their assigned waiting period
and therefore, must return
to the physical realm.
Once the glow burns out, the person will be
irreversibly attached to a nearby physical entity.
This can be: an object, an animal, particles of--"
There's an illustration here.
But it's actually really simple.
When you start to glow,
follow your angel,
and go to the departure point,
and that's it.
You remember where you died, right?
Yes. I drowned in the creek--
Drowning sucks. But, it's also great...
because it's easier to remember where.
"Four:
Once there, wait for your glow to burn out
and you'll be automatically
ascended into Heaven.
Five - Don't forget to have fun!
You're only ascended into Heaven once.
Do you confirm that you have understood
and agreed to these terms and conditions?
Yes, I confirm.
We suggest that you use this waiting period
to safely say goodbye to loved ones.
Keep a safe distance and when in doubt...
don't get involved."
Listen, if you want to leave them a message
just speak into their ear while they sleep
They'll hear me?
Reception's bad but it's worth a try.
"We're looking forward to celebrating
every single one of your accomplishments.
The kingdom awaits you with open arms.
And now, time to celebrate!
We thank you for choosing us
and once again, congratulations."
If I do something wrong...
can my admission to heaven be revoked?
No one's really watching you anymore.
Son of a bitch. I forgot to certify
Perfect.
See you.
Goodbye.
Let's pray for Rita...
For her soul. May she find peace.
No...
Forget about it, girl.
The way that poor woman worked...
I...
I think...
that Rita is probably laughing her ass off
up there in heaven.
Ladies...
Let's pray for Norberto.
Poor Norberto.
He must feel so alone.
He doesn't have children...
or grandchildren...
She was never the same after that.
Maybe Rita blamed him...
Or maybe...
he blamed her.
You never know.
Ladies, come on.
Let's start praying
before these mosquitos kill us.
- Yes.
- Alright, let's pray.
Okay.
In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit
Amen.
Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with--
Alicia!
She can't breathe! Alicia!
What's going on?
Take a deep breath, there you go.
The light from your shining face...
...will iluminate...
The light from your
shining face will illuminate--
Psst, Rita...
Other side, Rita.
Quique?
Is that you?
Of course, Rita. At the time,
they told me it was a system error.
That it happens every now and then, unfortunately.
I didn't even see the glow.
I was standing right there,
underneath where I am now...
I was listening to Beba sing, you know?
Just one last time, before departing.
Turns out, I'd been glowing for over an hour.
It burned out, just like that. I felt...
I felt a sort of shiver. And then I was stuck.
Listen, I wouldn't worry about it.
This was back in '84. Ancient history.
Nowadays...
They have a new system that's top notch.
You can see the glow from kilometers away.
They even send someone to take you by the hand...
No... Just relax.
You won't have any problems.
And how have you been holding up?
I'm...
convinced that when she smokes,
she can feel like I'm around, you know?
I didn't know she smoked.
You know, I didn't either...
And now that I think about it...
I've seen a lot of broken lights around town.
Are they all like you?
No, no... Let's not get carried away.
Most lights are... only that. Lights.
Do you remember Elenita?
Elenita... I forgot her last name.
Elenita...
The baker's mother?
The one with that little house...
- by to the antenna, you know the one?
- Elenita Tisano.
That's right. Elenita Tisano, yes.
So she got stuck without realizing it,
just like I did, you know?
- But she can't talk to anyone. Not a word.
- How awful.
No, no, no. Listen...
She got stuck to the wind.
The entire wind? Or...
- Or a particular breeze?
- No, right. A particular breeze, Rita.
Last we heard, she had been swept away...
and now she's by Gualeguaych.
You know, around there...
And that afterwards, she was going to head North
Because she's never been. Salta, Jujuy, all those--
Well, well...
Look who decided to show up...
Where were you yesterday, you old bastard?
Luchito, look who's here...
It's Rita Lopez.
Oh, yeah, sure. How are you Rita?
Good to see you again. So...
Last night I didn't come
because I was at the Otamendi's...
Things got real heated. Listen to this.
Tell me, tell me.
Turns out Jorge found Chicho's lighter
in Liliana's pants. So he says...
"Who's lighter is this?"
So then Liliana just spills the beans, you know?
That Chicho treats her better.
That Jorge has become a bum, she said.
Then she says: "I think we should break up"
No, I can't believe it...
Come on, keep going.
It was such a ruckus that the neighbors--
Ouch, fuck! Man, come on.
Stop, Lucho, stop.
Lucho, snap out of it.
- Ow, motherfucker! Stupid light...
- Let's not do this again.
- What's going on?
- You're going to get burned, man.
- Everything's fine, Rita, it's all good--
- Son of a bitch! Turn off for a second, you're--
- If he's distracted, he could get burned.
Goodbye, Beba.
Don't fix the light.
Is anybody there?
You're okay, Alicia.
When I first saw you
I didn't recognize your face
you seemed like a stranger so I became afraid...
In the darkness
I lost my way
and could not find the horizon
without your guidance...
The light from your shining face...
will illuminate
all the roads to eternity...
The light from your shining face...
I'm sorry. Traffic was a mess.
We'll do an express prayer,
I have to keep moving, okay?
It can't be.
Wow...
It's a sign from Rita.
No, no...
This is no sign...
It's a miracle.
"DO NOT TOUCH"
What are you doing, Norberto?
Maybe he's a little tired, right?
Go get some rest.
The sandals are not the same.
This one has shoes...
And this one has sandals.
Alicia...
It's four in the morning.
How can I help you?
The statue that is in the chapel
is not the one
that was missing.
No, sir.
It's a fake.
I don't know why she did it...
But I know she did it.
I'm going have to tell Father Eduardo.
Your wife...
may she rest in peace
is going to have to explain herself to the Lord.
It's a monstrosity.
To fake a miracle like that.
It wasn't Rita.
It was me.
What?
I found a statue that looked similar...
I painted its face
and I put it in the chapel.
But why, Norberto?
I don't know...
I wanted people to know how good Rita was.
She was...
a good person.
I thought that...
that a little miracle would...
I don't know.
People already knew she was a good person.
And what about the others?
All the people this affects?
Believing in that miracle?
Alright...
I won't say a word...
But you...
...get rid of that statue.
Hide it. Take it somewhere far away.
Make it disappear.
You need to do what's right.
And don't even think about
coming back to the chapel afterwards.
Take some time to straighten yourself out.
Safe travels.
Can you pick me up?
Okay.
What are you doing?
You're going to get stuck.
I want to go back.
Ouch. Fuck.
Wow...
Beautiful.
So you think she was doing it on purpose?
- You know she's always doing things for attention.
- She's not like that...
You think the light just happened to hit her that way?
I don't think so. It was a coincidence...
What are you doing Rita?
We're about to start.
I'm just grateful.
Grateful to have you all, such strong and brave ladies
Grateful for this beautiful place. No, really...
Out. Come on.
Ok, lets's begin then.
No, no. We're missing Rita.
Quit mopping so much...
...or those shiny floors will end up blinding us. Come.
Join us, come on.
Take a little break.
All right...
Shall we start?
Yes.
Yes.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit...
Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with you...
Blessed are you among women
and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners.
Now and the hour of our...
Hello.
Come pick me up.
Come on...
Tell me.
No.
Last time I told you...
...you ruined the surprise.
Look at that...
What happened?
They're dancing.
What?
What are you showing me?
The wind?
Right, of course...
Could be.
You brought the car, right?
Why didn't you leave it in the chapel?
Because, Norberto...
I have to prepare the surprise.
Speaking of surprises...
- ...I have one.
- Let's go, Norberto.
Come on.
"THE LOST STATUE OF SANTA RITA"
30 YEARS WITHOUT THE SANTA RITA STATUE
THE MYSTERY OF SANTA RITA
SANTA RITA: THEFT OR NEGLIGENCE?
THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THE TOWN STATUE
You have to see this!
Are you there?
You're not looking...
They look like the ones from our honeymoon.
Because they are the ones from our honeymoon.
See if it fits...
Why not?
Because it's not going to fit.
Fine...
I'll make milanesas a different night, then...
Well?
Let's see it.
You haven't changed a bit.
And now...
...the real test.
No, no. Are you crazy?
Are you crazy?
No!
It's water...
Water.
When I found them, I thought...
"Would you look at that?"
So I started to count the cash we have...
I think we have enough to go see the waterfalls.
Why?
Why not?
Because we've already seen them.
Yes...
...40 years ago.
Well, the waterfalls are still the exact same.
But we're not.
So, that's a no?
A-ha...
I know you...
You're considering it.
Don't go into the shed.
Alright...
I'm off to work.
Good night.
When did you put that photo there?
Which one?
Your mother's.
Today...
Why?
But her anniversary is still far off...
Did something happen?
No.
Okay...
Good night.
Good night.
Get out!
...when I first saw you...
...I didn't recognize your face...
...you seemed like a stranger so I became afraid...
In the darkness...
...I lost my way...
...and could not find the horizon...
...without your guidance.
The light from your shining face...
...will illuminate...
...all the paths...
...that lead to eternity.
And if I disappeared...
...you would find me...
...with the light from your shining face...
...you would illuminate me.
- One more time! Again!
- Oh, Father...
It's new. We're just rehearsing...
Please, Beba. Your fans are going wild.
- You think so?
- Come on!
Okay. Let's go. Again.
Thank you.
When you refer to a sacred object, do you mean...
a rosary?
A cross?
Or a painting or something like that, right?
Yes, something like that, Father.
And you said that it had disappeared...
...this object?
Yes, yes...
...disappeared, Father.
And it suddenly appeared? Out of the blue?
Just like that? On its own?
Yes, just like that, Father.
Rita...
This seems just too similar to what
happened with the Virgin of Lujn.
Yes, Father.
So then...
...it's not a sign?
We're ready, Father.
Coming!
Last night I had...
...once again that prophetic dream, Rita.
I was being called up to a huge stage...
I'm talking about thousands of people, Rita.
They were there...
...waiting. And they were staring...
And I didn't know what to say.
Not a single word would come out of my mouth, Rita.
Now I finally understand what I must say...
If all of this happened the way you say it did...
This is not a sign.
It is a miracle!
Therefore...
...it would be the most important thing...
...that's ever happened to this town. By far!
And to think that it's the two of us, Rita...
...that have been chosen by the Lord
to deliver this news to the world.
How astonishing!
Father...
I don't want to, in any way, to seem...
Rita.
Rita. This goes way beyond
our fears and insecurities.
It is our duty.
Understand?
Alright, I've got to get going.
I have another mass in La Ernestina.
Show me this sacred object next week, okay?
Ah! Make sure it makes an impact.
I want to show it to the bishop.
And I absolve you in the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
SANTA RITA STATUE: 30 YEARS MISSING
WHAT TO DO IF YOU EXPERIENCE A MIRACLE
"HERE'S A PHOTO OF MY FIRST COMMUNION. KISSES"
"THE YOUNGEST BEHAVES LIKE A QUEEN"
BEBA: "YOU SHOULD START A PRESCHOOL
WITH ALL THOSE KIDS HAHAHA"
"ARGENTINA'S WHITNEY HUSTON HAHA"
"IN SEARCH OF ELECTRICIAN
TO FIX BROKEN LIGHT"
VIVIANA: "BEAUTIFUL, BEBA"
LILIANA: "YOU'VE NEVER AGED!"
FATHER EDUARDO: "PART TIME SINGER
AND PART TIME LION TAMER LOL"
ALICIA: "TOO BLURRY"
CAN SANTA RITA STATUE
HAVE A CROWN OF THORNS?
SANTA RITA WOULD NEVER
HAVE A CROWN OF THORNS
Recognize this tune?
Look, check it out...
Ah, I messed it up.
Sorry, I just...
...I think it needs more practice to be perfect.
Let's see here...
Look, look.
HOW DO I KNOW IF SOMETHING IS A MIRACLE?
I'm sure you'll remember
IF YOU'RE ASKING, THEN IT'S
DEFINITELY NOT A MIRACLE
Look...
You're not looking.
You're not looking at me, come on.
Norberto!
Please Norberto, for the love of God...
Why do you insist that I watch you
do something wrong over and over again?
Do you really require attention
every single blasted second of the day?
I need
to think for two minutes...
Please.
I'm off to work.
Good night.
Good night.
What happened?
If you think about it...
it could still be a miracle.
It's all a matter of perspective.
It might be...
...or it might not be.
If you want it to be a miracle...
then it is.
Who's going to tell you otherwise?
At the end of the day, it's all one big mystery.
Nobody actually knows anything.
Is the wind really just the wind?
Are the sheets just sheets?
Or is there something else that we're not seeing?
Are we what what we think we are?
Or...
- or do we think that--
- I got it, Norberto
Are we missing anything?
A fresh coat of paint.
Watch the steps.
Keep going.
Slower. I can't walk that fast.
Shoo, get out of here.
Out!
Okay.
It'll work.
Let's see, Norberto...
Try it. Action.
So then Alicia will say...
"Oh, it can't be!"
Try something different.
Another will say...
I don't know, "Wow"
And Viviana, "It's a sign, a sign"
That's it!
Good.
And as for me...
I could be over here.
"Ladies, you don't know what just happened.
I was cleaning and all of a sudden--"
It's missing something... heavenly.
Hello, yes. How are you?
Let me ask you something.
Do you sell flowers in bulk?
Can I pay in installments?
Okay...
Cash will do.
Do you deliver to Santa Rita?
All right...
I'll pick them up myself then.
Listen...
What do you have in white?
No. I'm still here, I'm still here.
No, no.
White roses are for the dead.
Daisies?
At this hotel they do a raffle...
and first prize is a helicopter ride for two.
Must be amazing.
Should we do milanesas again tonight?
Rita had asked for a miracle...
And God answered her call.
One night, in the year 1417...
three saints appeared before her.
St. Nicolas of Tolentino, St. Augustine
and St. John the Baptist.
Full of light, they led her through
the streets of Roccaporena...
until they arrived to the top of a mountain.
They took her to the edge of a cliff,
and once there, pushed her off.
But instead of falling, Rita began to levitate.
Like a feather, she flew above her town...
until she reached the Acacia Monastery.
The nuns could not believe what they were seeing.
At last, they understood that Rita had been chosen by God...
Neighbor, please! Give me a ride.
Are you fucking kidding?
You piece of shit!
They welcomed Rita with open arms.
Rita remained at the monastery until her death...
in the year 1457.
"ROADTRIP MIXTAPE"
Norberto?
Norberto?
Hey.
Norber--
Norberto...
Bless you, Ivan.
Wait, wait!
Wait, don't leave!
Don't leave!
Wait, wait, wait!
Wait, please.
Excuse me.
Please!
I'm not assigned to your case.
You're not going to want my help, ma'am.
Yes, I will!
Yes, I will.
Hello?
Hello, can you hear me?
Rita?
Rita Lopez?
Are you Rita Lopez?
Hello?
Yes.
That's me.
Aren't you...
...an angel?
"Angel"
Angel?
No, no. "Angel"
"Angel"
Yes.
It means angel in English.
Aren't you the son of Juanita Fatur?
Not here.
Meet me inside the train station in an hour.
Sorry, my mom got on my case over the printer ink.
Give me a sec.
"Dear Rita Lopez:
We are very excited to inform you
that you have been selected to go to Heaven.
The selection committee has reviewed
all of your actions throughout your life...
and has determined that you are:
"industrious, devoted, and mostly well-intentioned."
Therefore, we invite you to be a member
of the prestigious and exclusive Pantheon of Saints.
Rita Lopez: do you accept this invitation?"
Yes, I accept.
"Now that you have decided
to become a part of the kingdom
there are a few simple steps
that you will need to follow
to ensure an easy and joyful
ascension into heaven."
Lemme see...
Not this part.
Here.
"First, you will have to choose
one of our two celestial options:
The Express Package or the Premium Package.
Which package do you choose?"
What's the difference?
All right, well...
The Express Package has a super fast ascension rate.
Meaning you get to Heaven crazy fast.
In five to ten minutes, max.
What about the Premium one?
The Premium Package is really great
and much harder to get...
but it comes with everything.
You get:
"Canonization by the Pope.
Globally recognized Sainthood.
You can perform miracles.
Heal the sick, appear in the sky, etc.
You get unlimited time travel.
Unlimited space travel."
And more. It's definitely the most comprehensive.
Well, then... I'll take Premium.
Great! I am contractually required to inform you...
that the Premium Package has
a much slower ascension time.
How much slower?
Well, since it's our most popular option,
I'd say you're looking at around...
24 to 72 hours.
That's fine. I'll go with Premium.
Ok, let's see then. Premium, Premium...
Here it is.
"Congratulations!
Now that you'll become a Premium member,
we ask that you await your ascension
under the following terms and conditions.
To simplify things
We've summed it up into 5 simple steps:
One - Wait for your glow.
Your skin will glow to indicate
that you are about to ascend.
Two.
A celestial representative wil be assigned to you
to accompany you to your place of death.
In other words, your departure point.
Three - No wandering.
Failure to be at your departure point before your
glow expires may result in Attachment.
Attachment occurs when someone
exceeds their assigned waiting period
and therefore, must return
to the physical realm.
Once the glow burns out, the person will be
irreversibly attached to a nearby physical entity.
This can be: an object, an animal, particles of--"
There's an illustration here.
But it's actually really simple.
When you start to glow,
follow your angel,
and go to the departure point,
and that's it.
You remember where you died, right?
Yes. I drowned in the creek--
Drowning sucks. But, it's also great...
because it's easier to remember where.
"Four:
Once there, wait for your glow to burn out
and you'll be automatically
ascended into Heaven.
Five - Don't forget to have fun!
You're only ascended into Heaven once.
Do you confirm that you have understood
and agreed to these terms and conditions?
Yes, I confirm.
We suggest that you use this waiting period
to safely say goodbye to loved ones.
Keep a safe distance and when in doubt...
don't get involved."
Listen, if you want to leave them a message
just speak into their ear while they sleep
They'll hear me?
Reception's bad but it's worth a try.
"We're looking forward to celebrating
every single one of your accomplishments.
The kingdom awaits you with open arms.
And now, time to celebrate!
We thank you for choosing us
and once again, congratulations."
If I do something wrong...
can my admission to heaven be revoked?
No one's really watching you anymore.
Son of a bitch. I forgot to certify
Perfect.
See you.
Goodbye.
Let's pray for Rita...
For her soul. May she find peace.
No...
Forget about it, girl.
The way that poor woman worked...
I...
I think...
that Rita is probably laughing her ass off
up there in heaven.
Ladies...
Let's pray for Norberto.
Poor Norberto.
He must feel so alone.
He doesn't have children...
or grandchildren...
She was never the same after that.
Maybe Rita blamed him...
Or maybe...
he blamed her.
You never know.
Ladies, come on.
Let's start praying
before these mosquitos kill us.
- Yes.
- Alright, let's pray.
Okay.
In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit
Amen.
Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with--
Alicia!
She can't breathe! Alicia!
What's going on?
Take a deep breath, there you go.
The light from your shining face...
...will iluminate...
The light from your
shining face will illuminate--
Psst, Rita...
Other side, Rita.
Quique?
Is that you?
Of course, Rita. At the time,
they told me it was a system error.
That it happens every now and then, unfortunately.
I didn't even see the glow.
I was standing right there,
underneath where I am now...
I was listening to Beba sing, you know?
Just one last time, before departing.
Turns out, I'd been glowing for over an hour.
It burned out, just like that. I felt...
I felt a sort of shiver. And then I was stuck.
Listen, I wouldn't worry about it.
This was back in '84. Ancient history.
Nowadays...
They have a new system that's top notch.
You can see the glow from kilometers away.
They even send someone to take you by the hand...
No... Just relax.
You won't have any problems.
And how have you been holding up?
I'm...
convinced that when she smokes,
she can feel like I'm around, you know?
I didn't know she smoked.
You know, I didn't either...
And now that I think about it...
I've seen a lot of broken lights around town.
Are they all like you?
No, no... Let's not get carried away.
Most lights are... only that. Lights.
Do you remember Elenita?
Elenita... I forgot her last name.
Elenita...
The baker's mother?
The one with that little house...
- by to the antenna, you know the one?
- Elenita Tisano.
That's right. Elenita Tisano, yes.
So she got stuck without realizing it,
just like I did, you know?
- But she can't talk to anyone. Not a word.
- How awful.
No, no, no. Listen...
She got stuck to the wind.
The entire wind? Or...
- Or a particular breeze?
- No, right. A particular breeze, Rita.
Last we heard, she had been swept away...
and now she's by Gualeguaych.
You know, around there...
And that afterwards, she was going to head North
Because she's never been. Salta, Jujuy, all those--
Well, well...
Look who decided to show up...
Where were you yesterday, you old bastard?
Luchito, look who's here...
It's Rita Lopez.
Oh, yeah, sure. How are you Rita?
Good to see you again. So...
Last night I didn't come
because I was at the Otamendi's...
Things got real heated. Listen to this.
Tell me, tell me.
Turns out Jorge found Chicho's lighter
in Liliana's pants. So he says...
"Who's lighter is this?"
So then Liliana just spills the beans, you know?
That Chicho treats her better.
That Jorge has become a bum, she said.
Then she says: "I think we should break up"
No, I can't believe it...
Come on, keep going.
It was such a ruckus that the neighbors--
Ouch, fuck! Man, come on.
Stop, Lucho, stop.
Lucho, snap out of it.
- Ow, motherfucker! Stupid light...
- Let's not do this again.
- What's going on?
- You're going to get burned, man.
- Everything's fine, Rita, it's all good--
- Son of a bitch! Turn off for a second, you're--
- If he's distracted, he could get burned.
Goodbye, Beba.
Don't fix the light.
Is anybody there?
You're okay, Alicia.
When I first saw you
I didn't recognize your face
you seemed like a stranger so I became afraid...
In the darkness
I lost my way
and could not find the horizon
without your guidance...
The light from your shining face...
will illuminate
all the roads to eternity...
The light from your shining face...
I'm sorry. Traffic was a mess.
We'll do an express prayer,
I have to keep moving, okay?
It can't be.
Wow...
It's a sign from Rita.
No, no...
This is no sign...
It's a miracle.
"DO NOT TOUCH"
What are you doing, Norberto?
Maybe he's a little tired, right?
Go get some rest.
The sandals are not the same.
This one has shoes...
And this one has sandals.
Alicia...
It's four in the morning.
How can I help you?
The statue that is in the chapel
is not the one
that was missing.
No, sir.
It's a fake.
I don't know why she did it...
But I know she did it.
I'm going have to tell Father Eduardo.
Your wife...
may she rest in peace
is going to have to explain herself to the Lord.
It's a monstrosity.
To fake a miracle like that.
It wasn't Rita.
It was me.
What?
I found a statue that looked similar...
I painted its face
and I put it in the chapel.
But why, Norberto?
I don't know...
I wanted people to know how good Rita was.
She was...
a good person.
I thought that...
that a little miracle would...
I don't know.
People already knew she was a good person.
And what about the others?
All the people this affects?
Believing in that miracle?
Alright...
I won't say a word...
But you...
...get rid of that statue.
Hide it. Take it somewhere far away.
Make it disappear.
You need to do what's right.
And don't even think about
coming back to the chapel afterwards.
Take some time to straighten yourself out.
Safe travels.
Can you pick me up?
Okay.
What are you doing?
You're going to get stuck.
I want to go back.
Ouch. Fuck.