Club sandwich (2013) Movie Script
1
All done.
Finished.
Good. Now we just have
to wait till it soaks in.
No, don't. You're going
to stick to the bed.
-No, this one takes five.
What about the red one?
The red bikini.
You don't like anymore?
I like this one more.re.
I don't.
I don't like yours either.
You bought them for me.
For swimming class.
They're too small for you now.
I like them.
And I like mine.
It's empty.
It's low season.
It's cheaper.
Want to go for a swim?
-No, again.
-No, spank.
No, my turn.
Bitter?
Hemorrhoids.
Ok, go.
Fart?
Your turn.
I can't stand it when
you call me honey-bun.
-To the bathroom.
-Lift the seat if you pee.
-Okay.
Prince?
What about it?
Why do you like Prince?
Because he's a great musician.
Because he's sexy.
Him
He's sexy.
Him, his music,
all of it is sexy.
Am I sexy?
Yes.
In a different way.
What do you mean?
You are sexy.
Not like Prince,
but in your own way.
Do you know what you're having?
A club sandwich. You?
A sandwich.
Club?
No, just a sandwich.
And to drink?
A chocolate shake?
Why don't you order
a club sandwich?
Too much bread.
-It's fattening.
You're not fat.
Thanks.
Can I have your pickles?
Can I have your tomatoes?
It's disgusting.
-You're disgusting.
-I know.
-Ouch!
-Sorry.
-I don't know.
Have you ever squeezed
anyone else's?
No, just yours.
-Never.
-Because they're disgusting.
-You're my son.
-Nothing about you disgusts me.
Fucking mosquito!
Why don't they bite you?
Let's go up.
They're going to eat me alive.
Ten... nine...
...eight... seven...
...six... five...
...four... three...
...two... All done.
Two out of three.
-One more minute.
-Two out of three. Go on.
-Don't wet the floor.
I won't.
I'll be right back.
Where are you going?
For a walk.
Don't be long.
I won't.
Don't wet the floor.
-I won't.
What?
Why don't you wear the
boxers I bought you?
I like my Y-fronts.
-They're hideous.
-I like them.
What?
Nothing. I like looking at you.
Hector!
-You are growing a mustache.
-No.
-I swear.
-No.
-Touch it.
-No.
-No.
-Go on.
-All right.
Enough...
That's enough!
I want to go to sleep!
All right.
Goodnight.
-Night.
Love you.
-Me too.
Should I shave it?
Best not to.
It'll only grow back thicker.
What's wrong?
It's the bed.
What about it?
-There's a spring.
A what?
A spring.
Yes.
You're right. It's a bastard.
Which side do you want?
Hec-tor...
Hec-tor...
Hector!
Hector!
How did you sleep?
Like a log.
Two out of three?
Don't wet the floor.
Did you hear me?
I heard you.
Are you sure?
Ok.
Don't forget your sunblock
if you go out.
Hey...
Hey...
You got burned.
Now we just have to
wait till it soaks in.
Jazmin.
HectHector.
Who are you here with?
My mom.
And your dad?
No what?
I don't have one.
It's cool.
Thanks.
So why did you
come to this hotel?
It was a promotion.
Why at this time of year?
The promotion.
I think it's dry now.
No, not yet.
This was my mom and
dad's favorite hotel.
I was conceived here.
Here?
Room 306.
Right here?
I think it's dry now.
Yes, it's dry.
Apply it three times a day.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
How long?
I don't know.
Two, three hours?
I don't know. I fell asleep.
I told you not to
forget the sunblock.
Does it hurt?
Yes.
Are you hungry?
Yes.
Club sandwich?
No, quesadillas.
Where was I made?
What?
You and him...
Where did you make me?
I don't know, Hector.
It wasn't special?
No...
I mean... Yes...
...yes, it was special.
Then why don't you remember?
-You can't remember every time.
Because people have sex
lots of times, Hector.
Some people remember.
Some people don't fuck much.
-Hector!
Mom?
Mom...
Mom...
-Nothing. You were having a nightmare.
Why don't you go to the beach?
I'm not leaving you all
burned out like that.
-Mom.
-For better or for worse.
What have you got?
A pair.
Three of a kind.
10, 11, 14, 15 plus 8 is 23...
24, 25 times 2 is 50.
Your turn.
-No.
-No.
Two points.
Is there nothing else on?
No.
Do you want me to change it?
Mom.
What?
Can you change it?
I'm watching it.
Mom.
Mom.
It's hot, isn't it?
Yes. Very.
What if we turn the A/C on?
It sets off my allergies.
The A/C?
I wasn't breast fed...
...and when you're not breast fed,
you're more susceptible to allergies.
What bed do you think
you were made in?
This one.
What?
Nothing.
I think it's dry now.
Yes, it's dry now.
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
Two out of three?
You shower first if you want.
Love you.
Me too.
-To the bathroom.
-Lift the seat if you pee.
-Okay.
-Hi.
-Hi.
May I come in?
My dad and Consuelo are here.
I'll meet you at the
pool in ten minutes.
Here in ten minutes.
They're not going out.
What about your room?
-Bye.
-Bye.
-Hi.
-Hi.
May I?
Do I smell bad?
No, it's just that
this one is more...
...masculine.
Don't you want to try it on?
It's hot, isn't it?
Very.
Do you want to watch TV?
Nope.
Hi.
I'm Paloma.
Jazmin.
Nice to meet you, Jazmin.
Nice to meet you, ma'am.
Don't call me ma'am.
Nice to meet you, Paloma.
What are you guys up to?
Nothing.
Aren't you hot?
Don't you want to
turn the A/C on?
She's allergic.
To the air conditioning?
See you later?
Nice to meet you, Paloma.
You too, Jazmin.
What's that smell?
Jazmin what?
How old is she?
In this one.
Where are you going?
-We're having dinner with them.
-Mom.
Dad.
Vega... what else?
Vega Sanchez.
When did you turn sixteen?
January 31st.
Do you like high school?
How long you've been married?
Six months.
What kind of music do you like?
A bit of everything.
Rock?
No, not so much.
Hector's taking drum classes.
Aren't you?
It's very hot here, isn't it?
Good thing that it
cools down at night.
It's weird. That she
doesn't like music.
She doesn't like rock.
And if we go upstairs?
To your room?
My dad is there.
What about your room?
My mom is there.
And if we swim?
Want to swim?
I'm going for a walk.
Are you coming?
In a bit.
-See you.
-Bye.
Do you like her?
I guess...
You guess?
I guess she's okay.
We have to talk.
Ok, so maybe you
don't like her so much...
...but things can happen...
...something can happen,
you know?
...and...
...I mean if... if...
...if something happens you have
to take care of yourself, Hector.
There are things you can
use to take care of yourself
but the best thing is...
The condom.
Exactly.
The condom.
Are you sure?
Just a club sandwich.
-Nothing.
Can you get me a beer and
a glass of milk, please?
I don't want milk.
Thanks.
You can't sleep on
an empty stomach.
I don't want milk.
What are you up
to for tomorrow?
Nothing.
What do you mean, nothing?
Yes, nothing.
-You're going to drink that milk.
-No.
I'm not asking you. You're going
to drink that fucking milk!
We're going to the beach.
I don't want to.
I'm going to brush my teeth
and I'll meet you at ten.
Who's coming for a swim?
I don't like swimming.
Hector?
In a bit.
It is delicious.
Fucking mosquito!
Thanks.
When are you leaving?
Tomorrow.
They moved the date
of my dad's surgery up.
A tequila, please.
-Mom.
We should make
a goodbye toast.
So what do you feel like doing?
Punishments?
Whoever gets the highest card
gets to decide the punishment...
...and the person with the lowest card
is the one who gets punished. Okay?
-Ten.
-Seven.
Three.
Your punishment is to...
...dance.
Dance?
Yes, dance.
What do you want me to dance?
Something sexy.
Ten.
Two.
Three.
Your punishment is...
..."Death in Hawaii".
Mom.
You have to sing
"Death in Hawaii".
I've fought
With crocodiles
I've balanced on a wire
Carrying 500 kilos
I've traveled around the
World in less than a second
Crossed 100 labyrinths
And never got lost
-Mom.
The chorus, Hector.
For you, everything I do,
I do for you
You bring out
The best in me
I am what I am
Because you're everything
I've ever wanted
Seven.
Uh! Queen.
Six.
Your punishment is...
...to leave.
Only kidding!
It was just a joke.
Your punishment is to...
imitate a seal.
I don't want to play anymore.
Don't be a spoiled sport.
Go on.
Nine.
Three.
Seven.
Your punishment
is going to be...
...to go get some
potato chips.
There are none here.
Yes, there are. Go find them.
I've fought
With crocodiles
I've balanced on a wire
Carrying 500 kilos
I've traveled around the
World in less than a second
Crossed 100 labyrinths
And never got lost
Breathed in and out
Of the water like seals
I'm bulletproof,
I catch bullets with my mouth
My creativity soars
Like airplanes
I can build a brain
Without instructions
I speak every language
Of every alphabet
I have a bigger vocabulary
Than any dictionary
I have the sight of an eagle,
The sense of smell of a dog
I can walk barefoot
Over iron nails
I am immune to death
I do not need blessings
Because
I always have good luck
Come with me to take
A walk around the park
Because I have more stories to
Tell you than Garca Mrquez
For you, everything I do,
I do for you
Because you bring out
The best in me
I am everything that I am
Because you are everything
That I want
For you, everything I do,
I do for you
Because you bring out
The best in me
I am everything that I am
Because you are everything
That I want
I can jump rope
With only one leg
I can see in the dark
Without a flashlight
I can cook whatever you want
I am a chef
I have sex 24/7 all month
I can blow away
The gray clouds
so you'll have a good day
I also know how to communicate
Telepathically
For you, I will cross
Borders without a visa
And bring out a true smile
From the Mona Lisa
For you, I breathe
Before dying
For you I go to church and listen to
The whole Sermon without sleeping
I continue being King, though
I do not have a kingdom
My sweat smells like perfume
And my hair is always done
I know how to fight in
All the martial arts
I also know how to
Communicate with the animals
The more time passes,
The younger I look
And I composed this song
Without hearing like Beethoven
For you, everything I do
I do for you
Because you bring out
The best in me
I am everything that I am
Because you are everything
That I want
For you, everything I do
I do for you
Because you bring out
The best in me
I am everything that I am
Because you are everything
That I want
All done.
Finished.
Good. Now we just have
to wait till it soaks in.
No, don't. You're going
to stick to the bed.
-No, this one takes five.
What about the red one?
The red bikini.
You don't like anymore?
I like this one more.re.
I don't.
I don't like yours either.
You bought them for me.
For swimming class.
They're too small for you now.
I like them.
And I like mine.
It's empty.
It's low season.
It's cheaper.
Want to go for a swim?
-No, again.
-No, spank.
No, my turn.
Bitter?
Hemorrhoids.
Ok, go.
Fart?
Your turn.
I can't stand it when
you call me honey-bun.
-To the bathroom.
-Lift the seat if you pee.
-Okay.
Prince?
What about it?
Why do you like Prince?
Because he's a great musician.
Because he's sexy.
Him
He's sexy.
Him, his music,
all of it is sexy.
Am I sexy?
Yes.
In a different way.
What do you mean?
You are sexy.
Not like Prince,
but in your own way.
Do you know what you're having?
A club sandwich. You?
A sandwich.
Club?
No, just a sandwich.
And to drink?
A chocolate shake?
Why don't you order
a club sandwich?
Too much bread.
-It's fattening.
You're not fat.
Thanks.
Can I have your pickles?
Can I have your tomatoes?
It's disgusting.
-You're disgusting.
-I know.
-Ouch!
-Sorry.
-I don't know.
Have you ever squeezed
anyone else's?
No, just yours.
-Never.
-Because they're disgusting.
-You're my son.
-Nothing about you disgusts me.
Fucking mosquito!
Why don't they bite you?
Let's go up.
They're going to eat me alive.
Ten... nine...
...eight... seven...
...six... five...
...four... three...
...two... All done.
Two out of three.
-One more minute.
-Two out of three. Go on.
-Don't wet the floor.
I won't.
I'll be right back.
Where are you going?
For a walk.
Don't be long.
I won't.
Don't wet the floor.
-I won't.
What?
Why don't you wear the
boxers I bought you?
I like my Y-fronts.
-They're hideous.
-I like them.
What?
Nothing. I like looking at you.
Hector!
-You are growing a mustache.
-No.
-I swear.
-No.
-Touch it.
-No.
-No.
-Go on.
-All right.
Enough...
That's enough!
I want to go to sleep!
All right.
Goodnight.
-Night.
Love you.
-Me too.
Should I shave it?
Best not to.
It'll only grow back thicker.
What's wrong?
It's the bed.
What about it?
-There's a spring.
A what?
A spring.
Yes.
You're right. It's a bastard.
Which side do you want?
Hec-tor...
Hec-tor...
Hector!
Hector!
How did you sleep?
Like a log.
Two out of three?
Don't wet the floor.
Did you hear me?
I heard you.
Are you sure?
Ok.
Don't forget your sunblock
if you go out.
Hey...
Hey...
You got burned.
Now we just have to
wait till it soaks in.
Jazmin.
HectHector.
Who are you here with?
My mom.
And your dad?
No what?
I don't have one.
It's cool.
Thanks.
So why did you
come to this hotel?
It was a promotion.
Why at this time of year?
The promotion.
I think it's dry now.
No, not yet.
This was my mom and
dad's favorite hotel.
I was conceived here.
Here?
Room 306.
Right here?
I think it's dry now.
Yes, it's dry.
Apply it three times a day.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
How long?
I don't know.
Two, three hours?
I don't know. I fell asleep.
I told you not to
forget the sunblock.
Does it hurt?
Yes.
Are you hungry?
Yes.
Club sandwich?
No, quesadillas.
Where was I made?
What?
You and him...
Where did you make me?
I don't know, Hector.
It wasn't special?
No...
I mean... Yes...
...yes, it was special.
Then why don't you remember?
-You can't remember every time.
Because people have sex
lots of times, Hector.
Some people remember.
Some people don't fuck much.
-Hector!
Mom?
Mom...
Mom...
-Nothing. You were having a nightmare.
Why don't you go to the beach?
I'm not leaving you all
burned out like that.
-Mom.
-For better or for worse.
What have you got?
A pair.
Three of a kind.
10, 11, 14, 15 plus 8 is 23...
24, 25 times 2 is 50.
Your turn.
-No.
-No.
Two points.
Is there nothing else on?
No.
Do you want me to change it?
Mom.
What?
Can you change it?
I'm watching it.
Mom.
Mom.
It's hot, isn't it?
Yes. Very.
What if we turn the A/C on?
It sets off my allergies.
The A/C?
I wasn't breast fed...
...and when you're not breast fed,
you're more susceptible to allergies.
What bed do you think
you were made in?
This one.
What?
Nothing.
I think it's dry now.
Yes, it's dry now.
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
Two out of three?
You shower first if you want.
Love you.
Me too.
-To the bathroom.
-Lift the seat if you pee.
-Okay.
-Hi.
-Hi.
May I come in?
My dad and Consuelo are here.
I'll meet you at the
pool in ten minutes.
Here in ten minutes.
They're not going out.
What about your room?
-Bye.
-Bye.
-Hi.
-Hi.
May I?
Do I smell bad?
No, it's just that
this one is more...
...masculine.
Don't you want to try it on?
It's hot, isn't it?
Very.
Do you want to watch TV?
Nope.
Hi.
I'm Paloma.
Jazmin.
Nice to meet you, Jazmin.
Nice to meet you, ma'am.
Don't call me ma'am.
Nice to meet you, Paloma.
What are you guys up to?
Nothing.
Aren't you hot?
Don't you want to
turn the A/C on?
She's allergic.
To the air conditioning?
See you later?
Nice to meet you, Paloma.
You too, Jazmin.
What's that smell?
Jazmin what?
How old is she?
In this one.
Where are you going?
-We're having dinner with them.
-Mom.
Dad.
Vega... what else?
Vega Sanchez.
When did you turn sixteen?
January 31st.
Do you like high school?
How long you've been married?
Six months.
What kind of music do you like?
A bit of everything.
Rock?
No, not so much.
Hector's taking drum classes.
Aren't you?
It's very hot here, isn't it?
Good thing that it
cools down at night.
It's weird. That she
doesn't like music.
She doesn't like rock.
And if we go upstairs?
To your room?
My dad is there.
What about your room?
My mom is there.
And if we swim?
Want to swim?
I'm going for a walk.
Are you coming?
In a bit.
-See you.
-Bye.
Do you like her?
I guess...
You guess?
I guess she's okay.
We have to talk.
Ok, so maybe you
don't like her so much...
...but things can happen...
...something can happen,
you know?
...and...
...I mean if... if...
...if something happens you have
to take care of yourself, Hector.
There are things you can
use to take care of yourself
but the best thing is...
The condom.
Exactly.
The condom.
Are you sure?
Just a club sandwich.
-Nothing.
Can you get me a beer and
a glass of milk, please?
I don't want milk.
Thanks.
You can't sleep on
an empty stomach.
I don't want milk.
What are you up
to for tomorrow?
Nothing.
What do you mean, nothing?
Yes, nothing.
-You're going to drink that milk.
-No.
I'm not asking you. You're going
to drink that fucking milk!
We're going to the beach.
I don't want to.
I'm going to brush my teeth
and I'll meet you at ten.
Who's coming for a swim?
I don't like swimming.
Hector?
In a bit.
It is delicious.
Fucking mosquito!
Thanks.
When are you leaving?
Tomorrow.
They moved the date
of my dad's surgery up.
A tequila, please.
-Mom.
We should make
a goodbye toast.
So what do you feel like doing?
Punishments?
Whoever gets the highest card
gets to decide the punishment...
...and the person with the lowest card
is the one who gets punished. Okay?
-Ten.
-Seven.
Three.
Your punishment is to...
...dance.
Dance?
Yes, dance.
What do you want me to dance?
Something sexy.
Ten.
Two.
Three.
Your punishment is...
..."Death in Hawaii".
Mom.
You have to sing
"Death in Hawaii".
I've fought
With crocodiles
I've balanced on a wire
Carrying 500 kilos
I've traveled around the
World in less than a second
Crossed 100 labyrinths
And never got lost
-Mom.
The chorus, Hector.
For you, everything I do,
I do for you
You bring out
The best in me
I am what I am
Because you're everything
I've ever wanted
Seven.
Uh! Queen.
Six.
Your punishment is...
...to leave.
Only kidding!
It was just a joke.
Your punishment is to...
imitate a seal.
I don't want to play anymore.
Don't be a spoiled sport.
Go on.
Nine.
Three.
Seven.
Your punishment
is going to be...
...to go get some
potato chips.
There are none here.
Yes, there are. Go find them.
I've fought
With crocodiles
I've balanced on a wire
Carrying 500 kilos
I've traveled around the
World in less than a second
Crossed 100 labyrinths
And never got lost
Breathed in and out
Of the water like seals
I'm bulletproof,
I catch bullets with my mouth
My creativity soars
Like airplanes
I can build a brain
Without instructions
I speak every language
Of every alphabet
I have a bigger vocabulary
Than any dictionary
I have the sight of an eagle,
The sense of smell of a dog
I can walk barefoot
Over iron nails
I am immune to death
I do not need blessings
Because
I always have good luck
Come with me to take
A walk around the park
Because I have more stories to
Tell you than Garca Mrquez
For you, everything I do,
I do for you
Because you bring out
The best in me
I am everything that I am
Because you are everything
That I want
For you, everything I do,
I do for you
Because you bring out
The best in me
I am everything that I am
Because you are everything
That I want
I can jump rope
With only one leg
I can see in the dark
Without a flashlight
I can cook whatever you want
I am a chef
I have sex 24/7 all month
I can blow away
The gray clouds
so you'll have a good day
I also know how to communicate
Telepathically
For you, I will cross
Borders without a visa
And bring out a true smile
From the Mona Lisa
For you, I breathe
Before dying
For you I go to church and listen to
The whole Sermon without sleeping
I continue being King, though
I do not have a kingdom
My sweat smells like perfume
And my hair is always done
I know how to fight in
All the martial arts
I also know how to
Communicate with the animals
The more time passes,
The younger I look
And I composed this song
Without hearing like Beethoven
For you, everything I do
I do for you
Because you bring out
The best in me
I am everything that I am
Because you are everything
That I want
For you, everything I do
I do for you
Because you bring out
The best in me
I am everything that I am
Because you are everything
That I want