Clue (1985) Movie Script

- ls everything ready?
- Oui, monsieur.
You have your instructions?
ls everything all right, Mrs. Ho?
Dinner will be ready at 7:30.
Good evening.
Good evening. I don't know if...
Yes indeed, sir,
you are expected, Colonel.
May I take your coat?
It is Colonel Mustard, isn't it?
- No, that's not my name. My name's...
- Forgive me, sir.
Tonight, you may well feel obliged
to my employer
for the use of an alias.
And who are you, sir?
I'm Wadsworth, sir.
The butler.
Yvette, could you attend to the colonel
and give him anything he requires.
Within reason, that is.
Wadsworth, I was...
Do come in, madam. You are expected.
Do you know who I am?
Only that you are to be known
as Mrs. White.
Yes. It said so in the letter. But why?
May I introduce you?
Mrs. White, this is Yvette, the maid.
I see you know each other.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Want a lift?
Yes, please.
Thanks. I'm late for a dinner date.
Me, too. Where are you going?
Let's see.
Hill House, off Route 41.
Wait a minute. Let me look at that.
That's where I'm going.
I got a letter like this.
And this is Mrs. Peacock.
- How do you do.
- Hello.
Yvette, will you go and check
that dinner will be ready
as soon as all the guests have arrived.
Is this the right address
to meet Mr. Boddy?
You must be Mr. Green.
- Yes.
- Sit!
No. Not you, sir.
It should be just off there.
That must be it.
Why has the car stopped?
It's frightened.
What a godforsaken place.
Professor Plum and Miss Scarlet.
I didn't realize you were acquainted.
We weren't.
May I present
Professor Plum and Miss Scarlet.
Of course, since you've each been
addressed by a pseudonym,
you'll have realized that nobody here
is being addressed by their real name.
I'm sorry.
I'm a little accident-prone.
You'll find your names
beside your places.
Please be seated.
Is this place for you?
Indeed, no, sir.
I'm merely a humble butler.
What exactly do you do?
- I buttle, sir.
- Which means what?
The butler is head of the kitchen
and dining room.
I keep everything tidy. That's all.
Well, what's all this about, butler,
this dinner party?
"Ours not to reason why,
ours but to do and die."
Merely quoting, sir,
from Alfred, Lord Tennyson.
I prefer Kipling myself.
"The female of the species
is more deadly than the male."
You like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?
Sure. I'll eat anything.
Shark's fin soup, madam.
So, is this for our host?
No, sir.
For the seventh guest, Mr. Boddy.
I thought Mr. Boddy was our host.
So did I.
So, who is our host, Mr. Wadsworth?
Well, I'm gonna start while it's still hot.
Now, shouldn't we wait
for the other guest?
I'll keep something warm for him.
What'd you have in mind, dear?
Well, someone's got to break the ice
and it might as well be me.
I mean, I'm used to being a hostess.
It's part of my husband's work.
And It's always difficult
when a group of new friends
meet together for the first time
to get acquainted.
So, I'm perfectly prepared to
start the ball rolling.
I mean, I have absolutely no idea
what we're doing here
or what I'm doing here
or what this place is about,
but I am determined to enjoy myself.
I'm very intrigued.
And, my, this soup's delicious, isn't it?
You say you are used to being a
hostess as part of your husband's work?
Yes, it's an integral part of your life
when you're the wife of a...
But then I forgot, we're not supposed to
say who we really are,
though heavens to Betsy
I don't know why.
Don't you?
I know who you are.
Aren't you gonna tell us?
How do you know who I am?
I work in Washington, too.
So, you're a politician's wife?
Yes, I am.
Well, come on then.
Who's your husband?
- So, what does your husband do?
- Nothing.
Well, he just lies around
on his back all day.
Sounds like hard work to me.
I'm sorry.
I'm afraid I'm a little bit accident-prone.
Watch it.
My, oh.
Mmm. This is one of my favorite recipes.
I know, madam.
So, what do you do in Washington D.C.,
Mr. Green?
Come on. What do you do?
I mean, how are we to get acquainted if
we don't say anything about ourselves?
Perhaps he doesn't want to get
acquainted with you.
Well, I'm sure I don't know.
But if I wasn't trying to keep
the conversation going,
then we would just be sitting here in
an embarrassed silence.
Are you afraid of silence, Mrs. Peacock?
Yes... No, why?
Just seems to me that
you seem to suffer
from what we call "pressure of speech."
"We"? Who's "we"? Are you a shrink?
I do know a little bit about
psychological medicine, yes.
You're a doctor?
I am, but I don't practice.
Practice makes perfect.
I think most men need a little practice,
don't you, Mrs. Peacock?
What do you do, Professor?
I work for UNO,
the United Nations Organization.
Another politician. Jesus!
No, I work for a branch of UNO. WHO,
the World Health Organization.
Well, what's your area
of special concern?
Family planning.
What about you, Colonel,
are you a real colonel?
I am, sir.
You're not gonna mention
the coincidence
that you also live in Washington, D.C.?
How did you know that?
Have we met before?
I've certainly seen you before,
although you may not have seen me.
So, Miss Scarlet, does this mean that
you live in Washington, too?
Sure do.
Does anyone here
not live in Washington D.C.?
I don't.
Yes, but you work for the United
Nations. That's a government job.
And the rest of us all live in
a government town.
Anyone here not earn their living from
the government, one way or another?
Wadsworth, where's our host,
and why have we been brought here?
Good evening.
You're eagerly awaited.
Are you locking me in?
I'll take the key.
Over my dead body, sir.
May I take your bag?
No. I'll leave it here 'till I need it.
It contains evidence,
I presume?
It contains surprises, my friend.
That's what it contains, surprises.
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present Mr. Boddy.
What are they all doing here?
Eating dinner.
Do sit down, Mr. Boddy.
No, you can take that away, honey.
Look! I demand to know
what's going on.
Now, why have we all been dragged
out here to this horrible place?
Well, I believe we all received a letter.
My letter says,
"it will be to your advantage
to be present on this date.
"Because Mr. Boddy will bring to an end
a certain long-standing, confidential,
"and painful financial liability."
It is signed, "A friend."
I received a similar letter.
So did we. Didn't we?
I also received a letter.
No, thanks, Yvette. I just ate.
Now how did you know her name?
We know each other.
Don't we, dear?
Forgive my curiosity, Mr. Boddy,
but did your letter say the same thing?
- No.
- I see.
Can I interest any of you
in fruit or dessert?
In that case, may I suggest
we adjourn to the study
for coffee and brandy,
at which point I believe our unknown
host will reveal his intentions.
There's no one here.
Please help yourself to brandy
and be seated.
Mind if I smoke?
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm instructed to explain to you what
you all have in common with each other.
Unless you would care to do the honors,
Mr. Boddy?
Why me? Do they know who I am?
I don't think so. You've never identified
yourself to them, I believe.
It's a hoax. I suggest we all leave.
I'm sorry, sir.
You cannot leave this house!
No? Who's gonna stop me?
There's no way out.
All the windows have bars.
All the doors are locked.
This is an outrage.
You can't hold us prisoner!
He's right!
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
Please return to the study.
Everything will be explained.
You, too, Mr. Boddy.
Other way!
You can't get out that way.
Why not? It's only glass.
Ladies and gentlemen,
you all have one thing in common.
You're all being blackmailed.
For some considerable time,
all of you have been paying
what you can afford,
and in some cases
more than you can afford,
to someone who
threatens to expose you,
and none of you know who's
blackmailing you. Do you?
Please! I've never heard anything
so ridiculous!
Nobody could blackmail me.
My life is an open book.
I've never done anything wrong.
Anybody else wish to deny it?
Very well.
As everyone here is in the same boat,
there's no harm in my revealing
some details.
And my instructions are to do so.
Thank you, Yvette.
Don't you think you might
spare us this humiliation.
I'm sorry.
Professor Plum, you were once
a professor of psychiatry,
specializing in helping paranoid
and homicidal lunatics
suffering from delusions of grandeur.
Yes, but now I work for
the United Nations.
No, your work has not changed. But
you don't practice medicine at the UN.
His license to practice has been lifted.
Why? What did he do?
You know what doctors aren't allowed to
do with their lady patients?
- Yeah.
- Well, he did.
How disgusting!
Are you making moral judgments,
Mrs. Peacock?
How then do you justify taking bribes
in return for delivering your husband.
Senator Peacock's vote
to certain lobbyists?
My husband's a paid consultant.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Not if it's publicly declared, perhaps.
But if the payment is delivered by
slipping used greenbacks
in plain envelopes
under the door of the men's room, how
would you describe that transaction?
I'd say it stinks.
How would you know?
When were you in that men's room?
So it's true?
No. It's a vicious lie!
I'm sure we're all glad to hear that.
But you've been paying
blackmail for over a year now
to keep that story out of the papers.
Well, I am willing to believe you.
I, too, am being blackmailed
for something I didn't do.
- Me, too.
- And me.
- Not me.
- You're not being blackmailed?
I'm being blackmailed all right.
But I did what I'm being blackmailed for.
What did you do?
To be perfectly frank,
I run a specialized hotel and a
telephone service which provides
gentlemen with the company
of a young lady for a short while.
What's the phone number?
So how did you know
Colonel Mustard works in Washington?
Is he one of your clients?
- Certainly not.
- I was asking Miss Scarlet.
Well, you tell them it's not true.
It's not true.
- Is that true?
- No, it's not true.
- Aha! So it is true!
- A double negative.
A double negative?
Do you mean you have photographs?
That sounds like a confession to me.
In fact, the double negative
has led to proof positive.
I'm afraid you gave yourself away.
Are you trying to make me look stupid
in front of the other guests?
You don't need any help from me, sir.
That's right!
Seriously, I don't see what's so terrible
about Colonel Mustard
visiting a house of ill fame.
Most soldiers do, don't they?
But he holds a sensitive security post
in the Pentagon.
And, Colonel,
you drive a very expensive car
for someone who lives
on a colonel's pay.
I don't. I came into money during the
war when I lost my mommy and daddy.
Mrs. White, you've been paying our
friend the blackmailer
ever since your husband died under,
shall we say, mysterious circumstances.
Why is that funny?
I see. That's why he was lying
on his back. In his coffin.
I didn't kill him.
Then why are you
paying the blackmailer?
I don't want a scandal, do I?
We had had a very
humiliating public confrontation.
He was deranged. He was a lunatic.
He didn't actually seem to
like me very much.
He threatened to kill me in public.
Why would he want to kill you in public?
I think she meant
he threatened in public to kill her.
Was that his final word on the matter?
Being killed is pretty final,
wouldn't you say?
And yet, he was the one who died.
Not you, Mrs. White. Not you.
What did he do for a living?
He was a scientist. Nuclear physics.
What was he like?
He was always
a rather stupidly optimistic man.
I mean, I'm afraid It came as a great
shock to him when he died.
But he was found dead at home.
His head had been cut off.
And so had his...
You know.
I had been out all evening at the movies.
Do you miss him?
Well, it's a matter of life after death.
Now that he's dead, I have a life.
But he was your second husband.
Your first husband also disappeared.
But that was his job.
He was an illusionist.
But he never reappeared.
He wasn't a very good illusionist.
I have something to say.
I'm not gonna wait for Wadsworth
here to unmask me.
I work for the State Department,
and I'm a homosexual.
I feel no personal shame
or guilt about this,
but I must keep it a secret
or I'll lose my job on security grounds.
Thank you.
that just leaves Mr. Boddy.
What's your little secret?
His secret? Haven't you guessed?
He's the one who's blackmailing you.
You bastard!
Put 'em up!
if you can't fight fairly, don't fight at all.
Nobody calls me a bastard!
Was that necessary,
Mrs. White?
WADSWORTH Wait, wait!
The police are coming.
- No, no!
- No!
Blackmail depends on secrecy.
You've all admitted how
he's been able to blackmail you.
All you have to do is tell the police,
he'll be convicted
and your troubles will be over.
It's not so easy.
You'll never tell the police.
Then I shall.
I have evidence in my possession.
And this conversation
is being tape recorded.
Point of order.
Tape recordings aren't
admissible evidence.
Ladies and gentlemen, the police
will be here in about 45 minutes.
Tell them the truth,
and Mr. Boddy will be behind bars.
Where are you going this time?
I think I can help them
make up their minds.
Can I just get my little bag
from the hall?
Who can guess
what's in here?
The evidence against us, no doubt.
We didn't know we were
meeting you tonight.
Did you know you were meeting us?
What were you told, precisely?
Merely, that you were all meeting to
discuss our little
financial arrangements.
And if I didn't appear,
Wadsworth would be informing
the police about it all.
Naturally, I could hardly resist
putting in an appearance.
Excuse me.
Open them.
Why not?
I enjoy getting presents
from strange men.
A candlestick?
What's this for?
In your hands,
you each have a lethal weapon.
If you denounce me to the police,
you will also be
exposed and humiliated.
I'll see to that in court.
But if one of you kills Wadsworth now,
no one but the seven
of us will ever know.
He has the key to the front door,
which he said would only be opened
over his dead body.
I suggest we take him up on that offer.
The only way to avoid finding yourselves
on the front pages,
is for one of you to kill Wadsworth now.
- It's not Wadsworth!
- Is he alive?
Mr. Boddy.
Stand back! Give him air!
Let me see.
He's dead!
- Who had the gun?
- I did.
- Then you shot him!
- I didn't!
Well, you had the gun.
If you didn't shoot him, who did?
Nobody! Look.
There's no gunshot wound.
Somebody tried to grab the gun from
me in the dark and the gun went off.
Look! The bullet broke that vase
on the mantle.
Sorry. Excuse me.
He's absolutely right. Look, there's a
bullet hole here in the wall. See that?
- How did he die?
- I don't know!
I'm not a forensic expert!
One of us must have killed him.
I didn't do it.
I need a drink.
Maybe he was poisoned.
Mrs. Peacock, it's all right.
We don't know anything.
Sit down. Sit down.
I had to stop her from screaming.
Was the brandy poisoned?
I don't know.
Looks like we'll never know.
Unless she dies, too.
It's locked.
Open up...
- It must be the murderer!
- Why would he scream?
He must have a victim in there.
- My God! Yvette!
- My God!
You're alive.
- No thanks to you.
- What do you mean?
You locked me up with a murderer,
you idiot!
So the murderer is in this room?
But where?
Where? Here.
We're all looking at him or her!
It's what Mrs. White said in the study,
one of you is the killer!
How did you know we said that?
I was listening.
Why were you screaming in here
all by yourself?
Because I am frightened. Me, too.
I also drink the cognac. Mon Dieu!
I can't stay here by myself.
Come back to the study with us.
With the murderer?
There's safety in numbers, my dear.
There's no indication of how he died?
- No.
- This is terrible.
This is absolutely terrible.
It's not what I'd intended.
My God!
Not what you intended?
So, you're not the butler?
I'm not the butler,
but I am a butler.
In fact, I was his butler.
If he told you to invite us all to
his house, why did he arrive late?
I invited you. In fact, I wrote the letters.
It was all my idea.
Wait a minute. I don't understand.
Why did you invite us here
to meet your late employer?
Were you assisting him
to blackmail us?
Certainly not!
I think you'd better explain.
Please sit down, everyone.
When I said I was Mr. Boddy's butler,
this was both true and misleading.
I was once his butler,
but it was not his untimely death
this evening
that brought my employment
with him to an end.
When did it come to an end?
When my wife decided to end her life.
She, too, was being blackmailed by
this odious man
who now lies dead before us.
He hated my wife
for the same reason he hated all of you.
He believed that you were all
thoroughly un-American.
I'm sorry.
For some reason he felt that it
was inappropriate
for a senator to have a corrupt wife,
for a doctor to take advantage
of his patients,
for a wife to emasculate her husband,
and so forth.
But this is ridiculous.
If he was such a patriotic American,
why didn't he just report us
to the authorities?
He decided to put his information
to good use
and make a little money out of it.
What could be
more American than that?
What was your role in all this?
I was a victim, too.
At least, my wife was.
She had friends who were
My God.
Well, we all make mistakes.
Mr. Boddy threatened to give
my wife's name
to the House Un-American Activities
Committee unless she named them.
She refused, so he blackmailed her.
We had no money.
And the price of his silence
was that we work for him for nothing.
We were slaves.
To make a long story short...
Too late.
The suicide of my wife
preyed on my mind
and created a sense of injustice in me.
I resolved to put Mr. Boddy behind bars.
It seemed to me the best way to do it
and to free all of you from the same
burden of blackmail
was to get everyone face to face,
confront Mr. Boddy with his crimes,
and then turn him over to the police.
So, everything's explained.
Nothing's explained.
We still don't know who killed him.
The point is we've got to find out in the
next 39 minutes before the police arrive.
My God. We can't have them
come here now.
But how can we possibly find out
which of you did it?
What do you mean,
"which of you did it"?
Well, I didn't do it!
Well, one of us did. We all had the
opportunity. We all had a motive.
Great! We'll all go to the chair.
- Maybe it wasn't one of us!
- Who else could it have been?
Who else is in the house?
- Only the cook!
- Only the cook!
- The cook!
- The cook!
Well, she's not here.
I didn't do it!
Somebody help me, please.
- Don't touch it.
That's evidence.
Not for us.
We have to find out who did this.
We can't take fingerprints.
I think you'd better
explain yourself, Wadsworth.
Me? Why me?
Who would want to kill the cook?
Dinner wasn't that bad.
How can you make jokes
at a time like this?
It's my defense mechanism.
Some defense.
If I was the killer, I'd kill you next.
I said "if." If.
Hey, come on. There's only one
admitted killer here.
And it is certainly not me. It is her.
I've admitted nothing.
Well, you paid the blackmail.
How many husbands have you had?
Mine or other women's?
- Yours.
- Five.
- Five?
- Yes. Just the five.
Husbands should be like Kleenex,
soft, strong, and disposable.
You lure men to their deaths like
a spider with flies.
Flies are where men
are most vulnerable.
Well, if it wasn't you, then who was it?
Who had the dagger, anyway?
It was you, Mrs. Peacock, wasn't it?
Yes. But I put it down.
- Where?
- In the study.
- When?
- I don't know.
Before I fainted, or after I fainted...
I don't know! But any of you
could have picked it up.
Look. I suggest we take the cook's body
into the study.
I'm the butler.
I like to keep the kitchen tidy.
- Look!
- What?
The body's gone!
What are you all staring at?
- Well, who's there?
- Nobody.
- What do you mean?
- Nobody.
No body, that's what we mean.
Mr. Boddy's body's gone.
- Maybe he wasn't dead.
- He was!
We should've made sure.
How? By cutting his head off,
I suppose?
- That was uncalled for.
- Where is he?
We'd better look for him.
Well, he couldn't have been dead.
He was. At least, I thought he was.
What difference does it make now?
Makes quite a difference to him.
Maybe there is life after death.
Life after death's as improbable
as sex after marriage.
Maybe Mr. Boddy killed the cook!
I don't know.
Well, if you'll excuse me. I have to...
- ls there a little girl's room in the hall?
- Oui.oui. Madame.
No, I just want to powder my nose.
What's this, Wadsworth?
I'm afraid those are the negatives to
which Colonel Mustard earlier referred.
My God.
Were you planning to blackmail him,
Certainly not.
I'd obtained them for the colonel
and I was going to give them back
as soon as Mr. Boddy was unmasked.
Very pretty. Would you like to see
these, Yvette? They might shock you.
No, merci. I am a lady.
How do you know what kind of
pictures they are if you're such a lady?
What sort of pictures are they?
They're my pictures and
I'd like them back please.
No. I'm afraid there's something in
them that concerns me, too.
Let me see.
Nobody can get into that position.
Sure they can.
Let me show you.
Get off me.
It's Mr. Boddy!
He's attacking her.
No. No, he's dead.
Mr. Boddy. Dead again!
My God.
She's going to faint.
Somebody catch her!
I'll catch her.
Fall into my arms.
You've got blood on your hands.
I didn't do it!
He's got new injuries.
Well, he's certainly dead now.
Why would anyone
want to kill him twice?
Seems so unnecessary.
That's what we call overkill.
What we call psychotic.
Unless he wasn't dead before.
What's the difference?
That's what we're trying to find out!
We're trying to find out
who killed him, and where,
and with what!
There's no need to shout!
I'm not shouting!
All right, lam!
I'm shouting! I'm shouting! I'm...
Okay, put the corpses on the sofa.
Ladies first.
Careful. Don't get blood on the sofa.
How do we do this?
The dagger will go further into her back.
Tip her forward over the arm.
Now Mr. Boddy.
A little higher.
There we go.
Now. Who...
Who had access to the candlestick?
- All of us.
- It was given to you.
Yeah, but I dropped it on the table.
Anyone could've picked it up. You, him.
Look. We still have these weapons,
the gun, the rope, the wrench,
the lead pipe.
Let's put them all in this cupboard
and lock it.
There's a homicidal maniac about.
- Good idea.
- Good idea.
- What are you doing with the key?
- Putting it in my pocket.
- Why?
- To keep it safe, obviously.
That means that you can
open it whenever you want.
- But it also means that you can't.
- What if you're the murderer?
I'm not.
But what if you are?
Well, it's got to be put somewhere.
If I've got it, I know I'm safe.
We don't know that we are.
I've an idea. We'll throw it away.
Good idea!
- Wonderful!
- Right away! Brilliant.
Can we help?
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb
the whole household,
but my car broke down out here
and I was wondering
if I could use your phone.
Just a moment please.
Very well, sir.
Would you care to come in?
Well, where is it?
What, the body?
The phone. What body?
There's no body. Nobody.
There's nobody in the study.
- No!
- No!
But I think there's a phone in the lounge.
Thank you.
When you've finished your call, perhaps
you'd be good enough to wait here.
Where's the key?
In my pocket.
Not that key. The key to the cupboard.
- With the weapons.
- Do you still wish me to throw it away?
Well, what now?
Wadsworth, let me out.
- No.
- Why not?
We've got to know who did it.
We're all in this together now.
If you leave,
I'll say that you killed them both.
- Me, too.
- Me, too.
Wadsworth, I'll make you sorry
you ever started this.
One day, when we're alone together...
Mrs. White, no man in his right mind
would be alone together with you.
Well, I could use a drink.
So could I.
Just checking.
Everything all right?
Yep. Two corpses. Everything's fine.
Anybody else want a whiskey?
All right, look.
Pay attention, everybody.
Wadsworth, am I right in thinking
there's nobody else in this house?
Then there is someone else
in this house?
- No, sorry. I said "no" meaning yes.
- "No" meaning yes?
Look. I want a straight answer.
Is there someone else or isn't there,
yes or no?
No, there is,
or no there isn't?
Don't you think we should get that man
out of the house
before he finds out
what's been going on here?
How can we throw him outside
in this weather?
If we let him stay in the house,
he may get suspicious.
If we throw him out,
he may get even more suspicious.
If I were him, I'd be suspicious already.
Who cares? That guy doesn't matter.
Let him stay locked up
for another half hour.
The police will be here by then,
and there are two dead bodies
in the study!
Well, there's still some confusion
as to whether or not there's
anybody else in this house.
I told you there isn't.
There isn't any confusion or
there isn't anybody else?
- Either. Or both.
- Just give me a clear answer.
- Certainly. What was the question?
- Ls there anybody else in the house?
- No!
- No!
That's what he says, but does he know?
I suggest we handle this
in proper military fashion.
We split up and search the house.
Split Up?
Yes. We have very little time left,
so we'll split up into pairs.
- Pairs?
- Yes.
Wait a minute. Suppose that
one of us is the murderer.
If we split up into pairs,
whichever one of us is left with
the killer might get killed.
Then we would've discovered
who the murderer is.
But the other half of the pair
would be dead!
This is war, Peacock.
Casualties are inevitable.
You cannot make an omelet
without breaking eggs.
Every cook will tell you that.
But look what happened to the cook.
Colonel, are you willing to
take that chance?
What choice have we?
I suppose you're right.
But it's dark upstairs.
And I'm frightened of the dark.
Will anyone go with me?
- I will.
- I will.
No, thank you.
I suggest we all draw lots for partners.
Ready? The two shortest together,
the next two shortest together. Agreed?
And I suggest that
the two shortest search the cellar,
and so on, up.
It's you and me, honeybunch.
The cellar.
Well, we know what's in the study.
We've just come from the library.
And the stranger's locked up
in the lounge.
Let's go look in the billiard room again.
Do you want to go up in front of me?
Absolutely non.
I'm sure there's no one up there.
Then you go in front.
All right.
Well, ladies first.
No, no, you can go first.
- No, no, no, I insist.
- No, I insist.
Well, what are you afraid of?
A fate worse than death?
No. Just death. Isn't that enough?
- Are you going in there?
- Yes. Are you?
I don't see any light switches in there.
Neither do I. But there must be
switches somewhere.
- Shall I come in with you?
- No!
I mean, no, thank you.
Ladies first.
No, thanks.
Go on. I'll be right behind you.
That's why I'm nervous.
Then we go together.
Stay there.
If there's anybody in here,
just look out!
Are you hiding?
I'm coming.
What room's this?
Search me.
All right.
Get your mitts off me.
Nobody here.
He's behind one of those curtains.
You look. I'll search the kitchen.
I'm a little nervous.
I'm in this big house,
and I've been locked into the lounge.
The funny thing is,
there's a whole group of people here
having some sort of party,
and one of them is my old boss from...
Looks like a secret passage.
Should we see where it leads?
What the hell.
I'll go first.
I've had a good life.
- Aah! God!
- It's all right.
My God!
Come on!
Please! Help us!
Help! Help!
Down here!
Down here! Get us out of here! Please!
Where's it coming from?
Where are we going?
- Where are they?
- The lounge!
The door is locked!
- I know.
- Then unlock it.
Where's the key?
The key's gone!
Never mind about the key.
Unlock the door!
I can't unlock the door without the key!
Let us in! Let us in!
Let us out! Let us out!
It's no good. Stand back.
There's no alternative.
I'm just going to have to break it down.
I know! I have it!
Will you shut up? We're doing our best.
They're shooting at us.
I've been shot.
- I've been shot.
- Come out. The door is open.
Why are you shooting that thing at us?
To get you out.
You know
you could've killed us.
I could've been killed!
I can't take any more scares.
But, look!
Which one of you did it?
We found him together.
- How did you get in?
- The door was locked.
It's a great trick.
There's a secret passageway from
the conservatory.
- Is that the same gun?
- From the cupboard?
But it was locked!
- No. It was unlocked.
- Unlocked?
But yes. See for yourself.
How did you know it was unlocked?
How did you know that
you could get at the gun?
I didn't.
I think I would break it open,
but it was open already.
A likely story.
Maybe they'll just go away.
- I'm going to open it.
- Why?
I have nothing to hide.
I didn't do it.
The key.
Thank you.
Good evening, sir.
I found an abandoned car down near
the gates of this house.
Did the driver come in here for
any help by any chance?
- No, no.
- No.
- Well, actually, yes.
- No.
There seems to be some kind of
Can I come in and use your phone?
Of course you may, sir.
You may use the one in the...
No. You could use the one in the...
Would you be kind enough to wait
in the...
In the library.
Don't I know you from someplace?
You all seem to be very
anxious about something.
It's the chandelier,
fell down and almost killed us.
Would you like to come
this way please, sir?
Frightfully drafty, these old houses.
Please help yourself to a drink,
if you'd like.
Not the cognac, just in case.
Just in case of what?
What now?
We should've told him.
- All very well for you to say that now.
- I said it then.
Shut up!
Let's clean this up.
Maybe the cop answered it.
And who shall I say is calling?
Would you hold on, please?
Let me out of here! Let me out of here!
You have no right to shut me in.
I'll book you for false arrest
and wrongful imprisonment
and obstructing an officer
in the course of his duty, and murder!
What do you mean, murder?
I just said it so you would open the door.
What's going on around here?
And why would you lock me in?
And why are you receiving phone calls
from J. Edgar Hoover?
- J. Edgar Hoover?
- That's right.
The head of
the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone?
I don't know. He's on everybody else's.
Why shouldn't he be on mine?
Excuse me.
What's going on here?
We're having a party.
- Mind if I look around?
- Sure.
You can show him around, Mr. Green.
Yes. You can show him the dining room,
the kitchen, the ballroom.
Officer, come with me.
I'll show you the dining room
or the kitchen
or the ballroom.
Make it look convincing.
So, this is the dining room.
No kidding?
Come on!
What's going on in those two rooms?
Which two rooms?
Those two rooms.
Those two rooms.
Officer, I don't think you should
go in there.
Why not?
Because it's all too shocking.
It's not all that shocking.
These folks are just having a good time.
My God.
Excuse me.
This man's drunk.
Dead drunk.
Dead right.
You're not gonna drive home, are you?
He won't be driving home, Officer.
I promise you that.
Somebody will give him a lift, huh?
We'll get him a car.
A long black car.
A limousine.
- Officer.
- You're too late. I've seen it all.
You have? I can explain everything.
- You don't have to.
- I don't?
Don't worry.
There's nothing illegal about any of this.
Are you sure?
Of course. This is America.
- I see.
- It's a free country. Don't you know that?
I didn't know it was that free.
May I use your phone now?
Why did you
lock him in again?
We haven't finished searching
the house yet.
We're running out of time.
Only 15 minutes before the police come.
The police already came!
- Shut up!
- Shut Up!
- Let's get on with it.
- Monsieur.
I can't believe it.
- I wonder where this one goes.
- Well, let's find out.
Let's try the ballroom again.
Don't you touch me!
Hello? Hello?
Shut the door.
Did anyone recognize you?
They must have, and not just my face.
They know every inch of my body,
and they're not the only ones.
It's you!
Something funny's going on here.
I don't know what it is.
No, I'm not on duty,
but I have a feeling that I'm in danger.
You know that big ugly house...
Are you there?
Da da da da da da
I am your singing telegram
I'm coming! I'm coming!
I'm just trying to find the door.
Help me!
What's this?
Another door?
Two murders.
Neither of them shot.
- I thought I heard a gun.
- So did I.
- I thought I heard the front door slam.
- God.
The murderer must've run out.
Three murders?
Six all together.
This is getting serious.
No gun. Yvette dropped it here.
Very well, I know who did it.
You do?
And furthermore,
I'm gonna tell you how it was all done.
Follow me.
In order to help you understand
what happened,
I shall need to take you through
the events of the evening step-by-step.
At the start of the evening,
Yvette was here by herself,
waiting to offer you all
a glass of champagne.
I was in the hall.
I know because I was there.
Then I hurried across to the kitchen.
And the cook was in here, alive,
sharpening knives, preparing for dinner.
And then
the doorbell rang.
- And it was you.
- Yes.
I asked you for your coat, and
I recognized you as Colonel Mustard.
And I prevented you
from telling me your real name
because I didn't want any of you to use
any name other than your pseudonym.
And I introduced myself to you
as a butler,
and I made across the hall to the library.
And then Yvette met you and smiled
and poured you a drink.
And the doorbell rang.
And it was Mrs. White
looking pale and tragic.
And I took her coat and hung it up.
And I introduced Mrs. White
to Colonel Mustard.
"Hello." "Hello."
And I noticed that Mrs. White
and Yvette flinched.
Then there was a rumble of thunder
and a crash of lightning.
- And to make a long story short...
- Too late!
One by one you all arrived.
And then the gong was struck
by the cook.
And we went into the dining room.
And Mrs. Peacock sat here.
And Professor Plum sat here.
Mrs. White sat here.
Mr. Green, Miss Scarlet,
Colonel Mustard.
This chair was vacant.
Anyway, we all revealed
we'd all received a letter.
You had a letter, and you had a letter,
and you had a letter.
Get on with it!
The point is... Blackmail!
All this came out after dinner
in the study.
You're right!
Mr. Green stood here.
And Mrs. Peacock here.
And Miss Scarlet here.
Professor Plum here.
And Colonel Mustard and Mrs. White.
- Get on with it!
- I'm getting there, I'm getting there.
And Mr. Boddy went to get
the surprise packages from the hall.
And you all opened your presents.
Mr. Boddy switched off the lights.
Mr. Boddy lay on the floor
apparently dead.
He was dead! I examined him.
Then why was he bashed on the head
a few minutes later with a candlestick
if he was dead already?
All right, I made a mistake.
Right, but if so, why was Mr. Boddy
pretending to be dead?
It could only be 'cause he realized
his scheme had misfired,
and the gunshot was intended
to kill him, not me.
Look. The bullet grazed his ear.
Clearly his best hope of escaping death
was to pretend to be dead already.
Whoever tried to grab the gun from me
in the dark was trying to kill him.
But remember what happened next.
Mrs. Peacock took a drink.
You said, "Maybe it's poisoned."
She screams. "Aah!"
We took her to the sofa.
Mr. Green...
"Well, I had to stop her screaming."
Then, more screaming.
Yvette! The billiard room!
We all rushed out.
But one of us wasn't here. No.
- No?
- No?
Maybe one of us
was murdering the cook.
Who wasn't here with us?
- Do you know?
- I do.
While we stood here,
trying to stop Yvette from panicking,
one of us could have
stayed in the study,
picked up the dagger,
run down the hall,
and stabbed the cook!
How could he risk it?
We might've seen him running back.
Not if they used this secret passage.
And the murdered ran back
down the secret passage to the study.
That's where it comes out?
How did you know?
This house belongs to a friend of mine.
I've known all along.
So you could be the murderer.
Don't be ridiculous.
If I was the murderer,
would I reveal to you how I did it?
Well, who else knew
about the secret passage?
We found it, Colonel Mustard and me.
You found it. You could've known
about it all the time.
But I didn't.
Well, why should we believe you?
Because she was with us all
in the billiard room doorway
while Yvette was screaming,
don't you remember?
But what I don't understand is
why was the cook murdered?
She had nothing to do with Mr. Boddy.
Of course she did.
I gathered you all here together
because you were all implicated
in Mr. Boddy's dastardly blackmail.
Did none of you deduce
the others were involved, too?
- What others?
- The cook and Yvette.
That's how he got all his information.
Before he could blackmail anyone,
Mr. Boddy had to discover
their guilty secret.
The cook and Yvette
were his accomplices.
I see.
So whoever knew
that the cook was involved killed her?
I know, because I was
Mr. Boddy's butler,
that the cook had worked for one of you.
You recognized Yvette, didn't you?
Don't deny it.
What do you mean don't deny it?
I'm not denying anything.
Another denial.
All right, it's true, I knew Yvette.
My husband had an affair with her,
but I didn't care, I wasn't jealous.
You knew Yvette, too, didn't you?
Yes. She worked for me.
And you also knew her, sir.
We've already established
that you were one
of Miss Scarlet's clients.
That's why you were so desperate
to get your hands on those negatives,
photographs of you and Yvette
in ?agrante delicto, remember?
Mr. Boddy threatened to send
those pictures to my dear old mother,
the shock would've killed her.
That would've been
quite an achievement,
since you told us that
she's dead already.
So, he had the motive.
You all had a motive.
But where and when
was Mr. Boddy killed?
Don't you see? Look.
We came back to the study with Yvette.
Mr. Boddy was on the floor,
pretending to be dead,
but one of us knows he's alive.
So I explained that I was Mr. Boddy's
butler and I'd invited you here.
And we realized there was only
one other person in the house.
The cook!
Well, where is he?
By now she was dead.
We laid her down
with our backs to the freezer.
One of us slipped through
the same secret passage.
Of course. Back to the study.
The murderer was in
the secret passage.
Meanwhile, Mr. Boddy
had been on the floor.
He jumped UP.
The murderer came out of
the secret panel,
picked up the candlestick.
Mr. Boddy followed us out of the study
and into the hall looking for an escape.
The murderer crept up behind him
and killed him!
Will you stop that?
Then he threw him into the toilet
and nonchalantly rejoined us
besides the cook's body in the kitchen.
It took less than half a minute.
So who wasn't there
the entire time in the kitchen?
Whoever it was is the murderer.
And we put the weapons
in the cupboard
locked it, and ran to the front door
to throw away the key.
The motorist!
I didn't throw it. I put it in my pocket.
And someone could've taken it out of
my pocket and substituted another.
We were all in a huddle.
- Anyone of us could've done that.
- Precisely.
Wait a minute.
Colonel Mustard
has a top-secret Pentagon job.
Mrs. White's husband was
a nuclear physicist, and...
Yvette is a link between them.
What's your top-secret job, Colonel?
I can tell you. He's working on
the secret of the next fusion bomb.
How did you know that?
- Can you keep a secret? So can I.
- Yeah.
Is this a plot between them, Wadsworth,
or did Colonel Mustard do it alone?
We shall see.
Let's look at the other murders.
Yes. Bad luck that motorist
arrived at that moment.
It wasn't luck. I invited him.
- You did?
- Of course, it's obvious.
Everyone here tonight was either
Mr. Boddy's victim or accomplice.
Everyone who's died gave him
vital information about one of you.
I got them here
so they'd give evidence against him
and force him to confess.
Yeah? What about that motorist?
What kind of information did he have?
He was my driver during the war.
And what was he holding over you?
He knew that I was a war profiteer.
I stole essential air force radio parts,
and I sold them on the black market.
That's how I made all my money.
But that doesn't make me a murderer.
Well, a lot of our airmen died
because their radios didn't work.
Was the policeman working
for Mr. Boddy, too?
The cop was from Washington.
He was on my payroll.
I bribed him once a week
so I could carry on with business.
Mr. Boddy found out somehow.
My God!
And the singing telegram girl?
She was my patient once.
I had an affair with her.
That's how I lost my license.
Mr. Boddy found that out, too.
Well, let's put her in the study
with the others.
So, now you all know why they died.
Whoever killed Mr. Boddy
also wanted his accomplices dead.
How did the murderer
know about them all?
I mean I admit
that I'd guessed that this young singer
informed on me to Mr. Boddy.
But I didn't know anything
about any of you until this evening.
First, the murderer needed
to get the weapons. Easy.
He stole the key from my pocket.
And then we all followed
Colonel Mustard's suggestion
that we split up and search the house.
That's right.
It was Colonel Mustard's suggestion.
And one of us got away
from his or her partner
and hurried to the study.
On the desk was the envelope
from Mr. Boddy.
It contained photographs and letters,
the evidence of Mr. Boddy's
network of informants.
Where is the envelope now?
Perhaps in the fire.
The only possible place.
Then, having found out the whole story,
the murderer went to the cupboard,
unlocked it with the key,
took out the wrench...
Then we found the secret passage
from the conservatory to the lounge,
where we found the motorist dead.
That's right. And we couldn't get in.
So Yvette ran to the open cupboard,
got the gun, and shot the door open.
And then the doorbell rang.
Whoever it is, they've got to go away,
or they'll be killed.
Good evening. Have you ever given any
thought to the kingdom of heaven?
The kingdom of heaven is at hand.
You ain't whistling Dixie.
Armageddon is almost upon us.
I got news for you. It's already here.
Go away!
But your souls are in danger.
Our lives are in danger, you beatnik!
The cop arrived next.
We locked him in the library.
We forgot the cupboard with
the weapons was now unlocked.
Then we split up again,
and the murderer switched off
the electricity.
My God!
Not again.
Turn on the lights!
Sorry. Didn't mean to frighten you.
You're a bit late for that!
I hate when he does that.
Then there were three more murders.
So which of us killed them?
None of us killed Mr. Boddy or the cook.
So who did?
The one person who wasn't with us.
- Yvette?
- Yvette?
She was in the billiards room
listening to our conversation.
She heard the gunshot.
She thought he was dead.
And while we all
examined the bullet hole,
she crept into the study,
picked up the dagger, ran to the kitchen,
and stabbed the cook.
We didn't hear the cook scream
because Mrs. Peacock was screaming
about the poisoned brandy.
Then Yvette returned
to the billiard room.
She screamed, and we all ran to her.
When did she kill Mr. Boddy?
When I said.
We all ran to the kitchen
to see the cook.
Yvette hid in the study
to check that Mr. Boddy was dead.
He got up and followed them
down the hall.
So she hit him on the head
with the candlestick,
and dragged him to the toilet.
To create confusion.
It worked.
Why did she do it?
Was it because
she was acting under orders
from the person who later killed her?
- Who?
Was it one of her clients?
Or was it a jealous wife?
Or an adulterous doctor?
It was her employer, Miss Scarlet.
That's a lie!
Is it?
You used her
the way you always used her.
You killed the motorist
when we split up to search the house.
How could I have known
about the secret passage?
Easy. Yvette told you.
So when we split up again,
you switched off the electricity.
It was easy for you
here on the ground ?oor.
Then, in the dark, you got the lead pipe,
and the rope, strangled Yvette,
ran to the library, killed the cop,
picked up the gun
where Yvette dropped it,
opened the front door,
recognized the singing telegram
from her photograph,
and shot her.
You've no proof.
The gun is missing.
Gentlemen, turn out your pockets.
Ladies, empty your purses.
Whoever has the gun is the murderer.
Brilliantly worked out, Wadsworth.
I congratulate you.
Me, too.
Shut Up!
Now there's one thing
I don't understand.
One thing?
Why did you do it?
Half of Washington knows
what kind of business you run.
You were in no real danger.
The whole town would be implicated
if you were exposed.
I don't think they know my real business.
My business is secrets.
Yvette found them out for me.
The secrets of Senator Peacock's
defense committee,
of Colonel Mustard's fusion bomb,
Professor Plum's UN contacts,
and the work of your husband,
the nuclear physicist.
So, it is political.
You're a communist!
No, Mr. Green,
communism is just a red herring.
Like all members
of the oldest profession,
I'm a capitalist,
and I'm gonna sell my secrets,
your secrets,
to the highest bidder.
What if we don't cooperate?
You will, or I'll expose you.
We could expose you. Six murders?
I hardly think it will enhance your
reputation at the UN, Professor Plum,
if it's revealed that
you've been implicated
not only in adultery
with one of your patients
but in her death
and the deaths of five other people.
You don't know what kind of people
they have at the UN.
I might go up in their estimation.
And it's no good
blackmailing me, madam.
I have no more money.
Neither do I.
I know, sweetie pie.
But you can pay me
in government information.
All of you.
Except you, Wadsworth.
You as a mere butler
have no access to government secrets.
So, I'm afraid your moment has come.
Not so fast, Miss Scarlet.
I do have a secret or two.
- Yeah? Such as?
- The game's up, Scarlet.
There are no more bullets
left in that gun.
Come on. You don't think
I'm gonna fall for that old trick.
It's not a trick.
There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in
the study, two for the chandelier,
two at the lounge door,
and one for the singing telegram.
- That's not six.
- One plus two plus two plus one.
- uh. It was only one shot
that got the chandelier.
That's one plus two plus one plus one.
Even if you're right, that'll be
one plus one plus two plus one.
Not one plus two plus one plus one.
Okay, fine, one plus two plus one...
Shut up!
Point is there's one bullet left
in this gun.
And guess who's getting it?
I'm only a guest.
Where's the chief?
Wadsworth, well done.
I did warn you, my dear.
Mr. Hoover is an expert on Armageddon.
Wadsworth. Don't hate me
for trying to shoot you.
Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn.
As I was trying to tell you, there are
no bullets left in this gun, you see?
One plus two...
Plus one...
Plus two...
Plus one is...
In the dark, the murderer
ran across the hall to the study,
picked up the rope and the lead pipe,
ran to the billiard room,
strangled Yvette.
Ran to the library, hit the cop
on the head with the lead pipe.
Then, coming out of the library, the
doorbell rang. It was a singing telegram.
The murderer picked up the gun
where Yvette dropped it,
ran to the door, opened it,
recognized the girl
from her photograph, shot her,
and then ran back to the cellar.
- The cellar!
- Yes.
But Colonel Mustard
wasn't in the cellar.
No, but you were.
You murdered them all.
You were the person who was missing
when the cook and Mr. Boddy
were murdered,
and the cook used to be your cook.
Don't you remember your fatal mistake?
You told us at dinner
that we were eating
one of your favorite recipes,
and monkey's brains,
though popular in Cantonese cuisine,
are not often to be found
in Washington, D.C.
Is that what we ate?
Why would I have murdered
all the others?
Obviously, in case Mr. Boddy
had told them about you.
So this all had nothing to do
with the disappearing nuclear physicist
and Colonel Mustard's work
on the new fusion bomb.
No. Communism was just a red herring.
Mrs. Peacock did it all.
There's no proof.
Well, the gun is missing.
Gentlemen, turn out your pockets.
Ladies, empty your purses.
Whoever has the gun
- is the murderer.
- Very well.
What do you propose to do about it?
- Nothing?
- Nothing at all.
I don't approve of murder,
but it seems to me you've done
the world a public service
by ridding it of an appalling blackmailer
and his disgusting informers.
But the police will be here any minute.
What happens then?
Why should the police come?
Nobody's called them.
- You mean...
- That's right.
Now I suggest that we stack
the bodies in the cellar,
lock it, leave quietly one at a time,
and pretend that none of this
has ever happened.
Great idea.
I'll leave first, if you don't mind.
Be my guest.
In fact, I think we all owe you
a vote of thanks.
For she's a jolly good fellow.
For she's a jolly good fellow.
Which nobody can deny.
For she's a jolly good fellow.
For she's a jolly...
I told you I didn't do it.
What if the authorities find out
what happened?
The FBI will take care of that.
- You mean...
- My call from Mr. Hoover.
I work for him of course.
How else could I have known
everything about you all?
There's still one thing
I don't understand.
One thing?
Who was Mrs. Peacock
taking bribes from?
A foreign power.
Her husband, the senator,
has influence over defense contracts.
Is there gonna be a cover-up?
Isn't that in the public interest?
What could be gained by exposure?
Does the FBI have a habit
of cleaning up after multiple murder?
Yes. Why do you think
it's run by a man called Hoover?
Mrs. Peacock.
How did you know my name?
The kingdom of heaven is at hand.
Okay, take her away.
Take your hands off me!
I'm a senator's wife!
Wadsworth, we got her.
You see, it's like the Mounties.
We always get our man.
Mrs. Peacock was a man?
Would anyone care for fruit or dessert?
Sorry, didn't mean to frighten anyone.
You're a bit late for that!
Then there were three more murders.
- Who did it?
- Who did it?
Let's consider each murder one by one.
Professor Plum.
You knew Mr. Boddy was still alive.
Even psychiatrists
can tell the difference
between patients who are alive or dead.
You fired the gun in the dark,
and missed,
so you pretended he was dead
that's how you were able
to kill him later, unobserved.
That's right. He was the missing
person in the kitchen
after we found the cook dead.
But he was with us in the billiard room
when we found Yvette screaming.
If that's when the cook was killed,
how did he do it?
I didn't!
You don't expect us to believe that,
do you?
I expect you to believe it.
You killed the cook,
she used to be your cook,
and she informed on you to Mr. Boddy.
You made one fatal mistake.
Sitting here at dinner,
Mrs. Peacock told us she was eating
one of her favorite recipes,
and monkey's brains,
though popular in Cantonese cuisine,
are not often to be found
in Washington, D.C.
Colonel Mustard, when we saw
the motorist at the front door,
you took the key to the weapons
cupboard out of my pocket,
then you suggested that we all split up.
You separated from Miss Scarlet,
crossed the hall,
opened the cupboard, took the wrench,
ran to the conservatory, entered the
lounge through the secret passage,
killed the motorist
with a blow on the head,
like that!
This is incredible.
Not so incredible
as what happened next.
After we all split up again,
I went upstairs with you,
yes, you, Mrs. White.
And while I was in the master bedroom,
you hurried downstairs
and turned off the electricity,
got the rope from the open cupboard,
and throttled Yvette.
Your were jealous that your husband
was shtupping Yvette.
That's why you killed him, too.
Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette.
I hated her so much,
it flames,
flames on the side of my face,
breathing, heaving breaths,
But while we were in the billiard room,
Miss Scarlet seized the opportunity
and under cover of darkness,
crossed to the library, where she hit
the cop, whom she'd been bribing,
on the head with a lead pipe.
True or false?
True. Who are you, Perry Mason?
So, it must have been Mr. Green
who shot the singing telegram.
I didn't do it!
Well there's nobody else left.
But I didn't do it!
The gun is missing.
Whoever's got the gun, shot the girl.
I shot her.
You .?
So, it was you.
I was going to expose you.
I know. So I choose to expose myself.
Please. There are ladies present.
You thought Mr. Boddy was dead.
But why?
None of you even met him till tonight.
You're Mr. Boddy!
Wait a minute!
SO who did I kill?
My butler.
He was expendable, like all of you.
I'm grateful to you all for disposing
of my network of spies and informers.
Saved me a lot of trouble.
Now there's no evidence against me.
This all has nothing to do
with my disappearing
nuclear physicist husband
or Colonel Mustard's work
with the new, top secret fusion bomb?
Communism was just a red herring.
The police will be here any minute.
You'll never get away with this,
any of you.
Why should the police come?
Nobody's called them.
You mean...
My God. Of course!
So why shouldn't we get away with it?
We'll stack the bodies in the cellar,
lock it,
leave quietly, one at a time,
and forget that any of this
ever happened.
And you'll just go on blackmailing us all.
Of course. Why not?
I'll tell you why not.
Good shot, Green.
Very good.
Are you a cop?
- No. I'm a plant.
- Plant?
I thought men like you
were usually called a fruit.
Very funny.
FBI. That phone call
from J. Edgar Hoover was for me.
I told you I didn't do it.
All right, who done it?
- They... She did...
- That lady... He...
- This one...
- Gentlemen...
They all did it!
But if you want to know
who killed Mr. Boddy,
I did, in the hall, with the revolver.
Okay, Chief, take them away.
I'm gonna go home
and sleep with my wife.